#also my nose was sniffly the whole time and I thought nothing of it

[sun-e-chips]

Late night magma with @muzzlemouths!

^ dead mall dare au moon leaning on the movie projector in Waning Lights theater (probably just after he had to mess around and fix the worn thing).

Can you guess what movie is playing?

[river-r1t3s]

💕, 🌻, 🤞 for seventeen (any member but preferably Seungkwan or Hoshi) plssss!! Thank youuuu

I did little drabbles instead of full fics, hope that's okay <3

💕- sniffles

Seungkwan-

It started innocently enough, a small sniffle, barely noticeable over the chaos of dinner. Seungkwan himself thought nothing of it but Vernon, who sat next to Seungkwan noticed the sniffle. A moment later a second sniffle came, then a third. Not long after a fourth. Eventually Vernon was getting a bit confused, (maybe even a little annoyed) he nudged Seungkwan with his elbow. Seungkwan stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth, "what's up?"

"you keep sniffling" Vernon softly said, Seungkwan shrugged, "the spices are making me sniffly" he explained, Seungkwan sniffled again, "then blow your nose, you keep sniffling right by my ear, it's all I've heard the whole meal. Seungkwan apologized, he took a napkin from the center of the table and blew his nose. Right after his breath hitched, he ducked towards his elbow, "hktchU - tcCHU- kekTChHu"

"bless you Kwan" a few of the members said, Seungkwan thanked them and took another napkin to blow his nose, "are you okay?" Jeonghan asked, The other members had drawn their focus to Seugkwan, who was sniffling into a tissue, "the spices" he said with a nod towards the food, "ktchu- hehh- hKtchu"

"bless you"

"thank you" he said, he blew his nose. "you sure you're okay?"Jihoon asked, Seungkwan nodded, "I'll be fine. I'll just be a bit sneezy while I eat the spicy food." Seungkwan explained with an itchy sounding sniffle. Seungkwan went back to eating normally, despite him having to stop and sneeze every few seconds. Vernon had gotten just a bit fed up with him, but also knew that Seungkwan had put up with him and his flower allergies for years so he chose to just ignore it.

Hoshi-

"It's gonna snow tomorrow" Hoshi commented, seemingly out of nowhere. Chan, Jun, and Minghao all looked at him, "what?"

"it's gonna snow tomorrow" Sooyoung repeated, he sniffled, "how do you know that?" Jun asked, looking as if he didn't quite believe him, "because I get a snf stuffy nose when it's gonna snow"

"that's not a real thing" Chan said with an eye roll. He pulled out his phone, "even the weather says it's gonna be sunny tomorrow"

"it is!!" Hoshi said stubbornly, right after he sniffled. "I'm serious. why do you think I always get colds in winter"

"because you never wear a jacket" Minghao chimed in from his spot on the floor. Sooyoung rolled his eyes and kept stretching, he sniffled again. "I think you're doing that on purpose" Chan said, playfully rolling his eyes at the performance team leader . "Am not!!!" he sniffled again, which caused the other dancers to groan. "Guys!!!" they all started laughing at him

~the next day~

Chan was awoken the next morning by Jun and Minghao screaming and running into his room, "what the heck guys!!!!?"

"he was right!!!!" Jun yelled flopping down on Chan's bed. "who was right?" Chan asked, his brain still trying to wake up. Sooyoung" Minghao said, he walked over to the window and drew back the curtains, snow was falling outside. "how?" just then a harsh sneeze came from the other room, "maybe he does get colds when it snows" Chan said, he climbed out of bed and went to the team leader's room. Sooyoung was standing by his closet, a tissue up to his nose as he used his other hand to sift through his clothes. "aktchHu- hhatcchu"

"bless you" Sooyoung flinched at the voice, he blew his nose, then turned around. "I told you guys!!" he said with a wet sniffle. "sorry, but you know, it did sound kinda crazy"

"yeah, it's a bit strange. Took me a while to get used to it" he paused, "ATChu- atCHu- snf but every time it's gonna snow"

"Sooyoung makes a better weather man than the actual meteorologist." Jun said with a laugh. The maknae rolled his eyes, "how long has this happened for?"

"I think since I broke my nose back in 2019"

"you broke your nose?"

"y-hh-hea- atCHhu- atchHu- during filming one time"

"how come we didn't know?"

"no one did, except me, our manager and Scoups hyung, mainly because our manager made me tell him" Sooyoung explained, he sniffled and blew his nose again. "Sorry for not believing you hyung" Chan said sheepishly. The maknae shrugged, "I wouldn't believe me either"

🌻- taken by surprise

Seungkwan-

The vocal unit was gathered in the studio recording something for their newest album, things had gone smoothly all morning. That was until Seungkwan had started recording. The second he started singing he felt a strange tickle in his nose. He rubbed his nose and ignored it. He started singing again and the tickle came back. He put his hand up to stop the recording. Jihoon stopped and gave Seungkwan a confused look, when the youngest vocalist ducked towards his elbow and sneezed twice. "All good?" Jihoon asked, Seungkwan gave him a thumbs up. Seungkwan was able to film two lines before his nose started tickling again. He raised his hand again, signaling a stop. Jihoon gave him a confused look, but did pause the recording. "Everything alright Seungkwan?"

"kktchu- kktchshu-ttchshu- ugh sorry"

Jihoon signaled for them to stop completely. The staff did so, he went into the studio, "everything okay Kwan?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me! My nose itches."

"you sick?" Jeonghan asked looking a bit concerned. Seungkwan shrugged. "I felt fine all day, still do, just keep- kktch-tchu-hTchu sneezing"

"is it allergies?"

"I don't think I have allergies" Seungkwan said, he turned away and sneezed again. "You could have developed some, or come in contact with something new" Joshua said, he turned to the staff, "has this studio been cleaned recently" they nodded, "do you have the cleaning stuff that was used?" The staff nodded and left the room, "what's that for hyung?"

"well the room smells faitly of the cleaning stuff, I wonder if you're having a reaction to it."

"I hadn't even noticed the smell" Seokmin commented. The other members agreed. "It's really faint" Joshua said, "you just have a really strong sense of smell" Seungkwan said, "I can't smell it either, "it's possible that you can't but you're still reacting to it" Jihoon said with a shrug. Seungkwan shook his head, "I've literally never been allergic to anything"

"it could be something-"

"hh-ktchUH kktchu-"

"bless you, something new" Joshua explained, Jeonghan handed a few tissues to the youngest of the vocal team. He thanked him, his face flushed lightly in embarrassment.

The staff returned with a bottle of cleaner, "Kwan can you just smell this?" Seungkwan gave the bottle a look of distain, "just do it" Seokmin said nudging Seungkwan. He gave a dramatic sigh and took the bottle, "it's pointless anyways, I'm not allergic to any-" he caught a whiff of the scent and instantly pushed it back to Joshua, "HHKTchu- TchhhU- ketChu- hhektCHHu- EKTCHhuh"

"bless you" the others said, Jeonghan handed Seungkwan a few tissues, he took them enthusiastically and pressed them to his nose, he sneezed four times into the tissue and blew his nose. "Ugh"

"I think you might be allergic to that" Seokmin said, he patted Seungkwan's shoulder. "Can I go home and shower?" Seungkwan asked, looking absolutely miserable. "Of course, do you want someone to go with you?" Jeonghan asked, looking worried about Seungkwan, whose eyes were swollen and his nose bright red, "I'll text Vernon" Seokmin said, patting Seungkwan on the back. He said a congested thank you to Seokmin.

Vernon came a few minutes later to get his boyfriend and take him back to the dorm, "I'm surprised, it's usually you picking me up" Vernon said laughing a bit. "I know, I was really surprised" Seungkwan sneezed, "bless you"

"thanks, but I've never been allergic to anything before. It's so strange. It- kktchHu- ektchu- ttchu- awful. I hope that this is very much a one time thing."

Hoshi:

The performance team was choreographing something for their upcoming comeback. The whole morning had been absolute chaos. It had started thunder storming 15 minutes after the got there and the storm caused the power to go out, but the team (specifically Sooyoung) was determined to contiune working, despite it being nearly impossible. A rough demo that Jihoon had sent them played from Chan's phone speaker, barely even able to be heard over the storm outside, the lack of stable cell service also meant the audio was skipping and crackly.

But as if the storm outside wasn't enough, the members had started to notice how raspy Sooyoung's voice had gotten, but whenever it was brought up or mentioned Sooyoung was quick to explain it was from yelling over the thunder. The others let it go because it did make sense.

Halfway through one of their run throughs Sooyoung stopped dead in his tracks, the others looked at him in confusion. "Sooyoung is everyth-"

"HUTChu- ehtcHHu- aKkTchu"

"bless you" Sooyoung shook his head to clear the cloudy feeling and rubbed his nose, "sorry guys, let's get back in position" the others nodded and began moving when the leader of the unit stopped dead in his tracks and ducked his head towards his elbow "stchu- ktcCHu- hhestchu- hKtchu- ugh sorry"

"you okay hyung?" Chan asked, he looked concerned, Sooyoung nodded, "I'm fine."

"you sure? Dust bothering you?" Jun asked, knowing how sensitive Sooyoung was around dust. Sooyoung shook his head, "no, not allergies. I can say that for sure"

"you're sneezing a lot though"

"I don't get a sore throat with allergies"

"Do you have a sore throat?" Minghao asked looking surprised, "a bit yeah. Felt fine earlier"

"maybe you're getting sick."

"were you outside in the rain?" Chan asked, "you can't get sick from going in the rain Chan" Sooyoung said with a hint of exhasperation, "I know that, but if you went out in the rain and then came in the studio where it's cold, then maybe that could make you a bit sick"

"I don't know if it works like that" Sooyoung said before sneezing again. "Well whatever the cause is, it seems like you've got a cold so you should probably head back to the dorm and get some rest" Jun said as he starts gathering his stuff. "probably a good idea" Chan agreed and Minghao nodded, "I'm fine guys"

"you need rest, especially if you're getting sick. We don't want you to get worse with the comeback around the corner. And with how fast it came on I haven't ruled out the flu yet, so I'd rather be safe than sorry" Minghao said and handed Sooyoung's bag to Jun. "Ugh, fine" Chan smiled and put his arm around the leader's shoulders, "not like we were really getting much done anyways" Sooyoung started to protest but ultimately followed the maknae out of the studio. Once back in the dorms he was pushed to the shower and quickly sent to bed after.

🤞- stifles

Seungkwan:

There was a tense air in the van on the way to schedules. Seungkwan had been caught faking being sick to get out of going to schedules all of the previous few days. So the members had all gotten quite angry, but Seungkwan was nervous as this morning when he woke up he had a stuffy nose and a headache. Which he assumed was karma for him faking. But he also knew his members wouldn't believe him and would likely just get mad. Halfway to the studio his nose began tickling, he discreetly tried rubbing at it, trying to keep the sneeze from coming out. But eventually the tickle got really bad and he knew he was going to sneeze he pinched his nose and stifled a sneeze trying not to move much, or any. Mingyu, who was seated next to him, felt Seugkwan move a bit but didn't say anything, too irritated to really care what the youngest vocalist was doing. But when it happened three more times within the next 4 minutes he was starting to get annoyed, he looked at Seungkwan and saw his eyes were wet with what looked like tears. "Kwan are you seriously crying?" Mingyu felt irritated, thinking Seungkwan was upset he had to work. When in reality Seungkwan was fighting his tears as the stifles had caused his minor headache to turn quite painful. "no hyung, just got some dust in my eye" Seungkwan said softly, his throat had begun hurting from the sneezes. Mingyu wanted to believe him, but also felt a bit concerned when he noticed there was a congested note in Seungkwan's voice.

Once the group arrived at the studio Mingyu pulled the leader aside, "I think something is wrong with Seungkwan, he seemed upset in the car and his voice sounded off" Seungcheol shrugged, "maybe, but what if he's just faking again"

"right" Mingyu said, but deep down he really didn't think that Seungkwan was faking anything. The group went to a room to begin filming and Mingyu almost tripped when Seungkwan suddenly stopped right in front of him, "Kwan you good"

"hngphm- nngtchh- hnmphch" Mingyu wasn't sure what was wrong with Seungkwan but whatever it was, it sounded painful. "Kwan you okay?" he asked again, Seungkwan smiled, "yeah, all good" Mingyu noticed that Seungkwan's voice sounded very strange. Mingyu also noticed how pale Seungkwan was. "Kwan are you sick?"

"NO!!!" He said, he coughed after, "Shit Kwan. If you're actually sick you need to rest"

"No, they won't believe mbe- 'sall my fault" Mingyu was worried, "Seugkwan, I can tell them you're actually sick" He felt worried seeing the usually playful member almost crying just from a simple conversation. Seungkwan suddenly turned away from Mingyu very quickly and clamped his hands roughly around his face, "HNGtch-hhnptch- NGTChh-" Seungkwan wimpered softly, "Kwan if it hurts don't do that"

"don't want to bother" he coughed, Mingyu cringed at how painful it sounded, "Seungkwan, I know you made a mistake but if you're sick you can't be at work." He put his arm around Seungkwan's shoulder and walked with him to the rest of the members. Kwan let out a small whimper.

"Guys, Seungkwan isn't feeling very well--"

"Mingyu we just went over this he's fine" the leader interrupted looking irritated. Seungkwan sniffled and a few tears fell, he quickly wiped them away, brushing his sensitive nose in the process and triggering three sneezes, which he stifled into near silence, which caused him to audibly whimper. "Seungkwan, stop." Vernon, who was usually very soft for his youngest hyung, said. Absolutely no hint of softness now. This seemed to be too much for Seungkwan and he shrugged Mingyu's shoulder off and ran out of the studio crying. This caused the whole group to freeze in shock. "Told you guys" Mingyu said. "He's been stifling his sneezes all morning and it's very clearly hurting him. He almost started crying from it in the car" The members all looked guilty, especially Vernon and Seungcheol, who were both nervously twisting their hands. "I'll go get him" Vernon said, he quickly left the room. He found Seungkwan crying in a corner by a vending machine. "Oh Seungkwan, I'm sorry" Vernon said sitting next to him. "I'm sorry!" Seungkwan sobbed, Vernon felt his heart break for the vocalist. Vernon put his arms around Seungkwan. "It's okay Kwan. We should have believed you." Vernon noticed a warmth coming off of Seungkwan, "you have a fever Boo"

"oh" Vernon helped Seungkwan stand and go to the studio where the others were. As soon as they saw Seungkwan they all started apologizing. Which made Seungkwan cry again and he started explaining how he shouldn't have lied and how sorry he was. His words were woven in between sobs. The members helped Seungkwan back to the van where he was taken back home. Seungcheol and Vernon were obviously still feeling pretty guilty and stayed back with him, along with Mingyu, who Seungkwan, in his feverish mind seemed to find comfort in.

