#but hey! iam back and ready to post angst

[03jyh23]

│hi my lovely people!!! i'm not even sure if you guys still remember me since my hiatus lasted longer than i expected, but summer vacation is nearly coming to an end for me, and that means i'll be more active. a few days ago, for the first time in a long while, i opened my laptop and wrote a short drabble, and it ignited something in me.

i'm happy to be back in a place where i find writing joyful. i'm happy that, once again, it helps me with my emotions rather than complicating them.

during the time i took off, i created many beautiful memories and did things my heart had longed for. i went to a 6-day music festival and spent 7 nights in a tent—something i’d never done before! then, i spent a lot of time with a friend who lives in another country but came back for a holiday, my brother got married, and i visited my mom and grandma with my best friend. so i got the break i needed. and my aniteez merch arrived!!!

as usual, you can expect some angst soon, along with the promised enamored smut version! while finding our way back will remain on hold, i hope you'll stick around for some drabbles and new parts of goes to waste series. but don’t worry, jongho and nari will have their story written and completed. i promise.

i wanted to personally thank my lovely mutuals, @freyaphoria, for messaging me and making me feel needed and special. thank you for reaching out—it truly helped me overcome my internal block. and of course, my lovely JJ aka @justsomekpopstuff, seeing your sweet inboxes and mentions in tag games made me feel like there’s still someone remembering me and waiting for me on here. and @vcutparis, for loving 2 soon so much that it inspired me to start writing another hongjoong angst (the drabble i mentioned before) ♡

i’m really excited to be back and share more stories with all of you. thank you so much for your love and support, it truly means the world to me. i hope you’ll enjoy what’s coming next!

love you, mon! ♡

(some of my favorite sky pictures i took)

[blkmxrvel]

To Kree or Not To Kree

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Romanoff!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x LittleSister!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (brief but there!)

Words: 2222

Request: May I please request a Carol Danvers x fem!reader where the reader is really affectionate, but Carol isn’t really cuddly because she’s not used to physical contact? Like, the reader really always wants to kiss/hug Carol but doesn’t cuz she doesn’t want to make Carol uncomfortable? But when Carol initates small bits of affection, like hand holding, the reader gets really happy, and it kinda makes Carol guilty cuz C feels like she doesn’t give R enough love. Sorry if this is confusing I❤u!!!

Summary: You want touch, Carol doesn’t. Carol loves you, you love Carol more. Natasha stands up for her little sister.

Warnings: Carol is a bit of an asshole but means no harm, Natasha is a #mamabear. Angst-ish, but fluffy nonetheless.

A/N: what????? madi managed to post a request???? bitch ik! im sorry it’s taken me so long I was in a bit of a rut there! but iam back and I really like this one. I sorta kinda tried a new writing style? If yall like it lmk. Enjoy!

Everyone says opposites attract, and with you and Carol, it’s quite obvious.

You’re the kind of person who thrives off of human contact and affection. You love anything that involves contact, hugging, holding hands, high fives, cuddling, the whole 9 yards. It’s what gave you the euphoric feeling that everyone craves.

Carol is literally the exact opposite. She stays away from physical contact as much as possible

She doesnt understand the need for it, she wants her space. She doesnt need to….interlock fingers with yours to prove that she loves you. She may have been human, but technically, her wiring was still Kree.

And do you really think they allowed measly… mortal things like hugging and cuddling to slide?

…

That’s what I thought.

You never made a big deal out of it, though. You knew that was just Carol, and you didn’t wanna be the kind of girlfriend that always nags and is never satisfied.

Don’t get me wrong. You’ve tried. Like that once time at the pier.

It was date night, you and carol, and Natasha and Wanda. It was group date:movie on the beach followed by street food and a walk on the pier.

“Group photo!” Everyone huddled together as Natasha stretched her arms to hey everyone in the photo.

You stood by your girlfriend smiling wide, you took a regular photo and then a silly one. You saw Wanda stand on her tiptoes to kiss Natasha on her cheek, so you figured you would do the same to Carol.

I mean…Natasha sure as hell got a kick out of it. And you and Carol were just as much in love and they were.

So, standing on your toes when Natasha went to take another picture, you pressed your lips to Carol eyes.

Big mistake.

Carol froze up, you could’ve sworn she was about to have a seizure with how tense her body got.

“You alright?” Thinking that you crossed a boundary.

“Yeah, Babe. I’m fine.”

You brushed it off and told yourself you were overthinking.

