#will get back to drawing women asap

[shriika]

this is how i win *loses*

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies, mostly about miss Jamil Viper! But also some other stuff.

Anonymous asked:

I feel deprived of the twst women, Ryu! Give us something! I can't be only anon asking for more of the genderswap!twst characters!

For the record: we received this ask pretty much as I was finishing up that Jamil drawing we posted yesterday, so Anon, your timing is insane lol Your wish was granted!

But also, we’re going to post some fem!AzuIde soon + I have a couple of asks of genderswap hcs… I hope to get to them asap too.

For some reason I am always surprised when people are so excited to see the girlies. Thank you for reminding us that you love and want them.

Anonymous asked:

My pansexual ass after seeing your latest Jamil art: "I am not okay."

Really hope we're diving back into the twst girls because DAMN are they hot.

I’m sorry, Anon! Stay strong!! <3

Like I already replied to another Anon, we’ll definitely have another twst girl post soon (not sure when though). Not sure if it counts as diving back into them; I feel like it’s always been “a treat every now and then” kind of deal, but I love these girls dearly, so I’m glad that you give us extra motivation to post them more.

Anonymous asked:

miss viper are you single? 🥺 if not, i think i could also make for a good pet...

Anon… I feel you 😔 I wonder how often Jamil encounters people being willing to be her pets lol It’s so easy to picture her confused yet annoyed face.

(Thank you btw!! I’m happy I drew her so...dateable)

Anonymous asked:

Jamil is a great asset to the team

Indeed! It certainly boosts everyone’s morale… until it starts distracting everyone lol

Anonymous asked:

Are those the twst ladies I see? MT EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED! Please do more of them in cosplay, I'm eating this up!

(this is related to a genderswap cosplay reply from this post)

Thank you!! I wish I could draw everything, but, unfortunately, that would take too much time lol So it’s all up for your imagination!

I have another ask related to this topic, so I’ll post more thoughts about it at some point in the future.

Anonymous asked:

Rook and Vil would be so beautiful as Gomez and Morticia, even though it IS a bit predictable for Vil's taste. But do you think that the boys would get along with the Addams family?

Both Gomez and Kalim are already bottomless pits of energy and friendliness on their own, imagine them together in the same room. Azul and Gomez are also a funny combination. Here's a new rich businessman Azul could try to learn from, only to discover that his approach to making money is mostly luck-based. Sorry Azul, he's just that good.

Or maybe they would all just be put off by Gomes and Morticia's pda                                    

Honestly, I feel like a lot of them would get along with them pretty nicely. For starters, Vil would enjoy Morticia’s company a lot, I think they would genuinely become besties because: not only they’re a pretty good match personality-wise, but also both are into botany/potion stuff + apparently both have experience in fencing… Somehow, their wavelengths align pretty neatly. Of course, it’s safe to assume that Rook would be allured by Morticia too, but let’s be honest, Rook would be charmed and be able to befriend the entire household, Lurch included.

Oh god, Gomez and Kalim would have hilarious friendship. Kalim would look so out of place surrounded by all the grim and spooky goodness of the Addams’ house, but it’s like he doesn’t even notice that he’s sitting in front of a guillotine and on top of a coffin. He’s just laughing because that Gomez guy is so funny and friendly, and he’s happy to make new friends with such a fun family! Also Kalim would feel sudden urge to see Jamil after seeing Gomez’ and Morticia’s pda lol

As I read your reply, it was so easy to imagine poor Azul giving himself pep-talk in front of the mirror. Keep it together, Azul! Yes, he is eccentric, but you have to befriend this man! (but then he’ll learn about the luck thing and dip 😭 very rude guy…)

Hm… I think Lilia would also like Morticia a lot, but maybe it’s just because she kind of seems like his type 😳 And of course because Diasomnia dorm looks like an Addams’ house already lol Actually, all of the Diasomnia boys would probably enjoy their time together.

A lot of the boys would be kind of embarrassed to witness pda though, but especially all the first years (minus Ortho) and Idia. If Idia is for some weird reason present, he’d probably complain about the straight normies :( But I can’t see him hating these two, so I think even he will get charmed to some degree after freaking out a little for some time lol

[austinsgirl]

Rather Die Chapter 21

Masterlist

——————————————

Christmas Morning

Victoria woke up to the smell of breakfast being made in the kitchen. Austin & Evelyn are currently frying up ham & making eggs. Evelyn seems to really be getting along with Austin, which makes Vic happy since that is the grandmother to Violet.

"Good morning, Vic." Austin smiles. "Merry Christmas."

"Good morning, Merry Christmas." she smiles back.

Austin walks up to her & talks quietly, "I was thinking we could tell everyone the baby's name during breakfast."

"Yeah, definitely." Victoria agrees happily.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart!" Evelyn says coming behind Vic to give her a hug.

"Merry Christmas, mom!" she smiles. "Breakfast looks amazing. I had no idea you planning to do all this."

"Austin asked me last night if I'd help him. He wanted to surprise you."

"Oh?" she raises an eyebrow at Austin. "Did you now?"

"I did." Austin smiles & blushes a bit.

"That's really sweet of you, Aus."

"You deserve it, Vic. You did so much yesterday. You deserve to just rest and chill out today."

"Thank you. I appreciate it." Vic smiles again.

Once breakfast was ready, everyone sat down at the table to eat.

Austin speaks up, "So um, I have some news. Julie & I have made it official! We are now boyfriend & girlfriend. I asked her this morning with the necklace I got for her with my birthstone."

Every one was congratulating them & seemed genuinely happy except for Victoria.

She put on a fake smile as her heart sank when she heard the news, even though she saw it coming any day now.

"Vic & I also have some news..." Austin says, getting Victoria's attention, dragging her away from her thoughts. "Vic, wanna share the news?"

"So, we have decided on a name for baby girl. Her name is Violet Lorraine."

Austin's sister Ashley immediately started tearing up at hearing her middle name.

"Austin, is Lorraine after mom?" Ashley asks.

"Yeah, it is." Austin smiles.

"That's so beautiful, Austin. I love it." she says. "Mom would love it."

"Thank you." Austin starts to get teary eyed himself.

David speaks up, "Your mom would be so proud & so honored, son."

"Thanks dad." Austin replies.

After breakfast, everyone gathered in the living room to open presents as Home Alone played in the background.

Lots of gifts being exchanged, a lot from Austin as he loves to give & tends to over buy.

Vic opens her first gift from him which is a gift certificate to a local spa.

"Oooo this is so nice, Aus. Thank you."

"You're welcome." he replies. "This place has special messages for pregnant women, and you're always complaining about being sore so it should help. There should be enough on there for a facial & to get your nails done too."

"That sounds so amazing. I will be booking an appointment ASAP."

Mila opened up a gift from Austin next which was a gift certificate to the same spa.

"Ooo Vic! Girls day!" Mila says showing Vic the gift certificate.

"Ooo yes, definitely!" Victoria replies.

As they continue opening gifts, Austin & Ashley both open a gift from Victoria. She had gotten a drawing commissioned of them & with their mom. The siblings both started tearing up.

"Wow...this is um...beautiful." Austin says speechless. "Where did you even get this picture?"

"Your dad may have helped me with that." Vic looks over to David who is looking at her.

"This is so sweet. Thank you so much, Victoria." Ashley says getting up from her seat to give Vic a hug.

"You're very welcome." Vic replies, hugging back.

"Thanks, Vic. This means a lot." Austin says.

"You're so welcome, Aus. I'm glad you love it."

They continued opening presents until everything was unwrapped.

They also went through their stockings which was full of their favorite candies, travel size items, lottery scratch offs, little random things that they'd like, for example, Austin got guitar picks since he plays guitar. There was also beauty items for the women.

After a while, Austin's family said their goodbyes & headed home. Austin said his 'see you later's' before leaving to go to Juliette's parents house.

About a couple hours after Austin had left, he had texted Mila saying he forgot one of Vic's gifts in his closet and asked for her to give it to Vic just incase he didn't see her when he got home.

Mila grabbed a little velvet box out of one Austin's drawers in his closet & went back out to the living room where everyone was now watching The Santa Claus.

"Vic, Austin asked for me to grab this from his room for you. He wanted to make sure you had it today just incase you're in bed by the time he gets home." Mila says as she hands her the box.

Vic takes it from her, confused as to what it could be.

"Oh my gosh...he remembered..." Vic says shocked as she sees what's in the box.

"What is it, sweetie?" Evelyn asks.

"It was months ago. Austin & I had some time to kill before our doctors appointment. We had walked down to Starbucks to get something to drink, and on our way back we walked passed this antique store that had this Tiffany's pearl necklace and earring set in window on display & it was the exact set that-

"Your dad had gotten you for your fifteenth birthday before he passed, and you had lost it in the move..." Evelyn says cutting her off.

"Yes." Victoria says on the verge of tears. "We were running out of time to stop in there, and then completely forgot to go in afterwards because we were too distracted from seeing Violet on the ultrasound. Whenever we would be over there after that, the store was closed. But I guess he managed to go on his own to get it for me. I can't believe he remembered it, and how much I wanted it." she wipes away tears that are streaming down her cheeks.

Victoria feels herself adding on more love for Austin to the love she already has that she continues to try and suppress.

"That is the sweetest thing." Evelyn says. "He really loves you, huh?"

"What?" Vic asks getting caught off guard. "Noo. It's not like that, mom. He just loves me in a friend & the mother of his child kinda way."

"But this was months ago, right? He probably got it before he met Julie." Mila says.

"Juliette." Victoria corrects her.

"Whatever. He definitely did love you to do that."

"Emphasis on the 'did'. He's with Juliette now. It's not like that now."

"Honestly, you didn't hear this from me but, I think it's always like that with him now. I don't think this man will ever stop loving you in that romantic way." Mila says.

"You think?"

"Mhm. I just feel it."

