#without having a panic attack
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21 and 27 for either of your steps if you want? and maybe 1 for nico!
I already did 27 for Nico here × so I'll answer for Mitchel
1.) Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?
:) Nico used to have a stuffed elephant named Rio! They were given it by an old woman who let them sleep in their library in exchange for chores. They were around 15, but held onto it up to Heartbreak, where it then became Ortega's after she found it in their old office while cleaning to move to the new HQ. They had stashed it in their bag underneath Ortega's cough so they could grab it when they came back.
21.) What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?
For Nico, you'd have to go far and low. Mortum actually might experince it after the kidnapping ending with them. They don't blame Mortum, they blame themselves for thinking they had a shot of being friends outside the puppet. I think it would induce a mild heart attack being around Mortum now.
27.) Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?
Mitchel, I'm rubbing my little hands together. Vengeance 100%. Anger is the only thing they can rely upon now and they want everyone who hurt/betrayed them dead.
Just don't look of Chen he's a special and confusing case
#Mitchel “i want those who hurt me dead” vs Chen “i saw your autposy and did nothing and I would do it again”#he hates wei. he knows he really should. but its more of a deep disgust which I guess is better#mitchel bbg if you put everything into being angry who are you going to be when all the anger goes out?#oc: nico kims#oc: mitchel becker#i genuinly feel bad for Mortum's fuckup and *need* to know how they take realizing Nico is super fucking afraid of them now#sorry bro the puppet (Quinn) is super fucked up now. the person who was being your friend is traumatized again and cant look you in the eyes#without having a panic attack#gl tho
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Me: I love getting comments on my stuff! There is nothing like the rush of validation and love you feel when someone leaves a nice comment on something you created. Both lengthy essays and little notes provide heaps of serotonin! <3
Also Me: I can't comment on this person's work. Anything I can or will say will pale in comparison to how much I love what they created. I will come off as dumb and annoying and I have no right clogging up this person's brilliance with my nonsense.
#i have two wolves inside me#one that knows and understands the joys and importance of commenting on peoples works#and the other that has severe imposter syndrome and social anxiety to the point where I can't even say 'i like this a lot!'#without having a panic attack#:)#I really do be hearting and leaving kudos praying and hoping people know their fics changed my life#new years resolution: don't be a damn weenie and comment more#we'll see how that goes loool#i love you all and all the stuff your beautiful brains and hands and bodies create :)
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pick your fighter:
kevin “did you know i’ve never been skiing? i’d like to try it one day, though.” day
vs
jeremy “yeah, i spoke to jean earlier this week. he’s definitely done for the year, but he’ll be back in the fall. he just won’t be back in black.” knox
#jeremy knox con: he might have gagged you for a second but he immediately goes on to explain#kevin day con: he has definitely gagged the world but he leaves without explaining to have a panic attack#ntm he’ll complain about how they’re all going to die#all for the game#aftg#the king’s men#jeremy knox#kevin day
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hi! I absolutely love your art and I get so happy when I see it come up on my feed! 🥰
if I can ask, why does cyra use a cane sometimes? I just saw your art where gale and cyra are with their newborn and cyra is walking with their toddler and she has a cane and I was curious.
have a good day! 😁💚
thank you so much!!!
i don't think i've said much about it other than 'she almost died' aksdhsh but everything went very wrong when the first one was born and she got sepsis, which can really fuck you up long term and she developed chronic fatigue.
she definitely tells the children that she's got a sword hidden inside it
#ramble#bg3#galemance#it's probably got bones or blood vessels carved into the side of it#aLSO uhhh question for mobility aid users bc i'm not a cane user right now but i'm considering getting one and i need to know if it's? ok??#it's not a pain or fatigue thing but i have really bad agoraphobia+vertigo and the only thing that helps is holding onto something?#example: i can't really walk my dog anymore bc it's that bad but i can get by a bit better when i'm holding his leash#anything that sort of connects me to the Ground otherwise i feel like i'm falling#but if i had to walk across a field by myself i would literally shut down#idk i'm not sure if it would help but even a placebo thing would be better rn#i would like to be able to touch grass without having a panic attack skdjhdshsd#i just don't want to like?? appropriate??? idk if that makes sense i'm just word salading right now
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Life and money stress continues, so today I actually called the mattress place I applied at to speak to the manager and plug my name. At first it was a pretty generic call but I was like, "Actually though, funny story, I met the owner on my first competitor shop when I was working for another company and he asked if I was looking for work."
"You met the [redacted]??"
