#wish i wasnt so fucking useless lol

[radioactiveryan]

still feeling like shit yippee

[nell-pointer]

couple of thoughts on the pilaf saga ep 1-13

i loved goku in this, ive never disliked him or anything but he has such a special sort of charm in his innocence, i feel like the later shows kinda lose this, which does makes sense considering hes a lot older

goku and bulmas friendship is absolutely adorable, i loved the moment when she got turned into a carrot and you could tell goku was livid, he even let himself get beat up to protect her, just thought that was super cute.

i expected yamcha to be a lot cooler?? than he was??? I thought the whole bit was that he was cool in original dragon ball and became useless during z but NO he was actually lame the whole time. despite this his cringe fail loserisms endeared him to me greatly, i actually ended up liking him a lot. (it also helped that he was the only male character on the cast other than goku that wasnt a pervert sooo)

speaking of perverts, could have done with less of that but i knew what i was getting into when i started watching this show so whatever

i found it kinda funny that one of the few real challenges that goku struggled with strength wise was a fucking wall LOL. i swear he spent more time trying to best that wall in pilafs lair than he did literally anything else

i liked the 'the real wish was the friends we made along the way' moment with yamcha and bulma, it was a nice little conclusion to that plot point

the last three episodes were the worst by far...... there were parts i liked but for the most part it was really slow, for some reason the big climatic fights just didn't really hit for me

overall super fun charming show, dragged at times but I didn't mind so much, I loved (almost) all of the characters, and even the ones i didnt like i can admit were pretty funny. i could do with less genitals in the next saga but i know that's unlikely to happen.

.

.

.

bonus

these furries were lowkey cute together but you didn't hear it from me

[foursdarkdays]

About me?

Honestly idk why i suddenly thought about writing all this here but ig maybe??? i could find the root causes of my mental health? idk

Sooo umm It all started when i was 11, back in 2011 when my Mom's father kicked us out basically. I dont really have a father, i mean i do but hes not really there. My mother married him out of family pressure and that didnt end well. He had severe anger issues and was always jealous that my mom earned more than him. male ego ew. He wanted mom to leave her job and be a houswife with a lot of restrictions but thankfully my mom stood up for herself and they were living seperately. They never lived together tbh. my father was from another city and my mom didnt move there due to obvious reasons. so anyway yeah back to the story. So when we were basically homeless, we rented a house . glad my house had a good gov job so we could afford it. It was during summer holidays right after my 6th grade when everything started affecting me mentally. I would stay home alone all day, no tv , no phone , no colony friends it was very lonely. Weird thoughts kept coming in my mind it was a devils house lmaoo. Plus the family fights and stuff were taking a huge toll on me. I didnt share this with my school friends back then prolly because i was embarrassed or because i didn't find the need to? I did'nt know how to behave with people. i started getting aggressive about a lot of things and my friends left me for that. Later i realised and apologized for my behavior and got them back.

anyway so back when i was in my grandfathers house, we were a joint family0. my grandmother, granfather, mother and her brother and sister and i. There were fights almost everyday but later when my aunt and mama got married the fights got more intense. i used to run up to the terrace to avoid all the shouting. I think thats one of the reaons why i get so worked up when i hear people yelling. trauma?.

anywayyyy so everything started effecting my studies and my acadmeics went to hell. i love my mom but back then she'd say all these mean things to me like "Why were you even born" "you're so useless" honestly i dont remember now but yeah that also affected me a lot mentally that i started self harming. It was out of curiosity at first but then i got addicted. The physical pain made the mental pain feel less. I self harmed almost everyday. it was like a drug to me. When my friends found out about it because i used to cut my hand like the whole hand, i started cutting my leg, It hurt a lot, sometimes i couldnt even walk. i just wish id bleed to death or something. Family and bad academics made everything worse. and as a cherry on top, something happened in school. Everyone thought i was a liar and it was like everywhere i went, people spoke bad about me that i dreaded going to school. Anyway this self harming continued till 2016 November ig? (i started in 2013) i self harmed in the hostel as well lol until.. until my ex best friend cum my roommate tried to end her life. It was scary. She left school but i kept thinking about it. Somehow that made me stop trying to kill myself for a while and completely stop self harming. I used to have a lot of anxiety attacks without knowing they were anxiety attacks.

anyway this even worsened during my bachelors. My depression and anxiety got very severe. Not just mentally but also physically. The chest pains, the body pains, the nausea and fatigue, the constant tiredness and fear. I completely failed academics which in return increased my anxiety. I felt so hopeless and useless beacuse i was good at nothing. It took me 5 years to graduate a 4-year bachelors degree with 34 backlogs and numerous failed suicide attempts. i wasnt even that brave to hang myself or jump off but but it was mostly over doing my anti-depressants. oh yeah i went tp therapy, that guy saw my self hard scars and told my mom. fuck. anyway mom was worried. also i'm glad she never told me anything about my academics she never made me feel like a failure im very glad. Shes always encouraging. I feel selfish that i tried to end myself when im the only one left for mom but i couldnt and cant help it. Im sorry mom you obviously deserve a better kid. A much better kid. So ummm yeah after graduating and leaving therapy because the meds werent working i started feeling a bit better? the anxiety and depression went down or maybe i just learned how to live with it. it was already 2022 which means 11 years of depression. i think anxiety came along in 2016? honestly idk but ik i started treating it as a part of me, i accepted it and it did help me. It doesnt effect my daily routine because ive learnt to live with it.

anyway so about my father, he kept visiting from time to time. at first it was every month, then it became once in 2 , 3 ,4 ,5 . Its not like he cared. He never helped us emotionally or financially, Even when my mom was hospitalised and had a surgery in 2013, he didnt come to see. He only visited when he wanted to. My mom went througha lot because society talks yk? she basically a single mom and its hard to live in this stupid country like that. People talk shit about you. Anyway it took me 16 years to realise that my "father" never really cared. I started despising him and even his presence (once in a year) gave me the icks. His family also always spoke bad about my mother including himself ig. I didnt know how to asnwer people when they asked about him. okay so anyway he came home last year (2022) and i had to kick him out because it was becoming suffocating for me and mom. mostly mom so i did it for her. I said some rude things to him so that he wont come again and trust me i feel shit but yeah he deserved. And he came home on my bday early this year (jan). I still remember the way my heart dropped seeing him.I hate birthdsys because of this. I had to kick him out again. Again people talk. No one sees his mistakes , how he never called or gave a fuck about us. they only see how we kicked him out. I hate him . and then later i got to know that he also tried to ummm hchoke my mom back in 2003? when we went to visit him. I was there. i have a vivid image in my head that i can never forget. Theres also some secret that my mom and grandfather are keeping from me. idk if ill ever know about it . He prolly has another family maybe? idk p maybe its something worse. anyway thanks to him i cant look at any other man without thinking of him now.

yeah so now back to me. I ruined my life. idk if it can repaired. I'm trying to do my masters. I have applied to some collges in australia and one of them rejected me. my cgpa is 6.2 and i have 34 backlogs with no work exp so its hard, All i want to do is die because i cannot take this anymore. I dont try to kill myself anymore but i wish i could.

All of my friends have jobs or are doing their masters. what am i doing? i know i ahouldnt compare myself but do you think its easy? Everyone out there is indepedant already and im nothing? Its very embarassing and hard. The time is ticking like a time bomb and im terrified.

i need to get away from this place. I need to heal and i just need anothee chance from life where i could repair myself and move forward. I will never be able to move on if im here. There's a lot of pain and trauma here. ISTG if it doesnt work out, i might really do something to myself, i will shut myslef comepletely and just wait till i die.

ill add more things if i remember, now i have cramps on my fingers bye

[babufactory]

[eddie-rifff]

sending another 🌻, go apeshit!

omg thank you

now i shall talk about the other thing i love with weird shitty fans: yes

TL;DR at the bottom

i have been saying for a while now that no one hates yes more than yes fans and i stand by that. i just think thats so fucking bizarre. to those of you who dont know, theres a thing with yes fans where they HATE the current yes lineup and are literally begging for them to stop touring. all they ever talk about on yes pages is how "sad" the current state of the band is and whatever. i agree with them on some points (like geoff is totally off his game) but i think its completely insane for them to scream and cry and piss their pants about them making new music. like yeah i dont think its that good either but theyre musicians and if they want to make music let them??? like what in the fuck are you doing demanding they stop putting out music? just dont listen to it dumbass

as for them touring.... i wish they would replace geoff lol. everyone else is generally fine but geoff was fucking up so hard in the one vid i saw him in. but then, if they replace him with another person who isnt already a part of their history, everyone is going to scream and cry and piss their pants even HARDER saying that it isnt yes anymore. like, people said it wasnt yes without jon, and then they said it REALLY wasnt yes without chris, that it's a cover band now (they say this a lot), so if another member leaves theyre just going to lose their minds- but it would make them a much stronger touring act. i think it would solve a lot of their problems idk.

idk dog. those fans will tell you theyre the REAL fans because they have this idealized version of yes in their heads, the version that has both jon and chris where no other lineup will do, and that their idealized version is the one true yes, but i just think thats so stupid. i dont want to sound like a hypocrite being all "roxy music isnt roxy music without these guys" and then turning around and saying "yes is still yes even without these guy" so ill try to explain myself... i think the difference between the two groups is that yes is a spirit, a sound, a way of being, whereas roxy music is more conventionally a band. i think these yes fans im referring to think of yes too much as a band and not enough as an essence that is deeper than the guys in the band. it sounds hippy dippy and it is. i think thats what yes is all about- that hippy dippy essence, and that it's not contingent upon the people in it, and that it has never been. roxy music, on the other hand, does not have that essence running through it, rather it IS contingent upon the men in the group. does that make any fucking sense

this is all to say though that i get all of their points, i just dont agree with them. what i dont understand for the life of me is why they still engage with yes stuff if all they have to say is negative things. negativity and hatred are so anti-yes and yet thats all they have to offer. its soooo easy to not comment things. you saying "this is not yes!!!" one more time does NOTHING. a real conversation thats thought out is welcomed and should be encouraged, but trifling comments like that are so useless and only breed negativity, not conversation. people should be critical about the things they love, but not in a snotty childish way. yes is my life and its the life of so many other people so i understand why they get fired up, but like i said its just childish. they deserve more than an angry facebook comment.

