#𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

[starbuckie]

𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

pairing: college!chris beck x reader

words: 3.1k words

warnings: literally a pinch of angst and the rest is all goody holiday fluff. also i need a hug from chris beck. right now.

summary: for the first time in twenty years yn is not spending christmas with her best friend and boyfriend. what’s a girl to do without him?

a/n: i miss him so much. also i realize i’ve been writing so much college!chris stuff, i promise i’ll be getting into older, mid-thirties chris very very soon because i miss old man dick xoxo. jk, but i seriously have somne great ideas for sexy space daddy. anyways, i hope you all are having a wonderful lead up to the holidays, and stay slutty and sexy <3 (also please send me winter concepts, i need more)

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Bzz.

Y/N’s head shot up from her desk, feet failing to move her across the room gracefully as she reached for her phone from where she forced it down on her bed. Had it been any closer she would’ve texted Chris much earlier and then neither of them would get anything done. She’d been studying for her biology exam for, what, two hours now? The time on her phone showed that it was eleven at night, but what perplexed her more was the text she had from her boyfriend back in Connecticut. It must’ve been at least two in the morning and Y/N knew better than anyone else that if he did not get the right amount of sleep he would be a complete grouch for the entire day. 

can i pretty please call u?

Aaaaaand distraction began. Her heartbeat quickened just the littlest bit, giddy at the thought of seeing Chris, even if it was just for a few minutes. She quickly clicked his contact and listened to the ringing phone with a smile. 

“Hey, honey.” 

Nothing was more soothing than Chris’ sleepy voice. It was deep and guttural and quiet and she could remember nights with his hands tracing her skin, reading his textbook aloud to her in the same way. It was no different as his pretty blue eyes popped onto the screen, tucked up to right under his chin. His nose and cheeks were flushed and rosy, and given the East Coast winter it made sense. She could imagine how he looked under the covers, wrapped up in his signature NASA sweatshirt and his fuzzy socks with little stars that she’d gotten him for his birthday the year before.

She grinned when he saw her, snaking a hand out of the blanket to wave cutely. Propping her phone against the pillow, she began to talk. “Hi, babylove. Why are you up so late? Your first class is at nine,” she mentioned with a small smile. 

He sighed with a tiny frown, which really just tied off the whole sleepy teddy bear look he was rocking. “Well I was finishing up a lab report when my parents called me with some not so great news.”

“Oh,” her brows furrowed and she readjusted herself. She knew his mother hadn't been holding up the greatest with the cold Amy had brought in from the hoards in highschool a few weeks back, and it seemed as if she still wasn’t better. Y/N loved Mrs. Beck like she loved her own mother and the news fractured her heart just a bit more in preparation for the news Chris was about to share. “Is it about your mom?” 

“No, thank god, my mom’s alright, just a little sniffly,” he breathed out quickly and his girlfriend sighed in relief. “It’s just that with my dad’s new interview and my mom being sick, we’re not going to be able to fly down for Christmas. I know we had the plan to, every year we’d switch, but this year just isn’t working out for my parents.”

“Oh.” That one word wasn’t enough to describe the heavy, sinking pit in her chest but Y/N prayed and hoped that Chris couldn’t feel the disappointment and sadness radiating off her through the phone. When she had made the choice to attend UCLA, she knew what she was getting into. Long distance relationship, long distance calls, no hugs or kisses, and the underlying feeling of sickness when she even so much as thought about him in someone else’s arms. It just happened that her parents decided that a move to California was in order as well, so there wasn’t any chance of even going back to Hartford to visit them. That’s what one gets when they decide to study marine biology in Los Angeles. “That’s okay, Chris, we’ll call each other on Christmas, right? And we still have the lake trip in April, so just four more months to go.”

The couple laughed somewhat fakely, both of them knowing that this would be quite a hit to their relationship. Maybe it was Y/N’s fear of growing overly clingy to her boyfriend and chasing him into the arms of another girl at Yale, or maybe it was her sadness over the fact that they wouldn’t be together for Christmas for the first time in twenty years. They were best friends before they were lovers, and that had sped up their relationship quite a bit, but was it too fast? Senior year of high school had been a blast, a whole year full of college applications and hurried kisses and fumbled first times in bedrooms, but now that they were apart she wasn’t sure where they stood. 

“Y/N, starshine, are you frozen?” She looked up from the oh-so interesting sheets of her bed back to her phone, where a pair of pretty blue eyes were close up to the camera, confusedly staring through the screen. “I can’t tell if you’re frozen or if I am, honey, I think my RA may have screwed with our wifi again.”

“Don’t worry, Chris, I can see you.” Y/N chuckled. Leave it to him to break her out of a sour mood. Yet as cute as he was, she still felt a prickle of tired sadness poke into her heart. They both let out forced smiles, finding nothing to do but stare at each other through their phones. God, when did it get to this? She couldn’t tell how long they’d been so awkward around each other or if it was because of their given circumstances. 

