#woke up with some Thoughts this morning
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sometimes I can’t help but wonder why grian is the way he is, especially with scar. scar offers him unconditional love and compassion, no matter the world. third life they were partners. last life scar clearly wanted a team with grian in the beginning. double life was… very convoluted but there was still that love there. and teaming with grian in limited life seemed to be all that scar wanted.
and yet grian pushes and pulls. he pulls scar close, reaches for him. but just before scar can get too close, grian pushes him away.
he kills him. he steals from him. he does things that really, scar should hate him for.
and it makes me wonder why. I mean, grian has unconditional love being offered to him. but he never takes it. not fully at least. there’s always a surface level acceptance. he gives just enough but takes so much more.
and we all know “grian is scared of killing scar again after third life”, but I can’t help but think it goes so much deeper than that. because on some level, grian does reciprocate scar’s feelings. he does love scar. his actions say that much.
but he’s always pushing scar away. maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to believe that scar’s love isn’t just something that scar is going to take away; like pulling the rug out from under him. maybe it’s because grian is afraid of giving scar an opportunity to betray him first.
or maybe he’s scared of the vulnerability that comes with loving and being loved. so he hurts scar before scar can hurt him, and it’s a way of keeping himself self (while also breaking himself down without realizing it).
and scar? I think scar sees all of that. grian’s fears and his defense mechanisms. yet he loves him in despite of it all. he continues to offer grian love and kindness, even as grian stabs him in the back. even as grian pushes him away to protect both scar and himself.
it’s like scar is trying to coax a wounded animal out from the corner. he’s patient. he’s kind. he’s loving. and he tries to show grian that he can be dangerous too, so that maybe grian won’t feel as scared. he tries to show grian that his love really is unconditional, that it isn’t a trick.
but grian is so buried in his fears that he doesn’t see it.
#momo rambles#scarian#desert duo#trafficshipping#traffic!grian#third life#last life#double life#limited life#woke up with some Thoughts this morning#oh man#grian’s character is so interesting to me#i want to study him
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thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking “whatre you doing?…before breakfast?”
#like in that scene in s2 when merlin was calling out arthurs name from under his bed#and he jumped up (thinking merlin was long gone) grabbed his sword and postured for a fight#or that one in idk which season when merlin was sneaking in his room and he woke up and grabbed his sword when merlin bumped a chair#and then merlin brought the canopy/curtains around his bed down on him#vs waking up to see melin splayed over him and staring for a beat#before flinching back#(he was definitely having some thoughts and/or dreams but thats neither here nor there)#idk thinking about arthur who trusts merlin implicitly and allows himself to lower his guard around him#his guard which he keeps up even in his sleep#GOD imagining them in an established relationship and merlin for once has /so/ much trouble waking arthur up#like before it was sorta bad but arthur was always in that half awake state#but now that theyre together….arthur wont even groan when merlin starts poking his ribs#arthur finally feeling so safe and protected that he allows his guard to drop in his sleep#and its the first time hes ever felt truly refreshed in the morning#so now merlin has infinitely more trouble waking him up but when hes up hes UP and ready to go#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#arthur bby they could never make me hate you#hes just a girl desperately craving love and protection#merlin isnt even offering it#hes shoving it into arthurs arms with insults flying off the tongue#theyre so disgusting#(affectionate)#<3#headcanon#head canon#hc
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@naffeclipse realized it's criminal I haven't drawn him with claws so far, since I love inflicting retractable claws on any version of the dca I touch
*self insert is not a girl (he/she)
og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!
