#wiggly gets one (1) hour of sleep a night

[itsdefinitely]

May..may I ask for kid!webby and teen!wiggly…./nf

piggy back rides

[penascigarette]

Smooth Operator Ch 1. A New Client

Joel Miller x f!phone sex operator

➴wc: 6.7k | summary: You unexpectedly find yourself drawn to a new client during a late-night call, who ignites a surprising wave of desire within you. As you engage in a steamy conversation, you realize this encounter is unlike any you've had before, leaving you eager for more and questioning the boundaries of your professional life.

➴warnings: mdni, phone sex, mxm phone sex, fxm phone sex, m&f masterbation lots of dirty talking, use of princess, shitty moodboard

➴an: hi! i hope you enjoy the first chapter of the first fic I have ever posted. if I have missed any warnings please let me know. feedback is super appreciated! now I will go run and hide lol. and a big tysm to @saradika-graphics for making such lovely dividers!

masterlist | series masterlist | pt. 2

You love sleeping, and just as passionately, you love your bed. Whenever you wake up in the morning, you spend at least ten minutes wrapped up in your duvet, savoring the warmth and comfort as you tease yourself with the idea of a nap.

This morning is no different. The sun shines outside, making your dark purple curtains look lighter than they actually are. If you open your eyes, you know you'll see dust particles floating through the air.

You take a deep breath through your nose and immediately wish you'd opened your windows to let in some fresh air. But you never do, even though you think about it every morning. It's too risky. Open windows are an open invitation to your worst fear—spiders.

Just the thought of their tiny, hairy bodies and long, wiggly legs sends a shiver down your spine. You pull the duvet tighter around your shoulders, practically imagining the creepy crawlies on your skin.

And of course, that's when your roommate, Elliot, decides it’s the perfect time to tickle your ear with one of his long, pink, kinky feathers—used for who-knows-what.

You scream, jump, and scramble off the bed like it’s suddenly caught fire. Your eyes—probably bloodshot with dark bags underneath—narrow at the grinning culprit, who is currently doubled over in a fit of laughter on the right side of your king-sized bed.

“What the fuck,” you huff, too tired to find any humor in this. You were so warm and cozy, and now that feeling is ruined for the next twenty-four hours. “You’re a real dick, you know that?”

 “Y-your face!��� he chokes out between giggles. He looks far too fresh-faced for someone who’s just rolled out of bed. Still in his pajamas, his messy hair—short on the sides with a wave on top—looks like it hasn’t seen a brush this morning.

“It's not funny!” you argue, your voice rising over the sound of his laughter. You’re this close to stomping your foot at him. “I thought you were a spider!” Standing there in nothing but pink pajama bottoms and a black strap top, your skin prickles with goosebumps. Yet again, you curse him for ruining your warm, safe burrito.

That only makes him laugh harder. It’s hard to believe this man-child is twenty-eight years old when he acts less than half his age most of the time.

At the sound of his snort, you feel your lips twitch against your will. No, you’re pissed at him—there’s no way he’s going to make you laugh. But very quickly, you’re losing the battle. Have you ever tried not laughing with someone who has an impossibly contagious laugh? It’s damn near impossible.

“Whatever!” you say, rolling your eyes as a reluctant smile finally breaks across your face. You cross your arms over your chest, trying to look stern, but Elliot knows he’s won this round

“It’s getting late,” he says, still chuckling. His green eyes are watery from laughing, making them sparkle as he grins at you. Rolling onto his left side, he props his head up with one hand—the one holding the feather—while his other hand runs through his sandy-brown hair, slicking it back. “And you slept through your alarms again, so I thought I’d help you out.”

Damn, have you really? It wouldn’t be the first time. Waking you is like trying to wake the dead.

“Oh,” you say sheepishly. Fair enough, he had to wake you, but—“Did you have to use your kinky, sex feather...thing?” You shiver in disgust. “Who knows where that’s been.”

He shrugs innocently, twirling the offending object between his fingers. “Nowhere gross...” His eyes flick up to yours, and he smiles once more. “Only up Danny’s ass.”

Your eyes widen, and you splutter. “What? Oh, my god—Jesus, that’s just—” You gag in the back of your throat. “You said it hadn’t been anywhere gross!”

He laughs again, sitting up. “I was telling the truth. Danny’s ass was far from gross.” A faraway look crosses his face. “It was heaven,” he muses wistfully before frowning. “God, I miss him.”

“Oh, honey,” you soften immediately, making your way to the bed and crawling toward Elliot to offer some comfort.

You know Danny and Elliot’s breakup was hard on him. He’d been completely in love with that man and was about to ask him to move in—with you both—when Danny decided to end the year-and-a-half relationship. It just wasn’t working was his excuse, but Elliot later found out the truth when Danny updated his Facebook page: he’d left Elliot for someone else.

“He didn’t deserve you,” you say, trying to make him feel better as you drape an arm around his shoulders. Sitting back on your heels, you add, “He was a dick for what he did. You shouldn’t be sad. He’s the one who lost someone who loved him. The only thing you lost was—”

“A twat-waffle who didn’t deserve me, I know,” he cuts you off, reciting your usual line before you can finish. You’ve said it enough times in the past three months since the breakup that he knows it by heart. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but...doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

“I know,” you respond quietly, your thoughts drifting to your own breakup. It’s been over a year now, but the pain still lingers. Your ex had been your first boyfriend—hell, your first everything. You’d met when you were seventeen, and you moved in with him before your next birthday. Everything happened so fast, and you didn’t see the cracks until it was too late. “But we have each other, right?” you say, giving Elliot a little shake.

He glances at you, his expression vulnerable. Big eyes, plucked thin eyebrows, a slight bump on his nose from when a bully broke it in his teens, full lips, high cheekbones, and when he smiles, dimples form on his cheeks.

“Yeah?” he replies, hopeful. “Even if I wake you up with a feather that’s been up my ex’s ass?”

You roll your eyes, pulling away to thump him on the arm. “Fucker,” you mutter as he starts giggling all over again. “Remind me why I love you?”

Grinning, he reaches into the pocket of his pajama shorts and pulls out his phone. "Because I'm adorable," he answers distractedly as he stares at the screen. "Oh, my first caller of the day! And it's Simon," he whispers the last part to you as if Simon could hear. "He sounds like a whale when he comes, but boy, does he have a gorgeous sex voice," he informs you. You snort as he accepts the call. "Why hello there, lover."

While Elliot makes himself comfortable against your pillows, you climb off the bed and head toward your wardrobe. You already have your outfit in mind—a pair of leggings and a plain white shirt.

"Mmm, that sounds so sexy, baby," you hear Elliot purr in the background, and you smile, shaking your head. You can’t imagine what people would think about you being in the same room as your guy roommate while he talks dirty to one of your clients, meanwhile, you're getting changed in the corner.

It’s a strange situation, to say the least.

As you remove your shirt with your back turned to Elliot, you can’t help but listen in to the conversation.

"I'd love to touch your nipples," Elliot hums behind you, getting into character. You know how much he loves talking dirty to guys. It’s a turn-on for him. Unlike you, who only really enjoys sex if it’s with someone you love. Elliot is way more adventurous and has had more one-night stands than you can count. "I'd love to stroke them, caress them, lick them. . .”

"Suck them," you add when you hear Elliot hesitate. You pull the straps of your bra up your arms and hook it at the back. 

“Oh, and suck them," Elliot says as you pull your top on.

Since Elliot is still fairly new to this, he needs help sometimes. His situation had been very similar to yours—a broken-up relationship, no job, and forced to move back in with his mum until someone came along and gave him hope. For Elliot, that person was you. For you, that person was your boss, Jane.

Elliot's voice lowers as he talks to his client. "Your body is so pretty, honey. I can't wait to trace my tongue up and down your belly, and then start going lower and lower until I reach your—”

You cough quietly to yourself, trying to hide your smile as you change into your leggings and slip on a pair of fluffy pink socks. You’ve heard Elliot talk dirty loads of times, and he’s heard you talk dirty just as many. Part of training him was him having to listen in on your conversations, and then you monitoring his. Neither of you gets embarrassed around it anymore. It’s more amusing, to be completely honest.

Deciding to leave Elliot to it, you grab your phone off your bedside cabinet and quietly tiptoe to the door. Before you leave, you look over to Elliot and mouth, Coffee?

He nods enthusiastically at you and mouths back, Yes, please!

You’re halfway down the steps when you rub your eye and feel the crumbly sensation of mascara under your fingertip. You’ve forgotten to take your makeup off the night before. You curse to yourself before heading back upstairs to fetch a makeup wipe.

When you reach your room once more, Elliot looks at you questioningly before he notices your face. His lips curl into his mouth in an attempt not to laugh. You roll your eyes and put your middle finger up at him before heading over to your dresser, which sits directly opposite your bed. You open the top drawer and feel through the ridiculous amount of makeup and beauty products you’ve collected over time. As your fingers search, your eyes stare forward at your flat-screen TV mounted on the wall. You can see Elliot's reflection.

"God, you feel so tight around me," Elliot is telling his customer, and you bite your lip in an attempt not to laugh. Finally, your fingers grip the packet of wipes, and you pull them free. "I'm gonna come inside of your ass so damn hard—," Elliot is cut off by a muffled roar, and you turn to look at him questioningly.

He is still sitting on your bed, back against the pillows with one hand holding the phone far away from his ear. He has an uncomfortable look on his face, and it’s then you realize the noise has come from the phone. Or, more accurately, the noise is the loud, animal-like groans of a man coming hard.

Oh my god," you whisper to him quietly, now understanding what Elliot had meant by Simon sounding like a whale when he came.

Elliot uses his other hand to cover the bottom half of the phone, preventing Simon from hearing you speak. "Every. Damn. Time," he replies just as quietly, looking so serious it makes you giggle. He cracks his own smile before bringing the phone back to his ear. "Oh, that sounded like a good one, baby."

You’re glad Simon isn’t one of your callers because you’re not sure you’d be able to stay professional with that sound in your ear. You take care of your makeup before finally getting started on coffee.

Your living room and kitchen are all in one room. The only thing separating the rooms is the counter you eat at. Silver stools with black padded seats sit underneath, four of them for when you have guests over.

You walk past the L-shaped sofa and the counter. Once the coffee is on, you get started on breakfast. You decide on some cheesy, ham-scrambled eggs. Just as you start mixing the ingredients, your phone vibrates where you’ve placed it on the counter. You lean over far enough to see the screen. When no name appears, only a number, you figure it must be a new client since you save existing clients in your phone book.

You accept the call and bring it to your ear. "Hey there," you purr in your sexy voice. You never thought you had one until Elliot pointed it out to you. According to him, it’s a hot one too. "Tell me, gorgeous, what’s your name?"

"Josh." He’s breathing heavily, sounding as if he’s already started the party without you. "I-I'm new to all this…phone stuff," he informs you.

"That's fine, Josh," you say with a slight smile. "My name's Angel, and I’m going to take care of you, all right?" Your name isn’t Angel, but for safety reasons, you’re Angel as far as your customers know. And yes, you’re well aware of how clichéd it is.

"Yes," he tells you, his voice rougher than before. He’s probably getting more excited. Now, all you need to do is find out what he likes.

"Tell me, honey, you like it hard or soft, hm?" you question just as Elliot’s footsteps sound on the stairs.

"God. Hard. I like it hard," Josh answers. "I like it when you take control, with a little pain. Yeah, I like that a lot." In the background, you can hear the sound of his hand working his dick. At least you know he’s enjoying himself.

"Okay, Josh," you nod to yourself, knowing exactly where to go from here. Elliot appears in front of you, his lips forming an 'o' shape when he sees you’re with a client. You nod your head toward the food you’ve been preparing, signaling him to take over as you move away from the counter and toward the living area. Elliot passes you on the way, his hand patting you on the shoulder.

You flop over the arm of the chair and onto the sofa, landing with a bounce on your back. "The first thing I want you to do is to strip for me, now," you order him, reaching toward the coffee table when you spot a magazine there. You bring it over to you and open it. "Are you naked yet?"

"Almost," he practically gasps to you. You can hear some more shuffling, and then he's telling you, "Yes, mistress, I'm naked."

Mistress? You sigh internally. You seriously can't believe how many men are into the whole dominatrix kink. In the beginning, it was kind of fun, but by now, it’s getting pretty old.

Mentally awakening your inner dom, you relax further into the sofa and flip through the magazine. "Good boy," you coo, finding a 20 Sex Tips for Women article. Huh, how fitting. "Now, here's what I want you to do, and you better listen closely, pet."

The call ends up lasting 2 minutes and 28 seconds. Not bad for a newbie.

________

“I might have a date this weekend," Elliot mentions casually, making you glance over the top of your book at him, eyebrows raised.

A few hours have passed since breakfast, and you've had at least seven phone calls since. The two of you are relaxing in the living room, you on one side of your L-shaped sofa and Elliot on the other.

"And why is this the first I'm hearing of it?" you respond, feeling rather hurt. You tell each other everything. You know the penis size of every boyfriend he's had. How can he share that information so easily yet let something like a date stay secret?

He cringes, and you just know you're not going to like what's coming next. "Because..." he hesitates, takes a deep breath, and rushes out, "BecauseitswithDanny." He says it so fast it almost doesn't register, but the name Danny sticks out like a sore thumb.

"What!?" you exclaim, book falling forgotten onto the floor as you sit up. You're completely shocked, and you imagine your expression says everything before you even open your mouth. "How can you—why would you want to after what he did?" You can't understand what's going through Elliot's head, but you seriously want to knock some sense into him.

"I tried hinting to you this morning!" Elliot tells you, sitting up. The magazine he'd been reading earlier falls onto his lap, his attention now completely on you. "I told you I missed him!"

You scoff at that. "A hint is, 'Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of going on a date with my ex.' Not, 'I'm going to tickle you with Danny's ass-feather, complain about missing him, and hope that you get the hint that I'm going out with him this weekend despite the fact he broke my heart!'" You take a deep breath, oxygen running low after that rant. "Look, I know it's none of my business—"

"Of course it's your business. You're my best friend."

"—I just don't want you to get hurt," you continue as you both stare at each other with similar expressions. You're both desperate for the other to understand how you're feeling without wanting to cause any upset. "I love you, honey...and it destroyed you when he left."

"He said he's sorry," Elliot tells you quietly, making you realize just how much they've been talking. A pang of hurt goes through your heart, knowing that Elliot felt like he couldn't talk to you about this. "He said it was a mistake, one he wouldn't make again. But I don't want to jump back into things so...I told him we'll start slow."

"Well," you nod slightly. "That's something, I guess." It comforts you to know that he isn't rushing into the relationship again. Maybe, if they start from scratch, it could work this time. Unfortunately, your gut tells you different. "I'm going to be honest with you, okay?"

Elliot gives you a lopsided smile, causing a single dimple to form on his cheek. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

You smile back for a moment before turning serious again. "I think...you're thinking with your heart and not with your head," you tell him softly. "I think you're in love with him, and you miss him, and you're not thinking rationally about this. Which I totally understand, honey. You love him; I know you can't help that. I just worry that Danny knows how you feel about him, and he's going to use it to his advantage." You watch Elliot's expression closely; he's nodding, letting you know he's listening.

You give your lip a quick nibble before continuing. "But if this is something you feel like you need to do, then I'll support you, you know that."

"Thanks, babe," he responds sincerely, but his eyes are sad. "You're right. I know you're right, but...my heart wants this so damn badly."

"What's your gut telling you to do?" you ask him curiously. You’ve always believed in following your instincts.

"Run," he answers with a painful laugh. "Run and don't look back because he's only doing this as a rebound."

You frown at the information. "Rebound?"

Elliot nods, tears filling his eyes. He crosses his legs underneath him, which surprises you given how skinny his jeans are. One arm goes to the back of the sofa while the other runs through his slick-backed hair. He pulls his lips into his mouth for a moment, a habit of his, before telling you, "Him and Voldemort broke up. Danny says he broke it off because he misses me, but I checked Voldemort's page, and it looks like he's gone and gotten himself a new guy."

You hold back a snort at his nickname for Gary. Voldemort. It suits him. From Elliot's information, you're guessing that Danny is only after a rebound, but Elliot doesn't want to admit it because he still wants to be with Danny.

"Honey..." you sigh, scooting across the sofa so you can give Elliot a cuddle. He immediately returns the gesture but stays seated, whereas you lean up on your knees, making you higher than him. You rest your head on top of his, your arms around his neck. You know you don't need to say anything. Elliot knows he's burying his head in the sand. You think he just needs to find out the hard way; otherwise, he'd always regret not trying.

"I'm here for you," you assure him. This is something he needs to do, and you can't protect him from it, no matter how much you want to.

"Thank you," he tells you tearfully. You can hear how upset he is, but he's trying to hold it back. You squeeze him tighter, wishing you could take away all his pain. "You're the best friend a guy could ask for."

Your lips curve at that. "I know," you joke because really, you're not that big-headed. "Now," you say as you pull away but keep your arms around his neck. "What do you say we turn our phones off for a while, get a Chinese, and watch some crappy chick flicks?"

His eyes are bloodshot and wet with tears, but the smile he gives you is genuine happiness. And that you completely understand because food makes you feel the same way. "I love you so much."

--

The film you end up watching is beyond cheesy, but the humor is awesome, and you find yourself giggling along. Your Chinese food is now in your overly-stuffed belly, and the only things left are the containers sitting on the coffee table in front of you.

You sit side-by-side with Elliot, shoulders touching, a leopard-print blanket draped over your laps. Both of you ordered a beer with the takeaway. It isn’t enough to get you drunk, but that wasn’t the plan since you need to turn your phones back on for work later.

By the time the film ends, Elliot seems to be in a much better mood. Hopefully, he’ll stay that way for the next few hours.

“Gosh,” Elliot starts, reaching behind the sofa to the side table where a lamp sits. He switches it on, making you both blink against the sudden brightness. “I haven’t laughed that hard in ages.”

