#why yes it is the six of crows blanket

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Just spent a full six minutes weaving in ONE end on my knitting project. The knitting project is a blanket. The blanket is fair isle.

I’m going to be here forever

[sierracolorstheworldofwords]

The lonely king: Chapter six

 You closed your eyes. Leaves whispered across the ground, crows fluttered in the trees and birds twittered from their perches on the walls. A wind blew through, and an ancient windchime tinkled. Here, rent and bills faded away. 

You took a deep breath, knowing that around the garden fairies with sharp teeth lingered amongst the flowers, and that the sun, despite its warmth, wasn’t real. It was comforting nonetheless. The whole place was, especially with ice, and increasing rent, and groceries getting higher every month– 

No. You couldn’t fall for the allure of this place, nor of its’ king. No matter how soft his smile could be, nor how sharply his eyes glistened, you couldn’t accept his offer. He was going to ask you again. What excuses did you have now? What could you say? Just– it didn’t make sense! Him offering you a place to stay. Would you have accepted that offer when you were younger and homeless? When you were desperate? 

Yes, yes, yes– but you weren’t desperate now. Back then, you turned to stories to survive. You huddled in local libraries and read fairy tales until your eyes dried out. So, what stories could you turn to now? 

None of the ones you read before, whether from that mysterious book or just in general, ever mentioned what to do when you felt shadowy eyes on every corner. Nor did they advise on what to do when crows perched on every building you entered, or what to do when a white barn owl began to perch outside your window at night, watching you with those black stone eyes. 

What were you supposed to do when odd trinkets appeared at your doorstep? Or, what were you supposed to do when you awoke to grating voices and whispers that echoed around the room? 

You breathed in. You breathed out. Your heart raced. 

Were you scared? Excited? Both? Was it thrilling to have the same coworkers that talked behind your back get suddenly sick or was it terrifying? That’s how this past year had been, hadn’t it? Filled with things beyond your comprehension: shimmering, glistening gowns made of the moon’s tears and women with hair for leaves; people with teeth so sharp they split the air in half, and halls filled with paths that led to nowhere. 

Why were those memories so dear to you? Why was this place? Why did you keep putting off quitting? Your heart pounded in your ears, and your insides twisted. How could you deter him? He was so determined! Couldn’t you just slack off? No– he’d throw you into the bog for that! Maybe insult him? Oh, that was stupid!

Just like taking this deal was, just like entering his employment was and letting yourself get a taste of the magic you always craved. 

You opened your eyes. That’s what you wanted your whole life, wasn’t it? Magic. Or, at least, a reality that felt like one. Above, the hazy sun bloomed, and the clouds that shifted like rippling rivers crossed the sky. The hairs on your neck stood, and you turned towards the dark silhouette standing at the castle window. He beckoned you inside with a curled finger. 

You lingered near the garden gate and let the worn wood ground you. Once upon a time, it was covered in dead, dried vines, just as everything else was, but now it flourished underneath your care. No matter where you turned within this place, your presence was everywhere– you’d venture to the goblin city and have goblins say hello, or explore the castle and find a blanket you fix the rips to, or a plant you potted. How come here, in this strange place, you never had to hide who you were? 

How could you leave the garden to rot and the castle to collect dust once more? 

How could you not? 

Goosebumps blossomed across your skin, and the air shimmered like smoke on a summer’s day. 

“You kept me waiting,”  The Goblin King grumbled.   

Gasping, you turned towards him, “Your majesty!”

He leaned against the small wooden gate and pouted, resting his chin on his hands. 

“I see I have your attention now, don't I? Took me long enough I suppose.”

“I– I didn't mean to make you wait, your highness. I just.. I was just looking at the garden, that's all.”

He glanced at it, “It’s pretty, but I don’t see why you insist on staying out here, covered in dirt!” 

You crossed your arms and let him continue, 

“Really! I don't understand it at all! You ought to come inside and have a cup of tea with me, and then stay with me forever. We'll fix your mortality soon enough.”

You put a hand on your hip, “While I appreciate the offer, I have to decline.”

“That wasn’t even an offer, really, just a suggestion– but you have to decline? Decline?”

“Your temper certainly doesn't help!” You snapped, now mere inches away from his face, “and you know what? You didn't even apologize for yelling at me!”

“I said I felt bad for yelling at you!” 

“That's not the same as apologizing! And I refuse to live a life where someone won't say sorry! I did it with my parents and I certainly won't do it with you! I'm not staying with you unless you force me!” 

You pushed past him, too angry to realize that you should’ve been more careful with your words. 

The rest of the day passed in tense silence. At the end of it, you gathered your things, bowed to his majesty, and went home. 

Home was the same as always– the silent darkness and the unresponding books. 

For a moment, you heard a rustle. A giggle. The shuffling of pages.

“Hello?”

Silence. As still as snow. The wind whispered behind you. Crows cawed in the trees around your apartment, and you heard the screech of an owl in the autumn air. Winter brewed on the horizon, and you knew it was only going to get colder here, lonelier. 