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 10: Rain, Worries

As always, I feel like the end of this week is really chewing me up and spitting me out. It's disappointing and frustrating that I haven't done any writing since Monday and I'm getting a little worried, not so much about having enough writing time coming up, but about having enough time to write AND do other things and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with other things.

I got caught in a rainstorm after work (literally, ugh--the forecast said 'scattered thunderstorms' which usually means nothing... I left early to walk out to the Wawa and get some stuff--ended up outside in the 15 or so worst minutes of the storm, rain coming in under my umbrella, through my umbrella, just totally soaked from the waist down, and I didn't want to deal with Wawa in that but I had this extra time which just meant waiting longer in the rain) and that sort of took any ambition out of me. I barely remember getting home. I'd had an early lunch so I was super hungry, so I had a snack and watched some TV. Then I thought I'd 'rest my eyes' for a little, and fell asleep for a couple of hours I think.

When I woke up I was just concerned about eating something but I've been so terrible at anything related to my kitchen this week... cooking, washing dishes, cleaning. It's just a mess. I don't really have a lot left that's, like, simple to make. So I kind of had to scrounge up a put together dinner. I was also really thirsty and really desirous of like... smooth, cool things. I'm still not really sure I ate the right amount or the right stuff.

Also my nose is a little sniffly, which worries me. I just feel blah. But it's probably just a Thursday thing.

I made a list of stuff to do at work tomorrow before I left for the day and I'm hoping it's the right number of tasks to get me through the day without too much trouble. I have to, have to, HAVE TO spend some time cleaning the kitchen in the evening, at least doing dishes. But I also hope to do some writing and then go to sleep early. I have a pretty good sense of this next scene, since I've been rolling it around in my head all week. I'd like to just... have enough energy to just get it down. And if I do that tomorrow it'll make my goal (the section finished by the end of the weekend) that much more reasonable. Last weekend's writing went well enough that I feel like maybe it IS possible to get this whole monster written by the final deadline and this idea is really driving me even though it's far from a sure thing. But like, I don't write full time lol. And the time that my real job eats up is just the start because not every weekend can be one where I ignore all responsibilities in favor of resting and writing, like last weekend was. I just.... I gotta balance everything and I'm so bad at that.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ALEXIS MY ANGEL call me yan!gojo bc i would do ANYTHING for u ………

ALEXIS I LOVE YOUUUUU YOU’RE SO SWEET 😥😥😥😥😞😞😞😞😞 cried reading this UR APPROVAL MEANS SM i’m always chasing it to be clear but since this is ur concept i wanted to do it justice so bad 👉👈 I LOVED WRITING IT BUT I WAS NERVOUS PSHJDDJ so ur words mean the world to me!!! T_T are ur studies going well btw… are any profs giving u trouble……. asking for no particular reason………

have i ever told u that ur descriptions are beautiful. have i. i'm sure i have but i'll say it again. ur writing just makes me feel things i 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

now what if i kissed u silly 🤨🤨 ALEXIS I MELTED INTO A PUDDLE don’t do this to me ……. sniffle. u are so kind. thank u 😥😥😥😥 every time i read ur writing i am consumed by a primal need to eat it all in one bite so i can carry it w me wherever i go so i just feel so warm knowing u like mine too T_T we are holding hands in my brain always

I LOVE how u explain his thought process. the inklings of a yandere. a man that is willing to bend his morals and skirt the law because he just wants u to be happy. mwah. mwah mwah mwah. i love yan!gojo with my whole heart

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW OVERJOYED I AM THAT THIS YAN!GOJO GETS YOUR APPROVAL that’s all i want!!!!!!!! i am in fact kicking my feet and giggling happily AND I’M SO GLAD U LIKED THE GOJO CHARACTERIZATION IN GENERAL i wanted to make him extra sickly sweet in this to get that yan contrast yk ….. he is soooo willing to bend his morals bc u are the Light of his life the center of it all!!!!!! he’s so smitten it’s crazy

not talking abt gojo but acc fuck this guy i'd be so pissed off 😭ALSO??? TEACHER!GOJO BYEEE i love canon teacher gojo ofc but making him good with kids and making him good with TODDLERS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING... i just know he loves his students... i just know they cling onto his legs... i just know he yells at them when they go too high on the 5-foot rock wall bc he's a tiger parent around them... i just know he plays tag with them and pretends to get tired when he runs so they can tag him... i just know...

ALEXIS STOP STOP IT RN WHATTT ARE U DOING TO ME ,……… HE’S A TIGER PARENT HE’S A PAPA BEAR 😔😔😔😔 YOU’RE SOOOO RIGHT HE’S SO PROTECTIVE SO SWEET SO PLAYFUL ….. he sees all of them as his own kids LMAO i think he would be jealous of their parents . like wdym he can’t adopt them all… wdymmm they aren’t his….. he literally carried every single one of them for nine months </3 he would cry when they graduate i just KNOW it he’s so so sniffly and sad :(((( baby boy

get that professor OUTTA there and put me in his place tf 😭😭 why does such a horrible person get to be so up close nd personal with him ion get it 🙄🙄🙄0/10 fic if u really loved me it would've been me in his place /j

NOT THE JEALOUSY???????? 😭😭😭😭😭 okay ill keep that in mind for the knight!sugu fic pls know that any character that touches suguru is inspired by you and only you 🙏🙏🙏 all roads lead to alexis etc etc

IM GONNA HURLLL there's something so vulnerable about yan!gojo who knows what he's doing is wrong but it's all for the person he loves so it doesn't matter.. it's so tragic :( thank god this isn't an actual story bc it would not end well for him

THIS….. he’s soooo self aware maybe a lil plagued by guilt…. one line i considered putting in was (there’s nothing wrong with me. there’s nothing wrong with this.) from gojo’s pov but i figured that might be a bit too on the nose 😭😭 in my brain there’s this gap? that yan!gojo has… where he wants to protect u but also wants to be someone who deserves u. a good person. so he overcompensates for the yan tendencies in every single other area he can ….. yan!gojo core is killing a guy and then getting ur fave take out on his way back to make up for the blood on his hands <33

idk if this is intentional, but i love ur use of nicknames in this. all the classic "baby" and "honey" ones are used normally, but "angel" is only used once (other than the title!).. bc bc. guardian angels are supposed lead humans to salvation but if anything, reader unintentionally corrupted him past the point of no return, but in his eyes, the reader is an angel that he serves (an angel whose commands he follows, an angel who only represents good and light, so obviously what he's doing is justified)🙏i love it 🙏i also think it's the only nickname where he uses "my" in front of it and that just adds a whole other layer i just. wow.

ALEXIS??? U LITTLE GENIUS????? the angel motif was planned but i didn’t even realize i only made that petname possessive in tone… it’s canon now though ‼️ DISREGARD MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT ‼️ this was planned all along <333 BUT GRRRRR ALEXIS u are always so thoughtful and attentive it blows my mind!!! the angel motif ended up becoming such a central part of this fic pdhjdjd BUT U GET IT OFC U DO…. reader unintentionally corrupting him…. gojo viewing you as something almost other-worldly in how important u are… it’s like. you’re his guardian angel and he’s yours right back but in both cases it ends up twisted 😵‍💫😵‍💫

ok first of all these sentences are so beautifully written but i also love how he thinks about loving you. it's honestly 😭im kinda getting denji/makima vibes if denji/makima was a decent ship and makima was a good person yk 😭 AND I MEAN THAT WITH THE BEST OF COMPLIMENTS.. like the way the reader just controls him without even knowing, the way he would do anything (and literally everything) for the reader, etc. etc. reader's got the boy wrapped around their finger and they don't even realize i love it

SNIFFLE ALEXIS I AM HUGGING U GENTLY </3 im so glad u liked those lines they r the bread and butter of this fic tbh … BUT ALSO DENJI/MAKIMA????? ALEXIS????? I’M LOSING IT GRRRR HOW DID U KNOW I’M ILL ABT THEIR DYNAMIC…. 😞😞 no bc i can’t believe i didn’t think abt that… literally my fave example of the angel/dog dynamic….. it’s so perfect bc denji (my perfect little angel boy <33333 i kin him) isn’t malicious he’s just full of trauma and a yearning for love that he can’t satiate in a normal way :(( so he just clings to this goddess figure in his life… devoting everything to her….. it’s sooo yan!gojocore like truly you can do no wrong in his eyes. ”if my girl is wrong i will simply reshape reality so that she’s right” bf

all the orpheus/eurydice, heaven on earth, angel, the title imagery makes me want to gnaw on this fic until im left with the bones. like the reader isn't even human to him anymore. if anything, instead of guiding him to salvation, they are his salvation and i just mmm. mmmmmm. i need him

U GET IT U GET IT U GET IT U GET ITTTTTT reader is his salvation!!!!! so true!!!!!! you are all that is good!!!!!! and he’d do anything to keep ur light from dwindling out :(((( he makes me feel a little ill i’ll be honest THIS IS ALL UR FAULT ALEXIS my thoughts r filled with this silly little beast </3

ARIII IM GONNA CHOKE 😭what did reader do to him to make him this delusional i wonder.. it doesn't even matter bc this is so well written. the way he thinks he's protecting the reader, and in a small sense he is, but he keeps it a secret bc he not only KNOWS its wrong, but he also knows that the reader would be horrified/disgusted if they ever found out. and he's not as delusional to think that his actions will never come back to him either, but for reader, he'd do anything i just... i just....

alexis have i mentioned that i would do literally anything for u……. u just Get it so effortlessly i’m so happy this could get even a sliver of ur approval i am feasting on all ur words HE’S SO….. he’s soooo Sane he just doesn’t really care abt the consequences…. he’s a spider masquerading as a butterfly thinking he can trap all flies that touch you in his web but one day one of you will be tangled up in it and that’s just so :((( yan!gojo is so Doomed. he wants to be a good man so bad but he wants you to be happy even more. sniffle.

IM KISSING UR FOREHEAD AGGRESSIVELY + SPINNING U AROUND !!!!!!!! this made my whole year alexis u are so sweet to read this and to write this out it means sm to meeeee T~T AND TYSM FOR BRINGING YAN!GOJO INTO MY LIFE he made it worse <3333 i love him though. our deranged little bug boy. I LOVE U ALWAYS if u need me to threaten any prof at any given moment hmu <33

you’re an angel, i’m a dog ; satoru gojo

synopsis; an upcoming exam has been stressing you out, and satoru’s pleas for you to take care of yourself fall on deaf ears. he takes matters into his own hands.

word count; 4.3k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, yan!gojo, as far as yanderes go he’s very mild i think (im sensitive u can trust me!!), mentions of blood, implied murder (not depicted!!), he threatens your professor w a knife lol, surprisingly fluffy??, gojo is soooo lovesick & smitten, he just wants his baby to live a happy life :( is that so wrong :((, also your parents love him <33 and he calls you honey <333 ideal man.

a/n; i blacked out & when i woke up this was in my drafts… mysterious. @kissxcore here u go alexis <33 one very smitten morally gray yan!gojo just for u!! i completely lost the plot halfway through but i had a lot of fun writing this!! :33 i don’t dabble in yan content at all so it was a fun lil challenge hehe, i hope it ended up . Somewhat .. decent…

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

”haah…”

— the sigh spills into the air, dripping with exhaustion, a palpable fatigue that has his heart clenching.

just as he feared, you’re here. again. seated on the couch, in the living room, legs crossed and framed by flimsy strings of moonlight; illuminated only by the dim light of the laptop in front of you. carding through your hair, blinking sluggishly.

another sigh. deep, exasperated — from satoru, this time. he keeps a single hand on his hip, brows furrowed in soft disappointment. 

”honey… what do you think you’re doing?”

you jolt, the sudden sound breaking you out of whatever trance you were previously in. when your gaze flits to his, craning your head to see him rest against the wall leading up to your bedroom, he thinks you look a little like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

it makes him smile. despite his disapproval.

”ah — satoru! it’s… um.” a moment passes. he can practically see the gears of your mind turning, searching for a good excuse. ”… not what it looks like?”

he clicks his tongue. ”nice try.”

then he’s walking towards you, in long strides, gliding across the room like a butterfly in search of nectar. from the sweetest flower there ever was.

even when said flower is still awake, past midnight, pulling an all-nighter despite his frequent advice not to. his very frequent, very thoughtful advice not to strain yourself until you just about pass out.

but you just won’t listen.

”’m disappointed in you, baby,” he huffs, just playful enough to ward off any genuine feelings of distress. he could never truly be disappointed in his baby. ”what did we say about studying this late, hm?”

a sheepish chuckle slips past your lips. satoru is standing in front of you, hands on his hips, raising a questioning eyebrow as you squirm. lighthearted, yes, but genuine. it makes you feel a little guilty.

”… sorry,” you breathe, closing the lid of your laptop. knowing he won’t let you stay up any longer. with the loss of light, your face becomes shrouded in darkness. ”just can’t sleep when i’m so stressed.”

at that, satoru makes a tiny noise — something worried, a little sad, from the base of his throat. a soft frown finds its way onto his lips, and he blinks the sleep away from his senses. plopping down beside you.

”i know. i’m not trying to lecture you,” he croons, reaching out to cradle the apple of your cheek. you melt into him like molten honey, easy and sweet. ”just worried. know you’re stressed.”

and he does. he does know — it’s all he’s been able to think about, these past few weeks. to his dismay, he’s even begun to grow used to this sight, used to findist you in the midst of working yourself to exhaustion. fighting the urge to sleep, slumped over your desk, or cooped up on the couch. staring into your laptop like it holds the secrets of the universe.

time and time again, he’s told you to take care of yourself. tried to coax you into relaxing, rubbing your sore shoulders and kissing the puffy skin beneath your eyes. but this exam is important — you’ve told him as much, more times than he can count. he doesn’t doubt that you’re right. 

of course you’d be stressed. he gets it.

still, though.

”but you know it’s not good, yeah? that it’ll just burn you out?” his thumb goes to smooth over the dark crescents beneath your eyes, gentle as a feather. ”we don’t want that, do we?”

you bite your lip. trapping it between your teeth. he knows you know. ”… yeah,” you admit, a flimsy little sigh on your tongue. ”it just feels easier to do this at night. don’t know why.”

”my little night owl.”

that makes you smile, a little, but it’s not enough to satisfy him. he curls an arm around your waist, and drags you into his lap; gentle, always gentle, like all that exists under your skin is made of porcelain. like the lines of your face form a string of words, a label of fragile: handle with care. he always does.

with his heartbeat by your ear, his warmth melting into yours, it’s easier to speak. a pressure on your chest that fades away. ”i’ll try not to do it again,” you murmur, biting back a soft yawn. nuzzling into his neck. ”promise. don’t wanna worry you…”

satoru softens. 

(always so good to him.)

