#woke rules

[macsopinion]

Edmonton Gay Bar Opening Its Doors To Children - A Hot New Family-Friendly Destination — NOT!

Edmonton’s Latest Family Outing: Drag Queens and Juice Boxes Well, folks, pack up the minivan and grab the kiddos’ sippy cups because Edmonton’s got a hot new family-friendly destination! Evolution Wonderlounge, the city’s only year-round gay dance bar, has decided that its spring expansion is the perfect time to roll out the rainbow carpet for… wait for it… children. Yes, children. You heard…

[opiopal]

I had the stupidest thought ever the moment I woke up, hear me out, OM au where everything’s the same, but the brothers call mc “human” because they didn’t catch their name when dia said it the first time and they’ve been too embarrassed to ask, and when mc finally realizes they don’t tell them but instead prolong the learning of their name,

imagine, everyone’s eating breakfast, they all just got back from the retreat the other day and a few pacts have already been made, breakfast feels a little tense at least between Luci and mc, however it’s silent. mc is just sitting calmly, ignoring luci glaring daggers at them, trying to remember what they need to do at RAD today, “I need to stop by the student council room and grab my note book… then i need to pick up a copy of the history assignment, and then go and turn in that potions essay- which I still need to put my…. Name…. On.” they pause their thoughts for a moment as their brows furrow, suddenly they look up from the plate and around the table,

Mc: do you guys know my name?

If the silence could get silent it did. But those who mc didn’t have a pact with looked annoyed but… glance away? The others avoid eye contact and their cheeks redden, mc raises a brow,

Mc: seriously guys? I’ve been here for how many months now?

mam: I- HEY- of course we know your name!

Mc: are you sure? Cause I’ve heard you guys call me anything but-

They pause as they go to say their name, watching everyone perk up slightly as they were getting ready to. Then they get an idea and go back to eating calmly,

luci, clearing his throat: you were saying?

Mc: hm? No I wasn’t saying,

luci: are… you sure?

Mc: yup! Since you guys are confident, I guess I shouldn’t have even brought it up!

for the next month or two mc avoids any information they could give the brothers that would hint at their name, they even get the others to just call them random nicknames instead of their actual name just to mess with them all. All the brothers are dying of embarrassment while mc thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world.

[bisexual-engineer-guy]

Poker woke update: straight is now called a gay and it beats a flush

[visenyaism]

Hi, love your blog! Do you have any thoughts on why the Targaryens never again used the name Alysanne?

So this is about to be entirely conjecture. I always thought Alysanne was a Westerosi name (in the exact same vein that I think her mother Alyssa’s was) that Aly got sort of as an aspect of Aenys’ like “see we can be normal” project that Jaehaerys also picks up throughout his reign. I don’t think it gets used again because after the Dance, all the dragons, which were their sole remaining connection to Valyria, are dead and gone. All they have left to hold on to that exceptionalism and that identity are their Valyrian names so no one‘s getting a Westerosi name like Alysanne again.

[loucifersbitch]

the very first rule of rpf is YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT RPF TO THE RP'S BEING F'D!!!! ffs. have you no shame? are you not embarrassed? do you enjoy making people uncomfortable? people who - by the way - are doing their fucking JOBS. jfc. grow up, learn some decency and tact, and most importantly, stop stalking

ship responsibly

[ahollowgrave]

My birthday is next week (Oct 9th) and if I asked everyone to take thirst screens of their OCs as a gift for me.............. Would you?

[beastomato]

going west

[pact-in-progress]

Reapers don’t place too much importance on marriage. To them, it’s another part of the human cycle. A means to unite two souls and often spark the birth of new ones. Although, in the more recent century, it’s a more personal vow to share one another’s days and trust one another to stay until the day their candles burn out. Demons, on the other hand, use it as a symbol of power, a declaration that their legacy will remain for many more centuries. To keep up nobility and heritage, prove their demon blood strong enough to remain in power.