Were you really working towards something real? Or, was it just a pipe dream? 

You stepped inside and closed the door. 

Something thumped onto the floor. 

You flicked on the light, ready to grab the knife in your bag, only to find– a book. A book on the floor. You laughed, and picked it up, smiling at the inscription: From (Y/n)’s Library. You gripped it tight. It was yours, just like this apartment was, just like your savings account was. If you needed to, you could flee again. You’d gotten here on less. 

You breathed. Everything was alright. 

Slumping on the couch, you blinked yourself awake. The dryer hummed a dull droll. Rain pelted against the window outside. Everything was alright. You weren't eighteen. There weren’t tears trailing down your cheeks as your parents kicked you out of your house. There were no sirens, wailing in the streets as you huddled for warmth on a corner, nor houses with strange shadows. There weren't, there weren’t. 

You weren't at someone's mercy again. You closed your eyes. You listened to the hum of the dryer, the fridge, the confines of your apartment. Your apartment, that you got after living in cars and street corners. Yours, yours, yours. You listened to that hum, and curled up like a cat as the heater came on. You were an engine, humming, humming– an engine, burning, burning. Over and over, the impossible house, your garden, faded into a black sea, swallowed by seafoam. You were a lone engine, running, running, burning and full of smoke. Never faltering, never resting– you did not have time for the mischief of goblins nor for the alluring knife-like charm of their king.

You were warm, somehow. You blinked. The air smelt sweet, like iced sugar and fresh coffee. Your stomach grumbled. Sitting up, you blinked yourself awake. Weren't you just on the couch? 

Something rattled in the kitchen, and you opened the drawer on your nightstand. Plucking the knife you kept there, you threw the covers aside and crept out of your bedroom. Gristly giggles whispered from the shadows. You heard a clack. Then, silence. 

Entering the kitchen, the hairs on your neck stood on end. Your heart thudded in your ears. Someone was there. They hummed softly. You gasped as they turned to you. 

“Your majesty?”

The Goblin King smiled. A shiver ran through you– his grin was too wide, and his teeth were too sharp. His eyes glimmered like ice on frozen stones. In the corners of your home, laughter was heard. Your grip tightened on the knife. 

“How–” you stopped, looking at him. 

This was the same man who invited you to join him for tea, who asked if you were alright, and always looked at you with those soft, effervescent eyes. 

“How on earth did you get in here, your majesty?” you asked softly, setting the knife down on the counter. 

He put his hands on his hips, “Really! That’s what you’re worried about?” he pouted slightly, stepping closer to you, “I came all this way to apologize!” 

“Apologize?” 

“Well, to make it up to you.”

You frowned and stared him down. How could you explain it, explain yourself? This year had been wonderful, magical– that place, his kingdom, felt like that feeling you always chased, yet it wasn’t enough. It couldn’t be. The sun wasn’t real, there. 

“How do you know where I live, anyway?” 

“I have my ways, darling. Now, are you going to continue to pester me with questions, or are you going to have a nice cup of tea with me?” 

Behind him, a clock ticked. Your electric kettle clicked, signaling that the water was ready. You glanced at the clock you kept on the wall, looking for the time. The numbers blurred together, slipping into lines you recognized, before morphing back and forth between figures and blurry puddles. He stepped towards the kettle, and opened your cabinet, knowing exactly where you kept your favorite cup. Something built in your stomach and the pounding in your chest continued. He pulled out your honey jar, and you watched as he took out the wooden wand and poured the amber liquid into the cup. How did he know where you kept your things? 

The answer was obvious, wasn’t it? 

He placed a bag within the cup, before handing it to you. 

“I-I can’t drink it now,” you murmured, clutching onto the tacky thrift store mug, “it’s too hot.” 

“How about something to eat then? I know you’re hungry. You haven’t been eating well lately.” 

How did he know that? 

The answer was obvious. 

But, why did he know that? 

“Well, yes, I am,  but I don't have anything to eat till my next paycheck–” he interrupted, presenting a platter in front of you filled with pastries. 

“You ought to eat, don't you think? They're fresh!”

He smiled at you, and tilted his head. His smile split his face apart. You choked back a gasp. 

“Eat, (Y/n).” 

Your mouth watered. Your hands shook. You picked up a fluffy, flaky pastry, and stuffed it into your mouth. Crumbs scattered on the platter in front of you, but you couldn’t stop. It was so good. Too good. A fuzzy, hazy warmth traveled down your throat as you swallowed. Something clawed at the back of your mind. 

Why were you eating? 

Where did these come from? 

You looked up at him, and he tilted his head, smile widening. Even the corners of his eyes crinkled, his dimple showed. The pupils before you twitched, growing and expanding, before filling with color, brightness– shades of light. 

"Oh come now, it's just sweet! And I made sure it was your favorite, (Y/n). Have another."

Your name, your name! How did he know your name? 

