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fornshinoyaz · 1 year ago

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HOW TO: LOSE FEELINGS FOR AN IDIOT

03. HOW TO: BREATHE WHEN HE'S AROUND

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wc: 4.5k

how to lose feelings for a CERTIFIED, government approved idiot. it should be easy right? wrong. you are absolutely, positively, done for. you have no idea why you’re writing the guide book when you can’t even get past the first step! first step, the only important step really: don’t have your best friend be kei tsukishima. then maybe, just maybe, you’d have a chance.

Something changed between you and Kei Tsukishima. You knew life wasn't static. Change was apart of life. The same way grief, pain, and happiness were too. You were constantly growing and becoming a better version of yourself. Growth was normal for you, but not really for him.

He was a rock. Forever steady, there when you needed him. You were lucky enough to see his past beliefs shake and twist, but Tsukishima himself never changed. Even during your first fight. It was so stupid. You both were stubborn middle school students (the same today, but don't tell). That fight should've broken your friendship.

But it didn't.

Your bond was unbreakable.

Things changed when you left high school. He joined university level volleyball. He had less time for things, you included. Things became absolutely fucked when he got a girlfriend who he (spoilers) also didn't have time for.

Change was normal, but not like this.

You didn't hate it. It wasn’t something you needed to fix; it wasn’t a problem. But you weren’t sure what to do about it. Ignore it? Let it happen? But you couldn't help but sit in your bed and wonder why you weren't rushing to do go after the man who had stolen your heart years ago. Was this not what you longed for years ago?

It was. It is.

But maybe you didn't want to change either.

You don't know what possess you. A demon, a ghost, a space-demon-ghost. You have work tomorrow, and you plan on taking pictures for your photography page. By any metric, you should be asleep right now. It's past midnight. How often was he up past midnight? You tap your fingers together, an anxious habit.

Fuck it.

You call him.

This is silly. This is your best friend of how many years now? Why are you nervous, and sweaty, and oh my god - why is that you can't breathe? Do they make How-To Guides on breathing? Of course they don't. Why would they? You begged your brain to just shut the fuck up.

You fully expect the ring to go on and on, until inevitability you hear his voicemail; "Go away, I don't want to talk to you." and then click. He picks up after the second ring. You blink at your phone and re-check the screen. Maybe you were hallucinating -

"Hello?" His voice is scratchy and deep.

You shiver. "Tsukki?"

"Hm?"

Silence.

"Did you call me to just sit in silence?"

Silence.

"I'm hanging up-"

You jolt upwards in your bed. "Wait, dickhead. I just - didn't know you would pick up."

Now it's his turn to be silent. But you know Tsukki, embarrassment didn't exist to him. He's thinking. You imagine what he looks like. Laying in his bed, or maybe sitting at his desk reading a book. If he's laying down, his glasses are off, maybe his hair is a little messy. You've seen it once or twice, the fluff he wakes up to.

It made you dream of waking up next to him.

"Cool. I picked up. What do you want?"

You swallow. You have no excuse, no reason. You just want to hear him talk.

"Read me a bedtime story?"

"How fucking old are you? Seriously, Y/N. How old."

"You didn't say no."

He sighs on the other line, then shuffles. "I hate you."

He tells you a story. Then another, and then one after that. Your bright screen says two hours the next you look at it. He hates long phone calls.

Yet, he stays.

The bed time stories end, and you might be delirious. It's past two a.m., maybe almost three. What comes out your mouth is no longer your own words, but whatever demons are awake right now.

"Do you believe in the universe?" You ask, voice quiet. A small yawn follows you.

He scoffs, “No, I don’t believe in the fucking universe. Are you high?”

You sigh, and manage to turn in your bed to look up at your ceiling. The low sounds of the city laid outside your windows, but the tall buildings never made seeing the stars easy. So, instead, you put the stars where you could always see them. The stars are there, and in the corner of your eye - the moonlight.

“I think I do. I think that…some things are just, made for you, y’know?”

“No.”

You shake your head, “you don’t believe in anything.”

“No,” he denied swiftly, “I believe in what’s real. Like you and me.”

Your breath stops. You hope he can’t hear that.

“Yeah, me and you."

It sounds too good to be true.

Something else real? You love breaking your own heart.

You fake a yawn this time, "Wow, it's getting late. I think I gotta cut this short. My fish probably needs a walk or something. It’s suffocating in its tiny bowl, I swear.”

A chuckle crackles through the line, a sound you’d come to recognize well. “You’re such a loser."

“You're a bigger one. Bye Tsukki.” you say, and you move back over to your side. Your eyes trace over his contact photo.

“Bye, Y/N.”

The phone clicks. You call him the next day, and he answers.

"Is this gonna be a habit?"

You're in your living room (sort of? also your bedroom, studio apartment things), flickering through the pictures you had taken today. Only thing left was to edit them and post them to your site.

"You don't wanna hear about my day?" you ask.

"Not particularly."

"Bye then-"

He cuts you off.

"Okay, okay. Tell me."

You smile. You grab onto your phone and bring it closer.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Things were definitely changing. It was more than a phone call or two. At first, it was subtle. A gaze held longer than it needed to be, a touch that he should’ve pulled away from.

The next Saturday night found you in Tsukki’s living room, surrounded by your friends in a life-or-death situation. Monopoly. Everyone in the room knew you were the very best at board games. Especially one involving stealing money from idiots.

The room fills with annoyed laughter and groans. Whoever put you and Tsukki together were begging to lose. You smirk. Oh, the taste of victory. You could taste it. You two were unstoppable (why wouldn’t you be?). Kageyama, the sore loser, mutters something about leaving after you bankrupted him. Hinata tells him to shut up, and per usual they end up yelling at each other. It's up to you to call for order.

It didn't last long. You make the winning move. All their property was yours, and so was the game. The room explodes, game pieces and money go flying. Tsukki's coffee table is almost overturned. Monopoly was serious, even for someone like Tsukki. You both jump up. A hard-fought victory deserved a hug.

You go to wrap your arms around him, but he did it first. He hugs you so tight, that you swear you can't breathe (a fatal symptom when being around Kei Tsukishima), and spins. You laugh so hard it reaches your eyes. Then, he releases, and you think it's over.

But then, he holds onto your face, and kisses your forehead—gently, purposeful, like a tall giant. A shock wave goes through you, but he doesn’t even whisper a lick of an apology.

He locks eyes with you. “You’re amazing.”

Oh. Your breath quickens.

"Thanks, I know.” You do what you do best. Deflect. But your mind can't stop hearing him. His words echo through every corner of your brain.

He was driving you mad, and you weren’t the only one noticing it.

The clock struck twelve. You should be finishing your paper. Twelve out of sixteen was your current total. It would be the right thing to sit down, lock in, and focus.

But who decides what's right and wrong?

Not you.

Your paper could have been completed, had it not been for Hinata. But he would not stop calling until you answered. If your professor asks, it's all on him.

It started like this; your sitting at your desk, playing around with your ballpoint pen, when (admittedly) you should be looking over your notes. Turns out, Kageyama and Hinata too, had a paper they should be working on, but decided the night was young and they needed to be out!

You at first, say no, like the considerate future-orientated person you pretend you are. That is, until Tsukishima (who happens to be sitting right next to you on your bed) says two magic words. Let’s go.

Now, you walk through the streets of Tokyo with your favorite people. Your eyes are set on the nearest convenience store. It’s a local beauty, dingy with front lights barely work and weird men who try to sell you things they shouldn't. The greatest place on Earth.

The front sign flickers on and off for a moment, before buzzing in a way that could definitely start a whole store-fire. You and Tsukishima are in matching plaid pajama pants, and you even have a Karasuno volleyball hoodie on. You were not on the team. Hinata smirks when he notices, and whispers (badly) to Kageyama about it.

“She was cold.” is Tsukishima’s excuse. Yeah, right. You owned millions of hoodies—couldn’t you have worn your own?

“Mine are better. Hers are ugly.” he continues.

You scoff. He didn't have to go that far. The cold excuse is enough!

“My hoodies are not ugly. You quite literally have no fashion sense.”

“You’re in denial.” he says.

“You’re lecturing me about denial? Mr. ‘It’s just a club’?” it's a burn that makes Hinata double over in laughter.

“Enough arguing,” Kageyama pushes you forward, a step ahead of the two of them with Hinata who giggles. He quickly shifts you away from the side of the cars.

You grumble, and step over your own two feet before picking up your feet. Tsukishima mumbles something about you having two left feet, and it takes everything in you not to spin around and give him a piece of your mind. He smirks, loving the way your shoulders fall and rise in anger.

He loves the way he gets to you.

“So, Kaggy,” he makes a noise of disgust at the nickname you made up on the spot, “you still texting that one girl?” Hinata’s ears perk up, and Tsukishima looks at him, trying to feign indifference. But you knew him, he wnats to hear the tea just as much you guys did.

“Ha! Kageyama? With a woman!” Hinata barks out, a howl coming out of his lips next makes it even more obnoxious. Kageyama’s face scrunches up, and his laughter is just so infectious that Tsukki can’t help but chuckle. You let out a giggle or two.

“Hinata, last time I checked, your name was NOT Kageyama," you say through a giggle.

“What! I’m not wrong!” Hinata pouted, “I’m not entirely convinced this ‘woman’ exists. I’ve never seen Kageyama talk to a woman before. And I see a lot of Kags, more than I'd like."

Your eyebrow raises. Despite his last comment, he wasn’t that far off. Kageyama was a lost cause when it came to women. He always had been. But, things always change. You saw it in real life, and was sitll shocked. Someone came up to him. She offered him her number, and he freaked out over how to message her.

'Do I just say hey? Is hey weird? Do I say hi instead? Y/N STOP LAUGHING AND HELP ME!'

It was cute, until it had been four whole days and he hadn’t even BEGUN to type a letter. At that point, you stole his phone and did the magic for him. As they texted, it got lighter and easier. Occasionally, at friend hangouts you would see him open his phone and smile, or break away for a moment to send a response back. It was cute, you liked it for him.

“We’re just friends, alright? Nothing more.” Kageyama answers finally, breaking his silence. He kicks a stray rock on the ground, anything to distract from the blood flushing to his cheeks.

“So she does exist!” Hinata’s eyes sparkle like lights on Christmas Day.

“Obviously, idiot.”

You four approach the convenience store and step through the sliding doors. Bells jingled above your head. A tired cashier lifts his eyes momentarily, but seeing you all, becomes uninterested and goes back to looking at his phone. The hum of the fridges calls out to you, ice cream. You need to stop, at this point it was an addiction.

It is as if Tsukki can read your thoughts, and looks down at you with a shake of his head.

“Don’t do it.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you hiss back.

“Fine, don’t blame me when your shitting all night.”

“I’ll shit in your mouth.”

“Guys, we’re in public,” Kageyama has to remind, but neither of you care much, and the cashier just frowns as he scrolls through his social media.

You mingle around the shelves, going from packaged ramen, to udon, to spicy and sweet chip bags, to candy filled bags. Hinata and Kageyama whisper around about something, but your eyes search for your favorite candy.

Why the hell isn’t it here?

You frown, and circle the aisle once and then twice. You do it a third time, just to make sure you haven't lost your mind. You almost give up, but then you see one package left—but of course, it's at the very top of the shelf, all the way on the back of the shelf. Great. You can't ask for help. You just can't.

But at the same exact moment, Tsukki rounds the corner and sees you in your struggle. Tsukki is made of legs, but he will not get it—not without you begging him for it, and you will not.

You hold your nose up at him and then cross your arms. “Yup, nothing I want here.”

You were a terrible liar.

“Ask me. Nicely. Then I’ll do it.” he says, that stupid smirk.

“I’m fine. I’ll starve.”

"Beg."

"No."

He sighs, "Your annoying,” he leans forward, grabs the package, and slaps it into your hand. You lurch forward and grab it before it can fall to the ground.

“If you grew more in fifth grade, you would be able to get it.” Tsukki comments before walking away.

You follow after him with a grumble, “Shut up.”

The four of you reconvene at the center of store. The fluorescent lights flicker above your heads, a cool chill flushes from the vents and you dig deeper inside Tsukki’s hoodie.

Tsukishima has a couple of things in his hands—coffee with a strong bitter smell, his favorite chips (salty like him), banana milk, and a small pack of worm shaped sour gummies. Kageyama and Hinata’s piles looked mostly the same—except that Hinata decides sugar was a great idea at this time of night, and no one can really argue. They all had a paper to finish. Except for Tsukki that is. He finished his two weeks ago.

You hated him.

“Name one girl you’ve spoken to that’s not your mother,” Tsukki says to Kageyama.

You, at the same time, approach the counter. The cashier mumbles a quiet ‘finally’ and begins scanning your items. You bend down at the counter, engrossed by a magazine’s cover. A journalist, one of the best who was an alumni of Karasuno University. You pick it up, and add it to your heap of snacks.

“Your mom.” Kageyama says back to him with a shrug. You and Hinata don’t even try to hide your laughter. The cashier glances to you four in annoyance.

“My mom hates you.” Tsukki mumbles.

You reach into your hoodie pocket, and salvage the coins you had thrown inside. Your fingers flip over the different kinds, before reaching the correct amount. The ritual happens quickly—the cashier takes your change, it’s exact like you hoped, and you tell him to keep the receipt.

