#all my children need therapy *sighs*

[lith-myathar]

.

[bat-mom-writer]

Impulses

Bruce Wayne(Husband) X Reader(Wife)

Summery: you can be very quick to act on your impulse, usually being done with a kind heart. But can sometimes lead to you and some others being hurt.

Note: Something tells me Bruce wouldn't go to therapy, but this isn't real so...

Rate: Loving Bruce, the very small almost of angst

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"So, tell me Bruce, are you happily married?"

"Of course."

"Then why are you here?"

"Well," Bruce pauses, thinking over his words carefully, "it's not exactly that simple."

The therapist's office was quiet, the kind of silence that felt like it was holding its breath. Bruce Wayne sat in a chair that was a little too small for his broad shoulders, his eyes darting to the clock on the wall. It was a simple room, with a few plants scattered around and a faint scent of lavender in the air, but it was the last place he ever thought he'd be. He was a man who dealt with Gotham's problems from the shadows, not one who talked about his own in a well-lit space with a box of tissues within arm's reach.

"How so?" the therapist asked again, her voice gentle but firm, bringing Bruce back to the present.

He sighed. "Well, my wife… she's incredible. She's kind and she's the glue that holds our family together."

The therapist nodded, her expression neutral. "But?"

Bruce leaned back, rubbing his temples. "But she's… impulsive. She does things without considering the consequences, especially when it comes to the boys."

The therapist made a note in her pad. "Could you give me an example?"

Bruce sighed heavily, his mind racing with instances. "Once we went hiking, and she found a baby wolf, injured and alone. She insisted on bringing it back to the manor to care for it herself. Most of my sons thought it would be a great idea—until we realized it had a pack out there looking for it, and suddenly we had a bunch of very unhappy wolves on our backs."

The therapist looked up, raising an eyebrow. "I see. And how did that situation resolve?"

Bruce chuckled, a bit nervously. "Let's just say there were a lot of stitches involved. And I haven't heard anyone wanting to go camping again ever since."

The therapist's eyes widened, but she remained calm. "It seems she has a heart of gold, but maybe a bit of an overactive sense of adventure."

Bruce nodded. "Exactly. And it's not just with animals. She once tried to organize a surprise street carnival in the middle of Gotham because she thought the city needed more joy. You can imagine the chaos that ensued with all the traffic rerouting and permits she didn't bother to get."

The therapist's pen stopped mid-stroke. "Ah, so her intentions are good, but the execution could use some work."

Bruce nodded emphatically. "You have no idea. She's the love of my life, but sometimes I worry she's going to get us all into trouble. The boys look up to her, especially Dick and Damian."

The therapist leaned in slightly. "How do Dick and Damian react to her impulsive nature?"

"Dick tries to be the voice of reason, but he's young and still learning the ropes of being a responsible older brother. And Damian," Bruce sighed, "he's more like me—he's intrigued by the chaos she creates, but he's also the one who ends up getting hurt when things go awry."

The therapist nodded understandingly. "It's natural for children to look up to their parents, especially when they see the love and good intentions behind their actions. But it's also important for them to learn about boundaries and the potential consequences of impulsivity. How does your wife react when you bring this up with her?"

Bruce leaned forward, his expression a mix of affection and exasperation. "She's… well, she's stubborn. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities, and she wants to experience all of them. I get that, I do. But we can't live our lives on the edge like that, especially with the kind of enemies I've made over the years."

The therapist nodded, her gaze thoughtful. "It's a delicate balance, isn't it? Wanting to keep your family safe and also allowing them the freedom to live their lives fully. How have you been managing this?"

Bruce's smile grew a bit wistful. "Well, my wife is also the lively part of our lives. Without her, the manor would be just a fortress, not a home. She brings laughter and light to every room she enters. She's the one who convinced me to let Tim build a skateboard ramp in the garage, and even though it's a hazard to my cars, I can't help but smile when I hear them all out there, having fun."

The therapist nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. "It sounds like you appreciate her spirit, but it's important to establish boundaries to ensure everyone's safety. Have you tried discussing the potential dangers with her?"

Bruce leaned back, his eyes drifting to the floor. "I've tried," he admitted. "But she's… she's like a tornado of love and enthusiasm. It's hard to say no to her."

The therapist nodded, her expression understanding. "It's clear you care deeply for her and the boys. Perhaps it's time to find a way to channel that enthusiasm into safer outlets."

"I know," Bruce said, running a hand through his hair. "But she's so… so alive. It's like trying to cage a butterfly."

The therapist nodded. "It's not about caging her, Bruce. It's about guiding her. Teaching her and the boys to weigh risks and rewards. To channel their energy into something positive without endangering themselves or others."

Bruce sat in silence, contemplating her words. He knew she was right, but it was easier said than done when it came to his vibrant wife. Her zest for life was both infectious and overwhelming at times. He thought back to the street carnival she had organized. The look of joy on the citizens' faces as they played games and ate cotton candy was something he hadn't seen in Gotham in a long time.

"There not all bad," he murmured, a small smile playing on his lips. "Her impulses have led to some amazing moments, too."

"Like what?" the therapist prompted, her curiosity piqued.

Bruce's smile grew as he recalled a recent incident. "Last week, she found out about a fundraising event for an underfunded children's hospital. Without asking, she decided to host a masquerade ball at the manor. She convinced Alfred to help, and together they transformed the place into a fairy tale. The kids had the time of their lives, and we ended up raising a fortune for those kids."

The therapist returned his smile. "That does sound wonderful. It seems her spontaneity has its benefits."

Bruce nodded. "It does. But it's also a double-edged sword. I want to support her, but I also need to keep everyone safe."

The therapist leaned back in her chair. "Communication is key, Bruce. It's about expressing your concerns without squashing her spirit. Have you tried talking to her about how her impulsiveness affects you?"

Bruce sighed, his eyes reflecting the weight of his words. "I've tried, but she takes it personally. She thinks I'm trying to control her."

The therapist nodded, her expression empathetic. "It's a common misconception. Setting boundaries isn't about control; it's about care and safety. Have you framed it that way?"

Bruce furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure. I've usually approached it from the perspective of the danger it could pose to the boys."

"It's important to express your feelings," the therapist said. "Tell her how her actions affect you and why you worry. It might help her understand your perspective better."

Bruce nodded slowly, considering her advice. It was true; he hadn't shared his own fears with her, only the potential risks to the boys. Perhaps that was where he was going wrong.

"Thank you, doctor," he said, rising from his chair. "I'll think about what you've said."

The therapist stood and offered a warm smile. "Remember, Bruce, it's about balance. And sometimes, that means taking a risk to find it."

Bruce nodded, her words echoing in his mind as he left the office and stepped into the Gotham night. The city was alive with the pulse of its inhabitants, a stark contrast to the calmness he'd just left behind. His thoughts were racing, trying to find a way to bridge the gap between his need for security and his wife's boundless spirit.

As he drove back to Wayne Manor, the grandeur of the estate came into view, the gothic architecture a stark contrast to the chaos of the city beyond its gates. The manor was more than just a home; it was a bastion of hope in a city that desperately needed it. The lights were on in the windows, a warm glow that promised sanctuary from the cold outside.

When he walked in, the smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air. You was in the kitchen, humming to yourself as you pulled a tray out of the oven. You turned to him, your face lighting up with a smile that never failed to melt his heart. "Hi, honey! How was your day?"

Bruce took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he knew he had to have. "It was… interesting," he said, trying to keep his tone light. "How about yours?"

"Oh, you know," you replied with a shrug, placing the cookies on a rack to cool. "Just the usual—keeping the boys out of trouble, planning the next big surprise for them." you winked at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Bruce felt a twinge of both fondness and dread. He knew that look all too well. It was the look you got when she had another harebrained scheme up your sleeve. He walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into an embrace. "How about we talk about these surprises together from now on?"

You tilted your head back, your smile fading a bit. "What do you mean?"

Bruce took a deep breath. "I mean, I know you love surprising the boys, and I love that about you. But sometimes, your surprises have… unintended consequences. I want to be there to support you, but I also need to make sure everyone is safe."

You leaned back, looking up at him with a slightly defensive expression. "Not all of my surprises turn out bad," you said, your voice a bit softer than before.

Bruce felt his heart squeeze at the sight of you, flour smudged on your cheek and apron, looking so earnest. He gave a tight smile, trying to ease the tension. But his face was screaming, "Are you sure?"

You took a step back, "Okay, okay, maybe most of them," you conceded. "But the good ones make up for it, right?"

Bruce sighed, his arms dropping to his sides. "They do," he agreed. "But it's the potential for danger that I can't ignore. And not just for the boys, but for you too."

You rolled your eyes, brushing off the flour on your apron. "Me? I'm fine. I can handle myself."

Bruce's grip on your shoulders tightened slightly. "You know what I mean," he said, his voice serious. "How many times have you ended up in the hospital because of one of your… adventures?"

You winced, remembering the last time you had tried to rescue a cat stuck in a tree, only to end up with a broken arm and a bruised ego. "Okay, okay," you repeated, holding up your hands in surrender. "I get it. I can be a bit… much."

Bruce's expression softened, his eyes searching yours. "You're not 'much', you're amazing. I just don't want to lose you."

You took a deep breath, the weight of his words settling in. "I know," you said, your voice small. "But what about you? You're not much different, Bruce. Maybe even worse. You go out every night as Batman, risking your life."

He stepped back, his expression unreadable. "That's different," he said firmly. "That's for the city."

"Is it?" you asked, looking up at him with a hint of challenge in your eyes. "Or is it because you've convinced yourself that it's your duty? That you're the only one who can do it?"

Bruce's jaw tightened at your question. It was a fair point, one he'd wrestled with in the quiet moments of his life. He knew that his crusade as Batman was driven by his own fears and the need to keep the city that had taken his parents safe. But he also knew that the stakes were higher for him than they were for you.

"I've been trained for that," he said finally. "You… you have the biggest heart in the world, but sometimes you don't think about the risks."

You nodded, looking down at the cookies cooling on the rack. "I know," you murmured. "But it's just so hard to resist when I see something that could bring joy to people, especially the boys."

Bruce stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on your cheek. "I know your heart's in the right place," he said. "But we can't keep playing Russian roulette with our lives, not when we have so much to lose. I don't want to lose you. Or see you get hurt. I'm just asking, please, consider the risks before you act. And come to me, talk to me, let's find a way to make this work."

You searched his eyes, the gravity of his words sinking in. You knew he wasn't trying to stifle you; he was just worried. "Okay," you whispered, leaning into his touch. "I'll try."

Bruce's expression relaxed a bit, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "Thank you," he said softly. "Now, how about we sit down and talk about what's been on your mind? Maybe we can come up with some ideas together."

You nodded, swiping a strand of hair from your forehead. "Alright, I'll finish up on the cookies and then we can talk. Until then, want to help? Just to make sure I don't hurt myself?"

Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood. "Sure," he said, taking the spatula from your hand. "Let's do this together."

As you both worked side by side in the kitchen, the tension began to ease. You chatted about the different flavors of cookies and which ones the boys would like best, while Bruce carefully placed the finished ones on a plate. The rhythm of your conversation was soothing, and it reminded him of the first time he had met you—how your laugh had filled a room and made him feel alive again.

[actuallysaiyan]

Stay With Me(Sugar Daddy!Enji Todoroki x Fem!Sugar Baby!Reader)

warnings: smut, angst, swearing, heart break, sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship, post time skip in MHA, Enji has a prosthetic arm, Enji and Rei are divorced, Touya lives!, power dynamics, unprotected sex, kissing, slight dark themes, abandonment,

word count: 3.2k

pairings: Sugar Daddy!Enji Todoroki x Fem!Sugar Baby!Reader

summary: Enji gets the idea to hire a sugar baby, and while he thinks it's a good idea, he didn't think he'd develop feelings for her. instead of trying to work through these new feelings, he pushes her away.

a/n: for my little fic trade with @cherryblossombankai!! I hope you'll enjoy this mess!

dividers: @adornedwithlight

taglist: @thissaintjessi.  @cherryblossombankai , @thestarsystemsworld @pixelcafe-network

It had been his oldest son’s idea. They were all a little worried about him; his children thought about how this would affect his psyche. Rei had been right to leave. It wasn’t about the war, the fighting or even anything else. It was about her own feelings and her own want to pursue something different in life.

This left Enji with a lot of alone time. He enjoyed it at first. He finally felt like he could work on atoning for the hurt and the sins. He could self-reflect and think about how he was going to become a better father, a better hero, a better friend. Of course, he wasn’t doing the pro hero work anymore, but he was wondering how he could use his old image as a way to help out with charities.

And of course, since Touya had recovered from their last encounter, he’s been helping Touya become a member of society. It had been tough at first, considering how much damage he had done to his first born. But slowly, they were able to make amends and even attend therapy together. Touya felt like he could actually be a part of this world and Enji felt like he would be able to help his son through these tough times.

So when Touya came up to him one afternoon with his bright idea, Enji was very curious. Though, he had to admit that he wasn’t expecting it to be this.

“You should find someone to keep you company,” Touya says between bites of his dinner.

“That’s why you live with me, son.” Enji concludes.

Touya laughs, “Nah dad…you need to get laid. Come on, I know you do. It’s the only thing missing in your miserable life.”

This last comment causes Enji to spit out his drink. Did he hear that correctly? It had certainly been some time since he last had sex, but it wasn’t the first thing on his mind. Enji sighs softly before wiping his mouth off with a napkin.

“I don’t think that’s any of your concern.” He finally says to Touya.

Touya shrugs. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is that you could find yourself a little honey. I know of this app that connects you with—”

“I’m not going to fucking download some stupid dating app!”

And with that, dinner was over. Touya had pushed his buttons a bit too much and Enji went to bed miserable that night. He was lonely. He was tired of his bed feeling so damn cold. It was sad and pathetic. Here he was, nearing his mid-fifties and he had nobody to share this life with other than his oldest son who would one day leave the nest.

So the next day, he asked Touya for the app. Touya didn’t say anything more than give him tips on how to set up the profile.

Enji met with a number of young women. It was for a sugar baby, which he didn’t realize at first. But it suited him just fine. All he had to do was give the girl a little spending money and she’d go out on dates with him and fuck him. Truly it was the perfect solution to his loneliness. 

A lot of the young women were thrilled to be matched with former pro hero Endeavor. Some of them were disgusted. Then there were some who were just in it for the money. Still, he craved a little connection. Something to let him know he still meant something to someone.

When he met you, he found you so alluring. You were young, sweet and definitely beautiful. You made him laugh, which was a first during all these stupid dates. And he made you laugh, which made his stomach flip every time he heard it. Despite this, things were a bit more rocky than you had anticipated the first few times you two got together.

There were some ground rules you had to follow. After your initial date to get to know one another, Enji laid down the law with you.

“I don’t want you seeing anyone else. Mostly due to a safety thing…” he didn’t want to admit that he’d get jealous if you were to see someone else while seeing him. “If I call you or text you, I expect you to come to me as soon as possible.”

You nodded your head, surprised to hear him be this firm and disciplinary with you after such a fun first date together.

“This is the allotted allowance for now.” He slides over a folded piece of paper. “There are certain things I expect of you, but we don’t have to do the relationship thing.”

This surprised you in some ways. But who were you to judge him? You had initially joined to help pay your college debt. Still, you wanted some sort of companionship. Enji lists off the expectations to you: to keep him satisfied, to join him during special events and hero galas, to go on dates with him from time to time.

“Any money I send to you, I want you to use portions of it to buy yourself cute outfits.” He finally concludes the meeting. He hands you a wad of cash without looking back at you. 

You’re beginning to wonder what you got yourself into.

It starts off fairly easy. He asks you to come over a few times, but it only leads to kissing. He doesn’t even really look you in the eyes. It just seems too intimate for him, and he can’t handle the way you look at him. No, he fucking hates the way you look at him like he’s actually worth something. He fucking hates that you treat him like an actual human and not this disgraced man.

You get to know Touya fairly well, which doesn’t surprise you. He’s around your age, which does make things a little weird. But neither him nor Enji make it awkward for you. Touya knows you’re there to help his father transition into a different part of his life.

The first time Enji invites you out on a real date, you feel nervous about it. It’s the first time since your first meeting that you two will be going out. You’re not surprised to find a delivery person at your door an hour later with a huge bouquet of roses and a beautiful dress just for you. The card is signed by Enji.

He charms you in so many ways. He makes you question every single thing. He’s such an enigma, and you know he’s worth cracking the code. Deep down inside, you knew you were starting to fall for the traumatized man.

After the date, he invites you back to his place. And he’s rough with you. He kisses you like he’s never kissed someone in his life. It’s teeth clashing and tongues wrestling for dominance. He bends you over the side of the couch, lifting up the skirt of the dress he bought for you.

“You’ve been a good girl so far,” he growls in your ear as he pumps one of his fingers into you. You gasp at the sudden stretch. “Why don’t you let me show you how a real man makes love?”

The words that you were about to say get stuck in your throat as Enji curls his fingers deep inside of you. Your knees buckle and you’re very happy that he has you bent over the couch because you weren’t going to be able to stand up on your own two feet. You gasp once again when the big man kneels down behind you and begins lapping at your went cunt like it’s his last meal.

You’ve never had anyone push you to the edge quite like Enji does. And when you’re barely recovered from that earth shattering orgasm, he’s pushing into you from behind. It’s a rough pace to begin with, but it slowly gets more passionate. He pulls you to be flush against his chest, pressing kisses to your neck and shoulders.

“So beautiful…” he grunts in your ear. “So fucking perfect.”

He makes you cum a few more times before finishing on your ass and back. He doesn’t look you in the eyes when he throws the washcloth in your hands. Then he hands you his credit card, leaving you to get dressed and out of the house all by yourself.

The weeks that follow are even lonelier than before you met Enji. He only sends you money. He doesn’t ask for you to come see him anymore. It’s almost like he’s ashamed of himself and ashamed of what transpired between you two. It breaks your heart to think of him all alone in his bed,

You try to continue on with your life, but you have become quite attached to the older man. You remember the way you made each other laugh during that first meeting. You had butterflies in your tummy every time you thought about that. You know that deep down, Enji Todoroki is quite the charming man who is very much worthy of love.

Still, the days go by and you barely hear from him. You wonder if maybe the arrangement has been called off. You try to reach him, but you get no answer. The money comes in dribs and drabs, but nothing concrete. You finally gain the courage to message Touya.

The news that comes from Touya isn’t surprising, but it does break your heart. Apparently since that night, Enji has been locking himself in his room most days and not coming out. He’s been hiding from the world. The oldest Todoroki son doesn’t know what to make of it, but he has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with you.

“Look, can you just come over and talk to him? He’s just not doing well.”

How could you deny this? You get ready to head out to their place. You don’t know what to expect when you get there, but you’re hoping you can help out. Touya opens the door and he leads you to his father’s bedroom.

Quietly you knock. Your heart is in your throat. The door swings open and there stands the man you’ve developed feelings for. He looks worse for wear. His eyes narrow when he sees you. You’ve never seen him this disheveled before. He’s not even wearing his prosthetic arm.

“What the hell are you doing here? Didn’t you get the message?!” He snaps angrily. “I don’t want you around anymore!”

“B-but you never said that to me! You just stopped talking to me. Dropped me like I was yesterday’s news.”

He scoffs, “Quit the dramatics! You knew what this was. You know what you are to me.”

This breaks your heart. He might as well have hit you. It’s what it feels like. Despite knowing what this started as, you had hopes that maybe it would turn into something more. Maybe you and Enji would fall in love, but it’s not the way it’s going at all. It’s turning into a complete nightmare.

You sniffle and try to hide your tears. “If that’s how you feel, then I’ll stop bothering you.”

You leave the house, your heart heavy. It’s not the outcome you wanted, but it’s the outcome that happened. Maybe sometime down the line, you and Enji could fall in love and be happy. Or maybe you’d stay apart and move on with your lives.

Slowly, despite your broken heart, you move on. You find other things in your life. You meet new people. You get away from the sugar baby scene and you begin to see things from a different perspective. You missed Enji, yes, but things were different now. You were a different woman.

It was months later when you caught a glimpse of him. You two just happened to be at the same grocery store. He looks better than the last time you saw him. There’s something inside of you that desperately wants to go talk to him, but you know it’ll probably only cause trouble. So you let it slide, hiding your pain by leaving the store before he even spots you.

This begins to happen a bit more. You see Enji while you’re out and about. He seems happier than the last time you saw him. You wonder if maybe he’s seeing someone new. Someone who could treat him well and love him in the way he deserved. As much as you wish for that person to be you, you think you’ve missed your chance. You should have been more attentive to his needs.

Eventually, you accidentally bump into him. Your heart races in your chest when your body hits into the mass of muscles. His eyes widen and he smiles softly. There’s a pink tinge on his cheeks. It’s been almost a whole year since the last time you two talked.

“H-hi…” you offer shyly.

He smiles again. “Hi, how are you?”

This causes the two of you to begin gravitating towards one another. You two stand in the aisle at the grocery store and talk to one another like you were two old friends and not a sugar baby and her former sugar daddy. It tugged at your heartstrings like nothing else could. You were wondering if you could ever get over Enji Todoroki.

“Hey, want to go for coffee sometime?” He says, reaching over to gently brush some hair from your face.

You nod your head. “Yeah! I’d love that.”

A week from that day, you stand in front of one of your favorite cafes waiting for Enji. He arrives soon after, a bouquet of roses in his hands. Your eyes widen when you look at him. He seems almost completely different from the sad man you used to know. He kisses your cheek softly, handing you the bouquet.

Coffee goes well. You’re really surprised by how soft and sweet this man is. When you were his sugar baby, things didn’t go quite the way you wanted. It was always a little more awkward than you had anticipated. But now it felt like you two were getting along in a totally different way.

When he drops you off later on, you two make plans to see each other again. But when the day comes, he completely stands you up. You feel broken hearted. How could he do this to you again? How could he reach into your chest and rip your heart out again when you thought this could be different for you two?

You weren’t going to let him off easy. You make your way to his house by taxi. You’re fuming as you think of all the things you’re going to tell him. As you try to keep a levelhead, you know you’re going to explode.

Touya is the one who lets you in. He’s surprised to see you. He has a million and one questions, but he knows he can wait to ask you. This isn’t what’s important now. Based on the look on your face and how you stormed past him to get to Enji’s room, there is something else going on.