“Same,” you say, squinting as your eyes adjust. Your muscles feel cramped, so you throw off the blanket and stretch. As you straighten your body, you begin to slide off the sofa but don’t bother stopping it. You let yourself slip onto the floor.

With the coffee table in the way, you have to arrange yourself so you’re lying between the sofa and the table. The wooden flooring is cold against your right arm, while the left side of your body enjoys the comfort of the fur rug.

“Weirdo,” Elliot snorts from above.

“Don’t judge,” you respond, letting out a yawn. Watching films always makes you tired. Maybe it strains your eyes. The floor is oddly tempting right now—so cozy—or maybe Elliot is right, and you’re just a weirdo.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Elliot speaks again, his foot nudging your side. “Can’t sleep now. We’ve got horny customers waiting.”

It’s only then you realize you’ve closed your eyes. “I’m up,” you mumble, forcing yourself to sit upright. The smell of Chinese food still lingers in the air. It was absolutely delicious, but your stomach protests now, begging you not to even inhale another whiff of it. You pat your belly proudly, knowing it did a good job handling the feast.

“Good,” Elliot says. “We gotta get to work.”

Neither of you moves.

“For fuck’s sake,” Elliot sighs after a moment, making you crack a smile. “It’s so much effort. I hate... effort,” he says, spitting the word as if it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

You tilt your head to look at him better. “Just think about all those handsome, horny men stroking their dicks, waiting for you to—”

“I’m up!” Elliot exclaims, jumping to his feet. His hands dive into his pockets as you laugh loudly. “Christ, where’s my phone? My customers need me!” He’s being overly dramatic on purpose, and it makes you giggle even harder.

“It’s not funny!” he tells you, though he’s trying his hardest not to smile. “Who’s going to give those guys their orgasms? This is a serious situation!”

You giggle again, but then you try to put on a straight face. “You’re right. There could be a riot!” you gasp dramatically. “I’ll get on the phone to the prime minister right away!”

“And the president!” Elliot chimes in, but then you make eye contact, and the two of you burst into laughter. Sure, you can act pretty silly sometimes, but it’s healthy. At this age, you feel more mature than most people your age, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be childish once in a while.

Once you both calm down, you know playtime is over. It’s really time to get to work. Sighing, you take Elliot’s hand when he offers it to you, and he easily pulls you up from the floor.

“Thanks, kid,” you tell him, standing on your tiptoes to ruffle his hair. You know he hates when you do that.

He lets out a high-pitched squeak and backs away. “You know my rules!”

“No one touches the hair,” you recite dutifully.

“Yes!” he says, rolling his eyes. “And yet you always forget. And what do you mean ‘kid’? I’m older than you!”

“Yes, well, mentally you’re the age of ten, so…”

“Bitch,” he says, lightly punching your arm, and you laugh.

“Is that all you’ve got?” you tease.

He plants his hands on his hips, cocking a hip at you and raising an eyebrow. “Honey, you can’t handle what I’ve got.”

“I’m heading upstairs. Gonna talk dirty to some dudes, grab a shower, change into my pajamas, get some more horny people off, read a book, then go to bed.”

Elliot takes the phone and nods. “Sounds like a damn good plan,” he says, holding up his hand.

You smile and give him a high-five.

--

One of the hardest parts of your job is keeping things fresh and coming up with new ideas. That’s why you love working with Elliot. He’s a guy; he knows what men like, so whenever you feel like you need something different, he’s your go-to.

New customers are always the easiest to please. No matter what you say, it’s fresh to them. Exciting. It’s your recurring customers who require more effort. There are only so many ways to describe a blowjob before it starts feeling repetitive. When you get that feeling of déjà vu, you worry your client does too.

Oh, and trying to figure out what a guy likes? That’s another challenge. Sometimes, it feels like a seriously fucked-up game of I-Spy.

“I spy with my little eye…” Imaginary-you says in a hopeful voice. “A foot fetish? No? Fuck.” You’re rocking back and forth now, losing hope. “I spy with my little—oh, I know! Voyeurism?” you practically beg, thinking about pulling your brains out with a spoon if this doesn’t work. “…Golden showers?”

Okay, maybe you’re being a bit overdramatic, but you get the point. It’s frustrating, especially when the client is shy and doesn’t know what they like themselves.

Deciding you’re getting cranky—probably because you’re tired—you decide to finish half an hour early tonight. You shouldn’t, especially after already losing a few hours of work earlier, but you’ve made enough money to cover your half of rent and bills this month. You’ve still got a week to earn more for food and anything else you need.

So yeah, you’ll finish early.

Yawning, you pull the covers out from underneath your ass before throwing them over yourself. You’re already in your pajamas—a loose pair of pink shorts and a white strap top—and your book sits next to you, waiting to be read.

But just as you pick up your phone, ready to turn it off, a new number flashes on the screen. You stare at it for a moment, wondering if it’s worth leaving. The problem is, with it being a new customer, leaving a bad impression could mean they wouldn’t come back.

“Damn,” you mutter under your breath, knowing the professional businesswoman in you can’t risk losing what might end up being a recurring customer. As far as you know, this phone call could change your career. You snort at that. Highly unlikely, but it’s going to bring in extra money, which is a good enough reason. “Just this last one, then I’m going to bed,” you tell yourself.

You place the earphones back into your ears and press the green button on your touchscreen. “Hey there, handsome.” There’s a pause, and you briefly wonder if they’ve decided to hang up when he finally speaks.

“Hey,” he responds simply, sounding kind of awkward.

“You caught me just in time,” you say naughtily.

“Oh?” he sounds intrigued, though the awkwardness remains. He’s probably just shy or clueless about what to do. “Why is that?”

For a moment, you’re taken aback by how much you’re attracted to his voice. That’s never happened to you before, and he’s barely said five words. Masculine, educated, and gruff. Swoon.

“Um...” You try to get back into character while scolding yourself. The conversation has only just started; you can’t screw it up already. Get your head in the game, girl. “Because I’m wet and needing a man to help me out.” Internally, you wince. That’s pretty weak considering how good you usually are at this.

He doesn’t seem to think so because he releases a sexy, “Shit. I—” He’s breathing heavily, and you wait for him to finish, sensing he has something else he wants to say. “I don’t know if this was a good idea,” he admits after a moment.

Fuck, you’re losing him, and you’re losing him fast. You need to think quickly if you want to keep him on the line. You don’t want to admit it, but your interest in this man goes beyond the money you’re earning from him. He’s ignited something in you. “Wait! Please,” you breathe. “I—I’m so horny. I need you. Please? Just stroke your dick for me. I need it.” There you go; you knew you could do better.

“Damn it,” he hisses, and then there’s the sound of a belt buckle, and you know you’ve got him. “What’d you need, sweetie? Tell me,” he demands, and for the first time since doing this job, you feel a wave of lust hit you.

Swallowing in an attempt to bring moisture back to your dry mouth—it all seems to have headed south, if you know what you mean—you respond truthfully, “You.” Jesus, you shouldn’t be doing this, but before you can stop yourself, your left hand is slipping underneath your strap top and finding your breasts. “I need you, please—” You pause for a second. You don’t know if it will work, but if you’re right about him, this is going to go down a treat. For both him and for you. “—sir.”

And you’re right because he lets out a loud groan, making you squeeze your thighs together in response. Jesus, you haven’t wanted someone this badly in what feels like forever.

“Fuck, you’re going to be such a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

You’re already nodding before he finishes his sentence. “Yes, god, yes.” You move your right hand so it’s also caressing your breasts. In this moment, you completely love your headset, which allows you to talk and touch at the same time.

“Mm, you’re so obedient, baby,” he tells you, approval evident in his husky voice. “Tell me, Princess, tell me are your nipples hard?”

Your pussy clenches almost painfully, and you try to remind it to calm down because it’s only just started. “They’re hard. So hard they’re showing through my shirt.”

You’re getting so hazy with lust you’re not sure what to do with yourself, so you pinch your nipples roughly and almost cry out in frustration, knowing it would be so much better if he were doing it for you.

“Damn, that’s beautiful, sweetheart,” he tells you, and your belly does a funny flip. “You touchin’ them? Want you to roll them between your fingers. Not too hard, just enough pressure to leave you needing more.”

It’s not easy to admit, but you think he’s better at this than you are, and it crosses your mind that you should probably be paying him. “I already am,” you confess with a guilty laugh. “Your voice... it’s, uh, fucking hot.” You hesitate because you’re not sure if you can say that to him. It’s not very professional, but then you remind yourself that you’re only second-guessing it because you’re actually getting off on it.

"You that eager for me, princess?" he sounds pretty damn pleased with himself. "Tell me how it feels. You know, I'm stroking my dick to this. Getting hard over the noises you're making, and the pretty picture you're giving me."

The image of this man, who you are undoubtedly attracted to, stroking his hard cock over the thought of you pleasuring yourself drives you crazy. He seems so generous, something rare nowadays.

"It feels..." you breathe, trying to find the right words. "Like it's not enough. I need more. Christ." You throw your head back against your pillows, frustrated with yourself and the way you're acting. Completely unprofessional.

"Shh," he coos softly. "I've got you. I'm going to take care of you. Okay, princess?" He's so freaking good at this. You're practically shivering in anticipation of what he might say next. "I want you to get naked for me. And tell me, baby, you got any toys?"

"Um," you think about his question as you pull your strap top over your head. It gets caught on the earphone wire. "Wait a second." You quickly untangle yourself before placing the earphones back into your ears. Moving on to your shorts, you push them eagerly down your legs. "Yes, I have one of those little bullet vibrators."

"Good. I want you to get it for me, princess."

You bite your lip for a moment, feeling extremely dirty about what you're about to do. "Yes, sir..." you say before reaching toward your side cabinet and opening the bottom drawer. In an old, tiny, purple purse with a single zip sits the bullet. You take it out before getting comfortable on the bed once more. "I've got it."

He hums in approval. "Now, I'm more than happy to go slow, make this last, but I'm sensing that my girl wants to come hard and fast, am I right?"

You suck in an unsteady breath. Being called his girl really shouldn't make you feel as giddy as it does. Why and how does a complete stranger have such an effect on you? You're never one of those girls who fall for a man's charm easily. Yet here you are, swooning over a guy because he's good at talking dirty and has a sexy voice.

Apparently you were easier to seduce than you originally thought.

"Yes," you choke out, wondering if you'd wake up if you pinched yourself hard enough. You wouldn't try it, though, just in case you were dreaming. You really aren't ready for it to end. "God, yes."

"All right then," he chuckles, the sound warm. "I'll do what you want this time. Next time, what I say goes, okay, princess?"

Before you have a chance to respond, he's giving you more orders, and in no way are you complaining.

"I want you to spread your pretty little thighs for me, baby." His voice, and the way he's breathing, gives you the impression that he's getting just as excited as you are.

"Okay," you squeak rather embarrassingly. Cool air hits your most sensitive area as you do what he orders, your hands resting against the inside of your thighs, fingers clutching your vibrator as you wait impatiently for his instructions.

You have yet to turn the bullet on, but it already feels like your insides are vibrating.

"Now, take your hand and spread your pussy lips for me."

And there you go, once again speechless—and breathless—because of this man and his words. Seriously, he could do this job better than you. You have to admit, you're storing parts of this conversation away for both personal and professional use later on.

Your hands automatically do as he says, your body desperate for some kind of release. You feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start or what to do in order to relieve it. Thank God you have him to guide you; otherwise, you might combust. Then again, if he wasn't here, you wouldn't have this problem in the first place.

"Okay," you breathe, feeling more and more like a client than a sex line operator. But taking control is obviously something he enjoys, so who are you to put a stop to this? What’s the saying? ‘Customers are always right?’ Well, you absolutely, completely, one hundred percent agree!

"Stretch yourself out," he continues, his voice starting to strain. "Force your sexy little clit out of its hood. I don't want it hiding when you start fucking yourself. All right, princess?"

Fuckkk. Just when you think he can't possibly get any hotter, he goes and says that. Your pussy feels like it’s on fire; your clit is so swollen it hurts. You wouldn't be surprised if you came the second you put any pressure on your nub.

"Now," he continues. "Turn your bullet on and press it to your clit. You're not allowed to stop until your legs are shaking and you're calling out my name. Got it?" You can hear how hard he's pumping his dick now. For a moment, you feel guilty. Are you neglecting him? But then you remind yourself again that this is what he wants.

You know you're not going to last long. You're too excited. Not to mention, it’s been a while since you've spent some time with your right hand. You twist the top of your bullet, putting it on the highest speed. You know you're worked up enough to take it; usually, you start on low and build your way up because you're overly sensitive. Right now, you know it won’t be an issue.

The bullet starts to shake violently, but the noise is low, like a quiet buzzing. Your left hand holds yourself open, fingers forming a 'V' and spreading your lips as far as you can, just as he instructed.

You don’t need to tell him what you’re doing; the moment you press the bullet to yourself, a half-gasp, half-moan escapes your lips. You’re right—you definitely won’t last long. The vibrations are intense, and you draw small circles on yourself, pushing yourself even closer to the edge.

“Damnit,” he hisses. You’re quickly learning it’s one of his favorite words. “You sound fucking sexy. Wish I could see you. Watch you,” he inhales sharply. He’s just as close as you are.

“What’s—” you attempt to speak but end up gasping instead. Wetness gathers below, soaking your entrance and trailing toward your clit. The added lubrication lets the bullet slide more freely around your nub, the sensation unbelievable. “What’s—”

“Princess?” he chokes, likely having the same problem as you.

So close now. So fucking close. You just need a little more. The rhythm is perfect, and you can hear him breathing in your ear, letting out the occasional groan. It’s too damn much, but you can’t let yourself go—not without— “What’s your name?”

"Joel."

"Fuck - Joel!"

You see stars, as cliché as it sounds. Your whole body breaks into spasms, your left hand falling to the sheets and gripping the fabric desperately. Your right hand forces the bullet between your slippery lips, and your thighs clamp around your hand. Incoherent words tumble from your mouth: “Oh god,” “Fuck,” and Joel’s name.

As you come back down to earth, you can hear that Joel barely followed two seconds behind.

“Damn it, Princess. You’re so fucking good. Sound so pretty. Done so well,” the words spill from his mouth like sweet wine. He probably isn’t even aware of them. The sound of him fisting his dick is irregular and off-beat. “Fuck. Damn. You’re such a good girl.”

You remove the bullet from yourself—if you leave it there any longer, it’s going to become painful—and let out a giggle. Your cheeks are flushed, your body buzzing with pleasure. Lightheaded and giddy, you think to yourself that this guy must be amazing in bed. “That was fucking amazing.”

“Yeah,” he laughs breathlessly. “You can say that again. I can’t believe I almost hung up.”

“That would have been bad,” you reply, wondering if your heart will slow down anytime soon. “Very, very bad.”

“Oh yeah,” he agrees, then pauses before adding, “Let me ask you something.”

“Go ahead.” You hesitate for only a moment. It’s unusual for clients to stick around afterward, but you’ve quickly realized this guy isn’t a normal caller.

“What’s your real name?” he asks. “No way is it ‘Angel.’” He snorts, finding your alias hilarious.

Is Angel that bad of a name? You think it’s kind of cool. The company is called Angels and Demons, with you being the Angel. Elliot’s alias is Daemon because it’s close to “demon” but sounds way better. When a customer calls, they get an automated voice instructing them to press the number for their chosen operator, complete with a brief description.

You’re losing your train of thought; you can’t give him your real name, can you? It’s against the rules. If Jane found out, she’d be pissed. She wouldn’t fire you, but her anger is almost as bad. With the image of facing her wrath in mind, you tell Joel, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” Your tone is regretful because you’d really like to tell him. “My boss would…it’s against the rules.”

“Ah,” he responds, masking the disappointment. “It’s all right. I understand.”

“Sorry,” you apologize again, hating the idea of letting him down, especially after how amazing he just made you feel.

"Seriously, Princess, it’s fine,” he reassures you, easing the guilt. “I had a really good time tonight. You can bet I’ll be expecting a repeat tomorrow.” You just know that if you could see him right now, his eyes would sparkle with mischief.

Your pussy throbs again just thinking about it. God, he makes you insatiable. “I’m really, really looking forward to it,” you tell him honestly.

“Me too.” There’s a brief pause, then, “Goodnight, Princess.”

“Goodnight, Joel.” Hanging up the phone, you place it against your lips, letting everything sink in. Alone with your thoughts, you can’t believe you just had full-blown phone sex with a client. It’s so unlike you. It’s more like something Elliot would do. Speaking of…

“Elliot, you won’t believe what just happened!” you shout at the top of your lungs.

[shakespearefreak]

VHS Christmas Carols

The long-overdue promised update:

My mother took me to the show; I'd mentioned it to her without much hope, but I forgot that I'd shown her Twisted and Starship on YouTube and she'd really enjoyed both... anyway, it turns out that she's subscribed to their mailing list now, and had already been considering buying tickets for us before I said anything!!!

I could barely sleep the night before, so I got maybe 3 hours of sleep before waking up at 5:00 am so I could leave by 8:00 am (my mother doesn't drive into Chicago anymore, so we drove 1 ½ hours to a train station in IL and took the train for another 2 hours from there). I should have been exhausted, but I was far too excited, so I remained wide awake all day (thank goodness!).

It was wild how almost everything went right... we left my place late, but still got to the train station early; the train was frankly great in and of itself (I'd only ever ridden a train once before, as a kid, and I LOVE it so much, definitely the most comfortable form of travel I've ever taken); the restaurant we'd chosen to get lunch at before the show ended up being literally right next door to the theater, which we didn't know till we got there; the food was great, service was great, pricing was actually quite decent... like, before the show even started, everything went super smoothly.

When we got to the theater, we found out that the accessible seats I'd called in to reserve were actually basically front row (slightly to one side, but not even too much)! We had a great view, and the actors even kinda interacted with us a couple times!!! It was SO wild seeing the cast in person; I kept remembering that this was LIVE, the actors were RIGHT THERE, not on my computer screen, and being shocked and thrilled all over again.