"Yeah, it's been years I doubt he'd remember me but it made me want to work with him!"
She then said she'd give him a call rather than just forwarding my name along, so fingers crossed networking and shameless self promotion can win in the end.
#ramblies#if i get a job we can look at moving and a king bed and plan wedding stuff without having a panic attack#the industry is so wretched that I cannot wait for a paycheck that probably won't come for six or more months#my modeler friend has gone six months between every job shes had and she's amazing but lucky for her she can afford it cause her partner#is loaded but that's not the case we're in
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belated dragoncon post!! happy to say that i finally finished my aziraphale cosplay, it only took me over a year lol…. and if it weren’t for the kindness of this fandom i probably wouldn’t have been able to go. i had such a rough couple months leading up to the con i was sort of preparing myself to have to cancel, but things worked out in the end. dragoncon is that one big thing i look forward to every year so im really glad i was able to see it through!! on to next year!
and my crowley here is my lovely friend Everi, who you can find on instagram at everi.wear
#good omens#i also cosplayed Ken and Godzilla#and i only had one panic attack at the con please clap#ever since my panic attack at the dentist office i started having them weekly… feeling a little better now but#that’s another thing i will be sing a doctor for#and idk what i would have done without the support of my friends there
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i hate vi turned out in this but whatever vro
#eclipse federation#lifesteal smp#lifesteal fanart#princezam#lifesteal#lssmp fanart#lssmp#lssmp art#theres so many fucking tags#vitalasy#itzsubz#angsts art#i feel bad for subz baving to deal with these two#theyre all mentally ill#like super mentally ill#codependant relationship kinda mentally ill#they fall apart so fast#and they got worse without each other#they NEED EACH OTHER DUDEEE#vitalasubzam is lkke my hell#i forgot that tag wait#vitalasubzam#maybe ill make more shitposts like this#also crossposted on my twt heh DONT FUCKING FOLLOWMME THERE I WILL HAVE. A PANIC ATTACK#okay bye vro
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How do you even draw hugs
Wanted to draw Kaiser, I feel so bad for him in his first fight. But then made myself sad, so I drew Joe trying to help him (he always gets a little emotional himself when Kaiser is in such a state
#punch out#punch out wii#glass joe#von kaiser#the hug looks so bad but ignore that please#this was supposed to be quick and it still took like 2 1/2 hours#also don't just hug people having a panic attack without warning please that just makes it worse#wait until they calm down a little first and ask before
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@cokoweee
Ya’ll ever have a dream so lifelike it feels aggressively real until one thing goes a little too wrong and then you start to realize that maybe you’re in a dream but it’s also too real to convince yourself it’s not real that you can’t wake yourself up?
TW: panic attack, I say gun, uhhh blood ig? Bishop says a kinda weird thing but that's just him bein him
can I say blood? last time I did it marked me as mature...
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Her heart thumped against her chest, lactic acid building in her legs as she ran. She tapped furiously at her phone, fingers slipping over the screen as she tried to deploy Sheldon.
Donnie says “no no no” chimed a pixilated picture of Othello, his finger waving back and forth.
“What the-” She slammed against a wall, her shoulder crunching against the brick.
His stupid programming on the poor thing to keep Sheldon at his house. Maybe she could override it?
No, not enough time. She was just going to have to run and hope for the best.
Her shoulder screamed in protest as she climbed the ladder in the alley. Scrambling over the side of the building to catch her breath, she tapped at the screen again.
There had to be something she could do to foil his programming. She wiped at her nose, the cold still not quite gone even after days of bed rest. Bullets flew over the edge of the building, seemingly locking on to her body heat. Throwing herself at the ledge at the last second to force the bullets to crash into the wall she coughed violently, phlegm coating her throat.
Stupid sickness.
Stupid Othello leaving her with the stupid rabbit farmer.
She pushed herself off the ground, arms struggling under the weight of herself. It was as if every muscle in her body was on fire, each fiber screaming at her to stop. She gulped raising her head over the ledge. Agent Bishop was standing on the adjacent rooftop, his face curled into a sneer, eyes unblinking despite the sun in his eyes.
He waved at her, fingers waggling in the air as he pulled a small gun from his pocket. Aiming it directly at her chest he grinned, his eyes flickering with something distinctly unhuman.
She stumbled backward, her feet skidding over the concrete as he seemed to lock onto her. Loose rock dug into her knees as she clambered over the rooftop.
Away.
All she needed to do was get away.
She placed a hand over her stomach, feeling the raised bump of the scar, as she moved.
This was…
This was wrong?