And you begin to slam your fist on Enji’s bedroom door. When he opens it, he’s shocked to see you. He figured you would have just forgotten about this old man. It’s what he deserves. He shouldn’t be allowed to even try to have something of a normal relationship with you.

“How dare you!? How fucking dare you, Enji Torodoki?! You keep fucking ripping my heart out of my chest.” There are tears streaming down your cheeks now.

“You shouldn’t be here!” He yells. “You’re supposed to just fucking forget about me!”

Both of you are angry. The tension is so high right now. You’re practically shaking as the words he said really hit you. You were supposed to just forget about him? How could you forget about the man who actually made you feel something instead of the steady numbness that life provides?

You push yourself against him, your chest mashing itself into his now-doughy body. He wasn’t nearly as muscular as he used to be. He looks at himself as this complete failure. He’s not meant to be loved.

“Enji Todoroki, I fucking love you. Do you understand me?! I love you!”

It’s all he needs to hear before he’s picking you up and pulling you into a heated kiss. He’s hungry as he kisses you, but it’s a little slower this time. It’s like he wants to memorize the taste and feel of you. Hurriedly, he pulls you into his bedroom and closes the door.

You’re pushed onto the bed, and you grab him by the collar of his shirt. He laughs softly when he lands on top of you, slightly crushing you. But it feels oh-so good. You never want this moment to end. You run your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly as he leans back in to kiss you. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“I love you too,” he pants between heated kisses. “I was so stupid to hurt you over and over again. I just couldn’t bring myself to drag you down to my level. You deserve the world.”

You shake your head. “You’re the one I want. Can’t you see that?”

He cups your face in his hands, using his thumbs to brush away your tears. Enji continues to kiss you over and over, pulling your clothes off with a needy haste. You do the same, making sure to spend extra time caressing his body. He feels old and worn out and washed up, but the way you touch him reminds him that maybe he can be loved.

Enji spends a long time kissing you all over. His tongue soothes over every little inch of your body. You can’t believe this is happening. It feels like heaven just to have him touching you in this way. When he finally has you ready to take him, you’re more than ready.

He slides into you slowly, watching your face contort into pure pleasure. Enji wants to commit this look into his mind for all eternity. Because that to him proves that he can do something right. He ruts into you deeply, but slowly. Every thrust is full of longing and love and need that neither of you could even put into words.

Your wrap your legs around him, pulling him into you even deeper. He smiles before burying his face in the crook of your neck. Enji places little love bites all over your tender flesh as he brings you to orgasm. The sounds you make just for him are what push him even further to his own peak.

“C-can I…inside?” He asks, his tone almost bashful.

You nod eagerly. “Please daddy.”

You watch as his eyes roll back and he growls. His body tenses as he begins to shoot his seed deep inside of you, and then he slowly stills. He holds onto you like you’re about to disappear.

“I love you, I always have. I was a dumb old man and made you feel like you weren’t good enough.” He finally confesses. “But I won’t ever do it anymore. No more…”

You kiss him back, smiling. “I love you too, Enji. I trust you.”

He contents himself with holding you close, running his fingers through your hair. Tomorrow, he’ll make it all up to you. He promises from this day forward, he’s going to show you that he can be a better man.

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

[queen-of-reptiles]

𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙳

description: In which leah's rockstar girlfriend shows the england girls how to really put on a performance

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leah williamson x female reader

disclaimer: this is all fiction! Do not take any of this seriously.

warnings: language, cute leah, some suggestive jokes

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y/n just posted

liked by lucybronze, keirawalsh and 8.9 million others

tagged lionesses,

y/n ready to put on a show ;)

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username1: CUTEEEEEE 😍😍

username2: I love how much the Lionesses love her - my heart 🥺🥺

username3: ❤️❤️❤️

leahwilliamsonn: always ready for you my girl <3

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y/n: my baby <3

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username4: 🥺🥺

lucybronze: excited !!!!!!

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y/n: SAME!!!!!

stanwaygeorgia: you better do 'hooked'! 😡

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y/n: 😏😏

username5: WHOOOOOO!! 👏👏👏

alessiarusso99: AHHHHHH

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ellatoone: AHHHHHH

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Lj10: AHHHHHH

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y/n: oh my children!

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username6: 🥺🥺

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username7: CUTE

username8: I don't really see the hype about her shows 🤷‍♀️

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username9: Okay????? The off you fuck! 🖕

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username10: hahahahahahah 😂

1maryearps: Gonna be a good night!

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racheldaly3: A great night!

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mbrighty04: The best night!

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y/n: ffs !

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username11: ahahahaHAHAH

username12: 😍😍😍

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y/n grinned as she sucked a deep breath through her nose, her breathing slightly out of pace from all the jumping as she slid her guitar strap over her shoulder, fixing the instrument to her.

"Okay, I know ya'll love this one." y/n grinned, she looked up at the VIP section, eyes catching that of her lover's. Leah Williamson, even now, when there were thousands screaming for her, all y/n would ever want to find was the blonde.

y/n's fingers played the familiar riff on the guitar and the crowd started their screaming again as the drums kicked in. The Lionesses in the section all cheered and began to bounce as Leah chuckled.

"Yesterday I crashed my car Because I wondered what it'd feel like Pressed my foot down on the pedal And I ran right through the stop sign." y/n sang.

Her voice had always been low, raspy and powerful. She used to hate that, but as she got older and found that no songs fit her, she found that it was best to write ones to do so.

Leah loved her voice, from the second the two met Leah would sit and listen in awe every time y/n opened her mouth, she could be recording in the studio or belting mockingly in the shower, Leah would stop and listen every time.

"Told all my friends I hate them And then I played the victim 'Cause God forbid the problem's ever me Fucked my ex just to do it Guess therapy's been useless What a waste of £250 a week." y/n continued before holding the microphone out to the crowd.

"SO HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?" The stadium erupted, shouts and screams from everyone saying the line.

"Well." y/n hummed, the music stopping for a second before the lights flickered and the drums kicked back in as the smoke machines went wild.

"I think I'm hooked on feeling low Like morphine in my soul Kinda like when I go cold (cold, cold) I think I'm hooked on feeling down I drink until I drown Anything to black it out (out, out)

I think I'm hooked I think, I think I'm Hooked

I think I'm hooked I think, I think I'm Hooked I think I'm..."

The performance boomed as y/n sung through the chorus. Her voice strong and just louder than the screaming crowd. Her precious guitar now sat safely off her as she bounced and sang.

Her hair was slick with sweat as she lent back slightly her jaw line popping and making Leah sigh and pinch at her nose in need at how hot her lover was.

"You alright there Leah?" Georgia asks, her voice worried as Leah turned to look at her, but the blonde scoffed when she saw the shit-eating grin on Georgia's face.

"Shut up." Leah huffed as the girls around them continued to dance along.

"Blow through all of my money On cigarettes and coffee 'Cause being broke is hard at 23." y/n sang.

"I'm actually 25 now." She added in spoken words, Leah rolling her eyes at the cigarettes line which was a habit she had tried to get her lover to stop.

"Go write another sad song And play it for my poor mom Anything so she feels bad for me." y/n continues before holding the microphone out once again.

"Y/N THIS IS SO DEPRESSING." The screams ran out from the stadium, Leah wincing as she shouted with them, and Lucy's shout in her ear.

The chorus began again and the lights flashed wilder as the bass became jumpier, the crowd bobbing as they jumped with y/n who always had good stamina and a great core to sing and dance as she did.

"I think I'm hooked." y/n finished with her song. The lights cutting out as the crowd screamed as the lights came back up, y/n laughing as she waved to everyone.

y/n let out a sigh as she slid her jacket off, her strong arms coming into show from the black one-piece she was wearing which was a bit too low cut for Leah's liking.

The sleek Arsenal red flares her lover also wore were more covering than the cleavage filled top, but the tightness at the top clung to her perky ass so well Leah gulped.

The cheers got louder which caused y/n to laugh as she ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head at the whistles which were aimed her way.

"This, is for one woman only." y/n winked, nodding toward the Lionesses where the camera zoomed in on the now smirking blonde captain.

Keira chuckled next to Leah as Georgia jeered, clapping her friend on the back who rolled her eyes playfully as y/n then hummed into her microphone.

"Got time for one more ay?" She asked her band who nodded.

The tune of 'Hot Gum' began and people went wild as the lights went down and came back up as y/n danced in place, Leah wetting her lips as she watched her lover.

"I hold soft flames on my tongue And chew on them like chewing gum They burn the roof of my mouth But I won't spit it out loud right now."

y/n's voice was low and lazy, vocal fry peaking through as she tilted her body around to the beat as the crowd cheered. The lights suddenly went dark as y/n continued.

"There's an inferno in your mouth I can tell by the way you smile like it burns You press your lips together like you're kissing yourself To stop me from learning." y/n's voice continued.

Suddenly the lights had come up and y/n was no longer visible on stage, but the camera's had found her. Leah jumped at the image of her lover behind her.

y/n chuckled into the microphone and wrapped an arm around the blonde's waist and despite the fact y/n was shorter than the blonde in that moment she had all the power.

"She's a keeper, she's a believer She's on the ground, on her knees in a theatre And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But she fell in love with a fever." y/n sings.

The crowd were screaming once more, y/n grinning at her lover as she spun around her and to her front, Leah's arms wrapping around her naturally as she lent back to sing.

"I could never leave her, I could never keep her" That's what she says to the neighborhood preacher And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But I fell in love with the fever and I." y/n sang.

Leah couldn't help but lean down and press a small kiss to the junction where y/n's neck met her shoulder and the crowd cheered once more.

"I watch us burn and fall, the heat is ten feet tall The potential is bench pressing us into the wall And the flick of flames weaving through my teeth If the hot gum were to slip out, where would we be?" y/n sung.

The girl switched so her back was against Leah's chest as she danced with the blonde's team the group all laughing as Leah's arms hugged tightly to y/n's waist as she continued to sing.

"She's a keeper, she's a believer She's on the ground, on her knees in a theatre And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But she fell in love with a fever." y/n sang, slipping to her knees in front of her lover.

The cheers that arose were louder than anything all night as the camera continued to film as y/n lent into a backbend her hand gripping Leah's thigh - on her good leg, tightly.

"I could never leave her, I could never keep her" That's what she says to the neighbourhood preacher And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But I fell in love with the fever and I." y/n sang once more.

She rose to her feet as the song continued, pulling the blonde in for a kiss which Leah returned albeit a little sheepishly considering they were in front of thousands.

y/n pulled away, pecking Leah's lips once more before high-fiving Georgia and running back to stage for the last section of the song.

"If I tell you what I'm thinking promise, you won't tell yourself If you tell me what you're thinking, I swear I won't tell myself She's on the ground, she's on his knees, she's a believer She's on the ground, she didn't listen to the preacher." y/n finished with a dramatic bow.

The crowd screamed and cheered as y/n chuckled, waving to them once more as she began to thank them all and her band.

"And thank you baby, for being so good with me." y/n added into the microphone which caused Leah to chuckle. "And to the team, because you're all always hype-women for me and that slaps." y/n added.

The crowd cheered as she thanked them once more before running off-stage, sighing in relief as she chugged a bottle of ice cold water while she waited for the growing cheers of the Lionesses to get closer.

"You sure know how to put on a show mrs. skipper!" Millie called as she slammed her hands on y/n's shoulders, only to wipe the sweat which coated them onto a shouting Rachel.

LJ and Hempo both cheered as the three shared a quick shared high five, before Lotte, Beth and Niamh all did the same.

"Hmm, certainly." Leah said, folding her arms and raising a sharp brow, an unimpressed look on her face at the stunt pulled.

"Love you." y/n winked as she pressed a kiss to Leah, Alessia and Ella letting out fake gags which caused Lucy to hit them.

"Children." Keira chuckled as Georgia high-fived y/n once again as y/n sighed and sagged.

"Carry me to dressing room?" She asked Leah tiredly and the blonde nodded, swooping up the star into her arms as the Lionesses teased and cooed.

"Shut up!" Leah called before walk off with her lover.

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y/n just posted

liked by leahwilliamsonn, stanwaygeorgia and 9.3 million others

tagged leahwilliamsonn

y/n she's a believer, she's on the ground on her knees in the theatre...

p.s. thank you london - so fucking much xxx

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username1: YOU WERE AMAZING !!!!!! 😍😍

username2: I Cried three times 😭

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username3: I CRIED AT THEIR KISS 😭

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username4: that was hot 🔥

username5: 🔥🔥🔥

ellatoone: the best night ever ! ESPECIALLY FOR LEAH ;))

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alessiarusso99: Subtle Ella

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keirawalsh: hahahahahahha - well done y/n!!

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y/n: Love you !!!

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username6: HEHehhehe

leahwilliamsonn: my girl - I - ...

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y/n: Leah.exe has stopped working

lucybronze: disappeared like Houdini 🧐

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1maryearps: Only disappeared because she's so small tho 🤷‍♀️

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y/n: count your days earps...

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1maryearps: gulp...

mbrighty04: you get well sweaty on stage mate ☺️

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racheldaly3: and needy too apparently 😏

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leahwilliamsonn: I'm not rli complaining

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y/n: ;)))

username7: Her and Leah are so cute! 🥺🥺

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username8: Right?!?!?!!!! ❤️

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leahwilliamsonn hooked on you...

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END

loved this one and really got into the performing section lmao

Songs used:

Hooked - Sam Short

Hot Gum - Sofia Isella

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 31

Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, NSFW, MDNI, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings/labels: everyone needs therapy. Are they getting therapy? Not exactly ... but they're having conversations, and I guess that's a start.

wc: 2.3k

Chapter Selection

We were packing up to head home when Tim knocked on the door. “Umm … Bruce wants to talk to you?”

I sighed softly, nodding, and kissed Jason's cheek. “Be right back.”

Jason frowned. “Want me to come with?”

“Nah, I'm sure it's fine. I'll be back in a few minutes!” I smiled softly, going down to Bruce's office. The door was open, so I knocked gently on the door frame, smiling a little.

“Hey Bruce, you wanted to talk to me?”

He stood by a wall of bookshelves, turning to face me. “Yes, thank you. … Close the door?”

I nodded, stepping inside. The door shut with a soft click as I raised my eyebrow. “Everything ok?”

He nodded, gesturing for me to sit in an armchair. I did, and he sat across from me. “... I … I wanted to apologise. … For the last time you were at training.”

“Ah…” I nodded, fiddling with my fingers. “Right, that was a bit fucked up… thank you.”

He clenched his jaw but smiled weakly. “... Yes, it was. … I … don't respond well when the people in my life are in danger, but I shouldn't have yelled at you…”

I blinked and chuckled softly. “... That's one way to put it. … And I think it should be obvious after our conversation last night, if I was trying to steal your family, I would have by now.”

He chuckled weakly. “... Yes … I’m sorry for that as well. That accusation was uncalled for. … You make my children happy. All of them; your remarkable empathy seems to be exactly what they need in their lives.”

“You could probably use it too.”

“... Perhaps. … I'd like things to be … less tense, between us.”

I nodded, sighing softly. “I'd like that too, for their sake. … But I still can't get past it, Bruce. … I wasn't kidding, or speaking hyperbolically when I said I will never be able to forgive you. No matter how much I might like to, how much easier things would be, I can't. … Jason clings to me in his sleep. It's like he's trying to remind himself that he's there, in my bed, and not in that warehouse his dreams take him back to.”

Bruce frowned, confused; “he … tells you about his nightmares?”

I shook my head; “He mutters in his sleep sometimes. … He is tormented nightly by his trauma, and it's your fault. … And Damian … I am so afraid for him, Bruce. … I don't know how you stand it. Aren't you afraid too?”

He sighed; “Of course I am, … but they are strong, and brave, and we do not patrol alone. We always have backup. … My fear does them no good. They need to know that I believe in them; that I know they can handle themselves out there.”

I sighed, resting my head in my hands. He wasn't wrong; doubting themselves in the field would get them killed. If they believed he was confident in their abilities, they would be more confident in themselves. But they should never have been put in the field in the first place.

“... What's done is done. All we can do is live with it. … So how do we do that? How do we move forward?” I looked up at him slowly.

“... I don't know.” Bruce frowned. “... I've never been very good at moving forward.”

I nodded. That was the understatement of the century. “... Maybe it would be best if we didn't discuss Bat things, at least for now. … I liked Bruce Wayne well enough, before I knew; it was obvious that he had his issues, but he clearly cared about his kids, and I could respect that. I thought he was honorable, and had a good heart. … Batman is … something else entirely.”

He blinked a few times; “... Are you suggesting you could … compartmentalize? … Treat Bruce as one person, and Batman as another?”

“I'm saying I don't want the tension between me and Batman to make things harder for the boys. So, for their happiness, I can … try not to think about it. … Unless they ask me to do otherwise, or you give me a reason to think too hard about it.”

Bruce nodded slowly, offering me his hand. I sighed, shaking it, and he smiled a little. “... We'll see you for Christmas?”

I nodded; “yeah, I'd imagine so. … Dick told me you aren't a big fan of the holiday season.”

“... It's a hard time for me.”

I nodded. “I'm sorry. … Holidays are often complicated for people with … unconventional family dynamics. But you do have a family, Bruce.”

He nodded contemplatively. “... Thank you. … Safe travels.”

He walked me to the door and I started down the hallway. Halfway back to Jason's room, I heard a soft “pst!” from behind me. I turned to look, chuckling softly as Dick gestured for me to approach.

“Hey, Dick.”

“Hey, what was that?” He stood in his doorway, Tim peering out from behind him.

“Nothing really? He just wanted to talk to me for a minute.”

“He didn't yell at you again, right? He really doesn't mean it, he's just not great at emotional regulation, but he's trying, I pr-”

I held a hand up to stop Dick's anxious rambling. “He didn't yell. He actually apologized for that.”

Tim blinked a few times. “... B apologized?”

“Yeah…. You two need a second to process that?”

“... No, that's … that's good.” Dick nodded, smiling a bit. “That's all it was?”

“That's all.”

“Huh … ok.” Tim frowned.

I giggled; “were you worried about me, Timmy?”

“... I mean, yeah, a little! B can be … rough. And you're very … gentle.”

I nodded. “That's entirely intentional.”

Dick smiled a bit. “Still, we don't want you being pushed away by Bruce's …”

“Prickly demeanor?” I supplied. Tim nodded. “No chance of that.”

“Good.” Tim nodded, checking his phone. “Alright, I'm outta here then. See you both next time!”

I moved so he could step out, and we bid Tim our goodbyes. Dick moved to close his door, but paused when he saw I wasn't leaving. “... Was there something else?”

“I wanted to thank you for my ornament.”

“Oh, that was a family decision!”

“I know, but the whole tree decorating activity had to start with someone. And something tells me it wasn't Bruce's idea.”

He smiled a bit sheepishly; “heh … yeah, you'd be right there.”

“How'd it get started?” I leaned against the wall, smiling softly.

“Ah … it started with Jaybird's first Christmas at the manor. … Living here, especially back then, after being in … very different circumstances, was a trip for both of us, but especially him. I mean, he had been on the streets for a while before B took him in, he was hungry and cold a lot of the time. So suddenly being in a house like this … there was a lot of pressure.”

I nodded, frowning. “I’d imagine…”

“And at Christmastime it got even worse. There were so many public appearances in December back in the day. There's still a lot, but it's definitely pared down quite a bit.”

“Plus there's more of you to divide them up.”

He nodded; “there is that. So, Jay was kinda starting to crack under the pressure a bit. … He ran away.”

“What??” I frowned.

Dick nodded. “I found him at midnight in a cardboard box fort in Crime Alley. God, he was so cold, I thought he was gonna die … when we finally got him warmed up I chatted with him a bit, and it came out … everything was too perfect,”

“He felt inadequate.” I frowned.

“Exactly. He worried it was all gonna be taken away from him, so he might as well walk away first, so it'd be his choice to go. … So Alfred and I talked, and we found a family room we could set up for the ugly, imperfect, human stuff.”

“And so the ugly Christmas tree was born.” I smiled softly. “That's brilliant.”

He smiled softly. “Heh, thanks… it’s probably the one thing I did right for him…”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed. “I was nineteen, just starting out as Nightwing, and … I had been an only child my whole life. I wasn't a great big brother for him … he was twelve, and he wanted to do everything I did, and …”

“It was annoying. I get it. You didn't have the life experience to tell you how to handle a kid hanging around and watching everything you did. Plus that age gap; no nineteen year old wants to hang out with a twelve year old.” I nodded. “You also didn't adopt him, Bruce did; you shouldn't have been made to take care of him in that way. It was wonderful of you to do what you did for him, but it shouldn't have been your job.”

He blinked a bit, frowning slightly. “... I failed him, … so badly … when we lost Jay, and Tim joined the family, I knew I had to do better for him…”

“You were nineteen, Dick. Legally an adult, mentally a child. … You've taken on responsibilities well beyond your years for a long time, and none of it should have fallen on you. You did the best you could, at great personal risk. You shouldn't beat yourself up for things that didn't go well. You weren't equipped to take care of it, and you tried anyway. That is incredibly selfless, and kind.”

He clenched his jaw, staring at his feet. “... You call out Jay and Damian this much?”

I chuckled. “I prefer to think of it as making space for you to be human. Everyone needs someone who doesn't expect them to be perfect, after all.”

He chuckled weakly. “... yeah, … I guess so. Thanks …”

He smiled a bit, offering me a hug. I pulled him in close, and he slowly collapsed against me. I let him hug me for as long as he wanted; the Wayne boys were all incredibly touch starved, but where Damian had closed himself off from touch, Dick very obviously craved it like oxygen.

Eventually he pulled back, smiling softly. “... See you soon?”

I nodded. “You know where I live. Text me sometime, we'll hang out.”

He grinned and nodded. “Cool! … Jay won't mind?”

“Jason doesn't own me, and he doesn't think he does; I can hang out with whoever I like. If he doesn't want to participate we can schedule it for a time he won't be home.”

Dick chuckled and nodded again. “Ok. I'll text you then.”

I nodded and squeezed his shoulder before finally making my way back to Jason. Damian was sitting on his bed, watching him zip my bag.

“There you are. Todd was starting to worry.”

“I was not!” Jason rolled his eyes at Damian, throwing my bag over his shoulder.

“Sorry, I stopped to chat with Dick and Tim for a minute too.” I kissed Jason's cheek, trying to take my bag from him.

He pulled it back, leaning into the kiss. “I got this, baby girl~”

I smiled softly. “If you're sure.”

