#wishing i could see this production very much so i hope it does well enough that maybe we get a pro shot version

[midnightwriter21]

jjk oneshots: Just Relax (satoru x reader)

characters: satoru gojo x reader

warnings: fluff, comfort

an: doing gojo’s skincare to help him relax

SATORU GOJO

A sigh escapes Satoru’s mouth as he shuts the front door behind him. Walking stiffly to the kitchen he finds his girlfriend nursing a cup of coffee.

“I’m home,” he announces.

“Hey,” y/n smiles reassuringly at Satoru, a genuine expression of comfort. "You look stressed," she notes. But she's not judging him. Just observing.

Satoru looks back at her and nods, trying to control his breathing. There's something about her. Something about her presence that just makes him feel at ease. He doesn’t have to keep up the act around her. "I am."

"Why? What's stressing you out?" y/n asks. Her voice is soothing. Satoru can't explain it, but she just has this way of making him feel calm.

He shakes his head, trying to gather his thoughts. "It's...nothing. I'm fine." But he's not. And she can see right through him.

y/n says, “It’s the higher ups… isn’t it?”

Satoru is taken aback by how spot on she is. He nods cautiously, a glimmer of relief washing over him. "Yeah...that's exactly what it is." He sighs. "I don't know how much longer I can handle it before I snap. The pressure. The stress. The annoyance. They’re always scheming. It's constant. "

y/n frowns, wishing she could give those old geezers a piece of her mind. Deciding to change the subject, she puts her coffee cup down, grabs Satoru’s hand, and leads him to the bedroom.

Pointing to the bed she says, “Lay down.”

Raising an eyebrow at her with a cheeky smirk, he says, “Is this going where I think it’s going?”

“No.” She replies flatly, “Now lay down.”

"Fine." Satoru does as he's told, lying down on the bed and looking up at her with a look of mild amusement. He's not sure what she's up to, but he's curious.

Once he’s comfortable y/n walks to the bathroom and begins gathering her favorite products before walking back to the bed and settling herself down near Satoru’s head.

Satoru watches her with a puzzled expression on his face. "What are you doing, sugar?" he asks, his voice still dripping with that teasing edge from before.

"Shh," she replies. "Just trust me and try to relax."

She pushes his hair back with a silly headband, makes him close his eyes, and gets to work. Lathering face wash on his skin, wiping it with a wet towel, moving to moisturizer, and so on.

He lies back on the bed, letting her work her magic. His eyelids feel heavy, the soothing touch of her hands making him feel more relaxed than he has in a long time.

"I know you're stressed," she begins, her voice hushed and soft. "This is to help you relax. Try to clear your head. To help relieve some of the pressure you're under.”

“I know you’re the strongest,” she continues, “but there’s nothing wrong with having a little help or taking a break every once in a while…”

“You’re helping me.” Satoru interrupts, “right now. This is helping me. I don’t think you realize how vital moments like this are to me. Moments with you.”

Lily smiles playfully, booping his nose, “Shut up, this is about you right now. Stop being sappy and relax.”

He chuckles, appreciating her playfulness and the way it helps him to let down his guard.

As she continues her work, he takes a deep breath and starts to really let go of all the stress and tension that’s been weighing him down lately.

"I trust you," he says quietly as he exhales, eyes still closed and his breathing becoming even deeper and slower.

“I’d hope so, otherwise I don’t think this relationship would work very well,” she jokes.

"True." He smirks at that and he opens one eye slightly, just enough to glance down at her with a teasing expression on his face. "By the way, how much does this skin care routine cost?" He asks with a sly grin.

She returns his grin, “I don’t know… you should check your credit card records.”

He raises an eyebrow, a grin spreading across his face. "I'll be sure to do that later," he says. "And if I see it's ridiculously expensive? What then?"

“It wouldn’t matter,” she shrugs, “you’re rich anyways. Probably didn’t even leave a dent in your bank account.”

"Fair point," he says with another grin. "But for argument's sake, what if it did? What if I suddenly can't afford your lavish lifestyle? What would you do then?"

y/n snorts, “Oh I guess we would have to find a cardboard box big enough to fit the two of us and live on the street.”

Satoru chuckles softly, “That would be just tragic. The strongest sorcerer and his beautiful girlfriend living in a box,” he yawns, “You wouldn’t go find another dashingly handsome sorcerer to be with? What about Nanami? I heard his pockets are pretty deep.”

y/n laughs, “Definitely not. I think Nanami would slam the door in my face before I even got a word out.”

Satoru replies sleepily, “Nanami…. would never.”

“You’re right he wouldn’t. He associates me with you though so I’m not sure he’d let me stay for very long…” She trails off.

For a few moments it’s quiet until y/n breaks the silence, “Hey Satoru?”

He doesn’t respond and soft snores fill the room.

She giggles quietly, “… I love you.”

Satoru smiles at her words, even in his sleep.

[the-bigger-fish]

You know, I'm not normally the type of guy to post this sort of thing but I really want to get it off my chest....

I really enjoy Viv's shows and general works. Like, for some weird reason Helluva Boss (and to a lesser extent, Viv's body of work as a whole) has become a show i hyper fixate on the likes of which haven't been seen since I was a Transformers Prime and MLP fan back in 2010.... BUT that being said, I also find myself also very critical of her works for a lot of reasons as well. (Not as a hater, but as someone who loves the show and wants to see it improve.)

Which then leads to the reason why I wanted to get this off my chest... Stolas is a good character, heck he might even be a GREAT character..... On paper, that is.... Like, he has all the elements for what could be a really interesting and nuanced character and antagonist of the show (Antagonist meaning "Someone who contends with or opposes the Protagonist, not necessarily meaning he's evil...) Like, having a well meaning, but sheltered, privileged, and ignorant man make a mistake in the throws of passion that causes not just turmoil in his family whom he loves dearly, but also with his friends and many others as well and thus tries to make things up to everyone? That's genuinely an incredibly arc for a guy to go through and honestly quite fitting for a show that aspires to ape plays and theater so much, too. It's just that... The show never really seems to be interested/able to show him going through this arc it seems? Like, I'm not sure if it's a production issue given that animation is hard, a monthly-ish web animation is probably even harder and you can't cover everything you would want to realistically in the show proper. (Which honestly makes me wish we had side comics or prose to compliment the episodes and shorts as well, because it genuinely feels that we missed a chapter or three at times...) But like, it feels like we're told Stolas is one thing (Kind, loving father, ignorant and delusional yes, but does try his best to make things up when he realizes he's screwed up.) and then shown an entirely different character instead. (Coercive, airheaded and easily distracted to the point of forgetting important things like his daughter and the like, classist, and more than a bit obsessive towards Blitzo and way to stuck in his own world to actually be able to right his own wrongs.) And as we all know what Rule 1 of storytelling is, ESPECIALLY visual storytelling like animation:

SHOW, DON'T TELL

Now, I'm not saying Stolas has to be perfect (in all honesty, the fact he's so deeply flawed makes him farm ore engaging in a "Greek Tragedy/Shakespearian type of way fittingly enough) it's just, it feels like the show wants us to view characters and plots in general as one way, while showing us something completely different from what we've been told. (And honestly, that just might be the result of general teething issues regarding the show's hard switch from "Dark comedy where Logic and consistency need not matter as long as the joke lands" to "More serious character drama where actions do have consequences, no matter how far fetched they might be.")

Which isn't to say I'm blindly bashing the show or hating on Stolas or Viv, I think both the show and him has a lot going for it and that some of the more vocal critics take things way too far when it comes to criticizing Stolas and the show, it's just I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart as a fan what my biggest problem with some of my favorite aspects of the show are and hope they can be improved upon because dang it, I really wanna see this show be as great as i know it can be! Same with my birdy boi, too!

(P.S. Stolas totally got his fortune paving the entirety of Hell's roads with his good intentions. That's just facts right there.)

(P.P.S. If this does well enough, maybe I might write more writing critiques and general thoughts as a whole. Let me know what you guys think.)

[alexanderwales]

Factorio: Space Age introduces the "quality" system, which you can technically play without, though I'm not sure it's balanced around that. I've now played with it enough that I have some thoughts on it.

First, I think it's kind of stupid that machines cannot naively use mixed-quality materials. It means that if you put a quality module in a single furnace, the lines will get "polluted" by the plates that are produced, and the whole factory will eventually gum up. Ask me how I know. I would vastly have preferred that it not matter: use a rare gear in a belt, and either it has no special benefit, or gives a chance to grant quality or something. But if it did that, I suppose it wouldn't be much of a gameplay challenge.

There are a few other pain points. One of them is that bots and the interface in general do not handle quality very well. Quality is almost always a strict upgrade, so it would be nice if there was a setting I could tick that said "hey, go upgrade things if possible". But instead, the UI and mechanics are such that you need to specify it, and this is super annoying, because it means that I have to manually go do the replacement myself, or have an upgrade planner to upgrade quality, then cancel the job once everything that can be replaced is so that the game will stop giving me an alert. I have accumulators and solar panels set up for quality right now, and I can't immediately think of a way to automate the process of upgrading the solar fields. I'm guessing that mods will help with that eventually. I also definitely want a keybind for "increase quality" and "decrease quality" on a machine, though I guess I never went looking to see whether that was a thing, so maybe it exists and I'm ignorant.

So as I see it, there are three main ways to engage with the mechanics:

Put quality modules in a machine that you're going to craft once and hope to roll high. The advantage is that hey, maybe you'll get lucky, and for stuff that goes in the equipment grid, I think this is sensible to do. Probably also wise for infrastructure, so long as you're fine doing some manual finagling that really should be done with bots.

Put quality modules in (some) machines that make intermediates, then use whatever you skim off the top there to make quality things. This does work, but you have to skim off essentially every single production line, and I think over time you end up with too much of certain things, which kind of sucks. It's one of the things that I've been doing, since it can guarantee the higher quality stuff, and ideally all the stuff in a spaceship and your equipment grid is at highest quality available. (You can also "skim" off anything you're making a shit-ton of for science: electric furnaces and yellow inserters are the two most obvious ones. I do wish this were easier to automate so that at some point you could say "actually, don't do the quality thing anymore". Probably some circuit logic could get you there, but you can't replace modules automatically that I know of.)

Use the recycler to "reroll" quality, making a gear over and over and over until it rolls high and can be separated out. The only issue with this is that it requires the recycler, and also is very expensive, but it does mitigate the randomness in its own way.

There's a secret fourth way that I've been noodling, which is that you could essentially build five separate copies of your base, put quality modules in everything, then if you roll high, send the better materials to the other base. This is insane, which is why I like it. So you would have miners mining with quality, which then gets separated onto five different trains and brought to the smelters, which then turn some fraction into higher quality plates that get sent to the "higher" factories. Those plates go into assemblers, which have a chance of upgrade, and so on, until there are five sets of labs, each of which is working with a different set of quality flasks. But I'm pretty sure that this would have a lot of technical problems, and really risk gumming up, as well as being very space inefficient and resource intensive. Still, might be workable end game, if you could deal with the inevitable overflows and imbalances.

Overall, I like it as a problem to chew on, but I think in practice they made a few decisions that I find annoying. Mods seem like they're fix some of it, like having to manually select upgrades, but the "clogging up the inventory" issue isn't going to go away, and in fact seems like one of the basic things that the mechanic is balanced around. I really appreciate that there are many ways to approach it, and that it creates this tradeoff of "go tall" or "go wide".

I'm very curious to see what people do with it, though I think the "throw vast resources into recycling" approach is probably going to be the dominant one unless there's a great blueprint for handling the overhead. And I'm also curious where public opinion is going to land on it, since it seems like the kind of thing that might end up divisive.

[aalissy]

Future Plans

Day 17 is finished! I hope you like it!! I loveee getting to write fluffy post-relationship Adrienette teehee! They're my fave! Lemme know what you think <3

AO3

Adrien and Marinette sat on the rooftop of Marinette's building, watching the sun dip below the Paris skyline. The evening breeze tousled their hair as they curled up together on her lawn chair, watching the sky slowly begin to darken. Marinette tightened her arms around Adrien, cuddling him to her as the wind sent a shiver of goosebumps up against her arms.

"So, what do you see yourself doing in the next five years?" Adrien asked, tilting his head back to look up at her, his green eyes brimming with curiosity.

Marinette grinned, her gaze drifting off lazily to the Eiffel Tower in the distance. This question was certainly distracting her from the cold. "What is this, a job interview?" she giggled.

“Shut up!” Adrien laughed and she enjoyed the rumble against her chest. “I’m interested!”

Marinette nodded, a spark of humor in her eyes. "Well, you know me, I’m crazy about fashion. I hope to be able to get an internship somewhere in the future. Maybe nothing too big or fancy but just enough to get me started. And then, going past the five-year timeline, I’d like to be able to open my own boutique... start my own fashion line... it’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of doing." 

She finished her statement with a happy sigh, imagining the beauty of having her own fashion business. The idea of owning her own boutique one day seemed impossible but magical.  

"That sounds absolutely fantastic, Marinette!" Adrien exclaimed, turning to face her. "You know, we could collaborate on something together. Your designs plus my modeling skills could mean that we’d have the best fashion business in all of Paris."

Marinette laughed quietly before shaking her head. “I’m not going to force you to model for me, Adrien. I know you quit for a reason. It just wasn’t your dream.” 

“Yeah, but you’re my dream. I just want to be with you and if I could help you fulfill your wishes, that would mean the world to me.”

Marinette let out a soft cry before pulling Adrien up to her, crashing her lips to his in a passionate kiss. There was a pause for just a brief moment before he was kissing her back just as deeply. She ran her fingers through his hair as she deepened their kiss. This, right here, was everything to her.

“I love you,” Marinette murmured after she pulled back for some much-needed air. “So, so much. You have no idea how much that means to me, Adrien. You’ve been my dream too for a very long time now and I never thought I’d hear you say the same about me.”

“I love you too,” Adrien spoke breathily before connecting their lips together again. 

Slowly, they pulled apart, lingering in each other’s arms in the quiet of the evening. Adrien ran his fingers along her arms, warming her prior chill and her eyes fluttered closed at the touch. The city below seemed to slow down, giving them a peaceful moment amidst the bustling life of Paris.

"I can imagine us traveling together. When we’re older and are an incredible designer and model duo," Adrien mused, breaking the silence softly. "Exploring new places, experiencing different cultures. It would be incredible."

Marinette smiled, nestling herself back against the small lawn chair they were in and cuddling Adrien back to her chest. "Yeah, that really does sound amazing. We could visit fashion capitals, attend shows, and maybe even collaborate with designers from around the world."

The idea of blending their love for each other with their passion for fashion filled their hearts with excitement. They talked about attending fashion weeks in Milan, Paris, New York, and Tokyo, envisioning a future where their creations would grace runways and magazines.

"And imagine," Marinette added, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, "we could create sustainable fashion lines, promoting eco-friendly practices and ethical production."

Adrien nodded in agreement, his eyes gleaming with admiration. "That's a fantastic idea. We could use our platform to inspire some more positive change in the industry."

As the night deepened, they wrapped themselves in a shared blanket, watching the stars twinkle above. The quiet moments between their conversations were filled with a comfortable silence, a testament to their deep connection.