And that’s currently the topic you’re rambling about. Going on about a wedding ceremony you attended, it was an invitation from a family friend the other day, “the arch full of flowers was beautiful… I’m pretty sure they were peonies” you went on recalling details of the venue. So if she made a trap that’d explode into flowers would that impress you? No, that’d look like some wizard trick, something that ridiculous sorcerer would pull off, she’d have to do better. But it was noted— flowers, peonies specifically. Recently, Thirteen found learning even the smallest things about you compelling. She’d made a hobby out of it. While she was also interested in your big guarded secrets, she found every single detail about you mesmerising to learn, even the small, mundane ones. Every piece that contributed to your shining soul, every detail, every experience, she wanted to know it all, after all.

You, meanwhile, were taking full advantage of today’s “Thirteen Time” as you liked to call it, one of the rare moments where you’d actually catch Thirteen at RAD while you were free. You were grateful the subjects which were bound to be more hectic and cause later problems would take place after break. Except, not even half a day has passed yet and you were already waiting to pack up to go home.

Which is why you were glad, currently sitting under trees you and Thirteen were sat on a bench, away from the overcrowded cafeteria. Thirteen was enjoying a box of sweets she’d gracefully accepted from you which you’d handed her as a gift from the wedding venue given to all the guests. You wondered if reapers really didn’t have any dietary repercussions with her preference for anything sweet in snacks or dessert. Catching Thirteen up on all your day-to-day shenanigans, or simply events like this one, felt like you could let go of responsibility a little, although… you wished she were also involved with your day-to-day life more. Well, she was, but under the burden of work whether it was council, RAD or sorcerer training it's hard to see someone when you don't live with them. Live… living together would be nice. Although it wouldn’t work out. Thirteen liked her own space, although she also considered you as her own space.

“Hellooo? Otherworld to MC?” Thirteen called you out of your thoughts and you blink, refocusing your gaze.

She was pouting, clearly offended you’d decided to opt out mid conversation. Perhaps if you’d let her know your thoughts were still focusing on her, she’d feel more forgiving, give you a teasing comment and move on. Except you haven’t felt like you broke out of your own thoughts completely yet. You were aware, but mind still slightly clouded, or was hazy the right word? You glanced over at the flowers planted behind the tree. They looked familiar, like pom poms from a further distance. Are they similar to or the Devildom equivalent of peonies? I wonder…

“What kind of flowers would we get at a wedding?” You thought— out… loud. Suddenly reality hit you and you were overcome with a sense of having to justify yourself in the moment. “I… meant since we were on the topic of wedding but my actual question was what’s your— our aesthetic decoration sense!”

Thirteen blinked at you. “A wedding? Would we really need one?”

Ah. Right. As a reaper, maybe she’s never thought the concept applies to her… The need to justify yourself still lingered. “Well— I mean, it’s just a human thing so it’s fun to think about…”

Thirteen's expression seemed unimpressed for a moment.

“Hm, well aren’t they a hassle? A celebration thrown for others to enjoy themselves while the ones standing make promises they hope to keep. Promises are nothing if you have to shout them in front of a crowd to make them real.”

You blinked. Maybe the sharpness of her words caught you off guard. After all… you did hope to, well… maybe it was because she swept aside something you found kind of… beautiful. Your gaze dropped to your hands, fingers curling slightly in your lap. Maybe it really was just a human thing. But still…

“I don’t think the vows are a performance… well at least the ones I’ve gone to, the vows seem to be genuine and you’re supposed to see no one else but each other… a promise you’ll stay with each other. No matter what. It seems really nice. Or at least that’s what I think.”

Thirteen was quiet for a second. Then she looked at you, thoughtfully. And her expression changed, still focused on you but with a layer of excitement.

“Well, if the human tradition is making vows, wouldn’t you say we’ve already accomplished better? After all”, she went on, leaning towards you with a smile. “you’ve promised your soul to me, an oath not even death will achieve doing us apart” She was practically gleaming and pleased at mentioning so, you could tell, even without her leaning into you smiling with accomplishment as if she’d hit the jackpot— which she absolutely did consider with you— she always brightened at the mention of your soul.

As the words settled in your chest, your heart blossomed, and you felt your heart lift and reach for her, leaning in to kiss her.

A vow that’d last for eternity. A promise to be bound together, as long as time lasts.

Eternally yours.

And maybe, Thirteen thought, she wouldn’t mind playing along with the idea of a marriage after all, not if it was with you. You’re her only exception, of course.