It didn’t happen this way.
No. She didn’t need to get away, she needed to get out.
The bullet ripped into her skin, tearing away at muscle, and shattering the bone in her rib.
She screamed, blood pouring from the gaping hole in her chest, as Bishop moved closer. He walked to her side, footsteps clanking against the concrete.
Clawing at the ground she dragged her body along the roof, rocks digging under her nails. Bishop laughed, his foot trampling her hand, digging it into the ground. She gasped, breathing shallowly as she fought to get loose.
He grabbed her hair, wrapping it between his fingers and tightening his grip as he pulled her from the floor.
“Oh, this is wonderful.” He smiled, voice dripping with venom. “Such a pretty little thing I caught this evening. I’ve been dying to chat with you.” He pulled her hair up, forcing her to rise. “I wonder if she’ll do any tricks?”
She spat in his face, her ears filled with an all-consuming ringing.
Away.
She needed to get away.
It didn’t matter how. She needed to get away.
He said something else, flaunting some sort of mechanism he had hidden in his shirt. She tried to focus on his words, but her breathing was too shallow, her limbs too shaky, the ringing too loud for her to hear a word.
She clamped a hand over her chest, a sorry attempt to staunch the flow of blood from the gaping hole in her body. Cursing softly she watched as the red seeped into a slithering pink fleshy mass.
She stifled a scream as the pink turned an orange maroon, her own blood fueling some sort of monster.
“Shhhhhhh.” Bishop whispered against her ear, “It’ll be done soon. Just one quick slash and you’ll be out of my hair for good.”
The mass jumped forward, faster than she could comprehend, her body spasming in pain as she scrambled back.
Was this the Krang she’d heard so much about after she’d left the jail? Weren’t they supposed to be mindless or something?
It lunged forward again, tentacles lashing toward her face. Bishop shook her in front of him, like a toy for a dog.
“Kendra?”
She screamed as he tightened his grip on her, shaking her around like a bag of flour. The world around her turned hazy, her vision blurring in and out.
She wasn’t going to go out without a fight.
Throwing her head back she jammed her skull into his chin, breaking the grip he had on her hair.
She clawed at the ground, a strange silky feeling coating her fingers. Pushing away the softness of what was sure to be Krang, she kicked at the mass as it wiggled unnaturally.
“KENDRA!” A familiar voice shouted at her, a gentle three-fingered nubby touch against her arm.
Her eyes flew open, arms flailing to the sides to swat at what was left of the Krang matter, as hands held her back. She gasped, her chest heaving as a sinking feeling hit her gut. Dread splashed over her head like a wave, drowning her, leaving nothing but fear.
Eyes widening she looked next to her for Tello, horrified as darkness encroached on her vision, leaving her staring through a pin hole. Nausea rolled through her stomach as she gasped for air, her chest shuddering to keep up with her breathing.
It hurt. It hurt so bad.
“Hey, hey, hey.” He whispered, hand placed against her back. “It’s ok you’re home. You’re with me.”
She jerked backward. He was loud. So so loud. Even with the ringing in her ears, he was too loud.
Breaths were punched from her lungs faster than she could finish taking them in. Tears streamed down her face as her eyes blew wide. Her chest tightened, lungs twisting as she shook.
She’s dying. She has to be dying. There’s no other explanation.
Dead in her room from a nightmare-induced heart attack,
Her eyes flickered back and forth over the room, not focusing on anything, just wildly scanning for danger she knew wasn’t there. Willing her arm to move, she let out a chocked warble.
The room seemed to melt around her. Things blurred together, a fuzzy abstract painting of almost-real-life. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she tightened her muscles.
Her whole body shook as she tried to take steadying breaths.
“Did you know softshell turtles only have half a plastron?”
She was in the middle of dying.
She most definitely did not need turtle facts right now.
“Technically a full one, but it’s covered by skin, rendering it effectively useless for plastron purposes.” He shrugs. “Same deal as the shell.”
She looked at him, confusion breaking through the panic.
“Makes us really flexible though. Wanna see?”
He got off the bed, walked to the middle of the room, and bent backward. He smiled upside down at her from the floor and smoothly brought himself back up.
“Pretty neat huh?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Bet no other turtle you meet could do that.”
Amusement rippled through her as she watched him demonstrate his stretches and various yoga poses.
“I’ve never met another turtle like you.” She breathed, some of the panic melting away.
“Precisely! No one can do it like me!” He said, pointing his finger at her triumphantly before his face softened. “ We starting to feel a bit better?”