"I'm so grateful for moments like these," Marinette said softly, pressing a kiss against the top of his head. "No matter where life takes us, I know we'll always have each other."

Adrien leaned into her embrace, feeling a profound sense of contentment. "I’m so glad I found you."

They stayed on the rooftop, lost in dreams of the future, cherishing the love that bound them together. In that peaceful night, under the starlit sky, Adrien and Marinette found solace in each other's arms, knowing that their journey was just beginning, filled with endless possibilities and shared adventures.

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Hello! I hope your day's been going well! I have a fluffy, tender, but experimental one this time if that's okay! 😄

One of my hcs is that the night after a Gerudo's wedding & before the, “big moment,” it is tradition for the bride & groom to bath together. To help them to get used to each other's bodies. It is also thought of as symbolic of “washing off the detritus of failed relationships to ensure that this new one may flourish” as well as a way to bond.

Based on ancient Egyptian culture, I like to imagine that the Gerudo have a lot of bathing products that they make themselves in their more prosperous times. Like, body oils made from Palm Fruit oil, Oasis Honey (honey made by Oasis Ants), & Dune Ant wax. Hair oil made from Càrïtàn (castor) oil, Desert Aloe oil, & Shock Fruit juice. And the ancient royals (& I mean ANCIENT, like centuries before even coming to the Hyland continent) would often have Honeymilk Baths. Of course, the original recipe has been long since forgotten. However, there have been attempts to recreate it using local ingredients. Unfortunately, it is only used for a king's wedding night now due to lack of resources.

The Honeymilk bath is made using Ghamïchaa (Bighorn Sheep milk; however, Ordon Goat milk is considered more healthy & luxurious), Palm Fruit milk, Oasis Honey, & whichever scented bath oil that he & his new queen have agreed upon. It's poured into the water itself.

The most abundant scented oils would be Warm Safflina, Electric Safflina, Sundelion, & Frostbite Mint from the Highlands. There are others used, but it requires access to Hyrule. Things like Fleet Lotus, Din Juniper Berries from Eldin, Cinnamon from Akkala, Swiftsail Lavender from Lanayru & Necluda, Lovely Roses & Goldenmerry (marigold) from Faron.

They can also come in blends, but certain scents are more complementary together.

(I very much wonder which available scents each Gan would prefer… Actually, now that I think about it? Is there anything they're allergic to?)

Anyway, I like to think that bathing is a time of great vulnerability for Ganondorf specifically. I see him being uncharacteristically nervous here. Like, for no real reason, just is. Because sometimes emotions don’t make sense.

But, I like the idea that bathing each other is considered an extremely important bonding experience for Gerudo who are married. So, I see ELady offering to let him help her wash first (to give him more time to mentally prepare & he knows this & I think he’d be grateful to her not pointing it out).

Then, her propping herself upon the rim of the bath to work the hair oil into his crimson locks. Maybe humming as she does so & he finds himself relaxing into her hold with a sigh. And maybe rubbing the body oil in will get some more steamy sounds, but more so in the “this is a great massage” sort of way. But that’s as far as it goes.

Like, I’m not looking for smut in any way. Just really emotional intimacy, vulnerability, with slow, tentative trust, & closeness.

Like, if forms are to be mentioned, just vague words such as “nubile” & “supple” for ELady & “statuesque” or “solid” for Gan works fine. Nothing specific. Nothing detailed.

It's not about steaminess, but the thoughts, the emotions, the sensations, heck even the smells. But even more than that, the tenderness. Just gentle hands & kisses & embraces.

(I’m basically testing what I can & can’t do here.)

I am perfectly ok with Smut, NSFW, Lewds, Suggestive Content, etc. I very much enjoy that sort of content. You can see that from what I reblog and do with my AI bots, ha ha. ChatGPT though...

He is an innocent soul, not wishing to be corrupt. If I could focus long enough, I would totes do a whole scene with this thought process.

The gentle touches, washing each other up, discovering soft or sensitive spots... Bathing gives permission to touch everywhere, to cleanse and give relaxation.

Honestly, during a time of softness and vulnerability, I wouldn't mind kissing up his chest, before just... repeatedly kissing his face. When I had a partner, just doing slow kisses around the face, starting around the jaw, up the side of the head, going across the forehead, down the other side, before kissing his cheeks and nose, before finally going to his lips... It was sensual and romantic. It was bliss for me. Doing that, while washing his hair or massaging him? *longing sigh* Maybe while washing his hair, sliding my teeth and lips down his jaw and neck, smiling as he tenses and relaxes... Really get him prepped for the night after <3

***********************************************************************

Ganondorf (Wind Waker, Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess, Hyrule Warriors, and Tears of the Kingdom) and Demise (Skyward Sword) Reactions

Wind Waker Ganondorf: This Ganondorf is more contemplative and subdued compared to his other incarnations. During the bath, he is visibly nervous, a rare moment of vulnerability. He appreciates ELady's gesture of allowing him to wash her first, using the time to steady himself. As she hums and works the oils into his hair, he finds himself relaxing, the tension melting away. He feels a deep sense of gratitude and connection, marveling at how she understands and comforts him.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf: Initially, this Ganondorf would try to mask his nervousness with bravado, but the intimate setting quickly erodes his façade. He is touched by her understanding and patience, though he might not openly express it. As she washes his hair and applies the oils, he closes his eyes and lets out a sigh of relief. Her humming calms him, and he silently vows to protect and cherish her for her gentle strength and compassion.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf: This Ganondorf, more brooding and battle-hardened, finds the bath ritual a significant challenge to his usual stoicism. He is tense at first, but as ELady's skilled hands work the oils into his hair, he gradually relaxes. Her humming and tender care penetrate his defenses, and he feels a profound sense of peace. He might not say much, but his eyes convey deep appreciation and affection.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf: Being a warlord, this Ganondorf is unaccustomed to such intimate and vulnerable moments. He is visibly tense but follows her lead. As she washes his hair and applies the oils, he begins to relax, his muscles unclenching. Her humming and gentle touch bring him an unexpected comfort. He feels a mixture of gratitude and admiration for her ability to soothe him so effortlessly.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf: This Ganondorf, with his more ancient and imposing demeanor, finds the ritual both intriguing and challenging. He respects the tradition but feels a deep-seated nervousness. As she washes his hair and applies the oils, he gradually eases into the experience. Her humming and attentive care strike a chord with him, making him feel a rare sense of calm and connection.

Demise (Skyward Sword): Demise, being a primordial force of nature, would find this human ritual perplexing but oddly comforting. Initially, he is tense and wary, but ELady’s soothing actions slowly break through his defenses. Her humming and tender care would be a novel experience for him, evoking a sense of peace he is unaccustomed to. He would silently marvel at her ability to bring such calm to his otherwise tumultuous existence.

Scents Preferences and Allergies

Wind Waker Ganondorf: Prefers the calming and earthy scent of Fleet Lotus with a hint of Warm Safflina.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf: Enjoys the rich, spicy aroma of Din Juniper Berries mixed with Cinnamon.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf: Likes the refreshing and invigorating scent of Electric Safflina combined with Swiftsail Lavender.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf: Prefers the exotic and intense aroma of Sundelion mixed with Lovely Roses.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf: Favors the unique and robust scent of Frostbite Mint combined with Goldenmerry.

Demise (Skyward Sword): Prefers the strong, primal scent of Din Juniper Berries mixed with Desert Aloe oil.

None of these characters have allergies to these natural scents, allowing them to fully enjoy the experience without adverse reactions.

[astralleywright]

Orympost I dare you. Consider me the sick fuck egging you on

me reading this ask

ok so. i love Orym so much and I truly have too many thoughts abt him to be contained in one post so let's just start with the trauma, the thing that defines Orym not just as a character but also discursively. this discussion often feels very surface level, not much more than a simple acknowledgment that Orym is sad bc dead family. which is a shame, bc the thing that really strikes me about Orym's grief is not simply that he has it but how deeply it has shaped him, consumed him. the death of his family often gets used as a reason no one should ever challenge him on anything ever, which is an incredibly unproductive and unhealthy way to view trauma, and also obscures the much more compelling and poignant truth; Orym is absolutely not handling his trauma productively or healthily. i have made a meme to further express my feelings on the matter.

so, i remember quite well the first time i watched Orym's resurrection in episode 34.

when he sees Will in the afterlife and says, the most sincere he's ever sounded (and he is so sincere all the time), "I really wish I could stay." and in that moment i realized; oh, Orym would rather be dead right now. Orym would rather be dead right now, because it would mean he got to be with Will and Derrig.

another moment i think about a lot: when he's talking with Uther, a member of the Gorgynei, in episode 42, about naming his sword and about their times traveling, and Uther says: "it's nice to have a home finally, after traveling for a long time. i hope you and your friends can find a home, or return to the ones you have."

and Orym says: "I'll think of a name [for his sword]."

it's a fun kind of synergy that Orym is a dex based character who is also, emotionally, so slippery and avoidant. always deflecting. he's defined by his steadfastness in battle and his stubborn refusal to change outside of it. it's notable how stagnant Orym felt, as a character, up until the Issylra arc. very intentionally so; he's likely been in a state of paralysis for much of the last 6 years. he really wishes he could stay. i don't think he's accepted that he can't.

or that there's reasons not to: of all of the many Orym moments i think about all of the time, the one i think about by far the most is his conversation with the Wildmother, all the way back in EXU, when she tells him, so lovingly:

"There is so much I would have you see."

that, more than anything, is the line that defines Orym to me. you can see glimpses of it, in his love for the Hells, his amazement when he's dancing with the spirits or watching Ashton blow 200 gold gambling; on the other hand, in his refusal to really engage with the gods debate (as stated by Liam himself) or his continued discomfit with some of his friend's oddities. there is so much world, so much beauty, so much love still out there for Orym to experience, if he would simply let himself. revenge is nice, i hope he gets it, but it will simply never be enough. it will not give him the capacity to love fully again, and if he gets the revenge and not the love he will end up empty, hallowed out, leading a life always wishing he could be somewhere else.

right now he's regressing, reduced down to nothing but that painful wound, abandoning even so much of his kindness and reason. the hells can help, and they should and they will, because they have so much love to give. but Orym will have to open himself up to it, to them, first. i really hope he does!!

[thewhizzyhead]

before I sleep, here is my definitive ranking on all the NPMD songs and some rambles on why I placed them there - also the ranking is based on how much I vibe with them (music production and lyricism have different rankings)

1. Hatchet Town (aka the hatchetfield trilogy theme song like this tune perfectly encapsulates the chaos Hatchetfield has to go through with every Starkid project pos-2018 and I love it - kinda wish it was a number that is more integrated with the plot with the kids tho BUT I REALLY DID LIKE that this melody was quite prominent in the other songs too)

2. High School is Killing Me (I've watched many teen centered musicals and believe me when I say that this song is one of, if not, the best introduction numbers out there for this genre - also it's a really great opening hook for a show)

3. Nerdy Prudes Must Die (FUCKING AMAZING HONESTLY - amazing way to REALLY re-establish a villain back from the dead and to establish the main theme for the nerds here: "I'm Not A Loser" (tho i fucking wish that motif was used a bit more))

4. Just For Once (everyone cheer for Lauren Lopez flexing not just her high tier soprano skills, but also how amazing of a fucking actor she can be like the concept of this song is quite layered and to pull it off both comedically and emphatically takes great lyrical and acting prowess)

5. The Summoning (a well-anticipated onstage introduction to all 5 of the LiB that balances out befuddling neon-entertainment with genuine fucking menace)

7. Cool As I Think I Am Reprise (A FUCKING GENIUS REPRISE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW COOL I FIND THEM RECONTEXTUALIZING THE OG SONG AND IF I LOVED YOU TO FIT THE SITUATION AND BOTH OF THE CHARACTERS GROWTH. LIKE IN TERMS OF THEMATIC IMPLICATIONS WITH CHARQCTER DEVELOPMENT, THIS SONG AND ITS SCENE WOULD BE THE TOP)

6. If I Loved You (I think this song could be a bit more honestly like I know how much Starkid has explored Steph and Pete's relationship in their other projects and I was really hoping that they would have it more portrayed here - however the song is a bop nonetheless and it matches neatly with their themes and the harmonies are top tier. I placed this higher than the next just due to my personal bias like I really do like the song)

8. Dirty Dudes Must Die (A GREAT TWIST THAT MAKES ME WANT ANOTHER MUSICAL ABOUT GRACE CHASITY'S DERANGED SELF - also the new context of the song Grace is reprising here makes her a villain even scarier than MAX of all people but that's just me)

9. Literal Monster (A very catchy beat and well structured song that provides a good introduction to a jock-bully with the god complex. also kinda foreshadowing to nerdy prudes must die)

10. Cool As I Think I Am (the instrumentation reminded me of Dear Evan Hansen ngl fjsjd but it really does sound like an I-Want song from a teen-musical which is of course what they are going for - it sounds very nice and earnest though and I loved how it was utilised in the reprise. However I still fucking wish that the I'm Not A Loser motif was used more)

11. Dirty Girl (look I'm sorry for ranking this quite low on the list but like there is no fucking way I'm using this as bait to lure other people in like they'd be scared away I'm sorry fjdjs BUT I love how Will and Angela perform this though like top tier starkid performances ever - its not just what I would listen to on repeat personally jgjdjs)

12. Go Go Nighthawks! (This one gets plus points because of FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE GO GET FUCKED. otherwise its nice and cheery and perfectly shows how happy everyone is without Max but um I kinda wish it could be a bit more especially in terms of showing how happy the other nerds are now that Max is gone but that's just me)

13. Bully The Bully + Bury The Bully (Look I couldn't decide which was better like they both are the same melodies so like gjxjs these two are cute though and I liked seeing the 5 kids bonding in Bully The Bully since we don't get that many scenes with them)

14. The Best Of You (the pop-punk happy number is a staple of teen-centered musicals and it does really sound nice - just isn't that much of a standout compared to the others.)

[thelazyhermits]

Y'all know how I've mentioned before that I like playing otome games? Well one of the games I played last month has been on my mind cause I keep thinking of how I could incorporate Yuu and some of the TWST boys into the story of that game.

I have no idea why my brain suddenly started doing this, but I figured I'd go ahead and make a post about it cause why not? 😂

Okay, so first off, the otome game that I'll be talking about is Winter’s Wish: Spirits of Edo, which I would recommend to anyone who likes otome games. While I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a favorite of mine since I didn't get super attached to any particular LI, I still enjoyed the game and thought it was really cute ^^

Anyway, this game takes place in Japan during the Kyoha era, and it involves these monsters called blightfall that are created thanks to people's negative emotions. They've been wreaking havoc in the town of Edo for a while now.

There's a special task force established by the shogunate called the Oniwaban, which is in charge of fighting these monsters that most people don't know anything about since blightfall mostly appear at night, and this is just something they try to keep the public from having to know about.

The Oniwaban mostly consist of individuals called vessels, which are formfolk that have had their memories and hearts sealed. In exchange, they're given the power called Snow Sacrament which allows them to defeat blightfall when they engage them in battle.