“Not as much as she hates you.” Kageyama nips back.

You open your package of candy and plop a couple in your mouth. The cashier seems to lose more and more of his faith in humanity as the insults go on and on. He just wants to go home. He lets out a sigh of relief when the doors hiss close and you four are back in the midnight cool.

“Seriously, Kageyama. What does she look like? Is she pretty?” Hinata asks, as soon as they're back outside. He never lets go, and it makes you laugh. Once Hinata was curious, there was no way of shutting him down. Eventually you would have to tell him the truth, and the whole one at that.

“He’s not gonna tell you.” Tsukki says. This time, he’s walking beside you, and steals a small candy from your bag.

“Why not?!” Hinata whines.

“You talk too much, I tell you and then suddenly the whole team will know.” Kageyama answers.

You hum, been there done that. “True. Like Tsukki’s ex.”

The words come out quicker than you can realize. Shit. That was a mistake. The four of you go dead quiet, and your eyes quickly flash to the boy next to you. You expect him to shut down, maybe do that sad Tsukki thing with his eyes.

But nope. He just reaches into your bag again, another candy. He’s completely unmoving. It has been almost a whole year, but you know breakups were a touchy subject. You and Tsukki talk about it rarely, but it was in the background of everything. You saw her influence in many things he did.

How he rejects the advances of girls at your school, how his face shifts when he sees Daichi and his girlfriend after practice. It’s a sting from a wasp that just never died. But maybe, just maybe, the pain had become tolerable? You are not often wrong.

“Hinata’s a loud mouth. Always will be.” A classic Tsukki response. You grin. Tolerable. That was better than nothing.

You interject, rejoining the conversation with a playful grin. “Come on, Kageyama, give them a little hint..”

Kageyama crosses his arms defensively. “Weren’t you suppose to be on my side, Y/N?”

Tsukishima shakes his head. “Y/N’s on the side that pays her.”

“Right,” you nod.

Kageyama eyes you both dangerously. You know something slick is going to come out of his mouth. He can't help himself. “Tsukki, you pay her?”

You rub the back of your neck. Ah. Tsukki rolls his eyes.

“Please shut up."

The walk back to your apartment is quiet, a calm against Kageyama and Hinata constant push-and-pull. They leave first, they live on the opposite side of you, closer to campus. You make sure to steal one of Hinata's pretzels before he goes.

It's always you and him. Walking together, past midnight.

Your heart is pulling you towards him; your shoulders brush once, and then twice, and he says nothing. On the third time, he bumps your shoulder back. You smile. You shut your mouth, because it’s late, and you’re tired, and this isn’t the time to be saying anything you'll regret.

The paper is done. 1/2 of your project. The other half? A presentation. You hate this shit. You push through. You didn't even stutter once. You can see how proud Tsukki is. But now, it's time for closing remarks.

Your eyes dart around the room. From the clock, to your laptop, to your best friend. Tsukki wore a slight smirk on his face. You knew what that meant. But he wouldn't, the presentation is almost over, you are almost in the clear.

As your group mate say their closing remarks, you hear the dreaded phrase. You stiffen when his hand slowly rises. He sucks. You almost want to bark to your groupmate, don’t, but you imagine your teachers angry deducting points from your final grade.

“Yes, Tsukishima?” You have to force out. Suck it up. You can hear a couple of stifles of laughter in the classroom. They knew he was about to waste your time. Your fingers impatiently tap on your skin, something he notices with only a quick glance.

“Uh, yes. I think I’m still a little confused. Can you give a more in-depth example of how you would use aerodynamics in this situation, Ms. Y/N? Sorry, it’s just what you were talking way too fast, I didn't catch it all.”

He was such an ass.

You bare your teeth, and force a nod. “Of course. So, aerodynamics…”

The presentation goes on for a record seven minutes after. You want to ignore him so bad, and at first you do this successfully. You could breathe now, easily.

As class dismisses, you walk straight past his desk, and he follows you down the steps of the building, and onto the main campus. He's like a bed bug that never leaves, even if you set the whole damn building on fire.

But this is Tsukki, he's done way worse, but he knows you were hungry and needed to be in the dining hall as soon as the clock struck 10. Yet, he still chose to be the normal dickhead he is.

“You know you can’t stay mad at me forever,” he says as you round the corner to your dining hall. You turn around to meet his eye and frown, to make it known that you CAN, but then...his stupid smile. You almost crack. A strong almost.

“You wanna bet on that?” you settle for, and quickly turn around before you can change your mind.

Tsukishima sighs. He jumps into your peripheral vision and drops his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. His smell, woody and fresh, meshes well with the scent of old rain and coffee from the university students around you.

You look up at him. His jaw, his slight smile. This is too comfortable, being like this with him. You would’ve thought just from looking at you two, that you were a couple. The thought makes you want to die. In another universe maybe, or two.

For now, you didn't think about what universe you guys could've gotten together in. Instead, you enjoy the moment.

Your campus is as quiet as it gets. The large buildings, and their large glass panes should suck you both in, but you're in your own world. Several people whisper as you pass, ‘isn’t that Kei?’ they ask. It’s like they are tearing apart every part of you; the way you dress, the way you walk, the way you look. You forget sometimes that he’s ‘popular’ on campus. All of the volleyball guys were. All the eyes on you make you lean closer to him, and Tsukishima’s grip tightens.

He didn't pay any of the eyes on him any mind, he just focuses on you.

“Y/N,” he says in that annoyingly childish way that’s reserved for you. He knew how to tick you off—and if it were legal, you would’ve killed him right there, “Look, I’m sorry, but how could I resist?” he smiles and that ticks you off more, even if he's beautiful.

“I hate you, more than I hate aerodynamics.”

“Stop saying you hate me. You don’t.”

You really do hate him and you would never stop saying it; it's because of how nonchalant he is as you walk through your dining hall. How he ignores every women’s eye; every question that’s flung in his direction. You feel this way because through every bicker, every walk home, every moment he fills your life with so much happiness you know it would never amount to anything. Nothing you could see. Nothing that was real.

You and him? That wasn't real. Not in the way it was for Tsukishima. To him, you are the little girl he met at the sandbox. He would never be yours.

At the end of the night, all you can do is dream. You dream of a world where Tsukki knows, and he loves you as something more than his stupid childhood best friend.

You think about being more than his secret-holder and his unmoving rock. You want to finally know what it means to kiss the soft lips of Tsukki, to have his fingers dance around your waist and squeeze you so tight you couldn’t breathe, to wake up next to him and hug more than your own shoulders.

Fuck Kei Tsukishima.

Your lungs ache.

Monday morning is spent without him, and so is Tuesday. Then the day after that, and the day after that one. It isn’t something new, this routine. This is how you two were. But not recently. Being around him..was nice. But did you really think it was going to last forever?

The calls go from everyday, to him hearing the sound of your voicemail.

You take a sip of your latte, and try to focus on Yamaguchi’s words that are becoming harder and harder to listen to. For whatever reason, the universe, or whatever was out there likes torturing you. You can't get the guy once, and now you can't get him twice. It was like someone took the fork inside of Yamaguchi’s muffin and stabbed you right in the heart. He’s so blonde, and so stupid, and is sitting on a bench next to a water fountain with someone who looks nothing like you.

That was his type. It burns, much more than the hot coffee flowing down your throat. You down a scary amount of coffee that makes Yamaguchi stop in his tracks.

“You two make me sick. You have to tell him.” he says, and you finally look away from the scene.

“No, I don’t, actually. Can we focus on studying, please?”

You’re a hypocrite. He scoffs. You know it. Like you weren’t just staring down both of them for a solid ten minutes.

“He’s not dating her. You know? Says he doesn’t believe in love anymore.”

It hurts. You pretend it didn't.

“So, why would you tell me to tell him?”

Yamaguchi looks at you. He’s serious. Possibly the most serious you’ve ever seen him.

“You’re different. You can pretend you aren’t, but I know it and you know it. Ever since the sandbox.”

The butterflies in your chest flutter painfully.

“Focus, yeah?”

Yamaguchi sighs. “Yeah. One day, you’ll get sick of this shitty game.”

Then, that one day happens. It’s friday night. A long time ago, you guys made a tradition to spend friday nights together.

But not today, you made up some sort of excuse. Project tomorrow!

He didn’t question you the first three times, but the fourth he didn’t allow. You’re freshly out of a shower. You wipe the steam off the mirror in your bathroom, and double check your phone. A text? No, scratch that. Multiple text messages. At least twenty. Most of them are threats. Your eyes staple on the most important ones.

tsuk tsuk (lol): stop fucking ignoring me

tsuk tsuk (lol): i asked yamaguchi he said u had no project due

tsuk tsuk (lol): be straight up w/me if i did something to offend ur sensitive ass

tsuk tsuk (lol): y/n?

tsuk tsuk (lol): ur always on ur phone so ik ur reading this

tsuk tsuk (lol): did u get u a bf? is that y ur ignoring me?

tsuk tsuk (lol): nvm i don’t care. he can die too.

tsuk tsuk (lol): i’m coming over. unlock the door idiot

What the actual fuck. You’re in shock, and in his hoodie, when he appears at your front door. He’s not amused.

a/n: a bit of a cliffhanger hehehehehehhe i'm sorry i couldn't help myself :))) i enjoyed writing this even if it took the longest omg. lmk your thoughts on the chapter !!!! also yes the pic change was purposeful, colorful ver now hehe

taglist !!! @kei-tsuki21 @marga-j @xxizuchanxx @horr0rvacu1 @lavenderhotcoco @sami-stable @awkwardaardvarkforever @rorygilmoreclown @rachlubsuu @sixxze @lonelyladyghost @kurenix @nemisimp @doofusthebozo @scarred-keys @yenqa @zenilili @dani-shitting-around @carolineesnell @annonymoose

154 notes · View notes

lilbeanz · 8 months ago

Note

Hello! Not an ask, just wanted to say I adore your content; you're so skilled. I came across your art first, and the drama of even the smallest panel; I'd been eyeing JoDT & sequels for awhile because it was a WIP, but I caved and binged bks1-4 in about three days. I reread the "Eat your heart out Pureblood society" scene at least once a day, thank you for that, superb execution. I also really liked, in the first book, the interactions between Malfoy & Harry, and the very gradual "well, he's our friend now." The development of their friendship has done a great job of re-defining the characters and their relationships. The series feels like its own thing, and the fact that Ginny never even had the diary in book 2 only cemented that. I've really appreciated the deviation from Draco-the-tortured-hero/Draco-making-amends (which I also love to read). Horrors of the Heir was a great twist and really put the whole series in another tier, tbh. CoS was like, my least favorite of the series as a kid (alongside GoF, which has grown on me as I read fanfic) and your version of bk 2 easily established the micro-obsession of your series for me. Also, Crabbe & Goyle?? "They're actually really good friends"?? "Just to see if we feel anything"?? Adorable. Obsessed.

tldr; Your rewrite of the series is incredibly unique, and I admire how you've really taken the series and made it something completely fun and new and modern 💜💜💜

Looking forward to the rest. Thank you for sharing!

AaaAaaAaaHhhHhhHh?!??!?!

This is such a lovely comment, I can't even -- I -- I'm --

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying the series so far! It really has been such a challenging, fun project!

I adored writing the "Eat Your Heart Out" scene. People tend to forget that Draco Malfoy is canonically *very* dramatic when he wants to be. Yes, he can be sulky and scheming, but he also shouts taunts across the courtyard, and puts on scenes to make older students laugh at Harry’s expense, even going so far as to dress up as a Dementor to make his "rival" lose in Quidditch.

The Horror of the Heir was such an experience for me as the author, because CoS is my favourite book from the series (weird, ik) and looking back, I sort of realise I could’ve squeezed in so much more. But last May, 45k was a HUGE amount of words for me! And now I'm churning out 100k like nobody's business 💀

✨️Growth✨️

And speaking of growth, the reason I had Draco take Tom Riddle’s diary was purely because of growth. It would've taken him far longer to change as a person if he hadn't taken Ginny's place. A pivotal character development moment, as he reflects on his upbringing etc...

Crabbe and Goyle generally get overlooked in the fandom, and it really bugs me. Vince dies canonically, yes, but I absolutely love it when fic writers incorporate Greg as an actual character in post-war fics, and acknowledge that Vince was Draco’s friend.

It's always Blaise, Pansy, and Theo because they're intelligent and societies definition of "attractive." I mean, each to their own of course, but I could write an entire essay on the injustice I feel for Crabbe and Goyle!

And then, of course, the development of Draco’s relationship with the Golden Trio, specifically Harry. Just -- Ugh-- these silly kids make me so unhinged!😂

It wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows to begin with. Of course it wouldn't. It's a rocky start, with bumps along the way (and more big bumps to come), but I really do love the way I have progressed their relationship, and I'm not even gonna be humble about it! I really do love my own fic!!!

