#same goes for drinking/drugs tbh

[opticsel]

crazy to think that people my age want to have sex… and that many of them have had sex before… and that they are actively seeking out people to have sex with….. and that they talk about sex with their other sex-having friends……. couldn’t be me but y’all have fun tho! stay safe out there and stuff

[seancekitsch]

Falling Hard, Failing Fast: A Hughie Campbell x Reader fic!

You get dosed with... a mystery drug made by Vought. Hughie is a good friend and stays with you while you monitor the side effects.

Warnings: sloppy sex pollen trope usage, dubcon turned just normal con, drugging, friends to lovers under upsetting circumstances, foreplay, sappy missionary, not my best work tbh

“What did they get her with?” Butcher asks, his voice near a yell through the receiver. 

Hughie traps his phone between his ear and his shoulder and waves his fingers in front of your face, struggling to get you to focus your eyes. Everything blurs around the edges, the same way blood rushes against your ear drums. All you can focus on though is heat, heat in your knees buckling, heat in Hughie’s other arm around your torso to keep you upright, heat in your head that plunges down your front and settles under your pants. 

All you can offer is a weak shake of your head to no one in particular. You don’t know. All you know is heat, and that you’re fading fast. 

“I think it’s bad, it was all over her,” Hughie says. He had watched a guard pull something that looked like pepper spray into your face, and he ran into the mist of it to pull you away and back up the stairs, begging you to stay upright the whole time. 

“I can’t—“ you mumble, your head falling back against Hughie’s shoulder. Relief, like a cool drink of water, trickles into you at the contact. You need more, you need—

You sober up, almost, as fear cools the fire under your skin momentarily. Your head snaps up, and Hughie immediately goes on the alert.

“Get away from me!” your voice shakes, but it's the most clear you’ve sounded since Hughie grabbed you. 

“What? No—,” he stops himself, confused, “No, we have to get you somewhere safe.”

He hangs up the phone in a panic as you try to pull away from him, throwing yourself towards the cold brick wall. He recaptures you, steadying you as you keep trying to lurch away. His bare hand against your arm feels like a white hot poker, feels like he's burning you, but you want it. You want to feel what those burning hands feel like moving across your skin, want to feel the pain they'll leave in their wake; part of you imagines they'd leave a trail of destruction like a forest fire, marks of Hughie all over your skin.

Another wave of heat hits you, this time forcing an embarrassing moan from your lips as you double over, stumbling down the hallway with Hughie still painfully attached to you. There's a basement apartment being used as a safe house up ahead, and if you can just get to a bed, or a couch, or even the floor to sweat this out you’ll be fine and maybe survive with your dignity.

You hear Hughie curse as you try to pick up speed, your sweaty hands clawing at his grasp on you. You don’t care if you seem insane in this moment, you just need to barricade yourself in…. alone. 

Hughie helps you in, punching in the door code on the lockbox and fumbling with the key once it’s free, while you lean into the door frame, sweat starting to gather at your hairline. Once the door is open, you practically throw yourself in. The safe house is scarce; a simple kitchen with a can of corn on the counter, a navy futon, a radio, a folding chair, a bathroom. Dread pools in your stomach, settling right above the heat churning, as you realize: Hughie is not going to leave you alone in a place like this. 

You shrug him off, dropping yourself to lay flat on the floor, your face to the ceiling. You screw your eyes shut, the muscles of your face hurting from how hard you’re trying to hide yourself from this. You must look like a fucking mess to Hughie, you realize, with sweat starting to coat your skin and your chest heaving as you struggle not to writhe on the floor in pain. 

He rushes to the sink in the sad excuse for a kitchen, running the tap with water. Hughie mumbles to himself while he searches the cupboards for a cup or a mug. 

You stare up at the off white ceiling- one of those sloppy paint jobs a slumlord does to turn a profit. It probably covers mold.

You pray silently that Hughie brings you water and leaves you the fuck alone before you embarass yourself any more than you already have. At some point the heat has to subside, right? At some point the painful desire in your gut has to fade away, right?

You close your eyes again, trying to block out the sensations you feel to no avail, the hopeless idea that if you hide from the situation it will go away. 

But then Hughie’s sneakers are shuffling across the cheap thin carpet towards you, and he sits down on the floor next to you instead of taking a seat on the futon. You put your hands on your face to try and further hide from him, and realize how big a mistake you just made. 

A low moan escapes your throat, relief from the heat not found, instead the same burning Hughie’s hands had on you in the hallway. Pleasure, embarrassing and wanton, shoots through you seemingly from the palms of your hands.

“What can I do for you?” he asks, and you can hear the dull thud of the mug he chose being placed on the ground. 

“Leave,” you pant out, your voice wavering and airy.

“Not gonna happen,” he immediately responds, a breath of a chuckle exhaled through his nose. It's silent for a minute, maybe more, time feels weird and far away right now. The world has stopped and you feel like you're melting.

And then that stabbing, burning, sublime pleasure erupts on your skin again. 

A strangled cry whines itself out between your closed lips as Hughie takes your hands in his own; a movement too tender and intimate for what you are.

“You’re so… hot,” Hughie whispers, concern laced in the edges of his voice. His touch sends shockwaves through you. You whimper pitifully as you finally open your eyes, just a crack. Worry is painted all over Hughie’s handsome face, his brows furrowed and eyes wide, his lips falling open. In this moment he looks like he would do anything for you, and you can't ask him to do this. You squeeze your eyes shut again, so tight you fear you may start tearing up. Hughie squeezes your hand in his, and you whimper again, your chest heaving and your body betraying you.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, “Are you hurt?”

You shake your head, no. Hurt isn’t exactly the word you’d use. Your limbs feel heavy, your head feels heavy, and Hughie’s touch feels like heaven, featherlight and fresh. 

You want him to keep squeezing your hand, you want him to squeeze other things, to grab you, those long fingers curling around your flesh. Another moan escapes your lips at the thought and Hughie freezes up. His hand drops yours, unfortunately. The heat rages again.

“Oh,” Hughie says, voice small. He searches your face, and as hard as you try to shy away from him, he still finds you.

“Is it touch?” he asks, “Something to do with me touching you?”

You nod, embarrassment flushing your features. 

“More? Less?” He presses, and it's so fucking sweet how much he wants to help you. It hurts how nice he’s being about this. You ache between your legs, and wish he would stop being so nice about this.

“More,” you plead, arching your back in discomfort. Hughie’s hands are back on you in an instant, pulling you up to sit so he can massage your shoulders. Your forehead falls onto his shoulder, and you move closer to him, your hands moving across his ribs. He leans into the embrace, his large hands guiding you to lean yourself onto him as he rubs circles into your skin, ripples of pleasure radiating out from each spot he touches. He switches from massaging you to just rubbing your back, his hands moving over your tee shirt and roaming the expanse of space.

His fingers trace your spine, stoking the fire and bringing you relief, if only slightly. You move similarly, hands feeling completely right as you try to follow the same patterns he traces along your back onto his.

“I need…” you beg him again, desperate and shameless. You’re gasping for breath as you continue to move against him, your hands moving up under his shirt, his back feeling almost cold under the heat of your hands. You dont miss the way Hughie shivers at your touch. He keeps rubbing your back, adding more pressure to his touch. You squirm against him and moan, and then Hughie stops.

He pulls you back by the shoulders. 

“Holy shit. Are you?” he asks, bewildered, but then something else crosses his features. Something you can't exactly read. 

“I think so,” you mumble, again trying to look away, trying to hide from him, “That’s why I wanted you to get away from me.”

Hughie seems to ponder this for a moment, his eyes searching your face, and then they dip lower. 

You’d be lying to yourself if you said you never thought of Hughie that way. 

“I can help? If- only if you want…” he trails off, unsure. You can’t agree to that, no matter how much you want to. It would feel amazing, his hands on you, roaming and groping and taking, his mouth on you. You shiver, not a chill.

“Help?” you echo, and that look you can't read crosses his features again.

“Like I could,” he pauses, finds the word, “Try to give you a hand?”