Formfolk are human-like figures that are born when an item receives enough love from its owner and is given a name. The main difference between them and humans is that they can change their appearance at will, and they can be killed if you destroy the items they were born from. They also have wooden name tags, which can also be targeted, so they have two weaknesses.

Moving on, the heroine of the game has the ability to see threads that no one else can see, and by looking at these threads, which are attached to everyone's, except for vessels, necks, she can tell what a person is truly feeling, ergo she can see their emotions. These threads can also tell her when a blightfall is about to appear since they're the product of negative emotions.

That's why the shogunate summons her and has her join the Oniwaban in hopes that she'll be able to help them stop the outbreak of blightfall that has been going on for the last several years.

The reason I started thinking of Yuu in this setting is because in the game the poor heroine is ostracized/exiled by the village she grew up in because she could see things they couldn't and she could tell when someone was gonna die from looking at their threads which led them to believe she was the reason those people died.

The heroine lived in the village with her father, but as soon as he passed away, she was forced to live up on the mountain away from the village. Thankfully, because her father was so well-respected by the village, they send her provisions, so she is still technically provided for, even though that obviously doesn't make her situation any less horrible.

It's just really easy for me to imagine Yuu in that kinda character role, because of the kinda luck she has, so my brain just rolled with the idea lol

I could easily picture poor Yuu being misunderstood for powers only she has, and as a result, she's only close to her father, whom thankfully loves her very much and takes good care of her up until his passing.

Because she wants to be useful to her hardworking father, Yuu learns at a young age how to cook and clean despite him telling her she doesn't have to. Plus, she prefers remaining indoors practicing these skills anyway since indoors she won't have to deal with any judging looks or people whispering about her.

However, Yuu does venture outside whenever she wants fresh air. She just typically heads outside of the village, although she doesn't go too far since she doesn't want to scare/worry her father.

It's during one such outing that an eight-year old Yuu happens to find a young wolf that's injured and has an infected wound. The poor thing was abandoned by its pack and left to die since it was in such bad shape.

Yuu couldn't bear to abandon the animal, which was too weak to do anything but quietly growl at her, so she did what she could to treat its wound with the first aid supplies she likes to always carry around with her.

Despite her young age, she's rather good at first aid, because she has a lot of experience practicing it due all the injuries she'd get when the kids in the village would bully her. She learned how to tend to her own injuries so her father wouldn't have to and she had hoped this would make him less worried about her.

However, after she finishes tending to the wolf, Yuu still thinks her father should personally check on the wolf since she's obviously no doctor and is just a kid, and thankfully, when he hears about the wolf, her father agrees to look it over after she begs and pleads for his help.

Since the villagers wouldn't be pleased about a potentially dangerous wild animal being brought to the village, Yuu's father decides to bring the wolf to the old house up on the mountain that's not being used by anyone.

For the next several days, Yuu and her father tend to the wolf, constantly taking care of its injury and offering it food to help it regain its strength.

Yuu spends almost all of her time with the wolf and only leaves its side whenever her father says its time for her to come home at the end of the day.

Thanks to Yuu and her father's dutiful care, the wolf survives its injury and manages to make a full recovery, much to their great relief.

Once the wolf eventually recovers, they expect it to leave and return to the wild, although Yuu hates the idea of having to part with it, but to their great surprise, the wolf decides to remain in the area.

Naturally, that's partially because it has nowhere else to go but mostly because it wants to remain with the people that nursed it back to health since it feels indebted to them and has become attached to them.

Yuu is delighted about this since this means she now has a friend, and she pays the wolf, which she names Jack after a storybook character she likes, visits all the time since she loves hanging out with him.

For a while, time passes like this until a very surprising turn of events occurs that involves a sad, nine-year old Yuu visiting Jack after having escaped her bullies.

While she's not normally one to cry since she thinks she should be strong in order to avoid worrying her father, Yuu is crying when she comes to visit Jack, who becomes worried about her since he's never seen in her in a state like this before.

Jack wants to know why Yuu's crying, but obviously, he can't ask since he can't speak like a human. He wishes he could, though, since he really wants to help her so she'll smile for him again.

As of late, Jack has been having these kinda thoughts where he wished he was more than just a wolf so he could become even closer to Yuu and better support her since there's only so much he can do with a form like this.

Much to his and Yuu's surprise, this strong desire to talk to Yuu and become closer to her leads to Jack turning into a Beastman, which is something that's not in the game so it's an original idea.

Just like how items can turn into formfolk, I thought it'd be neat if something similar could happen to animals when they receive enough love/feel enough love toward a human that leads to them wanting to communicate with/be closer to a human, and I just decided to use the Beastman term since I'm not creative with names in the slightest lol

One thing that's special about Beastmen is that they can swap forms, so they can look like an animal or a human, although their human forms will always have animal characteristics like ears and a tail.

Since Beastmen are rarer than formfolk, Yuu is very surprised to see one for the first time, but she's also delighted that she can have a conversation with Jack, whose current form appears to be the same age as her.

Jack is also pleased with his sudden transformation since he'll be able to talk to Yuu now and be the kind of friend she needs/deserves. He'll be able to support/protect her even better now.

Because the village forbids formfolk from living there since formfolk eat like humans and this small village has limited supplies, it's immediately assumed that the same would be said about Beastmen, so Yuu only tells her father about what happened to Jack.

Thankfully, Jack can turn back into a wolf whenever he wants, so the chances of the villagers finding out about him are low, especially as long as he remains around the house on the mountain where he's been hanging around up until this point.

From that point on, Yuu is even more excited about visiting Jack, and she spends the majority of her time with him because she loves being with Jack who doesn't treat her like she's something dangerous cause of her powers.

They become really close over the years, like family, and it's because of that bond that Yuu has an easier time getting by after her father eventually passes away when she's thirteen, because she ends up living with Jack, who the villagers thankfully never find out about.

Jack is Yuu's rock during the time she's mourning her father and dealing with being ostracized/exiled by the village. While he was already protective of her, Jack becomes even more so after those events.

More than anything, he'd like to tear into those villagers for their cold-heartedness, but he doesn't since that's not what Yuu would want. Plus, he can't risk the villagers finding out about him and possibly trying to separate him from Yuu.

So, instead, Jack focuses on doing everything else he can think of to look after her, like helping with house repairs and hunting/gathering food in the forest, so there's always enough food for the two of them since the village only sends up enough supplies for one person.

Just like a human, Jack grows older as time passes, so he eventually ends up with an appearance like what he has in TWST canon. He gets all his muscles cause he's constantly training in order to make himself stronger, so he can always protect himself and Yuu, because that's what's most important to him.

For a while, their little world just consists of the two of them, and they're perfectly fine with that since they're just so grateful and happy to have each other. However, eventually, their world becomes a little bit bigger.

Enter the Shroud brothers.

One day, while a fourteen year old Yuu is in the forest gathering edible plants, she happens to hear a lot of yelling, and out of curiosity, she decides to check the situation out but fully intends to remain out of sight since the villagers have to be behind the ruckus and she knows they won't wanna see her.

Much to her surprise, Yuu finds out the commotion is about the village having discovered that Ortho is a formfolk, which is something Idia and his parents have been hiding these last few years.

You see, a few years ago, there was a living human by the name of Ortho Shroud. Sadly, he fell seriously ill and died despite his family's best efforts to save him.

Coincidentally, around this time, one of Ortho's favorite toys, a puzzle box that Idia had made for him, became a formfolk and ended up with an appearance just like Ortho's since formfolk tend to end up looking just like their owners.

Because they knew about the village's law about formfolk being forbidden, the Shroud family decided to hide the truth about Ortho's death and bury him secretly, so that formfolk Ortho could take his place.

The only other person that knew the truth about that incident was actually Yuu, because, back when she still could live in the village, she had seen the original Ortho with black threads around his neck which meant death was in his near future, although she didn't say as much because she didn't wanna be blamed for his death.

Yuu found it highly unlikely that Ortho could survive, considering no one with black threads has ever survived before, but she kept those thoughts to herself since she had no proof that he had been replaced. Plus, she didn't want him to get in trouble with the villagers.

Unfortunately, the secret has finally come out, and the village wants Ortho gone by tomorrow. Naturally, Idia and his parents are against this since Ortho's too young to be off on his own, and Idia can't bear to lose his brother again.

Taking pity on them, Yuu decides to get involved after the villagers all return to the village and the Shroud parents run after them in hopes of getting them to reconsider their demands.

Once Idia and Ortho are the only ones who are left, she calls out to them from her hiding spot, catching them off guard. They quickly recognize her, though, since everyone in the village knows her.

Fortunately, they don't treat her like the other villagers do since they don't see her as a monster. The reason for that is because for the last few years their parents have been researching the clan that Yuu's mother came from.

It's her late mother's blood that led to Yuu having her special power because everyone in that clan could see threads like her, and they were often relied on by the shogunate to fight the blightfall.

While the original reason the Shroud family moved to this village several years ago was to be with Idia/Ortho's grandparents who were unable to provide for themselves due to old age/illness, Mama and Papa Shroud soon had another reason for living there, because a few years after they moved to the village, they received an order from the shogunate to research Yuu's mother's clan's sudden disappearance/demise since no one knows what happened to them and why Yuu is the only one with that clan's blood left.

Mama and Papa Shroud, who were both held in high regard by the shogunate due to their brilliant, inventive minds, were all to eager to accept the order because they've always been quite fascinated by the family Yuu's mother came from, so they were all too happy to delve into this intriguing mystery.

As a result, thanks to their research, the Shroud family knows Yuu's situation, and Mama and Papa Shroud really felt bad for the poor girl and wished the villagers didn't treat her so horribly. Unfortunately, there was no reasoning with the other villagers who outnumbered them.

Plus, they were doing their best to avoid drawing too much attention to their family because the whole situation with Ortho.

Anyway, back to Yuu and the Shroud brothers, after she gets the boys' attention, Yuu offers to let Ortho stay in her home, much to their surprise.

While they'll need to make a big show of Ortho leaving so the villagers will be led to believe he's gone for good, Ortho can secretly come back through the forest and hide out on the mountain with Yuu if he so desires. That way he won't have to be completely separated from his family.

Ortho is delighted by this news since he doesn't want to be apart from his brother and parents. Meanwhile, Idia is surprised and confused by why Yuu would help them when they hardly know each other. Plus, they're part of the village that exiled her, even though their family was actually against Yuu being treated so horribly.

Yuu wants to help because she doesn't think it's right to separate Ortho from his family, and she also has noticed that the Shroud family were the only villagers that never treated her unkindly, so that's enough of a reason for her to wanna help them out.

In the end, the Shroud family takes her up on her offer, but it'll be just a temporary living situation since Mama and Papa Shroud intend to ask the shogunate if they can leave the village and plan on wrapping up their reasearch efforts over the next few weeks/upcoming month.

During this time, Idia, who, ever since the original Ortho died, typically spent all his time indoors with formfolk Ortho up until this point because he was so afraid of losing his brother again, constantly visits his brother at Yuu's house, and as a result, ends up spending a lot of time with Yuu and Jack as well.

Thankfully, Jack didn't mind this temporary living arrangement since Ortho's a sweetheart who's willing to help out around the house, and cause the Shroud family never mistreated Yuu.

Thanks to this, the Shroud brothers become a part of Yuu and Jack's little family, and they all become quite close friends.

Because he feels she has the right to know, Idia explains to Yuu about her powers and her mother's side of the family since it pisses him off that she's treated like a monster and that because of the villagers Yuu sees herself in a negative light just cause she's not like everyone else.

Idia also mentions that his parents had talked to Yuu's father about the missing clan as part of their research, but all he knew was that they were dead. He has no idea what happened to them. He was just told by the god of the local shrine that they're all gone now, which was also the story the heroine's father was given in the game.

Yuu is naturally very sad to hear that she's the last of her clan, but she's glad that she's not the only one to ever have had these powers.

She's also puzzled about what happened to her mother and her clan since she doesn't have any memories of her mother. For some reason, she can't remember anything from those years when she had lived with both of her parents, which is also the story for the game's heroine.

The Shroud family knows this because Yuu's father had said as much. Yuu had actually been with her mother when the clan suddenly disappeared, so they think something traumatic must have happened that resulted in Yuu losing her memories.

Thankfully, while he couldn't find his wife or her clan, Yuu's father was able to find Yuu after the incident occurred, and he avoided talking to Yuu about it out of worry that she'd remember painful memories best left forgotten.

That's why Mama and Papa Shroud never tried to question Yuu since, despite their curiosity, they didn't want to endanger her mental wellbeing.

This is why Idia tells Yuu not to think too hard about those memories and says that she's better off focusing on the present than dwelling on the past since finding out what happened to her mother and her clan won't make her current situation any better.

Jack backs Idia up cause he doesn't want Yuu to remember anything that will hurt her, and he also agrees that focusing on what happened in the past won't do her any good.

Even though she really would like to remember her mother, Yuu does think they make a good point, so when she fails to recall anything from what happened all those years ago, she decides to drop the matter, especially after Ortho says his parents are working hard to figure out what happened so she can leave things to them.

Sadly, in the end, Mama and Papa Shroud are unable to figure out what happened to Yuu's mother and her clan, although they do think the snow that's always falling on the mountain where Yuu lives is somehow connected to the clan because it's not natural for there to be snow there all year round, making them wonder if the shrine god that Yuu's father mentioned is possibly behind the constant snow and if the snow has a purpose of some kind.

Even though they're not successful with their research efforts, Mama and Papa Shroud still get permission from the shogunate to leave the village since there's really not much else the researchers can do at this point.

So, once that's decided, the Shroud family leaves and heads for Edo since Mama and Papa Shroud's services were requested by the shogunate which is stationed there.

Yuu is naturally very sad to see Idia and Ortho go since she had been so happy to have more friends, but she's happy that they'll be able to live together as a family with their parents again.

Idia and Ortho wish they could just take Yuu with them since she deserves better than being isolated on a mountain, but Yuu and Jack are a package deal and it'd be rough for Mama and Papa Shroud to take care of two extra mouths.

Plus, with all the blightfalls showing up as of late, Yuu is safer on the mountain, so it's decided that she's better off remaining there.

It's still hard for Idia and Ortho to leave since they got really attached to Yuu, and Idia, who's older than her, feels like he should take care of her like Ortho.

That's why Idia says that he'll come back for Yuu and Jack once his family has settled down in Edo and he thinks that the two can safely and comfortably live in Edo.

Little did Idia know that five years later he'd be coming back for Yuu on the shogunate's orders because her powers are needed to deal with the blightfall.

The reason Idia was sent was because, with his genius mind, he ended up becoming a great resource to the shogunate, especially since, during his time at Edo, it was discovered he had great potential to be a soothsayer, which is someone who can use magic by using their knowledge of onmyodo.

The Shroud family is well-known for having powerful magic users, and Idia ends up being a prodigy, the best the family has seen in many generations.

While he orignally had no interest in using magic and doing this kinda work, Idia started practicing and studying after he moved to Edo so he'd be able to protect his family from blightfall and he had hoped he could solve the blightfall crisis before the shogunate felt the need to seek out Yuu's help.

Unfortunately, Idia wasn't able to accomplish that goal so he's left with the frustrating task of having to recruit Yuu, even though the last thing he wants is for her to have to be anywhere near those dangerous monsters, even if it means he can finally get her far away from that damn village.