The production was so stellar. My mother and I talked about it afterward, and neither of us could pick a favorite actor or scene. (The only thing we disagreed on was that I was a big fan of Meredith's Marley, and she was less enthusiastic about that particular scene.) Even in "Gift of the Magi," which has always been one of my least favorite Christmas stories, the portrayal of the main couple was just so heartfelt and charged with chemistry that I teared up a couple of times. I truly think StarKid's take helped me understand the moral a lot better than reading the original story.

The audience was really cool too, and everyone was super friendly. I spoke with someone who had been to ELEVEN(!) performances of VHSCC over the years, and when I went to compliment a kid with an amazing Ghost of Christmas Present cosplay, I noticed that their sibling was dressed as one of Wiggly's Sniggles from Black Friday!

I really wanted one of the handmade wooden ornaments that Meredith showed in her recent vlog, but apparently those all sold out in the first 10 minutes! Still, I got some cool merch: a Jacob Marley pin and a sticker sheet (which I used to decorate my phone case for the holidays). The merchandise was shockingly affordable, too... the metal pin was only $10!

The only thing that could have made it more perfect was if I'd gotten to meet the cast afterward, but they didn't do a stage door greeting (which is absolutely their right, but I am kinda sad I didn't get to meet them, especially Meredith, who I may be a teensy bit obsessed with after seeing her perform in person). Even so, on the train ride home, I kept wondering if I'd dreamed the whole thing, because it seemed too good to be true.

Oh, and not directly related to the show, but I feel like seeing the show gave me the courage to do these things: I used the Men's bathroom at the theater (I asked first — didn't wanna get kicked out — and they told me it was absolutely fine) and no one gave me a hard time; and on the drive back from the train station, I stood up to my mother about some stuff (she's kind of... very TERF-y, so some of it was about trans rights, and some of it was about Black people getting to dictate how they talk about racism and how someone can be prejudiced against White people, but not racist against White people), and I'm pretty dang proud of how I worded things, as well as that I kept my cool, because a lot of the time I find it hard not to lose my temper around her when we talk about certain subjects.

It was wonderful. Like, not perfect, because nothing is, but almost perfect. (That line from Happy Birthday, Addy! about an "almost-perfect day" kept playing in my mind that night in bed.) It was honestly one of the best days of my life thus far.

[specsforwoo]

Son of Notus | Demigod!Ten

Parent Deity: Notus ( God of the Southern Winds)

Allegiance: Aether

asldkfjaslkj Airhead much

Okay he is actually really smart

But he hates showing it because he doesn’t want to be stuck up

Like top of his meteorology class

But also top of of his modern dance class

He really likes dancing

It makes him feel like he is flying

Which is the best feeling in the world if you ask him

Kinda found out he was a demigod on accident, but he doesn’t even know he is a demigod asldfkgj

LIKE IT WAS A MAJOR ACCIDENT

So maybe he got a little too heated in an argument and a desk was flown into a wall

And he didn’t touch the desk

Notus is known for being the most temperamental of the Wind Gods

And it definitely passed on to his son

Oops

But he is also probably one of the most laid back of his friends beside Johnny

His personality really changes depending on who he is around

He likes to act silly around Taeyong and Yuta because seriously those two need to take a chill pill and down it with a Piña Colada

But when he is around his half-siblings and younger demigods he turns really protective really fast

And when he is around say Johnny or Chenle or Haechan he becomes the somber one because someone needs to stay calm when those three are together

So he actually got brought to camp rather forcefully

Because apparently when a monster is hot on your tail it tries to directs you to other demigods

Which is exactly what happened

Remember that desk that flew into a wall, well the person he was arguing with was actually a cyclops shrouded by the Veil

Good job, Ten

And the monster chased him all the way to the camp

But like he wasn’t claimed yet and had only known about his powers for a few mere hours, the poor boy

So he crossed the borders to camp and suddenly the cyclops stopped chasing after him? But he was open in the middle of the woods?

Until he turned around and he saw this huge green field with a pavilion and a lake and what looked like 50+ cabins in the distance and an amphitheater

And he was even more terrified because what in hell is this place and how could I not see it before

And suddenly this young girl who was probably around 5 years old with green skin came up and latched onto his leg

And now he’s even more scared bEcAUSEe GreEEN SkiN

But then a normal human walks up to him and sees the cyclops outside the border and kinda just goes oh, new demigod? Have you been claimed?

And honestly he is ready to pass out

Which he does

So apparently after he passed out (the little girl started crying because the cute man is hurt) that random demigod called for help and helped carry him to the pavilion before calling the Apollo/Achelios Camp Leader to check him out

After he woke up it took him a realllllly long time to process everything

And that night when he went to sleep in the Hermes cabin he was still super confused and kinda scared. Because did his mom know where he was? His cellphone dropped into a river while he was being chased. Did he even know where he was? Was he a freak? A million thoughts were running through his head at once

After barely sleeping a wink he woke up to an blow horn and 3 campers cackling around his bunk

Which got him mad and when he clenched his fist the blown horn popped

Oops

So basically he was in the Hermes cabin for around 3 months because no one had claimed him but he had also shown powers limited to demigods so he definitely wasn’t an outsider

And he actually got into the swing of things

Archery was cool, he was okay at it

He didn’t like swords that much but he could survive

But wow, flying on a pegasus? That was the best feeling in the world

He loved the go to the track and fly around after dinner until midnight

And suddenly one day while he was training with his pegasus, Tadd, he got bucked off the saddle while everyone was watching

It was at least 30 feet high

And he landed on his damn feet

And the next thing he knew he had a shining silver cloud erupting in flames over his head

And a voice in the back of his middle, deep, gruff and spiky was talking to him about how he was ready to face the challenges as the son of a god, a specific god: Notus

And Ten was really happy, so was everyone else because 1) they had never had a son of Notus here before and 2) Everyone could tell Ten couldn’t wait until the day he found out who his father was

So Ten has probably been at this camp the longest except for Jaemin but that’s a long story

And the one thing he does do during the summer is go out into society to look for other demigods

Which was how he met you. He had tracked you to a small town outside of Seoul and you were just like any other person

Music blasting in your ears as you walked down the street, humming along, eyes glued to your phone

And he almost thought that he had tracked the wrong person

Until he noticed your little obsession with gold.

Not like you were robbing banks and jewelry stores but as he got closer to you in order to bring you to the camp he realized you like to sew clothes with gold colored thread, Your jacket had gold embroidering. Your phone case was gold

When he brought it up you just laughed and said that your mom had told you all your life that gold was your dad’s favorite color and for a while you used to use it to give a connection to him but soon it became your favorite color as well.

And one day while he was meeting you up for coffee at a local donut shop, he noticed a shadow out of the corner of his eye but decided to ignore it

2 hours later he was gripping your hand running down an alleyway trying to pull drachma out of his pocket so he could hitch a ride back to camp and away from the Griffin currently chasing you down

Apparently waiters don’t like it when you try to send cold coffee back

He finally got you in a Hermes Cab and spent the entire time to the camp explaining what had happened

Let’s just say you took it a lot better than he did and didn’t have to be carried inside the camp borders

He was about to take you to the Hermes cabin when a Sun and Lyre appeared simultaneously above your head

You had been claimed by Apollo in the mere 5 hours you had been aware that you were a demigod

And Ten had to admit, he was jealous, why did he have to wait 3 months when you had to wait 5 hours

But he was also happy because he knows the feeling of finding a missing part about the puzzle that was a demigod’s life

So he goes and introduces you to your half-siblings and you immediately fit in

And he usually leaves new campers here, their cabins will take care of them now, but he doesn’t want to leave you

But has to because Johnny keeps Iris messaging him from the Aether Cabin about some party he needs help setting up

And to his dismay it seems like you don’t even notice him leaving

Or even his presence for the next 3 weeks because you have been getting along with your siblings really well

But one day Johnny is throwing another party and it spread across the entire camp, but he just wasn’t feeling it

He seemed even more bitter about the party than Taeyong

And you were there of course, talking with Sicheng (your Camp Leader) and Taeyong but kept noticing Ten just sitting in the corner reading a book? It was about modern dance okay

So you excuse yourself from Tae and Sicheng to go and plop down next to Ten

They were both totally giving you wiggly brows and side eyes

But he looked up from the book, startled to see you sitting across from him

You were the first one to speak

You're usually the life of the party, what’s going on?

Just not feeling it

It was easy to tell he didn’t want to talk about it, at least to you

So right as he went to pick up the book again you cut it

ThankYouForFindingMeAndBringingMeHereAndIReallyOweYouBecauseYouSavedMyLifeAndIDon’tKnowHowToRepayYou

*Breathe*

AndI’mEvenMoreSorryAboutAvoidingYouBecauseIDidn’tKnowWhatToSayAndYouKindaMakeMeNervousBecauseIThinkYouAreCute

And you realized what you said right after you said it causing you to jump out of your seat, racing pasting a chuckling Sicheng and Haechan while blushing

Did I mention Ten is also Track Captain at camp because Wind Gods are super fast and that passes on to him and Johnny just hates running

So he caught up to you right in front of the lake holding your arm

I think you are cute too

And he leans down, kissing your cheek

And he walks you to the Apollo Cabin, kissing your cheek again before going back to his own cabin

It’s the first night since his first day at camp that he can’t sleep

But he doesn’t mind it this time

They think I’m cute too. *cue unmanly giggling at 4 am followed by a pillow thrown from Johnny’s side of the room*

And the next day it’s back to when you didn’t know you were a demigod

You and Ten are practically joined at the hip

While he helps you with agility and reflex you help him with archery

And you both are great flyers

And while he practices dance, you play the harp to create simple melody for him to follow

You guys really just compliment each other in every way

Making you the perfect team

Especially when chariot racing is on the table

You are a much better marksman than he is and he is a much better driver than you lol

So basically every time you 2 team up for racing

No one else wants to join because they know you will win

So the Camp Director forces you two to be on separate teams with in your own cabins

Which means you are paired with Sicheng, who is a great driver and an even better shot

And Ten is stuck with Johnny, dear god

Actually Johnny is really good with a Javelin and Sword so you know you are going to have to watch out for him

And you two get competitive

Remember how I said you make a perfect team?

You might make better enemies lmao

Ten tried to drive your chariot off the track so you Stuck a javelin in his back piston

Sicheng fired a flaming arrow into their hold so Johnny sawed through half of your reins

In the end you won

Shhhh, Ten wants a recount

Okay but he is really excited, jumping out of the chariot and racing over to you while Sicheng is trying to pull at your arm to go to the pavilion to be crowned with a golden laurel

And Johnny is silently sulking on the second place pedestal

But once you and Sicheng are hoisted onto the first place platform and you are crowned he is screaming and hollering and just overall being a really supportive boyfriend

But when you guys go onto the track competition he whoops your ass and doesn’t think twice about it

But you are there in the crowd screaming and hollering and being an overall supportive girlfriend

And later that night the camp decides to hold a sorta dance to commemorate the competitions and their winners

And everyone takes it seriously

Like after a straight week of pushing each other into mud and water and falling of pegasi in the sky and pushing your way through monster infested forests

Everyone wants to dress up and be slightly classy

So the Aphrodite and Eros houses have had boys and girls alike weaving in and out of their common areas because they offered to help everyone look their best for this event

And you and Ten agreed to not reveal your outfits to each other until you met up at the pavilion

And you were in a light blue dress that you got an Aphrodite kid to enchant so it would look like clouds moving around the ripples in the dress

And Ten was in a flowy gold top, half tucked into slacks and a couple buttons undone. An Eros kid temporarily threaded his hair with gold

BEST DRESSED COUPLE ANYONE

So basically he forces you into the middle of the dance floor and does that cheesy slow dance in the middle of everyone else jumping around and headbanging

But DJ!Mark totally notices so he switches the song to a self composed one that has a nice melody to it and soft vocals so he can create the mood for you two

And you are both slightly swaying to the music, nothing too fancy, definitely not what everyone was expecting from Ten

But you have you head on his shoulder, his hand encaptured in yours with his other on your waist as you both whisper a small conversation

And he mentions he’s met Apollo once

Which totally shocks and scares you… because he’s met your dad? The god?

But he just chuckles under his breath, and whispers in your ear about how he made Ten promise to never hurt you or he would face the full wrath of a god

Which got you even more scared because Ten… pls dont get hurt

But he laughs under his breath again and lets go of your hand to pull something out of his back pocket

And it’s a charm bracelet with a lyre and a cloud on it with a cursive T too

And as he slips it onto your wrist

He whispers about how he told your dad that he would quicker marry you than hurt you

a n y w a y s

Ten is a really soft bf and demigod and person in general

Unless it comes to hurting someone he loves

Then he can and will seriously injure someone

But other than that

Everyone looks up to him

Not just because he has been there forever

But because he has shown he has what it takes to protect the camp and how much everyone in it means to him

Especially you

[tae-cup]

Fragments of Skin and Alcohol | JJK

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You don’t remember much, but you remember them...

Genre: Choose your own adventure, amnesia au, fluff

Warnings: Alcohol and cursing (honestly, it’s really not that bad)

Rating: PG-13? 

Word Count: 2k Words

A/N: My inspiration after writing the past four stories every single day for four days straight made my brain flop but also run with more ideas at the same time oh my god. A real mess of a timeline I’ve got going...

Someone tell me why I wrote the aftermath of a breakup before the actual relationship? My timeline writing actually went 7, 2, 1, 3, 6, 5, 4. I know I said I’d publish in chronological order, but I take it back. You guys are smart people.

Header by the talented and amazing @dnrequests​

Timeline Place: 6

Other:

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

        You were suffocating, swaying amongst the crowd, the bass rattling your bones. The stench of sweat slicking down skin and alcohol burning throats filled the air. The flashing lights left your eyes to adjust over and over, the alcohol buzzing in your veins and making you stumble. Yeah, you were a little buzzed, but not too bad. 

       You usually didn’t drink away your problems, but you had a big problem. The ending of a long term relationship was always hard, especially when you had been so sure that you loved him. You grimaced at the thought of his face and clutched your cup tighter, taking a large swig. 

       You made your way to the edge of the room, leaning against the wall to get your bearings. Your makeup was probably ruined and the dress your friends had made you wear didn’t leave much to the imagination. 

     You had never been a fan of dresses, often preferring a suit, but they had insisted and you had decided to get out of your comfort zone a bit. You were a little jealous at how easily they were able to go out and show off everything they got. Jennie was beautiful after all and so were Jisoo and Rose. How did they meet an ugly duckling like you? Who knew. 

     You placed your sweaty palms against the wall, dropping your empty cup onto the ground. A part of you knew you should pick it up, but your mind immediately hissed aw, fuck it. It sounded like something your boyfr-ex boyfriend would chastise you about. And fuck him. 

      But even that was hard to think about because you didn’t hate him. It didn’t even end on a bad note or anything, you both just sort of went your separate ways. While you wallowed in your misery, you didn’t note the figure leaning against the wall beside you. He cleared his throat loudly and you jumped a little, turning to look at him. 

      The man had doe eyes and his hair was swept to one side, the wave hanging in his eyes. You ogled him with no qualms; alcohol was funny like that. Fear? You hadn’t heard of it since...you once again lamented a lost love. The man, however, was well built, with well shaped muscles and a slim waist. You averted your eyes, regaining a sense of dignity. The man looked like...a literal god.

“Rough night?” He asked gently, his voice softer than you expected for his look. He pulled off the edgy vibe well enough. 

“More like a rough life.” You barked without thinking, wanting to slap yourself for how...out of control you felt. 

“Yeah, I get that.” He crossed his arms, eyes glancing over the sea of people. Then he turned to you. 

“Want to head out? Some fresh air would be nice.” He smiled a little, reaching out to touch your arm. 

     Your eyes flickered from his face to his arms, to his hand on upper arm. Then you pulled away, the touch and gesture feeling all too familiar. 

“Don’t do that!” You exclaimed, out of all the thoughts flying through your head. He raised an eyebrow, backing away slightly. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, his voice almost lost in the music. You shook your head, trying to get a grip, trying to think straight. 

“No, no, it’s just….don’t try and pull a fast one on me, okay?” 

“A fast one?” 

“Being all nice and handsome and then turning around, springing a relationship and love confessions all over me like-like-like a...a..” You trailed off, forgetting what you were trying to say. The man seemed amused by this. 

“I won’t, I swear.” He held up his hands. You glanced at his calloused hands, rough and worn. “I’m Jungkook, why don’t I just drive you home?” 

“I’m Y/N...and Why should I trust you?” You crossed your arms, your common sense not completely null. 

“I don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t.” He shrugged. 

“That’s reassuring.”

      But the twinkle in his eye and the alluring nature of his posture pulled you closer. Jungkook didn’t really give off a threatening aura. You finally just nodded and let him lead you through the party. 

“Try anything weird and I won’t hesitate to call the cops.” You clarified. He simply smiled and hummed in agreement. 

       His hands were strong and elegant. It was a thought that hit you quite randomly as you sat in the car. The low rumble of the road below, the silence making your ears ring in contrast to the music of the club, made for a peaceful moment. 

      He focused on the road ahead, not engaging in conversation, but you attributed it to him being a keen observer. You weren’t really in the mood to talk, the high of the night wearing off. 

“You know, when I was younger, my mother always drove me around when I couldn’t sleep. She’d pack a late night snack, strap me into the back, and just...drive.” The man said, breaking the silence. 

     You nodded a little, your hair pressed against the window. The yellowish orange glow of the streetlamps passed you by on the highway. The road was almost deserted at this hour. 

“You look pretty young still, Jungkook, too young to talk about ‘when you were younger’.” You smiled softly. You heard him shift in his seat slightly, taking a glance at you. 

     Then he dipped his head. You watched him turn and indicate out of your peripheral vision. 

“My point is, I like driving. It calms me.” He stated, his voice light and lilting. Another beat. “Tell me something about yourself.”