"I hope you're wrong, Mila. I don't think it'll ever happen for us."

"Don't be so sure." Mila raises an eyebrow with a smirk. "I'm rarely wrong about these things. Also got the thought, what if Eliana stole your necklace from you? The one you lost?"

"You know what, she totally could have. I did catch her rummaging through my jewelry box once. She claimed she was looking for something I borrowed from her, which I never did. A pair of earrings were missing after that and she played it off like she hadn't seen them. That bitch." Vic says.

"Yeah, she probably did then." Mila replies.

Evelyn says, "It's sad how horrible of a person she turned out to be. But honestly not surprised. Her parents were always so snooty to us whenever they visited New Zealand."

"Her mom especially." Victoria adds.

Some time has passed. Everyone has gone to bed for the night except for Victoria. She waited up for Austin.

He finally walked through the door a little after 11pm.

"Hey, Vic. You're still up?" Austin asks, seeing her from the kitchen as he puts food away in the fridge he was sent home with from Juliette's mom.

"Yeah. I was waiting for you actually." she replies as she stuffs Sour Patch Watermelons into her mouth. AKA, her current pregnancy craving.

"Oh, you were?" he walks into the living room and sits down next to her on the couch.

"Yeah. I wanted to thank you in person for the necklace set, so thank you, Austin. You really didn't have to do that. It must have cost you a fortune."

"Oh, you're welcome. It's nothing."

"It's not nothing, Aus. It's everything. It's absolutely perfect & something I don't deserve."

"What do you mean you don't deserve it? You absolutely do." he grabs her hand in reassurance.

"I don't deserve it. Not after the way I treated you."

"I don't care about that anymore. You absolutely deserve it. After the shit I put you through, the shit Eliana put you through. The way you wanted this so bad because it was something your dad had gotten you that you lost. You need this."

"You're one of the sweetest people I have ever met, you know that?" Vic says starting to sob. "I'm sorry I ever treated you like you weren't."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. That was something you didn't deserve."

"It's fine. You still piss me off and annoy me sometimes though." she chuckles.

"I can say the same about you, Vic." Austin laughs.

"How was meeting her parents?" she asked.

"It was good. They were really nice. Her dad was kinda scary & weary of me at first but he warmed up to me."

"That's good."

"Yeah. They got me a gift card to Barnes & Noble." he chuckles. "They figured I'd like it since I obviously shop there."

"Right, because you met Juliette there."

"Yeah." he laughs, stealing a piece of candy from her.

"Hey! Those are mine!" she snatches the bag out of her lap. "See, you're being annoying."

"What? You can't give up just one? It's Christmas!"

"No, I need these things to survive right now."

"You're so dramatic."

"I am an actress." she jokes.

"Oh speaking of, I don't remember if I told you. My publicist is already working with yours on getting us interviews for the movie. The trailer drops next week and then the movie is dropping in April."

"April?" she raises an eyebrow. "When in April?"

"Late April I think, but the premier is early April."

"And I'm due the 16th. Great. I hope we'll be able to make it to the premier."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. If we miss it, then oh well."

"I'd rather not, you know? It's my first movie."

"I know, I know. But whatever happens, it'll all work out."

"I know." she sighs.

"We should get to bed. It's been a long day."

"We should. Help me get up?"

"Of course."

Austin gets up and grabs onto her hands and pulls her up.

"Thank you. I'm only 5 months and it's already hard for me to get up sometimes."

"Well, the depth of the couch doesn't help."

"It really doesn't. And hey, thanks again." she smiles.

"You're very welcome." he pulls her into a big hug.

When he breaks away, he drops down to her belly and gives it a kiss. "Goodnight, Violet."

He stands back up, "Goodnight, Vic." he says, looking into her eyes with a quick glance at her lips.

"Goodnight, Aus." she notices the glance at his lips and holds herself back from kissing him.

They turn everything off and head to their bedrooms.

They shut their doors behind them & lean their backs against them, sighing.

Austin thinks, "No. You're in love with Julie, not Vic."

Victoria thinks, "Girl no. We're not doing this again. You are in love with Ash, not Aus."

They take a deep breath, tell themselves everything is fine, and head off to bed.

——————————————————————

[sukirichi]

holy shit long rant ahead

"Like-like you're looking for the man who courted you two years ago, the one you truly wanted to marry. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, because you're not going to find him. He never existed in the first place. Whatever it is you're looking for, you won't find it in me," *shit here we go again audio with head in my hands*

"Get out of your head. Just because I did all those things for you, doesn't mean they meant something. Are you forgetting I spent two years of my life trying to win you over, and I never once felt something for you other than tolerance?" When your face fell, triumph washed over his features. "That's right. You remember now, don't you? She's the one I want. Everything I do is for her. Don't forget your place."

Man idk how the princess heard this another time without breaking down in rage cause either this man is going down with me or nothing. Princess where is your self respect? PICK YOURSELF UPPPPPPP THIS MAN LEGIT RUNS ALL OVER YOU AND all we do is cry and yearn for more LIKE WE NEED TO BLOW IR*S AND HIM UP ATP BRING THE BIG GUNS OUT I NEED KUROO AND HIS ROOSTER LOOKING ASS TO POST THAT ARTICLE ASAP

“Your mother's sniffles was the last thing you heard before the sound of a fist connecting with skin resounded in the area. Pulling back, you gasped at what you saw.”

OH THE SATISFACTION I FELT HERE SWEET HEAVENS I wish someone recorded it and we could watch it all over again cause UM LESGO WWE 🗣️🤺 never have I ever loved a father this much cause he SLAYED LEFT NO CRUMBS AT ALLL #curedmyfatherissues

“Want me, you pleaded silently, at least want me. Just a little bit.” pookie 🤠😟😞 cmon we better than this

“Rintaro hadn't mean to. Sure, he was careless and never used protection, but he thought little of it. Iris® cycles were irregular and they never worried if she missed her period. She was always on the pill - all because of him, since Kiyoomi wouldn't have touched her anyway.”

he’s one sick bastard I hope he rots imagine cheating on your wife that you claim to love, doing it in your shared bed AND without protection like babe the article was so deserved by god

and the ending sentence,,,,,just made me so sick because as much as I hate rin and ir*s, I think I hate the queen and the king more because the issues started with them. with the king being an absolute whore and having kids with random ass women LIKE WHERE IS THE VASECTOMY GET HIS TUBES TIED and the queen being a bitch to rin his whole life just to find out my man got issues for nothing??? not defending him at all but to find out that all he knew as his “home” and family (even tho they sucked) were all never really his,,, I can see his heart breaking with the image he had of his family in his mind in the form of drawings made by his inner child, torn in half,,,,,,,oh I am about to be SICK

(and once he finally found his real home aka princess, bro fumbled it up BADDDD like if I was him I would beg for forgiveness + repent + burn the castle with the queen in it <33 (not the princes, tobio pookie you are coming home with me)

bro’s mental health must be in a delicate state, I hate him but I am also worried for him 🥲

- Freud anon is in shambles btw

THE HERE WE GO AGAIN AUDIO AAHJKA SO TRUE he just keeps on going back and forth like decide already!! 😭 do you want us or not!!

the self respect is… there, just buried under very deep layers of still hoping for something good. but also like we can’t really blame dtd!yn for acting this way because rintaro was FINALLY changing and being the husband we wanted him to be! the whole romantic dinner setup, working on the beach house together, and not once even mentioning iris????!!? BRO WAS DEDICATED. but then yeah he really just had to ruin it all again UGH. “all we do is cry and yearn for more.” actually real.

the daddy issues tag im crying 😭 sending all my love and hugs to you anon. BUT YES omg I loveeee our dad so much in DTD because he really said fuck around and find out! dude literally did not care that he was punching a royal because his daughter was more important than their titles! our parents in dtd are soo parents goals I love them <3

nauh bcos rintaro is careless and CRAZYYY. not only did they do it in OUR bed but he did it raw like! I would’ve thrown up ngl. AGHJSKA the vasectomy LMFAO. unfortunately it’s his duty to have many children and he fulfilled that part VERY well, just yknow… they really should’ve specified to him that he had to have kids with his wife and not other women. but yes I agree! all the problems really started because the king and queen hated each other (or more like, the queen hated him for how he treated her, and the king just didn’t care about her at all. he just knew she’d be a good queen and he needed someone smart and capable in leading the country so he can slack off. terrible, terrible man.) YES OMGGG THE DRAWINGS STOPPP I GET SO SAD EVERYTIME I THINK OF RINTARO’S LIFE WAS STOLEN FROM HIM AND ALL HIS ISSUES, EVERYTHING THAT HE FUCKED UP, HAD BEEN FOR NOTHING! and now he’s fumbling so bad too like bro is losing everything that should’ve never been his in the first place ugh.

