#willow is a group number

[stalkerish]

if glee was still on they would have an episode where everyone fails to get tickets to the eras tour so the glee club puts on The Eras Tour (Glee Club Version)

[judgmental-eyebrows]

In a lighter season 5/6, Buffy gets to keep taking her college classes. Spike still falls for her, and does awkward things like waiting for her outside the door, trying to carry her books when she’s in a building.

(she thinks he plans to fence her textbooks for cash, and shoves them into his ribs the first time he tries it)

but for the buildings that aren’t as friendly to the sunlight impaired, he slips into the back of the classroom. Thankfully, it’s for a literature class that he finds relatively interesting.

Unfortunately, the professor is very wrong about a number of things, and there’s only so long Spike can control himself before an Outburst.

Buffy is torn between being embarrassed, wanting to stake him, and impressed that he whipped out that lie about auditing the class so quickly. Willow and Tara consider asking him to join their study group. Dawn wants to skip middle and high school and go straight to college if that’s how much fun it is.

[twinksrepository]

Who knew Librarians could be so mean? Or hot?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Pairing: Satan X F!Reader

CW: NSFW, angst and smut, Penis in Vagina sex, making out, embarrassment, being yelled at, safe sex, condom use, semi public sex, listen you bang in a library, modern AU

Word count: Roughly 6K

A/N: It's your first year of University. So far your lifeline has been the library on campus. You might also have a thing for a certain blond haired librarian.

Well. I did say I was having thoughts because of the new Satan and Asmodeus cards. So here's the first fic. The Asmo one is also done but I need to edit it so it might be up soon.

Images belong to Solmare.

You knew university would be hard, difficult even. You just hadn’t expected it to be this hard. From the hours upon hours sitting in lecture halls and taking notes, to the lack of sleep as you never seemed to have enough time in the day to get everything you needed to done. 

In fact, at this point, you’re certain the only reason you’re still alive is because of the library on campus. 

Or. 

More specifically the blond haired librarian with verdant eyes who wore sweater vests. 

Your first interaction with the man had been late at night sometime during your first month of classes with minutes before the library was due to close. You were moments from tearing your hair out as you looked at the note you had as you hurried along the stacks looking for the reference books you needed. Out of your list of five that you needed for your first paper you had found zero. 

Sure you were from a small town. Sure this library was the largest collection of books you had ever seen. But you weren’t an idiot. You knew the dewey decimal system and understood it! Plus the catalogue showed there were several copies and not all of them were checked out. 

So why in the universe couldn’t you find a single one?

“Miss, we’re closing in less than five minutes.” Turning towards the voice you must have looked like such a mess with the way his stern expression softened. It might have been pity, it would have made sense for it to be pity since he did work at the library and was probably used to the first month of each semester to see new students looking like lambs being led to the slaughter. 

Either way, he approached you and looked at the wrinkled note in your hand. “Do you need some assistance finding these books?” 

“Yes.” You sounded pathetic even to your own ears. You had been ready to cry in that moment of defeat. There might have been water on your lashes as you looked at him.

“Ah.” With the paper in his hand he let out a chuckle as his eyes roamed over the page. “You must be taking one of Professor Willow’s classes.” At your nod, the smallest of smiles broke out across his face. “You’re in luck, follow me.” Feeling every bit like a lost little duckling you followed behind him towards one of the tables that another of the workers was cleaning up. “Your Professor gives the same first assignment every year, I noticed a group of what I assume are other students in his classes studying earlier. Ah, here we are.” 

It was like a gift from the academic gods as he handed you three of the books on your list with a smile that made you want to cry again but this time in relief. “Thank you!” You didn’t even need to head to the checkout counter, as he pulled you towards one of the terminals and checked out the books once he had your ID in hand. 

“I’ve made a note on your file to pull the other two you were looking for, is this the right number? We can send you a text when they’re ready for pick up.” This one man was a godsend as you nodded telling him it was the right number and you didn’t realize they offered that service.

“Maybe if you had a little more sleep you might have noticed.” Chuckling with a shake of his head. “I’m certain you feel overwhelmed, just know the staff are here to help. It’s important to find a rhythm that doesn’t burn you out and you look like you’re ready to fall over in a light breeze.” 

Nodding again and starting to feel like a bit of bobblehead. “Thank you Sir! Um I mean…” Trailing off and letting your eyes fall to his nameplate and the few still aware brain cells in your head were still enough to tell you not to blurt out what you wanted to ask. 

“Yes. My name’s Satan. Don’t ask.” And you didn’t. Not when he just saved your proverbial bacon. 

Suffice to say however that interaction had been enough to make you smarten up a little bit. He made a good point, if you kept burning the midnight oil you might not have the energy to finish your degree and that would have been a waste of the scholarship you were there on. Or being burnt out and letting the grades you needed to maintain slip could cost you the scholarship as well. 

You took his advice to heart and started asking the staff for help instead of wandering the stacks and assuming they’d think it a waste of their time. You couldn’t do it alone, at least not this part and the staff were always friendly. 

Yet after that first interaction, you noticed that whenever you ran into Satan he always seemed to have that little smirk on his face as he helped you find what you were looking for. Several weeks later he even shook his head a little as he handed you a tome that looked like it could double as a murder weapon. “At least you don’t have the bags under your eyes anymore, just remember you need to eat too.” 

“Thanks, Mom.” Throwing back at him as you walked away with a playful wink. Trying to ignore the tingling along your fingers that had brushed his green painted nails. 

The more you interacted with him the more you learned about him and he in turn you. It was easier for him to start the conversations based on the books you were looking for he had been able to piece together what you were studying for your degree. 

It wasn’t long before you found you both had a shared interest in reading and not just for school. “Knowledge is power. People respect someone who’s well informed.” He’d stated during one of your conversations with his hand on his chin. It made sense, and also made sense why he was a librarian. You also learned he was only a few years older than you, having finished his degrees in a time span that made your eyes widen in surprise. Knowledge is power indeed. 

The downside you saw as you got to know him better was a simple one. 

You had a crush on him. 

Something you very much kept to yourself and didn’t tell and of the few friends you had made, certain you’d be made fun of for finding the blond attractive. It might have been more being worried it was because he was a librarian because you believed with the way some of the female students fawned over him he was attractive to more than just you. It wasn’t just his looks though, he seemed so earnest in his statements, and in the brief time you’d known him it seemed like he always knew the outcome of events before they happened. He explained it away as being the logical outcome after shrugging his shoulders and going back to work. Add in his tall lean frame, blond hair that fell just over the rim on his glasses with the way he parted it. Those soft little smiles and that slightly arrogant chuckle when he was right. 

Well. 

You were smitten. At least you were also smart enough to know nothing could ever come of it. Besides you didn’t want to risk your friendship with one of the few people that loved books as much as you did. They had been your escape as a child in your small rural town and you’d never stop being grateful for the worlds they allowed you to see in those printed pages. 

At least. That was before the incident. 

You’d been walking along in a corner of the library under an overhang when you felt it. 

A single drop of water hitting the back of your neck as you perused the shelve. Lifting your fingers to the hair along the nap of your neck and feeling the wet spot. Tilting your head a little confused you looked up and felt your stomach drop. The tiles along the ceiling clearly had water stains and they looked new. 

Fearful your eyes fell to the wooden shelves that held so many of the precious printed works you swallowed. Tentatively reaching out to press a finger to one of the spines, wincing at the spongy resistance that should have been solid. “Shit.” Grabbing one of the smaller books that was drenched you hurried back towards the main area of the library to find one of the staff to let them know what you found. 

Grinning at a familiar sweater vest clad figure that had their back to you. 

“Satan!” Calling out to him and glad you’d run into him, he’d understand the problem right away. “There’s a problem under the non-fic-” The smile on his face fading at your appearance.

“Why.” Cutting you off as his eyes landed on the sodden mess in your hand, his voice frigid and his eyes seemed almost dark compared to the usual mirth they shone with. “Is that book wet?” 

You stopped for a moment looking at him in surprise. “Because there’s an entire stack that’s soake-” 

“You ruined an entire stack of books!” You flinch at the way his normally even voice seemed to boom out across the space. There’s a fury on his face that has your stomach dropping down to the floor. 

“What. No. I think there’s been a-” In a span of moments he’s right in front of you and you could have sworn it was the devil who’s name he shared instead of the sweet librarian you had a crush on.

“A mistake? There is. Letting someone like you into these hallowed halls.” His eyes seething as he stares at you while your heart hammers inside your chest and sweat starts to drip down your neck. 

“I didn’t.” You whimper the words before he cuts you off again. 

“Didn’t what?” You can’t take this sudden change in his demeanor, your vision blurry with the fluid forming along your lashes. Your stomach is nothing but knots as you shake your head, feeling your cheeks warm as you're mentally torn between being embarrassed and terrified. As well as something you refuse to name in that moment. 

“Hey, Satan!” Another worker comes to your rescue. “It looks like we’ve got a water pipe burst down in the non-fiction five hundred to six hundred. We need someone to call maintenance and shut it off before more of the books get wet.” 

It’s like watching the wraith that overtook his face wash away as he turned to you with a whisper of your name. His outburst has a crowd watching the two of you and the entire altercation. You can’t take that look on his face, not with the way you feel and the fact there’s been an audience to see and hear him treating you like dirt. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.” Slapping the ruined book against his chest as the tears finally start to fall. “Asshole.” Hissing the last word just loud enough for him to hear before you take off running out of the library. 

You’ve had enough drama today. And the worst part? When he was yelling at you your body had responded, feeling your muscles tighten and your core throb. You did not have it in you to face that you might have a kink for being yelled at. Or degraded like that. 

Back in your dorm, you curl in a ball and pass out. You just don’t have the energy to deal with what the hell just happened and the way your heart beats in your chest like it’s been broken. 

When you come to the next morning you find an email from the student board, apparently, someone, or a few someones based on the detailed account, reported the incident. 

Great. 

You just wanted to put yesterday behind you and avoid the library for the rest of the year. So much for that. With the wording of the email you have no choice but to answer as they want to know how you want to deal with the incident and wondering if you wanted to have the employee face any potential job repercussions. That leaves a weight in your gut that makes you want to throw up at the way it’s worded.

Are you upset because of it? Yes. 

Do you want Satan to lose his job because of it? No. 

Dragging a hand down your face as you draft a response of how while you are upset at the situation and thankful that other students and faculty members reported the issue, you don’t want to take any more action than an apology. 

In truth, you want more than that because his reaction made you wonder if Satan had some anger issues he needed to sort out. Something like that in the email could still end up with him facing job loss. 

Finally checking your phone you see a message from an unknown contact. Clicking it you want to bang your head against the table. 

I had no right to say that to you. 

I understand if you never wish to speak to me again but I owe you an apology. 

I won’t make excuses for my behavior. 

However I made you feel in that moment I am deeply apologetic it wasn’t right to treat you that way. 

The date timestamp show the messages were sent a few hours after the incident, and you have one more from this morning. 

I’ve been placed on suspension. You don’t have to worry about running into me at the library for a few weeks. 

 Sighing you roll your shoulders as you start to type out a response. 

Satan

Did you seriously take my number from the student system to text me after what happened yesterday? 

That’s a bit unprofessional 

Sighing again you look at the device in your hand. You’re still upset but you don’t want to leave things hanging with neither of you knowing where you stand and possibly losing what might be a friend. 

I’m not going to say I accept your apology

You didn’t even let me answer yesterday and made me feel so small like I didn’t matter. It felt so different compared to the person that helped me out so often and reminded me when I needed to take breaks. You did a lot for me without even realizing it. 