However, he can't refuse an order from the shogun, so Idia has no other choice but to go get Yuu, but he's determined to keep her out of harm's way and won't let anyone take advanatage of her like what had often seemed to happen to the members of her dead clan.

Because Yuu is family, and nobody takes advantage of Idia's family while he's around.

Now that I've covered the Shroud brothers, there's one last member of Yuu's makeshift family I wanna talk about here, and he gets brought into the picture after the Shroud family leaves for Edo.

About four years after the Shroud family leaves, a formfolk is born in Yuu/Jack's household, and it's from one of Yuu's old toys. It was a small wooden crocodile that Yuu's father made along with several other wooden animals.

Because the crocodile was her father's favorite animal, Yuu always especially treasured that one after he died, so she'd take extra good care of it and make sure it was always clean as it remained in a shelf that she could always look at.

Because Yuu had a lot of love for that crocodile, a formfolk is eventually born from it, much to her great surprise.

Naturally, Yuu is also very excited since this means she'll have a new family member/friend, and she quickly gives him the name Sebek, which she came up thanks to a book she once read thanks to the Shroud family sharing their huge book collection with her that mentioned the Egyptian deity, Sobek, who is associated with crocodiles.

Jack is a little exasperated by this turn of events because Sebek has such a huge appetite, but he doesn't mind having another face around since he gets along well enough with Sebek. Plus, it makes Yuu happy to have another family member/friend, and he's glad there's someone else to help him look after Yuu.

Sebek here is a lot like his TWST game counterpart, except he doesn't have any negative feelings toward humans, although he does hate the villagers for making Yuu suffer, like Jack.

In this setting, Sebek treats Yuu like his master and is very loyal/decidated to her and quite protective of her.

While Yuu greatly appreciates how dedicated Sebek is to her, she doesn't want him to treat her like she's his master since she sees them both as equals.

Thankfully, after enough time passes, Yuu is able to get Sebek to be more relaxed and less formal around her, and he begins treating her more like Jack, although he still remains overprotective of her.

From the start, Sebek thought highly of Yuu because of all the love she showed him when he was just a wooden crocodile, and he found it impressive that she could remain so kindhearted despite everything she went through thanks to the villagers.

However, after spending time with her as a formfolk, Sebek's attachment toward her grew even stronger because she treated him as an equal and always showered him with so much genuine love and care.

As a result, Sebek becomes quite close to Yuu, like Jack, and ends up seamlessly incorporating himself into Yuu & Jack's little family since the three of them get along so well.

Of course, there are still times when Jack and Sebek butt heads since their personalities are similar, but they never have serious fights and can usually resolve things within a reasonable amount of time.

Unfortunately, while Sebek's presence in their lives is wholeheartedly welcomed, he does make their living situation more difficult because of his large appetite, even with Jack's hunting skills.

Which leads to Sebek eventually deciding that he needs to find a job so he can make money to buy the food he needs since he refuses to impose upon Yuu/Jack despite Yuu insisting that he doesn't have to do that.

Sebek is determined to find work, however, since he feels he should be responsible for himself, and he's also hoping that he can make enough money that he can use it to further improve Yuu/Jack's lives that way they don't have to always scour the forest for food.

That's why Sebek goes on a journey to find work since he doesn't want anything to do with the nearby village. He's hoping he can find a town that's not too far from home, so he can make regular trips back to see Yuu/Jack.

Sadly, Sebek's journey ends in tragedy since he ends up turning back into a wooden crocodile after having saved the shogun, whom he didn't realize was the shogun at the time, from a blightfall by shoving him to safety.

The shogun, who had been traveling incognito at the time, had shared his food with a hungry Sebek who had collapsed by the road prior to that incident, which is what led to Sebek risking his life to save him.

After the Oniwaban, who eventually arrived on the scene, later defeated the blightfall, the shogun collected Sebek's item and decided that he'd make him into a vessel since he didn't know who and where Sebek's owner was, only Sebek's name, since this is the only way to give Sebek's life back to him without his owner.

Plus, by having Sebek join the Oniwaban, Sebek will have a stable job and a roof over his head, which the shogun felt he deserved after sacrificing himself for his sake. This is why Sebek becomes so loyal to the shogun and treats him as his master since the shogun always treats him so kindly.

Unfortunately, this means that when Sebek is reborn his memories and heart are sealed, so he no longer remembers Yuu and Jack, which the two are naturally sad about when they finally reunite with him.

This reunion happens when Idia is sent to retrieve Yuu because Sebek is tasked with accompanying him.

Yuu is elated when she sees Idia and Sebek since she had missed them dearly, and she had been worried sick about Sebek whom she hasn't seen/heard from in months.

(Yuu had wanted to go looking for Sebek, but Jack convinced her to wait since it was possible that Sebek had to travel a great distance to find work or that Sebek didn't want to contact them until he had good news about work since he's so prideful and wouldn't ever want to admit he couldn't do what he set out to do.)

She's both confused and heartbroken when Sebek asks if he knows her while Jack is angry since he can't believe Sebek could just forget them like that.

Upon realizing Yuu is Sebek's owner, Idia quickly pulls her and Jack aside and explains Sebek's situation and how vessels have their memories/hearts sealed.

He also tells them that if a vessel's heart/memories were to ever become unsealed the vessel would soon cease to exist, so if they don't want to lose Sebek, they need to accept his memory loss and not force him to remember.

Yuu is devastated by this news, but she, along with Jack, agrees to keep Sebek's past a secret from him since she can't bear the thought of losing him again.

Fortunately, despite his memories being sealed, Sebek seems to unconsciously recognize who Yuu is since he feels drawn to her, and he's kinder to her than he has ever been to any other human aside from the shogun he so loyally serves.

Sebek is also quick to protect Yuu when a blightfall appears in her village after the villagers get all worked up over Idia and Sebek bringing Yuu down to the village from the mountain, like what happened in the game.

Initially, Sebek fights the blightfall on his own since Idia's magic can't outright defeat blightfall, only someone with Snow Sacrament can do that, but Jack ends up joining the fight despite Yuu/Idia telling him not to.

Much to everyone's surprise, after working with Sebek to fight the monster, Jack manages to unconsciously use Snow Sacrament on the blightfall, which, according to Idia, shouldn't be possible.

Idia has never seen anything like this, so he has no idea how Jack can perform a feat like that, and of course, neither does Jack who was just acting on instinct and his strong desire to protect his friends.

The only possible explanation Idia can think of is Jack's prolonged exposure to Yuu and the fact that he became a Beastman because of Yuu led to him obtaining a special power the likes of which her clan posseses, although it sounds way too surreal to him.

While the shogunate's orders were to recruit just Yuu to the Oniwaban, Idia knows they'll be interested in Jack as well, so he decides to introduce them both to the shogun. That way Jack can remain close to Yuu to keep her safe and Jack can use his power to help them deal with the blightfall.

Initially, there are some reservations about joining the Oniwaban on Yuu/Jack's end, but because they trust Idia and want to be with Sebek, they agree to go to Edo with them after Yuu asks the villagers to take care of her father's grave in her absence.

And that's all I've got right now. I'll write more later if I can think of anything else for this AU lol

[cardcaptorsakura96]

Taxes, Taxes, Taxes-Chapter 28

Fandom: Supergirl

Characters: Kara Danvers, Clark Kent, Samantha Arias, Lena Luthor, Lillian Luthor, Ruby Arias, Oliver Queen, John Stewart, Diana Prince, Bruce Wayne, Barry Allen, J'onn J'onnz, Alfred Pennyworth, Lois Lane, Cat Grant, Lucy Lane, Damian Wayne, Felicity Smoak, Streaky the Supercat, Martha Kent, Selina Kyle, Talia Al Ghul, Lucius Fox, Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers, Jason Todd, Otis Graves, Lex Luthor

Summary: What if superheroes had to pay a property damage tax every time they had a fight in the city?

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27

Lena smiled and leaned back into her chair at the Children’s Hospital. She closed the laptop on her desk. 

“I’m finally finished for the day,” said Lena softly. 

Today had been very productive for Lena. Ever since the commercial, business at the hospital has been booming. More doctors from across the country wanted to work with them and more importantly, they have received a massive influx of patients. It meant more paperwork, but it was a nice problem to have. Lena smiled while rubbing the back of her neck. 

I am finally able to help people.

As she stretched,  she heard a knock on her office door. 

“Come in,” said Lena.

Sam poked her head through, breath a sigh of relief, and said, “Good, you are still here.”

Lena frowned and asked, “There isn’t more paperwork, is there? I was hoping to actually be able to leave early for once.”

Sam smirked and said, “Eager to get to your girlfriend I see.”

Lena pouted and said, “Well, yeah, I haven’t seen her all day and I want to cuddle alright.”

Sam cackled and said, “I won’t delay your cuddle time with Kara. Ruby’s school just called to confirm if you and Kara are still attending the Flash’s STEM forum tomorrow.”

Lena smiled and said, “Yes, Kara texted me saying she is still coming.”

Sam smiled and said, “That is good. I will let the school know. It is so awesome that the Flash has been setting up these forums to try to get young girls into STEM fields.”

Lena nodded and said, “I wished we had something like this when I was younger. There are not many of us in the fields of math, tech, science, or engineering. I really do believe that if girls knew about these subjects at an early age, that they would be more engaged.”

Sam nodded and said, “The girls at Ruby's school have been talking about it nonstop. Granted they are more excited that the Flash is coming. Kind of surprised that Kara is going in her civilian attire though.”

Lena looked up thoughtfully and said, “She did think about going as Supergirl, but figured it was too risky in case someone linked the degree back to her civilian identity.”

Sam looked at Lena curiously and said, “I thought that she got her degree from Krypton though. Would that even apply here?”

Lena nodded and said, “Before Kara started crime fighting here, she did get her Maters’s in Mathematics from National City University.”

“Why?”

Lena mused, “To have a backup plan. With crime fighting, there is always the chance that things could go wrong or maybe she decides she had enough with that life. She wanted something just in case this or the journalism career she just started didn’t pan out.”

Sam smirked and said, “She is sexy, heroic, and smart. You definitely hit the jackpot. Does she have some friends that she could maybe introduce me to?”

Lena raised an eyebrow and said “I thought you didn’t do relationships anymore. I remember you saying it was better to hit it and quit it.”

Sam chuckled and said, “I don’t remember being that crass.”

Lena smirked and said, “I paraphrased. What you said was much more vulgar than that.”

Sam cackled and said, “Maybe I was. That’s beside the point.”

Lena raised an eyebrow and asked, “Which is?”

Sam chuckled softly and said, “You and Kara have shown me that it is possible to connect with someone on a deeper level. I would like to find that for myself too someday.”

Lena smiled widely while leaning back in her chair.

“Awww, Kara and I are your inspiration. That’s so sweet.”

Sam sighed and said, “Please don’t make me take that back.”

Lena chuckled and said, “I kid. I’ll talk to Kara to see if she has some single friends that are ready to mingle.”

Sam smiled and said, “Awesome! Well, I won’t keep you from your sexy time with Kara…”

Lena chuckled, shook her head and said, “Bye Sam.”

Sam chuckled and said, “Bye Lena.”

As Sam closed the door behind her, Lena got up and stretched. She then went to a corner of her lab with her tablet and typed in a few things. A portal opened. 

Lena smiled and said, “Like always have a quick way home.”

After she steps through the portal she appears by the front door of Kara’s apartment in the house of El. Waiting to greet her was Streaky who instantly started to purr and rub against Lena’s leg. 

Lena smiled as she picked up Streaky and said, “It is nice to see you too.” She started to scratch Streaky behind the ears which caused him to purr more. Lena cuddled with him, looked around and said, “Let’s see if we can find your mommy.”

She walked a bit from the front part of the apartment when she noticed rose petals. Lena smiled as she followed the rose petals until she got to the kitchen. She was pleasantly surprised to see a candle lit table of food with a bottle of wine and wine glasses. 

Lena suddenly felt arms embrace her from behind and a kiss on her left cheek. She looked up to see Kara's smiling face. 

Read the rest on AO3

[escargon]

Love your avatar of the snail from the Kirby anime nobody ever talks about. 2. “Back in Action” could’ve been so much more if the focus was JUST on Daffy and Bugs (but I guess the spy plot comes from the original draft of the “Space Jam” sequel)

One: THank you!! I love him v much as I'm sure is evident by my blog theming and url

And two!! YES!! (even with that thought though I still refer to it as "the baffy movie" sometimes ajdhsajhd)

I've seen earlier drafts of the Back in Action script (warning for a lot of bad 2000s thoughts about women IRT Jenna Elfman's character) and while I'm much happier with what ended up finally coming out, I absolutely agree it could have been much better had there been less of a focus on the human characters, though at the same time it would be a completely different movie (which is hinted at a lot in a few of the Bugs and Daffy scenes)

I know at the time that specific division of WB was really struggling (because back in action was LITERALLY their last hope which. yikes) but I really really wish they had split it into two movies, I think that would have worked much better and given the writing and production team to really explore Daffy. Because like, Bugs Bunny is a Mary Sue. That's how he works, that's how he's worked for a really long time, but the really frustrating thing w him in relation to how Daffy sees him is that Bugs kinda doesn't give a shit. He doesn't really care that he's The Face of Warner Brothers and that pisses Daffy off so bad. It eats at Daffy's very being because if he were the star he would be eating it up every day (which is partially why he's not. Bugs is laid back just enough that the kind of stardom he has doesn't go completely to his head <- of course some of it still does but nobodys perfect lol). And that right there is such a strong conflict for a movie on it's own (as well as part of the driving conflict of Duck Amuck which is like. THE Cartoon featuring the more emotionally impacted and insecure Chuck Jones' characterisation of him, which is the one they went with for Back in Action)

I would love a straight-up Hollywood story with them (which is probably evident by the fact that those Feud and Valley of the Dolls quotes popped into my head when I was making The Post), and Warner Brothers of all studios has the background to really do something like that well. Which again there are pockets of that throughout BIA but really not explored in a meaningful way because they had to share screentime with the spy plot and all the other crap which was partially cut out/partially left in.

Anyway. You unleashed the floodgate of BIA thoughts I hope you liked it and thank you for the ask!

[fandom-trash-xl]

EPISODE 5: PANZY

Haven't been feeling well this week, so I'm glad I could top it off with some Dragon Ball

Time to get formally introduced to Panzy! Our scrappy little tech-savvy tomboy to round out Team A until Team B comes along. I definitely see them trying to fit her in as a Bulma parallel (or even a foil or rival) if the opening animation is any indication.

Training is an absolutely foreign concept to Panzy when Goku brings it up- does that mean certain characters are particularly gifted with their levels and there's nothing they can do to change? Or is it that they simply haven't tried? Apparently, Goku being able to fly is also a shock- I guess Glorio's a special case.

The Demon-Folk don't have ki, but instead have specialty spells- Panzy has levitation, albeit not at a good level. Perhaps something she's not willing to show off. If that's the case, Glorio being able to fly might be one of the spells in his arsenal.