TL;DR some yes fans are dumb

[ainchase]

very very rough translation of Elesis/LuCiel Epic Quest with Rosso

rosso: everything related to the protection of El is the masters and the priestesses' responsibility. you stay out of it.

ciel:??? dude wtf we

1. restored the el

2. fought against henir zealots

3. saved your fucking ass

rosso: yeah I can see just how ugly everything got if people like you guys were helping out

lu: !@$!@$Y#$%@#$

elesis: okay well w.e we gon go ask denif then

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

rosso: I SAID STAY OUT OF IT

lu: in case you forgot we beat your ass in varnimyr

rosso: yeah it was like 13v1

elesis: Alright, let's say that even someone with a demon's blood can be come master. Why did you become one?

ciel: yeah did you become master cuz you had some ulterior motive with the el or something

rosso: are you fucking kidding me right now

elesis: yeah why do you insist on going to the demon realm all by yourself? you know, other masters had to stay behind and let us go to the demon realm cuz they had to protect the el. you dont look like you care about that

rosso: others can protect the el. I can handle the demon realm by myself.

elesis: why do you want to go alone so bad? what's your hidden agenda?

rosso: what about you guys? why do YOU want to go back to the demon realm so bad? You find me suspicious cuz Im half demon and I want to go back to the demon realm?? How's that any different from you guys

rosso: you guys have a half demon AND a full blown demon. You guys are more suspicious than me

lu: what did you say you lil shit

we went through all that shit for a reason

rosso: Im saying that we did the same for Elrios as well. We did a lot of shit to protect this world

rosso: doing shit to save the world aint a competitive sport

elesis: why are you so fucking uptight

lu: what do you mean? this fucker is just crazy

ciel: I see. if he really meant harm, then he wouldnt be this defensive against us from the start. it's better to back stab when he has our guard lowered

elesis: yeah see how hes like threatening us physically but answering every single one of our questions? its like hes doing doing his bare minimum to make us understand

elesis: you just really want to stop us from going to the demon realm, huh

rosso: gdi

rosso: what makes you think you guys have to go to the demon realm?

elesis: in order to stop the Order and fully restore the El, we need the Dark El.

ciel: You're not entirely wrong. It doesn't necessarily have to be us to find the Dark El.

ciel: but think about it logically. There's no other team that's more suitable for this mission than ESP. Isnt that true?

rosso: I...

elesis: you alone doesnt make a team. You have a ridiculously low success rate if you jump into the battlefield by yourself.

elesis: i mean sometimes you gotta make 5 teams each with 2 people but uhh

rosso: I dont give a shit

elesis: right back at ya, ESP is under the velder kingdom. we dont have to listen to you, a so-called higher up from a kingdom long gone

rosso: that place is an abyss. none of the shit like order and process work there

rosso: wasnt it enough to lose your brother to the el once?

elesis: :tears:

ciel: you talking like we're going to demon realm to die

rosso: look, if everything worked out the way you plan, then the El wouldn't have exploded in the first place

rosso: going to a world where there isnt El or the influence of the Goddess means you have to be prepared for death. You guys have way too many things to lose to do that.

rosso: you have a shit ton of precious things to protect and yet you want to drive yourselves into danger? you've gotta be kidding me

elesis: so what, are you saying youre going to sacrifice yourself in our place cuz you got nothing to lose or something?

rosso: Im just trying to do my damn job, stop making shit up

lu: wait so you been spewing shit to us just so you can--

rosso: --I SAID STOP MAKING SHIT UP

ciel: I mean if youre that worried about us, how about you come with us?

lu: lol if it was something like that, you could've just asked honestly from the beginning. I could've pulled some strings for ya

rosso: I swear Im going to kill you

elesis: well of course I dont want Elsword to involve himself in dangerous things, honestly

rosso: and yet you...

elesis: but this is the path we chose

elesis: a path that I chose

rosso: ...

rosso: I dont give a flying fuck on what path you chose

rosso: if you insist that much on going to the demon realm, then there will come a time when you have to make a decision

rosso: whether you have conviction, act recklessly or not, at the end of the day, if you got something that you have to choose over the other, it'll definitely hold you back

rosso: you didnt want to sacrifice your brother so you dragged him out of the El. Are you trying to die for him?

lu: what

ciel: what are you trying to say

rosso: how much more do I have to explain

ciel: why are you thinking complicated things when they didnt even happen yet

rosso: what

elesis: what

ciel: so youre saying, to go to the demon realm, we have to cut all ties, get rid of all worldly possessions, and jump in there all alone? you can think however you want, but I dont agree with that

ciel: it just looks like youre threatening us, like asking if we're ready to give up our lives for someone else in hopes of stopping us but

ciel: from the moment we decided to get elsword out of el, we already made up our mind

ciel: even if someone's life is on the line like you said, then I'll survive no matter what. Knowing Lu doesn't want me to die, I can't afford to lose my life.

lu: :tears:

rosso: the fk is wrong with you guys

lu: ciel's right

rosso: what

lu: we almost wasted our time worrying about useless shit. You got viscerally upset when I said we have to return to the demon realm to keep a promise

lu: if you think trying to survive is more important than trying to keep a promise, then how come you dont practice what you preach?

lu: dont you also value promises and conviction more?

rosso: Im different. I've been given a power.

elesis: youre so fucking stubborn i cant even

lu: me and ciel are bound by a contract. I might have considered what you said if I wanted to go back to the demon realm just to exact my vengeance.

lu: if something happens to me, I might not be able to save ciel

lu: but I still have to return because someone loyal to me is still there

lu: I mean its kinda meaningless to compare him with ciel, but as long as we've made our promise, winster is my people as well

lu: I forgot, for such a long time, what it's like to lead people, to take care of those who follow you

lu: why do I want to go to the demon realm?

lu: Im returning to reclaim my stolen throne. I will save my people, fulfill their wishes and at times punish them if I must.

lu: who's to stop a lord from returning to her domain to do what is asked of her?

rosso: :glare:

elesis: we already experienced a time when we had to make our choice, like ciel said

elesis: we made up my mind to go through even the most impossible things together

rosso: :rollingeyes: Im an idiot for trying to persuade a group of idiots like you

lu: do you finally feel like explaining things now

rosso: dont get your hopes up. Im only telling you cuz I know you idiots cant use this method

ciel: I think Im slowly getting used to his abrasive tone, after listening to it for so long. Okay, we won't think you've admitted defeat after you were persuaded by us, so just tell us

rosso: listen you little shit

rosso: Alright. Remember when I said I was suppressing the fire el's power with demonic aura?

rosso: the power of fire is much more difficult to control than other elements. there are enough of those who burned to ash because they couldnt withstand its destructive power

rosso: rosso clan was always trying to produce a master of fire, and decided they'll need a new form of power to suppress the power of fire el, for example...

rosso: something completely different from the el's power. Like a demonic energy.

elesis: they did what now

rosso: it's not much of a stretch to say that no one knew anything about demons back then. from their perspective, i was just a kid with a strange power.

rosso: of course I didnt have much as an actual demon, but my intrinsic demonic power was good enough for me to be a subject of their experiments The red eye was transplanted into me, and I was able to control the power of fire.

rosso: ...it wasn't without an accident, but in any case, the power of fire and the demonic aura are constantly at a balance inside of me. When one of them disappears, the other goes rampant

rosso: on the day we all decided to imbue the el shards with our respective element, I was the most problematic one

ciel: I see... from the process of trying to transfer the power of fire into the el shard, the balance between your demonic aura and the power of fire crumbled...

rosso: chaotic continent, missing masters... if they had a rampant half-demon on top of that, Elrios would not look the way it does today

elesis: that's why you went to the demonic realm? so you wouldn't go rampant in elrios???

rosso: /shrug

rosso: as the el exploded, temporal rifts were created all over elrios, sporadically. the phenomena was worse near powerful el shards

rosso: I was able to cross into the demon realm thanks to those rifts. After creating the fire el, I jumped into one of those rifts before I completely lost my sanity

rosso: thats the end of my story. now do you see why I said you cant use this method?