YES! we protect and love tobio in this house!! and I agree </3 rintaro is going through a lot and it honestly goes two ways – it’s either he does worse things to cope, or he completely shuts down and forgets everything that happened. I’m not sure which one I prefer…

[zorphie]

Here I saw that you dropped this so I came into your inbox to return it to you 🖊️ (give me any precious OC you have in stock I wanna Know about them)

ty for the ask!! (eats 🖊 whole) everything is below :]

i shall talk about devin for 2day.. my token failboy. God

he's from earth Except it Sucks!! because he's ostracized a lot and has no friends💔 he will often come home and indulge himself in a bunch of his hobbies like drawing ,writing , making music, he's literally just the art kid. he was into a lot of fantasy and imagining himself in those kinds of worlds, doing lots of heroics , yeah you see where this is going . The irony

his only company is his mom which he doesn't mind too much, but it's led him to develop a very self centered attitude (he focused more on himself because he didn't have other people to empathize with if that makes sense?)mf never learned how to share

he ends up in the spiral because there was an urgent situation where mana was flooding into earth, quinn was sent to deal with it. he was worried that devin absorbed it because he could sense his magic and also wanted to save him because devin had some weird negative aura cast on him Somehow (effects include nausea and blurry vision, headaches to anyone nearby, fun all around) quinn was like What Is Going On, panicked, and took him along. worried about this decision later because what if the teachers flip . the plan was just to help devin and bring him back home (uhh very long groan. because this is wizard101 we all know the latter didn't happen)

coming into the spiral has changed devin a Lot for better and for worse. he felt guilty for leaving his mom behind, and she disappeared when he came back to visit. he was excited to learn magic but i think the realization settled in after he killed a man (malistaire)

as the arcs go on he has friends now! finally a circle of people who will accept him. he learns what empathy is because of that! hes still silly and loud but he becomes selfless, a bit more mature and level headed. but he feels like he's become "too selfless" to the point where he's going a little nuts ? always being self sacrificing just to save everyone if possible? the yw pipeline. he wishes he could settle down for A Minute to use his hands to create art again not destroy things . gwah.

just wait until he hears about azteca🙄

he learns his dad is the giant tree and his mom straight up stole him when he was like 3 or something and took him away . Crazy. he's conflicted by the fact that he's being shaped into a weapon by no matter who it is? his mom or the spiral? (his mom is a completely different can of worms I will not be getting to rnLOL but yeah she was just plotting to use him for selfish reasonz) he doesn't like knowing he was born for the sake of (all the horrors he's had to deal with. Erm?) and wants to have an identity seperate from that. his friends remind him that he's still just a human being too. he's doing his best

he delved more into astral magic around arc 3 which was not by choice. at all. (crazy woman told him to . idk why but ihave a lot of evil wizarfd women) and he should not have learned that much but he did! uhmwhoops. it's hazardous. it does not just enhance spells -he could accidentally fuck up time and space. he's learning how to control it with eden and lalin because he needs to eventually. does not actually go to the arcanum scholar about it because he's terrified of seeming like a threat to them

hypothetically he could time travel but that's for his super secret alternate version who's stuck in a time loop we don't worry about that guy

devin's other path would've been a villain if quinn never dragged him into the spiral,, he was missing and people were looking for him but it was near impossible to find him because of the aura he had going on. ambrose's spell wouldn't have worked. (his mom was taking a lot of precautions) it was just known that the scion was out there and he needs to get his ass in the spiral asap or we're all fucked (quinn standing there like 🧍‍♂️as if he isn't ambrose's errand boy)

devin's alternate self is aware of him and is supposed to show/answer "which life would've been better for him". since he's obviously not having a care free time in both

dasein kinda reached him around empyrea because of the astral magic stuff sorta fucking with reality but it was very limited

oh and his eyes turn from full purple to a tint of blue he's got stardust hands now. it's "contagious" and he can flick his hands onto anything and get glitter all over it, he does it a lot on his friends . his blood is also glitter. somebody help him. pros: glitter. Cons: black holes. is it worth it

he's trying to start a silly band.. only amari and erin will join nd they will never stop annoying the others about it

devin is good at the storm spells, but the machines related stuff that his teacher assigns? not at all.so he cheats and asks for eden to do it

his pet is a zappy glowbug who's always scared of everything and frequently flies into glass. it acts as his nightlight. it's also probably radioactive . it can charge your devices but they have a chance of exploding. has also probably electrocuted people

[sleepymarmot]

Vertigo (1958)

[Watched on August 28th]

Please enjoy a liveblog of me watching this classic completely blind and having An Experience. (But only if you’ve seen it yourself, because this is one of the films that work much better when you know nothing in advance.)

Liveblog

The first scene between the man and the woman was the height of “as you know”. They just talk and talk in exposition while I spend several minutes trying to figure out whether they’re a couple or father and daughter.

I decided to watch this film right now because I know it was brought up in Laura Mulvey’s article about male gaze and wanted to read it without getting spoiled, and I don’t know what exactly she said about it, but I immediately noticed how the man is filmed “objectively” but the woman is shown through his eyes, following his line of sight.

Glad I know nothing about the plot because I’m genuinely intrigued.

Has she really not noticed an extremely obvious trail even once?

Oh my god I misread the dates on the headstone as the 20th century instead of the 19th and kept thinking Carlotta died just before the events of the movie. Well, this makes more sense now!

Really pretty shots with the Golden Gate Bridge.

My late grandmother must have looked a lot like the main character when she was young… They were probably born around the same time, she wears her hair in a similar way to what I remember...

Bro I know she’s the other main character and the two of you are probably going to have at least some romantic tension, but why are you grabbing her hand like that, she’s married to your friend…

I am hoping more and more that we’ll get a recap of the entire film from her POV at some point. Like her hiding in the hotel room when he came in to check, or listening in to his conversation with her husband on the phone.

This black-and-white outfit slaps

I’m glad I know nothing about this movie because I genuinely have no idea whether it’s going to be supernatural or not

I didn’t expect her to die so soon. There’s 45 minutes left! So what now? Has the husband been driving her mad to take possession of the inheritance? Is the film going to be about him from now on?

Damn, the effects in this dream sequence did NOT age well

I like how the film draw attention to the 50s pretty women looking indistinguishable. I kept wondering whether Midge and Madeleine were played by the same actress!

Huh, I suspected that she threw a fake body, but didn’t think she wasn’t alone!

Oh, so the dead body wasn’t fake, the living one was.

The film really shifted POVs, and not in a way I expected. Now we know what she’s thinking but have no idea what the fuck he is.

Oh I bet there’s class commentary on this too. I can see where the gender commentary is. I thought the perfect alluring image of upper class white femininity, mysterious and vulnerable, was just a patriarchal cinema convention, but it’s actually constructed even within the fictional universe! What a pity, to know that a man does not want a real you, only a mirage designed to be as stereotypically attractive as possible. “If I let you change me, will that do it? If I do what you tell me, will you love me?” “Yes. Yes.” “All right. All right, then, I’ll do it. I don’t care anymore about me.”

Either he has figured it out and is trying to set up a trap for the murdering husband, or he’s oblivious and poor Judy needs to grab her IDs and run far far away asap

Like, I have to be fair to the dude. From his perspective, he found a woman who is somehow an exact copy of an innocent who’s been murdered by a ghost. He’s living in a fairytale now, as far as he’s concerned she might as well be some magical changeling and if he believes enough he can bring his beloved back or something.

It’s amazing how makeup can change a face — she’s a great beauty as Madeleine and barely noticeable in Judy’s garish facepaint

Oh no is he going to push her into the bay now

“One final thing I have to do.” Nooo motherfucker

“And then, I’ll be free of the past.” Noooo

Oh he’s not pushing her into the water, he’s pushing her off the top floor

Can she push him off instead? Please Mr Hitchcock

Noo why did she kill herself at the last second??

What? That’s the end? He didn’t even jump after her?

Well this was a great movie until literally the last minute. RIP

Why are women so in love with this below average guy anyway???

Rating: between 8 and 9, I think.

[End of liveblog]

Full disclosure: I am publishing this “review” months after watching the film itself, because after reading Mulvey’s “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” I fell into a research rabbit hole, got my hands onto a bunch of academic writing on the film, and didn’t want to post my thoughts on the film until I went through it all, in case my future self wanted to make this movie review double as literature review.

I read “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” immediately after watching the film (fighting for my life throughout the psychoanalytical sections, and skipping the paragraphs about the films I haven’t seen yet). Turns out, the analysis of Vertigo takes up only two and a half paragraphs, but it spoils everything so I’m glad I watched the film first. These paragraphs are, of course, quite insightful, except for one weird part where the author describes Judy’s acquiescence to Scottie’s demands as “exhibitionism” and “masochism”. I hope these words had very different connotations half a century ago, because this sounds like downright victim-blaming to me. The current day meaning of these words would imply that Judy enjoyed what was happening, and she made it very clear that she didn’t.

Another essay, “‘The look,’ narrativity, and the female spectator in Vertigo”, written by Karen Hollinger more than a decade later, is a more thorough analysis of this film alone that takes into account the shifts in POV I mentioned in the liveblog above, but to my disappointment, it also describes Judy’s attempts to mollify Scottie as “masochistic”. For the sake of my own sanity, I’m going to assume that word really meant something else in old academic writing.

“The Critic as Consumer: Film Study in the University, Vertigo, and the Film Canon” by Virginia Wright Wexman is a much more grounded essay: it does away with psychoanalysis and talks about the film in the context of its production, which was pretty informative, as well as provides the class commentary I wished for in the liveblog. It was enjoyable to read an analysis based on the material realities of the world that actually exist, and not on someone’s fever dreams. This might be my first dive into this corner of academia, and I was unpleasantly surprised to see people spend so much effort on a methodology that seemed so obviously inadequate to me.

I went through 5+ more articles in addition to the ones I named above, but that reading had diminishing returns. The more I read, the more familiar with the material I became, and the less interesting it was to read other people’s analysis, especially because I kept disagreeing with it. Broadening my horizons in this way was pretty fun and I don’t exactly regret it, but the process wasn’t a great use of my time and energy, and actively demotivated me from watching more films because after months and months I still wasn’t done with this one.

Here’s something I learned from one of the articles: there doesn’t seem to be a singular canonical explanation for whether Judy fell accidentally or jumped to her death on purpose. The initial screenplay, which I found online, indicates it was an accident; Kim Novak herself said in an interview that it was suicide. Not only did Hitchcock not show what happened, he didn’t seem to bother to either inform the actress of his interpretation or come up with one at all. That's how little he, and therefore the film itself, cared about the main female character. Nothing matters but the man and his trauma. Scottie’s storyline is concluded poetically regardless of the reason why Judy falls, but Judy’s own storyline is literally dropped as if it was never there.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Brighton & Hove Albion Women 2-2 Manchester United Women

Unlike the Arsenal youth team, Manchester United's women's side did actually make it to Brighton, though it was a difficult affair that took the super sub antics of Rach Williams to save a result...

