#with love. but still hate
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gaius gaslighter expert
#i generally like the guy#but occasionally an episode pops up that makes u really hate him#with love. but still hate#gaius#merlin tv#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin#02x03#morgana
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I could think of no better way to share the news than this!
So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.
Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.
Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!
Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)
He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!
I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!
Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:
#personal#okay to reblog#my cat#cat people#honestly i can't believe this#like it happened to me and it still feels so fanciful and unreal#like something out of a children's story book or something#he's such a good boy!#he purrs like a motorbike and loves his brushy!!!#edited to add the flag because terfs found this post#people that hate my existence don't get to celebrate my cat
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
#posting my drafts#i want to stress im a taylor swift enjoyer. sorry.#also if someone wants to venmo me for the radfem hate i get daily i need like 60 bucks#someone stole my taylor swift official merch quarter zip :(#the point im specifically making in the tswift paragraphs i hope is clear which is like.#taylor is not threatening their ideas of masculinity or femininity. she is incredibly milquetoast. i mean i love her#but there's nothing about her that challenges the status quo. EXCEPT for her success.#and that's what pisses so many men off: the success.#so if THE VISION of white heteropatriarchy STILL is being treated this way.....#what do you think is happening to minority populations??#i just feel like be annoyed w/her about real things but being weird about her dating someone is like#soooooooooooooooooooooo fucking annoying. like ya know????#[said with the knowledge i need you to be soooo normal about how you interpret this entire piece and also these tags]
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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best friends
#valentines day#love puppy#love kitten#webkinz#digital art#id in alt text#my art#ik i said i would do raccoons again but i remembered ive been meaning to draw webkinz love puppy idk#this was mostly an excuse to experiment w brushes and textures. experiment failed i still hate them#my battle w procreate is ongoing 🔪#idk i feel like i should keep a tradition of valentines day drawings#HOPEFULLY now that school is done. maybe ill finally have the mental bandwidth to draw in october#which is way better than february 😑
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.
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THE LOVE TRIANGLE
ford, fidds, and bill are living in a late 70s/early 80s sci fi psychological horror film that was buried upon release due to its explicit gay themes but quickly became an underground cult hit
numerous associations would decry its depiction of homoeroticism between its principal characters, but nobody could deny the surrealist film had its merit. “it’s like someone concocted an unholy combination between the shining and space odyssey and then died of the instantaneous nuclear fallout. why would anyone make this? are they stupid?” one reviewer said.
more alternates + sketch under the cut
#gravity falls#the book of bill#tbob#ford pines#stanford pines#journal 3#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#young fiddleford#bill cipher#fiddauthor#billford#billfiddlesford#bill x ford#billfiddauthor#the love triangle#love triangle#ford x fiddleford#eyestrain#my art#the shipping is implied but i still think it counts#love triangle is SUCH a better name than billfiddlesford i fucking hate that name#i’m not even a billfiddauthor truther i’m sorry i mean technically yes but it’s like#i see the three’s dynamic as it is in canon just as explicitly queer#so like. bill is manipulating ford with flattery and driving a wedge between him and his only friend. fiddleford doesn’t know bill exists#i love the art with bill and fidds interacting but like#fiddleford being in the dark the entire time fucks me up man
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truly one of those zs top hits moments
#my art#one piece#zosan#i could do one of those 'give a 20min presentation with no prep time' things re: Thriller Bark Moment#i just think that they (gestures very violently)#i also tried something new with my flats! trying to get more texture in ways that feel 'natural'#procreate has been amazing for sketching/lines but csp is still where i gotta go for everything else (my 8yr love/hate affair)#one piece tag
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I'm a "If you don't give me the freedom to choose who I want to become I will destroy the world" Overblot enjoyer. So I made a companion piece to my Jamil Overblot piece.
#still old art but we're catching up#my art#art#twisted wonderland#twst#overblot#chapter 6 spoilers#I love Idia#but I hate drawing his hair#idia shroud#mello's drawings
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claudia BEYOND justifiably hating lestat and louis and dying hating them because they didn’t see her as a person with her own agency and treated her like a child at best and a toy at worst and both are ultimately to blame for her suffering BUT louis and lestat both genuinely loving her (in their own fucked up and deeply inadequate ways) and seeing her as their daughter and being irreparably traumatized by her death and their culpability in her suffering and the knowledge that she died hating them and it’s their fault and they can never make it right ever
#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv 2x07#claudia iwtv#charlie kelly pepe silvia meme but he’s also crying and he has a gun to his head#she deserves to hate them she deserves to kill them#but ohhhhhh my god they loved her. THEY LOVED HER THATS THEIR DAUGHTER.#and they’re her HORRIBLE parents#they loved her and it wasn’t enough and it wasn’t in the right way and it didn’t save her but it will still never leave them#i’m never going to recover from this fr#that last look……i have too many things to say#evil of my evil#ok ok someone muzzle me i gotta stop
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the giftedray
#project sekai#prosekai#prjsk#prsk#kanade yoisaki#my art#this looks better on twt#cuz theres like a 4 post cropping trend thats been going on#also still love this kanade hehehe#i loveee evil kanade but i hate when people twists it to make it look like kanade is ACTUALLY evil#.... i can never win....#cute no kanajo and anni3 kanade you're all im gonna get....
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advocatus diaboli
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#karlach#tiefling#barbarian#bg3 fanart#bg3 karlach#bg3 art#userpharawee#stuff and things#ugh idk I'm struggling with my art a bit lately and it's. fcking annoying!!#so this clearly isn't finished (whatever that means)#but I don't hate how it looks yet#so I'm just quickly going to throw it out there before I can start to overthink myself into disliking it lmao#easing my way back into liking what and how I draw. slowly but surely#anyway. karlach!! I still love her
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Hilson should have had ONE. (1) honest to god fistfight. Not talking about no pansy ass scuffle either i need a FIGHT. Im talking bloodied noses nd bruised cheeks. I need them to exchange words that will alter the course of their relationship forever. MOST OF ALL. They need to make out nastystyle afterwards
#Drawing this was so fuckingfunny because house is so absolutely into this HHEKELALLAOAPPPAOSJHHAGHEHU#Yes i tried to draw this homoerotic as possible but simultaneously house by nature would be SO into this i dont even get a say in it#LOOK AT HIS FACE#Wilson would get MAD mad and house would be like “😳😳😏😏” Hes such a little freak. What fucking ever#House needed to get jumped soooo bad chase swinging on his ass is still to date the best thing hes ever done in-show#Im not even sayingthis becayse i hate house i fucking love house actually one of my charactersof all time#But the shit this man pulls sometimes. Bro#like u need to get jumped. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD#johan being crazy about yaoi md#johan's scrapbook#house md#house md fanart#hilson#hilson fanart#james wilson#gregory house
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if you want love, you're gonna have to go through the pain,
if you want love, you're gonna have to learn how to change,
if you want trust, you're gonna have to give some away.
#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#song; nf if you want love#mw#my art#after like over 50 something tries for both their faces separately i still dunno how i feel bout it in the end uguhguhguhu#thats a lie i hate it but thats art#thats also a lie soaps face i am happy with its everything else i want to burn#maybe ill crop his face and just call the rest a loss idk ill sleep on it n after work see how i feel#why am i like this
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I watched HxH again as you may have noticed.
#hxh#hunter x hunter#Kurapika#Melody hxh#leorio paladiknight#killua zoldyck#gon freecs#neferpitou#chrollo lucilfer#tagging that mf bc nene hates him LMAO#Nene if u can still see this post i am so sorry i love you#i did my best#doodles#fanart#hxh fanart
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