Your hand twitches. Your fingers wrapped around another warm sweet. Your teeth mashed it together. Your tongue and lips became coated in sugar. Your name, your name! How did he know your name? You finished the sweet, and tears traveled down your cheeks as the last remnants crawled down your throat like cement. 

“Oh, don’t cry!” he cooed, “I can’t stand to see you cry!” 

“How do you know my name?” 

He laughed, “It was easy to find your name, you know. Humans have such strange habits! Writing their names on books, of all things! I thought it was sweet when one of my goblins showed it to me.” 

His gaze was unreadable then. He clasped his hands behind his back. 

“I wouldn’t have gone to such drastic measures if you simply agreed to be mine. To stay with me.” 

“You can’t– you can’t do this!” you whispered.

“Of course I can! It’s the only way you’ll stay with me, isn’t it? By forcing your hand.” he wiped away a stray tear and tilted your chin to admire him, “You won’t be a servant anymore. You’ll be far away from the world that treats you so horridly, the one that makes you cry.” 

Blinking rapidly, you clenched your jaw. How dare he? How dare he? Oh, how dare he? He smiled at you, and cradled your face gently, his thumbs wiping away your tears. 

It was gone, all gone– everything was gone. 

“I know you’ll love my kingdom, (Y/n), I have a feeling you already do, or at least that’s what your persistent dedication shows.” 

You looked away from his gaze, and on the kitchen counter, the book you’d brought a year ago rested. It was then you remembered the ending– the girl left, yes, but the lonely king came back for her, and kept her forever.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

For the love of Freedom

Inspired by this post by @iris-honey-bee

So, I still have so many WIPs but there is a need for this man and I'm willing to Phill it.

Masterlist

Contains: Fluff, oral sex (m receiving), fingering, P in V.

1.3k words

Phillip has some very special plans for the 4th of July.

The wind blowing through Phillip's ranch was a welcome relief to the sweltering Texas heat. He had been tight lipped the whole week about his Fourth of July plans, telling you it was a surprise with his signature dip ladden smirk. The lunchtime barbeque was pretty standard, burgers and hot dogs and fries and those silly little sparklers that inevitably got one drunk shadow fingers burned.

The ranch cleared out after the firework shadow company put on for its families finished, leaving no one but you, Phillip and a few passed out drunk shadows.

He came to help you clean up after putting the last of his men to bed. Coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as you washed the last of the dishes. "The kids are alseep."

You sighed. "Ah, yes, our six grown up drunk children. If we don't have enough bacon in the morning you're going out to get it."

He chuckled. "There's plenty." He rested his head on your shoulder and pulled you closer. "I'll finish up here. Why don't you sit for a bit then meet me by the truck in twenty."

You twisted your head and kissed him. "Okay. I love you."

He flashed you a grin. "I love you too Darlin'."

Twenty minutes later, he was opening the passenger side door, and then you were moving leisurely through the fields until he stopped the truck at the edge of his expansive property. He opened your door and helped you out, leading you to the truck bed. He had really gone all out, putting the fancy cool top camping mattress in the back of the truck along with blankets and pillows and a small cooler in the corner.

He helped you into the back and patted the spot next to him, smiling as you settled in. "What's all this for?"

"You put in so much work the last few days, I wanted to thank you." He reached over and opened the cooler, presenting you with two glasses in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. "There's choclate coverd strawberries in there too."

The pop of the champagne bottle cracked through the air and he pressed a kiss to your cheek as he poured you a glass. "There's more."

"What else could you possibly do?" He was grinning, the fine crow's feet at the corners of his eyes wrinkling while his blue eyes sparkled and he held up a small controller with a red button in the middle. "No?"

He nodded. "Yep, I picked every single one out myself then watched the bomb tec set them up." He let you take another sip of bubbles before taking the glass from you and you laid back to look at the sky. He took your hand, linking his fingers in yours and with the press of a button, the sky lit up. He had picked all your favourite colours, each bang giving way to another intricate pattern.

It slowed before finally stopping, and he let go of your hand to take your chin between his thumb and forefinger and turn you towards him. "Did you enjoy that?" He smiled against your lips as you kissed him. "I'll take that as a yes?"

You nodded. "Yes, and I'd like to thank you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh Darlin', you can thank me all you like."

You rolled on top of him and straddled his hips as you unbuttoned his shirt. He pushed himself up, helping you peel it off his ample shoulders before your lips landed on his chest. He gathered your hair into his hand, smiling down at you as you reached his belt. "I want to be able to see that pretty face and I can't see it through all your pretty hair."

His hand was gentle as you undid his belt and he sighed with relief when you yanked his boxers down and his cock sprang free. Your eyes flitted to his, his pupils had all but overwhelmed all the pretty blueness and there was an expectation on his face that your breath catch. You lowered your head and he let out a grunt as you opened your mouth and wrapped your lips around the tip of his leaking cock.

He did his best not to buck his hips, but the sight of you slowly sliding him into your mouth was so pornographic that he couldn't help it. He pushed himself up on his elbow for a better view as you took him down as far as you could go and wrapped your hand around what your mouth couldn't reach. He took full advantage of his ability to control your head, rocking his hips into your mouth as he held you still, stopping just before he triggered your gag reflex.

