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galene-gothic · 2 months ago

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𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗍𝗒𝗉𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗈𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ What are you looking for within a partner outside of worldly distractions, personal insecurities and limiting beliefs? ꒱

Your ideal type is someone who thinks that life is tasteless without you. You want them to have undergone the lowest of lows in life because you think that they’ll be able to connect with you well if that’s the case. You’re someone who wants to be pursued and you want them to be sort of self conscious when it comes to you because they care about what you think of them. You want them to value long term connections and to have a pure mind i.e. be someone who doesn’t lead anyone on and only does long term connections. You honestly want them to share such a connection only with you. You want them to be someone who’s first kiss, first time, everything was delayed until they met you and they got to experience it all with you. You want them to not have connections progressed enough for any sort of seriousness. You also want them to be focused on their career and save certain things for their forever person, and open their heart to you and only you. You want them to be very generous when it comes to you. You want them to want to give you things, you want them to want you bad enough to pursue you, to earn your approval and to win your trust, and love, even if they’re risking wasting their time. You want them to be someone who doesn’t give their heart away to others, is focused on their career and puts themself first but is generous with you, has time for you and becomes open, and vulnerable with you. You don’t want them to be holding onto any memory with any one of the past and to cherish you, and only you. The concept of a ‘first love that they can’t forget’ and ‘the one that got away’ makes you sick to the stomach, and makes you want to throw up. You want them to be slightly possessive of you and codependent on you honestly. You want them to be someone who doesn’t mind being blunt, sarcastic and rude with others if the need is there. You want them to be charming but in a way where it’s sort of a miscommunication and they never intended for things to be taken a certain way. You want them to know how to get what they want from the world simply because they’re too charismatic with their words. You want them to be extremely aware of what’s going on around them, possibly to the point of hyper vigilance but to still act distant and flighty to others. You want them to question their belief systems, values, actions and way of life, and to be someone who is able to deal with major upheavals without much of a reaction to them. You want them to be independent and difficult to fool. Someone virtuous who doesn’t need the approval of others. Also, someone principled and intelligent according to others as well. You want them to be respected by others. Emotionally, you want someone who is highly dependent on you and is afraid of losing you.

You want them to be slightly possessive and also needy. You want them to be almost smothering with you but also very vulnerable, like even if they were to try to suppress their emotions, they wouldn’t be able to when it comes to you. You also desire for them to have a secret perverse and dirty side. The side that just wants to take you at any moment. You want them to express this dirty side to you and only you, the idea of having someone be this vulnerable, intimate and dirty with you and only you is very sexy to you. I’m not sure if you realise it but you seem to enjoy slight quarrels and fights within a romantic partnership. You also enjoy adult jokes and communication through the eyes with your romantic partner. You desire a partner whose loyalty for you is very obvious and manifested strongly beneath the surface without you having to tell them anything about loyalty and devotion at all. I’m not sure what the reason is but you have a desire for a partner who doesn’t quite fit in, someone who might have had some issues with their parents? It’s not something you consciously seek but you desire for someone who you can soothe and become the most important person to, even if they don’t have any issues within their family. You likely desire someone with more conservative views or culture when it comes to romance. You desire utmost submission and devotion from a person who’s very strong within themself, and to the outside world. You want someone who wouldn’t be able to leave you no matter what. You want to be the dream person to your romantic partner, you want them to idealise you and daydream about you. You also want them to plan a future with you and be determined to be with you. You want someone who has many options but will choose you to build a life with. You want your romantic partner to choose you and not have any regrets about doing so. You want to be treated well, almost like royalty and be offered a variety of qualities and options by them. “Tell me what you want and I’ll be that for you.” Is what you want your romantic partner to be like. You want them to look reserved and determined. This is weird but you don’t want them to share eye contact with many people but when they do, it’s very intense? You want them to have a direct gaze that is intense and observant at other times. You want someone with well defined facial structure, nose and overall appearance. You want them to look ethical, intimidating, intense, calculating, respectable, high status, powerful and someone who either doesn’t smile much or even their smile looks powerful. You have a thing for a strong jaw that causes the lower face to look naturally chiseled but not a full on square jaw. Like, when someone’s jaw is so strong, their chin area looks sexy and well defined.

You also like when someone with this facial structure smiles because their chin and structure looks more pronounced plus their face just folds in certain ways. I’m not sure if I’m able to explain it but my lover - Jake of Enhypen would be a perfect example for this kind of facial structure. You want them to be known to be a hard worker who’s hard to get. You want them to be able to keep up the image of being fine and doing well in front of others. Also, someone who is very fair and has a sense of inner contentment. You want someone who’s known to continue working hard and go for another goal when they’re done accomplishing one. You want someone with a mindset “one life, I’ll do and get it all” kind of mindset. When it comes to their morals, you want them to be someone who befriends the weird person and talks to the new employee, etc. You want them to have a genuine desire to include others. You also want them to be someone who understands what is valuable and is forgiving towards self, and others. You want someone who has a conscience and feels guilty when they do certain things, and grows through it. You desire someone who is emotionally mature emotionally to work on themself and heal instead of blaming everything onto circumstances. You want to be with someone who is able to let go of the past completely without any regrets or memories. You also want them to be someone who doesn’t mind apologising if they’re wrong. Someone who’s very strong minded and willed, and possesses the strength to cut through any challenge. Also, someone whose strong love and morality always surpasses their strong hurts, regrets, resentments and hate. You want someone who actively chooses to be a good person. In their core, you want them to be someone who is warm, loving and generous. Also, someone very genuine and passionate. You want them to possess an incomprehensible depth and honestly, be a kid at heart. You want them to admire you and be attached to you by the hip. You want them to be heavily emotionally attached and involved with you. You want them to be strongly connected to their inner child and feel safe enough to let it out in front of you. You want them to have a crush on you and be in love with you decades into the relationship, and also in a very innocent fashion. You want them to have a sense of purity and innocence naturally. You want them to be sensitive and to understand your emotions, and needs without having to say much. You want to be able to laugh around, cry and just have an innocently deep connection with someone who’s ethical and serious, and self sufficient on the surface but vulnerable, loving and childlike with you. You also have a strong desire to be their first and last love, and have them be your first and last love.

꒰ Who do you need to become in order to attract them? ꒱

Right away, if you believe in manifesting, you need to just simply step into your manifestor state by not doubting things but instead just setting the intention and having faith. With them, you need to be someone who is fairly possessive but also gives others the space the breathe. You need to become slightly argumentative with them so that the arguments end in bed in order to restore stability. Well anyway enough about them, you need to develop more stability in your own life first. You need to put a laser focus on your own goals and success for now because trust me, right now, even if your ideal type existed, they’d not date you. You need to let go of any and all issues completely, once and for all, prioritising building a new life and mindset for yourself. There is someone or something that is not serving you good that you are still holding onto. It might have long passed you by but the effects of it have lingered because you were led to feel really trapped, helpless, hopeless and victimised. You’re being told that the first step to your ideal person is to let go of these deep seated fears and trauma, and never consider settling. Embrace life wholeheartedly and with passion. You need to become someone who has goals in your mind that actually light you up on the inside, goals that you are truly passionate about and you need to be fierce in your execution of them, not letting temporary circumstances steer you away from it or break your flow. Ofcourse, life happens so you might have to take a day or two off sometimes, like you might have to attend a funeral or a family member of yours might get sick, don’t let such days ruin your flow, always get back to it as soon as you can. Learn how to maintain a strong sense of self worth and always see the wins in the losses because the more you explore of any interest, the more you’ll realise that you are not doing certain things right, the more aware you’ll be of your past mistakes but that just means that you’re winning. Look at life as “oh this time my business failed, that means I’ll be able to avoid making the same mistakes the next time” instead of “oh my god, my business failed, now I have nothing to live for.” Look at life as once you’ve climbed a mountain and are able to look down, you’ll notice where you went wrong and where you could have moved differently. The main way to build stability is consistency with self control. Also, allowing yourself to grow in every aspect is going to be crucial too. You need to learn how to do things even if you don’t feel like it, how to maintain a routine even if you don’t feel like it. You’re being told to be a workaholic if the need be there but there’s a lot of emphasis being put onto work-life balance, you need to be careful about not burning yourself out while hustling. Never give up and never change your path as long as you’re aware that you want it. Like, some people have always desired to become performers, others have always desired to write, others develop a desire to become a fashion designer along the way, etc. Fashion designer - Coco Chanel didn’t go to fashion school in order to become a great fashion designer. Don’t let your emotional abundance and fulfilment depend on anyone or anything else. You’re being told to build an emergency fund right away and if you have one, grow it a bit. Learn how to not burn out so that you can always come back on track.

