#winged lion is so interesting ugh

[ratkiddoo]

dungeon meshi chapter 88 oh my goddddd i have so many fucking thoughts holy shit

[wyrmfedgrave]

Pics: On "Gaudeamus."

1. Frontpiece to a collection of Anacreon's surviving works.

2. Masterful sculpture of Anacreon 'capturing' his Muse.

3. Map of ancient Thrace, birthplace of Spartacus - a man who couldn't & wouldn't remain a slave.

Even if the only freedom he could find was in death...

4. Thracian national folk costume. The women still perform old styled Greek dances.

5 & 6. Small, colorful Thracian street scenes still dot the local landscape.

7 thru 10. The ruins of Teos, Turkey - with the top of its lion gate, doorway, palace(?) & amphitheater.

1914: "Gaudeamus" Notes -

1. That short story is "Winged Death", which Lovecraft ghost wrote for Hazel Heald.

The "soul stealing" that I mentioned was described as a "change in (the narrator's) personality."

But, come on.

His whole mind was 'magically'(?) transferred into an insect! That would include his so-called soul...

2. I'm of the opinion that none of HPL's narrators can be trusted - at all!

Whatever they've discovered has rendered them insane - & suicidal!!

Every account that they happen to leave behind, were usually written - after - they became mad.

So, in every encounter, the 'alien monster' remains in a mysterious & misunderstood state...

3. The Deep Ones are underwater creatures 1st named in Howard's novella "Shadow Over Innsmouth."

Think of mermen that look like the Creature of the Black Lagoon!

But, this species were "awesomely hinted at" in Lovecraft's earlier short story "Dagon."

I wonder how these mermen are seen in their own culture. Are they sexual deviants or is it a racial conquest pattern or a holy quest or some kind of survival trait?

Also, they must be closely related to humans to be able to successfully mate with us.

But, we still don't know the specifics that allow this to happen...

4. This story is the great "Under the Pyramids." The novella was sold to readers as a 'real life' adventure that Houdini "actually lived thru."

But, other sources claim Howard had already penned the story & that Houdini was interested in being the tale's protagonist.

At that moment, 2 great minds did think alike...

5. Harry Houdini is the still fondly remembered Stage Magician, Public Escapist & Fake Spiritualist Buster!

(That last remark makes it seem like "real" spiritualists are out there some- where. Sorry, I 'see' that they're not.)

Houdini was planning for a sequel to "Under the Pyramids" - just before he died.

A Canadian fan asked Houdini if he could actually take a hit to his gut & remain unphased!

Harry said yes & the guy sucker punched him unexpectedly!

Since Houdini had not had time to prepare his muscles, the blow ruptured his appendix!!

Nine days later, Houdini died.

In typical fashion, for him, Houdini vowed to contact the living - if he found it at all possible!

Since then, on the day of his death, some family & fans have waited for him to 'escape' death itself...

6. Gaudeamus is Latin for "let us (enjoy)." This was sometimes spoken as an invitation to eat - before rich Romans gorged & vomited their usual meals.

Ugh...

7. HPL's main revisions for Zealia are: "The Curse of Yig", "The Mound" & "Medusa's Coil."

But, it's thought that Lovecraft re- wrote other works for her. Even though she specialized in romantic stories...

I don't yet know why she suddenly wanted to try the weird fiction market at this time.

To be followed up much later...

8. A tankard of warm British ale?

Tankards are drinking cups with 1 handle. They are usually made of silver, pewter - even hardened leather!

In earlier centuries, most pewter cups contained lead - which led to drinkers suffering heavy metal poisoning &/or gout!!

Strangely enough, the acids in hard cider speeded up these poisonous effects!

As for traditional British ale, it's known as top fermented cast (or real) ale.

This means that it finishes maturing in a pub's cellar & is only served with natural carbonation.

9. Though this line has to do with time's illusory 'passing', I can't help but think there's some hint of Howard's "Decline of the West" fixation in it.

10. Anacreon was an ancient Greek lyric poet best known for his drinking songs & erotica!

Lyric poets of that time, usually composed joyous religious hymns.

Ouch...

Though born in Teos, Asia Minor (in today's Turkey) he moved to Thrace, an area in northeast Greece.

Sadly, only fragments of his works have survived to this day...

11. "God split me!", translates as "God strike me down (if I am lying)!"

But, it also has an element of defiance to it...

12. Red nose (aka "rum blossom" & "whiskey nose") is actually not directly caused by alcohol!!

Rather, such facial redness is actually more related to rosacea, which affects the blood vessels in one's face.

A red nose can also be caused by sudden flushing, lupus, inflammation, allergies, etc...

13. "White as a lily" here, references a corpse's color - due to blood loss.

But, it's usually used to mean "pure, perfect, uncorrupted or blameless, innocent."

Not so of the Lily-White Movement in 1888, where Republikkkans tried to oust African-Americans from leader- ship positions in the Texas Republican Party - by inciting riots!!

So, Republikkkans have always been acting like this...

Lily White is now used sarcastically for white people as a whole. Like white bread or paleface...

14. HPL's always felt that he had been born too late. He preferred the 1700s, thinking of it as England's "Golden Age."

Perukes (wigs) have been part of the professional, high status jobs of judges & lawyers since the 1600s.

They are also worn in Parliament, as a sign of authority.

15. Chaff usually means "the cast off husks of grains seeds."

But, it's also British slang for "teasing" or "good natured banter."

There's a Biblical chaff, in Matthew 3:12, which describes "those who enjoy the sacraments, but are not solid..."

Guessing here, "Folk who go to church but, don't act in a Christian manner?"

16. Quaff, "to drink (an alcoholic drink) in a hearty manner."

Has some great synonyms: attack, lap, force down, drain, carouse, sink, kill, slug, knock back, take a drop, wet one's whistle, crack a bottle, murder, bit, sot, etc...

Most of which describe drinking too much - or, not enough!

17. A teetotaler is someone who never enjoys any alcoholic drinks.

In the 1920s, a tolerance movement of teetotalers (made up of Protestants, Progressives & women) actually made liquor illegal!

But, this led straight into the violence of the Prohibition & the quick growth of the Mob...

(Oops, the curse of unintended consequences strikes again!)

Today, overdrinking is treated as an addictive medical problem.

18. Usually "any diabolically evil & cruel devil, demon, person, etc..."

But, here it means Satan, the ultimate Christian Boogeyman!

19. Your lips & face turn blue - if your blood has little oxygen in it.

This is caused by poor circulation or, worse, if one is unable to breathe.

It warns you that someone's choking or has drowned...

Also, cold temps can narrow one's blood vessels. But, a gentle massage of the affected area, make it return to a normal blood flow.

Weird Bit: Why does it make me think about blue-skinned Indian Gods & those Thuggee highwaymen who strangled their victims to death...

(The blue color personifies the depth & vastness of sky & sea for Hindus...)

20. Summon? A chair?

Is this some drunken royal command?

Or, worse, the magical summoning up of possessed or demonic furniture?

Pleasant dreams, eh?

(Yeah, it's now sharing your bed...)

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 29

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L Warnings: Language, angst, insecurities, blood, darkish thoughts (self-hatred), fighting, violence Author's Note: heavy chap. if you’re having a bad day, take a moment, be kind to yourself and put off reading this until you feel better 💜

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Playlist 】

Chapter 29: That Pet You Just Couldn't Keep

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Remus woke up to a bright, white light. He squinted, head lolling to the side of his lumpy pillow. The chair near his bedside was empty, saved from a pitcher of water along with a few potions Madam Pomfrey must’ve left for him, were placed on the stand beside his bed.

Something wasn’t right. Peter or one of the other Marauders were always there waiting for him after his transformations.

Too hot for a blanket in June, he ripped off his covers and noticed the bumpy, large material hiding beneath his nightgown. He licked his lips, letting air whistle down his dry throat while a sharp, burning sensation flooded his abdomen. Remus winched, groaning out while stretching to drink the potions and water. Although, as he brought the glass vials to his lips, he noticed that his arm was littered with scratches and bruises. Curious, he lifted the slit of the gown to see a large wrapping across his lower stomach and bruises in the shape of lopsided circles and rectangles travelling across his body.

Remus felt his face scrunch. Ever since the Marauders had become animaguses, he hardly sustained any injuries aside from the occasional limp or flimsy scratch. There was usually an absence of pain nowadays, not an overload of it.

What caught his attention was the scent of human blood. His senses were always heightened the week leading up to the full moon and the week following, so it was particularly strong. It caused his head to spin like planets performing a celestial dance.

Preoccupied with the scent, Remus didn’t notice someone slipping into the room.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” A fuzzy Peter came into view. He went to sit on the edge of his bed sporting a nervous look.

“Was wondering where you were.” Remus relaxed at his appearance.

“Yeah… Erm — been busy.”

Soon enough, another sharp pain stabbed at his abdomen again. “Fuck — what happened last night?”

Wormtail sucked in sharply as he wiggled in his seat uncomfortably. “I… something terrible happened. Bollocks, Moons — I’m sorry...”

Remus felt his spine prickle with needles. “What?”

“We should wait until Dumbledore or James comes back.”

“Dumbledore?!”

Ghostly pale, Peter was on the verge of fainting. Remus took another deep inhale. This time, he smelt blood, but it was coming off of Peter and a few other foreign scents lingered on him. Was that… Y/N? And… Snape? Remus scanned Peter, noticing the droplet of red on his shoes.

“Pete,” his voice dropped to an icy whisper, “Whose blood is that?”

He remained quiet.

Remus moved to prop himself up on the bed. “What happened?”

As Peter spoke, every word made Remus recline into himself and he was left unsure of how to feel. The overload of information put him into a state of complete shock. His vision faded in and out, suddenly feeling very cold and dizzy compared to the hot weather.

He distantly heard Peter trying to gain his attention but stared blankly at the metal bed frame.

“Say something,” his friend tried, sounding desperate. He didn’t even know how long he’d been quiet for.

Remus worked through the betrayal in nine steps. It helped make sense of his emotions. To categorize them — making it easier to file away.

1. Shock & denial

“No,” he said, barely moving a muscle in his face. “That's impossible! Padfoot would never…”

Peter watched him pitifully. Remus’ eyes blinked rapidly, heart pounding. “I’m sorry.”

2. Process what happened (or try to)

“He… told… Snape?” He asked despite Peter repeating the story multiple times.

“Sirius was mad at Sniv — Snape, and he was provoked by —”

“I didn’t hurt him, did I? I didn’t hurt anyone?”

“He’s fine.”

“Then why won’t you tell me what happened to me? Why was I bleeding?”

He refused to look him in the eyes and Remus felt terror ebb it's way through his skin. “Answer me!”

“As I said, L/N and Snape got into a row… she heard Sirius tell him and she went to save him…”

“Don’t you dare lie to me.”

Wormtail took a deep breath. “You… nicked her a bit and James’ antler broke off in you because… he was trying to get you off of her…”

Remus was rooted in place. What Peter just said was unreal. His stomach twisted painfully. He blinked. “Y/N’s hurt? I hurt her?”

“Yes — no! That was Snape —” “Is she here? Did I bite her?”

“You didn’t and yeah but —” “Move out of my way.” He pushed himself up wobbly.

“You lot a lot of blood, sit —”

“Get out of my way!” He threatened. Remus pushed Peter to the side, clambered to his feet. Remus gripped the bed tightly and felt a few seams rip open and blood began to faintly seep through his white bandages.

He staggered around, ripping back the curtains until he saw Y/N. Limping up to her bed, Remus almost burst into tears when he saw her. She looked so tiny, curled up and engulfed in blankets and pillows. Her ankle was propped up, head bandage and skin dull.

It felt like Peter had poured a bucket of freezing cold water on him.

He hurt her. Almost got her and Snape killed or infected. Could have hurt Prongs and Wormtail…

He was a fucking monster.

He should be put down.

From how loud he was, running around the wing, Y/N’s eyes fluttered open. She attempted to stretch, groaning out in pain. But then, her eyes flickered up to him and she froze. Her hand shot up protectively to her chest and face as instinctively went for her wand but stopped. Genuine fear flashed through her, making Remus instantly want to cry. It felt like an eternity passed as she gripped her sheets and opened her mouth.

She was going to scream — to take him away — call him a monster — to cry or yell for Madam Pomfrey or —

But Y/N’s body relaxed. A tried smile twisted and gaze dissipated with fear, replaced with nothing but understanding and softness; she even went as far to touch his hand but Remus wrenched it back.

“Ta-da!” She croaked. “I lived.”

Remus didn’t smile, only staring horrified.

“Yeah, that was a hit or miss...” Peter interjected. He stood behind him, ensuring that if he fell, he’d be there to catch Remus. He continued to stare like she grew another set of eyes.

“What?” Her grin deflated. “Am I that irresistible?”

That pulled a breathy laugh from Remus as he shook his head. Why wasn’t she disgusted with him?

“Thank Merlin, you’re both awake.” All their heads turned to James’s floating head before he pulled off the invisibility cloak.

James moved to pull Remus into a large hug, whispering an ‘I’m sorry’ into his ear. He held him for a while before breaking off, going to embrace Y/N who wheezed.

“Ouch.”

“My bad, my bad!” He pulled back and slipped into bed with her. Peter forced Remus to sit on the edge of her bed while he stood.

A million thoughts ran through his head. He wanted to get away, to run — not even be in the same room as her. Remus wanted to think, to make any sense of what happened.

What the fuck happened? He couldn’t even process it.

She remembered everything, right? Surely she wouldn’t be this calm had she.

“Oh, wait — Lupin, are you alright? I swear a deer came at you last night.”

James chuckled out loud, breaking Remus out of his thoughts as he looked at him and Peter. “I guess there’s no point for secrets anymore.”

Y/N looked at them questioningly, her eyes squinting from the bright light before Peter went to close the blinds shut. James got off the bed, smiling widely at Remus and Peter got onto the bed instead.

“Ugh — Pete? James? What —”

A loud gasp ripped from her mouth as she jerked away from James who turned into a very large stag and Peter into a fat brown rat.

Remus could almost cry at how comical her face looked.

James was so large that he had to take a few steps back to prevent his antlers from poking one of their eyes out and Remus noticed that one was gone.

He felt sick again. A hand drifted to his stomach.

“Holy shit! Oh my god!” Y/N went to graze a finger on Peter’s fur before turning to James with shaky hands to touch one of his antlers and patting him on the head. She was speechless as her mouth open several times before forcing out, “You're really Bambi!”

James turned back, taking his glasses off to clean. “I wanted to be a lion — for Gryffindor, y’know.”

“You can’t choose, I wouldn’t be a rat.” Peter grimaced.

“They’re highly intelligent. Nothing to worry about.” James reassured and ruffled his hair.

“When did you guys learn to do this?”

“We’ve been at it for three years now. We finally were able to do it in August before school started.”

She shook her head, staring in awe.

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Dumbledore came to speak to everyone later that day.

Remus had been dreading it once he came into the wing and began speaking to Y/N, a buzzing sound filling his ear. All Remus was left to do was twiddle his thumbs, waiting and completely disoriented.

When he finally approached him, Dumbledore lost his usual twinkle in his eyes. He made sure to close the long vertical blinds and again, the room filled with a low buzzing sound.

“How are you doing?” He asked. Remus, had he been in the right mindset, would have prevented the scoff escaping him. Dumbledore didn’t react but continued. “Miss L/N is recovering well and Mr. Snape didn’t receive any injuries. Just a fright.”

Remus nodded, that was good, but he remained quiet.

“Snape’s been persuaded to act accordingly for the best interest of his fellow pupils and L/N gave her word.”

Remus choked back a laugh. Snape was going to, no matter what, let his secret slip somehow.

“You’re also exempt from the Transfiguration exams, both you and Miss L/N. You’ve both sustained a degree of varying head injuries and you’ll be graded on a cumulative from McGonagall.”

Dumbledore was forcing Remus to the edge as he bit down on his inner cheek. It was useless to listen to him. “Are you expelling me?”

“No. You should not bear any blame.”

“Dumbledore, no offence, but are you mental?” Remus sputtered adding, “I endangered four students last night.”

“Yes but —” “The next time we won’t be so lucky. I’m a monster, sir. I should be.”

The headmaster sighed. “Remus, give yourself a bit of credit. Think highly of yourself.”

Remus gave a dry laugh, almost baffled at how Dumbledore was acting. Did he just gloss over the fact he could have gotten students infected? He wouldn’t be able to live with himself had he. “How can I?”

“Well Y/N seemed to think very highly of you. She made you a very compelling case along with your friends, Potter, Pettigrew and Black.”

“Black’s not my friend,” Remus countered. He didn’t care about how rude he was being.

“Remus —”

“Is he expelled?”

“No.” The answer had Remus wheeling, anger spiking. “He’s not.”

“Why not? If it isn’t my fault, that I’m not to blame then why isn’t he? He told them how to find me.”

“I understand that this is a very difficult situation and rest assured, Sirius will be punished. I can promise you. But expulsion isn’t the answer.”

Remus refused to look at Dumbledore and he must've realized he was getting nowhere with him. He stood but before leaving, he gave a pitiful look.

“I have done terrible deeds, indulged in foolish pranks that I have lived to regret, but each has been a valuable learning experience. It’s a pity that it came to this. Learn in your heart to forgive, Remus. The world is already filled with too much hate.”

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June 16th, 1976

3. Sadness & pain

Remus had been avoiding the Marauder’s dorm. He’d gone as far as begging Madam Pomfrey (who’d taken pity because she knew what happened) to let him stay another two nights before getting kicked out. Remus always healed physically faster and his wounds were already healed by the third day. Pathetically, he’d been sleeping in dingy passageways or the prefects’ bathroom before relocating after being harassed by the ghosts.

Remus had a plan, avoid them; skip classes, get longer prefect duties, never staying in one spot for too long. He wouldn’t know what would happen if Snape saw him. Although, whatever Dumbledore told him, it kept Snape quite so far. But tonight, he got tired of Moaning Myrtle sobbing.

Before curfew, Remus made it a habit of visiting Y/N, who was still stuck in the wing; both out of guilt and because she was his friend, but he couldn't stay for long — seeing her like that made him wallow in guilt.

Similar to him, Lily had visited, along with the other girls, every day. Today, Lily stayed a little longer, bleeding into the time Remus usually dropped by. He watched as Lily whisper into her ear, causing Y/N to laugh and Lily blush madly as she sat snug by her side. Not wanting to ruin their moment, Remus went to leave before they had the chance to see him.

Remus had another pressing matter anyway.

He entered one of the nearest bathrooms to give himself some sort of pep talk and stared at the mirror.

You can do this. A voice echoed in his head.

Typically, memories from the full moon came back to Remus a few days or even weeks later, his brain usually too foggy a couple of hours after and even then, he would never fully remember everything. He vaguely remembered seeing a flash of Snape’s face and Prongs but Y/N’s screams were one of the clearer memories from that night.

“REMUS! PLEASE REMUS! STOP!”

Remus looked to stare at himself in the mirror. He observed the scar on the bridge of his nose, feeling bile rush up his throat at the sight.

He was a freak, littered with scars covering himself.

He was disgusting.

Ugly.

Pathetic.

Dangerous.

A monster!

4. Anger

Sirius Black had always been loyal, so what changed that night?