”it’s fine, honey. i understand.” he smiles, smoothing down your spine, counting the bumps of vertebra that slide along his palm. ”don’t worry that pretty little head of yours over me, alright?”

in return for his comfort, you wriggle away, lifting your head to give him a smile. one of your many smiles, each one fervently cherished by him; the one you’re wearing now is tired, a soft curl of your lips, the kind that makes him want to lull you to sleep. just the sight alone makes the anxiety in his veins feel like a worthy investment.

he doesn’t tell you anything that could cause that joy to diminish. doesn’t tell you that he can’t sleep without you, that he can barely breathe knowing you’re this stressed all time. doesn’t tell you that he jolted awake with a sinking feeling of dread, a gaping pit in his stomach when he didn’t immediately feel the warmth of your skin against his. doesn’t tell you that he always, always assumes the worst.

satoru doesn’t tell you these things. it’s a safety measure, an act of love. a bundle of unvoiced syllables, woven into white lies, silky and sweet. tailor-made to put your aching mind at ease. 

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

it’s a theory, of sorts, a train of thought. a hypothesis made manifest. after many years of pondering, he’s arrived at the following conclusion; you are all that’s good. therefore, it only follows that you deserve everything that’s good, all of it and more. satoru believes you deserve every single thing your little heart desires — and he’s determined to give it to you.

so he’s been worried.

it’s not that he doesn’t trust you. he knows you’ll ace the exam, knows you’ll do your very best, knows you’ll make him proud. you always do. you aren’t the problem, no, never.

he just doesn’t trust your professor. 

that unfair, stuck-up, incompetent professor who’d fail his students just for being a couple minutes late, who curates his exams to be as convoluted as humanly possible. you and your friends are starting to suspect he just likes berating people for a living. satoru knows it all, he’s heard it all, of course he has. satoru pays attention to everything, when it comes to you. he knows all about your professor, the man who’s been making your studies pure hell for the past semester.

it makes his blood boil. steady, ruminating, hot and heavy in his veins. a rivulet of lava.

(it was only a matter of time.)

satoru is a teacher too; he knows that type. one that has no business being a teacher, in the first place, one no student deserves to be subjected to. he’s met more of them in his career than he could even begin to count. the thought of one of his own students being at the mercy of someone so incompetent makes his skin itch.

and the thought of you, seated on the couch, crying and sniffling when he comes home because none of the exam questions made enough sense for you to even try —

it makes satoru want to claw his skin off.

it makes that tiny, tiny cavern in his heart extend, widen, like a maw, swallowing up his liver and lungs and sense of morality. an emptiness begging to be filled. 

there’s only one way to satiate it.

so he plants a wet kiss on your forehead, ruffles your hair, tucks you into bed and waits until you fall asleep. deep and heavy, a slumber you won’t wake up from anytime soon. he presses his lips to your forehead one more time — for good measure.

then he grabs his coat and slips outside.

the moon is visible through the window.

a thin crescent, nailed next to the dim stars, leaking a dream-like fluorescent shine; illuminating the office, so quiet he can hear those erratic breaths spill out, one by one. a heavy, heavy silence, thick enough to spread like butter over toast. 

(ah, that’s right — he forgot to buy the butter you asked for this morning. no wonder he feels so out of sorts. he’ll have to grab it on his way back.)

”who… w — what are — ?”

satoru stays silent. lips pursed, eyes keen, burning into the back of the man in front of him. close, almost chest to back, enough to have him scowling in displeasure. 

just being in his presence makes satoru feel a little sick. 

he keeps the blade pressed right beneath his adam’s apple, a silver glimmer in an office painted blue and gray. not enough to sink into his skin, but enough to have his heartbeat hammering, enough that satoru can practically feel those rapid flutters of life. brushing against his gloved hand.

he gets straight to the point. voice muffled by the fabric covering his mouth, low enough that it’s barely even audible. he’s careful, about this kind of thing. there’s a delicacy to the ill intent, something he’d be a little enamored with if it weren’t for the compass stuffed into his ribs — the compass that tells him this is wrong.

he just can’t bring himself to care.

”the upcoming exam.” his voice sends a shiver down the man’s spine. satoru can feel it. ”don’t fail a single student.”

silence. pure silence, suffocating them, tangling itself into the air. satoru can practically taste it — fear, familiar, that pang of panic. a ticking time-bomb. the knife stays pressed against warm skin, pushing, sinking, just a little, a drop of red against his pale throat. 

it’s enough to get your professor to make a little noise, one that vaguely resembles a whine. like that of a small animal, rolling over on its belly, eager to play dead. no word is spoken in reply, but he nods, just barely, a nervous tremble of his head.

satoru hums, approving. ”good.” he doesn’t loosen his grip. ”there’s a particular student i’m worried about. marked them down in the catalogue... i’m counting on you.”

another noise. a grunt of affirmation, a silent plea — satoru allows that fear to seep into his own bones, just a little, just to get a taste of it. cold on his tongue. he wonders if this is what helplessness feels like.

then he takes a step back. slow, tentative, dragging the knife with him. not before parting his lips once more. ”don’t turn around,” he warns. ”i’ll be back if there are any complications. this’ll be our little secret, hm?”

the man in front of him doesn’t say a thing. frozen in fear, paralyzed, not moving an inch. a fly trapped in his web. it’s a relief.

before he exits the room, satoru puts the final nail in the coffin. just in case. ”i happen to know what school your daughter goes to.” he waits for a flinch, and it comes almost instantly. like clockwork. “remember that.”

it’s an empty threat. your professor doesn’t know that, though. he doesn’t know that satoru knows his daughter, that he walks past her preschool almost every morning on his way to work. that she waves to him whenever he passes by, and that he makes it a point to always wave back. a little troublemaker; the rowdiest of utahime’s preschoolers. she has a bubbly laugh, and just lost one of her milk teeth. she was giddy when she showed him, a bout of giggles spilling from her lips as he cooed and ruffled her hair. 

he wouldn’t lay a finger on her. 

but your professor doesn’t know that, hasn’t got a single clue, and satoru delights in the fear that must be running through his veins. down his spine, crawling into every narrow of his skeleton, making a home for itself that he’ll never quite be able to root out.

a gulp. satoru hears it, in the quiet of nightfall, just before he shuts the door behind him. good.

the rest of the evening is a blur. satoru gets home, relieved to find you still asleep, and tucks you into his chest. makes a mental reminder to order your favorite take out tomorrow; a little reward for your hard work.

finally, he can sleep easy. knowing you’ll get what you deserve. 

three weeks later, satoru places his hand on the familiar doorknob in front of him, dragging his weight behind him. blinking sluggishly. 

there’s a sinking feeling in his chest, weighing him down — like an anchor tied to his liver. a compass, tucked between his fourth and fifth rib, one that’ll always stay lodged right there. he’s learned to grow used to it, a natural consequence, a sign that his humanity is still intact. 

that doesn’t make it any less bothersome, though.

(ridding the world of a pest shouldn’t make him feel dirty. especially when he felt nothing but contempt for the pest in question, for the way he whistled as you walked by, the words he spewed before satoru met his eye. vile. putrid. why should he feel guilty for wiping a stain off the pavement?

it does make him feel dirty, though. a sinking feeling in his chest.)

there’s nothing to be done about it. satoru swallows the unpleasant taste on his tongue, and drags the door open, closing it behind him with a softness he reserves for you alone.

and there you are.

on the couch, farther away, already looking his way — lips instantly curling up into what he knows will be a smile. this time, it’s laced with excitement. one of his personal favorites. his gaze devours the joy in your features, the glimpse he gets of your teeth, that familiar crinkle of your eyes. 

you’re smiling. at him. you smile and his world wakes up, it’s dyed in different shades of blue, it’s brimming with life and love and something too good not to kill for. you smile and everything is right, good, worth it. you smile and it's as if the blood has been washed off his hands.

suddenly, all is well again. satoru exhales a blissful little breath.

“‘m home, honey,” he grins, a light pink dusting his cheeks, hanging his coat up before turning to face you. arms wide open. “did you miss me?”

his heartbeat stutters when you practically engulf him, all giddy giggles and that perfect smile, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. “mhm,” is what you chirp, pressing kisses down his collarbone, and he has to bite down on his lip to stop the shivers trailing down his spine. he tastes iron, but laps it up with a coo. sickly-sweet.

“missed you too, precious,” he purrs. “sorry i was gone for so long — had to take care of something.” 

he cups the back of your skull with his palm, large and crafted just to hold you, and marvels at how much you trust him. how you’re melting into his chest, fitting into every crevice of his heart. he wants to keep you there forever. forever and ever, always within reach, always close enough to touch. 

but he also wants you to be happy. he wants to see you run away, wherever the wind takes you, if only so he’ll get to feel you jump into his arms again, when you’ve had your fill of the world. when you come home to him, where you both belong.

satoru would never cage you in. never, never, never. he wants you to enjoy your life — confining you wouldn’t do any good, would only stifle that pretty smile he loves so dearly. he wants your world to be large, brimming with life, blooming with fervor, wants the air to be clear enough for your beautiful lungs. he couldn’t build a world for you, here, in this apartment. no matter how big or luxurious. 

so his only option is to bend the world into a kinder shape — twist and mold until it forms a path good enough for you to follow.

(it’s worth it, he knows, he’ll always know. it’s worth it to see that smile.)

“is that a new coat?” you ask, naive and innocent, and it breaks him out of his thoughts, attention wired to the lilt of your voice.

“yeah.” it’s stylish, expensive, a nice shade of black. he had to throw the last one away. this one’ll hide the stains better. “looks nice, right? i’ll get you the same one, pretty.”

“you don’t have to, toru!” you hurriedly exclaim, knowing he’ll jump at the opportunity to spoil you. “i like the one i have now!”

satoru pouts. a soft huff, right by your ear. “you don’t wanna wear matching coats?” he feigns sadness, scratching softly at your scalp, drinking up the little purrs that bubble up in your throat. 

and you giggle. you giggle and all he can think is worth it, worth it, worth it. a stained coat or two means nothing. the blood on his hands is just insurance. 

“well, when you put it like that…” you shift a little, curling your arms around his neck, breathing him in. he wonders if you can smell the cleaning detergent. “i guess i wouldn’t mind a new coat.”

and he grins. like clockwork. “right? want me to buy you new shoes while i’m at it? some jewelry?” he peppers kisses down your neck, amusement laced in his voice. “the whole store?”

again, those giggles. again and again. he laps them up like fine wine. “okay, that’s too much.”

“but you deserve it!” he whines, sickeningly sweet. sick to his stomach with love. “been working so hard, my angel.”

and, suddenly — you light up. his little firefly. brightening, inhaling a giddy breath. pulling away, a little, and he does his best to bite back the frown on his face. you’re practically beaming, sunshine personified, eyes glittering with giddy joy.

“right! i almost forgot!” 

then you’re skipping away, happily, to retrieve your phone. and he knows what you’re going to show him, but still feigns surprise when he sees the score on your exam, that perfect 100 on the screen. still makes an expression of shock that he knows will get you to laugh, still picks you up and spins you around and tells you how proud he is.

he almost, almost feels bad, seeing you smile so wide; at what you assume to be the fruits of your own labour. almost feels ashamed, knowing that perfect 100 wouldn’t exist without the knife at your professor’s throat.

but, then again, this is how it should be. those numbers are the fruits of your own labour, because satoru is a part of you. and you deserve it, deserve it more than anyone — he knows you would have gotten it, even without his help, if your professor was competent enough to see your brilliance. 

satoru smiles. he is proud of you. and this is exactly how it should be. he’s just bending the world into its rightful shape, cutting strings from a wrongly woven web, righting the wrongs of the people around you.

you, you, you. the only thing that exists.

all of him is for you.

”i knew you could do it. never doubted you for a second, baby,” he smiles, so wide his cheeks hurt, and you return it with a kiss to his jaw. 

”thank you. i’m just so relieved,” you exhale a breath, heavy, and it’s like he can practically see the stress melting, slipping from your shoulders and eyes. worth it, worth it, worth it. ”gosh. i’m gonna sleep like the dead tonight.”

”as you should,” satoru chirps, pinching your side. softly, brimming with fondness. ”but before that, we’re gonna celebrate. all day. and tomorrow too!”

another smile coaxed from your lips; this time, it’s a little bit shy. bashful, at the praise, his endless excitement. so precious he wants to kiss you breathless. give you all the air in his lungs.

so precious that he forgets about everything else. 

this is what you always do to him; wrap him up in a blanket of your love, cloud his veins with a nectar so sweet he takes the leap into your arms without a second thought. a foolish, lovesick butterfly, sticking to a single rose; dripping with honey, overflowing. the butterfly is too drunk on love to care. 

you’re his flower, his joy, the most useful form of anesthesia. with you in his veins, on his mind, your lips on his jaw — satoru can pretend that his hands are clean. that they always have been.

it all slips from his mind. your professor, the creep who catcalled you, that one classmate you’ve been complaining about recently. he forgets that they even exists, and satoru thinks that must be what love is: something that narrows your world down until you can make a home out of it. 

(something worth cherishing, no matter the cost.)

as always, it’s your voice that snaps him out of the trance he’s in. turning around at the sound of your call, the orpheus to your eurydice, too in love to save you from himself. you’re both getting ready to head out, dressing up for a well-deserved date. 

satoru feels himself smile. he does the dirty work, and you get to reap the rewards. heaven on earth.

“oh, by the way! would you want to have dinner with my parents tomorrow?” you meet his absent gaze with a tilt of your head. “they’ve been asking about you again. it’s such a headache, seriously.”

satoru giggles, barely containing how delighted he is. raising a playful brow. “oh? grumpy that you aren’t the favorite child anymore, hm?”

“okay, first of all —“ you stifle a giggle, pulling a drawer open, rummaging through it. freshly washed clothes. he washes most of your things. “you aren’t their child. and second of all —“

“— yet.”

a pause. 

satoru watches your gaze flick over to him, then back to the drawer, collecting yourself. a cute flush to your cheeks. “… whatever.” you clear your throat. “second of all — i don’t like how much they like you. what kinda spell did you put them under? it’s always satoru this, satoru that!”

a huff fills the air, and you mutter something that sounds a little like mocking, an obnoxiously imitated where’s satoru? that makes him chuckle into his fist. 

he shrugs. “i’m just a natural charmer, y’know? and, for the record; i would love to have dinner with them.” he sends you a wink, playful, and you roll your eyes. “are you joining us?”

a bout of laughter pushes past your lips, and satoru thinks he could die happy — just soaking up the joy that spills from out your throat. he wishes he could live in it, paint your house in it, wear it. he wants your joy to be all he ever feels. he feels sick at the idea of ever being out of earshot for it.

“yes, i’m joining you.” your scoff is dripping with humour. ”i’d hate to be the fourth wheel, but it is what it is.”

satoru stifles a grin. ”lucky me. three beauties all to myself,” he drawls, a seductive lilt to his voice, just to hear that little noise you always make with the back of your throat. vaguely disgusted.

”you’re so gross.”

a coo. like the buzzing of a bee. ”don’t be jealous, honey. know you’re my favorite, don’t you?” satoru smiles — more sincere than you’ll ever know. ”could never love anyone else.”