But you weren’t.

For the rest of the night, Carol basically avoided any contact with you, she didnt hold your hand, kiss you on your forehead. None of it.

You chalked it up to her maybe not being comfortable with PDA. You could get with that, I mean…it makes sense. She grew up in a time where people weren’t so open about two women loving each other, and a lot of people today still aren’t it made sense.

But then….Carol not only didn’t show you affection outside, but inside as well.

Everytime you initiated a cuddle session, she would always make some lame excuse “oh, it’s too hot” or “you’re crushing my bladder baby” and she would always play it off.

That happened a lot, like a lot, a lot.

So eventually, you let it go. You didn’t try to hug her, or hold her when she had a bad day. You knew she wasn’t going to hold up or rub your back if you came back from a particularly bad mission that left you with a nightmare. You knew that you weren’t ever going to have that. But you loved Carol, so you were able to deal.

Not being able to be intimate (not sexually) with the one person you loved most took a toll on you, of course it did.

Everyone could see it, especially Natasha.

Nat was your big sister, she was always the one who noticed even the smallest bit of a change in you.

So you bet your bottom dollar that Natasha heard the sigh you let out when she hugged you longer than usual.

This past mission was….brutal, to say the least. You had made it out by the skin of your teeth, broken toe and bruises and scratches everywhere, but alive nonetheless.

Of course, Carol was relieved that you were alive…and she told you that. But sometimes actions speak louder than words. All she gave you was a little smile and peck on the lips. There was no bruising kiss, bone crushing hug. But, you were used to it.

Natasha though, quite the opposite.

As soon as she saw you, her little sister, walk through the compound doors, she gave you the biggest hug.

All you could do was hug back, let out the biggest sigh, and with that came tears. It had been so long since you’d been hugged so passionately. Since someone’s love for you was shown through body movements and physical contact.

Natasha noticed how you were reluctant to pull away, and how when you did. You looked drained, albeit refreshed.

She knew the mission was tough but this was something else. She knew how you looked when it’d been awhile without physical reassurance.

“When was the last time Carol gave you a hug? Held you? Anything?”

And when you couldn’t give a solid answer let alone a recent one, Natasha was ready to rip off a head. You calmed her down of course, saying how it was okay, but She wasn’t having it.

“Why don’t you just tell her how much hugging and affection means to you? You don’t deserve this.” Natasha huffed and crossed her eyes, eyes sad eyes looking into yours.

“Because it’s who she is, Nat.” You tried to explain. “She doesn’t do hugs or late night cuddles. That’s just her.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Yeah? Well you do hugs, and kisses and holding hands and late night cuddles. That’s just who you are. Why are you the only sacrificing and making changes to who you are, when she’s living fine and dandy?” She threw her hands up, eyes wide and expectant with anger.

“Why is she perfectly sane and you’re losing your mind, hell yourself? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”

Natasha was pissed yes, but it was coming from a place of love. And you knew you needed to hear it.

“I- I don’t know. I just love her and I didn’t wanna make her uncomfortable.”

She sighed. Placing her hands on your arms, rubbing up and down. You smiled. “That’s not love, Y/N/N. You can love Carol all you want, but you don’t love yourself if you’re willing to allow yourself to be hurt like this.”

Natasha was right, she knew that. And she also knew that you weren’t going to say anything to Carol directly. So she took upon herself, as she should.

You slept in between Natasha and Wanda that night. Sandwiched in between your two favorite people family members. Don't…. Don’t tell Tony that.

.

The next morning, Carol jumped up at the sound of banging against her door. It was still dark outside, she didn’t even hear birds chirping yet. Who in the world could that be?

“I don’t care if your decent or not Danvers, I’m coming in.”

The door opened and in walked Natasha romanoff, still in her pajamas, but a wicked look on her face. She sat in the chair facing Carol’s bed, faced hardened and eyes raging.

“Nat what the-”

“We need to talk about Y/N.”

Carol’s eyes widened, sitting up immediately. “I- Is she alright?”

“No, thanks to you.” Natasha raised her eyebrows, attitude spewing from her body language. Spicy.

“What are you talking about?” Carol rubbed her eyes, it was too early to be dealing with yelling and accusations.

“Why haven’t you hugged her? Or kissed her? Or held her after her worst missions? Or told her it was going to be alright when she wakes up screaming from nightmares? Because I’m sure she does. We all do. But unlike Y/N, we have someone to calm us down and make is feel safe? Do you even love her?”