Chris checked the time and let out a yawn, his eyes filling with exhausted tears. 

“I think I have to duck out soon, honey, it’s getting pretty late.” Y/N nodded a bit too quickly to his every word, placing her hand on the side of the phone and imagined that she could feel the smooth-shaven skin of Chris’ cheek under palm rather than the plastic phone case. “‘Course, babylove, you need your rest. Lord knows how much of a Grinch you are if you don’t get all eight hours of sleep.”

He smiled, his thumb hovering over the red button. “Alright, starshine, I’m gonna head off now. I love you.”

“Love you…” the call ended, only her melancholy expression staring back at her, reflecting all of the guilt and weight settled on her chest reflecting on a mirrored phone screen, “too.”

Eyes watering with burnout, Y/N held back a good, long cry and went to her small dorm room counter to make herself some chamomile tea, an empty dorm and hours of squinting at a textbook ahead of her. 

December 14. Eleven days until Christmas, one hundred and sixteen until she had Chris in her arms again.

-

“Yes, mom, I swear I put the ham in for two hours, it’s gonna be fine.” Y/N bustled around the kitchen in a hurry, sweatshirt covered in soup from an accident on the stove and hands aching and cut from cutting carrots a bit too fast. She could feel her shirt sticking to her back from the sheer amount of sweat she was producing. She felt disgusted with herself. 

Los Angeles was much warmer compared to the East Coast, year round, and of course Christmas Eve was no exception. Even after two years of college in the West, Y/N and her family still were not accepting nor had adapted to the heat change. Along with the heart of every kitchen appliance at work in the room, she was sweltering and wanted nothing more than to feel the freezing, harsh snow of Connecticut winters again. Her dad stirred together a dressing for the salad as her mom set the table with eight placemats, and she, ever the lovely daughter, had put to task with everything else. “Mom, I still don’t get why we need eight settings if it’s just the three of us this year.”

Her mom hesitated before placing down the fork in her hand, her eyes meeting her dad’s for the briefest of seconds before looking away once more. “It just looks nicer, hun, we have eight chairs at the table so it’d just look… awkward if we only had three place settings.”

The older woman came into the kitchen and cradled Y/N’s face, wiping flour from her eyebrow. “Dear Lord, you look a mess right now, Y/N.” The younger girl mumbled a sarcastic comment under her breath and her mother rolled her eyes. “Go take a shower and get dressed, your father and I will take care of the rest of dinner.”

Y/N’s eyebrows raised in surprise. Never had she or Chris been allowed to step a foot outside the kitchen until Christmas Eve dinner was done but she supposed her parents were taking pity on her for the absence of her aspiring doctor boyfriend. With a sigh she nodded, placed a gentle kiss on her mom’s cheek, and ran up the stairs to take a well deserved shower. 

The water was painfully hot when it hit her but she didn’t care anymore. Even with the outbreak of heat against her skin, she found that it soothed her about Christmas better than either of her parents’ words did. Christmas tree farm, cider-making, gift wrapping- all her thoughts led back to Christopher Beck and her heart squeezed brokenly with each task she accomplished lonely. 

Once she was done berating herself in the shower, she stepped out, accepting the cool air that greeted her. Granted it wasn’t really cool, but it seemed that way after her steam-filled bath. With a clean body and nice-smelling hair for a change, she walked back into her room to choose an outfit. She’d normally dress nicely, a pretty dress or skirt that complimented her well, but she felt no effort being put towards the holiday this year. 

Instead she opted for jeans and her favorite cream sweater, nice enough for Christmas but not breaking her barrier of crippling sadness and reality. The wool material felt like another warm hug enveloping her arms, replacing the arms of the boy she loved across the county. God, he was all she could think about even miles away. How she had made it through finals was beyond her own knowledge.��

Ella Fitzgerald started playing from the record player from the living room downstairs, and Y/N let herself close her eyes and remember Chris’ hands on her waist the year before as they danced to the same vinyl. She hummed softly bringing her own arms to wrap around herself, slowly swaying around her room to the gentle beat as she looked around her bedroom.

Since the family had moved to California, she hadn’t actually spent much time in her new room, but what she had achieved was some semblance of her old childhood room in Connecticut, starting off with polaroids and glossy photos of the life lived back there as well. But the one that was most appealing to her was the one on the day of her and Chris’ highschool graduation, with his arm slung around her waist so boyishly and his face nuzzled in her hair. He looked so sweet with his round glasses perched on his nose and his little khaki get-up, his frame towering over hers and feeling protective. 

And the dress she wore, she still had it hung up in her closet. It was a simple white dress. It had fit her like a glove then, hugging her body in all the most appealing places, a satin baby-blue bow running across her waist. In the framed photo she saw her younger self accompany her outfit with a dainty silver necklace with her birthstone as a pendant, a birthday gift from Chris in middle school that still laid snug against her skin under the sweater, sat just in the center of her collarbones to bring in the sweetheart look she was pulling off. She also remembered how much her loverboy had liked that dress, taking every chance to expel his love for it and for her for that whole, perfect day.