You’re being told not to change your mind in a fickle manner. Like, if you were thinking about saving money but you had to spend money on some food or other expenses, don’t start taking that as a “just this once, I’ll spend some money” and start buying more things, going out more often, etc. Spend money on whatever expenses may arise but stay firm on saving money. You need to become someone who believes in the mutuality, fairness and equality of any relationship, be it professional or personal. However, your kind and giving nature is going to be something that attracts not only them but also other loving experiences and people towards you. So, you’re being told to grow into someone who is publicly very kind but in terms of personal relationship very picky. You need to become like a phoenix, someone who grows more powerful and beautiful after having completely burned down. You are bound to deal with unfair circumstances and connections in this lifetime. You’re going to have to learn how to reclaim your power, no matter how many times you may have to do it. Until eventually, you’re so in control of yourself and have learned how to deal with the lack of reciprocity that you do not even lose your power anymore. You need to stop having guilt and regrets of any sort but be fairly self critical as in, you always keep yourself in check. I just heard “never let anyone wrong you” including false accusations or treating you poorly like you deserve it. In terms of the way you put yourself out in the world, become someone who’s willing to learn and be humble. When I tell you that you need to grow into this person in order to attract your ideal type, I mean to show you who you’re meant to be as well, don’t do anything solely to attract romance, it’s going to lead to you not being able to enjoy your life as it is. Please understand that the lack of romantic love doesn’t make your current life any less beautiful than when you might have a romantic partner. I’m not sure what it is but you’re going to have to motivate others and teach them to go through life and emotional pain in some way. It could be by sharing how you got over certain situations and manoeuvred through life. At your core, you have to be someone who is very controlled, loving, compassionate and strong. You’re going to be strong but in a very feminine manner. I’m picking up on shame and heartbreak over who you naturally are because you’re someone who is compassionate yet strong, wild yet refined, wholehearted yet aware of others’ boundaries, virtuous yet have your own vices, however you’ve had your softer qualities been taken advantage of and your stronger qualities villainised so well, no matter what part of yourself you embody, there’s no winning. However, trust me all you need to be is yourself. You don’t have to try to embody more of anything but if you want to, you can definitely do so. You’re very pure of heart and don’t have to change that about yourself. If you’ve had to deal with a lot of fear and confusion but have been finding clarity, you’re already at least quarter to half way there. You’re going to have to be someone who’s very subconsciously aware of who you are, even your deepest and dirtiest parts. Also, someone who is very powerful, influential, warm, shines brightly and is the creator of their own life. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ What are you looking for within a partner outside of worldly distractions, personal insecurities and limiting beliefs? ꒱

Your ideal type is someone who is unique in the way they think and open minded. You think that certain beliefs that you have and the way you are is slightly different from what others can usually accept or even understand so you want them to understand and accept you completely. You also want them to have a strong conscience and sense of what’s right, and wrong. You want them to be private but still very honest, someone who’s willing to correct their wrongs and work on their negative traits. Someone who’s self aware enough to see, understand, accept and work through certain actions that may not be the most ethical. You want someone who’s fair and has a strong knowledge about the rights that they may not directly benefit from. Many of you here are feminists or/and child activists, you may not go out there and fight but you have a strong knowledge of the rights that these two groups of people should receive and have a desire to stand up against any injustice that you see these people may be facing so you want a partner who pushes you towards it and would understand why you feel so strongly about certain topics. You want them to be an individual who doesn’t just blindly follow what they’ve been raised with. You don’t want them to hold onto outdated beliefs that separate people from one another, such as different religions, different castes if you’re hindu, etc. You want them to be someone with a strong sex appeal but not that social. You want them to be social as in be able to have fun and interact with others but also not be available just anywhere and everywhere. You want them to be a busy person with individual projects and just high maintenance, you want others to envy them due to their personality, character, image and success. You want them to not want to or even be able to stay away from you. You want them to feel homesick without you and come back to you as soon as possible after travels or even cancel travelling to be with you. You want them to have eyes and heart only for you, and only give you time and affection. You’re not overbearing because you do understand that they have a life and you’ll let them have it but in terms of emotions and certain aspects of them, you want to be the only one to receive it. You want them to prioritise your connection above all, most definitely. You want them to be fiercely loyal to you and for you to share a connection so deep that they feel comfortable enough to talk to you about their failures, disappointments and hurts. You want a very intimate connection with a natural understanding and acceptance of one another. You mostly desire someone who is untouchable and comfortable with being alone. Your biggest fear is ending up with an experienced hoe who can’t be alone for shit. That’s not even my usual vocabulary, that was the spirit I swear 😭. You want someone who looks independent and as though they don’t need anyone but in a more closed off manner.

You want someone who looks like they work really hard and have no problems in life. I’m getting that you like someone who probably looks like they work out too. Definitely someone fairly glamorous and gorgeous who stands out though. Honestly, you desire someone who no one has had or known properly. You want them to be known by how hard they work and how busy they are. Also, someone who doesn’t mind being seen as ‘boring’ just because they are responsible and old school. You want them to be pretty unhinged in certain ways, someone who pursues their dreams and goals abashedly. Also, someone who is known for being dominant and well respected. You want someone who people can’t even figure out or put into words. Like, the type who will just take your breath away because of how unconventional yet true they are to themself. Also, someone who has build a lot of money by themself due to how hardworking they are. You want them to value depth and intimacy, and take connections seriously. You want them to be someone who values personal achievements that they may not gain recognition for just as much as external achievements. You want them to be intentional about life and know what they want, and go after it. You want them to be someone who has a lot of faith in themself and desires to improve their skills. You want them to value passion and communication, and be very smooth with their words. Someone who lowkey has a god complex, as in they know that they’re one with the universe and powerful enough to get what they want. You want them to be someone who thinks that whatever ideas they have, they can bring them to life. You want them to have a strong willpower and consciousness about how the universe operates even if they may not exactly use words like ‘god’, ‘universe’ or ‘manifestation’. You want someone who values being influential and succeeds in doing so. Someone who is capable of learning from everyone and everything. Someone who is just a true man (if you’re interested in men). You want them to have a willpower that can’t be crushed no matter what, someone who will always push forward. Emotionally, you want them to hold a silent power. Someone who naturally expects and demands respect from others. Also someone who is quick to cut people out and off. You want them to be someone who grows from every situation and is grateful for what they do have. Someone who’s present and grounded within reality, and doesn’t think about the past. You want their emotional focus to be on self and reality. You want them to be selfless with those who need it but still very focused on their own life path. You want them to have a zest for life and be ambitious. You want them to have a certain pride within themself. You have a desire for someone who either comes from humble beginnings or if not (because everyone loves generational wealth), maintains humility despite being successful and rich. Whether you may expect it or not, you want them to have never been in love with or given anything to anyone else, you want them to have you as their first and last love forever, and always.

꒰ Who do you need to become in order to attract them? ꒱

You will not attract them unless you’ve worked through heartbreaks, hurt and trauma of your own. When I say ‘worked through’, I mean moved on completely to the point that you think it’s too irrelevant and boring to even think about. You should learn how to balance things and a proper schedule even if unavoidable circumstances may come up. Like, supposing you received news that a close relative passed away and you have no choice but to go to help with their funeral, go do so but don’t forget your routine in the process. Even if you’re unable to check everything off, check a few things off. Like, even if you’re unable to workout and study, if you had an essay to write, make sure to do so or if you wake up late because you went to sleep late, make sure to get up and follow your routine as far as you can. If you have to skip the workout part for that day it’s okay but make sure not to skip it the next. Try to be consistent and don’t let your inability to do one task stop you from doing the rest of them. You need to mature a lot more in order to attract this person that you desire into your life. Yes, if you manage to have an overnight shift into this identity, you will attract them eventually but most people do not change overnight because human change is more of a process so I’d suggest that you start working towards becoming this person right away. You need to be a hard-worker and have self improvement, and life improvement as your top priority. You need to be so busy and so grounded within yourself that you don’t even have time to think about the past unnecessarily. You need to forgive your past and move past it. You need to become aware enough to not engage in conflict, arguments or making any choice driven by anger. Learn from your mistakes instead of ruminating over how you were done wrong. Regrets won’t do anything, move on without them. You are going to have people who are competitive with you and envious of you. You need to become confusing by seemingly appearing like you lack assertiveness but winning every competitive battle in one way or another. Emotionally, you need to get rid of being too emotional. You need to have a strong desire and will to succeed and grow. Also, to follow the light towards the end of the tunnel. You’re being told that the sooner you get rid of heavy hearted energies, the sooner you’ll get better. Morally you need to be very quick and firm, like no one should be able to sway you away from your morals even if they were the sweetest speaker and most persuasive person ever.