[jadewritesficshere]

Would you rather

Eddie Munson x Reader

Synopsis: Eddie asks you a question late in the night (<1k words)

Contains: reader is not gendered, hypothetical questions, discussions of sex and oral sex (there is a reference to messy sex, specifically spit, but only one line and not in detail), clowns

18+only

You're laying on your side staring at the wall when his voice pierces the quiet. "Are you awake?" Eddie whispers in the dark. It's almost 2am. The last remnants of weed in your system should have made it easy to fall asleep, but not tonight. You roll onto your back and look over at him," Yeah?"

Eddie shuffles in the bed closer to you," Got a question." Eddie's hand lightly touches your arm, taps it a few times as if to make sure you were there, before retreating. His hand lays next to you, close enough you can feel the warmth. "It's pretty serious." He mumbles.

You can feel your heart beat faster. A pretty serious question could mean anything. Maybe it's about the Upside Down, maybe about your future togeth-

"Would you rather be considered the world's best kisser but be terrible at sex, or be the best at sex but a terrible kisser?"

You pause for a moment.

"That's your question?" You shake your head smiling. The bed shifts as Eddie presses his face into his pillow as if to hide," Nevermind, it's dum-" "It's not dumb! I'm just thinking." Your hand grasps his, squeezing it lightly. "Do i have time to make a pros and cons list?"

"Gut instinct." Eddie pokes at your side and you slap his hand away. "Clarification, does oral count as sex or kissing?" "Hmm," Eddie's brow furrows," I mean it's called oral sex right? So that implies sex."

"Oh then a terrible kisser and good at sex. Good for you and me right? Besides, what's a terrible kiss? A lil messy? You like that-" "Okay shut up!" Eddie slaps you with his pillow causing you to chuckle. Eddie shakes his head before returning his pillow to where it was.

"Now you get to ask one." Eddie's fingers tap out a rhythm against your interlocked hand. You hum, thinking deeply,"Would you love me if I was a worm?" "Thats not a would you rather!" "Okay, would you love me if I was a worm rather then a human."

"That's not- that isn't," Eddie laughs," Okay sure, uh, are you a human sized worm or a regular worm?" "Worm sized." "Do you keep your ass?" You both giggle at the imagery.

"Imagine a worm with just a huge ass," you gasp out," Do worms even have asses?" You both continue to giggle quietly, the bed shaking slightly from your laughter.

"Yeah. I would still love you. I just wake up one day and you've turned into a worm? No, yeah of course I'd still love you. Then I'd go and find the witch that cursed you. I'd galavant through the trees, singing songs of your beauty and our love. Once I find the witch, I'd fall to my knees and beg for them to turn you back." Eddie rambles on, weaving a magical tale of adventure.

"Where am I in all this?" You ask kicking his shin lightly. Eddie traps your leg in his," In my pocket. I'll knit you a little blanket. Wrap it around you. Make you a lil bed and-" You gasp," Like Slimey?" "Like Slimey." Eddie agrees shifting closer to you.

Your eyes have adjusted well to the darkness. You can see his hair going every direction. His lips are slightly chapped but still kissable. His tank top has shifted, showing off a scandalous amount of skin, tattoos, sparse chest hair, and his nipple.

"Would you rather fuck a clown or a mime?" Eddie whispers. "I already fuck a clown i fuck you." You bite your lip to hold back your laughter

Eddie's shocked gasp has you that laughter escaping. "That's it! We're done!" Eddie jokingly pushes away from you as you protest with an "I'm kidding!".

You scoot closer, grasping onto his bicep. You kiss his cheek and continue to murmur apologies. Eddie sighs loudly as he wraps his arms around you. "Calling me a clown," Eddie makes a noise of disgust whilst shaking his head.

Your laughter settles as you gaze into Eddie's eyes. Your noses are almost touching. You can feel the warm exhale of his breath against your face. Eddie kisses you lightly before looking imploringly into your eyes," No, but which would you rather fuck?"

You pause a moment to think. A grin starts to spread across your face," All I can imagine is you go to grab a clown's ass and it just makes one of those squeaky horn noises." Eddie giggles and then mimicks the noise, lightly grabbing your ass.