For United, it really is a case of Jekyll and Hyde at present. In attack, the reds look strong and full of guile and ideas, but perhaps aren't as clinical as they could be - especially given the class of Geyse but her lack of goals since arriving at United.

In defence, Zelem is a dependable captain in the pivot as a passing 6, and Mary Earps - for all the contract drama - is solid in goal (sorry haters, you're just looking to knock her down a peg). The issue comes with the back four. Gabby George, the die-hard United fan and LB, is out injured and missed massively. In her absence we've seen both Hannah Blundell and Jayde Riviere swap between LB and RB to deputise. Both prefer the right side, both aren't at the level of Ona Batlle there, and both aren't as comfortable as George out left. United's defence suffers as a result of the high pressure being put on the wide positions and chances coming in.

For this game, Millie Turner was all over the shop. She missed an early header defending a corner, which forced a clutch save from Mary Earps, and was miles off Terland for Brighton's opener, but it's not purely Turner's issue. Toone lost the ball from a high risk pass out by Blundell. Galton goes to press but then switches players rather than forcing the press and letting someone else - Blundell in this case - pick up the next player. Blundell hesitated which allowed the pass in to Terland, and Turner isn't on the forward whilst Le Tissier is in a weird no man's land behind the pair of them half marking the other attacker and half loitering. Indecision crippled United for the first goal.

It wasn't awful from United though. Geyse was denied by the post first half, as was Ella Toone with a cheeky cross-cum-shot which former red Sophie Baggaley tipped onto the crossbar, before blocking Millie Turner at close range.

The second half saw more sustained pressure from United until finally an equaliser, courtesy of a beautiful curling effort by Ella Toone. Top right corner, perfectly out of reach of Baggaley, and you could see the delight on her face as United were finally back in the game.

Brighton smartly broke on the counter, with Veatriki Sarri testing Mary Earps late on, and again the defensive issues were visible; United's back line clearly not holding any semblance of a line or an offside trap. Rather it felt like a scramble to get back and do anything, which is something coaching needs to address asap.

An 89th minute corner was nodded in back post by Brighton captain Bergsvand to give the Seagulls what nearly all thought was a late victory at the Broadfield Stadium, but never say never when Rachel Williams and Fergie Time are involved. The super sub scored a late late 98th minute equaliser, tapping in back post as Brighton's defence couldn't properly head clear Katie Zelem's corner. Not quite a mirror of Brighton's second goal but a true striker's finish and top positioning to be ready for the opportunity.

With two wins (Villa and Everton) and three draws, United find themselves 6th of 12 in the Women's Super League, though only one point behind City, Spurs, Liverpool and Arsenal - all of whom are on 10 to United's 9 points.

Whilst Everton were easily dispatched, Villa were close to a result against United, as were Leicester and now Brighton. United have only faced Arsenal from the sides above them, so manager Mark Skinner has his work cut out to shape up United's defence ahead of tougher ties in the coming weeks.

The big dilemma will be whether he benches Geyse for Malard as the centre-forward in order to start with the industry of Lucia Garcia, or will he continue to risk being too big a gap between attack and defence?

[whatsjenniupto]

Nazaré, a town of ups and downs

After my freezing cold walk through Ericeira, I was hesitant about my stay in Nazaré. I was even more hesitant after sitting outside my guesthouse, messaging the owner on the booking app, whatsapping all posted phone numbers on the door, and scrounging around my bags for every snack source available while waiting for entry.

Eventually, the owner's aunt came along, let me in, and gave me a tour of the place in German because that was our lingua franca. It had taken me so long to gain access to the guesthouse that I was now starving in the middle of the day when all the restaurants are closed. Great.

I decided to do a loop around town, but knew I was going to end up at a grocery store buying packs of chicken and cheese before I fell over from hunger. My guesthouse was conveniently located just off one of the main roads, easily walkable to all parts of the city -- which is completely why I picked it even though every single review mentioned how frustrating gaining access to the place was. My review agreed, but the guesthouse did exactly what I wanted it to: allow me to quickly get to the beach -- where I almost immediately decided to instead duck down shaded streets because Nazaré and Ericeira have completely different climates.

Nazaré was sweltering under the midday sun. It was so bright, I could barely keep my eyes open. I could feel the Death Valley Badwater Basin loopy effect starting to hit me and knew I needed some electrolytes ASAP. I went straight back to the Spar, bought my protein and salt sources, and headed back indoors. Where I stayed until 6pm, shortly before restaurants opened again for dinner.

Ericeira has a microclimate with a northern wind. It's frequently much colder than you think it should be and more humid (hence my not so enjoyable damp, frigid afternoon). Nazaré has much more of a Mediterranean climate with an east/southeast wind that provides warmer and drier temperatures. Ergo, Nazaré is basically perfect at the end of July as long as you avoid the midday sun. Although, if you are the type of person who enjoys swimming in the ocean, you likely will enjoy those hours as well. As I reside ten minutes away from an angry purple sunburn, I was spending from when I finished lunch until when I could get dinner inside.

Nazaré is divided into an upper town and a lower town, connected by a very, very worth it funicular. There is also a slippery staired path that connects the two, but I feared my life climbing down to the swing and deigned to go no further. (If you look to the right of the funicular, there's a wooden arch in the middle of the hill. That's actually a swing.) I also lost my patience after about three groups of people grabbed the swing while I was waiting for it to empty. All I wanted was an empty swing photo. All I got was annoyed that I had nearly fallen all the way down and now had to pull myself up using the railing since apparently my shoes felt they were on ice rather than hot, middle of the day, worn down stones. Or maybe those two are basically the same thing....

The streets at the base of the funicular in the lower town are tightly packed multi-level homes that make up the Fishermen's District. The streets gradually get wider and new construction is easily seen surrounding the area. Older women in traditional skirts sit on chairs at the end of streets all day holding up signs offering lodging, many rooms located in those newly constructed buildings. Nazaré is changing. It's no longer a quiet fishing village. It's trying its best to capitalize on tourism. With beautiful beaches, the biggest waves I've ever seen, and incredible restaurants, it's easy to see the draw.

The iconic boats are also located on the beach in the lower town. Just behind the boats in the top photo are stands where fish is dried and then available for purchase -- unfortunately they were pretty much empty when I was there. I think there was one stand of drying fish. The beach has an accessible boardwalk, allowing wheelchairs to get midway down to the ocean with relative ease. A great addition to any seaside town.

O Sitio, the upper town, boasts sweeping views over the lower town as well as coast. While there might be a slightly higher concentration in restaurants in the lower town along the beachfront, there are plenty of delicious choices up top. I opted for a grilled fish restaurant as I had one goal after finally connecting that barnacles aren't in season in July because they're spawning -- like most seafood. While disappointed that this trip wasn't going to allow me to try gooseneck barnacles, it was sardine season. And I was pretty excited to try me some sardines.

[horsedivorced]

My Little Pony: Divorce is Magic

In short, it is an alternate universe where the mane six get divorced from as many people as possible.

I had the idea for it when I was reminiscing about early mlp fandom shipping. In 2013 I was 11 years old and the target audience for my little pony g4; I frequented deviantart despite not having an account so I could find bases and look at base edits. And of course, I looked at Next Gens, who didn't look at Next Gens?

This was the early days of mlp, if my memory is correct Twilight hadn’t even become a princess at this point. There were not a lot of major male characters besides Big MacIntosh and Spike. And the mlp fandom (or at the very least the slice of it I was privy to) refused to ship any of the mane six with women.

Which led to the laughable phenomena of people picking out background ponies who barely even spoke and pairing them up with Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, etc. All because they didn’t like gay people.

Pictured above, left to right: Comet Tail, Caramel, Pokey Pierce/Royal Pin

I saw these three a lot. I saw them with their wives and 2.5 children and I thought “wow, that's really weird, these might as well be ocs“. Alongside them were Soarin (extremely minor character), Big Mac (minor character), and Spike (main character but also hes a child and people were pairing him with adults, ew). I couldn’t tell you how many drawings I saw where they’d settled down with the mane six and started various families.

I’m not saying that any of these ships are bad outright, but the fact that so many people defaulted to them solely because they were straight says a lot about the fandom at the time.

(Which isn’t even touching on the whole ‘2.5 kids’ thing either. I distinctly remember seeing people say that they didn’t ship any of the mane six with each other because then they couldn’t have babies. Not only is this a very deranged reason for refusing to ship something, not only is this ignoring that trans people exist, not only is this ignoring that adoption exists......... like. Even if two cis women ponies got together, you really think they wouldn’t be able to magic a baby into reality that shares their genomes?? This is my little pony, the sky is the limit! Use your head!)

Imagine that! Choosing a no-canon-interaction, basically nonexistent straight ship instead of a gay one with actual basis and dynamic. For Comet Tail, Caramel, and Pokey they were practically inventing new dudes just so they wouldn't have to pair a woman horse with another woman horse.

I thought nothing of it at the time, but thinking back on it recently I thought: well, had these banal relationships actually gotten together...a lot of them would end up separating, wouldn’t they?

Under the assumption that Equestria functions with the same mindset as these bronies (must get straight married and have 2.5 babies asap), realistically the mane six would end up as divorcees.

Not to be cynical, but the idea that all of them would marry a couple milquetoast dudes and have happy fulfilling marriages just isn’t likely. I’m a child of divorce, I’m friends with several children of divorce, things just don’t work out like you think they would. People change for the better and worse. It happens.

Thus, My Little Pony: Divorce is Magic. Everyone’s separated from their bland boy toys and now must navigate the world as they adjust to the separation and joint custody. But...its not 2013 anymore, its 2023 (oh god, ten years?) and mlp has finished with nine seasons to it’s name - and with that many seasons, they have many more characters.