#post let luce#dcamv#bloodstain fool#my art#naffeclipse#hiiiii I continue#thinking about this nearly kept me up when I first woke up at 5am#fortunately i thought about cuddling with him instead and fell back asleep FGHDJSK#hi I am SO lost in the sauce#im very happy in here so like. dont get me out <3#also yes good morning naff considering this timing have a little breakfast sugar FGHDJS#glad these are enjoyable for more people than just me bc otherwise i might start feeling bad at some point#but yeah self indulgent era#no stopping me now#off to draw the sleepy cuddles#<3#menace4menace
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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩
#we're so back baby#i think i'm finallyyyy through the worst of this awful depression i've been in for the past like. month and a half#i mean i woke up this morning and thought ''the sun is so beautiful'' so i think i'm good for now fjksjds#which is great because there's some heavy stuff coming up that i just couldn't handle in that mental state#so i'm hoping i'll be able to move things along a little quicker#but also i might be getting a job in retail against my better judgement so who knows#i've never actually worked in retail... i've done food service and i was a cashier at a pop up shop but nothing like an actual store#but i seriously can't find a job with my degree nor can i even find a desk job. so i'm. man. it's rough out here#i might have to move. but with what money?? lmao the eternal dilemma#SORRY this is a whole diary entry#i hope you guys are well 💖
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pov it’s the night of December 2nd 2013 and you’ve just burst into your grandsons room to pick him up so he’s not down there when you blow up the world the guy who ruined your life is from because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let him stay down there with everyone else which is Really fucking weird because you thought even coming back here in the first place meant giving up forever on anything for the rest of your life but this goddamn kid stops you from blowing up the planet and now you’re basically permanently fucked because now you’re just gonna have to keep on living and it’s because you love him. and tomorrow morning you will be running from alien police with him
#i was going to just post a draft but i wanted something that felt more birthday-ish for The Day#i just think about the pilot a lot. rick thought he was going to just end everything there that night and when he was lying on the ground-#-afterward looking up at morty telling him it was all just a test in his mind he’s just like#Ohhhh shit. this is about to be so horrible. and little did he know morty was thinking the same thing#because they saw eachother on that night rick crashed in through the garage and they just looked at eachother#rick had seen other mortys everywhere previously but this was the first time he really Saw Morty#and they both thought#Ohhhh shit#bc they just Knew#rick and morty#rick Sanchez#morty smith#also do you think they just kinda spent the night outside in that place#like when rick passed out at the end of the cold open did morty not wake him up and he eventually fell back asleep#and they just stayed there. lol#probably not based off the fact that morty was sleep deprived in the morning#so he probably woke rick back up and they did some other shit that we never got to see#i like to think they maybe went to a gas station or something and got wrapped up in a little on-planet adventure#and it was super convoluted and dangerous but at a certain hour rick checked his several watches#and was like Oh shit morty w gottfa we gotta get you back home morty.#and he just ended whatever intense life threatening situation they were in immediately#and morty is like Rick WTF why didn’t you do that sooner we were gonna die!!! and rick cant come up with an excuse bc he really just wanted#to spend as much time with morty as possible so he just dodged the question and called him a stupid dumb dumb idiot baby#odiespeak
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I found the clip gamers. Season 3 maybe could be happening soon :0 (sorry for the low quality Dan, you just gotta work with it)
original stream link
#I did cut some things out for storage sake#but he did thank cosplayers and artists and pretty much everyone in the community a lot!! if you guys want you watch the original stream!#I have a lot of thoughts on these tiny lil crumbs#(most of which he’s said before)#but the RPS tournament and officially confirming S2.5 as non canon with Bob’s timeskip concept is all new to me!!#I really woke up at 4 in the morning to do this#I should go back to bed lmaoo#TIMESKIP LORE FOR ALL OF TFFM……..
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Late night magma with @muzzlemouths!
^ dead mall dare au moon leaning on the movie projector in Waning Lights theater (probably just after he had to mess around and fix the worn thing).
Can you guess what movie is playing?
#I’m the bottom left you can see dmd sun advertising some state of the art kitchen appliances hehe#beloved moots#magma#dead mall dare au#dead mall dare moon#dead mall dare sun#dmd moon#dmd sun#crunch art#others art#others OC’s#sb daycare attendant#sb moondrop#sb moon#daycare attendant au#him your honor#also my nose was sniffly the whole time and I thought nothing of it#I woke up the next morning with a headache and soar throat so yeah oops#took a shower then proceeded to sleep in till 5pm and make my own chicken soup#soup was pretty good and feeling better already yippee!