Damian hopped off the bed, gently squeezing my hand for a second. “I will walk you to the car.”

I squeezed back, nodding. “Sounds good. Will you be coming over soon?”

He nodded, following us downstairs. “Father wants to talk to me today, but I will come over next weekend if I may?”

I nodded, grinning. “I'd love that! Think about what you'd like for dinner, ok?”

He nodded. “... You heard me and Father last night, didn't you?”

“I did. He went to your room?”

“... He did … thank you.”

I smiled softly; “I'm glad you got what you wanted.”

Jason looked over his shoulder at us, and I waved him off. Damian smiled a little. “It was nice … but not as nice as when you did it.”

I blushed a bit and smiled softly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it, baby brother.”

“... I missed you, while Mother was visiting.”

“I missed you too. … I know your dad wants you home tonight, but if you want, you can call me before bed. We can talk a bit?”

He nodded quickly. “I will then.”

Jason led us into the garage and loaded our bags into the car. Damian shifted between his feet, frowning a bit. “... See you next weekend.”

“See you next weekend, baby.” I offered him my hand again, and he considered it, leaning against me. I ran my fingers through his hair a bit, hugging him gently. “Call me any time, ok?”

“Any time?”

“Any time. Five in the morning if you want. I might be a bit out of it, but I'll pick up.”

His eyes shifted a bit, a subtly pleased expression crossing his face. Jason smirked a bit, opening my door. “We ready to go?”

Damian pulled back and I smiled softly; “I suppose…”

I packed Jason another patrol lunch that night, this one filled with some of the leftovers Alfred had sent us home with. I kissed him at the door, gently stroking his hair. “Be safe. If you can’t be safe, be smart.”

He chuckled, stroking my hair a bit; “yes ma'am~”

I locked the door behind him and I got comfy on the couch to watch a movie, but before I could even grab the remote, my phone vibrated.

I grinned, seeing Damian’s name; “Hey kiddo~”

“Hello sister. … You said I could call before bed.”

“Absolutely. Jason just went on patrol too, so perfect timing. Did your dad sing for you again tonight?”

“No, I … I didn't ask him tonight.”

I pulled my knees up against my chest. “You didn't like it?”

“That's not it … I just … it's not what our relationship is. … I prefer when you do it.”

“Would you like me to?”

“... please.”

“Of course, darling.” I smiled softly, singing gentle lullabies until I heard him snoring softly.

Next ->

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[gyutopia]

dried flowers | park jongseong

ꕤ DESCRIPTION:  it’s always been jay, even all those years ago when you were fresh out of a relationship with your first love hueningkai. it was jay who was always there, the man who helped you find yourself again and showed you your worth, the man you could clearly picture a future with, the father of your twins. so why are you now having doubts about your marriage? it’s always been jay...hasn’t it?

ꕤ GENRE: fluff, nsfw, angst….

ꕤ WORD COUNT: 13.3k

⟶ WARNINGS: mean dom!jay, sub!reader, oral (f receiving), p in v intercourse, no protection, degradation, possessiveness, jealousy,, jay gets his heart broken, the park family is in shambles, mentions of cheating, slut shaming, knets hate u lol, mentions of depression and therapy.

❥ 𝑎/n: she’s been in the drafts for a while, decided to post while i work on my jake fic!

12:39am

There was a time in your life when you felt free and the world was full of possibilities...and him, especially him. You love your husband, you always have and you always will but a part of you can’t help but wonder if your life would be different had you given your first love a second chance. The circumstances surrounding your relationship with Hueningkai were far from ideal, an overly busy boyfriend who could never seem to make time for you and a short stay for your study abroad program. The odds really were never in your favor.

It also didn’t help that the two of you had completely different ideals and aspirations. You wanted to settle down at some point and have kids, you wanted the big wedding and the house at the end of the cul de sac but Kai wanted you and his music, nothing more. He didn’t believe in marriage, claiming he didn’t need a piece of paper to show you just how much he loved you.

He also wasn’t big on kids, coming from a somewhat big family himself and seeing how his parents marriage didn’t last and the pain he and his sisters endured when the divorce was finalized, he came to the conclusion he wouldn’t ever want to put someone he loves through that and swore off kids for good. His focus was his music career before anything else and he expected you to simply adjust to his hectic life and be content with being kept in the shadows. Your relationship really took a turn for the worst when he brought you to a party his label mates were throwing, everything went to shit that night.

The party resulted in a broken relationship, bloody nose and bruised knuckles and you pulling out of the SNU study abroad program the following week and returning back home to the states.

You don't even know what you’re doing thinking about Kai, it’s been years and you’re content with the life you lead now. You’re married to an amazing man who shows you each and every day just how much he loves you and the children you have together. Jay has never given you any reason to not trust him or even doubt him. So why are you now?

Jay is the kind of guy who actually enjoys dinners with your mess of a family, he stands on the train no matter how many seats are empty and somehow manages to be the most handsome yet humble man in any room. He’s your all time favorite person and you want to live a hundred years and die at the exact same moment so your souls can find each other on the other side as soon as possible and fall in love all over again.

So maybe you don’t regret picking Jay, you’re glad you did. Really, but you just can’t help but think: what if it had been Kai?

Would you be as happy as you are now? Would you have kids? Would you still be his dirty little secret or would he have told the press about you eventually?

You sigh in frustration and rub at your forehead. “It’s too early for this,” you mumble to yourself before standing from your bed and exiting the room.

You slide on your bedroom slippers and slip out of the master bedroom to head downstairs. You stop by the twins room and open the door just a bit to make sure they’re still sleeping. You smile softly when you find them passed out in their respective beds.

You shut the door and continue to pad down the hall and stairs into your kitchen to grab a mug and tequila. You pour yourself a cup and head into the backyard to sit on the hammock chair Jay had set up a month prior to you giving birth to the twins.

You place the tequila bottle by your feet and cradle your mug to your chest as you overlook your backyard. It’s a mess, there are toys scattered about and the play set Jay had installed with the help of his members sits proud and tall right smack dab in the middle of the mess.

You lean your head against the wood of the hammock and pull your phone out of the pocket of your robe. You can feel your eyes water as you scroll through your contact list searching for one specific person. Yujin.

The phone rings for a few seconds before she picks up.

“Hello?”

You let out a shaky laugh, “oh. Hi, you’re still up?”

She laughs. “Do you know who you’re talking to? My sleep schedule doesn’t exist. But I will say I’m surprised that you haven’t passed out yet. You know, being the mother of one year old twins can be very tiring.” You hear some commotion in the background before you hear the gentle shut of a door. “Why are you still up?”

You bite down on your bottom lip and play with the rim on your mug. “I can’t sleep.”

She hums, “hey, has Jay ever choked you? Because if he hasn’t he really should.”

You let out a scandalized gasp, “oh my gosh! You were with heeseung weren't you?”

She giggles and sighs into the phone, “he might have spent the night.”

You kick your feet and allow the hammock to swing, “oh wow. Was it that good?”

She hums eagerly, “yes it was. Maybe we should get married? Then he could do it for the rest of our lives.”

You nearly choke on the sip of tequila at her words. “I love that it takes asphyxiation to get you to settle down.”

She laughs as well, “please, you’re acting as if you didn’t marry Jay because of his, your words not mine, ‘monster cock’,”

You shrug your robe off and place the mug down, finally getting comfortable. “I don’t recall.”

She snorts, “of course you don’t. But moving on, are you going to tell me what’s really going on?”

You clear your throat and stare off into the distance. “I’ve been doing some...thinking..?”

You trail off as you try and think of how to phrase your next sentence. “A lot of thinking actually. About...him.”

Yujin hums in amusement, “ouu, who?”

You sigh and place your head in your hands. “Come on Yujin, you know who.”

Silence follows after your statement and you hang your head in shame.

“Are you kidding me?” Yujin takes a seat at her dining table and reprimands you. “Do not fuck up your gorgeous family.”

You shake your head adamantly, “I’m not.”

“You better not! Jay is such a good guy, _____!”

You sigh, “I know that!”

Yujin scoffs, “then appreciate it for a second, how lucky you are to have found him. Do you know how many millions of women would kill for what you have with him?”

“Look, I know that. B-but I just can’t stop thinking about how different things used to be!”

Yujin lets out a confused hum, “with Kai?”

“No...with me. I was different...I- I don’t know what happened.”

Yujin sighs, “you said yes, moved to the suburbs and had kids. This is what you wanted, _____. It was your choice.”

You groan in frustration. “I know that, Yujin! But I just, I-I need to feel it again!”

“Feel what?”

“Some small piece of that interconnected love rush you know? It was just-- it was such a high!”

“_____...I get it, Kai was out of this world for you but that kind of love is a fickle bitch. It hurts, it betrays and is ultimately unsustainable but what you have with Jay will go the distance. He really is the one for you.”

You close your eyes and lean back in the hammock. “I know.” You softly say, “I know it with everything in me.”

Yujin nods, forgetting that you can’t see her. “So what are you gonna do?”

You open your eyes when you hear Jay’s car pull up in the driveway. “I don’t know.” You properly sit up and collect your mug and tequila off the floor, “I have to go. Jay’s home.”

You don’t give her a chance to respond before hanging up and entering the kitchen through the back just as Jay walks in through the foyer. You dump the remaining liquor and place the bottle back in your drink cabinet.

“Hi, my love.” You feel Jay wrap his arms around your waist from behind and place a kiss on your collarbone. “Why are you still up?”

You finish washing up the mug and place it on the drying rack. “My mind won’t shut off.” you turn in his arms and wrap your own around his waist. He smiles at you and leans down to place his lips on yours for a quick peck but you pull him back in for a longer more meaningful kiss.

Loosely, his hand moves to grip your neck, as you lift your chin higher - so you can press your lips harder into his - while your hands fist into his shirt. His free hand drops to wind around your waist, and in one swift movement, he pulls your body flush against his. Gasping at the motion, Jay uses the opportunity to slip his tongue between your teeth, your lips parting further in response. Indolently, his soft appendage swipes across yours, curling around your tongue and gently massaging it.

Electrified by his kiss, you moan into his mouth, your chin lifting higher as you press your lips harder against his. Mouths moving in tandem, you lose yourself into the intoxicating feel of his lips against yours. The soft petals of his mouth are soft, and as pillowy as you remember; albeit a little chapped, but you don’t mind so much. No - because the slight abrasion only adds to the feel of your kiss.

When you feel his tongue flick against yours, your hands uncurl from his shirt - only to wind up his chest, along his throat, towards the nape of his neck. Further and further, you sink into Jay: his body pressed flat against yours, his saccharine taste coating your tastebuds, and his warm breath wafting over your face. You can’t help but find yourself drowning into him - his entire presence encasing your senses as you lose yourself deep into his entire being.

Both of you lose track of time, your tongues gliding and sliding against each other, both of you consumed wholly by the other. Lost in your own selves, you feel nothing but each other - want to feel nothing but each other - and soon, the rest of the world fades into the background. There’s a soft ache in your lungs - your chest aching from the lack of oxygen, but you don’t care. No - right now, breathing is the last thing on your mind. In fact, the only thing you can think of is Jay, and the intoxicating sensation of his tongue against yours.

Nonetheless, eventually, your lungs begin to burn - the lack of oxygen searing through your chest. When the sweltering ache grows too much to be ignored, the two of you pull away - breathing harshly against each other. Your eyes stay closed as you gasp for air, both your breaths mingling together and circulating the air. Your lips are slightly swollen, and as you flick out your tongue to soothe them, you can’t help but whimper at the aftertaste of his essence on your mouth: the flavor only deepened by his breath fanning your face.

With your eyes closed, you still feel him linger around you - his calming presence washing over you and soothing your earlier hurt. Swallowing thickly, the two of you gradually open your eyes - coming face to face with each other. You’re still only a hair's breadth away, his mouth ghosting against yours in tender brushes. Gaze meeting his, you search his eyes for something - anything - even just an inkling of the emotions you feel for him. And as usual, Jay doesn’t disappoint.

He smiles gently at you, the soft tip of his nose brushing yours as he repetitively presses affectionate kisses to your lips. “Not that I’m complaining but, what was that for?”

You place your head against his chest and lowly whisper into the night, “I love you.”

You wake up with a headache and the muffled sound of voices echoing from your living room all the way to the master bedroom. Groggily, you push yourself up off the bed and stare at the empty space beside you, realizing one of the voices belongs to Jay.

You vaguely remember him coming home last night after his meeting with his producer, your moment on the kitchen counter. How he carried you back upstairs and tucked you into bed beside him.

You hoist yourself off the bed and throw on the silk robe you had in the bathroom as you begin your morning routine of brushing your teeth and taking a shower. Trudging along the hallway to the living room after freshening up, you stumble upon a woman rounding the corner and walking up to you.

You think your eyes are deceiving you when you finally recognize who the jet black hair pulled up high into a sleek ponytail belongs to. “Oh sweetheart! You’re awake! Good morning.”

It’s Jay’s mother.

She pulls you into a hug and you blush. “I-I didn’t know you were visiting today.” You return the hug, “If I knew, I wouldn’t have—“

“Don’t be silly! We’re all allowed to drink once in a while!” Her eyes sparkle with her words, making you smile. She’s always been fond of her and was quite vocal about it. “Let’s get you some coffee, okay?'' Jay's mom leads you down the hallway, past the living room where you see Jay and his father engaging in what seems to be a serious conversation, and into the open kitchen where she ushers you to sit down. “The twins haven’t woken up yet, I was about to get started on their breakfast” She informs you when she catches you looking around. You hum and stir your still hot coffee.

Before you get to take a sip of the morning brew, you feel someone kiss your temple.

“Good morning, baby.” Jay whispers, placing his phone by your coffee mug, “Are you okay? Do you need aspirin?”

“I’m fine.” you sigh, stretching your neck to kiss his cheek before he straightens his back. His mother sets down another plate, filled with eggs and bacon, before ushering the men to sit.

“Let's eat!”

┕━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━┙

Brunch goes by fast, small talk about your father in-laws' business is shared and pictures of your kids go around the table before goodbyes are bid with promises of lunch sometime soon. Retreating back into your home, Jay takes a seat on the couch and massages his temples with two fingers.

“Jay?” You worriedly ask, sitting beside him and placing your hand on his knee. There’s something unsettling about how it takes him a second to reply, staring at the glass coffee table with a stoic expression. You begin to retract your hand until he sighs and grabs it gently

He closes his eyes and smacks his lips together, “This morning… your previous relationship was broadcasted all over the news. I don’t know how they got the information but I’m doing everything I can to take it down.”

“Oh.” You blink, unsure of what to say or how to react. If anything, the headache you woke up with starts acting up again as you try to process what your husband had just said. The world knows about Kai. Even more, the world knows about your past relationship with him. You can only wonder how the media is painting you.

You think it’s something along the lines of a gold digger. First you get swept up in a whirlwind romance with an international superstar just to break things off and marry the son of one of South Korea’s biggest chaebols who just so happened to not only be friends with your ex but work with him as well. There’s definitely no saving your image now.

“I’m sorry.”

He frowns at your apology, tilting his head to the side. “What for?”

“About this mess, I’m sorry this is interfering with your image.”

“You did nothing wrong, love. I just hate how even after all these years Kai is still associated with you. It’s almost like you won’t be able to ever fully leave him in your past where he belongs.”

You want to reassure him that while yes, Hueningkai played a major role in your life, he’s the past. You want to tell him that it doesn’t matter because he’ll stay in your past but you can’t bring yourself to lie to your husband.

The truth is you don’t know where Hueningkai stands in your life at the moment and as sick and twisted as it sounds, if he were to show up at your doorstep right at this moment….you don’t know what you would do.

Jay turns to face you. “I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you, _____. That isn’t it, I swear. I just...I guess I just need the reassurance that Kai isn’t coming back. I’m secure with our relationship and I just want to know what you’re thinking, please don’t shut me out.”

You open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out, “u-uh...I-'' You're soon cut off by the wails of your twins over the baby monitor. You close your eyes and thank God for the distraction. “-I should probably go get them ready for their day and feed them. They have a playdate with Chaeyoung’s kids''

You abruptly stand and turn in the direction of the nursery. “You should get dressed for work, I’ll stop by the studio with lunch later for you and the guys.” You hesitate before turning back around to place a quick kiss on his lips. “I love you.”

After dropping off the twins and making a quick trip to the grocery store, you’re talking to Yujin over the phone about her taking her relationship with Heeseung to the next level when your phone chimes with a message from a number you should have blocked and deleted a long time ago. It’s Kai.

You block out Yujin’s words about her current issues and shakily reach for the device, scared to read the contents of his unprompted message.

2:33pm [hueningkai]: i’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now and i really am sorry if it put you in a difficult position with jay. i know you told me to delete your number and never reach out again but i don’t want you to hate me anymore than you already do _____.

2:33pm [hueningkai]: i’m not the one who sold the story to the press, i don’t know how it got out and i’m working really hard to get them taken down so please be patient and wait for me a little longer.

2:35pm [hueningkai]: i’ll make things right.

“I don’t want you to hate me anymore than you already do.” Your ears ring and your breath hitches as the phase catapults you into the past.

“_____.” he called in a breath.

He felt the panic rising. He wasn’t ready to confront you. From what Yeonjun had told him, you weren't doing great when you left the party last night. He told him how you had cried your eyes out on your way back home. Hueningkai had never seen you cry - apart from that time the two of you watched All The Bright Places together - you were always so cheery all the time, always in a good mood. In the past months you’ve been together you’ve never had a fight - you bickered continuously, yes, but never fought. You were always in sync, as if you could read each other’s minds. Hueningkai never felt such a connection with anybody else. 

You were still looking at him. you looked at him and you saw the beautiful man you fell in love with tremble with fear. He was afraid of you. And in some way, you were scared of him too. you were scared of who he was, who he really was - because last night you had come to one conclusion: you don’t know Hueningkai. You thought you did, you thought you had learned enough of him in these past months, but you were wrong. He wasn’t the great, responsible and loving person you thought he was - because the man you thought you knew wasn’t capable of breaking your trust.

If there was something you were sure about it’s your worth. Your pride and tenacity were the qualities that allowed you to be where you were. You're intelligent, independent and determined. You had your moments, but you were strong, and you knew it. You knew that you didn’t do anything wrong to deserve his deception. You had cried your tears and felt the pain, but no more. 

“I just want to know why.” you said, your voice a little bit too shaky for your liking.

Hueningkai closed his eyes hard, his head pounding. “_____ …”

“how long?” you pressed on.

The boy shook his head and took another shaky breath. He stood up and walked to her desk, trying to get some space between the two of them. He couldn’t think clearly. 

Your eyes followed him without wavering. “You’re not going anywhere until you speak.”

Hueningkai was biting hard on his lower lip in the hope to cover up the pang in his chest. He didn’t want this. He cared about her. He loved her. But he knew, deep inside, that there was no going back from what he had done. There was no turning back from this terrible mistake.

“I ended things with her.” was all he could say.

“You clearly haven’t.” you responded in almost a clinical manner. “How long?” you repeated. “How long were you seeing her behind my back?”

The boy shook his head again, letting himself fall on the chair. “I wasn’t.”

The girl sighed, slowly getting angrier and impatient. “I saw you kiss each other yesterday. Please, be honest.”

“I-” he mumbled, struggling to find the words. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”

You couldn’t help but smirk. “Very cliché of you to say.”

“It really wasn't,” Hueningkai exclaimed, finding the courage to look at you before cowering back, seeing the disdain on your face. “It- It was after your first day back to classes after winter break.” he finally admitted.

You furrowed your brows, going back with your memories. “The day I learned I failed my bio final?”

He looked up to the ceiling, wishing he could turn back time. “Yes.”

You thought back to that day, the same day you noticed Yeji for the first time. They hugged, you remembered that day too. You didn’t think anything of it when it happened. It didn’t seem important to you. 

Were you too naive?

“Did you have sex with her?”

He shook his head. “I...I don’t remember, I was drunk.”

“You were drunk.” you repeated. “Does it sound stupid only to me?”

“No.” he gulped. “It was stupid.”

You suddenly came to a realization. “The day after my math final,” you remembered. “You weren’t yourself …”

“You told me you fought with Bahiyyih.” You murmured in recognition.

“I didn’t.” Hueningkai responded, fingers through his hair. He wanted this torture to end.

You were feeling slightly nauseous. You were worried about him that morning, but he was fine only hours later. He had laughed with you during your lunch break. “And you decided it wasn’t worth … it wasn’t important enough?” you asked, your anger rising.

“I didn’t want to ruin anything!” the boy exclaimed in fervor, looking back at her again. “You still had three more finals to take and I didn't want t-”

“So you went on with it.” you interrupted. “As if nothing had happened.”

“I didn’t want to-”

To what?” you raised your voice. “To what Hueningkai? To lose me?” you laughed a cold laugh that made the boy quiver. “That’s bullshit and you know it. And then what? You continued seeing her? Those weeks we couldn’t see each other because of your schedule, you were with her, weren’t you?” you accused him in one breath, thinking about how distant he had been. 

Hueningkai was petrified. He was unable to speak against your claims, he wanted to but his throat was constricted. He could feel you slipping away by the minute and he was unable to stop you. He was losing something important, and it was all his fault.

Your breath had turned labored with the realization of how foolish you had been. Four months of lies. You couldn’t believe you fell for all of it, that you fell for him. 

What was it _____? Was it his looks? Was it his personality? What about him rendered you so stupid?

Hueningkai couldn’t stop looking at you now. You were sitting on the edge of your bed with your head down and your hands on your knees, your knuckles taught. He wished he could avert his gaze again but something inside him wanted to masochistically remember this moment. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his own hands trembling inside the pocket of his jeans, where he had hidden them. If he didn’t know himself better, he could swear his eyes were starting to sting. What happened to him? 

You finally take a trembling breath, as if you were trying to compose yourself and not cry. You looked him in the eyes with all the courage you could gather and finally spoke the words he had been secretly preparing himself to hear. “I never thought I could hate someone as much as I hate you. I hate you, Hueningkai. With all my heart.”

“_____? Are you even listening to me?”

You shake your head as the memory comes to pass, trying to get your head out of the daze. “Y-yeah, sorry. Chaeyoung sent me a video of the twins but I promise you have my complete undivided attention.” You lie. Why did you feel the need to hide this from your best friend?

“Oh, it’s okay. I have to go anyway, gotta wrap up my thesis.”