Your desire for fairness and reasoning needs to outride your emotions for anyone in any situation. You also need to maintain your fiery and passionate nature. I recommend that you look out for children and try to take care of them, I’m not sure why either but it just came through. You need to become fearless and never lose your zest for life, if you already have, you need to get it back. You need to prioritise enjoying the essence of life, never lose perspective of the beauty of it. You’re being told that you need to live. You need to go out and experience life instead of being in your head. Physical appearance and image wise, you need to be a bit more closed off and secretive. You need to create a sense of mystery around yourself by keeping to yourself but when you speak, you should say something wise or teach people how to do something, etc. Be humble in your approach. Also, never approach people first and avoid being too available early on as well. You should not pretend to be something you’re not so all you need to do is build enough of a life for yourself to be busy enough to not be available just anyone and everyone. You need to be a stable person who values close and stable connections on a core level, and build a level of detachment so that you’re apathetic to things and people not being the right ones for you. You need to learn how to enjoy working so that you have enough of a life for yourself and should give yourself away in social service of some sort, that’s where you’ll find true contentment. You’re going to have to develop a lot of inner and outer power in order to attract and get with your ideal type. You need to become protective of yourself and keep parts of yourself only to yourself. You need to start self worshiping to a certain extent. You need to understand the divinity that humans are, having been made by the most divine itself (god, universe, whatever you may want to cut it). Don’t forget your divinity and sacredness. Be a sharp thinker who takes no bullshit. Don’t be afraid of hurting other people’s feelings in this process of life because being real, everyone hurts someone or the other, with decent people, it’s not even intentional. You need to be able to see things as they are, even if it’s painful. Also, you need to live in the present moment completely. You need to have an active lifestyle instead of being by yourself, in your head all the time. Extend your love to yourself and to those in need but don’t hand it out for free in interpersonal relationships. Teach others and learn from them. Be humble but don’t let your guard down. Have sacred time when you do nothing but bask in yourself, when you do nothing but appreciate yourself, when you do nothing but think thoughts that help you connect to yourself better. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ What are you looking for within a partner outside of worldly distractions, personal insecurities and limiting beliefs? ꒱

“Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick with you forever. Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick with you.” You probably dislike those who indulge in any sort of intoxication. You are into someone who is a bit bossy and controlling but deeply passionate, and fiercely loyal. Also, someone who would get jealous. You want to see them all riled up over you. You want them to desire power, wealth, status, etc. and be very fierce in approach to it but also not let these desires have a hold on them. You want them to have an empowered mindset and just truly be free. You want them to be someone who faces their fears and gains power out of it, instead of acting out in fearful and anxious ways. Like, for example, this person does not trust themself enough when it comes to singing in front of everyone, they choose to face that fear and lack of trust head on, and practice really hard, the first step being that they don’t sing well enough to be confident in their singing, they consciously decide and work hard in order to get better at that skill. That’s the kind of person you want to be with, someone who can turn fears into power. Also, someone who thinks or at least knows that everything is a learnable skill. You don’t want them to be someone who makes excuses about not doing or being certain things. You want them to be a winner in front of others. You want others to see them as hardworking, driven and successful. You also want them to possess a duality. You want them to be a kind and hardworking person who is well respected, and liked but also sorta underestimated and disrespected but the underestimation comes from fear or jealousy. You want them to be so powerful that their power is sort of hidden. I’m not sure how to explain it. You want them to be more powerful than people can fathom. I’m trying my best to put it into words but I’m unable to do so. Maybe you want someone who’s very difficult to describe, explain or understand? You want them to have a hypnotic effect on people that sort of breaks when they interact with them because they seem easy going to and easy to take for granted but then they still have power, and to be much more hardworking, firm and almost stoic than how they look. You want them to include you everyday. You desire to feel seen by them and feel special. You want someone who’s liked by other people to only like you and for those other people to witness it. You want their affection for you to be visible to everyone and for you to receive envy as well. You want them to take your breath away with their genuineness and how they’re loved, and looked up to by everyone. You want them to be emotionally intelligent and to genuinely care about your emotions.

I wonder if you have some unresolved emotional pain because you want them to have undergone enough to understand you and your pain. You want them to love themself a lot but be willing to martyr themself just a little bit for you. You don’t want to settle for someone who stops talking to other women, thirsting over celebrities, watching porn, etc. just because they’re dating you, you want them to normally be this way whether they’re dating anyone or not. You want them to be the kind to patiently work and wait for their fruits to show instead of talking to every woman, chasing them, clubbing every weekend, etc. You want them to look ethereal yet dangerous in some way. Possibly a taller, stronger or/and bigger physique. You want them to be known for being hardworking but not open enough. Someone who’s hard to get close to, someone who doesn’t let others into their life that easily. You want them to be someone who doesn’t let just anyone get to know them on a deep level. You want them to be a parent-like naturally. Someone who treats everyone well and with good intentions. You especially want this energy stronger with you, you want them to take care of you and do things for you just because they want to, just because they adore you. It’s very obvious that you want them to be nurturing and beautiful inside out. For you, outside beauty by itself won’t do much. When it comes to you, physical beauty is a lot about the image they have. Like, the way they carry themself, the aura they have, the reputation they have and the way other people view them. You’re attracted to those who make you feel better about yourself and rise you further in life. You want them to be a bit alone at their core and be fine with it. You want their main moral to be love, you want them to be someone who doesn’t separate from the essence of love no matter how successful they may get or the opposite end, how much life may betray them, how much they have have to hurt. You want them to be able to lead with love and be biased in their treatment of you. You want them to treat you differently from the rest of the people around you. Also, you want them to have a lot of willpower and power over their emotions. Also, someone who has the ability to get what they want in life no matter what. You want to be shown off to everyone and loved publicly because well, it’s sweet plus flattering. You love attention and affection, and want someone who’s not scared of loving you and choosing only you. Unfortunately, there’s a deep rejection wound that you seem to possess, it may not have been that you received a direct rejection but you felt like people were embarrassed of you and thought you weren’t good enough for them. This wound runs very deep and while it’s okay for you to desire to be loved publicly, you need to work on healing this wound.

꒰ Who do you need to become in order to attract them? ꒱

Firstly, you need to prioritise your personal healing. I just heard that there’s no one coming to save you. You need to understand that no matter what you go through, the healing is going to be personal to you and only you, no one else will be able to experience what you experienced and hence, help you heal. One thing that I won’t lie about is the one sidedness that you seem to have faced in life so far. You need to accept the one sidedness that you have experienced, even if it hurts and is not easy to accept, and move forward with it. “I’ve been big and small, and big and small, and big and small again but still nobody wants me, still nobody wants me, and I know no one will save me, I’m just asking for a kiss, give me one good honest kiss and I’ll be alright.” You’re desperately affection starved but focusing on how you’ve been starved of it won’t do any good. You need to learn how to nurture your soul affectionately outside of external validation and affection. One way to know that you’re on your way is if you are dealing with internal and external aggression or have already done so. You’re someone who wishes for your interactions with others to go smoothly but sometimes that’s just not how it goes, they may be rude, belittle you or just make a demeaning joke, and when you were younger, you’d likely have laughed it off and moved on but now you feel really really angry on the inside. There are times when you externally blow up on people as well. You are someone who is very extreme, there are or were times when you were incredibly submissive and nothing people said got to you to the point of ticking you off, and now, you desire for interactions to go smoothly so when that’s not the case, and when you feel disrespected, you blow up or at least feel really aggressive internally. You need to move past this thought process that your past trauma from one sidedness and other people’s thoughtless actions have given you. You didn’t mind it at that time but now that you look back, you feel really wronged and disrespected, and due to how you don’t want the history to repeat again, you’ve started putting people in their place even if it’s a bit extreme at times. I’m not sure but some of you here, probably many of you seem to be a real life version of Pearl. There’s a chance that you wanted to become an actress or actor, or still secretly dream of doing so, some of you may even be trying to pursue it. This seems to be a path that your heart never leaves. However, right now, you’re the “I’m not staying on this farm. Nothing’s gonna keep me here” or/and “why are you leaving me if I didn’t do anything wrong, I don’t understand, I thought you liked me” kind of Pearl. You need to find a way to be externally passionate such as finding new goals or hobbies. There’s just this zest for life that you need to develop. You need to have fun with whatever you’re doing, that’s for sure. Also, you don’t have to be a hundred percent honest and transparent with anyone, especially not with someone you don’t know well yet. Act strategically and don’t trust anyone. Trusting someone should come to you only after years of knowing that deeply. You’re being told to not be naive enough to forget the dark nature and psyche that human beings possess.