All this to say, thank you so much!!! I realise fix-its are a very popular type of fic to write, but I really do try to keep it as fresh and unique as possible, so the fact that I really am able to give my readers an experience means the world to me💖

#lovely lovely people #asks and replies #jodt #journal of dreadful things #lilbeanz #💖💖💖💖

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halfmoonism · 5 months ago

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Fics for Gaza 🍉

heya! I'll be participating in the @ficsforgaza fundraising initiative through sponsoring wips and taking requests. further rules and all my personal request guidelines will be listed below read more! my writing samples can be found in my writing masterlist (linked below) or snippets of my sponsoring wips below :)

also, do not give money directly to me. I have no links for money up regardless and I will never ask. instead, directly donate to a vetted fundraiser (can be found here and here if you need a place to start looking) and send me proof of donation (please block out personal info). fill this form out too when you make a donation, ty :)

lastly, please consider donating anyway even if you don't want to sponsor anything of mine. there's a creator masterlist if you'd rather look at what other creators are offering! and check out gotcha for gaza for any fandom-specific initiatives! free palestine till it's backwards.

general (more info below): writing masterlist post vetted fundraisers: here and here, though those are far from the only places you can find vetted fundraisers!! rate: $1 = 100 words, $8 for a drabble set fandoms I can write for: anything in my ao3, anything from the sponsored wip list, further details in carrd

General

for both

i will not be posting asks, so I'm running on an honor system. don't send multiple authors the same screenshot please, I don't want to have to stop the honor system :')

i'll have your request done within two weeks for every 1k (so 1k = 2 weeks, 2k = 4 weeks, etc) and will sent updates weekly and whenever you request

if life happens, i'll let you know immediate if i'll need more time + how much longer i'm anticipating

for requests

please send me an ask or dm (preferable, only for requests) w/ your request via dm first. so long as it falls within my request rules, it should be all good :) once I accept, then send proof of donation please!

drabble sets are a series of 25 3-sentence drabbles I can write for any prompt, as loose (fandom, pairing, centered around rain) or specific (fandom, pairing + another chara in the bg, during a specific scene in canon) as you'd like. you can req these too!

for sponsored wips

donate first to a vetted fundraiser and screenshot proof + block out any personal info

send me an ask off anon with your proof of donation and which wip/s you would like to sponsor. I will update wcs weekly

please let me know ahead of time if you would rather remain anonymous when I post the wip! I will automatically mention you in the notes unless you specify

Requests

carrd version + ship details for each fandom available here.

all fandoms I will write for (italicized = have written in published work): great ace attorney chronicles, mob psycho 100, xenoblade chronicles 1, persona 5, persona 4, death note (+ another note), pokemon gens 1-4, fe: awakening, project sekai (vbs), find love or die trying, your turn to die, undertale, long live the queen, a date with death, little nightmares, disco elysium, ib, the uncle who works for nintendo, the case study of jeweler richard, the stanley parable, portal, end roll, omori

will write: a lot. many types of AUs, canon divergence, canon missing scenes, angst, fluff, mild humor, mild crack, etc etc. requests can be as vague or as specific as you'd like. that also includes drabble sets

will not write: nsfw, dead dove, underage, omegaverse, cheating/infidelity, rape/non-con, pregnancy plotlines. generally if I don't have a ship listed in the carrd I'd rather not write it, but if I have any notps that I just can't write for in a given fandom, I'll let you know immediately

sponsored: 0/1700

Pushing Up Daisies, that's what you call thaumaturgy sequel — persona 5 royal, akechi & sumire, bg one-sided joker/akechi (that ends)

synopsis: wrapped in the suffocating vines of a perfect reality, akechi goro, without fail, calls yoshizawa kasumi every monday at 9am, never any earlier or later. he won't stop asking her what her name is.

tags: post-royal bad ending, two ppl who lost themselves clawing their way to a bittersweet ending

sponsored: 0/5000 (I don't think it'll be this short but I'll start if 2000 is met)

a long and bountiful life — mob psycho 100, dimple & mob

synopsis: “This is the first and only time I’ll use my hypnosis on you,” he says to a swaying Shigeo, and he knows this is it. (Well, he always did have grand ambitions.)

tags: canon compliant, ending of divine tree arc, angst (ig), regret

(already written: 163) sponsored: 0/1500

fun little excerpt: So, he failed. He loves that kid. He loves that kid and he’s screwed up everything for him, digging from the roots and all: the brainwashing, the mocking, the insincerity, everything he stands for was everything he threw against Shigeo, and the inkling sensation of guilt was easy enough to ignore when Shigeo had gotten full of it and denied his very existence. Easy enough when Hanazawa had stormed in and carelessly flung energy around, easy enough when he just kept proving everyone right about him, perfectly fulfilling their lack of trust and unsavory impressions, their scowls and hatred. He’s used to it! He drank it up! Of course he could take Shigeo like this! Yeah, right.

things older and murker than love [holder title] — mob psycho 100, reigen & mob & hanazawa

synopsis: sometime post-canon, hanazawa walks into s&s with an unusual request: his apartment is haunted. that isn't quite right, but shigeo doesn't know how to tell him that the walls themselves are reaching out to haunt him. (he thinks hanazawa knows, anyway.)

tags: post-canon, in which the haunting is not a person but a place, found family, hopeful ending

(already written: 912) sponsored: 0/1500

fun little excerpt: "You would?" Hanazawa mumbles. The weakened awestruck tone sounds wrong in the office, rejected from every surface and bouncing around with nebulous intent. "I mean—thanks, Kageyama." To Reigen: "No, not like something's in them. It's like—ah, you wouldn't believe me." Reigen raises an eyebrow, the way he would to a particular difficult customer. Except Hanazawa isn't a customer and Reigen's gaze is softer, fond concern shaving away the rigidity of his confidence like a whetstone.

by the cliffside, left wanting — disco elysium, cuno & harry & kim

synopsis: EMPATHY [Godly: Success] — He doesn't have anyone in the world. (The boat not having room for three doesn't stop two detectives and a fledgling hope for change.) aka: cuno goes along with harry and kim for the ending sequence

tags: canon divergence, canon-typical violence, implied/referenced child abuse, slurs (cuno), found family

note: as this is cuno pov, this means there are swears/slurs in like every sentence. oh my beloved awful 13 year old son

(already written: 2642) sponsored: 0/1500

fun little excerpt (literally a swear word in every sentence): "What if I do join the pigs, huh?!" he screams, balling his hands into fists like a goddamn street fighter, and C's face turns three shades of purple like the people in those fucking snuff films she forces him to watch. "Cuno can do whatever the fuck he wants! If you're gonna hold the Cuno back, C, then Cuno's gonna ditch your sorry ass!" He can see the moment she processes each syllable and shoves that catacomb dream out of his old-ass creaky apartment window. Yeah. Cuno's not a stupid fuck. He knows he's in deep shit. He knows C will fucking shank him in his sleep, that type of shit. Then his fucking pig sets a dinky fucker alight and the old world's gone up in smoke.

an old world's haunts — your turn to die, joe &/ sara (one-sided most likely)

synopsis: in every world but this world, sara doesn't lose joe. she can't lose joe. she can't lose joe. (in which sara's utter ruthlessness in the simulations is explored)

tags: major character death (undone, but happens in every 'world' iteration), canon-typical violence (often enacted by sara), emotional manipulation, just. absolute cruelty to survive, the ai simulations.

(already written: 2828) sponsored: 0/1700

untitled canon-divergent au — mob psycho 100, reigen & mogami

synopsis: the world's greatest psychic of the 20th century meets the world's greatest psychic of the 21st century earlier than expected. Somehow, this makes all the difference. aka, in which 12 yo reigen forces mogami to take him in as an 'apprentice'

tags: for want of a nail, nobody is dead, being kind to ppl for fun and profit (it is not fun and there is minimal profit), redemption sort of, found family, non-linear narrative

(already written: 658) sponsored: 0/2000

fun little snippet: But the kid's face reminds him of his own teenage self on the reruns he's unfortunate enough to catch, far-removed from the skin of the drained, lying has-been he's currently wearing. The desire to be someone, to go out of his way to be better is altogether too familiar. Denying this kid now, no matter how pragmatic, feels like betraying the sense of self Keiji perhaps liked best. So he asks, "What's your name?" And makes a mistake.

some sort of remaking — persona 4, kanji/naoto/rise

synopsis: as valentine's day approaches, rise gets hit with the bright idea to teach naoto how to flirt so that they and kanji could finally get it together. that is... not exactly what happens

tags: developing relationship, getting together

(already written: 479) sponsored: 0/2000

fun little excerpt: "No, Naoto-kun, your line delivery's a bit—here, say it a bit slower and try smiling at the end, 'kay?" Naoto-kun, ever the fast learner, follows her instructions to the letter. Which is great, of course! Makes her job easier! Her heart's having a hard time in the face of their sincere smile, though. She didn't think a smile could shine outside of sets.

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persphonesorchid · 10 months ago

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Mark Of The Arcane || Chapter Four ||

↣ Summary; Centuries before, in the times of the ancient Kings, a prophecy was heard. When the three kingdoms of Valerem fall to ruins, their saviour would come in blinding starlight. Who is this saviour, you may ask? None other than Min Yoongi, who was too busy being late to work to realize he definitely wasn’t on earth anymore.

↣ Part: Chapter Four; Lessons in History

↣Word count: 6.8k

↣Warnings: Yoongi and his anxiety, Seokjin is a little prickly.

Chapter Archive | Masterlist

Notes: Hello all! Welcome back to MOTA! I'm so sorry about the wait, writing this fic is a lot lol. There's so much to describe and so much to get done. From here on out the chapters will be much longer than the previous ones, as I don't want the series to drag out too much and it's not meant to be a long series anyway. So I'll try my best to get as much into a chapter before moving on. Things are s little slow right now, but i promise the exciting stuff will start soon! I really hope you all enjoy! Feedback is very much appreciated and encouraged! Let me know what you think!

Yoongi follows behind Seokjin, gazing around at the difference of the hallway as he does. Earlier, the opposite side of the wall mirrored the side he came out of; a line of mahogany doors as far as he could see.

Now where the doors were, are windows in intervals. Tall arched panes of glass stained blue at the tops, and through them he could just make out the edge of a town far away and below. It’s mostly forest he could see, the tops of tall green trees and birds with strange long tails darting about to settle as the sun drags the moon into the sky.

The walls are greystone, and within the spaces between each window held a navy blue banner that comes halfway down the wall. The crest at the center is intricate; a mix of a lighter blue and gold, a golden sword spears downward into a crown near the hilt of the blade. Just below the crown is what Yoongi would describe as a fancy snowflake, surrounded by little wisps of small golden patterns, and wings sprouting at the sword's end. It’s all surrounded by blue and golden leaves that follow the upward arch of the wings.

It’s an enlarged version of the crested clasp of his cloak.

He hadn’t realized he stopped to stare at it until Seokjin whistled at him from further up the hallway. He jogs a little to meet him.

“They’re designed to confuse.” Seokjin says as Yoongi falls in step with him.

“Huh?”

“The hallway was different when you first came out, right?” Seokjin glances at him and then waves a hand at the wall. “They’re imbued with magic. A precaution His Majesty took years ago in case of a siege from outside forces. You’re not a threat, so it looks as normal as it does to everyone else.”

Yoongi isn’t sure if that’s an insult or not, being called non threatening. To Seokjin though, he’s certain he looks like a newborn foal trying to take his first steps into a world he doesn’t understand. So, he supposes it’s not an incorrect word choice.

Seokjin leads him through a door, and down another hallway. Unlike the hallway before, this one was teeming with people.

It’s mostly women, bustling around, some carrying what Yoongi assumes to be cleaning supplies, others pushing little carts with silver trays and platters. Most of them barely pay him mind, but stop briefly to incline their heads at Seokjin. They’re all wearing white and something blue: one girl that looked like she should be sitting in a classroom wizzes by, a navy blue ribbon tied into her frizzy hair; another with a blue armband calling after her.

The chatter of that hallway fades once it’s behind another closed door, and Yoongi follows Seokjin down a flight of spiral stairs.

“I’m taking you to Hoseok, do try to remember the way. I won’t be around to show you every time.” Seokjin’s words are a little clipped and Yoongi gets the feeling he doesn’t like him very much. He doesn’t want to be here anyway, much less be up in anyone’s hair causing issues.

He’s not too certain what Seokjin is, and finds himself staring at his ears rather than actually memorizing directions. He asked if he was an elf and he was offended, he’s not sure what else he’s supposed to think.

Seokjin stops at a door and knocks twice before pushing it open. The first thing Yoongi notices is how clean it smells. It burns his nose a little as he walks in, looking around at what clearly is a medical room.

There’s two shelves against the wall, one filled with thick tomes, and the other stacked with bottled things. Off to the left is a curtained area, and on the wall, charts of anatomy and other things that Yoongi couldn’t make sense of.

There’s another door on the far right of the room, closed with a little plaque that says ‘Private’ in small bold letters. Tucked near the wall is a desk, more books arranged neatly in a pile, papers under a bottle of something or the other to keep them there.

The door opens and Hoseok steps through it, still wearing his white coat and startled seeing Yoongi and Seokjin there.

“Oh – you guys scared me.” He presses a hand to his chest, “Jin, you haven’t seen Yoselin, have you? I’m afraid I may have upset her...”

“She’s still trying to get you to mentor her?”

Hoseok sighs, “She doesn’t have the affinity for it, but she’s stubborn. And with her sister being one of my students it’s made her feel left out.”