“Why?” 

“I told you something about me.”

You scoffed but thought for a moment. 

“My friend, Jennie, when we were in elementary school, she accidentally fell off the slide and chipped her front tooth. Good thing it was already wiggly, but it still looked gnarly.” You said. He snorted. 

“Okay, but that’s not about you.” 

“Why do you want to know about me?” You rolled your eyes. 

“I just want to find out more about the beautiful stranger I’m driving home.”

“And maybe I want to find out more about the beautiful man that’s driving?” 

     You watched the corners of his lips pull upwards. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not the best at...talking to people, anyone.” He said sheepishly and the car fell into silence. You waited a few minutes, the alcohol beginning to make you sleepy. 

“I think you’re doing a fine job so far.” You mumbled, but you knew he heard it. 

“Thanks.” 

      You returned to watching the window. The passing cars lit up the interior every now and then. His black leather seats must be hot when it was sunny. You weren’t quite sure why that was the first thing to come to mind, but you weren’t sure why anything was happening.

      The loss of control was exactly what you needed tonight, but it was also such an awful feeling. It made your stomach churn, fearing you might not be able to make the right decisions. You were trusting Jungkook to be an honest man. 

      He slowly pulled into a residential neighborhood, your house nearby. You blinked, seeing the familiar surroundings. You instantly shot up, remembering self defense 101. 

“W-wait, let me out here.” You stuttered. Never let a stranger know where you live. 

    Jungkook didn’t even flinch, remaining in a calm and level tone. His hands were loose on the steering wheel. His eyes didn’t even strain from the road. 

“If you’re worried about me knowing your address, you gave me it at the beginning of the drive.” He said plainly and you let yourself relax. 

    You just needed to remind yourself to kick your drunk self’s ass later. You leaned back and rested your head against the headrest, groaning in frustration at yourself. 

“I really didn’t drink a lot.” You murmured. 

“I can see that.” He replied sarcastically. 

“Seriously!”

“How many drinks did you have?”

“One...two...three...five...I dunno, lost count.” You mumbled, let your eyes flutter closed. You were feeling awfully sleepy. 

       He eyed you out of his peripheral and then slowly pulled up to your house. Then, he parked, went around to the passenger side, and opened your door. You remained still. Jungkook sighed, gnawing anxiously at his lip as he looked from you to your front door.

     The man tapped his foot anxiously. He could carry you inside, but that would mean he A) had your house keys and B) you would let a stranger into your house. Besides, that kind of thing really only happened in fanfiction, right? You didn’t even open your eyes, knowing what he pondered. 

“If you’re thinking of carrying me into my house, bridal style,” You slowly opened your eyes and stretched your arms, your knuckles brushing against the roof. “Then you are sorely mistaken, big guy.” 

      Then you gathered your things, made your way out of the car, stumbling a few steps, and walked to your front door. You fumbled with your keys before finding the right one. Your frustration only grew as the keyhole kept moving. He watched you, amused. 

“Well, little miss, it looks like you’re having some trouble there.” Jungkook swooped in and fit the key to the hole, even helping to turn it. You flushed a scarlet red, and not just because of the alcohol. 

     The quiet street felt so still in that moment. You didn’t dare move or make a sound, lest you disturb the leaves. The soft ding of the car door alarm beeped across the emptiness. You took a deep breath and then turned to face him, your faces a few mere inches apart. 

“Thanks for the ride.” You whispered, voice hushed.

      His eyes searched yours and your lips craved his, your hands wished to roam his body. And damn him for being so alluring to your drunken state, Your eyes flickered to his lips and he didn’t miss the action. It had been a while...it was time to move on, even for a brief moment.

“Can I kiss you?”  He asked, a husky tone to his voice. 

     You answered by leaning in and pressing your lips to his. Your hands moved to his shoulders and his arms fell to your waist. He pulled your body flush against his, fighting for dominance, which you gladly gave. In an instant, he pulled away, let you catch your breath. Jungkook shot you a small smile, far too timid for someone who just kissed you so boldly. 

“The rest will be saved for later, yeah?” He said shyly. 

“Later?”

     He dipped his head and you found yourself smiling, truly, for the first time in months. 

     The next morning, you woke up, head pounding. You yawned, watching as the sunlight filtered through your curtains and then across the wooden planks of your bedroom. You carefully stepped onto the cold floorboards, wrapping a soft robe around your body. 

     With a sigh, you pressed your fingers to your lips. What had you done? Sure, it was a pleasant memory and not unwelcome, the memory of his lips against yours, but was this okay? Moving on, even though it had been months, it still felt like you were cheating. 

     You slipped on your fuzzy slippers and ran your fingers through your hair. Your fingers caught on the loose strands and the knotted ends. Then, you opened the door of your house with a slow creak. There, on your doorstep, was a note weighted down under a stone. 

How about we meet in the daytime? I’d love to get to know you :) - Jungkook 

   You smiled softly to yourself, rereading the simple words over and over again. Yeah, it was time to move on from your last partner. His messy handwriting and even cuter smiley face had you smiling far too wide for so early in the morning. And they say chivalry is dead.

Want to try another path? 

Go Back To The Beginning

[sixsclassic]

It’s Lovely: Part 2

Some more Parrward fluff with Baby Mae. I recommend listening to You Mean the World to Me by Freya Ridings as it’s the song I listened to while writing. 

Also a big shoutout to @modernqueensix for the kind words about the first part and it really was the motiviation I needed to finish the last bit of part 2!

Part 1

Things had moved on rather quickly in Kat’s life since meeting Mae, it was like she put herself in a slingshot and everything was flying by. She finished her first year at university and since she was living with Anne and Catalina, she was already home. She was scared that the end of the school term meant that Cathy and Mae would go back to the town where Cathy grew up but she was rather relieved to find that Cathy had found a job in the city that she’d be working for a while and couldn’t move back home. Since the first meeting of Mae, Kat spent as much time with the two of them as she could. 

They’d go to the park a lot, get lunch, or just spend time at Cathy’s apartment. Mae had even met Anne and Catalina since Cathy insisted on meeting the two and Katherine was sure that she wanted them to meet Mae as well. Kat felt so much love for both Cathy and Mae. It made her heart swell with how happy Mae was to see her whenever she’d come over. The two year old would run over to her squealing her name until Kat could pick her up. They had a special bond that Kat couldn’t explain but her life was starting to make so much sense with Cathy and Mae in it. 

Now it was a special day for Kat, it would be the first birthday of Mae’s that she got to spend with them both. Mae was turning three on August 1st and Kat was really determined to make it a special day for her, as she was learning about everything the little girl liked over the past three months. Kat now found herself sleeping over every once and a while at Cathy’s place and today was no exception. She felt Cathy stir against her as Kat was curled up against her girlfriend’s chest. Cathy pressed a soft kiss to the crown of Kat’s head before untangling herself from Kat’s arms and legs and heading off to the kitchen to start Mae’s birthday breakfast. 

Her little girl loved chocolate chip pancakes and they’d had them for any special holiday since they were Mae’s favorite. This year it felt a little different for Cathy since the previous holidays spent just the two of them and now they had Kat in their lives. It was pleasant, so Cathy continued to make the pancakes as she heard the quiet shuffle of feet from the hallway and she turned to see Mae coming towards her, rubbing her eyes. Her now three year old was dressed in her favorite frozen nightgown and her hair was braided back into two dutch braids. Two dutch braids that Kat had patiently done on a wiggly toddler last night. 

“Happy birthday my princess.” Cathy smiles as she leaned down on her knees and brushed some baby hairs off of Mae’s forehead as she gently kissed each of Mae’s cheeks earning a giggle from the little girl. “Tank you Mama.” Mae says bashfully as she let herself fall into her mother who encased her little one in a hug, placing a few more kisses on the top of Mae’s head. She then settled Mae on the counter as the toddler snacks on some of the chocolate in the bowl Cathy had placed beside the pancake mix. 

A few minutes later Cathy heard another pair of feet shuffling down the hall. Kat exited her room, dressed in one of Cathy’s old band tees and a pair of pajama shorts. Her hair tied back in braids, matching Mae’s since she’d insisted the night before that her Kat Kat match her. “Happy birthday Mae.” Kat smiles, moving to where Mae was as the toddler outstretched her arms towards Kat who took her girlfriend’s daughter into her arms. She gave Mae a gentle squeeze and kissed the little girl’s cheek a few times. “Tank you Kat Kat.” Mae says, now beaming as she saw her favorite two people. “You’re welcome sweet girl.” Kae replies, placing another kiss on Mae’s cheek. Kat then turned her attention to Cathy, giving her girlfriend a matching kiss on her cheek. “And good morning to you my love.” Kat says, leaning her head on Cathy’s shoulder. 

“Good morning beautiful.” Cathy answers as she delivers a soft kiss on Kat’s lips. Kat grinned widely as she danced around with Mae in her arms, making the little girl laugh loudly and Cathy though her heart was going to burst right there, this was the life that she always wanted for Mae and herself, for someone to love them both. 

The morning had gone by successfully, Mae enjoyed her birthday breakfast so much that she wore most of it on her face and her nightgown. It earned her an early bath that day since they were going to be having a few friends over that to celebrate with them for Mae’s birthday. It was going to Jane with Edward since the little boy had turned two in late June and he and Mae had a little playdate the previous month and the two had wanted to have another since, then Cathy had also told Kat to invite Anne and Catalina since they were a part of their family. A few of Cathy’s friends from high school were going to be attending as well, their names being Joan and Anna. As well as three of their friends from their art class, where they’d met were going to be attending as well; Bessie, Maria and Maggie. 

The last three had been the friends that really encouraged Cathy to ask Kat and always held study sessions for the first few months to see how quickly the two were falling for each other. Now they were going to be seeing Kat in a new light, one where she was a part of Cathy and Mae’s life as a big part. The party was scheduled for two and Mae spent part of her early afternoon, napping so that she’d be awake and ready to have fun during her party. 

While she was napping, Kat and Cathy were getting the apartment setup with balloons and other decorations, Kat going to get the cake about an hour before the party started. “It’s looking amazing babe.” Kat says as she wraps her arms around Cathy’s waist, pressing a soft kiss against Cathy’s neck. “I can’t wait for her to see it.” Cathy replies as she looks around the living room that was filled with different frozen characters. 

“She’s going to be so happy to see Olaf.” Kat smiled, “I’m going to go see if she’s up.” 

“Sounds good to me, love.” Cathy replies, as Kat slipped in Mae’s room, finding the tot curled up with her teddy as Kat gently rubbed her back and Mae began to stir. “Hi sweet girl, do you wanna get ready for your party?” Kat asks as Mae rubs her eyes. 

“Yes pwease.” Mae nods as Kat lifts Mae into her arms and the three year old settles against Kat’s chest as she begins to wake up and Kat finds the dress that Cathy had gotten for Mae’s birthday, a simple cornflower blue dress with daisy flowers on it. It was going to look so cute on Mae, so Kat got Mae dressed, finding a white bow to match the dress as she brought her out to the living room. “My princess, you look beautiful.” Cathy smiles. 

“Tanks Mama.” Mae smiles as the doorbell rings and the first set of guests begin to arrive. The party went amazing, Mae spending most of the party playing with Edward, and being so excited at all the cool new frozen toys she’d got. Kat felt so grown up in that moment, like that Mae was her little girl, and it felt special to have some of her friends there to celebrate Mae’s birthday. Probably one of Mae’s favorites was that Anne and Catalina got her tickets to see Frozen on Ice and Kat swore that Mae was going to make herself pass out from all the excitement. 

Later in the night, Mae was asleep right at bedtime, not even needing a bedtime story since she wore herself out from all the excitement. It left Cathy and Kat cleaning up the living room, and noting who gave Mae what so they could write thank you notes to everyone. Finally they were finished and settled on the couch, Kat resting her head on Cathy’s lap who started to play with her hair. “You’re so good with her.” Cathy finally says as Kat glances up at her and before she could get anything else out, Cathy adds, “Move in with us?” 

“R-really?” Kat asks as she sits up and faces her girlfriend. 

“Yes, I mean it.” Cathy nods as a smile grows on Kat’s face. 

“I would love to.” Kat beams as she kisses Cathy softly. 

“Mae loves you like crazy, she was asking me about something the other day and I wasn’t sure when to talk to you about it but now feels right.” Cathy explains. 

“I love her like crazy too, you can tell me anything.” Kat replies as Cathy gently takes Kat’s hand in her’s and gives it a gentle squeeze. 

“She asked me if you’re her other mommy. She sees that other kids at daycare have two parents and she knows that we’re together. I hope this doesn’t scare you.” Cathy says as her cheeks began to turn bright red since it was something she’d been building up the courage to talk to Kat about. 

“I’d love to be Mae's other mommy. She holds a special place in my heart that I can’t explain. Something inside me tells me that I was always meant to find you two and I’d really love to be Mae’s mommy. It would mean the world to me.” Kat smiles as tears start to form in her eyes, she feels so connected to Cathy and Mae since now she’d be something more than Kat Kat to Mae. 

[that-one-fandom-vore-blog]

Quick list of who’s who in the borrower au because I need to get this outta my head!

Hannah: Borrower. Skittish and slow to trust when it comes to anyone who isn’t Lex for the most part, though she does talk more to Ethan than most strangers. She doesn’t go out borrowing much— only with Lex— so when one of her few trips alone end in discovery, she goes into a full panic.

Lex: Borrower. Although she’s the one who taught Hannah the rules of borrowing, she breaks them on the regular to give the kid something to smile about. Confrontational and suspicious of newcomers— especially humans, thanks to the fact that her mother was allegedly eaten by one— Ethan’s on thin fucking ice, though... it’d be easier to hate him if he wasn’t so nice.

Ethan: Human. He really, really didn’t expect to find little people living in his walls if he’s being honest, though he’s very gentle with Hannah. He is, however, standoffish with Lex due to the fact that their first meeting involved a stab wound to the back of his hand from a thumbtack. He leaves stuff out for them and writes notes to Lex and Hannah, though they usually don’t write back.

Tom: Borrower. After his wife died, Tom became a lot more reckless in his borrowing. He doesn’t mean to be so gruff and unapproachable, but Jane’s death left him broken. He’s a distant father, and Emma has to do a lot of his borrowing for him. He’s tangled with Wiggly a few times, and in truth, he wants what’s best for Tim, even though he has a weird way of showing it.

Tim: Borrower. He loves his dad lots, but understands that things aren’t like they used to be, so for the most part, he stays in the walls. Him and Hannah get along okay when they interact, and he adores spending time with auntie Emma.

Becky: Borrower (yes, I know, I changed it). Tom and her had a sort of relationship in the past, however, she ended up leaving to try and broaden her horizons. When her and Tom reunite, it’s bittersweet when she shows up to the apartment and finds him injured. She makes the mistake of asking about Jane.

Frank: Human. Runs a chain of toy stores and keeps a clean apartment. He’s convinced that there are pests in the walls and works his damndest to lay traps to lure them out, and he’s going slowly insane, seeing traps closed and clearly set off with no victims.

Linda: Human. Lives on the top floor with her four (4) boys and her cat, Wiggly. As she is in canon, she’s very entitled and downright rude to everyone else. Sets Wiggly loose in the halls to deal with the mouse problem, and although her house is well stocked, no borrowers dare venture inside for fear of Wiggly.

Gary: Human. His apartment is a mess. He’s seen flashes of borrowers before, but always writes it off as lack of sleep. Wiggly sometimes ends up at his place for the night when Linda forgets to let him back in. Between working toward an official law degree and making a name for himself as the worst attourney to ever live, Gary’s much too busy for talk of borrowers.

Howard: Human. He’s the owner of the apartment complex, and although he enforces a strict no pets rule, he lets Wiggly stay because of the rodent problem they seem to have. Wiggly hates him. All in all a good guy, though whenever he does inspections, he can’t help but notice that there are several mouse holes in the walls that seem almost prescicely made.

John: Borrower. He keeps to himself for the most part, and he’s pretty reckless when he borrows. He’s fought with Wiggly an intense amount of times. He always carries a makeshift grapple hook and bow. He takes a liking to the Foster girls, though once he finds out about the human involvement going on in the apartment complex, he becomes even more withdrawn and elusive.

Sherman: Human. He saw a borrower one (1) time and is now a crazed conspiracy theorist, deadset on trying to capture one. He’ll stop at nothing, though his traps are laughable. The borrowers in the complex like to trip them, just for the hell of it. It’s driving Sherman nuts.

Paul: Human. He doesn’t spend too much time at home, thanks to a stressful office job, but he keeps a tidy apartment and is one of the most plain tenants Howard’s ever had to deal with. When he first discovers Emma, he sort of mentally shuts down for awhile the second she’s under a cup. Paces, grabs his hair, and spits “okay” at three hundred miles per hour.

Emma: Borrower. She’s reckless to an extent, and although she knows she should be careful— seeing as she’s risking the livelihood of every other borrower in the complex— she sort of likes fucking with Paul. When she gets caught, naturally, she flips out and demands to be let go, and she’s surprised to the point of freezing up when Paul actually listens.

Hidgens: Human. Emma’s been discovered by him, though instead of dissecting and hurting her like she thought he would, Hidgens actually becomes a pretty valuable ally. Yes, he’s a little crazy, but he leaves stuff out and he’s nice to talk to. He used to live in Linda’s old apartment, though since it had roof access, he used it for experiments. After being struck by lightning, he was moved down a few floors, and although he’s never been quite the same, he still tries his best to make sure Emma’s comfortable coming by.

Bill: Human. One of the first of Paul’s friends to get introduced to Emma. He’s gentle with borrowers, though he’s much less nervous and more inquisitive than Paul was when he first meets her. He’s not entirely sure what to think about borrowers, but he handles it as well as anyone can.