For whatever reason, it sets you both off laughing. Maybe it's the imagery. Maybe it's the fact that it's 2 am and you both are sleep deprived. Maybe it's the fact you both feel safe and comfortable to be yourself around each other. Maybe it's the leftover weed in your systems.

"Imagine-" Eddie wheezes on a laugh," you go to remove the underwear and as you remove it- wheeze- more just keeps coming. Like those handkerchiefs that never end." The laughter in the room grows louder.

You can feel Eddie's body shake with laughter as he holds you close. Your eyes well up with tears as you imagine Eddie doing a sexy lil dance, removing a pair of underwear from under his skirt, and more keep coming as he said.

A banging on the door causes you both to jump. "Will you two shut up, some of us are trying to sleep!" Steve's grumpy, sleep-addled voice breaks through the silence. "Sorry!" Eddie calls bashful. "Waking me up...got an early shift...need my beauty sleep..fucking fools..." Steve mutters, footsteps sounding as he walks away.

"I think he means fucking clowns." You whisper in Eddie's ear. A fit of giggles fills the air again as you lay in each other's arms.

[vnknownmc]

Im not immune to the bird headcanons

Asmo used to take care of her hair primary for awhile until mammon booted him out and took over because it makes the part of his brain that views it as preening happy

[brentunderjaw]

Really Important gifs

[doux-amer]

[moliathh]

hate to pop bubbles but i dont think Integra remaining a virgin til the end was because Hirano Kohtah is so progressive he made his main character an ace rep 😭🤐 like we have to confront the very uncomfortable aspect of Hellsing which is the "only virgins can be vampires" rule and how it only applies to Integra and Seras, the two characters that could be seen as "good sided" characters. It was kinda giving serious Madonna-whore complex I am not kidding. Me personally i find that rule ridiculous as hell and as far as i am aware of, Hellsing is the only vampire media with that fuck ass rule. Like come on now virginity especially one imposed by religious institutions is one of the most oppressive and damaging concept to feminism. I mention this because I don't think it's a fair evidence to use to prove Integra is canonically implied to be asexual. On the contrary, given her upbringings, it could be seen as an oppression as we are not fully aware whether she abide by the oath willingly or not. It was instilled in her from young age of course she still thinks it is "her duty to remain chaste until marriage". That is an absurd rule. People should be allowed to choose for their own sexual experience and exploration safely. She is canonically groomed into these so called "duty" and "responsible". She is however heavily implied to be within the ace spectrum from my perspective. She was not shown to have expressed attraction towards anyone she wasn't familiar or already had a close connection with, which overlaps with demisexual experience. That is purely my headcanon. It's unfair to shove your headcanon on other people.

[frerrari]

yours to lose, oscar/carlos

The awfulness of their last conversation seemed so distant when he saw his name on his phone. Oscar thought he could move on from it. Bury it in the same place where he buried everything else he wanted from this weekend: pole and P1 and a proof that he’s worth something. Now Oscar wonders if a part of him—a tiny, logic-defying part—will always be in that room with Carlos.

read it on ao3.

[buttdumplin]

thinking about sudden and surprise new parent reader fumbling at the little grocery store that has lights that are quiet enough, cart full of everything you think you might need but still you don't head for the register because what if you're missing something really important? and you don't have anyone you can call so you're left with a sweet sleeping infant and an arm that's screaming from having to hold her up and sweat pooling on your temples and the bittersweet scent of the desperate need for a pack that alex picks up the moment he steps through the automated doors. he quickly tracks you down, concern brimming, because you've never smelled like that before, you've always been friendly and chatted so sweetly when your carts have crossed paths and he always finds himself looking forward to bumping into you so what if this sudden change means it's because you're hurt? but when he spots you, smiling down at the little girl in your arms even as your eyes shine from unshed tears, he knows. he's yours, he was always meant to be, always belonged to you and that darling girl with a head full of dark hair

[bootleg-nessie]

The WOKE left is shoehorning women into EVERYTHING these days!!!!!1!!1!!!!1 Having them in porn is already bad enough but putting them in video games??? TOO FAR! They even forced me to have a woman present at my birth >:(

What will the woke mafia ruin next smh