#with my full name attached
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just remembered when i was like 13 years old my class used to hold a student art exhibition at the end of every semester, and one time due to some sort of fatal miscommunication this somehow led to me having all of the undertale fanart in my sketchbook put on display to an audience of hundreds of people
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realistically i'm probably only happy with 30% of the dribble that comes out of my mouth.
#these past couple days i've been meditating a lot on the role of embarrassment in my life#and it is outsized to say the least#to say the most i spent all of yesterday in bed practically comatose enumerating all of the little faux pas i had committed the day before#and basically came to the conclusion that any of the self-confidence i had gained in the past year was just delusion#and that i simply didn't socialize enough in my adolescence to develop a normal personality suited for strong personal connections#plus i told myself that i'd take a break from my thesis between christmas and new years#but now that it's january i can't bring myself to write anything that could potentially be published#it's a lose lose situation#because if i try to get my research published and it's rejected by all the journals then i'll just use that as insecurity fodder#but if god willing i do get it published then i have to contend with the fact that my words and my ideas are just out there written in ston#for anyone to read#with my full name attached#it's bad enough that i have a few cringey fics on ao3 under a pseudonym#but to write something that will at the very least live on in my school's library under my name in perpetuity is a nightmare#anyways my therapist is back from his vacation this week so i'll be fine in a few days#i know all of these negative thoughts are bullshit and i just have to let them pass#the new year just hit me like a mack truck#personal
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what if Steve actually DID have a goofy little daughter who liked baking and did bake sales and had to see her dad be exiled when she was still a kid which caused her to not learn to control her clowny powers properly and then she lived with her grandma most of her life and then came to Earth with Munkustrap to look for her dad and then start a new bakery business would that be messed up or what??
#bigtop burger#fun fact her full name is jennyanydots like in cat the musical#man at first her existence was a joke theory but then I got attached#I think she'd be voiced by jenny nicholson but I digress#btb oc#bigtop burger oc#btb steve#bigtop burger steve#clown oc#fankid#fanchild#oc#my art#fanart#illustration#artwork#art#ref sheet#oc ref#reference sheet#traditional art#digital art#worthikids#pencil art#clown art
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I get people warning about dredging up Mangione's online accounts, like generally true, but personally the "this could happen to you" thing doesn't really phase me all that much. Like sure. Go ahead and dig up my post comparing Jensen Ackles to the Virgin Mary. Whatever.
#but also a good reason to NOT have all your online accounts be under your full name??#besides fb idk what i have my full name attached to#mostly first name or pseudonyms
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What if we put MonsterJon in the unethical experiment cube and Jonah was in charge of researching him. I think this would fix me.
#I am playing lobotomy corporation#Thinking about what Jon’s protocols would be#definitely attachment work poor baby#maybe similar to burrowing heaven where you got to watch#or no maybe you can only work with him after working with another abno#because you gotta bring him a story#people who read this who haven’t played Lob corp#don’t it’ll ruin your brain but if you do I’m sorry#all of my employees are named after TMA characters#Jon is my favorite he’s a good boy#look I just like putting Jon in situations where Jonah has full control of his agency#this says nothing about me I am normal#i just love him so much#JE
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ㅤThen I heard your heart beating.ㅤ You were in the darkness too.ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ... So I stayed in the darkness with you.
#;m.octezuma ii#;musing#musing#/i saw this quote by random chance and-#IUGUUHUGHGGHGHGHGHUGHGUHG#/master-servant vibes for whoever his master is and i.zcally/mocte#its like; u know how in the game f.ate extra ccc; g.il can hear and see h.akuno's downfall; he can hear her thoughts; feel her feelings#and decide to lend a hand; bc 'why not? your speech has moved me for now'#in this case it would be#if a reactive master could feel his aura from afar; a gloomy energy; the type of vengeful spirits that if ur not careful#they would latch on you#but in reality; its a distant lonely heart; pumping fresh blood over and over on the ground in darkness alone#i come closer and to ur surprise#the heart is beating;; albeit slowly#even while having nothing to attach itself too; not light to see; it still pumps up blood#like wound that never heals#and thats when u have to decide to ignore or approach and carefully pick the heart#if u pick option b; he'll be ur servant until time disposses of him; and once u wake up#u will see him shining brightly under the moonlight; the name is m.octezuma Xocoyotzin and he was the last aztec emperor#the trope of you did not ignore my suffering so i will not ignore your pleas. even if death spreads us thin; I will come find you#such acts would not go unnoticed by him#i hope i kinda make sense bc im kinda falling asleep but#the gist is#u find an angry defeated ashamed full of guilt emperor; the desire for vengeance trails from his lips through thin lines of blood#he's alone and naturally forgotten; but not to u; u find him and to that; u decide to hug him#his spirit feels something he hasnt felt before.... compassion#now u have a grumpy emperor on ur team!
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babe does ur goodreads have youre government name?!?! please be careful
you know what. this is actually very wise and i appreciate you 👼
#a#im deleting the link...#i am generally extremely loose with internet safety (idgaf) but i do not know if it is best to have my full government name attached to#my barty-crouch-jr-sexual-predation blog#im giggling... u guys looking out for me <333
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PALE STATIC EXCHANGE: WE ARE LIVE
You there... Yes *you* reading this. Did you cry out into the void? Are you expecting an answer? If so then draw your partner...