”so my parents are in second place?” you quirk a brow, amusement lacing your words, and he clicks his tongue. 

”well, they made you. i’d have to be a fool not to worship artists of such caliber.” 

”charmer.”

”yours.” the word is a knife at his throat, a stain on his coat, a love so heavy it’ll burn him alive. ”only yours.”

and again, you smile. all he can think is that you deserve everything, everything that’s good, everything he could ever give you. it’s all he can think as you go about your day, as he leads you outside, as he watches a flicker of joy dance within your iris. as he watches you walk wherever your heart takes you.

the thought remains when you return home, when you wrap yourselves in blankets and he throws a leg over your waist and you curl an arm around his ribcage. it’s all he can think. 

satoru was born to be of service — to someone, to the world, to something or another. he was born to carry a weight on his back. 

so why not bear the weight of your burdens?

all he wants is to protect you. all he’ll ever need is that smile on your face. he was always bound to be just this: a dog at your heels, a halo around your head, the watchful eye keeping you safe from everything rotten in this world. he’s the butterfly, the spider, the web itself. he’ll never let you be tangled up in it.

he was born to be of service to you. so service you he will, until it all comes back to bite him.

“satoruuu — stop stealing the blanket!”

he prays it never will.

[thedevillionaire]

It’s No Secret

Little domestic moment with my darlings, no plot other than a mildly irregular day in the Demonics Office. --- Kia knocks, opens the door and enters the Demonics Office in a fluid, nonchalant motion like there’s no risk involved in such an act whatsoever.

“Hey, hon, you busy?”

Cerberus, with a sharp sniffle, vaporises the latest clutch of used tissues he’s holding and glances up from his seat at the desk as his bonded, unannounced and unexpected, flashes him a vibrant smile as she moves to meet him, bestowing a quick kiss and no time to reply.

“No, okay, great, because…”

She mumbles a rhetorical “Can I just shift… I’m just gonna…” as she moves a few papers aside, puts the small hamper she’s carrying down in their place, and looks Cerberus over in quick assessment. He’d been headachy, distracted and sniffly morning-long. Early afternoon now, and the light hint of pink to his nostrils, the tiredness muting the intensity of his gaze, the remnant scent of smoke from recurrent tissue immolations combine to suggest that nothing much has changed. He presses the back of his hand against his nose with more than a little force, and sniffles again.

“Okay, first, this is honey and ginger tea.” Kia holds up a thermos, points to it. “It should still be pretty warm but you’ll probably want to reheat it anyway. Figured that wouldn’t be a problem, though.” She smiles and winks playfully.

“Anyway—” She pushes some more desk accoutrements aside, ignores the fleeting mildly pained expression this action brings from Cerberus, and sits on the desk to face him. “—you know that whole ‘the secret ingredient is love’ thing, right? When someone cooks something and it’s extra good and you ask them how it’s so good and the answer is that the secret ingredient is love?”

Cerberus, not quite sure where she’s going with this, gives her a quizzical look. It’s gearing up to be a particularly relentless week, as Influx is every year, and he’s only just at the beginning of arranging it all, he’s done very little of it to completion, and delaying further won’t help anything at all. “Yes, darkling, I suppose so, but I…” He wryly indicates a paper with a mess of unfinalised schedules on it. Another sniffle sees him claim another tissue.

Kia is not going to be distracted from her cause.

“Well, my love is not a secret.” Directing his attention now to a soup canister, she removes the cover to proudly display the contents. Floating in the broth are several vegetables which have been precisely cut into heart shapes. “It’s actual. Look - you can see the love!” She points at a heartcarrot. “Which obviously means it’s the best soup ever,” she adds with certainty, waving a presentational flourish over the soup and smiling broadly. “Anyway, so, like, I did the carrot and potato but the chicken is just shredded because it’s hard to make hearts out of chicken. Also the corn, it’s just…it’s really tiny.”

Cerberus laughs with a genuine, heartwarmed delight. This is so very Kia, so very the essence of his beloved – these thoughtful eccentricities, percipient kindnesses, the joy she always brings with it – and he curls a hand through her rich brunette waves, touches a kiss to her forehead.

“It’s wonder…” He clears his throat as his voice catches a little, sniffles again and wipes his nose. “Excuse me. It’s wonderful, love, you’re wonderful, but, really, you needn’t have gone to the trouble. I’m al… hh…” His expression collapses into an immediately surrendered frown, haze falling over emerald eyes, and he brings the tissue he’s holding up in cover, turns from Kia as much as he can in the almost no time he’s afforded before he capitulates, urgent, needful, unforgiving. “HUHTSSCH-uu! Huh-TSSCH-uu! Hh-hh… HH… AhhHETSCHUU!”

The room spins a little more than he’s prepared for and he takes a moment for a chagrined wry recovery. “Damn it. *snff!* Couldn’t have timed that more badly if I’d tried.” He clears his throat again, wipes his nose firmly. “Pardon me.”

“Bless you. Lucky for you I brought this amazing and clearly needed chicken and vegetable love soup.”

He chuckles wryly, thanks her for the blessing and wipes his nose again, just as ineffectively as the last time. “And I do appreciate it, darkling, I truly do, but I will be fine, I promise.” And he still mostly believes it, although with somewhat less conviction than perhaps he did earlier.

A languid hand weaves through falls of ebony hair as she meets his gaze, her tone faux stern for, “Oh, I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Any form of you holding me suits me perfectly well, love.” Cerberus incinerates the tissue before indicating the multitude of papers awaiting his attention. “But unfortunately, for the moment, duty calls.”

Kia sighs, just a little. “Well, if you really absolutely do have to be all big bad formidable Demon king or whatever today, you definitely need the soup,” she says, the undertone of chastisement clear as she trails a fingernail along angular cheekbone. “You’ve barely made it through a sentence without sniffling since I got here, you know.”

He’d love to not sniffle again at this point, but despite that, he absolutely does.

She quirks a knowing eyebrow at him, leans in closer for a warm, lingering kiss, and Mindsends :Nobody is too formidable for soup.:

She leans back again, looks at him in gentle yet firm challenge. “And don’t you even try to pretend.”

Cerberus chuckles wryly, shakes his head. “Ah, darkling, I wouldn’t dare.”

This magnificent goddess. The call of duty is lessening by the second.

He wraps an arm around her waist in desirous embrace, pulling her close, raising the ambient heat both with thought and physical touch. Pushing her hair aside with slow, indulgent tenderness, he tucks silken chestnut behind her ear to press a kiss to her neck, his sly smile practically tangible as he murmurs a susurrant baritone I used to run this place, you know.

“Mmh,” Kia manages, heat suffusing her, wanton volcanic, and she leans in, tracing her fingers languorously over her bonded’s face as she does so. She feels his nostrils twitch against her touch, senses as much as hears the short, sharp inhalation he cannot help but take, and the heat already burning her rises again, incendiary.

And the Demon king would very much like to not continue to perfect the art of inopportune timing but his powers have no dominion here, not in the face of this irresistible need, this culmination desperate. He turns to stifle against his shoulder, once and then again – “HXTchu! HXXTCHu!” – and he Mindsends an apology as the need, only increased with the suppression, returns renewed insistent powerful absolute and he inhales deeply, doubles over into folded arms, surrendered.

“Huh-AAHTSSCHHUU! Hhh… hh-TSSCHH-uu! HHTSSCHH-uu!”

Kia’s Mindsent :Bless you, sweetheart: is a vibration through body and soul.

“hh-AHH… Ah-TSSCHH-uu! Ah, gods.” Cerberus sniffles fiercely, murmurs a thank you and an apology, and sighs. “I suppose I’m doomed at this point, hm? Excuse me, love.” He claims a sequence of tissues and blows his nose thoroughly, which does stop the sniffling – in the short-term, at least. And it may simply be the presence of his beloved, but he strangely finds himself feeling better than he’s felt all day, even if he’s not exactly sounding the part, and he chooses the path of optimism again. “I’m sure I’ll be alright, though, honestly. These things do pass.”

“These things pass if you take care of yourself,” Kia says, her senses electric, vibrant. “Or maybe…instead of that…you could let—” The words are purred as her entire demeanour shifts, seductive, sultry. “—some very willing and—” She doesn’t break eye contact for so much as a moment as she reaches down to unbuckle his belt, unbutton his pants, and tenderly wrap her hand around him. “—very able person—" Her voice is as velvet as her touch, slowstroking with warm and firm caress. “—help with that. After all…”

:It’s no secret.:

Cerberus softgrowls with pure desire as he embraces and takes his beloved, barricades the door with directed thought, and forgets any semblance of duty entirely.

 ---

[starbuckie]

𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

pairing: college!chris beck x reader

words: 3.1k words

warnings: literally a pinch of angst and the rest is all goody holiday fluff. also i need a hug from chris beck. right now.

summary: for the first time in twenty years yn is not spending christmas with her best friend and boyfriend. what’s a girl to do without him?

a/n: i miss him so much. also i realize i’ve been writing so much college!chris stuff, i promise i’ll be getting into older, mid-thirties chris very very soon because i miss old man dick xoxo. jk, but i seriously have somne great ideas for sexy space daddy. anyways, i hope you all are having a wonderful lead up to the holidays, and stay slutty and sexy <3 (also please send me winter concepts, i need more)

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Bzz.

Y/N’s head shot up from her desk, feet failing to move her across the room gracefully as she reached for her phone from where she forced it down on her bed. Had it been any closer she would’ve texted Chris much earlier and then neither of them would get anything done. She’d been studying for her biology exam for, what, two hours now? The time on her phone showed that it was eleven at night, but what perplexed her more was the text she had from her boyfriend back in Connecticut. It must’ve been at least two in the morning and Y/N knew better than anyone else that if he did not get the right amount of sleep he would be a complete grouch for the entire day. 

can i pretty please call u?

Aaaaaand distraction began. Her heartbeat quickened just the littlest bit, giddy at the thought of seeing Chris, even if it was just for a few minutes. She quickly clicked his contact and listened to the ringing phone with a smile. 

“Hey, honey.” 

Nothing was more soothing than Chris’ sleepy voice. It was deep and guttural and quiet and she could remember nights with his hands tracing her skin, reading his textbook aloud to her in the same way. It was no different as his pretty blue eyes popped onto the screen, tucked up to right under his chin. His nose and cheeks were flushed and rosy, and given the East Coast winter it made sense. She could imagine how he looked under the covers, wrapped up in his signature NASA sweatshirt and his fuzzy socks with little stars that she’d gotten him for his birthday the year before.

She grinned when he saw her, snaking a hand out of the blanket to wave cutely. Propping her phone against the pillow, she began to talk. “Hi, babylove. Why are you up so late? Your first class is at nine,” she mentioned with a small smile. 

He sighed with a tiny frown, which really just tied off the whole sleepy teddy bear look he was rocking. “Well I was finishing up a lab report when my parents called me with some not so great news.”

“Oh,” her brows furrowed and she readjusted herself. She knew his mother hadn't been holding up the greatest with the cold Amy had brought in from the hoards in highschool a few weeks back, and it seemed as if she still wasn’t better. Y/N loved Mrs. Beck like she loved her own mother and the news fractured her heart just a bit more in preparation for the news Chris was about to share. “Is it about your mom?” 

“No, thank god, my mom’s alright, just a little sniffly,” he breathed out quickly and his girlfriend sighed in relief. “It’s just that with my dad’s new interview and my mom being sick, we’re not going to be able to fly down for Christmas. I know we had the plan to, every year we’d switch, but this year just isn’t working out for my parents.”

“Oh.” That one word wasn’t enough to describe the heavy, sinking pit in her chest but Y/N prayed and hoped that Chris couldn’t feel the disappointment and sadness radiating off her through the phone. When she had made the choice to attend UCLA, she knew what she was getting into. Long distance relationship, long distance calls, no hugs or kisses, and the underlying feeling of sickness when she even so much as thought about him in someone else’s arms. It just happened that her parents decided that a move to California was in order as well, so there wasn’t any chance of even going back to Hartford to visit them. That’s what one gets when they decide to study marine biology in Los Angeles. “That’s okay, Chris, we’ll call each other on Christmas, right? And we still have the lake trip in April, so just four more months to go.”

The couple laughed somewhat fakely, both of them knowing that this would be quite a hit to their relationship. Maybe it was Y/N’s fear of growing overly clingy to her boyfriend and chasing him into the arms of another girl at Yale, or maybe it was her sadness over the fact that they wouldn’t be together for Christmas for the first time in twenty years. They were best friends before they were lovers, and that had sped up their relationship quite a bit, but was it too fast? Senior year of high school had been a blast, a whole year full of college applications and hurried kisses and fumbled first times in bedrooms, but now that they were apart she wasn’t sure where they stood. 

“Y/N, starshine, are you frozen?” She looked up from the oh-so interesting sheets of her bed back to her phone, where a pair of pretty blue eyes were close up to the camera, confusedly staring through the screen. “I can’t tell if you’re frozen or if I am, honey, I think my RA may have screwed with our wifi again.”

“Don’t worry, Chris, I can see you.” Y/N chuckled. Leave it to him to break her out of a sour mood. Yet as cute as he was, she still felt a prickle of tired sadness poke into her heart. They both let out forced smiles, finding nothing to do but stare at each other through their phones. God, when did it get to this? She couldn’t tell how long they’d been so awkward around each other or if it was because of their given circumstances. 

Chris checked the time and let out a yawn, his eyes filling with exhausted tears. 

“I think I have to duck out soon, honey, it’s getting pretty late.” Y/N nodded a bit too quickly to his every word, placing her hand on the side of the phone and imagined that she could feel the smooth-shaven skin of Chris’ cheek under palm rather than the plastic phone case. “‘Course, babylove, you need your rest. Lord knows how much of a Grinch you are if you don’t get all eight hours of sleep.”

He smiled, his thumb hovering over the red button. “Alright, starshine, I’m gonna head off now. I love you.”

“Love you…” the call ended, only her melancholy expression staring back at her, reflecting all of the guilt and weight settled on her chest reflecting on a mirrored phone screen, “too.”

Eyes watering with burnout, Y/N held back a good, long cry and went to her small dorm room counter to make herself some chamomile tea, an empty dorm and hours of squinting at a textbook ahead of her. 

December 14. Eleven days until Christmas, one hundred and sixteen until she had Chris in her arms again.

-

“Yes, mom, I swear I put the ham in for two hours, it’s gonna be fine.” Y/N bustled around the kitchen in a hurry, sweatshirt covered in soup from an accident on the stove and hands aching and cut from cutting carrots a bit too fast. She could feel her shirt sticking to her back from the sheer amount of sweat she was producing. She felt disgusted with herself. 

Los Angeles was much warmer compared to the East Coast, year round, and of course Christmas Eve was no exception. Even after two years of college in the West, Y/N and her family still were not accepting nor had adapted to the heat change. Along with the heart of every kitchen appliance at work in the room, she was sweltering and wanted nothing more than to feel the freezing, harsh snow of Connecticut winters again. Her dad stirred together a dressing for the salad as her mom set the table with eight placemats, and she, ever the lovely daughter, had put to task with everything else. “Mom, I still don’t get why we need eight settings if it’s just the three of us this year.”