You bid her goodbye and wish her luck with her thesis for her PhD program before hanging up. You stand in silence in the middle of your kitchen as your mind cooks up every reason why texting Hueningkai back is wrong and downright disrespectful to Jay but a part of you itches to see what would happen if you did. Would the part of you you feel is missing come back?

2:40pm to: [hueningkai]: i believe you.

You quickly exit the messages app and shut off your phone to finish packing the boys lunches. You individually wipe down each lunch box and place them neatly in the large lunch bag you had found at Costco a while back. You make sure to pack a few snacks and a sealed platter of fruits for them as well.

You’re back in the car with a few minutes to spare from the time frame you gave yourself, the members warmed up tteokbokki perched on the passenger seat as you pull out of the driveway to your destination. You’re there in no time; there wasn’t much traffic around 4PM.

You park the Mercades in the assigned spot for workers and their family members. You make sure to grab your purse and lunch bag before you enter the elevator to head to the main floor. You greet the security guard; who had remembered you from your previous visits, greeting you as ‘Mrs. Park.’

Bashfully, you bow to him as he lets you pass and make your way to the elevator and ride up to the 10th floor.

Jaebeom, the group's manager, recognizes you the second you step out of the lift and stands up from his seat, “_____! Perfect timing! The boys just wrapped up their dance practice.”

“amazing!.” You beam as you follow him down a corridor. Some employees look up from their work to glance at you; recognition in their eyes.

Enhypen’s practice room is such a large space with multiple glass windows allowing you to see all over. He’s sat on the floor beside Jake, fingers supporting his forehead as he reads something off a piece of paper.

Jaebeom knocks on the open door and pokes his head in, “boys, you have a visitor.”

You watch as their heads snap up simultaneously to see who has stopped by.

Jay puts whatever he was reading down and stands up, “_____? What are you doing here?”

Jaebeom quietly excuses himself and you whisper words of gratitude as he leaves before stepping further into the dance room.

“I promised to drop off lunch,”holding up the lunchbox you made for them. “I can’t have my husband and dear friends starving.”

The boys all cheer and abandon their previous work to come crowd you by the door. Sunoo takes the heavy lunch bag off your shoulder and happily skips to the middle of the practice room with the members following behind. Jay walks up to you, kissing your forehead, “You really didn’t have to. We could have ordered-”

“But you weren’t, were you?” You scowl, “Come on, let’s fill that belly up.”

He leans forward to whisper in your ear, “I’d rather eat you.”

You gasp, instinctively reaching your hand out to hit his shoulder, but he catches it instead and interlocks your fingers together. “Stay and eat with us?”

Your heart melts at the gesture and you inwardly chastise yourself for even ever thinking about someone else when you have a husband as caring and loving as Jay.

You shake your head gently, “I already ate, plus I have to go pick up the twins soon.” You stand on your tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on his lips, “you should go join the boys before they eat your half as well. I’ll see you at home?”

He whines and leans in for one more kiss, “at least let me walk you to the car?”

You shake your head firmly this time. “I can walk myself to the car, Jay. Go enjoy your lunch, I’m sure your body’s dying for some nutrients. I’ll call you as soon as I get back home.”

You kiss him goodbye and say your farewells to the members before exiting the large dance room. You walk down the corridor not paying attention to your surroundings, you’re in your own little world thinking about how your life has seemed to turn to shit overnight when you hear the faint calling of your name.

Your eyes wander about until they fall onto a lone male standing in front of the lift. Blinking at him, you couldn’t believe your eyes when his profile registers in your head.

Your lips have parted in a mixture of dread and astonishment. You haven’t seen him in almost a decade since you left and returned to Korea. All at once, the memories you’ve shared together come flooding back and you don’t notice you’re staring at him; not even when your phone starts buzzing in your hands.

Your eyes meet and in those few seconds you’re able to see that he’s out of his awkward puberty stage; that he’s finally matured into a man his label had been shaping him up to be. He wasn’t scrawny like before, but he wasn’t ‘soft-looking’ either; he looked lean and in good shape. The faintest shadow under his eyes tells you that touring and practicing must have been shit to him but he was still handsome as ever.

“_____?” The way he says your name hits you with nostalgia. He’s still soft-spoken, but you can’t really imagine him having such a stern voice.

Finally coming to your senses, you take a deep breath and fake a chuckle. “Kai,” You gulp, “Hey.”

“It’s been so long! Wow, you look great.”

It takes a second for his compliment to register in your head as you’re still in shock at seeing him again. “Y-yeah, you too. H-how are you?”

“I’m good, the group’s doing well so not much to complain about.” his eyes shift a bit as he clears his throat. “Congratulations, by the way. I saw on the news, and overheard the other members talking… about your wedding and twins.”

Instinctively, you look down at your hand; to your wedding band. “Ah, yeah. Thanks.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, _____.”

Not knowing what to reply, you nod your head, “Uhm, so what about you?”

He lets out a sad chuckle, “No luck. Touring the world doesn’t really give me that much time to socialize. I’m always on the go.”

“Not even groupies?”

“I guess I'm just not interested in them.” Kai shrugs with a half smile on his face, displaying how chiseled his face was. “Still caught up on an ex.”

You shiver at his words, “still caught up on an ex.” were you by any chance said ex? You slightly shake your head. It shouldn’t matter if it’s you. You’re married and a mother, you can’t betray your husband like that and put your family at risk. Whatever lingering feelings you’re holding on to need to be dealt with and put aside. Kai isn’t someone worth losing your family over.

Before you can reply, suddenly, someone steps beside you, pressing a kiss on your temple and wraps their arms around your waist tightly, making your blood run cold. Looking up, Jay smiles sweetly at you but gives the complete opposite glance at Kai. “You dropped your wallet, love.”

You clear your throat and nod, “thank you.” You unravel his arm from your body and take your wallet from his free hand. “I should really get going now. It was nice seeing you again Kai.” You offer him a tight lipped smile and move to walk past him but Jay grabs onto your hand and intertwines your fingers. “Let me walk you to the car.” You turn to look at him ready to tell him it’s not necessary but the way he says it makes it sound like a command and the way he stares at you shows there’s no room for disagreement. He nods his head in acknowledgement at Huening before walking past him, purposely bumping shoulders with him. You outwardly cringe at the clear jealousy in his eyes and show of masculinity. The two of you enter the elevator in silence, you hate how tense the atmosphere has become. Jay squeezes your hand one last time before releasing it.

He lets out a deep sigh, nodding, “do you still love him?”

You blink up at Jay, hands clasped together to stop them from shaking. Do you still love Kai? You always thought you did during your freshman year, but never really thought about it again when you left. When Jay came into the picture, you knew you loved him - probably more than you did Kai, but were you just going to disregard your entire past with Kai?

“He only meant something to me before, you know that.” You could hear your own heartbeat thumping from your chest as you anticipate his next words.

“You look at him the way I look at you.” He turns his head to face you, “you look at him the way I wished you would look at me when we first started dating. Like he holds the whole universe in his eyes.” He gulps as he clenches his fists, “you look at him like you’re in love with him.”

You wipe your clammy hands against your jeans as Jay's words ring in your ears. Do you really look at him like that?

“You’re not even going to deny it?” he scoffs and glares down at your shorter figure. “This morning you couldn’t even tell me that he’s a part of your past, G-God! I should have known!”

You shake your head, “Jay..”

He only speaks over you. “Why are you still hung up on that piece of shit? Are you forgetting everything he put you through? Why aren’t I enough for you? No- fuck that, why isn’t the life we’ve built together enough?”

You reach out to grab his hand, praying he doesn’t pull away. To your relief and mild shock, he doesn’t. “It is! It’s more than enough, Jay! I-I love you, and the twins. I can’t picture my life without the three of you!”

He nods and grips your hand back with the same ferocity you’re holding on to his. “Okay, then look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t love him anymore.”

You lick your lips and look down at the ground. You know what your answer should be yet that’s not what it is and you’ve never lied to your husband. You’re not going to start now.

“I-I don’t know what I feel for him.”

You’re heartbroken by your own admission, but even more so with how Jay releases a deep sigh and your hand; brows meeting at the middle of his forehead as he rips his gaze away from you. You could see his hands ball up into fists against his sides. His breathing is deep and slow; his tongue slowly licking across his bottom lip.

You should say something; explain it further to him. “J-”

The elevator dings and the doors separate. You sniff to hold in your tears as new people enter the lift.

“You should go. The twins are waiting.”

Your head snaps to look at Jay but he makes it a point to avoid your gaze. “B-but you said you would walk me to the car.”

He slowly shrugs. “It’s not like you wanted me to. Besides, being around you right now is too painful. I’ll see you at home.”

The elevator doors close with one last ding and your husband is whisked back up to the 10th floor leaving you all alone in the middle of the reception area crowded by HYBE staff. You try your best to contain your tears as you rush back to the parking garage. You shoot Chaeyoung a text to let her know you’ll be late to pick up the kids, when she lets you know that it’s alright you toss your phone and book it out of the parking lot.

You know you shouldn’t be driving while so high on emotions but you can’t stay anywhere near that fucking building.

Not wanting to go home to silence, you drive to your second safe place. Where you know you won’t be judged and your worries seemingly just melt away.

You frantically knock on the door to Yujin’s home, wondering what the fuck was taking her so long to open the damn door.

“Who is it?”

You choke on a sob and seize your rapid knocking, “i-it’s me”

“_____?”

You nod and resume your knocking, “just let me in!” You hear the click of the lock coming undone before the door swings open and Yujin steps aside to let you in. She takes in your frantic appearance and takes cautious steps towards you, not wanting to set you off even more.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

You place your right hand over your chest as you wheeze, finding it hard to breathe. “I really fucked up.”

You slap a palm over your mouth when a loud sob comes out of your mouth.

Before your body starts to fold as you fail to control your sobbing, Yujin’s arms are around you, encasing your frame against her chest. There’s no point in pushing her away. You’re tired in every aspect and it feels like the only thing to relieve you of that stress is to cry it out.

Your knees give in so suddenly, catching her off guard that she stumbles back a little; balancing your weights until she has both your bodies settled on the floor with her back against the white wall.

“It’s going to be okay,” she shushes you gently and strokes at your back as you sob into her clothes. She allows you to cry to your heart's content and calm down before asking you if you’re ready to speak on what’s caused you to break down.

“I should have listened,” you whine, shaking your head in disbelief. “I should have listened to you when you told me to leave it alone, I-I don’t know why I didn’t!”

“What happened, _____?”

You look up at her with watery eyes. “I really fucked up Yujin…” She sighs and adjusts the way she’s sitting.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong, love.”

You sniff and play with the hanging thread on your shirt. “I...I saw Kai today.” You timidly look into Yujin’s eyes, searching for any judgment in them but her face is passive. “I went to drop off lunch for Jay and the boys and ran into him on my way out.”

“Was that...the first time you’ve seen him since what went down?” Yujin softy asks.

You nod, “it was too painful to face him when I came back and Jay just hated me being near him so I guess I always made it a point to avoid him at all functions I knew he would be at.”

Yujin nods, “did something else happen?”

You close your eyes and bite down on your bottom lip, “an article dropped this morning about my past relationship with Kai and Jay asked me if Kai really was in my past but I dodged the question...he also saw Kai and I together and asked me privately if I...if I still love him.”

Yujin’s eyebrows shoot up, “...and what did you say?”

You scratch your neck and open your eyes, “I told him I don’t know what I feel for him.”

A heavy silence falls over the two of you as Yujin goes over your words. “What the actual fuck, _____?”

You sigh. “I know, I know I fucked up, okay? But Yujin these past few months I haven’t felt like...like myself.” You wipe your nose and try to find the right words. “I’m not saying I don’t love Jay, because I love that man with everything in me but when I think back to Kai-before everything went to shit it feels like everything’s normal again.”

“When I saw him today, it’s like something clicked. I felt like the old me again, for a brief second everything seemed clear and like the haze that I’ve been in ever since the twins turned six months just- vanished!”

Yujin waits for you to finish your rant before she gives you her opinion on the topic. “I don’t think this was ever about Kai.”

You look at her questioningly, “what..?”

Yujin sits up and reaches for your hands. “I should have paid more attention to you when you called me that night, _____. Everything you said then and now...it’s clear. This isn’t about Kai, you don’t miss him or your past relationship with him. You miss the person you used to be when you were with him.”

You shake your head, “n-no.”

Yujin cuts you off and goes on, “-Everything you’ve said- reminiscing on the past, who you were, feeling like a part of you was missing? _____, you’re so focused on Kai and what could have been because you never got the proper closure for what happened. He betrayed you in one of the worst ways and left you with so many unanswered questions. Now that you’ve moved on and experienced a new you, you’re finally having the chance to reflect on the version of yourself that you lost and never got to properly say bye to.”

She reaches for your hand, “...it also sounds like you might be dealing with postpartum depression. It doesn’t kick in until 6 months, maybe even a year after birth. And before you disagree, it’s not just not being able to bond with your kids, it’s feeling lost and hopeless, heightened anxiety...wishing you were someone else.”

You feel as if a weight lays heavy on your shoulders as you process her words. Postpartum depression? The way she gingerly explains it makes it easier to understand and process. It makes everything you’ve been dealing with more clear, your conflicting thoughts and feelings for Hueningkai finally seem to fall into place.

“I-I think you might be right, I definitely need to sort things out with Jay and schedule an appointment with my therapist but thank you for being here for me.”

Yujin softly smiles, “I hope you do actually schedule that meeting with your therapist. Don’t prolong this, and I’m sure Jay will come around. Just explain everything and be truthful. You know he can’t stay mad at you.”

You open your mouth to correct her but your phone buzzes in your pocket before you get the chance. You take it out and see a notification from Sunoo. You open the message and see a link to a website. The header for the article leaves you winded.

Hueningkai of TXT issues a personal letter regarding his past relationship stating he’s still in love with his ex.

You don’t bother reading the attached message Sunoo sent and slap Yujin’s arm to get her attention. She looks over your shoulder and gasps as she skims the article as well.

Hueningkai’s apology:

Moa~ recently it has come to light about a past relationship of mine. I’m sorry for belatedly relaying news of said relationship now but I can not apologize for being a normal teenager and wanting to experience the thrill of a relationship.

I don’t know how the media was able to get a hold of such private information and I sincerely apologize to those who were caught in the crossfire.

It’s true that my past lover is Park _____, the wife of my label mate. If there’s anyone who deserves a sincere apology, it’s her. She has done nothing to warrant the hate she has been receiving, people have been making attacks on her morals, character and parenting skills. All of which have nothing to do with the situation at hand, she is an exceptional being and an even greater mother.

We have not engaged in an affair of any type, I have only met with her once, today being the first in nearly eight years.

However, I can not lie and say I haven’t missed her. Seeing her in person today reinforced my feelings, I never once stopped loving her.

I’ve caused her an immense amount of pain and a lifetime worth of trust issues and I can only hope one day she forgives me. But until then, I’ll do everything in my power to right my wrongdoings.

-Hueningkai.

“What the fuck.” You whimper, how could he do this? His ‘apology’ did nothing but add more fuel to the fire. You can only imagine how Jay is reacting to this. You pray he hasn’t made any reckless decisions.

You scroll down to the comments to see how it’s being received by the public.

omo he’s so brazen 💀 +366

she’s a married woman with children...this is a bit…. +987

she’s really been passed around 😭 -217

i wonder just how many more hybe men she’s slept with +38

he’s only made her seem cheap ㅠㅠ -21

i wonder what her husband is thinking… +765

it sounds as if he cheated… +92

i wonder why they called things off if he’s still in love with her 🤔 +10

8...years..? (°_°) -65

“The internet thinks I’m a whore.”

Yujin reassuringly pats your back, “they don’t know anything and you don’t owe them an explanation.”

You shut off your phone, “that’s not the point, Yujin. i’m being slut shamed and vilified because my ex doesn’t know when to keep private information private and my husband’s pissed off with me and this probably made it worse!”

“Then talk to him, _____. He’s rightfully upset because you still don’t know how to properly communicate with him even after all these years. It’s not too late to fix things with Jay and this whole Kai situation will work itself out once you work things out at home.”

You sigh, maybe she’s right? “I should get going, I still have to pick up the kids and make dinner. I’ll let you know how things go once I talk to Jay.”

You say your goodbyes before leaving to go to Chaeyoung’s home to pick up your babies.

It isn’t until 9:30pm do you finish with your household chores. You made sure to feed and wash up the twins, cook dinner for both you and Jay, clean the kitchen and catch up on laundry. You even made it a point to clean Jay's home office for him.

He doesn’t get home for another three hours. He walks right past you and barely acknowledges your presence. He checks in on the twins who are fast asleep and gets himself ready for bed. You try and get him to talk to you, to say anything but he only tells you he’s tired and falls asleep facing away from you for the first time ever in your relationship.

┕━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━┙

Three days pass by of the cold shoulder from Jay. He makes it a point to wake up before you and leave early in the mornings for work. On the rare occasion you happen to wake up before him however, he takes his time in getting ready to avoid having to sit down for breakfast with you and simply kisses the twins goodbye before murmuring out an I love you in your direction and leaving.

Simply put, you’re over it. You want your clingy and loving husband back. Luckily for you, today’s Sunday The one day you know is promised for you. He doesn’t have studio time on Sunday’s because you all go to your in-laws to have a family brunch and come back home for a weekly reset. Granted he slept in today and you missed brunch but you still have a chance to make things right. You asked your parents to babysit for you so you would have the house to yourselves for a bit. That way all the pent up anger can finally come out without the fear of upsetting the kids.

“Where are the twins?”

You look up from your tablet where you have been outlining points you want to make during your conversation with him.

“I had my parents come get them while you were sleeping.”

He sighs, “why?”

You fiddle with the apple pen in your hands, “because we need to talk and we can’t do that if we have to censor our words because our kids are in the house.”

He stares at you blankly for a second before shaking his head. “I don’t have much to say to you, _____.”

You sigh and push aside the iPad, “yes you do. Just get it off your chest Jay! This marriage won’t work if you keep avoiding me and keep your emotions bottled up!”

He slams his hands down on the kitchen counter and huffs, “what the fuck do you want me to say, _____?” He looks at you furiously, chest rising erratically. “That I’m pissed off with you? That I feel like I can’t trust you anymore? That I feel like you never even loved me?” Your heart breaks as you listen to his rant but you don’t stop him, you need to let him get it off his chest in order to actually heal and move on from this.

“I was the one who was there for everything, I’m the one you came to when you returned to Korea! Hell I’m even the one who put everything on the line for you when I found out what he did to you! And yet, you were still in love with him. You couldn’t even pretend to be half as in love with me as I was with you when we first started dating. So yeah, I’m pissed off that now, years later- as my wife, you still can’t open up to me the way you opened up to him within four months of dating.”

You sniff and nod. “I do love you, Jay. I always have and y-yeah, maybe I wasn’t upfront with my feelings for you when we first got together but that doesn’t change anything!”

“But it does! It does change everything, _____! Do you know what it feels like to know you’ll never be enough for the person you love? It feels like fucking hell! And that stupid article didn’t make things any better!”

You stand from your seated position to embrace him but he only shakes his head and backs away. “J-jay, that article has nothing to do with what I feel for you! I’m sorry I keep hurting you, I’m sorry I’ve put us in this position but you have to trust me when I say that Huening really is in my past!”

“How am I supposed to trust you when you’ve given me every reason not to.” He blinks away his tears and clears his throat. “I need to work on some lyrics for our new album. I’ll be in my office.” Jay exhales, walking around the counter and past you.

“B-but it’s Sunday.” 

Both of you promised each other that as much as possible, Sundays are days off. Unless it’s extremely urgent, neither of you are allowed to work.

“It’s still Saturday in Seattle.” And without another word he retreats to his home office

Confused and guilty, you don’t know what to do in your own home. It takes about ten minutes for you to gather your bearings and finish up the dishes from breakfast. You can’t even think of coherent thoughts, mindlessly doing the chore until you’re finished and feel lost again with what you could do. After another five minutes pass, you decide to head to the bathroom and sit in the bathtub for an hour.

Once you dry off from your bath, you apply your usual skincare and opt out of putting on any makeup aside from some lip balm. You spritz on a little perfume and get dressed in some gym shorts that hug your butt and a loose fitting top before heading back downstairs to the kitchen to make Jay a plate of food to bring to him, praying that by now he’s cooled off a bit.

As carefully as you can, you quietly walk over to where his home office is and peer through the crack. You want to roll your eyes at what you see; Jay slumped back on his couch, his game console controller in his hands, and an annoyed, but focused expression on his face as he stares at the fifa game he had going on.

“lyric writing, my ass.” You mutter, knocking on the door to alert him before opening it. “I brought you some lunch.”

“Thanks. Just leave it there.” Jay mumbles, still concentrating on his game as he nods his head towards his coffee table. 

Your heart drops; he didn’t even spare you a glance. You set the plate to where he gestured and start making your way out until he grabs your hand. You flinch at his sudden action, turning your head to meet his piercing gaze.

He blinks up at you, anger clearly in his eyes, he slowly stands up and discards the controller on his seat. You’re starting to feel small when he’s towering above you. After a long stare-off, he breaks the silence, “Where’s your ring?”

You look down at your hand and it only hits you now that you forgot to put your ring back on after you finished your skincare. “In the bathroom; I took it off to do my skincare.”

He’s breathing deeply; the strength of his hand around your wrist varies.

You take this as an opportunity, while his attention is on you. “Jay please” You don’t know what it is you want from him so you do what seemed like the best choice; you step closer and kiss him.

He doesn’t respond though; just closing his eyes in response. 

“Jay.” You whine, running your hands up his arms and tiptoeing to kiss him once more, but his hand comes up to your neck and holds you in place, making you gasp in shock.

“How far did you two go?”

You grow flustered with his question; wanting to run away but his gentle hold on your neck keeps you planted. “Jay…”

He dips his head down, ghosting his breath over your cheek. “Surely, you two kissed. Probably made out, right? Was he any good?”

“Not as good as you-”

Jay scoffs and pulls away, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip deliberately, “You don’t have to stroke my ego sweetheart so answer my question.”

You shift uncomfortably. “I-I don’t know. I guess?”

He purses his lips briefly before clicking his tongue. His eyes drag down your body, tracing a path with his palm, “Did you ever get touchy with each other? Any below the belt touching?”

You can feel your arousal growing as he applies a bit of pressure to your neck, “Jay, I-”

“Just answer the question, baby.” He hushes, racing his free hand up to your chest, palming one of your breasts. “Did he do this to you?”