I just heard that not everyone is going to have your best interest at heart. Be secretive and never share your plans with anyone or even tell them what you’re doing to the full extent. “Even the people closest to you can use your strengths and weaknesses against you if the need be there. Your past is proof of it.” You’re also being told not to act out of anger or blow up on people. There was once a point when you could not say anything mean to people even if they were doing so to you because you are supposed to have and maintain a natural grace. Keep in mind that when you grab a burning coal and throw it at someone, you may or may not hurt them but you’re definitely hurting yourself. You doubt yourself for no reason and easily feel guilty because for you, judging (misjudging) yourself comes easier than to even just see or at least understand the wrongdoings of others. Which is why you’ve often taken unfair blame. You’re very critical of yourself which is good because you’re aware of your own wrongdoings but you need to stop being so hard on yourself especially knowing that others have done worse and don’t hold even half the remorse you do. Just use your self criticality to refine yourself further. Due to all the one sidedness that you’ve experienced, you wonder if you’re putting yourself out there in a manner which makes it hard for others to truly understand you but what you’re failing to realise is that you can’t make them understand you when they are committed to misunderstanding you. Partially, this self doubt is present because you feel like you’re a pretty good person at heart and even through actions, for the most part despite the mistakes that you may have made here and there. So when others do not see your worth or value, or even seem to understand you. It genuinely confuses you. You often overestimate other people, especially if there are personal feelings or desires involved, you need to understand and accept that who you’ve lost wasn’t even that great to begin with, what you’ve lost wasn’t even that great to begin with. Actually no, it was great but do you know why? Because of you and your efforts. Fight back for yourself when others misunderstand you but don’t try to fight back verbally because language will most definitely be mistranslated. Fight back through silence, fight back by removing yourself, fight back by getting better for yourself and surrounding yourself with better people. You need to put the past behind completely and not even think about it anymore. You need to move on without any regrets and mental or emotional attachment. “And now the chapter is closed and done, and now it’s goodbye, it’s goodbye for us.” This makes me so emotional. I’m not sure which cancer (or cancer placements) here dealt with a pisces or aquarius (or someone with those placements) but damn, the heartbreak seems to have been real. If not these placements, some of you could have similar placements like this. For example, aries with sagittarius/scorpio placements, taurus with capricorn/sagittarius placements, gemini with aquarius/capricorn placements, so on and so forth. I’m getting that majority of you probably dealt with pisces or aquarius placements or with neptune squares/pluto aspects in the astrological synastry or composite chart with someone though.

Sometimes, there’s just this thought in your mind that maybe your intense love nature and your willingness to ride or die is causing you to suffer. You’re someone who’s very responsible. Even if you don’t have the means to, you try to help others especially those you love. ‘Unconditionally’ by Katy Perry is coming through. You have the ability to stick with people through thick and thin, and you genuinely have the desire to do so, and receive the same from someone else as well but you’re going to face disappointments in your lifetime in regards to that. I’m not getting you simply just being slightly hurt by like a situationship, relationship or anything. I’m getting your soul merging with someone’s and having to have your heart and soul deal with the pain of separation with your beloved. You’re going to have to learn how to forgive and accept the situation as it was i.e. if they were capable of loving you the way you wanted and needed them to, if they were even just as half as loyal to you, if they genuinely wanted to be present, you’d be together. I’m literally crying at this point, this is very emotional. You’re supposed to learn how to find solace and stability within yourself without any external love or validation. Your romantic, intense and ride or die nature is an innate part of you, don’t remove it. Learn how to create a persona and character with this deeply integrated within yourself but have this acceptance that you should not have to settle for less. Develop the mindset of “I’d rather not be with anyone until I reach my death bed than settle.” You’re also being told to use your love to become a universal mother, to tend to others who need your love. You’re being told that your life will have to revolve around social service and mothering of some kind in order to attract your ideal type. The easiest way to do this is to deal with underprivileged children and just spread kindness to children in general. Always come out of any isolations (because you’re going to go through phases of it) with more love and service to give, and offer. When I’m telling you to be all of these things, I’m not asking you to change yourself, I’m only telling you to be who you are authentically and who you’re supposed to be, not just for them but also for yourself. So please take my words very seriously, it’s not just to attract someone outside of you but also to help you become happier and lead a better life. You need to continue valuing passion, having it as one of your main values and learn how to not go deep with just anyone and everyone because not everyone is deserving of the ride or die, intensely loving nature that you’re inevitably going to extend to them at some point. Appearance wise, you need to have a power due to how easy to underestimate you look but are actually not. Like, supposing you wear skirts and a lot of light colours (you don’t have to, it’s just an example), and have a baby face, others may assume that you haven’t achieved anything, and are reliant on your parents when in reality, you have a business that you’ll never give them enough details on. You also need to have an image of being someone busy who doesn’t give your attention to everybody who asks for it. “Act like you don’t need anyone’s attention, approval and validation.” Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

#pick a card #pac #pac reading #intuitive readings #tarot pac #pick a card reading #tarot pick a card #pick a photo

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direquail · 1 year ago

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I think what bothers me most about how John is talked about in the fandom is the implication that a different (implied: better) person would've done things differently and somehow more right than he did.

When the text goes to lengths to explore how suddenly coming into an incredible amount of power in a fatally constrained situation cannot lead to a good outcome.

If you're putting John in dialogue with the concept of the "magical girl", which Muir has said he is (a little tongue in cheek, but)--these are young, often profoundly unready people, who often get taken advantage of by the people who give them their powers. And like, yes, John is not a teenager, but I think that's part of the point, is that at no point is a person really prepared to become as powerful as he did--even before he merged with Alecto. Even when he was fully in control of his powers, even when they were given with honest intent and trust, even when he used them with the best of intentions and tried to do the right thing, there was no way for him to be prepared, especially given the situation he was in.

And it's funny to talk about how bad John must be in bed, but also, this isn't a scenario where John is some self-deluding Elon Musk-like villain or loser. He is genuinely trying to do the right thing, in terms of rescuing the Earth's population, rescuing the Earth Herself, and doing it ethically (see: M--'s insistence that they perfect the cryo containers until they could transport pregnant women).

I really do think this is something people are blocking out, because it is one of the uncomfortable parts of Muir's message with the series. But ESPECIALLY because the people "critiquing" him as an embodiment of patriarchy and empire are failing to see that part of Muir's critique is of human vulnerability to power: That is, that power corrupts.

And this even has echoes with Gideon & Harrow's story! Harrow begins the series in a deeply unequal dynamic with Gideon! And she does horrible things, not just because she is traumatized, but because she is traumatized and has the power to act her desires out on Gideon. She might have the motive (trauma), but that's not enough without the means (power).

And, yeah, I do have a semi-salty angle on this because people are frequently loath to think critically not just about axes of oppression but individual relationships of power when it applies to them and to people they like. ESPECIALLY when there is a very vocal segment of the fandom that is enthusiastically pro-harassment. It's very convenient to villainize John and actively dis-identify with him, because otherwise, you'd have to face the question of whether you'd do any better in his place. But the thing is, the mission of revenge he embarks on is a lot closer to many peoples' hearts than they'd like to consider.

That's the whole point.

#the locked tomb #john gaius #tlt meta #and let's be real--this is made easier by the fact that john is a man #given who the author is that's a meaningful choice. but it's not an uncomplicated one either

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connorsui · 3 months ago

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“Believing in love”

Sylus x fem! reader

Synopsis: Amidst the dazzling lights of a futuristic city, you confront your fears of love

Genre/warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, soft sylus, reader who doesn't believe in the concept of love, emotional trauma, vulnerability, discussions of betrayal, past trauma for reader, sylus just wants to love you for you and nothing else, hurt/Comfort, emotional healing, small fluff, slow burn, hints of trust issues

Note: okaaayyyyyyy I went overboard this was originally going to be a short imagine ..like maybe five hundred words or less with the concept: “I don't believe in love” and “I'll show you what it can be” – I wasn't planning on this to be a full fledged one shot…but hey …I ain't gonna complain any further my brain is just doing its job ✨️

w.c: 1.8K

The city hums beneath you, a symphony of noise and light, but your mind is far from the chaos below. You keep your gaze fixed on the skyline, as if it holds the answers you can’t seem to find. Beside you, Sylus’ breath is ragged, his desperation barely concealed as he clings to your wrist. You can feel the tremble in his fingers despite the firmness of his grip, as though he’s trying to hold you together—or perhaps, to keep you from drifting away.

“Why do you always attempt to leave me? What is it that I’m doing wrong?” His voice is soft, almost pleading, a rare break in his usually stoic demeanor. He’s searching your face for something—anything—but you remain still, letting the weight of his words hang in the air.

He clutches you tighter, not forcefully, but in a way that tells you he’s afraid you might vanish into the night, just like the countless times before. The emptiness in your silence gnaws at him, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything.

“Sweetheart…” His voice cracks, the word nearly lost in the wind. “I’m not one to beg, but if it means I’ll get an answer from you, then I’ll lower myself.”

You glance down as you hear the rustle of fabric, your eyes catching the sight of Sylus sinking to one knee. A proud man, reduced to pleading. The weight of his devotion presses down on you, suffocating in ways you hadn’t expected.

“I wish for an answer. Any answer from you.”

But still, you say nothing. The flood of emotions you’ve buried for so long stirs within you, threatening to overwhelm. The city lights blur in your vision, turning into a kaleidoscope of glowing orbs, and suddenly, your throat tightens. You want to speak, but the words are tangled in your chest, caught in the rising tide of emotion.

“It’s… it’s not that I wish to ignore everything you’ve done,” you start, your voice shaky and weak, barely audible over the rushing wind. “It doesn’t mean I hate you, or that you're not trying hard enough. I care for you. I do.”