Charlotte: Borrower. She’s withdrawn, shy, and bad at borrowing, but she’s trying her best to put a good foot forward after narrowly escaping a human that meant her harm. She’s sweet to the other borrowers, specifically latching onto Emma as someone she can talk to. All her clothes are handmade and patchwork— stolen materials— and everyone in the complex has at least one sweater from her.

Ted: Human. He’s newer to the complex, and frankly, fucking hates the rat problem, thanks to hearing scratching in the walls. He doesn’t understand why Paul always gets defensive when he brings it up. His apartment is a complete mess, and he’s allergic to Wiggly. He’s easy to borrow from, seeing as he never keeps track of anything.

Oliver (because a lot of y’all care about him in this fandom, and you can’t be blamed): Borrower with Very Low Blood Sugar. He’s sweet, if not a bit nasally and rude. He truly has kind intentions, though nine times out of ten, he comes off as a know it all. He doesn’t mind— other people only slow him down. He and Lex interact, just because he’s one of the only borrowers she’s met that’s her age.

Wiggly: Linda’s terrible cat.

Apotheosis: Hidgens’ terrible snake.

[mrs--wheels]

I made a human.

Yes, I made a human.  I gave birth to a baby boy!  Here’s my birth story: On Wednesday July 14th I went for my routine 36 week OB-Gyn checkup.  At that visit they did a sonogram and everything looked normal, baby was in the 46th percentile for size.  The Dr. checked my cervix and I was 2 cm dilated already.  My blood pressure was high, which it had been for 6 weeks, but I did not have preeclampsia (yet - I was borderline.)  The Dr. took me off work and said if I did not deliver by next week Thursday July 22 I would need to be induced.  My blood pressure was causing really bad swelling everywhere in my body, but especially my calves, ankles, feet and wrists.  I weighed 251 lbs at the checkup, about 55 lbs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight.  So I went into work with my disability form all filled out and basically peaced out, said goodbye to a few of my coworkers and my boss, and I ain’t lookin’ back.  I went home, much to my husband’s surprise (he was working from home that day.)  I’d like to say I enjoyed the last week of my pregnancy but that’s not entirely true.  I was in terrible discomfort, especially my pelvis: I was having bad pelvic pain & pressure, so bad I could barely walk. The night of Monday July 19th I could hardly walk up the stairs to my bed, it hurt so bad.  I did have surprisingly restful night’s sleep that night, which was good because of what was to come... At 5 am on Tuesday July 20th, I rolled over in bed and felt a wetness.  Unsure if I peed myself or if my water broke, I went into the bathroom.  Clear fluid was running down my legs, and it didn’t smell like pee.  The puddle on my sheets didn’t either.  I called the OB-Gyn’s office from the bathroom. and the Dr. on call told me if contractions started on their own to head into the hospital.  If they didn’t start on their own, head in anyway but wait until after 8:30, 9 am.  So I took a shower, made some toast & a banana for breakfast, and unloaded the dishwasher.  Around 6 am I had my first contractions, but they weren’t too strong and they were about 7 or 8 minutes apart.  I woke up my husband and told him I thought my water broke, and I was having contractions.  He leapt out of bed and into the shower.  As I lay on the bed waiting for him, the contractions were coming closer together (4-5 minutes apart) and getting stronger.  My husband got dressed and I called my mom.  She said she’d meet us at the hospital and we grabbed the overnight bags and diaper bag and went straight to the hospital. My husband drove like a panicked maniac, and I was gritting my teeth in the passenger seat with every contraction.  We got to the hospital and I refused to let my husband get me a wheelchair, I wanted to walk in on my own.  I had a contraction in the parking lot and barely made it to the 2nd floor to Labor & Delivery.  By now it was around 7:30 am.  They took me into a triage room for a  workup, I changed into a gown, and a nurse put the fetal heart monitor on me.  I got to listen to that little galloping horse heartbeat, nice and strong.  In came a Dr. and 2 students, they did a history on me and after a very uncomfy pelvic exam it was determined I was 8 cm dilated and fully effaced!  (The student who first checked me said I was 4 cm... the actual Dr determined it was 8... kind of a big difference!)  The contractions were pretty much on top of each other by now, only a minute apart.  I was moved straight into the delivery room, without stopping in a labor room first. This was at around 9:30 am maybe? I got to 10 cm in less than than 2 hours, and ready to push.  I didn’t even have a hospital bracelet or an IV, things were moving way too fast.  The Dr. showed up fully gowned, and they got me on the table and ready to go.  This was the first time my mom was able to see me, she’d been waiting over an hour, since I was expected to be in labor a lot longer! I was ready to push at just before 10 am and I was absolutely terrified, I was so not ready.  I had a birth plan packed in my overnight bag.  In it, I requested an epidural.  I wanted pain meds, to be able to sleep and rest during labor... My husband brought his laptop, we had a bluetooth speaker ready to play music in the delivery room... All of this was shot right out the window.  I was terrified of the prospect of pushing, terrified of the pain.  I felt like I had to take a massive poop, and even screamed “I’m gonna poop!” in the delivery room.  My mom and the Dr were like “Just do it! That’s the baby coming out!”  I pushed maybe a dozen times? Twice for every contraction.  I squeezed my husband’s hand and felt my mom’s hand on my forehead.  I was drenched in sweat from head to toe and shaking like crazy.  They told me not to scream, that I was wasting energy I needed to funnel into pushing -  but, like, ok, it hurts!  I was hurling 4-letter words (and I never swear around my mom,) and gripping onto the back of the pillow under my head (which didn’t help the poor nurse still trying to stick an IV in my arm - they blew a vein in my left hand and ended up putting the IV in my right wrist - normally I’m bad with needles but I was in so much pain I didn’t even care.)  The fetal heart monitor wasn’t working anymore, because the baby was moving down the birth canal.  The excess skin & fluid on my lower abdomen made it difficult to get a reading, so a nurse was literally pushing the monitor hard into my belly, while I was trying to push at the same time.  Eventually they used an internal monitor, this thing that looks like a cattle prod that attached to the top of the baby’s head, under the scalp, through the cervix.  Luckily I didn’t know that had happened until after he was born. After about 15 minutes of pushing, and my poor crying husband looking like he was about to pass out (he hates seeing me in pain.) I gave birth to a baby boy at 10:14 am.  It’s the most bizarre feeling in the world: like I was a bottle of champagne and he was the cork.  I could feel everything since I had no drugs, the baby’s head and shoulders popping out and the gush of fluids afterwards. I did need a few stitches, I had a second degree tear, but I never felt that or the placenta being delivered. The whole room was in a flurry, there was at least 1 dozen people there - the Dr, an instructor, several students, nurses and my mom & husband.  I was the talk of labor & delivery that day: the first-timer who came in at 7:30 and had a baby less than 3 hours later.  The baby was put right on my chest after he was born.  I had my eyes closed pretty much the entire time I had been pushing, but I opened them when I felt that warm, wiggly little baby on me.  He was absolutely beautiful, rosy pink and screaming.  My husband said he was born with his eyes open, arms and legs flailing, and a very healthy set of lungs.  He scored a 9 on his one-minute Apgar and a 9 on the 5-minute too: the highest score you can get!  He weighed 6 lbs, 8 oz and was 20.25 inches long.  My husband cut the cord (squeamishly) and my mom and him just gushed over this perfect little guy.  I was exhausted but exhilarated, I felt triumphant!  I had given birth with no drugs, all natural, and made it out to tell the tale. I had no idea my body was capable of that, but it knew more than I did.... We (me, my mom, and my husband) were able to stay in the delivery room for 2 hours after the baby’s birth.  We finally agreed on a name (well, I proposed the name and wouldn’t take no for an answer - after all, who had just given birth anyways?)  We decided on Owen Paul.  Owen because I love the name and it means “warrior”, and Paul after my brother who passed away 19 years ago.  It somehow fits him perfectly, he looks like an Owen.  He’s got beautiful red-gold hair that swirls on his head, and dark blue eyes that I’m hoping stay that color.  I was able to start nursing him right away (my nursing journey is a story for another time, though...) and we were all able to bond.  It was a wonderful experience, and it is true what they say: you forget all the pain once you lay eyes on the little miracle.  Maybe it’s the huge rush of hormones that causes this amnesia, but it really is true.  I’d do it all over again!

I’ve lost nearly all the weight I gained during pregnancy, since it was pretty much all baby, placenta, amniotic fluid and the fluid that was blowing me up like a balloon.  I’m not in any pain, even with the stitiches. I only took a few Tylenol the first couple of days, I guess I have a pretty high tolerance!  I’m feeling good, all things considered, and healthy.  It’s nice not to have that constant pelvic pain anymore. Owen is going to be 2 weeks old tomorrow, and it���s been a huge adjustment (an obvious understatement.)  The days are long, but the years will be short - everyone tells me that.  It’s frustrating, and miserable and so so so tiring.  But they are only babies for such a short time, I plan on enjoying every minute of him!  He’s the best thing I’ve ever made.

[slash-em-up]

Give Thanks: Sinclair Bros Fluff

This is nothing but ridiculous fluff with a holiday theme. Barely edited because I really wanted to post it on Thanksgiving, so apologies for any errors. I’ll probably go back and fix them later.

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all!!!!!

————————————————————

It had been a good week in Ambrose – you’d had not one, but two cars full of travelers happen upon your little tourist trap, and the scavenging of the towns newest residents belongings had turned up many of the brothers most desired items.

Electronics for Bo to putter around with and eventually pawn;

Thick woolen socks that Vincent immediately laid claim to;

And several DVDs – which Lester snatched up and tossed into his truck.

Most pragmatic of all was the confiscated wallets – decently stuffed with enough bills to get the unfortunate travelers wherever they had hoped to go.

The discovery of these always prompted a boring but necessary hour or two at the kitchen table, where you and the brothers would budget the spoils and take inventory of your current stock of canned food and other necessities.

This was more for Bo, Vincent, and your own benefit, as Lester rarely spent more than a day or two at the old Sinclair residence before retreating to his small cabin on the outskirts of town.

“...So that leaves a few bucks for special requests... spit it out y’all.”

Bo chewed on the pencil in his hand as he perused the grocery list and compared it to the budget and coupons he’d squirreled away for future use.

Lester tried to look casual as he hesitantly spoke up, bringing all eyes to him.

“Well… it’s uh, it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow… so maybe we could get a turkey or somethin’… won’t matter if it’s a day or two late.”

You felt Vincent perk up next to you, clearly onboard with the idea as well.

Bo scowled and fingered through his stack of coupons- looking for something in particular – he gave a grunt of satisfaction as he held a slip of paper aloft.

It read: ‘Jenny-O Turkey Loaf $3.50 off your purchase of two or more’

You tried not to grimace.

More processed food.

How none of your boys were dead of high blood pressure with all the sodium they ingested was beyond you.

Lester’s face fell a bit.

He’d been hoping for a real turkey, probably something that would remind him of their childhood Thanksgivings.

Bo saw his brothers frown and slapped his hand down on the table.

“Well damn Les, do you know how to cook a fuckin’ turkey? Because I sure as shit don’t.”

Lester shrugged and muttered a quiet “Nah…”

You could have spoken up at this point. Told Bo that you knew exactly how to make a turkey, and would be happy to cook one up for your little family tomorrow- but you had other plans for this particular holiday…

With Vincent’s help you’d scrounged up a set of keys to one of the cars Bo stored at the old sugar mill.

You’d snuck out one early morning last week to go on a little shopping excursion of your own, taking care to avoid all three brothers upon your return.

Smiling to yourself, you held your tongue and listened to Lester and Bo go back and forth about their holiday meal options – with the occasional input from Vincent.

You just hoped you could pull this off…

——————————————————

Your alarm began buzzing at 3:30 the next morning.

You groggily turned it off, trying to be as quiet as possible and not wake the sleeping form next to you.

Thankfully you’d learned that all three Sinclair brothers could sleep through an air raid once they actually nodded off; so other than a hitch in the soft snores coming from your bedmate, you were in the clear.

Shrugging on a coat and some well-worn boots, you hoofed it out the door and onto the street.

Walking two doors down from the Sinclair’s residence, you let yourself in to the abandoned house – noting with satisfaction that the power still worked.

Hopefully that meant nothing had spoiled.

Five minutes later found you trudging back up the front steps, arm’s laden with grocery bags from the Piggly Wiggly an hour away from Ambrose.

Using your elbow, you flicked the light switch in the kitchen – happy to see that none of the boys had made a mess after you’d gone to bed – and set your purchases on the table.

You took stock of your ingredients:

Bread, celery, sausage, butter, chicken stock, cranberries, yams, potatoes, whipping cream, brown sugar, honey, cinnamon, pumpkin filling, marshmallows… and the biggest turkey you could find so close to the holiday.

Letting out a quiet squeal of excitement, you bounced over to preheat the ancient oven, and got to work.

————————————————

‘3, 2, 1…’

REEEREEEREEEREEREEE

The three alarm clocks you’d hidden in the brothers rooms went off simultaneously, announcing to the world that it was now 10 AM on Thanksgiving morning.

You smiled in satisfaction as you heard movement coming from each of the upstairs living areas.

Loud cursing from Bo’s room.

A screech followed by a thump from Lester’s.

And hurried footsteps seemingly searching each corner of Vincent’s room.

One by one the alarms went silent and doors began to slam open, confused exclamations and stomping feet rushing around trying to find an explanation for their interrupted slumber.

“Down here guys!!” you shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey, what the hell?!”

Lester was the first to appear, clad in boxers and a ratty tank top.

Vincent followed soon after, the ponytail he put his hair in at night swinging manically behind him as he skidded to a stop at the staircase.

Bo was the last to arrive; pulling a shirt over his head and sporting the most insane bed head you’d ever seen.

“You better have a damn good explanation for this.” Bo growled down at you.

Vincent was the first to notice something was different about the house that morning.

While Bo and Lester were questioning you from the stairs Vincent stood a bit straighter and began looking around in confusion.

You grinned as Vincent caught your eye, giving a small nod to his questioning look.

Interrupting his brother’s interrogation, he laid a hand on Lester’s shoulder, pointing to his wax-covered nose.

“Smell.”

Lester looked confused; but one small sniff of the air scented with cooking food changed his whole demeanor.

“Holy shit…”

Bo gave a yelp of surprise as his tirade was interrupted by two bodies barreling past him and down the stairs.

You smiled widely as they passed you and flew into the kitchen, audibly halting as soon as they entered.

“BO YOU GOTTA COME SEE THIS!!”

The excitement in Lester’s voice was palpable, and you could tell he was about three seconds away from bursting into ecstatic belly-laughs.

The elder Sinclair twin looked fully suspicious as he stomped down the stairs, pausing next to you with a look that said ‘what did you do now?’

Vincent chose that moment to rejoin you and his twin, coming right up and pulling you into a tight hug.

You shrieked with laughter as the hug turned into you being picked up and twirled in a circle by Vincent – clearly over the moon at your holiday surprise.

Once you were released from Vincent’s affectionate embrace, you took both twins by the hand and led them into the kitchen.

Not to toot your own horn; but you’d managed to put together a feast even Norman Rockwell would be proud of.

The basted turkey shone a perfect crisp gold in the mid-morning sun. Pats of butter melted into fluffy mashed potatoes. Steam rose from aromatic sausage stuffing. And the counter was filled with cooling pies – pumpkin, sweet potato, and even apple.

Lester was practically vibrating with excitement as he walked from dish to dish, smelling each and making appreciative noises with every discovery.

Vincent squeezed your hand tightly before walking forward to join Lester. Quickly recruiting his little brother into pulling slightly dusty china from a high cabinet.

“Why’d you do all this?”

Bo was looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

His hand was still grasped in yours, and he made no motions to pull away – rather griping your small hand even tighter in his large one.

You smiled up at him, gently leading him to join the others.

“Because of all the good things I have in my life, I’m most thankful for you.”

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

Answer all 1 to 70

anon i love you, but what the fuck.

i’m gonna do it anyway.

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Kind of? I mean, they’re low-key homophobic, transphobic, racist and ableist, but they actually care about me, which is more than some people can say. So idk.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? My cat I think

03: Do you regret anything? Lol yep, many things that I am not going to go into.

04: Are you insecure? Yep

05: What is your relationship status? Single

06: How do you want to die? Peacefully, without realising. Just in my sleep. 

07: What did you last eat? A chocolate brownie. 

08: Played any sports? I do soccer (football) and if it counts I do dancing. 

09: Do you bite your nails? Yep, way too much. 

10: When was your last physical fight? Idk

11: Do you like someone? Not really atm

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Nope, not that long.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? Some girls in my class

14: Do you miss someone? Nope

15: Have any pets? 2 cats and 2 dogs

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Tired and stressed, but excited for Nightmare Time!

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? I haven’t made out ever, let alone in a bathroom. 

18: Are you scared of spiders? Not really

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Eh, maybe, depends

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? Nowhere

21: What are your plans for this weekend? Well it’s Saturday night/Sunday early morning already, so tomorrow I have to watch Nightmare Time, practice my cello, and then spend a shit load of time doing my dancing. 

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? Well, I want to have one biological child, and then adopt. No idea how many. 

23: Do you have piercings? How many? None, my parents won’t let me and I don’t particularly want any. 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Maths, English and Music. 

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? Not really

26: What are you craving right now? Noodles

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don’t think so?

28: Have you ever been cheated on? I’ve had no one to cheat on me, so no.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? NO

30: What’s irritating you right now? My eyes

31: Does somebody love you? Platonically? Hopefully. Romantically? Probably not. 

32: What is your favourite color? Purple/Blue

33: Do you have trust issues? Not sure

34: Who/what was your last dream about? Idk I don’t really remember dreams

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mum I think

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? Probably

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forget probably

38: Is this year the best year of your life? Hell no, it’s 2020

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? *distant laughing*

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? No, but I did pull my pants down in front of a guy that was annoying me when I was 5. 

For some reason there isn’t any 41-50, so moving on. 

51: Favourite food? Idk but atm I just want noodles. 

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Not really. 

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Ummm petted my cat?