"Fuck, ah fucking hell, you're so fucking good at that." His voice was tight, and his face was screwed in a mix of pleasure and desperation as he watched his cock disappear into your mouth. He pulled you off him and yanked you upwards, ripping your pretty dress right down the middle as he kicked his jeans and boxers off his legs.

He threw the ruined fabric to the side and ran his hand up your leg, pushing your underpants away before running his rough fingers through your folds. "Is all this for me?" You nodded, barely able to eke out a gasp when his thumb found your clit, and he slid his fingers inside you to stroke your G-spot. "And just from sucking my dick, I am one lucky man."

His eyes were stuck on his hand, his ego growing ever bigger at the way you were squeezing him. You rocked your hips and his forearm flexed as he fucked his fingers in and out of you. You braced yourself on his chest, your nails sending little stinging zips as they dug into his flesh. You used one hand to remove your bra and his free hand reached up to grab a handful of your breast, his fingers rolling and pinching your nipples as your head fell back.

The faint leash he had on his control snapped, and he pulled his hand away, dragged your soaked underwear off before gripping your hips and dragging you up and down his cock. He was like a man crazed as he held your hip so tight in one hand that you could feel the growing bruises, using the other hand to grab his cock so you could slide down.

He bottomed out, hitting the very end of you as his back stiffened like a ramrod. He didn't give you the chance to set the pace, with one considering look to make sure you were okay, he held you tight while he thrust up into you. You had to put all your energy into moving with him, your whole body growing ridged as he relentlessly dragged his cock against your G-spot. The sound that came from your mouth when his fingers landed on your clit was almost inhuman, halfway between a scream and a whimper as he moved in tight circles.

With one last thrust, the whole world imploded, and your vision flashed white as you came. The world spun as Phillip rolled you onto your back, and he all but bent you in half as he chased his own bliss. "Fucken hell Darlin', your pussy's better than freedom." He kept going, there didn't seem to be a thing on earth that matched up to you, and finally, with one last thrust, you felt him pulse inside you as his heaving body collapsed onto you.

You ran your hands through his damp hair and he sighed as he pushed himself up on his forearms. "You good Doll, I wasn't too rough with you?"

You shook your head. "No, that was perfect."

He rolled off you and flopped down. "Good." He turned to his side, costing you to do the same with a hand on your cheek. "I meant what I said before, I'm real grateful for all your hard work and I love you so fucking much."

You smiled and rubbed his nose with yours. "I love you too."

Fin

@chaos-4baby @candy616 @avidread3r

[the0ddcreat0r]

I'm bored and an insomniac fueled by energy drinks and sugar,so let's do more Scarecrow henchman headcannons!!!

In this case,his helpers as majority highschool and college students who just really like spooky stuff,or need extra credit in his class.

Instance one- GCPD was arresting the Scarecrow (once again) and one of his hench workers managed to distract to police by threatening to drop a 'smoke bomb filled with fear toxin' "LISTEN HERE,THAT OLD LONELY DUSTY MAN IS MY ONLY FATHER FIGURE,AND YOU WILL NOT RUIN THAT FOR ME!!!"

Instance two- Jonathan has accepted the hench work of some of his students in exchange for extra credit. "Hey so,if I help you like....gas the police station will you raise my grade?" (With so much hope in their eyes. Looking at Professor Crane's tired face.) Professor Crane, exasperated. "You know what?....SURE,WHY NOT?! It's not like any of you pass regularly....C'MON KIDS, GET IN THE CAR!..."

Instance three- During the night,one of his henchmen show up at his door,in their bare minimum belongings and even the stupid picnic blanket and stick. ".... Professor Crane...my parents abandoned me....." Professor Crane's eye twitches. "Timmy, you're 26, and you're parents went on a vacation to Paris,you are not orphaned and this is sad." Timmy doesn't move.... professor Crane sighs. "....Do you want to come in for the night-" "YEAHHHH PARTYYY!!! I'LL TEXT THE OTHERS!!!" The boy exclaims running into the house excitedly. "What?! No! Don't call the others!! TIMMY,THIS IS WHY YOUR PARENTS LEFT!!"

Instance Four- Professor Crane has tolerated a lot from his young henchmen,even a small group of them staying in his house with him. But don't feel toooo bad,as the professor knows how to get back at his unintentional roommates. If they want to stay,they have to deal with watching horror films of HIS CHOICE every Friday,and yes,he picks them because he knows what freaks them out.

Instance five- I see Crane as being like, "I'm not ANY of their's father figure!! I don't know WHY everyone keeps saying that!!" And then show up for any play or presentation they have,and then stay still while his nails get done by them,and then endure the horror of karaoke at 3 in the morning on a work day,and then deal with any mental breakdown or trauma,and then basically become a legal guardian of at least like,12 of them,and then even more.