Her mom hesitated before placing down the fork in her hand, her eyes meeting her dad’s for the briefest of seconds before looking away once more. “It just looks nicer, hun, we have eight chairs at the table so it’d just look… awkward if we only had three place settings.”

The older woman came into the kitchen and cradled Y/N’s face, wiping flour from her eyebrow. “Dear Lord, you look a mess right now, Y/N.” The younger girl mumbled a sarcastic comment under her breath and her mother rolled her eyes. “Go take a shower and get dressed, your father and I will take care of the rest of dinner.”

Y/N’s eyebrows raised in surprise. Never had she or Chris been allowed to step a foot outside the kitchen until Christmas Eve dinner was done but she supposed her parents were taking pity on her for the absence of her aspiring doctor boyfriend. With a sigh she nodded, placed a gentle kiss on her mom’s cheek, and ran up the stairs to take a well deserved shower. 

The water was painfully hot when it hit her but she didn’t care anymore. Even with the outbreak of heat against her skin, she found that it soothed her about Christmas better than either of her parents’ words did. Christmas tree farm, cider-making, gift wrapping- all her thoughts led back to Christopher Beck and her heart squeezed brokenly with each task she accomplished lonely. 

Once she was done berating herself in the shower, she stepped out, accepting the cool air that greeted her. Granted it wasn’t really cool, but it seemed that way after her steam-filled bath. With a clean body and nice-smelling hair for a change, she walked back into her room to choose an outfit. She’d normally dress nicely, a pretty dress or skirt that complimented her well, but she felt no effort being put towards the holiday this year. 

Instead she opted for jeans and her favorite cream sweater, nice enough for Christmas but not breaking her barrier of crippling sadness and reality. The wool material felt like another warm hug enveloping her arms, replacing the arms of the boy she loved across the county. God, he was all she could think about even miles away. How she had made it through finals was beyond her own knowledge. 

Ella Fitzgerald started playing from the record player from the living room downstairs, and Y/N let herself close her eyes and remember Chris’ hands on her waist the year before as they danced to the same vinyl. She hummed softly bringing her own arms to wrap around herself, slowly swaying around her room to the gentle beat as she looked around her bedroom.

Since the family had moved to California, she hadn’t actually spent much time in her new room, but what she had achieved was some semblance of her old childhood room in Connecticut, starting off with polaroids and glossy photos of the life lived back there as well. But the one that was most appealing to her was the one on the day of her and Chris’ highschool graduation, with his arm slung around her waist so boyishly and his face nuzzled in her hair. He looked so sweet with his round glasses perched on his nose and his little khaki get-up, his frame towering over hers and feeling protective. 

And the dress she wore, she still had it hung up in her closet. It was a simple white dress. It had fit her like a glove then, hugging her body in all the most appealing places, a satin baby-blue bow running across her waist. In the framed photo she saw her younger self accompany her outfit with a dainty silver necklace with her birthstone as a pendant, a birthday gift from Chris in middle school that still laid snug against her skin under the sweater, sat just in the center of her collarbones to bring in the sweetheart look she was pulling off. She also remembered how much her loverboy had liked that dress, taking every chance to expel his love for it and for her for that whole, perfect day.

Though it had only been a few years since their highschool graduation, she could already feel the memories of those years slipping through her fingers. Time truly slowed when Chris wasn’t around, but all of a sudden it seemed to pass all too quickly as she watched their life in pictures. 

“That was the day our parents finally let us go off on the New York trip by ourselves right, right?” Y/N jumped nearly ten feet in the air, catching her breath just before sharply turning to meet the intruder at her front door.

But it wasn’t an intruder. No, instead she was met with a six foot tall man with fluffy chestnut hair and gorgeous baby blues. He wore a pristine white dress shirt tucked into black pants, a huge smile etched onto his face, and held up two wrapped rectangles that she knew were more astronomy books for her to read. And she knew it all so well because it was Chris. Her Chris. And he was finally home for the holidays.

“You look like an angel, honey.” The woman couldn’t respond, too caught up in the wonder of him being in her room, standing and acting like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

Chris’ smile grew wider at her lack of response, knowing he’d tease her for her slack jaw and wide, adoring eyes later, and stuck out his arms, invitingly warm, just for her. “Well, starshine, aren’t you gonna say anything?”

He’d soon take back his words, as Y/N chose to speak with actions rather than his loved words. Her heart filled with overwhelming joy and her held back tears finally spilled over, racing down her face in celebration of a return. Running across the floors at full speed, she hit Chris like a freight train, plowing straight into him and burying her face into his chest. “You’re here.” Her voice came out muffled through the fabric of his shirt, “You came back to me.”

He pulled her back from his chest, not wasting a second in feeling her soft lips on his chapped ones. He savored the taste of her, like cinnamon and cloves from the gingerbread she had probably snuck while cooking downstairs, and he groaned when she returned the kiss with as much fervor. Her tongue slipped past his lips as her arms drew his neck into her. Yet Y/N couldn’t help the smile that fought against her mouth, so she pressed it against his equally wide one. And, oh god, how she had missed those lips. Pillowy and soft with just the right amount of pressure, calloused hands cradling her face in the gentlest of ways. 

Even after they had both gasped for air, he continued to steal quick kisses from her as he spoke. “Had to,” kiss, “come back,” kiss, “to you, honey.” Kiss. “Did you think I was just gonna leave you all alone on Christmas? Haven’t spent this day apart in-”

“Twenty years,” Her final peck broke apart their embrace, her eyes now focused on the rough stubble that covered his chin. “This is new.”

Her hands scraped over the once-smooth skin, and she didn't deny the feel of it. It was nice. His eyes turned almost sinister then, darkening with every word he spoke. “Well, I was thinking about how much you used to like it and thought it would be a nice surprise.”

His insinuating eyes were no secret to his girlfriend and she smacked his chest with a gentle laugh before pulling him down to her, nose to nose. “Oh, trust me, hun, it’s more than welcome.”

“Ew!” Amy Beck stood in the doorway, dressed in a red sweater and a white jean skirt, her childish, blue eyes filled with disgust. At the gleaming age of seventeen, she held her phone in hand and a mug of cocoa in the other, pointing it at Chris in disgusted shock. “I do not need to hear that the reason you decided to grow your gross hobo beard out is because you were planning on being a pervert. Mom raised you better than that, big brother.” She glared at her sibling with knives as slits in her eyes, before turning to one of the women she had admired most growing up with a just as adoring smile. “It’s great to see you, Y/N, come down to eat whenever you’re ready.”

The seventeen-year old girl murmured continuously as she left Y/N’s room, her stomping footsteps shaking the house. Chris and Y/N stood in the room, completely still and caught up in embarrassment before she started laughing, trying to stifle the sounds of her joy against her boyfriend’s shoulder. Her laughter egged on his own and though his face was flushed completely red, he managed to fumble out an apology to his girlfriend.

“I think you just scarred poor Ames for life, she’s never gonna look at you the same way,” the woman grinned.

“Nah,” he brushed it off, even with his fully blushing face, “she’s just surprised and in awe that I actually get some.”

He sighed with a fond smile, and pecked her on the lips one more time, just trying to hold on the feeling of her lips against his before he had to leave again, but he didn’t want to think about that. He had a full-on week with his love. He could work with a week.

Y/N’s genuine smile was never ending as she wrapped her arms around her idiot-but-also-genius-of-a-boyfriend’s waist. All of her stress, all of her worries and everything else within miles dissipated in that moment, because nothing else was more important than Chris being in her hold again. She didn’t even think about how he was here. Was his mom okay? Did his dad book the job? Did he plane over himself? 

But it was not a time for questions. Just long-awaited love.

“It’s good to have you home, babylove.”

Home. Shouldn’t have come as a surprise, after all his heart would always follow hers even if there was an entire galaxy separating the two. It may have not been everlasting, this moment, but they’d be damned if they didn’t savor every second they had together. 

“It’s good to be home for the holidays, starshine.”

[lihikainanea]

Hey kids gather 'round it's story time.

Never a dull moment.

Listen, I have never wanted kids alright? And one of the main reasons is because they like...they last too long. They always need something from you, they're energy suckers, your life isn't your own anymore, all the women I know who have had kids have lost every shard of self-identity they had and now they're just mommy. Their kids are all they talk about. And I just think kids are kinda gross--sniffly, germ bags, spontaneous vomit, all of it. Just ew.

But then like I got a dog right, and dogs are probably not all that different except I have a world of patience for dogs. I love dogs. They are selfless, goofy dopes who are just full of love. But Bongo, y'know, poor Bongo--he's a wee pup, still only 8 months old, and he has a sensitive tummy and a kind of oblivious owner and it all just culminates sometimes in a very bad day.

I switched up his diet to raw about 2 weeks ago and he's been doing real well. He started getting a bit finicky on Friday night, didn't really eat much, but the raw meal I had put down for him was fish-based and while he wolfed it down the first time, I thought maybe this time he wasn't a big fan of it. He kinda sniffed it, nibbled on some of it at breakfast and dinner, but that was it. No big deal--dogs also kind of go through a natural fasting once a week.

Fast forward to Saturday. I gave him breakfast then headed off for the day, and my parents watched him. All was well, he ate, my dad is basically like his favourite toy--it was a good day all around.

Sunday comes and he's having some uh, stomach issues. Nothing drastic. He's not eating a whole lot, and I figured it's probably just tiredness because he was at daycare Thursday and Friday and didn't sleep all of Saturday so whatever. His nose is cold, he's super playful, we cool bruh.

Now, today---ohhhh, today kids. I woke up at 6AM to the sound of him horking, and it's all bile which I kind of expected because puppy tummies you know? He didn't eat much the day before so his stomach acid is probably all out of whack. I gotchu, little dude--I'm the same way. I dutifully clean it up, and lift him off my bed at record speed before he horks again. Why do dogs always head for the bed or the couch when they're about to spew? Come on man.

But now here's where it gets good. I give him breakfast, he scarfs it down and gives me a happy little awooooo and a butt wiggle as he eats. He has a nice long walk. Lots of play time. He has another long walk at lunch. And right after lunch I have to head to the pet store, so I put him in the car and off we go.

He had just walked for an hour friends.

And we get into the pet store, and literally within 30 seconds he's whining--and then he squats.

Right there in aisle 3. Squats. And what he unleashes can only be fairly described as an exorcism of the anus. This belongs to Satan now. He owns it. The sphincter of the almighty Beast. Kids, I'm talking a mess. Complete with loud, disgusting, squelching gaseous noises.

And it goes on for about 30 seconds.

In front of two other people.

One of which was a man who looked like a linebacker, who promptly gagged and went "Yo that dog ain't right."

Thank you, sir, for noticing. Now please look away, lest the demon who has possessed my sweet puppy's digestive tract goes for yours next.

I am embarassed, so humiliated, and also concerned because that was uh---that was violent. But Bongo wags his nubbins butt, daintily steps over his avalanche, and heels by my side.

I go to the cashier. Face beet red, I tell her that my pup had an accident and I'll need some cleaning supplies. She hands me a few squares of toilet paper.

I ask her if she has a bucket and a mop. And a priest on speed dial, I think.

I wish I had a camera for her face. She looked disgusted, and I can't blame her. She informs me this is all she has. I ask her for a few plastic bags.

And like a champ, I clean it up. I want to cry, and I'm also focused on making sure Bongo knows he didn't do anything wrong, but I want to cry and hurl and gag and just give up all at the same time. But I clean it up. It takes two bags. Then I carry the bags outside to a trash can far away, because it is disgusting. The girl hollers and asks me if she can have the leftover roll of toilet paper back.

"There's none left," I mutter sheepishly.

And basically, now I can never go into that store again because my little satanic possessed ausshole is having a full on shituation.

[perksofhs]

“Baby you know I love you right?”

Hi lovelies! Here is my first request piece! I originally posted this ages ago but it seemed to be blocked and wasn’t viewable in tags. Anyway enjoy! Xx

He’d started feeling ill a few days before Christmas Eve, a sniffly nose, sore throat, hot and cold sweats and a fever leading to the conclusion that he had in fact come down with a rather bad flu. He was nuzzled under a mound of blankets that every couple of hours would be thrown off at the onset of a hot sweat even though he knew he’d be freezing in about 10 minutes and have to pull them all back up. He was surrounded by an ever growing number of used tissues and half empty cold and flu medicine packets. You’d been there the whole time insisting that you loved being the care taker for him like he’d done multiple times for you in the 10 months you’d been together. And it was true, plus he was cute when he was sick, he was super cuddly, wanting nothing but you to be next to him holding him close. You knew getting sick yourself was inevitable but you really couldn’t care less, he needed you and you relished in it.

“You need to eat more than that, two spoonfuls isn’t enough” you said, trying to get him to have at least another few mouthfuls of the soup you had prepared but he refused like a stubborn child. “C’mon its pumpkin, your favourite, please baby have some more, I promise it will make you feel better” he huffed and cautiously pushed himself up into a sitting position “Hm fine i’ll have some more, but only because I love you”. “I love you too, plus you want to be better for Christmas Day, being sick on Christmas is the worst. Eat up buttercup! I’m going to duck to the shop and grab a few things to finish out the Christmas shopping before it gets crazy over the next few days. That better be gone when I get back” you said giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “Ok, can you get me some more tissues and cough drops? My throat is still killing me” he said with a pout “Ok baby I’ll add them to the list, I’ll be back in an hour or so, don’t forget to drink water, and take another cold and flu, the last one will be starting to wear off soon an-” “I think I can handle it babe, just go!” Harry laughed, urging you to get out the door. “Fine! Fine! I’m going! Love you baby” you responded, grabbing your keys and twirling your scarf around your neck before opening the door and bracing the brisk December air.

You’d come home about 2 hours later, trudging inside struggling slightly with the 6 bags of last minute Christmas supplies and a few gifts. You walked down the hallway, dropping the bags on the kitchen island with thud. “Baby how are you feeling? Did you take your cold and flu?” you said, walking into the lounge only to be met with a very asleep Harry, cuddled deep into his blanket nest, messy curls stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead. You placed a soft kiss on his forehead before puling the blankets up slightly, doing your best to gently tuck him in. The room was a mess so you grabbed a spare plastic bag and started tidying the mess. Amongst the tissues, medicine and cough drop wrappers strewn across the coffee table was his leather bound journal, wide open with the a pen resting in the the middle of the two papers. As you reached across to grab the rubbish that surrounded it, you couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of what was freshly written in the journal. What you read made your heart sink, “I really do love her, please don’t let this be another failed relationship where the love is only from one side again. I don’t think I could handle another broken heart at Christmas. I need her to love me too”. It took you a moment to process those words. Why would he ever think that you weren’t truly in love with him? When he’d said ‘I love you�� you’d said it right back, tears in your eyes, no hesitation or questioning whether you loved him back because it was so obvious that you did. You knew his last couple of relationships didn’t end well but you had no idea that his heart had been broken once or maybe twice at what was meant to be the most magical time of the year.