He needed to leave. It was no good staying here anymore.

Remus was shaking with rage, twinged with hurt. He paced outside of the common room door and had a few options running through him. Either start a huge fight with Sirius or just… ignore it.

Avoidance.

Maybe he could ignore Sirius forever? Impossible, surely. Sirius would get bored, anxious within a couple of weeks — that was too generous — a few days sounded right.

With his mind made up, Remus crept up to his room. He could hear the faint shouts of James and pondered about just sleeping in the common room or prefects’ bathroom. Even if he did have to listen to Moaning Myrtle.

Maybe because his senses were still coming down from its peak or James was just brash, but Remus didn’t even have to press his ear on the door.

“— done ENOUGH! — hear me? You better — why are YOU crying? You bloody — understand? Understand?! You will not talk — him — best friends my —”

The only person he's told he was coming back was Wormtail and it sounded like he told Prongs.

Remus didn’t care to listen anymore as he pushed open the door. Pete was sitting on his bed, eyes wide at Remus’ presence surrounded by unwrapped wrappers. He always tended to eat while stressed.

Sirius was looking down at the floor as James stood in front of him, scolding him like a child. But, his head shot up once he walked through the door. Out of his peripheral vision, he could see his eyes bloodshot, puffy and circles dark. He didn’t dare look at him.

Remus didn’t acknowledge them, instead moving robotically to the bathroom, changing into his holey yet comfortable clothes before scurrying off to bed, swinging his curtains shut before casting a silencing spell around.

He’d plan to adhere to his avoidance strategy. It worked so far.

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June 18th, 1976 | 1:29 am

“Psst… Moony.”

Remus turned over to face him. “What do you want Peter?”

“Just wanted to check up. You okay?”

“What do you think? Please, leave me alone.” And then closed his bed drapes.

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June 19th, 1976 | 11:37 pm

Peter had crept up to his bed again as Remus laid there awake, thoughts swarming him.

“I’m not in the mood. I’m tired.” He moved to turn over and forced his eyes closed.

Peter had been nothing but amazing. Always thinking about him and his needs but what Remus wanted most was to be alone and Peter's pity and worried features did nothing but make Remus feel like shit.

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June 21st, 1976

In life, there are few things that are certain. Getting older, death, taxes… No matter how hard we try, no matter how good our morals are or our intentions, we all will eventually make mistakes. It’s either as small as burning your food or writing the wrong answer down on a test, but you’re also going to fuck up pretty bad and hurt people. Say something — do something you don’t mean and it’ll end up with both sides hurt. If you want forgiveness, there’s multiple solutions to gain that back, but the two words — obvious, there, waving in front of your face — can be the hardest words to say.

“I’m sorry.” Black muttered for the hundredth time that night. His voice was pushing Remus to the edge as he kept his face straight. Dead. Not once taking Sirius’ shitty apology baits. He continued to stare down at his book, reading silently in his dorm. His teeth hurt from how hard he was clenching his jaw.

Remus was right, of course, he was fucking right. Black had grown anxious as he ignored him.

“I’m sorry.”

Remus never really considered himself violent. Sure, he’s gotten into rows that ended with a punch or hex here or there, but Remus didn’t have violent thoughts. If anything, he prided himself on not being a bonehead like Black and Prongs. But, it took every ounce not to beat the shit out of Black right there and then.

Bastard. Scumbag. You mother fucking betrayer.

Remus never liked not being in control. Not having it scared him too much, feeling more animal than man. He did everything to avoid being violent, the wolf was already violent enough and had too much control and Remus refused to let it dictate human him. There was already too much violence, he never wanted to contribute more.

He did everything not to be a monster. But it's like the wolf roared from deep within, scratching and begging to let him pounce.

Remus wasn’t violent — anyone who met him would vouch for that. Fuck, if he saw a spider, he would open a nearby window and release it. But now, he wanted to slam Sirius against a wall and wrap his hands around his neck and squeeze.

You piece of shit. Wanker. Twat. I want you to feel as much pain as I do.

“Moony, please let me explain —”

All the words suddenly blurred before Remus slammed his book shut, causing to become still and quiet.

Sirius trying to explain — excuse his actions — pushed him over the edge. Remus sent a venomous glare at Sirius, waiting for him to talk. His quietness made everyone uneasy.

Selfish bastard.

Any sympathy Remus held for him this past year, along with any logic, evaporated to the point where he felt a rabid thump spread through him. There was a desperation to relieve himself of it — lash out, scream, cry —

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,” the rest of the Marauders watched the scene, knowing not to get involved. “It was a mistake and —“

“A mistake?”

Sirius perked up at this. That was the only word he’d spoken to him since the incident. “Honest. I did it because —” “Shut the fuck up.” Remus stood, tall and loomed over Sirius. He could almost smell the fear off him.

He had never been so mad before.

“I — I… I,” stutters Remus. But instead of it being out of shyness or nerves, it was out of pure wrath that he wasn’t able to articulate his emotions properly. He took a deep breath in, attempting to regain control over his emotions but failed as he burned with deep, seething hatred. “I am the monster that mothers tell their children to keep them in at night.”

“Moony —”

“Don’t call me that!” His voice boomed so loud that everyone in the room had to take a step back and shrink down. Remus was always so reserved, only ever lashing out in annoyance close to the full moon but nothing more.

“Living up to your name, aren’t you?” There’s a sarcastic, bitter humour lilt to his voice.

Someone so in control of his emotions, someone with an unbreakable exterior, the only glimpses they’d ever seen of Remus losing control was him snapping at someone close to the full moon but would later apologize within mere seconds. But to see him like that… it was an intrusion, something the Marauders hadn’t ever seen or wanted to before.

“Please, just calm down so we can talk.”

Remus paces around the room. “You — y’know I’ve never understood why everyone lets you get around treating others like shit. First, it was Marlene, James, me, Peter, Lily and Y/N — we all let you get away with it. Outburst after outburst, we all sat back because you were going through shit. But I can’t? I’m not allowed to get angry?!”

Sirius wouldn’t look at him.

“Look at me.” Remus kept his voice low throughout the ordeal, only ever raising if Black interjected. “You coward, look at me!”

5. A lot of anger

He couldn’t meet his eyes so he settled to stare at the scar across his nose. It only angered him more as Remus picked Sirius up and pushed him against the wall as he fisted his shirt.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry is nothing but a word to you. I gave you my most trusted secrets. I confided in you. I was there for you when you needed it. I loved and cared for you like my own brother but I was nothing more than a pet that you discarded when you got bored. You’re only guilty because of the repercussions you’re facing. Your guilt isn’t nearly enough. Bastard. I trusted you. You’re a Marauder. My best friend. I would’ve done anything for you. You fucking ruined it.

“You did this! You did!”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

He laughs, mocking and loud, void of any emotion. “No, you aren’t. You’re never fucking sorry!”

Stupid fucking selfish arsehole.

“For years you’ve told me that you accepted me — cared for me — loved me like your own brother! That what I am — a-a monster — that it didn’t matter!”

“It didn’t mean anything, I promise! It was a shitty, fucked up prank —”

“A prank?! You used me as a weapon! A toy because how could anyone ever love a werewolf?” Remus’ voice was so low. “You’ve never respected me. If you had any, you wouldn’t have — you - wouldn’t....”

Everything came crashing on Remus at once.

6. The realization settles in

And after nine days, Remus Lupin had finally realized what Sirius Black had done. Before, everything he felt had been true but he hadn’t fully realized the gravity of what happened, as silly as it sounds.

Sirius turned his worst fear into a living nightmare.

In the background, one of James’ Quidditch posters, encased in glass exploded, shattering into millions of pieces from the amount of pure magic radiating off Remus. He didn’t even flinch at the sound.

James finally interjected, placing a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “Lay off him… He isn’t worth it.”

Remus eased off Black instantly. “You had no right… no right…” He pointed. Remus turned his face down as he felt tears build up.

“I trusted you,” he whispers. “Every bit.”

Remus stormed out of the dorm, going to sleep in the common room.

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

June 22nd, 1976

7. Depression

When Remus finally let himself cry, he didn’t make a move to leave his bed. Even skipping meal times, leaving James or Pete to bring him food.

Everything felt suffocating, a gnawing feeling that made every part of him ache. Remus couldn’t handle anymore pain or emotions from ‘the prank’ as he felt himself slip into a temporary void.

He hugged his pillow tighter and closed his eyes once more.

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

June 23rd, 1976 | 11: 37 pm

Remus had gone straight to bed again, effectively shutting up the rest of the dorm. James was ignoring Black, leaving Remus surprised that he hadn’t made a move to defend his actions. Nonetheless, he was appreciative still. Peter had been trying to appease everyone, not taking sides but still must’ve thought Sirius was in the wrong because he hadn’t talked to him much.

He didn’t ask James to choose between him or Black. Remus was never one for ultimatums but even then, it seemed like James picked him. He was beyond furious, seemingly more than Remus at this point who pathetically wallowed in his depression. He wouldn’t spare Black a second glance, wouldn’t talk to him, shut him down if he tried to speak to him. Hell, he’d even gone as far as to make it very clear to the entirety of Hogwarts that they were no longer friends, making sure to not sit with him, ever. Always choosing to sit by Remus.

They chose his side and a part of Remus felt elated to know they had his back.

This left Black alone, looking at them through tearful gazes. Remus had been ignoring all of them and they seemed to be understanding, avoiding crossing the wordless boundary Remus set in stone.

But, both James and Peter had been checking up on him nightly, always there and he could tell they were getting impatient.

When the lights went out, he heard James crept out of bed. Usually, Remus would find some sort of comfort in knowing who was approaching him, but now, it only left him feeling uneasy.

And then he felt the bed dip and James muttered out a spell.

“Hey, Moony.”

Remus didn’t face him. “Prongs?”

“Hey,” there was a loud sigh, “Do you need anything?”

What was he supposed to say? A hug? To talk? He’d much rather use his avoidance strategy, although he realized it left him alone with too many thoughts and nobody to confide in.

“M’good.” He felt James place a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll always be there for you. That’s what Marau - that’s what friends are for, no?”

Remus didn’t answer and felt James move to leave. But before he had the chance to slip out, Remus peeked his head from the drapes, announcing just loud enough for Sirius to hear.

“Thanks for saving all of us, James. You’re a true friend.”

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June 24th, 1976

People had their poisons.

Alcohol can make you forget. It blocks out everything and makes the rest of the world fade away until you can’t remember. People gambled to feel a rush, only to realize they dug themself into irreversible debt. Shopping, food, the high from risky behaviour…

But how we manage our poisons is up to the person.

People love to deny that they have addictions. They deny they’re hooked, they deny that they can’t put it down, they deny that they’re scared or want to stop. People only see what they want to see, believe what they want to believe.

And then the truth becomes muddled with lies that it’s hard to recognize the poisons sitting right in front of us. And all we want is more.

For Remus, his poison, his bright red self-destruction button, was smoking.

Granted, he never was a big smoker, typically only smoking when stressed or bored. But he still did it, filling his lungs with poison. But maybe he was wired like that. Besides, what werewolf lives past thirty? Might as well die revelling in the poison that brought him ease…

Remus conjured a ball of bright fire from his hand; fishing out a pack of cigarettes, slipped it past his lips and lit it. He inhaled, feeling the familiar, comforting feeling before dragging it from his lips, blowing out the thick cloud of smoke that left him wanting more.

He’d been sticking to his avoidance tactic strictly now. The Marauders were hovering over him, worry evident on their faces. A few times, Lily and James both invited him to sit. They never fought anymore, or at least in front of him, and it probably was his doing — a group effort into getting him to talk.

So even Lily knew something was wrong… Snape probably told her…

The door clicked open and Remus didn’t have to turn around to know how it was.

“Leave me alone. I’m not ready to talk.”

“Wasn’t gonna make you.”

He spun around, that wasn’t James or Peter. His face softened.

“Well… I’m not,” Y/N said simply, “But the others are about to.”

Remus groaned at that but Y/N smiled and turned around, ushering him over with a little wave. In one hand, she raised the Marauder’s map. “C’mon, I know a place and that they won’t be able to find.”

Remus was intrigued. He stepped out the butt of the cigarette, flicked it into the trash and followed her. Surely he’d already been there but being with Y/N seemed ten folds better than being around the other Marauders.

He followed wordlessly, passageways flying through his head but she never stopped by them. Instead, she climbed onto a ledge, slipping into an area under a large curtain. He followed, eyes lighting up in awe. He’s definitely never been there before.

“Get comfortable,” she said, flinging him a pillow and lighting a few candles.

They sat opposed to each other in complete silence. Y/N flicked back and forth, watching James and Peter scrabble around the castle looking for him. A few times, they passed by, each time leaving Y/N amused.

Remus tapped his leg anxiously. The question remained: Why wasn’t she disgusted with him? Why was she helping him? Why wasn’t she afraid?

Now alone together, those questions dangled on his tongue.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

She looked up at him, finally putting down the map. “Because you’re Remus.” She said, like it was the most obvious answer. “You’re not scary.”

8. Hold onto doubt

The answer irritated him. Another memory unfolded then and he blurted it out. “Why didn’t you cast any spells at me?”

Her brows rose, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m dangerous.” His voice was bleak and cold. “Why can't you grasp that?”

She stays quiet for a long time, her head turning to look out the large window. Y/N watched the owls and labyrinth of ancient trees of the forbidden forest and Remus was painfully aware of time slipping by.

“Do you remember that night on the astronomy tower on Halloween? I said that there’s bound to be someone looking at the moon at the same time?”

It takes Remus a moment to remember, but he does. “Yeah. You said that it’s like you’re not alone.”

Y/N turns around to face him. “Exactly. You don’t have to be alone in this.”

He looked away, deliberating. “It’s one thing for me to be alone but then drag you and others down with me.”

“Remus, I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t scared. I was terrified. I thought that was it.” He gulped. “But I could never be scared of you. The real you - the you right now. I don’t care about what you are. You are more than just a werewolf. I feel safe with you.”

The dark shadows surrounded them as she reiterated herself. “You don’t have to be alone in this.”

He soaks in her words for a while. This time, peering out the window as he breathes in deeply.

Okay. He decided.

“Do you want to know how I got —” he pointed at a scar on his upper forearm. “— this?”

She nodded her head.

“When James turned into his animagus form to show me for the first time, his antlers pierced my skin. I had to lie to Pomfrey and say I fell while playing Quidditch.”

Any invisible barrier between them crashed instantly as she smiled brightly and laughed. So infectious, Remus couldn't help but flash a real grin.

He never realized how beautiful her smile was.

“Oh, and if you ever tell anyone about this place, I’ll skin you.”

“I would never.”

Remus scouted over to her, pressing his back against the cool stone as they sat together in a comfortable stillness. But then she shifted, opening her arms wide. He lent in without hesitation and her arms flung around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace.

He felt salty tears stinging in the corners of his eyes and let himself soak in her warm.

He really needed that.

Over her shoulder, he returned to watch the stars.

9. Acceptance

Remus learned from a young age that it was better to keep people at an arm's length. Get too close, they’ll dig, find out his condition, fear him and run.

He hates to say it, but he’s not surprised that his secret slipped out. He got too comfortable, got too close... It’s just that the Sirius component was surprising.

But maybe it wasn’t surprising. Ever since the beginning of the year, especially since winter break, Sirius had been reckless more and more lately, and he probably should have seen it coming. He was wild as a result of being freed from the confines of his rigid upbringing.

Sirius Black was unpredictable.

Sirius Black was dangerous when it came to secrets.

Sirius Black was one of his best friends.

Sometimes betrayal is so profound that there’s no way to fix what was lost. The damage is done, irreplaceable, unfixable.

If Remus was sure of anything by the end of that week was that,

a) James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were still his best friends,

b) He almost killed Severus Snape and Y/N L/N,

c) Y/N knew his secret and despite everything, continued to talk to him, support him, be there for him — she accepted him,

d) His walls went up a higher, became stronger and insecurities ran deeper,

e) Lastly, Remus Lupin would never, ever forgive Sirius Black for what he did. Never.

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

【 Next Chapter 】

© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost or modify

[moonofthenight]

Skip a Beat

Part One

*

Credit for O’Knutzy goes to @lumosinlove

*

Thank you again, love @spookypotato

*

Same CW’s as before! Enjoy the little “date” ;)

Chapter Three Part Two

The not overthinking didn’t quite work out. He has been standing in front of his wardrobe for the last 10 minutes, thinking about what to wear. He thought about calling June, but that would be too embarrassing and his feet would fall off any minute so he just pulled out his favourite black mom-jeans, a white T-Shirt and threw it on. His hair looked good enough to go out, so he grabbed the gray jeans jacket and his white converse, as well as his keys, wallet and phone before he jogged down the stairs to get into his car.

Sid’s was a 15-minute drive away from his apartment and it looked like the typical Italian restaurant. It was warm inside and soft Italian songs could be heard over the chatter and laughter.

Leo and Logan were already waiting for Finn, sitting at their usual table in the back.  

“Harzy, over here!”

Finn turned at Logan’s voice when he stepped into the restaurant and he could see them waving him over.

“Harzy?”, he said when he was close enough to be heard and slid onto the bench next to Leo.

“We are professional hockey players, don’t expect us to not come up with 100 nicknames”, Leo said, bumping his shoulder playfully.

“You are what now?”

“Oh right, we didn’t tell you. Sometimes I forget there are people that don’t watch ice hockey. Yeah, we play for the Gryffindor Lions. I am a goalie and Logan’s a right wing.”

Finn looked very confused and Logan smiled.

“You have no idea what we are talking about do you?”

Finn shook his head.

“Come to a game with us. Then you will see”, Logan said with a genuine tone in his voice.

“Maybe.”

They ordered their food and drinks- or well, Logan and Leo ordered the food and drinks, both of them insisting to pick for him.

“How come you ended up in Gryff? Your accent sounds different.”

“You have time? It’s going to be a long story.”

Both boys looked at him expectingly. Finn didn’t know why he offered to tell them; he normally didn’t like to talk about it, but something about those two made him trust them.

“Well, I was born and raised in New York, lived there my whole life and it’s where I started dancing. I went to the All Star Studios as a child and eventually started studying Classical Ballet and Dance Performance as well as standard dances and I made my degree.”

“But- ugh, it’s still difficult to talk about it, but I was working too hard. I was at the top of my career and I pushed myself, didn’t listen to my body and as it was bound to happen, I injured myself. Badly. So badly that I needed to give up my career and well, I couldn’t stand to stay in New York, sooo I moved here. Sorry, that was probably not interesting for you.”

Finn’s eyes where everywhere but their faces, he felt a bit ashamed.

“Don’t be silly, we asked. I’m sorry about your injury”, Leo said with such a soft voice it made Finn want to cry.

He was about to respond, but was interrupted by the waiter.

“Alright boys, pizza tonno for all of you.”

Finn waited patiently for it to cool down, driving Leo and Logan mad. He eventually picked up a slice and instantly moaned when he took a bite, causing Logan to choke on his drink.

“Oh my god, this is delicious.”

When he opened his eyes again, both boys looked incredibly smug.

“Told you.”

They ate in silence for a while, enjoying the food. By the time Leo spoke again, the pizza was almost finished.

“You know Lo, we are actually getting better at dancing. I’m looking forward to the wedding.”

