#why you were stressing over making
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Moments to save from chapter 1:
“I seriously don’t think this is a good idea.” The voice of your father interrupted the vote, in his seat on the high council it seemed his voice was always overheard. “My daughter is on that list and I don’t want to lose her because you’re too selfish to check if up there is safe yourself! You’re risking the next generation!”
It’s so sweet how the father tries to protect his daughter despite knowing he cannot do anything but to let her go :(
“Kevin!” You smiled, running to give him a hug not realising your surroundings just yet. Leaves stuck in your hair that he began to pick out. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”
Love me some Kevin bestie and I am all here for it. Need some support if I have to survive mean Juyo yk?
“We’re not gonna die. But if your privileged asses think so, I would happily dump you both back down there.” The voice of a boy chimed in behind you, causing you to whip your head around to source the owner of such venomous words.
Okay ik he’s being rude here but like…it’s Juyeon and I like this attitude he is giving. Always read this down for you bad Juyeon who is all sweet so a slight change in his personality and character is new and I like it hehe
"As beautiful as this landscape is, your parents sent us up here to die, my problem? Or do you mean my many problems with your royal status down in that bunker. Your parents executed my father for disagreeing with that monstrosity of a system down there, so whilst we're up here don't do you dare cross me. I'll rip that chip on your arm clean off and let them believe your dead." He drew the knife to your arm pointing at the bright green chip blinking brightly, which you hadn't yet used.
Well nothing else to say but the fact that he is hot..
"Who's next?!" He yelled, subjects lineing up to have their monitoring device removed. "It's freedom time angel." He turned to you with an evil look in his eyes, the pet name not doing anything to help your opinion of him.
Plz tell me he calls me angel again 🥺😭. I am a sucker for these type of nicknames especially if it’s cocky Juyeon..
“Not like the ones in the books though. It was born into radioactivity. That’s why it looks like that.” The voice of that boy called Hyunjae buts in again, taking a seat beside you and Kevin. “It’s beautiful don’t you think?”
Not a big reason to save this but I just loved this small interaction :) it was cute and wholesome. The way hyunjae just naturally joined their conversation 😭
GENESIS ༉‧₊˚.
chapter one / series navi / next..
༉‧₊˚. > description: the bunker project genesis is being discussed, it seems as if the plan to send the delinquent youth to the surface is their only chance to guarantee whether it’s truly survivable up there.. that’s if.. it is successful..
༉‧₊˚. > word count: 2.1k+
༉‧₊˚. > warnings: profanity, some violence and upsetting topics.
Deep somewhere underground, a large bunker system laid beneath the earth with a population of around 3000 which was only expanding. 177 years ago the world was destroyed by nuclear warfare, the earth was made a toxic wasteland, a radioactive hell. The only survivors being those who’d made it to the bunker system before the bombs were detonated. Amongst them, mainly aristocrats, politicians, essentially those with enough money to pay themselves into a space of survival.
Food, Medical supplies and Oxygen were all running low as they were bound to at some point. Rationing had only worked for around a decade, the bunker was dying and as the elected higher council met, they devised a plan that would risk the lives of both their children and the next generation. Your father Daniel Stacey, elected to the council for his outstanding work in engineering nervously chewed at his fingernails over the metal table in the meeting room.
“Are you sure this would work?” The chancellor intently listened to his second in command, chewing at his lip. “I mean it’s our own children we’re risking.”
“Confident sir, it gives them a second chance instead of being trapped in their cells awaiting execution.” The second commander commented, reviewing the list of names across the page. “It’s the only chance we have of knowing whether it’s safe to live up there.”
“Shall we vote?” Another voice chirped up, as the rest nodded in response. The hands raised in favour of the experiment was an overwhelming majority.
“I seriously don’t think this is a good idea.” The voice of your father interrupted the vote, in his seat on the high council it seemed his voice was always overheard. “My daughter is on that list and I don’t want to lose her because you’re too selfish to check if up there is safe yourself! You’re risking the next generation!”
“Mr. Stacey sir, you’re not in the position to overthrow the decisions made by your fellow council members. Besides, the next generation in this society are the ones who don’t go around causing mayhem.” Another board member spoke up, causing your father to sit back down in his seat biting his tongue.
“You’re sending them to their deaths.” He mumbled under his breath, his arms folded not making eye contact with anyone over the table.