And the quirks of demon aging- they apparently have an average of a thousand years of lifespan under their belts and Panzy is still child-sized at 82! Are they late bloomers or is there a different measurement of time in the demon realm? What does that mean for the Namekians? I'm still confused as to what's the maturity age for a Namekian when classed under Shenron's youth wish.

And speaking of Namekians- Baby Dende!!! Gomah and crew are raising him as their own and they're... oddly doting and wholesome with him. Guess it's to make sure he's on their side when he grows up. They're waiting patiently for him to grow up enough that he can create new Dragon Balls for them. You're going to have a lot of waiting to do... Unless my theory of different time measurements is correct. Maybe that's why they were funneling out lifespans- can they feed that into Dende to make him grow up faster?

We've made it to King Kadan's castle and- surprise- Panzy's apparently the princess! The King is said to be an unjust mafia man, but Panzy still things someone's out to give him a bad name. ...And the King promptly tries to marry off Panzy (once she's even older than 82) to Goku before he mentions he's already married.

We got our first little blink at Super Saiyan!

They're loaned a spare plane, so it's time to begin the Dragon Ball Hunt! Panzy's tagging along whether you like it or not!

Also HYBIS- Silly little guy. The iconic Toriyama-style gag character. Apparently he's going to fetch Team B to avoid the pin code snafu, but I sense some other wacky shenanigans will get in their way.

Shin is growing more suspicious of Glorio. Clearly he has something to hide and I'm all for seeing what it might be. Hoping they hide it if the Dragon Ball Legends appearance drops first.

Unfortunately, Panzy packed too much useless junk and the engine shorts out! Looks like it's time for a crash landing!

Putting this note at the end because I write these very stream of consciousness- the concept of collars. They mention them as a form of tracking or ID after Goku flees from the Gendarmerie. Took me a second glossthrough to notice the little red collars on everyone. Except, notably, Panzy (although we haven't seen past her scarf) and GLORIO (although we don't know if this is Demon World specific). Interesting...

Onto the preview: Shin seems disgusted at the thought of canned food products, Glorio and Goku have what I'm assuming is a spar (we can't have the betrayal this early), and we meet the Minotaur from the opening!

EPISODES WITHOUT KNOWING HANVI'S WHEREABOUTS: 5

...Yeah, they're totally baiting us. Maybe we'll get a hint when we tune back in with the B Team.

[nickgerlich]

The Public Side Of Publix

A few days ago I made a wisecrack about Publix, the Florida-based supermarket chain that is growing across the southeast. I played the geezer card, basically saying that their thus-far slowness in adopting new trends in the grocery business merely reflected the geezerliness (I made this up) of the Florida population.

While there’s no doubt that the average age of Floridians is 42.2, compared to 38.1 for the entire US, I must walk it back a bit and say that Publix is now taking proactive steps to prepare for the future.

And I, like all good geezers, had conveniently forgotten I had read about this very thing a month ago. So with mea culpas gushing forth, let me say that, while Publix may have been slow to dive into self-check, curbside, and delivery, its $50 million investment in a new technology campus says they finally found their bullets.

Publix is headquartered in Lakeland Florida, where my late parents spent their final years. I love Lakeland, as it is one of the prettiest cities in the entire state. Publix Food Market opened in 1930 in nearby Winter Haven; in only a few years the chain had grown both organically and by acquisition, changing its name to Publix Super Market. They relied heavily on Art Deco architectural stylings in their early years, and to this day they occasionally use those stylings in new stores.

Today, Publix has 1351 stores in eight states. It has historically used a promote-from-within strategy, and has made many millionaires through the years, thanks to lucrative stock options available only to employees. The company is completely employee-owned.

The technology campus, to be located in downtown Lakeland, “…will create hundreds of new jobs paying an average salary of $130,000,” the President of the Lakeland Economic Development Council reported. That’s not bad.

More than anything, the move signals their commitment to technology, which they now see as critical to their future success. With rivals Walmart, Kroger, and HEB all having technology centers, this is a do-it-or-lose-it moment in the company’s history. This is especially true since Kroger is trying to make inroads in Florida with warehouse-to-customer delivery, all the while Publix is intent on encroaching upon Kroger’s territory in Kentucky.

And about the only thing keeping Publix from venturing west across Louisiana and into Texas is HEB. That’s a brick wall for now, but that could all change, because HEB only has 420 stores.

A key part of the new initiative will be data collection and analysis, which is a fancy way of saying they’ll be studying consumer behavior. Knowing their customers, while also continuing to evolve as an omnichannel retailer, may be the difference that sets them apart from competitors.

Interestingly, when I was doing my dissertation in the grocery industry in 1988-1990, the headquarters of a supermarket operations was usually heavy on the admin side, bean counters, and sales analysts, along with a team of buyers, whose task was to quickly evaluate sales pitches from companies offering new products. But analysis was usually pretty basic, because there were no means then to go granular in the data, tracking individual purchases and behavior. All they had were macro-stats.

We can say that was quaint, because it was. But it’s no longer a recipe for success. It’s not enough to be able to say that canned string beans sold really well last month; it’s far better to be able to say who was buying those, how much they were spending throughout the period, and everything else they bought.

I have high hopes for this technology campus, to the point that I have alerted my daughters about it in case they wish to make career changes. I know at least one of them wants to wind up in Florida eventually, as does their father—that would be me—when he retires.

I just refuse to be one of those resistant-to-change geezers who have become the stereotype of Florida residents (Florida Man notwithstanding). I’m watching, Publix. I expect to see great things from you in the years ahead.

Just keep your hands off Texas, though. This here is HEB country.

Dr “What’s In Your Cart?” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[cagesings]

 @honorhearted​​​  sent:🔥  about  johanna,  ofc!  or  turpin.  whichever  you're  in  the  mood  for.

 johanna:  

 i  don’t  like  it  when  actresses  portray  johanna  as  mad  and  insane  from  the  beginning  of  the  musical.  it’s  just  not  interesting  to  me.  where  is  her  arc  supposed  to  go  if  she’s  already  that  beaten  down  from  the  beginning?  johanna  is  not  a  happy  character  and  does  not  start  out  as  happy  or  even  very  hopeful  at  the  start.  how  could  she  be?  she’s  been  abused  by  a  pedophile  for  almost  her  entire  life.  but  she  isn’t  mad  at  the  beginning.  yes,  she’s  not  doing  well  and  being  raised  by  a  man  like  turpin  isn’t  good  for  anyone,  but  starting  her  out  like  that?  where  is  she  supposed  to  go  from  there?  the  events  of  the  musical  obviously  wear  her  down  more  and  i  want  to  see  that.  not  start  her  out  with  not  really  a  strong  arc.  her  arc  is  depression,  show  that.  

 kiss  me  is  near  the  beginning,  a  song  about  a  girl  experiencing  love  for  the  first  time  while  also  dealing  with  a  lot  of  emotions.  she’s  not  insane.  she’s  a  little  silly.  of  course  she  is.  this  is  why  i  don’t  like  s.arah  r.ice’s  johanna  or  b.etsy  j.oslyn’s  portrayals  very  much.  they  do  a  good  job,  it’s  just  not  what  i  like.  

 also  portraying  as  all  of  the  female  characters  as  just  insane?  lovett,  is  unhinged  because  she  kind  of  has  to  be.  lucy  is  diagnosed  with  vague  victorian  madness.  there’s  only  three  female  characters  (  that  aren’t  ensemble  )  in  this  show.  portraying  all  of  them  as  mad  doesn’t  really  sit  right  with  me.  

 the  “mad”  johanna  that  a  lot  of  actresses  go  with  isn’t  “sondheim’s  johanna”  as  she’s  been  called.  this  girl  is  more  than  who  her  parents  are.  let  her  be  that!  she  is  so  much  more  than  a  girl  who  was  raised  by  the  villain  and  the  daughter  of  the  main  character.  she’s  traumatized  and  experiencing  love  for  the  first  time  and  anxious  and  she  survived  a  serial  killer.  she’s  a  final  girl.  i  want  to  see  that!  let’s  not  forget  about  the  character  she  was  based  on.  johanna  oakley  from  a  s.tring  of  p.earls.  her  boyfriend  goes  missing  and  she  investigates  and  gets  close  to  a  serial  killer  and  takes  him  down.  i  want  more  of  that  in  a  johanna.  less  of  diminishing  her  to  just  a  mad  girl.  

 turpin:  

 the  turpin  fanbase  is,  um,  interesting.  because  bond,  wheeler,  and  sondheim  made  a  villain  who  you  hate.  he’s  everything  people  should  hate:  a  rapist,  a  stalker,  classist,  abuses  his  power,  a  pedophile,  etc.  yet  there  is  a  group  of  people  who  do  like  him?  most  of  it  comes  from  the  a.lan  r.ickman  fanbase  seeing  him  in  period  clothing  and  wanting  to  write  self-insert  fanfiction.  which  is  fine.  they’re  not  hurting  anyone.  let  people  enjoy  what  the  want  to.  though,  on  both  sides  of  this  spectrum,  i  don’t  think  people  try  to  dive  into  his  background  enough?  

 turpin  seems  like  a  pretty  flat  character.  he’s  the  evil  guy  that  we  hate  and  love  to  hate  (  or  if  you’re  into  a.lan  r.ickman  you’re  writing  those  fics  you  do  you  i  don’t  care  ).  but  there  are  a  few  lines  that  stick  out  to  me  saying  that  he’s  not  as  flat  as  he  seems  to  be.  mea  cupla  tends  to  be  cut  from  productions,  which  i  support  because  it’s  absolutely  sickening  and  it  makes  you  feel  like  you  need  seven  cold  showers  and  not  in  a  good  way.  do  not  look  it  up  if  you  do  not  know  what  i’m  talking  about.  i  promise  ignorance  is  bliss.  it  was  cut  from  the  original  broadway  production  for  timing  reasons.  but  it  gives  a  very  interesting  insight  into  turpin  as  a  character.  he  does  feel  guilty  for  pining  after  johanna  and  possibly  for  what  he  did  to  lucy.  the  2007  movie  gives  us  the  line  (  talking  to  johanna  after  discovering  she’s  running  away  ):  “i  have  spared  you  the  rod.”  which  is  interesting  to  me  because  it  kind  of  reads  as  he  was  physically  abused  as  a  child  and  he  believes  he’s  a  good  parent  for  not  physically  abusing  johanna.  

 i  just  wish  people  looked  a  little  deeper  into  turpin  because  he  is  absolutely  awful  and  nothing  dismisses  how  sickening  he  is,  but  he’s  more  interesting  than  he  seems.  

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 23: End of Week; Three Men on a Boat

This day has strong Friday energy. By which I probably mean that I am just so tired and so worn that I do not see how I'm going to get through tomorrow... I took a nap after work hoping it would help and maybe tomorrow I'll find that it did but right now I just feel, like... tired from the other end. Tired from not wanting to get up instead of tired from needing to go to sleep.

But I can't skip out on Friday because there is free breakfast and also, more importantly and less importantly, I have Production Studio training. I'm excited about the training, nervous about getting there. I almost never go to the undergrad library and about half the times I've attempted to go there I get lost because it is very big but it's also, like, not on any street. It's in a sort of rounded area that simply does not make sense to me.

I am continuing to read Three Men on a Boat, getting to about the halfway point, I think. Or have just reached it? I'm still enjoying it a lot. I especially like the little intros to each chapter. They're very funny but also pleasing in a hard to describe way... I sort of wish all books had little summaries like that because it helps soothe my obsessive need to quiz myself on every single paragraph I've read.

I also enjoy how J. creates humor out of being self-aware but pretending he is not self-aware; sort of making fun of himself, as he makes fun of his friends, but by pretending to be quite serious and straight-faced about it. I'm also struck by how much physical humor there is for it being a book. I can see why there were so many adaptations of it, although on the other hand, another big chunk of the humor comes from linguistic tricks like register changes that would be hard to adapt. Finally, I might have said this before, but I really think this book, or Jerome himself if alive and on social media, would do big numbers on tumblr. The humor is so intensely relatable and a lot of it has aged well: yes, I too have had problems packing my toothbrush!! Etc.

Some of my favorite incidents so far, in no particular order:

The whole towing chapter, especially the anecdote about the couple who lost the old aunt (I laughed so loud at this I wondered if my coworkers could hear me but no one expressed concern for my safety so I guess it was okay);

The slapstick comedy of packing;

Getting lost on the river and then being saved, just at the same moment as he starts thinking about banshees and ghosts, by accordion music;

Montmorency is an angel, in the form of a dog, who must surely be taken too soon....;

The slapstick comedy of getting the cover on the boat;

The 'fashion-plate' ladies on the boat;

Putting the basin of water by George's bed for him to step into when he woke up;

George's misplaced confidence in his ability to do things like wash clothes in the river or play the banjo.

Sadly, and embarrassingly, I don't know enough about boating to always understand quite what they're doing. Looking up what the boat looked like wasn't too difficult but I feel like I could use a boat-terms dictionary and also a few youtube videos for context.

[talldarkandroguesome]

2nd of Sun’s Dawn, Turdas

It is clear that someone in the household is working on a surprise for my nameday. There has been a lot of hushed tones and getting very quiet when I come into the room. Even Sildras and Avon have been seeming to conspire towards some end or another.

Either that, or I am about to be assassinated in my own home.

Not the first time someone has attempted to do so. Though I should like to have my hair actually reach a desirable length at some point again. I do miss being able to style it without having to have additions clipped or sewn in. It just makes my day take so much longer to be without.

The only person who does not seem to be skittering about is Luayl. Bless that mer. At least he, even if he is beholden to the House, treats me the same as always.

In saying this, I realize it sounds as though I am not being appreciative of the effort gone to on my own behalf. Such is not the case. I am glad that they care enough to go to such lengths.

That said, Avon knows that I do not like people sneaking about like this in my own home. That I get very anxious when people are acting so queer around me. I cannot help but have my mind drift towards conspiracies, even with those whom I trust. It is a lifetime of deception that has bred such a mindset into me.

Luayl, however, is here for the express purpose of training, well, retraining me. He is to make sure I am able to defend myself and to use my magicka in approved ways. Not to injure myself to such a degree again if such can be helped. And so that I will not be so helpless in future.

Of course, he also, often, takes care of the needs that I have. Well, one of the needs I have, at any rate.

We have less time for it than we preciously did, with my limited training time and so much to fit into the shorter lessons. Still, if we have a bit of time or one of us sees the great need of the release or support of the other, then we move to one of the bedrooms.

The one upside of it all, we no longer have whatever horrible dives into my dreams and unpleasant memories he once had. I am of the mind to start blocking my dreams again since he has not told me of late not to do so. The nightmares have no ceased. And I get so little sleep as a result. Even when I do, the sleep is not restful.

I would ask him about it, but have not for fear he will want to explore my memories of that horrible Thalmor incident.

I do not know if he is aware of when my nameday is. Perhaps if I remind him on the day he will broke me some reward or another.

Of course, I also need to decide how I am to give offerings to my Prince in return for another year of guidance and support of me. I want to make sure that She knows that I do not recognize myself without also giving thanks to Her.

