#woke up with some Thoughts this morning
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mochiwrites · 2 years ago
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sometimes I can’t help but wonder why grian is the way he is, especially with scar. scar offers him unconditional love and compassion, no matter the world. third life they were partners. last life scar clearly wanted a team with grian in the beginning. double life was… very convoluted but there was still that love there. and teaming with grian in limited life seemed to be all that scar wanted.
and yet grian pushes and pulls. he pulls scar close, reaches for him. but just before scar can get too close, grian pushes him away.
he kills him. he steals from him. he does things that really, scar should hate him for.
and it makes me wonder why. I mean, grian has unconditional love being offered to him. but he never takes it. not fully at least. there’s always a surface level acceptance. he gives just enough but takes so much more.
and we all know “grian is scared of killing scar again after third life”, but I can’t help but think it goes so much deeper than that. because on some level, grian does reciprocate scar’s feelings. he does love scar. his actions say that much.
but he’s always pushing scar away. maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to believe that scar’s love isn’t just something that scar is going to take away; like pulling the rug out from under him. maybe it’s because grian is afraid of giving scar an opportunity to betray him first.
or maybe he’s scared of the vulnerability that comes with loving and being loved. so he hurts scar before scar can hurt him, and it’s a way of keeping himself self (while also breaking himself down without realizing it).
and scar? I think scar sees all of that. grian’s fears and his defense mechanisms. yet he loves him in despite of it all. he continues to offer grian love and kindness, even as grian stabs him in the back. even as grian pushes him away to protect both scar and himself.
it’s like scar is trying to coax a wounded animal out from the corner. he’s patient. he’s kind. he’s loving. and he tries to show grian that he can be dangerous too, so that maybe grian won’t feel as scared. he tries to show grian that his love really is unconditional, that it isn’t a trick.
but grian is so buried in his fears that he doesn’t see it.
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justaz · 10 months ago
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thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking “whatre you doing?…before breakfast?”
#like in that scene in s2 when merlin was calling out arthurs name from under his bed#and he jumped up (thinking merlin was long gone) grabbed his sword and postured for a fight#or that one in idk which season when merlin was sneaking in his room and he woke up and grabbed his sword when merlin bumped a chair#and then merlin brought the canopy/curtains around his bed down on him#vs waking up to see melin splayed over him and staring for a beat#before flinching back#(he was definitely having some thoughts and/or dreams but thats neither here nor there)#idk thinking about arthur who trusts merlin implicitly and allows himself to lower his guard around him#his guard which he keeps up even in his sleep#GOD imagining them in an established relationship and merlin for once has /so/ much trouble waking arthur up#like before it was sorta bad but arthur was always in that half awake state#but now that theyre together….arthur wont even groan when merlin starts poking his ribs#arthur finally feeling so safe and protected that he allows his guard to drop in his sleep#and its the first time hes ever felt truly refreshed in the morning#so now merlin has infinitely more trouble waking him up but when hes up hes UP and ready to go#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#arthur bby they could never make me hate you#hes just a girl desperately craving love and protection#merlin isnt even offering it#hes shoving it into arthurs arms with insults flying off the tongue#theyre so disgusting#(affectionate)#<3#headcanon#head canon#hc
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mycatismyfriend · 20 days ago
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Angel the Series + the Shooting Script | 1x18 "Five By Five"
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lavenoon · 2 years ago
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@naffeclipse realized it's criminal I haven't drawn him with claws so far, since I love inflicting retractable claws on any version of the dca I touch
*self insert is not a girl (he/she)
og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!
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softpine · 1 year ago
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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩
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sun-e-chips · 2 years ago
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Late night magma with @muzzlemouths!
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^ dead mall dare au moon leaning on the movie projector in Waning Lights theater (probably just after he had to mess around and fix the worn thing).
Can you guess what movie is playing?