If you werent already burning up and soaking wet, you would be. How does Hughie sound so effortlessly arousing in a situation like this? Maybe its just the literal drug you were dosed with, though. Either way, it doesnt matter. You cling to him, nails starting to dig into his skin. 

“I- I couldn't ask you to-”

“But you’re not,” he interrupts, “I’m offering.”

He is offering. Offering to get you off as if thats a normal thing to offer one of your friends on a Wednesday afternoon. Like he’s offering to help you move or put together a book shelf. 

You pull yourself in closer to him again, resting your forehead back on his shoulder. It’s less embarrassing this way.

“Let’s try it,” you mumble into his chest. This way, you dont have to face him, you can hide from it and maybe keep a shred of your dignity.

He moves his hands lower, sliding them down to your hips. Hughie guides you back down, laying you out on the ground. He takes away your ability to hide from him. Now hovering over you, he smiles slightly as he takes you in. He steadily raises a hand, moves it down between the two of you, stopping over the button of your jeans.

“Can I?”

You only nod, no turning back now.

He undoes your jeans slowly, as if he’s the one with something to be nervous or shy about. His fingers are warm against the cool metal of you zipper, the sound as he drags it down mixing with the sound of you gasping for breath, a cacophony of desperation and nervous lust. 

Hughie leans back on the heels of his converse, his fingers hooking themselves under the hem of your jeans and pulling them down gently, care in every step. You whimper as you lift yourself up slightly, letting him pull the jeans over your thighs. He stops at your knees, your legs trapped in place by denim. 

“Okay?” he asks, and “okay,” you also confirm. So Hughie takes it a step further, his hand coming to the waistband of your underwear, a black mesh thong that really looks like you were asking to be dosed with sex mist, but ultimately the case of the fact that you had yet to do laundry this week and all of your comfortable briefs were sitting in the laundry bag ready to be carried down the steps of your walk-up.

His fingers dip below the fabric,and when his middle finger brushes the top of your slit your body contorts beyond your control, a strangled cry leaving your lips. 

“Shh, I’ll take care of you,” he reassures you, leaning down further as his hand travels further, his middle finger leading the charge and stroking you. Each movement is like a breath of fresh air, Hughie’s hand a lifeline to calm the fires within you. His lips part as he reaches your clit, fingertip to pearl. 

Hughie’s eyes bore into yours, lust of his own growing in them. You don't feel as embarrassed anymore, instead, something dreadful that mixes with your hunger. It's going to be hard to stop after this, it's going to be hard to be in the same room after this, knowing that look in his eyes. 

“Touch me, please,” you whisper, the words leaving your lips and sealing some kind of unspoken pact.

He nods his head, obeying you as his hand dips lower. Hughie teases, but not really. Every slow movement is deliberate, testing the waters, gaging comfort and mapping it out for himself as well. It’s careful, calculated, and generous. Just like the kind of friend Hughie always is. 

But all thoughts go quiet as his middle finger slides into you with no resistance, and finally it feels as if there is an end in sight to your predicament. His finger feels… divine. Feels like it belongs there, feels like your salvation, and he your savior.

He slides his finger in you to the knuckle, curls it gently, and then slides it almost completely out again.

“You're so… wet,” he comments, and then a blush radiates up from his neck to his cheeks, as if embarrassed that thought did not stay in his head. You lean into his touch, nails raking into the cheap carpet to cement yourself in place. Your eyes don't miss how his free hand moves to his thigh, his own fingers gripping at the material of his jeans.

He starts again, pushing all the way into you, then almost completely out, then all the way in again. Then Hughie picks up his pace, steady and sure as he begins to thrust his middle finger in and out of you, starts to earnestly fuck you with it. The sounds that come out of your mouth are pathetic at best, whining moans and pants and unintelligible begging for more, all of which he obliges enthusiastically. 

You arch your back into his motion, chasing the rhythm of his fingers, the wet sounds between your legs now filling the air and adding to the sound of your already labored breathing. Hughie is short of breath as well, laser focused on you and all too reactive to your body. He meets every movement with one to match, like physics, actions and reactions. He watches your face for any changes, watches you hungrily, his lips parted and eyes dark. 

It doesn't take much, especially when Hughie adds another finger, and both start moving within you. He curls them along the most sensitive part of you, doesn't hold back as he pulls keening moans from your lips and whispers words of encouragement the whole time. 

You come quieter than either of you expect, with a few shuddering breaths and tears that Hughie wipes away, with your teeth buried in your bottom lip and his hand stilled against you. He lets you ride it out as gracefully as you can, not daring to move his fingers from inside you while his other hand continues to smooth down your hair and wipe away tears. 

It’s only when you still, relief and calm finally replacing the heat, that Hughie slowly pulls his fingers from you. Your breath hitches, your body still sensitive to his touch, to his long fingers. He pulls his hand out of your underwear, and leans back onto his heels again, the comforting warmth that came from him leaving you. Finally, you feel cool, normal. A fever breaking. 

“Was that? Was it good?” Hughie asks, sounding nervous. Was it good? It was exactly how you thought Hughie would pleasure a woman. Lovely, thoughtful, with your care in mind. You want it again, just not under these circumstances. You would like to imagine a date, maybe dinner or drinks, maybe a movie, and then a lovely trip back to either of your apartments and a taxi ride because you're too eager to deal with the subway. 

But yes, it was good. 

And as soon as the relief flows through you, it seeps away, a bucket with a hole in the bottom. The heat returns. You shake your head desperately; No, it did not help, not enough. Tears well in your eyes. 

“I still feel-” you cut yourself off. 

“It was good!” you explain hastily, desperately, panicked, “It was good. But I’m still…”

You don’t exactly have the words for it.

“You need more,” he finishes, not asking, but telling you. You press your lips into a thin line, shame at the thought of what Hughie just did not being enough for you. You look away from him, not wanting to say the words. Once again, you think about asking him to leave, asking him to go and let this pass and then maybe one day it could be a funny story. 

But then you see movement from the corner of  your eye. 

It looks like Hughie was just rubbing his nose, but then his tongue darts out from between his lips and to the side of his middle finger. From that hand, the one that was just between your legs. He puts his hand down quickly, too quickly for it to be a natural movement.

The fire within you floods down the front of you, back with the debilitating vengeance from before. If you were standing, it would have knocked you to the floor. 

“Hughie, did you?” you ask, unsure if you should truly accuse him, your voice shaking the entire time.

“Can I say I was just curious?” he asks, a sheepish smile on his face.

You narrow your eyes at him again, trying to hide any of the discomfort that might be returning to your features. You don't believe that. And luckily, Hughie caves quickly under this kind of scrutiny. 

“Okay, I was curious! I was,” Hughie admits, the blush across his cheeks darkening. You don't even want to ask what conclusions he came to, this horny-embarrassed-nervous-hungry combination doing a number on your thought process. 

You only nod at him, slightly skeptical.

“And you… you need more? So I could-,” he pauses, recollects himself so he doesnt ramble.

“I could do more? I could help more?”

You're taken aback by this, pushing your elbows under you to lean up towards him, ignoring the fact that you're still exposed to him. More? How could you ask him for more? Even though this time and the first time he offered, how could you accept?

“I couldn't�� I can't ask you to do that, Hughie,” you cringe as the words come out of your mouth, your head betraying what your body wants, but it's the right thing to do, right?

“Well, you wouldn't have to do much asking,” Hughie sighs, his eyes darting from his own lap to the lightswitch on the wall, away from you. 

Your eyes follow where his fell and… oh. 

From what you can tell, he’s rock hard, the zipper of his jeans bulging as it holds him in place. Hughie liked that just as much as you did. If things were not already complicated, they are now. 

Again, he’s offering. 

“It's a big step,” you say, trying to give him an out. You can't ask him to do this, it's not fair. You're not in your right mind, despite how willing he is. 

“Ah, yeah, you're right,” he admits, then, “this isn't how I wanted it to go-”

“Wanted it to go?” you interrupt him. 

“Like if we ever, you know,” he’s getting truly flustered now, his hands gesticulating to try and explain what his mouth can't. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, and then his shoulders sag.

“Let me help you.”