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guys i am so serious. redbull need to get their shit together. how is MAX VERSTAPPEN coming P7 in quali. like how is this happening. it’s a nightmare.
#the car is BROKEN whats going on#i love lando. but i do not want max to lose wdc i am so sorry.#hm also good morning😭 clearly woke up with some thoughts#🗣️lilli speaks
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ok so when you’re genderfluid are you supposed to just know what your gender is at any given time?? or do some genderfluids also have days where they’re like “ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idunno”
#i always thought being genderfluid would be too much fuss because I thought you were supposed to just instantly know what gender you were#like every morning as soon as you woke up#but maybe I was thinking about it too literally#like right now I don’t really feel that strongly about it#but last Friday when someone called me ‘she’ my brain was like ❌😔❌ WRONG ❌😔❌#joey says some sh#gender#genderfluid#questions
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tattoo truth prequel lmao
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#jo sawashiro#masumi arakawa#snap sketches#this is just a silly unserious comic but i couldve made it serious if i thought hard about it probably#wait what was i saying i forget#oh wait i remember. anyway this is my truth from henceforth until rgg gives me the confirmation i want#its funnier this way.. lol#OH WAIT BUT I WAS SO ENGROSSED DOODLNG THIS I DIDNT DISCLOSE MY TERRIBLE MORNING#so i had a class at 8am right. thats what i and twenty other students thought#i was gonna say kids but... we're all in our twenties..... im gonna throw up ANYWAY#so firstly i accidentally fell back asleep after my morning routine so i woke up at 7:30 and like . i had to speedrun a shower right#and i didnt have time to eat and im just like 'oh god im gonna be late its so bad' and im running to the building#and this building sucks i always get lost in it but i turn the corner and i just see. A Hallway Of Students just waiting#and so i join them and like ten minutes pass so i just start rewatching WotH until by like 8:30 some genius is like#'hey it says the professor's not on campus....' SO WE ALL JUST LEAVE. LIKE THANKS FOR THE NOTICE ASSHOLE i cant wait to drop your class#oh but the best part my id card still doesnt work so as im getting back to my building i see the door like. 25% on its way to closing#so MY unnecessary ass runs across the street to grab the door right before it closes and then i just gotta awkwardly look at the door woman#like <:) hi i live here i promise the universe is just out to get me <:)#anyway.. i have one more class like three hours from now. its spanish so hopefully no biggie#and then after that... i hope my id card works and then ill prob call the bank..... great....#after that... who knows... maybe ill explode.. ok im done bye LMAO I JUST REALLY WANTED TO TALK BOUT MY DAY#thats the real reason why i mustered the will to finish this sketch i hoarded for weeks. i needed to rant LMAO OK BYE
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i ate a spoonful of cool whip for breakfast and that was a mistake
#why did i do this you ask?#great question!#yesterday i had a panic attack and around hour 6 of that panic attack i decided i wanted cool whip#so my roommate got me cool whip#and then i ate some cool whip#which didnt help the panic attack because why would it#but it did make me happy#and then this morning i woke up and thought 'cool whip!!!'#and now here we are#pp
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#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling#every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair#i am really struggling this time#every day is a struggle to get through#i'm losing my hair#i'm losing my reasons to live#i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human#i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke#i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart#whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor#and that i should do some shit to make me happy#and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids#for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon#like this isn't a way to live a life#i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy#i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point#i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over#if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there#i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something#i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me#i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager#i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes#and i want the will to actually get up in the morning#i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better#but i realize now they won't#i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them#i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh#and no one's coming to save me#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody#is this how it's supposed to be