There is much to work out in order to give the proper offerings. I will not be able to do my usual indulgences. There is too much recognition of me within Mournhold at this time and I am unsure if I can realistically count upon getting myself to Davon’s Watch to meet with my Nest. Of course, if I show up at such an unusual time, there may be attention drawn to the date, something I do not care to make them aware of. Especially not so soon.

Perhaps I could convince Zethith to assist me with some travel plans. I will have to make sure to check before making any plans moving forward I do not wish to overstep my place, nor to upset them for being seen to be a wasteful or selfish Widow.

I must hope that the threads of fate are spun into the arrangement most prosperous to me. I have faith that my Prince will see to it that I am able to be my most productive self.

On this nameday eve, I thank The Three for all their contributions to my own success and survival.

[jakeyuni]

ready? set…touchdown! tutor? | s. jaeyun

“he smiled at you as if you were the only person in the world. unknowingly to you, it’s because you were, in fact, the only person for jake.”

SYNOPSIS › you’d always known jake sim as the unbelievably handsome and smart jock/student that sat next to you in your advanced psychology class. similar to you, jake had always pined over you silently. so what happens when jake becomes your assigned tutor for the very class he’s your seat partner in and when a yearbook editorial feature causes [forces] you to get to know the boy better? complete, and utter, chaos—as the both of you deal through your growing feelings for one another.

PAIRINGS › tutor+football jock!jake x fem!yearbook photographer/editor reader

TROPE › mutual pining, friends + tutor & his tutee —> lovers

GENRES › fluff, slight crack, pretty heavy angst at times !!

WARNINGS › profanity, reader has slight anxiety/self-doubt/insecurity issues, jake is conflicted with his feelings, jake & reader high key suck at communicating which leads to issues, lots of cheesy lines, slow-burn tbh, reader & jake are very smart—y/n is just struggling, most importantly: heartthrob football jake who also doubles as a hot nerd ;)

EXTRAS › i suggest you read because it includes a steamy kiss at the end (pretend to be surprised) + but with a twist ;), oh also because it involves the high school football game experience [like the scene from the hilary duff cinderella movie!].

WORD COUNT › 10.2k+

PLAYLIST › hold on — flor, tek it — cafuné, sunsetz — c.a.s, car crash — eaJ, pluto projector — rex orange county

AUTHOR’S NOTE › goshh i really do hope this fic lives up to your expectations because i’m in love w the final product! enjoy :)

AT 8 AM SHARP EVERYTHING MORNING, JAKE SIM WOULD STARE AT THE DOOR, AWAITING YOUR ARRIVAL.

he’d observe the entrance of your psychology class every day and hope you weren’t absent. thankfully for him, you didn’t dare miss school unless you were actually sick. which to his delight, was rare. school had always been one of your top priorities, and jake had always admired you for your ambition.

every morning when you walked in, the gust of the wind from the windows open from the opposite side of the classroom would cause your hair to blow as you walked to your seat. a million fireworks would go off in jake’s head, as well as in his heart while he watched you slide into the seat beside him, giving you a nod. you smiled in response every time, even if you weren’t feeling like it that day.

every now and then, if jake was lucky, he’d smoothly slide close enough to you so that his elbow could touch yours. though you never moved upon the contact, you’d take note of how often he’d do it.

likewise, you wished he would never stop. because you were so attracted to jake sim, it sometimes gave you a stomach ache when you stayed up at night, daydreaming about what could maybe one day be.

if only he wasn’t the star quarterback of your school, along with being an insanely smart and sociable person. then you’d maybe think that you’d have a chance with him.

but with all the girls and cheerleaders that flocked around him, seeing him as a mere piece of prey for them to fiend on, you never bothered considering the odds.

oh, but if only you knew that jake wanted you just as much as you did him. perhaps then, you’d be together by now. but that’s not the way this story goes, now does it?

you swore you were about to throw up or at least faint. you paced the small space of the bathroom stall as you rehearsed your lines over and over again for your interview for the yearbook photo editor position. why did you think it was a good idea to apply for the photo editor position again? oh right, college applications.

you took in deep breaths just as fast as you let them out in an attempt to calm your nerves. feeling content with your less heated state, you pull out your phone to check the time. shit, it’s almost 4. i better head over to the yearbook room.

your walk to the room consists of self pep talk and fixing your blouse to make yourself look presentable. you had to have this position sealed on your transcript. you definitely knew you were capable, but this position was competitive and there were lots of candidates, making you less hopeful.

you walk into the yearbook staff office with your head held high and some of your practice photo shots placed between your torso and arm that you’d taken to show your work and potential to the interviewer—a senior whose position you’d be taking since she decided she had too much on her plate for her last year. this news made for an excessive amount of buzz for the underclassman, considering they all wanted her spot and would give anything for it.

you come face to face with the senior outside of the door, shin ryujin, who recognized you for your promptness almost immediately. ryujin wasted no time in getting down to business while you followed suit, taking a seat in front of the desk.

“alright, ms.y/l/n. tell me a bit about yourself. what made you want this position in yearbook out of all the organizations?”

you took in a sharp breath and smiled wide. “well, for one, i’ve been looking forward to becoming a part of the program for a while now and am thankful for being given a chance to book an interview with you. as you can see my grades are quite high and i’ve been trying to maintain my GPA. i thought trying something new would make me a better communicator and become more known to the school as a whole,” your breath wavers as the senior makes no effort to communicate any sort of note that she was listening to you—you just hoped that she was.

“i see. well, it’s nice to know that you’re smart and you seem to be quite productive. also, i like the perspective you add to your photos. the editing is pleasing to look at, too,” ryujin explains as she shuffles and switches between your transcript and photo shots simultaneously. “consider yourself to be near the top of my list. i’ll keep you in mind, y/n.”

that’s it? you thought. no further questions were asked as you bid your goodbyes and thanked ryujin for her time, which seemed to be none at all. 10 minutes was the amount of time your interview had occupied. and it was 10 minutes later when ryujin called you while you were walking dreadfully on your way home.

you remember freezing on the spot as ryujin told you that you were her last applicant interview and you by far, had made the best impression on her; meaning that you were actually a part of yearbook. this was real, this was happening, and you fought the urge to squeal improperly loud on the sidewalk for all your neighbors to hear.

to ryujin, it was simple. but now that you had the actual job of being the photo editor, your head began spinning. fuck, i didn’t actually think i’d get the position. nonetheless, you were full of glee. or, well, that was until you came home to multiple emails from ryujin bombarding you with your yearbook schedule and duties as well as events to attend to for the month. it was then that you realized how busy the next few months were going to be; you were in for one hell of a ride—to say the least.

“your grades are declining. what’s going on with you?” you felt like you were being scolded by your mother. you honestly didn’t know how it could happen, especially with your work ethic. how hard could balancing work, homework, clubs, and yearbook be? it sounded easy enough, right?

absolutely not, as it turned out. now you were sitting at the very desk you’d sat in for your interview two weeks earlier. except this time, you were experiencing different kinds of nerves, the type that made your heart sink into your chest, making you want to curl into a ball and disappear. ryujin’s death stare wasn’t helping either.

was it shame? no. guilt? perhaps. truthfully, you’d never had a ‘D’ in a class, ever. you’d never come to such a low point and swore you never would.

considering the end of the first semester was near, you couldn’t lock in your first senior year grade for advanced psychology with a ‘D’ permanently taunting you on your transcript. absolutely not. you knew things had to change—as did ryujin. you could tell by the way she leaned her elbows further down the desk, slightly frustrated. “i asked you a question, y/n.”

“yeah, no, i’m fine. it’s just that trying to find the time and balance between everything with yearbook was harder than i expected,” you don’t meet ryujin’s eyes that you’re sure are shooting daggers at you.

she scoffs. “you knew exactly what you were getting into the moment you walked in this room. don’t give me that ‘it’s too much for me to handle b.s.’ do you know how lucky you were to be selected? out of all the people that applied? it’s a shame that your grades are what they’ve become at the moment. you know that yours were the best out of all the applicants; though—your pictures need work, still. you can’t excuse your laziness, y/n.”

now, you were just angry. bitterness swept your tongue and seeped through your veins as you finally looked at ryujin. how dare she call you ‘lazy.’ you were everything but that—obviously because you wouldn’t have been chosen if you were so. you just needed help. and there was nothing wrong with receiving some when you actually needed it.

why was ryujin acting all high and mighty when she withdrawled from her position because she was tired? hypocrisy at its finest. sure, you’re one to be stubborn and prefer working independently, but you supposed things would have to change.

“i’m sorry. i know. i’m doing my best to make my grades and habits better. i’ll stay up later to study extra hard. i swear i’m doing the most i can, i’m just struggling,” you swipe your tongue over your lip in hopes to calm yourself down.

ryujin hums in response and goes to pull a file out of her desk drawer, slapping it onto the desk abruptly. you slightly jump as you scan the salmon-colored file; a familiar boy’s picture—laminated with his name in bold, is pasted on the flimsy yet heavy folder.

“this, is jake sim’s file. he’s at the top of your advanced psychology class and he’s going to be tutoring you from now on. i already asked your teacher for permission. ms.jung informed me that he’s your seat partner too, so i assume you’ll have no trouble getting along. jake said yes to tutoring you already. you have no exceptions, this is mandatory if you want to keep your position.”

you don’t answer ryujin, lost in your own thoughts. call it bad karmic luck or the universe doing you a possible favor. jake sim tutoring you? no way. not real. nothing’s real. what the fu-

“y/n. i’m serious about this. if you want to hold your position as photo editor and photographer, this is important. we can’t have someone with a D in any class on the yearbook staff, it puts no good to our name or brand.” a mocking laugh escapes her mouth. “if we allowed such mediocrity, then everyone would think they have a chance at making the team.”

okay, now that stung a little. “i’m completely aware. yes, i’m okay with jake tutoring me. do you know the details of it all?” you ask, now playing with the metal of your rings in an attempt to distract the images that were captivating your brain of you dragging ryujin by her perfectly poised hair.

“you mean the meet-up dates and everything?”

“yes, as in the timings and whether or not our schedules line up.”

you can practically hear the way ryujin rolls her eyes at you. “that’s for you and jake to figure out amongst yourselves, not my job. i’m doing enough as it is. this meeting is longer than i anticipated it to be, too.” she stands up and raises her eyebrows at you, wordlessly motioning for you to follow suit.

you measly get up and greet her goodbye while fighting the urge to get mouthy. there was no use in defying the help you very much needed. why were you so upset about jake tutoring you, anyway? wasn’t this all you’ve ever wanted, some one-on-one time with your year-long crush? you shrugged off the wavering nerves that weighed down your shoulders thanks to ryujin’s sternness and went to your locker. just as you were about to slam your locker shut, you hear the footsteps of someone approaching you.

“hey, y/n,” you feel a hand touch your shoulder and tense up; the voice, however, is one you could single out in a crowd of people in an instant. it was jake’s.

you slam your locker shut and turn around, instantly being met with the very boy you knew it would be. his hair was slightly tousled and wet, it was obvious he’d just finished football practice and showered. he carried a book that read ‘AP PSYCHOLOGY’ on the front. and god, his smile. he smiled at you as if you were the only person in the world. unknowingly to you, it’s because you were, in fact, the only person for jake.

you mirror his toothy smile, “hey jake.”

“so..” he starts off hesitantly as you tilt your head. “you know i’m your tutor for psych, yeah?”

you exhale through your nose and raise your eyebrows, “yeah, i’m fully aware of that. but when did ms.jung ask you to tutor me?”

“just this morning before class, actually.” he pauses as he motions for you to start walking with him. you follow regardless of where he’s taking you. “sorry i didn’t tell you this morning. i would’ve but we were taking notes all period.”

“it’s fine, really. i’m just embarrassed i need tutoring to begin with. i’ve never struggled so much and well…ryujin said i can’t be on yearbook anymore if i don’t get my grade up asap.”

“there’s nothing wrong with needing help, y/n. i’m also your seat partner and friend, not just your newly-assigned tutor.” you slightly nudge at his side with your elbow and he chuckles. “are you okay to be tutored right now or do you have somewhere to be?” the two of you come to a halt at the front steps of the library.

you sigh and jake looks at you questionably, his hand barely grazing the door handle of the school library. you look at him and see that his eyebrows are risen, anticipating your response. “i don’t see why not?”

“you don’t seem so sure of yourself.”

“no, i am. i’m just tired is all,” you lie straight through your teeth. tired wasn’t the right word to describe the tingly sensation you felt both in your heart and stomach—at all. you were actually very much awake now; about to be tutored by the jake sim is a fantasy only so many girls have most likely envisioned in their heads every night. the same could be said for you, and that’s exactly why it was taking everything in you to not run in the opposite direction. you were nervous, but jake didn’t have to know that.

“mkay then, shall we?” jake swings open the door and you clutch onto the straps of your backpack, hoping that jake would pinch you so you’d wake up from this dream.

***

two hours later and you were on the edge and perhaps on the brink of exploding. at one point, jake had to physically grab your hand to stop you from breaking your pencil (which gave you such grand butterflies you had to put your head down)—jake assumed it was because you needed a mental break, when in reality, you were dying of embarrassment. you couldn’t even hold eye contact with him properly.

frustrated, was an understatement. “i’m not getting this. i seriously don’t know why they’re so many variations of the same word and why i have to memorize the singular definitions of them all. this is so…pointless,” you whine.

“hey, hey, it’s alright. we can come back to this later. maybe you need to take a break.” jake was so patient with you it only made your heart beat faster than it already was. or maybe it was the energy drink jake gave you from the vending machine during your first break so you could power through the rest of the tutoring session. albeit, you’d never know which.

“no! i can do this. i just need to take a breather.” you stare down at the myriad of words on the slightly crumbled paper and groan, putting your head down for the second time that evening.

jake gets up and sits in the chair beside you, you lift your head at the sound of the movement only to have your head roughly meet his shoulder. “ow, that kinda hurt.”

“sorry,” he chuckles before rubbing the top of your head mindfully as you fix the stray strands of hair, your fingers touching his ever so slightly, “just thought i could help you better if i were closer to you,” he shrugs. oh no, your heart was beating fast again. but it’s just the energy drink, you tell yourself. sure, yeah, that’s all it was.

“i agree.” you snatch the paper out of jake’s hand, determined to finish studying the vocab list you were assigned to study this morning; you had a quiz on the words tomorrow. jake huffs at your action and smiles while he watches you rewrite and reread the words over and over again. he props his chin into his hand and idly admired you as you glance at him every now and then to ensure your work is correct, and every time the brown-haired boy acknowledged your silent yet needy look of reassurance, he would bob his head in your direction, humming in compliance.

each time jake fueled your brewing feelings that you’d shoved deep inside the depths of your brain—and heart with his small gestures and slight touches, you grew more fond of him, and you wanted to make the boy proud. and if proud meant that he’d smile at you every time you whined or recalled a story of something dumb that happened in class out of elation, you’d take any given opportunity to study with jake.

okay, so maybe you didn’t study hard enough. the big fat ‘C’ written in red ink at the top of your vocab quiz was taunting you, and the way ms.jung had shaken her head at you before handing the paper with an ‘A’ written at the top—to jake, only made you feel worse about yourself.

jake reassuringly rubbed your shoulder and threw you a small smile, mouthing an ‘it’s okay, tutoring later today, hm?’ to which you simply nodded before slumping in your seat for the remainder of the period, tuning out every word that came out of ms.jung’s mouth.