“Me too, it’s going to be amazing.”

Logan took Leo’s hand, starring at him lovingly. Finn felt his heart sinking. Wedding.

“Oh, I- congratulations”, Finn pressed out with a tight smile.

Leo’s head snapped towards him.

“What? Oh no, our friends are getting married! Two of the team, you’ll love them.”

And suddenly, Finn felt like he could breathe again. He shouldn’t care, but he did and it was not good.

“Okay who is up for some cocktails?”, Logan said, clapping his hands once.

“Let’s pick one for each other!”

“Oh no”, Finn shook his head rapidly.

“Yes, absolutely.”

Before Finn could protest, Logan waved the waitress over to them.

“I pick one for Finn, Finn you pick for Leo and Leo you can pick for me but make a good choice.”

It was almost adorable what a scene they made out of this. All of them pointed secretly at the drinks, smirking. The waitress gave them a small nod and moved behind the bar.

“Let’s play 20 questions while we wait”, Logan said, looking Finn in the eyes, waggling like a puppy, “We will ask you 10 and you can ask us 10, okay?”

How could Finn say no to that?

“Fine. But I’ll start. How long are you playing for the NHL?”

“I’m only one year in but Lo has been playing for two.”

“So, you two met through hockey?”

“Yes.” Leo grinned, pressing a kiss to Logan’s knuckles.

“Oh, I never asked. How old are you?”

“I’m 24 and Leo is 19, the little baby.”

“Wait. How can you be 19 but be like, twice of Logan’s height?”

If looks could kill, Finn would be dead now, but Leo laughed loudly, throwing his head back, tears making their way over his face.

“Finn, you are on thin ice right now”, he managed to say between his laughter.

It made Finn laugh too and he blew Logan a kiss, who only scoffed in response.

“It’s cute.”

Finn regretted saying it, the warmth creeping up his neck, but Logan just smiled at him.

“Ehm alright, I have three questions in one next. What is your go to work out song, why and what do you normally do while listening to it?”

“I normally just press shuffle on my playlist because I am horrible at making decisions” Leo grinned, answering fast.

Logan thought for a while before giving his answer.

“I would say Guns and Ships from Hamilton because it’s hella motivating. I warm up to it.”

Finn gasped, his eyes starting to shine.

“You like Broadway?”, he practically screamed, getting really excited.

Leo groaned next to him.

“No. Not you too!”

Both heads snapped towards him, looking rather offended by what the blonde had said.

“But it’s so good!” they said in unisono.

Then looked back at each other and high fived over the table.

“Alright, next questions. Do you have siblings and how many do you have?”

Leo was the first to answer again.

“I am an only child but not spoiled! Looking at you Lo.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night. I have three sisters; I love them all.”

Finn nodded, “Okay a difficult one. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?”

“Italy", both said at the same time.

“It’s a bit of a dream of ours.”

“Well, not so difficult as it seems. Last one! Favourite movie?”

“Tough. I’ll go with Aladdin”, Logan said.

“Aladdin?!”

“I grew up with three sisters, what did you expect?!”

Leo shook his head fondly.

“Mine is Pride and Prejudice.”

“Oohh, I love that one.”

Logan slammed his hand on the table.

“Our turn”, he said, grinning excitedly.

“What is your favourite colour?”

“Blue.”

“What did you want to be as a child”, Leo blurred out next.

“A dancer, actually. My grandma took me to the ballet every now and then.”

Leo looked at him, smiling.

“Dog or cat?”

“Dogs. Puppies.”

“You have one right in front of you.”

Leo and Finn laughed at that.

“Do you do anything else besides teaching to dance?”

“I’m studying English literature but just for funsies.”

“Left-handed or right-handed?”

“Right.”

“Do you have a sibling?”

“I do. Alex, he is my older brother. Jesus why are you going through those so fa-“

He was cut off by the waitress for the second time this night.

“Three cocktails for the three gentlemen.”

Finn eyed his one skeptically when it was placed in front of him.

“I’m scared”, he admitted.

“Just drink it!”, Logan grinned wickedly.

He held it up, sniffed it first before taking a sip, starting to cough immediately.

“Logan! For fucks sake. I am a dancer; I don’t drink alcohol! You need to warn me. Fuck, is this gasoline?”

“No, tequila”, Leo laughed.

Logan was unable to breathe, let alone talk. He was bend over, laughing so hard he was nearly wheezing, causing the other two to laugh even more.

-----

Finn went home happy that night, laying in his bed, thinking about Leo’s curls and eyes, and dimples - god those dimples.

But right as he was drifting off to sleep another name popped up in his mind – Logan’s name.

Oh no.

[elleonmybeloved]

For the city of song, wind, and wine, it was a regular occurrence every other month to hold a music competition. Onlookers would gather around the large open space surrounding the statue of Barbatos and anybody above the age of thirteen could compete as follows: perform three songs, one of which had to be an original composition, solo in front of the audience. There was no limit to the number of instruments one could use, but since the rule was for solo performance only, it was unusual to see the use of more than one instrument.

The prize was 10,000 mora, 3 free meals from Good Hunter, and a commemorative feather artifact meant to honor the wind archon. There was of course, clout associated with the victory however, so naturally all the bards in the city of Mondstadt competed fiercely for the victory.

Lumine had the pleasure of finding out about the competition as a result of trying to buy some mint and honey and being told by Blanche that she would likely be out of stock by eight a.m. every day for the next week and a half. Mint tea with honey was one of the best ways to soothe the throat, so the city’s bards were snatching it off the shelves and shutting themselves in to compose and practice their songs without risking anybody hearing and ruining the impact of their performance.

For the young woman, it meant no sticky honey roast, radish veggie soup, calla lily seafood soup... unless she felt like picking it herself or going to Liyue just to buy some. And she sure as hell wasn’t about to attempt finding and messing with a bee hive in the wild. Unintentionally acquired powers of wind or not.

At the moment though, Amber was taking it harder than she was.

“Ugh I totally forgot that the Good Hunter doesn’t sell sticky honey roast this week because of the competition... I was totally looking forward to a nice hot plate of sweet ham after all the hilichurls I had to chase off the roads today too.”

“Why not have a sweet madame instead?” Lumine suggested. “It’s basically the same thing.”

Amber gawks at her. “How can you say that? See, this is what makes it so obvious you’re not from around here. Everybody knows the taste of those two dishes are not even remotely similar to each other.”

She’s teasing, it’s obvious from the exaggerated shock and pout of her lip, but something about what she said makes the neutral smile slip from Lumine’s face.

“Hey, if you think about it, she’s right you know!” Paimon comes to Lumine’s defense. “One ingredient is sugar, and the other is meat!”

“You eat slimes.” Amber says. “On purpose. Sorry but that automatically disqualifies you from giving culinary advice.”

“Wait a minute. On purpose? That implies a story I think I’d very much like to hear.” She turns to see Kaeya walking up behind them, a bag of something in his hands. It seems he had been shopping. And eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Oh no, there’s nothing like that.” Amber waves her hand in a nonchalant motion that would be convincing if she could lie with her face as well.

“Mmhm, sure.” He says with that smirk that never seems to leave his face.

“I should get going.” Lumine says, cutting off Amber’s reply before she can open her mouth. Once these two get started they can really argue, and she doesn’t have the time or energy to stick around for that. Especially when Charles made a deal with her to probe customers for info on her brother if she could find and bring back all of the lost business records that had been spewed from the tavern during the storm.

“Okay, see ya later!” Amber says with a salute.

“Yes, run along now.” Kaeya makes a shooing gesture.

The sun is setting by the time she is looking for the last one, hasty now that the natural light is fading. She had found some on the roof of all places, and she had all but scoured the ground, so here she was looking down dusty chimneys and clinging to the roof tiles like a squirrel every time the wind made her spook.

“Gotta be around here somewhere.” She mumbles to herself. Paimon had since gotten hungry and was presumably out eating, or looking for something to eat.

It’s a bit of a habit to use her elemental sight when searching for something, even though there wouldn’t be any traces she knows of on the documents. That’s how she ends up seeing it. At the top of the windmill, bright teal anemo energy, leaking out from the door and window in a slow trickle. Above the window, papers, caught in the gear that connects the wooden support to the spinning white blades of the mill.

“Aha.” Those must be the documents. Lumine gets a running start off the roof of the house and launches herself in the air. Thank the stars for the wind crystal Venti gave her- with a whoosh it pushes her up and gives her the altitude necessary to skip what would’ve been a sketchy climb up the curved wooden wall of the mill. Below her, she sees a young woman at the base of the mill reading and writing something in a notebook, and prays she doesn’t look up. Sure she has her license but it would still be embarrassing to be seen. Or asked questions of.

Landing with a modicum of grace, she very carefully steps across the roof tiles over to where the papers are stuck. It takes a bit of gentle wiggling but they come loose, and she puts them in her pack.

No sooner had she buttoned the flap than had the door to the balcony below her slammed open, and a “Who’s there?!” startle the absolute daylights out of her.

Lumine looses her footing.

She doesn’t hear the “oh crap” someone says because she is falling with a panicked shout, but before she can even open her glider wings, she’s being gently floated through the air. Wind carries her back up and places her gently down on the floor of the balcony. Standing above her with a distressed look on his face, Venti abandons his lyre to rush over and pat her in several places, checking for injuries.

“Oh no, are you okay? I swear I didn’t mean to make you fall!”

“I’m fine.” She says breathlessly. Behind them the door is open and there’s a small room filled with straw, crates, and some random items strewn about.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, hands still patting at her, blue eyes wide. “I didn’t even know it was you, traveler.”

“I’m okay.” She gets to her feet. In the room there is paper strewn about everywhere like a tornado hit. “...What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He casts a glance down and behind her. “But not out here.”

He scoots back inside the room and motions at her to come in. Curious, she does so. He closes and locks the door behind him.

“So...” She prompts.

“So,” He says, “You found me! Good job. How’d you do it?”

“Uh, what do you mean found you? I wasn’t looking for you.”

“You weren’t?” He looks genuinely surprised to hear this.

“I was looking for some tavern documents blown away in the storm, I found them on the roof.” She explains. “Why would I be looking for you?”

“Heheh.” Venti laughs nervously instead of answering. “Oh! I see!”

“What’s with all the papers?” They are seriously everywhere. Lumine knows him well enough to know he’s not the scholarly type.

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“... Okay. Never mind then.”

“Just kidding!” He’s quick to quip when she doesn’t get the joke. “But it is a secret so if you want to know you have to swear you won’t tell a soul!”

“I swear.” She says curiously. “Aren’t I already keeping one of your secrets well?”

“That you are.” He nods. “Very well. I’m in the middle of composing a new song. And practicing my other one.”

He announces it with a lot of weight, like it’s something super important and not exactly the type of thing she would expect a bard to say.

“And that’s a secret because?”

“A new song to use in the upcoming music competition. Surely you’ve heard of it? It’s a new tradition most people in Mondstadt know about.”

“Oh, that. Yeah I have heard. It’s why I can’t buy any mint or honey for the next week or so.”

“That’s right! I have some though, do you want some?”

“No, it’s okay.” Seemed like he needed it more anyways. “Is it going okay though?” She refers to the papers strewn willy nilly.

“Sort of.” He says, absentmindedly plucking at his lyre. “I’ve got my first song down, it’s one of the old ones from a few hundred years ago called Lion Heart, a ballad about the bravery of the great hero Venessa.”

“Who?”

Venti’s eyes go wide. “Who’s Venessa? You mean you haven’t heard of her? She’s the most famous hero in Mondstadt’s history.”

“... Not from around here.” She says. “Not really familiar with history yet.”

“Wanna hear the story? I have several songs you can choose from that tell it.”

“Hmm. Will it cost me?”

“Ahahaha! Of course not. For you Lumine, my performances are always free.”

“Okay then.” His enthusiastic smile is contagious, and although Lumine has no interest in Teyvat’s history beyond what could be relevant in finding Aether, she can’t help returning it with one of her own as she takes a seat on the floor.

The next hour is spent regaling her of the tales of a young woman whom she could not forget was a redhead even if she tried. Venti’s voice is beautiful, and he sings with such reverence and fervent adoration of this hero that she almost suspects a deeper relationship existed than that of the sung supporting role of Barbatos in this historic rebellion.

“You must really admire Venessa.” She says after clapping and giving a small smile at his formal bow.

“Everybody does.” He says with a shrug. “She was something special.”

Something squeezes hollowly in her chest.

“Now that I think of it, she’s the one Jean mentioned when she got sick from overworking and I had to help out.” Lumine pulls forward the relevant memory, blocking out the strange aching feeling. “She must have been a force to be reckoned with to make Jean feel inferior.”

“I could sing her praises forever.” A rare seriousness passes over Venti’s face. “So brave. Fiery hair like a flame that would never die out.”

Lumine has never seen a woman with red hair. It must be rare in Teyvat. It must be considered very beautiful.

“What about the other song?”

“Ehe, right, the other song. That is, the one that I’m composing. Well I’m not having much luck. But I think you could help me.”

“Me?” She asks. “What can I do?”

“Tell me about your most recent adventures.” He replies. “For inspiration.”

Lumine is flattered. “Wait, you’re writing a song about me- my adventures?” It’s kind of embarrassing to say from the pure self importance it assumes but she is sure she hasn’t misunderstood him.

“Heheh. Would you like that?” He’s rubbing the back of his neck. Lumine forgets about redheads.

“It’s a little embarrassing.” She claps her hands together in her lap, feeling warm. “What are you going to say?”

“Nothing weird, don’t worry!” He’s quick to say. “Nothing private either.” He’s probably talking about the unknown god and the loss of her powers.

“It’s fine with me.” Lumine acquiesces. “Just don’t get carried away. I don’t want a bad reputation.”

“It’s not that kind of song.” Venti is quick to assure her. “It’s uhhh... well, you’ll find out.”

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“And ruin the surprise? Heheh, nah, you’re just going to have to wait and hear it when everybody else does.”

Before she can say anything in response, she covers a yawn. It must be well into the night by now.

“Oh, you must be getting tired. Sorry for keeping you so long. Didn’t you need to go do something? I totally forgot about that.”

So had she.

“It’s okay. I do need to get going now though.” She says it with a sigh, getting up to leave. “Good night... and good luck with your song.”

Venti beams like the sun. “Thanks! I have a feeling it’s going to go just swimmingly now. Good night!”

Leaving the room feels like re-entering the world as the lights and sounds of the city surround her once more. Funny, despite the music, it had felt so quiet in there. Like they were the only two people for miles.

Weird.

[greycappedjester]

hi! i’m the person who asked how hq@hp characters would react to the fourth wall being broken, and i meant it in like how they would react to them being in a fanfic/story in general? sorry for not being more specific originally!

Ahh, gotcha!

You know what, I think I'm going to answer with a scene if that's alright.

(takes place during some unspecific time in pre or during Triwizard Tournament)

-------

Bokuto hummed happily under his breath, folding yet another parchment paper and completely ignoring the fact that it was supposed to be his Arithmancy homework.

The rest of the table was chaos--but, that was really nothing new.

"Focus." Suga stabbed Oikawa's shoulder with a quill, "and tell me about airplanes."

"Ow!" Oikawa complained. "I don't know--they just fly!"

Suga scribbled in his Muggle Studies notes. "Is it a charm or runes?"

"It's...physics?"

Suga stared.

"Physics is what Muggles call gravity," Kuroo explained. "They practice it with dropping apples and stuff."

Oikawa squinted. "Not really...."

Suga was already writing.

"What about cassette tapes--is that the same as VCR," Suga questioned, utterly serious, and Oikawa swore his soul momentarily left his body as it did every time Suga asked to help him prep for Muggle Studies.

So, Oikawa did what he did best.

He pointed to Iwaizumi. "Ask Iwa-chan, he grew up in the Muggle world, too."

Suga waved a hand. "He's busy."

Iwaizumi watched Bokuto, brows furrowed and entirely concentrated. "Seriously, for Merlin's sake, how are you so good at those?"

Bokuto shrugged, lifting his hands and a perfectly formed origami bird lifted off the library table flying daintily in the air. "It's easy, isn't it?"

The bird landed smoothly on the pile of Iwaizumi's misshapen things that could possibly look like birds if someone had ornithophobia.

"Ugh," Oikawa whined, "no, cassettes are music, VCR does movies. Well, I mean it used to back in like the 90s before--" His head shot up. "Wait! Important question: Wizards have movies, right?"

Bokuto tilted his head. "Movies?"

Oikawa groaned. "No, no, this is the worst day of my liiiiiiifeeee."

"Don't be dramatic," Iwaizumi said like he wasn't cursing at a blank sheet of parchment that refused to be a wing. "They're moving pictures that do stories."

Kuroo snorted. "We have moving pictures."

"No, like--," Oikawa's head hit the table. "It's different! Like plays! No, how am I ever going to have a movie of my life if you don't even have movies. This is terrible!"

"Who'd want a play about your life." Kuroo poked at him.

"Ah, excuse you, my life is fantastic and prime entertainment. The children of the future are being deprived right now, you don't even know."

Kuroo snorted. "Sure. A play about us would be the most boring thing in existence."

"Who said you'd be in it?" Oikawa stuck out his tounge.

Kuroo winked. "Sex appeal."

"Oh, fuck off!"

Suga leaned back, quill tapping on the paper. "I don't know. I think a play-- "

"Movie,"Oikawa corrected.

"A movie about us," Suga continued, "might work. We do enough interesting things, don't we?" A grimace. "I mean granted a few I'd rather not talk about...everything about the petrification, for instance."

"It could have Quidditch," Bokuto said brightly.

"Only you and Kuroo even play," Iwaizumi said, the paper in front of him somehow taking the shape of a lion rather than a bird. "Seriously?!"

"So, some of Quidditch--sure," Kuroo said. "Then, a bunch of other stuff we can't even talk about. What's left?"

"We're the Investigator's Club," Oikawa protested. "We literally save this entire castle every bloody year. It's insane." He frowned. "Honestly, we should really have a medal or something, by now. At least get paid. What do the professors even do beside teach us?

"Somehow I don't think responding to mortal peril was in their job description," Suga deadpanned.

"It's Hogwarts."

Suga conceded the point.

"No, guys, listen," Kuroo said, "I'm telling you a story about us would be more boring than weeding for gnomes. Yeah, cool, we help at the end--," He blinked. "Wait, for troll's sake, why does shit always go down at the end of the year?!"

"Cinematic timing," Oikawa argued.

"Whatever that means." Kuroo shook his head. "Anyway, not the point. What would they even show before that. Us reading?" He waved a hand around him. "Us hanging out at the library and talking? Getting bloody paper cuts researching stuff?"

"Classes," Iwaizumi added halfheartedly. The paper lion--that was still supposed to be a bird--let out a small growl and Iwaizumi gave it up as finished.

They all made a face.

"No one wants to watch a play about people going to school," Kuroo said.

"Mhmm," Oikawa tapped his chin. "Okay, you make a good point."

"Maybe not a movie or a play." Suga paused. "Oh, what about a book?"

The group looked at each other.

"No way!"

"Absolutely not!"

"That would be the dullest thing ever!"