So this time let me say it. 

I think you need a break.

Maybe once you’re back I’ll have my thoughts more in order on how I want to proceed with our friendship. 

Rubbing your face as you dropped your phone beside you before flopping back in bed, glad you had a few hours before you needed to be in class anywhere. 

As the weeks went by you found a difference in the library when you were there. It wasn’t that anyone treated you differently compared to any other student. It was more that you realized Satan did a lot of things for you that the staff didn’t do for students. 

When you couldn’t find a book or a certain reference the staff just pointed you in the right direction or check in the system to see the status of it. Compared to Satan who wouldn’t just tell you, he’d lead you to the right stack and help you find it. All the while asking you about the reason you wanted the resource. Or more that he was making comments in that eerie way of his that he knew exactly what you were up to. It made you realize just how much Satan seemed to know about you and how much you missed his presence. 

Stupid crush. 

You really did miss him though, and the way your heart hurt inside your chest at his absence was a sign you were in a lot deeper than you should have been. 

It was almost like a repeat of the first time you met him, minus the mad scramble on your part to try and find books. Well. 

The time was anyway. 

You’d stayed late to finish a paper, listening to your headphones while you typed away tucked in a cubical along a wall that wasn’t used very often with several books spread out across the space. Working on your closing statement to recap your thoughts when you jumped feeling a hand land on your shoulder. 

Flailing and making the worker flinch just as much, pulling one of your earbuds out to hear what the person had to say. “Sorry! It’s almost clos-ing” A hitch in a familiar voice as you turn. 

“Satan.” It tumbles from your lips and before you know it your arms are around his middle. Burying your face in one of his sweater vests. “I missed you.” 

“I um.” Feeling his hand pat your shoulder awkwardly. “I think you might be the one being unprofessional at the moment.” Realizing what you did you jumped back, missing the slightest flush on his face. 

“Sorry!” The tips of your ears feel like they’re on fire as you start to grab your things. At least until you pause remembering the series of texts after the incident. “Satan?” 

“Yes?” He’d been standing there like he was still in shock at the sudden contact. 

“I’m still not ready to forgive you for what happened.” Watching him you see him swallow and his face pale a little. Holding up your hand as his lips spread as if to interrupt you. “That doesn’t mean I’m mad, and well. I guess it’s my turn to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you an asshole.” Sending him a sheepish smile as you go back to gathering your things. 

“You should have done worse, I was an asshole.” There’s a hint of dejection in his voice, but instead of still standing there he helps you grab your things since the library is closing. 

“I guess as long as we’re clear on that.” Laughing as you slip your laptop into your bag. Except when you straighten and find the two of you essentially sharing the space, this close you see the flecks of yellow in his eyes. “I um.” Stammering as you notice the slight split in his bottom lip. 

There’s a waiver in those pretty emerald eyes before he seems to make up his mind. “In for a penny.” Feeling confused by his words and your confusion only grows as his lips connect with yours for a brief kiss that has you feeling weak in the knees. It doesn’t last long before he steps back, creating distance between the two of you. “I guess I’m being unprofessional again.” Slowly blinking you notice the pink hue across his cheeks as he tries to look down at the floor.

“Maybe a little bit.” It’s hushed like you don’t want the words to carry any farther. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t like it though.” There’s a strange little flutter in your chest when his head snaps upwards. The way his eyes widen in what you can only hope is surprise is adorable. Squeezing the strap of your bag a little tighter in your hand as you swallow, hoping the material can wick away the sweat forming on your palms.  “You are a pretty nice guy, well, when you aren’t yelling at me.” Giving a small chuckle as you step closer, certain he has to be able to hear your heart pounding inside your chest like a drum. Lifting your hand and placing it in the center of his chest with a soft caress, parting your lips about to say something more when a voice calls out. 

“Satan!” Whatever courage you had mustered up after he kissed you shrivels up and fades in an instant. 

“Yea?” With reflexes you hadn’t expected he tugs you towards the edge of the wall and places a finger to his lips before turning and taking a few steps before dissappering from your sight into the short hallway that leads to the area you’re in.

“Almost done over here? We’ve got all the tables cleaned up and the books back on their shelves.” What? Glancing at your watch you realize the two of you must have spent a lot longer than you thought just staring at one another. It’s almost half an hour after the library was supposed to close. 

“Yea, just a few more books left to put away.” Satan’s voice is back to that steady tone you’re more used to hearing from him. 

“Oh need a hand then?” 

“No.” You can just picture him shaking his head at the offer of assistance. “I can finish up here myself.” 

“Alright. Why do I get the feeling you plan on sticking around to read after we’re all gone again?” The new voice laughs as if it’s something the blond does on a regular basis.

“Books are more interesting than people.” You can just picture him shrugging in that nonchalant way of his that has his shoulders rising just enough to show that he’s a little bit broader than his figure would let you to believe. 

“Well, have a good night then, and see ya in the morning.” Listening as the other person’s footsteps start to fade away until all you can hear is your breathing and the steady thump of your heart. Only to feel it miss a beat when Satan’s head pops back around. 

“Good. I thought you might have darted down the hallway to make sure you weren’t seen.” Leaning against the wall you’re still tucked against he raises a hand to reach out towards you, only to stop with his fingertips no more than a hairs breath away from the skin of your arm. “Um… I guess maybe the moments over?” That adorable hint of blush is back on his cheeks again. 

Feeling your face warm you shake your head. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be. Just… maybe this isn’t the best place?” Rubbing your thighs together nervously, while looking away from his face and biting your lip as your nerves come back. The idea of being caught making out with Satan in his place work where a few weeks ago he’d yelled at you for something that wasn’t your fault has you thinking this isn’t the right place. Another part of you, finds the thought of it tantalizing. 

“There’s only a few other workers left.” He says it so bluntly you jolt a little as you turn back towards him, finding his face inches from yours. The longer you gaze into his eyes the faster your heart starts to pound inside your chest, banging against your ribs as if wanting to escape from the confines of your bones. Your palms grow damp again as your stomach starts to clench. 

This close you can see the pulse in his neck, the shifting of his pale skin as he swallows and his adams apple moves. As steady as his voice might be, his body is reacting as if he’s as nervous as you are. The glasses on the bridge of his nose sliding down just enough that you make out the slight perspiration on his skin. 

You snap at the same time he does, your mouths connecting in a clash of teeth. Leaning into him with your hand tangling into his hair along the side of his head while he turns. His arms frame your sides as his chest presses you more against the wall, wedged between the bland painted surface and his body. The kiss is hurried and messy, but you don’t care, all you do care about is the way your heart pounds in your eardrums as you move your lips against his. Letting your bag slip from your fingers so you can run your hand along his chest, dragging the thick material of his sweater upwards as your fingers seek out the skin of his neck. 

Panting as you part your lips, wanting to deepen the kiss. It’s almost funny that he makes a similar move as your tongues slide across each other and you can taste what you think is coffee with milk. A bitter blend that's tempered by the tiniest hint of sweetness. Moaning as his body moves impossibly closer, as if trying to occupy the same space as you forcing you more against the wall. 

This close, your core throbs with need. He’s a bit taller than you, and there’s more than just his belt buckle pressing against your stomach. The thought of it has your head swimming with the idea of him being inside your body. 

Eventually, the two of you need to break for air. He’s flushed and his pupils are blown wide, almost hiding those striking irises of his as his shoulders shake in time to his deep breathing. You doubt you look much better. Neither of you moves too far away, sweeping your nose along the underside of his chin as you try to get your heart to slow down. 

“You have” His voice is strained as he speaks, laced with desperation you don’t understand. “No idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Surprised at his admission you let out the smallest laugh that sounds more like a wheeze from your still screaming lungs. 

“Maybe. But I doubt it was before the start of the semester.” Teasing him has him letting out a chuckle as he ghosts his lips along the ridge of your cheekbone, following it to your ear before whispering lowly. 

“I’ll give you that, but it doesn’t change just how much I want you. Or how much I’ve had to control myself when talking to you instead of shoving you against the stacks and leaving you breathless.” Well, shit. If that low rasp in your ear doesn’t have your underwear starting to stick to your folds from the amount of fluid dripping from you his next words do. “Kissing you until your lungs burn while I pound my cock into you so when you cum my name is nothing but a mumbled moan that no one but me can hear. Then.” Dragging out the word with a strained breath. “I’d take you again. And Again. Until you’re a boneless incoherent mess.” 

“Damn. And here I just thought you were cute.” Trying to take away the building tension between the two of you out before your body screams to let him just do that. “Do you think that about a lot of new students?” A bad joke that doesn’t do anything to stop the thundering in your ears and the clenching of your core.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I just think those thoughts about you.” Watching his cheeks take on that cute little shade of pink that you’re starting to suspect is also partly his embarrassment makes your stomach do a strange little flip flop. 

“This is not a conversation I thought I’d be having right now.” Tilting your neck so your lips can brush along the point of his chin. “But I like it.” If how wet you feel is an indication it’s a lot more than just liking it. 

“Shit.” Hissing through his teeth you find yourself blinking in confusion. “I didn’t think you’d want me, that it was just fantasies in my head. I want you right now but I don’t have anything on me.” Letting his hands fall to his slide as he steps back, looking like he’s annoyed with himself. 

“Oh, Satan.” Chuckling you reach down to grab your bag and fish around inside one of the inner pockets. “You mean something like this?” Holding up the foil packet with a shit eating grin. 

“Do you always carry one of those around?” He has a look on his face like he isn't sure what you’re doing with a condom in your bag. 

“They say luck favors the prepared.” Teasing him a little as you lean back against the wall. “Plus, I’d rather have a condom on me and not need it, than need it and not have it. Seems like a good idea right now.” Watching that smile return to his face as he steps back into your space, kissing you again with a moan of his own as his fingers pluck the packet from your grasp. 

“Does that mean you feel like getting lucky?” Amusement in his tone as he skims his hand along your side, nipping at your lips while he waits for your answer. 

“You mean right here?” You definitely want this man, but the idea of it being against a wall doesn’t exactly keep you in the mood. 

“No. At one of those little desks, you were at earlier. No one would be able to see the middle one.” Nodding you place your weight against his body and away from the wall, trailing your hand down to the bulge in his pants and rubbing him through the material. Groaning he lets you keep palming at his cock as his hands land on your shoulders to guide you to the space, sitting down on one of the chairs and patting his lap for you to crawl on top of him. “Next time I’ll do you in the stacks, but for now I’d rather we both enjoy it sitting.” If it’s possible he seems nervous, not that you aren’t as you lick your lips before letting your weight settle. 

An experimental roll of your hips has both of you making some choked noises. The fire in your core is starting to make you sweat, and you just wanna feel him inside of you. “Satan?” Whispering against the shell of his ear with your hands resting on his shoulders, liking the feel of his lean form under your palms. 

“Yes?” A catch in his voice as he says your name with a longing you hadn’t expected. 

“I don’t want a build up, I just wanna feel you inside me. Please.” Whining low in your throat as you admit exactly what you want. 

“Asking like that just makes me wanna give into you.” Agreeing as he uses his hands to lift your hips upwards. “We’ll save that for next time.” Next time. It makes your core clench tighter as you step back and work the button on your jeans open and slide the zipper down before shimming the material of your bottoms and underwear down to your ankles. 

Glancing back to Satan and swallowing. His belt is undone along with his pants, pushed down to his knees with his cock in his hand as he strokes himself slowly from base to tip. It’s not the first dick you’ve seen, you’re not a virgin but you’ve only been with two other people as you tried things. Curious about how sex felt. But looking at him and the curve of his shaft already wrapped in the condom and how long he is you feel your walls clench and a dribble of liquid along the skin of your pussy. 