“Yes.” You whimpered, arching your body towards him; desperate for more.

“And being the little slut that you are,” He pulls you closer to growl into your ear, “I bet you liked it, doll?”

He flips you around, pinning you to the door and presses his erection into your ass. He still has a hand on your right breast, kneading it a little more roughly now. You loudly moan at the sudden turn of events, putting your hands flat against the wall to stop him from completely crushing you against it.

His left hand begins to travel dangerously low on your stomach while his hips are still rutting against yours, “Did his hands ever touch you here?”

“No.” You resolutely denied, “you’re the only one.”

He hums in approval, but his hands are back on your breasts, which makes you whine again.

“Please touch me.”

Ignoring your request, he kisses your neck, “So that’s all you did?”

You moan and nod your head adamantly. Jay steps away from you, cold air intruding the warmth his body provided. You impatiently look back at him, wondering why he pulled away.

Jay releases you completely and kneels before pulling down your shorts causing you to gasp at the cold air that hits your clit. 

Jay lets out a hum of approval. “Spread those legs for me, Kitten,” he says - though from the domineering tone, you know it’s more of an order. Without question you obey. The moment your legs are splayed wide. Large hands spread your thighs further before Jay presses his head between - then, he tentatively presses his tongue to your clit.

“Ah-” you gasp out, your hips automatically bucking into his face at the roughness of his tongue. Once again, he chuckles before licking a swipe from your cunt all the way to your ass. Your back automatically arched, pushing your hips further into his face. Jay teases you with a couple more kitten licks before pushing his tongue into your dripping hole, swirling his tongue around and collecting all your arousal on his tongue. He laps deep into you, thrusting his tongue in and out, palming his cock as you ride his face. Gently suckling on your clit, Jay presses his nose to your clit, expertly locating your g-spot and causing vibrations of pleasure to strum along them. Your vocal cords strained, voice cracking as you let out another cry. You feel your pussy walls ripple, abdomen twisting into a wrenching knot inside of you as he continues lapping your clit.

You simply can’t catch your breath, your head lolling helplessly to the side as your shoulders slump. You quickly feel your orgasm approach, the knot in your stomach twisting even further as Jay drives you to the brink of pleasure. Your hips move instinctively, grinding your pussy against his eager face as Jay buries it deeper between your thighs.

“I’m- oh gosh I’m going to cum” You warn, voice raspy and throat raw. You breathe deeper, gasps turning into low moans as your body seizes up, eyes rolling deep into the back of your skull as you come around his skillful tongue. Jay feels you gush around his mouth and lets up a bit to catch his breath before diving back as he licks and swallows up all of your cunt juice. You try to push him away, thighs still quivering as he continues eating you out. You squeal, the overstimulation of your orgasm paired with his continued ministrations driving you wild.

You feel him pull away, exhaling as your pussy finally has some relief. However, it doesn’t last long before suddenly Jay stands and grabs the back of your neck to pull you into a sloppy kiss, all wet from your saliva. You respond immediately; hands flying to his shoulders and hoisting yourself up on his body, prompting him to carry you by your thighs.

“You’re so fucking spoiled.” He groans. He reaches from below to push his pants down and slips his shaft in.

A moan erupts from your throat; his length slipping in easily with your arousal. You cling onto his shoulders, burying your face in the crook of his neck as he starts pounding into you with immense force. You’re moaning in pleasure when his hands are practically clawing at your hips, ramming himself deeper and deeper.

Jay slowly makes his way out of his office making his way to what you assume is your bedroom but stops at the foot of the staircase and gently places you down on the first few steps, his dick not once leaving you. He puts you down to spin you around and enters you from behind; you’re convinced that your hips are bruised at how his fingers are digging into them to help him control the pace 

“Jay.” You moan, barely holding yourself up by your forearms. You reach beneath you to try and stimulate your clit, wanting just a little more something to climax.

He stops you from touching yourself, grabbing both your wrists and holds them behind you. He’s pushing all of his weight up into you, practically lying on top of you. His skin is hot and sweaty, sliding against your back.

It’s almost too much - the pleasure, the emotions, and the love you feel. Your heart begins palpitating in your chest, beating so hard and fast that your chest begins to ache. “Jay,” you whine, the sound high-pitched as you squeal from his ministrations, “I’m cumming,” you whimper though, Jay doesn’t need the warning. He already knows your orgasm is impending, from the way your thighs begin shaking and the way your walls clamp around him.

“Ah. AH- AH! Jay!” you finally sob. Your peak hits a crescendo, and your orgasm ricochets through you with more force than you expected. Jay groans, feeling your pussy ripple uncontrollably around his cock before tightening. Your walls contract rhythmically, and suddenly, his hips still as he begins cumming.

Rope after rope of Jay’s cum slowly fills you. His warmth practically burns inside you, coating your walls white and claiming every single piece of you as his. His cum spills out of you once he pulls out and he rests his forehead on your shoulder as both of you catch your breaths, rolling off of you.

Soon, you’re turning to face him. You lean in and place a kiss on his lips, this time he responds to it; opening his mouth so you could slip your tongue in.

Without breaking off the kiss, he sits up and cradles one side of your face with his hand.

“I’m sorry.” He quietly says in between kisses.

“I’m sorry, too.” You curl up into his chest as he leans back on the bannaster. “I should have just been honest from the start. You deserve to know.”

Jay combs back your hair for you, “You don’t have to talk about it today.”

“No. I don’t want to put it off any longer.”

“Okay, let’s get cleaned and dressed first.” He kisses your cheek before standing, helping you up as well.

Jay helps you clean up and carries you up the stairs to bring you into your shared room, he wipes you down with a warm cloth and dresses you in his boxers and oversized graphic before leaving to enter the bathroom to clean himself up as well to get dressed.

Five minutes later, Jay is back and clothed; sporting another plain tee and boxers. Sitting beside you, he patiently waits for you, angling his body to face yours.

“When you asked me if he was a part of my past I should have told you what I was thinking instead of avoiding the topic,” You pick at the bedsheets, “Kai and I were always complicated, and I can’t say I miss that or him but I do miss who I was before I lost him.”

You sigh, “these past few months have been hard and I should have told you when I first started feeling less like myself. I guess I thought it was all in my head and I didn’t want you to think it was you… I love you and what I feel for Kai-”

Jay tips his head at your sudden pause.

“What I felt for Kai, is nowhere near what I feel for you. He’s a part of my past and..,” You shake your head, “and I’m sorry for being so shady about it. I don’t look at Kai the way I look at you, I never can because I don’t love him. And it’s something that’s taken me time to realize but, I don’t miss Kai. I miss who I used to be when I was with him, before he ruined that.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you in the process of trying to figure out my shit but I can assure you that no part of me is in love with him. I’ve been feeling differently and it’s not because of anything you did or said,” You nervously laugh, “I talked to Yujin about it and she totally went all psychologist on me, but she thinks this is all stemming from a larger problem… she thinks I might have postpartum depression..”

He lifts his hand to your cheek to wipe away a stray tear you didn’t even know fell from your eye. “Postpartum depression?”

“Mmmh. My issues are stemming from my inability to let go of who I used to be to allow myself to be who I am now.” You inhale as deep as you can and exhale with an awkward laugh, “I booked a therapy session with Dr. Lee for Tuesday, we’ll know more then.”

Jay pulls you to him, kissing your forehead, “I’m sorry for not paying closer attention. I’m even more sorry that I’ve been such a jackass to you recently.”

“I should have communicated better.”

“Yes, you should have but as your husband I shouldn’t have missed the signs. I’m so sorry baby.”

You lean into him, slinging your arms over his shoulders. “Are we okay?”

He smiles softly and nods. “Of course we are.”

He grins, nose scrunching at how you curl up like a cat to cuddle his chest. You run your fingers over his hair, slowly and repeatedly, reciprocating the little smile splayed on his face. His lips are on your shoulders and neck, softly sucking on patches of your skin and murmuring sweet nothings.

“I love you.”

You’re sat on the couch in your living room with Jay and his publicist with a random kdrama playing faintly in the background while the twins take their afternoon nap upstairs. It’s been a week since Hueningkai’s apology dropped and the press and fans are still raving over it.

There are protests outside HYBE demanding Hueningkai be pulled out of further TXT promotions indefinitely while some fans are still shading you and your integrity on Twitter. You never imagined your life would become such a hot topic yet here you are.

“We need to satiate the media,” Jay’s publicist, Jaemin, places down his coffee on the coaster in front of him and clears his throat, “I’ve talked it over with your manager, members and the CEO himself. We believe a statement from the two of you and the third party is a good way to clear the air and show to the public that there is no animosity or anything scandalous going on.”

You feel Jay squeeze your hand as he mulls over what has been said. “Why a statement? Where would it be posted? Is this really the best option?”

You pat his knee and chuckle at him, “what is this? 20 questions? At least let the man get a word in.”

Jay sighs and turns to face you. “I’m sorry, it’s just… the press has been slandering you all week and I don't want this statement to fuel that fire.”

Jaemin nods. “I understand your want to protect your wife from the malicious comments being made online and I can assure you that we will be reading all drafts and making edits as needed so it can’t be interpreted in a different way.”

Jay wearily looks at Jaemin before looking back at you. “I...I’m all for it only if you’re comfortable with it, love.”

You look at the two boys and ponder the possible outcomes. “I think we should do it. It’ll clear any and all tension and we can all finally move on.”

Jaemin smiles and stands, fixing his suit he says. “Great. I’ll leave you two then, send your final drafts to me and they’ll be revised, sent back over to you to read one last time before being posted on Weeverse. Your manager should be in touch soon, Jay.”

You and Jay stand as well to see him out. You thank him for his time and watch him drive away before going back inside.

“You’re awfully quiet… Do you want to talk about it?” You ask once you’re seated back on the couch. Jay spares you a glance before sighing and placing his hands on his knees.

“I know I said I would support your decision no matter what it was but.. are you sure you can handle this, _____? That it won’t be triggering for you?”

You purse your lips as you stare at his side profile. “I’m not on the verge of a mental breakdown, Jay. I’m stronger than you think.”

He turns to face you and takes your right hand in his. “I know you’re strong, _____. Your strength is a part of why I fell in love with you to begin with. I’m just thinking about what Dr. Lee said.”

You sigh as you think back to your joint therapy session with Jay two days ago. You opted to attend the first one alone, you didn’t think you could be completely upfront with your therapist had your husband been there in fear he would be disappointed with himself and blame himself for your actions and emotions. Once you had gotten the initial meeting over with, you scheduled a joint one with him for Thursday. It went better than you anticipated.

Jay takes a seat on the lounge chair beside you and peeks at you, letting out a sigh when he sees your face, “sweetheart, you being nervous is making me nervous.”

“I’m sorry.” You shake your head, “I just know things will be different once the hour is over.”

It breaks his heart more than it scares him that you think it’ll be that way. He squeezes your knee to stop it from bouncing. “Different isn’t always bad, I’ll better know how to care for you. This is what we need my love.”

There’s a knock on the door before it opens. A slender female walks in, wearing a black skirt and a baby pink blouse, and smiles brightly at both of you. “Ah, so this is the infamous Jongseong! A pleasure to finally meet you.”

He stands up to shake her hand and offers a smile, “likewise.”

She smiles once more at you as she sits down on the armchair and taps her finger on the clipboard she brought in. “So, shall we begin?”

You look at Jay and he nods at her, easing back in his seat.

She leans forward and crosses her legs.“How have you two been? The twins?”

“We’re doing okay, better than we were last week.” Jay answers, “the twins are good too. They’re spending the day with my mother.”

Dr. Lee nods her head at him. She turns to you, “You must be excited, I know I would be if I got some alone time away from my children.”

You feel your cheeks warm up, “the quiet home is nice, it’s been a while since I could hear a pin drop.”

She hums before looking down at her notes.“During our last session_____ explained to me feelings of loneliness and isolation, has she explained this in any detail to you Jongseong?”

You didn’t think she’d segway into your postpartum so abruptly; your mouth opens, but you shut it immediately. It’s not your turn to speak.

“She has, very briefly though. It was after we had an argument about her ex, I was upset and I also felt…betrayed. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just put him and their relationship to rest. I only really became more empathetic when she explained she might be dealing with a mental disorder.”

“I see. _____ did mention an argument during our last session.” Dr. Lee says as she makes some new notes in your chart before returning her attention to Jay, “I’ll get into her diagnosis in a bit but first, I’d like to know something. _____ explained to me the fight you had in the elevator and everything that followed..”

“It might be difficult for you, Jongseong, but I’d like to ask what you were thinking of from when you walked in on Kai conversing with _____, to confronting her in the elevator, until the night ended.”

“I tried calling her before I left to look for her but she wouldn’t answer and when I saw her holding her phone and talking to Kai, blatantly ignoring my call it just made me feel second place to him again. It didn’t help that she couldn’t be clear about her feelings, all I wanted to do after that was go back and punch the smug look off his face.”

“I see. Why were you so mad at Kai? He wasn’t the one who hurt you, so why take your anger out on him?”

Jay doesn't answer immediately, trying to properly think through his response. “He hurt _____ yet she was still hung up on him. I didn’t think it was fair that he continuously got a second chance with her when he never deserved it to begin with, all I ever wanted was for her to love me as much as she loved him...to open up to me like she did with him.”

“Hasn’t she?”

“No. It feels like I always have to argue with her before she tells me how she truly feels.”

Dr. Lee  nods, “Well, what if I told you she has? She might not flat out tell you what she’s thinking like she did with Kai but you can’t expect her to.” She sits up straight and places her chin in the palm of her hand. “The one person she trusted enough to open up to betrayed her trust in multiple ways. It won’t be easy to do it again. While she might not be at the level of completely opening up, she’s doing it in her own way. When she feels as if she’s ready, she comes to you, she takes her time to think her thoughts through so as to not hurt you. There’s no doubt that she needs to work on her communication skills but at the very least, she’s trying.”

You look at Jay to see how he’s receiving the news but his face is blank.

Dr. Lee watches Jay as well, waiting for a beat to pass before she clears her throat, “I officially diagnosed _____ with postpartum depression, also known as PPD. It’s a continuous pattern of mood swings, restlessness and reduced ability to clearly think. People with PPD can go through very intense episodes of emotions, such as anxiety and depression.”

She pauses to let him process the information, seeing his brows furrow ever so slightly.

“Symptoms of PPD,” she continues, “are feelings of loneliness and loss of self. People with PPD will often seek out people or things from their past to prevent this from happening; along with this, because they’re so focused on their past and what feels like is missing they can’t allow themselves to focus on the lives they have now.”

You don’t say anything, even though you feel like you should. But still, you don’t comment on it and nod at her. “This can lead to a lack of bonding with their children. While _____ hasn’t shown much trouble connecting with the twins there’s still a chance it could happen if we don’t properly care for her.”

“Is this treatable?”

“Yes, there are many options such as medication, therapy and even self soothing measures but your wife has elected to not medicate. For _____, this is what we call cognitive behavioral therapy; a type of therapy that tries to identify and change negative thinking and pushes for positive behavioral changes.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get closure and putting this behind us.”

Jay nods and leans in to kiss your forehead, “okay. If you feel you’re ready then I won’t push.”

Later that evening the two of you sit down to draft your personal statements regarding the current situation before sending them off to Jaemin to revise. The edits are quickly made that night before being sent to you to read. Once receiving the stamp of approval from the two of you both are posted to Weverse and the response is rather surprising. You’re met with sympathy and grace, fans understanding how hard you must have had it these past few days. Engene step up and start trending tags for both you and Jay and you feel relief all over your body.

While Jay wasn’t your first boyfriend, your first kiss nor was he even your first love, he was the only love for you. And that’s the only love that matters, the only one that’ll last and go the distance. It’ll always be him.

[deliciousangelfestival]

Underworld Insomnia || 1 - B.Barnes

Character : Bucky × Psychiatrist Female!Reader

Summary: As a ruthless contract killer, Bucky is feared in the underworld of criminals. His opponents freeze when they see him, as he is feared among them. However, they don't know that he could be warm to only one person: his pshychiatrist. The only person who could make him fall asleep.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 ,-

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Please let me know what your thoughts are. I'd love to hear your feedback. Thank you once again.

In the world of secret societies for underground criminals, there's a secret place for criminals to stay, a shop for criminals to buy their weapons, basically, criminals live like normal people but they can only go to places that are built for criminals.

That's the rule.

There's also a particular psychiatrist for criminals only. Since many of the criminals have demons in their minds.

For this job, Dr. Ben is the only person the criminals could go to and ask for advice and medicine so they could go to sleep. Most of them can sleep.

But the only person who has trouble is Bucky Barnes.

His name is enough to make everyone in the underworld shiver. His eyes are enough to make his opponents freeze.

Bucky is their answer if anyone wants a job done without any mistakes.

With the money from the job he finished, he could have a comfortable life for generations. But he doesn't need it because all he wants right now is to sleep.

"I tried what you told me. Work out until I'm tired, learn something new, clean all my weapons, upgrade my car, renovate my house with bulletproofing, sex," Bucky said while he lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling.

Dr. Ben kept writing while listening to his patient.

"I even went to pottery class, baking class, painting class, and sex," Bucky counted on his fingers.

"Still. Nothing works. I still can't sleep. It's been 7 years," Bucky said.

Dr. Ben, who kept writing, replied, "Yeah, you have mentioned sex multiple times."

"White noise, pink noise. In the end, I smashed the Bluetooth speaker. None of your methods work," Bucky said as he sat up and glared at Dr. Ben.

Dr. Ben adjusted his reading glasses. He remained calm, probably one of the few people not afraid even though Bucky was angry.

He clicked his pen and put the report on the table.

"Do you want to try reading fairy tale books?" Dr. Ben asked.

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you joking with me?"

Dr. Ben replied, "Most of you people have a shitty childhood. Have shitty parents. Perhaps deep down, your kind wants something related to fulfilling your inner child."

Bucky exclaimed, "Woah, doctor, calm down. You're brutally honest here." He sighed, because he knew this method will failed like the rest. "Fine. I'll try." Then he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes.

Dr. Ben picked a children's book and started to read, he flipped through the pages, and began to read aloud, "Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy."

"Timothy was no ordinary mouse," Dr. Ben continued, "for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."

"Stop. Stop. It's so weird listening to you. Get someone else," Bucky interrupted, feeling uncomfortable.

Dr. Ben closed the book. "I'll get my apprentice."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You've got a new one?" He knew that none of Dr. Ben's employees stayed that long, given the fear of criminals who kept coming for therapy.

Dr. Ben adjusted his glasses. "She could tame Bruce Banner; I think she could do the same to you."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Dr. Ben got up from his seat and opened his office door. "Y/N, help me for a bit," he called out.

Bucky heard a melodious voice respond, "Yes?"

The door swung open, revealing a woman with a confident stride and a calm demeanor. She had striking eyes that seemed to hold a depth of understanding, framed by a cascade of dark hair that fell gracefully around her shoulders.

Her posture exuded poise and assurance, hinting at a quiet strength within. She carried herself in professional attire with an air of authority, yet there was warmth in her expression as she met Bucky's gaze.

As you approach your boss, he suddenly puts a children's book in your hand.

You look at him, puzzled. "Huh?"

Dr. Ben pointed at Bucky and explained, "This person can't sleep for years. So I want to see if reading a children's story could make him fall asleep."

Bucky huffs in frustration. As a top assassin in the underworld, it's humiliating if he can only fall asleep with a children's book. "Just do it."

You flinch, knowing the man in front of you is dangerous.

Dr. Ben pats your shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, he's just cranky. I'll be here too. I need to see if it's working or not."

"Okay," you respond, then sit in the chair near Bucky's couch.

Before opening the book, you can't help but notice the tattoos on his neck and hands.

"Are you done staring?" Bucky asks, irritation evident in his voice.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry," you apologize quickly. "I'll start reading. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy. Timothy was no ordinary mouse, for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."

As you continue reading, Bucky listens intently, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he tries to relax.

"Despite his small size," you continue, "Timothy dreamed of embarking on great adventures and proving himself to be the bravest mouse in all the land."

Bucky's tense expression begins to soften slightly as he listens to the soothing cadence of your voice.

"One day," you narrate, "a fierce dragon threatened the kingdom, causing panic among the inhabitants. But Timothy, undeterred by the danger, volunteered to confront the dragon and save his home."

Bucky's breathing starts to slow down as he gets engrossed in the tale, his earlier restlessness fading away.

"With unwavering courage," you go on, "Timothy faced the dragon, armed only with his wits and determination. And through his bravery and quick thinking, he managed to outsmart the fearsome beast and bring peace back to the kingdom."

As you reach the end of the story, Bucky's eyes grow heavy, and he finally begins to drift off to sleep, a sense of calm settling over him.

Dr. Ben watches silently, nodding in approval as he sees the story's effect on Bucky. It seems that, perhaps, there is power in the simplest of tales to soothe even the most troubled minds.

Bucky's eyes felt heavy. The childish story and your calm voice made him feel relaxed. Your voice seemed more effective than white noise in soothing his troubled mind. As he listened, the tension in his muscles gradually melted away, replaced by a sense of peace and tranquility.

Then Bucky opened his eyes, only to realize he wasn't in the same place in Dr. Ben's office anymore. He found himself on a bed inside an unknown room. Panic surged through him.

Had he been kidnapped?

It would bring shame to his name as the feared killer if true.

As he processed his surroundings, Bucky's hand instinctively went for his knife, ready to defend himself. But soon, he recognized the familiar surroundings of Dr. Ben's building. Relief washed over him, though he remained on edge.

A door creaked open, causing Bucky to tense, his grip tightening on the knife. But to his surprise, it was just Dr. Ben.

"Did you have a good sleep?" Dr. Ben asked calmly.

Bucky clicked his tongue in annoyance and massaged his shoulder. "No. Your methods didn't work. I'm still tired."

"Well, that's natural since you've been asleep for three days," Dr. Ben replied matter-of-factly.

Three days?!

He can't believe it, since he has only been able to sleep for one hour each night for the past seven years. Bucky's eyes widened in disbelief as he checked his phone, seeing the date and numerous missed calls and unread messages.

"It worked?" he muttered, incredulous. He had been able to sleep and hadn't even realized it.

Bucky's amazement lingered as he realized that he had slept for three whole days without even being aware of it. It was a stark contrast to the years of insomnia he had endured, struggling to find even a moment of rest.