She brought her thumb and pointer finger close together. A little
He nodded. “Am I good to come back up or do you need some space?”
She patted the bed next to her, inviting him closer. She waited until he was seated comfortably before slumping against his shoulder, exhausted.
He shifted slightly, reaching for his phone with one hand, the other wrapped around her. He let them sit for a moment, reminding her to breathe every few seconds before Sheldon zipped into the room.
He whispered something to Othello before zooming out of the room. She watched passively as it happened, her body still not quite connected to her soul.
Sheldon returned moments later, a bag of ice, a bottle of water, a cookie, and tub of lavender lotion in his little propeller arms.
Othello took them from him, patted his head, and shooed him away. Taking one of the ice cubes he flattened out her hand and placed it in her palm.
She jerked slightly at the sensation of cold in her hand, surprised when he placed another in her palm.
“Focus on the melting.” He said, voice low and gentle.
The ice filled the lines of her hand and dripped over the sides and down her arm. She shivered as the water pooled in her hand. Othello grabbed the cookie from the pile he had created and broke off half to give to her.
“Thanks?”
He watched her carefully. “What does it taste like?”
“A cookie?” She said through a mouthful, her hands still full of TV static.
“I need details.” He pressed.
She paused, taking a moment to consider the flavors in her mouth. “Vanilla, chocolate chips.” She took another bite. “ Like I left it in the oven a minute or two too long and overcooked them just slightly.”
She’d have to make another batch, this time keeping an eye on the time.
He pressed an uncapped water bottle into her hand. “Drink.”
She pressed the bottle to her lips, feeling the way the cold blossomed against her skin as she held it there. Quietly observing the way she could feel it go down her throat and into her stomach.
“Are we feeling more alive?”
She nodded, running her hand along her thigh to feel the fabric of her pajama pants as she pressed her head against his side.
“Good.” He murmured, sleep creeping into his voice. “You had a panic attack I’m pretty sure.”
“...Sorry it was for something stupid.”
“I get worked up over stupid stuff too.” He mumbled, eyes half closed.
“Your stuff isn’t stupid.” She countered.
“Then neither is yours.”
She stopped, lifting her head to look up at him.
He grabbed her hand, flexing the fingers for her. “You feel ok?”
“I don’t know.” She answered honestly.
He nodded and guided her to a lying position. “Tell me five of your favorite things.”
She paused, looking around the room. “Hmmmmm. You.”
“Thank you.”
“Mhm. Uhhh, lavender. The color purple. Satin jackets. Baking. Messing around in the lab. Oh, I guess that’s more than five.”
He tapped her shoulders rhythmically, “You can keep going if you need to.”
She took in a deep breath. “I think I’m ok now.”
“Positive?”
Nodding she pulled the blankets over herself. What she really needed was rest. She was so exhausted from the whole ordeal that the idea of doing anything else felt impossible.
He got off the bed again, searching beneath the bedframe for something before he pulled a large purple blanket from under the bed. She blinked in surprise as he placed it over her, a weight holding her down to the bed.
“I should’ve mentioned it was weighted.”
She pulled her hand out to give a quick thumbs up as he climbed back into bed. She shifted to hold out her arm for a hug. He smiled and pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“You smell like you’ve been using my soap.” She grumbled against his plastron.
He shrugged. “ I like the way you smell.”
Rolling her eyes she tugged the blanket higher over her shoulders smiling as soft chirping filled the room, the sound he always made right as he fell asleep.
“Good night Tello.” She whispered.
His plastron vibrated as he churred back, gently running circles through her hair.
She was home. And she was safe.
~
squad don't write stuff at four AM I'm pretty sure this only makes sense to me at this point. Anyway I was listening to my pretty princess playlist while writing this 💁♀️
the reason why this was written is in the tags btw
#Me and my friend were hanging out and she got all excited when I told her I was minoring in creative writing#she asked for me to read me some of my stuff and I agreed LIKE AN IDOIT#well i open my docs and low and behold it's what I posted yesterday#mind you that doc is titled ugly sewer man and his pretty wife#i scroll before she can see the title but at this point I have to read this one#its too late for me to exit the doc without me being suspicious#I read it and she's all like “Well butter my backside and call me a biscuit I forgot you wrote but you do a pretty dang good job!”#I'm just sweating bullets coz I just read her my fanfic of Donatello the ninja turtle and Kendra the dragon chick#she'll never know and I'll never tell her that she was read kendratello fanfic with the names and some of the words replaced#its worth it to say that this isn't the first time that this has happened with her#last time it was the freaking really long one with Leo dying dead and Don also trying to die dead#i went home and cooked myself some pasta to recover because wtf was that#and I was so upset by the situation that instead of sleeping I wrote more kendratello fanfic?#pee pee poo poo#caca dodo even#FOUR AM BABY AND IM STILL HEREEEEEE#Ya'll also got some free stuff to use to help a hommie out if they ever start having a panic attack#tapping method will work on yourself as well if you start feeling freaked out or not in your body.#just cross your arms over your torso and put your left hand on your right shoulder and vice versa tapping your shoulders one at a time#im sleepin now#gn yall#Paige writes
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Me: Hey, can I please have content for the poc characters on The Boys universe? Especially MM, Victoria, and Marie?