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letardoursprout · 3 months ago
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hey you guys know about the "hms can only die if their core (brain, heart, eyes) are destroyed" hc. okay so what if their cores being damaged but not enough to kill them had Effects on them, putting them in a pretty rough spot until they recover
so, for example, if heart's core was damaged he could end being pretty lethargic and emotionless, unable to really do much. apathetic, you could say :3
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fear-no-mort · 1 year ago
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pov it’s the night of December 2nd 2013 and you’ve just burst into your grandsons room to pick him up so he’s not down there when you blow up the world the guy who ruined your life is from because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let him stay down there with everyone else which is Really fucking weird because you thought even coming back here in the first place meant giving up forever on anything for the rest of your life but this goddamn kid stops you from blowing up the planet and now you’re basically permanently fucked because now you’re just gonna have to keep on living and it’s because you love him. and tomorrow morning you will be running from alien police with him
#i was going to just post a draft but i wanted something that felt more birthday-ish for The Day#i just think about the pilot a lot. rick thought he was going to just end everything there that night and when he was lying on the ground-#-afterward looking up at morty telling him it was all just a test in his mind he’s just like#Ohhhh shit. this is about to be so horrible. and little did he know morty was thinking the same thing#because they saw eachother on that night rick crashed in through the garage and they just looked at eachother#rick had seen other mortys everywhere previously but this was the first time he really Saw Morty#and they both thought#Ohhhh shit#bc they just Knew#rick and morty#rick Sanchez#morty smith#also do you think they just kinda spent the night outside in that place#like when rick passed out at the end of the cold open did morty not wake him up and he eventually fell back asleep#and they just stayed there. lol#probably not based off the fact that morty was sleep deprived in the morning#so he probably woke rick back up and they did some other shit that we never got to see#i like to think they maybe went to a gas station or something and got wrapped up in a little on-planet adventure#and it was super convoluted and dangerous but at a certain hour rick checked his several watches#and was like Oh shit morty w gottfa we gotta get you back home morty.#and he just ended whatever intense life threatening situation they were in immediately#and morty is like Rick WTF why didn’t you do that sooner we were gonna die!!! and rick cant come up with an excuse bc he really just wanted#to spend as much time with morty as possible so he just dodged the question and called him a stupid dumb dumb idiot baby#odiespeak
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blue-banditt · 23 days ago
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Still depressed btw but at least I have a fifth f vidka in my system!! I don't fuckign care, wait actually I do care about some things that I dont care about sober and it's great <333 I missed feeling literally anything but sadness and numbness!! Too bad this shit only lasts 10 hours
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chiimeramanticore · 2 months ago
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waow
#before anything else i must warn this is going to be. unorganized thoughts mostly#in the last year or so ive tried to regain confidence that i am in fact plural and am not just faking it#or mistaking other symptoms for DID. shake off the denial y'know. as is so signature for this damn disorder#a diagnosis probably wouldnt even make me feel more sure lol. and also getting diagnosed for this specifically is like#the final boss of psychiatry to put it lightly lol#but when it quiets down in headspace ur always gonna feel like. maybe its over. whatever that was#it was just me and brandy for a while#but guess who had a godawful night and then a godawful morning and split a new alter ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥#he hates it here! he might hate me for creating him! im not sure !#hell im not even rly sure if im juno or brandy rn lol. my mind is just so messy today#i woke up.. when did i wake up. like 9:30 i think and its 1pm now and i haven't gotten out of bed#i don't even remember all that time passing . i couldve sworn its only been like an hour. two at most#on the one hand this has all been kinda terrible and mentally exhausting but at the same time. hey cant say im faking now LMAO#the other hand is brandy. the other hand is absolutely brandy. i am tired lol#im only posting this here so i can just like. process it i guess#ive had a weird time finding an outlet to just spew random thoughts into since leaving twitter so. sorry#idk if anyone's expecting this of me but i always kinda feel like i need some level of professionalism on this account#keyword some. i know this is tumblr#but idk if these very open posts are. annoying? weird? uncomfortable? entertaining somehow?#i know I know theres no point in worrying abt how others percieve you . knowing that hasnt stopped me from doing it lol#i dont remember where i was going w this. maybe i didnt have a goal in the first place#idk if you read this far i dont rly need u to act like u didnt see it cuz like. wouldnt have posted it otherwise#but idk why i am posting. idk what i want out of anyone who has read all this#maybe just. interact w this post in some way idk. it's actually kinda grounding for me if you can believe it#bleghh im thinkin of cheating on my weed break just to treat myself after all this. weed + a long walk would fix me
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teethburger · 5 months ago
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ok so when you’re genderfluid are you supposed to just know what your gender is at any given time?? or do some genderfluids also have days where they’re like “ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idunno”
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queermania · 6 months ago
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i ate a spoonful of cool whip for breakfast and that was a mistake
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deus-ex-mona · 9 months ago
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i miss renrennnnnnnnnn
#woke up this morning and thought of him so now y’all have to think of him too#and so. once again. i try to bypass the preview website paywall for the renren chapter… (i’m not successful)#i want to see more of him (it’s a need at this point) i’ll settle for it if he shows up on the cover for vol 2 (im begging)#though i also wouldn’t mind if sahara ‘concon’ yuna shows up on vol 2 instead!!!! women’s wrongs yay#i’d l o s e it if he turns out to be another sicks and. like. dates nagisa while chizuhiyo becomes a thing#(all while concon and juri become bffs in the bg and bond over styling tips or sth)#i hope he gets a focus song some time soon (pls) i need him to inject some sanity into the chizuutan manga#though for some reason i think he looks like he’d be voiced by ono.ken…#he just has that vibe to him idk w h y#but. man. i want to see where he is and what he does during the events of the 2nd half of the [redacted] anime#i think it’d be super funny if renren and concon had to smack some sense into chizuutan behind the scenes to get her to make up with hiyo#yes it’d retcon. like. chizumama’s permission of hiyo’s unlawful entry but the [redacted] anime retcons everything anyway so why not#if the [redacted] anime can retcon yuko’s relocation to france the chizuutan manga can totally retcon a buncha other stuff r i g h t —#ok yup yeah enough renren thoughts for today; there’s not enough non region-locked info about him yet after all—#s o b s why is the chizuutan manga so hard to access worldwide why must you gatekeep renren from usssssss
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unma · 9 months ago
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@notwowee requested: Mettaton
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There is so much to say about this robot but let me start off with my initial thoughts on him.