54: Is cheating ever okay? If the situation calls for it (and for a good and moral reason, not just for selfish personal gain)

55: Are you mean? Sometimes

56: How many people have you fist fought? No one, I don’t like physical fights. 

57: Do you believe in true love? Kind of? I’m too tired to elaborate. 

58: Favourite weather? Sunny but not too sunny, not too hot but not too cold. 

59: Do you like the snow? Yeah

60: Do you wanna get married? I suppose so

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Idk

62: What makes you happy? StarKid

63: Would you change your name? Probably not

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? No, I do it all the time (aka no one)

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I have no clue

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Not really

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My dad?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Idk

69: Do you believe in soulmates? Yeah, I think so, but I think you can have many different soulmates, not just one. 

70: Is there anyone you would die for? A Tickle-Me Wiggly /j

Well there you go anon, and everyone else. Hope you enjoyed. 

[ckcker]

I Walk in Madness

Nobody has or can have all the information, but they have the requisite amount of information and agony in combination to believe they accurately see the entire thing.  I don’t and can never have all the information, but still I must have an opinion that seems binding or confident.  The information I selected and pressed into an opinion is now my special soul, and defines me.  It must be released and time-stamped to show that at one point, I made this all-encompassing definition, which is a summary of my self and the window of all my beliefs hereafter.  Elevate yourself to say, “I no longer wonder.”  

I have made myself publicly available; all that the community asks of you is that you participate.  To not participate is to disrespect those who put all of their time, effort and mental filaments into the ideal of community.  Such a reclusive impulse should be modified swiftly but in the most holistic way if possible, it is not helpful for others.  It is not helpful for you.  It is, at heart, cowardly, as it turns away in fear from the difficulties involved in building a resilient, healthy and just community.  It courts isolation as a comfort, when in fact voluntary isolation is the fortification of unhealthy habits and delusional or paranoid thought processes which precariously redirect the lost person away from the tough but rewarding civic duties necessary to building a fact-driven social network.  If I am lonely at night, the solution is to participate.  Though I walk in madness, I end up at the voting booth.  A discussion takes place in which everyone pretends to know how recycling works; one inches towards integration.  Recipes are shared, and an evening passes with an attempt to perfect avocado gazpacho.  

I love traditional open-toed sandals.  Making the body more vulnerable to the elements of the outside world shows a general dissipating apprehension.  Though current events inevitably fade in relevance and thus sustained public attention, their emotional immediacy and rousing thrust are exceptionally good at forcing the under-opinionated to participate and commune with others. Opinions always coalesce under the pressure of current events, and since current events are established and projected much more widely and much more often in this era, it follows that one should have more opinions, and participate more.  Of all the methods I’ve tried, the most effective and least artificial toner I’ve used is two tablespoons of rose water mixed with 1 cup of filtered water.  The rose water I use is a brand from Lebanon and you can probably find it in a local middle eastern grocery store.  Having a very public life no longer makes me uneasy!

I published the post and I was feeling satisfied, though very likely no other person would see it.  My only patron appeared to be a woman in her early 40s with hard bangs and a diamond choker smiling in her icon’s bubble, with arm around a presumed husband and the suggestive text “Be Kind” pegged in lower left corner in hot pink with white outline.  Miscellaneous background details in the icon, particularly a hanging silver streamer, communicated that at the time of the photo this woman had been at a New Years party.  Her silent interpretation of my persistently scarce content was eager musing territory for me when her icon focused my attention in the midst of a wild scroll, or when her face and militarized endorsement of kindness intruded with the elegance of a twirling maple samara upon my mind during a bout of fear-walking.  She made no effort to contact me, had no posts of her own or even personalized layout style, and yet she hypothetically watched me.  Of course it was pointless on her end — my posts were designed solely for the tactical misdirection of algorithmic spectres, conceived and published only in order to convince those supra-wiggly archivists of instinct that I was overwhelmingly a different person.  I did not want even the smallest gleak of truth to land online.  This “lost mind” plan even extended to my video watching and digital window shopping maneuvers, though in the case of the former it was impossible to totally restrain myself from a true curiosity and craving to pursue certain videos.  This lack of impulse control expanded even more robustly when porn entered an afternoon; it was insurmountable to search and watch against the specific desires and images I knew would satisfy me the most.  Yet I tried in rapid toe dips, once spending eleven minutes on a video of a nude bodybuilder shot-putting a collection of corns and lettuces into a wall, and with no o-face to conjure.  

“I walk in madness” was both my unorthodox phrase of meditation and most important sentence of self-parody.  When walking around at night in a certain state, I would now and then repeat to myself, “I walk in madness.”   After this I would laugh and say, “that’s dramatic.”  Self-parody swooped in to dehydrate the potential mirages, delusions.  But no other summary was as accurate — literally I walked in madness.  From the habits of my mind, a complex system had emerged and, quite simply, enveloped my unhinged ass.  I had strobe-nurtured my preferences for “the best way to think” over the last several years, so that now I was only sufficiently energized when mentally combining (1), an act of making fun of myself for feeling out of sorts, with (2), an earnest attempt at my own healing.  This perverse combo made me feel very aware but rarely good.  And when these thought commands then marinated in the head to a fully abusive gush, there was one more thing to consider.  What was the source of that powerful sensation that took me over when I went walking alone and without a plan at night?  What was it in the body that prodded me along that highly nummy snack trail of mini-catharses?  What was the source of those tiny pecks of transcendence that scattered down the back of the neck when nearing the production of an abyss?  That is, I did not only walk in madness because I had to, but also because it had become fun.  It raveled me on a line leading to some other connection, a connection which was not to The World.  It promised recognition of and commune with everything that did not matter or had not ever been confirmed to exist.

These areas were very important to pay attention to — I had ignored them for the majority of my, to be acutely real, goofiest years, it was important to know everything that was possible.  This was my routine.  I walked with glamour in circular patterns around less populated city neighborhoods at night, always listening to music that accentuated a spike in insane flavoring.  I only chose music that had the strength to combine halo and blurred hole, it was always music that floored my sensation to its final speed.  I knew I was so lucky to have built-in machinery that let me expand all of my reserves through music.  It was my only advantage.  It made me proud to turn inward.  If my skill was extreme sensitivity, it could only flourish in its most insular and native format.  

But I desperately needed new songs to fill me up, and over-listened as a resting state.  I over-listened, and a night out, i.e. the sustained advancement of nightlife over several hours, was an exhausting condition for me.  In a bar, I was penetrated by the old song I had heard over two thousand times before, but which now had been remixed in a contemporary style wherein synth stabs commanded by creatine hands had replaced what was once very clean, antiquated AOR guitar strumming.  The popular song I had highly ignored for the length of my life, and which hearing did not provoke outrage (or even flashback to wedding dance floor) but instead perpetual indifference in me, had been updated using the most cutting edge technology to produce aural depths not possible with the recording equipment available when the song was originally produced, and which now plunged the emotions much further down and much harder.  The original voice was now placed in a melancholy minefield of hysterically deep bass and plummeting, omnidirectional dynamics and, when the remix passed through the tequila that I was allowing to patrol my body, it replicated itself with viral menace to produce in me the extraterrestrial threat of a single tear.  

In this instance of a night out, Rob had invited me to this bar and party that I had never been to before.  Where I had expected to see more of his friends or even the endless hallway of acquaintances he seemed to be able to mobilize at random, instead I only saw Gail, revealing the conditions were such that Gail and I were the only people Rob had invited to the event.  There I stood under the song, almost leaking with melody-induced sentimentality or globular nostalgia mucus.  I looked across at Gail who was leaning on a wall, who did not seem to be able to observe me after our initial greeting when I arrived at the bar.  She appeared to not take in much information when moved from location to location, and when looking in her eyes I did not ever get the sensation that enormous perspectival changes were part of her social rhythm.  A common conclusion from a young person would be that she was fried, but whether as a condition of drugs/alcohol/trauma or some combo, there had not been any stories shared on which to focus a rock hard drama-horny eye.  Though I yearned to know what details flanked the long road leading to her hellscape, I realized it was unjust since I wasn’t prepared to present the full set of demonic coordinates that had led to mine.  How can one appeal with another story of lost sleep?  “Awake all night” is not the story anyway, yes we know, please make your complaining entertaining.  I was in the heart of the club, I understood it was not the moment to emerge brumal vapors in the form of uninteresting plot points excerpted from my very personal checklist of booboos.  “Oops,” the convicted serial killer said when the public did not like the realistic paintings he made of his victims while in jail.  Gurn: it was possible for the public to see horrifying paintings made by a serial killer.  

Several screens around the bar played the same music video, which the dance floor area magnified via projection on the wall, so that, in the most emotional part of the bar, emotion was keyed up considerably by the illusion of entering the world suggested by the song.  Rob and the bartender were near cheek-to-cheek, taking turns cocking their heads to the side so the voice of the other could enter the ear successfully over the newest Chicago house-derived, 80s-synthpop-infused rap song scorching the lair.  Gail stayed against the wall, looking around but appearing totally comfortable, a woman in her 60s drinking a High Life surrounded by a different generation, I was moved.  Being young is incredibly dangerous.  The bartender poured Rob and himself shots and they downed them together.  

Snippets of Gail’s circumstances had reached me, I knew she had been living with her son in Texas but now was essentially homeless, that Rob and Q.C. had met her at a goth club where she was hanging out with a much younger woman named Lillian.  Lillian would often be run into at the goth club or other clubs and bars, flirting with Rob and Q.C., and though she was definitely younger than Gail, she wore enough makeup to sufficiently alter minds and, with the support of moody bar lighting that left certain preferred corners in medium darkness, had an age that was unrecognizable.  “My instinct tells me she’s at least 35,” Rob had suggested after explaining to me the situation and after a long silence in which I didn’t respond or engage at all with what he had just said.  The pause had felt uncomfortable and also unnatural after such bulbous gossip so he apparently felt it important to break the silence with this one more detail of her estimated age.  I knew it would make both of us more comfortable if I said something in response to the story of Gail and Lillian but I didn’t, in the end, have anything to say, and so Rob told me he thought Lillian was at least 35, and I responded, “oh.”  Lillian and Gail were good friends and Lillian would often bring Gail along to the goth club; Gail did not dress on theme.  Eventually Rob learned she lived in her car and he invited her to stay with him for an unspecified amount of time.  Inevitably this increased my estimation of Rob’s worldview.  When he would decide once again it was time to throw trash from the neighborhood off the 2nd floor apartment balcony — for instance a decommissioned flatscreen or legless American Girl doll — Gail, watching through the open door from the beige velvet couch, would laugh once.  

Rob concluded his interaction with the bartender, turned to me and explained the bartender was hot and straight, and when the bartender worked the weekly gay night they held at the bar, he would appropriately enhance his image in honor of the conventional gay male eye — pouring himself into a tight black tank top that demonstrated his tactful chest hair and relevant bicep gains was the respectful thing to do.  “I’m going to dance now,” Rob said as a commanding female voice shook the establishment with its first notes.  

I wandered over with him but stuck to the doorway that connected the bar area to the dance floor, watching as he threw himself, alone, into the writhing environs, quite clogged with personal freedoms.  The mass of dancers sang the chorus of the song all together, the subject matter concerned a protagonist that felt jealous and sad to see their long pined after crush dancing with another girl.  In fact the protagonist likely never had a chance with the person who was their crush but had built up a dream narrative in which their idealistic love with this person was nearing possibility.  In the midst of such crushing circumstances, the protagonist, now left alone and heartbroken at some event they likely attended simply to engage further with their crush, has decided to dance through their loneliness despite it all, even if it will only enliven them for a moment, and for the length of the song.  Rob danced “with” almost anyone he turned his body towards.  Some people engaged, dancing back, and others stealthily maneuvered away.  At some point it was discernible that he no longer had on shoes or socks.  A girl very much liked that, drawing her friend’s attention to the fact, then touching Rob on the arm, saying something inaudible.  All three laughed.  I stood and watched, occasionally pinged by passing bodies gunning for the most emotional part of the bar.  I watched the video on the projection screen.  The female vocalist danced specifically, had short pink bowl cut hair, conveyed well-lit and accessible agony.  Several bar dancers unmistakably entered a sub-orgasmic flehmen response.  My left shoulder reflexively darted front and back — a significant space-grabber had brushed me by on their way to the dance floor.  It was eventually revealed to be Gail.  I watched her scream “YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!” as she launched herself into the crowd.  

[iraniq]

Fuzzy

part II

https://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/613580215745167360/fuzzy

< I forgot to mention when i post part 1 - that’s dedicated to all people who see themselfes as not good enough for some reason, i see me fat, that’s why i rote it from that perspective ... ya’ll worthy tho! > 

*

The next thing I know is how there are gun shots all over the place, I think I saw blood on the sheets, I fell off the bed and roll under. So shocked that I couldn't even scream. 

I had no idea how long I was under the bed. Suddenly I heared his voice.

  - Fluffy? Oh, Fluffy... Where are you?

I knew it was him, it was his voice... But what if, someone was pretending to be him. I stayed quiet.

  - Could she ran away?

  - No Ser! I was right outside and didn't saw anyone. 

  - Are you sure... 

  - Yes!

It got quiet outside. A sharp light blinded me.

  - Here you are! - he grabbed my hand and dragged me outside. I was still shaking and made several steps back. He was squeezing me, but let go. - Come on... - he opened his hands for me, holding a gun. - Daddy isn't scary anymore, come ‘ere! - I hesitated but slowly walked to him. He hugged me with his free hand. 

  - See sir, she was just scared of you. - the man said. This one wasn't the usual one who accompany him. 

The Joker started breathing more heavy, he squeezed me tighter and stepped a little left. Another gun shot was heared. Then a thud of a gun on the furry carpet. He hugged me even tighter. 

  - It's OK, no one will scare you now! 

We stayed like this for several seconds, then he motioned me where to go, ordering me not to look back, because of the blood.

We were in his car, the day was rainy,  and he was driving through the nothing. 

  - Are you OK? I think I saw blood on the sheets. – I barely mumbled with a still shaking voice.

  - What... 

  - Are you, all right.

  - Yes... Yes I am. 

  - Did someone tried to kill you? 

  - No...

  - Then what happened?

He was looking at the road, but his thoughts were speeding elsewhere.

  - I had a nightmare.

  - Am... I am sorry to hear this. - we were silent for a while - Where did you take the gun from?

  - Under the pillow.

  - You sleep with a gun under your pillow?

  - There are attempts for my Death through the past 10 years... Even before I got that famous. - he looked at me winking.

  - The road. - I screamed. 

  - Chill ... I know this road. 

  - But it is raining now...

  - So? You question my driving skills?

  - Why do you think it is always about you, why always must be against you what I say? I just mentioned that it's raining and...

  - It might be slippery. I know. I am paying attention to the road, although you are not helping much. 

  - I am sorry... I will be quiet. - I mumbled.

  - It's not your words that bother me, it's your looks.

I tried to cover my fat belly with the jacket I had.

  - You are welcome... 

I frowned my eyebrows.

  - For the compliment. 

' He complimented my body... that's it, I must be dead now! '

We were quiet a little bit more... He suddenly hit the breaks.

  - No! - He looked at me. And pulled my jeans jacket. I had a light knee long silk night dress.

  - What... Let go … - I pulled it back.

  - I meant your half naked tits... – he has this nervous tic to slick back his hair, even when it’s ok - Whoever speaks to you like this I will shoot them!

  - The ones who... speak to me like you do... - I was confused, and more ashamed than scared.

  - No...- he finally let go of the jacket and let me cover. - Whoever told you you weren't good looking.

  - Well... It's a long story.

  - Ugh... Spare me the suffer... - he rolled his eyes, got out and opened the door for me. - Come! - he demanded. He played a song on his phone and we danced. He had hugged me and we slowly swinged. I could feel him enjoying the hug, but he was trying to make it less obvious.

Several songs later. It turned cold and we had to stop. 

  - What... Why are you shivering? - he growled.

  - It's cold and I am mostly naked.

  - Fat won't keep you warm? - he laughed.

  - Unpopular opinion, but fat on humans don't keep it that warm, as on amimals... - I smiled.

He hugged me again and rubbed my back. 

  - Do you want my Jacket?

  - You don't have one on you. - I laughed.

  - Ugh... Jump back in the car then. - he slapped my but.

We went in, he put the heat on. And rubbed my thigh, I jumped. - Chill... - he got my hand in his. - The rape think was to scare you... I won't - he let go of my hand. - I might be anything, but 2 things I am not - rapist abd pedophile.

I smiled. 

  - Yes... I am actually ticklish, that's why I jumped... But it's good to know this. - I blushed. He winked at me.

He drove us back to his place. It was dark already. He let me in the kitchen to make us some food. After I was done he invited me in the bathroom. There was a bathtub ready and a table. I took my clothes off and settled in front of him. He put the wooden panel on the bathtub, so we could eat while taking a bath.

  - Please … - he hugged me - don't drop food in the tub! – he said that almost purring and I’d lie if I saw I wasn’t turn on.

I giggled. 

He put shampoo in my hair and washed it.

  - Why are you so gentle with me? - I felt deeply attracted and connected to him, becauset still I didn't knew him and from what others say and he didn't exactly deny, he wasn't a nice person. 

  - Well... Maybe because I want to.

I turned to face him. His hair was wet, and so green.

  - It looks more green when wet. - I reached to touch it, but remembered what he said before. - May I?

He nodded his head and I dug my fingers through the green hair, slicking it back. I smiled, then I ruffled it and laughed. 

  - Hey... - he slicked it back.

  -  I love this color... 

  - Green, or bright neon colors.

  - Can I pick both?

He smiled. Then he frowned.

  - Off! - he ordered in a harsh voice. I turned my back at him. - Off the tub! - he shouted and I jumped out, in the process I slipped and fell, but got up and ran to the bedroom. 