lu: you...

ciel: the priestesses couldnt help you? though theyre not blessed in the combative aspect like masters, I thought theyre the same when it comes to using the power related to the el

rosso: the priestess system was still pretty new at the time. They were busy trying to learn from masters too. Creating the elemental el as inexperienced priestesses is like betting your life on it

elesis: why did you go to that extent? even you couldnt have guaranteed your safety when you jumped into the rift. Are you saying even that was part of your mission?

rosso: hmph, there's no one who can tell me to do that shit

elesis: the tower you were locked away in... didnt have an entrance or an exit, blocked off completely, enough for the power of fire which was trying to return to you could only circle around the tower itself

lu: you locked yourself in so you wouldnt hurt others

rosso: I told you everything you wanted to know, so are you happy now?

elesis: rosso, I really dont want you to go to the demon realm

rosso: are you looking down on me after hearing that sob story?

elesis: no it's not that, I just think I know how much you think its natural for you to sacrifice yourself

elesis: I think I know why Im concerned about you. You are similar to my brother.

elesis: I dont know what happened in the past, but... I think he made that decision because he thought similar things as you once did

elesis: you've sacrificed yourself enough. You banished yourself to protect Elrios. I cant even imagine what it's like to hold out in a prison made to imprison yourself for hundreds of years, but

elesis: elrios stands today thanks to the efforts you guys went through. you can leave it to us now

ciel: we're not as weak as you think we are

lu: I can see why you didnt want to tell us. It wasnt particularly helpful, but thanks anyway

rosso: youre really annoying..

lu: the sentiment is mutual

rosso: now fuck off if you're done talking. I have to do more control training

ciel: youre more diligent than you look

rosso: do you wanna die

lu: it doesnt look like you're completely healed yet

lu: you're having trouble controlling your power without the eye, are you not

elesis: so thats what ventus meant when he said youre training to overcome what you've lost

rosso: that pointy eared fucker

ciel: wait; you were having difficulty controlling? but you fought so well...

rosso: like I said, you guys cant beat me in an even fight

lu: I really hate this guy

[azaraspirit]

title? i dont have one lol

this started as a self indulged smut fic so i wasnt planning to write this much but i had a hard time stopping lol i may write a part two with more smut.

warnings: none its all fluff and smut. maybe a tiny bit of angst if you look hard enough

words: 2293

tagging: @keepingupwiththeparkers @mcuspidey @starksparker @fanboy-tom @spideypeach

*

Tonight was the last night you and Tom had together for the next three months as he was going to film yet another movie. You proud as hell of him but at the same time you wish he wasn’t leaving. It was selfish of you it felt like but he was your boyfriend after all. You were gonna miss him.

“Let’s make the most of this evening yeah darling?” Tom’s voice was husky and deep.

You were smelling the flowers Tom bought for you-a rather large bouquet of your favorites, filling your room with the sweet scent of lilies.

You turned around to face Tom who approached you. He laced your fingers with his, lightly pressing your foreheads together. “Gonna miss you, love.”

“Me too.” You tried not to cry.

“It’s gonna be busy as hell. Probably won’t be able to see you y/n till I get back...”

“It’s okay, Tommy.”

“Let me make this night rememberable yeah?”

Tom kissed you softly, making you moan. You wrapped your arms around him as his tongue played with yours. God you were gonna miss him.

You jumped onto his waist and he had no problem holding you. He carried you back to the bedroom, closing the door behind him with his foot. He never stopped kissing you the whole time, your lips already sore but you didn’t care.

Tom went from your lips to your jawline then to your neck, making sure to leave marks that will last.

“Tommy please…” you begged.

Tom smirked. “Tonight is all about you, love.” he said meeting your eyes again. “I’ll give you anything you want. All you have to his ask.”

Your fingers curled around his shirt and he understood. Tom slipped it off and you whimpered seeing his beautiful collar bone that were infatuated with for some reason.

“I want you. Nice and slow.”

Tom smirked. “My favorite.”

He kissed you again as he undressed you. By the time you both were nude you were soaked.

“Ready darling?”

You nodded. Tom lined himself up and gently pressed himself inside of you after slipping on a condom. He leaned over you, kissing your neck and lips as he began to thrust nice and slow just as you requested. Your drenched walls clenched around his manhood. He already found your clit and held his tip there in place.

“Gonna miss you love.” he murmured between peppered kisses on your neck.

“You’re so beautiful.”

You were seeing stars as you experienced your first but not the last orgasm of the night.

It didn’t take long for you to resemble a leopard with purple bruises left by Tom’s mouth.

He tended to your breasts, sucking and biting on your petals making your toes curl. Something told you neither of you were getting much sleep tonight.

Tom continued to praise you, saying how much he was gonna miss you and how he would think about you.

Tom paused as he hovered over you, panting. You were both sweaty and out of breath.

“I love you so much, darling.” Tom brushes his thumb over your cheek.

You blinked tears from your eyes as you smiled up at him. “I love you too, Tommy.”

He kissed you for knows how many times that night. “Maybe you can visit me yeah?”

You sniffed, nodding. You kissed his bicep. “I want to ride you.”

He smirked. “You sure?”

You nodded again. You switched positions as you were now sitting on Tom’s waist. He gripped yours as you began to move up and down on his dick. You moaned as your eyes were closed. This was absolutely one your favorite positions. You loved seeing him unravel underneath you. You leaned over as you thrust some more, Tom squeezing your breasts. You moaned out his name.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, y/n.”

You moaned in response, seeing stars. You paused, taking a breath but his dick still inside of you.

Tom admired you from below as he smiled. “Done yet?” he smirked.

“I don’t think so” you smirked back.

*

Taking a break, Tom leaned over and grabbed his phone.

“What are you doing?” you asked as you were still nude, the sheet poorly covering your body. “Taking a photo. Not gonna wanna forget this beautiful sight.”

“Thomas.” you scolded, covering yourself up. “You serious? What if someone finds your phone and sees them! Or what if you accidentally send them to someone?!”

Tom chuckled. “I won’t darling, trust me. Please?” He pouted his lip and gave you those puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t resist and he knew it.

You sighed. “Only if I get some of you.”

“Deal.”

You were out of your comfort zone as you posed nearly nude for Tom. He smiled and praised you as he clicked away. Your confidence build up just enough to fully remove the sheet. “Beautiful.” he said, taking a pic.

You giggled. “Okay this is kinda fun. But I swear to god Tom if Harrison or anyone sees these…”

“Darling relax. I’ll hide them in my phone. I promise.”

You sighed. “You better.” You held up your phone. “Now it’s my turn.”

Tom smirked. You lost count on how many racy photos you took of Tom. “Why do you have so many of my collar bone?”

he asked.

“Because it’s gorgeous.” you giggled.

“Hm okay?” He kissed your forehead, still not understanding. “It’s getting rather late, y/n. We should sleep a few hours at least.”

“I guess…” You put your phone away and turned to face him. “I’m really going to miss you, Tom especially after tonight.”

He smiled. “I know darling. But we can do it.” He pulled you close to his bare chest, covering you both with the sheet. “Shhh. Sleep now.”

*

You couldn’t stop crying as you got ready to head to the airport. Tom tried his best to calm you down but it was useless. It was three months. You wouldn’t see him for three months. He says you would visit but that was highly unlikely so you don’t get your hopes up. You loved that he was acting but sometimes but a damper on your relationship. Now your glad you took those pics of Tom last night because you were definitely going to use them later.

You and Tom held hands as you approached the private plane which you were grateful for. You couldn’t handle the paparazzi right now. You gave Jacob a big hug who was going with Tom. They shared their weird handshake. Jacob went inside as you and Tom were still just outside the stairwell. You kept it to yourself  that you jealous of Jacon going and not you. But you weren’t an actor. Just Tom’s girlfriend.

“Please don’t cry, love. I’ll be back before you know it.”

You sniffed. “If you stay any longer, your director will feel my wrath.”

Tom laughed. “I promise. Not a day passed the schedule.”

He caressed your face. You gazed in his gorgeous eyes, remembering that beautiful golden honey color that you fell in love with the moment you first met him.

“I love you so much, baby.” He spoke with such a gentle tone, almost like a lullaby.

“I love you too, Tommy.” you sniffed. You played with his curls. They would most likely be gone by the time he returned. You smiled. You loved them so much. You felt his soft skin and his collarbone that peeked out from his V-neck shirt. You wrapped your arms around him, smelling his cologne. He hugged you back, his hand on your head. You felt his lips press against your forehead. You two stood there just like that for what felt like hours.

You reluctantly pulled away. Tom looked up at the plane and you understood that it was time for him to leave. “Don’t fall in love with any costars while you’re gone.” you joked, knowing he wouldn’t.

“I’d only leave you for Jake Gyllanhal.” he teased that made you laugh.

“Well he is rather dreamy.”

Tom held your face in his hands again, foreheads pressed. “Gonna miss you so fucking much.” he murmured.

“Me too.”

He gently kissed you on the lips, fresh tears falling from your eyes as well as Tom. You pulled him closer to you. Heat spread all over your body as the kiss deepened. It lasted a lifetime before he pulled away.