“We can stop if you want.” He must have taken you not moving as hesitation. Shaking your head before you shuffle closer and sit on his lap with your legs straddling his. 

“No. I want this.” Licking your lips as you place your hand over his chest and above his heart. “I want you.” Leaning in with a gentle kiss that’s more feeling than movement. Sliding your hands upwards to his shoulders you lift your hips up just enough so he can guide the head of his cock to your slick core. “Do you wanna stop?” 

“No.” That edge of certainly is back and once you feel the tip breach your sex you start to lower your body down, letting more of his length disappear inside your walls. 

“Sa-tan” Gasping as you tilt your head back, the burn from the slight stretch adding to your pleasure as his shaft reaches into the deepest part of you. Your butt cheeks clenching as you try to tighten even more around him, like your pussy wants to drag out that sensation of your walls being pushed to the point of pain as long as possible. 

“Fuck you feel good.” Hissing through his teeth as his hands settle on your hips to help you ease more of your weight down on him. A single drop of sweat trails down the side of his face as he watches you, savoring your expressions and storing them away in his memory for when he needs release and he only has his hand to work with. “Such a tight cunt.” Clenching around him like a vice while lightning races along your spine. Making a small noise of discomfort when his tip hits what you think is your cervix. “Easy, don’t hurt yourself.” His voice is soft through his clenched teeth as one of his hands sweeps across the skin of your hip before climbing a little higher under your shirt.

Nodding as you try to breathe through your nose, shit, you’re almost ready to cum just from having his cock in your pussy. Throbbing inside of you to the time of his heartbeat, the stretch making you pant as sweat has your shirt clinging to your back. “Kiss me.” It’s more like a command than a request, but Satan complies none the less. Lifting the hand that had been tracing patterns into the skin of your stomach to the back of your head to pull you closer. Letting him have control of your mouth and distracting you so your body relaxes, because you want to ride him instead of just coming undone from him being in your cunt. 

It’s like he can sense it, sliding his tongue around the inside of your mouth as is mapping it for memory. Keeping his fingers tangled in your hair and doing his best not to cum himself. As much as Satan might have fantasized about this moment, he never thought it would happen, having you here right now stuff to the brim with him was making him want to throw you on top of the desk and buck into you like a wild animal trying to breed. No. He needs you to feel safe around him again before snapping his hips into you like he wants to break you, so make it so your body craves his the way he craves you. Humming when he feels that tight channel wrapped around his shaft loosen. 

As the burning in your core starts to subside you lean back to break the kiss, placing your hands more firmly on his shoulders to steady yourself. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this close to cuming just from being penetrated.” Whispering the words as if sharing a secret before you start to gently ride him, focusing on the way his cock slides in and out of your walls. The way some of the veins along the underside brush against bundles of nerves that has you breathing deeper and freezing from the sensation. 

“If it helps” his voice is strained and the blush on his cheeks has spread to his neck and ears. “The last time I was this close so quickly was my first time.” Its so earnest you can’t help but slide your fingers along the nap of his neck as you close the distance for another kiss, starting to ride him a little faster now. 

Sliding your tongues together and breathing through your nose as you keep increasing the pace, moaning as his both of his hands are back on your hips. Helping guide you and keep you in place as you slide up and down his shaft from tip to base, feeling that coil in your belly growing tighter and tighter. All you can hear is the sound of wet slapping, moaning more into his mouth as he starts to buck up into you from the chair. 

Mewling against his face when you break the kiss, barely any space between your lips as you pant and whine hovering at that edge. “Satan.” It’s a breathless call of his name as you let out another whine, you’re so close. 

“I’ve got you.” Whispered against your face you feel his rapid exhales wash against your sweat slicked skin before you let out a strangled cry as you cum. All thanks to his fingers pinching your clit when his cock was balls deep inside you, moments later a grunt that might have been your name before Satan slams his mouth against yours. 

Slumping into his body as your core keeps spasms around him, his balls pumping more and more of his seed into the thin barrier of the condom that serves as a divider between your sexes. 

When you come down from your high you let out a soft little laugh as you lean your forehead against his. “That was fun.” 

“It was. I’d like to do it again.” Licking his lips as he gives one of your asscheeks a squeeze, liking the way it feels in his hand. “But I’d rather us both fully naked and on a bed.” 

“I live in the dorms.” Lifting your head with a smirk. “And didn’t you say next time would be in the stacks?” 

“I don’t consider this time over yet.” Catching your mouth in another quick kiss. “My place it is then.” Helping you off him before his cock softens too much as you swallow at the amount of cum inside the condom. Shit. You can already feel your body warming at the thought of another round. “Oh, and I’ve got condoms at my apartment.” 

“Then lead the way, Mr. Librarian.” Pulling your pants on and discreetly licking your lips. You like the idea of sucking him off and swallowing a massive load like that down your throat. “Does that mean I’m better than your books?” 

The answer is a laugh that makes you grin from ear to ear. It’s the start of an interesting relationship with the man that’s for sure. 

Obey me Masterlist

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

Horror Movies Pt. 2 | Neil Lewis x fem!reader

Summary: She shares a special passion for horror movies with her boss, Neil Lewis. But it doesn't end there, she also shares his secrets... or at least the ones he can keep himself. He's been keeping one from her but maybe a night of adventure will break the silence and scare them to their senses.

Warnings: Drinking, semi-public sex, boss/employee relationship, struggles with self-image, spying, invasion of privacy, slight disrespect for the dead, smut, moments of miscommunication and assumed consent, unprotected sex, oral, and some fluff.

word count: 3229k

Lady Grinning Soul- David Bowie 🎶

Freak- Lana Del Rey 🎵

Minors do not interact!

“What are you doing, Neil?” She whispered, not wanting to trespass. 

“Having a little adventure since our act of chivalry was all for naught.” He shrugged and smiled goofily. 

“You want to play golf?” She looked between the dark green and Neil’s face. 

“Nah, not golf.” 

She stared at him for a little while longer before ducking beneath the fence. He followed her and they started to cross the green, looking up at the star studded sky. 

“The stars are so pretty tonight.” She pointed up at the clusters of twinkling lights. 

“Wait until you see what I have to show you.” He smiled mischievously and took her wrist. He pulled her across the golf course and through the connecting gate. 

“Where are we now?” She looked around and noticed the distant groupings of headstones. “Are we in a cemetery?” 

“Bingo.” Neil laughed and let her wrist go, running ahead a little. The graveyard was cool and still, surrounded on all sides by tall shrubbery. They climbed the short hill up onto the main stretch of green, walking alongside the grave markers. 

“This feels like the beginning of a horror movie.” She recalled Neil’s previous statement from the morning and he laughed. 

“I like to come here at night. It’s so peaceful and I like to look at the people’s names. It helps put my life into perspective.” He led her to a small mausoleum beside a weeping willow and swiped his arm across his forehead. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” He gestured around and she nodded. 

“It really is but… what does this have to do with the bra?” 

“Ah, well since you can’t use it and Nancy doesn’t want it back, I thought we could leave it as an offering… here.” 

“Who do you want to give it to?” 

“Someone who died the same day that one of us was born.” He stated as he had already begun looking. She helped him and they passed the lines of headstones, checking each name for their respective birth and death dates. They wandered through a few plots until they found a secluded embankment. There was an older headstone with Neil’s birthday listed as the person’s death date. 

“Here.” Neil pointed to the numbers on the stone and smiled up at her from the ground where he was crouched. She joined him on the ground and nodded. “Edgar Allen… that’s almost too weird. It must be a fake name. Edgar Allen? He just needs a ‘Poe.’” 

She trailed her fingers over his name and nodded. 

“So, how do we do this?”

“What, are you saying that you’ve never left an expensive bra at a dead person’s grave?” He joked and she almost laughed out loud when he put his hand over her mouth, shushing her with a smile. 

“You’ll wake the dead.” He whispered and she smiled against his hand, her eyes boring into his. She hoped that her eyes were telling him what she wanted or how happy she was to be with him, even if it was in a fucking cementary. He removed his hand slowly and cleared his throat. Sweat coating his forehead, trapping a few strands of his longer dark hair. 

“We, uh, let’s just drape it over the headstone.” He put the bra over the long rectangular top of the stone. 

“We should say a few words.” She offered and cleared her throat quietly, “May I?” She glanced over at him. Neil was staring at her, his lips parted partly. 

“Uh, er, yeah. Of course.” He sniffed and looked back at the headstone. 

“Mr. Allen, we leave you this offering in hopes that you will bestow upon us the grace of your guidance and experience. Inspire us to be brave and forward with our… desires,” she couldn’t think of a better word, “Help us imagine ways of living our lives to the fullest.” She added. When she glanced over, Neil was nodding almost absentmindedly. 

“Give us a little adventure in our lives, Edgar.” He clarified. 

“Mhmm.” She hummed in agreement and they waited in silence for a few minutes, taking in the serene peacefulness of the graveyard. 

“If this were a horror movie, we would be-” She broke the silence but the force of Neil’s body cut her off. He’d kissed her, his hands snaking behind her head and pulling her into an aggressive kiss. She pulled away breathlessly, he was panting too.

“What-” She started.

“I’m sorry, christ. I thought you were… sending me a signal.” He stumbled over his words. 

“You thought I was asking you to make a move on top of someone’s grave?” She raised a suspicious eyebrow and he chuckled, embarrassed. 

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I just… oh I don’t know.” He trailed off and stood, putting his hands back into his pocket and turning away from the grave. She followed him quickly. 

“What, Neil?” She stumbled after him, up the embankment. He spun around and held a hand against his head.

“I just… I thought that lately there was something different between us.” He looked away. 

“Neil…” she frowned and fought the anger in her voice, “you just fucked someone last night. I don’t know if I should believe anything that you’re saying right now.” She crossed her arms across her chest and looked up at the sky. 

“I, well we didn’t actually… have sex.” He mumbled. 

“What do you mean?” She raised her eyebrow. 

“God, this is so fucking embarrassing,” he pulled down on his face and trilled his lips. 

“What, what is it?” He nearly smiled, finding him too funny to take seriously. 

“Well, she came into the store right before closing last night and put on this whole act about which movie to pick… kind of like the girl in the store today. I told her to pick Arsenic and Old Lace… yada yada yada, she ends up flirting and leaning over the counter, batting her eyelashes at me. I’ll admit that I succumbed to her but as soon as she got me on the couch, she started… eh slapping me and calling me a bad boy and look, I totally get kinks but it was a little too weird for me.” 

“So what happened?” She encouraged him to go on and he looked back at her, his heart fluttering in his chest. He sighed and looked at his feet. 

“We watched the movie and the whole time she wouldn’t stop talking, so she missed basically everything. And when the movie was over, she started kissing me and undressing herself. And when she got my pants down, I couldn’t get it up. So, that’s what happened.” 

She gasped and immediately clamped a hand over her mouth.

“I’m sorry. It isn’t funny, Neil,” she apologized but he shook his head. “Whatever, go ahead and laugh. I don’t know how it happened but I just wasn’t attracted to her. I don’t need a girl who’s a film geek like me but I can’t stand people who just talk through a movie or pay absolutely no attention to what’s happening. There’s not point in putting it on if you’re not going to pay attention. And not to mention she looked-” He cut himself off and chucked. 

“What?” She waited for him to finish but he shook his head. 

“It’s silly.” He sniffed. 

“We’ve already gotten this far, you might as well tell me.” 