[emerald-amidst-gold]

Ohh maybe 1, 2, 3, and 28? 👀

*takes a sip from my can of soda* Ahhh~! Caffeine for the soul~ >:3

But you know what's better for the soul? Questions! Curiosity! RAMBLING ABOUT CHILDREN! >:D Let's GOOOO!

1. What would your Warden generally think of your Hawke and your inquisitor?

Rylen: 

Now, I kind of see Elise eventually meeting or at least, reaching out to Rylen after the events in Kirkwall. After all, she’s an Amell, and so is Hawke. They’re literally the only family each other has (that’s not ‘found’ family, that is.). So, I think Elise would reach out through a letter or somehow manage a visit to her cousin and...connect. She would see him as inspiring; Rylen always manages a smile and a quip. However, if they were to spend more and more time interacting with each other, Elise would see that Hawke isn’t very well put together, especially after the Chantry explosion. She would question why Rylen chose the templars, why he executed Anders who was a like a brother to her, but eventually she would come to understand the whys. Elise would see it as no different as when she decided to spare Loghain at the Landsmeet; they did what they believed to be right and what would be best in that very moment. Both Rylen and Elise sacrificed their own happiness for the benefit of others, and were still blamed for future complications and there’s something comforting in a finding another who can relate. :3

Fane:

So, I actually have some later fic ideas for a confrontation between Elise and Fane (after Trespasser, kind of Pre-DA4 shenanas~), and suffice it to say, these two have similar ways of thinking, but their methods are entirely different. Fane is rash, prone to barreling head first into conflict without thinking about those around him. Elise is analytical, always assessing and placing the pieces in her head to make sure everyone comes out alive. This isn’t to say Fane doesn’t care about his comrades; he does. There’s countless, countless times he takes a blow for someone else without batting an eye or thinking that he could die. He just doesn’t plan; he acts. Fane can get lost in the moment of battle, in the heady scent of chaos and blood. Elise, at first meeting him, would see him as any typical warrior; eager for battle and a garden of death. But if they were to sit down and talk...I think she might find him endearing and fascinating. More or less she would think, ‘He’s so mature for someone so young. I mean, he’s twenty-four, but...he speaks as if he’s older. His speech is manicured, measured as if decided upon carefully. And his eyes...there’s pain, a deep, deep pain. Like some of the older Wardens, those just hearing the Calling. But also...hope? Conviction? Who are you, Inquisitor? What has the world done to you?’

2. What would your Hawke generally think of your warden and your Inquisitor?

Elise:

Rylen would probably have the same opinion of Elise as she does with him. They’re family, split apart due the misconceptions and fear, and my Hawke cherishes family. He lost everyone else he could rightly consider family. Fenris, Varric, Sebastian, Isabela, and Merrill are the only people he can call family now. (Anders and Aveline are complicated. I won’t go into that can of worms. For now~ >:3) He would definitely feel a level of guilt for what he had to do in Kirkwall with Anders, with the mages, with...everything, but Rylen just tries to make it through another day. If he and Elise started to interact I think it would be extremely beneficial to Rylen. Elise is patient, sometimes stern, and not afraid to lay all the facts out. Rylen would admire that since he’s had to go through life wearing a mask, a smile, a facade just to placate someone else. He would see Elise as another sister and his opinion of her would probably be along the lines of, ‘I won’t let another member of my family be torn from me. Father, Bethany, Carver...Mother.. I failed them. I won’t fail her. I won’t fail her. She’s bright and she keeps her head held high. Heh, now I see how she killed an Archdemon and lived to tell the tale. ...Bet the lightning has something to do with that, too.’

Fane: 

Rylen and Fane, in my head, actually hit it off from the get go. They’ve both had to take mantles of power, even though they never, never wanted to. Though, for different reasons, of course. But Rylen would find Fane inspiring and wholly capable of doing what must be done. He’d be kind of put off that most of his well thought out jokes and pokes would fall flat on Fane, but eventually, Rylen would see why that is. (Draconic nature withstanding.) Also, once my Hawke found out Fane is dragon?  OHHHH, BUDDY. There would be yelling and screeching and cries of, ‘WHY DO I KEEP MEETING DRAGONS, FENRIS?! FIRST THE WITCH, NOW THE INQUISITOR?! ..I’m done. I’m putting my daggers down and stealing away into the mountains. Varric, you wanna come with? I know you’re fed up with this shit, too! Don’t lie! DON’T. LIE.’

3. What would your Inquisitor generally think of your warden and your Hawke?

Elise:

Fane would probably think of Elise as...interesting. Not in a bad way. Just...interesting. Fane isn’t comfortable with Wardens after Adamant. He learns that he can hear the corruption inside of them and that terrifies him. And confuses him. And makes him go, ‘What the fuck am I? I don’t even know anymore. Why do I try?’ But, if he were to get over that and, like I said with Elise, talk? He would have another perspective of the men and women that had let fear take them by the throat. It wouldn’t change his feelings regarding the Wardens entirely, but one level mind, one open mind, is enough to make Fane tap into his nature and consider other sides of a very, very large cube.

‘She’s more...quiet than the others. Maybe because it’s just her? No...Loghain was still loud as fuck when it was just him, so why? Ugh, I’m so sick of these puzzles. At least she’s more stable, but I can see the pain in her eyes; green like mine, but missing the gold. Maybe the Taint is stronger than she thinks? Perhaps, but still she fights, still she claws her way towards something that may be impossible. ...Hmph. How typical. A similarity. This world continues to confound.’

Rylen:

Fane respects Rylen after spending some time to feel him out, know his cues, and piece together which is his actual face. Once that happens, Fane can move into respect with my Hawke. These two have a fairly similar moral compass; pragmatism regarding most decisions. Again, they both have been thrust into a position without asking for it, so that would be a stepping stone upon the bonding path. All in all, Fane’s general opinion of Rylen would be, ‘He’s worn that mask of smiles and bright, grey eyes for too long. It’s cracking at the edges, wearing down to mere mortar. Then again, I have my own mask. I’m in no position to judge and condemn, but...it’s worrying. Even the strongest wings can be torn and all that greets is the earth below. I hope your wings don’t falter, Champion. It would be disappointing for the world to lose someone who cares when those who should are content to point the finger towards anyone but themselves.’

28. What is their favourite location within their own game and what would be their favourite in each others?

Fane: The Emprise du Lion! Snowwwww! Coooold! Ice dragooooon! >:3 ...minus the red lyrium. *snorts* 

Origins: Hmm, I think Fane would like the Brecilian Forest. He enjoys forests as much as he enjoys the cold, the ice, and the snow. He likes the animals, even though he tries not to interfere with them, and he likes the quiet. No chattering, no demands. Only trees, leaves, and the occasional whistle of wind. Also, Fane likes to investigate ancient ruins. He’s not interested in the history, really. He just wants to see if he can find any remnants about his kin that the elves may have left behind. :3

DA2: Probably Sundermount since again, wilderness. Fane doesn’t do too well in crowded areas and Kirkwall would make his heart rate sky rocket. Not just because of the people, but because of the size. Those cramped streets of Lowtown would just make him...eugh. *shivers*

Elise: She adores Orzammar! Especially the Shaperate! The dwarves fascinate Elise since not many tomes in the Circle went into depth about them! :D And if we want to with Awakening areas, I would saaaay...Amaranthine. She’s always like towns and cities due to not being able to experience them until the Blight! :3

Inquisition: Elise would adore the Frostback Basin. Like, really enjoy it! All that flora and Avaar culture and wilderness? MMMM!

DA2: Definitely the Wounded Coast. Hands down. My daughter enjoys the sea so much. The salt in the air, the feel of sand, and the pretty, pretty shells and rolling waves? Every Circle mages’ wet dream. *waggles eyebrows*

Rylen: So, if we’re not talking like open world areas in the game, I would definitely say Rylen’s favorite place is the Hanged Man. The man needs a drink to deal with Kirkwall. Just saying. It’s also where he can just...be himself with the people who know him. 

Inquisition: Hinterlands. He’s a FERELDAN. He wants his MABARI to RUN in native land! He wants to...go home. ;3;

Origins: I like to think the Hawke family went all over Ferelden before settling in Lothering. I mean, they kind of do, but maybe for more than a few months at a time? So, Rylen would enjoy Denerim. He likes to go where people are, where life is. He likes crowds because he can blend into them and not be tracked down until he wants to be tracked down. ...My Hawke just wants to live in peace with his glowy elf husband and run a mabari ranch. Is that too much to ask, Bioware?! Let Hawke REST!

Woo! That was FUN! It really got me thinking, too! X3 Thank you so much, friend! <3

[beyondtheborderridiculous]

4th Anniversary The Key To Daydreaming: Summer’s Door Part 1

It’s been a while since I’ve done event translations. Since this hasn’t been translated yet, I decided to pick it up.

Next

Izumi: I wonder if this key is the key to some room.

Izumi: (If it’s the key to someone’s room, the person who dropped it will troubled. I must find the owner soon…)

*wings flutter*

Kamekichi: I found a good one!

Izumi: Huh? Kamekichi?

Izumi: (He came out of that door over there just now. That room’s… Tenma-kun and Yuki-kun’s room?)

Izumi: (It’s kind of unusual for Kamekichi to be coming out of their room)

Izumi: ? Something’s stuck on the door.

Izumi: It says “unlocked,” but… I wonder what this is.

Izumi: Anyways, let’s ask those two about this key.

*door opens*

Koga: “It’s not here… not here!”

Kikukawa: “So noisy… What the heck are you going on about?”

Koga: “It must’ve been just while ago! It was definitely stolen by a bird just now…"

Izumi: (Eh? Are they both wearing their mixed performance costumes?)

Izumi: (Is it a costume adjustment or something? But this atmosphere… maybe it’s an etude training.)

Kikukawa: “So what’s stolen?” 

Koga: “…A necklace. I took it off for just a moment, and now it’s gone.”

Kikukawa: “Is that so? Well, birds do like bright things.”

Kikukawa: “It’s going to be hard to find that. Just give up and look for something new.”

Koga: “I was planning on wearing that to an upcoming outside show…!”

Koga: “Can you easily find an alternative?”

Kikukawa: “You shouldn’t have brought such an important thing to school.”

Koga: “Ugh… I thought I’d get used to the feeling of wearing it!”

Izumi: (He’s talking about a show. Well, after all this is an etude of Koga and Kikukawa.)

Koga: “Anyways, it’s an important necklace!”

Koga: “I’ll definitely find that bird and make to get it back.”

Kikukawa: “Can you fly? I don’t think it’ll be easy to find.”

Koga: “Shut up…!”

Izumi: (It seems like I’m watching the usual exchange between Tenma-kun and Yuki-kun, instead of Koga and Kikugawa)

Izumi: (As expected of Tsuzuru-kun, who wrote them)

Kikukawa: “Hm? You there, you haven’t seen… are you a student here?

Izumi: Eh? Me?

Kikukawa: “Yea. Are you here for someone?”

Koga: “Maybe me? If you want to hear tips on how to walk as a model, you can learn it from me.”

Izumi: Uuh…

Izumi: (I didn’t except them to talk to me. What should I do…” 

Izumi: (! Right, let’s ask about the key.)

Izumi: Um, actually, I picked up a lost item.

???: Garururu…

Izumi: !?

Izumi: Ju-Just now, this voice…!

Kikukawa: “Huh? Come to think of it, today there’s an unfamiliar event. The arrival of a circus.”

Koga: “Aa, is that so.”

Izumi: (Why is there suddenly a circus group in this setting!?)

Kikukawa: “Well, circus costumes and shows can be references for designs.”

Koga: “Are you planning on doing a fashion show collaboration with a circus?”

Kikukawa: “It might be good. It seems interesting to think about costumes for dancers and clowns.”

Kikukawa: “Clothes with a circus motif are also unique.” 

Koga: “Well, walking on the runway with a clown or a lion may be novel.”

Kikukawa: “I wonder…”

Izumi: Ahaha…

Koga: “Maybe you have something to do there too?”

Izumi: No, that’s not the case…

Kikukawa: “The circus troupe is over there. If you exit here, you’ll see it right away.”

Izumi: Eh? Wa-Wait!?

Koga: “See you later.”

Izumi: (I was kicked out of the room without them telling me… I wonder what that was.)

Izumi: After all, I didn’t even get an answer about the key.

???: Garururu…

Izumi: …

Izumi: (You can hear that cry in the next door room 202…)

Izumi: Anyways, I’ll go check it out.

[xxmyhomexx]

Hazbin Hotel: The Club

This is my first story based on a new series that caught my interest, Hazbin Hotel. I haven’t watched it all, but I like the idea of Charlie and Alastor. And this is AU, meaning it has no revelation to the series! Enjoy :)

~~~

Charlie’s black eyes danced uneasily through the waves of people on the dancefloor. It was another stressful day at the Hazbin Hotel, and after feeling overwhelmed with such somewhat of a poor start, Vaggie and Angel Dust decided she needed a night out in Pentagram City. Dark Abyss, a new club that just opened, was the place they settled on, even though Charlie was against it as it was the weekend and there were still many things to prepare for Hazbin.

Despite her protests, here she was now sitting at the bar watching Vaggie and Angel Dust swinging their arms and twirling their hips to the loud music the DJ played in his booth. She shifted one leg over the other and pulled the skirt of her black sleeveless cocktail dress down when it shifted upward, exposing her long white legs. She tucked a strand of hair that fell from her braided bun behind her ear, tapping one of her kitten heels nervously on the floor.

Why was this a good idea again, she asked herself mentally. Clubbing was not her scene, and although she always loved a good drink once in awhile, dancing and wasted brought a bad taste to her mouth. She remembered for her birthday, Vaggie and Angel surprised her with a day out at a casino, and the night ended with them forcing her arms over their shoulders so she could actually stand in her room at Hazbin.

“Ugh,” she shuttered. “Never again.” 

“What can I get you, my beauty?” a black male spider-demon with four arms caught her attention. She saw two arms handing out drinks to other demons while the other two carried a pen and note pad.

“Uh...I’m sorry, I’m not in a drinking mood tonight. Perhaps something fruity and nonalcoholic?”

“One strawberry mocktail coming right up!” the spider demon smiled at her showing a row of red pointed fangs. “And uh, don’t worry about payment, pretty thing. It’s already on the house.”

“Really? That’s so sweet of you!” Charlie smiled.

“Sorry, honey, I wish it were me, but the owner actually beat me to it. He’s sitting right beside ya.”

Charlie tilted her head and swiveled in her seat, gasping and almost falling out when she noticed an all-too-familiar radio demon downing a shot of liquor beside her. Alastor, one of the most powerful demons in Hell, gifted her a sharp-tooth smile while adjusting his monocle above his right eye. Instead of a red suit and bowtie, Alastor opted for a more casual approach. Charlie’s red cheeks reddened deeper at his half-sleeve white collared shirt, tan khakis, and brown loafers. He didn’t remind her of the bartering demon who promised to help her with Hazbin, he appeared a total stranger.

His red eyes danced on her like a lion ready to pounce on its prey. His ears perked up and his antlers grew three inches in size as soon as Charlie spotted him. His radio-like laugh boomed in her ears as he rested his chin in his hand, tapping a finger against his cheek fondly.

“You and your friends enjoying your evening, my dear?”

“Alastor,” Charlie regained her composure. “You’re the owner?”

“A demon can enjoy pleasuring others without devouring souls, darling. And of course I am! Welcome to Dark Abyss, Charlotte Magne!” 

He jumped out of his seat and wrapped one arm around her, addressing the business around them. Demons tapped glasses together, and Vaggie and Angel Dust were busy conversing with strangers. Angel Dust caught the attention of a random orange wolf-demon while Vaggie was laughing with two other girls. Charlie groaned as Alastor raised her fruity mocktail to her lips, urging her to have a drink.

“It’s ok, Charlie,” he tilted his head as the demon princess gulped. “Relax, my dear. You don’t have to be drunk to have fun, child.” 

Charlie’s body went rigid in his arms as he leaned the glass closer to her mouth, parting her lips so she could take a few sips. The taste of strawberries was tarte and desiring on her tongue, running all the way down her throat when she took another swig. Alastor chuckled as he handed her her drink, his eyes observing her when she threw her head back to finish it all. Her curves danced out on her dress, and he could see her eyes were painted with light coats of mascara and winged eyeliner. Her face was round and poised with her hair back, a snicker leaving his throat. 

“Wow, that was good!” Charlie laughed. “Thank you for the drink, Alastor.” 

“No problem, darling,” Alastor scratched his chin. “Charlie...am I sensing...insecurity?” 

Charlie’s smile faded at the word “insecurity.” What the hell did he mean by that? After opening Hazbin, her hard work wasn’t exactly met with praise and commercial success. Katy Killjoy humiliated her on the news after her song, and almost the entire town mocked her and her friends. It was almost enough to bring her spirits even lower, and without her parents, it felt she was alone if it hadn’t been for Vaggie and Angel Dust. The demon princess clutched her glass tighter in her hands, turning away from Alastor and frowning. Even when her mother couldn’t answer her phone, she always left her daughter voicemails of encouragement and lighthearted notes.

And on top of the stress, clubbing wasn’t really much of a scene for her. She thought a nice night in her room or making rounds in the hotel were another way of destressing, a huge contrast from Angel Dust and Vaggie’s idea of fun. Alastor sensed her sadness and harrumphed, tilting her chin with a lift of his index finger to direct her attention back to him. Charlie gasped when she was suddenly pinned between the bar and the radio demon, a demonic purr emanating from his lungs.

“Let loose, Charlie,” Alastor urged her. “Have fun.”

He took her hand and lead her through the crowd of dancers until they were in the middle of the floor. Charlie’s chest grew heavy and images played in her mind, imagining the distasteful looks and angry eyes of partygoers. They were judging her, no! She couldn’t live with the rejection. She shut her eyes tight until Alastor’s hands massaged her shoulders, his head burying into the crook of her neck until his breath was hot in her ear. 

“Relax, sweetie,” he assured her. “They’re not looking at you.” 

One arm wrapped around her and brought her closer, her chest pressing against her back and his hands sliding down her front until they were planted on her waist. He started rocking his hips back and forth, his hands urging her hips to move in motion. Charlie rested her head against his muscular chest and did just that, running her fingers up Alastor’s arms until her hands were wrapped around his neck. She closed her eyes and smiled as she grinded against him, bucking herself against him. Alastor groaned and twirled her around, sliding his hands down her back.

Charlie’s legs started to kick, and Alastor smiled at her. She ran her hands through her hair, untying her braided bun and letting her long locks fall over her shoulders. he threw her hair back as the music took to her soul, her hair fanning around her as Alastor backed up slowly to watch her dance.

Every shift of her leg, every twirl of her hips, his gaze was on her. Charlie’s skirt fanned before her as she spun on her toes, a huge smile on her lips. Alastor growled and grabbed her again, dipping her in his arms close to the floor before helping her up in a bow. One of Charlie’s legs wrapped around his waist, and Alastor leaned forward just inches from her face.

“Charlie,” his voice cut deep. “You’re beautiful.”

“Take me away, Alastor,” Charlie wrapped her arms around his neck to hoist herself up. “Just you and me.”

“What about your friends?” Alastor challenged. “You know how protective Vaggie is with you.”

“They can take care of themselves,” Charlie insisted. “I just want you.”

Alastor hissed and widened his already huge grin. “As the lady wishes.”