The air, everything in the room shifts between the two of you, something new and heavy. He doesn’t tear his gaze from you, and you don’t dare break eye contact. Instead, you nod slowly; giving him full permission, giving yourself full permission. 

Within a second, he's positioning himself over you again, this time with his knee between your thighs. The heat radiating off of him somehow stokes and calms yours, his proximity its own salve after he’s already made you come once.

He leans down to kiss you, his lips fully covering yours. His lips are wet, his stubble coarse against your skin. He’s sure to rub off the makeup around your mouth and leave you with beard burn on your chin and cheeks, but that's the least of your worries. He kisses hungrily, passionately, fierce unlike the normally level headed and more meek member of the team he usually is. His lips seem to pull moans from yours, your tongues and teeth clattering and tangling together.

His hands move across your skin, his thumbs rubbing circles down your sides, reaching further and further down. He stops and pauses almost awkwardly, the first time in this entire encounter that Hughie has shown any of his awkward tendencies. He pushes himself off his hands and knees just enough to get a good grip on your jeans and yank them down. Hughie only pauses when you kick off your shoes, both of you working together to free you of the confines of pants. 

You spread your legs for him gladly when he crawls his way back on top of you, settling himself firmly between your legs. His hips rut and bump against the wet patch of your thong, and briefly it fills you with an odd sense of pride that it may leave a stain on his jeans, that he may carry a physical trophy of this moment.

Hughie’s lips are back on yours quickly, his hands careful and gently as they guide themselves around your body. His fingers dip into your collarbones, palms full of the swell of your chest, ghost over your ribs in a tickle. 

Your hips buck, needy and desperate against him, and he pins you down with his own. Fucking hot, in a way you didnt expect from Hughie Campbell. 

“Please,” you whisper against his lips, and he nods, practically swallowing your words. 

“Wait I have a,” he cuts himself off, and pulls his wallet from his back pocket, producing a beaten up looking trojan condom ribbed for ‘her pleasure’. He holds it up to you between two fingers with a smile.

“Why do you carry that?” you ask, honestly taken aback at his forethought. 

“Well after Herogasm anything is possible, so I figure it's better safe than sorry,” Hughie jokes, and for a brief moment it makes you wonder what other odd shit he might store in his pockets or wallet.

You roll your hips again, and he gets the message. You need him now. 

Hughie tosses the condom down near your shoulder, and untangles himself from you. You take the opportunity to pull the rest of your clothes off, as he sheds his just as hastily. All of your clothes get thrown into a messy pile, to the side, neither of you care.

Hughie practically throws himself down on top of you the moment he's bare, rolling the condom down his shaft quickly before he's rubbing himself along your entrance. He wants this just as badly as you do, and you feel guilty for doubting him earlier.

“Ready?” he asks, already breathless. You grant him a nod, a nervous smile on your face, and that's all he needs. 

He pushes into you slowly, filling you. You're surprised at the way your breath gets caught in your throat, knocking the wind out of you. You did not get a good look at what Hughie is working with before, and you’re very much wishing you did. He bottoms out inside you, his hips flush against you.

He nods, as if asking if this is okay, and you push your head up and rub the tip of your nose against his. Hughie laughs, and the tension of the moment breaks. 

You lift your legs, coming up to wrap them around his hips as he settles himself.

“You're so tight,” he breathes, a lazy smile on his face as he rolls his hips, testing the waters the same way he did when his fingers were inside you. He’s checking on you, making sure your comfort is first. He pulls himself almost completely out, and then back in, and then repeats the whole process. The head of his cock drags within you, rubs against the same spots that had you seeing stars earlier. You're not uncomfortable, not too sensitive, and Hughie seems to sense that. 

Hughie wastes no time speeding up his pace, pressing himself deeper and deeper, never fully pulling out of you between thrusts. He fucks into you not like a friend doing another friend a favor, but like a lover, he fucks into you like he wants to wake up next to you. Hughie presses kisses to your face, hips lips all over you, his stubble scratching you just like you knew it would.

"You feel amazing," he whispers against your skin, "So fucking perfect."

Your moans are like a staccato, punctuated and cut short with each thrust, as Hughie fills you to the hilt you lose all ability to use your voice. He pushes your bodies flush together, connecting completely. Hughie moves against you like he can't get close enough, like he wants you both to fuse together. The friction between your bodies as he moves, the way each thrust drags along the most sensitive parts of you, its all so much. Whatever's going on with you or not, this may just be the best sex of your life. Hughie leaves no part of you untouched and no part of you unsatisfied. You can feel your edge approaching fast, too fast, and you wish you could make this moment last longer. 

Its no use, however, as Hughie pulls your leg from his hip to the side, granting himself access to your clit, where he rubs harsh circles against you. 

“Come on, give me one,” he pants against your jawline, and how could you deny him?

He presses his hand a little harder, speeds up the thrusting of his hips, that friction and closeness never being sacrificed for his speed, and something within you breaks. 

You cry out, a high pitched call of his name, before shaking sobs wrack your frame, your back arching your chest into his, Hughie never slowing down as he pushes you through this. 

This orgasm feels like a jump into the ocean, refreshing and cooling to the fire inside you. 

Hughie works you through your orgasm, your bodies rocking together as you come down from your high. He pulls himself out only when you come back to him, when your breathing starts to regulate, when your muscles start to relax. 

Hughie moves desperately himself, rutting against the apex of your thigh, spilling into his condom only moments after, your hands tangled in the short curls of his hair. 

He moves away from you, the loss of contact genuinely having you feel cold, only to pull off and tie off the condom. Hughie comes back to you quickly, his arms immediately coming around your as your limbs tangle once more.

“Don't worry,” Hughie comforts you, pulling your chest against his tightly. His sweat mixed with his cologne smells almost sweet, decadent. One of his hands comes up to smooth down your hair, sweaty and messed up from the friction of the carpet, his other hand grabs your hip. The heat subsiding temporarily again, this time, it feels less painful, less all consuming. Its getting weaker. 

“We’ll be at this as long as it takes, I’ll help.”

You believe him, and nod, your cheek against his shoulder. He presses a kiss to your hairline.

“Afterwards maybe a shower and I can buy you a coffee? I mean, I think this place has hot water,” he asks, nervousness in his voice. A shower would be nice, but you doubt this place has even one towel.

“A coffee?” you echo. 

“You know,” he explains himself, “so I can say I took you on a date, so that we can be… you know… normal about this.”

“You want to take me on a date?” you lift your head, and that unreadable expression is back in his gaze.

“That wasn't obvious by now?”

[hygienic-soap-dispenser]

Hws Nordics as University Students Headcanons

Because I am a suffering student and you need to suffer with me <3

Denmark

The clown of the group

Has trouble focusing/paying attention

Will use other Nordics in group study session with the goal of body doubling to keep each other in check and focused, but often devolves to laughing and banter instead

Offers good moral support and asks a lot of questions in class, has great participation marks, but can go off topic

Rallies people to meet when need to discuss group projects, again he is great moral support

When writing he either cannot write anything or speed types and hyperfocuses, no in-between

Appears self-confident and social but can actually struggle with self esteem and seeming like he's incompetent or "too much" for people, tries to compensate by being extra likeable and useful

Bonds with people over humor, socializing and making friends are more important than grades to him

Only chooses classes that interest him, does surprisingly well as a result

The most likely of the Nordics to be late for class

Goes to a lot of college parties

Sweden

The mom of the group, always checking in on people and making sure everyone feels included

Reformed high school bully, but still gossips with Norway about classmates and faculty

Has very high standards for himself and his work, will force people in his group projects to do at least 2 rounds of editing

Can really get in the zone and hyperfocuses when studying, but to do that he needs his noise cancelling headphones, his stim toy, perfect room temperature, comfy study clothes, and his daily ritual to actually start

Refuses to pull all-nighters to finish assignments, sleep is more important to him (king)

Is professional with group projects, is calm and good with delegating work

At the same time, he is very opinionated and loves to debate people in and out of class. Often argues with specific students

Easily overwhelmed from noises, activities, and group projects, needs to find quiet places to hide

Gets good grades, professors either love him or forget he exists

Is part of some interest clubs, like for art and woodworking

Norway

The mysterious hottie who sits in the back of class

Hates group projects, doesn't contribute much to them unless it's with his favourite people (other Nordics, specifically Sweden)

Doesn't contribute much in class, but when he does it is good

The class health nut, goes out for 6 am and 11 pm jogs (he is insane)

Also tbh he gives off the vibe of someone who'd be a health nut but also really into drugs at the same time?? Like he does sports and yoga and tracks his water consumption and macros but at the same time experiments with drugs to "expand his spiritual worldview"?