The sound of Harry starting to stir awake snapped you out of your thoughts, quickly swiping the last few tissues into the bag, flipping the journal closed as if you’d read nothing. Although you couldn’t hide the sadness in your face, the fact that you were on the verge of tears was all too evident. “Mmm you’re back” Harry mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Yep, got everything done, all ready for Christmas day now.” you tried to brush off what you’d just found out but your voice was every so slightly wavering. “Babe are you ok?” He said, reaching out to grab your free hand, stopping you from trying to walk away. A tear slid down your cheek at his words, you frantically tried to wipe it away and brush it off “Yeah yeah I’m fine” you assured but he wasn’t that stupid. “No you’re not, what happened? Did something happen while you were out? Are you hurt?” he worried about you going out by yourself now that your relationship was known to the world. Your features softened, you debated with yourself on whether to mention what you’d just read, on one hand it’s a massive invasion of privacy and it was obviously not meant for your eyes to see but you also needed him to understand that you were committed, fully, to this relationship, to him. “Baby you know I love you right? No ifs ands or buts, I really truly love you” you said, finalising your decision, not answering the questions he’d posed. For a moment he looked completely confused, the sudden profession of your love for him taking him by surprise but then it clicked and his eyes flicked across to his journal.

His expression changed to one of guilt. “Did I do something that made you question it? Do I not show it enough? I don’t know what else I can do!” you said, kneeling down to his level, taking his hands into yours, him gripping them tighter than he ever had. “No baby its nothing you did, I’ve just had so many failed relationships that I can’t turn my brain off when it starts questioning things. You know it was around Christmas two years ago that my last proper relationship broke down?” He was nearly crying, his already red eyes welling up. You knew his last girlfriend was a piece of work but you never imagined she’d be that heartless, especially at Christmas. “Harry I had no idea” you said, placing your hands on his cheeks, lifting his tired sad eyes to meet your similarly watery ones “I can promise you though, right here right now, that that will never happen with me. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Not only have you added to my life in the most positive way but you have changed me for the better. You helped me realise my worth. You are the most kind, most genuine, most loving partner I have ever have and ever intend on having because you are my end zone Harry. There is no doubt in my mind that you are my person and you shouldn’t have any doubt either. I love you H, and I will forever.” The tears were rolling down his cheeks, as they were yours, a watery smile on his lips. You pulled in him, placing your lips ever so gently on his, solidifying the words that you’d just said. His hands rose to your cheeks, wiping away your tears. “Thank you” is all he could manage to say. “Thank you for what?” you enquired, puzzled by his response. “Thank you for loving me, for loving me entirely. I love you so much” he said before pulling you up into the warmest hug. You smiled, finally content with him knowing that there was never a need to be insecure, you loved him and he loved you and that was that.

You pulled away from the hug, sniffing back the rest of the tears “Ok now that we’ve got that all sorted, have you taken your cold and flu? You’re feeling a little warm” he couldn’t help but chuckle at you getting straight back into carer mode. “I did take them and I ate all of my soup I promise, all I want right now is for you to stay here with me, I need a proper cuddle.” You laughed, happily obliging, plopping yourself down next to him, his arms wrapping themselves securely around your waist with yours around his neck “I love you baby” you said, pecking a kiss to his slightly sweaty neck “I love you too baby, so much” he said, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before closing his eyes contently asking himself what he ever did to deserve any of this.

This is another instalment of the ‘The Words you Speak’ series, I’d normally put the link but putting links seems to have been what stopped this post from being viewable so just click on my profile and the Masterlist link is at the top! xx

[alienduckpond]

Back in town - ch 4 - Slip Up

Mistakes are made when Ella assembles the Amber Island bridge.

Warning for a little bit of angst, and a mention of a remembered childhood accident? It’s not graphic, but I think it needs warning for?

1 - Good Day / 3 - BooBoo Pouch

-~-

Arlo hitched Spacer to one of the wooden planks stacked up between the path and the river, shifting Ella’s tool belt closer to the middle so it wouldn’t fall off if Spacer pulled. There was still a huge amount of material left to be added to the bridge, considering that Ella had already been constantly working on it for two full days now.

But then, this was one of the bigger projects that the guild had hosted, he thought as he walked down to the bank, squinting in the fading daylight at the bare bones of the structure she’d made so far. And the fact that she was already assembling the whole thing, only three weeks after she moved to town and getting her license, was incredibly impressive.

She was standing on one of the stone pillars closer to the Island side, tying together what looked like the last of the connections of giant pipe and hardwood log that would make up the edges of the bridge which stretched from bank to bank, to the thick crossways support beam. He watched her tie a series of knots with an appreciative quiet hum before Ella stood up and pulled on the rope, using her weight to secure it snuggly as she dangled back over the water, and he could see her look of intense concentration in the light from the lamp on the cross beam.

Stopping to wait by one of the end supports, a huge slab of wood buried in the ground, he thought she met his eyes when she half turned towards him. Her eyes were flickering in the light from the lamp as she gripped the rope one handed and leaned further out over the river, stretching her other arm out as if reaching for the waterfall. But since her face was pointed almost directly at him he lifted his hand and waved. 

“Hey Ella, any idea how much--"

The shriek she let out when her head jerked slightly, her feet actually leaving the stone pillar as she jumped in shock, made him flinch. He had a split second to register that she was most definitely looking at him now before he had to watch in what felt like slow motion as she grabbed at the rope which was slipping through her fingers. Because the same reflex that had made her jump had also made her let go of the rope.

And since she'd been leaning off the pillar, that meant that her precarious footing and support became no footing and support, and he could do nothing but stare as she tipped backwards, and fell into the water with an enormous splash.

Swearing as he hurried forward to the edge of the river, he grit his teeth and jumped down into it while his head filled with memories of the last time she’d fallen in. He stared desperately at the spot she’d gone under between the upriver pillars as he waded forward, but the water was dark in the fading light, and the lamp shining from above was making the surface reflective.

“Ella?” he called, panicked and preparing himself to go even further out into the freezing water and find her, but then her head broke the surface and she gasped and spluttered. She flailed a little bit before one of her hands pushed her sopping wet hair from her face, long enough for him to catch the murderous glare she sent him before she let go and it immediately fell back down with a heavy slap.

“Lolo! You are dead when I get over there!” she yelled, kicking forward and starting to lurch towards him, swimming one handed as her other hand held her thick hair out of her eyes again. “I swear, you really are a jinx! I hadn’t dropped anything in the river the entire time I’ve been here but the second you show up I fall in?”

He let out a silent sigh of relief as she kept ranting while she swam closer. She was fine. She wasn’t four years old and unable to swim. She was fine. But then he started to actually listen to what she was saying, and choked on a laugh. He hadn’t heard words like that since he’d walked past a group of drunk Duvosian sailors while he was in Tallsky. And hearing such words in Ella’s normally sweet voice was, was not something he’d ever expected to happen.

“Ella!” he finally managed to get out, not sure if he was shocked more that she knew words and phrases like that, or that she was directing them at him, and watched as she rolled her eyes, lip pulling back in a sneer. He stepped out further into the water, wading forward till it swirled around his thighs to reach for her, grabbing her wrist when her hand slapped into him and turning to start pulling her closer to shore.

"Oh shove off Lolo, I’m almost certain you’ve heard worse in your time with the Corps.”

“Well, yes,” he admitted, tugging her forward to a shallower stretch of river bed and helping her stand next to him. She stumbled slightly as the force of the water buffeted her, and he shifted himself to stand upstream to block it. “But there’s a difference between hearing random people saying it and, well, you.”

She groaned and dropped her head, and he knew she was rolling her eyes at him even without seeing it. Letting go of her wrist to wrap his fingers around her arm above her elbow firmly, he tugged her into movement again, trying to shield her as best he could from the flow.

“We’ve been over the whole I’m an adult now thing, right?” she asked, sounding slightly more annoyed than amused. “I’m pretty sure we’ve covered it several times now that I’m a real proper grown up person, who is allowed to do things like swear.”

“We have, but you’ll always be my sweet and innocent little Beany Boo to me,” he told her cheerfully, trying to ignore her disdainful snort which was followed immediately by a sneeze as they reached the bank. Shifting his hand back down to hers, he climbed up onto solid ground in one step, then waited while she grumbled at him and his stupidly long legs before pulling her up when she nodded at him. He reached forward to grab her other hand when she yelped as her foot slipped out from under her as the mud gave way, and pulled her against his chest before moving to wrap his arm around her to hold her steady. 

“You ok?”

“Yeah. Thanks,” she muttered, sounding petulant. “I’m still mad at you though. The water's bloody freezing."

Slowly dropping his gaze to his own legs, the waterline halfway up his thighs standing out starkly in the light from the lamp even at this distance, he then lifted his eyes to meet her sparkling ones as she leaned into him, and he felt a shiver run up her back. 

"You don't say," he said dryly, keeping his expression and voice as blank as possible, which earned him the snort he’d been hoping for. “Come here pest, let’s get you warmed up.”

“Don’t you pest me,” she snarked, pausing to sneeze as he tried to lead her to Spacer. “It’s your own fault we’re both wet you bloody jinx. If anyone’s a pest, it’s you.”

She cut herself off with a string of sneezes, wobbling forward and clutching at his arm when they were done, and he frowned as he looked her over, seeing another shiver shake her body. She sniffed and wrapped her arms around herself, and immediately leaned against Spacer when they reached him.

He sighed fondly, then started unbuckling his shoulder harness and unzipping his jacket. He shrugged it off and spun it round and over her head to settle it on her shoulders, quickly sweeping her heavy mass of hair up and onto the outside of it before holding the sides up with a grin.

“Arms.”

“Damnit Arlo, what did I just say about me not being a kid anymore? You don’t need to fuss over me like this, it’s not like I was going to drown out there!” she snapped, glaring up at him and jerking herself backwards, and he felt his smile falter as he met her eyes. But he kept watching her, letting his face settle into his blank Captain’s mask as he waited. She finally huffed and did as he asked, shoving her arms into the sleeves and standing still as he tugged the front together, then reached for the zip.

It took him several tries to hook the zip in place, then he pulled it up quickly to the top of the collar by her nose, letting go as soon as he could and stepping away from her.

“Not this time, no. But you almost did. When you were four. Right here, on the old Amber Island bridge. So I’m sorry, but you’ll have to forgive me for wanting to reassure myself that you’re ok this time.”

Turning around before she could say anything else, he walked swiftly to the bridge frame and up onto the pipe. He ignored the way his shoes squelched as he made his way to her lamp, trying to not actually think about anything. Quickly leaning down to grab the handle, he paused when he saw how badly his hands were shaking.

She had to have no idea. That was the only reason she’d have said what she did. She wouldn’t, there was no way she’d have gone there if she actually remembered. She wasn’t like that.

The memory hit him again and he pressed his palms against his eyes. 

Gust and Ella bickering on the bridge, one of them having done something to the other yet again. Then Ella's high pitched yell. Gust screaming her name. 

Looking up from cleaning Sonia's scraped knee in time to watch Gust hit the water, and both him and Paulie scrambling into the river to try to grab him. Only for Gust to pop up, spluttering and holding Ella. 

Ella who was coughing and gasping and clinging to Gust’s neck, who was trying his best to keep them afloat as Arlo and Paulie swam over. Ella who had almost gone under again when she tried to wriggle out of Gust’s hold before Arlo was close enough to catch her.

Ella who had stayed in bed for a week with a sniffly fever and cried whenever he left her sight.

Pressing harder against his eyes, he dropped into a crouch to rest his elbows on his knees. She'd been fine. She'd been completely fine afterwards and never acted any different or like she'd even realised anything had happened, aside from her sudden dislike of sea urchins.

He groaned, rubbing his hands over his face and into his hair, anchoring himself with the faint pain as he clenched his fingers.

Because while he was pretty sure he was allowed to be slightly over protective right now, given the circumstances, she, she did have a point about the him treating her like a kid thing.

He had been getting better about catching himself before he could fall into old habits, most of the time. He wasn’t reaching out to clean the grease or food off her face, or brush dirt out of her hair. And he’d been letting her pay for her own things after she made a huge point about him putting everything on his tabs around town. He’d tried to bite his tongue and wait for her to come to him to ask what it was she’d done to upset people, before he helped her fix things, like he had the first time she met Merlin. And he was fine with standing back and letting her lift and carry things, since he’d seen first hand she was just as capable as he was, possibly even able to carry things for longer.

But seeing her soaking wet and shivering, here at the Amber Island bridge…

It had been way too close to that memory.

He pulled his hands down over his cheeks, counting to twenty before dropping them completely to grab the lamp and push himself up. He rolled his shoulders and breathed deeply one last time, then turned and started back. He kept his eyes on his feet, concentrating on staying on the flattest part of the edge so he wouldn’t slip. His waterproof boots really were amazing, in that they hadn’t let any of the water out of them yet, which was throwing off his sense of balance slightly.

Stumbling slightly when he jumped the last few steps to the dirt he looked over to Spacer, expecting to find Ella already mounted and waiting for him. But she wasn’t. She was exactly where he’d left her, staring at the floor and hugging herself tightly, the sleeves of his jacket dangling down off her hands.

She looked utterly ridiculous. Adorable, but ridiculous. And he mentally scolded himself for thinking so after everything she’d said today, but she really did. 

The sleeves ended a good hands length past her fingertips, and the bottom hem which normally sat nicely on his hips reached down to her thighs. The zip was poking at her nose, completely hiding her mouth given how high the collar was on her, and she seemed to be doing her best to shrink down and hide behind it as he crossed the space between them to stop in front of her.

It was just like when she’d been a kid, stealing his jumpers whenever he wasn’t looking to bury herself in, and while he’d normally find the thought amusing and possibly heart warming, right now it was making him feel… empty.

He tipped his head back to stare at the clouds, frowning when he saw how dark and fast they were moving. He sniffed, the smell of rain thick in the air, and looked back down at the top of Ella’s head.

“It’s about to rain. C’mon, I’ll give you a ride home.”

Shaking her head and bending it further forward, he had to lean in to hear her when she started to mumble, muffled as she was by his collar.

“I’m still damp, and I don’t want want to get your saddle wet. I’ll sit behind you.”

He sighed heavily, running his hand through his hair and considered arguing, before deciding he simply didn’t have the energy right now. He walked past her and untied Spacer, grabbing her work belt as he did and throwing it over his shoulder. He hooked the lamp on one of the saddle hooks then pulled himself up, taking his foot from the stirrup and holding his hand down to help her mount. He waited till she’d settled behind him, her hands resting lightly on his hips, and he bit down the sigh that wanted to escape. Instead, he simply grabbed her hands and pulled them forward, wrapping them around his waist until he felt her snug against his back, gripping her hand when he felt her try to pull away.