For like, a good good while I wasn't sure what Mettaton's gender was? In all fairness I was raised in a hella conservative country and Undertale was the first piece of media I'd ever interacted with that even depicted queer people, so for a bit I assumed the pink meant he was probably female. That wasn't helped when I discovered that Mettaton was Blooky's cousin with the locked pink house.
Luckily for me he was discussed enough that I eventually realized my mistake before I ever had to admit it. That would have been emabrassing.
Anyway I absolutely adored this robot and his style, his quizzes were cool and he had the most charming attitude that made me smile whenever he was there (not to mention the quizzes were funny, too). Don't get me started on the musical. Or when he hits you with the puzzle you've almost certainly forgotten the rules for. Hotland is very well done, even if some people dislike having to deal with Alphys's messages there (personally I thought those were neat).
Despite all this I have to admit that I initially thought he was a lot more shallow than expected. I didn't realize he was the type of person to actually care about his love ones, and I probably would've believed anyone who told me he treated Alphys like shit (okay maybe I'd have been a little skeptical, but you get the point).
Nowadays, I'm honestly pretty fond of his relationship with Alphys, as he's probably the one person she relied on the most during her various fuck ups. Also, his... his worries about Alphys in the ending where he becomes king... ah, that still makes me tear up a little. You can tell he cares and regrets not being a better friend to her.
This is only partly related but I dislike Papyton. For no reason, really, I just don't like it, and I disliked having to see it so often (until I learnt filters existed, anyway). I couldn't tell you why; the ship's perfectly fine. Yet if I see a fic with it I click out. Oh well, maybe I'll get over it one day.
I could totally see a world in which I become as attached to Mettaton as I am to Cagliostro from GBF. I'm not trans by any stretch (perhaps I'm non-binary, given I don't actually care much about my own gender in the slightest, but for now I'll stick with cis+ until I actually feel like I should consider it more) but I do have admiration for characters like them who strive to be their best selves in terms of appearance and are absolutely confident in it. I suppose if I was born a girl, I'd be more attached to Mettaton than Cagliostro, but eh. Who knows.
Mettaton's importance (or rather, lack of) in the genocide run is saddening, though I have come to terms with it because in terms of the game's writing it's a pretty damn good decision. I do love that he got fangames giving him an actual battle though, it's lovely to see him actually get that chance to fight back.
I feel the need to restate once more that I adore his relationship with Alphys, and seeing works explore that relationship is always great. I think Mettaton is one of the least fan-explored of the game's main cast, so it'd be wonderful to see more works. It's a shame I'm too busy thinking about Sans, Frisk and Chara to do that myself, though.
One more thing: Until I wrote this post, I always wondered why Mettaton didn't just fight the human in his indestructible body instead, especially in the genocide route. I mean, it's obviously because his other forms are the ones actually designed for human eradication, of course, but I also like to think it's because he likes those forms a lot more than his box form, as he sees them as a proper expression of who he truly is. I just think that's neat. Sure, he's indestructible when stuck in the closet, hiding who he truly is, but it's restricting, and wouldn't you prefer to simply be you? Even if it could mean you could get hurt? I think that question is somewhat inseparable from Mettaton's character as a whole, as his overly confident and theatrical personality could perhaps be one answer to that. It's fine if you get hurt a little, because in the end you'll be much happier for it.