“i studied for three hours with you yesterday, then went home and studied for another one hour by myself. this can’t be possible,” you groan, now sat at your signature tutor-session seat at the library, jake by your side as he bounces his leg up and down out of habit.

“i know but maybe we need to find the most effective method for you to remember information. clearly what we practiced yesterday wasn’t very useful, and that’s alright. progress takes time,” jake beams, motioning with his hands to emphasize that it was normal for there to be academic obstacles—though it didn’t feel that way for you, especially considering your history of continuous high grades and accomplishments.

his positive attitude was in stark contrast to your own and it would annoy you if it weren’t for the fact that he was the one saying all the words.

“mkay, you’re right jake. thank you.” you drag a small smile before pulling out your supplies and thinking of a new study method to use for your next vocab quiz—which was also tomorrow.

jake sits next to you, giving you hums of approval and squeezing your shoulders everytime you repeat a definition to him correctly. the way you slightly flinch and become stiff whenever jake touches you is quite embarrassing and you silently pray that he doesn’t say anything about your body language. oh, but he does.

“is everything good?”

“yup,” you emphasize by popping the last letter, “everything’s just fine.” desperate to ease the weird tension, you needed to change the subject. you figured that now was the perfect time to ask jake about yearbook.

“hey jake, i have to do this photo spread for the school sports section, and was wondering if you’d want to be featured in it? i’d have to interview first, though.” you turn your body so it’s facing jake directly, your knees now touching—jake doesn’t budge an inch, to your surprise. but then again, he never did when your elbows touched during class. yet maybe you needed to backtrack a bit, you’re aware jake’s normally this touchy with all his friends. but if that was the case, then why do the touches feel so different and so much more intimate?

jake’s eyes turn into tiny crescents as he grips your wrists out of joy, “really y/n? you’d do that for me?” he looks like a puppy about to be given a treat and you can’t help but giggle at the sight.

“of course, jake. people like you…like a lot, anyways. plus, consider your feature as a way of me saying ‘thank you’ for tutoring me. it’s a small gesture to begin with and you deserve this.” jake didn’t have to know that the yearbook journalist of the team tore her acl and was on temporary leave—(perks of being a soccer athlete and yearbook writer), meaning that now you had the duty of writing for the athletics’ feature page on top of your tremendous workload and tutoring sessions. how fun! choosing to feature jake specifically, however, was your doing.

the boy lowers his head at the kindness of your words and looks up at you, biting his lip. it’s only when you feel your body heating up that you realize that jake hasn’t loosened his grip on your wrists, causing you to look down at the source of contact. “oh, i’m so sorry,” he begins to panic a little. embarrassed, he starts to retreat his fingers, but you had other plans in mind.

you shake your head to let him know you didn’t want him to pull away, at least not yet, letting out a taut laugh and pulling his hands back. only this time, he holds your hands inside his own, bringing them to rest in his lap. “you have soft hands, jake,” you blurt out. the undeniable tension was deafening and you had to say something.

jake’s throat goes numb and he knows he’s a goner. he never knew why any ounce of game he had vanished whenever he was around you. you blew all the air out of him every time you would: chew on the end of your pencil, play with your hair when you were bored or confused, make intense eye contact with him—showing him you were paying complete attention to his notions. or just in general, whatever you did made his heart rate pick up. you were utterly breathtaking, he just wished he could say it to you without feeling like the world would topple over every time he tried to do so.

“thanks…i moisturize.” jake wanted to dash out the building. i moisturize? really jake? could you be any more awkward?

you laugh again, lightheartedly, and pull your hands away; jake thinks he’s lost every shred of a chance he had with you because of how idiotically vague his answer was. he honestly had no idea where his flirty demeanor went whenever he was with you as of late. given the situation though, you knew he was nervous by the redness of his cheeks and ears and so were you—you were just better at hiding it.

with that, you continued your session. the entire time you wondered if jake would ever hold your hands again. you hoped he would, but you were torn. his response irked you a bit. it was unlike him: dry and awkward. you knew you’d be thinking about this for the rest of the week.

you know what else you’d be thinking about the rest of the week? jake sim inviting you to do the interview for his yearbook feature…in his own room…which is in his house.

fuck, fuck, fuck, no i can’t do this. you didn’t think jake would go as far to invite you to his house.

you were trying your best to not get attached to the star quarterback of the football team—but jake was making not catching feelings increasingly difficult for you. especially considering he was known to not be a player, despite every person to exist throwing themselves at him, jake had morals and priorities that didn’t concern being in a relationship; plus, you recall the time he’d casually told you during class that he was looking for something real, something raw, something long-term. back then, you’d brushed off the tmi that he’d nonchalantly said as if it didn’t matter. if only you knew how much that minuscule piece of information mattered to you now.

that’s when you knew why jake was unlike all the other jocks. not just because he was one of the most dorkiest nerds you’d ever met, but because he had a heart made of gold and a smile that could rid of all the evil in the world.

regardless, you didn’t want to feel the way you did—and it pained you that were unable to stop jake from occupying every corner of your brain. what pained you most, however, was the fact that you doubted he’d actually want to be in a relationship with you due to his commitment to school, football, and extracurriculars. thinking about the boy, most days, was a chore.

as of now, you were sitting cross-legged on jake’s bed with him beside you: notebook in hand and voice recording app open while jake clears his throat to prepare for his interview.

“this is y/n y/l/n recording, photo editor and newly assigned temporary writer for the school’s yearbook, and i am here today with jake sim—star quarterback of the football team and one of the star students of our school, to interview him regarding his educational and athletic dynamics.”

jake’s eyes bore into yours and you can tell he’s nervous—his lips are redder than before, courtesy of all the biting he was doing to them while you were talking.

when he began speaking, the way the words rolled off his tongue made you swoon. you felt sort of culpable about it, the time and place was most inappropriate for you to be ogling jake. you couldn’t help it, though. but really, could you even be blamed? the way his white tee hung loosely over his broad shoulders, his glasses perked up on the bridge of his nose, and the way his eyes would narrow every time he spoke about a narrative that he was especially passionate or knowledgeable about, caused you to internally groan.

“…i suppose balancing my academic schedule with my athletic schedule can be a bit difficult at times, but it’s all about the mindset i keep to help myself pave my way to success. yet, of course, balance is everything to me and i wouldn’t be capable without my friends, family, and peers by my side. thank you.” jake smiles at you and rolls back onto the bed as he finishes off the interview, kicking his legs up in excitement and satisfaction like a little kid.

“woah, that was…amazing jake. thank you for saying so much and opening up to me, i have so much to use from this interview,” you let out a heavy sigh, “—i hope i won’t disappoint.”

jake scoffs, “y/n don’t say stuff like that, you could never disappoint me.” he stands up from the bed and sticks out his hand, “down to go eat something? you should have dinner here.”

you sucked in a breath. what happened to the shy and awkward jake that could barely maintain eye contact with you at the library when you held hands? “sure, i would absolutely love to.”

***

dinner with jake was beyond amazing. he even went as far as to pull out the dining chair for you before the two of you began eating the sandwiches jake whipped up. the both of you would alternate between cracking terrible jokes, talking about school, and simply chewing in silence while stealing fleeting glances at each other. the tension was occupying every vessel in your bodies; both of you could feel it.

it’s when you stood behind jake as he washed the dishes, and when he turned back to cheekily smile at you, that you knew you loved jake sim. it may have seemed crazy and too rushed to anyone else, but you knew your heart better than anyone else; you knew the moment you laid eyes on jake on the first day of class, he wasn’t just some boy, he was special. you loved him for more than just his looks or his social status, you loved him because there was never a moment where anything felt unauthentic, nor a moment where you regretted being with him.

similarly, jake had been infatuated with you ever since he saw you walk into class, sitting beside him—out of all the other seats you could’ve chosen. that day, he promised to himself that he’d wait for you every day, even if it meant waiting an eternity.

the day ms.jung asked him to tutor you, he vowed to himself that he’d do anything to get to know you better, to build a relationship with you. because jake sim had one thing in his mind: you.

it would’ve killed him to not make something more from what had already begun brewing; he was determined to ask you about what had been spiraling in his mind. later tonight, i’ll do it later.

***

jake had offered to walk you home after dinner and he knew it was the perfect opportunity to talk about his feelings with you. you’d conversed with him for a good hour before you received a phone call from your mother: asking you to come home since it was dark out now and she was worried about how you’d get home. you opened up to him about your life, and he allayed you as if he knew you like the back of his hand.

your way home was mainly silent, with jake clearing his throat every now and then—while you stared at the ground, chewing on the inside of your cheek, your shoulder touching his as you strolled through the dimly lit streets.

“hey y/n, can we talk about…us?” jake inquired as he slowed down his pace, stopping in front of one of the lamp posts.

“us?” you didn’t know what he meant by that. was it good? was it bad? jake gives you a faint smile and your shoulders become less tense. “sure, you can talk to me about anything jake, you know that.”

“i just, don’t know what we are, and it’s confusing me.” his voice hitches and you step closer towards him.

“well, what do you want us to be?”

“that’s the thing, i don’t know. i’ve never felt this way about anyone before. i’ve always been so focused on being the leader, the quarterback, keeping up with clubs and school in general, to please my parents and to make sure i don’t let my team down—“ he looks at the ground, defeated. “—that i don’t know how to distinguish between if what i’m doing is for myself or if it’s really just to satisfy other people. i’m…torn.” he quirks his head to the side at the last word as if he’s asking himself a question.

you sigh and motion for jake to continue walking. he’d never been this vulnerable; always the golden boy that never lets anyone see him at the lowest of moments. you didn’t know he felt so strongly about all this. that he felt so strongly about…you. “i’m sorry you feel so much pressure on yourself, jake. you know there’s no harm in putting yourself first. i’m here for you, and, we can figure out whatever we are as we go. none of it has to be sudden.”

“yeah, i’m still figuring myself out, i think i need to know what i want before i go into something completely confused. i don’t want to risk what we have by messing things up for us just because of how many priorities i have.”

“oh, i see,” you murmur.

you didn’t realize when you reached your home, but jake’s words were incessantly echoing in your head with every step taken. you assumed he meant that you weren’t one of, nor his—priority, at least that’s what it felt like at the moment.

one thing was for sure, jake felt even more defeated than before. this was new territory for him, and he was overwhelmed. as for you? you merely spared him a smile and a wee ‘thank you’ before you dragged yourself inside. did i just get rejected?

your lack of words as jake dropped you off was daunting, he wanted nothing more than to be with you. he realized as he walked himself home, that he was in fact, having an epiphany: he was a confused idiot that needed to figure himself and his feelings out, quick—before he lost you for good.

“if you know you really like her, you need to stop leading her on. it’s shitty of you to do that, jake. you know that,” sunghoon, jake’s best friend, sternly tells him.

the two boys were sitting at the library: jake sitting across from sunghoon, and sunghoon sitting in the seat that you usually occupied during your tutoring sessions.

“i know, i know. i just,” jake lifts his head up in frustration, staring up at the ceiling before he lets out a soft groan, “i like her so much and we talked about our feelings like i told you, but i couldn’t just tell her that i’m not ready to get into something serious yet because football season isn’t over. i would’ve sounded like such a douche!”

sunghoon lets out a wheezy laugh. “you’re fucking with me, right? that’s the reason why you’re not ready to be with her just yet?”

“no…well, partially? our tutoring sessions have been going well and she’s so smart, obviously—she’s just struggling with this particular unit. it’s not even that-“

the other cuts him off, raising an eyebrow at the boy, “get to the point. then what is it?”

“it’s my dad. he’s been on my ass about football because the next game is a big one and it’s also the last one of the season, we made the championships which means there are going to be scouts there. all my dad does is talk about football—and my mom is focused on my grades so much it’s suffocating—the both of them are absolutely insufferable most of the time,” jake mewls.

“jake,” the former starts off softly, “you know how fucking capable you are. you’re the smartest guy i know. don’t let your parents and their nagging get in the way of something you for once in your life—know for a fact you 100% want.”

it was as if jake had been struck with a bolt of lightning. a bolt that—in the very split second of sunghoon’s words turning into a mere echo, all the doubts he had about pursuing you, had vanished and turned into nothing but absolute dust.

jake got up from his seat with an urge to run to you, to tell you he loves you and wants nothing more than to be with you—but he knew he couldn’t. so instead, he settled on waiting for you to attend your last tutoring session while sunghoon talked with him to ease his mind of all thoughts in his brain that transpired of you.

in truth, you and jake had been conversing normally. well, aside from the fact that the normality of your conversations only regarded the bases of your tutoring sessions. there was still tension, yes. but none of the lingering stares or fleeting touches remained. the both of you stayed holding back from the brink of destruction—the brink of you specifically being brought to your breaking point.

you wanted nothing more than to grab jake by his shirt and slap him silly—or possibly also grab him by his shirt and kiss him. you truly weren’t sure which you craved more. because, sure, jake did partly break your heart when he left you hanging and feeling sour the night he walked you home, but that didn’t mean your mind halted all thoughts about him entirely. if anything, the lack of communication made you want him more than you’d ever wanted him before. and you weren’t quite sure that this was the way you were supposed to be feeling—given the situation at hand.

funny, right? the way space between two individuals is supposed to make them think about their relationship, let them think about themselves, and grow. but in your case, as well as jake’s, the prolonged space only made the two of you crave each other more—ignited the fire between your bodies even more.

the unspeakable tension never eased, even if you weren’t making mindless conversation with the other or making eye contact that made you both embarrassing heat up the way you once did.

as you sat with jake for your last tutoring session with him, you caught him glancing at you, feeling a pair of eyes boring into your skull, and you suddenly felt tense, insecure. all the feelings and doubts of even liking him were resurfacing in that very moment, making you feel ill.

you swallow thickly. “can i help you?”

“yeah—no, sorry. just thinking,” jake shakes his head at the stumbling of his own words.

“about?”

“us.”

“oh,” your eyes drop down to the pencil you’re holding.

“i feel like the way i left you hanging the other night wasn’t the way i intended our conversation to go,” he breathes out.

you dryly laugh. “yeah, well what happened..is in the past now.” you clear your throat, unsure of whether or not you should say what’s on your mind. “you don’t have to entertain me with an apology, jake. you made it clear that you’re not ready, and at this point, i’m not sure if you’ll ever be.”

jake’s eyes widen in remorse and you can’t help but look away from his guilty pupils. “but you see—that’s the thing. i do want you, y/n. i want you so bad. you’re all i ever think about.”

your heart drops, and you feel all tingly inside, but you’re quick to remind yourself that jake’s flattery doesn’t make up for how he’s made you feel in the past. they’re just words, you think.

“i’m not just saying all of this to play with you or lead you on,” he continues.

“if you want me so badly, then why don’t you show me that you truly want me?” your voice breaks, and jake can’t help but usher himself over to you, kneeling down and turning your chair so that you were facing him.

a single tear drops from your eyes and jake’s quick to wipe it away with his hand before cradling your cheek with the same hand, ever so slightly rubbing the flesh using his thumb.