~~~

Alastor locked the door to the VIP room and flipped on the light, a huge couch surrounding two tables. Charlie watched as he sauntered to the main seat, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back, motioning the demon princess towards him. Charlie gulped and her legs began to shake when she started to amble towards him. Her weight caught up with her when she stopped in front of him, shifting nervously at what to do. 

“You’re beautiful,” Alastor ran his fingers through her hair. “Even after seeing you on that picture show.”

“Ugh!” Charlie grunted when he flung her on her on the couch, straddling her like a cat. The cool black leather chilled her bare back, or maybe it was Alastor’s fingers sliding up her curves. Charlie gasped and arched her back when they rested on her chest. Alastor caught the front zipper between his thumb and index finger, jingling it for some time.

“Ah-ah, Charlie,” he eased her on the couch. “You’re mine. And tonight...I get to do whatever I want.” 

Her eyes darted when he dragged it down slowly and painfully, exposing her lingerie. She sat up so she could help him out of it, sliding it to the floor until she felt bare. It killed Alastor to see her in all black, dangerously licking his lips. He knelt on the floor and unstrapped her kitten heels, tossing them to the side before climbing on top of her. Charlie groaned when he started to rid himself of his own clothing, first his shirt followed by his pants. 

She had no idea that a radio demon could look this sexy. His six-pack and biceps stood out, and when he ran a hand through his hair, she was about done for. She suddenly felt exposed, almost covering herself before Alastor grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head making her yelp.

“No covering yourself!” he warned her, his eyes flashing dangerously. His glare rocked Charlie’s nerves, only turning her on more. Nodding, Charlie closed her eyes and surrendered herself to Alastor’s demands. He kissed her deeply, interlacing his fingers in between hers. He parted her lips with his tongue, exploring her mouth thoroughly and decisively. Charlie moaned when he pulled away and worked his lips across her jaw and down her throat.

“Alastor!” she gasped. He started to kiss his way down her ridgeline, hands kneading at every single sensitive area he could find. His fingers payed extra special attention, amused at hearing her yelps and whimpers. After he was finished, he kissed his way down her navel. 

“Oh no!” Charlie gasped, arching her back. This torture was doing it in for her, and she just wanted him now. She rolled her hips to his, silently begging him to end his reign of terror. Alastor ignored her quiet please as he pecked at her ribs and trailed his teeth across each ridge, causing the princess to grate her teeth.

“You’re quite sensitive here, aren’t you?” Alastor whispered.

“Alastor...p-please...” Charlie begged. 

“Please what, princess?”

“Ugh...um...I...” 

“Sssshhh,” Alastor caressed her lips with the tip of his finger and smiled. “Good girl.”

He closed the distance between them and that was it. Soon, Alastor collapsed on top of her, his chest lowering and rising. He cradled Charlie in his arms, both exhausted but happy in their blissful moment. 

“You’re mine now, Charlotte Magne,” Alastor cupped her face and smiled kindly. “You beautiful woman.”

“I love you, Alastor.”

“Not as much as I you, princess.” 

Charlie kissed him and her fate was sealed. 

[william-nylander]

having a very rough day, do you have anymore top willy moments to gift us?

i am so sorry u are having a rough day pebble. i decided to go a bit rogue with this, in that it is instead a Top Willy Interviews On the Leafs Youtube Page listicle. i hope it makes ur day a teeny bit better.

idk if you’ve ever been to toronto BUT this look is very like. like this willy lives in the junction and hates the “noise” of the downtown and has waited 2 hours in line for bangbang ice cream in august. he likes to smoke weed in trinity bellwoods. he goes to poetry readings on bar roof tops and says shit about how everything north of dupont is “north york”. hes been known to sit at the piano in the common room at university college (uoft) and play scales. he can and has fucked ur boyfriend.

this willyum is your coworker at canadas wonderland one summer. he does not know what hes doing. he is either like :| or like :D depending on the moment. his nose gets sunburnt at the beginning of the summer but only ever in a charming way!!! u never see it peel. he works the stuffed animal stands and cannot understand why his has a line and none of the others do (hint: its bc every1 has a crush on him!!!!). before the park opens he wanders around with one of those velcro monkeys around his neck. he likes the mindbuster the best bc thats MY favourite ride and this is my listicle. 

also i miss willys gigantic front teeth gap. he used to have little tombstone teeth. what has he done to them. 

hey i love kyle dubas with my whole heart and all but there was something to be said about how when lou made them all be clean shaven and hair short it meant that willys hair was always kinda like a dragon ball z character and also his skin was all fleshy and elastic like a babys arm 

speaking of kyle dubas i found this choice shot of willy blinking while kyles prattling on about nothing and like has anything ever been more My Aesthetic 

god. has any1 ever been more iconic. this willy lives just north of bloor on dufferin and will tell anyone that the ossington strip is the “most underrated part of the city” (& hes right!!!!). they know his name at sugo. he takes all his out of town friends there and he gets tattoos at ink + water (thats at lansdowne right? now ive confused myself). he goes to the value village there and owns 29 pairs of sunglasses. he has his bed on the floor. he listens to a lot of better oblivion community centre. he long boards. he goes to bulk stores for groceries. he wants to start brewing his own kombucha. actually u know the more i typed this willy might just be me whoops.

this man is my next door neighbour for the summer in cottage country. he has a fishing boat but he doesnt fish because fish suck. i invite him over for bbq and telling stories around the campfire. we drink shitty beer. he is not interesting but he is hot. maybe we make out on the dock. willy looks weirdly good in green.

whenever someone has bracelets on their wrist my mind goes str8 to SUMMER CAMP. willyum is a camp counsellor at a camp maybe on like idk lake erie or some shit. he is a cabin leader and he loves his little sprouts/campers. frederik gauthier is the HEAD LIFEGUARD and willy thinks hes so funny and weird and sweet and cute and he doesnt realize!!! until the end of camp!!! that he has a big crush on freddie goat!!!! its the last night of camp and theres a big campfire and a camp dance and willy asks goat to sneak away with him. they go down to the beach and sit on the picnic table under the lifeguard tent and willy kisses goat and its very romantic. 

okay 1) love a man in a puffy coat & 2) there is something about “my father will hear about this” draco malfoy looking like He Was a Diplomats Son mp3 willy that just really gets my goat. he went to a boarding school in the swiss alps and fucked ur girlfriend. he has a closet for his shoes. he dated a member of the swedish royal family for a summer but broke up with him bc he was too clingy.

speaking of that bitch…..here he is again. this is after his tour after high school. he rented out an apartment in lisbon and would smoke cigarettes with beautiful people on the balcony. he spends a month in the south of france turning golden on the rocky beaches and buying dinner every night from the market on his way back to the hotel. this willy takes molly at a gay club in dresden and wakes up in an architect students bed and then he goes to the park to sweat off a hangover and pretend to read nietzsche  

this willy is absolutely the rapscallion son of the president. whats that movie with mandy moore (maybe???? oh no wait i just googled it its katie holmes) - that movie with katie holmes where the first daughter like falls in love or whatever?? this is willy. OOH IVE GOT IT. okay so this willy is absolutely a zoey barlett type from the west wing who is very cute and everyone loves him even though he is a spoiled brat sometimes/all the time. ENTER the assistant to the president - zach hyman - in a charlie young role. they fall in love over a pot of chilli. its the most beautiful thing u have ever s33n. 

okay so like willy is the new Legal Assistant at the office. kyle is a Partner in Law or whatever tf they’re called. willy and he are Working Late One Night and u know what that means…..they go to rol san bc its open until like 6am and they eat the FUCK out of some dumplings and then kyle drives willy back to his apartment (maybe in this one he lives in a shitty place at yonge & college???? like classic “roommate in the living room” toronto living??) and they KISS in the CAR and its ROMANTIC.

this willyumm is your date for thanksgiving dinner. he comes extremely bundled. my parents live north of toronto so i imagine this willy driving us north for the weekend. his scarf is very evan from skam and its sexi. he does not like the folk playlist that you have put on but its FALL and the TREES and OCTOBER MEANS HOZIER and hes like UGH FINE WHATEVER and is a bit grumpy but then u pass thru the holland marsh and he’s like “hm smells like onions” and its all fine again. his laugh confuses your extended family and he sucks at scrabble and is a pouty bitch about it but its a GOOD TIME.

god THIS WILLYAM is ur older brothers BEST FRIEND and he comes over to play video games ?? i guess ?? i never had a brother but i YEARNED to crush on a brothers best friend. he is very handsome like a lion. maybe you write some weird diary shit about it. every time he comes over ur SO WEIRD and he KNOWS ABOUT UR CRUSH and hes VERY NICE ABOUT IT.

also would a willy listicle be complete without me marvelling over his long straight nose??????????? look how straight it is!!!!!!

this will ham is in ur intro to gender studies class on friday mornings in sid smith. hes in one of ur projects and hes got no fucking clue whats going on. hes on the varsity blues hockey team and he thought that he clicked on “intro to geography”. despite the fact that he has no idea whats happening ever hes enthusiastic about listening. one time u go for coffee at mallo across from where honest eds used to be and he asks u what the male gaze is. 

okay. i hope u enjoyed this. it took me awhile and i enjoyed every second of it. to conclude, here is several screen shots from my favourite willy interview:

u ever see a man more beautiful

lil elastic face weirdo 

[mommymooze]

Bob

Bob-Original Character. 

Warning: Crack (yes, I found crack!) vulgar, violent, bad humor, toasty cinnamonrolls Hubert abuse

Part 1

He confidently strides around the grounds of the Monastery like he owns the place. Noone dares to tell him he doesn’t.  He’s always been curious, his quest for knowledge knows no bounds. That Riegan kid? An amateur next to him. The poisons and potions that boy comes up with? He made those before he was 9. Riegan is always bragging about Lysithia. Youngest girl to graduate from the School of Sorcery, she is such a prodigy, bla, bla, bla. He had graduated before his 10th birthday. His graduating thesis rewrote the book on transmogrification.

He doesn’t care for Claude practically sticking his tongue in Professor Byleth’s ear at every turn. Okay, so the doof hasn’t quite done that, but he can see that the guy really ‘breathily’ speaks in her ear, so he may as well be. Bob is not jealous. Byleth doesn’t interest him. Not in that way. He knows she’s the best choice for Professor for the Blue Lions. Golden Deer are too chaotic and disorganized. The Black Eagles are practically run by the Agarthans, unfortunately those idiots can’t see it. Besides, its easier to ‘fit in’ with the people of his ‘land’.  He’s a noble, in the loosest sense of the word.

His fellow Blue Lions will follow Dimitri to hell and back. Little do they know that Dimitri already has one foot in hell. The guy is nuts. The things he talks about in his sleep, well, Bob’s seen people like that before.  They have endured some really heavy shit and trauma. Usually it’s a one-way trip. Dimitri’s hanging on by a thin frayed thread and only Dedue is keeping him grounded. Looks like Professor Byleth is picking up on it. Saving Dedue’s life was the best thing that ever happened to Dimitri.

Now Sylvain, he got a rotten deal handed to him. Don’t blame him for his coping mechanism of getting back at the girls that are after him for his goods and not him. A bit self-destructive, but he does kind of enjoy it, until it goes south. Step in Ingrid, to save him. She’s such a knight in shining armor, rescuing princess Sylvain every time. Felix, he needs a complete emotional enema. He’s been blocked up since his brother died. His father’s been blocked up since his wife died. Felix locked down all of his feelings and emotions only letting out anger and hatred. Any time he has a feeling related to kindness or love, he beats it out of himself by training to death. Ashe, there is a sweet young man. A cinnamon roll through and through. He’s been through tough times and better times. You just can’t let harm come to a freaking ray of sunshine like him. Annette is definitely in the cinnamon rolls covered in sunshine category as well, even though her conception sperm donor is a dick. Daddy Gustav, ugh, Duscur screwed him in the head too. ‘I failed as a knight. I couldn’t protect them.’ So you dump your family, stick your thumb in your ass and watch Dimitri fall apart? Really? Yeah he super sucks as a father type thing. Mercedes is a fun girl. She’s seen some shit, yet she is so motherly to all the Lions. She is not one to give up, even on her loser psycho brother.  

Bob is a model student. He watches the idiotic pranks that Sylvain pulls.  Fart jokes? That is third grade stuff. They have the big mock battle between the classes in a few weeks. Bob catches the redhead getting turned down by Felix when he invites his bff to town to check out some girls. Bob just happens to be near the door when Sylvain exits.

“Hey man, heard you may be heading to town. Need a wingman?” Bob offers.

“Only if you buy the first round.” Sylvain grins.

They head out the front gates to the town on the other side of the woods. Talking about their favorite types of girls, Sylvain is ready to hit up anything in a skirt by the time they hit the closest drinking establishment. Half an ale gone and the redhead has found a couple of prospective tarts ready to take a bite out of.  Bob takes a seat next to a young brunette cleric who shyly smiles as he sits. They chatter amicably, before the evening is over, he knows of her family, history, deity (not Sothis, gasp) how long she has done this, life’s dreams, battle experience, her strongest spells, affinities, favorite foods, shoe size and her birthday. Sylvain returns to the tavern a bit disheveled and a grin from ear to ear.  Bob bids his little friend good night. Once he is finished suffering through the heavily detailed victorious encounter that the handsome cavalier has just experienced, Bob changes direction of the conversation to the redhead himself.

“Dude, why do you act like such a fuckup? Felix hits it right on the nose every time and you just crumble. You are much smarter than you lead everyone to believe. You hold back on your magic. You can handle a lance like nobody’s business. If you practiced some, get your speed up, you’d be deadly. What’s the deal?” Bob doesn’t exactly hold back.

“Look,” Sylvain whines, “I know I’m a fuckup. My father has my life lined up for me. He’ll pick out who I marry, I’m stuck watching over the Gautier territory, making crestbabies to grow up and wield the Lance of Ruin. My brother was fucked over by my father for not having a crest. I had to go out and kill him. My own brother. My whole life is so messed up, why should I even try?”

Bob leans over and whispers into the redhead’s ear. “Man, the winds of change are coming. This whole godessdamned world is going to be flipped upside down. Just when you think it can’t get any worse it does. It’s gonna be a mess. Then one day, there’s going to be a light in that darkness, and the world is tilted again. All the slates are going to be wiped clean and I intend on being there to rewrite it all. I just want you to come along for the ride, dude.”

Sylvain looks at Bob like he’s got two heads. “How much did you have to drink while I was gone? That is some crazy heavy shit. Whatever it was, you gotta buy me some next time.” He laughs as they get back to the monastery gates.

------------------

Bob quickly becomes bored with the highly censored library in the monastery and decides to find where the one is in Abyss. Besides, he hates the skinwalker librarian. The creep likes to hand out anti church of Seiros paraphernalia to anyone that would take one. Bob knew of Abyss long before he had ever arrived. He found out more information about Garreg Mach on the outside than on the inside. Once you go past the front gate, the church folks zip their lips shut. He sneaks around a few tunnels, keeping his eyes peeled for anyone nearby. Noting some footsteps slowly moving closer, he blends in with the walls. Two girls walk past, he’s just about to let them keep going, but he recognizes one of them.

“Hapi?” Bob softly gasps.

“Dipshit! Long time no see, jerk!” Hapi runs over and hugs him.

The taller blonde girl stands, waiting for a proper introduction.

“Oh, Coco, this is my friend, Dipshit. He helped get me out of the terrible place where, you know, those guys were.” Hapi says.

The noble woman offers her hand, “Constance Von Nuvelle.  I am temporarily living here, however I strive to restore House Nuvelle to its finest glory.

Bob takes her hand, kissing the back of it, “I am very honored to make your acquaintance. How fortunate to meet such a beautiful woman as yourself in such an interesting location.”

Constance Nuvelle giggles at his introduction. Bob is all OMG she is so CUTE.

Hapi gives him the stink-eye “Aaanyyway, we should prolly take you to meet Yuribird. He’s the boss around here. “

So they meander over to the class room and meet Yuri. Tall, beautiful, with an air of mystery for kicks, Yuri greets the newcomer. “Any friend of Hapi’s is welcome.”

Bob explains his presence. “I’m not here to get in your business. Just wanted to check out your library. If I find anything useful to you, I know where to go with it. Mostly I am interested in all the crap that is going on topside.”

Yuri walks with him to the place where Seteth’s banished books have been stored. Bob tears into it like a man starved. Feeding on everything he can get his hands on.

Yuri decides to be sociable for a moment. “Whatcha looking for friend?”

Bob “the usual. Nabatheans, Agarthans, saints, Nemesis, relics, bloodlines, histories that may be a little closer to the truth than what they have upstairs. “

Yuri nods. “Sure. Have at it.”

“I’ll let you know if I find anything about the Crest of Aubin or the rest of you guys.” Bob offhandedly remarks looking through a few books.

Yuri starts cleaning under his nails with a particularly sharp dagger. “Funny, no one mentioned Crests, much less if anyone has one.”

“I can smell ‘em.” Bob says indifferently. “One of their experiments gone haywire. Hapi and I did time together. Ask her, she’s where I got my crest.”

“Have fun.” Yuri quips before heading out, stashing his dagger.

Bob is devouring this library. Opens every single book on every single shelf. Divides them into piles. Church, Magic, research, Agarthans, useful, and crap.

Encyclopedia of Fodlan’s Insects. Insects is what the Agarthans call Nabatheans. Winged bugs that need squashing. It also describes items forbidden by the church. These of course are things the Agarthans have used for centuries. Telescopes, viewing lenses, metal printing presses, decent condoms. Bob laughs out loud at the section on autopsies. Wouldn’t want you poking around inside someone’s head or chest. May accidentally find a crest stone or worse rattling around in there. Bob finishes sorting the upper levels of the Shadow Library. He hands a few books to Yuri to peruse, telling him to hang on to them, Bob would like a close look when he is done. Bob shuffles off with armful after armful of books, taking them to a quiet little nook that Yuri has permitted for him. Not much bigger than a closet, but its enough room to keep the books secure. Just as he’s on his last trips, who should happen to arrive at the library but Hubert von Vestra.

“Hey Bro, what the fuck you doin’ down here?” Bob impolitely and arrogantly asks.

“You. Why don’t you crawl back under your rock.” Hubert curses.

“Surprised to see you standing up. Usually you’re on all fours licking her high and mightynesses boots.” Bob shakes his head, getting his black and white bangs out of his eyes.

“Lady Edelgard deserves all of my praise and loyalty for everything she has been through. House Vestra shall always be at her service.” Hubert stiffly replies.

“Yeah, how’s that working out for you. She hasn’t been through half the shit I’ve been through. She’s barely holding it together. What’s fucking hilarious is she’s relying on you to help her keep it together. You still haven’t gotten over killing father. You should’ve let me know. I’d’ve done it in a heartbeat. Can’t wait till I can slit my beautiful mother’s throat and listen to her gurgling as the life flows from her.”

“He denounced you. You are not a Vestra.” The Black Eagle spits out.

Bob puts his hands on his hips. “Gimme a break. You and I are cut from the same mold. Same greasy black hair, at least I take care of mine. Same strong chin, handsome cheek bones, body structure. Hell we have the same color eyes from father. Just because I’m your half bro doesn’t mean I’m not part of your family. We’re both drawn to black and dark magic. We wield spells far above our fellow students. Just think of the things we could do together. “

“No. You are crude, undignified, unprodigious, and disgusting inside as well as out.” Hubert spits.