Instance six- I headcannon everything Scarecrow does has to be in theme,so when his henchmen join and pick names,it's all very spooky,like types of crows,pumpkins,words for crows and scarecrows in other languages,stuff like that!

Instance seven- I also like to imagine that since he unwillingly but technically adopts these suckers,at least ONE of them have to speak other languages,and quiet a lot do too! And with that, Crane starts to unintentionally pick up on some of the words in daily conversation,so much he can actually hold his own in a conversation pretty good, he'll be talking to Edward in English one moment,then switching to Spanish and not even noticing.

Instance eight- Crane won't admit it,but sometimes,he likes to lurk around his henchmen that can draw,and watch them sketch and doodle him in their notebooks and on desks,he finds it endearing in a way,but won't mention it except for a random time very briefly and totally out of the blue with no context to the previous conversation. "Blah blah blah grades blah blah Batman blah blah blah blah YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT ART BTW DONT STOP blah blah...."

Instance nine- Crane is very much a grouchy old man,and his henchmen don't hesitate to tease him about it,from asking him if he needs a back pillow,to asking about hip replacements,joking about nursing homes,It annoys Crane to no end,but he doesn't make it any better when he has to ask his henchmen how to fix the internet or the computer because he doesn't want to call Edward and hear his smug tone,but his henchmen aren't any better. He tries to fix it himself but he gets all too annoyed and he's a sleep deprived old man,so he can't do annoyed. "Seeee, Doctor? You have to connect it to OUR box,not the neighbors,and WHY would you connect the cords like this,they're so tangled...and did you punch the screen?" "I COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT!!!"

Instance ten- I know Crane is a villain and all,but I don't believe this man would have a single problem with his henchmen being any religion,race, ethnicity,gender,or sexuality, (or species?...like how killer croc exists kind of species) Jonathan knows what it was like to be raised by a psychotic religious person that would berate or torment you for being a certain way,and he wouldn't really care to who you do or don't pray or if you worship at all. As for sexuality or gender, this man has seen and done so much there are way worse crimes he could care to focus about than what makes people uncomfortable,that's his whole thing! But I at least headcannon him as AT LEAST a bisexual mostly because the comics show him with a few female love interests (debatable depending on what canon we're going by) but I can see him having a male attraction as well (mostly because I'm biased and kinda love the Riddler x Scarecrow art and think it's sweet. I heard someone call the ship, 'Riddlingcrows' before,I don't think it's an official name but I thought it sounded cool) so I don't think he'd care if his henchmen were trans or LGBTQ+. Same with race or ethnicity,if you can carry out his plans and aren't too annoying,he doesn't care.

Instance eleven- His henchmen have snuck a cat into the house and have each been hiding it from Jonathan,but he finds out when he wakes up to an orange ball of fluf on his face. "CHILDRENNNNN!!!!" He yells from his room. In the living room like a group of guilty people they sit at the couch. "What.Is.This?" He demands holding the kitten by its scruff with a few fingers. No one answers and then one speaks up. "...His name in pumpkin,Sir..." "No it is not! Do not name it,it's not staying! I already have you pests to worry about I don't need-..." He trails off as they all stare with damn puppy eyes,even the freaking cat. "....goddamnit....FINE. FINE! YOU CAN KEEP THE DAMN THING,BUT IM NOT GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT." Proceeds to hog the cat away from everyone else in pure bliss for the next several days.

[dynamic-power]

Evie @energievie tagged me in an end of year writer interview! This is such a cool idea.

-----

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

15! I plan to increase that by a lot next year!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Just shy of 62k.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Since Prom - Steddie, E

An Offer - Kanej, T

back to the past - Steddie, T WIP

Coach H - Steddie, T

Kinktober Drabbles - various, E WIP (it's finished on tumbr. I just need to move the last few to AO3 lmao)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Ngl, I struggle with this. I want to. I see and cherish every single one! But I forget to reply, or I don't know what to say, or I don't check for comments for a month and when I finally see them, I feel like it's too late. 😅

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

That would be A Coat Or A Blanket. Angst is not my forte. I want happy endings for everyone.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably Since Prom? Or Arrivals. Just because there's an actual plot and a real ending lol.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not yet. But maybe in the future? 🤷

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes lol. It was on a kinktober fic. Ao3 rule number 1: don't like, don't read. Apparently they didn't get the memo. 🤣

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Most of my fics are kinktober! So kinky, gay sex. 😏 That'll change next year. I mean that I plan to write a lot of non-kinktober stuff, not that I won't be writing kikny, gay sex.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so 👀

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I wouldn't be opposed

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but I wouldn't be opposed. Seriously, if you ever want to collab, lmk! 😄

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Currently, it's Gallavich. But my favorite of all time is Drarry.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

It's one I haven't even started posting yet. It's a Gallavich soul mate AU where the pair have special gifts centered around eye contact. Mickey can see soul mates and Ian severs soul mate connections. I'm absolutely in love with it but I'm also kinda struggling to get through it. 😭😭😭