“We’re giving them the chance of a new beginning. I’m the chancellor of this system and what I say goes. Don’t question my authority, Daniel.” The chancellor aggressively stood up from his chair, glaring at your father with his warning eyes. “Council dismissed.”
It had been just over 100 days since you’d been imprisoned for causing a catastrophic blackout in the bunkers, you’d counted the days by scratching a pebble into the metal walls of your chamber each day. You’d never expected for the officers of the bunker to snatch you out on day 107, two of them escorting you into the hallway.
“What the fuck are you doing?” You struggled against them as they restrained you, roughly forcing you against the concrete floor.
All of a sudden there was nothing, the darkness falling heavy over your eyes. You’d been shot with a tranquilliser and were currently being dragged across the hallway with a few other inmates.
The next thing your conscious enough to hear was the sound of someone fiddling with something in a metal container, perhaps a scalpel, tweezers?
“She’s waking up.” An unknown voice utters, the sound muffled through your blocked ears, as your head swayed against the back of the medical room chair.
“Insert the patch quickly.” The familiar voice of your father was distant in the blur of lights above you, you then felt a painful stab to right side of your arm. Tinnitus ringing in both your ears, your head spinning and aching in the sound of chaos.
“I’m sorry y/n. I tried everything I could.” You felt a kiss on your forehead, it almost sounded as if your father was crying, the sniffling evident between his words.
“Stacey times up, she needs to go up.” The sound of the chancellor confused you, you were about to sit up before suddenly you’d been knocked out again.
༉‧₊˚.—��————————————————————༉‧₊˚.
A blinding brightness caused you to immediately squint your eyes as you sprung to sit up, an unfamiliar breeze blowing towards you like an air conditioner in the bunkers but it was so much stronger. You smelt something unfamiliar, a smell only recognisable from the underground farms. Dirt?
You managed to open your eyes fully, a pile of sleeping bodies around you, some beginning to gain consciousness.
“Y/N!!” A cheery voice so dear to you echoed through your readjusting hearing, you turned in the direction it came from. Faintly recognising the boy from his signature sage green denim jacket and light wash denim jeans.
“Kevin!” You smiled, running to give him a hug not realising your surroundings just yet. Leaves stuck in your hair that he began to pick out. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”
“Is this earth?” You asked, shocked looking around at the forest, the sky overcast yet still beautiful. Flowers bloomed around you, the air so fresh as you span around and basked in the beauty of it all.
“Yeah it is.” He smiled standing next to you, as you overlooked the flowers growing from one of the many bushes dotted around the dumping space.
You found yourself looking around at the others, there were only young people here, no mature adults, just juveniles. You looked at Kevin confused, not understanding what was going on.
“They’ve sent the juveniles up here to see if it’s safe to live on the surface.” Kevin sighed, his eyes following yours as you looked at the others who were beginning to wake up. “Your dad didn’t agree, however mine did. So I decided I wouldn’t let you go alone, so I stole some medical supplies from the infirmary.”
“You did what?! Kevin, why? We could die up here! It’s radioactive!” You began to stress, all of the beauty of the world collapsing around you at once.
“We’re not gonna die. But if your privileged asses think so, I would happily dump you both back down there.” The voice of a boy chimed in behind you, causing you to whip your head around to source the owner of such venomous words.
A boy with messily gelled black hair, fair complexion with a smude of dirt on his cheek below his intimidating cat-like eyes glared at you as if he was trying to turn both you and Kevin to stone. He sat on top of a large pile of rocks, sharpening a stick with his pocket knife.
"What's your problem?" You laughed, watching as he paused his actions looking up at you before jumping down from the rocks and firmly landing on two feet.
"As beautiful as this landscape is, your parents sent us up here to die, my problem? Or do you mean my many problems with your royal status down in that bunker. Your parents executed my father for disagreeing with that monstrosity of a system down there, so whilst we're up here don't do you dare cross me. I'll rip that chip on your arm clean off and let them believe your dead." He drew the knife to your arm pointing at the bright green chip blinking brightly, which you hadn't yet used.
"Right everybody get up, I'm gonna need axes by nightfall!" He walked over to the group of subjects that were dumped beside a large oak tree by the sealed entrance to the bunker system.
"What do you need an axe for?" You approached him again, Kevin following closely behind like a lost penguin.
"Making sure no one follows us. The last thing those bastards on the higher council deserve is to get out after using us as their lab rats." He smirked, the shock settling in as you followed his eye line towards the large oak tree above the bunker.