Is fine with concentration, doesn't really struggle unless there's a lot going on in his head at the time

On that topic, he frequents the counseling and medical clinic. There have been rumors about his frequent medical visits...

His writing is okay, nothing to write home about, but then sometimes can get very poetic and profound, especially when it's a personal topic

Gossips a lot with Sweden, they like to people watch together

Skips a lot of classes, somehow still passes

Finland

Perfectionist and an over-achiever, bases a lot of his self-worth on grades. Will get upset if he gets anything below an A-

Can feel like he's in a competition with classmates for good grades and approval from professors, will ask a lot of questions and tries to start discussions in class

Will talk to the professor right after the end of the 1st class to introduce himself and establish dominance

Tries to humble brag about school and his work ethic by telling classmates how often he crams and pulls all-nighters

Very anxious about grades, always does well (at the cost of his mental health)

Mostly sustains himself on energy drinks and coffee

Doesn't like group projects because he thinks no one else cares about doing well as much as he does

This isn't helped by the fact that he has trust issues and thinks others will let him down

Frequents the counseling center and medical clinic on campus. The former because of stress and trauma which worsens school stress, the latter because of medical issues as a result of said stress

Professors either love him or hate him

Despite how he acts in class he's actually a people-pleaser, but his over-achieving nature can be hard to deal with

Goes to the campus gym at least once a week to lift weights, probably part of the school hockey club

If he survives, will pursue graduate school

Iceland

The freshman, trying to figure things out

Thinks that because he did well in high school he'll have an easy time in university (he won't and will be humbled)

Sits in the back of class but secretly wants to sit up front with the "nerds", doesn't want to risk making a fool of himself

Overanalyzes group projects and panics. Double/triple checks his work before sending in his contributions because he wants to seem competent in their eyes

Usually reserved but once he opens up will say the most out of pocket things, sometimes it slips in his quiet phase

Surprisingly, is among the worst of the Nordics in terms of grades. This is mainly because he is unconfident in his own work and views, so he often ends up self-sabotaging his work or doing the bare minimum

His friends are his main priority in school, not grades

Like Fin, is a people-pleaser. Unlike Fin, he is easy to get along with

[historia-vitae-magistras]

A lightee ask than usual but do you have any food or eating habit thoughts?

Ooohooohh, I did a whole ass seminar on the history of food. Failed it because I almost bled to death but I got to keep all the material! I've got.... a lot of thoughts and feelings about food culture. Too goddamn many, tbh. This got really long so I'll have to do a part two for other characters if wanted but lol enjoy.

Alfred:

 —Actually pretty gourmet little shit when he's got time and effort. He's made food Maria loves so often she has to give up on pretending she didn't enjoy it because fucking hell, he makes good chilaquiles after they've been drinking and fucking. There is, however, a non-zero chance he hasn't eaten a vegetable since the Nixon administration.

 —With that combustion engine metabolism, he's also perpetually hungry, so he eats whatever is around him. His guts do not like this, especially when it's a lot of dairy.

 —He has that kind of lactose intolerance that's tied to his health and stress, so if he's been particularly freaked out lately, he'll remind the world of his nuclear arsenal when he's got to use the toilet after that triple cheeseburger with a side of deep-fried cheese curds.

 —He's a stress eater too. He eats every negative emotion he's ever had especially when he's trying not to binge drink or do drugs.

 —He’s exceptionally food-motivated. They didn’t call one of his first major historical eras ‘the starving time’ without reason. He has preferences, but food is also food, and he’ll genuinely enjoy it in most forms as long as it's not rotten or otherwise godawful. Cowboy coffee and beans for ten days straight, and he will genuinely be the only man on that cow trail not sick of it by the end.

 —This also goes into why he’s so generous with food. He’s big on homemade food. He’ll make a whole big ass batch of like some sort of mac and cheese, and all the neighbours will get a big ol’ bowl of it with an ‘oh just return the Tupperware whenever,’ and it will genuinely be one of the best things they’ve ever eaten in their lives. Europeans recoil in horror, but our portion sizes are almost never single servings. It’s a generosity and hospitality practice except drinks. He really will down like a 2 liter of Slurpee in a single sitting.

 —He doesn’t mind eating alone. Actually prefers it sometimes. He loves eating in his car. American frontier culture, especially mountain men, had an often hyper-individualized, almost mythic culture of spending long periods alone in the woods and not being very sociable; thus a lot of situations where single servings were a thing, eating alone in quiet without something to do can be a real goddamn luxury.

 —He’s a really big protein guy with his metabolism. Sometimes exists on protein shakes but is more often a beef or barbeque or ham or alligator jerky. And a somewhat chunky Alfred is a healthy Alfred. A perfectly cut no flab Alfred is an Alfred who might be severely dehydrated and on several kinds of uppers.

 —He has better tastes than Arthur who didn't really realize food was supposed to taste good until like ten years ago but his combinations can be equally wild and unappetizing as they are batshit tasty.

—He loves spicy food. He's got so many opinions about hot sauces.

—He’s always hungry. If he isn’t hungry or turns down food, its genuinely a bad sign. If he turns down anything or just is just picking at it his food alarm bells should be sounding. He’s either about to declare war or puke all over the table or keel over dead. Peckish or food coma is his default state. Like if he was a smaller guy someone would say he’s got a binge disorder but he’s tall and beefy so he’s pretty okay.

 —Incredibly adventurous eater too. People will assume since there’s that old school culture of Anglo-American who eats the same 7 meals every week and might keel over dead if the meatloaf is slightly different he’ll be a bit hard to please but then he’s absolutely charmed by everything from Korean kimchi to Lithuanian Lašiniai.

 —He loves anyone who feeds him, just got to be a bit careful because he’s got surprisingly delicate stomach for the world superpower.

 —That American obsession with authencity means he’s surprisingly good at remembering people’s food culture or eating norms. He figured out chopsticks in ten seconds and quickly picked up the cues and manners of eating in any given culture. Still struggles with modulating his voice and personality, so he can often come across as rude, but he's so excited to do so. It's almost frustrating how happy he is to try and adapt to people around him and how happy he can be to fit in.

Matt:

 —He's a very good cook when he's putting in effort for other people, but he's not really like Alfred, who he'll make a whole ass meal for one just to relax on a Sunday.

 —He does tend to eat more vegetables than Alfred, but only because his northern vitamin deficiency has him binging them when he can afford them or they're available during the summer.

  —He can be weirdly picky on his own, but no one ever really needs to ask about his favourite food or how he likes anything because he always just goes with the flow around other people. “Just get me whatever you’re getting.” comes out of his mouth often.

 —There's a lot of sour cream/crema and yoghurt/coconut milk involved when he eats Mexican or Indian food for as much as he loves it.

 —Katya was singlehandedly responsible for his ability to maintain a normal weight during the 20th century by adding rye bread and perogies/vyrenki to his diet. He craves mushroom-umami flavours when he misses her, which is most of the time.

 —When he’s normal and eating the Anglo-North American diet, but he isn’t always eating it, he gets some strong sugar cravings, especially when he’s west of Manitoba. He’s as fond of birch syrup as a flavour as he is maple; there’s just less production. But the kind of deprivation he got and his own tendencies to not eat sometimes cause white sugar to just straight-up burns.

 —There's very much something of François to Matt's dietary habits, but less in his personal tastes and more in that he might be more sensitive to flavours. He has that kind of discerning and slightly oversensitive palate, but he’s a shitty perpetually broke frontier settler colony. He knows better/feels too guilty/is too embarrassed of himself to really indulge it.