Though it had only been a few years since their highschool graduation, she could already feel the memories of those years slipping through her fingers. Time truly slowed when Chris wasn’t around, but all of a sudden it seemed to pass all too quickly as she watched their life in pictures. 

“That was the day our parents finally let us go off on the New York trip by ourselves right, right?” Y/N jumped nearly ten feet in the air, catching her breath just before sharply turning to meet the intruder at her front door.

But it wasn’t an intruder. No, instead she was met with a six foot tall man with fluffy chestnut hair and gorgeous baby blues. He wore a pristine white dress shirt tucked into black pants, a huge smile etched onto his face, and held up two wrapped rectangles that she knew were more astronomy books for her to read. And she knew it all so well because it was Chris. Her Chris. And he was finally home for the holidays.

“You look like an angel, honey.” The woman couldn’t respond, too caught up in the wonder of him being in her room, standing and acting like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

Chris’ smile grew wider at her lack of response, knowing he’d tease her for her slack jaw and wide, adoring eyes later, and stuck out his arms, invitingly warm, just for her. “Well, starshine, aren’t you gonna say anything?”

He’d soon take back his words, as Y/N chose to speak with actions rather than his loved words. Her heart filled with overwhelming joy and her held back tears finally spilled over, racing down her face in celebration of a return. Running across the floors at full speed, she hit Chris like a freight train, plowing straight into him and burying her face into his chest. “You’re here.” Her voice came out muffled through the fabric of his shirt, “You came back to me.”

He pulled her back from his chest, not wasting a second in feeling her soft lips on his chapped ones. He savored the taste of her, like cinnamon and cloves from the gingerbread she had probably snuck while cooking downstairs, and he groaned when she returned the kiss with as much fervor. Her tongue slipped past his lips as her arms drew his neck into her. Yet Y/N couldn’t help the smile that fought against her mouth, so she pressed it against his equally wide one. And, oh god, how she had missed those lips. Pillowy and soft with just the right amount of pressure, calloused hands cradling her face in the gentlest of ways. 

Even after they had both gasped for air, he continued to steal quick kisses from her as he spoke. “Had to,” kiss, “come back,” kiss, “to you, honey.” Kiss. “Did you think I was just gonna leave you all alone on Christmas? Haven’t spent this day apart in-”

“Twenty years,” Her final peck broke apart their embrace, her eyes now focused on the rough stubble that covered his chin. “This is new.”

Her hands scraped over the once-smooth skin, and she didn't deny the feel of it. It was nice. His eyes turned almost sinister then, darkening with every word he spoke. “Well, I was thinking about how much you used to like it and thought it would be a nice surprise.”

His insinuating eyes were no secret to his girlfriend and she smacked his chest with a gentle laugh before pulling him down to her, nose to nose. “Oh, trust me, hun, it’s more than welcome.”

“Ew!” Amy Beck stood in the doorway, dressed in a red sweater and a white jean skirt, her childish, blue eyes filled with disgust. At the gleaming age of seventeen, she held her phone in hand and a mug of cocoa in the other, pointing it at Chris in disgusted shock. “I do not need to hear that the reason you decided to grow your gross hobo beard out is because you were planning on being a pervert. Mom raised you better than that, big brother.” She glared at her sibling with knives as slits in her eyes, before turning to one of the women she had admired most growing up with a just as adoring smile. “It’s great to see you, Y/N, come down to eat whenever you’re ready.”

The seventeen-year old girl murmured continuously as she left Y/N’s room, her stomping footsteps shaking the house. Chris and Y/N stood in the room, completely still and caught up in embarrassment before she started laughing, trying to stifle the sounds of her joy against her boyfriend’s shoulder. Her laughter egged on his own and though his face was flushed completely red, he managed to fumble out an apology to his girlfriend.

“I think you just scarred poor Ames for life, she’s never gonna look at you the same way,” the woman grinned.

“Nah,” he brushed it off, even with his fully blushing face, “she’s just surprised and in awe that I actually get some.”

He sighed with a fond smile, and pecked her on the lips one more time, just trying to hold on the feeling of her lips against his before he had to leave again, but he didn’t want to think about that. He had a full-on week with his love. He could work with a week.

Y/N’s genuine smile was never ending as she wrapped her arms around her idiot-but-also-genius-of-a-boyfriend’s waist. All of her stress, all of her worries and everything else within miles dissipated in that moment, because nothing else was more important than Chris being in her hold again. She didn’t even think about how he was here. Was his mom okay? Did his dad book the job? Did he plane over himself? 

But it was not a time for questions. Just long-awaited love.

“It’s good to have you home, babylove.”

Home. Shouldn’t have come as a surprise, after all his heart would always follow hers even if there was an entire galaxy separating the two. It may have not been everlasting, this moment, but they’d be damned if they didn’t savor every second they had together. 

“It’s good to be home for the holidays, starshine.”