“I have to go.” he said solemnly.

“Be safe. Get lots of sleep.”

“I will. I promise.”

He pecked you on the lips one more time before he headed for the plane. You felt cold when his hand departed your own. He looked at you one last time, the tears still streaming down his face as the stairs lifted and Tom disappeared. You waited there seeing the plane take off. You knew dating Tom wasn’t going to be easy but you went after him anyways. But you had no idea you would have loved this much. This hurt far more than you could have ever imagined. You missed him already and he just left. These next few months were going to be the hardest of your life.

It was a few days before Tom managed to call you. He sent you texts saying he landed safely.

“Hey, baby.” he greeted on the other end. You could imagine his smile. God you missed his voice. You were wet already. “Hey, Tommy.”

“You doing okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. I stole one of your hoodies.” You were currently cuddled on the couch wearing said hoodie, smelling it.

Tom scoffed. “I knew you would so I left you your favorite one.”

“Thank you, baby. How’s filming?”

“Awesome. I’m trying to get as much done as we can.”

“Tell me you’re getting your eight hours?” you chimed.

“Hmm more like six.”

“Tommy.” you sighed.

“I know, baby, I know. But we have a lot of late nights.”

“You promised.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell my director alright?”

“You better.”

“How’s Tess?”

“She misses you. She lays on your side of the bed.”

“You both like the way I smell.” Tom teased.

You giggled. “It’s the cologne.”

“I’m sorry but I have to go. They’re done with my make up.”

“I hope they go easily on the eyeshadow.” you teased.

“Very funny, y/n. That’s not the kind of makeup and you know it.”

“I really miss you Tommy” you told him.

“I miss you too. Like a lot. I gotta go okay? I love you, y/n.”

“I love you more.”

“I don’t think so.”

You and Tom finally managed to hang up. As figured he wasn’t getting his sleep. You loved that boy but he had a hard time with self care, mostly with getting enough sleep. He always put everyone he loved and his job first so he seemed to have little love left for himself. But that’s where you came in. You made sure he got his sleep and drank water and not overschedule himself. Honestly you wondered how the boy was even still alive before he met you. You started out as his assistance but things quickly heated up between the two of you. You knew him for less than a year before you two started dating. It’s already been six months since then and this was the first time he’s been away for more than a couple weeks.

A few weeks later Jacob texted you and he said there was a chance for you to visit while the directors were reviewing and editing what they filmed for trailers. Would take a week. You hopped on the chance, not telling Tom.

You took the first flight you could, packing a bag and Tess. You nagged Jacob to death making sure Tom had no idea. He was certain.

You met up with Jacob who picked you up from the airport. “Hey, bud!” you greeted, hugging him.

“Tom is gonna freak.” he grinned. “He’s asleep right now.”

“Perfect!” you chimed.

You and Jacob caught up on the ride over here. Apparently Tom talked about you a lot. You blushed, feeling more loved than ever.

You and Jacob entered the house they were renting at the time for filming. It was rather nice and had a view of the ocean. You barely noticed because you were too busy running up the stairs to see Tom. Tess was right behind you.

You paused for a moment when you reached the door. “Ready girl?” you asked her. She did a low bark.

You quietly opened the door and sure enough Tom was passed out on the bed. You felt bad for waking him up considering you wanted him to get his sleep. But this was a special occasion.

“Go get him.” you told her.

Tessa barked and ran towards the bed, jumping on it. She stood right over Tom, licking him. You giggled.

“Tess? What the fuck? How-” He froze when he sat up, seeing you. Tess licked him repeatedly.

“Hey, Tommy.” you giggled.

“How-”

“Jacob helped. He said you had some time off. Thought I’d come say hi.”

Tom flew off the bed and embraced you, twirling you off the floor. You were both laughing, Tess barking happily. Tom gazed at you, his eyes sparkling with joy. He stroked your cheeks. “Y/n…”

You pulled on his shirt, bringing him into a kiss. Can’t believe it’s been two months since you two kissed.

Tess jumped in between you, making you pull apart. You bent down to pet her, Tom doing the same. “Someone is jealous.” you smiled.

“Sorry girl.” Tom said, scratching her favorite spot behind her ear.

“How about we take a walk on the beach?” you suggested, looking back at Tom.

He smiled. “I’d love that more than anything.”

[writingforjoy]

Decotta’s Diary

Once again, huuuge thanks to @aurikhai, @rose-of-sharon-cass, and anon for asking for this particular drabble and i apologize again for taking so long with it! the first three entries are for the asks, and then i did the last one as a normal diary entry. All typos, punctuation, and grammar mistakes are left the way they are because I wrote it as if she was typing it on her phone. @rhikasa i hope you'll enjoy this one too

Dear diary, July 22, 2016 10:58pm

We’re leaving for a ‘mission’ tomorrow. Just gathering more intel or something on this ring of productivity. Think its supposed to create whatever you want, but idk, wasn’t really listening when pH0 and zane were talking about it. I would just ask him but I don’t wanna make myself look stupid! I mean, its literally not my job as ‘king’ to know, just to make sure that we don’t use all our expenses. Anyways, tomorrow we’ll leave Moonshine Lake. I’ve never been to Arkansas before, I wonder if it’s any different from Louisiana? We’ll see...but I’m not driving lol.

Dear diary, July 23, 2016 3:47pm

The only thing worse than all these trees is Emment presence. Honestly I don’t get WHY Haiden thought it was a good idea to send Emment along. I dont care if he can heal, I can protect Zane on my own! Now we can’t share the room OR have the romantic date like I planned! It was supposed to be just me and Zane enjoying the rest of the day ALONE together just relaxing but nnoooo. With Emment here, senpai wants to ‘get this done as quickly as possible’. I’ll have to read Sixteen to see how to fix this.

Dear diary, July 23, 2016 11:15pm

If Emment’s tagging along didn’t have me pissed, I definitely am now. APPARENTLY, Zane’s been working on this BY HIMSELF FOR MONTHS, and the person that has the stupid ring now is soME GIRL HE’S BEEN “DATING” FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!! I wouldnt have known about it if Emment hadnt let it slip what Zane was actually doing tonight when he left! To make it all worse, it wont be til maybe midnight when he decides to come back! Why did you have to lie to me senpai?! I couldve been of use! It would’ve been different this time!!!

Dear diary, July 24 2016 3:42am

Just as i got ready to go out and find him, senpai comes stumbling in, reeking of what i can only guess is weed and alcohol. Thankfully, he had everything to make a purification potion. Buuut, he wasn’t...all the way there to do it himself. Emments useless ass was already sleep when he made it in earlier, so that left me to make the potion for him. i couldnt stand seeing him so out of it, so of course i made it! now he’s just puking on and off again from potions effects. ...i hope he sleeps well tonight.

Dear diary, July 26, 2016 6:42am

Ok i know im supposed to have a journal entry everyday but the night zane came in he ended up resting the rest of the day and i stayed by his side watching him and then yesterday was sooo busy! YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST. DAY. EVER!!!! Oh my god wher do i even begin??!!? Ssooo, as my reward for being the best girl in the world the other night to senpai, i had BREAKFAST IN BED!!! He ordered room service for me and brought me ROSES!! He tried apologizing for everythign but i told him not to worry about, this small gesture was enough to let me know that he still cared for me~ AND THEN. HE ASKED ME. TO HELP HIM GET THE RING!! i was BEYOND excited to help him!! But i kept my cool, and told him sure, whatever. So he went on about who the girl, maggie, was (just some uppity college bitch rebelling against her rich folks) and was telling me that when we went out that night i’d have to use a glamour (he already had his ready and dear god he only gets hotter the older he gets), and who i was going to be waltzing around as (another one of her friends who sounded equally boring as her). Anyways, her parents been gone on vacation or whatever and that night she was hosting a big party at her house that he was invited to. Haiden was going to get the girl that i was going to be and keep her busy or whatever, but she was already taken care of by the time me and zane got to the party. Oh god that party was intense, so ima make try to make this entry short cause tired as fuck.

When we got there, the party was already goin, music blasting, couples all on the couches drunk kissing, people in the corners drinking, beer pong in the kitchen, the works. To maggie, i was there to help her trap zane and oh my GOD it took ALL of my willpower to not light her ass up on the spot (though it was pretty damn hilarious when i caused a short outage and she and a couple of other girls screamed), luckily senpai was close by and was able to calm me down before i got myself caught like last time, then off they went to have a ‘private conversation’, and maggie told to let everyone know that she’ll be ‘right back’ if anyone needed her, but we both know how that went lol.