The tension that had plagued his body for so long began to ebb away, replaced by a newfound sense of calmness and clarity. He couldn't deny the relief that washed over him, knowing that perhaps, just perhaps, there was hope for him yet.

Then, there was a knock on the door. It was you.

"How is he, doctor? Is he still asleep?" you asked, but you gasped when Bucky's intense gaze met yours.

Was he angry? Did he blame you for making him sleep for three days?

"Y/N, is it?" Bucky inquired.

You responded groggily, "Yes?"

Bucky got on his knees, his right hand resting on his left chest and his left hand reaching for you. He looked at you earnestly and asked, "Will you work for me?"

You were taken aback, as was Dr. Ben. Bucky's unexpected gesture felt like it could lead to a significant misunderstanding, resembling a proposal rather than a job offer.

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Author Note:

Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account. Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating. Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!

[stardust948]

Urzai adopts the gaang au

Ozai, mumbling: Where is that idiot?

Katara: Zuko's upstairs.

Aang: I think Sokka went shopping.

Toph: Aang is right here.

Aang: Hey-

Ozai: I meant the spider-fly that I was chasing but thanks for the information, I guess.

~

Ozai, for months: *Debates whether or not he should leave Zuko*

Zuko: Maybe we should split up-

Ozai: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! How dare you suggest such a thing! *proceeds to go on a 20 minute rant about the importance of staying together*

~

[After the Gaang destroy another cabbage cart]

Cabbage Merchant: You again! You and your brats took everything from me!

Ozai: I don't even know who you are.

~

Lu Ten, out of curiosity: How did all six of you even convince Uncle to team up with you?

Aang: I accidentally blackmailed him after escaping jail.

Sokka and Katara: We showed up at his house in the middle of the night drugged.

Toph: I stalked him so his long-lost wife would quit nagging me.

Zuko and Azula: We're his only biological children and there's no refund button.

~

Ozai: *says something sarcastic*

Sokka: *responds in sarcasm*

Ozai and Sokka: 👀

Katara: Oh no.

~

Ursa: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Toph, after Azula read it out loud: Mine just says "Toph no."

Ursa: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

~

Sokka and Azula: [develops a plan]

Ursa: ...That sounds like a war crime.

Toph: It’s never a war crime the first time.

Ozai: We'll change the laws later. Continue.

~

Ursa: You are our emotional support children.

Zuko: Running across rooftops at top speed and breaking and entering is the first and only option.

Sokka: My favorite weapon is a curved piece of steel that can knock my head off if I don't catch it in time.

Azula: Who needs therapy when you have blue fire, lightning bending, and a bone to pick with the Firelord?

Katara: Nothing you can do will stop me from starting riots and committing ecoterrorism.

Toph: I run con schemes for fun.

Aang: I love announcing to enemies I'm the one they're looking for.

Ozai, sighing: …and you are also the reason we need emotional support children in the first place.

[roguelov]

So it came to me that both Hob and Morpheus are Dilfs.

I wonder do they know they constitute Dilfs? I feel like if their s/o (either together or separate) learned they had past children at one point they'd call them a dilf (because they are).

But I imagine hob and Morpheus would have Different Reactions to learning what a dilf is. Like hob has had time, healing, maybe went to therapy like he'd take it in good humor I'd imagine.

Morpheus on the other hand? I feel like He's still neck deep in the agonies from all that due to no therapy and no socialization so I don't think he'd take it as well 😅

Panini 😘 (hydrate, be healthy, eat a snacky snack, and stay demure, cutesy, and mindful)

They are dilfs and they need to know this!!!!!!

“I beg your pardon?” Morpheus asked incredulously.

“Dilf,” you repeated yourself, unbothered by his tone. “You know a dad you would like to fuck, a dilf.”

Hob chuckled, while Morpheus steeled his emotions. In fact, the Endless wasn’t quite sure how he feels on the matter. A dilf? The world of the waking and mortals was truly a strange one.

Morpheus muttered under his breath, “I don’t see how it is relevant if I am or am not a father, we already have a physical relationship.”

Laughing, Hob clapped Morpheus’s back. “You may be right, love, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

Morpheus rolled his eyes.

You smiled at the pair, shrugging. “I thought you would at least like to know.”

Hob beamed, then threw you a sly wink. “And I appreciate the compliment, love.”

Morpheus’s eyes narrowed slightly. This was a compliment? Ridiculous.

“Morpheus?” He looked over at you. You wore a concerned look. It seemed he wasn’t … coping well with your joking compliment. “I’m sorry if I caused you some discomfort.”

He sighed, “It’s fine, my dear.”

Is it? In Morpheus’s mind, he wasn’t a father at least not anymore. So, how could he be this ‘dilf’?

“Morpheus,” Hob calmly stated. He rubbed the Endless’s back as if to draw him out of his spiral throes. “Are you -“

“I said I am fine.” He paused, thinking his words carefully. “I am simply confused, I am not a father.”

Not anymore.

The unspoken words hung in the space between the three of you.

You winced internally. Why did you even say it? Damn it, it was just a silly joke. You hadn’t mean to cause him any misery. How could you fix this? How - how - how -

You blurted out, “Well I could always give you a kid to make you a dad!”

Hob’s and Morpheus’s eyes widened. You clamped your mouth, and internally berated yourself for saying such a thing. A heat licked at your cheeks, threatening to burn you from the inside out.

“I’m sorry!” You shouted before scrambling away. It was the best move given your mouth was only digging yourself further into a hole.

Hob blinked snapping himself out of his stupor. He turned to Morpheus seeing his shocked expression. Morpheus then sighed, shaking his head.

“Are you okay?” Hob asked quietly, making sure he didn’t overstep or push Morpheus too far.

Morpheus glanced to Hob. A smile tugged on the corner of his lips. “A bit … it is certainly never a dull moment around here.”

Hob smiled. “Never, isn’t it fantastic?”

Morpheus nodded, letting the smile completely curl over his lips.

[discount-shades]

Sleepy Baby Part 1

a/n: I got this in my head and couldn’t find another fic that mentioned it. This is the first fic I've ever written.

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin/reader

Warning: brief mentions of car crash and cheating

Word Count: 1100 ish

Summary: Jake must defend his call sign to a stranger, and he is on a timer. 

Previous          Masterlist          Next

You checked the timer on your phone for the third time, sighing at the 32 minutes remaining. One hour, every week, socializing with strangers. That was the deal you made with your therapist. 

Eighteen months after a horrific car crash killed your fiancé and childhood best friend your therapist suggested you ‘get back out there.’ It wasn’t just their deaths that you were working through in your twice monthly therapy sessions. It was the fact that she was blowing him when they crashed. You thought that was something that only happened in movies and tv shows.  Your grief was… complicated. 

So here you were at the bar of the week nursing a whiskey sour until the timer on your phone said you could go home. You surreptitiously glance around. Judging by the uniforms of the other patrons and the décor the Hard Deck was a military bar. You massage your temples and check your phone again, 29 minutes to go. 

“Need some company while you wait for your date?” You glance to your left at the southern drawl. An unfairly handsome man in a uniform with green eyes is looking down at you and you stare a little too long. “I’ve been watching you check your phone,” he explains, “he’s an idiot to keep you waiting.“ 

“I'm not expecting company,” you roll your eyes at him. “But thank you for assuming I’m being stood up. It was definitely the vibe I was going for.” You take another sip of your drink so you have something to do with your hands. 

A slow smile breaks out across his face. “In that case I’m Hangman.”

“I'm sorry your parents hated you.”

At your deadpan response he chuckles. “It’s my call sign,” he explains smugly. “I'm a fighter pilot.” He is easily the most attractive man in the bar and he knows it, and there is something about his inflated ego that makes you want to pop it. Just a little.

“Hangman like the spelling game?” you ask and he nods and brushes your arm, leaning into you.

You hum noncommittally, cocking your head as you look at him. “You know some schools discourage playing hangman.” You tell him. “They don’t want to encourage violence in children so they play Sleepy Baby instead.”

“Sleepy Baby?” He asks in confusion, leaning back.

“Yeah, you draw a baby in a crib instead of a man on the gallows,” you grin at his scandalized expression. “You could change your pilot name to Sleepy Baby, so you don’t scare the children and all.” 

“Darling, you are the only one I’d let call me ‘baby’.” You laugh at his smooth recovery. “What’s your name, beautiful?” He is charming despite his ego and his intense stare is giving you butterflies. 

“Tic-tac-toe.” 

“Imma call you Hugs and Kisses and you can call me Baby.” You can’t help but laugh at his confidence. 

“So if you are not waiting for anyone why are you always checking on your phone?” The pilot sits down beside you leaning forward again so his knees brush against yours. 

You contemplate your answer before deciding that fuck it, you will be at another bar next week and will never see the handsome pilot again so might as well be honest. “My therapist has suggested that I should ‘socialize with adults that are not coworkers or the children I work with.’” You explain. “So one hour a week I must socialize.” You wave your hand vaguely at the bar. 

“Are you one of those teachers banning hangman?” He asks in mock outrage, graciously glossing over most of your explanation. 

“Child Activity Coordinator at a local library actually, but yeah I’ve been know to play a few rounds of Sleepy Baby.” You say with a shrug.“ Some parents get upset at certain things and it’s easier just to avoid it than die on the hill of hangman. Plus there was one little boy who would cry when the man was hung so it was best to avoid the tears.”

“He would cry every time?” The green eyed pilot has a fond smile on his face. 

You nodded. “I mean the same kid also cried when someone stole his imaginary kitten so some things can’t be helped but sometimes it’s just easier to avoid it.” You said with a grin remembering the moment. 

“It’s hard to believe we live in a world where imaginary kittens aren’t even safe.” He shakes his head solemnly and you burst out laughing. The unexpected arrival of the cocky pilot has been a delightful addition to your evening. 

“So one hour a week?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. “How much time do I have left?”

You check your phone, “you have 17 minutes, Flyboy.” You grin. “So what made you join the AirForce?”

He looks offended. “Darling, I'm a Naval Aviator.” 

You blink blankly at him. “I was genuinely not aware the Navy had pilots.” 

“The navy has aircraft carriers,” he grins “who do you think flies the planes?”

“Honestly, I never thought about it and I think I just assumed it was a Navy / Air Force cooperation situation.” You trail off still thinking before shrugging. “I guess you learn something new every day.”

“I could teach you something else,” he sends you a flirty wink.

“I think I’ve reached my knowledge quota for the day,” you laugh back. “But what did you learn today?”

“That my call sign breaks the heart of little boys and their stolen imaginary kittens, and I could use a therapist that suggests going to a bar.”

“Good news Sleepy Baby, I don't think you needed the help to make it here.”

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket notifying you that your hour is up and a not so small part of you is disappointed. You pull your phone out and hold up the timer to the pilot in front of you. “That’s time.”

“Can I get your number?” He asks hopefully as you gather your purse and finish your drink. “We could spend the full hour together next time, therapists advice on socializing and all.”

“I’ll pass this time, but next time, who knows?” You say as you stand, feeling a little sad that you will never see him again. 

“As long as you remember, Hugs and Kisses, I’m in the Navy.” 

You look up at him grinning. “Don’t worry, I’ll remember.” 

As you leave you walk by the jukebox glancing down and see the perfect song on the track lists. You hit the number grinning to yourself as you walk to the door. 

When you reach the exit you turn around and find the green eyed pilot has made his way back to some others in uniforms at the pool table. “Hey Baby,” you call out over the noise of the bar. You grin when he looks up eagerly as the Village People begins to play over the jukebox. “This song’s for you!”  You shoot him a mock salute as you walk out the door. 

[abyssalwyrm0]

Eden gang go to therapy.

Charlie: I'm so happy you all finally accepted to come here!

Adam: I'm just using it as stepping stone to go back to Heaven, If I need to be close to these three fuckers for more time than I would want, then sucks to be me that beggars can't be choosers.

Lucifer: Oh you're just angry because we didn't invite you. If you wasn't such a mysoginist asshole, maybe things could have gone differently~

Adam: As if I would want to be part of your broken polycule!

Lilith: As If we wanted you to join us.

Eve: Actually I would have loved him if he had joined us.

Lilith: Eve!?

Eve: What? He was my husband and surpriselly or not, I loved him.

Adam: If you really loved me you woundn't have cheated on with the two people I hate the most and ruined my life!

Eve: It was a acident! Ruin your life to be more precise, cheat on you was a choice I made.

Adam: Like how Cain was a accident!?

Eve: Cain was the first oops baby but of all things I regret about me, Lilith and Lucifer he isn't one of them, even despite everything....

Adam: Talk this to poor Abel's face, oh I forgot, you can't thanks to your bastard!

Before Eve, who quickly got angry, could say something Charlie left her in the dust.

Charlie: Wait, Cain is my brother!?

Lucifer: We talk about him later, since we are talking about us I guess sooner or later we need to talk about him hehehehehehe.....

Charlie: I won't let any of you avoid it, why I'm only discovering it now!? There's any other lost sibling I need to know!?

Lucifer: Not that I know, Lilith?

Lilith: Why you are looking to me like that?

Lucifer: Well my only childrens are Charlie and Cain, and it isn't like we were monogamous.

Lilith: Despite having been called mother of the Plagues of Mankind, it's just a myth, I have a harder time having childrens than you and believe me, If Charlie have half-childrens you would already know.

Charlie: Ok, good to know about it. Let's go back to your therapy and later on we discuss about my brother.

Lilith: Before it, I would like to ask Eve a question.

Eve: Yes?

The "Mother" of Demons look to the Mother of Mother of Humanity in her eyes.

Lilith: Do you really regret us Evening Star?

Eve: It was good while it lasted, but it didn't compesate all the suffering.

Lilith: Sigh, why I'm the only who don't regreat anything? Why I'm the only who think despite everything it was worth and think we did nothing wrong!?

Lucifer: Lilith, I.....

Eve: Because among us you're the only one who won in the end. Lucifer was cast from his old home into a hell of his own making and me and Adam lost everything that was meant to be ours, meanwhile you got the freedom, power and a realm separate from the gilded cage and heaven you so despised.

Lilith: Maybe because I was the only who tried to make the best of a bad situation. Better on Earth or hell than on a gilded cage without free will.

Adam: Heh, "free will."

Lilith: What you mean with it!?

Adam: You know exactly what I mean with it! If there's another thing that annoys me about you is how you describe that curse as free will! I chose to try to take the control because I wanted to be the top, you chose to leave me and rebel against everything the Elders planned because you desired more than paradise and Eve glady accepted the Apple and ruined everything!

Before Lilith could give her own response Charlie resolved to intervene.

Charlie: Ok, calm down you two before this escalate to a fight. We are here to talk about your problems and resolve them peacefully, we let the talk about the magic of free will for later too.

Lilith: Fine.

Adam: Tsk, let's get over it.

[weirdsht]

"So uhm uh, if you guys have any fluffy fic ideas..."

Cale and co with someone who loves money so much much much even surpassing cale sometimes (one time they went to sum therapy session because of their undying dedication for cash 😭😭)

Does this count as fluffy or boring

What The Heart Desires - LoTCF & Reader

notes: It's hard to rival cale's love for money but i tried my best

tags: gender neutral reader

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

Buy Me Dessert

Navigation Masterlist

The room was empty. All that was left was a single person standing in the middle of the room. It hasn’t always been like that. Just a few seconds ago the room was full of gold and jewels.

It used to be a safe after all.

“Cale! There’s another safe above! Should we go loot it dry too?”

Sigh

He had expected this. _____’s greed for money was worse than his and the cheapskate combined.

“Are you insane? We’ll get caught.”

_____ pouted at that. They have no refute. Guess they’ll have to let it go for now.

Or would they?

“You just don’t want to be troubled right? I’ll go loot it myself. You and Raon can go back first.”

“You greedy punk let it go we already got enough.”

That made the so-called “greedy punk” pout harder.

“It’s not enough. It’s never enough! Plus I have the uniform, I’ll wear it so the blame can be passed on to them.”

Cale only stared exasperatedly at the person in front of him. His gaze conveyed just how done he was with them.

Before Cale thought he was one of the greediest when it comes to money.

He was clearly proven wrong when he met _____.

“I swear, does this world have something like therapy? This punk needs it.”

“Did you say something, Cale? Are you changing your mind now?”

_____ didn’t hear what Cale said as he was mumbling under his breath.

Cale think it was for the better they didn’t.

“Nothing. And I’m still not allowing you to go loot the safe upstairs.”

That got the redhead a barrage of whines. Good thing Raon cast a noise-cancelling spell before he went to Choi Han.

Cale pinched the bridge of his nose. No matter how hard _____ begs he has no intention of allowing them to go there. It was too dangerous. Cale may love money but the safety of his companions will always be his priority.

Even if that companion is so insistent on throwing their life away for that cold hard cash.

“I didn’t say we can’t go back another day.”

That got _____ to stop. They felt as though they didn’t hear Cale right so they rubbed their ears for good measure.

“We’ll go back and loot the other safe another day. Happy now?”

Cale was tired, but _____ didn’t care because they got what they wanted.

With that, their operation was officially successful. When they got home no one asked what had got _____ smiling from ear to ear.

They didn’t need to ask.

“My babiesssss~”

_____ flung themself at the spatial bag that contains their share from the safe they just looted.

“You call them your babies but you splurge using them.”

“Don’t you know about how a parent must let their children free one day? That’s just what I’m doing! I will just love and take care of them for a while before setting them free!”

“And setting them free just so happened to be in the form of the newest and shiniest magical device in the market?”

“You know it!”

Cale showed a sour expression at _____’s logic. But, no matter how hard he frowns he knows that in the end, he’ll give into their whims. 

However, maybe next time he’ll stop Raon from telling _____ just how many safes the enemy base has.

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey, I was wondering if you could do the Batfam with a Teen Former black Widow ( sorry English isn't my first language)

Sure can do! Such a cool idea.

Summary: (Y/N) is a former Black Widow.

Warnings: mentions of the training, killings, is this a character study?,

(Y/N) woke up with a gasp. Another nightmare. Another night of remembering people he has killed. And another night of listening to Dreykov and Madame B.

Another night of near breakage. (Y/N) sighed, removing the covers. He sat up and went to his cupboard to retrieve the cigarettes he stashed. Alfred and some other members were against him smoking, but he wasn't even chain smoker.

He only smoked when he was really stressed out. Or when he couldn't really sleep and was plagued with nightmares. It was still weird for (Y/N) to have a supposed normal life.

More so, with Batman and the Robins.

He took the pack and the lighter next to it and opened the window. He climbed out and sat down on the roof. It was a chilly autumn night and the chill of the air felt great against (Y/N)'s overheated skin.

He took a cigarette, putting it between his lips and lighting it. He used his left hand to guard the flame. Taking a drag, his eyes wondered over the darkness. He squinted at the dark, exhaling the smoke out.

He has killed Dreykov and he destroyed the Red Room. He got rid of the person who nearly broke him. He got rid of the symbol that he carried.

But it is still something that is heavy on him. The Black Widow symbol and the Black Widow moniker is something that he will carry to his grave.

He took a long drag, closing his eyes. (Y/N) still remembers the training. Ballet, acrobatics... Weapons and martial arts... (Y/N) exhaled, opening his eyes.

He was thankful that he killed Dreykov. He couldn't lie and he had to honest. It was... A bittersweet moment. He got his revenge, he got the revenge for the regiment and training he went through... But Dreykov never faced justice for what he did to all of them. And by justice, he meant going in front of a judge, jury and the executioner.

He always like the sound of it. Judge, jury and the executioner. That's what he turned into when he killed Dreykov. He judged him, he gave him the decision and he executed him.

Well that is irony.

(Y/N) chuckled quietly, letting the smoke out. It was fitting.

Dreykov's best soldier, one of the most feared assassins in Russia, the weapon that both Madam B and Dreykov had created. Although nearly broken, he persevered.

He survived.

Only 1 in 20 children survive the brutal regiment and (Y/N) rose out of those other 19 children.

He closed his eyes once more. He recently got into ballet. Ballet is something that was ingrained into him, something that is, well, was used to make them unbreakable. Repat, repeat and repeat.

But despite it all, his passion returned. Bruce was supportive of it and said that if it makes him feel better, he should go for it.

(Y/N) finished up the cigarette and climbed back into his room. He didn't expect to find Bruce, sitting on his bed.

" Hi. " (Y/N) said, making Bruce chuckle.

" I'm not going to say anything about your smoking. " Bruce said, making (Y/N) nod.

" I'm here to talk to you about... Well, I'm going to be blunt. I think you need to go to therapy. Before you say anything, " Bruce said, raising his hand, " I know. But she is loyal and she will take your conversations to the grave. " Bruce said.

" I know. But the Black Widow part of me died when you freed me from the brainwashing. Sure, I will carry the name and the symbol to the grave, but that part of me died. I burnt that part of me. " (Y/N) said, looking at Bruce before looking away.

" I appreciate the thought, but I burnt it. When I destroyed the Red Room I burnt the Black Widow part. " (Y/N) said more securely, looking Bruce directly in the eyes.

" Alright. If you ever change your mind, just let me know. " Bruce said.

(Y/N) nodded, but he knew he didn't need it. He had his family. Jason, Dick, Tim and Damian.

His brothers.

Even Alfred was there.

He knew that with their help, he will heal.

[chocoloveaatcocoalovea]

Sweetened Interruption

mammon x reader, crack, fluff, tickle fights, kissing

Mammon and you relax in the HOL but then a tickle fight break out between the two of you.

Today was an uneventful day.

Contrary to popular belief, the House of Lamentations did have some off days, if you could call them that. They were just... rare. Extremely rare.

Well, you did have to try to wrestle Beel away from the fridge. And stop Solomon from 'helping' the angels cook. And calm Luke down because somebody called him the dog name that started with a C. And... scratch that, today was quite possibly at most, ordinary at a minimum level.

And yet, you treasured these moments a great deal; after all most of the time you were either giving therapy to god's problem children or caught up in both godly and devildom magical, supernatural drama.

So, to be just lying on the bed, having a slow day with Mammon? That was basically a dream come true.

Mammon was reading a comic book on his bed, pillow propped behind his back and humming a little tune as he leisurely scrolled through the pages.

You sat up on the bed with a yawn. You were bored. Sleepy. You needed something to do. Trying to count pink sheep to fall asleep didn't work so not knowing what to do, you dragged yourself towards Mammon.