"You can't trap them down there, what if we need help?!" Kevin butted in watching the group become minions, cheering for the boys words as if he'd already established himself as group leader.
"Help? Just because you’re the chancellor’s son? As if they'd risk their lives to help us, they need to see if we die first. In fact what a good idea, if they think we're dead they'll never come up! I'll go first!" The boy cheered sarcastically, as you watcched him slice the device off his arm falling to the floor as he crushed it beneath his boot.
"No! You can't do this what if your parent-" Realising he'd mentioned his lack of family, you sighed retracting your sentence. He shook his head with a chuckle of belief, cracking a sly smile as he once again turned to the group.
"Who's next?!" He yelled, subjects lineing up to have their monitoring device removed. "It's freedom time angel." He turned to you with an evil look in his eyes, the pet name not doing anything to help your opinion of him.
"Thanks Juyeon man." One of them smiled, running of excitedly to fine scrap metal from the bunker to make an axe.
His name was Juyeon, you'd heard that before but where? Who was his father? How did you know that name?
"Guys, we can't remove those devices! What if something bad happens!" You yelled trying to reason with Juyeon's new followers, watching as they hesitated for a moment - looking at their devices fearfully.
"Have we seen anything dangerous yet? If this place is so unsurvivable wouldn't we be dead already? Pipe down y/n." He laughed, watching as the group roared in agreement, the line only getting longer making judgemental eye contact with you as their devices were cut off.
"How do you even know my name?" You looked at him confused, him turning back his back to you to ignore the question shaking his head.
"Who doesn't? Angel of the system, a privelged girl who found one thing she couldn't get away with." Another voice chirped into the conversation, standing beside you and Kevin was a boy with light brown hair arranged into curtains wearing a beige jacket and green cargos. "It's Hyunjae by the way."
"You're introducing yourself to me after straight up insulting me?" You scoffed, snapping your neck to look at him with a disgusted look. He smiled, his eyes shining like crescent moons.
“I was just telling you to truth, not trying to offend ya.” He shrugged, walking towards Juyeon handing him a bit of rope he’d found. “I quite like freedom, you should try it out.”
You shook your head, turning to Kevin and agreeing to have a quiet moment away from the group. You sat on a ledge in the forest, a long slope down into lower terrain. You threw a rock downwards towards the line watching it bounce over the dirt.
“I didn’t think earth was this pretty. I mean look at the trees, it’s everything the books told us.” Kevin smiled, admiring a collection of fallen leaves he’d collected in the palm of his hands.
“I keep forgetting I haven’t seen you in so long.” You chuckled nudging him in the shoulder bittersweetly.
“Then maybe it’s a good thing we’re up here. We’re free right?” He sighed, breathing in the air and laying backwards on the dirt, his eyes widening as he spots something. “Y/n what is that?”
You follow his finger, as he points up to a bird with glowing neon pink wings, singing an off tune melody from its beak.
“It’s a bird. I think?” You looked up confused at the creature perched on the branch.
“Not like the ones in the books though. It was born into radioactivity. That’s why it looks like that.” The voice of that boy called Hyunjae buts in again, taking a seat beside you and Kevin. “It’s beautiful don’t you think?”
“Yeah actually.” You smile as it flies away, the melody getting further away as you embrace the nature around you.
“I think some of us are splitting off going to find water, if you wanna come with me?” He asked, looking at you with a curious gaze and a smile. The breeze gently trembling in his hair.
“That’s not an invitation for me is it?” Kevin asked, stating the obvious pointing towards his chest with a deep sigh.
“I’m not going without you so it has to be.” You commented, turning back towards Hyunjae who shrugged nonchalantly.
“He can come too if he wants.” He replied getting to his feet, and dusting the dirt off his hands.
As the three of you passed the dumping space again, you caught eyes with that Juyeon boy again, the same dirty intimidating glare piercing through you like daggers. His jaw was clenched, as you and Kevin passed he seemed to start sharpening that stick of his more furiously. Seriously what had you done to hurt him? You couldn't understand his aggression.
i may start a tag list !! please comment if you’d like to join it! <3
#reading this made me realise#why you were stressing over making#Juyeon’s character mean 😭#like yeah it suits him#and it is like that for the#series but it is truly not easy 😭#but I am hooked for the#next chapter <3#and take your time clo#no rush#moot: clo 🌸#fic rec: genesis#artist: cloverdaisies#member: Juyeon#group: the boyz
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Woke up with hatered in my heart for Meet The Robinsons, always fucking hated that movie as a child as the time travel stressed me out sm due to how the future was handled, I hated futuristic stuff that looks like that. I still do tbh ☠️ and time travel movies have always stressed me out because I don’t like people changing the past!! Stop! Leave it aloneeeee! Also this probably explains my love for old timey shit. It’s just better okay. Futuristic shit looks like ASS!!!!