Carol scrunched her eyebrows up at that. “Of course I love her why are you asking that?”

“Are you sure?” Natasha tilted her head. “Because if you did, you would see how tired and sad she looks. How all she wants is a hug and kiss everyone once and a while from her girlfriend! How she just wants to hold your hand when you pass through crowds because they make her nervous and she doesnt want to get lost!”

Carol stuttered. What was Natasha talking about?

“She wants to feel loved. Because actions speak damn louder than words. And you telling Y/N that you love her means nothing if she doesn’t feel it.”

Natasha is pacing around the room now, rage fueling her words. This was for her sister.

“God. She sacrificed the one thing that grounds her the most because you are ‘comfortable’ with physical contact.” Air quotes. “Well too damn bad, Danvers. Sometimes we gotta feel uncomfortable to make the one we love comfortable. And it isn’t even unreasonable, its human! And before you spew that Kree bullshit at me, you have your memories back, and all the feelings that come with it. You know what it’s like. Y/N hasn’t been hugged or held in weeks. She thrives on that. That’s why she probably almost died! Because she just couldn’t think, her body didn’t have enough energy, enough…love to get out of their sooner.” Natasha wiped her eyes, red and puffy eyes before looking at her sisters girlfriend. Her voice cracked all through her rampant speech.

“So before you say, you love her. Do you actions show it? She may be here now, might he huffing it and powering through. But a person can only handle so much before they break. And I’ll be damned if I let you break my sister. So shape up, or ship out, Danvers. My sister comes first.”

And with that…Natasha was gone.

Wow.

Carol just sat in her bed, hair still messy and eyes red and teary.

What kind of girlfriend was she? Natasha was 100% right. She didnt give you enough love, and she feels like a complete ass for not caring. She knew what she needed to do.

The rest of the day went as Normal. You had no idea about the whole Natasha/Carol debacle. And it stayed that way.

You woke up, in a….surprisingly not empty bed. Natasha and Wanda were at your sides, trying to hold in their giggles as they watched TV to not wake you.

Spoiler alert: didnt work.

Natasha asked how you’re feeling, to which you said “better than ever.” They both frowned at that answer. They didn’t even want to ask when was the last time you and Carol slept in the same bed.

You all went your separate ways. It was Sunday, you had training and a debriefing to prepare yourself for. But you needed to shower first. Mentally, you were refreshed, being squished because two bodies and snug like a bug in a rug really gave your mind a boost.

You were sad that it wasn’t Carol on either side of you, but you didn’t dwell too much on it. Not a good idea to think too much.

You walked towards your room, turning the knob to get your things to shower.

You nearly jumped when you saw a disheveled Carol on your bed. Red eyes and a look of pure guilt when she saw you.

“Carol, is everything alright?” She stood up and walked over to you. She played with her hands as she tried to find the right words.

“I just- I.” You reached out to place your hands onto Carol’s, immediately pulling your hands back when you registered just who was standing in front of you.

Carol broke at that. Tears now freely flowing from her eyes as she covered them with her hands.

“You’re scaring me, Car. What’s wrong?” She pulled her hands down and stared at you, the tears never stopping.

Suddenly, you felt yourself being pulled forward and warm, strong arms coming around your waist.

It was an odd feeling, a new one, and it took you a minute, but then you realized.

This is a hug, Carol is hugging you. Oh my god. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

You wrapped your arms around Carol’s middle, squeezing tightly as you laid your head on her chest. She squeezed harder, still crying, while words fell from her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been the worst girlfriend ever. I put myself before you and I let you not put yourself first. I should’ve hugged you everyday, and kissed you on your forehead when you were sleepy and- and held your hand when were in crowds and let you lay on me when you were scared. I’m so sorry. You’re only human and I denied you of the one thing you needed most. Please forgive me.”

You didn’t let go of Carol, or say anything else. You just squeezed harder, your arms coming to wrapped around her neck, as she pulled your body even closer.

Tears sprang to your eyes when you felt her lips press to your forehead.

Was this a dream?

“This was all you wanted and I never gave it to you. You never go without it again I promise, I love you. I love you and I’m gonna show you. No more Kree Carol, Human Carol from now on.”

You placed a kissed on Carol’s neck, smiling when she sighed in relief.

This was all you wanted, and you finally got it. You’re only human.