You moved his hands so you can rest your head on his lap, then tried to cover your eyes and face with the jacket he was wearing; the lights were a little too bright in this part of the room.

However, it was short and you failed miserably and in the process, saw Mammon's concentrated look as he was reading the comic book.

A hint of pink was dusted on his cheeks - goodness, this man knew you liked him and he liked you but still blushed like a teenager with a crush. How fricking damn loveable.

You smiled at his reaction and flapped the two sides of the open jacket, meddling and playing with them like they were a toy.

" . . . "

You let out a content sigh at the cozy silence.

"What are you doing?" Mammon asked in a teasing lilt.

Though your face was covered by the jacket, you could hear the grin in his voice.

You heard him put his book on the bed, to his side.

You said nothing, just continued flapping the jacket with a happy smile, like you were a bat and they were your wings.

"Yer weird, ya know?" Mammon said, gently tracing the smile lines on your cheek with one hand.

This is nice, you thought to yourself.

"It's like a tent. For your face. Head," you said, tugging the lapels of the jacket close to show him your 'weird' logic.

Mammon shook his head with a chuckle, picking the comic book from the page he left off and continuing to read.

You jabbed a finger onto his side.

Poke.

Poke. Poke.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Ehe."

Mammon's smile fell once he realized you both heard the sound that escaped from him.

Oh boy. Uh oh.

With a menacing smile growing on your face, you positively tackled him to the bed.

Before Mammon could choke out a protest, you grinned at him, delighted giggles bubbling up from your lips as you tickled his sides. The maroon sheets under you both rustled with the demon's frantic movements to escape from you.

"AHAHAHAHAH- TREASURE, NO- STOP TICKLE-"

You did not stop.

"No, no, no, wait- "

Laughter.

"Stop!"

More laughter.

Mammon, still writhering on the bed like a worm trying to swim, tried to tackle you and probably, tickle you too.

"Eek."

He didn't succeed but fell from his bed onto the wooden floor with a thud.

"Aaah!"

"Oh my- "

Initial shock turned to worry as you rushed to his side.

"ARE YOU OK?"

"Got you!" Mammon said, impish smile growing, wrapping you in his arms and tickling your sides.

"Oh, please, no- "

You were now giggling uncontrollably.

"Hey! Hey, no, wait- "

"Nope."

You tried to escape but your efforts were in vain. You were guffawing, flailing your arms desperately like some odd creature, struggling miserably, until...

Until... you had an idea.

You kissed Mammon.

The hands that were tickling your sides rested on your waist as Mammon leaned into the kiss.

At first you were giggling. Then you relaxed, both of you melting into the embrace.

"Hmmm." Mammon sighed out once you parted, "That's not going to work."

"It already did," you said cheekily.

And just like that, you turned to leave.

Mammon gaped at you. His face turned pink, perhaps from the boldness you just displayed.

"You can't just do that and leave!"

You, like the mature adult you are, stuck your tongue out.

"Watch me."

"You know what?" Brows furrowed and deep in thought, Mammon stared at the floor, as if debating himself.

When he saw you walking away, he snapped out of it and caught up to you.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You do not," Mammon huffed, standing beside you with folded arms.

"What?" you asked innocently.

"Where are you going? "

Your response was a shrug and nonchalant hum.

"You can't just leave!"

"Why not?"

"Cause- "

Creases in your eyes from the smug smile, you took this as an opportunity to plant a kiss on his lips again, leaving him breathless when you were done.

Mammon blinked owlishly. He was still trying to realize what just happened, mouth still slightly agape slightly from disbelief.

You just smiled, waved your hand with a 'Bye!' like he usually did and turned to leave.

Mammon let out something between a groan and a whine. With a gentle yank of your hand, you were back in his arms again, him pressing your lips together a little forcefully in mild frustration, then breaking the kiss but instantly pressing your lips back together, the gestures so soft, so gentle but leaving you breathless nonetheless.

Mammon stroked your cheek before you parted from another kiss and as he cupped your face he spoke softly, blue eyes starstruck and golden, "You can't leave now."

"I thought you wanted to finish the comics?" You asked, giving him an amused look and tilting your head in the direction the book laid.

After a mischievous shake of his head and a chuckle, Mammon leaned in close to you and whispered softly, "This is better."

And with that reply, he connected your lips once more, silencing your smug laughter with his sweet kiss.

heart divider - @/kimjiho1

heart gif - @/pastelwalks

support divider - @/benkeibear

[her-satanic-wiles]

Dawn Chorus - VI

Dracopia x Fallen Angel!Reader

When you question the Almighty for a third time, you find yourself on the run and escaping a horde of wrathful angels ready to punish you for your insolence. Whose garden should you fall into than Cardinal Copia’s? And he has more nefarious plans for you.

Masterlist ⛧ Commissioned by anonymous ⛧ Series Masterlist

Words: 6.2k.

Reading Time: 25 min.

Warnings: body horror, falling from heights, graphic depictions of thanatophobia, graphic (yet brief) descent into madness, graphic injuries, mentions of death, mentions of conversion therapy, mentions of experimentation on living things, mentions of femicide, mentions of homophobia, mentions of sexual abuse within the church, mentions of stoning, mild sexism, religious disillusionment, religious trauma, slut shaming

Taglist: @da-rulah @teenage-birt-dag @akayuki56 @dopey-fandom-girl @ravensbars @copiaspet622 @onlyhereforghost @ultrahalloweengirl @ad-astra-per-aspera-1976 @dolceterzo @whitepawfics @howlingco @sirianisrock

🔞 MDNI 🔞

As this fic is quite dark, I'm choosing to rate it 21+. Please respect my decision. Thank you.

“It burned down!?”

Your lamenting voice howled through the eaves of the Cardinal’s room, laced with so much shock, you had to place the pages on the floor and stare at the Cardinal. He was sat at his desk, typing on his computer (a device he taught you about after your trip to the library, but he never let you touch). He was in his pajamas and robe again, hair freshly tousled from a day of sleep, and face entirely free of make up, stubble present on his chin where he hadn’t shaved and felt no inclination to. The Cardinal laughed - laughed at your sorrow upon learning the Library of Alexandria had been destroyed in the early 1st Century after the birth of Yeshua.

You saw the Cardinal’s shoulders shake as he cackled at your misfortune, turning to look at you with mirth in his eyes. The tragedy was far enough away from him that it didn’t bother him, but to you it was devastating.

“How could thou laugh in such a moment?” You asked, much more stressed than before.

“Now, now, Angel,” the Cardinal said, his tone still lighthearted but showing a sense of underlying warning, “you forget yourself.”

You sighed and pouted, looking down at the floor. “It doth grieve me sorely. Who would commit such a deed?”

“Christians.”

Your stomach dropped and you looked back up at him. “I beg your pardon?”

He nodded, “Christians. Well, there’s no proof but, Christianity was rising at the time, and they’d gone on a warpath, so to speak. And while there’s no proof they did it, doesn’t mean they didn’t do it. Christianity has done a lot to the human race since you left, and they’ve caused a lot of hurt and destruction, and now the people in the highest positions of power are using Christianity and Catholicism as a way to control the masses and exert their power, even today.

“They were particularly rowdy in the 4th and 5th Centuries, though,” he continued, “when the religion became more popular and spread amongst the people. Thousands of people died, mostly women, because the ‘pagan’ lives they lived were sinful and they needed to be stopped. A woman couldn’t be in control of her own body, feel her own sexuality. She must be oppressed.”

“Hypatia.” You muttered.

You remembered hearing about her death what felt like a short time ago, but according to the Cardinal, it happened over 1,000 years ago. Hypatia was the smartest woman of her time - a genius among men. It was sold to you in Heaven that a rogue group of His children stoned her to death for conspiracies against the Almighty, but you never learned the specifics. After all the questioning you’d done thus far, it dawned on you in that moment that maybe her death was unjustified just as your exile was from Heaven.

The Cardinal spoke again, “Jezebel, Venus, even Mary Magdalene.”

Your mouth widened. “Not Mary.”

“Yes, Mary. They look at her like a common whore, and not the wife of Jesus. They don’t revere her as she deserves.”

“This is not what the Almighty had ordained.”

The Cardinal shrugged. “Well, it’s what happened. That Bible you took from the library is riddled with vile hatred and disgust. Leviticus 18:22: ‘Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.’”

You furrowed your brow. “That seems amiss. The Almighty would never have decreed such a judgment.”

It was true, he never explicitly said anything of the sort. You knew firsthand that even Yeshua dabbled in… well… love in all its forms. Everyone knew, but no one talked about it. You found it difficult to believe that the Almighty would condemn his own son to Hell, just because he loved everyone equally.

“It was changed, do you know what from?” The Cardinal asked.

You shook your head.

“‘Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with women.’ It’s pretty interesting that Leviticus was changed like that when the clergy of the Church were starting to get reported on their inappropriate behaviour with children.”

A flash of recognition appeared in your eyes, and the Cardinal caught it.

“You know about that?” He had his full attention on you now, and you could feel the tension bubbling under the surface.

You swallowed, “I did so. And I did question the archangels. And now I am present in this place.” Answering honestly was the only way you felt like he wouldn’t hurt you. His gaze was steely and harsh, but softened a little when he heard your words.

“They kicked you out for it?”

You nodded. “It was the third occasion I dared to query the Almighty. They intended to cast me into the Abyss, hence I fled and stumbled into thy garden. And then thou…” you trailed off and caught the guilt that flooded the Cardinal’s face. You cleared your throat, “Thou didst subject me to all manner of torment, and at times I found myself yearning for the Abyss.”

“You never told me about this.” He said, quietly.

“Thou never inquired - thou was consumed with querying me regarding His designs and how to govern me. And, truth be told, I know not why I am disclosing this to thee now.”

“Well,” he sighed and stood, “you’re not out of the woods yet. So don’t go feeling comfortable.” And with that, he walked away.

There was a sadness to his voice that hadn’t been there before, and you found yourself wondering why it was there in the first place. Your stomach dropped at the realisation, though, that whatever torment you’d faced before, you’d face again. Would it be at the Cardinal’s hand? Would he be the one to administer the blows despite the kindness he’d shown you since he crossed that boundary? Or was it the Sister who wanted so desperately to hurt you? You couldn’t fathom that the Cardinal still hadn’t told her about his discovery. You knew that he’d even hidden the book from her, but you couldn’t understand why.

Your conversation with the Cardinal had left you feeling less than resolved about your position with the Almighty, and worse, with His children. Until now, you were sure His children were innocents in comparison to the clergymen who’d abused their station, but there was something gnawing away at you now that told you the rest of His children sounded just as bad as the ones in charge of His words. But, you didn’t know who could be trusted.

The Cardinal had stolen you, hurt you in unimaginable ways, imprisoned you inhumanely, drained you of your blood to the brink of death for his own enjoyment and consummation, and followed Lucifer, echoing his calls for the dark and becoming a mirror of Lucifer’s hatred for the Almighty. Perhaps he was mistaken? Lead astray by an evildoer with an ulterior motive. Perhaps he could be redeemed, and cured of his vampyrism? But why were you concerned with his soul when he’d done so much to you? His kindness wasn’t without reason - a person couldn’t change that quickly with no reason to. And you were sure he wasn’t trying to better himself on your account. And after Thomas…

But what if he was telling the truth? What if the Lord’s children were simply acting on the Creator’s wishes, doing what they’d been bidden just as you had? As though they weren’t in control of themselves just as you weren’t.

The scariest part was that you were beginning to see things from Lucifer’s perspective. You were starting to understand why he did what he did, falling so far from grace and establishing his own rules within the mortal realm, gaining more and more followers than he ever had just by merely existing. Thomas had told you the Satanic Church hadn’t needed to advertise in the same way the Catholics and Christians did - they just simply existed, and did so peacefully. It was the Christians who did all the advertising for them, and pushing their own people into Lucifer’s arms, and now you knew it was all the oppression they faced.

Those who followed in Yeshua’s footsteps, who loved unconditionally, as humans were programmed to do, were shunned from society, turned out onto the streets by their own families, subjected to torture to ‘cure’ them from a condition that never ailed them in the first place. And, in more extreme cases, they were imprisoned and executed for their ‘crimes’ and ‘indecency’, despite the fact that the son of the Lord they followed was hailed, praised and revered for the love he showed his brothers - and the people who surrounded him.

It was this revelation that helped you see the irony: the Satanists were more closely following the teachings of Yeshua than the Catholics and Christians were, who were the ones that held him in the highest regard. It was this revelation that made you see that if Yeshua were alive today, he’d have been killed or thrown out before he reached his thirtieth year; and it terrified you.

You sighed, your mind ached with the thoughts that were swirling around inside it. Your stomach churned with the notion that God’s creations were straying more and more into the path of evil than of righteousness, despite their hard work to get into the Kingdom of Heaven after they died. You felt woozy and weak, as though you were plagued with a sickness that incapacitated you. This existential spiral you found yourself falling into began because you learned your favourite library had burned to the ground, and perhaps at the hands of early Christians, and the Cardinal hadn’t even bothered to tell you why. You lay down on the floor, your wings cocooning you like they had when you were trapped in the cage, and curled in on yourself, trying to bring yourself a semblence of comfort despite your mind creating turmoil inside itself, the disappointment and shame eating away at you until you wondered if anything was left.

You slept; you didn’t know how long for, only that daylight was pouring into the room underneath the thick curtains when you woke, and you felt so, so cold. You stood and stretched, feeling a little off-kilter as you reached your full height. You stretched your wings out, too, trying desperately to shake the ache out of the muscles. They felt heavier than normal today. Angel wings were heavy given their size, practically spanning the entire length of your body and even dragging a little on the floor.

You wandered into the Cardinal’s room, silently staring at him as he slept; tucked up in his bed and barely visible beneath the sheets. You didn’t know why you came in, but you were there now. Your eyes roamed over the room and landed on the curtains. You could do it… you could open them and send him back down to his creator where he belonged. You could bathe the room in sunlight and watch him burn to death.

You didn’t think, you just walked over to the curtains and placed both of your hands on the fabric as it met in the middle. You looked over at him, his wrinkled face pressed up against the pillowcase as he slept peacefully, unaware that he was in mortal danger from his pet who’d finally worked herself up to bite back. You lifted the corner, and a trickle of sunlight poured into the room.

Do it.

Your arms froze.

Why are you hesitating? Do it!

It didn’t matter how much you tried to pull the curtains back and flood the room with the warmth of the sun, you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t bring yourself to move at all, let alone even push the curtains back in their place.

“My Lord,” you said under your breath, “grant me Thy strength, that I may vanquish the wicked, cast him back into Hell where he rightfully belongs. Permit me to undertake this task for Thee, to repent, to atone for my transgressions, and to welcome me into Thy grace, where my true calling lies.”

You longed to feel His light envelop you and give you the strength to complete the task at hand, but it didn’t matter how much you prayed, how much of your energy you devoted to Him, He never answered your call. The part of you that still believed in His worthiness told yourself that this was your true punishment: to live with the monster who treated you like an animal despite the kindness that lay beneath the surface, the monster who hurt and betrayed you as if his life depended on it with no concept of your own thoughts, feelings and emotions until he took it a step too far out of his own comfort zone. A monster who did it once, and would willingly do it all again if his previous comment was to be taken seriously.

You’re not out of the woods yet. So don’t go feeling comfortable.

Those words echoed in your mind like the haunting melodies of the church hymns you’d sang to yourself while you were alone in the Cardinal’s apartments, sending shivers up and down your spine and instilling a low-lying sense of fear within your gut. You could end it all now, you should end it all now. You were born a killing machine for the Lord, so this was nothing new. And yet, the hesitation and the lack of movement felt too much to bear in your clouded mind, and before you knew it, you took a step back, letting go of the thick curtains and staring at your hands in disbelief.

The old you wouldn’t have hesitated. The old you would have sent him to the very pits of Hell and told yourself that justice was served. But how could there be justice when the judge ignored the case, and left the prosecution and defendant to rot in the courthouse together until a solution was reached outside of the law? The old you would have acted on her feelings, but the old you died when she fell from Heaven, and was kidnapped by a crazy vampyre with an angel blood addiction.

When the Cardinal woke, he found you sat in the armchair in front of your cage, eyes wide and distant. The chair had been turned to face the cage that held your halo in it, and your eyes were fixed on the part of your body that you’d not touched since your escape. You didn’t move, nor blink, nor acknowledge him when he spoke to you. You just stared with a vacant expression at the one part of you that you could see but not touch. No poking, prodding, or waving his hand in front of your eyes could get you to look at him, or snap out of your trance.

He stood back and thought for a moment, his own inner turmoil eating away at him. Though, you’d never see it. The half of him that listened to the Sister told him to just leave you be, that it didn’t matter if you were broken because maybe you’d be more useful. But he’d grown soft in the time he’d spent with you, and for some reason, it pained him to see you like this.

He stormed through his room, pulling open his bedside drawer and moving stacks of papers out of the way to get to Lorenzo Giovanni’s book, knowing that there would be something in there to explain what this was. He opened the spine and flicked through the pages, skim-reading bulks of text to try and find the information he needed. With each page he turned, and with each passage that he waded through, he began to lose his patience. How could something so crucial take so long to find? Surely it would have its own dedicated chapter?

Eventually, he found what he was looking for:

‘Angels who have been deprived of their halos for extended durations enter a frenzied state in a final endeavour to safeguard their lives. An angel bereft of their halo, with every passing moment, diminishes in their Holy Light. They need not eat nor drink like mere mortals, rather, Holy Light is what sustains an angel’s vitality and vigour. Although an angel may endure without their halo, they must replenish their Light regularly to prevent wasting away and perishing.

‘However, an angel possessing their halo is robust and can only be subdued by metal forged in the fires of Hell. The chamber in which I studied this was imbued with such material, from the nails in the floor to the very structure of the room. Yet, even as I restored the angel’s halo, I persisted in keeping them restrained, as a precaution to safeguard my life and my research. It effectively subdued the angel, allowing me to remove the halo once their Light had been replenished. Take heed, denizens of the nocturnal realm. My infernal assistant met his demise when he gazed into the angel’s eyes, for the brilliance of the Holy Light proved overpowering for one of such lowly station.’

The Cardinal thought back to that time when you’d asked him for your halo, and how he’d denied your request. At the time, he assumed that you were just hoping to get your halo back and make a run for it - he didn’t realise that you were losing your strength. He’d read this book a while ago, but hardly any of the information retained in his brain because… why would it? He never thought he’d meet an angel let alone capture one. Yet there you were, going manic in his chair because you were, in essence, on your last legs.

He grabbed some Hellfire chains and tied you to the chair as best as he could, trying to make absolutely sure that you weren’t going to escape, or worse, kill him. When he was prepared, he unlocked the cage that your halo sat in, noticing the light had dwindled significantly in comparison to when he first saw it all those nights ago, and once his gloves were securely in place, he carefully took it in his hands and brought it over to you. He didn’t know what to do because Giovanni didn’t say in his book… conveniently. So instead he just placed your halo on your head and took many steps back and hid behind his open door. He wasn’t a low-level Hell dweller by any stretch of the imagination, but he was sensitive to light, and wasn’t willing to risk death.

Nothing happened.

He peered round the wood to look at you and was about to leave his hiding spot when suddenly the room filled with a great, white light, so bright it had him hide behind the door immediately. Everything he owned was bathed within your holy light, so much so it felt like his eyes were an over-exposed camera taking outdoor shots. He could barely make out the grain details on the door in front of him, and it was only a few centimetres away from his nose.

He wasn’t sure if it was actual pain, or just his imagination playing tricks on him, but he could swear he felt his skin prickle at the brightness, a light burn as if he’d been stung by oil when cooking. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to avoid his retinas burning out of his eye sockets, not that he knew that would happen, but, for the first time in a very long time, he was scared. It wasn’t so much death that scared him, he’d died before. He remembered the way his body went numb as the vampyric venom engulfed his cells and shut every single unnecessary one down; the way his body convulsed as his blood heated and his stomach withered and blackened; the ache in his bones as his body weight drastically fluctuated from dead muscle to resuscitated, all within the hour.

He remembered how he watched the same thing happen to his mother.

No, it wasn’t death itself he was afraid of, more like the method in which he met his permanent end. He knew how dangerous angels could be to creatures of the night such as himself, how a single tear could burn through his skin like holy water did. Not to mention the weakness to light, holy light included. You were a killing machine, despite your protests, and there were a number of ways you could ensure his death, effortlessly in some cases. You terrified him, yet thrilled him. Like a charmer playing with a poisonous snake, like adrenaline junkies jumping from planes.

You were too weak when you first met to be considered a true threat - but now your Holy Light had returned… now you were a potential threat.

Everything felt different when you opened your eyes, blinking the light out of them. Your body was mended, bones strong and muscles sharp and ready to move at a moment’s notice. Your mind was clear… well, clearer than it had been. You felt whole, complete, normal.

You surveyed the room with newfound clarity, your vision unobstructed by the haze of weakness that had clouded your senses before. When you listened, you could hear things happening from kilometres away, you could hear the wind rustling through the trees outside as though you were standing directly beneath them. You could smell the food cooking in the kitchens below, despite them being nowhere near your room. You could even smell the honey that was created in the hives outside. The familiar tinkling of your halo distracted you, and you almost panicked when you looked to the cage to find your halo was missing, only to realise it was currently on your head.

You tried to fight against the chains, but the Hellfire burned with each movement, you had to stop.

The Cardinal cowered behind the door, his fear palpable in the air. It amused you, the contrast between his bravado and vulnerability now laid bare. You could smell him, taste the fear that bubbled up in his chest, hear his heart rhythmically pumping as the sweat began to form on his brow. It wasn’t until the entirety of your holy light had dissipated, you finally saw him poke his head around the edge of the door. His eyes were trained on your halo, and kept flickering between it and other parts of your body, wary of looking you in your eyes. This time, you weren’t stupid. This time you knew why he dodged your eyes, and knew it would be that way for a while until he felt safe enough to challenge you again. You felt powerful, yet you were entirely unable to do anything about it.

The Cardinal walked over to you and immediately removed your halo from your head, practically throwing it back into the cage. Not a single word was uttered and it didn’t need to be - but when the door to your own cage opened, you knew you would be in there for some time.

Days passed, and the Cardinal didn’t return home for the majority of them. Again, you didn’t know where he was, just that he was avoiding you for fear of his own life. The notion that he was scared sat well with you, to the point where you were almost content being caged.

Almost.