#I seriously have woken up multiple times thinking about how I hate this movie why does my brain default to this#I have trauma over this ok /jjjjjjj#ok I’m going back to bed#meet the robinsons#BUT I LOVE INTERSTELLAR AND SCI-FI MOVIES I MAKE ZERO SENSE#I hated how the future was shown at the end of interstellar though that was stressful…#Like I would not want to live there#I think. I just don’t like major amounts of change ☠️☠️#ewwww flying cars boooooo (I don’t think those were in interstellar actually)#I’ll probably delete this when I wake up later and realize I wrote down my insane ramblings#Sci-ficand futuristic stuff look different in my mind you don’t get it
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Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...
#i'm two seconds away from nuking everything in my queue and drafts out of spite#but i don't feel good about that bc there's innocent collateral#this is tumblr‚ the place you're supposed to fucking share the stuff that your friend's and other people are making#and i get it‚ it's not possible to like and reblog everything here‚ i understand that and i'm not expecting that#it just sucks constantly feeling like no one gives a shit about the stuff you're proud of and put effort into‚ y'know?#there's an entire subsection of this fandom that basically ignores any vper that isn't running modded on pc#which is like half the fucking fandom and i definitely pissed some of those people off just for choosing who i associate with#i've been writing in this fandom for three years now and i still don't feel like i have any fucking writing friends#or a good place to get technical support#the writing associates i do have either don't read anything i write or when they do won't comment for some inexplicable reason#(if you're an author on ao3 you know‚ first hand‚ damn well how much comments mean to authors‚ so what's the deal?)#(if you actually don't like it‚ it's fine‚ don't even touch the kudos button‚ no one has to know you were there)#i'm traumatized from my previous discord experiences and am very reluctant to let people into my circle without vetting them first#even tumblr communities is a struggle for me because it still feels a like a popularity/social influence contest#and i know i'm fucking slow#sue me for having a life outside of the internet and wanting to be mindful and thoughtfully engaged with other people's artwork#i talk to people in the tags#i've been leaving comments on every fic i read now#i'm not expecting people to bend over backwards for me#but fostering community and friendships requires mutual exchange#and it's shitty feeling like you're generosity is constantly being fucking wasted#i'm trying to keep it fun around here but a lot aren't helping with that and this isn't a job for one person#sorry not sorry for the rant but i've been feeling very salty about this as of late#i know the holidays can be stressful and the fandom in general has been slowly shrinking which has probably exacerbated these issues#a lot of folks have moved on#but these issues have always been here and they aren't magically going to go away unless people work on them#i'm not expecting anything i make to break the bank at this point but when your friends won't even put your crappy art on the fridge anymor#like why are we here?#i also don't understand the people who are following me but never interact with anything i make???#rambling into the void
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People who don't want Nickel & Suitcase to make up realize that they're the two most important people to Balloon right. They realize that them not making up would cause a lot of unnecessary conflict between the three. Right? Like do you really want Balloon and Suitcase to have conflict no no one wants that
#ii balloon#ii nickel#ii suitcase#inanimate insanity#It would put Balloon in such a weird place that makes no sense for his arc#He's happy he's healthy his arc is over why give him problems?#Especially since Balloon and Suitcase are each other's support they were helping each other get through S2#and well. Balloon and Nickel are the same. Not exactly the same ofc but they bring out the best in each other#Both relationships are so so important to Balloon why would you put him in a place where it's unstable#object posting#Like Nickel & Suitcase are stuck with each other it just wouldn't make sense from a writing pov#Edit cuz I just realized something and I don't want people pissing on the poor:#BALLOON WOULDN'T BE MAD AT SUITCASE FOR NOT MAKING UP WITH NICKEL! IT WOULD JUST BE VERY STRESSFUL AND AWKWARD
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if my parents keep talking to me im going to (remembers that suicide jokes are bad for mental health) go outside and dig a hole to narnia