Your breath hitches, your heart pounding against your ribs, as tears, hot and unrelenting, streak down your face.

“I want to love you, Sylus. I want to be near you every day, to feel what it means to love someone, to truly understand it. But I…” Your voice cracks, the word foreign on your tongue. Your chest tightens, the familiar sting of betrayal flashing in your mind, the memories you’ve fought so hard to suppress now rushing back in vivid detail.

Before you can break down any further, Sylus pulls you close, his arms wrapping around you like a shield from the world. His warmth seeps into you, steadying you amidst the storm inside.

“Shhh… it’s alright. Come here.”

His voice is soothing, and for a moment, you let yourself relax in his hold. You breathe out slowly, though each exhale feels labored. Your chest rises and falls as you try to calm the sobs threatening to tear through you. His hands gently cradle your face as he wipes the tears away with the pad of his thumb, his touch delicate but firm, as if assuring you he won’t let go.

“I’m scared…” Your words spill out between quiet gasps, your chest heaving as you finally let out the weight you’ve carried for so long. “I’m so scared, Sylus. I’ve loved before, countless times… and neither time was it ever given back.”

Sylus' embrace tightens, his chin resting atop your head as he rocks you gently. His voice, though calm, carries a raw edge of determination, as though he’s willing his words into reality.

“I can show you what it can be,” he whispers against your ear. “I’ll show you what love should feel like, what it should be… No one in this entire city is more deserving of that than you.”

His hand rests against your back, moving in slow, soothing circles.

“I just need you to believe in me. let me show you that I can give you the love you’ve been searching for.”

You close your eyes, the weight of his words settling into your chest, pushing against the wall you’ve built around your heart. For a moment, there’s only the sound of your breathing, the quiet murmur of the city below, and the cold wind that carries the scent of the night sky. Moonlight bathes the two of you, casting silver across the rooftop as if the world has stilled for this one moment.

And though the fear still lingers at the edges of your mind, something shifts within you. Perhaps it’s the warmth of his touch, or the sincerity in his voice. But for the first time, you allow yourself to believe in the possibility.

Yet he keeps himself steady, his grip tightens—not out of force, but from desperation, as if he’s holding on to more than just your body. He’s holding on to the very idea of you, of the two of you.

“I don’t need you to say you love me, not now, not in this hour, not tomorrow” he murmurs into your hair. “I just need you to trust that I will. That I already do.”

His words pierce through the walls you’ve spent so long building. The fortress around your heart cracks, letting in the first tendrils of warmth you’ve felt in ages. You try to push him away, afraid of being vulnerable, but his hold remains firm—not possessive, just secure. Safe.

“But Sylus—” you whisper between breaths, your voice breaking.

“I’m not like you. I don’t know how to—how to do this. Every time… I let someone in, they ripped pieces out of me until there was nothing left to give...so, even if you say you love me… what can I give you..when there's nothing? ”

He pulls back slightly, just enough to meet your gaze. His red eyes soften, the intensity that so often burned with dominance now a smoldering ember of understanding.

“You think there’s nothing left to give,” he murmurs, “but every broken piece of you is still yours to offer. And I’ll take them, even if they don’t fit together perfectly. I don’t care if you feel shattered. I’ll hold onto every fragment until you’re ready to trust me with the rest.”

Your chest heaves as you fight for control over your emotions, but the more you resist, the harder it becomes. Sylus’s steady gaze undoes you. How could someone like him—so powerful, so untouchable—look at you as if you were the most fragile thing in the universe?

“ — and yet there will be days you think I don’t know fear?” he continues, his voice low, barely above a whisper. “You think I don’t wonder every day if I’m enough for you? That I’ll lose you before you ever truly belonged to me?”

The vulnerability in his words makes you flinch. You’ve seen Sylus command entire fleets, face enemies without a trace of fear, and yet here he is, baring himself before you. It’s too much—too raw. But it’s also exactly what you needed to hear.

“I’m not a perfect man, and I won’t pretend I am," he adds. "But I will never stop trying for you. Not for a second or an hour or a day of my life"

His thumb brushes the last of your tears away, and for a moment, all that exists is the sound of the wind whipping around you, the lights of the city flickering beneath your feet, and the quiet hum of your hearts—one racing, the other steady.

You finally exhale, the weight of your emotions loosening its grip just enough for you to speak again.

“What if I’m broken?” you choke out. “What if there’s nothing left that is untouched for you to love?”

Sylus’s lips quirk into a sad but tender smile.

“It doesn't matter if any part of you is left …untouched ” he says softly. “When I mean I would love ..you ..I mean you .. Every part of you…that I have fallen in love with”

His words settle into you like a balm, soothing wounds you didn’t realize were still bleeding. You’ve spent so long believing that love was something to fear, something that would eventually turn on you and leave you empty. But Sylus is showing you a different kind of love—one that doesn’t demand perfection but offers patience. One that doesn’t expect you to be whole but promises to stay, even when you’re not.

Your body, tense and guarded for so long, begins to relax in his arms. You close your eyes and lean into him fully for the first time, allowing yourself to be held—not because you’re weak, but because, for once, you don’t have to be strong.

You stay like that for what feels like hours, wrapped up in each other as the city continues its ceaseless rhythm below. The cold air bites at your skin, but neither of you care. Not when the warmth of Sylus’s embrace keeps the rest of the world at bay.

Eventually, you speak again, your voice quieter, more vulnerable than before.

“I don’t know how to let go” you admit.

Sylus shifts slightly, enough to look into your eyes again.

“And, you don’t have to,” he replies. “I’m not asking you to forget anything that has happened to you then or anything that has happened to you in the months or years away. I just wish for you to allow me to be part of your future.”

Your breath hitches, but you don’t pull away this time. Instead, you let the weight of his words sink in. He isn’t asking for grand promises or declarations. He’s asking for a chance—a chance to be the person you turn to, the one who stays when others would leave.

“Would you allow me?” Sylus asks softly, almost pleading.

“Can you let me in?”

There’s a long pause as the world around you holds its breath. Then, finally, you nod.

“Yes,” you whisper, voice trembling. “I’ll try.”

And with that, the dam inside you breaks. For the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, you can learn to love again.

Sylus would show you how much you mean to him ..✨️

#suiwrites🍒#sylus x reader #love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #lnds x reader #l&ds x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace x you #love and deepspace x mc #sylus x you #sylus x mc #sylus x y/n #lads sylus x reader #lads x you #lnds sylus x reader #l&ds sylus x reader #lnds sylus #lads sylus #l&ds sylus

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emmafrostyyy · 1 year ago

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y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

#when he gets called by omeluum “child of the dark” and her “child of the stars” like yeah..the squid man is being literal but he Gets It fr.#lae'zel #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #astarion ancunin #astarion x lae'zel #lae'zel x astarion #the rarest of rarepairs they dont even got a ship name...this is so tragique we need to discuss the pathos and potential of this pairing #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 astarion #also im a sucker for stoic knight/court darling trope and whatever variations of it yeah #bloodbruise

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solxamber · 3 months ago

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If its alright for you^^ Can you do Malleus, Vil, and Jade with gn reader being an angel (reader inspired to Robin fron Hsr and also Columbina, or seraphim if thats what they both are). Being and Ethereal—how would they be in a relationship with Reader? Write how you like! Also could you write a little angst on Vil envying because reader is much more beautiful than him.

Malleus, Vil, Jade with an Angel! reader

I hope I've interpreted it correctly and I hope you like it <3

Malleus Draconia

Being in a relationship with someone as ethereal as you—a being reminiscent of a seraphim, with an almost divine presence—would captivate Malleus in ways even he didn’t fully understand. Your wings, your aura, everything about you felt ancient, otherworldly, and yet, in your company, he felt something warm and grounding.

He’d spend countless nights with you under the stars, speaking of things beyond mortal comprehension, your shared silence often saying more than words ever could. He cherished how you never treated him with fear but rather saw him as an equal, someone to confide in, to trust, to protect.

However, Malleus couldn't shake the feeling of uncertainty at times. While he was powerful, revered, and feared, you were something altogether different—transcendent. Your beauty wasn’t just physical; it was the kind of grace that belonged to myths, a presence so strong that even the most stubborn fae would bow their heads to you.

He’d watch you as you moved gracefully, your wings casting soft, shimmering light that seemed to ease his darkest thoughts. Malleus loved you deeply, but there were moments where he pondered: how long would this peace last? Could someone as divine as you ever truly remain grounded by someone like him?

And yet, each time those doubts surfaced, you’d turn to him with a gentle smile, sensing his unease. “Malleus, I chose you. Not because of your power or your lineage, but because of your heart.” And in those moments, Malleus knew that no matter how distant the stars seemed, you’d always stand by his side.

Vil Schoenheit

Vil Schoenheit, a man who built his world on beauty and perfection, found himself in a relationship with someone whose very existence redefined those concepts. Your ethereal presence—a being so breathtaking that even the sun seemed to shine less brightly in comparison—challenged everything Vil once held dear.