He cocked his head, staring at her face in the faded light of the crescent moon. He inhaled deeply and told her, point blank. 

“She looked like you,” he took another breath, “she looked like you but she was nothing like you. I realized that I was only humoring her because she looked like you and for some reason, my subconscious had tricked me into thinking she was you. And after that, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He watched her for her reaction and she exhaled shakily, not knowing how to respond. 

“What happened after that?” She asked quietly. 

“I told her that it wasn’t a good night and she packed up. In the heat of the moment, she must have forgotten her bra but look,” he took a step closer, “that doesn’t mean our relationship needs to change. It's not like I’m in love with you or obsessed, I just realized that the person that I was really attracted to this whole time has been you.” He looked down into her eyes. “I didn’t have time to explain it this morning and I knew how it looked so…” He shrugged, “I actually haven’t slept with anyone in weeks. Ever since you got the haircut actually, I guess I haven’t stopped thinking about you whether or not I was conscious of it.” 

“Jonathan asked me out.” Was all she could think to say and Neil chuckled lightly. 

“That’s a minor detail.”

“He’s one of your best friends.” 

“And because he’s one of my best friends, he’ll understand why I’m doing this.” 

“What if I don’t like you back?” She narrowed her eyes, wanting to stand her ground a little longer. He took one more step closer, their feet almost touching and he leaned over slightly, his breath brushing her forehead.

“Do you like me?” He asked softly. 

“I don’t know,” she lied. He brushed his lips against hers. 

“Do you want to find out?” He teased her and her breath caught, nearly choking her. She couldn’t speak from the nerves paralyzing her, so she just nodded. He rubbed his lips against her lips, not kissing her yet. She brushed her nose against the soft spot of skin below his nose and above his lip, standing on the balls of her feet. Her hands came up and stopped midair, unsure how or where to touch him. Turning his head slightly to the side he kissed her. His hands went from the top of her thighs to her waist and then up to her neck, which he held in place while he moved his head to kiss her. He stood still and reciprocated his slow kisses as best as she could. She put her hands on the outside of his and wrapped her fingers around each wrist. He sucked on her lip and she let her head fall back, giving him a better angle. She stumbled back a little and he caught her in his arms, his lips never skipping a beat as he sucked her and explored her. 

“Are we going to fuck in a graveyard?” She panted, pulling herself away from his hungry mouth. Neil smiled and looked around at the deserted cemetery, empty with the exception of the dead. He shrugged. 

“Do you think they’ll hold it against us? Haunt us for the rest of our lives?” She smiled.

“Are you kidding? They’re probably dying for a show.” He cracked himself up over his own pun and she rolled her eyes affectionately. She kissed him again before he could make another joke and pulled him into the alcove of a mausoleum. There was a stone casket beside the mausoleum and they stumbled over to it, wordlessly deciding to fuck against it. He pressed her back up against the cold stone which felt amazing in the humid summer air. He groped her breasts and she slid a hand down Neil’s chest below the waistband of his jeans. She reached her hand into his underwear and took a hold of his hard cock. She smiled against his lips. 

“It obviously wasn’t a problem this time, was it?” She teased and he groaned, looking up at the sky. 

“No, no, it wasn’t.” He laughed breathlessly as she rubbed her hand down his length, twisting her palm at the end. He went back to kissing her but broke off to whine and pant occasionally as she jerked him off. She pulled her hand back out and spat on it before returning it back into his pants. She fondled his balls and squeezed them, making him gasp against her lips. He reached a hand up her camisole and wrestled his hand beneath her bra. He was definitely a breast man. 

She removed her hand from his pants and pulled his pelvis against her by looping her fingers through his belt loops. With his free hand, Neil unbuttoned her jeans and unzipped the fly. She did the same for his jeans and turned around, sticking her butt against his hard crotch. 

“Fuck…” Neil looked at her ass and felt himself get even harder. He pulled her back against him by holding her shoulder. He kissed her bare neck and carded his hands through her cropped hair. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispered and she sighed softly. At that moment, she felt infinitely beautiful, so beautiful that it would last a lifetime. He pulled down his pants slightly and glanced around before bending her over again. She pulled down her jeans and rubbed her underwear against him like before. She held her hands flat against the stone casket monument and opened her mouth, nearly moaning in anticipation of Neil’s cock inside her. He slowly rolled down her underwear, the hipster style that covered her butt. They were white, ironically. 

Exposing her ass, he moaned and reached around to her cunt and rubbed her clit. 

“God, fuck me already, Neil.” She pleaded and he nodded. 

“Are you wet enough? I don’t have a condom.” 

“I’m soaking wet, Neil. Don’t worry about the condom. It’s ok with me.” 

“Ok, ok.” He smiled and spat on his hand, rubbing the saliva over her folds. Then he did it again, smearing his spit on his own cock. She gasped loudly when he pushed his tip inside her. He grabbed her hips and tried to stop himself from rutting into her. 

“Fuck, go slow… you’re so big.” She whimpered and moaned as he slowly pushed further in. He gasped pitifully and resisted the urge to cum immediately like a schoolboy. 

“Jesus, you feel so good.” He panted and watched as his cock went further inside her. She clutched her uterus, trying to allow him to enter her. He whined as she did so and gave a few tiny thrusts. 

“Ah, ahh.” He moaned weakly and started to fuck her more regularly, feeling her walls begin to mold around him. “Oh fuck, its so good.” He pulled her hips against him with a harder thrust and she cried out softly, her hands sweating against the stone. As she became wetter, he slid in and out faster, hitting the bottom of her uterus each time. 

“Jesus, Neil!” She moaned and pushed herself against him, wanting him further inside. 

“I can’t go any farther, honey. You’re not big enough.” He whispered against her neck and continued to fuck her with the same primal sexuality as a dog in heat. She hummed to keep herself from screaming out. 

“Fuck yes, this is so good.” He praised her and went faster, his pale legs shaking with pleasure. He felt like he was losing his virginity all over again, needing to come already and they had just started. He pulled out and spun her around to kiss her, his hand holding her chin up to reciprocate his kiss. He switched places with him and pushed him onto the ground where he was sitting on the grass. She kicked off her jeans and underwear, still in her shoes and socks and straddled him. He whimpered as she lowered herself onto him and sat completely on him. She shifted her hips back and forth, wanting him to stay completely inside her. His back was against the stone. When she started to feel her orgasm approaching he started to move up and down, snapping on top of his cock in quick movements that made them both cry out.

“Mmmm, fuck…” Neil panted and looked up at her, studying how her head fell back and her neck arched out towards him. He looked down and watched how her cunt took him, so wet that precum dribbled down his cock onto his pubic hair. 

“Um, God, Neil, I’m gonna cum.” She panted and he smiled. 

“Come here,” he wrapped his arms around her and turned her around again, laying her flat on her back on the grass and thrusted into her again. She gasped and clutched a handful of grass above her head. She wrapped her thighs around his waist and he sat on his knees, pulling her up to meet him. He fucked her hard and fast, pounding his pelvis against hers. The muscles in his butt clenched as he fucked her desperately. She covered her mouth and cried out in pleasure. She squirted but he continued to fuck her, chasing his own high. 

“I’m so close.” He panted and ran his hand down her chin. She looked so beautiful below him, mouth still slightly agape in a pleasurable ‘O’ shape. “Fuck! Oh my God.” He cried and pulled out quickly so that he wouldn’t cum inside her. She rolled over and sucked him off, allowing him to fuck her throat weakly as he finally spilled him cum down her throat. She rolled her tongue around his cock and licked the tip as he pulled out, panting like he had just run a race. He collapsed beside her on the ground and laughed in disbelief. She laughed too, covering her face with her hands. 

“Fucking hell.” She laughed into her hands. “That was the best I ever had,” she admitted and he smiled proudly. 

“Honestly it was mine too, and my first time in a cemetery, I’ll admit.” 

“What, you’re saying to don’t fuck all your girlfriends here?” She teased and he shook his head, rolling it side to side on the ground. A pleasant silence settled between them as they caught their breath. She tried to ignore the fact that she mentioned girlfriends. Neil flopped his head to the side and watched her, her long eyelashes fluttering as she blinked. 

“Is that what you are now?” He asked.

“Am I what?”

“Are you my girlfriend now?” He clarified with a small smirk. 

“Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?” She laughed and looked away.

“No…” He rolled on top of her and kissed her all over her face, “this is my way of asking. Will… you… be… my… girlfriend?” He asked between feverish kisses. She giggled and propped herself up on her elbows, kissing him back. He slowed his kisses down and she pulled away with a happy sigh. 

“I guess so.” She said finally and he raised his shoulder to his ears, looking around in childish glee.

“Oh, come on!” She pushed him playfully away and stood. He helped her change back into her clothes and they fixed their clothing. She combed through Neil’s hair with her fingers and nodded her approval. Neil looked down at his watch and nodded. 

“The store opens in exactly seven hours, whatever will we do with our time?” He wrapped his arms around her, clamping her arms against her sides and kissing her neck. 

“I have an idea.” She smiled around his kisses.

“What?” 

“Take me home.” 

“What if you’re a serial killer?” He faked a sense of suspicion. 

“Then I guess we’ll just have to find out.” She teased and kissed him deeply, her index finger pressed against the hollow of his cheek.

[howlingday]

The boys and jaune are at the club looking for a girl so jaune can get laid.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9c9kSjuO08/?igsh=OTJiZTJ0MHJqMzlm

Here's the link to more of the scene on YouTube. And thank you for inspiring me to make something a bit... creative at the end.

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (Smiles)

Cinder: I've got a secret~.

Jaune: Oh?

Cinder: I WORSHIP SALEM.

Jaune: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Harriet: (Chugging shots) See, that's the problem! I can't find a man who can satisfy me! Some guys can go an hour, maybe an hour and a half, but that's it! A man's got to put in overtime to get me off!

Jaune: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Yang: I'm not interested in a guy unless he rides a motorcycle.

Jaune: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Willow: Yeah, baby, well, I'm almost single. My husband's on death row!

Jaune: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Melanie: This is the first date Missy's been on since the doctor separated us!

Miltiades: This is the first date Missy's been on since the doctor separated us!

Jaune: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: I'm into the group thing.

Jaune: ...

Sun: (Smiles)

--------------------------------------------------

Salem: I was a powerful witch in a previous life.

Jaune: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Penny: (Beatboxing)

Ruby: My name is Ruby, and I'm the best~. Everybody always wanna feel my breast~.

Ruby: Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up...

Jaune: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: I've been doing some videos, but what I really want to do is star in my own videos, because I want to become a pop singer, and a rock singer, and write my own songs, and sing my own songs, and then I want to be an actress...

Jaune: (Nodding in and out)

--------------------------------------------------

Tyrian: (In a dress) I hope you don't mind me coming over and sitting down, but I've been watching you all night~. And I wanna tear you apart~.

Jaune: !

Tyrian: And your friend, too~.

Cardin: (Spits out drink)

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: So, how's the hook up going?

Jaune: Terrible. I've spoken to probably a dozen girls tonight and not one of them feels right to me.

Cardin: Pssh! It's not about feeling right, Arc. It's about getting you some so you can stop being such a sad-sack!

Ren: I think what Cardin is trying to say is that you're looking too deep for a commitment. Tonight is just helping you make an attempt with a woman. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sun: Well, you guys might be losers, but I managed to get that groupie chick's number.

Jaune: Yeah, have fun with that. Hope you can find a player two.

Sun: Easy! Neptune, you in?

Neptune: Sorry, Sun, but I'm already spoken for tonight. See, I was just having the most interesting conversation with that hottie in the black dress.