#borbtalks#'borb u got a letter from vsp. why are you paying for vsp. i dont think u need it bc of xyz. oh you're getting mail from y insurance?#they're a good company. im also covered under them. are they cheaper than ur previous one? they must be. did u know medicare has a page#online where u can compare all the plans? well did you? ik you've been on medicare longer than me but idk if you knew :/#sooo do u have a valid drivers license? oh when did u get it renewed? when does it expire? we were looking at car insurance earlier...#oh btw when are they gonna reevaluate u for disability? do u know? when did they last reevaluate u? when do they reevaluate others?#ANYWAY. what if i brought over x's dog. the dog that stresses ur cats out so much that they puke everywhere and spend all day hiding :)#wdym it'll stress [cat] out. what if he. didn't get stressed? :)'#like SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#cant even walk into the bathroom without her trying to talk to me. can't make dinner w/o her trying to talk to me#and of course im the bad guy in telling her not to stress the cat out#just by saying 'vet says he's not supposed to get stressed out. he's at a higher risk for blockage if he does#which will KILL him.'#same woman who sat next to me while i was the phone w/ the phone company. petting the cat and whispering 'oh borb abuses u doesn't he?#maybe ill just steal you away one day. keep u away from borb. oh yes borb treats u oh so horribly.'#and my dad. sitting on the other side of me. said absolutely nothing.#i get it. im the family's designated fuck up!! the designated brat !!!! and no one gives a shit if my feelings get hurt !!!!!!!#i swear. my mother could smack me and everyone would rush to her side and comfort her stinging hand
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Theres no season 4 because theyre too scared to animate the canon gay couple. They know its going to change the dr stone mrm ecosystem forever
#its the smug way that xeno introduces stanley as 'ex military' like yes he used to work for the state but now he works for ME#Listen to my problems#like tsukasen is already so popular if theyre gonna introduce another hot guy x silly guy couple AND theyre adults AND theyre evil#itll be fucking game over. actually maybe not. since theyre adults. they only wanna do dj of kids#and the current stanxeno doujins all have a very specific mature bl vibe that tsukasen struggles to match#and its so fucking funny when he immediately cracks an inside joke because he doesnt like stanleys smoking habit but hes literally the one#making the cigarettes for him like he just fucking loves him its so funny. and then when we see stan actually doing his job he complains#that xeno likes overloading him with equipment because he wants him to be at his best#and near the end he... he SHYLY hands him a pack of chewable tobacco like 'here since you cant smoke in space' <- HUH#like thinking of his nicotine addiction is already crazy enough but SHYLY looking away and handing them to him ? what was that ? why#did he get nervous ? is he gay ?#im not even talking about the face grab scene because stanley was literally about to make out with him if senku wasnt standing right there#this isnt fanfic like he reached out in canon and grabbed xenos chin and forcibly tilted his head up to look into his eyes#and it wasnt for a contrived plot reason he just did that because he wanted to. and it was never explained#like senku staring at ryusuis ass can be explained away because he just likes guys but stanley doing that was so actively and aggressively#homosexual behaviour i cant stress how much he just randomly did that#and the focus on his lips in the previous panels before that part. also pretty funny#his lips that were so beautiful that everybody thought he wore lipstick but no theyre just a perfect shade of deep red
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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um personally i think that if your girlfriend is insecure over you being friends with another girl you should run far away really fast. but i may be misreading the situation. i don't think i am though.
#i may be misreading. all i know is she got pissed at my friend while we were hanging out but friend has mentioned that she's 'got#trauma over being cheated on' which is understandable but we have been friends for a year and also i go out of my way to try and make this#girl understand i want to be her friend and i'm not trying for anything. i have a fucking bf. she has met my bf. she has seen how i am#around my bf vs around her gf. we r legit just friends. what the fuck man. please be normal and don't stress ur gf out like this. it's mean#:( idk all i know for sure is she said something that upset her while i was out of earshot but im using context clues and im not stupid.#genuinely i think she is misreading some stuff. yes me and her gf/my friend get along really really well but it's like.. two kids who met i#a playplace kind of way. we do shenanigans and talk about stuff. i do not want to fw her. i am not willing to fw such a heavy smoker.#i love her dearly but sometimes i think she is- love and light- incredibly pretentious in a way that irritates me a little. fine for a#friend. intolerable in a partner. many reasons why i would never. also I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. THAT I AM SO SERIOUS ABOUT.#insulting to me. honestly. but i could be misreading but i don't think i am.#and insulting as fuck to her gf who is head over heels possibly blindly in love with her my god.#idk i just don't trust that she isn't still insecure about me. and i don't like that she said something upsetting while we were having fun.#i don't like it.#girl i dont want your gf for so many reasons. also i am in a relationship what the fuck girl. what the fuck do you think of me. and also#have some fucking trust in your own gf. insane behavior. insane. she would never ever cheat on her she is possibly one of the most honest#and like. morally sound people i have ever met. she would never. it's so fucked up to think that of her.