And with that many characters, you know damn well they added in some new straight love interests. Why stop at just one for each member of the elements of harmony? That’s right baby, the mane six are getting divorced from EVERYONE. Their lawyers are at the ends of their ropes. Their children are unimpressed. The martial drama is through the roof!

you get a divorce! and you get a divorce! and you get a divorce and you-!

At this point I thought. Why not gay divorce too? Why not, at this point. Just because gay you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t ruin your relationship and break up! #equality!

This was a commentary at the beginning. This alternate universe was created to send a message about settling with someone you don't like just to uphold an unnecessary status quo that doesn’t make anyone happy. Now its the battle dome, the ladies are getting divorced from each other, alimony is being fired on all cylinders. The world is in shambles. Every week the Canterlot socialites gather to discuss how long Grand Princess Twilight will tolerate her new paramour. Rainbow Dash does a sonic rainboom outside her ex-wifes house as a means to say “pay child support lol“. Pinkie pie has a running tally of how many more days before she can legally put her divorce papers into the party cannon and launch it at her adulterous spouse’s face.

Oh. And Cadence and Shining Armour. They’re here too...They’re fine, they’re the only couple who has managed to stick together through thick and thin. Every time they visit Cadence asks if twilight is really ok and Twilight says “Yeah I’m having an epic divorce moment“ and its true. She is having an epic divorce moment. I made a fucking spreadsheet.

The only reason Cheese Sandwich died instead of getting divorced is because killing off Weird Al’s ponysona through ‘a tragic sousaphone accident’ is the funniest goddamn thing to me. Hell.

....And of course the kids. The Next Gens. They exist, I like designing characters based on mixing genes together. I like speculating on how colours get passed down through pony lineages.

So they exist and they are caught in the crossfire of the rapid separations. They get half-siblings upon half-siblings. I have experienced firsthand how parents splitting up can negatively affect their kids; so while this is a fun and goofy and silly alternate universe, I’m gonna try and feature the conflicting feelings that would come about if your mom didn’t stop picking up spouses and flinging them at the wall. In a funny way (hopefully).

I believe that’s all the preamble needed to understand mlp dim, you can find posts that exist in that universe under the #mlp dim tag. Primarily through the framing device of Cheesecake Delight, the 4th wall-breaker. I thought it’d be fun if the only canon Next Gen set the stage for the ones I’ve created in my off time.

[whattheabcxyz]

2024-05-08

Singapore

2 men convicted in $3b money laundering case deported to Cambodia - good riddance!!!

NEA steps up measures to deter littering in hotspots

IRAS to claw back S$60m from buyers who used "99-to-1" loophole to avoid ABSD

Losses of over $100m prevented after more than 3K scams disrupted by police & banks - haven't we heard all this before?!

Ex-auxiliary cop jailed for misappropriating seized sex enhancement drugs for his own use

Amazon invests $12b in operations & cloud infrastructure here; also launches AI training scheme

Police have incurred $646K so far to maintain assets seized in $3b money laundering case - just f***in' auction them off ASAP ffs!!! 🤦‍♀️

Foreigners make up almost a third or more of PMET staff for 20% of larger firms here

Basketball coach who sexually abused 4 teen boys gets 19 years’ jail & caning

MAS to ensure DBS identifies root cause of recent disruptions & addresses it effectively

LTA says new onboard unit's power draw is comparable to an in-car camera's

Finance

Singapore is now world’s 4th wealthiest city, overtaking London

Business

Company running luxury timepiece investment scheme found to have breached contractual obligations to 5 HK investors - smells like a huge scam to me

Science

Is there a biological basis for why some organ recipients experience a personality change? - turns out there could be!

Health

Teens who vape have higher levels of uranium & lead in their bodies, scientists find - I don't think the stupids will care, since they were stupid enough to vape in the 1st place

Sports

British female darts star refuses to face transgender player allowed to compete in women's tournament - good for her; other sportswomen should be boycotting tournaments that allow this too, unless they don't mind going up against someone physically stronger than them & losing every time no matter how hard they train!!!

Singapore keen to host World Chess Championship at end-2024

Nature

^ Orang utan’s use of medicinal plant to treat wound intrigues scientists - it somehow knew to use a plant known for its pain-relieving & wound-healing properties!

Travel

Surge in Chinese tourist arrivals in Singapore for Labour Day "Golden Week"

[dopaminergicaddictions]

3/8/24

6:46 a.m-updated

I doubled up on the sleeping meds. I should be sleeping by 8 a.m or 9 at the latest. I'm a little worried I'll throw off my circadian rhythm but who knows. I had to double up bc I've only been up for 15 hours.

I cleaned out two draws today. I was productive. Tomorrow aka later today i have to call the psychiatrist and call disability to reschedule my appt.

Then I'm going to finish my password book. I might sweep my room and clean my ac. I got to finish my mattress pillow top. I did all my laundry but that. Including my bedding. I've been productive.

I had a dream about you last night. I wish I could remember it. It wasn't a good one. That's all I know but when I woke up it was before 7 hours and I just passed back out and it was gone.

I have a feeling you ignored me again. Idk.

The hallucination has been the same. So I guess the weed didn't do any damage at least I hope. I hope I can get in with the psychiatrist asap....

No news on the dating front. That arsenal of photos without glasses is coming up. If a girl can't like me for who I really am that's okay. I don't need to see clearly.

I know you would have wanted me to wesr my glasses. It seems most women do not like the bald guy with glasses look.

I looks funky without my glasses but whats a guy supposed to do?

I feel less attractive with them on. Once I wear my new script for a few days I'll see Apple sauce tbh.... so maybe getting those ray bans aren't worth it. I just want to look attractive.

I wish a woman would like me with my glasses. I wish a girl would like the bald guy with glasses look. It's who I am but I guess I need another Katie. Someone who would rather I not see clearly. Its not that's important to see clearly. Maybe I can introduce myself with glasses on thr first date bit without any photos in glasses I'd feel like I was lying. They might not like it.

Also I could wesr them sometime later... idk... Maybe I'm just not meant to be loved how I am... I used to have one good eye. Not neither is good but things aren't that blurry...

I'm never going to be an edgy guy with tattoos who looks sexy. I'm always going to be a dorky guy... without any tattoos at this point I'd get some just to look more attractive...

I'd actually change a lot about myself despite liking how I look to find someone.

It is what it is. I'm going to do one profile as thr authentic Nathan and one profile as the fake Nathan and see what happens.

I can't help but think all the women are like he is dorky. Maybe it's the bald head. We will find out. I'm never wearing a toupee but like- Maybe just maybe taking off Mt glasses will give me an edge.

I might remove all my videos in yotube with my glasses.. I won't have many left but whatever. No one minds watxhing me if they want to see the gameplay but women don't like something about my picture. I think I look handsome. It's their loss but I can't be alone forever.

If you're coming, just know I'm still waiting for you. I'm not joking. None of my eggs are in that basket... but if I found someone I'd drop her for you in 2 seconds.

I want to grow old with you. I want to watch your girls grow up. I want to marry you but most people never get what they want. And I accept that.

I'll always be hopelessly in love with you. I'll always think about you fondly. I'll always love you with every fiber of my being. I'll always wish any girl I end up with is Elise.

I feel stupid for saying that but its the truth

[bunnypopgal]

Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.

Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.

i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.

As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.

im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.

anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.

im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.

that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.

well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.

oh, if only. (JOKING)

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

We've talked about the boob socks but what is with comic artists and showing womens navels through clothing?

I Have No Clue??? like i wonder at it every time i see it and i never like Get it? it seems to be 'sexy'? like the only time you see a navel through clothing is when the artist is Undeniably horny on main. but like... when i think of ~sexy~ body parts the navel isnt high on the list? so i just Dont get it, i cant see the logic in the slightest

[crystalcow]

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑇𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑒𝑠//𝐷𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

Masterlist // dreams child ml

Even the good children get hurt..

Dream x reader !p !child reader // THIS POST WAS INSPIRED BY @smolbox-png

Pronouns used: they/them

Warnings: Swearing, yelling, fighting, therapy

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“Thank you for this.. Puffy.” The teenager looked up to the older women, fear and pain set and plastered within them.

“I saw the request for your case, and I couldn’t bear to turn you down. Now would you like to start?” They slumped down in the chair putting their head into their palms. Faint scars from the egg vines visible on the open skin.

“My father was a good man before everything, but there were times where.. He wasn’t okay.”

✼*･ﾟﾟ･*:*ﾟ:*:✼

Age 6

The small child scoured throughout the brick house, peaking inside the different brown chests. They grabbed everything they could find useful, shears, emeralds, and paper.

They took all the materials running back to their room, bumping into a tall figure on the way. “Hey hey hey, where do you think your going?” Sapnap teased bringing the child up into his arms.

“Working on a little project..” They whispered into his ear, the man grinned playing along. “What kind of project?” Y/n giggled cupping Sapnaps ear, “It’s a secret, you can see it when it’s done tho!” He nodded putting them down, ruffling their hair before letting them go.

Hounding the bag over their head, placing it down on the small table Sam built. The wood was adorned with different drawings and writing, ‘ᗪ𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗆 Ƭ𝖾𝖺𝗆’ carved into it from the help of Dream.

They grabbed one of the colored pencils that were scattered onto table, drawing different designs on the paper. Once they settled with something they liked, they grabbed the extra clay they found molding it into a bowl like shape.

Carefully grabbing the shears, carving a similar look as to what was on the paper to the clay, admitting a quiet whimper as the blade cut their finger. “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.. Daddy doesn’t cry when he gets hurt! Be like him.”

They continued to impede themselves from crying, wrapping the bloodied finger in a bandage wrap. Once they finished healing their finger, they grabbed the clay mask bringing it up to the light. Satisfied with the result, rushing to Sapnap.