“She’ll come to... I’ve brought him for you.” He gestures to Yoongi, and turns on his heel to leave, “Oh, show him the way back please, I’ve got other things to get done before late.”

Hoseok waves him off with a hand and then he was gone.

“You don’t look so out of place anymore,” Hoseok smiles, “Take your cloak off and then you can get settled over there for me.”

Yoongi does as he’s told and takes his cloak off, shuffling over to the curtained area. He pulls the curtain back and there’s a bed that resembles a hospital bed where he came from. There’s hinges on the sides that make it so that the bed can be adjusted, and Yoongi sits on the end of it while Hoseok gathers some things from his desk.

He comes over not long after, holding a strange glass ball that glows a pale green. “How are you feeling?”

“Alright...” Yoongi mutters and Hoseok hums.

“Headache?”

“Gone.” Though, even as he says this, Yoongi could feel it at his temples, just not bad enough to be a bother.

“Stay very still.” Hoseok says, lifting his hand with the glass ball to Yoongi’s forehead, checks something, and then presses it against his chest. There’s a warm sort of feeling coming from it that he could feel even through his shirt. “Okay...”

Hoseok moves away briefly, walking back to his desk and sets the ball down. Yoongi watches in amazement as it floats a little above the surface of the table top. “Uh...what is that exactly?”

“Hm? Oh, it’s an essence meter. It measures your arcane magic intake levels.” He comes back over with a book, it’s thick and has little colorful page markers sticking out of the pages. “So far, you’re stable. But it can fluctuate as your body gets used to it, so if you feel sick you need to tell me.”

Yoongi nods, rubbing his hands along his thighs. He’s still so confused about everything, but he’s trying his best to take it as it comes and not dwell on it too much. Hoseok settles on a chair, sitting a little lower than Yoongi is, opening the book to a page and pulls a black feather quill out of an inside pocket of his coat.

“I’m going to ask you a few things, just procedure, don’t worry. Then you’re free to go.”

Hoseok asks him basic medical questions, and jots it all down in his book. It didn't take too long, and soon he was handing him a glass vial no longer than his index finger. The little things inside tink softly against the glass, they look like dried pieces of root, a reddish brown color.

“If you get any more headaches, you can put one of these in hot water. It’s what I gave you earlier.”

Yoongi grimaces at the memory, a phantom bitterness at the back of his throat. He nods, tucking the vial away into the pocket of his pants.

“Try to get as much rest as possible, too. Your body has to regulate your magic intake. You can come back every three days so I can see how it’s going.”

Hoseok ushers him to the door, patting his shoulder softly, “Oh, and don’t worry about Seokjin. He’ll warm up to you.” He opens the door and Yoongi almost walks right into another person.

The young man takes a stumbling step back as though Yoongi had bumped into him, and he almost reaches out to steady him. He does so himself, pressing a hand against the door frame and side steps so Yoongi could pass.

He looks a little sickly, dark circles under his eyes like he hasn’t slept in days, and his cheeks blotchy. He offers Yoongi a kind smile regardless.

“Ah, Taehyung...I was just coming to get you. You don’t have to walk all the way here, you know.” Hoseok says, and as Yoongi steps out, Taehyung steps into the room and the door falls shut.

Yoongi thinks he could manage getting himself back to his room. He refastens the clasp of his cloak and retraces his steps. Back up the spiral staircase and into the hallway, luckily finding the right door, to the hallway filled with people still bustling around, Yoongi can only assume that they’re the servants of this place. As much as that thought throws him for a loop, these people look happy as they move about doing their tasks.

While no one had spared him a glance when he walked through here earlier with Seokjin, everyone he passes by pauses minutely to stare. He keeps his head down and tries his best to make it through without being in anyone’s way.

Night had fully fallen, and the scones embedded into the walls had been lit, casting a warm glow along every surface.

“Your Highness, please. The King will have me hanging by my toes in the courtyard.” A short, plump woman steps out of a door, and Yoongi stops just before he could run into her. Her hair is dark, held tightly at the top of her head in the neatest bun Yoongi’s ever seen. There’s a small towel slung over her shoulder, another hanging from the pocket of her navy blue apron.

You’re trailing behind her, both your hands on her shoulders and a bright, broad smile on your face. You step with her, clinging to her back like a baby monkey.

“He’ll do no such thing.” You laugh, and you press a kiss to her rosy cheek, “Please, Esther. If you do this for me, I’ll love you forever.”

Esther swats at you with her towel, pursing her lips. “You say that every time you little Lumispore.” She says shaking her head before sighing resolutely when you bat your eyelashes at her, “Alright, alright. Now, go on, some of us have work to do.”

“Thank you! I’m forever in your debt, my lady.” You tug at the skirts of your silk dress and curtsy, laughing as you pull back when Esther swings her towel at you again.

Esther turns and Yoongi steps aside, but her dark eyes are pinned on him and she tuts, “You’re the new lad? Goodness, you're skin and bones!”

She squeezes gently at Yoongi’s arms and he feels heat rise to his cheeks, “I’ll tell Wooyoung to make sure you get hearty meals... put some meat on you.” She shakes her head, and pats his cheek softly, “Don’t worry child, you’re in good hands.”

She smiles, a twinkle in her eyes before she’s going up the hall, “Rina, you know very well where those go!”

“Sorry about her, she’s a mother hen.” You say softly, smiling, “I hope she didn’t offend you?”

“Oh, no. No, she’s fine.” He’ll probably admit it out loud later, but it’s nice to have someone worry about him. She reminds him of Mrs Li, waddling off and chatting with the younger servants.

“Did you visit Hoseok?” You’re walking in the direction he’s heading and Yoongi’s not sure if it’s okay to walk in step with you, so he walks a couple behind, but still close enough to hear you. “How is your magic intake?”

“Hoseok says that it’s stable for now...” He watches as you wave off everyone that stops to bow or curtsy. You’re quite quick on your feet, and Yoongi’s somewhat glad to see that you’re wearing shoes this time. Even with the amount of people walking about, he could feel a cold draft coming through the slightly cracked windows.

“That’s good, an overflow of magic can be dangerous.” You nod to yourself, reaching the door at the beginning of the hallway and pushing it open with a hand.

“Do you know a lot about it?”

“Magic? Or, do you mean healing?” You chuckle, holding the door open until he steps through. “Healing was part of my studies. As for magic, everyone knows a lot about it.” You shrug a shoulder, and then look behind you.

“Oh, you don’t have to walk so far behind me.” You stop walking and wait until Yoongi steps where you’ve stopped before you fall into step with him. “I’m not that kind of royal.”

“Sorry.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, don’t apologize.”

Yoongi’s back to thinking that maybe he really did get drugged and stepped into some sort of weird lucid dream. He’s never paid much mind to fairytales, or Princesses for that matter, but you’re surely acting like one. Though, he’s read stories where royals are absolute assholes, and he supposes he may have expected a bit of that. A holier than thou attitude.

Back where he comes from, he’s sure you’re the type of princess that ends up in a Disney movie; beautiful and empowering and encouraging young girls to be kind.

“Hobi said where you came from doesn’t have magic.” You say softly, turning your head to look at him, “What’s it like?”

“Well...” Yoongi wouldn’t say there isn’t any magic where he came from. People find magic in all sorts of things, like first snows or four leaf clovers. People find magic in other people, children find magic in Christmas. But this place is different, magic in a literal sense, and if he thinks about it too much he’ll have another headache. “It’s nothing like this.”

“Must be strange...being here, I mean.”

“You have no idea.”

You’ve led him back to the hallway where his room is, quiet for a moment. “Oh! Right. You’ll need to learn how to properly control your arcane and be able to use it.”

“Um...” Yoongi feels a dull twinge of pain where his arcane sits. He has no idea how he’ll start to understand how to do that.

“Don’t look so frightened.” You chuckle softly, “I’ll be teaching you. And we won’t start right away, your magic intake would be a little weird for a while so it’s safer for everyone that we don’t attempt anything.”

Yoongi only nods, standing now, a little awkwardly.

“Are you hungry? I can have dinner brought to you.” You ask softly. He isn’t , but he doesn’t want to be rude by declining.

“I’d invite you to the dining hall but I think that would be too much for you right now.” You say, “And my father is a bit...” You shake your head, smiling again, although it seems a bit tense, “Go in, I’ll be right back.”

You step past him, going down a different hall than the one you’d both come from and Yoongi steps back into his room. He takes his cloak off, hanging the thick material on a hook near the door with a sigh. His eyes land on the book he left on the nightstand, walking over to sit on the bed.

He’d have to resign himself to not getting home any time soon. It’s better if he accepts it and moves forward as nothing could be done at the moment. He doesn’t quite know what to do with himself, suddenly thrust into this world with a prophecy over his head. It’s almost too much.

Yoongi is accustomed to just billowing through life, trying to move with the world lest it move on without him. It was easy, growing up in an orphanage and struggling to get by with the little he had. He’s never blamed his parents – whoever they are – for giving him up, he was fine without a mother’s comfort and a father’s guidance. He didn’t have anyone to make proud or anyone’s shoes to fill. It makes sense now, somewhat.

He feels like a kid who’s dressed in his father’s clothes pretending to be a man. Like someone put a pair of shoes at his feet and told him to wear them even if they’re too big for him. The weight of this world feels heavy on his shoulders, as though he’s an ant trying to lift a building.

How is he supposed to go along and be this savior everyone expects him to be? He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to be saving them from. Some form of darkness that hasn’t been seen in centuries?

Being sent here would be no problem without all this extra shit on top of it.

Yoongi presses his fingers against the spot on his ribs where his arcane mark sits. He’s never complained about his life being ordinary, completely okay with nothing exciting happening. So of course this happens.

He’s thinking too much.

Just as he lays back into the soft linen sheets, there’s a knock on his door. It opens just a bit and your head pops through the gap. Yoongi sits back up as you open the door wider and wheeled in a silver cart before you.

“Hoseok said it’s okay for you to eat something heavier now.” You say, pushing the door closed, “I didn’t know what you’d like so I brought a bit of everything.”

You push the cart over, there’s two covered silver trays and two tall glasses filled with what Yoongi hopes is just water.

You uncover the first tray and there’s a plate of steamed potatoes, braised beef and sautéed carrots and what he would call broccoli if the little tree type things weren’t purple. There’s a little bowl with a fluffy looking pastry with a dollop of pinkish cream in the dipped center, another bowl with short grain rice garnished with something red and flaky and a smaller plate with two filets of fried fish.

“I hope you don’t mind if I ate with you?” You ask, uncovering the other tray that had a spread that mirrors his own.

“I don’t...”

You smile, reaching down to the other compartment of the cart, handing him utensils wrapped in soft blue cloth. You move away for a bit, and stare at the table tucked against the wall in the corner of the room with a hand on your hip and then back at the cart. Catching your train of thought, Yoongi gets up and pushes the cart over.

“Oh! I would’ve done it.”

“It’s alright.” He could push a cart, darn it. He feels like he’s being coddled, by a Princess no less. He doesn’t need to feel like he can’t do anything on top of everything else. He sets the plates, bowls and glasses of water on the table and then moves the cart out of the way before going back across the room to grab the other chair that Hoseok had left near his bedside.

He waits until you’re sitting to do the same, but isn’t sure which side of his food to start from. He picks up the bowl of rice and starts there, the red flakes are spicy.

“Was the book any interesting?” You’re eating the pastry first, scooping out the cream at the center with a small spoon. You motion at the book on his nightstand with a tilt of your head.

The fish is well seasoned and quite distracting, and Yoongi nods, “It didn’t tell me much about anything really...just why my...arcane was created...”

You hum softly, “Well, records on your arcane have been lost for centuries, there isn’t much to know about it unfortunately.” You finish off the pastry, “And there isn’t anyone that could teach you how to properly use it, with it being a pure arcane.”

“Pure arcane?”

“There are no subfields.” You say, and when Yoongi gives you a confused tilt of his head you catch yourself. “Ah. Well...before everything was The Firsts. We’re not entirely sure where they originated from, but they were the first arcane users. Their arcanes were the elements, my ancestor Incra, was the first wind arcane user. While the other elements broke off into subfields, there are rare arcanes that only occur once.

My arcane is hereditary, it's never been bestowed to anyone outside the royal bloodline. Which in itself makes it pure, though, it’s easy for me since everything I need to know about it was recorded.”

“So...how am I supposed to learn how to use it?” Yoongi worries at his bottom lip with his teeth, food forgotten.

“Esther wields a fire arcane, it’s somewhat similar to yours even with how different they are. She’ll be helping me.”

“Right...”

He’s halfway through his steamed potatoes, and you eat quietly across from him. He pokes at the beef with his fork, setting aside the purple broccoli with a little frown. Who knows what that would do.

He supposes he’ll have to get used to this rich food. Not that he hasn’t had something of the like before, it’s just working as a barista isn’t all that freeing; splurging on fancy things like beef was a rare occurrence. That, and most of the money he had to spare went into his savings.

“Y/n...?” Yoongi calls with uncertainty, even though you told him to address you by name. You look up from your plate, humming in question, a brow raised slightly. “Can you tell me anything more about the prophecy?”