So as soon as they made it to the room i stood at the door making sure no one would be interrupting senpai...and do a little eavesdropping AND OH MY GOD THIS STUPID HUMAN! She called him a crook and a liar, and all he wanted from her was her money all while she was fake crying, and then she had the nerve, the AUDACITY, to call him a witch. Of all things! A WITCH!! Then! Ooh then she called him a low-life and a snake-FIRST OF ALL MA’AM MY BABY’S JUST DOIN HIS DAMN JOB SO FUCK YOU AND YOUR UPPITY ATTITUDE-i wanted to bust in and shout that so badly, and senpai must’ve known it too cause i heard him yell ‘calm down’ in french, and again softly in english for her (i guess). At this point my curiosity was getting the best of me and i just had to see what they were doing, so i enchanted the door so i could see in, and oh my poor baby. He looked genuinely concerned, hurt even, at her accusations. Then he cupped her chin in his hand and asked her where she heard such things, and when she told him he gave her this sad look and told her some pitiful story that i only wish i remembered to prove his innocence AND SHE FAILED FOR IT! She started wiping her eyes, stammering apologies, talkin how she ‘loved’ him but didnt wanna get hurt again, and when he did his little ‘confession of love’ for her, shE KISSED HIM! I promise to god i this close to barging in, but i saw senpai hand waving ‘stop’ while she started mumbling god knows what. then he slowly leaned (a little bit too) close to her ear and whispered something that made her redder than a ripe tomato, and this horny bitch got up faster than the sun rises and started stripping out of her clothes, what makes it sad was that she tried to do it sexily, but she wasnt as graceful as she thought she was about it at all. So drunk and pathetic, humans are so weak minded that its actually entertaining lol. Once she got her bra off and straddled him, he finally put the sleeping spell on her and laid her on the bed as he slipped the ring off her finger! We made the deliver just before we got home this morning and i am more than thrilled to be in my own bed right now and that everythings finally done.

Zane Masters, my senpai, is simply the best demon in the world! He’s sweet, charming and clever, and can easily manipulate people when he wants to, and thats what i love about him. Thats why hes the Second King, our K2, my sweet, sweet, love. One day he’ll agree to go out with me, then he’ll see that im just as much of a girl as any other one, and then he’ll fall in love with me, and we’ll finally live happily ever after!

[astormyknight]

How I came out, Multiple Experiences.

The first person I came out to is dead. 

They have been for a long time. We lost her in Year 12 of High School or maybe it was when we were year 11. I just remember I was around 16. It was pretty traumatic for a lot of us. I can’t remember exactly when it happened, like what time of year except it was sometime during either the end of the year or middle of the year (even that is hazy), it was ten years ago or so now.

We weren’t super close, like we didn't hang out on weekends or after school or anything (my parents being super strict religious types who didn’t let me go into town unless it was to the library right up until I was in my last year/sort of learning how to drive).  

But right around when I was becoming aware of my sexuality, or rather why I wasn’t ‘normal’ (second year of senior high, like...2008-9 or something), we’d been writing letters to each other and talking heaps at lunch and in whatever class we shared (I think it was social studies or classics). She felt bad for me because I was such a fucking nerd, and super socially awkward and a little bit chubby/super KY(空気読めない ) - I had friends, but at the time I was becoming more and more uncomfortable hanging out because they were super religious, made me feel like shit sometimes (except the other Hannah who was and still is cool) because my family were new to the church and I was (still am) a little...weird??? I was slowly becoming closer with the kids I took the bus part of the way home with/was in rowing with and their friends, but she kind of noticed how sheltered I was and was kind about showing me it was ok to open up, ask questions and try new things I guess. 

 ANYWAY my Mum had a bad opinion of her, but she was one of the most amazing people who went out of her way to make me see myself as a person and not a monster/demon from hell destined to return, and I couldn’t help her do the same, our situations were so different, I dunno, life is a bitch and it weighs down the best people. She made some bad choices as teenagers do, but her family wasn't really there for her either.  ((My Mum scoffed at her and in earshot one day when she came to pick me up about a month or two before the incident  and said to me that she wasn’t the sort of friend I wanted, and that she was destined to go nowhere (and in my first real act of defiance I stood up for her, called her hypocritical, and continued to write letters.))    

I dunno why but this time of year I always have really shitty dreams about that time, about the last time I kind of awkwardly brushed off her hug goodbye (like I always did, I hated and still do hate, physical affection) and how I wish I’d reciprocated even just a little. Not being able to go to her memorial because my Mum still didn’t like her/her own parents were dicks/I wasn’t in her super close circle of friends. I know I couldn’t have done more than I did, even with some of the content in the letters, I didn’t know what she was going through exactly, I didn’t really GET how bad things were for her. I thought she was going to be able to tough shit out and make her break eventually, but yeah. Life is rough, teenagers go through shit, and yeah. I’ve been dreaming lately, and it sucks ass. I always have this guilt about my grief because I wasn’t in her inner circle, but to me she was the only person really I trusted at that time with one of my “darkest” secrets.  

The second person I came out to was one of the kids I rode the bus home with who is a total no bullshit person. To this day, I am slightly scared of her, but in the best way. She told it like it was. Super awesome and still is, I’m gutted I missed the opportunity to catch up over winter last year when I was in England. I’d borrowed a French CD from her as I was trying to break my weeb phase and try music from other places, and she was worried about the racy cover, the torso of a naked woman (Indochine’s Paradize). MY DUMB ASS TEXTED BACK AND WAS LIKE...DUDE, I’M A LESBIAN...or some stupid shit like that (what a way to come out, over some pervy CD cover....gods I was/am dumb). I don’t think she really knew how to handle it, like it was SUPER out of left field, and like yeah. I don’t really remember what happened after that, she never treated me any different, she asked a lot of really sensible questions, and was patient with me. I think this was in our final year of high school, but it could have been towards the end of year our second year. 

I told her best friend at the time shortly after that, and she was kinda weird about it, lol, but like in her own way...Like in a lot of ways I think she’d guessed (I think a lot of my peers had guessed before me, in typical useless lesbian fashion) because I would always say stuff like “If my friend was gay, that’d be ok, so long as they didn’t try anything on me...” “Love the sinner, hate the sin....” ect. ect. This was right around the time when Gay Marriage was in the news for one reason or another, roughly around three years or so before it became legal in New Zealand. So that was a ride. I still don’t know how the whole thing didn't get blown up by her and she didn’t tell the rest of our peers (if she did, they kept it quite and were really respectful, waited for me to tell them). I was terrified of my family or the teachers finding out too...for a little bit anyway, and then towards the end of Year 13 I think I came out to everyone (except my family) and just was like fuck it, if people have a problem with it, I’ll just punch them/shout at them and then go cry in the toilets or something - but I didn’t need to because for whatever reason most of my year group were really cool about it! 

There were a few people in between then though.

For some reason I was in a car with a fellow self proclaimed nerd some time late at night driving somewhere in town (to or from a movie, or potentially ball lessons or something?Maybe even something to do with a one year memorial to above mentioned friend, I REALLY can’t remember.)  This person was also one of the people I felt the least judged around, like I’d say a lot of dumb shit or nerd out about something and they’d either laugh, give me a look that was like... you weirdo....but never treated me any different. I think at this point I was like... .I don’t remember how it came up, but I was like...please don’t crash, but I think I like girls. And I think I also said how I’d told above two friends, but wasnt out to family because that would not be a fun time ect. I don’t remember much after the fact, but for me this was significant because baby gay me was sweet on her (don’t freak out if you’re reading this dude please, like I at this point I was still struggling with the whole admiration vs romantic interest thing. I thought you were super straight, didn’t want to take/ruin any friendship we had for granted, wasn’t like really interested in dating anyone even though in highs school that wasnt and option anyway ect...I thought/think you are cute, have a good sense of humor, great taste in books and are very kind and intelligent, qualities that I really respect and value in all my friends). She’s a cool kid, probably the one who had the closest interests to me out of that whole group in terms of reading taste and interest in Japanese stuff. I AM SO SORRY. SO. SO SORRY I TOLD YOU WHILE YOU WERE DRIVING. My sense of self preservation at that/this time is obviously no-existent.  Also cheers for not telling my Mum...she thought you were neat and I think she talked to you a bit about unrelated stuff (probably for you Halloween party??? occasionally at cycling, you were legit the only friend I’ve had that like, she approved of) at some point. 

One of the more popular/well respected/super out of my social status girls and I were taking extra scholarship exams for biology and classics. She was super popular, super snobby, REALLY EMOTIONAL, weirdly open about the grossest stuff and also really beautiful. I was SUPER intimidated by her, and she like flat out asked me why I wasn’t interested in any of the guys I hung out with outside of school/never talked about any crushes on celebrities... again...Dude, I like girls I think... (I ALSO HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON MY MARRIED CLASSICAL HISTORY TEACHER. FUCK. MY. LIFE. Never told anybody at school though.) She was SHOOK. To her credit, she recovered quickly asked a bunch of questions and promised not to tell my parents. I think she told some of her other popular friends, who to their credit, didn’t treat me any different and didn’t out me to teachers or my parents. As mentioned,  my peer group was surprisingly blase about stuff like that (probably owing to one of their own coming out of the closet at some point either at the same time/a while before me). I wasn’t exactly bullied for that, but I was picked on for other things (like my nerdiness, my weight, my quirky habbits, my loathing of all things feminine that I had to wear including my uniform, my lack of fashion sense, my scatterbrained-ness). 

Another one of the more fiery kids was super cool about it too. She was always a bit much for me, and also the last person I expected to be one of the first people to get married/partnered up and have a house/kid on the way. She was probably the one who grilled me the most on everything. Because until this point I was one of the SUPER religious kids, with SUPER traditional parents.