“Uncle Sapnap! Lookie!” Sapnap jumped off the counter placing the child onto the nearby stool. “Oh shi-taki mushrooms.. Kiddo, this looks great!” He smiled at the child, adorning their craftsmanship. “The time with bad and Skeppy really did the trick.”

His smile quickly turned into a frown, viewing over at the beeping communicator.

‘Sapnap where are you?’

‘Get over here Lmanburg ASAP’

‘SAPNAP THE BRITS ARE USING DRUGS’

He scoffed helping Y/n down from the counter, “Wanna go help uncle Sapnap and your dad beat some child asses?” The raven haired male asked as the child eagerly nodded. “Too bad, maybe next time kiddo.” He ruffled their hair once again earring a slap on the shoulder.

“Cmon, let’s go see Bad and Skeppy.” The pair was ready to go out, as the beeps started once again. “Your pops can be really freaking annoying.” He looked down, laughing as they nodded.

‘Sapnap where the fucking hell are you’

‘Chill man, I’m taking care of YOUR kid’

‘Take them back home, we lost.’

He tatted his foot on the ground biting the inside of his lip. “Never mind I guess, run off to your room. I’m gonna have to deal with some shit..” They shrugged ready to go fix up anything with the mask.

✼*･ﾟﾟ･*:*ﾟ:*:✼

Minutes had passed by, loud slams and slashes could be heard coming from downstairs of the community house. “Where the fuck are my damn emeralds! Sapnap, George!” Their head perked up at the sound of Dreams voice, making them smile being proud of the creation that laid infront of them.

A knock on the door brought them out of their lucid state. “You’re back!” They giggled as dream entered the room, his mask was pushed so only half of his face was showing. A snarl was plastered, eyes looking down and dreadful. “Hey look I made something.”

Dream looked around the room and spotted the green gems spread around the table. “There’s my emeralds, what did I say about touching my fucking stuff. You have to ask permission! My one fucking rule is ask damn permission.” He punched the wall in frustration, causing the little one to jump from their seat.

“I didn’t mean to make you angry, actually I made something.” They pursed a smile, whilst shaking in fear. “You failed at the first part, I don’t have time for your shit right now. Lchildburg is on its high horse, that damn Wilbur soot and that prit.” The man continued to mutter to himself. He grabbed the first thing he could find, before throwing it to the wall he had just previously punched.

Y/n screamed cowarded into the corner, as the mask they had previously made now in shatters on the floor. Sapnap and George came rushing into the room after hearing the loud crash, George immediately running to the crying child. “What the fuck happened!” Sapnap squalled, appalled at the sight.

George cradled them closer to him, the shoulder of his shirt soaking up the tears. “Dream, what the hell did you do to them?” The blonde suddenly felt aware of the situation, embarrassed, pulling the mask over his eye once again. “I didn’t hurt them..” He muttered, Sapnap dragging him out into the hallway.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen when we’re not here.”

✼*･ﾟﾟ･*:*ﾟ:*:✼

“So, did he take your anger out on you frequently?” Puffy asked writing small notes down into the file. “Not necessarily, there were just times.” She sighed, pushing forward the previously set biscuits and cookies from Nikkis Bakery.

“Times? As of multiple?” They nodded fidgeting with the hem of their clothing. “Would you like to continue?”

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

I want to remind everyone that this is purely fictional’ and deals with CHARACTER dream! The actual person would never do any of these things!

As always, ask or request anything! And ask if you want to be on a taglist!

@creatorofstars @georgenctfound @samistheidiot @smolbox-png @ghostlysenses @stellarinstigator

[benevolentbirdgal]

Purim: a Jewish holiday and wild ride from start to finish

So let me tell you about the absolute soap opera that is the Jewish holiday of Purim. The scene is set in ancient (appx. 4th century B.C.E.) Persia during the first Jewish Diaspora, in the city of Shushan (typically identified in secular sources as Susa, a now-abandoned ancient city in what is now Iran). I’m telling you, as a work of literature (even beyond theological implications for Jewish people), this book has everything: love, drama, royalty, intrigue, ego, plots, irony, mystery, and a strong female lead. 

[some non-slur swearing below]

Ahasuerus, party-loving king of Persia executed or exiled (translations argue) his wife Vashti, and had to find a new queen. Why did he do this, you ask? Well, it really starts with an 180-day party across his kingdom for all his subjects to celebrate the third year of his reign. After that absolute rager, party-bro KA has another one immediately after for a week, this time just for the capital city of Shushan. Vashti was having a woman’s party in her quarters, presumably living her best life, when party-bro sends his top seven yes-men to deliver a message to Vashti. This sleaze-ball wants her to appear at his party in front of everyone, wearing her crown, with the clear implication being only her crown. Vashti more or less tells him to pound sand (I mean, not the literal translation, but that’s the sentiment). 

KA’s advisors convince him that this is not only an offense against the king but also against all the men in the country (ah, the joys of ancient patriarchy and toxic af masculinity). KA writes a degree that women must respect their husbands so he has an official reason to get rid of Vashti. Vashti is soon thereafter out of the picture and the king is short a queen. Whether she was a Wise Lady With A Point Who Got Screwed Over or a Vicious Jew-Hating Adulteress Who Had It Coming has been a matter of furious debate for over two millennia (the Babylonian Talmud and the Jerusalem Talmud vociferously disagree on her). In any case, KA regrets it pretty quick and wants a new queen. 

At the behest of his advisors (you know, since their last advice worked out soooooo well), KA had a big contest/forcible gathering of young women from around his kingdom and a Jewish woman, Hadassah, was the winner.  Hadassah was an orphan raised by her cousin Mordechai in the city of Shushan. Hadassah is more commonly known as Esther, because she changed her name to hide her identity as a Jew (at the behest of Mordechai). In any case, KA decided he liked Esther best and she became queen (it’s specifically mentioned both that he loved her most and that the palace staff liked her because she was nice to them-it’s unclear how much of an influence the latter was). 

Concurrently, a wicked man named Haman was the top advisor to the king and the king would basically rubber-stamp whatever Haman wanted. Haman was a raging Jew-hater-this will be relevant later. 

Some time into Esther’s reign as queen, Mordechai, who has taken to hanging around the gates of the palace to keep in touch with Esther, overhears a plot by two guards, Bigthan and Teresh, to kill the king. Mordechai alerts his cousin, and she tells the king. It’s recorded in the book of deeds and life keeps moving. 

Some time later, Haman decides (after a promotion to head lackey) that he wants all to bow to him as he passes. Mordechai refused to bow to Haman every single day (citing that as a Jew he bowed to no man), and that did not sit well with Haman. So despite being prime minister and presumably having more important things to do, “genocide the Jews” made it to the top of to-do list. He didn’t like them before, and Mordechai refusing to treat him like a special snowflake was something he took really, really personally (totally can’t think of any modern politicians like that, nope). He told KA, who frankly doesn’t seem to ask enough questions, that there was a people disrespecting the king and his laws throughout the land, and could he pretty-please exterminate them. As a bonus, Haman would “donate” 10,000 silver kikar to the royal treasury (modern conversion vary, but all agree this an absurd amount on money). 

KA handed him the royal seal to do so. Haman was feeling lucky I guess so he decided the best course of action was to draw lots to pick the day for the massacre. [Purim is lots in Hebrew, so that’s where the name of the holiday came from]. The message went out to all the provinces that on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, that they citizens and leaders should murder all of the Jews, young and old, man, woman, and child, rich and poor and take their possessions as spoils. 

As this wasn’t exactly a state secret, the Jews knew and were quite distressed. The planned slaughter was like a year out, but what the actual fuck were they supposed to do? If you lived in Persia at that point that, the empire was functionally your entire world, unless you were fabulously/ridiculously wealthy and well-connected. Having several months notice the other locals and your rules were going to slaughter you and take your stuff isn’t particularly useful when there’s really nowhere to go. 

In Shushan, Mordechai (who, although not explicitly in text, is in oral/Talmudic tradition a leader of the Jewish community) goes into mourning. He dresses in sackcloth and ashes, he weeps, and he fasts at the gates of the palace, as Jews throughout shushan and the kingdom are doing. Esther hears of her cousin’s mourning behavior and tries to send along nice clothes through a messenger, which he refuses. It is then that she learns of the decree. Mordechai (through the messenger) implores her to go ask the king if the Jews not getting murdered could be a thing. Esther explains that she could be killed for approaching the king unsummoned. Mordechai stresses the severity of the situation. Esther agrees to ask the king and tells Mordechai to have the Shushan Jewish community fast day and night (as opposed to just day as prior) for three days, and she and her handmaidens will fast too (no word on what the handmaidens thought of this).

On the third day, Esther bravely approached the king, asked him if she could request something. He said anything, up to half his kingdom (which implies to me that homedude, for all his flaws, was actually into her). Esther invited him to a party, where he and Haman would be the only guests. At the party she asks if she can another request. KA is open to it and she invites him to another party the next night. Party-bro king is obviously down and Haman is tickled to death at this second invitation. 

He goes home to brag to his wife, Zeresh, about the invite and also to bitch about how angsty he is Mordechai is still alive (this angst reignited by passing him on the way home). Zeresh suggests he have fifty-foot gallows built to make Mordechai an example on, with the king’s permission, ASAP. Haman orders the building of the gallows, feeling secure in the knowledge that his bestie the king will execute Mordechai on them. 

Back at the castle KA can’t sleep. He demands a bedtime story from the his records, because those will presumably put him to sleep. The story that gets read, ~coincidentally~, is of Mordechai saving KA’s life. Haman had sidled on up to the castle to speak to the king about killing Mordechai, and the king called him in. KA asks Haman, if he were to honor someone, what should he do? Haman is thinking “this is obvi about me” and tells the king that the honoree should be donned in royal clothing, and ride through the streets on a fancy horse with people someone shouting how great he is. KA is like great, love it, perf, go do that for Mordechai. Haman is not a happy camper but does the thing. After that, he goes home and tells Zeresh about it, who warns him that this is a very bad sign. 