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Post-war Katsuki has taylor's Lover album on repeat and you will not convince me otherwise
#so many of the lyrics#ALL OF AFTERGLOW MY GOD#the entirety of soon you'll get better#lover: can i go where you go? can we always be this close forever and ever?#cruel summer: i love you. ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?#i think he knows: when we get all alone I'll make myself at home and he'll want me to stay#paper rings: cat and mouse for a month or two or three#death by a thousand cuts: but if the story's over why am i still writing pages?#false god: we were crazy to think that this could work. remember how i said i'd die for you?#miss americana: it's you and me. that's my whole world#nice to have a friend: you've been stressed out? yeah me too. something gave you the nerve to touch my hand#daylight: i don't wanna look at anything else now that i saw you (i can never look away).#daylight: i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you (things will never be the same)#bakugo katsuki#bkdk#katsuki bakugo
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cassandra isnt using the cheese wheel anymore. F
#ghosts howling#oh it was so fucking funny though#other things: war table is so stressful. throne is stressful. heron may be a good leader but i sure am not#i think im holding her back.. not making the smart decisions... because im not very smart#im too scared to sit on the throne again so only like two people have been sentenced and one was the tutorial guy#and i fucked it up (it was in character but fucking things up still hurts me even if its in character. because im an empath (joke))#my mercenary company loves me which is GOOD heron loves them too. im glad they were happy with fighting demons#ummm other stuff? im still emo about varric. im also emo over the fact that hes probably the character with highest approval rn#(idk how to check or if you even can check) so like the guy i get along with the best is the guy who i personally hurt beyond belief#feeling so very normal about it#i dont think im able to keep anyone happy. im so bad at this stuff. but also its everyone elses fault for suddenly making me a prophet#so now theyre going to have to deal with me and how bad i am at politics#also i hate how many war table nodes are best solved with spies i can rarely find something to throw cullen onto#uugghh why am i MINMAXING TIME in a SINGLE PLAYER GAME#okay theres my daily complaint about war table timers back to grinding areas and side quests and such while they play out
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based on your asks responses & characterization of yuuta this is what i’ve gathered — yuuta is like that one high school senior who looked at the new coming freshman’s & just adopted them on the spot. there’s no out. now his friends sees the kid & adopted them too. it’s a family now. a very young, close in age family. (i was yuuta in this situation 😔 i was use to be megumi in this situation but i carried the tradition out. as i should. high school & middle school was wild.)
YUUJI THOUGH. we will probably never see him in your sea glass garden au but your asks is killing me. like his one sided beef with yuuta? he’s just like me fr. i too would fight over megumi if it comes down to it.
i just know yuuji thought that yuuta & megumi was a thing at first cause of the whole “his boy thing”. i know he screamed into a pillow about it. i know he went to gojo to ask for permission to court megumi & gojo was flabbergasted at such a medieval act so he had yuuji do the dumbest shit to get his blessing (ha).
i just know nanami is sighing at the idea of his son yuuji being a jealous little brat because of his other son yuuta. i just know yuuta was so confused until he witnessed yuuji & megumi awkward ass flirting. i know he acts like a little shit to get on yuuji (& sukuna) nerves.
you know what. this is my jujutsu kaisen. this is my sorcery fight. gege who? i only know you. PLS TAKE THE PEN FROM GEGE.
Yuuta is absolutely that senior who adopted that new student and made a little family. That is His Kohai now okay megumi is their collectively raised flour sack baby and they will kill for him.
Yuuji came back to life finally met the second years had just leveled up with his cursed energy and gained a new dad got his old friends back he was so so ready to go live his best life and then his new self appointed brother opened his mouth and started rhapsodizing about some impossibly beautiful and perfect man named okkotsu yuuta and yuuji is absolutely whacked in the face a la rubber squeaky hammer that there’s some gorgeous son of a bitch out there already living his best life.