In like hour, I was still lying naked, covered in a sheet and reading a book, he had on his night stand - Terry Pratchett - Mort. I had started it several years back, , but never finished it, since it wasn’t mine. He came in, slowly, he was even more pale and his lips were blue. I looked up, but he frowned and I looked away. He slipped under the covers and snuggled. 

  - OH! - I yelled. - You are cold!

-        Dead cold!

-        Yes … - I tried to move away, but he didn’t let me go.

  - The waster was cold. 

  - Well you stayed for an hour. It was expected to be cold at the end. Why didn't you put hot one.

  - I was lazy.

  - Why didn't you call me?

  - You are mad.

  - No, I am not.

  - Yes. You are! 

  - No I am not! - 'is he for real'

  - Because I yelled at you.

  - I am... You want me to be mad at you?

  - You shold!

  - Well I am not... Come. - I put the book away, as he snuggled more in me. - You are naked. - I whispered putting my chin on his forehead.

  - It's not the first time we are both naked in my bed.

  - Don't exactly remember the 1st time. - I joked.

  - Want me to remind you? - he wasn't finished when I felt his hand slipping down on me.

I woke up the next day very sore on many places, with an envelope at the empty pillow next to me. There were money  and a note : he was informing me that he won't be available for the next two weeks, but after I am more than welcome for breakfast... And fun. There was a big kiss

I went home, paid whatever I was supposed to. Get me a second job.

Had a fight with my mother about the "dump" I live in. The lack of proper men in my life. Obviously my mindless and rude ex, who had a prestige job, was a way better choice than someone who actually treats me nice and cares about me... Horay!

The next time I spend the night at he house I woke up by his pissed voice, I jumped off the bed.

  - Where to, sweet patootie?

  - I thought you yelled at me... Lover boy?

He made a low growl.

  - I am loosing at this ... Damn Game!

  - Let me... Stack Ball? I am master at this. - Four levels later, he was dozing off on my shoulder. I accidentaly got out of the game. I saw... My mostly naked body as a wallpaper.

  - A what...

  - What?! - he got up holding a gun.

  - Why do you have a naked picture of me! - I was yelling at the one person even Bats got the chills of.

He looked confused.

  - Why... Do y...

  - I heard you the 1st time sweets, why woudn't I? You are my girlfriend.

  - I am... fat... - I was more shocked he called me 'girlfriend', but I decided not to go that far.

  - And a little bit of your but was hairy whem I took that one. – he laughed like a 5 years old who knows they betray a huge secret by telling it in a joke-ish way.

I felt the tears running down.

  - Why... what's wrong... - he took his pants of - Take a naked picture of me, we will be even. - he threw the phone in my lap.

  -  I am ugly, get this away! - I throw the phone back and the blanket too.

He stood in front of me and squeezed my face in his hand so hard I flinched.

  - You are not. I like what I see, if you don't like it, it's not my problem. I like your orange ass and the wiggly piece of fat on your bellt, it's a nice pillow... What?

  - You are pretty and you like me. - I cried.

  - How many times should I repeat this so you'd believe me?! Because it's getting annoying, and I might end up killing you... Which would be a shame, you are exellent breakfast biddy and a pillow. - he wiped my tears - At some point I will get tired of this and kick you away. I will find me s skinny blond dumb bitch.

- Hey ... blond girls are smart too ...

- I know … - he squeezed my cheek.

- You will be bored... - I joked.

  - I will... - he lyed on me again - now play that game, and win me a nice record. Definetly higher than yours.

Soon after he dozzed off again.

Next morning I woke up alone again. When I decided to check how much of a 'mornong' it is, I was met with his almost naked body on my wallpaper. His black pants, unbuttomed and sooo low. A purple shirt, almost off. One hand was... Down there, and it was visible enough what's inside. I figured he took the pic with his free hand … it was a specific angle. It was a one time in life view.

  - You like it sugar pops? I can smell you blush from here! - he laughed. - Just unlock it and see the other one.

  - How about NO! - I threw the phone like it had the plague.

  - Oooh... I made these with love... Is this how you thank me! - his voice was low and pissed.

  - Maybe after breakfast. - I smiled.

  - Fine...

He handed me a bowl of cornflakes, fruits and ypgurt. All breakfast time he spend looking at the bluish clouded sky. The sun was trying to peek behind the clouds, the view was really breathtaking.

I felt anxious. Urged myself to say something.

  - Breathtaking...

  - Yes!

  - The clouds...

  - I know.... - he whined.

Next thing he was squeezing my face, trying to put some food in.

  - I don't luke vegan stuff.

  - I don't like your attitude either! Now eat!

While trying to chew, some run down my chin.

  - Can you not! ... I hate babies.

  - Eww, me too! - I wiped it away.

Don't know what I did, or said, but he laughed till he cried.

It has been several months since I kinda moved there. I learned not to be that intimidated by him, which lead to me talking back quite often. On the other hand this led to huge fights that often ended up with me going to my old place, that I still rented. At some point his jealous-ish and obssed behaviour birthed the idea of setting the place on fire, so I'd have nowhere to leave.

One of his super trusted henchmen was left eyeless. He got them out with a spoon after the poor man said "Hey, Joker whose is that fat brat?" - followed by - "Who'd hate his dick that much!" - I suspect J cut his tongue too. But did't wanted to konow...

Monty... I believe he was... I see him begging on the side street of the boulevards when me and J had midnight car walks. I feel bad for him, although his stupidity wasn't my fault. Sometimes I sneak out and Frost drives me there, I leave him food.

There were no more fuzzy nights, he wasn't drinking or doing drugs, although that was a popular opinion, he had super healthy lifestyle... Did I mentioned he is build like a fucking god! Sometimes I had a glass of wine, or 2 for a mood. He'd joke that before I hit 30 I am already the old fun always drunk auntie, just missing the cats.

He named one of my stretch marks ‘Simon” when I swing around gaining and loosing weight, Simon grows …” Simon says ‘eat’! “ – Joker teases me when he inspects Simon.

I got some extra special treatment besides the hair washing like feet massages and book reading when his insomnia kicks in. Make up real life tutorials – he looks good in purple eye shadow tho. He got my long nails, scratching his hands. His nerves were a little numb by the bleach bath. But he could feel scratch. He got the chills it rather cute, in an odd way. I also colored his dragon tattoo once … he almost overdose on slipping pills once … so I had the chance. He was fine. Just dead asleep.

The most embarassing thing happened like 2 weeks ago. Me and J broke in that councilman's house. We were in the outside jakuzzi when Bats came, ironically we were naked. He, bats, saw my back tities, and I am now sure, if he didn't needed mental help, he will be now. He was as shocked as us. Obvipusly seeing the Joker, the self loving, arrogant, perfectionist, demanding more then the best, mad at the world, with quite almost fat girl was a real shock. Bats just apologized and left. J laughed so much, he almost drowned, drinking half the pool.

J send Bats a letter 2 days after:

" Bats, I an so dissapoined you storm in like that, it took me so long to convince her to hoop in naked in the all glass pool/jakuzzi. Hope you are happy now. I won't get laid tonight because of you. Also... If you try something else besides blond, skinny dumb sluts /yes I know blond girls are smart, duh/, you might have a relationship longer than 17h. Also... The last "lady you took tp the charity ball... Dman man, I won't even get the lil J naked in front of her! You can do better boy billionaire! "

p.s. I am still fat, but I don’t care anymore, I am a Queen and I love me so bad, ask the King!

______________

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @sougie @lovermrjokerr @darthjokerisyourfather @marsmad @itsmeauntie @echelongaga @brightlightsfanfiction @mj-isback @gemma60 @elliegrace139 @lylabell2013 @pandaliciouz @misscalamiity

sorry if i miss someone 

[riverdalepoet]

ALL I EVER WANTED (part 8)

PAIRINGS: Sweet Pea and OC (Emma Carter Wilson); Toni and Cheryl, Kevin and Fangs, Betty and Jughead

WORD COUNT: 2318

TAG LIST: @reblogserpent

WARNINGS: mention of abuse and neglect, language, adult themes

A/N: TA-DA!!! Chapter 8.  The light of day brings some good news for the kiddos we met in the last chapter.  Emma gets a call that she certainly didn’t want...read to see who from and what he/she wants, This is now on AO3 (kaylahselman15) and Wattpad (kaylah14) PLEASE REBLOG AND LEAVE COMMENTS!

PART 1    PART 2    PART 3    PART 4     PART 5     PART 6     PART 7

_________________________________________________________

                Fingers toyed gently with my hair, stirring me from my sleep.  I swatted them away and tried to ignore it, but they were persistent.  I peek one eye open only to see my husband and his outstretched arm carefully coaxing me awake without disturbing Axel or Sienna who lay still between us. After my eyes and my attitude adjusted to the light streaming softly into our room and the annoying prodding against my scalp, Sweet Pea motioned for me to get up with him.

                 “What time is it?” I mumbled, voice thick from the blissful sleep that I was just robbed of.  I made my way straight for the coffee pot.

                 “Six a.m.” He chuckled at the whine I gave him in response. Sweet Pea loved the mornings.  The quiet, the stillness, the anticipation of the day ahead.  I, on the other hand, took about two hours to fully wake up.  “Jug called. Apparently, Lauren’s sister is Cassie Mantle.”

                 “Shut up!” I halted, my hand hovering over the Folgers can.  “I never knew that.  Oh, Sweets, that’s great. The kids really will be in good hands.  Cassie’s as good as gold!”

                 “Yeah, I was relieved.  They’re on their way here now.  Didn’t even hesitate when Jones got in touch with them.  They dropped everything and hit the road.”

                 I squeezed his shoulder as I walked by to grab last night’s soup bowls to throw in the dishwasher.  “Where are they living now?”

                 “Bout two hours north of Greendale- a small town called Pleasant Ridge.  They’re gonna stay with Reg’s parents until Dr. Ellis releases Blazer.”  He rubbed his palms together, fidgeting.  My eyebrow shot up suspiciously.  I waited for him to spit whatever it was that had him stalling out.  “Also…they found Lauren.  Emma, she was so messed up, she didn’t even know she had kids.  Hell, she barely knew her own name.  Jug said that Cassie plans to get her in rehab as soon as she can manage it.”

                “Good!  Maybe with Cassie and Reggie helping out, she can take the time she needs to get clean, and do right by her kids while she still can.”  Sweet Pea nodded.

                 “I’m gonna take them over to the Mantle’s in a bit.  I want to talk to Reggie.  Rob won’t be locked up forever, and I want him to know exactly what he’s got to protect them from.”  His eyes squeezed shut, no doubt as images from last night’s rescue mission came flooding back.  “Fangs is coming here to keep you and Carter company.”

                “Babe,” I groaned.  “We don’t need a Serpent Sitter.  I can take care of us just fine.  That is not necessary.”

                 He fixed me with a hard stare that silenced my objections immediately.  “This is not up for discussion.  I want someone here with you and that’s final.”

                 “Yes sir,” I kissed his cheeks and snaked my arms around his broad shoulders.  “Come on, bodyguard, let’s go get Ax and Sienna up and moving before Carter starts screaming.”

                 He followed me, packing up their things while I got them up.  Sienna’s freckled nose scrunched up as she stretched.  The light of day made the violet bruises look so much worse than I remembered from last night.  My eyes lingered on her face before catching Sweet Pea doing the same with an angry scowl heavy on his brow.

                 Waking Axel up was a challenge.  His sister told me he was not a morning person.  We had that in common.  Eventually, he joined us for breakfast.  They ate quietly until Sienna spoke up, “Where do we live now?”

                 Sweet Pea answered before I could, “Your Aunt Cassie is coming to get you guys, so you all can stay with her.”

                 Axel’s chubby hand reached up to rub his eyes.  “Mommy said Aunt Cassie doesn’t like us.”  Sienna’s shoulders slumped forward and Pea reached over to tug at the ends of her hair.

                “That’s not true.  She got up very early so she can get here to be with you. She’s almost to Riverdale now.”

                “Mommy’s not coming back, is she?” My heart shattered at the desperation in his little voice.  Sweets scooped him into his lap and held him close.  “Not yet, buddy, I’m sorry.”

                 Carter woke up shortly after breakfast, fighting mad.  I tended to him while Sweet Pea loaded the truck up and got it warming up.  Axel was content in front of Puppy Dog Pals, but Sienna was very excited to see the baby awake.  Soon enough his fussiness was ebbed away by the excitement of a new, smiling face to give him attention.

                 “He’s really wiggly,” she giggled watching me struggle to get him dressed.  Carter let out a squeal of his own, thrilled to have another finger to grip in his fist. Sienna stretched up on her tippy toes to smile at him.  He matched her grin with a drooly mirror image of hers.

                 “I think he likes you,” I chuckle, noticing a soft blush creep onto her cheeks and the very tip of her nose. I put Carter in his bouncer in the living room.  Sienna kneeled right beside him, fussing over every belly laugh and gurgle he threw at her.

                “Alright, kiddos, the truck’s warmed up and ready to go,” Sweet Pea announced clapping his hands together. Axel jumped right up, clutching the same blanket he clung to all night.  Sienna, however, lingered, fiddling with the small toys on his bouncer. I straightened Ax’s jacket while Sweet Pea went straight for Sienna, covering her tiny back with his hand.

                 “Hey, you.  You know you can come to see him anytime.  We can come to see you too, how does that sound?” I melted at the tenderness in his voice.

                 “Mr. Wilson?” She squeaked nervously.

                 “Hmm?”

                 “What if Aunt Cassie’s husband is like Daddy?” Sweet Pea turned her around to face him.

                 “He will not be, we will make sure of that. We’ve got you, okay?”  She nodded and stood to her feet stealing one last smile from my baby and running to give me a hug.  Pea kissed Carter on the head and made his way to the door.  He kissed me briefly just as Fangs came rumbling up the driveway.

                 I watched the trio as they walked to the truck. Fangs ruffled their hair as they passed by before bonding up the steps to the front door.  Carter wiggled happily at the sight of him.  Fangs didn’t hesitate to free him of the constraints of his bouncer.  “Hey, little man.  Did you miss Uncle Fangsy? Mommy and Daddy aren’t nearly as fun, huh?”

                 “Watch it.”  I smacked him on the shoulder and sat down beside him.  “What’s new?”

                 “Oh, you know: saving children, beating up complete assholes, guarding the Wilson clan with my life- the usual.”

                 I snorted in response.  “I told him that we would be okay.”

                 “Yeah, well, talking to a brick wall is damn hard. Trust me, I know.  At least we get to hang out.”

                 I smiled, crinkling my nose at him and the nearly passed out baby in his arms.  “ True that, Fogarty.  I know you’re hungry.”

                 “True that, Wilson.”  We chuckled so hard at his reply, we almost didn’t hear my phone ring. I got to it just in time, putting it on speaker so I could plumage my cabinets for the dishes I needed.

                “Hello?”

                 “Emma,” a chillingly familiar voice answered.  Fang’s eyes snapped up to my pale face.  “Why if it isn’t my favorite pain in the ass.  It’s been too long.”

                Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shot back, “Not nearly long enough, Peabody.”  Fangs sat Carter in his chair and rushed to my side, hovering over the phone quietly.  He pressed record on his own phone to capture the conversation.

                 “Not feeling very friendly, are we?  I bet if I got a hold of that sexy hubby of yours, you’d change your tone.”

                 “You leave him the hell out of this, you miserable bitch!  What do you want?” I growled.  Fangs instinctively threw his arm around my shoulders to calm me down.

                 “Well, I happen to be feeling…generous. You can either hand Larry over to me or pay the $5k he owes me.  The choice is yours, madam.  You’ve got 72 hours.”  We sat there stunned for a beat.  “Oh and Emma? Congratulations on the baby.”  With that, the line went dead and I chunked the phone across the room.

                 “What the fuck? What the fuck, Fangs?! She knows about Carter.  She’s gonna hurt him to get to Larry.  OH my god!” He grabbed my shoulders and jerked me roughly around to him.

                 “HEY! We’re going to figure this out.  Pack some of yours and Pea’s and Carter’s things. I’ll call a meeting, and we’ll head to the Wyrm.  It’s going to be okay, I promise.  Do you want me to call Sweet Pea?”

                 “No,” I muttered.  “He needs to make sure that the kids are going to a good place.  It can wait until he’s finished.”

                 Fangs shot me a look of doubt, “He’s not going to like that.”

                 I groaned and started stuffing our things into a duffle.  “I know, I know.”

                 By the time we made it to the Wyrm, Jug was pacing. Rusty swooned at the sight of Carter, and I kicked myself for not bringing him to meet her sooner.  “He’s beautiful, kid.”

                “Thanks, Rus. We kinda like him!” I smiled passing him to her.

                 Sweet Pea came in a few minutes later, clearly perplexed about why this meeting was called and why his child was in a bar.

                 Before he could ask any questions, I eagerly interceded, “How’d it go?”

                “Really well.  They hit it off pretty quickly.  Reggie was just as worked up about the whole thing as us, so I feel a lot better. We’re going to keep checking in on them though.”  He sighed.

                Jughead called for our attention and I tensed up immediately.  “Penny has contacted Emma this morning.  There is a bounty on Larry’s head.  If we don’t bring him to her, we’ll have to pay his debt.  My initial reaction was to say ‘fuck off’, but she mentioned that she knows about Carter.  She’s threatening one of our own if we don’t deliver, and I will not stand for that.”

                 Sweet Pea turned to face me, fire seething from his eyes, his tight-lipped mouth, and his rigid shoulders.  My sheepish grin did nothing to placate his rage.  “Emma,” he hissed.  “Outside, right now!”  I was certainly in trouble.  

                 Fangs shot me a look that screamed ‘I told you so’ as I snuck behind him through the doors of the Wyrm. Clutching Carter to me as a 15-pound shield of cuteness, I shrunk under the intensity of his glare. “You wanna tell me why you didn’t call me first? Isn’t this something I would need to know about?” He smoothed the gravel in his tone slightly when Carter squeaked in protest.  “How am I supposed to protect my own family if I don’t know what’s going on with them, Emma, how?”