15. What are your writing strengths?

Word limits. I love the challenge of trying to portray certain emotions or situations in a limited amount of time, and I feel like I'm really good at it. I don't have to get caught up in details, I can just make my readers feel in just a few sentences.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing lol. I don't have patience, I always end up rushing my ending.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

2 situations. If the POV character doesn't speak the language, I try to limit it to things that can be easily assumed without need for translation. Expletives, nicknames, or recognizable phrases. Unless, of course, the POV character is meant to not understand what is being said. And 2, if the POV character speaks the language, I'll usually have them translate in their thoughts. I just want the reader to be on the same level of understanding as the POV character.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. That was way back in the day. I posted my first fic in 2010. 🤣 On my current account, it was Six of Crows.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Hooo boy. Doctor Who comes to mind. I'm obsessed with the idea of Fourteen and Jack Harkness meeting again. I've always wanted to do something for Criminal Minds. I'll probably dip my toe into Supernatural, too. I've done drabbles for Mungrove, Harringrove, and Harringroveson, but i'd also like to do full fics for them. Idk, I've always got too many ideas.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Either Since Prom or Coming Soon To Home Video. I can't pick.

If you write fanfiction, you should totally do this! Consider this me, tagging you.

Our just giving you cake. 🍰

[holly-fixation]

The Remnant Remains: Part 2

Summary: Sephiroth had no purpose for a remnant without power. This byproduct of his true Remnants' creation wandered the snow with three crows, only to be found by the Crimson Soldier. Genesis was far too interested in this Sephiroth-like child, and now was the time for shelter and questions.

Inspired by This art by @queernoctis

Please enjoy!

Beyond the last mountain laid Icicle Village, the closest thing to civilization within a day's journey and an afternoon's flight. Genesis trekked through the final leg of the trip without pause, the ravens that fed the girl following and scanning him carefully. He tucked his wing away the moment he landed, but he kept the cloak on the girl and prayed no one would notice the growth. Luckily not a single citizen walked the streets. It must've been nearly midnight, each window covered by black out curtains for a chance of rest. 

At the doors to the inn, the Crimson Soldier turned to the feathered creatures. They hopped along and occasionally scratched their feathers with their beaks.

“Stay out here,” Genesis informed as if they could understand. “Your kind is not allowed in the lobby.”

One cawed at him in defiance, the irritation and distrust clear in its ruffled wings. 

“I will let you through the window if you promise not to excrete anything on the carpet.”

The second of the three hopped once. 

“I'll take that as a yes.” He turned to the door and sighed to himself. “I've been on my own too long…”

A small hum came from the girl before she adjusted, pulling her hood further over her face. He caught the small shiver in her breath. 

Genesis immediately halted his discussion with the crows and entered the lobby. Thankfully no guests lounged around the sitting area. The only obstacle standing between him and the room was the exhausted clerk behind the counter. He rang the gold bell to begin the final encounter of the night. 

The dark haired teenager jerked awake, his speech stained with the same sleep his eyes reflected, “Room's five hundred gil. Check out is 11 AM. Breakfast starts at 6 AM and there is no guarantee it actually starts at six. My aunt cooks when she wakes up. Any questions or requests?”

“Yes. Two beds if possible. And is there any place to get a meal this time of night?”

The clerk rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath before speaking, “Seven hundred, then. I'll bring you left overs from the dinner rush in thirty minutes. It’s either that or the old vending machines that don't take cards.”

“Very well. Thank you.” Genesis slipped his wallet out of his pocket and the two continued the exchange without another word. The man in red left with the key in one hand and the clerk fell back to sleep. 

At the door, the child in his arms stirred. Her grip tightened instinctively at the click.

“It’s alright. It’s just the door.” He slipped them into the cozy room. An old but clean carpet lined the floor. Hardwood planks covered half the walls, and the window followed the same classic style, every corner decorated with patterned carvings. He could do without the tacky wallpaper, but this shelter would more than suffice judging by the uncontrolled relief in the child’s breath. “Here. This is your bed.” Genesis sat the girl on the plaid comforter. “Take off your cloak and wrap yourself in the covers. I’ll turn up the heater.”

The girl obeyed quickly, silently jerking off the tattered cloak. Only then did he truly see what she wore beneath: a black medical gown and a small pair of black shorts. Not a single scratch or frayed edge marred the material. It was new. Perfect. She yanked the blankets free from their confinement between the mattresses and bundled herself as Genesis finished fiddling with the heater, its renewed activation rattling throughout the room.

“Not a pleasant sound, but it should function well enough.”

A tap at the glass pulled both sets of eyes up.

Ah, right. The crows.

“Forgive me but I must ask, why are these crows so attached to you?” He opened the window with a stern glare, hoping to silently inform the birds what they discussed earlier.

They hopped in and he swiftly sealed the cold outside. 

She adjusted her wing further into the covers. “I don’t know. They saw my wing and decided to stay. They guided me to a cave last night. They brought me food when I was hungry-”

“They led you to a cave?” Genesis cut her off in shock.