Jaune: Well, be careful, because I don't think you're the only one working some magic tonight.

Cardin: Damn right! That babe in purple was hungry for some Winchester, and I'm ready to serve myself up on a silver platter~.

Jaune: ...Cardin, no. Just no. (Sighs) Ren, can you help him?

Ren: I'm afraid not, no. I'm going to be busy with my own escapades tonight.

Jaune: Yeah? What girl?

Ren: Women, actually. The biker girl and the dreamer.

Jaune: Oof... Hope you've got the horsepower and the earmuffs to land it, buddy.

Ren: I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Thank you for your concern, Jaune.

Jaune: So, everybody's getting laid tonight but me?

Cardin: Ah, just hammer back a few and pick one, Arc. It's not rocket science!

Jaune: Yeah, you're right. This makes brain surgery look easy.

Jaune: (Malachites dump drinks on him)

Jaune: ...I'm going home.

Sun: Dude, don't-

Jaune: Nope. Not doing it. (Walks out)

Neptune: Poor guy... Think he'll be okay?

Cardin: He's fine! Now, where'd that feisty purple chick go~?

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (Walking up the stairs, Sighs) Fucking stupid-ass...

???: Are you okay?

Jaune: Huh? (Sees woman in work clothes)

???: You look like you've had a rough night.

Jaune: That's 1 way to put it. (Unlocks door) But nothing a shower can't fix, right?

???: Ooh...

Jaune: What?

???: I just spoke with the super. He said that side of the building was going to be without water until tomorrow.

Jaune: Great. Just... fucking... great. (Sighs)

???: I... don't think it's as great as you say it is. (Chuckles)

Jaune: No, but it's basically par for the course.

???: Oh, do you play golf?

Jaune: Uh, no, I'm not really a sports kind of guy.

???: Oh, really? Would you say you're a drinking kind of guy?

Jaune: Better in me than on me, actually. (Chuckles)

???: (Giggles) Well, I don't have anything stronger than coffee, I'm afraid.

Jaune: Agh, and I forgot to get coffee today. (Chuckles) Guess I can't get a win tonight, huh?

???: I guess not. But if you'd like, I could make us a cup.

Jaune: ...I don't think your husband would appreciate me coming inside smelling like I do.

???: Husband? (Looks down) Oh... No, I... I'm afraid I'm not married anymore. (Twists ring)

Jaune: Oh... Shit, I... I'm so sorry.

???: Thank you, but... It's been some time since he passed away. Maybe... Maybe it's time I move on... (Pulls off ring)

Jaune: I... I think you should move on when you feel like you're ready to move on.

???: (Smiles) You're sweet, you know that?

Jaune: Yeah, well, sweet only takes you so far.

???: Well, if you're not too sweet, you can use my shower. So long as you don't melt like sugar.

Jaune: (Chuckles) Thanks, and, uh, I promise not to melt in your shower.

???: I should have coffee ready by the time you're out.

Jaune: Oh, well, thank you. Uh, do you have sugar, too, or should I dip you in my coffee instead?

???: ...

Jaune: Too far? Sorry. I think it's the booze in my hair.

???: No, no, it's fine. It just took me a minute to realize you were making a sugar pun, too. (Chuckles)

Jaune: Yeah... Uh, listen, is it really okay if I use your shower?

???: Of course! I was going to use it myself, but you look like you could use it more. (Opens door)

Jaune: Thank you, (Walks in) and I promise not to take all the hot water.

???: Please don't. (Walks in, Shuts door) I could use a shower myself after such a long day.

Jaune: Rough night, too, huh?

???: Well, nothing's too rough for this tough, little lady. (Giggles)

Jaune: And, uh, does this tough, little lady have a tough, little name?

???: Hardly. If anything, it's as delicate as a flower.

Jaune: Well... My name's Jaune Arc. It's short, sweet, and rolls off the tongue. The ladies love it~.

???: (Snickers) Do they, now? Well, my name is Kali Belladonna, but I don't think I can come up with anything as creative as your introduction there.

Jaune: (Chuckles) Yeah, sorry. But at least it's not as bad as the songs I come up with.

Kali: Oh, you sing?

Jaune: Just as a hobby. Is this the bathroom here?

Kali: Mhm. Help yourself.

Jaune: But not too much. (Winks) Beautiful flower like you needs water, too.

Kali: (Giggles) Oh, stop~.

Jaune: (Enters, Locks door)

Kali: ...

Kali: (Sighs)

Kali: Kali Belladonna, this is how you get hurt.

Kali: (Takes off clothes, Unlocks door) Well... Here's hoping this is worth it...

[is-the-thing-actually-jewish]

Okay i saw your answer on etrogs so it made me wonder: etrog vs rimon, which is more Jewish?? (I’m not actually invested in a definite answer, but I’m VERY invested in the debate)

Rating: HERE’S THE DEBATE YOU WANTED 

Answering this question necessarily requires a working definition of what makes something “more” or “less” Jewish, and what that definition is results in several different answers with their corresponding justifications. Does “more Jewish” mean “more important to Judaism religiously”? Or “more important to Jewish culture?” Or “belonging uniquely to Jews as opposed to any other enthno-religious group?” So, here goes: 

More religiously important: ETROG. The etrog, also known as the citron, is one of the four species critical to the celebration of the Festival of Sukkot. Leviticus 23:40 commands that “on the first day [of Sukkot] you shall take the product of hadar trees, branches of palm trees, boughs of leafy trees, and willows of the brook, and you shall rejoice before your God seven days.” “Hadar” translates to “splendor” or “beauty” and is traditionally read to refer to the etrog tree. Interestingly, the Jerusalem Talmud suggests the possibility that “hadar tree” could refer to pomegranates before dismissing it, as the pomegranate has a “beautiful fruit but not beautiful wood,” (or possibly vice versa, scribal texts disagree), whereas the etrog has both beautiful fruit and beautiful wood, along a beautiful scent. (Jerusalem Talmud Sukkah 3:5:2). All that aside, there is mitzvah d’orieta (a religious obligation directly from the Torah, as opposed to an obligation established by the rabbis, a mitzvah d’rabbanan) that requires the use of the etrog, whereas all religious use of the pomegranate, such as at a Tu B’shvat Seder or as a siman on Rosh HaShanah, have merely the force of minhag (religious custom, not law). 

More important to Jewish culture: RIMON. Pomegranates feature in a huge amount of Jewish art, especially as decoration on pretty much any Jewish ritual item. You can find them on everything from ketubot (marriage contracts) to hanukkiot (hanukkah menorahs). I’ve seen pomegranate tallitot, pomegranate mezuzot, pomegranate tzedakah boxes, etc. Personally, in my house, we have four different pomegranate mezuzot, a pomegranate hand-washing cup for ritual handwashing, pomegranate candlesticks, a pomegranate kiddush cup, and, ironically enough, an etrog box decorated with— you guessed it— pomegranates. (I also have pomegranate earrings and pomegranate socks, thank you fiance) (At the time of this writing, this blog is also a Jewish thing decorated with pomegranates). A search for “pomegranate” on Judaica.com offers 197 results, whereas a search for “etrog” turns up 4 actual lulav and etrog sets, plus 13 decorative boxes designed to safely hold one’s etrog during sukkot and not as decoration at all. 

Pomegranates are one of the seven species biblically associated with the land of Israel, along with wheat, barley, grapes, fig, olives, and dates (Deuteronomy 8:8)-- a list that does not include etrogim. They are also an important motif throughout Shir haShirim (Song of Songs), in which the lovers frequently compare each other’s beauty to that of a pomegranate. Pomegranates symbolize beauty, fertility, fecundity, mitzvot, and merit, as in the annual Rosh HaShanah wish that “our merits be as plentiful as the seeds of the pomegranate.” A common (though inaccurate) bit of folk wisdom gives the number of seeds in a pomegranate as 613, one for each of the commandments given in the Torah. 

In a particularly entertaining digression in the Talmud (Bava Metzia 8a) in which the rabbis are comparing their physical attributes (yes, this means exactly what you think it does), the narrative voice pauses to explain that if you want to understand just how unbelievably gorgeous Rabbi Yochanan was, you should take a “silver goblet from the smithy and fill it with red pomegranate seeds and place a diadem of red roses upon the lip of the goblet, and position it between the sunlight and shade. That luster is a semblance of Rabbi Yoḥanan’s beauty.” Does this really support my thesis? As minor evidence at most, but I will seize any opportunity to share that description. 

Meanwhile, the etrog does not appear as a symbol or decoration in and of itself, only in the context of Sukkot and the other three Sukkot species. You may indeed see an etrog on the Torah curtain in Tishrei or in a panel of stained glass in the synagogue… but you’ll only know it’s an etrog because it has the lulav right next to it, generally as part of an array of holiday-related symbols. (I do, in fact, also own an etrog earring, but just the one— the other one is a lulav, thank you sibling.) There are a plethora of midrashim on what exactly the etrog symbolizes, but always as part of a set. For example, it’s often associated with the heart, to go along with the palm frond’s spine, the myrtle’s mouth, and the willow’s eye. As my fiance put it, “If you see a pomegranate on something, there’s a decent chance it’s Jewish. But without the lulav, an etrog just looks like a lemon, and there’s nothing particularly Jewish about lemons.” 

Belonging Uniquely to Jews: ETROG. The citron is widely agreed to be one of three “true” members of the citrus family, along with the mandarin and pomelo, with all others the results of hybridization. Archeological and primary-document research confirms that the citron originated in eastern India and southern China, and was found in Sumerian ruins dating from more than six thousand years ago. It is referenced in the Vajasaneiy Samhita, a compilation of Vedic religion texts, called Yajur-Veda (ca. 1200-1000 B.C.E), and early Greek and Latin writers describe the citron clearly, mentioning its use as an antidote to poisons and a way to ward off moths from one’s clothes.* However, a 2015 study found evidence that the diffusion of the citron throughout southern Italy and the surrounding region dated to the destruction of the Second Temple and subsequent Jewish diaspora. The study concludes that their results “evidence the special role played by Jews in the spread of the citron as the authentic sacred fruit used in their Tabernacles ritual.”* It is worth noting that there is a variety of citron known as “Buddha’s Hand” that may be used as offerings in Buddhist temples, but it looks so dramatically different from what we know as an etrog as to be a different item entirely (and, indeed, multiple rabbis have ruled that it should not be used for fulfilling the mitzvah). Thus, the etrog is inextricably and uniquely linked to Jews. 

On the other side of the debate, pomegranates appear frequently in art, stories, and cultural artifacts throughout the world, particularly in the Middle and Near East. These stories range from the Ancient Greek myth of Hades and Persophone, whose consumption of pomegranate seeds kept her in the underworld for the winter each year, to a Buddhist legend of a child-eating/stealing demoness whom the Buddha convinced to only eat pomegranates and become a patron goddess of children.  Greece, Armenia, and Azerbaijan, among others, consider the pomegranate to be one of their important symbols. Traditions regarding pomegranates abound, including a Greek custom of smashing a pomegranate on the new year for good luck. They are widely considered a symbol of fertility, abundance, and good luck, similarly to their symbolism in Judaism. In short, while Jews are very into pomegranates, so are a lot of other cultures. 

*Gina Maruca, et al. “Religious and cultural significance of the citron (citrus medica L. ‘diamante’) from Calabria (South Italy): A biblical fruit of the mediterranean land.” Journal of Environmental Science and Engineering A, vol. 4, no. 4, 28 Apr. 2015, https://doi.org/10.17265/2162-5298/2015.04.006.