“Hold on tight please, I’m going to cut across the llama field and I don’t want you falling off,” he said, keeping his voice professionally bland. He let go of her, waiting for a second to see if her hands would stay where he’d put them, and then grabbed the reins and kicked Spacer into motion.

They crossed the road in silence, and he settled a hand on top of hers again when Spacer jumped up the small ledge only to immediately let go as soon as they were on flat ground. He could hear the wind picking up, and the smell of rain was getting stronger. Hopefully he’d be able to get back to the Corps before it really started, since he was going to be leaving his jacket with her. Which he should talk to her about.

He tried different things in his head as they trotted across the field, the only sounds the wind rustling the branches of the trees as it picked up speed, and then her sneezes as the wind whipped around them and made her shiver against his back. He nudged Spacer around her fence, then pulled him to a stop at her gate.

Well, it was now or never he guessed. 

“I’m sorry for startling you and making you fall,” he started, deciding his Captain voice was probably best for what he needed to say. “I thought you were already looking at me or I’d have got your attention some other way. And I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you.”

Her hands tensed against his stomach, pulling against him, and he tried to ignore it as he went on.

“You’re right. I sometimes treat you as the little girl I knew before, as my darling little sister who needs watching over, and you aren’t her. You’re an independent young woman now who knows all sorts of things, and who is more than capable of looking after herself. You’re an adult, and a member of our community, and you don’t need me coddling or protecting you. As the Captain of the Corps, I should have done better and treated you more fairly. I promise, I’ll stop treating you differently, and--”

“No,” she shouted, sounding choked as her hands pulled tightly against him, squeezing at his sides. He heard her growl a string of muttered profanity as she let go of him, then she shifted against his back. She pulled away from him completely, and he whipped his head around to look back at her only to collide with her cheek as she draped herself over his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him back against her chest. She turned her head into his, her wet fringe pressed into his cheek and she made a soft, choked noise.

“No, it’s, it’s ok. I know I complain, but I, I don’t mind. I, I really like when you look after me. It’s nice to be reminded that you care, ya know? I’m sorry Lolo, I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She trailed off with an actual sob, her body shaking against his back, and shit!

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” she went on, voice thick around her tears. He reached up to wrap his fingers around her arms, trying to pull her away so he could turn, but she held onto him tighter. 

“I know I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, I’m just all aggy today and I took it out on you when you didn’t deserve it. I, I. It’s no excuse, but I didn’t have anyone in Barnarock to help me. There was no one there who understood me. Kendra was alright, but, but she weren’t Ma, and she weren’t you. There was no one who understood me or who helped me with people, no one who explained things like you did, and I couldn’t rely on anyone so I ended up doing everything myself. And then coming back here and having you looking after me again is so, it’s all--”

She stopped, letting off a soft whine as she pressed her face into his, and he felt her tears start to slide down his cheek. He started shushing her, leaning his head into hers with as much pressure as he could and holding her arms while he made comforting noises.

“Please, please don't stop looking after me and being my Lolo. Please don’t leave me. I don't want to stop being your Ella, or your Beany. I, please?”

She stopped completely then, her sobs loud in his ear and her arms like iron bands around him. He stroked her arm, and tried to shift his hand to stroke her hair too but he couldn’t from the angle they were in. He opened his mouth to try talking to her, to tell her it was all ok, but there was a lump in his throat. A lump of all the feelings from the evening he wasn’t sure he could identify, that was making words impossible and his own eyes itch.

He simply pressed his cheek into her again, rubbing against her as best he could as he started to hum. An old tune that his Ma used to use when he was little, and he’d used on her when she was a baby. Probably not the best thing he could do given everything, but it was all he could think of right now.

It seemed to work though, since her crying slowed to the occasional wet hiccup. She slid down his back, her arms moving from around his shoulders to settle loosely around his own, and he could finally wriggle his way free to spin round, throwing his leg over Spacer’s head and sliding off.

He held his hands up to her, wriggling his fingers when she simply sat and stared at him, sniffling loudly. She hiccuped, then sneezed before she leaned forward to swing her leg backwards, and he caught her around the waist as she fell towards him. He set her on her feet then wrapped his arms tightly around her, copying the position she’d had him in and pulling her as close as he could, not caring about her sopping hair trapped between them.

“I’m sorry Ella. I’m sorry. But it’s ok. It’s ok. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll, I’ll be here as long as you want me to be, ok? We just, we just need to work out some boundaries I think. But we can do that later. Come on, let’s get you inside. It’s going to start raining any minute and you’re already soaked.”

He let go of her when she nodded mutely, her hands scrubbing at her face. He moved round her to smile softly, holding her face between his palms and rubbing at the tear tracks under her eyes. 

“Go on inside now, I’ll come see you tomorrow. I should be free after two maybe, so-”

“Can’t you come in now?” she interrupted, hiccuping slightly at the end. “Can’t, can’t you come in and we can talk now? You, you can come in and warm up and I can wash and dry your clothes. I’ve got pyjamas that might be loose enough to fit you, and plenty of blankets for your stupidly long legs.”

Huffing a laugh at her attempt to lighten the mood, he pulled back and started to shake his head, and she grabbed at his arms. The ends of the sleeves flipped over to wrap around him, as if joining in her pleas for him to stay.

“Please! I finished fixing the loft, and I’ve been setting up a blanket fort up where my old bedroom was. We can go sit in it, and I’ll make tea and cocoa, and you can, you can tell me more about what you got up to while I wasn’t here. I want. I mean, I. Just. Please?”

Staring at him, eyes wide and hopeful, it took effort to look away and glance up at the clouds, then close his eyes to listen. He could faintly hear the rain already falling somewhere, which meant it’d be on them soon enough, and he really should go.

“Spacer can come in too! I can set a tarp down so he doesn’t make a mess, and I’ve got a bunch of apples inside he can eat, and other veg. So, please? Please stay Lolo?”

Slowly opening his eyes to look at her again, his resolve wavered further. Lips wobbling, eyes begging, he sighed. Because he never had been able to say no to her.

He reached out and pushed her gate so it swung open, then gripped her shoulder to turn her towards her house. He smiled at her when she tried to resist, her eyes welling up again as they stayed locked on his and her lip wobbling more.

“You better go find that tarp quickly, or else you’ll have a very wet horse to clean up after.”

-~-

5 - Unexpected Discoveries

[whispersandwhiskerburn]

It’s a Terrible Tree

Angel’s 2017 Christmas Drabble #9 (Christmas Drabbles List)

Request: @plaidstiel-wormstache said: Sam with the sad Christmas Tree: I'm thinking decorating anything that resembles a tree, even a dead branch, cause this way it's "officially" Christmas with a "decorated tree"?! Pairing:  AU?--Sam Wesson x Reader Word Count: 1,830 Warnings: Negative Christmas themes portrayed realistically: Financial struggle, stress of the holiday? Combined with the angst of how Sam Wesson felt in that episode canonically... but it has a fluffy ending. :D Flangst? Author’s Note: This was a weird combination. I try to write canon-style, but I could only picture this request working with an AU-Sam...which led to Sam Wesson, for whom I’ve never written. But the prompt also reminded me of something my dad did to my mom on their first Christmas together.... but I wanted to end with fluffy Christmas feelings. Idk if it worked well, but thanks for trusting me to write it anyway!

“Hello, my name is Sam Wesson, and how can I help you today?”

He was so tired of this job.

“Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

Every day was the exact same thing. Over and over again.

“Have you tried turning it off? Go ahead, I’ll wait.”

Over and over and over again.

“Give it a moment.”

The monotony was going to drive him insane, and soon.

“Okay, ma’am try turning it back on again. It’s working now?”

He finished the call on auto-pilot, much like the life he was living.

“That’s great. No problem, ma’am, I’m glad to help. Happy holidays, and thank you for calling Sandover Tech Support.”

He disconnected the call and leaned back in his tiny desk chair, which barely fit in his tiny office cubicle, which never seemed to fit him.

It wasn’t just the stress of the holidays, the overtime he was working just to earn enough to pay the bills, the loss of his buddy in the cubicle behind him. He would never understand how Ian would kill himself like that. Or Paul for that matter.

Maybe the Christmas stress was what got them.

Sam Wesson felt that nagging thing in the back of his mind, an urge that something wasn’t right, that nothing was right. Once again, he fought to ignore it. Just like he fought those ridiculous dreams where he was fighting things that didn’t exist.

When his cell phone vibrated in his pocket, he took it out with a sigh, hoping it wasn’t another bill collector. When he saw Y/N’s face and name though, the first genuine smile stretched across his face and he leaned into his cubicle to take his non-work call.

“Hey babe.”

“Hey, yourself.” He could hear her smile in their usual back and forth response. Even though it fit the pattern of his life, this part never felt wrong, never felt monotonous.

“I know you’re busy and everything, but I just got off the phone with my mother--” Sam could practically hear Y/N’s eye roll, “and she’s really insisting we nail down a date for for when we can go visit them for a Christmas dinner. I know it means a half-day of work to take the drive, but… it’s my mother. And it’s Christmas.”

Sam let the silence sit for a moment. He knew this was important, but he’d just gone over his work schedule with his floor manager after the morning meeting.

“I’m sorry, babe, we’re short staffed and Richards has me working almost every shift. What about inviting her over to our place instead?” At least that way his boss couldn’t complain.

“Are you sure, Sam? I mean, our place is kind of small, and we haven’t decorated or anything…. Mom would love to come; she’s been bugging me about inviting her over ever since we moved in together, and I don’t mind cooking but…”

Sam pictured her chewing on her bottom lip the way she did when she was worried about something.

He smiled, “It’ll be fine, Y/N. Look, you’re out late tonight with Beth, right?”

Her friend was having a bachelorette party and Y/N, as the maid of honor, had been fielding a lot of responsibilities with that, adding to her stress.

“Yeah, probably till midnight or so. Quite a few in the bridal party have to work tomorrow.”

“Well, I’ll decorate when I get home--” She scoffed in disbelief.

“What? I can decorate. As I was saying, I’ll decorate when I get home, make it look really nice for you and your mom and Christmas. Your mom can come by tomorrow night, then we can have our own holiday to ourselves. What do you think?”

There was a silence and Sam took a moment to lean out and look around, making sure that Richards wasn’t creeping up on him. His work phone was ringing now with two calls on hold. He really needed to get back to work.

“It sounds nice Sam. See you tonight?”

“Yep. Bye for now, babe.”

He put his phone away, then opened up his line 1: ““Hello, my name is Sam Wesson, and how can I help you today?”

Sam woke up from a new nightmare. This time, he and a guy who was routinely in his dreams but whom Sam had never met in real life, had been hunting/been hunted by some kind of monster in the woods--something with long claws that moved way too fast and ate people.

He shook off the remaining oddness, trying to figure out what had woken him, when he heard a noise from the living room of the small apartment Y/N and he shared.

A glance at the glowing digits on the alarm clock made him realize it was probably just Y/N coming home, but he sat up and got out of bed anyway. Sam walked on softly across the room and through the door, searching for his girlfriend, hoping for a kiss to knock the memory of that nightmare away and ground him in reality again.

He found her in her favorite chair in the living room, staring at the little Christmas tree he’d put up that evening.

Sam had decorated the place festively but logically he thought--there were lights around the railing posts outside the door, a wreath and bow hanging on the door, and inside, a tree.

Well, part of a tree.

He didn’t think they’d have the room, time for upkeep and clean up, or the need for a full size tree, so he’d found a suitable one in the woods behind the complex and had cut off the top foot and a half of the tree, snapping off the lower branches to make a “trunk” at the bottom, then stuck the whole thing in a large Christmas bowl with potting soil and watered it.

The whole thing fit on top of the radiator (in a fire-safety approved place of course), and after he’d strung a five foot length of white lights around in with a star on top, he’d congratulated himself on a job very well done and gone to bed.

But now Y/N was sitting there, staring at it with a look on her face that made him wonder if--

Then she just started crying.

“Y/N? Babe?”

He crouched down next to her chair, his eyes just below hers, or where hers would be if she hadn’t buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

What the hell? Had something happened on her girl’s night out? Had he done something wrong?

“Babe, what’s wrong?” His hands stroked her upper arms, his knees resting on the floor to better his balance as he tried to comfort her.

She sobbed again, but a hand gesture towards the tree gave him a hint.

“I’m so sorry, babe, I thought you’d like it. I can get rid of it, get you something better. Please don’t cry….”

He stood up, scooping her into his arms in the process then turning and sitting in her chair with her in his lap as Sam held her close to his chest.

“Please stop crying, babe, shhhh. Talk to me….”

He held as her sobs quieted, her nose runny and sniffly against his chest. His own heart was in his throat--he knew Y/N well enough to know this had to be about more than the stupid little tree.

A moment later she confirmed it, “it’s not just the tree, Sam.”

He waited, holding her tight, worried about what could be coming next.

“You’ve just been so… distant, lately. Nightmares, and hating your work, and silent and unhappy all the time. You’re not talking to me about what’s bothering you, and my mother’s coming, and my best friend’s getting married, and for all I know we’re going to break up because you’re not happy, andthetreeistoosmalland--”

Her words started to run together as her sniffles turned to crying again and Sam shook her a bit, trying to distract her, to get her to listen to him.

“Hey, hey, breathe, Y/N. Deep breath…” she took a half a gasp and he shook her a little, “better than that, come on, deep breath,” she filled her lungs, only one small sniffle interrupting her inhale, “okay, now breathe out…. Good.”

“Okay, first of all, I’m sorry I worried you.

“Yes, I’ve been out of it recently. I didn’t want to bother you with it--work is stressful, so much so that two guys on my floor committed suicide within a day or so of each other about a week ago.”

She looked up at him, her face so close to his where he was still cradling her frame. He placed a quick kiss to her cheek, wiping away a tear drop. Then another as he continued.

“And yes, I’ve been having weird nightmares lately. I don’t know what that’s about, but I didn’t want to worry you, so I kept it to myself. I’m sorry I’ve been hiding so much, but I need you to listen to me right now.”

He shifted her a bit so she was sitting more on his lap, her eyes closer to him as Sam looked at her seriously. He didn’t want her doubting his sincerity in this moment.

“My not being happy has nothing to do with you. In the weirdness of my life, the boredom of my job, the strangeness of my dreams, you, Y/N, you are the bright spot that keeps me going. You keep me together, make me happy--and I care way too much about you to let anything else get in between us, okay?”

She nodded a watery smile across her face. Sam kept eye contact with her for a moment longer, just to make sure she understood he meant every word, then he pulled her close for a kiss.

Her lips were a little salty from her tears, and he kept the kiss gentle, comforting, pouring his unspoken love into her in a way that his crappy words would never be able to show her.

When he ended the kiss, Sam pulled her into his chest again, hugging her as she sighed, seemingly over whatever had brought on the worried crying. He was thankful she wasn’t crying, even if he still didn’t fully understand what had brought on such a strong reaction.