You shake your head, “No, I’m sorry. There’s only one record of it and not a lot of people have seen it. Some people don’t even know there is a prophecy.” You chuckle a bit and then grow somber, eyes looking a little sad, “I know this must be hard for you... You’ve been taken away from your life and suddenly everything’s being thrown at you.”

“It’s...” Yoongi sighs, leaning back into the chair, “I’ll manage.”

You stare at him for a moment more, clearly wanting to say something else before you shake your head. “You should eat that,” you point at his untouched pastry with the end of your fork, and Yoongi’s grateful for the change of subject. “It’s amazing. The cream is made from eclipse berries and Duiox milk.”

“What milk?” Yoongi eyes the pastry like it would grow a head and start doing the tango.

“Duiox...it’s like a cow...but they have tusks...you don’t have those?”

After dinner, you say goodbye at the door, pushing the cart back outside his room. You seem a little reluctant to leave as you step outside, fiddling with the silk sleeves of your dress.

“How about a tour tomorrow? If you’re feeling well enough?” You ask, settling the cart against the wall, but your hands never leave the handle.

“That’d be nice.” Yoongi offers a smile. That’d be great actually, it’d be better for him to learn his way around this place if he’s going to be staying.

“Great! I’ll come fetch you after breakfast.” And with that you’re gone, pushing the cart up the hallway and Yoongi watches you leave.

The morning greets Yoongi with a whistled song, a beam of sunlight lighting a stripe along the marble floor. He groans softly as he wakes, a headache thrumming at his temples and behind his eyes when he opens them to squint.

There’s a strange looking bird on the windowsill, hopping along it, chirping softly. The rising sun sets its plumes ablaze in emerald and a sheen of pink, and Yoongi watches as it ruffles its feathers and flies off.

There’s a knock at his door that disturbs the quiet and sends the headache bouncing in his head. He doesn’t think it’s you, as you would poke your head in after waiting a moment. The knock comes again and Yoongi’s forced to get up, shuffling towards the door.

There’s a young servant girl behind it, her eyes wide and blue when he opens the door. She’s brought him breakfast, hidden under silver trays and tells him to simply leave the cart outside when he’s done.

He pulls the cart into his room, finding a breakfast of porridge, toasted bread, scrambled eggs and sliced fruit.

Under the second tray is a porcelain tea set, a small holder with cubes of sugar and another with milk. There’s little mesh bags that smell like spices, which he leaves reluctantly, instead, dropping one of the roots that Hoseok had given him into the teacup. He pours the water over it and watches the steam rise from the cup, giving it time to draw as he eats.

He chews on the crust of a toast slice, watching the water turn auburn. He drinks it quickly, and tries to ignore the bitterness of it.

When he’d finished his breakfast, he left the cart outside as he was told. Before he’d gone to bed last night, a few maid servants brought him clothes that they’d tucked into the wooden wardrobe in the corner of the room, and showed him where the bathroom was. Embarrassingly, the door was hiding behind white drapes he thought were just there for some sort of decoration.

The clothes he received were mostly black and white, and they all incorporated navy blue somehow. He’s guessed by now that’s just the colour scheme of this place. He pulls out a neatly folded black long sleeve tunic, the strings that hold the v-cut of the collar closed the same navy blue as the glittering trimmings of the hem, and black cotton pants that he’ll have to fold at the ankles.

There’s a couple of soft towels folded and tucked into the bottom corner of the wardrobe, and he hugs everything to his chest and makes his way to the bathroom.

The bathroom is large, shelves jutting out of the wall beside a mirror filled with an assortment of bath oils and scented candles. The white marble of the floor shimmers with golden swirls, and the sunken bathtub in the middle of the room is big enough to fit four people standing five feet apart.

The silver faucet at the foot of the tub hums before it spits water when he turns the knob, steam rising and curling into the air. He sets his clothes and towel down, standing before the shelf to pick two of the oils he thinks smells the best.

There’s one that smells strangely of apricot and cinnamon, and one of mint leaves and a label that promises to soothe aches and pains. He pours a bit of each into the water and sinks into it with a sigh.

And Yoongi stays there until the light of the sun seems a bit brighter, no longer hiding behind trees and early morning mist. The sounds that float from outside through the cracked window aren’t half as mindful, as everyone is starting to wake up and go about their day. It’s different to the sounds he’s used to: honking cars and the buzz of traffic, people yelling, his neighbour’s stomping steps in the apartment above him. It’s quieter, the world wakes gently; he likes the change.

He feels different today, the jitter of his nerves had calmed some since last night, the headache he woke with was all but a memory that would be back later, he’s sure. He thinks that at some point between last night and waking, he’s accepted what his life is to be now. The weight of so many people’s lives apparently in his hands, the pressure that he’s certain would come with learning the workings of his arcane, the fact that he may never go back home. All of it.

He stays in the bath until his fingers are prunes and the water is cold, and his hair is a little short of damp; drying in a frizzy mess. He steps out of the tub, watching as the water magically drains away. He dries off and gets dressed, the clothes sticking to his damp skin where the swipe of the towel missed and steps out. He leaves the door open so that the air can flow through the room, filling his bed space with the scent of apricot and cinnamon.

When he's rolling his socks on and tucking the ends of his pants into the top of his boots, there’s a soft knock on his door. He expects the pause that comes after as much as he expected the door to open and you poking your head in.

You smile when you spot him, and Yoongi’s afraid that at some point, he’ll get too used to it. Your dress is silk and pale yellow today, a blue ribbon twisted into the braid of your hair.

“Good morning,” You greet at the door, not coming in and Yoongi wonders why, “Did you sleep well?”

There’s a murmur somewhere behind you that makes you look over your shoulder and roll your eyes, “Stop that.”

Yoongi stands, and at his approach you pull away from the gap in the door, and he finds Seokjin there too, leaning against the adjacent wall.

“If you’re going to be annoying you may as well find something else to do, Jin.” You say, turning to face Seokjin as Yoongi steps out of the room.

Seokjin points a finger to himself, looking offended, “Me? Annoying? I’m a joy to be around!”

“Yes. Whenever you’re not being like....whatever it is you’re being now.” You wave a hand at him, pursing your lips.

“It's my job to follow you around, Your Highness.” Seokjin retorts, crossing his arms over his chest, “I can’t just leave you alone with a stranger.”

“I’ll be fine.” You say a little testily, and Yoongi eyes dart between you and Seokjin as you have a stare off. He suddenly feels like he shouldn’t be standing here listening, feeling awkward and not sure what to do with his hands.

“I’ll walk five steps behind.” Seokjin says, moving a little ways away and counting his steps for you to hear, much to your evident annoyance.

You sigh through your nose, shaking your head before you turn to Yoongi. “There’s a lot to see, come on.”

You lead him through different hallways, showing him different rooms and different things of cultural significance, and Yoongi tries his best to keep up with it all. Seokjin is still walking five steps behind, and every now and then he could feel the weight of his gaze.

The library within the palace is expansive, the grandeur of its size evident as you step into the room. Rows of towering bookshelves line the walls, their mahogany frames gleaming softly in the ambient light filtering through stained glass windows. Yoongi’s eyes widen as he takes in the vast collection of leather-bound tomes and ancient scrolls neatly arranged on polished wooden tables.

You gesture towards the rows of books, your voice carrying a note of reverence as you speak. “This is the heart of the palace’s knowledge, where centuries of history and wisdom are preserved.” As you lead Yoongi deeper into the library, you pause occasionally to point out notable works or elaborate on the significance of certain texts.

Yoongi’s expression shifts from curiosity to awe as he absorbs the wealth of information surrounding him. He finds himself immersed in the quiet serenity of the library, captivated by the timeless treasures it holds within its walls.

As you guide Yoongi further into the library, the scent of aged parchment and ink hangs in the air, mingling with the faint aroma of polished wood. Sunlight streams through ornate windows, casting ethereal patterns of light and shadow across the rows of shelves.

You pause beside a particularly ornate display case, its glass surface protecting delicate manuscripts and artifacts. “These are some of the rarest and most valuable pieces in our collection,” you explain, your voice hushed with reverence.

Yoongi leans in closer, his gaze drawn to the intricately illuminated manuscripts and ancient relics within the case. He reaches out tentatively, as if hesitant to disturb the timeless beauty before him.

As you continue the tour, weaving through the maze of bookshelves and alcoves, Yoongi’s fascination deepens with each passing moment. The weight of Seokjin’s silent presence fades into the background, overshadowed by the richness of knowledge and history contained within the library’s walls.

Together, you and Yoongi explore the depths of the library, delving into its vast archives and uncovering the secrets of centuries past. In this sanctuary of learning and discovery, time seems to stand still, allowing Yoongi to lose himself in the wonders of the written word.

Nestled within the heart of the library, concealed behind a discreet doorway veiled in shadow, lies a chamber of treasures known only to the royal family of Jax. This clandestine sanctum, accessible only to those of royal blood, houses a collection of artifacts and tomes that are as priceless as they are precious.

As the heavy door swings open on silent hinges, a soft glow spills forth, illuminating the room in a warm, golden light. Shelves line the walls from floor to ceiling, laden with ancient scrolls, intricately bound tomes, and ornate artifacts of bygone eras. Each item within this sacred space holds a piece of the kingdom’s history, a testament to the valor, wisdom, and legacy of generations past.

Among the treasures housed within this chamber are artifacts of great significance, relics from battles long fought and victories hard won. Weapons forged of enchanted steel, their edges still sharp with the echoes of ancient conflicts, stand alongside intricately crafted jewelry adorned with precious gemstones, each piece a symbol of royal heritage and lineage.

Alongside the artifacts, shelves groan under the weight of countless tomes, their leather bindings weathered with age yet still bearing wisdom. These volumes contain the accumulated knowledge of scholars and sages, chronicling the history, culture, and arcane arts of the kingdom of Jax.

As Yoongi steps into this hallowed chamber, he is enveloped in a sense of reverence and awe, keenly aware of the weight of history that surrounds him. Each artifact and tome holds a story waiting to be discovered, a glimpse into the rich tapestry of the kingdom.

The air hums with an almost palpable energy, suffused with the residual magic of centuries gone by. Illuminated by soft, ethereal light that dances and flickers across the ancient stone walls, the room exudes an aura of mystique and wonder.

Upon shelves of polished oak and gilded metal, an array of artifacts sits neatly behind clear glass, each one imbued with its own unique enchantment. Robes of shimmering silk hang suspended in midair, their fabric rippling as if stirred by an unseen breeze, while ancient tomes bound in spell-woven leather beckon with promises of forbidden knowledge.

Glowing crystals pulsate with otherworldly radiance, casting prismatic hues across the room, while ornate staffs and wands stand sentinel, their intricate carvings whispering secrets of arcane power.

“Some arcane users use magic embedded weapons to channel their power.” Seokjin says from the doorway, keeping his word to stay at a distance. He doesn’t disturb your rambling, stepping closer to Yoongi as you move further away, not noticing that they weren’t following. “Some of these were made by the pixies, most of them by the Fae.”

Of course they have pixies, the surprises may never end, and curiosity makes Yoongi ask: “The Fae?”

Seokjin spares Yoongi a glance, “Your world must be so boring.” He sighs, “The Fae are thought to be descendants of an Arcane user that was cursed. They could be mistaken for pixies at a glance if you don’t know what to look for. They use arcane magic and their artifacts as they don’t have magic like the pixies do. They also don’t have wings, and the point of their ears are a lot shorter.”

Yoongi realises this is the most Seokjin has spoken to him since he’s arrived, without the air of barely concealed contempt. He glances at his ears and Seokjin notices, chuckling softly.

“I’m not a Fae. Half pixie.” He clarifies for him, though his tone is a little strained. “I don’t carry an arcane.”

His voice trails off and Yoongi senses that the moment is over. Your steps trail back to them, “You two had me talking to myself.”

“Sorry.” Yoongi and Seokjin speak at the same time, and Seokjin remains close as you continue walking.

You seem to glow in the soft glitter of light, a sparkle in your eyes as you explain everything to him. He wonders how you keep everything at the top of your head to rattle it off like you’re telling him about the weather.

Leaving the sanctuary of the library and the room of artifacts behind, you guide Yoongi through a series of winding corridors adorned with portraits of the royal family and their ancestors. Each painting tells a story, capturing the essence of generations past in vibrant strokes and intricate detail.

You pause before a particularly imposing portrait, its gilt frame gleaming in the dim light. It depicts a figure enveloped in swirling winds, their form shrouded in mystery and power.

“This is Incra.” you announce, your voice tinged with reverence. Incra, depicted in the painting, is a woman of striking beauty and undeniable grace. Her dark hair cascades in glossy waves around her shoulders, framing a face adorned with features as delicate as porcelain. Her eyes, pools of deep, mysterious darkness, hold a glimmer of ancient wisdom and unfathomable power.

In the painting, Incra stands with poise and confidence, her figure shrouded in billowing robes that ripple like the winds she commands. Her presence is commanding yet ethereal, radiating an aura of otherworldly elegance and strength.

Despite the passage of time, the artist has captured Incra’s timeless beauty with remarkable precision, immortalizing her as a symbol of reverence and awe.

Yoongi’s gaze lingers on the painting, captivated by the enigmatic figure at its center. He can almost feel the crackle of energy radiating from the canvas, a testament to the awe-inspiring abilities of the kingdom’s ancient arcane users.