He adored you, admired you, but in the quiet moments of solitude, envy crept into his heart. How could he, the man known for his flawless appearance and impeccable standards, ever compare to you? His reflection in the mirror seemed duller these days, his beauty pale in comparison to your effortless grace.

Vil wouldn’t voice his insecurities, of course. He was Vil Schoenheit, after all—poised, confident, and above all, perfect. But you could see the cracks in his armor, the way he looked at you sometimes, like he was searching for a flaw that didn’t exist.

One evening, after a particularly intense photoshoot, Vil found himself alone with you, the two of you resting in his dressing room. You could feel his tension, the way he was fidgeting, unusually quiet. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper.

“Sometimes... I wonder what it's like for you,” Vil murmured, not meeting your eyes. “To be so effortlessly beautiful. To have all eyes on you, not because of your hard work, but because... because you simply are.”

You reached for his hand, your touch soft, like the brush of an angel’s wing. “Vil,” you began gently, your voice carrying a soothing quality. “Your beauty is more than what people see on the outside. You work hard, you inspire others, and your drive is what draws people to you.”

He shook his head, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. “But it’s not enough, is it? I will never be able to match you.”

You cupped his face, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Vil, I never asked for you to match me. I fell in love with you—your strength, your vulnerability, your passion. You don’t need to be more than who you are. You’re already enough for me.”

Vil closed his eyes, letting your words sink in, though the jealousy still lingered in the recesses of his mind. But, for tonight, with you by his side, he allowed himself to believe that maybe—just maybe—he didn’t need to compare himself to the divine when you already saw him as someone irreplaceable.

Jade Leech

Jade would find your ethereal nature endlessly fascinating. From the first moment he saw you, he knew there was something different about you. Your wings, your almost serene grace—everything about you was an enigma, something he wanted to unravel.

In his mind, you were a creature of beauty, but also of great mystery. He loved the way your mere presence could change the atmosphere in a room, turning the mundane into something almost magical. He loved even more how you seemed unphased by the chaotic nature of his twin, Floyd, or the dangerous waters of Octavinelle.

"Fascinating," Jade would often muse, his eyes gleaming with curiosity whenever he caught you mid-flight or gazing at the ocean, as if seeing it through otherworldly eyes.

You would tease him for it, smirking as you caught his stare. “You know, you don’t have to analyze me like one of your mushroom specimens.”

He’d chuckle, not denying it in the slightest. “Can you blame me? You’re far more intriguing than any mushroom I’ve encountered.”

While you remained an enigma, your kind and grounded nature endeared you to Jade in ways he couldn’t quite explain. You had this ability to see through his carefully constructed facade, to touch the softer parts of him he rarely let anyone witness. Whenever he was feeling particularly mischievous or cryptic, you had a way of disarming him with just a smile or a well-timed quip.

One night, after hours spent exploring the coral reefs beneath the surface, the two of you floated together in the calm waters, stars reflecting off the surface above. He looked at you, his gaze softened by the water’s gentle ebb and flow.

“You’re like a rare treasure from the deepest trenches of the sea,” Jade whispered, voice low and contemplative. “Something that shouldn’t exist, and yet, here you are.”

You smiled softly, your wings brushing against the water as you drifted closer to him. “And yet, here we are,” you echoed, leaning into his embrace.

Jade, despite his usual composed and calculating nature, found something precious in the way you balanced him, in the way your kindness and ethereal presence made him feel less like a creature of the depths and more like someone who could reach the surface—if only for you.

Masterlist

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia #malleus #vil x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #vil #vil schoenheit #jade x reader #jade leech x reader #jade leech #jade

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retroaria · 4 months ago

Text

Michael Kaiser. That’s it. That’s the post.

i’m having kaiser thoughts. i’m pondering my orb, and all it’s showing me is michael kaiser. the evil voices in my head (my ask box) are taunting me (sending very nice requests) to sell my soul to michael kaiser (finally write something about him) and so here i am.

summary: random kaiser hc’s (lmk if you want more/nsfw ones)

BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy 🪽 - aria

• thinking about how possessive he would be in a relationship. it isn’t overbearing, in the sense that he trusts you and lets you do you’re own thing. however, he’s a rather insecure man behind all that smug douchebaggery that he puts off and he has a hard time watching you interact with other men of his same stature. because truly, no matter how good he is to you, he isn’t the best person all around. there are guys out there that would be better for you and he can’t help be fear that you’ll be swept off your feet and taken from him.

• Kaiser is gentle with you. you actually turned him into a completely different person. It’s not that you’ve really changed him at his core, but you’ve opened him up to love he didn’t know before, and so he feels like he has nothing to be afraid of with you. he’s vulnerable and expressive and happy with you. he makes sure to provide that same experience for you in the relationship, making sure you always know you can go to him for anything and you don’t have to hide anything from him.

• In the beginning of the relationship, Kaiser is very protective of your privacy. He’s really afraid of the consequences that may come with the world knowing who you are and who you are to him. he’s not naive, he knows there’s bad people out there. not only that, but it’s no one else’s right to know you’re love for each other. i see him doing a soft launch and that’s it. after that he’ll post you on occasion and be a little less aggressive about hiding from paparazzi, but he still doesn’t want to share you. you’re his whole world, keyword HIS.

• kaiser LOVES intimacy. physical or emotional, he loves those sweet loving moments that come to fruition from the trust and bond the two of you have cultivated. he loves showering and taking baths with you, relishing in the gentle touches as the two of you clean each other up. they’re always filled with soft giggles and quick kisses, before drying each other off and snuggling up. he loves listening to you talk about your day, not sparing him from details you may have spared others from. telling him all the thoughts and actions you aren’t proud of, unafraid of being judged in his eyes. the vulnerability of it all makes his heart beat fast, but you’re both so trusting and in love that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

• this might be a hot take, but i feel like the concept of marriage would scare him a bit. it’s not that he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with you, because he absolutely does and already plans on it. it’s just a level of commitment that he never thought anyone would dedicate to him. he doesn’t want you to end up regretting it in the future. he doesn’t shy away from conversation about it though, he actually wants you guys to talk about it and get a feel for where you both stand. when the time comes to take that next step, he’s as ready as ever. just make sure you don’t break his heart please (or i’ll find you bro.)

• dates with kaiser can either be extravagant and classy or they can be chill and sweet, he can do both. sometimes he wants to take you to the nicest restaurants he can fine, see you all dolled up looking absolutely stunning for him, and pamper you the entire night. other times he just wants the two of you to do something fun and spontaneous, would take you to a fair and win you all the stuffed animals you want, or would take you on a stroll around the city, letting you frolick through the shops while he holds all your bags for you. he’s such a gentleman either way.

• kaiser loves being domestic with you. doing the laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, making dinner, he loves it. in those moments he finds himself wishing they would last forever, just the two of you existing in each others presence, he has nothing to worry about.

moon divider- @strangergraphics-archive

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reidmarieprentiss · 4 months ago

Text

Something Better

Summary: You overhear Spencer and Diana talking about JJ's confession, it hits too hard with the issues you and Spencer have been experiencing.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: angst, hurt

Warnings/Includes: crying, insecurities, fighting, leaving

Word count: 2.5k

a/n: sorry!!!! i am notttt having a good time in my relationship (he doesn’t know we’re in a relationship)

main masterlist part two

The complexity of your relationship with Spencer had deepened significantly, ever since the enigmatic and dangerous Cat Adams had entered the picture. Understanding the nature of Spencer's job, you had been kept well-informed about his interactions with Cat, ensuring that you were on the same page with him throughout this unsettling chapter. You and Spencer had been together for four years, a relationship that was marked not only by affection but also by the trials that had weathered your joint experiences, including Spencer's traumatic stint in prison. Amidst the turmoil, recent events had only added to the strain: Spencer had once again found himself a hostage, and in those fraught moments, JJ had confessed her love for him.

This unexpected confession stirred a troubling mix of emotions within you. Despite your deep-seated trust and the solid foundation you had built together, insecurities bubbled to the surface. The knowledge of Spencer's initial crush on JJ during his early days at the BAU added layers of doubt and fear. You couldn't help but wonder about the what-ifs—whether Spencer harbored any regrets about the path he had chosen with you instead.

—

As you held the tray with steaming mugs of tea, the warmth of the ceramic seeping into your palms, your intention was simple: to bring a small comfort to the room where Spencer and his mother, Diana, were deep in conversation. But the words that drifted through the slightly ajar door halted you in your tracks, the comforting heat from the cups suddenly replaced by a cold grip of fear tightening around your heart.

“You think that’s what I’ve been doing? Closing myself off to possibilities because I’m waiting for JJ?” Spencer's voice carried a mix of confusion and introspection, a tone you recognized all too well.

“I hope not,” Diana’s response was gentle, yet it carried an undeniable weight of concern.