His death sentence was overturned. He’s so powerful that he can save everyone if he wants. He is the legally adopted child of Nanami Kento. The curse attached to him 1) actually liked him and 2) moved the fuck on which some people (Sukuna) could take a few notes on.
Fushiguro Megumi is his boy.
This could not have devastated him more thoroughly. Even his newly acquired self appointed brother thinks okkotsu yuuta is the perfect man, which he manages to express at length in between warnings from the second years that Yuuta’s going to fly back from Africa purely for the sake of kicking his fucking ass for touching His Boy, which yuuji simply cannot handle.
Yuuji lowkey had a new lease on life and thought “hey! Fushiguro tried to kill someone with an elephant for me! Maybe I have a shot and he’ll let me hold his hand!” and then there’s god’s perfect man off in Africa who’s enticing megumi away from movie marathons with his fucking FaceTime calls right when yuujis almost hyped himself up enough to try the yawning arm stretch thing.
He spends at least three weeks trying to figure out if Megumi’s His Boy because they’re in a long distance relationship and it only ends because maki starts finding it more annoying than funny and establishes that it is not in fact a romantic arrangement. She thinks. (Okay it’s still kind of funny.)
Yuuji resorted to a terrible wikihow on how to get someone to date you and it insisted “get their parents approval” was his in and gojo could NOT have been more of an asshole about it. Nanami had to intervene to get it to stop. He is very tired and very confused. Why are you so upset about okkotsu he’s a lovely young man why is this making you more upset
Of course if yuuji ever found out that megumi became Yuuta’s boy after Yuuta personally restarted his heart he’d instantly understand why everyone acts like Yuuta’s the best thing since sliced bread. He is that amazing.
Yuuta and Megumi are completely oblivious to all of this.
Gege pls call me I just want to help gege pls
#sea glass gardens#just remember YOU can forcibly displace gege and turn the creative property over to me#I will be making several. SEVERAL. changes.#yuuji absolutely goes back into his room and screams into his pillow over Yuuta#he was going to try to hold Megumi’s hand and Megumi left to go talk to Yuuta just because he was ‘calling all the way from Africa’ and ‘the#movie ended five minutes ago why were you just sitting there looking like you were really stressed are you okay itadori’#nobara is exhausted just watching this#she’s the most homophobic lesbian alive why do lgbtq things happen to people who don’t deserve it#god she just wants a girlfriend with a sword and these fucking assholes are the ones who get their high school romance they don’t even#APPRECIATE the gay things happening to them#ignoring all canon since we’re never getting there in sea glass gardens#when Yuuta’s coming back from Africa Megumi’s very simply stating that Yuuta’s an important person in his life and he’s glad yuuji wjll#meet him soon which might as well be a DECLARATION OF UNDYING LOVE yuuji has a total crisis#yuuta gets off the plane and fucking hugs megumi yuuji had to get boyfriend privileges to do that who is this son of a bitch#gojo watching this: do you think I can get yuuji to wash my car again if I tell him I’ll distract Yuuta so he can take Megumi on a date#Nanami: why on earth would okkotsu need to be distracted for that to happen#gojo: that’s the beauty of it it is in no way necessary but yuuji doesn’t seem to know that
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#vent#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#stuff
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grrrrrrr
#my dad drives me fucking crazy#and it goes up like 10 notches when my older sister and her husband come over#like. i love seeing them they're my family whatever.#but god the chaos and the NOISE just makes my skin crawl#but anyway. i dont know why my dad doesnt seem to understand#like. he has two autistic children (only one of which he even barely acknowledges is autistic but yknow)#but we've been. displaying autistic behavior. for oh idk 15 years#but he cannot get it in his head that we like to know things in advance#just coming in and saying 'we're doing this thing that affects you' is so utterly stressful and frustrating#what happened to 'hey we were talking about doing this- does that sound okay to you?' like. it's not hard#having the choice and the consent and the knowledge ahead of time taken away from me is more important than whatever the thing is#like maybe i would like to do whatever you're suggesting. but the fact that you barged in and said 'its happening' makes me fucking hate it#anyway. idk. i dont feel good..