As you move along the hallway, you continue to point out notable figures from the kingdom’s history, offering brief descriptions of their accomplishments and legacies. Yoongi listens intently, his curiosity piqued by the rich tapestry of stories woven into each painting.

With the tour of the paintings complete, you lead Yoongi onward, eager to show him more of the palace’s treasures and secrets. As you traverse the hallowed halls of the castle, Yoongi’s sense of wonder only grows, fueled by the tales of valor and magic that echo through its storied corridors.

Next to him, Seokjin stifles a yawn, “If you don’t stop her she could go on all day.” He says, as you open another door with flair, waving them both forward with a hand. Yoongi doesn’t mind really, even with all the knowledge trying to find a place to settle in his head, having to fit amongst all the other regular things already in there.

At the other end of this hallway is an arched ceiling above another door. The walls are carved by little arched windows that are opened to let the cool air from outside blow in.

Before you all could reach the other door, the door behind Yoongi and Seokjin opens. A young man steps through, eyes glancing between Yoongi and Seokjin before they settle on you. He looks like a guard, though dressed very differently to Seokjin. Adorned in a fitted tunic of midnight black, embellished with intricate silver embroidery that catches the light in subtle glimmers, the guard cuts a striking figure against the backdrop of the palace walls. His trousers, tailored to perfection, flow seamlessly into polished leather boots.

The hood of the dark cloak hides the colour of his hair, the folds of it billows at his feet in the slight breeze. There’s a a stretch of dark fabric over the bottom of his face that hides most of his features that leaves just the striking azure of his eyes. He looks like an assassin if Yoongi didn’t know any better.

“Your Highness.” He calls, and there’s a different air about him that Yoongi could feel. It crackles about him like static. “His Majesty requests you.”

“Oh.” You seem to deflate a bit, and Seokjin pats your shoulder gently.

“You can bore us later.”

There’s a swipe of your hand and Seokjin pulls away with a laugh, just shy of getting hit. There’s clearly something more between you both that goes beyond a Princess and her guard.

Yoongi thanks you for taking the time to show him around and you smile, bidding them both goodbye before you follow after the young man.

It’s quiet between Yoongi and Seokjin , the silence slowly melting into something a little awkward as they’re left alone.

“Well this was riveting.” Seokjin says, dropping his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders and leading him forward towards the other end of the hallway. “I’ll show you the courtyard. All the fun stuff happens there.”

[Bold: can't tag]

Permatag: @allhobbitstoisengard @dontstoptime @astormunchar @eren-fall @taestefully-in-luv @bangtansmauyeondan @xpeachesncream @blog-name-idk @madbutgloriouspond

Series tag: @mssukeyna @purest-expressionofgrief @i-dont-give-a-fok @xyahrinx @3sriracha @loveyoongles @studiosakuras @amon-rei @freyawreya

#Persphonesorchid #Fic: Mark Of The Aracne #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #bts series #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #bts fanfic #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #kim taehyung #bts suga #bts suga x reader #bts fantasy au #princess!reader #bts fic recs

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03jyh23 · 3 months ago

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│hi my lovely people!!! i'm not even sure if you guys still remember me since my hiatus lasted longer than i expected, but summer vacation is nearly coming to an end for me, and that means i'll be more active. a few days ago, for the first time in a long while, i opened my laptop and wrote a short drabble, and it ignited something in me.

i'm happy to be back in a place where i find writing joyful. i'm happy that, once again, it helps me with my emotions rather than complicating them.

during the time i took off, i created many beautiful memories and did things my heart had longed for. i went to a 6-day music festival and spent 7 nights in a tent—something i’d never done before! then, i spent a lot of time with a friend who lives in another country but came back for a holiday, my brother got married, and i visited my mom and grandma with my best friend. so i got the break i needed. and my aniteez merch arrived!!!

as usual, you can expect some angst soon, along with the promised enamored smut version! while finding our way back will remain on hold, i hope you'll stick around for some drabbles and new parts of goes to waste series. but don’t worry, jongho and nari will have their story written and completed. i promise.

i wanted to personally thank my lovely mutuals, @freyaphoria, for messaging me and making me feel needed and special. thank you for reaching out—it truly helped me overcome my internal block. and of course, my lovely JJ aka @justsomekpopstuff, seeing your sweet inboxes and mentions in tag games made me feel like there’s still someone remembering me and waiting for me on here. and @vcutparis, for loving 2 soon so much that it inspired me to start writing another hongjoong angst (the drabble i mentioned before) ♡

i’m really excited to be back and share more stories with all of you. thank you so much for your love and support, it truly means the world to me. i hope you’ll enjoy what’s coming next!

love you, mon! ♡

(some of my favorite sky pictures i took)

#{mon talks 🌤️}#will i ever use tags properly??#i keep creating new and forgetting about them right after lol #i need to be more organised istg #but hey! iam back and ready to post angst #personal

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lostgracestories · 1 year ago

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Distant Sparks (Miguel O'Hara x Reader)

This was once again the winner of my most recent poll and WOO you guys are in for a treat! Unlike my usual one-shots so far, I am planning to make this into a series! I'm not sure how many parts this series will have but I am psyched!! Anyways, enough babbling and to the story!

tw: mention of bullying (past experience), cold Miguel, mention of Gabriella

wc: 661

->pt1<- pt2

Enjoy~ <3 (comment to be added to the tag list for this series)

You strolled happily down the halls of spider society with the biggest smile plastered to your face. You were a new Spiderwoman and you’d been accepted into the society only 2 months after being bit by your spider. Right now you are carrying this week's anomaly reports to take to Miguel. You had only met him twice. Once when you were recruited, and a second time when he called you to his office to give you your first mission. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t more than a little excited to see him again.

As you approached Miguel’s lab? Office? Surveillance room? Whatever it was, you stood there and inhaled a sharp breath before excitedly scurrying in, papers in hand.

“Hey, Miguel!” Miguel keeps his eyes focused on the screens in front of him. He has no interest in you yet and barely acknowledges you with a quiet, ‘Hm?’

“Jess said she had to take care of an important matter and asked if I’d drop these papers with you! I think she said that these are anomaly reports?” Miguel barely turns his head to inspect you for a moment from his platform before once again giving you a less-than-flattering response

“Thanks”

He webs the papers up to himself and flips through them, scanning through the details before setting them down and noticing that you are still there from the corner of his eye

“Unless you have anything else of importance to tell me, please leave”

His response is cold and you bite back your bottom lip. You had been treated worse than this before. On your earth, you had been a victim of relentless bullying throughout high school and even as you started college. No one here would even guess that you’d been through anything like that. You were so sweet and kind to everybody regardless of what was going on in your life.

“Actually… it’s nothing of importance really, but may I ask you a question?”

Miguel turns away from his work in annoyance and cocks a brow at you.

“Make it quick” You offer up a brighter smile as you begin your question.

“Well, the other spiders told me that it’s your birthday in three days and I was wondering what you would like for a gift?”

Miguel scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Nothing. Don’t get me anything. Now leave. You’ve already been enough of a distraction”

Miguel turns back to his screens and you stand there for a moment, stuck on those words. You realize that Miguel no longer wants to talk so you shift on your feet and turn around.

As you walked back through the halls of spider society, you got lost in your thoughts.

“Don’t get me anything”

Those words replayed in your head and you pursed your lips together. What if you did get him something? Would he get angry and make you return it? If he didn’t want you to get him something then… your face absolutely lit up as you came up with the brightest idea.

What if I make him something?

That’s it! You were going to make this big grumpy spider a gift whether he wanted one or not! Because what kind of person would get rid of a handmade gift? They would have to be heartless to do that. And you knew he wasn’t. As much as he wanted to seem stone-cold and scary, you knew about what he had done when he replaced the version of him that had a daughter. But you also thought that it was a little endearing. Miguel hadn’t just seen an opportunity to live the life he wanted to live, he saw that a little girl was going to suffer because she would no longer have a father. To you, he was anything but heartless.

So that settled it. In 3 days, Miguel O'Hara was going to receive the best handmade gift he had ever been given in his entire life.

#miguel ohara #miguel 2099 #spiderman atsv #spiderman 2099 #miguel o hara #miguel x reader #atsv miguel #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara #minor angst #across the spiderverse #fluffy reader #miguel x you #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #chapter 1

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clementineofmine · 4 months ago

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For the ask game :)

Same Weird Family (the series): 1, 4, 5, & 9

Thanks, @assaily, for the ask! I'm going to answer this based on Same Weird Family, the first in the series because I haven't gotten to talk about that one yet. It's the first fic I wrote (that you know of, lol) so while I now find parts of it a bit rough, it'll always be near and dear to me as it came about due to a visceral need to word vomit about these characters.

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I started this fic a few weeks after S2, and like many I was absolutely inspired by the absolute savagery and increasing desperation of Five in that season. From killing the board to rewinding time, Five did so much for his family that season and none of them knew about it. Plus, the season ended in a new timeline, so the "what's going to happen next?" opportunities were almost endless.

I was also deeply inspired by those who took a stab at post S2 before me, including but definitely not limited to NonLinear Theory for Dummies, The Walls Kept Tumbling Down, Creeping Towards Extinction, and Tangled in the Hanging Tree. If you haven't read these and you like my fic, you're going to love these. They are all angsty and excellent.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I'm gonna call out Allison here, because while she didn't get a lot of focus in this fic, I think she deserves a chance to yell at her brothers more often.

“Well, if we can’t take him to the hospital-” Allison’s words returned them to the practical matters. She looked around as Diego and Luther both shook their heads at her as confirmation. Vanya looked torn but didn’t disagree. Klaus remained focused on Five. “-we’ll have to watch him. We’ll take shifts.” “Oh boy, Five’ll just love that,” Diego scoffed. “He’s unconscious. He’ll deal,” Allison pointed out, closing the discussion. She finished cleaning up Five’s injuries and straightened his clothes. “And if you guys are done with playing pissing contest,“ she gave a pointed look to both Diego and Luther, “you can help me get him upstairs to the bedroom."

5: What part was hardest to write?

Chapters 1-6 and part of 7 came at me fast and furious, but I floundered a bit trying to get through 7 and 8 to the end. I think the writing is a bit awkward and it does make me cringe a bit.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not alternate versions so much as I did a lot of rewriting (I'm a pantser; I try to let my characters speak and sometimes they surprise me)

If you'll permit me to tag onto your ask, I'd also like to answer 3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

I spent a lot of time dissecting Five's internal emotions during this fic, trying to make sense of what drives Five - the anger and frustration and desperation that we saw on screen in S2, and beyond. I'm quite proud of some of it. Here's a snip:

“FIVE!” The shout cleaved him violently from his thoughts. Five blinked, confused, and looked up. His mind registered that his name had possibly been said more than once. Oh, he remembered, almost absently. His siblings were pestering him. Five sighed. All of the energy that had once fueled his rage was gone, drained away as quickly as it had spiraled up. Anger merely simmered now, rather than burned. He no longer felt dizzy, just…tired. In the clarity of hindsight, Five knew he hadn’t ever really been angry at his siblings. Annoyed, sure. Frustrated. But anger was reserved for the fact that Luther and Diego’s questions dragged things out of the little box, things that snagged and pulled at the cracks and exposed his weakness. For the memory of the light fading out of Klaus’s eyes, reaching for Five but still dead before he hit the ground. For the way that Vanya’s body crumpled like a discarded paper doll. Mostly, Five’s anger was directed at himself. For being played, and not figuring out the only possible end to the Handler’s deal until it was much too late. If he had been thinking clearly. If he only… Stop, Five. There’s no good destination down that road. “Five, we just want to help you” the soft voice said. He still didn’t care to pick out its owner. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t bear to keep listening. His siblings had died because of him. Again. And everything that happened afterwards – his survival, his thoughts, his actions – he could give them everything and still would never be enough to make it up to them. Never.

fic ask game

#tua #the umbrella academy #fic ask game #five hargreeves #thanks for the ask!#i wrote it

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wordsandrobots · 8 months ago

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Had a pretty bad day so I'm going to boast about something.

I didn't mention it at the time but posting Chapter 14 of Ragnarök in G Minor on Friday took it past the previous high bar for individual Wishing on Space Hardware fic-length set by The Ares Affair (72,872 words vs 69,850). And this latest story isn't even halfway done. That'll come next week, and take the total word count for the series over 550,000 words.

(I'm hoping to land at about 555,000 because who wouldn't?)

Which is nice, and a good reminder of why, exactly, it took me half a year longer than expected to get Ragnarök finished. Because that did kind of disappoint me, but looking at it like this, it makes sense. There was a *lot* to get through to tie the overarching story together and give everybody some sort of key moment. My problem with writing fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans is that I want to write about ALL of it, and every single character, so it was probably inevitable that it wouldn't conclude with anything less then a doorstop of a fic.

Chapter 14 also marked the end of the character arc I started with the first IBO fic I wrote and I want to write a brief commentary on that. I'm planning a proper 'author's note' essay when the whole series is done, but this . . . this is something more specific.

(Behind a cut because it is talking about endgame stuff for Wishing on Space Hardware, which is already a post-canon fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans, so, yeah. Take heed and beware ye spoilers.)