The gravity of the conversation, the raw honesty of the words spoken, pierced through the veil of assurances and understandings that had surrounded your relationship with Spencer. The mention of JJ, with the concept of ‘possibilities’ he might be closing off, struck a vulnerable chord. It echoed the very insecurities that had been gnawing at you—fears of being a placeholder, of not being the ultimate choice but rather the safe harbor in the storm of his complex life.

The impact of this realization was instantaneous and visceral. The ceramic mugs slipped from your numb fingers, shattering on the floor as a symbolic fracture mirrored in your composure. A sob escaped your lips—a sound of pain so raw it seemed to carry the weight of every doubt and every shadow of fear that had gathered in the corners of your relationship.

“What was that?” Diana’s voice was sharp with alarm, slicing through the tense air as the sound of the breaking mugs echoed down the hall.

Unable to face them, to see the concern or confusion on Spencer’s face, you turned and fled down the hallway. The coolness of the walls was a stark contrast to the pain burning inside you as each step took you further from the room, from the conversation, from the man you loved yet suddenly felt miles away from. Your mind raced, caught in a whirlwind of emotion and a desperate need for solitude, a space to breathe and to grasp the full meaning of what you had just overheard.

“I’ll go check it out, Mom,” Spencer said, patting his moms hands.

Spencer's heart thudded with increasing urgency as he navigated the hallway, his eyes scanning the chaotic scene of shattered mugs and spilled tea, a silent testament to a sudden departure fueled by distress. "Y/N?" he called out again, his voice tinged with confusion and concern. The lack of response only heightened his worry, each unanswered call amplifying the fear that something was profoundly wrong.

As he passed by a window, his gaze inadvertently swept over the driveway, catching the sight of you getting into your car. The pieces clicked together in his mind, albeit without understanding the why behind your actions. His concern morphed into sheer panic, propelling him into a jog as he made his way swiftly towards the front door, his mind racing with possible reasons for your abrupt exit.

Reaching the door, he flung it open and stepped out into the cool air, his breath visible in the quiet of the afternoon. "Y/N, wait!" he shouted, hoping to catch your attention before you could drive away. His voice carried a desperate edge, a plea woven through the urgency.

Spencer's mind was a whirlwind of worry and bewilderment. He had no clue what had triggered your sudden need to escape, no understanding of the emotional turmoil that had driven you to such a rapid departure. As he jogged towards the car, his only thought was to stop you, to understand, to fix whatever had gone wrong, unaware of the conversation you had overheard and the doubts it had reignited within you.

He reached the car just as you were about to start the engine, his expression full of fear, confusion, and concern. His hands gestured slightly, asking for a moment of your time, his eyes pleading for you to stay, to talk, to explain what had caused this rift to suddenly appear between you.

As the window descended, revealing your tear-streaked face and the distress clearly written across your features, Spencer’s heart sank even further. The sight of you so visibly upset was enough to tighten the already squeezing panic in his chest.

“What happened?” he asked again, his voice rough from the sprint and the growing dread. He leaned closer, his eyes searching yours for an answer, for anything that could explain the sudden shift in the day.

“I don’t want to hold you back from anything,” you managed to say between sniffles, the words muffled slightly by your emotional state. Your voice was thick with pain, each word laden with the weight of your fears.

“What?” Spencer’s confusion deepened, his brows knitting together as he tried to decipher the meaning behind your words. His face fell, a mix of worry and incomprehension as he struggled to connect the dots. He reached out tentatively, resting his hand against the car door, needing some physical connection to bridge the gap that the conversation had opened between you.

“You’re not holding me back, Y/N. Please, tell me what’s going on,” Spencer urged, his tone softening, trying to provide a calm amid the storm of emotions swirling around you both. His eyes held yours, filled with concern and a plea for clarity, as he tried to understand the source of your sudden decision to leave.

As you struggled with the words, each one a reflection of the turmoil within, Spencer's expression shifted from confusion to a dawning realization of the depth of your concerns.

"Why haven't you proposed, Spencer?" The question came out choked, a manifestation of the culmination of doubts and fears that had been gathering, fueled by recent events and lingering insecurities.

"Y/N...what? What is happening?" Spencer's voice was tinged with a blend of confusion and fear, grappling with the sudden confrontation of an issue he hadn't realized was so pressing in your mind.

You shook your head slowly, signaling the seriousness of your need for an answer. "Just answer me," you said quietly, a firm resolve underlying your soft tone.

"I don't... I don't know," Spencer admitted, his voice faltering. His uncertainty was palpable, reflecting his own confusion about the future and his feelings about where your relationship stood, especially in light of his recent traumas and challenges.

"That's not good enough for me," you stated, the pain in your voice evident as you began to roll up the window, a physical manifestation of the emotional barrier you felt compelled to erect in the face of his indecision.

Spencer's heart raced as he saw the window closing, a barrier rising not just between him and the outside air, but between him and you. He placed his hand against the glass, a silent plea for you to stop and listen.

"Please, Y/N, wait," Spencer's voice cracked, his usual composure unraveled by the intensity of the moment. "I love you. I'm just... I've been dealing with a lot, and I didn't realize you felt this way. Can we just talk about this? Please?" His words rushed out in a torrent of emotion, a mix of apology and confusion, desperately trying to bridge the growing gap with his earnestness and vulnerability.

The tension in the air thickened as you left the window half-cracked, Spencer stood rooted to the spot, his heart heavy with the burden of your words.

"I know you’re going through a lot...I understand, I’ve been here with you through it all," you said, your voice steadier now, each word deliberate. Taking a deep breath, you lifted your gaze to meet Spencer's, the pain in your eyes a clear reflection of the turmoil within. "Are you waiting for something better?"

The question hit Spencer like a physical blow, leaving him momentarily breathless, his mind reeling. "Something better? You’re the best there is, Y/N," he managed to say, his voice laden with sincerity and a touch of desperation, wanting nothing more than to dispel your doubts.

That response, however, triggered a shift from sadness to anger. "Then why did you tell your mom you’re waiting for JJ?" you yelled, the volume of your voice a stark contrast to the quiet despair of moments before.

Spencer's face paled, the accusation and the misunderstanding cutting deep. "No, Y/N, that’s not what I meant," he stammered, his mind racing to correct the misunderstanding. "It was taken out of context. I was talking about not closing myself off to healing, to moving forward with my life, which means with you. JJ's confession threw me off, yes, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love you, and I'm not waiting for anyone else."

He stepped closer to the car, his expression earnest, almost pleading. "I haven't proposed because I've been scared—scared of not being enough for you with all my baggage. But I know that's no excuse. You deserve certainty, and I've been unfair. I'm sorry for making you feel this way."

Spencer’s eyes searched yours, looking for any sign of understanding or forgiveness, hoping his words could bridge the gap that had opened up between you, driven by fears and miscommunications.

Your glare didn't waver as Spencer began to unravel the layers of the conversation you had misinterpreted, each word weighed with a heavy mix of regret and urgency to clarify the misunderstanding. He shifted uncomfortably under your intense gaze, knowing how crucial this moment was to salvage the trust and future of your relationship.

“Bullshit,” you had said, the sharpness in your voice slicing through the air.

“What?” Spencer’s confusion was evident, a mixture of desperation and hurt flashing across his features.

“That’s bullshit, Spencer. Tell me the truth,” you pressed, your voice firm, demanding honesty over comforting lies.

Spencer took a deep, steadying breath, recognizing the necessity of complete transparency. “Fine. My mom…she wants grandkids, she wanted to know why we hadn’t given her any. I told her the truth, I’m scared to bring children into this world.” His admission came out in a rush, a confession of his deepest fears about fatherhood and the future.

You continued to glare, silently urging him to continue, to explain every nuance of the conversation that had driven you to such a state of distress.

“She asked if I thought JJ made a mistake having kids. I didn’t know what to say. She thought I was being quiet because I was upset about JJ being with Will, which I am not—definitely not. And that’s what you must have heard,” Spencer explained, his voice earnest, pleading with you to understand the context and his true feelings.

The air between you seemed charged with his words, each sentence he spoke unraveling the knot of misunderstanding that had tightened around your heart. His explanation painted a different picture, one not of longing for another but of fear and apprehension about a future he felt unequipped to navigate.

Your expression softened slightly, the initial rush of anger ebbing as the truth of his words began to resonate. The misunderstanding had morphed your fear into anger, but with his honest explanation, the foundations of trust began to show signs of mending.

Spencer watched you carefully, gauging your reaction, hoping that his honesty and the vulnerability he displayed would be enough to start healing the rift that had formed. His eyes conveyed a silent plea for forgiveness, his posture open and unguarded as he stood before you, laid bare by his confessions.

“Okay,” you had said simply, leaving Spencer clinging to that word as if it were a lifeline in the turbulent sea of your relationship.

“Okay? Is that—is that all? Are we okay?” His voice was tinged with uncertainty, searching for more reassurance, more solidity than the ambiguous affirmation offered.

“I don’t know,” you replied, the honesty in your voice reflecting the turmoil within.