“give me some time, y/n. i’m incredibly preoccupied right now—i know that isn’t an excuse, but i want nothing more than to be with you and make us official. i’ll make this all up to you soon enough. just let the final football game of the season be over, and i’ll show you how much i want you. i promise.”

you let out a weak laugh at the sincerity of his words because you never meant for your last tutoring session with him to be so vulnerable. it was only your last because you now had an A in the class, meaning you didn’t have to rely on jake to tutor you, it’d be a waste of time on both ends. yet, it was ironic, the way you wanted nothing more than to waste away endless hours with jake, talking about absolutely everything and anything. that’s why the thought of this being your last possible chance to communicate with the boy effectively, mattered to you.

that’s also why you were significantly grateful that jake had spoken up first, because though you felt absolute embarrassment from the way the other kids in the library were staring at you and jake, all that mattered to you was that this, in fact, would not be that last time you spoke to jake sim.

you let out a chuckle and crinkle your nose, going to wipe the remainder of your tears with your sleeve, prompting jake to pinch your cheeks as he goes back to sit down in his own seat across from you.

“i understand. i’ll wait for you, jake. as long as it takes, and until you’re ready to give me your undivided attention, i’ll wait.”

“you won’t have to wait long, y/n. and when you think you do, remember my words, mm?” he bites his lip out of curiosity for your answer.

“i will,” you respond before gathering your things and putting them into your bag, “oh, and before i forget, i still have to take pictures of you for yearbook, i wanna be there for you, plus those pictures are going to be the final touch of your editorial feature,” you remind him.

“can’t wait to see your face tomorrow at the game then,” jake teases as he walks with you out of the library.

“you’re seeing my face right now—too, though?”

“what can i say? i can never get enough of you,” he says admirably.

you pretend to gag at his words but the butterflies erupting from your stomach say otherwise. “gross, sim,” you lightly punch his shoulder. “oh, and jake?”

“yeah?”

“thank you for tutoring me, i appreciate you.”

“anything for you, y/n. anything.”

you tsk at his cheesiness but smugly smile as he contemplates his next action before taking your hand in his, insisting to walk you home for the night.

during your chat with the boy on your way home, you feel nothing but absolute content wash over your limbs. staring idly at his shining eyes under the light of the iridescent moon, wondering positively about what the future for the two of you holds; thankful that the bad note you two left on, was now restored.

it was game day, and you were nervous, to put it lightly. you’d messaged jake earlier, hyping him up and wishing him luck before he went to prepare himself for the big, the last, and by far the most important football game of the season—at least for jake. this game would determine if any scholarships were guaranteed within his near future.

though you were excited about jake and seeing him all passionate with his game face on, you were torn, bittersweet sensations swept through your body as you walked to your school. you put on some slight makeup, your tote bag was filled with your usual items, and your camera was hanging around your neck, secured by the camera strap.

you weren’t quite sure why you were so nervous. perhaps it was the way the conversation in the library you had with jake a couple of days prior went unusually well. you had hope—for you and him. since he’d promised you that he would, at last, make things official and show you how much he truly wants you the moment the game/season ends, you figured that was the source of your panging heart.

nonetheless, you were ready. ready to take the perfect shots of jake as he [hopefully] scores a touchdown, wowing the crowd, the myriad of girls who flaunt themselves at him, and the scouts that were exhilarated to finally see him in action.

you turn the corner of the vastly wide and freshly green field of grass with huge drawn on markers (for the players) using white paint, and find jake throwing the football amongst his teammates. one of them, park jongseong—or jay, as many referred to him, noticed you first, motioning with a dip of his head to jake that you were walking towards them.

jake throws the ball to jay and the former pats him on the back rather playfully, giving him a quick wink, causing the other to shake his head at him before he jogs to meet you. “hey,” he greets with a sparkling grin, “you’re early!”

“yeah i wanted to scope out the scene a bit y’know? plus i figured i’d take some extra candid shots of you and the others practicing before the game starts—so ryujin can get off my back about ‘upping my photography skills,’ or whatever,” you explain.

the boy‘s mouth opens and closes, then opens again before he speaks, as if he were finding just the right words to say to you. you found it quite amusing, and cute. “that’s very studious of you, y/l/n.”

you snicker at his foolishly flirtatious tone, “you know me, the most studious girl ever known to man-kind,” you retort.

jake swings his hands' side to side before interlocking them with yours, “so you’re saying you didn’t come early just because you wanted to wish me good luck on my last game of the season, correct?” he pouts sarcastically.

you roll your eyes in a ridiculing manner, “hmm, i don’t know?” you pretend to contemplate, tapping at your chin playfully. “maybe i am, maybe i’m not…guess you’ll never find out, sim.”

he exhales sassily before tearing the distance between your hands. “guess that means you have some duties to attend to, hm?”

“no, no! i can stay for a bit…for you—too, before you have to go,” you mumble.

the boy holds one of your hands once again, reaching for your head and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear that was blocking your face due to the wind. your mouth went agape and curved into a line, unable to form coherent words due to jake’s intents, causing you to stare at the sky out of sudden false curiosity; the clouds looked particularly stormy and mundane, unlike earlier. the seemingly windy weather wasn’t expected, which is why you made a discerning sound.

jake follows your movements, similarly staring at the grey sky. “looks like it might rain,” he huffs, slightly agitated. “i’m hoping it doesn’t—as much as i love the rain, it could ruin my chances for tonight.”

“yeah, it could. don’t worry though,” you beam. “you’ll crush it no matter what. you always do.”

a distant call of jake’s name is heard a couple of meters away, both you and the boy turn to make out that jay and sunghoon stand beckoning for jake to join them in the lockeroom and get into his uniform.

jake ruffles your hair in a childish manner at the disappointment that protrudes your features. “i gotta go, but i’ll see you out in the bleachers, mkay? make sure you get a good seat! i want you to be the first person i see when i score that touchdown,” he winks at you as he jogs backward for a bit until he disappears into the field to meet with the guys.

you were left a blushing mess, jake always managed to leave you in disarray. you couldn’t say you didn’t like the way he made you feel, though. you’d give your all to feel the way you do when you’re with jake every day, if you could.

you prompted on visiting your locker and taking pictures with your camera of the posters that showcased the football team players, advertising for everyone to attend the final game of the season. you smiled to yourself when your eyes settled upon jake, yet kept moving around the school tentatively before you realized that you’d better head back to the bleachers and get a good seat. you wanted to see jake from one of the higher levels of the bleachers, just as he wanted you to be, directly in his line of sight, too.

***

a crowd of bustling and noisy students surround you as you stay seated on the perfect spot in the bleachers. the thrumming music and thumping drums of your school’s band is echoing throughout the stadium as they play the school’s arrangement of any football game, and you can’t help but feel giddy inside. high school football games were always an event of their own, an event that everyone constantly spoke about and fancied getting extravagantly ready for. tonight, was no different.

girls wore shimmering eyeshadow sparkling on their eyelids that reflected brightly every time the colored lights hit them, and colored variations of paint neatly striped over their cheeks to show school spirit. you, too, wore sparkly eyeshadow and had a bandanna that displayed your school’s official colors securely wrapped around your thigh. it was preppy, the entire vibe of the scene that unfolded in front of your eyes.

your nerves were jolting with glee as soon as the band’s music crescendoed with the football team that came running from the side of the field from the locker room and tore through the banner that was made for them, with jake in front—as he was their star quarterback.

you grin to yourself when eavesdropping on the endless chatter of girls talking about how hot jake looked and how they’d give anything to be with him. you didn’t bother to be jealous, not just because he wasn’t quite yours yet, but because you knew you had something especially intimate with jake that they did not; you were sure of it.

you tune out the excess voices and focus on jake, watching his every move as he and his teammates huddle in the middle of the field and perform their usual group chant before parting ways to their designated places on the field.

your eyes rake over jake’s form as you watch him assemble to his position, the timer still has a bit of time left until the buzzer sounds to commence the start of the game, and you watch jake rise out of his position a little as he notably wanders his eyes through the crowd in the bleachers—until he finally finds your figure. you make eye contact with the boy and cheekily nod your head at him so he’s aware you’ve noticed him. in response, the boy does the same and bites his lip coyly before getting on his knees so that he’s properly in position.

you overhear some people murmur your name and you’re sure they’ve noticed the silent interaction between you and jake, yet you remain unbothered and keenly prideful, nonchalantly cracking your neck side to side to give them all a little show.

“[TEN]-HUT,” shouts the coach right as the buzzer sounds and that’s when you know, the game has begun.

you truly don’t know much about football, just that it revolves around a bunch of guys tackling each other—or something of the sort (?). nonetheless, you remind yourself that you’re here to take pictures of jake for his feature, and get some close-up shots of your school’s dance team, as well as cheer during the halftime performance.

your estimate is that you could get some high-quality shots of jake as he paces around his spot in the field, jutting around not as fast as he’d be when he’s running, and your mind lives up to its words.

you manage to snap some ethereal shots of jake with his sweat glistening and hair that’s adorned to his forehead and sticking out a bit despite the heavy helmet that covers his countenance.

halftime rolls around and you jump down from your seat in the bleachers to take some up-close shots of the dancers with their bedazzled uniforms and of the band playing, before returning to your seat, anticipating jake to make his touchdown sometime soon; you could see the scouts discussing amongst themselves a couple of meters below you, and an unsettling feeling made home in your stomach. you couldn’t imagine how jake might’ve been feeling.

right as halftime ends and you get a glimpse of jake and his teammates rolling into the field for the second half of the game after replenishing their bodies. the boys on defense are doing especially well and you feel elated for what’s to come.

it’s been a bit, however, and the game is nearing its end, you snap one last shot of jake right before he goes to snatch the ball out of the opposing teams’ player’s reach and makes a beeline for the marker checkpoint he needs to get to before he can score a touchdown—he looked absolutely breathtaking with his mouth agape and face slightly scrunched up in focus.

you lift off of your seat in preparation for jake’s victory, and he makes it—jake leads his team to triumph.

screams erupt from the crowd of students around you as they all jump onto their feet, moments after jake kicks the ball. your eyes locate downward towards the scouts and you see them talking abruptly with joy written all over their faces; a huge smile of your own breaks out on your face, and you’re relieved. what you don’t expect with all the commotion that surrounds you, is the rain that starts abruptly pouring.

sounds of groans fill the air as a good amount of students clatter amongst themselves to find immediate shelter from the rain, but you couldn’t care less, all you cared about was your boy.

you, too, jump out of your seat after the shock of what’s happening washes over your body a bit, but it only heightens as you watch jake throw off his helmet onto the grass and run to you with all the energy that his body has left to give.

he’s sweaty, he’s tired, he’s drenched with rainwater, and his mind is in a whirl of how he truly just made a touchdown, but all he can think about is you.

you don’t have time to process the way jake ignores the ridiculously loud remarks of congratulations the scouts throw at jake as he speeds past them, nor can you see straight when you realize that jake has run up the stairs of the bleachers and is now standing right in the tight space in front of you.

jake doesn’t care that the majority of students are watching him—and now you, nor does he focus on the fact that the both of you are soaked. his eyes flicker once to your lips then twice, yours alternate between his eyes and his lips, smiling when he wraps an arm around your waist and tilts your head up to look at him directly with the other.

you lightly pant and begin to match the rising of his chest, your mouth opens and you’re left speechless. “jake?”

you say his name as if it’s the last time you’d speak of it again, and he takes his chance, he takes it as confirmation for all that he’s ever witnessed between the both of you.

the moment jake’s lips meet yours, you swear your heart stops, all background noise becomes a blur as jake’s lips feverishly chase your own. his grip on your waist tightens and your chests collide as his hand travels further up your face, cupping your jaw. you’re left in awe as he quickly slides his tongue into your mouth when you gasp at the intensity of the kiss and the atmosphere, bodies hot with passion, the rain adding to the aura of fictionality as the droplets stick to your hair and drop down to the space where your lips connect.

your noses constantly brush over each other as jake slightly bites down on your bottom lip and holds your jaw in place so he can feel you like he’s been dying to do ever since he'd laid eyes on you. you stay there, kissing him back softly when he halts the sinking of his teeth from your lips and gives you a few soft pecks. you’re stunned and breathless, gasping after he parts from you.

as soon as he separates, you break out into one of the widest smiles known to your muscles. jake reciprocates your same smile and grabs a hold of your waist with both hands, yours balancing your body on his shoulders as you rest your forehead against jake’s. his smile never fades, and neither does yours.

“wow,” you drag out. “that was…insane, and definitely one way of showing me that you want me.”

the boy laughs breathily, “my touchdown or the kiss?” he sarcastically inquires.

“both,” you spit out, still smiling.

“well, i told you i’d live up to my word, didn’t i? i promised you.”

your vision threatens to be blocked by forming tears, ironically not by the copious amount of rain plunging from the sky, but before you’re able to do so, jake isolates your bodies and wraps an arm around you, sensing your emotions, and you sniffle. “yeah, you did. i never should have doubted you, sim.”

“i’m here now, that’s all that matters.” the quarterback pecks your cheek and gives you a soft look before he heads down to the field once again, physically dodging victory punches and flirtatious but supportive winks from his teammates as a testament to what they all witnessed and what you had just experienced.

the team does their victory chant one last time and you wait for the boy right beside the bleachers where there's a built roof as you watch him split from his team and go to discuss with the scouts and his parents that give you some sly smiles. thankfully, it’s only a couple of minutes before the boy comes running to you, you didn’t know how much longer you could have lasted without the warmth of his touch.

jake takes your hand and spins you around as if you were his princess, the only girl that lived to exist. because to him, that’s exactly what you were. he kisses you once again and doesn’t seem to want to stop until you remind him that you’re still in public and very much visible to any bystanders.

he groans in annoyance but indulges your figure by securing his arm around your shoulders as you walk into the school’s locker room to let jake shower and clean himself up.

he insists on you changing into the spare sweats and jersey he keeps in case of emergencies to keep you warm and dry while he freshens himself up.

the school is empty and quiet. after his shower, jake meets you waiting on the bench outside of the locker room, sitting down beside you, flooding you with compliments about how beautiful you looked in his jersey and as a whole, then kissing you ever so delicately. “you’re wearing my jersey and the entire school saw us kiss, you know that means you’re mine now, right?”

“jake sim, i’ve been yours ever since you offered me that piece of candy the first day of jung’s psychology class,” you laugh out, resting your head on his shoulder.

“you’re mine, forever now, though. i made a promise, and i don’t intend on ever breaking it.”

“neither do i,” you vocalize along with a kiss to his cheek.

you were his, as he was yours, and that’s all there was to it.

jake sim will forever be your hot, nerdy-jock boyfriend, along with you, his precious, most enticing, most amusing, and most perfect girlfriend.

this story may not have been like all the others, with the cheerleader ending up with the star quarterback of the football team. but that’s what mattered most, your story had character and realness; not every path to romance is smooth and easily obtained. but i suppose that’s what makes your narrative most interesting.

jake didn’t want a facade of a relationship, he didn't want any pages left blank or unturned, he wanted fair play, he wanted—you.

now that he finally had you, and you had him, it’s rather plausible to say that jake sim scored more than just one touchdown in his lifetime, is it not?

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