Finally, that night is the night of Esther’s second soiree. Haman and KA attend. The latter offers to Esther anything she wants, up to half of his kingdom. Esther asks that her life, and the life of her people be spared. KA is like “whomst” and Esther revealed it was Haman. At this point Ahasuerus.exe stops working and he takes a walk to the gardens. He comes back to see Haman begging Esther for his life, and KA thinks Haman is assaulting her. Haman was seized by nearby guards.

One of the chamberlains is then like, hey, KA, coincidentally there’s these super high gallows Haman just had built. Why not take care of the problem that way? (The fact that the random nearby chamberlain was like yup, that dude, hang ‘em in the morning, probably says a lot about how Haman treated most people around him, even more than forcing all to bow to him). KA orders it be done. 

Not that Haman was around to be sad about it, but what happened next would have massively pissed him off, as his old job then went to Mordechai. Esther then implored of the king that the degree to allow the massacre of the Jews be reversed. The king couldn’t Cntrl+Z the order to murder-all-the-Jews, but he could issue an order that they could fight back. The proclamation was sent throughout the land, and the Jews were able to prepare. Since the royal decree had been amended, the governments (princes, governors, satraps) largely reformulated their plans accordingly, but plenty of Jew-haters still wanted to use the opportunity. The ability to self-defend meant that the communities weren’t massacred. In most of the kingdom, the Jews were now safe. Outside of Shushan, the fourteenth of Adar became a feast day. 

Shushan was still not safe though. Antisemites were still out and mad (and apparently had not learned from the previous day), so Esther asked the Jews of Shushan to be allowed to defend themselves once more. Her wish was granted, and the Shushan Jews were able to defend themselves once more (so Purim is celebrated a day later in walled cities). 

The story ends with the decision to write it down, and although there some debate on authorship, it is traditionally attributed to Esther herself cowriting with Mordechai. 

Nowhere in the book is God mentioned. Nowhere is there divine intervention (at least not explicitly). Just Jews sticking up for themselves, being brave in the face of mortal peril, and a metric fucktown of chutzpah. 

[mcufox123]

Soul Mates

Summary: What happens when there are actual soul mates in the world? Is Wanda yours?

A/N: ok this story gave me such chills and I’m really proud of it. Please enjoy!

Warnings: Injuries, implications of smut

I DON'T OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS

*************************************************************************************************

Soul mates, they exist. You are born with a mark on your skin. If you date someone, the mark will go away when you both fall in love with each other, and they touch your skin. Like you could be in a relationship and touch each other but the mark will go away only when you both love each other. It drove most of your relationships. So many times, you wanted to find your soul mate, but it never worked out. Your mark always confused you. It was two hands together on your stomach. What would you and your soul mate be doing? Where would your mark be on them?

After a while you gave up on ever trying to find them. You didn’t care anymore. You focused on work. You had been an undercover agent for Tony Stark, investigating different targets before the avengers would go and save the day. You lived with Earth’s mightiest heroes, who at home they were far more different than anyone would expect.

Bruce was a geek, Natasha was like the mother hen, Steve was a wood worker, Tony a family man, Bucky and Sam would play video games, and Wanda loved sitcoms. Don’t get me wrong, they of course trained and ate healthy and did mission recon, but other than that they were normal people.

When you first started living there it was weird for you to see everyone in sweatpants, but you quickly got used to it. You spent time with almost everyone, mostly Wanda though. You two quickly entered a relationship a few short months after you started living there. You even moved into her room. A couple months into your relationship you knew you loved her, but you would never dare say it. You always remembered the conversation you had with her about soul mates.

“Do you believe in the whole soul mates mark?” you asked the closed off girl in your arms.

“I believe they do. I never want to know who mine is though. I lost too many people Y/N. I don’t think I could know that and be ok if I ever lost them.” She answered while playing with your hands.

“That’s fair, I guess. What would you do if you found them though?” you asked her. You were nervous because you wanted Wanda to be your soul mate and you kept waiting for her to touch your mark, but she never did.

“I’m not sure. Maybe put them in a bubble only I could reach and never let them go.” She said in an amusing voice and you knew the conversation was coming to a close.

“I’m sure that would not go over well.” You chuckled. There were a few moments of silence, she was just drawing random shapes on your shoulder, head against your chest.

“Don’t wait for me Y/N. If you want to find your soul mate, go find them.” She said with hurt in her voice. You could tell she didn’t want you to go.

“I’m right here Wanda, don’t worry.” You reassured her before you both were silent again. Eventually you both fell asleep.

That happened only a couple weeks before the mission you were about to go on. Tony had found an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. facility that was now operating with Hydra. You had “applied” for a job there and quickly made your way up the ranks. It was now time for you to report to their office to help them continue following Hydra’s plan. You walked out to the car you would be driving in for the mission. Wanda followed you out.

“Please be careful out there, Y/N. Take care of you. No one else matters. Just you. Come back to me quickly.” Wanda said walking next to you.

“I always do babe. I promise, I’ll be back, as fast as I can.” You wanted to add that you loved her but knew now wasn’t the time. Your soul mate’s conversation still lingering in your head. You leaned in a gave her one last kiss before getting in the car to drive to your mission.

The drive to the mission wasn’t too bad, only like 4 hours which is short compared to other cross-country ones that you have done. Just like you planned you fit right in with the agents. You put on this very charismatic façade gaining their trust in a week’s time.

“I think it’s time you met the boss kid.” Agent Gerald said to you as he led you down a series of hallways. You tried to mentally track your path so you would be able to show your friends but there were more hallways than you could’ve imagined. A tactic they must have used to catch fake agents like yourself.

Once arriving to a big room, you met Frank the head honcho. He was a small man, nothing you would’ve expected from someone leading such a complicated organization. He looked up and smiled.

“So, this is agent Reilly? I’ve heard great things about you.” He said referring to your undercover name. He reached out to shake your hand.

“You must be Frank. I’ve heard some scary things about you.” You said testing the waters of the old man, hoping he would see it as a friendly interaction. Which thank goodness he did. He pulled you into his side while pointing at you and looking at Gerald. “I like this one, she’ll be just the person I need for the job.”

Frank had a plan. This made you nervous, what would he have you be doing? You had to get the team here right away. After the pleasantries of meeting Frank, you were excused until tomorrow when he would let you know what you would be doing.

You however couldn’t wait that long and as soon as you got to your hotel room you called the team.

“Tony, I need you guys here ASAP. I know who the head guy is. Its Frank Randone, Fury’s old partner. I met him today I know where he’s hiding, he has a mission for me which he’s going to give me tomorrow.” You rambled on quickly.

“Ok, we’ll be there in an hour and we’ll devise a plan when we get there. Just be careful and stay put.” He told you in a fatherly way. You rolled your eyes even though you knew he couldn’t see it.

Not even an hour later you heard a knock on the door. You opened it to see your modge podge family. They all looked kind of out of it as they piled in your room. You knew it was because they got called here so quickly on such short notice.

The plan was that you would go into the facility tomorrow and go see Frank for your mission. You would have the tracker com in your ear so the team could both track your movement and hear you and what you heard at the same time. After you received the mission, you would leave the facility to meet your friends and help them defeat Frank.

After the mission was planned everybody left besides Wanda. You were exhausted from the day you just had and anxious about the following day. Wanda changed into some sweatpants and grabbed your sweatshirt before crawling into bed. She rubbed your back as you sat on the edge of the bed a million thoughts running through your head. She sat up and hugged you from behind.

“Come cuddle with me please, this week has been too long without you.” She whispered in your ear. You turned back to look at her in the eyes. You saw her looking at you with so much emotion. You leaned in to kiss her which quickly got heated.

If it had been a chaste kiss, it was almost as if she was going to say those three little words, she didn’t though, instead you had a heated night. You both fell asleep in the comfort of each other’s arms.

The next morning you peeled yourself from Wanda’s arms to get ready for the day. You were too nervous to eat or do much, but you had to get the com ready and online and dressed. Wanda was still sleeping when you were about to leave so you walked over to kiss her forehead. Before you could pull away you felt a hand come up to your neck and hold you there. You looked down to see emerald eyes staring back at you.

“Be careful, please. I need you to come back to me.” She said. Your only answer was a chaste kiss before pulling away.

“I promise.” And with that you walked out of the room and drove to the facility.

Once you got there you were immediately taken to Frank. You were grateful that you didn’t have to remember the hallways with the tracking com. Once you arrived at the room you instantly felt a sense of panic though.

“Agent Reilly just in time! I brought your mission in for you to complete it right now, so I know you are worthy of the position I am about to offer and that you are loyal to this organization.” He said with a creepy grin before he continued. “The world is lost, the only people who seem to have it all together are the avengers. That can’t be, we need them to be in array as well. I have captured the founder and his right-hand man, or women I should say. They will be here any minute.” He walked towards you holding a gun. You suddenly were very nervous; you had an idea of who it would be.

“This man and I go way back, we used to be partners if you could believe that. It was easy getting him surprisingly enough and lucky for me she was there too. What I need you to do is kill them. First Maria, then Fury. Then we will talk about this new position I have for you.” You needed to get out of this. Suddenly the door opened, and Fury and Maria were dragged in. The looked awful, defeated even, one thing that you never saw on either of their faces. Then they looked up and saw you and you saw hope on their faces. You, however, were shaking. You had to think quickly of what you had to do.

There were four men there and Frank. Each had a gun, and a knife attached to their belts. You had a gun you also had the team who would hopefully be on their way by now, but you had no way of knowing for sure. You eyed up the four guys, you could take them. You could do this. You just had to get Fury and Maria out of here alive.

Fury eyed you knowing that you had just calculated your plan in the span of 20 seconds, and he visibly relaxed as did Maria. They trusted you. You could do this.