“We’re twins! I’m just the better looking one. Just ask anyone. You stand around like a starving vulture ready to pounce on everyone. Always looming and leering. That creepy guy intimidation thing only gets you so far. You need to work on your charm.” Bob schmoozes, moving closer to his half brother.

“I’ve had enough of this.” Hubert gives a disgusted frown and warps away.

“I love dicking with him. Fucking dickwad.” Bob laughs a deep and frightening laugh that scares some female out in the hallway who screams and runs away.

----------------------------

When Flayne goes missing, Bob becomes unhappy. She’s a sweet and innocent girl. Yeah, she’s got dragon blood and all that, but really she’s nice. Cinnamon roll nice. Too nice to be caught up in any Agarthan mess. And this kidnapping has Agarthan written all over it.

Bob shows up behind Hubert, smashing his face into a wall and nicking his half bro’s throat as he puts a dagger under his chin. “Tell her to call the Agarthan dogs back. Tell her how wrong it is to work with them. They are not your friends. The enemy of your enemy crap doesn’t work. They are only using you, not the other way around”

Hubert, bloody nosed from having it smashed into a wall mutters, “I will bring it up in our next conversation.”

“Yeah. Talk about it. All talk, no action.” Bob disappears through the wall. He materializes in the library behind Ashe.

“Ashe, take off your baseball cap.” The cool dark mage orders.

The grey haired cinnamon roll takes off his hat and sits very straight in the comfy chair in the library. He can feel the hand patting his head, then stroking his hair from the top of his head down to his neck.

“Good boy, you are a good boy Ashe.” Bob begins his mantra, praising and patting.

“Yes. I am a good boy.” Ashe repeats, closing his eyes.

Thirty minutes later Ashe is happily asleep curled up in the chair and Bob no longer has steam coming out of his ears. Bob looks around the library. Where is that Thomas creep anyway? Bob goes to the upper levels where Thomas’ desk is located. Pinned to the bulletin board is a cartoon of Rhea tied to a stake while they light a huge fire under her. A poster in Medieval script saying “Dragons must Die!!!” A stack of love poems devoted to Catherine, his forbidden love.  And a large, oversized rubber stamp that says “DENIED”. But no sign of Thomas. Bob decides to pay the gatekeeper a visit. He floats down the three flights of stairs to the main level. Not only because it is cool if you can float, but he also won’t trip over one of Claude’s 17 pairs of roller-skates he leaves everywhere, especially on stairs.

“Greetings Bob, nothing to report.” The gatekeeper happily greets the black and white haired mage, cheerfully looking up into his piercing citrine eyes.

“Hey Keeps, you ever see the librarian head out of these gates?” Bob asks him in a deep, sultry voice.

“Oh yeah, I guess he left almost a week ago. I bet he’s going out to chase down some overdue books. Had a large empty sack on his shoulder.” Gatekeeper smiles ever so widely, a blush to his cheeks as he stares deeper into Bob’s eyes.

Caspar overhears the conversation, gasps, and runs straight to Linhardt’s room to save his best friend from being sentenced to death for his lack of library returns.

Bob returns to his room for the night to ponder the mysteries of the universe, Flayn’s location, why does Felix do that thing with his hair, and why does Dimitri find Alois’ jokes funny? They suck so bad. Is it the madness?

-----------

Breakfast with the Blue Lions is enlightening. There are rumors of some sort of dude that dresses up like the grim reaper, complete with scythe that is creeping out the people in the village. Just one more thing to add to the list of the weird crap that is going on around this place. As he walks across the courtyard, some guy from the kitchen bumps into him.

“Hey, watch it, bud.” Bob giving the guy the eye.

Kitchen guy stops him. ”Have you seen Manuela?” he asks as blood is dripping down his arm.

Bob holds his hands out like he is holding two invisible watermelons to his chest, “Really big…?”

The guy nods.

Bob smirks, “Never heard of her. What were you doing?” Bob curiously asks.

“Peeling potatoes. Knife slipped.” Kitchen guy says, not looking so good. Bob knows to avoid potatoes for dinner.

“Head for the training grounds, healers are always hanging out there for practice opportunities.” Bob says before heading to the stable area.  Just as he walks past the Knights quarters, he hears a shriek in a perfect “C”. Probably Manuela. Just before he goes inside he stops a guy standing out front telling him to get the Blue Lions. You know, the group with the really tall hot blonde guy? Yeah, those Blue Lions.

The mage runs down the hall and finds a door partially open. He pushes it the rest of the way to find Manuela lying on the floor. She’s reaching out for something by the wall, as Bob gets closer he can smell them, Agarthans. He feels around and there’s a secret passage that opens wide to show a path down to the stink. The dark mage heads straight down the hole, lighting every torch on the way to guide the rest of his house. The Professor arrives at the bottom of the stairs to find all of the enemies in the immediate area are on fire. Bob is currently hurling fire spells through the gate at the enemies in the next room. “Die motherfuckers!! MUahahahahahahaha! Eat this!” Bob screams as he throws another fireball at one of the guys in the next room who tries to hide as far in a corner as possible, but still winds up having his robes catch fire and he screams in agony.

Byleth places her hand on Bob’s shoulder, whispering in his ear. “Calm down dude, you’re frightening the kids. Don’t scar our cinnamonrolls.”

Bob pulls a fist in front of his mouth. “Oopsie. Sorry. Was over excited. ::cough cough::”

The Blue Lions take over from here. Ashe unlocks the door as Felix and Sylvain rush in followed by Dedue and Ingrid. The professor heads to the left to unlock another gate.

Bob reaches over to pat Ashe on the head. “Good boy, you are such a good boy.”

Ashe smiles as his eyes glaze the slightest bit.

They move forward quickly wiping out the soldiers that are nearby. Felix and Sylvain take some warp tiles that send them to various places in the area where they can deactivate trap tiles. They all are joined together at the door in front of the death knight. Ashe opens the door. Bob’s already materialized in the room and hitting the big masked dude on the horsie with Dark Spikes T when the Flame Emperor shows up to send horsie boy off.

Flame Emperor “Go home Creepy McCreepface, you done good. I am the Flame Emperor. I will reforge the world.” And with that they both warp off.

Professor “We need to get these kids out of here.”

Bob, “I’ll grab Flayne, leave that other one, it smells bad.”  He tosses Flayne over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Bob carries her all the way to the infirmary. When putting her on a cot, he notices that her shirt sleeves were sliced open to her armpits and there are multiple holes in her arms where the evil bloodsuckers have taken her blood multiple times. He whispers to Manuela that the girl is a few quarts low, then he leaves.

Bob heads straight to Hubert’s room. His half brother isn’t there, so he waits for him to show up. So he’s not too bored, he goes into his brothers notes on spells and adds a few extra lines here and there to Sigils and changes ingredients on some poisons.

As soon as Hubert enters the door he is tripped then given a knee in the back while his dear half sibling repeatedly smashes his face into the floor.

“I told ::slam:: you not ::slam:: to work ::slam:: with them. ::slam slam:: Fucking idiot! ::slam slam slam::

Hubert’s nose is quite crooked and he can’t breathe correctly through it now. “I toad her, but she woodit lissen.”

Bob continues his rant. “Now we have a kid that suddenly appears from being gone last year. “ He definitely does airquotes on the word “suddenly”. “She’s one of them, I know it. Dump her. Dump the Agarthans. And wash your hair sometimes, ew.” Bob disappears through the floor, listening to Hubert call him a few names that weren’t in the book. Bob needs to write those down.

----------------------

It was time for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion and no Deerz allowed. Byleth has been working them pretty hard, advancing Bob as quickly as she can in magic certifications. He’s got reason down better than anyone in the group, so he’s been teaching them more advanced spellcasting. Byleth doesn’t say much but she catches on fast. If you can get Annette to shut up and concentrate, she does an amazing job. Mercedes doesn’t have her heart in it but manages to get a few reason spells down, Fire for sure, and Thunder is getting better. Felix is great with Thunder. Sylvain would be great with fire, but he screws around too much.

The horn signals for the battle to begin. Bob immediately heads for the back lines of the Black Eagles, materializing behind Linhardt, stabbing him with a blade covered with a powerful sleeping concoction. Lin would probably thank him. Bob heads over to behind Marianne in the Golden Deer. He whispers “good night, sweetie” in her ear before he holds a cloth covered with the same powerful sleeping potion. Lying her carefully on the ground he hides out in the nearby bushes to find out where Lysithia has gone off to.

He watches Ferdinand and Sylvain get into it. Handsome redheads on horses stab at each other repeatedly with pointed sticks. Finally, Sylvain gets the upper hand, but not by much. Ferdinand is out and heads to the boundary lines. Sylvain heads back to Mercedes for a bit of patching up. Annette is working on whittling down Ignatz, blowing his arrows off course as she attacks with wind spells. The professor is taking out Raphael and Claude.  Bob decides to throw a mire at Hilda. She screams about her hair and how gross the magic muck feels all over her and gives up. Felix is giving Leonie a workout.  Sylvain is back and taking on Lorenz. Lorenz throws a decent Fire spell at Sylvain, causing the redhead’s horse to rear up, he still is able to stay on the steed and then counter Lorenz with a decent lance jab that knocks the grapeheaded guy off his horse.

The battle continues on. It is between the lions and eagles, the deer are out. Its very helpful at this point that the eagles have no healer except for Dorothea. Her magic is going to be defensive not attacking for the most part. Edelgard marches down the field heading for Dimitri and Dedue, followed by Hubert and Caspar. Bob lost track of Petra and Felix, not sure who won that match. Bob grabs a large wooden sword lying on the ground and materializes behind Hubert. Swinging the flat edge of the blade at full force at the back of Hubert’s head, Bob provides Hubert with the headache of the month.

“Blockhead.” Bob smirks as he watches the dark mage fall and Bob disappears into the ground just under the swing of Edelgard’s axe. Bob shows up in a copse of trees not far away watching the rest of the blue lions completely wipe out the black eagles.

---------------------

Bob is in Abyss, in the laboratory of the most creative and beautiful sorceress he has ever met.

“Darling, would you be so kind to join me for lunch today? I would be ever so honored and grateful if you would grace my humble presence with your enlightening company.” Bob croons.

“Ever the charming one, pumpkin. However I must decline as I have serious potions to concoct today and they simply cannot mix themselves.” Constance smiles ever so sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

“Ahh. I so adore your everworking and brilliant mind, however you do need nourishment for your delectable body. If I may, I will retrieve lunch from above and bring it back to provide you with the energy needed to complete your serious tasks. “ Bob dashingly offers, his hands on his hips, his hair waving in the breeze, a sparkle shows on his teeth with a ding.

“I suppose I must acquiesce to obtaining sustenance. Having your handsome face as accompaniment is also a great pleasure. Please do go, with haste and fetch our midday feast.” Coco wiggles her fingers, encouraging him to hurry.

“But of course my flower, my jewel. I shall return poste haste.” Bob says, holding his palm open for her to gently place her hand within it so that he may delicately kiss the back of her hand, and then lick it for good measure.

He then disappears through the floor, only a minute later to walk through the wall behind her.

“Every moment away tears at my heart, my sweet lady. I am overjoyed to have returned and bask in your beauty once again. Please join me.” The handsome dark mage waves a hand at the beautifully set table complete with two darling candelabras with Ashen Wolves colored candles, napkins and tablecloth.  

They sit on the same side of the table. Bob smiles and he feeds her bite after bite until she is satisfied. Next time he may even offer to chew if for her if she so desires. He takes a napkin and lightly dabs at the corner of her mouth.

“There my precious one.” Bob coos in her ear. “Have you been sated? Is there anything else that I may obtain for you? I would pull the stars from the sky if you would only ask for them.”

Constance smiles, a bit of green something stuck on her teeth, “Nah, I’m good. “

Bob helps her from her chair and walks her back to the laboratory table. “Ahh. Then, although it pains me to do so< I shall leave you to your work.” He says before snapping his fingers, clearing the table.  

Bob dips her, giving her a face sucking kiss until her skin on her cheeks is almost purple, as he stands her back up she is completely gasping for breath, trying to cool herself with her fan. She has a severe case of the vapors. He then rises into the air, disappearing through the ceiling.

----------------------------

Remire Village. Nice place if you like living in Hell!!!! Whole place is aflame. Dimitri is acting like Frankenstein’s monster getting creeped out by the flames everywhere giving him flashbacks of Duscur. Felix is getting flashbacks of feral Dimitri. Sylvain is getting flashbacks of the girls he had dated here, they’re all monsters now and after him. Ingrid is having flashbacks of when she was camping and her marshmallows AND her hotdog fell into the campfire. Bob is busy covering the eyes of Annette and Ashe to keep them from as much of the horror as possible, the smell around him of burnt cinnamon is concerning. Somehow they save the villagers, Thomas’ skin is removed from Solon, a pasty white older than dirt uglier than sin guy. Professor B beats up the old guy pretty quick and pastyboy heads for the hills.

The Death Knight is there. Bob pulls the cinnamon rolls over and whispers in their ears.

“Hey kids, would you like to see your dear Uncle Bob get rid of the McKreepface guy on the horse? I’ll let you laugh at him while he burns, okay?”

Ashe and Annette nod their heads very quickly has Bob hands them each a bowl of popcorn and a box of milkduds for the show.

“Huzza-huzza-HOOM! You’re about to meet your DOOOOOOM!” Bob cackles as the magic of Dark Spikes T whips from his fingers and chomps on the body of the Death Knight like Godzilla eating buildings in Tokyo. The only thing left of the dude is a Dark Seal that Bob wraps in a pink bow and hands to Professor Byleth.

“Don’t you want this, Bob?” the Professor asks.

“Nope, mother got me one for my birth day. Figured you could use a spare.” The dark mage quips.

The Flame Emperor shows up. “Deathknight, you’re having too much fuuuuuuuuuck! What did you do to my pet?”

“Chomp chomp bitch.” Bob says making hand gestures like his fingers are teeth chomping towards her face.

Jeralt is angry. “So you’re the one that did this to my favorite village?”

“No, no, you got it all wrong.” The Flame Emperor backpedals. “Yeah, Solon works with me, but man I didn’t know he was going to pull this shit.”

“Come to the dark side!” Flameface pleads. “I will give you cookies…”

“We got Mercedes, your cookies suck compared to ours. Oh, and you suck too.” Says Byleth.

“Look, Solon and his buddies, they are powerful. Together, me, you, The Sword of the Creator. We can take them down.” Flame face

Bob pulls his right hand into his sleeve to make it look like it’s been cut off. “I’ll never rule the universe with you!”

Dedue runs up saying his Princeliness is missing. Bob grabs his two cinnamon rolls protectively.

“Don’t let Mr. CrazySpaghettihead scare you. Lets go get some icecream.” Bob says leading them to the monastery.

[bosstoaster]

Emoji meme ~ 💗📺🎨💭

💗 If you were purely making a fic for yourself, without fear of what other readers would think about it, what would you write?

Probably some really obscure interest fushion like the Debate AU or West Wing AU. I have both of those written up in an outline but, like, honestly it’s not worth going into.

Otherwise... tbh, I’m already a very self-indulgent writer lol. That’s why I have so many fics about OCs (my versions of Matt and Ryou, lol).

📺- What media (Show/Movie/Game) would you like to write fanfiction for, but haven’t yet?

Honestly, I’d enjoy writing a Critical Role fic or two, but I know I’m not as good a storyteller as Matt Mercer. My fic is going to pale in comparison. I’d rather let the story take me to the destination, though I do occasionally like ‘what ifs’ or ‘fics from other perspectives’. 

(Mostly I just want one ‘the game meets Kima fic that meets my standards to finish it, but then I’d have to make up a plot ugh).

🎨- If you could ask for any kind of fanart for a certain fic or fic scene, what would it be?

Honestly, I have gotten a lot of art of the stuff I wanted to see from my fics. I am extremely, ridiculously lucky in that way. But if I could ask for something, I’d want the moment from Got a Weak Heart where the Yellow Lion bursts through. Shiro, carrying Ryou, hanging still and nearly serene in the air as everything around him is sucked into the void and ripped apart. I had that picture clearly in my head as the end goal of that scene from the start of writing.

💭- Any fanfiction ideas you’re not sure on writing about?

One thing I’m currently working on but I’m not sure how it’ll go: The team playing DnD, mostly ‘in character’, but including their out of character dialogue. Literally, I’m just going to put them in one of my high level campaigns and let them see what happens, ahaha. 

(Ask me writer emoji questions!)

[edenfalling]

[Fic] “I Believe the Children Are Our Future” - Chronicles of Narnia

Summary: Helping your sister take care of her new twins is vexing. Figuring out a stable and robust system of government for Narnia that will outlast your death is even more vexing, but you can't properly manage the former task without eventually facing the latter. AU, no White Stag. (1,425 words)

Note: Written for alexseanchai, in response to the prompt: kids / babies, the Pevensie(s) of your choice, didn't-return-to-England AU. It is also a fill for the Genprompt Bingo square kids / babies.

--------------------------------------------- I Believe the Children Are Our Future ---------------------------------------------

"I still say having twins was a bit much," Lucy remarked as she held Ngoro on her lap, carefully propping her niece upright so the baby could stare out the nursery window at the summer rain pattering on an exuberant spray of ivy. "Yes, it's a marvelous way to trump Edmund and Margita for having the first child of House Pevensie, but when do you and Jurusi sleep?"

"We trade watches," Susan said, deftly folding the last flap of Alfred's diaper and fastening it with a silver pin, "besides which, all the good folk of Cair Paravel stand ready to lend a hand, paw, or wing whether we need the assistance or not."

"That's not-- well, yes, I suppose that is how things go around here," Lucy conceded. "Though frankly, as vexing as it can be to have everyone sticking their noses into one's decisions, I prefer that to the alternative. We've seen quite clearly what happens when people have no one willing and able to tell them they're being foolish or need more sleep."

Susan made a hideous face at her son, who giggled and flailed his pudgy, uncoordinated hands toward her mouth and nose. "I beg you, don't remind me."

Lucy made a face in turn, then swayed back to avoid getting smacked in the eye by Ngoro's equally uncoordinated excitement. "Alas, I think I have to -- at least in a roundabout way. It was fine when Ysavetta was the only heir, but we now have three children of House Pevensie and no established rule of precedence for which shall inherit what. Worse yet, I don't think we've established a principle of dynastic inheritance at all, considering our authority comes directly from Aslan and the land's own prophecy, which isn't what I'd call an easily replicable precedent."

"Lucy. I am too tired to think about political theory."

Lucy hefted Ngoro into her arms and stood from her armchair. "You won't become any less tired for at least a year." Ngoro made a noise halfway between a coo and a frustrated kitten-mew, and flailed again toward Lucy's face. Lucy intercepted her niece's hand with one of her own fingers, which Ngoro promptly wrapped her own tiny fingers around and tugged close to shove into her mouth. "Besides, you're far more honest when you're too exhausted to put on your regal face." And like it or not, some questions needed answers.