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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12. An unpopular character you like? (and why more people should like them)
asdfghjk THANKS FOR THE ASK I'M GIVING YOU SO MUCH <33 RN
Ooh, hmm, this'll be fun. there are so many examples in pokeani and honestly some are a little eh, but then I remembered how almost every comment I see about 'worse' characters seem to include Max and I just don't get it?? How can anyone hate him??
(fun fact, when I was first watching him - in dub mind you - I also really didn't like him much. but I was coming off from the end of the OG, which was pretty sad considering who we lost, and tbh especially in 4kids early seasons dub EVERYONE was pretty unlikeable. I think I hated almost everyone back in the early gens at some point lol; I can be real vindicative but I think watching the whole thing taught me to take my time before judging stuff :v)
But yeah!! I really don't get the hate. Oh, so he said that Ash sucked for getting 8th place in the Silver Conference - can we all remember that a) legit kid and b) he's seeing this guy lose to an evolved starter from his own region of the SAME type as Ash's. It's like watching a Venasaur lose to Meganium if you're from Kanto; you'll be feeling pretty patriotic and stuff too ngl, especially if you don't have any battle experience yet.
But he acts so smart - Yes, and?? I don't see anyone talk about how Gary was coming up in the first season spouting random facts only to lose in the prelims and get a lower place than Ash. Again, I wish that people remember that Max is the kid of a Gym Leader, who reads and watches Leagues to make up for not being able to watc the Gym Battles taking place under the same roof, who dreams of becoming as strong if not stronger than his father. He's going to have high expectations. He's going to think that knowledge is everything. He's going to show off as much as he can, to make up for the fact that he's the only one in the group who isn't a Trainer. And I love how he learns that you have to actually interact with Pokemon to learn what it's all about, that you can't replace experience, that you can still experience things now even if you are too young to start. There isn't a limit to going out and interacting with the world. He doesn't have to wait. He's allowed to make mistakes and own up and not know stuff and grow, now and in the future. In a way, he's learning the same things as May, and I think that's wonderful.
And while I wish that he could've gotten a Pokemon while on the journey (one that he could keep à la XY with Bonnie), I'm fine with what he had in Advanced. He got to see Gym Battles. He got to travel two (2) regions. He got to see different aspects of being a Trainer, as a Coordinator and as a Breeder/Doctor. He got the recognition of his father in the end and was able to get into the Gym business. He got to play and learn with so many Pokemon and just act his age for once, instead of having to grow up to make up the percieved difference (wrongly percieved, might I add). Dang it, he brefriended two Mythical Pokemon (Jirachi and that other Deoxys). I dunno, he's doing pretty well for himself. Sure he's snappish and remarks on a bunch of stuff, but AG is full of that (ugh Ash was on another level, especially in Hoenn) (we don't talk about flat Brock) and S1 Kanto was way worse.
Anyways everyone go out and appreciate this goober. He did not bond with this Ralts for nothing and I swear I did not cry in this ep just for everyone to hate him. His character growth was awesome and if we ever get a Chronicles 2.0 I need to see his journey (the kids that go with Ash legit get such powerful Pokemon I fear for the competition lol).
#seriously tysm!! you have freed me from sadness the stomach ache and boredom fr!!!#yeah i never got the max hate. like what did he actually do to anyone??#he wasn't harsh to pokemon like paul. he only got ash in like that first ep they meet and then he's cool with him#in fact he REALLY looks up to ash. so much. big bro energy fr even if he thinks that ash could do better lol#he's a little tsundere ngl. he loves his family and friends but he can't let them know#otherwise they'll treat him lesser or smth. or won't take him seriously#aka he's trying to beat the little kid allegations. which is why he bonds so well with misty when they meet#he WANTS to be the cool one. the better one. the one everyone looks up to#but he learns that it's a heavy role. he sees it when may sacrifices that ride to the last contest (i think??) in that donphan island ep#to make sure that he's okay#he sees it when he had to take ralts when everyone else was busy and the stress got to him#idk i actually never thought this hard about him before but i know deep down that he's so much more than what others give credit for#once more so many thanks!! i'm really fired up now heh#pkmn#deep stuff#silv.ex#ps he also acts smart bc he's taking over the gym business that may was never interested in#so of course he's going to correct her every chance he gets. he doesn't understand different perspectives back then#he didn't know that there were other paths and different learning styles and all that#smth smth meeting birch and his play-based research finding tracey and his watcher/artist background etc etc#yeah he got no pokemon but he got a ton of experience fr
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