[leveloneandup]

Christen Press on potential Angel City sale: ‘It allows the club to continue to professionalize’

Willow Bay and her husband, Disney CEO Bob Iger, are close to purchasing a controlling stake of Angel City FC. There’s no public timeline for when the deal will be done. Still, the new ownership group — and the numbers around their investment, somewhere in the ballpark of $300 million — has reignited discussions about NWSL club valuations and the rapid growth of women’s soccer here in the United States.

Angel City forward Christen Press, who was also the team’s first signing, spoke to The Athletic on her way to training on Wednesday morning. Immediately, she noted she was following the potential sale through media reports herself. Her reaction — and that of her fellow players — was one of excitement.

Press said those numbers shouldn’t be surprising to anyone. Not if you’ve been paying attention, anyway.

“When you start to see valuations as a player, and as someone who has a very vested interest in the business of women’s sports, there’s two things,” she continued. “First thing I think is, ‘Hell yeah.’ This is exactly how it should be, right? On our podcast, we just talked to Ali Krieger about how, as a novice broadcaster, she’s making more money than she did as a player. These types of sales and deals are working towards changing that.”

For her second point, Press said that Angel City has gotten a lot right through the first few years in the league. Whether that’s game day experience, business, or community, all of those things are already working.

“They also have a lot of things that they need to get right, and a sale like this is a lot of money to the club,” Press said. “It allows the club to continue to professionalize and push the envelope in terms of the expectations for women’s sports. I do think Angel City recognizes that they have a lot of room to grow on that end.”

Press called the team a “zero to one project,” but one that needs a different level of funding to go from one to two. That’s along the same lines as what one early investor told the Los Angeles Times in March when the news broke that Angel City was considering selling a controlling stake.

“What’s been built at Angel City in three short years is nothing short of incredible. And in high-growth companies, it is absolutely normal to step back and look at ‘what do we need to continue this growth?’” Sarah Harden, CEO of Hello Sunshine, said. “This board has determined that this is the right time to bring in a new major investor. That’s it. That is the story.”

Of course, Angel City hasn’t been the only NWSL team to explore a sale — though they have the more positive distinction of exploring a move willingly. Also in March, San Diego Wave FC made headlines for setting a new record, with the club’s principal owner Rob Burkle agreeing to sell to the Levine Leichtman family at a total valuation of $120 million. The valuations of NWSL teams are being watched on a global scale as well. For instance, Chelsea has started to explore the idea of selling a minority stake in their women’s team, using Angel City’s previous valuation of $180 million as their benchmark.

“All of the measures of women’s sports right now are growing, and I think the NWSL is at the forefront of a lot of that,” Pete Giorgio, who leads Deloitte’s global and U.S. sports practice, told The Athletic in March. “Those large valuations and these large transactions validate both the foresight, but also the investment that a lot of people made in the first place.”

As women’s soccer analyst Kim McCauley pointed out, Michele Kang received plenty of questions when she seemingly overpaid for the Washington Spirit in 2022. Kang had originally offered $21 million for the controlling stake in the team. She closed the deal at $35 million, which only two years ago seemed like an absurd number.

Seattle Reign FC finally wrapped its sale last month, with the Seattle Sounders and Carlyle Group taking over the club for $58 million (that club’s sale was the result of John Textor’s takeover of Lyon and a sole focus on the men’s team, with Olympique Lyonnais also sold to Kang). Before that, the sales of the Chicago Red Stars — a total bid of $60 million, with $35.5 million as the purchase price — and Portland Thorns FC at $63 million were also finalized, with both of those changes coming following the league’s abuse scandal.

“If you have an ownership group that needs to be out, it’s actually really hard to compartmentalize, and I think we’ve seen that in the Chicagos and the Portlands, how it’s affected the players,” Press said. For her, it’s different in Los Angeles, as she pointed to the regular presence of owners and investors at games. “For this, it’s only positive. We know our ownership group.”

The NWSL is going through an incredible transformation. Even with the positive impact of some of those changes and investments, it’s not hard to understand why some fans and supporters might get a little nervous about this much money coming in and how it might change the sport. Some of those changes are deeply necessary and some will absolutely affect the culture of women’s soccer in America.

Press has been part of what she called “a generation of change”, whether that’s on the USWNT with their fight for equal pay and a new collective bargaining agreement, or her NWSL career, which started in 2014 with the Red Stars. “I can’t even remember what that first field that I played on in Chicago was called, but I was driving out of the city for an hour and a half to get to some turf field.” The Red Stars’ home field was at Benedictine University; in 2014, the team had an average attendance of 2,949.

“I don’t think we want to hang on to those memories,” Press said. “There is absolutely a connection between those of us who have been fighting for improved standards in the league and our fans because the fans have had so much influence in that fight and our success. It really has bonded us with our community in a way that it feels like we’re all doing this together.”

Press isn’t worried about that bond being lost. She believes it’s trending in the right direction, especially as players have a lot less to worry about off the field and can step directly into stardom. Players that turn into superstars have to be supported though, by brands, by teams, through marketing and the media.

“That’s storytelling and that’s investment, so as it continues to grow, there is a huge opportunity for the relationship with the fans to transform. And because we continue to find ourselves in a fight for legitimate valuations and for fair pay and for equality, we’ll be able to maintain such a strong tie to the fans that help us achieve these things.”

There are more immediate goals for Angel City to accomplish, even with the potential sale to the Bay-Iger group in the works. On the pitch deck, acquired by Semafor, the first of the new ownership group’s guiding principles is “Improve team performance, player support and retention,” which also includes the tangible goal of building a new facility that could serve as the team’s HQ and training site.

While Angel City is currently in 11th place in the NWSL, they’re only three points off the playoff line cutoff. They’ll face Gotham FC in their final match before the league takes an extended break for the Olympics.

Press said the team can rely on the existing trust between the players and ownership group to allow the sale process to play out as it should and not have it overshadow the urgent need for three points on the field — at home — this weekend.

“The entire focus of the group is on the game,” she promised.

[smooshi-graysimp]

HC (+ ship) of the week

Guys… WILLOW CAN BE NICE????? I thought she’s only nice within her trio and also tries to denies it, oh well

Other than that Barley, Poco, Gray, Willow are all in a group now because I said so and there’s two images of them together (this and the other is an anniversary)

Also this confirms that Gray drinks, could he be an alcoholic? Healthy alcoholic? Is it just milk? Doesn’t matter all I know is that when Grays sad he drinks and it’s canon.

Poco and Gray are the ones playing the music

Willow usually dances, and sings horribly* which makes the others ears suffer

She’s only doing that for fun, she actually sings really good

She can also play some music but doesn’t really do it

Angelo has better music experiences so they sometimes plays

The others tried to invite Barley in but Barley usually in his space serving orders buttttt you can see him slightly dancing with the others

But when he’s out of work (which rarely happens) he dances with them

Poco is one of the few people that knows Grays real face (HC that he doesn’t show his real face to people)

Ohhhh boyyyy if Willow knows then Angelo knows then everyone knows

Angelo is surprised to see that this is Willows other friends, but they’re sometimes there too for the vibes

Ron (my oc) would’ve been fine if this is Grays group if it weren’t for Willow, he hates her sm, he keeps complaining about why Gray hangs out with her, at least not right in front of Grays face, it’s often with people he’s close to and by himself.

When Ron tries to come into the group, he either A. Saw Willow and leaves, B. Saw Willow Tries to tolerate for just a couple of hours or something C. Doesn’t saw Willow and went crazy

Also this is when Angelo discovers that when Willow tries to save them she means it. They told Willow that they would thought that eventually she’ll uses them for something and Willows like “BRO???? Gurl- when I took a Quick Look at you I thought your cool, why wouldn’t I save you and have you become my friend!???” You fr thought of this??!!?! 🥺”

Ships: Gray x El Primo Willow x Mortis

Gray would often try to hint that he likes El Primo to Poco in hopes that maybe that he’ll help him

If he doesn’t then oh well, he got his job anyway

It either A. took Poco a long time to figure out because Gray is too hidden with it or B. Gray straight up says it and Pocos like “WHAT?! SINCE WHEN?!”

So Poco tries to invite El Primo in so that Gray can get closer to him

Willow knows that Gray is one of Mortis friends and keeps asking to get his phone number

Willow: Hiiiiiii

Mortis: wha who are you? How’d you get my phone number?

Willow: that doesn’t matter-

Mortis: how’d you get my phone number????

Willow: well if your so curious then let’s just say a black and white person give it to me…

Mortis: Who?

Willow: it’s one of your friends

Mortis: who?

Willow: he’s a CELEBRITY

Mortis: Who?

Willow: ARE YOU STUPID??? ITS YOUR FRIEND GRAY!

Mortis confronts to Gray about this

Mortis: WHY DID YOU GIVE HER MY PHONE NUMBER!?!?!!!

Gray: She promised to annoy Lola for weeks and she got my secret. Also because I don’t really care about your situation.

Mortis: >:^v

[punkeropercyjackson]

I'm ride or die for Huntlow shippers not because i'm also one but because they're the only niggas in the Toh fandom who always have and had common sense and basic decency.Y'all like acting like the Hunter overexposure was just a him thing but if you interact with Hunter stans on a regular basis it's easy to realize he had barely anything to do with it and that it was the weirdass subset that's supremely desperate to make Edshit(Ed*ric)relevant when he simply is not,least of all to Hunter.Most Hunter stans either like him and Willow equally or have Willow as their number one fave and the small part that dosen't makes solo content of her anyway and their Hunter content is usually adding on to his rep with stuff like the chronic pain and trans hcs and you can't convince me without solid evidence that Huntlow didn't popularize blasian Willow because we all know Hunter loves black women from infinity to infinityyyyyyyyy just like Amity

Also i've yet to meet a Gustholomule,i.e the ACTUAL teen mlm rep of the show,shipper who don't adore him and his found brothers/Team Dad and Baby of the friend group dynamic with Gus and Gus' with Willow only she's the Team Mom and combined with how they're not the ones ragging on poor Dana for getting her beloved show she worked her ass off nonstop to get made only for it to get cancelled because 'her rep wasn't good enough' as if her trying to jam as much in possible wasn't THE REASON FOR SAID CANCELLATION,i will not hear a even a WHISPER against 'Huntlosers'.Lack of self-awareness ass nickname for a series about super lame people according to society being the real cool and badass ones

Are the toxic Huntlow shippers that bully other Toh fans in the room with us right now?Yeah,didn't think so.Be nice to Huntlow shippers or i'm gonna fucking killa you attack with a fucking rock,we've earned it and you were never told you were getting anything BUT Huntlow.Sucks 2 Suck,long live transmasc4transfem love!!!

[mercurygray]

HBOWW2 Rewatch: 1943

As we head into Week Two of the #hboww2rewatch, some context for where we left off:

It's February of 1943. We've spent a whole year fighting in the Pacific and to be honest, that year hasn't gone all that great - until we win on Guadalcanal. It is a six month long slugfest in the mud, but Guadalcanal is the battle that tells America that island hopping can be done - that there is some hope, however small, that maybe, just maybe, this will work. It's been a little over a year since Pearl Harbor. We're still trying to rebuild the Pacific Fleet. Kaiser Shipyards are trying cut down production times on destroyers. Willow Run has just finished being built, the largest single aircraft production facility in the world, ready to build B-24s at an astonishing pace.

It's February of 1943. John Basilone is headed home to sell war bonds, so that we can finance Kaiser, and Ford, and every single other crazy idea Big Bill Knudsen is trying to sell the manufacturers of America.