[MAKE SURE TO CLICK ON *YOUR OWN* NAME] [THIS IS A SINGLE-USE LINK, TAKE A SCREENSHOT OR WRITE DOWN YOUR PARTNER'S NAME IF YOU'RE LIKELY TO FORGET!]
*Find out who you're gifting for*
EDIT: I've removed public access to the likes/ dislikes link. If you need to see the sheet again then DM me and I will pass it on to you as soon as I'm able.
Tagging so you'll see!
@kimballdo @nerdacious @shufflerock-jam @spilledkaleidoscope @discount-elysium @paleyonder @brainrotdotorg @theorigamiphoenix @artandlurking @blueheartblueblood @gay-victorian-astronomer @earlofbats @nilgans @visismu @erovalkyrie @1tbls @eiirishi @naturallyahoe @ghosty-bees @illegallychanged @literally-a-five-headed-dragon @the-uncanny-dag @m0ssagate @pepperly @doddsmountain @treeman429 @baolinagasy @littlebluewraith @14106 @saorsay @bowyooo @tylernol-the-guy @nonsal @charaname @geeneelee @koreplus @harmonwowshi @turtle-ask @extraterrestrialoracle @electromelancholy @doggirlcooljazz @yellow-yarrow @ignitingthesky @chelmnik @hosekisama @lgbterrorist @revacholianpizzaagenda @meowcifer-nails @captainfiri @robosexualunderground @jiserus-blog @eraserbitz
#Okay here we go#annoyingly my name is attached to this. if i do this again i will make a sep google account for it but i didn't have time#in the meantime. PLEASE dont cause trouble for me! im doing this for free because i think it will be fun! ignore my full name!#pale static exchange#and now i have a well deserved sleep
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i thought you were a bills fan? or are you a stefon diggs akgae
i had to look up what that is LOL and.. well. it's kinda complicated, i mean i guess. Nut like. (But*) (too lazy to backspace LMFAO) when i say i like teams.. i say like. U know. I like the team. I like the ppl that make up that team. And by ppl i rlly do mean ppl . I love stef, and I also love isiah Mckenzie, Gabe Davis, devin Singletary, Jordan poyer, etc. like. i hate when teams blow up. so like. am i loyal to teams (the big thing) nah, lol. But i'm loyal to the ppl who make up the team. I'd be more of a fan of Buffalo if the guys on the team i came here for were still there, but they're not. i love buffalo's spirit and their utilization of the cold. I think weather utilization is hilarious. I'm still gonna hope for good things for Josh but like. Yea, lol, I did get introduced to Buffalo thru stef and then fell in love with his team during that Era and now that the whole reason i first fell in love with them has moved ? im moving a lil too .
im not the biggest fan of football in general, it was always a bit boring to my very small attention span both watching and playing it. So I don't rlly always introduce myself as a football fan to ppl bcs a lot of me being a 'fan' is me playing it as background noise while i work out or smthing. it'll be a little dif if it was basketball bcs I pretty much root for any team that sucks in basketball. So like. I'm just kinda a fan to anything rlly. im very hesitant to be fully like. 110 percent into things sometimes (like how im saying smthimes instead of all the time when it probably is leaning more toward all the time). so like i mean. Yea i like stef, like how i liked Brad Beal and the older wiz at one point and then he moved weird and my beautiful Bonga and others broke up like. I stopped watching them for a bit but ill still root bcs they're still the wiz and i liked the wiz at one point and ill probably like them to the same amount I did p soon now that bilal is there and attitudes are changing and i can find more ppl to like and fall in love with again to make me actually like the team as a team again
#idk im weird abt stuff smtimes#i like personal stuff but like. i dont rlly always like attaching myself to just One person u know#ill still be there for the ppl but like. ppl plural#idk#i get a lot of hate smtimes for not just watching my hometown or not showing a lot of hometown proud#and it's like? i do watch thrm smtimes and i do show pride#but i hate doing things bcs 'u have to' or doing them All the Time#i like getting the full circle of things and when i pick up my pen i start with someone else and#expand from there#idk im jst kinda finnicky and odd abt stuff smtimes lol#like my name has jrue in it but like. i talk abt so many other guys#and ill talk abt jrue!#like. idk i just pick what i like move from there and ill still remember my roots n stuff n other experiences but#i just like attaching to the ones i like the best snd moving from there u know idk#LOL thank u for teaching me a new word tho it looks vry cool tbh !#ted tumbunity things#i like players and i sometimes use my liking of players to enjoy watching teams i dnt rlly like#like the celtics or warriors or smthing#but i genuinely did enjoy the bills when all my fav guys were on it and i could make more fav guys from my 1st fav guy#but like. that's all gone now bcs it's not players it's business and i dont like business. i fking cant stand business bros#so i move !