[fandomimaginesftw]

An Old Flame (Part Six)

Summary: Y/N is a hunter. She always has been, and she knows that she always will be. Headstrong, fierce, and takes no bullshit is the best way to describe her. A case in Ohio leads her to a nest of vampires, but that’s not all. As she’s investigating, she runs into a pain from her past, the one and only Dean Winchester. The man that ruined her, left her to trust no one ever again. When Dean sees her again, he feels like he’s alive again, and he’ll do anything to get her back. Will she fall back into old habits or will she stand her ground?

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven

Pairing: SLOW BURN! Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,883

Warnings: Violence, mentions of blood, angst, swearing, mentions of smut

A/N: Two updates in one day? Don’t say I don’t love you guys! ^-^ Alright, so, just a heads up, next chapter is where their relationship really takes a turn. Hang in there, you’ll get your kiss and stuff very very soon!

Next part will be posted tomorrow at noon (Central Time Zone)

Forever Tags: @reigns420​  @onemorefanblog​  @carryonmyswansong​  @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues  

SPN Tags: @tacklesackles  @iam-a-cutiepie  @mogaruke  @akshi8278  

An Old Flame Tag List:  @p3nnyforyourth0ughts​  @jenspadwincest​  @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car  @emilypkuzu​​  @happygirl62304

He had been watching you for the past few minutes, just marveling at your beauty as you slept. Your eyes were closed, your lashes natural curl making them look so long. Your lips were a work of art, and it drove him crazy that he couldn’t press his lips against them anymore. You looked so peaceful as you slept, and literally all he could think about was what you whispered to him last night when you thought he was asleep. You still loved him, and it made him feel like he actually had a chance to have you in his arms again. You two had shared a pretty intimate moment the day before, and he wanted to figure out what to do to act on it in a way that wouldn't run you off again. As his eyes looked over you lovingly, he wondered what you were dreaming about. It must have been good, since you had a faint smile on those lips of yours.

Little did he know that your dream was full of lust and sin. Hands touching places that hadn’t been touched in so long, breaths that were shallow and needy, lips that were kissing anything they could reach. It seemed so real, like you could actually feel your hands tugging at his hair and his fingers relieving the aching tension between your legs. It felt so good and you found yourself wishing that it was really happening. It had been so long since anyone had touched you, so long since Dean had touched you. A moan slipped through your lips, and you opened your eyes, realizing it was all dream. You had hoped you didn't moan out loud since Dean was still lying there next to you.

You glanced over at him, your eyes meeting his already opened ones. The way he was laying there made you think that he had been like that for a while. Which, to you, meant that he had been watching you sleeping. He had a look on his face like he was thinking deeply about something, and you really hoped you didn’t moan out loud. Last thing you needed him to know was that you wanted him again. Ached for him, even. He got this little smile on his face, and it melted your heart. You returned it, then got out of the bed to go take a shower. When you closed the bathroom door, you sighed and leaned against it. You needed to get past this, get your head in the game. If you didn't something worse would probably happen, worse than the day before. You shook your head, starting to collect yourself.

Seeing you in his Henley shirt brought back a lot of memories for Dean, as it did for you. He grinned softly, tucking his arms behind his head as he let those memories flood back into his head. He tried not to think about them too much, but you changed everything for him the night before with those words you thought he couldn’t hear. They made him feel like he could actually make things better, like he could somehow repair the broken things between you two. He knew that he really messed up two years ago, but he had time to think about it and think about how he could possibly fix things.

His thoughts were cut short by Sam throwing his bag on top of his older brother. Dean jumped, looking up at his brother with a confused and irritated look. He sat up, giving him the what for with no words. Sam knew they you two had something going on between you two. He didn't think that after everything you two would already be back together, but he didn’t exactly care at the moment. He was upset that you had gotten so distracted yesterday that you got attacked. And he knew that you were distracted because you’ve never been hurt on a hunt as long as he’s known you. He gave Dean a serious look, sitting on the edge of the bed next to his older brother.

“Dean, I know that this is probably weird and exciting, but I really need you two to get your shit together. Don’t think I don’t notice those looks you guys share, or how you are quick to scramble away when I walk in. I’ve seen this before, and I want you guys to be happy. I just really need you guys to keep it in your pants until we’re done with this job, okay?” Sam sighed, and Dean nodded. He understood why his little brother was so worried, Dean would feel the same way if roles were reversed. As Dean nodded and promised, you walked back out of the bathroom, ready for business. You had tied your hair up into a bun, and you found places for all of your weapons. Your mind was cleared and you were ready to kill some vamps. Dean had lost his train of thought, but he pulled himself back into reality, asking if you were ready. When you nodded, the three of you had all gotten up, heading to the Impala.