"You're far too honest all the time. It's most vexing, having a sister who's the next best thing to a living saint." Susan sat down on the broad couch that doubled as a bed for whoever was taking night watch in the nursery and guarding the infant prince and princess. Then she flopped down onto her back, pulling Alfred with her until he was lying face-down on her stomach. "Hello, darling! Yes, I know, that feels so much better now. Isn't it nice to be clean? How about we try to keep Mummy's dress clean for at least five minutes? Can we do that, sweetling?"

"Five candied chestnuts says he can't."

"Deal," Susan said as she grasped Alfred's hands within her own and began waving his arms back and forth, up and down, in mirrored patterns. "Now take your finger out of my daughter's mouth -- honestly, when was the last time you washed your hands? -- and tell me why you think we ought to settle the succession today rather than wait to discover if any of our children even wish to shoulder the weight of an entire country."

Lucy pried her finger out of Ngoro's mouth and tapped her niece on the nose to distract her from her thwarted gnawing. "The Tisroc's sons."

Susan's hands stilled for a moment. "Ugh. Yes. Fair point. There are any number of rotten strands contributing to that poisoned web, but the tacit rule that the throne goes to whosoever can take and hold it certainly bears much of the weight."

"I fear that accepting murder as a legitimate method of succession was the seed of a number of those other rotten strands over the generations," Lucy said. "I'd prefer for our family and our country not to turn down that path."

"The trouble, of course," Susan said as she continued to wave Alfred's arms about to his apparent glee, "is that any fixed succession method for a royal house opens the way to unfit or uninterested rulers. Moreover we face the problem of either converting a tetrarchy into a monarchy without creating hard feelings among any children who don't inherit a throne, or of establishing some equivalent to Peter's role as High King without divine appointment to back that person's claim over the other three rulers."

Lucy sighed. "Yes, exactly. I'd thought we might have the High Throne go by seniority -- whoever has been king or queen the longest when the current High King or High Queen dies -- but that only works if there's a clear rule for accession to the lesser thrones. This is why I need your help. The Lion only knows I haven't found any foolproof answers and I've been worrying at the matter since Ysavetta was-- Ouch!" Ngoro, both hands tangled in Lucy's hair, yanked again. "Yes, I know my hair is shiny, but we don't hurt people unless we're at war, and even then we warn them first. Let go. Why don't we go look at the rain again? It's shiny too!"

"One would think a soldier would know the value of braiding back her hair," Susan remarked to the white-gold stars painted in constellations across the nursery ceiling.

"Braids make my scalp itch."

"'Tis a great pity for you. Regardless, it occurs to me that you have framed the problem too narrowly. The question is not who shall inherit the throne or thrones of Narnia. The question is how Narnia shall be governed when we four are gone to Aslan's Country. Why have a throne at all? I seem to recall that some lands in Spare Oom managed well enough without one."

Lucy stilled, hand stretched out through the open window to cup a palmful of rain, cool and cleansing on her skin. Then she pulled her arm back in and let Ngoro smash one hand gleefully into the tiny puddle.

"Narnia has always had a king or queen, since the Dawn of Time itself. Will the land be satisfied without one?"

Susan rolled onto her side to meet Lucy's gaze, Alfred cradled safely within her arms. "Perhaps not. But I think that is the question we must answer first, before we seek to burden my children or our niece with the weight and duty of a throne. And further, I think we should draw others into our search. We have never ruled alone -- neither one king or queen without three others to hold the balance, nor four tetrarchs alone with no counsel from our people -- and a question so vital as this cannot be resolved behind closed doors. That, too, is a rotten seed I would not see take root in Narnian soil."

"It's most vexing, having a sister who would rather ask a dozen new questions than find a simple answer," Lucy said with a smile.

"Anyone who claims to have a simple answer to a complicated problem is lying or deceived," Susan said.

"Even Aslan?"

"Aslan is the only potential exception, but I prefer to reserve judgment until I reach his Country and examine the perspective from which he makes his decisions." Susan heaved herself upright and held out one hand to forestall Lucy's rejoinder. "In the meantime, because you're my sister and I love you, all vexation aside, I will give you one simple answer."

She crossed the nursery, pushed Lucy down into the armchair, and deposited Alfred on her lap beside Ngoro. "You wanted to know when Jurusi and I sleep? I'm going to join him in our bed right now. You may take my watch."

Lucy watched her sister stride swift and elegantly from the room, then glanced down at her niece and nephew. Ngoro and Alfred met her gaze with wide, curious eyes, before Ngoro turned back to the window and Alfred smacked his hands on Lucy's shoulder, making tiny noises with each touch.

Perhaps it was asking too much to find a simple answer that would keep these two small lives safe as Lucy herself had never been, save for a month of peace snatched here and there from the swirl of duty and chaos.

Even so, she could do no less than try.

---------------------------------------------

End of Fic

---------------------------------------------

Miscellaneous worldbuilding notes! In this AU, I am assuming the Pevensies are still interested in international alliances -- probably moreso since the whole Rabadash incident -- and this has resulted in Susan marrying a relative of the royal house of Kutu (the country south of Calormen) while Edmund has married a princess from Telmar. I am unsure about Peter, and as for Lucy, she's eventually going to go on a sailing adventure to the uttermost east and run into a suspiciously familiar Sea-Woman because if I'm already going AU, why not shove in the Lucy ship of my heart? *waves tiny Lucy/Sea-Girl flag*

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

I was tagged by my boo @dawnie1988

Nickname: Alex, Al, Allie, Chicky (Only by my parents)

Real Name: Alexandra

Zodiac: Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Cancer rising

Favorite Musicians/Bands: Ugh this is hard, I don’t really have favorites, I just kind of listen to all types of music. I’ve only ever been in love with NSYNC and The Jonas Brothers 

Favorite Sports Teams: University of Michigan Wolverines and yes I only watch college football. It’s just kind of one of those things too where I grew up that if someone asked you it was, UofM, and the Detroit Lions (even though they suck), Pistons, Red Wings, and Tigers. So that would be my answer though I don’t watch any of those sports haha

Other Blogs: whew okay, @eatsleepbreathejosh (ah, the hunger games, I’ve got some truly horrendous fanfic over there) @anchorforyoursouls (aesthetic blog that I never post to) @applepieevergreen (where I save writing tips and tricks that I never look back at ha) @appleciderwhiskey (my fall/halloween blog) @sheiswater (my zodiac blog that i have yet to actually post anything to)

So all in all, only really active here

Do I Get Asks: Every now and again, but it is rare

How Many Blogs Do You Follow: 104 

Tumblr Crushes: I only have a handful of people I have met and talked to outside of tumblr, a few that are no longer active in THG fandom, but my Torcon babes @withoutaplease and @inseparablevirtuesandfailings own my heart <3

Lucky Numbers: 4, 23

What Am I Wearing: Blue jeans and a blue faded Traverse City, MI long sleeve tee

Dream Vacation: Greece, to hop around the greek islands, man oh man

Favorite Food: Mexican

Drink of Choice: Hmm, if we are talking alcohol, it would be vodka and cranberry juice, if we are talking soft drinks it’s Dr. Pepper with lemon slices

Instruments: Tried to learn violin in 5th grade, quit after a month... I just really don’t have the music gene

Languages: English (though I can never come up with the word I want to use), I took 4 years of French in high school and can still pick up some things but when put on the spot like my brother did yesterday (he is fluent in French) i completely blank haha I couldn’t think of the word for ‘what’ lord help me

Celebrity Crushes: Let’s go in chronological order here: Lance Bass, Zac Efron, Nick Jonas, Josh Hutcherson, Jensen Ackles.

There are so many more, too many to name, but these were my hyperfixations from age 5 to now

Random Facts:

I have two older living sibling, one sister and one brother. My mother lost two twin girls in the late 80′s before my sister, and then a miscarried a boy between my brother and I, making me the baby of the family

I actually like going to school I love learning new things and being able to expand my viewpoint on a vast array of subjects, while simultaneously not being able wait to graduate in two years

I’m on the taller side for a women at 5′9″ (so it’s great being next to J2 because I actually feel small for a change)

I had bariatric surgery almost three years ago now and lost 124 lbs (and still need to lose more gah)

My parents are still together after 35 years and I have lived in the same home for all my 25 years

That’s all I got, my life isn’t really that interesting....

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #258

“as above, so below, what you reap is what you sow. what you give comes back threefold, as above, so below.”

Who was your favorite cartoon character when you were a kid? Pikachu! Have you ever asked a guy out on a date? No. Who do you consider your best friend in your workplace? N/A Do you have to have your bed or anything else in your room a specific way before you go to sleep? I think I almost always have to be facing the left, but I can't really say with total certainty considering you don't really like... *realize* when you fall asleep. Have you changed your mind about anything lately? I've been on the fence about things. What do you dream about most? What is the general tone or mood of your dreams? They're either uncomfortable, melancholic run-ins with Jason or horrible nightmares about being attacked in some way and being incapable of fighting back. Do you mind going grocery shopping or is it something you enjoy? Does ANYBODY enjoy it?? If you could have a physical feature like wings, horns, a tail, ect., what would you have? GIVE ME RAM HORNS. What is something you wish more people understood about who you are as a person? A lot of my struggling goes on in my head. Like I think I'm relatively open about when I'm having a hard time, but it's come to my attention recently that there's a lot of battles people don't see and leads to the belief I give up easily. Have you ever gone through a time when you had no friends? How did you deal with it? No friends I ever hung out with or anything, yes. I just had to start reaching out and opening up a bit more, and that's when Colleen came in. What is your favorite food to have as a snack? It depends on what flavor I'm craving. Usually though, something sour and gummy. What time do you usually eat dinner? That can vary from as early as 5:30 to as late as like, 8:00. When was the last time you felt extremely happy? Like about a week ago, the second night Mom slept on the pull-out bed a family friend got us versus that damn couch she's slept on for years. Her doing it a second time was like, verification that she was more comfortable and would keep doing it, which she has. Has any food ever made you sick to the point where you’d be afraid to try it again? No, thankfully. What is something you wish you had the opportunity to do more often? Get out of the house. Do you have any interests or hobbies you thought you would outgrow, but haven’t? I wasn't sure if I would ever "outgrow" RP. Apparently I won't. Is there an outfit that you wear much more frequently than any other? There are a few shirts, yeah. How old is your television? We got it when my parents were still together, so it's old. Do you have a laptop or desktop? A laptop. Do you own any television series box sets? Just Meerkat Manor. Have you ever been in a fight with your best friend? Yeah. Was the last movie you watched a horror film? No. Where is your favorite place to go when you’re depressed? On a car ride where I can blast my music. In high school, were you in trouble a lot? No. I only ever got in trouble for too many tardies in the morning. Do you enjoy your hairstyle? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yikes yes. Do you think hugs are awkward? Not if they're friends or similar. People I don't like and/or know well but am expected to hug anyway, yes, it's uncomfortable. Story of my life with my sister's in-laws. Do you think facial hair is gross? ... No...? I mean sure, if it's not groomed it can be, but it's very natural and normal? Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? UGH I want to. My hair has such a hard time holding color... Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. What is your favorite band of all time? Ozzy Osbourne. Always. Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? Literally ASAP. I was supposed to get my Mark one tidied up big big time for my birthday by a really professional artist with both holiday and birthday money, but Mom literally had to use it to keep this house and the car. It was admittedly frustrating, but I could tell she was far from happy about it and I can't *rightfully* be pissy about it. Then the cancer came along and threw a massive wrench in the plan, so now idk when that's happening now. What movie did you last watch with someone? I THINK it was the live action The Lion King with Dad. It's been a long time. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not very actively, no. I acknowledge the risk, but it's not something I deeply worry about. If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? Don't have a book to read currently; I just finished the second Wings of Fire book, now I'm moving onto The Testaments by Margaret Atwood when we can order it over Amazon. Do you have a job you like? I don't have a job period. Have you ever lived with a roommate before? Yeah. How many scarves do you own, if any at all? Maybe one? If even that. Did you tell your last girlfriend/boyfriend that you love them? Yeah. What was the last thing your parents got mad at you for? Idk about Dad, but Mom... probably something I said? But I'm not sure. Do your pets have favorites? I'm the only one who handles Venus, and I'm Roman's favorite. How many people could sleep comfortably in the room you’re in? Just two if we share the bed. Would you like to have a treadmill in your house? I DESPERATELY want one. My legs are getting bad again now that I haven't physically been in school for what, a month? What’s the longest you’ve ever liked someone without telling them? Well, that would be Girt, but I went on-and-off with like-liking him for years... Since freshman year, really. It's hard to say because of my mind constantly changing. When is the last time you were on a swingset? Wow, no clue. At sleepovers, do you usually sleep on a bed, couch or floor? I haven't had one of those in too long of a time to really tell you. It would depend on the relationship, too. What’s the sweetest thing a gf/bf can do to get you to forgive them? Changed behavior. How hot does the temperature get in the summer where you live? High 90s/lower 100s. Was the last hoodie you wore too big for you? No. Did it belong to someone else? No. Have you ever taken Ambien to fall asleep? I was given it at the hospital, but it never did much for me. Did your last ex try to get back together with you after the break-up? No. Do you know someone who has 6 or more siblings? Possibly, but I don't think so. Do you rent movies frequently? Nope. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures. Will we ultimately end up destroying our own race? Yup. How do you think the world will end? Human life, climate change. Earth itself, probably like a meteor or black hole or something. I believe the universe itself will always exist. An alien ship lands at your house, and they want you. Do you go with them? Errrr no. If I even had the option. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don't cook. Homework: Do you actually READ the chapters, or just skim through them? I read. I'd be too nervous about missing vital info to skim. If you were in a horror flick, would you be one of the first ones to die? Probably, but it depends on the predicament, I guess? What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? I don't know. I'm not a film buff. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yep. Green olives, for example, look so fuckin gross to me. Would you ever become a fan of a team you hate to please your spouse? No? Can you handle scary movies? I love scary movies. I enjoy the adrenaline of 'em. How often do you get a new purse…and for guys a new wallet? Not often at all. What is the most money that you have ever spent on getting your nails done? Never done that. Do you have a fake I.D.? Nope. Would you date someone 5 years older than you? Yeah. Have you ever been fingered? Yes. What is your favorite horror movie? Hmmm. I've got a bias towards Silent Hill, of course, but I also really enjoy both The Blair Witch Project movies, as well as The Crazies. Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yeah. What’s your favorite kind of float? (coke, root beer) I can't remember the last time I had one of those. If you heard your best friend’s significant other was cheating on them, would you tell them? Even if you couldn’t prove it? UM yes. I mean it kinda depends on who told me this, like it could be total bullshit, but, they'd deserve to know that there was a possibility. If you discovered you were pregnant at this point in time, would you keep it or abort it? Why? If I got pregnant now, it'd have to be a case of rape, in which case I would probably abort, considering I'd be fucking traumatized worse than I already was. What is the last thing you googled? Uhhh shit. I think the definition for a word to ensure I was using it correctly? Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? Nooo. I always wanted to as a kid, but I was ultimately too scared. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot, usually. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes. Where did your mother and father meet for the first time? I think work. Have you ever stayed in a cheap motel? No. I'm too much of a germaphobe for that. Have you been to Mount Rushmore? No. Do you sleep with the door open, kinda open, or completely closed? Open or kinda open, depending on if the cat moves it or not. How old were you when you got chicken pox? Never got it. What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. Do you have full or thinner lips? Uh idk, they look pretty normal to me. Which of the Pirates of the Caribbean's was your favorite? Never watched 'em. Do you press the delete key or the backspace key to get rid of a mistake? Backspace. How far do you live from your parents? I live with one. How many family photos do you have in your home? Like, on display/the walls? A pretty decent amount. Are you happy with how much money you make? I make none, so like... guess. Are you the type of person that will parallel park? Fuck that. To you, what is “the best thing since sliced bread”? Probably the Internet. Do you read and believe your horoscope? No. Do you have rules for naming your future children? I'm not having kids, but if I was to, no. Which actor, in your opinion, played the best Batman? I haven't seen them all. Have you ever TURNED DOWN an invite to a wedding? Why? No. Do you believe people should get married in a church? lol get married wherever the fuck you want. Name a movie everyone else thought was funny, but you couldn’t stand: *shrugs* Does the mall you go to have an arcade? Do you go in there? No. What is your favorite Little Debbie snack? This is ACTUALLY impossible. Don't ask me this question lmao. Got any interesting wigs? I don't have any wigs. What Mario game was your least favorite, and why? I've literally only ever played Mario Kart. I'm not that interested in the games. Have you ever been snowed in? Not to where like, we couldn't go outside. Does playing games in 2-D bother you because you now play mostly 3-D games? Oh no. Graphics absolutely do not make a game. Sure, they're more desirable considering it greatly improves immersion, but still. Sometimes 2D fits the "vibe" of the game. Tell the weirdest name of a town/city you’ve ever heard: Conetoe. You're pronouncing it wrong. Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have a cell phone? I don't think so. Do you like pineapple? Oh yeah. Do you get a flu jab each year? No, but I should start. Did you ever dream about being an animal? Maybe? Idk. What's your favourite colour on a dog? Orange/red. Do you have an electric or gas cooker? Gas. What do you like to drink at a restaurant? I usually get a soda. If we're at some fancy place for once, I'll usually get some light, fruity alcohol. What was the last book you read that also is a film? I don't have a clue. Have you always known what you've wanted to do with your life, career-wise? It's changed many, many times now. Would you stay at a haunted hotel? Hell yeah. What is the best HAND-MADE present you've ever received? It was this long, extremely sweet letter my mom wrote for my b-day two years back. It meant a lot to me. Have you ever gotten pizza delivered to your house that you didn't order? I don't believe so. Do you follow a 5-second rule after dropping food on the floor? NOOOOOOOOO sir. Did you take Flintstone vitamins or any others as a child? EW, no. We were lucky enough to have fruity chewy ones, not chalky crap. What types of things do you think the government is hiding from us? Oh my fucking god, a universe of information. Aliens probably being one of the least scary things. How do you like your soda: I think it tastes best cold from a can. Have you learned anything valuable today? No. What's your favorite kind of Doritos? Cool Ranch. Do your parents have MySpace pages? Mom has a Facebook. Be honest...ever peed in the pool? Noooo. When I was a kid, you went behind the pool and handled that. Have you ever pulled a fire alarm? Nope. Have you had your tonsils removed? No. Isn't Chef Boyardee awesome? Not a fan. What reality show has been taken WAY too far? I don't watch enough TV for this. Must you grab a souvenir from almost everywhere you go? Nah, not always. Did you enjoy making things out of Play-Doh as a child? I did. What do you put on hot dogs? Mustard and ketchup. Can you swim? Yeah. Hot dogs or cheeseburgers? Cheeseburgers. Your favorite hobby? Taking pictures, particularly of animals. Do you wear glasses? Yes. Do you have a phobia? Plenty. Can you drive a stick? Never tried. How many TVs are in your house? Two. Do you like to sing? Not very long. Favorite car? Idc. Is there anything (out of the obvious) that makes you feel really ill? Perhaps, but I'm not certain. Maybe some smell. WELL WAIT, gasoline can give me a real headache, but I don't feel like, REALLY sick. Do you know both of your biological parents? Which one do you prefer? Yes, and I don't want to choose between them. When was the last time you wrote so much your finger ached? My final exam for Writing last semester. What is something you think about yourself that nobody agrees with? Quite honestly, I wouldn't put extreme emphasis on my loyalty, but only because if you prove to me that you're undeserving of my friendship, trust, or anything like that, peace. I'm out. Family, friend, whatever; I don't care. Yet most people who know me have pointed out I'm extremely loyal, but really in all cases I can think of, I remained loyal because the person was worthy of it. What about something people think of you that you don’t agree with? This depends on the person and situation of course, but mostly, that I put on a damn good front of not being a socially anxious mess. Teachers and friends have pointed that out quite a bit, but I could NOT disagree more. I think I do awfully. What design is on your calendar this year? I don't have a current one. What is your favorite type of video game? Horror. What’s the weather like where you live? (All year round, not today) The baseline is IT'S HOT. Even our winters are - usually - very mild. Summer usually soaks the shit out of us; afternoon storms are literally an almost daily occurrence, so as you can imagine, the humidity could kill a man. The weather in general is very unpredictable year-round. When was the last time you climbed a tree? I've never actually properly done so. I grew up with almost exclusively pine trees, which only have branches much too high to climb.