Tumblr:
#but let it be for homelander or soldier boy and i'll get results galore 🙄#no i do not care about those nasty racist yte men give me substance give me flavor give me actually interesting characters#like it's very evident this fandom hardly cares for their black and other poc characters and it shows#like i can't even go through the characters tags without seeing majority content that isn't even about them#especially for mm#i'll never forget how he was literally having a panic attack at seeing sb but everyone was like “SOLDIER BOY IS SO HOT”#like why is there so few mm x reader &/or marie x reader!?#heck there's little for victoria and kimiko! like yall COME ON!#im happy that jordan was able to blow up on here bc at least im getting fed content#but why do i see more stuff them x cate x reader in some way than i do with them x reader x marie!?#yall be doing marie so dirty sometimes 😭#the boys#mother's milk#marvin milk#marie moreau#victoria neuman#kimiko miyashiro#like i just barely find stuff for victoria and kimiko but its not enough 😭#I DON'T CARE ABOUT BUTCHER GET HIM OFF MY DASH
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Shinsou: I hate all those things that were like, “they used to be so strong and funny…. ThEn [insert trauma here], now they are a shell of what they once were”
Shinsou: I can be traumatized and still be strong and funny. I’m the funniest fucker I know
Tsuyu: yesterday you said that you wanted to enter a coma so you didn’t have to deal with an authority figure being mad at you again
Shinsou: both can be true, am I not allowed to have duality, tsuyu??
#he’s fine he just has to be dramatic about it first#it’s so okay it not like I have a panic attack when an authority figure looks at me#that’s crazy I’d never nope not me#Aizawa is probably the current authority figure for shinsou#tsuyu is not afraid to check her on her friends mental health and we love to see that#what a lad#she’ll call bullshit without a second thought#anyway. I saw one too many things about Ellie being strong and funny until ‘David broke her’ and fuck that bullshit#as someone who has been abused their entire life that stuff makes me mad as hell#that being said. if that’s what someone needs to do to cope. I bid them the best of luck and all of my love and support#bnha#mha#incorrect mha quotes#incorrect my hero academia quotes#mha incorrect quotes#bnha incorrect quotes#incorrect bnha quotes#shinsou is in the izucrew#shinsou hitoshi#asai tsuyu#incorrect izucrew#izucrew#izucrew as family
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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Sure Buggy and Crocodile have devil fruit powers, but Mihawk is the only one who could get their house key if it fell to the bottom of a pool, so really who's more powerful
#one peice#op buggy#op crocodile#op mihawk#cross guild#im new to the fandom so im so curious on how the no water thing is handled in modern aus without devil fruit powers#is hydrophobia just the number one fear in modern aus?#mihawk desperately searching for a hotel that doesnt have a pool so his partners dont have a panic attack on their romantic getaway
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deadendia book 3 comes out in 2 weeks can't wait to see my blorbos pail and cattle again
#i feel like im gonna throw up#hyperfixation so bad i cant look at official art of my favorite character without having a panic attack#deadendia#cahatel#pael#dreadedhalo#cahatel deadendia#pael deadendia#deadendia cahatel#deadendia pael#my art#fanart#deadendia fanart#dead end
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i am one year panic attack free 🎊
#i think this is the first time i’ve gone this long without having a panic attack#which kind of scares me bc i feel there’s one coming but. !!!#yippee#my mom said she’s proud of me <3#might get myself a coffee tomorrow to celebrate#(as though i don’t get coffee like every day)#(i rly love coffee)
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i think they should kill me. shoot me in the street
#p#im so bad rn. brain said haha you were doing well? no ♥️#i cant even buy groceries without having a panic attack#relapsed on all accounts after being clean for literal years#at least my cat is still very excited to see me and he is pure love#petting and smelling him helps.#engages the eyes touch smell sound.....#time for depressed nap number five since the week began !
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