It's May of 1943. The North Africa campaign has been a success - Rommel has finally been booted back to Italy and the Allied forces have a toehold to attack the soft underbelly of Europe. Engineers are working hard to transform the desert airstrips of Tunisia and Algeria into working airbases that can attack the south of France, and Romania, and Italy.

It's May of 1943. The 100th Bomb group is forming up from Kearney, Nebraska, and a number of other bases west, going overseas for the first time, and they have no idea what they're getting themselves into. The RAF has been fighting the air war since 1939, and frankly they're tired.

It's May of 1943. Let's go.

[talonabraxas]

The Sacred Trees of The Druids and The Pagan Tribes of Old Europe Few peoples held trees in such high regard as the Celts and their Druids. I may also add that I consider the beliefs of the Thracians (my ancestors) to have been very close to those of the continental Celts during the period of great learning and the high – rise of the Druids. This was not a blind and primitive worship, but a genuine veneration based on an understanding of the importance of trees to material and spiritual human existence. The evidence of the close relationship between Celtic peoples and trees is clear in the landscape, with woodlands that have been carefully managed for up to three thousand years and extensive network of hedgerows. Certain trees – alder, apple, ash, birch elm, hawthorn, hazel, pine, oak, rowan, thorn, willow and yew – are mentioned persistently in Celtic tradition.

Indeed, so important were trees to Celtic peoples, that there were laws to protect them and govern how they might be used. In Ireland they were divided into four classes: “Nobles of the Wood“, “Commoners of the Wood“, “Lower Division of the Wood“, and “Bushes of the Wood“. Misuse of timber and living wood was punished with fines according to the class of the tree involved. Many of the methods of woodland management that are still in use today (although much in decline) were used by ancestral Celts to ensure that their precious resource was renewed. Pollarding, coppicing, planting, drainage, hedging, and so on, along with foraging (by people and animals) were all used to good advantage. The qualities of different timbers were well known and there were even woodworkers who specialized in operating with a single timber. Yet this mundane use of woodland never obscured the emotional and spiritual relationship that ancestral Celts had with trees that surrounded them.

Although most people no longer consciously acknowledge this bond, it still exists and there are times when it makes itself known. The Great Storm that tore across southern England in October of 1987 uprooted 15 million trees in a few short hours. This was believed to be the wrath of the ancient Anglo-Saxons gods, for the English people neglected and abandoned the old faith, accepting a foreign religion that wasn’t even remotely compatible for the Europen peoples. That same politicised faith soaked with the blood of millions of innocent people for the benefit of a small group of “god’s chosen people” calling themselves “the elite“. The wind wrought great damage on houses and other human constructs , and there was even a loss of human life, but it was the destruction of large numbers of trees that left many people in a state of shock. Even now the landscape is so altered that it can be disorientating.

Mythologically, the Celts believed we were descended from trees, springing like fruit from the branches. Even J.R.R. Tolkien wrote and portrayed this idea with the Ents in The Lord of The Rings and his other books. Serving as an allegory or as a metaphor, it was evident what he was trying to convey to the reader. In particular, the Celts believed we were descended from the great Oak. How widespread or absolute a creation myth this was, is uncertain, but a sacred tree regarded as a ‘tree of life‘, was to be found at the heartland of many Celtic tribes. There is no doubt that the Celts had an equivalent of the highly important Scandinavian and Germanic conception of ‘The World Tree’ – Yggdrasill. The importance of the tree to the Celts, is well attested in classical and Celtic sources, and it is likely that a tree did stand at the centre of sacred cosmology in the same way that it stood at the centre of tribal life.

[coraniaid]

Still very striking to me both that (1) Angel gives Buffy the "you're not like other girls" speech twice [in Season 2's Halloween and then again in Season 3's Earshot] and (2) the specific "other girls" he's quick to put down on her behalf are completely different groups both times.

In Halloween Angel tells Buffy he "hated" all the girls he knew when he was her age, that they were all "dull, simpering morons" and that he "always wished he could meet someone exciting". Just one year later, in Earshot, when Buffy tells him tells she'd understand if he was attracted to Faith because Faith has "that whole bad girl working for her" [i.e. she is exactly the sort of "exciting" girl Angel told her he used to dream of meeting!], Angel tells Buffy that he actually doesn't "want a bad girl" and that he's been with "dozens of girls like her ... more". And both times this is meant to be charming.

Just to be clear, I'm not interested in attacking the character of Angel. I don't think he's a bad person. Honestly I don't think Angel as written at this point feels anything like a person in his own right. Angel feels slightly more fully realized at this stage of the show than, say, Oz (Willow's Nice Werewolf Boyfriend Who's In A Cool Band), but really not that much more. Angel very obviously exists to be Buffy's brooding and occasionally evil boyfriend and for no other real reason. He may as well not exist when she isn't looking at him.

And I won't even bother pointing out that the speech in Earshot only makes sense if Angel-the-good-vampire-with-a-soul fully identifies himself with Angelus-the-bad-vampire (because when else was Angel hanging out with "bad girls"? while he was living in an alley eating rats?), which ... doesn't really sit well with the rest of the show's established lore. Or note that Angel tells Buffy in 1999's Earshot that he's lived for "243 years", which (even ignoring the fact he's meant to have spent decades or even centuries in a hell dimension, which this certainly does but then so does every other episode after Beauty and the Beasts) suggests he was born within a year of 1756, three years after Darla sired him (as established in Becoming). The Buffy writers don't really understand how dates or numbers work; that's been pretty clear since I Only Have Eyes For You. Fine.

But ignoring all that -- how are we meant to make sense of these two different scenes together? Even if you somehow think this sort of speech ("I hate most women but, good news, you're different") is romantic -- which the Buffy writers very obviously do! -- isn't it bizarre that they couldn't even remember which type of women Angel canonically hated? "I used to hate the women I knew, they were all so dull, and I wished I could meet somebody exciting and rebellious. Then, later, I did meet dozens of exciting women, and it turns out I hated them too. But don't worry: you are Not Like either of those categories of women ... hmm, actually, I think we should break up."

And then, not even three episodes later, they do!

[sepublic]

TOH Gallery Nucleus Info!

            All right! The Gallery Nucleus livestream just ended, so here’s some info and trivia I found relevant!

         When asked what they would’ve liked to see in S3 that they couldn’t fit in, JBO said “more dates”, while Cissy replied merely “Detention”. Sarah wanted to see the kids go to school, and Shawn Responts suggested one of the demon kids visisting the doctor, and us learning about demon physiology that way.

         JBO continued his answer, saying he’d like to see the kids explore more via a road trip, with so many options; Maybe Maine where they’d be trapped in a lighthouse, or a haunted, mossy Charleston. The group joked about Hunter driving, or Vee disguised as an adult.

         Sam Bosma would’ve liked to see them visit a comic con and see some Cosmic Frontier stuff, especially for Camila!

         Cat Harman Mitchell suggested a grocery store; In exploring concepts for the Thanks to Them end credit illustrations, one idea was thrown out of Amity and Hunter looking suspiciously at a banana; Which, I guess that means the Demon Realm having bananas was retconned, Amity is also really sheltered, and/or Demon Bananas are much deadlier than human ones, hence Amity’s distrust. Gus and Willow would’ve been stoked by a bottle of mustard, which I find connects nicely to Gus’ ‘mustard ravioli’ recipe that he thought Camila loved!

         Eden Riegel said she’d like to see King visit the human world and become a youtuber!

         Amity’s witch outfit from the S3 montage was designed after Vivian from Paper Mario… Vivian is a trans girl, could this mean…?

         The Duolingo homage initially looked too much like Garfield, so they had to change it.

         In designing the Boiling Isles, they looked to Flemish and Dutch architecture, avoiding Gothic because it was too obvious and also complicated; Hieronymous Bosch paintings served as inspiration. The one thing that was too gross even for Dana was Latissa, AKA the Titan’s armpit, which initially had a lot more hair follicles.

         It was confirmed that in designing the Boiling Isles, they had this idea of the Titan trying to regenerate, hence all of the fleshy masses, body parts, too many bones, etc.! Which can I say, as someone who guessed and analyzed all the way back in Season 1A… I CALLED IT!!!

         JBO also mentioned that in early drafts, the show’s sixth episode (of S1) would’ve had Camila in the Demon Realm!

         Likewise, he revealed that Belos wasn’t always Emperor; Originally, there was going to be an insect ruling family, with the current ruler being Emperor Pupa. However, they were stuck in their cocoon and had yet to emerge because of Belos, who claimed to be the only one who understood why the cocoon screamed; They changed the idea as it was too complicated and weird. VERY reminiscent of the Titan’s will, the implication he’s still alive and trying to regenerate, showing glyphs, not to mention the giant heart in the throne room…

         Vee is around Luz’s age, at about 15-ish! All the kids would be entering Sophomore year, while Hunter is a Junior!

         According to Rebecca, Dana said the timeskip was a few months, and the exact number didn’t matter, because in the end the characters would still act the same. Tbh, I respect that; Writing the main story and keeping in mind what matters, really does take precedence over the little details in the back imo.

         Luz’s palisman egg is in her fanny pack!!! She took it with her into the Demon Realm!

         In regards to the QnA, the first question asked that for writing a show like TOH, where everything comes full-circle, what was solidified?

         JBO said that the main and only thing (and this can change!) is knowing exactly who the characters are. One of Dana’s great strengths is the cast, and having believable characters that you could know what they’d do in a situation. One thing that’s hard about TOH but helps make it what it is, is that the writers had to throw out a lot of stuff to get to what they felt was real and right. You go in with characters and think you know what they want and need, but that can change; It’s really about knowing what feels real. JBO also said that Dana had certain visuals/images she wanted for the ending of the show from the start!

         When asked what surprised them for making it in, even if it was too gross; Andy Garner-Flexner brought up the magic shop the kids visited and all of the references, like the Ness shirt. They also put some Pokemon Team Aqua and Magma costumes in some boxes too! Fun fact, Andy’s husband asked him to hide a bunny for him in the background of S2 near the ending.

         Surprisingly, some stuff would be gross or messed-up, and they’d make it even worse, only for the execs to love it; Like Flapjack’s death scene! Oof…

         The crew had to avoid religious connotations for background books, so a D&D manual called “Advanced Sinning” was cut. Showing guts was fine, but no Donald Duck; Shawn wanted to put in a Donald Duck easter egg, for the implication he visited the Demon Realm or was even from it. Copyright was the hardest thing to get past execs in general… They tried to get Disney’s version of Hades on Luz’s wallpaper, but had to settle for the videogame instead. Cat can’t believe they got away with Hollow Mind and Lilith’s ice cream scene.

         In regards to favorite fan theory? Sarah Nicole-Robles explained she didn’t know the plot in advance, so when she got the scripts for S2, she wondered if Hunter would be a homewrecker for Lumity, but was relieved and confirmed that no, he’s a SIBLING. Rebecca loved the Collector Luz theory, and JBO joked about the “Lego Eda” theory being right, their plans for a spin-off of her… Not to take it too seriously but this does remind me of my theory about the Collector turning everyone into toys…

         In regards to a premise for a TOH spinoff, Sarah said she’d love an MTV cribs one-off of the Owl House, a tour of the rooms. Cat wanted a Lilith show about her historian adventures; Maybe a How I met your Mother style flashback show for the adults as teens, and how they got to the point they are now.

         Andy wanted a Raeda prequel; JBO wanted to explore the deep past of the Demon Realm and the world beyond the isles. The characters would be unconnected to TOH’s on the surface; Different characters in a different part of the world. Rebecca joked about a Hooty spin-off.