The amount of time you’d spent out of it, free and happy had allowed you to taste somewhat what you used to have. The anger that bubbled inside of you was terrifying, even for you. Each passing second simply added to your frustration, and your imprisonment served as a continual reminder of your powerlessness. You yearned to be free of the cage that held you, to unleash the full might of your divine strength on those who had harmed you. But try as you may, the Hellfire-forged bars remained solid, their scorching heat acting as a harsh barrier to any attempts at escape.

Despite your rage and fury, a spark of resolution flickered within you. You refused to give in to despair and accept your fate as imposed by others. No, you promised to recapture your independence, to break free from the chains that held you back and establish a new way ahead. And, while the Cardinal may have believed he ruled over or underestimated you, he would soon realise his grievous mistake. For you were more than simply an angel; you were a force to be reckoned with, a being of unrivalled strength and resilience. Especially now that you had your strength back.

As the Cardinal eventually entered the room, his demeanour revealed a sense of sheepishness that contrasted sharply with his normal confidence. His eyes darted anxiously about the room, avoiding direct contact with yours, as if he was afraid of what he may discover. Despite his best efforts to appear collected, he radiated an unmistakable air of unease.

You looked at him with a mixture of wonder and caution, unsure what to make of his unexpected return. You’d had plenty of time to stew in your wrath and resentment during your seclusion, and now that you were back in the Cardinal’s company, you were conflicted between a desire for vengeance and a cautious hope for peace.

The Cardinal cleared his throat awkwardly, shuffling his feet as he approached your cage. His hands fidgeted nervously at his sides, betraying the inner turmoil that churned beneath his composed exterior. It was clear that he had something to say, yet finding the right words seemed to elude him.

After a moment of tense silence, he finally spoke, his voice tinged with an unfamiliar vulnerability. “You can come out now.”

With a grateful nod, you acknowledged his gesture and took a step forward, loving the sudden freedom that engulfed you like a warm embrace. The air seemed crisper outside your prison, and you spread your wings, savouring the rush of freedom that ran through your veins.

As you stepped out of the cage, the weight of confinement lifted off your shoulders, you couldn’t help but notice the Cardinal’s refusal to meet your eyes. His avoidance of eye contact communicated volumes, exposing a vulnerability rarely seen in the powerful person before you. “Will thou not cast thine eyes upon me?”

He looked at you, if only briefly, before looking away again. “Sister Imperator wants to try the second ritual this week during the full moon.” He told you.

But as you returned your attention to the Cardinal, you couldn’t ignore the tension that hovered in the air between you. His comments concerning (who you assumed to be) the Sister’s plans for the next ceremony just added to the severity of the situation, reminding you of the dangerous balance that existed within the Satanic Church.

“I understand,” you said evenly, your tone laced with resignation. Despite your unwillingness to embrace the truth of your situation, you understood Sister Imperator’s intentions were not to be underestimated. The notion of another ceremony made you nervous, but you knew you had no choice but to comply with her requests. “Dost thou not desire it to come to pass?”

“I’ll need some more of your blood before the second ritual,” he said, closing the cage behind you and making a move, “but now that you’re fully healed, we have time.”

“What doth the second rite entail?”

He didn’t answer, another question he chose to dodge.

You sighed, “Would thou permit me to partake in at least one flight until then?”

“One. Tomorrow. But you take a few ghouls up with you to make sure you don’t escape.”

You nodded, reluctantly accepting the Cardinal’s requirements. Despite the constraints imposed on you, the idea of a single flight provided a ray of hope amid the oppressive confines of your imprisonment.

As the Cardinal exited the room, leaving you alone once more, you couldn’t help but feel a sensation of unease creeping along the borders of your consciousness. His elusive comments and hidden plans further added to your suspicions, leading you to wonder about the true nature of the second ceremony and your part in carrying it out.

In reality, you knew what the second ritual entailed, but you wanted him to tell you. It was the ritual of temptation. They would orchestrate scenarios designed to appeal to your desires and weaknesses, tempting you to stray from the path of righteousness. Through manipulation and deceit, they would slowly lead you down a darker path, enticing you with promises of power and gratification. But there was a part of you that wondered what they’d use to tempt you so much as to complete their goal. You didn’t want anything enough to be tempted. Except… your freedom.

Would they really gamble the possibility of letting you go free in order to get what they wanted? Quite possibly.

The next day arrived. The thought of flying dangled before you like a tantalising treasure, and you eagerly awaited the set hour, your excitement growing with each passing moment. When the time came, the Cardinal returned to his chambers with a retinue of ghouls waiting to accompany you on your little excursion.

You followed the Cardinal outside, the cold breeze caressing your feathers and rousing your soul’s need for freedom. A wave of unease passed over you as you readied yourself to take off and saw the Cardinal fastening another chain around your wrists. The weight of the metal seemed like an anchor, straining at your spirits and serving as a sharp reminder of the restrictions that still held you back, even in the middle of your newfound happiness.

“This is an extra precaution,” the Cardinal told you, “just in case.”

You scoffed, offended. “Thinkest thou I would soar without my halo?”

“This was the only way I could get Imperator to agree,” the Cardinal responded, his voice much more curt and annoyed, “take it or leave it.”

“Fine.” You huffed.

With a deep breath, you unfurled your wings and launched yourself into the air, relishing the sensation of weightlessness as you soared through the sky. For a blissful moment, you allowed yourself to forget the constraints of your captivity, losing yourself in the exhilarating freedom of flight. The world below stretched out before you, a vast tapestry of earth and sky unfolding in all directions. You barely noticed the two ghouls that flew alongside you, their enlarged bat wings flapping quickly to keep up with you.

With each tremendous beat of your wings, you felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins, propelling you higher and higher into the limitless expanse of the sky. The weight of your worldly concerns vanished as you soared through the air, supported by the gentle currents that took you upward.

As you ascended, the earth below seemed to fade away, its wide expanse unfolding beneath you like a sprawling canvas painted in green and gold. The distant horizon beckoned with the promise of adventure, while the vast expanse of sky stretched out in front of you like a limitless playground, asking you to explore every corner.

As you danced among the clouds, you felt a sense of lightness flood over you, as if the essence of your being had been liberated from its earthly confines. Each inhalation filled your lungs with the crisp, clean air of the sky, giving you a renewed sense of vitality and purpose.

The landscape took on a dreamy character, your senses heightened by the pure exhilaration of freedom. The wind whispered sweet nothings in your ears as it danced through your feathers, while the sun showered your skin in golden light, filling you with warmth and contentment.

Beside you, the two ghouls flew with effortless grace, their bat-like wings beating in perfect harmony with your own. Together, you formed a symphony of motion, a testament to the boundless beauty and majesty of the natural world.

For a fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to forget the trials and tribulations that awaited you on the ground below, losing yourself in the timeless ecstasy of flight. In that moment, you were truly free, unbound by the constraints of your captivity, and liberated by the boundless expanse of the sky.

As you basked in the joy of flying, you couldn’t help but notice a slight but unsettling tremor in your wings. At first, you ignored it as a passing sensation, a blip in your otherwise immaculate performance. However, as you continued to soar into the sky, your shaking became more severe, causing your wings to waver and stutter with greater frequency.

It had been so long since you last flew, so long since you properly used your wings. And like most things in the human body, you either use it or lose it. You’d never gone this long without taking flight, didn’t know that your wings would become unused to the constant flapping and carrying your weight. You tried to push passed the feeling, tried to force your wings to get used to it.

However, with each wavering flutter of your wings, a flood of fear clutched your heart, threatening to shatter the illusion of freedom that had surrounded you. You battled to stay aloft, fighting the inevitable pull of gravity that threatened to bring you back down to earth.

For a little while, doubt entered your head, clouding your thoughts with uncertainty. Had you been too acclimated to the constraints of your imprisonment, too dependent on the security of solid earth beneath your feet? Was it only a matter of time before your feeble wings regained their power and resilience?

As you reluctantly chose to descend, a gnawing sense of unease gnawed at the borders of your awareness. Despite your best efforts to ignore your mounting anxiety, a foreboding sensation of dread hung over you like a suffocating blanket.

The trembling in your wings were more noticeable with each passing instant, sending waves of panic through your veins. You could feel the muscles in your wings spasm and cramp, a stinging pain piercing your body with each faltering beat.

Desperation clawed at your chest as you struggled to keep control, but it was a losing battle against the never-ending barrage of pain and tiredness. Tears of frustration clouded your eyes as you tried to maintain your altitude, turning your once elegant flight into a sloppy, unpredictable plummet.

In a heartbreaking moment of terror, you stretched out to the nearest ghoul, your shaking hand urgently searching for help. Despite your best efforts, your fingers fell short, gripping only empty air as you plunged to the ground below.

Time appeared to slow to a halt as you hurtled towards the ground, the wind blowing passed your ears in a deafening roar. In that quick instant, you felt tremendous sadness mixed with the sharp sting of failure, your mind casting back to the last time you fell so far, your body on fire and screaming as you were cast out of Heaven. You were reminded of the mob that chased you, the pain that covered you as you made contact with the ground, and the horrors that followed. You could feel your chest and throat vibrating - you must have been screaming, though you couldn’t hear that. Just the wind.

You crashed with the hard dirt with a terrible thud, sending a searing shock of pain through your body. The blow took the breath out of your lungs, leaving you gasping for oxygen as darkness threatened to devour you.

Through the veil of pain and disorientation, you could just hear the ghouls’ frantic yells as they hurried to your side, their voices reverberating in the back of your mind. But it was too late: the damage had been done, and you were left to face the brutal truth of your unsuccessful flight.

As the ghouls swiftly removed your damaged body from the ground, their hands soft yet forceful, you could feel the scorching heat of your tears scalding your cheeks, a bitter memory of the misery that had consumed your body. Each movement sent a spike of anguish through your limbs, an unrelenting assault that threatened to overpower your senses.

Your cries rang through the air, creating a terrible melody of anguish and sorrow that broke the silence of the surrounding environment. Sweat beaded your forehead along with tears, a sign of the severe mental and physical anguish you were going through.

In the chaos of the moment, none noticed as the tear landed upon the exposed skin of one of the ghouls, a faint sizzle accompanied by a sharp hiss of pain.

The ghoul recoiled in agony, clutching at the burned patch of skin where your tear had made contact. The area reddened and blistered almost instantly, the intense heat searing through flesh and leaving behind a trail of charred tissue. With a guttural cry, the injured ghoul let go of you and stumbled backward, his features contorted in pain beneath his mask as he struggled to compose himself.

The other ghouls looked at their injured friend with concern, their gaze bouncing between him and you as they tried to process what had just happened. The air became tight, filled with unsaid questions and anxiety as they exchanged uneasy glances, yet they still continued to drag you inside, this time making sure their skin was hidden beneath their clothes.

In the faint light of the Cardinal’s apartments, you lay on the cold stone floor, your body tortured with pain as your limbs gradually healed. Each passing instant felt like an eternity as you waited for the agony to end, a silent plea for relief that went unanswered.

And you were overcome with a sense of dread that covered you like a heavy blanket as you lay there in the strange silence of the chamber. The events of the day weighed heavily on your soul, putting a cloud of doubt over your future and forcing you to confront the brutal reality of your own weakness.

Prev./Next

[autistpride]

Autism Acceptance

Prompt day 7: Performer AU

Word count: 2500

@wolfstarmicrofic

Remus was so excited he couldn’t stand it. He bounced on the balls of his feet and his fists shook up and down. 

“I’d say he likes the gift,” Regulus said to Remus' mum with a laugh.

Remus could see them watching him to make sure he stayed safe as he made his way around the room. He was practically vibrating and he squealed.  

“What did you expect? You just waltz in here and announce that you got Remus a way to meet his favourite people and didn’t think he would happy stim?”

“I knew my brother and his friends were his favourite but I didn’t think he would like it that much,” Regulus shot back with a laugh before his hand shot out as if he could stop Remus from across the room. Both Hope and Regulus gasped.

Remus ran into the table and then the doorway but his squealing and movement didn’t slow.

“He’ll feel that when the excitement wears off,” Hope said with a sigh and Regulus nodded.

Regulus left the Lupin home at the end of the day. Regulus had never realised when he became a personal assistant for the Lupin family, that he would meet someone who would become his friend. Remus was not that much taller than him and he used his communication device for speaking, although he did often express himself with facial expressions and the perfect noise to express his sarcastic attitude. Remus was the master of eye rolls, eyebrow raises, smirks, snorts, and scoffs as well as the ba-dum-tsh and wa wa wa noises. 

Remus’ room was decorated in bright colours and his bed had a tent over it. He needed help with many life skills still, but none of that stopped them from becoming like two peas in a pod. Technically it was frowned upon for Regulus to have developed an attachment to a patient, but Hope and Lyall had confided in him that Remus had come out of his shell and made so much more progress with Regulus as his aid than he had with anyone else.

Remus also had a cutting dark sense of humour. The number of jokes about body bags and comments on eyes honestly bordered on concern to anyone who didn’t understand the way Remus thought. That alone was enough. But then Regulus found out that Remus loved music. And not just any music, a very obscure  small group of people who sang children's songs but in different genres. Hope apologised many times when Remus kept humming the songs while swinging in his hammock chair and yelling in frustration when the older disc would skip or scratch but wouldn’t allow anyone to help him. He listened in his headphones to the same cd anytime he was overwhelmed or tired and so he was often never without the discman. One day when Remus was busy playing in the little pool set up out in the back garden, Regulus opened the old discman and was surprised to see his brother’s face smiling up at him.  

Regulus’ relationship with Sirius was strained after all the things they went through growing up, but when he went home that day, he immediately called Sirius up and asked Sirius to meet him and to work through everything. They went to therapy together and over the months things had improved and while they would always have some hard feelings, they were friends again. So when Remus’ birthday came around that year, Regulus didn’t hesitate to ask Sirius if his friend Remus could meet Sirius. Sirius was confused why Regulus had a friend who liked his music, especially one made for children. After Regulus explained that Remus was autistic, Sirius readily agreed. He even asked what things were sensory triggers for Remus and made a list. He sent Regulus to the Lupin residence that day with the good news and ensured Regulus that he would take care of everything.

The days leading up to Remus’ birthday were long and yet too short for Remus. He was so excited the days seemed to drag on, but with every day that ended Remus would ask Regulus how many more days left. Pressing the buttons for “See friends today?” as a greeting. Regulus would laugh and make some sort of comment about how Regulus “could see where he ranked” or “I see how it is, not even a Hi Reggie.” That always made Remus laugh and he would say hello and then ask again. So Regulus helped him make a small calendar and everyday they would add a sticker to it to help count down the days. 

The night before, Remus swung in his hammock and listened to his discman. Anytime Regulus looked at him, Remus would push a button on his AAC that said, “I’m so excited!” Regulus watched while working on the paperwork for the week and would always respond, “I know. I know. Tomorrow Remus.” 

Remus went to sleep as soon as Regulus left at seven, saying that the faster he went to sleep the faster that it would be the day he met his friends. Then it was tomorrow and Regulus was knocking on the door. Remus opened it and his face dropped and he quickly pressed on his AAC, “its you.” he just held up for Regulus to read. Regulus snorted, “Hi Reggie. Morning.” Remus didn’t laugh this time and he frowned and held up his device again. “Yes, it's just me for now. It’s seven in the morning Remus, they will be here at ten. Okay?” Remus pouted but nodded and immediately went to his timer. Regulus took off his shoes and shut the door before crossing the room making sure Remus put three hours into the timer and set it back onto the shelf to count down.

When the timer went off three hours later Remus threw open the door. Regulus was across the room and dashed to Remus. Remus knew it was because Regulus was worried Remus was going to run into the road, but Remus wouldn't. Remus knew it was to ensure he didn’t leave without someone but it still was annoying that they didn’t trust him. Remus peered out the door to the empty front garden. It was ten. He set a timer. Remus glanced at his AAC. It was actually after ten now! 

“I know you’re excited Remus, but they will knock when they get here,” Regulus said softly when he took in Remus’ dejected expression. Remus nodded disappointed and right before Remus closed the door a small blue Volkswagen parked on the curb. Remus gasped and quickly looked at Regulus who grinned, “Ya thats them.” 

Remus clasped his device to his chest and shook while swaying on his feet and then froze, dropping his AAC when Sirius stepped from the car. This was why Regulus had insisted Remus keep the silicone case around it, even if Remus gnawed on it sometimes. 

Remus held his hand out to Regulus so they could go out the door. Regulus knelt down and picked up the device and took Remus’ hand. Remus squealed and pulled Regulus over the grass to the vehicle and stopped right in front of Sirius. Remus stared at Sirius, unblinking before turning to Regulus and snatching his device from Regulus and quickly finding the buttons he wanted before holding it up to Regulus. 

Regulus read it, looked at Sirius, and burst out laughing, “yes they would be perfect in it.” Remus smirked.

“What?” Sirius asked, confused.

“Do you want to tell him or should I?” Regulus asked.

Remus didn’t wait, he pressed play on his communication device and a slightly robotic male voice read out, “I want to add your eyes to my collection.” 

Regulus couldn’t help laughing at the expression of confusion and slight worry on Sirius’ face followed by James’ as he had stepped out of the driver’s side while all of this was going on.

Remus narrowed his eyes at Regulus who stopped. “Okay okay I’ll get them.”

Sirius’ expression was one of visible panic and Regulus held his phone to Sirius’ face and took a close up picture of Sirius’ eye and then showed it to Remus. “This one good?” He asked and Remus nodded, mouthing the word wow over and over.

Remus knew people thought his fascination with eyes was odd. Many people had said so, thinking that just because he used an AAC device and needed help with everyday tasks, that he was stupid. They talked about him in front of him like he wasn’t there or able to understand the things they were saying. All his past personal assistants had and Remus had decided that if they were going to treat him like that he would just be like that. That’s all they thought he would be, so he stopped trying to show them otherwise. They had treated him like a burden. 

That was until Regulus came along and he took the time to listen to Remus, to understand.

Remus carried Regulus’ phone into the lounge, staring at the picture. Sirius and James looked at each other and Regulus snorted. 

“If you guys want to set up in the lounge, that would be great.” Regulus motioned to the fairly small but tidy lounge. 

Sirius gave Regulus a small hug and then carried his guitar in. James carried an electric drum kit and his sticks. It wasn't the best, but worked in a pinch, and he could turn the sound down so it wouldn’t be as loud. Mary and Lily brought in the keyboard. Regulus took up the rear and closed the door behind them all. 

They all arranged themselves in one area of the lounge. Hope tried to stay out of the way but brought out an extension cord with a power strip for them when they needed to get everything plugged in and they couldn’t all use the one outlet. 

Regulus took his phone back from Remus with the assurance he would print the picture out for Remus so Remus sat in his hammock watching everyone setup and get ready. Regulus held out his headphones and Remus put them on as Mary counted them down and began. 

Remus rocked in his hammock as he listened. After a few songs Lily sang a soft version of happy birthday as Lyall carried out slices of cake for everyone. Remus ate his cake while everyone chatted. He wasn’t often included in group conversations because there were so many people and they talked quickly, not leaving room or time for Remus to use his AAC. 

But Sirius wouldn’t have it. He asked Remus questions or for his thoughts on the topic and waited for Remus to respond.

When the cake was finished, Remus slowly edged his way over to Sirius and gently ran his fingers over the guitar. Remus had watched the way Sirius played. He had this look about it, the same look that Remus felt when he listened to their songs or talked about eyes or cold cases.

“Would you like to try?” Sirius asked next to Remus suddenly and Remus froze as if he was going to be yelled at.

Sirius lifted the guitar off the stand and motioned for Remus to come closer. Remus stayed where he was watching Sirius ready the instrument again. Sirius slowly reached out, giving Remus time to pull away, before gently taking Remus’ hand and placing them on the strings. Remus looked at Sirius and Sirius smiled encouragingly and Remus plucked a string. It vibrated and the sound that it created made Remus so excited he squealed and his hands clenched into fists and shook. 

They continued like this for sometime before Mary and Lily started to pack up. Sirius had James take his guitar out to the vehicle. Sirius then asked Regulus if he could stay longer and Regulus told him to ask Remus. So Sirius did and a shocked Remus nodded happily.

Sirius sat talking to Remus the whole rest of the time Regulus was on his shift. Regulus sat nearby watching while filling out the paperwork he had to do for the week. 

Sirius asked Remus questions. What song did he like best? Did he have a favourite show? What about movies? What other things Remus was interested in. And he answered his own questions back for Remus to know the answers to.

He didn’t shame or judge Remus and when he found out about Remus’ fascination with eyes he asked what about them was so interesting. And Remus told him. 

Remus liked the way the colours in the eyes melted together. He liked how the pupil changes shapes depending on the lighting. But mostly, Remus liked how the eyes held so much depth and emotion. How you could almost see someone's soul when looking at them. 

Sirius stared at Remus like he had just said the most profound things and then begged Remus to let him write that down for him, that it was the most beautiful poetry Sirius had heard. Remus flushed with pride.

When seven pm rolled around, the clock sounded and Regulus started to pack up and put on his shoes when Remus darted to his room. Regulus watched from the lounge, making sure Remus went to his room and not out the door to the back garden and when the door slammed closed and Regulus sighed. 

Sirius looked shocked and concerned, “Hey what happened?”

“He likely got upset you’re leaving. Don’t worry. I’ll talk to him.”

Remus laid on his bed with the door to his tent closed and the blanket over his head. Remus heard the knock and ignored it. Sirius opened it and poked his head in. “Hey. I’m going to come in and just sit here okay. Regulus is in the lounge if you want me to get him.”

Remus bit his nails and picked the skin on his lips before eventually unzipping the tent. Remus looked out at Sirius who was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed and Remus’ AAC in his hands. Sirius looked up from his phone and smiled. “Hey, it's okay to be upset, especially when meeting new people and when having a lot of new experiences going on. And because the fun day is over.”

Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes. He knew it was okay, it didn't mean it didn’t suck that the best day of his life was ending and he would never see his new friend again. 

Sirius laughed and held his phone up to Remus’ face, causing Remus to flinch. Sirius took a quick photo and then turned it to show Remus. “I think your eyes are stunning too.” 

Remus smiled. Sirius pressed a few buttons on the AAC before holding it out to Remus. Remus played it, “see friend Sirius tomorrow?” 

Remus beamed and nodded enthusiastically. 

“I'll see you tomorrow Remus,” Sirius said brightly and waved goodbye before leaving the room and the house.

Remus couldn’t wait for tomorrow.