“Y/N...please, I love you so much,” Spencer implored, his words thick with emotion, his eyes begging you to see the depth of his sincerity.

“I love you too, but saying it and showing it are two different things,” you sighed, the weariness in your voice painting a vivid picture of your emotional state. “You’re my world, Spencer. I just want to feel like I’m yours too. Can I go please?”

His heart sank with those words, a stark reminder of the disconnect that had formed between your perceptions of the relationship. “Go? Go where? You’re leaving?” The panic was evident in his voice, his mind racing through scenarios of loss and loneliness.

“I need to be alone right now. Can you catch a cab?” you asked, your tone resolute yet gentle, not wanting to hurt him but needing the space to sort through your swirling thoughts.

“Are you breaking up with me?” The question was out before he could stop it, a fear-driven reflex.

“No,” was your simple, firm reply, a small comfort amid the storm.

Spencer nodded, accepting your need even as it pained him. “I can get a cab. I love you, darling. So, so, so much.” His words were a whispered caress, an affirmation of everything he felt, everything he hoped for despite the current heartache.

“I love you too,” you responded, a whisper of reciprocation that served as a temporary balm to his aching heart.

With that, you drove off, leaving Spencer watching the space where you had been, his mind heavy with love and fear. He pulled out his phone to arrange a ride, his heart clenching in his chest.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list <333 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite @fanfic-viewer @bootylovers44 @atheniandrinkscoffee @niktwazny303 @dead-universe @hbwrelic @kniselle

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luveline · 1 year ago

Note

would you ever be willing to write the day spencer and stripper!reader met in the grocery store? i’ve always loved the concept when you’ve referenced it in the story, i would love to read it👀 you’re absolutely incredible and i can never say anything not anon to you because my blog is flooding you with notes constantly and i’m embarrassed😅

thank you for your request ❤️ fem!reader, 1.5k

cw for domestic violence and workplace abuse

There's this weird organic grocery store by Spencer's place that's far too expensive, but it's a ten minute walk, so that's where he goes. (Weird in separation to organic.)

He needs a lot of groceries now he's home for the week. Bread, vegetables, rice, flour if he wants to try and make pancakes, which he does. He also needs a new pen to write a letter for his mom, but Leaven is slightly too small for a stationery section.

He doesn't know what he'll say to her in this one. Maybe that the cases he's going on are easy, or that he's been reading about crows. She's not feeling well lately. It might help her to know he's doing gentle things, even if it isn't true.

No, he thinks. Can't lie to her. He never lies to his mom.

Eggs. Sugar. Coffee grounds. He fills his cart. It'll be a lot to carry on the way home, but better to do it in one go. He likes keeping busy but he's a human being, too, and he's looking forward to spending at least sixteen hours in bed after dinner tonight.

You look tired, too.

Your back is turned, but Spencer knows it's you. You must live close by, he's been seeing you duck in and out for months. Usually with a loaf of bread or a single box of painkillers tucked in your pocket. You don't steal, he'd be able to tell, and he wouldn't say anything if you did, anyways. All he knows about you is that you have a nice smile when you have the energy, and your voice is like silk. Purposeful or by nature, he's yet to guess.

You're standing by the end of the aisle near the checkouts with a basket hanging from your fingers. All you're buying today is a box of pancake mix and a bag of peas.

Weird, he thinks with a smile. Spencer likes weird stuff. It's quirky.

You turn to see which checkout is empty and Spencer's smile abruptly drops.

You have a bruise across half of your face. It isn't strictly fresh —he can see the split skin on your cheek starting to close in on itself, and your purpled eye is open (though barely). You're frowning. Spencer knows how bad it hurts to get hurt like that. For a split second he can't believe someone could do that to another person, and then he remembers the hundreds of women he's had the privilege to meet at their most vulnerable, who trusted him, and he thinks maybe he's capable of helping another one.

“Hey,” he says.

You meet his eyes with a funny smile. “Hey. Sorry, am I in the way?” you ask, your voice stretched, thin but not weak.

“No, you're not, it's… I see you here all the time.”

You hold your breath. When you talk, it rushes out. “So?” you ask wearily.

“Are you okay?”

Your funny smile fades as Spencer's had. He supposes that's the talent of cruelty. Even when it's over, it's not truly over. Your bruise still hurts, and Spencer still needs to know you'll be okay when you go home tonight.

“I see you all the time too. We've… we've actually spoken before, haven't we?” you ask after a moment.

“Yeah, about spirometry. I was out of breath running and–” It doesn't matter. You asked him if he was okay, and he explained that he was, just that his lungs don't hold much air on account of his own laziness, and it doesn't matter. “Are you? Alright? It's a bad bruise.”

“It's getting better.”

It might be, but there's something so raw about seeing you standing there in your sweatpants too big for you and a hoodie with a hole in it, purple and yellow contusion across your eyes and nose like the clumsy stroke of a paintbrush. Spencer will admit to feeling sorry for you.

“Can I talk to you?” he asks, knowing this isn't the right place. “There's the cafe at the front? Let me pay for my stuff and–”

“I'm really okay–”

“You had a cast on your wrist two weeks ago and now you're here with a limp and a really bad bruise,” he says softly, imploringly, “I just wanna talk to you about it. You don't have to say yes, I'm not trying to be weird, but I–”

You cut off his mile a minute speech with a small smile. “Okay. I'm not, you know, doing anything anyways. It'll be nice to sit down.”

Spencer knows it's dumb, but he wants to show he has good intentions. He takes your basket out of your hands and nods toward the cafe past the checkouts. “I'll come and meet you.”

“You don't have to,” you say, gesturing at the basket.

“The damage is done, right? This place is ridiculous.” He doesn't like the way you're holding your hip. It makes him feel sick, even though there's no proof one way or another to say you've been hurt beyond your bruising.

He pays for his things and yours and meets you at the cafe. He's half expecting you to have bolted, but you sit at a table near the entrance, completely still.

Spencer puts his two bags under the table and offers you your pancake mix and peas in their own bag.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“It was my boss.” You look at your fingers, spreading them slowly over the table top. “I’m a dancer. Sorry. I know you’re going to ask.”

“And he hit you?”

“Yeah.”

Spencer knows the number for every women’s shelter in every state, but he doubts it would matter to you. He can tell already that you’d say no. He can tell you’re scared, even if you don’t realise it yourself. “Is it getting worse?”

You can’t offer him anything else. He understands how that feels. There have been moments where he desperately wanted to tell someone, anyone, what was going on in his life, but he always holds his secrets like a perpetual ache in his throat. It’s like he can’t tell someone, even if they ask.

Sometimes he just wishes they’d ask twice.

“You can tell me. It won’t sound stupid,” he promises. He’s in some odd place between Agent Reid and young, terrified Spencer, determined to help you, but not sure how. “It’s getting worse, right?”

“Yeah,” you say, the weight of tears on your tongue.

“You’re a dancer. Is he just a boss– Does he… abuse you financially?”

You laugh wetly. “He’s not my pimp.”

He can feel his face heating up.’“No, but do you get paid on time? Everything you earn?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t get paid on time. He takes a percentage, and somehow there’s always another percentage, and then discipline. And now…”

“Now he’s hitting you.” Very badly.

“I’m not stupid.”

Spencer frowns gently, talks softly, “I didn’t mean to imply that you were.”

“No, I know, but I need you to know I’m not stupid. When we talked before, you– you’re so smart, I bet you know so many smart people.”

He’s not sure where you’re going with this. Perhaps you don’t want to talk about being hurt anymore. It must be a kind of torture to be hurting and know that that hurting will come again. There isn’t an end in sight for you, just right now.

“Can I buy you something to eat?”

“I have money,” you say, taking your small purse from your pocket. There are a few notes wedged inside.

“You can’t take painkillers on an empty stomach, and you should take painkillers again soon. You had some before you came, and they’re wearing off.” He meets your confused frown with a frown of his own. “Your hands are twitching like you want to move away from yourself.”

“You’re very perceptive,” you say in that smooth murmur. Power clawed back, he thinks. You’re protecting one of the things you can control about how you’re seen when everything else is far from it.

“I’m a profiler. Do you,” —he tries not to sound hoity toity— “know what that is?”

“No.”

“I’m an FBI agent.” You’re laughing as he takes out his badge. He joins you. “I know it sounds like I’m making it up.” Spencer offers you his identification passport slowly, so you know he isn’t wielding it around to be an asshole. “I’m in the behavioural analysis unit. We analyse the way people act. That’s why I know you’re in pain.”

You take his badge, looking between his photo and his real face with a growing smile. “If you need all that to know I’m in pain, you’re not as smart as you think,” you tease, gesturing to the mottled skin of your bruise sweetly.

Spencer buys you both cold sandwiches from the front of the shop and a drink to wash down your aspirin. It’s awkward, he guesses, but he’s used to that by now, and under it he can feel your palpable relief. You trust him to not hurt you, if nothing else, and he can work with that.

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