#undertale#mettaton#unma rambles#the void asks back#long post#this is the kinda post I'd look back on in like 5 years and be like “you clueless egg”#but I doubt it#don't think I'm trans because I've thought about it for a long ass time and that just doesn't fit me#for various reasons (mainly periods and breasts tbh those seem like a pain to deal with) I wouldn't want to be a woman#but I don't give a shit about being a man either#there's a genderbend manga where the mc doesn't care about being turned into a girl that I read at some point#lemme find the name rq#found it#it's “Mendokusagari Danshi ga Asa Okitara Onnanoko ni Natteita Hanashi”#aka “A Lazy Guy Woke Up as a Girl One Morning”#and I think if I were to be turned into a girl I'd react about the same way the mc did (I wouldn't give a shit lol)#who knows what that says about me#perhaps what I'm describing would make me fall under the nb category#but I don't care enough about labels to think about it much#maybe when I have more energy and time to spare for such trains of thoughts#damn that was a long ass ramble in the tags#anyway fun fact:#on the topic of Hotland Muffet was one of the hardest bosses for me to fight#the other being Papyrus#both of them took me way too long to beat#(it took me a bit to beat Undyne but that was because I didn't realize I could run away for a bit)#Omega Flowey I first-tried on my first playthrough#and Asgore just wasn't that hard in comparison#perhaps I just got gud over the course of the playthrough#that's probaly the case
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hana-bobo-finch · 20 days ago
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it’s March 10th…..you know what that means……reminiscing on That
#ohhh March 10th ouygghhhh#what is March 10th you may ask? heh. well.#about two years ago a series I can’t exactly say I enjoy was ending#but I was holding out hope that maybe. just maybe. my favorite characters would get a good ending#only redeeming part of the show. only reason I ever cared about it#so when it was announced there was an episode focusing on them airing on March 10th? I went feral and counted down to the last hour#one month until March 10th. 3 weeks. 2 weeks. one week. 4 days. 1 day. 13 hours. it was truly an obsession#and for what? I can’t exactly answer that. I don’t know what I was hoping for#some sort of redemption perhaps? that this show that I despise so heavily could pull through in the end?#in retrospect it was a ridiculous thing to think because Oh Boy#so on March 10th 2023 after a month of borderline insanity over this stupid episode. I woke up at 5 in the morning to watch it#watch it the best I could anyway. not officially and not subbed but. watch it nonetheless#and I will never forget the pure horror I felt when the episode wasn’t just boring. it was actively Bad. it was actively ruining my beloveds#it was everything I hated about the show wrapped up in a neat little bow. tailor made to piss me off#and I just. went back to bed and stared at the ceiling for an hour trying to process how something could be So Bad#that show never did redeem itself. it went out not with a bang but with a sputter like a dying fish#and now every March 10th that anger is renewed. after that day I stopped caring but the anger never went away#I wasted a month of my life waiting for an episode that was total garbage#aaandYES that show WAS in fact pokemonandWOAHHH YEAH MY FAVORITES WERE TEAM ROCKET HOW COULD YOU FUCKIN TELL#fun FACT I ACTUALLY DO FUCKING LOVE TEAM ROCKET AND THERES A A REAOSN I RESAD ROOTS IN THE FIRTS OKACE OTEHR THANPUMPKIN DADDY#AND EVEN THOUGH I DONT CARE ABOUT THE POKMEON ANIME ANYMORE I STILK LIKE ROOTS BETTER THAN THAT EPUSODE I’m GONNA EXPLODE#DAMN ITTTTT SOMETIMES I FORGET ROOTS IS ABOUT POKEMON IN THE FIRST PLACE#BUT THAT UNDERLYING TEAM ROCKET APPRECIATION IS STITO TEHRE DUCK!!! FICKL#ICANT LOOK AT THEM WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT ODBC NOW BUY OUHGHJ I SRILL LOVE GEHM#OFC COURSE THEY WEREE MY FAVORITE IWAS A CLOSSESTED QUEER TEENAGEr sobs SOBS#ok back to my regularly scheduled pumpkin daddy time to never bring this up ever again#actually no fuck it I think I will bring it up. get ready I’m pissed again#yeah lmfao I thought I stopped caring after starting PDBC but no the anger persists
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lookforanewangle · 2 months ago
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it is baffling to me how bad people are at being quiet, especially at night
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