You walked over and grabbed the gun from Frank, “You got it boss.” You said before turning your back on him to walk towards Maria. You held the gun at her head, then eyed Frank who gave you a subtle nod.

Before you could shoot Maria, you pulled your gun up and expertly shot three of the men before the 4th one lunged at you. You dodged him and grabbed him by the arm causing him to turn around. You shot him in the back before turning to look at Frank. He eyed you nervously.

“Who are you?” he asked in a shaky voice. You smirked. “I’m your worst enemy.” You said before turning to shoot him. He fell back, you don’t even check to see if he’s out before you turn around to help Fury and Maria out of the restraints. Right as your finishing helping Maria, you hear an alarm blare. You turn to see Frank with his phone in his hand smiling. Before you have time to process you feel a sharp pain in your stomach. You whip your head around to see a guard standing there. You shoot him then turn back and shoot Frank in the head.

“Y/N,” Fury said as he rushed towards you. You then collapsed on the ground, looking down to see a knife protruding from your stomach. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

You heard lots of commotion coming from the hallway. You knew the team was there. Fury knew not to touch the blade inside you and instead picked you up carefully. He started carrying you out of the building and to the quinjet outside. He put you on the ground and tried to stop the bleeding. He took the com out of your ear to talk to the team.

“This is Fury, Y/N is down. Stab wound in her abdomen. We’re on the quinjet but we have to get her out of here, and fast.” You didn’t get to hear the response but not even two minutes later a red head appeared in your vision cupping your cheek.

“Stay with me you hear me. You’re not allowed to leave remember. You have to be with me.” Wanda said. You reached up to grab her cheek. “I'm not going any-any-anywhere. Re-re-remember.” You choked out with difficulty. You saw tears running down her face.

Fury reached around Wanda to look at the wound. “We need to take that knife out; an infection has already started spreading. If we want her to make it, it has to come out. I will remove it. Wanda, you need to apply pressure as I extract it.” He said looking up at Wanda who just nodded. Wanda put her hands on the spot she would never dare touch before.  The knife was directly in the center of your soul mate mark. You realized in that moment that she was your soul mate. You started to cry, now scared about what the outcome of this day would be. You had to make it, you had to be ok for her.

It must have registered in her brain as you simply put your hands over hers. Covering her mark on the back of her hands. You heard her cry harder as both of your marks started to fade away.

“I love you Y/N. You can’t leave me now. I said it. I’ve said what I’ve tried to run away from. We both know now, and now, you can’t leave me.” Wanda said crying harder holding her hands on your stomach. It was so hard for you to process her feelings. The pain slowly started to leave your body as you began to feel numb.

“I love you too Wanda,” breath, “always have,” breath,” always will.” You tried to get out. Suddenly you couldn’t hear anything. You saw Wanda start to sob and scream at you. You saw the rest of the team ran onto the quin jet. Steve immediately took over for Wanda, while Nat and Clint tried to pull her away from you. You saw her fighting her way back to you then everything went black.

Steve held his hands there. Tony used his Iron man suit to freeze the wound until they were able to get you home. You were fighting for your life the whole way back to the compound. Wanda fought everyone so hard to stay by your side. She held your hand rubbing endless circles on the back of your hand. She talked to you the whole way.

“Well, we know now, we’re soulmates. When you wake up from this don’t expect me to ever let you out of my sight again. The first thing that’s going to happen is I'm going to talk to Tony. You need a suit. I know I'm not stopping you from going on missions but you need a suit so you can be ok when I'm not there. The next thing is we are moving out of the compound. It’s a target. I need you safe and I need you all to myself. Maybe we could build a house right next door or down the block because I know you won’t want to be too far from the team. Also, we are getting married. There is absolutely no point in prolonging that. I want you to be mine for forever, officially. For all this to happen you need to stay with me. You need to be ok. Because I love you.” Wanda rambled on. She continued to talk about your life together.

When you arrive at the compound they immediately moved you to the medical bay. Wanda is frozen on the jet. Everyone slowly makes their way off the jet exhausted from the day. Wanda slowly walks off and instead of going with Nat to the medical bay, she goes to your room and puts on one of your sweatshirts. She crawls under the covers and puts on your favorite sitcom. She doesn’t watch though, she’s too numb, a million thoughts running through her head. She doesn’t want you gone; she needs you. After about a half hour she lets out a blood curdling scream as it finally hits her that you might be gone. Clint goes in and just holds her, being her fatherly figure that he is.

They operate on your stomach and everything goes smoothly, but you lost a lot of blood. Now it is up to you to wake up. In the in between life and death you are at peace. You are in your dream house with your childhood dog, and you feel a sense of calm. No responsibilities are on your shoulders, no timeline of missions, no scars from past missions litter your body. In the in between you are just you and you can do anything you want.

Every day you do whatever you want. Some days its running by a lake, some days you are on the beach. The only sad part is nobody is here to share it with you. One day you are cooking up some breakfast when there is a knock on your door. You are startled by the intrusion of your peace. You wipe your hands and go to the door to see a young man with white hair.

“Hi,” you say unsure of your own voice.

“Y/N, I’m Pietro, Wanda’s Brother.” You stand there in shock. You’re not sure what to do so you reach out and give him a hug, happy that you finally are able to meet him.

“Oh my gosh, HI! It’s so nice to meet you! Wanda has told me so much about you!” You say enthusiastically. You then step aside and welcome him into your home.

You take him to the kitchen where you both share a meal, and you get to know him better. He tells you all about young Wanda and their life growing up. You tell him all about your relationship with Wanda and that you both learnt that you were soulmates.

“She really loves you ya know? She tried to push it away for so long. Do you know how long you have been here for?” He asks you suddenly. You’re thrown by the question because you have now lost track of time.

“No, I’m not really sure. The last thing I remember is telling Wanda that I loved her. Then I was just here.” You tell him honestly.

“It’s been 3 months. You’re not dead, your body is trying to figure out what it wants to do. For that to happen you need to know what you want to do. Can I show you something?” He asks as you try processing this conversation.

“S-s-s-sure.” You say nervously, still trying to wrap you head around the fact that it’s been 3 months. He stands up and escorts you to a mirror. He pulls a nob out and places it on the mirror. Your eyebrows furrow and he notices.

“You only get one of these when you’re completely committed to this world.” He says as a sad smile crosses his face. You know he wasn’t supposed to die, but he sacrificed himself to save Clint, a heroic action. He starts turning the nob and you see yourself on a hospital bed. Next to you is Wanda, she looks so broken, a shell of a person who she was. You gasp and put your hand on the mirror to try to touch her. You can’t though and the tears start to roll down your face.

“She hasn’t eaten much Y/N. She hasn’t showered unless Clint makes her. She has spent every day for the past three months in this hospital room next to you, waiting for you to wake up. She needs you Y/N, way more than she ever needed me. You make her happy even if she was too stupid to admit it. She loves you so much. I understand if you choose to stay here and wait for her, to be at peace and get the relaxation you need, but please just do something. Don’t stay in this in between because it will kill her.” The tears are coming faster now as you take everything in. He gives he a side hug and you turn into his body so he could hold you while you cry.

Pietro stays the rest of the day and does whatever you want to do. You both go for a walk, you take a boat out on the lake, you go to the beach and just stare at the ocean. You wish that everything could be easy, but it can’t. You have to make a decision.

After dinner Pietro says that it’s time for him to leave and you escort him to the door.

“It was really nice being able to mee you Y/N. If you do go back, tell my sister hi. Tell her I miss her, but I am so proud of the person she has become. Tell her I am ok and that she’ll see me again someday. And you, if you return take care of her, love her, and give her everything you possibly can.” You nod at him and reach for a hug which he gladly returns. “I’m happy its you, Y/N.” he said before he turns around to leave.

After he leaves, you stay up and write. You write all of your feelings on a page. You write all the reasons you want to stay and all the reasons you want to go back. Eventually you fall asleep on the couch a pen in your hand.

When you wake up the light is bright. It takes you a few minutes for you to realize where you are. You’re in the hospital bed, a warm presence is on your arm. You look down to see Wanda slouched over asleep next to you. You smile, you’re back. You remember your time away so vividly; you look up and silently thank Pietro. You lean over and place a soft kiss on the top of the red head. It takes her a minute to stir. She looks up at you and just stares in disbelief. Her hand reaches up to cup your cheek making sure your really there. You just reach up and touch her hand.

That’s enough for her to attack you in a hug and sob. You hold her whispering reassuring words into her hair. “I’m here. Don’t worry I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Remember I’ll always come back.” She just cried harder.

After she finally calms down, she smashes her lips on yours, putting in all the emotions she has, and you are fast to reciprocate it. When you pull back your foreheads are touching.

“So, when are we getting married?” you ask a smile spreading on your lips.

“As soon as you get out of this hospital bed,” she says while smiling back at you.

“And the house?” you ask repeating all of the promises she made to you.

“Steve already started construction on the edge of the compound property.” She says while planting kisses all over your face.

“And the suit?” you ask, she freezes.

“Not happening anytime soon. We are taking a long vacation you and me, there are a lot of things we need to catch up on and I'm not going to share you just yet.” This causes you to chuckle and agree.

“He’s proud of you, ya know?” you tell her, she freezes and gives you a questioning look. “Pietro, I met him, he’s proud of you, he loves you, and he’s ok. He said you will see him one day don’t worry.” You say as you bring your hand up to her cheek in a comforting way. You see tears roll down her cheeks and you’re quick to wipe them away.

She snuggles closer to you “thank you y/n for telling me. And for coming back to me. I love you.” She says as she lays her head on your chest. You wrap your arms around her and in a few minutes, you hear that she is sleeping. You see such relief on her features, and she looks so calm. “I love you too, always have and always will.” You say as you lay a gentle kiss on the top of her head.