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i miss renrennnnnnnnnn
#woke up this morning and thought of him so now y’all have to think of him too#and so. once again. i try to bypass the preview website paywall for the renren chapter… (i’m not successful)#i want to see more of him (it’s a need at this point) i’ll settle for it if he shows up on the cover for vol 2 (im begging)#though i also wouldn’t mind if sahara ‘concon’ yuna shows up on vol 2 instead!!!! women’s wrongs yay#i’d l o s e it if he turns out to be another sicks and. like. dates nagisa while chizuhiyo becomes a thing#(all while concon and juri become bffs in the bg and bond over styling tips or sth)#i hope he gets a focus song some time soon (pls) i need him to inject some sanity into the chizuutan manga#though for some reason i think he looks like he’d be voiced by ono.ken…#he just has that vibe to him idk w h y#but. man. i want to see where he is and what he does during the events of the 2nd half of the [redacted] anime#i think it’d be super funny if renren and concon had to smack some sense into chizuutan behind the scenes to get her to make up with hiyo#yes it’d retcon. like. chizumama’s permission of hiyo’s unlawful entry but the [redacted] anime retcons everything anyway so why not#if the [redacted] anime can retcon yuko’s relocation to france the chizuutan manga can totally retcon a buncha other stuff r i g h t —#ok yup yeah enough renren thoughts for today; there’s not enough non region-locked info about him yet after all—#s o b s why is the chizuutan manga so hard to access worldwide why must you gatekeep renren from usssssss
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not to post about someone who isn’t here anymore but I miss bbycnt so bad that’s my fucking friend right there she was the fucking best 😭
#unimportant thoughts#woke up to the sweetest message of support from her this morning#ripping my CHEST OPEN dude people CARE about me sometimes#😭😭😭#like! im her friend !!!#she wants me to be happy and cut out unhealthy people from my life !!#she introduces me to her girlfriend and sends me cat videos and !#stopping at any sadness in its tracks from now on by asking myself ‘what would bbycnt say about this’#what am i doin dude#this year i told myself one of my goals was to stop getting so in my head about my friendships#and consciously reach out to friends more and trust that they would communicate if i was annoying#and where am i now? frustratingly alone feeling because i let myself convince myself everyone hates me#refusing to reach out to people who have done absolutely nothing but welcome me with kindness#just becsuse i decided that they dont care about me the way i want to according to my arbitrary rules and experiences#UGH#need to splash water on my face and slap my cheeks a few times#Teddy!!! be normal about your friendships and bonds with people !!!!#you cant expect everyone to understand when youre sad or lonely and want reached out to!!! you have to reach out yourself too!!!!#i mean admittedly some of my pain is that it feels like im the only one reaching out and caring and its nof reciporicated#BUT im not even giving people a chance or communicating that im just giving up cause i love self induced misery#GOING TO DO BETTER#going to do better going to do better people care about me and want to be my friend i need to be a better friend for them#🫡🫡🫡#delete later#bbycnt
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why aren't we drawing bato more... he is such a headsome guy.... like we should apriciate him more???
#bato#listen this post may be sceduled but i woke up to this thought the last nights around 2 am in the morning#and fell back asleep again#i know that i have an easy solution for this problem of mine here#but sometimes you don't want to bake a cake before you can eat it#you get me?#i may or may not have some batos....#-puts bato next to jee-#this better doesn'T awaken something in me...
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this is a fucking hilarious way of trying to describe where something is
"oh, yeah, it's situated between two major metropolises in southern michigan, supes easy to find, no biggie."
#i just woke up and i stared at this ad like ''bruh''#i didn't click on it for algo/tracking/google reasons but i don't even know what city they're talking about#my first thought was like. mackinac. which is only between detroit and gr if you do some funky trigonometry#oh my god. they mean lansing.#''situated between'' fuckaduck it's at least two hours from either city!#just say it's the capital!#anyway thanks for coming on this adventure with me#situated as i am this fine morning between snuggly blankets and a comfy bed#''situated between two major cities is a third major city'' shut up. it's the fucking capital.
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