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Ya’ll how bad would the digital footprint be if I wrote a Donald trump x joe Biden fanfic
#how bad would the unemployment be#hmmm#technically my last name or picture isn’t attached to anything soooo I’m good?#sooooooo full sail ahead?!?!?!?#joe biden#biden administration#president biden#donald trump#trump#president trump#francescas anthology
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the poirot movies and the benoit blanc movies are like siblings to me i will keep watching them as long as they keep makin em. that said kenneth can you please be taking casting notes
#i have a general rule of referring to celebrities by either full name or mr/ms whatever their surname is. there is 1 exception to this rule#and it is kenneth branagh. who i refer to in irl conversation as my good friend kenneth who won't respond to my emails#neon has thoughts#like come on man. you are still my preferred detective movie series due to unhealthy attachment to motoe and generally i like that it's a#little silly but if knives out 3 is good i'm going to go fully off the rails i can sense it. it's looming on the horizon. i will be seeing#this one in theaters i didnt care about glass onion but My God.
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7f87f303cf6b088795d2dc1decaf8e3a/ee2ef34082918d1f-26/s540x810/381c0ad7944a302296da77d46ba7154b6e46da60.jpg)
Sometimes you’re about to drop into a mission and your bandolier just doesn’t have enough pouches for your things smh
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Kallus and Corporal Pao from @hixystix’s fabbbbulous Kallus x Zeb fic A Safe Haven
Been rereading it and it’s just so good! If you like Kalluzeb I’d highly recommend this fic! Kallus and Zeb are so well-characterized and really all of them are and and…it makes my little shipping heart go brrrr
(rated E so mind the rating if that ain’t your thing)
#a safe haven#fic rec#Alexandr kallus#Corporal Pao#he has a full name but it’s…it’s just so long#listen I’ve grown attached to Pao and we’re just gonna pretend he wasn’t on Scarif#my art#rebels era#fic fanart
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fuck exam revision i just spent the last two hours writing an entire google doc of a shittily written mayoshino AU concept i came up with while sleep deprived. i am going places, certainly not a further education, but places
#its not like i was planning on going to uni anyway i dont have that kind of money#also before anyone asks i cannot link the google doc as the gmail account its attached to has my full legal name which would be visible#if i shared it#my writing is also awful i got a 30% last time we did creative writing at school
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Petition to let myself change narrative direction and let Skie Silvershield stab Gortash for this internal narrative—
(actually I think Valas would be into that, it wouldn't change the ultimate direction of the fic) (I'm so sorry, Skie, no one deserves to be stuck in the middle of the psychosexual mind games going on here)
#I can't tell if I'm vague posting about my own unpublished fic for my own amusement or posting a tiny wip wheneverday#both?#anyway skie call me introduce me to your family's legion of peacocks#(I'm having another case of getting attached to a minor npc that's so minor she might as well be an oc as I flesh her out help)#bg3#enver gortash#valas devir#skie silvershield ii#she gets her full 'the second' since she's not the skie from bg1#love your commitment to naming your kids for your ancestors Torlin#(I didn't do this she's canon in at least two sentences of Murder in Baldur's Gate)#my writing
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mostly i keep quiet about my bigger creative projects until they’re done because i know if i talk about them unabashedly i sound like i’m trying to put on a tortured artist persona. like. it is technically true that i base the majority of my sense of self on my projects and i start to feel like i’m rotting when i’m not working on something and that i’m extremely particular and protective of my projects and i don’t trust people to help and that i’ve let friendships end because they didn’t care about my work as much as i think my work deserves. however. those things all sound like the traits of a fictional man who will miss the main character’s big event because he’s too wrapped up in the series of paintings he’s working on. so
#i’ve been working on a big project for over two and a half years#it is extremely dear and important#to me#and you don’t know what it is. because it’s not done yet#it’s not ready for you to see#some of my projects you will never hear about unless we become like#Actual Friends#because they’re semi-professional or professional work with my full legal name attached#you’re just going to have to trust me when i say i’m even better at most things than my blog might lead you to believe#bonerattles
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Muta Moodboard!!!! Kitty cat cat cat cat kitty cat <3
#Emile's Edits#Muta#Selfship moodboard#Proship Selfship#Proselfship#I said I'd do Gabocha tonight but then my friend Sol got back to me with the transparent Muta's I asked them to do#And I just HAD to make a selfship moodboard with them INSTANTLY#'Who's your weirdest F/O?' The fat cat from The cat Returns for sure#He is JUST a cat.#But I love him SO much kitty kitty ever <3#He's soooooooo cute my kitty kitty <3#My S/I for this one is a BL manga artist who works near the crossroads who starts eating lunch at the table Muta sleeps at#And shares his lunch with Muta because Fat Cat my beloved <3#And Muta gets a little more attached then he thought he would#This is pre-movie btw I'm the one who gives him the name Muta#I IMAGINE he eventually ends up in the cat kingdom for some reason and Muta (who's full time because His Cat at that point living with him)#and the Baron have to come save him#and that's where the romantic part of the self ship comes from#Muta already loves my S/I at this point but to me Muta is just my kitty kitty until he's twice my size and speaking full sentences#and saving my life <3#At the end though Muta does decide to convince me it was all a dream and we return to normal owner/cat dynamic#A little bitter sweet but at least we're still together and had one kiss <3
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