 —He kept too much of his peasant communalism in his eating habits. Where Anglo-American communities did have a lot of cooperation, communal eating was a special occasion. The norm was based on the individual household. In contrast, French Canadian habitants still technically lived on medieval land plots and owed labour to a lord while also having a culture of seasonal male work, so Matt grew up used to communal ovens and eating most of his meals around others. Later, in Arthur’s jurisdiction, it was usually the same. He got a plate of whatever he was given, and it wasn’t something he had ever had to initiate himself.

 —Partially, he's sometimes exceptionally bad at eating when he has to choose to do it himself. Especially since the Americanization of the food culture took hold in the '80s and '90s. Whereas Alfred is food motivated from going without when he was little, Matt learned how to block out physical sensation until he collapsed because it was rare that someone, including himself, cared about what kind of state he was in. He just doesn’t eat at all when he’s stressed or anxious. And now it's his sole responsibility to do so as there aren’t the same community structures. He has a lot of Alfred’s abundance now, all the brunch and BBQ places anyone could ask for, but it hasn’t meshed with his eating habits. His people gave up so much of their communal eating in exchange for various choices and then wondered why they were so lonely. So he’ll just microwave a potato or a packet of Kraft dinner a day for a week straight and wonder why he feels dead because, technically, he did eat something. It’s seriously a miracle he got as tall as he did.

 —Feed him nothing but hardtack for three years, and he won't complain until he's dropped dead of scurvy. If Arthur puts some sort of godforsaken mixture of plum sauce or gin-infused spag bol in front of him, he’ll compliment it before he disassociates to get at least some of it down.

[5five5five5five5five5five]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FICTIONAL FAMILY!!!! have some B day hcs under the cut. tw for drinking and drugs

they all go to diego and lila's because they have the biggest backyard

they wish the kids could join them but they know each other, it wouldn't be safe. diego and lila's kids are with lila's parents and Claire is old enough to stay home. (idk if ray is here but tbh he probs stayed home too, this family is nuts when its their birthday lol. he would rather give Allison a wonderful birthday night at home just for her.)

this is probs in the future where drinking around klaus isn't a HUGE risk for relapse. i feel like prior b-days were less booze\drug heavy for his comfort but its gotten to the point where they want to PARTY. he's the designated driver if anyone does want to go home + so is ☂️ ben so the rest have a good sober duo to watch their backs. and klaus has that voice of reason if he does need it. (s3 ending credit ben my beloved, wish he was canon. he exists here.)

bc im about to take gummy and i always kin when i do, viktor and five took edibles beforehand bc that's their norm in my universe.

Allison helps lila set up before hand. i love the idea of them being mom friends and sister in laws. viktor and five were early and helped too.

five brought so many gifts. one for each person+ custom cards. he does this every year and everyone is still in awe that he goes overboard. the 364 days of the year, they forget he can be this thoughtful. but all the gifts are a *bit* off and not 100% personal. like luther got a telescope bc. the moon. this is like the 3ed year in a row. and klaus got smth that five had to suffer though a spencer's gifts to get. it was so painful. five does it more for the wrapping, card making and seeing his siblings smile then actually knowing HOW to be thoughtful and generous.

they all have a nice time outside and enjoying early fall. Diego set up a projector and they watch all their fav movies as kids. they have a fire pit too and do smores. this really is the day they set to BE man-children and regain their childhoods.

lila COVERED the ceiling of their house with balloons and that is NOT fun to traverse though when your high af, drunk af and need to pee.

they each got a personal cake to take home and a candle to blow out at the same time.

they shit on their dad and bond over their mutual hate for their life before but can agree that life is better now (Allison holds her tongue to not say 'i told u so' ray has helped her understand that and other actions would be a 'cunt move'. shes mellowed out bc of him to the point of being allowed here in the first place.)

klaus some how ends up setting something on fire. this has happened for EVERY BIRTHDAY since they were 6. diego has a fire extinguisher on hand...but doesn't know how to use it so lila has to do it.

they do karaoke. Diego complains and yet was the one who got the machine and set it up. he likes watching lila sing~

Klaus made the playlist.

[flowerslut]

I don't know about you but I've always hated the trope of vampires being addicted to blood like it was drugs. That's like saying that a human can be addicted to regular water if they drink too much so they have to filter it or something to change it. I don't know, I just don't understand why they would be 'addicted' to the very thing they need to survive? It makes me think of the quote from Mad Max; Fury Road "Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!" In saying that, I do find it very funny that Jasper can be addicted to certain emotions, like how he was following Bella around the house and reluctantly leaving rooms she was in when she came to visit because he was getting 'high' off her good mood and Edward was so bemused to see him in that state because he's typically sounded by moody bitches who always argue and complain so he's not used to someone (other than Alice but I think he's used to her now, whereas Bella would be a bit like a slap in the face I think) being so genuinely happy that he follows her around like pepe lepew and skunk stink. I read a fic once about Jasper/Alice and Emmett/Rosalie going to college and meeting there and joining frats and they were around a bunch of drunk college kids and Jasper was ALSO starting to act a little drunk and loose and silly because SO MANY DRUNK KIDS all in the same space together was starting to affect him too. I don't know. I've just been thinking about it

I've never really thought twice about the whole "blood thirst as an allegory for addiction/human vices" because that's always been tied together really well with most vampire stories. I sort of expect that measure of symbolism from vampire media now, and tbh you'd really have to do some heavy, intense worldbuilding to make a vampire universe where bloodlust isn't akin to sex or addiction or some sort of taboo in order to make it still have the correct ~vibes~ (not that it's impossible, but I think the struggle to having to resist, or not resist, is honestly part of the lure for some people.)

and I know what you're trying to do with the "humans can't be addicted to water" thing but if water could only be obtained through killing other people (which, ahem, *gestures to history books*) then people sure would be snapping necks to get it, aaand that makes for an interesting story! I think it (obsession with blood being used as an allegory for drug addiction) can lead to some really interesting story dynamics and plot conflict!!

"I just don't understand why they would be 'addicted' to the very thing they need to survive?" because it's interesting! what do you do when you have to kill to survive, even if it goes against everything you've ever been taught? i love it. 10/10. bring on the pain game. I want to see the hoops people will jump through to moralize their choices!!!! its fun dude!!!!! 🤩

it is cute that jasper's drawn to happy emotions but the way that stephenie implements it makes me roll my eyes half of the time. especially when edward is like "wow bella, jasper loves being around because your emotions are soooo nice and pure and good and addicting because our love is so #Strong! 😌" like, yawwwwn. talk about an informed trait. sorry steph I will never care about edbella 😔 and also, like, reading twilight from bella's pov we... really don't get the proof of her being such a happy person. homegirl has self-esteem issues out the ass so color me skeptical that her emotions were really that alluring 🙄

but it does lead to fun opportunities for headcanons whenever people ask "so...alice just walked up to jasper and he just? went with it?" because if all it takes is a bitch with a good mood to have this war criminal trailing behind them then jasper never stood a chance at being an independent entity. he would've been simping for the first person who didn't feel revulsion toward him. I guess we should be happy it was alice that scooped him up and not someone less cool and hot and fun

but yes! i love the opportunity for jasper's gift to really mess with him and its SO fun to play around with it in fic!!!! breaking dawn doesn't have a lot that I love but if does have some fun "jasper having to feel some nonsense" moments

[londonfoginacup]

Hello! Based on your fics I consider you to be someone well-versed in the arts of coziness and comfort and as it is now the cold and dark part of the year where I live I wanted to ask you, do you have any recommendations?? Favorite brand of leggings? Slippers? Best candle? Best fairy lights? Coziest foods and drinks? Wishing you much warmth and light! X

ohhhhh my god OH MY GOD what a SWEET ASK! And also you are sending this very sincere ask to someone whose main mode of being cozy is burrowing under her roommates for warmth and then yelling at said roommates for turning the temperature up, so i dunno if i'm deserved but here's my best cozy shot--

first of all -- hot chocolate with lucky charms. I'm usually a strictly white chocolate hot chocolate person, but the JOY at being able to eat the melty delicious lucky charms out of it cannot be comprehended. 10/10 warm and cozy and sweet.

