#will I ever know peace?
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every time i go to the fyp, i regret it bc yes, there are posts that are good, but then i gotta check the person's page to make sure they dont ship batcest and nvm they do. scroll a little bit and come across the most out of character post i've ever seen in my life with 1000 notes. scroll again, and it's someone hating jack drake-
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Why did I get all the math and science mutuals you guys SCARE ME
#sillyposting#shitposting actually#anyway#I am in awe of your huge brains#but also terrified of the computing power you hold within them#I see numbers and I want to throw up#the fight or flight kicks in#my eyes glaze over#I get flashbacks to a terrible time#it’s the Great War of 2013 (I am failing my math class)#I cannot escape the numbers#they know where I sleep (my 15000 alarms)#will I ever know peace?#no. not with y’all here. disturbing my peace.#what the FUCK is a Han Xin code Wathav#I’m SCARED#(again this is a shitpost I genuinely love your interests even if I personally can’t compute them LMAO)#at least without handholding#I would genuinely like an explanation if you’d like to infodump#ooh secret code I would love to learn about the theory of it all
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Me: I keep seeing ads for this, should be a fun otome, something light-hearted
Me several hours after starting Love and Deepspace: how dare you put my favourite time-wimey tropes into a single story
I do not have enough time for the plot bunnies this is generating.
#love and deepspace#spoilers#whelp#there goes even more sleep#do I want to write about future Zayne craving a single piece of warmth#present Zayne dreaming of a dark future#Xavier living through centuries on a single hope#raphael chosing between revenge and hope#apparently all three#new dude fortunately doesn't have enough content yet to hit me like a wrecking ball#but come on#and I'm still working through tears of themis!#will I ever know peace?
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it’s eclipse season and my head is getting too heavy to hold high
i feel the touch of the universe intimately enough to crack my skull on the ridges of her fingertips
sadness drapes over and makes me feel small, promises of change begin to feel like threats
will the cosmos ever settle?
#will i ever know peace?#words#lana del rey#writers on tumblr#girlblogging#spilled words#love#heartache#young love#heartbreak#poets and writers#astrology#spilled poetry#words words words#change
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TUMBLR NO
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someone tell me why i get the big sad on a beautiful warm sunny day like today
#literally it was a beautiful warm sunny 60 degree day today#and my brain immediately went: oh you’re gonna be big sad today#and self isolate#and feel hopeless about life#how does that logic work#will I ever know peace?
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and you will find me (i will be waiting)
Summary: The seventeen lives (plus one?) of the spirits of Derek Venturi and Casey McDonald.
Or: Urn actually wrote a scene from each of the eighteen lives of these two spirits that she knows about and humbly requests these characters to let her move onto something else now.
READ HERE ON AO3
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reblogging again bc I got smacked so hard over the head with this today that the webs weaved themselves...
from Thomas E. Yingling, Hart Crane and the Homosexual Text: New Thresholds, New Anatomies
i love you fanfics with rabid intimacy. i love you long and intricate passages about lovers who love with such intensity they want to make a home in the bones of their beloved. i love you insatiable need to get impossibly closer. i love you winter love, cold and intense and all consuming. i love you inherent divinity of lovers who love with such ferocity they want to be the blood pumping in their beloveds veins.
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Everyone's a hot dommy mommy until there's a rat under the sink
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the losing my mind thanks to the new bsd chapter to losing my mind since the english translation of the wha chapter dropped pipeline
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In case you were wondering I'm still thinking about the composition of this shot. The absolute split down the middle between light and dark colors. The way that despite that both sides have their own lights and their own shadows because one cannot exist without the other. The fact Aziraphale's side is a warmer sort of light that compliments Crowley's colors and Crowley's is a blueish sort of dark where the windows even look like tartan. The fact Crowley's side isn't the green dark of Hell and Aziraphale's isn't the sterile white of Heaven but are both shades shifted slightly to the left into something distinct and totally their own. It's balance - even in the middle of heartbreak - and it drives me absolutely wild.
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Hot to the Touch
(Sunset x Thea)
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#my art#fanart#the grand galloping 20s#illustration#rarijack is my funny goofy ship your american drama “the fashionista falls for the farmgirl!”#but twiset is my pull at your heartstrings drama romance shit#at least for this au#what if thea was the only one who could calm sunset's rage#what if sunset knows she should hate thea for “replacing” her for being the witch she was supposed to be but she can't bring herself to#what if thea was the guiding star who saves sunset's soul and brought laughter and peace and love back into her jaded tired life#what if they loved each other more than they ever thought they could but it wasn't meant to last. sunset must leave and thea must stay.#what if i ran off a bridge
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Glamrock freddy looking kinda zesty in that pose lmaoo.
Now they can look zesty together
#ask reply#was this on purpose? perhaps…#I’ll never tell..#gotta love when animatronic men do a silly lil peace sign#Will I ever draw them together? who knows#Freddy and Bonnie legally always gotta match#they are buddies they are pals#what’s better than this? just guys being dudes
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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been thinking about these two a lot lately
#you ever think about what could have been?#what was done to these two when they put epsilon in wash's head#it was terrible and it connected them in a way but how do you even put it into words?#i wish they'd gotten more time to talk about it#so now i have to make up for it by drawing it#rvb#red vs blue#agent washington#rvb church#rvb epsilon#my art#i dont know if this is ship art but you can interpret it however you want#im just thinking. the little peaces they've left in each other
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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