[kcwcommentary]

VLD6x06 – “All Good Things”

6x06 – “All Good Things”

For me, the title “All Good Things” is a cliché. Unfortunately, that hints at the many clichés that are in the writing of this episode.

As we continue to finish Lotor’s story, this show continues to offend me with its declaration that Lotor, as an abuse victim, is as bad as his abuser. It infuriates me that this is the message the show chose to send through this story. I imagine that the EPs and the writers weren’t even aware they were doing so, but that does not absolve them of doing it. I haven’t read or seen every interview with them, so maybe they apologized for doing so, but I don’t know of them having done so.

We start in the Black Lion’s psychic space with Shiro repeating Keith’s name, and Keith opening his eyes. His opening his eyes here would have worked better if the last we saw of him in the previous episode was him closing his eyes. However, last episode ended with him opening his eyes, sort of symbolizing a psychological awakening, so him beginning this episode by opening his eyes feels off. The way last episode ended, there was a resignation in Keith. Shiro’s clone was unconscious, the facility was destroyed, and Keith and Shiro were plummeting toward the planet. It was a slow, dramatic, interestingly peaceful moment. But now, this episode is ignoring that tone and feels like it’s resetting Keith’s mental state to the anger and aggression he had during the fight, not to the calm he had as he fell with Shiro’s clone at the end of last episode. The beginning of this episode is not matching up well with the end of last episode.

Shiro’s spirit appears to Keith. He’s calm and quiet as he talks.

“The thing that attacked you wasn’t me,” Shiro says. I really do not like that they have him call the clone a “thing.” That “thing” was someone who the Black Lion sensed across great distance and directed Keith to save back in 3x05 “The Journey.” It would have been nice had this show not ignored or forgotten this (honestly, I can very much imagine the EPs and writers of this show truly forgetting what story they’ve told earlier in the show). The Black Lion also let the clone pilot her. The Black Lion would not have directed Keith to rescue the clone nor let the clone pilot her if she considered the clone to be an evil thing.

Shiro says that he’s been here in this psychic space since the fight with Zarkon at the end of season two. “My physical form was gone,” and the show never bothers to explain what happened to Shiro’s body, nor how he died.

“I tried to warn the others about the imposter while on Olkarion, but our connection was not strong enough,” Shiro says as his image fades and disappears. I’ll say that it seems reasonable that he would have a hard time connecting to them since the others have demonstrated through their actions that they don’t really think of Shiro as a friend.

Keith opens his eyes and he’s inside the Black Lion. “You saved us,” Keith quietly says to Black. Us! Not just Keith. The Black Lion has again saved the clone! He’s laying nearby, unconscious but reactive enough to slightly groan. The EPs and the writers want us to think that the clone is evil. They write that into the dialog of the characters. They just had the spirit of Shiro call the clone a “thing.” But the Black Lion saved the clone again! This means something, and the show totally ignores it in its push to call the clone evil. This is something the show absolutely should have addressed, but they couldn’t because it would undermine their premise that the clone was not a person that is used to justify having the Paladins use the clone’s body without any debate about the ethics of doing so.

Coran, Hunk, and Pidge are working on the Castle to the get the ship working again. Allura is visibly experiencing emotional distress. Lance seems to notice, but he doesn’t say anything at first. Krolia and Romelle have just been standing off to the side until Krolia announces she’ll go help with repairs and Romelle follows her. Why weren’t they helping to begin with? Lance takes the opportunity to ask Allura if she’s okay.

She says she’s angry at herself for “play[ing] right into Lotor’s hands.” Of course, I don’t blame her since I blame the EPs and the writers for purposefully writing Lotor as if he was a character undergoing a transformational arc specifically so that they could claim a cheap plot twist of saying he was evil all along. Lance says, “You didn’t put us in this situation. It was Shiro who went rogue and released the virus in the Castle.” I know they don’t yet know about the clone, but it still bothers me hearing them talk about Shiro like this.

Allura goes on about how she trusted Lotor but shouldn’t have and about how she doesn’t think she can trust herself now. While these are valid feelings for her to have given what has happened in the story, I’m stilled aggravated by it because it’s all coming from the EPs’ and writers’ efforts to manipulate the audience by writing Lotor to be a good person for most of his time on the show.

“I had more reason than anyone not to trust him,” Lance says. Thus, the show says that Lance feeling intense jealousy over Allura being with Lotor was right. Allura responds by hugging Lance. Lance’s jealousy is justified, and he’s rewarded with a moment of getting-the-girl for it. Ugh!

Keith establishes communication with the Castle and informs Allura and Lance that Shiro was a clone. He also tells them he’s detected that Lotor’s ships are heading back to them, but it will take time for him to get to them. They’ll have to hold off Lotor without him. Keith tries asking the spirit of Shiro to help him get to the others. The Black Lion’s wing is still sparking. This sparking first started as a depiction of damage from a fight, so its continual sparking should be setting up something to happen, like the wing exploding or Black losing all propulsion or something, but nothing ever comes of it. It’s not necessary to explain Black being too far away to get to the others before the battle starts, so if that’s what it’s supposed to be signifying, then it’s pointless.

Allura narrates, “Accessing the quintessence field has been Lotor’s singular drive for millennia. He wants to harness the power for himself.” I have a hard time dealing with this switch the show has flipped in Lotor’s motivation. The show made the situation more complicated in a really good way by having Lotor argue that using the rift as a source of quintessence would allow him to move the Galra away from taking quintessence from living creatures. With the show’s twist that Lotor’s a villain all along, what was a great complication is now ignored and replaced with a simplistic, selfish desire for power. By having this twist with Lotor, the show has narrowed and made the current primary antagonist generic. Allrua says the Paladins have to destroy the gate at the opening to the rift.

Ugh. Lotor tells Ezor and Zethrid, “My deepest apologies for lying to you both. But in order to gain the Princess’s trust and make the Paladins of Voltron believe we were truly at odds, it had to be done.” By now having Lotor talk like a generic villain, he becomes far less interesting. That the EPs and writers think this is interesting baffles me. Having Lotor talk like this now feels fake. This is just not the same character they’ve written since at least 4x06 “A New Defender.” And it makes the title of that episode a total lie, proof of the EPs’ audience manipulation.

Titles function as a promise, almost like a thesis statement, about the content of the story so titled. But this show did not use that title as a promise, it was purposefully a deception used against the audience. Allura earlier talked about how she shouldn’t have trusted Lotor, and how she doesn’t think she can trust herself now. Well, this whole Lotor-is-a-villain-all-along plot twist tells the audience that we should not trust the EPs and writers of this show. What makes this particularly infuriating is that the EPs and writers clearly think that they were clever with this plot twist. It feels more amateurish to me than anything even slightly resembling clever.

I’m not quite sure why Allura thinks she can have the Lions blow up the gate and it’ll destroy the rift. I understand that she feels the need to do something, and there’s little she can do at this point. But we know her plan to destroy the gate will not get rid of the rift opening. One, the narrative doesn’t tell this little bit of story significantly enough to make it have the tonality of a conclusion. But also, we know the history of this rift opening. We know that Alfor destroyed Daibazaal trying to destroy the rift opening, and yet it has continued to exist for 10,000 years.

The fact that this rift opening has persisted is unexplained though. When we had the “comet” having opened a rift in 3x04 “Hole in the Sky,” that rift closed as soon as Voltron pulled the “comet” through the rift opening into this reality. So, what held this rift at Daibazaal open for 10,000 years? Also, given Honerva’s obsession with the rift, why has she never come back here to work with it over those 10,000 years?

Hunk says, “The last time we fought Lotor, we had five ships and Lotor had two, and he still kicked our butts. This time, he’s going to have three ships, and we’re only going to have four.” I guess technically true since Lotor was unconscious last episode when the whole of Voltron fought all three of Lotor’s ships, but it still feels like Hunk’s statement is wrong since they fought all three ships.

Coran is given an extended repair sequence. It’s nice that the show is giving Coran something to do since they’ve barely used him the past several seasons. He finds an old tool kit from his grandfather.

Lotor’s ships arrive.

Allura yells at Lotor, “You enslaved countless Alteans. Harnessed their life source for your own personal gain. How many innocent lives did you destroy?”

He responds, “It’s true, many Alteans perished in my quest to unlock the mysteries of quintessence. But I protected thousands more, and I rescued their culture. Our culture.” We’ve been told by the narrative that we’re not supposed to trust anything Lotor has ever said or will say again. The problem is that by writing this dialog, the show reminds us of Lotor’s argument. And the thing is, despite the show declaring him to be a lying villain, he’s not wrong here.

This makes me think of the issue of energy production. Some Alteans, for some never properly explained reason, have the ability to produce more quintessence than most other lifeforms. This is part of the problem with this show never properly defining its magic system. The show never explains what quintessence is. It’s always generic as just some miscellaneous life energy. But why can some Alteans create more of it than everyone else? And what does it say about the position of privilege that their ability to do so grants them? Or at least, the privilege that it gives Allura. She uses quintessence to power her ship all the time. The show never explores that Lotor and the Galra’s desire for quintessence to power their civilization gives them a valid point of critique against Allura. Why does she get to have a source of energy that benefits just her and the few she chooses to use it for? This is not to say that it’s okay for the Galra to produce quintessence by taking it from other life forms. Lotor himself has said as much, that he wants to transition the Galra off of this method of energy production. That’s been his whole point in trying to get quintessence from the rift.

Part of why this conclusion to Lotor’s story is so unfulfilling is because the show does not resolve this argument. I even wonder if the show realizes it’s made this argument. I can easily imagine that the EPs and writers saw Lotor’s argument as nothing but a means to trick everyone into letting their guard down. But the problem for them then is that the show still has Lotor make a very valid argument that is never resolved.

Ezor says, “I stopped trying to figure out Lotor’s master plan long ago. Too complicated.” Ezor here is totally lampshading the story; the show is acknowledging that this plot has become too complicated, and they’re essentially asking the audience to ignore it and just move on. This feels like the writers almost admitting that they’re too unskilled to be able to handle writing this story. I imagine there are instances of lampshading in other stories that work and don’t end up feeling like the writers insulting the audience for the audience wanting the story to make sense, but this does not have that effect for me. I want this story to make sense. I want it to be consistent, but it’s not. All this does is point out that the writers know there’s a problem with what they’ve written. It does nothing to fix the problem.

Allura fires first. Lotor orders his team to hold their fire. Lotor tells Allura, “My feelings for you are true, and I know you have feelings for me as well.” Maybe it’s just the voice acting being better than the show’s story arc deserves, but Lotor sounds genuine in what he’s saying. My guess is that the voice actor, maybe even the voice director, believed that what Lotor says is true, but the problem then is that the EPs and the writers have declared it that Lotor is just a deceptive villain.

Allura responds by saying, “You betrayed and used me. You’re more like Zarkon than I could have ever imagined.” In order for her statement to be true, that he did betray and use her, it requires that everything he’s said to her to be a lie. Because his arguments have always been valid, I cannot believe his past statements to Allura to be lies. So, how then has he used her? If his goal is and always has been accessing a source of quintessence to provide energy to the Galra so that he can make the Empire stop producing it through taking it from living creatures, then how has he “betrayed and used” her?

The show does not explain what Lotor’s goal was in harvesting quintessence from the Alteans. It’s used as a demonstration that Lotor is an evil person, so I guess that combined with the show declaring him to be a liar is supposed to make it that he did it as a cliché villain taking life from other people and no deeper explanation was ever crafted by the writers. But again, this runs into the problem of Lotor’s argument about getting quintessence from the rift being totally valid and never invalidated.

Also, I hate what the show does with Allura here. Lotor was abused by his father. We know this. Lotor has talked to Allura about it. And here, they have her tell someone who’s been abused that they are like their abuser. This is cruel. This is the show itself, not just Allura, being offensive. Lotor has demonstrated several times throughout this show that he has vigorously tried to escape his father’s abuse. He has actively worked to do things differently than his father. He has been subject to ridicule from both his father and mother because he’s not full-Galra, while he has rejected that racism and Galra-supremacism by embracing his Altean heritage and accepting Axca, Ezor, Zethrid, and Narti, in defiance of the Galra who condemned him for doing so. In 3x01 “Changing of the Guard,” we learn that unlike Zarkon, Lotor does not adhere to classist discrimination and fights alongside lower ranking soldiers; we see some of Zarkon’s classist discrimination when he condemns Blaytz in 3x07 “The Legend Begins” for flirting with a server at dinner. Lotor specifically told Allura in 5x06 “White Lion” that he envied Alfor being her father because Zarkon never supported his desire to be an explorer. He told her about how he was in charge of a planet, how Zarkon got angry that Lotor let the population there rule themselves, how Zarkon ordered Lotor to destroy the planet, and when Lotor refused, Zarkon did so himself. Lotor is not like Zarkon. It is absolutely cruel for the show to write Allura saying this. And it’s offensive to those of us who have been subject to parental abuse. Through Allura’s condemnation of Lotor, the show is saying that no matter how much we try, we will not only never escape the abuse, we’ll become as horrible as those who abused us.

The show then goes generic villain by having Lotor criticize Alfor for being “too weak.” He orders his team to destroy the Lions. They all start fighting. I have to say that there is definitely something wrong with the writing when I’m actually on the antagonist’s side instead of the protagonist’s.

Coran does whatever ultimately miscellaneous thing he does to get the Castle back up and running. It’s a moment that is played for humor, but given the tension of the moment, of the dialog between Lotor and Allura, this is not the time for humor. This show has a recurrent problem with tonality dissonance like this.

Lotor says, “Once I wipe out Voltron, I’m going to start a new Altea. An Altea that will never know Princess Allura or King Alfor. Nor will they know the Lions of Voltron. All they will know is me, their great leader! I’m ready to wipe the universe clean of all my enemies: Voltron, Haggar, and the rest of the Galra!” The show now has Lotor screaming like a cliché maniacal villain. Ugh. This last line shocks Ezor, Zethrid, and Axca. How they’re surprised that Lotor views Galra culture as highly toxic and one that has been cruel to anyone who isn’t full-Galra, I don’t know. It’s not like the Galra Empire hasn’t discriminated against the three of them for their being only part-Galra.

Axca says, “I think it’s time for us to sever our ties to Lotor for good.” The EPs and writers of this show cannot ever decide on where Lotor’s generals’ loyalty actually lies, can they? By switching that allegiance around so damn much, I’m left confused. I’m tired of having to try to figure out what Ezor, Zethrid, and Axca’s motivations are. With these characters, I feel like I’m being jerked around.

As they take two of Lotor’s ships away from battle, Lotor responds, “Even my generals betray me.” Since the EPs have said in an interview that their goal with Lotor was to have him end up being like Azula from Avatar the Last Airbender, this moment and this line is clearly supposed to be a copy of Azula breaking down after Mai and Ty Lee turn against her. This moment reminding me of that interview causes me again to think about how amateurish it is for the EPs and writers to build their characters by trying to copy characters from other shows. They inadvertently cause me to compare Lotor to Azula while watching this episode. What Azula went through in the end of AtLA was written with a great deal of respect for her character. Her viciousness is condemned, but the last we see of her in AtLA is Azula experiencing severe psychological anguish, crying, and Zuko and Katara looking on with expressions of pain and sympathy for Azula. With how this show ends Lotor’s character, and the EPs saying that he was supposed to be like Azula in the end, I have to think that they totally missed what made the conclusion of Azula’s character poignant. In the end for Lotor, he’s just a screaming maniacal villain.

Lotor takes over the other two ships and ejects his generals from them. He then combines his three ships into Sincline. It’s been a long while since this show has had a mecha versus mecha battle.

Pidge reacts, saying, “What is that thing!?” This is not the first mecha she’s seen in this show, so this response is silly. Allura says, “That is why he was using me. I helped him build it.” The ability for it to physically combine has nothing to do with the quintessence-imbuing alchemy that Allura did. If what Allura did is what enabled this to happen, I would think she would have noticed that she was doing it. Also, the show has very much already established that what she did was make the ships capable of entering the rift. So, this is just more inconsistent writing. Hunk comments, “Well, the good news is that it’s now four-on-one.” I genuinely laughed.

Sincline attacks the Lions. Coran has the Castle shoot Sincline, but Sincline eventually returns fire. The two blasts do the cliché opposing beams directly clashing with one another until eventually one overpowers the other thing. Sincline hits the Castle. Pidge reacts by saying, “Impossible! Lotor’s weapon has completely repelled the Castle’s attack!” One, we can already see that his weapon has done so, so that dialog does not add literally anything to the show. Two, who thought having her proclaim something we just saw happen to be “impossible” is good writing? It’s cliché at best, but even if it wasn’t cliché, it still wouldn’t be good dialog.

Meanwhile, Keith is listening to communications of the battle. He starts begging Shiro to help him. His screaming Shiro’s name is a bit too much, causing the moment to totally fall over into excessive melodrama, which despite the intended purpose of melodrama actually causes the moment to lose emotion, not gain it. Keith appears in the psychic space again, and Shiro puts his hand on Keith’s shoulder. Shiro tells Keith to see through the Lion’s eyes. He repeats his advice to Keith from back in season one: “Patience yields focus.”

The music in this moment is really nice.

Keith’s hands start to glow, he drives the controls forward, and the Black Lion’s wings glow and expand into bigger engines.

The other Lions are floating motionless in space, seemingly lacking power. Lotor’s dialog continues to be cliché villain-speak. Sincline detects the Black Lion incoming, which slams into Sincline as it flies past. Keith orders them to form Voltron. Though I wish they would have occasionally updated the form-Voltron animation, I actually like its use in this moment.

The two mechas are poised for what comes next, the final shot of the episode is great.

I’m left thinking that, even if the show had the same plot points, everything that contributes to how we get to them could have been written so much better. It feels like, due to inexperience and carelessness, the EPs and the writers lost control of the story long before now, but because the plot development inherently has risen the stakes of the story, the failure to sculpt the details causes the story to turn into a blend of clichés and offensive implications. The resolution of Lotor’s story is not one that is fulfilling. It ends up feeling like the EPs and writers destroyed something interesting in order to make something generic from it. Like most of this whole series, it’s the loss of what could have been, the potential the show had, that makes this story so disappointing.