         In regards to the hardest character to work on; For JBO it was Belos… He was hard to write because he’s from so many different places and lived lots of lives in the Demon Realm, they had to ask does he have a set slang, a way he talks? Does he talk like a colonist? Likewise, Belos’ plans and motives are a secret for a good portion of the show, so it was tricky figuring out how much to reveal and when throughout the show.

         Andy said that because he asked Dana, they changed the way they did glasses in side-profiles! This change can also be seen in Them’s the Breaks, Kid; Was he responsible for that too?

         For Cat, one challenge was how short King was; They had to go for the shortcut of him riding on shoulders. This is because they’d want to do shots of characters, but not show their feet, but King was so short he’d be cut-off; So they went for the “Pikachu solution” to keep him in-frame.

         When asked what their palismen would be, Sam Bosma said a penguin; Rebecca wanted a deer/elk, anything with antlers to stab with and use as a melee weapon in conjunction with magic. Andy went for a mole (which is also his fursona), JBO asked if anyone had a moth palisman? Shawn said he’d be a giant ground sloth, about the size of the Bat Queen, that he’d have to drag around.

         Cissy went for a honey badger, since it could get stuff done; Be mean for her when she’s too nice. Sarah brought up a puppy, dragon, octopus (this last one reminds me of Thanks to Them!), Cat would be a puffball cat; The opposite of Ghost’s sleekness, just fuzz and eyes.

         When asked what Hunter’s first day at Hexside would be like, JBO said that he’d simply “turf out”. Rebecca said he’d get eaten by a locker, as did Sarah; Rebecca explained Hunter would make the mistake of putting food into his locker, so the next time he opened it…

         Cissy of course said detention. Cat said Hunter would get lost; Rebecca said Flapjack would have to help, and everyone cringed because y’know, JBO said that was too soon.

         Someone asked how they approached fleshing out Camila through a dream sequence? JBO explained that from the start, they KNEW she was a good mom and wanted what was best for Luz, and not in a super wrong-headed way either. But at the start of the show, all we had was that she sent Luz to camp, so it was hard to reconcile this take with that action. It took a lot of thought, how did this happen? Everyone had their own experiences with their moms worked in.

         In the end, the writers realized they’re all at that part of life where you realize your parent is their own person and doesn’t feel any older than anyone else. So when they looked at Camila as her own person and not just Luz’s mom, that helped them make their breakthrough on her character.

         Andy brought up as another bit of Camila characterization was the background, and all of the queer community books she was reading; Not only does she support in one way, but she’s learning. And in regards to what Camila went through after Manny passed…

         In the background, you can see signs of things being unfinished in the house; A lot of things incomplete, boxes not yet unpacked. It’s like a stand-still in time; Camila couldn’t keep going with some of these things. There were still boxes at the end of the hall with the family photos, it was half-painted. Given the short runtime, they really used the background and environmental storytelling to flesh out Camila this way.

         When asked what coven they would be, Andy mentioned he thought of this answer in anticipation of that type of question, on his way to the event. He considered Oracle or Construction but decided on being a wild witch. Rebecca went for Abominations or Beastkeeping; JBO also wanted Abominations, so he could get to the bottom of what this thing is that he’s making, and talk to it; Is it bad to have it blown up every other second? Someone jokingly suggested what if Abominations were just Titan boogers.

         Cat chose Illusions, Shawn opted for Potions and Oracle. Sam Bosma went for a smaller coven from Covention, like the Tiny Cat Coven. Sarah decided Bad Girl Coven was a cop-out answer, so considered Plant or Beastkeeping, ended up really feeling the former today. Lilith would be Emperor’s Coven; Just kidding, it’d be beast-keeping to keep all eight-legged friends far away. Eden chose Bard Coven.

         When asked about the human outfits they liked, Bosma mentioned he loved the Cosmic Frontier ones; They always had the red and yellow in mind as a DS9 reference, but he still experimented with other colors.

         At one point, Dana couldn’t decide between two Gus shirts; So she flipped a USB drive instead of a coin, and with that opted for his Dinosaur shirt! Cat said Hunter’s wolf shirt was a vibe; Andy mentioned they ‘tortured’ Matthieu Cousin by asking for more and more costume variations, until he said he needed a break for his wrist. Andy said Amity’s fits were good, Sarah concurred that Amity looked so hot and was killing it.

         When asked if Flapjack ever tried flapjacks, Sarah said objectively yes. Rebecca figured he probably did; Andy suggested it was because of Camila, and Flapjack was told he was eating flapjacks too, but didn’t know if they were good.

         (This led to a question among the group of whether palismen had taste buds, which they figured only Dana could answer. We know palismen hate the taste of goreberries, so the answer is yes!)

         When asked what the characters’ zodiac signs would be… Dana prepped Rebecca with an answer ahead of time for this; She told Rebecca to tell them that Earth’s astrological calendar didn’t exist in the Demon Realm, they didn’t even have the same number of months. It’s a much more confusing system and they can’t answer that question; There’s thirteen months and 666 days, and the animals associated with each month are worms or other tube-shaped creatures.

         (Andy did say he HC’ed Willow as a Virgo since he was one too and related to her. This isn’t canon however.)

         When asked what anime the kids would like, Andy brought up My Hero Academia, Naruto, Yuyu Hakusho (which inspired his fashion choices). JBO said Gus would really get into a show about some dude addicted to gambling but also GREAT at it, always finding a way to pull it off; Like a mahjong anime.

         In regards to their favorite creature/demon, it was the skin-eating fairy from the first episode for Cissy, whom Eden voiced! Cat said Hooty was a disgusting work, Rebecca liked the little version of the Owl Beast and had a plush on hand of it! For Andy, it was Titans. Bosma liked the detention guards, and…

         Shawn said he liked the Bat Queen; And in their discussion, JBO revealed she wasn’t the Titan’s palisman (pointing out he was too big for her), she just belonged to a giant who lost her. Shawn liked her story of becoming a ruler after that incident.

        And that’s it! Very illuminating stuff about production. Very sad to hear the Bat Queen’s backstory here, since it likely means we won’t have it addressed in S3, nor will the writers retcon her as the Titan’s to fit it into the remaining storyline. Thrilled about what we heard of the Titan’s regeneration and Belos’ original story concepts, especially since I WAS correct in likening him to a beetle in Season 1B, after all! Between this and Titan King, my earliest S1 theories have been getting vindicated, babey!

[fakesmilesallaround]

Willow never thought she'd belong to a group until those two men saved her ass in the alley. After being separated from her brother in the big city, it was up to her to get her daughter to safety- until a sheriff and a pizza delivery guy came along and saved them both. The dead owned the streets of Atlanta, pushing her new group further and further out. As they encounter deadly obstacles and power-hungry survivors, the numbers in her group begin to dwindle, and she finds herself holding on to these people more and more. The struggle to maintain the groups humanity is a constant battle, but as relationships form between these strangers turned family, they're willing to carry each other as they pave the way to a new world.

There's no denying that Willow has a strong bond with the younger Dixon brother. It came as a shock to everyone. They are two drastically different people, yet somehow they understand each other the most. From the moment they met at the quarry camp on the outskirts of Atlanta, their friendship was off to a rocky start. They both had shadows from their past that haunted them, but as their relationship progressed, those shadows were diminished as the flame between them grew. | [ Daryl Dixon x OC ] [ Some smutty content ] [ Slow burn ] [ Episode by episode ] [ Seasons 1 - 11 ]

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This story may contain mentions of rape/sexual assault, gore, graphic violence, and self harm. If any of these things may trigger you, please proceed with caution. I value your mental health more than anything. If it ever becomes too much, you are not obligated to continue, and I appreciate you giving my story a try.

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500k+ reads on Wattpad.

[sleepycoffins-and-benhargreeves]

You guys know what would be an awesome umbrella academy rp group?

An rp group where all 43 kids were adopted by Reginald and they were all trained to be child soldiers.

It'll be like an actual school, where the kids are divided into four units/fractions. My idea is the Spear, Willow, Dragon, and Herring units/fraction.

The original characters are not allowed in the RP for fairness to all players, only OC's allowed.

They're still going to be numbered, some kids have names others prefer numbers. They'll be numbered One to Ten (Eleven for three units/fractions).

And lastly, for the funsies and to make it NSFW, the youngest character should be 21. Characters can have differing ages thanks to their powers, time travel, and etc.

You can have a character who's like 35 and their sibling/teammate is only 22.

So you get the school feel to it, but still have the essence of the TUA show where everyone is an actual adult.

Man, this is an awesome idea and I would want to make this RP if I weren't so busy with life lol if anyone wants to use this idea tho, give me a heads up, I'd love to help out in the RP even if I won't play lol I'd have a field day making the edits and events for the group if ever~

[drachenfalter]

The Amity Blight Show

Inspired by a recent ask, let's actually compare the focus Amity gets in season 2 compared to Willow, Hunter and Gus.

And this is going to be a long one, so let's start with a bare-bones overview, no judgement, just numbers:

Gus appears in 10 episodes (S2E2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 13, 18, 20, 21)

Willow appears in 10 episodes (S2E2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 13, 18, 20, 21)

Hunter appears in 9 episodes (S2E1, 2, 6, 9, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21)

Amity appears in 11 episodes (S2E2, 5, 7, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 18, 20, 21)

So, looking only at this list, it at first seems to be balanced, but that idea falls apart once we take a closer look.

To find the actual important ones, let's get rid of episodes where those four only have like two lines or only appear for half a minute or so.

Gus is left with 7 episodes (S2E2, 5, 9, 13, 18, 20, 21)

Willow with 7 episodes (S2E2, 9, 11, 13, 18, 20, 21)

Amity with 10 episodes (S2E2, 5, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 18, 20, 21)

Hunter with 8 episodes (S2E1, 6, 9, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21)

Okay, getting more interesting. But that is still not the full story. For that, we have to consider how those characters are portrayed/what role they play in those episodes.

Escaping Expulsion does teach us a little bit about Willow's and Gus' relation to their parents, but they are mostly comic relief and are taken out as soon as the action starts so Amity can be the hero. Sure, fine, that's one episode.

But then in Eclipse Lake, Gus and Willow are fully reduced to comic relief, while Amity is the hero and protagonist of that episode.

Amity getting to kick ass and play hero stays a consistent theme throughout the rest of the season, with Follies, Reaching Out, Labyrinth Runners and Clouds on the Horizon all giving her that.

And while her B-plot in Any Sport in a Storm is ultimately insignificant, she's still taken serious here.

"But what about Hunter?!"

Yes, Hunter also gets a lot of attention. But unlike Amity, he was only introduced this season and needs some screen time to be fleshed out/speedrun his redemption arc. And he still got less focus than Amity and her family. We only know so much about his family because it's relevant to the main plot.

Meanwhile, the parents of Gus and Willow are barely more than a face, a name and a job.

The name of Gus' palisman was cut for time.

So, let's make a final list, with episodes that treat characters as protagonists/antagonists and not just support characters or extras.

Gus has S2E5 and S2E18, (though he is important in 20 & 21)

Willow has S2E13 and S2E18, (+ a few important scenes throughout the season)

Hunter has S2E1, S2E6, S2E9, S2E13, S2E16, S2E18 (+ an important scene in 21) -> that seems like a lot, I know, but considering he didn't have any episodes in season one, it kinda balances out.

Amity on the other hand...

Amity has S2E2, S2E5, S2E8, S2E9, S2E11, S2E13, S2E14, S2E18, S2E20.

That's nine out of ten.

(and I only excluded King's tide because the Hexsquad is there as a group, with Luz and King being the protagonists more than anyone else.)