Second-- get rid of the heated blanket. Heated blankets are not it. Get yourself heated mattress pad!!!! This bitch makes you toasty like you would not BELIEVE, PLUS if you're someone who tends to kick off blankets in the night, at least half your body is still toasty warm! 1000/10 cozy plus cats will love to snuggle u also dont use this at the same time as a heated blanket bc u will die i think

Now in terms of candles, I think that scents are very personal! I'm a slut for bath and bodyworks because I can be a bit basic, BUT there's something more important than what kind of candle you get -- and that's to have a CANDLE WARMER LAMP! You see, unless you're getting a very expensive candle, most candles, especially ones from the drug store or target, have mOST OF THEIR SCENT in the top like half an inch! SO they smell really good when you buy them but you barely smell them after you light them! But if you get a CANDLE WARMER LAMP, then you can stick your good good smelling candle in there and it will heat it FROM THE TOP and you will get some LONG LASTING GOOD GOOD COZY SMELL

holy shit wait hold up scratch that, I DO have candle recommendations. Cantrip Candles makes candles for like, D&D games to set the mood. But I don't play D&D and just burn the candles instead. The Library candle and the Bakery candle are my FAVORITE, but you can get a sampler pack and try them yourself to see which scents you like. 10/10 cozy bakery scent fuck yes

I don't really have cozy clothes because I wear business casual 24/7 i am DRESSED TO FUCKING IMPRESS (no im not, im just lazy and only own 5 pairs of the same pants), and tbh if I want to be cozy I just throw on a hoodie. I own five and they are ALL Louis Tomlinson.

And for blankets -- the coziest blanket is the one you can steal from someone else. The old crochet blanket that your mom had since before you were born? Snatch it. The blankets your roommates left when they moved out and got married? They're yours now. The blanket someone loaned you at a fireworks show and you accidentally went home with? Coziness factor goes up 1000%. BARRING STOLEN GOODS THOUGH, every blanket I've ever bought is from ikea. I'm not joking. I have one in my car and one in my office and two on my bed and two in my living room.

Okay FINALLY. The SECRET to my uber cozy lifestyle.

It's having a lot of roommates, and forcing them all to cuddle with me.

but if you dont have homemade roommates, storebought are fine

ANYWAY THERE'S MY COZY GUIDE, THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS ALSO TO BE REAL EATING A WHOLE LOAF OF SOURDOUGH FEELS COZY BUT YOUR TUMMY WILL BE MAD SO DONT DO IT

[aprincessofthevoid]

The filling that fell out almost a year ago has finally come back to haunt me... could hardly sleep last night cus my face hurt so bad. TWO naproxen didn't even touch the pain. (Tho that's nothing new tbh). Don't want a long aas post clogging up anyone's dash, so rest is under the cut.

Also didn't proof read this super well cus now that I'm not as sore I'm getting sleepy cus I didn't sleep much last night so if it's a Lil choppy I apologize lol.

Over the years, I noticed pain meds never really worked, so I didn't bother with them. The option was to take the max dose, or potentially more to get relief, but doing that consistently was just not something i was down for. But at the dentist for the filling that fell out more recently, dude dipped into multuple syringes of the lidocaine, and had to numb the nerve in the hinge of my jaw for me to not feel him digging around in my face.

Found the same when I had an iud inserted, took meds before as instructed, even brought a joint lmao. As well as going for the discomfort of that giant ass 10g needle stabbed into my cervix, and it did NOTHING... I've got a fairly high pain tolerance, but I stg I had a better time when I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed at once... and those were ALL infected, two were impacted, and when treating said infection, I had a freak reaction to the amoxicillin for the first time in my life... go me...

ANYWAY, shit I tried off Google and how it worked...

Sensitivity toothpaste rubbed into my gums/teeth helped a very short time. Sent the bf for orajel the next morning n honestly it worked about as well as the toothpaste, just for longer.

Also strongly mint?? Like specifically just peppermint antacid in my mouth helped rhe ache?? Apparently it's a thing lol. Honestly was just looking for a distraction from the ache n felt like the minty feeling might help.

Salt water rinse helped a little too. Did a rinse but a VERY gentle swish, better to puff out your cheeks and roll your head back n forth. Kinda burns but it will help kill any infection as long as it's minor.

Had some tea earlier on with sage, lemon balm, clove and rosemary. As all of them have geberal anti inflammatory or anti bacterial properties. Weirdly another tip I found was just a damp black tea bag placed against the affected area, actually felt FANTASTIC but the downside was it made my spit SUPER bitter if I swallowed it, so my option was wanting to gag at how gross it was, or be in pain... and obviously couldn't sleep with it in there cus that would be dangerous. Might try just drinking some black tea or brewing the black tea with the other herbs for some extra kick, no honey sadly but I'll have to deal with the bitterness.

Acetaminophen worked a lot better than the naproxen here. Was told by a Dr for a different pain I was in, that I COULD take them together tho (as in one of each), but since the naproxen didn't seem to do fuck all I'm gonna just do 2x extra strength Acetaminophen. Which also isn't ideal long term, but I CANNOT sleep with the pain I'm in so for a temporary situation I'm just gonna have to drink extra water or sum...

Other option is the T3 I had leftover after my tooth removal, had some ibuprofen too but left those when I moved away from fam. I'd rather take an extra Tylenol than the codeine tbh. Just feels a Lil less harsh on the system.

Fingers crossed the boyfriends work insurance goes thru so I can get this delt with... otherwise I might have to just have to be in pain to give my organs a break from all the drugs 🙃 gonna try my netti pot to hopefully clear any gunk out my sinuses as the ear on that side is a Lil plugged too (tip. Take a deep breath, close mouth, plug nose, and swallow. Works WAY better than plugging your nose and blowing).

[fatmaclover]

12, the whole gang. would love to hear every head canon you have tbh!!

oh gosh thats gonna be a lot. im gonna be excluding anything that would make this blog more personal or less tame than i want it to be but you really arent missing much there

well. first and foremost UNFORTUNATELY its a hc that im a joyce kelly truther. shes so unbelievably transfem to me at this point its hard to see her as much else. genuinely forget its not canon sometimes. oops

i also must say all of @pariskim's joyceverse tag is canon in my mind and i really recommend you go through it even if you dont see joyce the same way i do, genuinely some of my favorite fan content to consume period. yes i am also sending you over there to become a joyce truther. go.

honestly if mac and dennis could be responsible pet owners (theyll never be.) i think theyd LOVE having a snake. i know theyd go for a ball python because theyre more stereotypically "snake" than some other pet trade species, but frankly i think theyd do best with a hognose. theyre pretty social (with humans. dont keep hognoses together in a tank) idiots with huge attitude and they look god damn adorable. hognoses would also be great for them because they tend to be more food motivated! its also good for snakes to just take them out and like. set them on your bed n just chill or talk with em for an hour or so. thatd be great for mac.

i personally think that mac will only hook up with you as a fellow man if you a) can pass as older than him or b) look like dennis. yeag i think he, consciously or not, goes for people that have similar traits to dennis, physically or personality wise. if dennis let himself accept that he cares a bit too much about who mac is dating, that little fact would single-handedly make macdennis canon. dennis would tell mac to just date him if he wanted to date him so badly

not entirely a headcanon but i imagine almost all of the gang besides maybe frank has methods for getting dennis to regulate his diet a bit more instead of eating like 1 meal a day. i think mac can get dennis to eat or drink just about anything by just giving it to him in conversation. he'll just let dennis talk his ear off and continually hand him chips or fruit or even drinks or nearly any drug at all. having a small bite or drink or hit during conversation is such a reinforced habit that its natural to the both of them now.

i think dee does it by purposefully playing into her status of being "below" dennis. she'll complain about being too weak to open a peanut shell or something and he'll snatch it and do it to prove hes better and out of habit maybe has a little bite. though i imagine if theyre inebriated in any way its as easy as genuinely just feeding it to him. dennis will never admit it, because he hates his sister, but he trusts her.