                 “Oh, is that my cue? Am I supposed to talk now, or do you want to yell at me some more?” I sputtered.

                 He groaned, shifting his weight from one foot to another and pinching the bridge of his nose.  “If I didn’t love you so much, I swear… You drive me insane.”

                 “The bitch called me about ten minutes after you left.  Fangs was there, so we were safe.  You were right and I was wrong, doesn’t that make you feel better?”

                 He simply flattened his lips into a flat line in response.

                 “No? Ok then… anyway, if I had called you, you would’ve come straight home, so no I do not regret not calling you.”

                 “Of course I would’ve come home, Emma.  I would’ve dropped everything and been back with you as soon as I could.  To hell with…” he trailed off, avoiding my stare.

                 “To hell with what?” I quipped.  “With Blazer? With Axel? What about Sienna? You would’ve said to hell with them and their safety to come chasing an empty threat? Is that what you’re saying? Cause I would not be okay with that.”

                Huffing, he answered after a few minutes, “I guess I see your point.”  His posture visibly relaxed.  I was bouncing Carter around animatedly, resisting the urge to shout “HA”. “I’m sorry for getting upset, baby. I just don’t like you being threatened. The sooner we turn Larry in the better.”

                 “Well, we don’t know what they’re going to vote to do yet, cause you made us leave.”

                 “I don’t give a rat’s ass.  He’s my problem.  This is my choice.  It’s clear to me that he’s in it with Peabody.  They just want the cash, I know it.”

                 I blanched, trying to find the best angle to approach this conversation.  “But what if that’s not the case?  Would it be worth handing him over if he was innocent?”

                “Innocent?” he scoffed.  “He could do good deeds for the rest of his life and still not be considered innocent.  Do you know what he put me through?”

                 I leaned into him instinctively, balancing Carter with one arm and forcing Sweet Pea’s arm to circle me with my other.  “I do, and I wish I could take it all away. I just don’t want this decision to torture you if you make the wrong choice.  I really really really think you should talk to him first.  Then we can figure it out.”

                 He stiffened against me and took shallow breaths. I hated to see him this vulnerable. “I guess.”

                 “Do you still love me?” I muttered, smoothing out Carter’s hair.

                 His chest shook slightly as he chuckled. “Always, Emma.”

                “That’s what I was hoping you’d say. I love you too, Pea.” I smiled pulling him back inside, feeling lighter.

[reneehearts]

Not doing this as an ask...because no one ever asks me any 😂

angel; do you have a nickname? Yes: Nee, Renizzle, Nee Nee, Doots

awe; how old are you? 27

baby; favorite color? Purple (I’d you couldn’t tell lol)

bloop; spirit animal? Monkey

blossom; favorite book/movie/song? Water for Elephants/Remember the Titans/Props and Mayhem

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child? Lumpy! He was a lil pastel horse

breeze; most precious childhood memory? Working in the garden with my Papa

bright; mermaids or fairies? Fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend? I have a few

buttercup; showers or baths? Showers

butterfly; dream destination? Key West or Bahamas...anywhere tropical

buttons; are you religious or spiritual? More spiritual

calm; favorite scent? Pine/Christmas trees

candlelight; what did you dream about last night? I had a dream I was freaking out because I didn’t do my essay for class and it was due in like an hour lol

charming; have you ever been in love? Yes

cozy; eye/hair color? Hazel-ish/blonde

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period? 20s, 90s

cupcake; favorite flower/plant? I have a few favorite flowers: Sunflower, Daisy, Tulip, Lilac/Evergreen tree

cute; what did you get on your last birthday? Jewelry and a designer purse

cutie pie; most precious item you own? My dog

cutsie; what makes you happy? My puppy, ice cream, family/good friends

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free. I don’t know if I ever really have

daydream; how do you want to be remembered? Kind, generous, strong, independent

daylight; favorite album of all time? Collide with the Sky - Pierce the Veil

dear; zodiac sign? Leo

delightful; concerts or museums? Concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter? Of course

dobby; dream job? Ice cream/candy store owner

doll; how do you like to dress? Cute but casual; leggings, oversized sweaters, bralettes

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences? I’ve had premonition dreams that have come true

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos? I have 8 and probably want more at some point

drizzle; do you believe in aliens? I’m not really sure

euphoric; talk about someone you love. My best friend: she would do anything for me, we have a bond through our ED that is so strong. It’s hard to explain how we are so close, we are very different and come from different lifestyles but she means the world to me. We don’t need to talk everyday to know that we are there for each other.

fairy; do you have a pet? I have my own dog; an Australian Shepherd and my parents have 4 dogs

fluffy; ocean or mountain? Ocean

forever; where do you feel time stop? Work

froglet; are you a good plant owner? Nope

garden; how many languages do you know? English fluently and then a little French and very little italian

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs? I don’t have any “favorites” I just like tumblrs that post relatable and pretty things

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice? Unicorn/fairy dust/pastel

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not? I wouldn’t mind them but I never get them haha

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself. My smile, my hair, my kindness to others, my work ethic and my abs (since I work pretty hard on them lol)

heart; silk or lace? Lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it? Coffee with 1% milk

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why? People because you can make up life stories about them and create scenarios. Bird watching would be fun for a little while but boring after a half hour

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep? Fan

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather? Hot and sunny!

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends? Have leisurely breakfasts on Saturday and Sunday morning, go to the city either Friday or Saturday and go on adventures, shopping, watch tv and relaxing

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more? Laugh out loud

kinky; do you blush easily? Nah not really

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most? Grand gestures once in a while

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day? Breakfast time

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad? I don’t really have an artist I have various songs by a lot of different people

love; what is your favorite season and why? Summer because I love the heat and being able to wear shorts and flip flops and not wearing 7 layers

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream? Macaron: I haven’t had too many but probably either chocolate or cotton candy. Ice cream: a mocha flavor with either brownie hits, Oreo pieces, or chocolate covered espresso beans

magic; what are five flaws you have? I can get mad easily, I’m not patient, I have ridiculous eating habits, I can be lazy and I have trouble communicating how I’m feeling

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks? Soft pastels

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other? Humor, good looks, kindness, generosity, optimistic

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date? It depends on the season! Hah

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself? On the internet, social media, playing with my puppy, working out, listening to music, watching tv.

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life? Always be kind and respectful because why not?

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more? Bake

prince; how would you describe your handwriting? Neat but after I’ve been writing for a while it turns into a print/script writing

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play? I can play the flute but I haven’t in a while

prinky; how do you relieve stress? Snuggle with my puppy

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable? Raspberry/asparagus

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read? I have no clue

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far? I really have no idea

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you? My gramma’s death

shine; art or music? Music

shimmer; do animals tend to like you? Yes

smitten; do you collect anything? Pins

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with? 1 tempur pedic type pillow then a small pillow on the side

snuggle; what is your favourite candy? Chocolate specifically dark

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind? I have the camera on my phone

sparkle; do you wear jewelry? Yes, rings, bracelets and earrings

spooky; sunrise or sunset? Sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones? No headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child? As a young kid: Barney, as a teen: Lizzie McGuire/Hannah Montana

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house. Either my bed or the couch

soothe; digital or vinyl? Digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now? A few people

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends? Loyalty, kindness, humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing? It depends on the situation but usually practical

sweet; do you find it easy to open up? Depends on the person honestly

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any? I do like kids and I want them but I’m not ready yet

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they? My old boss even tho I have lost touch with her

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself? How observant I am

tootsie; what kind of friend are you? Loving, generous, loyal

treasure; what was something that made you smile today? A student that said hi to me

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl? Unfortunately an early bird

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be? Teleportation

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out? Depends but usually home especially in the winter when it’s freezing

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup? Nope

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person? Mostly tidy

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older? I do love the place I grew up and I’ve moved away and now I’m back, but I just can’t take the cold weather and how expensive it is to sustain yourself here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star? I think once

Source: luneve

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Wayward Hounds

Pairings: Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Word Count: 1,684

A/N: Posted from my old blog and unedited so it may be sloppy AF.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yours or mine?” Sam asked as you rolled off him, half asleep, to get away from the shrill ring of the cell phone.

“Yours.” You grumbled as you belly flopped onto the bed with a grunt. “Can’t we just have one day to sleep in?” you whined as you looked toward your side of the bed to see the time and instead of the clock, you came face to face with your massive pit bull, Titus.

“Wayward Hounds, this is Sam.” Your husband said sleepily as he sat up and flipped on the light and you lifted your head off the pillow. 5:57. Half hour until your alarm would be going to go off anyways. Your eyes trailed over the 5 dogs that lay on the bed, hopefully looking at you with tails wagging. “Yea, Jody. Give us like half hour to let our pups out and we will head out there.” Sam said and you growled happily at Minnie, the pit/ lab mix you happened to be looking at, at the idea of having to get out of bed. 

“Daddy is not very nice.” You said to your dogs and you felt Sam’s hand fall in a gentle smack on your ass. You smiled as Titus and Astro, both big mama’s boys jumped off the bed in your defense. “Looks like someone’s in trouble.” You said with a glance toward your husband, as Sam hung up the phone. He raised his hands up over your back with a smirk on his face, challenging the two monstrous dogs and they leapt on top of you to get to him as he playfully played the drums on your bare back side.

“Alright, alright.” Sam said with a laugh as the room was filled with barks. “God you would think we owned a zoo instead of pits!” he said as he pushed Zippo off of you. You flipped your dreads back and glared at him.

“Well, when you attack the mama…” you said as you shoved him with a laugh. “So, where are we going today?” you asked as you rolled on your back, stretching across the bed in the little space available. Sam bent over quickly and blew a raspberry on your stomach and you squealed as you tried to wiggle away from him. 

“We are going to rescue a litter of puppies that are running across 17.” He said and your eyes shot wide. “And no, we are not keeping them.” He told you and you pouted.

“What about just one?” you asked as you wiggled on the bed, you pat an empty spot on the bed by your head. “He could sleep right here.” you said and Sam laughed.

“(Y/N), we have five and run a rescue. Can you honestly tell me you don’t get enough puppy love all day long?” he asked as he got out of bed and you shrugged. 

“You can never have enough puppy love, Sam.” You said as you rolled off the bed. “You got dogs or coffee?” you asked Sam as you walked toward the bathroom, grabbing jeans and a sports bra on your way. 

“I’ll take the dogs.” He said as he pulled on his shirt and opened the bedroom door. “Alright, pups. Let’s go.” The room was filled with sounds of dog pants and the clinking of dog ID tags as your five fur children leapt off the bed and darted toward the back door. You got dressed quickly, tying your hair back with a bandana and you grabbed the first shirt off the pile clean clothes you didn’t put away from the night before.

“Do we know how many puppies?” You asked as you started up the coffee pot, grabbing two traveler mugs from the cabinet as the room filled with the sound of dog food hitting the bottom of metal bowls.

“Jody said 4 but they kept running back to a ditch. She managed to catch 1 so far.” You turned and looked at him as he tied off the bag of food.

“The mother?” Sam shook his head with a shrug and you didn’t say anything. Rescues involving puppies were always hard.

“Van’s stocked up?” Sam asked as he opened the back door to let the dogs back in and a blast of cold wind followed your four-legged children inside and you shivered as you nodded.

“Vet-mobile is good to go!” you told him as you poured coffee in the two mugs. “Ready?” you asked as you handed him a mug and he nodded as he grabbed his keys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Come here, baby.” You said to the last puppy as you pushed yourself a little farther into the drainage ditch. “I’m not here to hurt you, little one.” The tips of your fingers wrapped around the scruff of the little dogs neck and you smiled to yourself as you kicked your foot. “There we go sweetheart.” You soothed the squealing pup and you pulled it to your chest as Sam’s large hands grabbed your ankles, pulling you out of the drainage ditch on the flat roller you had created for this exact purpose. 

“Last one?” Sam asked as your head cleared the tunnel and you nodded as you handed the puppy up to him. 

“Far as I could see.” You got up and stretched slightly, your back cracking from being on the roller for the past 3 hours. There weren’t four puppies, there were 9 and their poor mother was nowhere to be found. You shook your head as you stood up. “What would you say 2 months?” you asked as Sam looked at the puppy you had just handed him.

“If that… these babies are tiny.” You walked toward the van as you shook your head.

“Who just leaves puppies as cute as this on the side of the road?” you asked as you opened the back door. You looked at the 8 puppies you had laying in the deep dog bed under a dull heat lamp and shook your head. “At least they look like they were take care of so that’s a plus.” You shoved the roller behind your chair.

“They were definitely family pets. No fleas or scabies and only 2 ticks between the 9 of them; negative for parvo, heartworms or any other parasites. We got here just in time babe.” Sam said as he checked out the last puppy while you sat down on the ground and picking up the nearest puppy.

“So, we while we are sitting here, we gotta come up with names.” You said as you looked at the sleeping puppy you held in your hands. Sam groaned.

“(Y/N), if you name them, we are gunna end up keeping one like we always do.” He said as he drew blood from the wiggly puppy on the table. You turned the puppy in your hands toward him with a pout.

“Baby, can you really say no to this face?” you pouted and he smiled.

“Honestly, I was gunna keep one the second Jody called us.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Sam!” Dean called out from the back row of kennels and you looked up from the dog run to see Dean struggling to keep Pepper in her cage. She had given birth to a littler of pups 2 weeks ago and she wasn’t letting anyone in the cage for any reason. How Dean forgot that you had no idea.

“Damn it, Dean” Sam yelled as he dropped the two large bags of dogfood he had on his shoulder before he darted across the property to help his brother. You tried to move to help but watching your husband, seeing the sweat soaked t-shirt sticking to his body, accentuating every muscle moving as he pulled the cage door shut while Dean pushed the dog into the cage, latching it closed before she had a chance to try to get out again. You shook your head as you stood up, leaning against the fence surrounding the dog run. You couldn’t help but sigh as you watched the love of your life run his forearm across his forehead to wipe the sweat away and you felt your stomach flutter. God he was so hot.

“Damn, baby! Take it off!” you yelled out with a smile and Sam looked across the yard at you with a smile. He walked over to you and as he pulled his shirt up to wipe his face, you groaned. Even after 5 years of marriage and 2 years of dating before that, you still couldn’t get enough of him. As he walked into the pen, the group of dogs that you had out playing ran toward the new playmate and he laughed as he squatted down to say hi. The smile he had on his face as he was knocked to the ground was mesmerizing and if you had to guess, his eyes were shining with love as the dogs attacked him with slobbery kisses. Starting the rescue had been Sam’s idea after he had found baby Titus, tied to a tree, a chain digging into his neck while he was doing his residency as a vet 6 years ago and while it had been a challenge, at the end of the day it was absolutely worth all the hard times the two of you had gone through.

“They never run out of love do they?” Sam asked as he came over to you, wiping dirt and grass from his hands onto pants and you shook your head as you pushed off the fence. 

“They get a second chance at a happy life, baby. You would love the person who rescued you too.” Sam wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned down to kiss your nose. 

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked and you blushed slightly. “Especially when you smile; I love your smile.” You smiled again, hiding your face in his chest with a laugh.

“You make me smile, baby. Always have.” You told him as you looked up at him.

“And I never plan on stopping.”

[garethandjude]

Day +27

School was once again a highlight. The stone age theme continues and today Sam made 2 cave paintings of animals from the stone age. Sam's teacher, Liz, has laminated them and they are now decorating the walls of our cave. A few Skype calls home and to North Wales also helped lift Sam's spirits on what was otherwise a quiet day with a lot of sleeping.

Sam has once again spiked a temperature and so unfortunately we're back on the antibiotics but hopefully it was a one off. He's also due platelets and red cells. Given his history with platelets and it's now the night shift the platelets are likely to be tomorrow morning. The reds should be transfused tonight.

The sores under Sam's armpits and on his fingers seem to be improving with the new creams and the dermatologist who saw him today was happy and will see him again later this week. Sam’s tummy doesn't seem to be hurting him anymore too, so hopefully we've seen the back of whatever was causing that, although he continues to have a few nauseous episodes. The Dr's are also trying to introduce some oral meds. When they appeared this morning, Sam shrewdly fell asleep. We did manage to coax him to take 1 of the 2 when he woke up but I can't see him taking any tonight if he needs to be woken up for them!

Being Tuesday, it’s 5 weeks to Christmas and a consultant day. Sam's white cell count is still not recovering even with the stimulating factor (GCSF). Our managed expectations are that the Whites sometimes take a bit longer than normal and may appear in the coming days.They can and may increase the dose of GCSF too. The consultants are also trying to book a contingency theatre slot for next Tuesday to conduct a bone marrow aspirate. This will be used to determine the % of host v graft in the bone marrow using the DNA records they have of Sam and Rhys. They will also check the bone marrow for levels of parvovirus too. None of this is routine. The next routine general anesthetic was meant to be when his wigglies are removed. Hopefully the aspirate will not be needed, but the knowledge that this is being considered and that the GCSF hasn't worked it's magic to date, only serves to heighten our anxiety and trigger a 101 questions and thoughts on why?

In parallel and on a more positive note, the consultants are also discussing what needs to happen to get Sam home in 2 to 3 weeks time. The biggest challenge is feeding and taking all his medication orally. Sam has no interest in either. NG tubes and PEG tubes are options. A transfer to Watford on TPN may be a possibility too, to be weened onto Solids there. A few weeks ago Sam was anti NG and PEG. We hoped his refusal to have either may coerce him into taking everything orally, but Today he told me he would have a PEG. A theatre slot is being booked for 2 weeks time just in case. Jude and I don't want to put him through more surgery and hope the PEG can be avoided but the reality is that for the next few months, Sam will have 25 or more doses of medicine to take a day, at all hours of the day, some of which are vile tasting. Without his cooperation, it is sure to be massive conflict area. A PEG would allow us to feed him medicine and nutrition without having to wake him up or taste anything. At 7 years old it will be Sam that will ultimately have the biggest say on what route we take.

20.11.18