Women were strange, wonderful creatures.

“Sam?”

Her mumble was low, but her mouth was close enough to his ear that he couldn’t miss it.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Tomorrow you’re going to go get me a better tree, okay?”

He leaned back and smiled at her, tear-stained, puffy-eyed, and swollen-lipped. Completely beautiful.

“Sure thing, babe. And I’ll text you a picture before it comes home with me, sound good.”

She nodded and snuggled back into his chest. Sam gladly held onto the one thing in his life that fit better than anything else.

“Merry Christmas, Sam.”

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

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[certifiedskywalker]

It’s Hard Enough - Cooper!Reader X Jughead Jones - Part 2

Loved the Jughead imagine you just posted! Idk if anon is going to request part two with Veronica but if they do I have a possible idea haha. So the Cooper's mom bombards the reader with more stress before school and she's totally out of it until Veronica pulls her aside, comforts her and helps her approach Betty. It goes well and there's a lot of crying between the two Cooper's, so Veronica decides they'll go to Pop's to cheer up. Jughead is there and the reader gets adorably flustered

I only have one thing to ask...Part three????

It was a few days after you talked to Jughead in Pop’s and things had been going pretty well. You often found yourself hanging out with Jughead during lunch in the library. He would show you his progress of his novel to which you would become amazed at his writing skills. He would also ask you about your family and how you were doing. You were always truthful with one another, you were open about your feelings and he shared his own troubles. Your friendship was blossoming before your very eyes. It was the accidental brush of fingers and the lingering looks that pulled you to him further. From what you could tell, it wasn’t one sided either. Just the fact he still wanted you around whenever he could was a good sign; but then your anxiety would get the better of you. Why would he, a smart and good-looking Sophomore, want to date you, a mediocre Freshman? That answer seemed to be lost in the deepest corners of your mind, because now things were bad again.

“I can’t have you being distracted by boys like Betty. Focus on your studies, join at least 3 clubs for your transcript, and go off to a good college. Any less than that would be a disappointment, now wouldn’t it?” Your mother’s voice echoed in your head from this morning. You were walking next to Betty, who had heard it all, at school. Flashes of this morning danced before your eyes; Mother yelling then you agreeing, Betty protesting, Mother screaming, then you and Betty crying. Your mother had said some things to say the least, and going to school right after that horror show wasn’t the best idea. You could still feel the stinging in your eyes and your sniffly nose fought against you when you and Betty told Veronica that “we’re fine.”

It didn’t help that you got a few texts from Jughead in the morning asking if you wanted to hangout at Pop’s after school. When you made it to 3rd Period, your Writing Class, you were already exhausted and wanted to be anywhere but there. You sat down in a random seat and started to pull out the notes from Friday when you saw a familiar figure out of the corner of your eye. “Y/N,” he started, “are you okay?” You turned in your seat to face him and saw that his blue eyes were full of worry. “Yeah, I’m good why?” You obviously were lying, and you knew Jughead noticed by the way his eyebrows furrowed. “You didn’t reply to my texts this morning,” he said, his voice hushed to not arouse suspicion. Luckily you were saved from having to talk to him any longer because the bell rang and your teacher started class. During the whole period, you could feel Jughead’s eyes on you. If it was under different circumstances, you might’ve enjoyed the attention, but right now all you wanted to do was escape. So when the bell rang you darted out of the classroom and walked as quickly as you could to the next class.

During lunch, you sat with Betty and her friends rather than Jughead. You just didn’t want to face him after that. The lunch period was rather uneventful; Archie seemed to be quiet and wouldn’t look at Betty, so it was Kevin and Veronica that carried the conversation. You were about to chime in when your phone buzzed against your leg. You pulled it out and saw it was a text notification from Jughead.

Jughead ;} : I won’t be able to be there for you if you don’t talk to me.

Jughead ;} : Whenever you want to see me, just text me, okay?

You didn’t have the chance to reply because the lunch bell rang. You and your sister barely made it through the rest of the day without breaking down. Veronica, being one of the greatest friends ever, noticed this and confronted the both of you after school.

“If you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong, that’s fine, but I’m taking you two out to Pops to hang out whether you like it or not.” Betty tried to protest but Veronica silenced her with a raised finger, “Aunt Ronnie is not letting anyone mope.” She drove you both to the diner, in an uncomfortable silence. When you all arrived, each one of you ordered a milkshake and found a secluded booth.

“So, what’s up?” Veronica asked as if nothing was wrong. Betty was about to answer with a cliche answer but you beat her to it. “Our mom hasn’t been the kindest woman to us lately.” You looked at Betty who merely nodded in agreement. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Veronica asked, her voice laced with concern. You shrugged and Betty didn’t say a word. “Well, you two can sleep over at my place whenever you need to, okay?” She asked, reaching her hands across the table to hold on of yours and one of Betty’s. “Thank you, Veronica.” Betty said, her blue eyes happy and clear for the first time that day. You nodded in agreement and then Veronica changed the subject to Archie. She and Betty talked it out and you found yourself looking out the window of the diner.

It was a nice day outside, unlike the last time you were here. The rain pattering against the window and enjoying Jughead’s company. Jughead; you felt a pit in your stomach at the thought of him. You had left him out of the loop, lied to him. You found your phone and was about to text him when you saw the notification.

Jughead ;} : Second booth nearest to the bathroom, if you want to sit.

You smiled softly at your phone. “Hey Betty I got to go to the bathroom.” Betty nodded and scooted out of the booth so you could get out. You walked past the main door and the little divider and saw him sitting there. He looked up and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards a little. You walked over and sat down next to him, your shoulders brushing his.

“I’m sorry about before.” You said and Jughead nodded. “I understand if you don’t what to see me Y/N, I’m not the friendliest of person but at least tell me.”

“Oh, that’s not why I,” you let out a quiet laugh, “I had a really bad morning and I didn’t well, I didn’t talk to anyone at school.”

“What happened?” He asked, and you were caught off guard by the kindness in his eyes. You proceeded to tell him what happen between you, your sister, and your mother in the morning. He listened to every word and it seemed he got closer each time you spoke. “Is there-” He started, but he stopped himself. He turned his eyes to the table, hand curled in fists on the stand. You rested your hand on his forearm, causing him to look back at you. “It’s okay, Jug. I’m going to be okay.” You didn’t know what it was exactly; the fact that his handle was suddenly holding yours or if it was the way he was looking at you, but you believed what you had said. As long as Jughead was around, you felt that you would be just fine. Suddenly, Jughead was closer, his eyes darting from your eyes to your lips.

“Can I?” He whispered and you felt a hot blush rise to your cheeks. Despite that, you found the bravery to answer him. “Y-yes.”

His lips were soft when they met yours. You fumbled a bit at first, this being your first kiss. Jughead didn’t seem to care, he only kissed you back harder. His hand cupped your neck and your hands found his jaw. He pulled away slowly, only to rest his forehead against yours. You were both catching your breaths, staring into each other’s eyes. You let out a winded laugh and so did he. “I’ll be better than okay.” You whispered and Jughead leaned in again, giving you a slower, sweeter kiss than before. Your hands pulled gently on his sweater, trying to bring him closer. If it wasn’t the pesky need to breath, you would probably never stop kissing him. You sensed Jughead felt the same way, judging how he brushed his nose against yours. It suddenly felt hot in the diner, and you were brought back to reality. You looked over and saw that Betty and Veronica were still talking, but you didn’t what to risk taking too long.

“I should go back, so they don’t suspect anything.” You whispered, but Jughead only kissed you in response. It was a quick peck, but it still left you wanting more. “Okay,” he whispered back, “text me if anything gets to be too much, yeah?” You gave him a soft smile and nodded. You reached your hand up, letting your fingertips brushing against his cheek. He closed his eyes at the touch, as if he was waiting for this moment for months. “I will.” You murmured as you slid out of the booth. You walked back to your sister and your friend, sitting down next to Veronica this time. “What did you do, fall in?” Veronica joked, and Betty laughed. A grin crept onto your features and you looked up and saw Jughead leaving the diner. He gave you a look, that no one else saw, and left. “Yeah,” you said with a smile, “I fell in.”

[perksofhs]

‘Baby you know I love you right?’

Hi lovelies! Here is my first request piece! I’m adding it to “The Words You Speak” series because I think it fits well!

He’d started feeling ill a few days before Christmas Eve, a sniffly nose, sore throat, hot and cold sweats and a fever leading to the conclusion that he had in fact come down with a rather bad flu. He was nuzzled under a mound of blankets that every couple of hours would be thrown off at the onset of a hot sweat even though he knew he’d be freezing in about 10 minutes and have to pull them all back up. He was surrounded by an ever growing number of used tissues and half empty cold and flu medicine packets. You’d been there the whole time insisting that you loved being the care taker for him like he’d done multiple times for you in the 10 months you’d been together. And it was true, plus he was cute when he was sick, he was super cuddly, wanting nothing but you to be next to him holding him close. You knew getting sick yourself was inevitable but you really couldn’t care less, he needed you and you relished in it.

“Baby you need to eat more than that, two spoonfuls isn’t enough” you said, trying to get him to have at least another few mouthfuls of the soup you had prepared but he refused like a stubborn child. “C’mon its pumpkin, your favourite, please baby have some more, I promise it will make you feel better” he huffed and cautiously pushed himself up into a sitting position “Hm fine i’ll have some more, but only because I love you”. “I love you too, plus you want to be better for Christmas Day, being sick on Christmas is the worst. Eat up buttercup! I’m going to duck to the shop and grab a few things to finish out the Christmas shopping before it gets crazy over the next few days. That better be gone when I get back” you said giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “Ok, can you get me some more tissues and cough drops? My throat is still killing me” he said with a pout “Ok baby I’ll add them to the list, I’ll be back in an hour or so, don’t forget to drink water, and take another cold and flu, the last one will be starting to wear off soon an-” “I think I can handle it babe, just go!” Harry laughed, urging you to get out the door. “Fine! Fine! I’m going! Love you baby” you responded, grabbing your keys and twirling your scarf around your neck before opening the door and bracing the brisk December air.  

You’d come home about 2 hours later, trudging inside struggling slightly with the 6 bags of last minute Christmas supplies and a few gifts. You walked down the hallway, dropping the bags on the kitchen island with thud. “Baby how are you feeling? Did you take your cold and flu?” you said, walking into the lounge only to be met with a very asleep Harry, cuddled deep into his blanket nest, messy curls stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead. You placed a soft kiss on his forehead before puling the blankets up slightly, doing your best to gently tuck him in. The room was a mess so you grabbed a spare plastic bag and started tidying the mess. Amongst the tissues, medicine and cough drop wrappers strewn across the coffee table was his leather bound journal, wide open with the a pen resting in the the middle of the two papers. As you reached across to grab the rubbish that surrounded it, you couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of what was freshly written in the journal. What you read made your heart sink, “I really do love her, please don’t let this be another failed relationship where the love is only from one side again. I don’t think I could handle another broken heart at Christmas. I need her to love me too”. It took you a moment to process those words. Why would he ever think that you weren’t truly in love with him? When he’d said ‘I love you’ you’d said it right back, tears in your eyes, no hesitation or questioning whether you loved him back because it was so obvious that you did. You knew his last couple of relationships didn’t end well but you had no idea that his heart had been broken once or maybe twice at what was meant to be the most magical time of the year.

The sound of Harry starting to stir awake snapped you out of your thoughts, quickly swiping the last few tissues into the bag, flipping the journal closed as if you’d read nothing. Although you couldn’t hide the sadness in your face, the fact that you were on the verge of tears was all too evident. “Mmm baby you’re back” Harry mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Yep, got everything done, all ready for Christmas day now.” you tried to brush off what you’d just found out but your voice was every so slightly wavering. “Babe are you ok? you sound sad” He said, reaching out to grab your free hand, stopping you from trying to walk away. A tear slid down your cheek at his words, you frantically tried to wipe it away and brush it off “Yeah yeah I’m fine” you assured but he wasn’t that stupid. “No you’re not, what happened? Did something happen while you were out? Are you hurt?” he worried about you going out by yourself now that your relationship was known to the world. Your features softened, you debated with yourself on whether to mention what you’d just read, on one hand it’s a massive invasion of privacy and it was obviously not meant for your eyes to see but you also needed him to understand that you were committed, fully, to this relationship, to him. “Baby you know I love you right? No ifs ands or buts, I really truly love you” you said, finalising your decision, not answering the questions he’d posed. For a moment he looked completely confused, the sudden profession of your love for him taking him by surprise but then it clicked and his eyes flicked across to his journal.

His expression changed to one of guilt. “Did I do something that made you question it? Do I not show it enough? I don’t know what else I can do!” you said, kneeling down to his level, taking his hands into yours, him gripping them tighter than he ever had. “No baby its nothing you did, I’ve just had so many failed relationships that I can’t turn my brain off when it starts questioning things. You know it was around Christmas two years ago that my last proper relationship broke down?” He was nearly crying, his already red eyes welling up. You knew his last girlfriend was a piece of work but you never imagined she’d be that heartless, especially at Christmas. “Harry I had no idea” you said, placing your hands on his cheeks, lifting his tired sad eyes to meet your similarly watery ones “I can promise you though, right here right now, that that will never happen with me. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Not only have you added to my life in the most positive way but you have changed me for the better. You helped me realise my worth. You are the most kind, most genuine, most loving partner I have ever have and ever intend on having because you are my end zone Harry. There is no doubt in my mind that you are my person and you shouldn’t have any doubt either. I love you H, and I will forever.” The tears were rolling down his cheeks, as they were yours, a watery smile on his lips. You pulled in him, placing your lips ever so gently on his, solidifying the words that you’d just said. His hands rose to your cheeks, wiping away your tears. “Thank you” is all he could manage to say. “Thank you for what?” you enquired, puzzled by his response. “Thank you for loving me, for loving me entirely. I love you so much” he said before pulling you up into the warmest hug. You smiled, finally content with him knowing that there was never a need to be insecure, you loved him and he loved you and that was that.

You pulled away from the hug, sniffing back the rest of the tears “Ok now that we’ve got that all sorted, have you taken your cold and flu? You’re feeling a little warm” he couldn’t help but chuckle at you getting straight back into carer mode. “I did take them and I ate all of my soup I promise, all I want right now is for you to stay here with me, I need a proper cuddle.” You laughed, happily obliging, plopping yourself down next to him, his arms wrapping themselves securely around your waist with yours around his neck “I love you baby” you said, pecking a kiss to his slightly sweaty neck “I love you too baby, so much” he said, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before closing his eyes contently asking himself what he ever did to deserve any of this.

Ok lovelies I’m sorry this took me literally two weeks to get this done! Christmas and New Years was a bit of a whirlwind at my house! This yet another instalment of the ‘The Words You Speak’ series! If you want to read any more of my writings you can find them here! Also if there is anything you want me to write requests are open here! ope everyone had a lovely festive season and fun New Year! xxx