Once I hit Uni, I went full baby gay. Came out to my room-mates right away. No problems there. Came out to friends I made right away. Came out to pretty much everyone I met and was bloody obnoxious about it. How I didn’t accidently out myself to family until like...third year Uni I HAVE NO IDEA. 

At this point I was “seeing” someone from online, who halfway through third semester of my first year was cheating with a dude from Auzzie. I got so upset I actually went propper drinking after one of our college functions and broke down. I came out to my parents then, at the end of year, right before final exams, I wrote a drunk email - got my very patient older flatmate to check it (she was an insomniac, and still awake at 3am watching shitty tv and studying). She made me wait until at least 7am and a cat nap/a shit ton of water and sobering up and a final read through before I clicked send. 

My Mum must have read it at like, 8am, because I got an email right around 10am and it went down like a ton of bricks. Bible verses and pleas to get help and they drove up and saw me to lecture me the next week, we had a fight of sorts, in public, but not like a super big one, just one where Dad didn’t talk for me the whole summer after that (I went home against my better judgment to work and not pay rent...I relied on them for money during Uni, and have mixed feelings about that, I am grateful they still gave me the opportunities they did, but somewhat bitter because they don’t LISTEN to anything I say that challenges what they believe when I had/have to consider and listen to what they believe) and then not until like...the middle of the next year? Yeah, it was a wild ride. 

We still are very tense with each other and fight about a lot of stuff, they get progressively more racist/homophobic every year but then they have lulls where we don`t talk about stuff of that vein and it’s almost like we’re a family again? My brother is mostly cool, he’s not super on board with gender diversity, but he’s been doing some reading recently and at least uses my preferred pronouns and name most of the time...

Only some of the extended family know, basically one family of cousins on my Dads side (plus their parents), and only one of the girls on my Mums plus her parents who are awesome (they offered to have me come stay with them and help out if my family booted me). I haven’t said anything to the grandparents. I actually outed myself accidentally to my cousin on my Dads side in third year, at a friends place (I thought I outed her, accidentally, then remembered....shit, she’s out to everyone, I’m only out to friends...) - she was in a dorm together and asked how I knew my friend. “Oh, we both go to the same LGBTQAI+ support group...” I say. “Fuck....” I say. “Dammit, I owe Sarah (older cousin) $50″ she texts me after she breezes out the door to some party. 

The one almost family member I nearly told died before I could come clean. Shortly after I came out to my parents, a family friend of ours, who my parents knew through cycling, got really aggressive cancer. She was gone by mid-way through my second year in July. I’ve been dreaming about her too recently, I always dream about the two of them this time of year. I think Nic knew, she would always talk about stuff with me that made me feel super supported and loved. I miss her, and regret this the most.

- So yeah. TLDR; I HAVE BEEN HAVING SAD DREAMS. I am avoiding sleeping even though I need to be up early to prove to my bank that I AM NOT DOING MONEY FRAUD BECAUSE I AM A FOREIGNER I DAMN WELL LIVE AND WORK HERE AND HAVE A STUDENT LOAN!

[fairy-made]

did a normal run of outbreak since easy wasnt bad at all as alyssa, but i picked cindy this time. it was all going fine till I started caring about bob. kevin died on the roof. mark died on the streets. all bc I went back to get bobs ass. so I just reloaded and left bob. and then the whole time after that kevin was helping me out and staying close, so I was happy I saved cindys obvious boyfriend lol. I mean when he died the first time he was trying to follow me and I didnt know. he died literally right on the other side of the door. and it was as I was going through it so I heard his last cry for help....and then walked into his corpse. :’’’’(  loyal till the end. I will never let kevin die again lmfao.

but its interesting how other characters just do not give a fuck about you depending on who youre playing as. when I used to watch my brother play reo I just thought it was bad ai. didnt know some mfs just didnt like each other. 

side note, I wish thered been a black girl in this cast. in all these guides I see jim referred to as comic relief, a coward, useless... or I see those few comments praising his coin flip ability so I mean she probably wouldnt have fared well in terms of writing or fan reception, ESPECIALLY with sheva being newer and still getting shit talked but..... its just a thought I guess lol. then I could ship her with kevin because hes got bde and... I love him. 

[strepitosofight]

game wrap-up: trails sc

i finally finished the game woo!!! started this beast in DECEMBER 2020 and now shes finally laid to rest. just wanted to put into words my thoughts on the game as a whole in some kind of written form. yeah? yeah.

this basically has no rhyme or reason im just listing things as they occur to me

i really didnt know if this game was gonna edge out over fc for me until i finished it? ill give it to sc at the moment though. i think generally fc was a more well rounded game all around but at the cost that it has very few like. emotional highs beyond the You Know at the end. i’ll say that while sc hits lower lows than fc did for me it hit higher highs and did manage to get my attention back near the end enough for it to make it out on top. it gets points at least for not having as fucking mind numbing a final boss as fc goodness fucking gracious

if i had to rank the game so that my debating its placement against fc makes sense, i’d put it: prologue to chapter 6 >>> latter half of chapter 9 > chapter 7 to first half of chapter 9. i’ll be perfectly honest and say that i took more than half a year hiatus after chapter 6 because of Gameplay Bullshit that i’ll address at the end, so MAYBE you could say that factors into it, but like.... i had the same problems with everything after chapter 6 before i took the break. so.

gameplay was a much smoother experience than fc but i feel like it was. not as interesting to me in the lategame. this mightve been bc of me playing fc having no idea what i was doing, versus me in sc using a quartz guide, but once you hit chapter 6 in this game most if not all your casters will have death scream and that shit just breaks the game in half. most of the spells if they’re not named la tearal, clock up ex, shadow spear, or death scream as either just inferior versions of the above you use for the odd elemental weakness enemy or literally useless. who has ever used sylpharion in their lives. added with the fact every boss is immune to the actual useful status spells and typically a physical damage sponge you’re just spamming death scream until it dies. i just kinda wish there was a reason to actually use non-time arts. the first part of the game didnt really have this problem as bad but good god was loewe a cakewalk compared to fc lol. thats how uninteresting the combat gets lategame for me idk

the virgin “the merciless savior” vs the chad “fight with assailant”

looking back to hearing people online say the first part of sc was a drag because it was all episodic and that it “got better” afterwards was just. so far from my own experience with this game. okay heres the part of the retrospective where i complain about the narrative. for me this game is at its best when it realizes its emotional core was about consuming loneliness and grief. thats what estelle’s journey to find joshua is about, at its core! thats the thematic throughline running through this game! you watch estelle go through SUCH SHIT trying to cope with losing joshua, trying to find him, trying to survive without him! AND THEN THEY JUST REUNITE AT THE END OF CHAPTER SIX? HE DEUS EX MACHINA’S HER? AND THEY HUG AND KISS AND ITS ALL FINE? YES she gives him a lecture at the end but GOOD GOD IT WASNT ENOUGH. joshuas my favorite character of the bunch but after watching estelle go through the entire cycle of grief with this man... the prologue, the fake letter from renne, fighting the dolls, her talk with her mom??? i felt like it was setting up estelle to go through so much pain to finally have a catharsis where she confronts joshua and lets him know how stupid his decision was. but it just doesnt happen. its not.... no, you know what it was. it was catharsis intended for JOSHUA, not estelle. she just gets to have her boyf back no issue while joshua gets to deal with all the loose plot threads we never actually see start, only from flashbacks. like i really felt even the ch 5 stuff was foreshadowing this? how agate needed that shit from tita about not considering other people when he puts his neck on the line like that? when he talks bad about himself? WONDER WHO THIS COULD BE APPLIED TO????? joshua i love u dearly but ur killing me here. it really feels like the entire emotional core of the game just ups and disappears once they reunite

that said the character interactions in this game were a tier. obviously not as cute as the pure estelle/joshua fluff we got from fc but estelle going around rolent, the aforementioned agate and tita stuff, joshua’s solo sections, etc were really charming. i especially kept tearing up during the ch 8 stuff with joshua because it was so cute. 

final chapter was... fine..... the first half was so fucking long like geezums but it got better once you got in the axis pillar. i think im simply not a fan of huge worldending crises where the protagonist doesnt have an emotional stake in bringing down the villain beyond “you cant destroy the world, i LIVE here” but thats just me. 

KEVIN. HAD NO RIGHT BEING AS GOOD AS HE WAS. i need to watch the ending again when hes in ur  party bc i didnt have the sepith to upgrade his stuff and didnt feel like grinding out poms so close to the end. what a great character. its so hard to stop myself from starting the 3rd immediately, because legends is coming out this friday, but good god this mans gonna destroy me emotionally isnt he. help

my only real gameplay grievance beyond the above braindead lategame stuff was no exp share. why would they force u to use certain people but then not give them like halved exp when theyre not in the party. i had to grind up zin and schera like 20 levels. i literally put the game down because of this it was so fucking irritating. i hope this gets fixed in future games?

overall though i really enjoyed sc despite its faults and im super excited to play more falcom bc their stuff really clicks with me :) uhhh CHARACTER RANKING TO CAP OFF. joshua > kevin = estelle > agate > kloe > olivier > tita > schera = zin. anelace is top tier. im not rating the last minute party members because theyre just. nothing in my mind. okay thats it goodnight

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )

[twisterss]

aight heres all my thots on infinity war. it’s under a readmore.

good:

-thor is a bad bitch. i know i said this already maybe 10x but... he’s a bad bitch and imo the russos didnt really ruin his character at all (minus putting him in that bigass cape again). he’s one of the only characters to show emotion and he is THE strongest avenger... like he really coulda killed thanos. i love him so much tho so so so much. 