She looked up at him, her cat-like eyes large and concerned. “Y-yes? Did I do something wrong? I-I didn’t mean to-”

The sudden mist on her mako blues made the man hold her shoulders to ground her. The crows each landed on the bed and nuzzled her sides. Did he scare her that easily?

“I won’t do it again! I won’t- I promise! Please don’t put me back outside!”

“You’re not going anywhere, certainly not outside. Just breathe, alright?”

“B-Breathe?! Breathe. Okay. Okay…” She forced her lungs under control in ten seconds, clenching both the edge of the cover and the hem of her gown tightly, but Genesis could see she simply bottled the emotion. A trained response. Unnatural. Inhuman.

“You’re not in any trouble,” He spoke soothingly, keeping his voice calm and regulated as he carefully sat next to her. “I was just worried. It’s very dangerous to be in a cave this time of year. You’re lucky there were no sleeping monsters, or worse, any exhausted ones that found you in their spot.”

“I-I didn’t know… I just followed them because they kept cawing at me when I tried to go a different way…”

“It’s alright. You’re safe. That’s what matters.” He tried to be kind. “It’s very tough traversing the snow on your own.”

She shook her head slowly. “...My brothers don’t want me to be safe… They said I should die because Mother doesn’t want me…”

He wrapped an arm around her, her weakness and vulnerability stabbing straight to his core. How could a child think so little of her own life? Especially this child that reminded him of Sephiroth? “Take it from me, never let yourself die for nothing. You deserve to live. And your brothers sound like jerks.”

Again, the girl shook her head but it was a bit slower this time. “They just want Mother… I just… I don’t know… I just want to be warm and full and safe…”

She was in too much pain. He needed to steer the conversation away, but his curiosity limited the angle. “What were you guys doing in the north?” 

“This is where we were born… I was just the last one…” She shakily sighed. “My brothers don’t have wings. I don’t know where mine came from. It was wet and cold… My brothers know how to use weapons and tried to save Mother. I just…I don’t like it… And I'm not good, not as good as I need to be… So I hid until the people with guns left us alone…” Her eyes fell. “My brothers were really mad about that. They said I’m the reason they stole Mother… I… I don’t know…” She was so unsure of herself, unsure of each and every word that left her lips. “Maybe I was…”

Again he spoke calmly, trying not to push too hard just yet. “It's not your fault. Shinra is strong. Even now, they're still kicking.”

“You're not gonna throw me away, are you, Genesis?” Her tone was harmless and sincere, her mako eyes wide as the moon as she turned up at him. The desperation he never saw through his friend’s mane of silver hair impaled his heart.

“...no. I'm not throwing you away.” 

She exhaled softly, the tension leaving her little body. 

“...However, if we are going to stick together, we cannot hide anything from one another.”

She nodded. That made sense. “I agree.”

“Then we must answer all questions to each other honestly, correct?”

Another nod. “Correct.”

“Of course. Of course…” Genesis steeled himself with a sharp breath. “So what do you know about Sephiroth?”

“Sephiroth…” She tasted the name on her tongue. The familiar yet unknown name. “He's… whole. He's all of us, me and my brothers and Mother. He… my brothers said I'm the part he forgot already…” She tried to shake away the memory. “I don't know him. I know of him…”

Genesis watched the glowing landscape through the window. “I knew him. In his prime. Long before…” He trailed off, but she perked up. 

“Really?”

He smirked a bit at the ancient memory. “Yes. We were comrades for many years. He was very aloof at first, but my friend Angeal and I broke down his walls.”

“What was he like?”

“Back then, shy. Extremely unsure. He exuded absolute confidence on the battlefield, a cunning master of the blade, but speak to him like a human being and he just didn't know what to do. Goddess the first day we made him a meal, well Angeal more than I but I helped gather ingredients of course, he broke down. He said it was the greatest thing he ever tasted, and that was just what we could make from scraps.”

The little girl watched and listened without a single interruption. Genesis went on about his time with Sephiroth continuously, even long enough for the meal to arrive at their door. Two plates waited in the hall after the knock, but Genesis allowed the girl to eat her fill first, reassuring her he would be fine if she needed it all. He kept his stories up, continuing each memory of the time before he degraded. He wanted her to know who Sephiroth truly was, the years before he broke the Silver Soldier at Nibelheim. Minerva gave him a second chance for a reason. He wouldn't waste it by slandering the friend that man used to be. 

“Is this enough for you?” The girl interrupted his tales, poking the remaining half of a meal on his plate. Her own was long gone. 

He nodded without looking. He would be fine with only a bite. “Plenty.”

She left the desk and sat back on her bed, her eyes half lidded despite her curiosity. She watched him quietly for a moment. “You should eat.”

“And you should clean up before you fall asleep.”

“I'm not tired,” She countered, but Genesis only smirked. 

“Of course. But I can't speak with my mouth full, and it's a good way of efficiently using our time.”

“Oh. Okay. That makes sense.” She hopped down, and the crows finally flew to the windowsill. “You wanna go?” 