I can't remember when exactly I decided one of the climaxes was going to be a three-way fight between fun-house mirror versions of the Devil of Tekkadan. Like much of WoSH, it fell out of the ever-expanding churn of ideas IBO left me with. But it's an obvious thing to do: take the legacy of the anime's protagonists and fracture it against itself for the sake of drama. Because whatever else, we are talking about a group of deeply traumatised child soldiers and there remains the potential for a lot of bad things to follow the hopeful ending of the show.

Embi is all the worst parts of Tekkadan. Violent, arrogant, selfish, reckless -- he's the vessel into whom I poured all that and more, to the point of having him actively reject the better parts. Heart-sickened by the death of his brother, the bonds of comradeship fray until he can't stand the sight of his former squad-mates, much less the miraculous returnee from the dead who catalyses the events of WoSH. At the same time, he can't stay at his worst. He struggles with new connections because they threaten to pull him from his grief. He doesn't want to move on. Embi roots himself in an old dream of being like Mikazuki, in the life of a mercenary soldier. Fighting is all he knows and beyond it lies the terrifying prospect of hope and trying. He'd have much preferred to burn up over Mars. At least that would have been a safely familiar ending.

Ordsley suffers the myth of Tekkadan, transformed by people who saw what a group of Martian children 'achieved' and wanted to surpass them. Yet the curse inflicted on him -- for he is of course a werewolf, turning with the influence of the crescent moon -- is to become unwilling legatee of Mikazuki's reality: the beast and the boy, the contradictory dreams of someone trapped by a system that sees people as raw material. For the smart young man at home on the proper side of history, it's a hell of a shock to reckon with the humanity of those condemned for their rebellion. Here, finally joining the survivors on the battlefield they once called home, the pieces click, for at least a moment. There are no easy answers in a world that offers children a choice between killing and starvation, but perhaps in the middle of the fray, it is easier to understand why they call each other friend.

Then there's Shino. The lovely, blood-thirsty himbo I thought it would be interesting to pluck from his canonical fate.

I know when I decided to shatter his prosthetic. The middle of last year, after reading writing by amputees, talking about how they are depicted, how that feeds and feeds off narratives fundamentally disconnected from their lived experiences. Still, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not trying to speak to those experiences. The canon has sci-fi prosthetics. It's detached from the real world. It's just, the ways it also problematises them . . . the way, particularly with the addition of 598 and his cybernetic eye, that dovetails with the propaganda drive from militaries to gift high-tech limb replacements to those mangled in the course of fighting . . . I don't regret pushing myself to dip my toe in those waters.

You see, I wanted to tie together the strands of Shino's trauma. His instinctive reach for quid pro quo in his relationship with Yamagi, finally answered with the truth of everything positive he left behind on his first 'death'. His great bête noire, that failure of his last-ditch effort to save Tekkadan, coming full-circle as he's given another chance, another challenge, met this time with greater experience and maturity, and the knowledge of when not to fight. Third-best no longer, bolstered by all those who taught him what it takes to fly.

And as he gets to prove his mastery -- in ways beyond Embi's suicidal commitment and Ordsley's engineered supremacy -- he also reckons once more with that pernicious belief he is only fit to fight.

There isn't an answer, you know. Those doubts about ourselves, those demons, don't go away even when we let them go. We just learn to carry on regardless. To accept the possibility that we can live anyway, and to stop throwing the best parts of ourselves under the bus in our rush to distance ourselves from the worst.

So the arm is smashed to bits, the fate of the mobile suit pilot, the soldier, the body spent in violence. But Shino finally sees his younger self in a positive light and does what nobody else was able to for Embi: tell him it's OK to leave. Whatever it takes to be happy, even if that's a million miles away. He treats Ordsley as Ordsley, not Mika 2.0, reinforcing Ordsley's newfound balance. Above all, throughout everything, he is not alone. This final fight is spent with Eugene right at Shino's side, backing him up, trusting him. The Ryusei-Go is Tekkadan as a community, the part that truly never wilted. Because the reason Shino can have this moment of catharsis is that he is loved. So many people, building him up, giving him a future.

Everything he would do for them, unhesitatingly, and has, more times than he will ever realise.

I don't know if it's character development, exactly. Honestly, I don't know if the chapter actually encapsulates these things the way I wanted it to. I've read it too many times to see it straight any more and, even with a lovely band of readers I am privileged to have commenting, I'm doubting myself a lot these days. I don't sit well on my laurels, with the things I've completed, the word counts and the tick-marks. I worry it's still not enough. Put a fair of myself in Shino, there.

But I think it's good. I think it came out the way I wanted it to. I think it's the right thing for the story, to take a giant mecha battle, the tragic, inevitable conflict, and flip it around into an act of firefighting. I think I should be proud I got here, even if I never expected to when I first sat down at my keyboard to explain why the hot bisexual anime boy was still alive, actually.

So I'm make a note, to myself, that I did. That I should be proud. That I am, of me, for doing that.

And if you're reading this and you're going to be reading the rest of the story -- I'll just say, Shino himself is going to tell you why his vivid pink robot arm needed to be demolished by a giant sword. There'll be another, eventually (they do have a cyberneticist on speed-dial), but for now, well. You'll see.

#fanfic #writing #more rambling #it's just been a bad couple of weeks #and the howling void where I once had a 650000 word fic series to spend every waking hour thinking about has been biting hard

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the-fandom-crossroads · 8 months ago

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Hoyofair Spring 2024 Creator Links!

Like last Hoyofair I'm making a post linking to the youtube channels of each project shared at hoyofair! Be sure to follow the creators and support their main channels so they can keep making amazing projects like these!

Galactic Abyss Chronicles - 神·潜行瞬杀 and others

I actually found the director, head animator, and head modeler on Bilibili! Here Real proud of myself because he has no accounts on the western internet. He hasn't posted the full short on his account yet but he does have a fananimation for the Apex Legends X FFVII Rebirth collab.

From what I can tell this is also the first Genshin related animation he's done which is cool. The rest of the creators seem to be from the CN fandom as well although I could not find their Bilibili's from a quick search

Ranked DayCare - by No_Tables

Their first Hoyo short was at Hoyofair 2023. So it's great to see them back with a new bit. Now with Klee!

Moonlit Bamboo Forest - Passion Paris

So this is apparently an Academy Award winning Animation studio!? Passion Pictures is the studios name and the Paris branch animated this short. We have legit 2D animation studios submitting Shorts to Hoyofair now. Wow!

Needless to say this was the short with the most unique animation style. And one of my top favorites this year.

Trial by Combat - ???

So this one seems to be just a collab of a bunch of animators. Like I can't find the project manager online (too generic a name for google). The head animator has a twitter but Twitter changed at somepoint where it won't let me view a direct link to someones profile without being logged in. I ain't creating a twitter for this rabbit hole. his username is rabbitoldman if you want to look him up. But he hasn't made any tweets with the word genshin as far as google's concerned.

I just can't find one sorry.

Progenitor: The Surface - dillongoo

Ex- RWBY animator returns with episode 3 of his "if genshin was a cyberpunk anime" series. The first two episodes hit so hard and the 3rd episode does not disappoint!

youtube

Realm of Faith: Live Actually - Type Zero Inc

Another legit animation studio for the animation. They don't have a youtube so i don't know if they'll ever upload the full version anywhere other than hoyofair.

But! The two songs have been posted on the singers youtubes with longer versions!

majiko(Furina), 4s4ki(Lumine), Wolpis Carter(Venti)

youtube

Chogakusei (Wriothesley), Amatsuki (Childe), 96Neko (Arlecchino)

youtube

Domain 404 - LucHD

Their first and only other Hoyofair short was shown over a year ago at hoyofair 2022. But Luc has returned with a full 4 minute short filled with Spiral Abyss and other meta in jokes. Diluc out here maining a C6 Bennett lol.

youtube

TitanSlayers: Edge of Oblivion - Kieru

Kieru once again turns in an amazing action packed animation. The last one was the Persona spoof with Lyney and Lynette. But my favorite of theirs is Cyno vs Anubis and the Gods

Shenhe Awaken - Rhinocore

They made a previous short for Hoyofair but that one was never posted to a youtube channel other than hoyofair. So I'm going to assume they don't have a youtube and this one is just going to say on Hoyofair as well.

---

And that's all the Creators from this Hoyofair! It was less creators than the winter one but I feel like that might be because multiple shorts are nearly 10 minutes.

But which one was your favorite? Do you like the change to less but longer shorts? Or do you wish they went back to more shorts 2-5 minutes long? Let me know in the tags! And be sure to follow all these guys on their youtube's so you can see the teaser trailers they post a few days before each Hoyofair.

#Youtube #hoyofair #hoyofair 2024 #genshin #genshin impact #genshin fanart #genshin creators #douglimemes

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treepan0 · 17 days ago

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okay, okay since it's invading my brain:

Random Idea Transformers & Dragonball crossover (here me out it actually works really well for both fandoms):

starting out with the beastwars one first I have a pretty simple idea, Tarantulas opens a portal and has Waspinator go through as a test. (this is normal albeit more obscure TF shenanigans really) I'm continuing under read more, this maybe a bit long.

unfortunately knowing Waspinators abysmal luck, the portal closes behind him and he's stuck in the crossfire of a fight. (Waspinator is one of the TF equivalents of Yamcha, the universe uses him as a chew toy pretty much)

thankfully however he still has that one ability Starscream left behind after possessing him, so it does not matter if he's exploded, punched an burned he will not die. (yes this is an actual detail from the specific series I pulled from, don't worry Waspinators too incompetent to cause any problems)

so from there the focus would be on the friendships he makes in this world that's completely foreign to him, there's so much potential shock between Waspinator and the armored squadron. to list a few:

how jobs were determined on old cybertron, that one scene from revenge of Cooler where he scolds Salza rather than threatening his life (why I feel like armored squadron is more amusing than say the Frieza force, and I couldn't see him teaming up with the Z fighters either), the idea of purely organic beings transforming

Poor Waspinator would be like: "Wait you're not going to kill me for messing up, I can go and try again without having my life threatened?" it would be so adorable my gosh

he'd probably be seen as a "pet" or an underling that's strictly an attendant, not a fighter but he's definitely not the type to be bothered by it.

Waspinator gets blown up on the daily basis in canon and hates it, as long as he can be happy and not have his happiness ripped from him so quickly, Waspinator would be on board without complaint

alternatively I have a TFA version as well:

Waspinator blowing up again and ending up somewhere completely unfamiliar, and he's forced to piece himself together again. this ones a lot more conflict filled with everything he's gone through, they would really have to coax into it.

finally having basic accommodations again: food, shelter, warmth etc. from an outsider looking in Waspinator would probably look like a starving animal being fed for the first time in a long time, defending his food like they would take it away at any moment.

he's skittish and has a habit of getting aggressive when cornered, it takes much longer to earn his trust than his beastwars counterpart. once his trust is earned however his attitude has changed a bit, he's still a little odd but he's very determined to prove himself, as if he feels a need to earn or repay for letting him stay.

he talks about hating jail a lot, hating small spaces, etc. it makes a lot of people a little worried, until he eventually tells them the heartbreaking truth. the fact he was falsely accused of a crime and locked away for so long, the horrors he went through, escaping and fending for himself from then on.

there's a lot of damage but it takes a long time to earn his trust because of it, healing would likely take a long time as well. Imagine just giving your employee a pat on the back for a job well done, and he breaks down crying at the touch and praise aughhhhhhh

honestly I kind of like this one a little more, it hurts a little but like he's getting what he needed for once. I am all for Wasp | Waspinator x Happiness here to be honest

#dragon ball #dbz #dragon ball z #transformers #transformers beast wars #transformers animated #tfa wasp #waspinator #dbz cooler #crossover #crossover idea

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game-boy-pocket · 1 year ago

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Well, today I beat the Super Mario RPG remake. Only 4 days did it take, but i'm a veteran who knows this game very well and I was using almost every moment of free time I had to play. Not that i'm saying less experienced people are in for a 100 hour game, it's a very short game for an RPG... but I kind of like that it's not overly long. If any series can get away with being a short RPG, it'd be Mario.

I have almost no complaints with this. There's a few changes I don't care for, but none that are significant enough for me to care that much about.... except for two things...

Enemies that know sleep abilities really love to spam them, and it annoyingly reactivates the sleep status. Yeah there's accessories that prevent sleep, but I don't always know when these enemies are going to have these abilities, and they didn't spam them so much in the originals anyway.

The other one is the fight against the boss, Boomer. There's frame rate issues here that throw off the timed hits. I couldn't get ANY timed hits right because of the lag.

Those are the only real significant blemishes on the game. But they're not significant enough for this to not be the definitive way to play the game for me ( I still might pop in the SNES version once in a while for shits and giggles, but this is better in almost every way )

I will say, this remake solved one problem I had with the original. Once I got Bowser and Peach in my party, I almost never switched Mallow or Geno back in. I liked them. But Bowser was a powerhouse and Peach was an OP healer. There were only three active party members, and no switching out mid battle. Because of that, the only time i've ever beat SMRPG playing mostly as Mario Mallow and Geno was me forcing myself to do it as a self imposed challenge run.