joyce i think can get dennis to eat just by getting alone with him. she provides a bubble of decompression and a lack of worry for him. its also insanely easy for her to just offer dennis a huff of whatever inhalant shes been having fun with that day and i imagine that makes things easier as well

i think you could pretty easily get mac into nerd shit. just have some pretty boy be a little nerdy. get him to watch star trek itd be life changing for him even if i think a good amount of it would fly over his head at times. ttrpgs and roleplaying in general i think would be big for him

also bringing back my hc of him joining the philadelphia gay mens chorus ohhhhhh my god i need him to sing more i need him to embrace his love of singing

unngh thats not all of em but i my brains starting to lag a bit here. ill happily rb this post with more and make it a sorta masterpost for hcs eventually

[alkibiadessuperfan]

hey ac valhalla fandom. so today I want to make a post and start a conversation on the glowecestrescire arc. it‘s the arc where you meet gunnar and his new girlfriend brigid. before going into it I want to give a trigger warning for drugs and sexual assault if these topics upset you please be careful when reading this post.

let‘s get into this whole thing. so the other week I was playing this arc and two friends of mine were watching too. I play canon Eivor and only make her go into romances with other women or right now no one because of Randvi. during this arc there is a character named Tewdwr that is chosen to take the place of leadership after the current leader sacrifices himself during the samhain festivities to ensure a better harvest. Eivor and him meet shortly while she has to guard him when he wants to visit a saints statue in the woods. Later they drink and celebrate together. That‘s when the game gives you the option to romance him. You can flirt with him, say smth along the lines of he isn‘t your type or tell him you would prefer to be friends. I chose the last option and that‘s when things got really questionable, or tbh, even upsetting to me. while celebrating and drinking more another character offers both eivor and tewdwr „heavier stuff“, that they decide to drink, followed by a fun little montage of their drunk shenanigans and eivor passing out somewhere outside. the screen goes black. and when eivor wakes up she is in tewdwrs bed. it is obviously not clear but all 3 of us had to pause and double check for a minute. my jaw was practically on the floor, the implication was unmissable in that moment to all of us. I still am unsure but the implications are so clear! We went through the whole arc that night and it is really a good arc with many twists and turns. Eivor does not remember anything that happened while the screen was black. She is mad that she was drugged but she is also mad that Tewdwr was drugged. She ends up saving Tewdwr and I was quite upset with the way it was handled by the game. To end the arc there is a kind of ceremony where they burn a giant straw man and then smth happens that settled it for me. Without choice Tewdwr, while thanking and saying his goodbyes to Eivor, comes incredibly close, touches her face, gives her a kiss on the cheek. It was nothing I, as a player, could have decided once again. I am feeling incredibly conflicted with the way the developers and story writers handled it and I did feel triggered after playing that arc. In a way Eivor is a safespace for me and it was really upsetting playing through an arc like that, given the illusion of choice with a strong female character like her and then being ripped away of it in fiction too. I have not seen a discussion about this online before which confused me but I would like to open the discussion and hear if someone else noticed it the same way we did or maybe not?

[estercity]

🚗, 🚫, 🍃, ☕

🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?

anne has her provisional but that's about it. the best she can do is break into cars. she also can't ride a bike for what its worth so its public transport or walking

🚫 PROHIBITED — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

she's pretty straight edge tbh. the most she has is a couple of drinks if she goes out with friends/a glass of wine at like a fancy dinner but other than that she doesn't drink at all. she's never done drugs in her life and probably never will and has never smoked/vaped

🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND — what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

when she was in school she loved chemistry and drama. she wasn't a theatre kid BUT at one point she was tempted to go into the technical side of it because she loves practical special effects. she hated the theatre kids though she dropped it lol

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)?

anne would drink fruity tea and hazelnut coffee exclusively. she doesn't add access sugar to things so she'd have 2 sugars and that's it - specifically brown because its tastier and like the tiniest bit of cream in her coffee. she isn't a big fan of chocolate in general so she wouldn't drink hot chocolate, same with any chocolate in coffee and doesn't like cold drinks so milk, bottled water and anything iced is off the table.

[c00kietin]

1, 5, 16, 17, 19, 18

LES GOOOOO MORE QUESTIONS

just know that this is making me very happy.

1: Age- Okay...I'm just gonna say I'm around the same age as the majority of my moots. I'm a teenager.

5: Do you take drugs- I'm assuming this means illegal ones/nicotine, so no. Don't do energy drinks or high caffeine products either.

16: I've answered this before, but I'll platonically love you if you're nice to me, like my content, or draw fanart of me or my ocs (not telling anyone to do this, but it makes me happy :])

17: Someone I miss- Tbh I miss both my grandaunt and my grandad's dog- my grandaunt died I think in 2021 and the dog in 21 or 22. I'm not a huge dog person, but hearing him pass away made me cry so much. As for my grandaunt, I just remember lying beneath my bed and bawling my eyes out. There's also this neighbour of mine that died and made me cry- sorry, that's 3 ;v;

18: Most traumatic experience- at the time I wasn't phased by it since I was like six but at my grandparent's house while heading to the bathroom I noticed my grandparent's bedroom door was open, and inside was my grandmother (who I don't remember much about now) dying on the floor with four or five people surrounding her. So yeah.

19: A fact about my personality- I like socialising with others irl, but my social battery goes down very quickly. Also, I cry a lot :')

[storiesofsvu]

Im honestly not even excited for tonight based off of what ive heard already. Im more ready for grey’s cause Addison. Lol. I will be making gifs while watching to occupy myself. Nonetheless… here we go..

I really need this detective and bell to date. Pls.

Oky WHY do they continually let victims families/civilians out in the field with them?! Like this is not okay… this is not ideal, this is not legal…

“do you think we can trust him to do this?” THANK YOU AYANNA. God.

Genuinely surprised they didn’t have the building fully surrounded wtf? Like yeah the boys got there eventually but woof.

Me chanting: flirt! Flirt! Flirt! Flirt! At the queers.

Ayanna: eye fucks her

Me: YAAS.

Okay, that’s a win for this episode that’s all I care about lol

Ah yes… dorm life… because eli who canologically should be like 14 is in college…

Moving on!

Tbh based on the promo I am kinda interested in mothership tonight, lets see how that goes lol.

Okay… so the promo had me thinking that Nolan would be a major witness and sam was running point on the case the whole time so im kinda bummed.

I was distracted actually watching and also gaffing but I have 2 notes:

-hugh dancy was WAY off his eyeline mark on his “its my decision sam!” line

-loved the way sam continually called Nolan out this episode. Loved that.

Okay… Churlish *doesn’t drink* but she thinks it’s a good idea to go UC on a roofie case? Wtf girl?!

Really?! REALLY?! They had to make these fucking sleezeballs Canadian!? Fuck you.

The EXACT same moment this pricks cl phone buzzed “redhead” my phone went off with a tinder notification.. I think that’s a sign from hell… defs not opening that app

Why is her water in a plastic cup? Like, I get that we have plastic glassware at my bar but it’s not like, plastic solo cups, theyre plastic cups that look just like our glass ones and you cant tell til you pick them up.

“you don’t have to say everything you think…” LOL.

This is like, a full personal opinion, but I don’t like them wearing their badges around their necks, when they’re on the belt’s it just looks better, they don’t get in the way, but that may just be me.

Okay, again, I get the loyalty and not liking all of your coworkers (beeeelieve me there) but like, there’s a time and a place, you can still be professional and courteous while absolutely hating someone lol. These guys are all being ridiculously immature about it. (also its weird Velasco & muncy are still allowed to be partners???)

Churlish is really out there what? Trying to tie muncy to this case or shit? Again, I understand if it maybe came up a little LATER in the case but for right now you’re just going to check out that bartender, talk to him, get his story. If something doesn’t line up THEN you’d go through his socials…

Man churlish is TINY isn’t she??

Man, they are pushing veluncy way too hard for me right now. Even if it’s just friends, there’s so many looks between them and this is considering they haven’t spoken in a week or whatever? Can we pls not do this.