-okoye gives the most hilarious disgusted sideye to bruce banner after he trips in his hulk buster suit lmfao and when wanda finally joins the fights shes like.. “where was she this whole time” (something like that). okoyes just great. 

-tony stark gets the crap kicked out of him. like...if this bitch wasnt killed at least he suffered am i right or am i right ladies?!

-captain america gets punched in the face lmfaooo. like... i dont even dislike captain america but... it was still funny. 

-i lowkey came out of this movie a wanda stan lol. like... they finally stopped trying to depower her!!! shes so strong finally and she makes everyone but thor look like amateurs. i dont even care when this happened im just glad she stopped being whiny and useless. 

-it was better than the last jedi. i know i know!! this isnt a high bar BUT forreal when ppl started comparing the movies i was apprehensive but.... it’s not a good film but it’s still 4000000x better than tlj lmfao. the writing/fighting/colors/treatment of characters of color was way better. like ya the white characters still got the most respect but it was the obvious hatred for characters of color u see in tlj! so thats a positive!

the bad:

-it’s really choppy??? like...all the fights happening in 20 different places was just too much. 

-character development is nonexistent. like... none of these characters have any sort of full arc other than thor (and gamora had a semi-arc)... everyone else seems real...underutilized... yes... even iron man.

-speaking of iron man...thanos knows who iron man/tony stark is... and he tells him that he hopes humanity remembers tony stark. which doesnt make fucking sense since this dude is literally a nobody lmfao!! a random arms dealer from earth is supposed to be someone thanos has heard of and believes humanity should mourn/look up to in any sort of way?? how??? why??? russo/marvel stop sucking tony’s dick for one second challenge!

-the asgardian genocide....except thor says distinctly either “he killed half my people” or “he killed most my people”...so valkyrie must be alive and some of his people must be alive. like... i guess this goes in line with thanos killing half a population per civilization (even if the asgardians were hella small as is). like... it looks like theyre all dead but thor said all that specifically so...im holding out hope. it still was disrespectful to taika and trash writing but...im holding out hope. 

-anything negative happening to wakanda/wakandans. i just wish these ugly fuckos stayed out of the place entirely cause my heart skipped a beat when they showed up in wakanda but thankfully all the fighting happened away from the countries center. 

the worse:

-thanos watches a sunrise (or sunset?) in like a callback to when killmonger watched a sunrise before his death... like maybe that wasn’t on purpose but it looked like it was in wakanda as well i dont even know but it was ugly and boring and tacky in every way. stop trying to make thanos as a better villan than killmonger happen!!! it’s never gonna be a thing!!

-gamoras death was fuckin horrendous. she died just to further this dumb thanos dudes agenda. the trope of letting women die for male pain is so exhausting. and trying to lie to us and say that what thanos felt for gamora was love when all he did was torture, abuse, and control her is crazy!!! like that’s not love u fucking demons!!! fuck the russos.

-the black order...sucked. they were all depowered/weak as hell. cgi was trash and like i said they were just weaklings across the board! just some boring henchmen in all honesty. 

-sam died in a fuckin ditch alone...rhodey was nearby but he didn’t see him. all the deaths had no emotional impact...

-THE WAKANDA ADVERTISEMENTS ARE FALSE. THE WAKANDANS AREN’T THAT IMPORTANT AT ALL. NO ONE FROM THE BP CREW REALLY IS AT ALL IN THIS STORY. FUCK MARVEL FOR ACTING LIKE THEY WERE GONNA BE.

-everyones said this before but...nothing matters... there are no stakes. everyone can return from the dead. the only ppl who i think are probably dead fr fr are loki (thank God) and heimdall (im so mad about that). even gamora can probs come back since her soul seemed to be connected in someway to the soul stone...and they wanna make more guardian movies and shes important so ya know she’ll probs be back (she fucking better be tbh). the “nothing matters” thing makes the movies whole ending completely boring and unemotional lol. like... i did not care when t’challa and falcon disappeared lmfao like i love them but i still didnt feel shit cause i was like...ill see yall later then lol. 

overall:

-it has a lot more problems than what i mentioned but... it’s just a fun popcorn flick if ur not really invested in most of these character like me... i only gave a fuck about the thor crew and every black character lol...otherwise...kill vision, kill bruce, w/e i dont care lol. and it’s especially easy to enjoy this b/c theres no stakes. none of it matters. falcon will be back. t’challa will be back. gamora better be back. we’re gonna pray for heimdall. etc etc. 

[theworldsoul]

I've been very upset lately. The pressure is insane.

And it's not like I don't know math or understand the material, I actually know all the concepts and everything. The only issue is I make little mistakes, the tiniest little mistakes, I forgot about the exponent, I wrote it as negative instead of positive, I forgot the units, I have the wrong amount of sigdigs, I added instead of multiplying... simple things, small things.

This is because my brain doesn't function well with so many rules. It simply doesn't compute long lists of strict rules sorry babe. No joke, all my mistakes arent cos I dont know what I'm doing, they're because I forgot soemthing small.

Fuck this shit man I'm not meant to be doing this... like, the amount of stress this is causing me... and I just know that tommorow after I get a shit mark my parents will be angry... I was given one days notice about the exam??? I study for hours every day??? Idk what else you want me to do like I'm already ruining my mental health for this.

I've told them before that it felt like I was overworking myself and they said that's just somehting I have to get used to and that's honestly so fucking upsetting. Like I rly said "yeah this class is fucking me up" and they went "lol idc get used to it, it will be like this for the rest of your life. Also work harder ur marks suck."

Like bro??? I have cried more in the past day than I've ever cried in ONE DAY... probably like 7 times. That's not normal, I dont think. Either I have some sort of illness or this is too much. I think maybe I have soemthing wrong with ME. Everyone else seems to handle it fine, no one else cries like I do. No one else is constantly doubting their intelligence.

Maybe it's a memory issue??? Like, one day of class I legit raised my hand and solved a question without ever having seen that sort of question before just with Logic, but yesterday I panicked because I couldn't remember how to solve it, in fact I didn't remember it at all until I asked the teacher and she told me that I should know since I was the first to have a correct answer... its almost like my brain doesn't remember math. Maybe that's because it's not built to do math??? Not like that matters... if I want a house in the future I need to finish math with a good grade.

This is SHIT. I work so hard and still I'm unable to live up to the expectations... I'm given at least 30 questions to complete for homework (I get like 4ish hours to do them since I get home at 3, go to bed at 9 and eat supper around 5) and I only end up completing like 6 before i have to go to sleep.... its painful and it's sad and I DON'T BELONG HERE!!!!! I DON'T BELONG IN A FUCKING MATH CLASS, MUCH LESS A GRADE 11 LEVEL IB MATH PROGRAM THAT WAS ORIGINALLY A YEAR LONG COURSE CONDESNED TO FIT INTO THE SPAN OF ONE/TWO MONTHS!!!!

But I can't just... do something easier. I can't. It's not an option if I want a house when I'm older. It's not an option if I want my parents to not hate me. It's not an option if I want to make the teacher who called me "hardworking" and pulled the strings to get me here proud.

I feel guilty for thinking that my hard work and dedication and whatever could ever match the natural wit of the kids who sit next to me. I feel inferior to them as I struggle with a problem that they complete instantly. I feel like I'm worthless. And maybe I am. The MOST IMPORTANT AND MOST RESPECTED SUBJECT is the one I am the worst at. And the ones my parents and society in general dismiss as being useless or stupid are the ones I'm good at and I enjoy. If the things I CAN do aren't good enough, what good am I as a person? What do I serve to society as a person? ...NOTHING.

The pain I feel over this is literally tortuous, fuck, I can't handle it, it physically hurts and it feels like my body is too weak to handle all the pain. I'm not even fucking joking, this makes me miserable. It ALWAYS has. I was so stupid to think I could EVER be good enough. I was so stupid to think if I studied for hours on end I would magically become better at math. It doesn't work that way....

And I feel guilty for wanting to be loved an valued, because how can I expect that when I can't do anything to be deserving of that? I feel guilty for the fear of my parents reactions upon seeing whatever grade I get tommorow, because really, I deserve whatever punishment comes to me. Because really, I'm not worth even having a bed to sleep in if I can't do basic fucking math. I'm so stupid. I'm SO FUCKING STUPID.

I don't know if I'll make it. If I'll pass my classes and make it. If ill get grades good enough to get a job that will pay me Enough.

This is so scary... I hate how my future hinges on this... I'm 15 and whether I live in a house or on the streets is dependent on how good I am at math.