Well this game feels like it buffed both Mallow and Geno, or in Geno's case, fixed him so that his special attacks actually functioned as intended. It gave Mallow a purpose of finding out weaknesses and reistences, as well as getting completed entries in the monster log book. The triple specials are also different for every party combination, and if one party member falls in battle, or is put to sleep, or just because you feel like it, they can be swapped out in mid battle. So for once, I was actually using my whole party, and even swapping out strategically so I could buff someone with Geno's boost, or swapping in both Mallow and Peach to do a super healing move on specific turns, it was great, it feels like this is how the game should have worked to begin with.

Now it might sound like this change makes things a bit too easy... well first of all, let's not kid ourselves, Super Mario RPG is a very easy game, especially if you know what you're doing, and even if you don't grind... second of all, this game imposes limits on recovery items you can carry, so only six revival items instead of filling your whole inventory with them. They also introduce the occasional special enemy that provides more challenge and a frog coin on defeat... that's another issue addressed because Frog Coins were way too tough to come by. They're still rare in this game, but you no longer have to grind ridiculous jumping challenges to get them.

This remake is very faithful, but every mechanical change they made is more than welcome in my eyes.

I've taken a little peek at the post game, emphasis on little, I really don't know what all is in store for me, but I have a general idea of how it's going to go... how they've implemented it seems very clever, doesn't seem to step on the toes of the ending much. But it looks like it's going to be a hell of a lot tougher than the main game, so I may need to do some level grinding. I'm just glad there's still some things to do, because, and I know i've said this with almost every major release lately, i'm not ready to be done playing.

It feels so fucking good to be a fan of Mario RPG right now. I do hope the Thousand Year Door remake makes Paper Mario fans feel similarly happy. I still think it's an odd choice not to remake the N64 game first but the fans didn't campaign for that now did they? Here's hoping Mario and Luigi RPG fans have something to look forward to as well.

That's it for now, maybe i'll give further thoughts when I beat the post game, but this covers most of the important stuff I think.

#pocket plays #super mario rpg

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that-birdy-chick · 4 months ago

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So a litte s7 mcdanno ramble incoming

Okay so as much as I've been loving s7 so far, and despite how grateful I am for all the mcdanno moments we got,

I have to ask, is it just me or is Danny a lot more distant and standoffish with Steve?

Don't get me wrong I love their dynamic this season a lot more than in the two previous ones, but something feels strange?

But it's not the entire time?

Let me give you an example:

at the start of the season, the boys finally have that somewhat rocky but much needed return to their old heart to hearts and they say their casual "I love you's" and it's great!

Steve listens to Danny, doesn't get himself killed and Danny's genuinely happy for the first time in what feels like two seasons. Everythings great!

this happy mood keeps mostly continuing in the next episode, when they're running around with the MI6 James bond dude, they have their little "let's go to London, Rachel and I went their once" "no, I don't want you to be sad:(" "well, that's why you're gonna be there to make me happy, Steve" talk (heavily paraphrasing here) and it's still great! I love it!

Their still bantering but it feels like they're both making an effort to show the other how much they love and appreciate each other (romantic, platonic or otherwise)

but then after this Steve seemingly stays the calmer more emotion matured version of himself and actively seems to make an effort to be sweet and thoughtful most of the time, but Danny doesn't?

And that feels like an active choice here? But one I don't really understand yet?

Like this whole time I thought their arguing this season felt less toxic than before because both where making an effort, but after ep 2 it's always Steve that seems to be "the more reasonable one" that meets Danny half way, and is all sweet and understanding and as a response Danny just stays standoffish and really acts like a dick most of the time??

Also somewhere around the middle Danny stops saying "I love you" back to steve? And I just think that's more than a little odd, considering he had no hesitations saying it throughout half the series and even at the start of the same season?! on the same note, what was up with Steve adding that very forced sounding "bro" after his "I love you" in ep 18?? That felt beyond weird

I just don't get the angle here?! I don't really think they were trying to make it "less gay" only because it be kinda late for that, considering they had no problem saying it before or after similar situations?

So my only theory is that it was intentionally done to show that something maybe going on with Danny?

He has been behaving mostly like a dick towards Steve this season which isn't really news but I guess it just makes him look really bad in comparison if Steve doesn't rise to the same level of "assholery" anymore, it's starting to feel really out of character tho how in basically every interaction now when Steve does something nice for Danny, Danny doesn't even say thank you?

It's just not like him and the longer the season goes on the worse it seems to get?

Maybe this is all ment to be about Danny slowly distancing himself because of his retirement plans? But that still doesn't feel right to me?

Idk maybe I'm overreacting a little because despite it all Danny's still my little favorite dude, but the way he's writen this season just doesn't sit right with me right now

#kind of?#meta?#it's more a ramble but oh well #danny danno williams #steve mcgarrett #hawaii five 0 spoilers #hawaii 50 #s7 ep 1 #7x02 #7x01 #7x18 #trouble in paradise #Danny acting out of character #danny williams #h50 #mcdanno #Season 7 #s7

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heartofstanding · 1 year ago

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Rewatching old favourite crime dramas...

I just finished rewatching Vera up to Series 9, am in the middle of a rewatch of Death in Paradise and have started rewatching Wallander as well and am having some thoughts so I'd thought I'd write a post instead of just stewing in these thoughts.

Vera

I love her, your honour.

I love Vera, I love the location and how it's so beautifully shot, I love the slightly gothic edge to the mysteries. Most memorable episodes for me are "The Crow Trap" and "The Deer Hunters". It holds up really well too - sometimes I'll rewatch a crime drama that I once loved and find myself getting increasingly intolerant of the way it deploys certain tropes, like the tortured brooding lead detective with anger issues and/or a tragic backstory or "internal investigations are bad actually" or "it's fine for the lead detective to lose his temper and almost murder someone" which spoiled Waking the Dead and The Inspector Lynley Mysteries for me (the latter in the final seasons, mostly). Vera lacks most of that kind of drama. Vera is, in a way, a tortured, brooding detective but it never takes over the story.

One thing I did pick up on is that while I don't really have any preference for Aiden or Joe as Vera's offsider, I do miss the way that Joe's character opened up different storylines. We don't get nearly as much about Aiden's family and home life as we do about Joe's, and we got more about Vera's past and private life with Joe, like the subplots about her half-sister and her angina. I do feel cheated that Joe's exit happened off-screen, between series, but apparently he's coming back in Series 13?

(n.b. I finished at Series 9 because I don't have Series 10 on DVD, I started Series 11 but it was a bit too fresh in my mind and Series 12 isn't out on DVD yet.)

Death In Paradise

This isn't the first rewatch of the show I've done (the early seasons I've rewatched multiple times, they're very familiar and I can remember whodunnit) but I haven't watched any of the newer seasons since Series 8, except for a couple of episodes (I watched the one with Sam West and the one where Camille came back). I'm halfway through Series 9 at the moment so officially this is no longer a rewatch but a first-time watch.

It's interesting to see how my opinions have changed. I still think the show was strongest in relation to its core concept in Series 1 and 2. You can really tell the way they were planning the show to unfold had they managed to hold onto Ben Miller as Richard and Sara Martins as Camille, and I do really like that version of the show. But they didn't and the show had to change and that's fine. I used to be very fond of Humphrey but I found him painful in the rewatch - he hits my second-hand embarrassment squick much too hard and his unrequited love for Camille was... ah, not good? I was glad to see him go, tbh. Perhaps because of that, I appreciated Jack a whole lot more - I previously felt he didn't really have much of a character beyond "rambling Irishman" but that is really unfair. I just watched his last episode and I'm very sad to see him - I also felt his ending felt a bit... contrary to the character and the way he threw himself into island life, becoming part of the community in a way neither Richard and Humphrey never did. Neville seems a bit of a return to Richard, in that he doesn't want to be on the island, except by making him have so many medical issues, it really feels like that yeah, he really shouldn't be there.

Have been pondering how awesome it'd be if the next Death in Paradise detective is in the model of Vera.

Wallander

I needed something to watch in the space where I normally watched Vera and I remembered how I was going to try and watch some things in Swedish in effort to help myself learn Swedish better (I'm doing the Duolingo course, it's not going well), and well, this isn't in Swedish but it's set in Sweden so it might just do for now. I went... slightly insane* over it in my first and only watch but I thought I was safe now.

Yeah, well that happened again.

The thing I really like about it is Tom Hiddleston's face the way in which it spends a fair amount time of the affects of coming face-to-face with violent, brutal crime. How intensely Wallander feels everything, how involved he gets, and how all of that just means he's held at a remove from his family, friends and co-workers. He has this remarkable empathy that keeps him cut off from them.

It's also beautifully shot and I'm obsessed with the title credits.

Parts of it hold up fairly well - I feel "Faceless Killers" is still very pertinent to today, though I suspect there would a bit less... "both sidesing" within the main cast. Parts of it do not hold up well, like "One Step Behind" which, uh, is kinda extremely transphobic in a way that does not refute the transphobia.

The language and accent choices throw me occasionally in this rewatch. I think what they ended up going for is the translation trope/convention where the characters are not actually speaking English but are actually speaking Swedish, we just hear them in English, and a similar logic applies with the British vs. Swedish accents. When we see text, it's in Swedish, not English, which tends to confirm my hypothesis. Given the unlikelihood of the BBC doing the series in Swedish and the perils of getting the cast to put on an accent (no one wants to accidentally invoke the Swedish Chef in a brooding crime drama), I think this "they're speaking Swedish, we just hear it as English" thing works pretty well. But there still moments where it pulls me out of the story because the dialogue sounds so terribly British.

Random note: the cast of the first episode is like, full of pretty damn famous people? Obviously, there's Kenneth Branagh and a pre-Loki Tom Hiddleston as series regulars. Plus there's Nicholas Hoult and Rebecca Ferguson in guest roles. There's also a lot of people who are the sort of people you know for turning up in British TV shows, like Sarah Smart and Sophie Stanton (who, most memorably for me, was Falstaff and Caliban in the Donmar Warehouse's Henry IV and The Tempest).

Also, this reflection from when I first watched the show is still true. I thought I was over my Hiddleston phase but he's so fucking pretty in this show. It's distracting. It's literally sir, sir, sir, I am trying to watch Kenneth Branagh have a mental breakdown while solving crime in Sweden here. Take your cheekbones and go somewhere else.

Which he does at the end of Series 2 and then I miss him. Obviously, it doesn't impact the series that much - I enjoyed Series 3 and 4, his character isn't important to the story and isn't that interesting. But I liked the dynamics of the team and I dislike losing that (we also lose Lisa at the same time, and Ann-Britt only sticks around for a bit longer before she's gone too). I'm sad we lose that. I'm also a depraved whump lover and frankly think it was a wasted opportunity. Send Magnus off horribly (as Ann-Britt and Svedberg were sent off) and let Wallander writhe and wallow around in the guilt and grief. Also, I am completely shallow and didn't really want Hiddleston to take his cheekbones and go.

* I, uh, may have written an 87k word thing that's 3/4 whumpy fanfic and 1/4 origfic because it was November and I was doing NaNoWriMo and I was too hyped up to research and too scared to commit fully to the fanfic. I've reread and I feel like it holds up ok. I think the Kurt voice is good, as is the "gets too invested without being able to show it" thing. I am experiencing the urge to turn it into proper fanfic. I need to see how S2 ends and S3 begins but it could even work well as a "and that's where Magnus went" fic. But I don't think there's a fandom for the show outside of the migratory Hiddleston smut fandom.

That last point is one of those things with British crime dramas. It's quite common for some of the regular cast to leave between series and you might get a throwaway line about why they're no longer there but there's no proper send-off, no real resolution for the character, and sometimes there's no explanation. It happened in Vera, Death in Paradise, Wallander, Waking the Dead, and probably more than I just can't think of. I understand why it happens but it does make for frustrating storytelling.

The most egregious is Joe leaving Vera - he was the most important character after her! We were invested in his relationship with his family! The relationship between him and Vera was so paramount to the series! And he just disappears between series and his departure explained in a line about a "big promotion". Sure, this ties up one of the parts of his storyline quickly but there's no scene to say goodbye to him, no sense of closure. He's just gone.

Both Vera and Wallander are based on novels by Ann Cleeves and Henning Mankell. I've read a few novels of both series (and Cleeves's Shetland series) and I have to say... I feel the TV series really elevate them. With Wallander, maybe it's a case of a bad translation or something else but it seemed to lack something - perhaps the prose felt too simplistic or too blunt? With Cleeves, I think it's a case of has all the right elements, just doesn't have the ability to take it to the next level... I find I enjoy her novels more when I haven't seen their TV adaptation or are significantly different, but they're still not novels that I have to read. I wish the Shetland series had stuck with adapting Cleeves' novels because I'm obsessed with their first/second series (it was released as one series in Australia) which were based on the Cleeves novels, and I feel like the Shetland novels that weren't adapted would make excellent TV.

There are also four Death In Paradise spin-off novels that feature Richard - I've only read two of them and only really remember the first, which was OK - not great, not as fun as the show but still fun. It's nice to get more Richard but it comes with a trade off: Camille, Dwayne and Fidel play much, much, much smaller roles than they do in the TV series.

#text posts #not going to tag the series since i don't want them in the tag

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