Sam had explained on the way that he had actually found the nest right before you had gotten hurt. Dean then started spouting ideas on how you three should approach said nest so that there was minimal damage to all of you. You three talked it out, and decided that the best course of action would be to lure them out and chop their heads off as they come. You offered to be the bait, but Dean gave you a stern look. You gave him a challenging look back, and he was the first to break with a sigh. He really didn’t like putting you in danger like that, but he ultimately knew it was a useless battle to try and keep you back. You started thinking up ways to get the vampires all riled up, and you had decided on one just as Sam pulled up to the same place he parked yesterday.

You three got out of the car, all going to the trunk to grab some “in case of emergency” items like backup holy water, an extra machete, and some bullets to slow them down. Dean handed you another syringe of dead man’s blood, and you thanked him with a little smile. He grinned at you, nodding in response. The way he smiled made your heart flutter, and you honestly just wanted to kiss him again. Maybe just once, for old times sake. But you knew you couldn’t, so you brought yourself out of your head and nodded at Sam for him to lead the way. Sam did just that, taking you guys to an abandoned bar just on the edge of the street. You looked at both of the brothers, giving them a reassuring smile.

“See you guys in there.” You went inside, the atmosphere almost immediately changing when the door closed behind you. It was cold, just like the outside. The windows had no glass, but they were all boarded up with old wooden planks. The light from outside peeked through in an almost light blue stripes, all cascading over the floor. You crossed your arms over yourself, hoping Dean’s shirt would bring you enough warmth so that you didn’t shiver and bring any attention to yourself. You walked further into the eerily quiet bar, looking around for any movement. Your footsteps seemed to echo all over the place, being the only sound in the whole building. You decided to speak up, about ready to kill some vampires. “Hey, you sons of bitches, I’m looking for the friends vamp that gave me this bite mark. Want to give you the same treatment he got yesterday.” You made sure to speak loudly, wanting them to know that you were serious. You heard a chuckle in the distance and immediately grabbed the handle of your machete.

“You’re the one that killed him, then? Somehow, I find that hard to believe.” A male’s voice came from behind you, and you quickly turned. When you didn’t see anyone, your brows furrowed in confusion. You let your guard down for just a second, but that’s all it took for the vamp to grab you. You struggled, but you were more prepared this time. You grunted, struggling against him. He was pressed up against you, though, so it did make it a bit easier to get him down. You immediately went for any man’s soft spot, it really didn’t matter if they were immortal or not, it’s always a weak spot. He groaned, falling to the ground. You unwrapped the piano wire from your belt loops, getting it around his neck and pulling until blood was all over the floor and his head was no longer attached to his neck.

That’s when the whole nest started to show themselves, and also when Dean and Sam came in to help. The three of you made a badass team, but all of you already knew that. It was like nothing had changed between you, and it was like old times. You all had each others backs, and it was amazing. You missed it, and so did the boys. After what seemed like forever of fighting, you three were the last ones standing, all covered in splatters of blood. You looked over at Sam and Dean, smiling. They both gave you a smile back, both wishing this could be how it was all of the time.

The car ride back was exactly what you had been missing these past two years. You were sitting in the middle of the backseat, leaning over the edge of the front seat so that the boys wouldn’t exclude you from the conversation. Dean was driving now, and Sam was turned so he could look at you and talk. He had been telling you about all of the things that Dean and him had gone through since you left, and you wondered how they were still doing his. It was a lot of process, let alone go through. Dean was quiet, though, and you wanted him to join the conversation. You leaned up at bit more, poking just under his ear. One side of his mouth raised, a half smile lifting his pink lips. You asked him what was wrong, but he just shook his head and told you nothing. You hummed, moving over so your head was right behind his.

Dean wanted nothing more than to join the conversation and make you laugh since that sweet sound brought him joy, but he had a lot going through his mind. He knew that by destroying the nest, this job was done. That meant that him and Sam would pack up later that night and leave, going back to their bunker to wait for another job. It meant that he would leave you, since there was really nothing keeping you with them now. He was upset, and he could feel his heart starting to break as he drove closer to the motel. He didn’t want this to happen, he didn’t want to lose you again. He realized last night, when you whispered those sweet words, that you were the love of his life.