Churlish really went and baited herself without clearing it with anyone AND making it look like muncy was trying to set her up…

“youre saying this was her idea?” MUNCY WHAT DID CHRULISH JUST FUCKING SAY IN THE VAN?

“you slid into her dms!?” muncy’s SO fucking angry, her little hand?! HAHAHA

Man if olivia felt like she was babysitting *before* she must absolutely hate this shit now. Like…as someone who is a manager and the team used to all be in their 30’s and very unproblematic, staying in their own lanes and now my team has babies on it, it’s annoying af.

The way Bruno had that work conversation while looking like he was flirting was some *prime* acting.

There’s only 15 mins of this left… is it a two parter?

Ok so the drug is in the salt?

The black shirt grace has on looks exactly like one molly has lol

Not surprised there’s a girl involved in this to get them outta the bathrooms

Ah… the limes.. okay…good to know nothing can be trusted in bars. (although… bartender pro tip… don’t ever put the fruit into your drinks or into your mouth. A very large amount of hands touch those fruits, and who tf knows the last time they’re washed, they’re constantly touching dirty dishes, money, debit cards, etc AND a large number of places probably don’t wash their fruits…)

Aside from giving teddy her pic for bait HOW WAS SHE RECKLESS?? SHE DIDN’T FUCKING DRINK! How was she supposed to know it was the limes???

But also yeah, she does have to be there for the right reasons and work with the team otherwise it aint gonna work.

This episode was… I dunno man the vibes are off. That’s all I got.

[leximitchells]

Ben needed therapy last year. He literally hit rock bottom. He’s isolated himself from his friends and family, had become a stranger to Lexi, was taking drugs, completely not taking care of himself or caring what happened to himself, all leading up to a cardiac arrest and literally dying and having to be brought back to life.

That there was the time to finally have him try something different and go to therapy. Putting it on pause and then revisiting it 6 months later by having him use another unhealthy coping mechanism rather than actually communicating with the people who love him and getting help a different way, just seems like history repeating and Ben never being allowed to move on.

It’s like they want to keep him in this permanent state of hiding how he is really feeling, and never being allowed to be happy or feel settled. Along with the fact that he is forever taking two steps forward and then 20 steps back in his relationship with Phil, it’s like they don’t ever want him to develop past the stage where he is hiding his problems, masking the fact he isn’t coping, and searching for validation from his Dad.

It can be really unrewarding as a fan of a character to watch them not develop and just continue the rinse/repeat they have been on. I know it is a realistic depiction of how some people cope in real life. But since when have soaps been bothered about realism?

As for where it leaves his relationship with Callum, who knows? What does it say about them as a couple that yet again Callum seems to think they are in a good place individually and as a couple, only for it all to come out that Ben was struggling and Callum was oblivious? Or that Ben still didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell Callum he isn’t coping? Especially as it has been established (and acknowledged by the characters themselves) a few times now that their main issues lie with not communicating or miscommunication. Again it feels a little like they are stuck in the same rut.

Sorry for going off in your inbox. I know it sounds like I’m being negative. I try hard not to be, but if this goes where we all think it is going, it just feels kind of disappointing tbh.

I know it’s a soap and I expect wayyyy too much. I know. But it’s just frustrating.

i’m still not convinced they’re actually gonna go down the alcoholism route BUT i think the fact that callum has acknowledged ben’s drinking not once but TWICE in the past week is actually a good sign. for him to notice that something is off with ben, something he was unable to do for some reason for most of last year, is progress! i completely agree with you about everything else though. it really does feel like we go around in circles with ben and the misery never ends. ben and whitney are truly more alike than most people would like to admit

[faith--in-the-future]

Louis was drunk on stage almost every night at his last tour 😖 like, he legitimately had vodka Red Bull on stage, took shots during the show, went partying after the show. A drunk state of mind increases risky behavior. He broke his arme twice! The guy from the snuts said in a podcast how Louis wouldn’t stop taking shots on tour and how surprised and impressed he was by that. Louis seems to go to the pub almost every day. I’m glad, we finally talk about this. I feel like this whole topic is blacklisted on most blogs and mods get mad at their anons for bringing it up. I really like how you have responded to these anons so far. I think it’s very important to talk about it though it’s a very sensitive issue and we have to be thoughtful and aware. I just sometimes think, if anything happens to Louis because of this, the fandom will have the worst wake up moment even though it was always so clear that something isn’t totally right about his constant consumptions.

it's a difficult topic for multiple reasons tbh, I think if people had the right tools and the right intentions it would probably be easier and more constructive to talk about this

I wouldn't say he was drunk on stage, he was drinking beer at times and took shots with fans who asked him to but definitely his injuries are connected to him not being sober and that's concerning!

I don't think we can say he goes to the pub every day tho lol, unless u are with him every day?? we don't really know what his daily life is like

If it was for me I'd make Alcohol and all drugs disappear so of course I wish he was sober for his own mental and physical health but like I mentioned I also know it isn't easy to break those cycles and also that I, as a stranger, am not in a position where I can help him at this moment (if he were to announce that he was trying to get sober like liam I'd say yeah we can show support etc but even that is not the same as being a family member ) or where I'm entitled to know and dictate things over his own health and his own body.

I hope those injuries made him more careful at least!

[episbep]

rehab day eight

can’t stop going back and forth between being desperate to get high and wanting to regain control over myself and my life - I know I can’t just sniff a little bit and carry on with recovery but the thought of doing this recovery shit every day for the rest of my life is just so dauntingly boring. Everyone here is singing the 12 step programs praises but I don’t get it - I’m not going to beg god to cure me and attend daily AA meetings full of old red faced men who have lived through very different times to me. I can see myself attending regular Buddhist meetings (8 step recovery, refuge recovery - there are probably more I haven’t discovered yet too) and becoming more integrated within the Buddhist community with the aspiration of ordination one day and eventually maybe enlightenment but I feel so trapped being stuck in this repetitive day to day cycle of “god will cure us” and “the 12 steps saved my life” surely it’s a lifelong process that you have to work at, like any other type of treatment. I want to use occasionally. If I can’t manage that then fine I will commit to abstinence but I know from the bottom of my heart that the 12 steps (which was written in the 1930s and only caters towards white middle class men is absolutely not the way for me and I feel like I’m wasting my time being here. I guess the things that I can focus on are

• planning activities/classes that I can do regularly (yoga? painting? idk I’ll have a look about)

• making plans of which meetings I can attend where/when - they will be mostly via zoom but if I can find at least one meeting per day then I can dip in and out when I feel I need it but ensure that I do not miss face to face meetings.

• getting to know myself without drugs - at the moment I’m just grumpy so I hope this isn’t “the real me” otherwise I’ll just get back on it and get my personality back😄

• taking proper care of myself - not so much ‘self care’ more just things like brushing my teeth and washing my face every day, wearing clothes I like, looking presentable and learning to deal with my emotions in a non-destructive, non-using capacity

• seeking sober events

• work on respecting my own and other peoples boundaries - it’s ok to say no.

then if I do use at least I have everything in place to get me back to sobriety, yknow?

I also feel like I’ve gained weight (I had a subway yesterday and curry earlier in the week) so I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and am not taking any pride in myself because the only people I’m seeing are a bunch of other addicts from all over the country- idc what they think of me. I’ve got no one to impress and realistically I won’t see any of them again. We’ve planned a “1 year sober” skydive to raise money for recovery charities but is that gonna happen? no of course not. So I’m back to heavily restricting and keeping my fluid intake high - I’m drinking weight loss tea from the polish shop with lemon in right now, it’s not too disgusting tbh. I can’t see that I’ll be able to work on ‘loving myself’ when I’m a fat disgusting flubbery lazy fuck.

Anyway today was fine just more of the same, group therapy, a life story, bible (blue book) study and boxfit at the end of the day - I didn’t enjoy it but we did some stretches and yoga stuff at the end that was pretty good. One of my housemates is really grating on me so I’m hiding away in the bath for a bit. He just goes on and on about the same shit and it’s boring and he keeps coming in to my room like no fuck off uuugh 😤