Fuck this it's so stressful I'm panicking and I honestly wish I wasnt even human at all... I wish I could be a bird or a dog or cat or whatever, an animal that is loved, an animal that is happy and free of this crushing. Pressure. An animal that just... no thoughts head empty only animal sounds. Or maybe a baby. It would be nice to be a baby or a small child who only has to know how to write their name and maybe count to ten. Oblivious and happy and cared about. Or maybe it would be best to just be nothing at all. Freed from the prison I've been condemned to live in. Nothing at all. I wish I could sleep and never wake up.

I want to be happy... fuck. I guess I am overdoing it. Something's wrong with me lately. Normal people don't have so many breakdowns in such short spans of time over such stupid bullshit. I think that maybe I've been treated too softly in the past and now that I actually have to work its come as a shock to me.

But that makes no sense. I'm able to work and I do work, a lot, it just isn't helping and my brain won't take it in properly.

When I wake up tommorow my eyes will be swollen from crying so much.

[motherofkittens94]

tagged by @greyjoysea and @staryjoy 

GOT PREFERENCES

Do you watch the episodes when they air? usually not being a brit who doesnt have hbo  i watch like a day or two later when it airs on sky Atlantic  or on now  tv the first three i watched on dvd from a friend who had the boxset it was when we were sharing a house walked in  the logue one  Morning and she watching it and its that bit where the mountain cuts off the horses head and im like what the hell are you watching ?? i just woke up i wasnt expecting violence this early in the morning ? and then sat down and watched it with her and im like and watched the whole rest of season   one and im like what the hell is this show  ??  ....is there more ?? btw my brother said he got half way through season one and said it  was boring im like season ones the best ?? and hes like oh i dont enjoy  historical drama im not interested in medieval history and im like face palm he thinks this is historical and he also doesnt like history wtf i mean  how am  i related to this fool but yeah thats tangent  and i told him get to ep nine so he could see ned stark beheading he said maybe but if i agreed to watch stranger things with him lol :/ 

How often do you rewatch it? Do you rewatch it from season one? ive re watched all the way  it through a few times but usually would only watch my fav episodes ive seen the red wedding so many times though because wed always watch it with some friend whos just getting into and hasnt seen that one yet so we can see their reaction 

Do you rewatch the previous episode before the next one airs? Not usually on each  occasion but my aunt and uncle always do so when i watch with them i do  

Do you eat anything while watching? if so, what do you eat? not usually a proper meal but  i might have snack like crisps or popcorn unless its a glory scene 

One character that everyone seems to like that you don’t care much for hmm cersei ?? and i didnt lime petyr baelish much but he seemed popular at least among my friends  but i do agree he shouldnt had a better death scene they took all the cleverness out of him and though i hadnt liked him it was a shame in a way like the couldnt find way him to go down in a clever interesyting way so they had to dumb him right down  book pb wouldnt get caught like that people like show euron apparently me  hmm not show much to put it nicely also ave mixed feelings about stannis book book and show wise and i like jon but hes not the ultimate  hyped favourite like he is with a lot of people and perfer theon to him tbh 

Your 3 favourite pairings Throbb theonsa jon ygritte jaime brienne thats four but theres two theons so 

Favourite scene: robb getting crowded any scene where theon smiles  theons monologue  theon and sansa hug jon and sansa arya sansa hug jon and ygritte kissing on the wall jaime jumping to save brienne theons speeches both tyrions speeches both but the one in season one was really funny tyrion dragging the chair across the room when everyone is is science idk that cracked  me up bronn duelling for tyrion the one where Catelyn announces to everyone that (she thinks)  tyrion tried to kill bran cause that was the first ep id seen thats the bit that got me hooked  theon getting back up and fighting that ironborn guy pdrick saving tyrion  and i still maintain that viserys had the best death also not to be a basic bitch but that first time dany does her fire thing in season one i was #stunned 

One character you wish got more appreciation: theon duh #nomoredickjokes2018 but also meera and jojen too i suppose  and shireen and sansa and they could've (shouldve) done more with myrcella and tommen   and brienne too was underused and gendry also idk if if i like the way the tried to iron the grey parts out of tyrion and jon  and bran i wish they done brans story better and wed have got that tree scene with theon also as a disabled gal  certain comments some people make about uselessness of bran sometimes make me uncomfy tbh 

Fanfic or nah? i usually only read theon based ones and thats usually just theon robb theon sansa or sometimes theon jeyne p cause i cant do bolton heavy stuff im a whimp  but i read the occasion jon / ygritte or jaime / brienne and once i tried theon jon  but i wasnt sold soz :/ i read theon ygritte once as well  that actualy worked surprising well and theon domeric .. aha  thats mine  and @blueagia s baby  

but i guess id be open to others maybe 

Favourite quote:  from just the show ?  meeras some people will always need help that doesnt mean theyre not worth helping  also tyrions death is so final but life is full of possibilities and   mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge. That's why I read so much Jon Snow also sansas not a killer .. not yet anyway sansa - or maybe hell give me yours theons sy he is is theon greyjoy again also i like that quote about theons smile but obvi thats not in the show bronns this is bronn son of .. you wouldnt know him  just because it was funny 

Do you avoid spoilers? :  i do because im a blabber if i know id tell everyone omg this happens and that - i dont do on purpose really not with the intention of spoiling it for people  i just blurt it out like  i ruined he Rains of Castamere for someone once by saying oh is this one where robb dies ? and i didnt realise she hadnt seen it  yet and shes like robb dies :( :( and im  like oh umm i meant ...  rob - ert baratheon obviously ! haha whoops and i told someone else about jofferys death because shed said she seen it all  but she said later  i wish joffrey would die and  i was lil tipsey then so im like  .. but he does die ? youve seen it right? in season 4 ? hes poisoned ?  at his wedding ? to Margaery?? and shes like ....thanks beth ..... turns outs shed only  seen season 1-3 whoops again but hey i was drunk  that time so i  now avoid spoilers to avoid spoiling people and when i read the books my then housemates told me not to tell them what was different in case they wanted to read the books later on and didnt want me to spill and i did try to keep to it but i blabbed a few things tbh 

Favourite house words: We do not sow greyjoys ftw 

One character you’d bring back from the dead: ygritte shireen  robb maybe catelyn  and hoder !!

One character you’d kill, or kill sooner than they were killed balon greyjoy also ramsay but i wouldve done  it differently and theon shouldve been there or at least known about it also randyll tarly like fuck that guy ive seen people defending him and im like no offense but you are serious me and a friend had a bet on the boltons i bet against roose dying and he bet against ramsay dying we both lost lmao 

Direwolves or dragons? Dragons 

Which was more satisfying: Ramsay dying or Joffrey dying? hmm i actually joffrey probably because it was more unexpected i didnt see it coming i didnt think hed die  -i wanted ramsay to die and i wanted to like ramsay dying  and wished i had liked it more but it wasnt  done  the way i wanted it and it seemed so obvious like it wasnt a shock like joffrey dying was  i think in a way they over did ramster and just ran out f things fro him to do that he hadnt already like i was like hmm sewating nevously what can we do now ...err  kill your dad! kill a baby! kill  a stark  kill .. jon snow ...??  aye fuck it get rid of guy ay 

 i liked season six   better than season 7 or 5 but it made me lol in a way cause it seemed like they went ok ok you didnt like it last time when we killed all the women we heard you! we did ! weve changed things yes  so how about this instead ...   the woman kill everyone ! yea ? you like that ? we good now ?  sweet as ! put more women killing eveyone into season 7 dave we on the money 

Wildlings or the dothraki? Wildlings

Favourite lannister?  Tyrion but jaimes growing on me 

Favourite stark? i think sansa tbh 

Would you rather be able to be resurrected anytime, but gain scars and all like Beric, or become a faceless man? Resurrect any time like Beric

Would you rather have the rebellion tv show or the conquest tv show?  id pefer Rebellion but id watch a conquest show i think 

tagging @saltwaterwoods @whiteladyofrohann  @unamatta  @wedonnotcare @faller1344 @starkrysis @iladylittlefinger if you want to :) 

[defendglobe]

im so so tired of fighting with my dad and ive just given up

tonight my mom made some stroganoff thing for dinner and i cant eat that bc im really sensitive to food so i was like “im gonna make myself mac and cheese instead since im not a fan of stroganoff” and my mom was like yeah go ahead bc this kind of thing happens a lot thanks to me and my bullshit digestive system and she gets it.

but my dad gets really mad and starts banging shit around and huffing at me and yelling “don’t say you’re not a fan of things!!”. im like yeah ok maybe that wasnt the most polite way to say it so i asked my dad what he would have preferred me to say instead but he glared and me and didnt respond.

seems silly but it just  was the last straw tbh.

im really at breaking point like it takes so much out of me and no matter what i do he is always angry with me and he wont communicate at all. 

i hate that i have to put myself in a situation where people are violently homophobic and racist all the time to get away from this. 

more than anything i hate the fact that my parents had to fucking bring me into existence at all. not a day goes by where i dont wish i was fucking dead. i hope i fucking die in my sleep. i fucking hope someday soon i do the impulsive shit i constantly have the urge to do like jumping in front of the train without remembering thats a bad idea and not doing it lol. im a useless disgusting selfish piece of shit with no fucking future and i goddamn deserve it.