They nodded, cawing softly. 

“Thank you for helping me.” The little girl opened the window, letting the three birds escape to the reflective snowscape. She watched them until they disappeared behind the mountains, her cat-like eyes fixed on the last place she saw them. 

“As sweet as this moment is,” Genesis placed a single palm on her shoulder to hold her attention, “But we need to close the window before you catch a cold.”

“I won’t get sick,” She explained as she obeyed anyway. “But I like the warmth in here.”

“As you should.” He gave her a small smirk. “Now go clean yourself up.”

Again, the little girl obeyed, striding straight past him into the bathroom.

He sighed after the door closed. He sat on his bed, his mind racing. 

A part of Sephiroth. A part of Him. Just what the hell kind of power did that experiment grant him? Genesis didn’t want to think about it. Nibelheim, his greatest regret. Multiple sightings throughout the planet. The meteor incident. Now this silver haired child. Multiple children. Goddess knew what The Calamity planned now.

The child said she was unwanted despite her existence. Possibly just a byproduct of whatever Lifestream control its Whole somehow exerted. She was… he needed to put his finger on it. What she was. She clearly wasn’t a threat. So what was she?

He finally began his meal in silent thought, taking the last bites of remaining sustenance. He thought of her kindness. Her fear. Her uneasiness. Her inhuman control over her emotions. Her trained control over her emotions. 

She was…innocence. Pure innocence.

When she came out of the bathroom, he had to ask, “What do you think of the name ‘Eve’?”

The child looked up with sparkling eyes. “You’re giving me a name?”

“I'm giving you an option.”

“Eve is good. Simple. I like it.” She suddenly hugged him, her short wet hair darkening the leather of his jacket. “Thank you, Genesis.”

He nodded. “Happy to help.” Then she met his eyes again, a small, kind smile on his lips. “Would you like me to read to you?”

Her head tilted. “Why would you read to me?”

“To help you sleep.”

“But I'm not sleepy.”

“Perhaps not, but you are tired. It’s been a very long day. Indulge me. Just get comfortable on the bed.”

Eve wanted to argue, but the bed was so soft and so nice. She wanted to spend every waking moment bundled in those covers, her wing folded and protected by the extra pillow. 

“Are you comfy?”

She nodded. 

“Good.” He sat on his bed and faced her. Then he took out a book with a red cover. “Are you ready?”

Another nod. 

"When the war of beasts brings about the world's end

The goddess descends from the sky"

He continued his recitation until Act III, where the child inevitably fell to the very force she denied: sleep. 

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.

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Part 1

Thanks for reading!

Author's Note: Thank you to @altocat for help with naming the baby remnant!

[silver-inked-quill]

A missing scene

Warnings:Kaz's hand discomfort (mention), spoilers from "six if crows" and "Shadow&Bone"

Pairing: Kaz x Inej

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‘It was my last moment;’ Kaz Brekker pondered within seconds while the inferni rose behind him with his flaming fist prepared to burn him down , not so much because he invade the little palace but due to smashing his wrist with a massive candlestick. Kaz managed to befriend with the idea of his flesh burning to his death. Ironic… He was wearing gloves as he couldn’t stand the sensation of the human skin against his -it awakened memories- and now he himself would be the exact opposite of erosion… He would be charred.

Ready for his end, he heard a loud thud. His cyan eyes glanced at his rear… His Wraith standing at the stone railings above him, her lost gaze would not abandon the body of the Grisha, she had murdered… Murdered to save his life. He approached her and she jumped down, her peer unshifted from the dead body laying on the floor. Footsteps echoed in the wide corridors. Kaz panicked momentarily- he wanted to touch her, needed to… His investment, his Wraith, his Inej- Therefore, the only the muse of it compelled his insides threatening to come out, he felt ill. He had almost begged her to look at him so they would escape and he they did.

~

That’s what Kaz was thinking while his arms where baring Inej’s injured body –would they escape this chaos- His investment had save him once and now it was his turn. They arrived at the boat and Kaz had realized he could do nothing else, other than trust Nina Zenik to save her life.

It had been four days, now crossing the fifth one as Kaz was running out of hope, His heart was sinking at the thought of Inej lying upon this cold table unconscious. He raised his gaze to the deck hearing Nina’s voiced. He smiled –or thought so at least- as the heartrender was supporting the Suli girl. Once hhad he perceived that these were only notions, Inej had spotted him at the captain’s booth. Her expression was cold but he could tell she was disappointed… “Say you are sorry” were the last words she spoke to him. He still couldn’t understand why.

Time had passed and Kaz Brekker was unmoved. He kept spectating the deck that had the endless blue of the oceans. Nina was probably inside while Jesper and Wylan sitting with the druskelle. Inej was alone in her corner, tugged in a furry blanket. Kaz gripped his cane and moved out. He was slowly pacing towards her. He felt his heart pounding against his chest.

“Hello” He greeted as he stood before her.

“Hi” she replied coldly

“How are you feeling?” He asked her trying to ease his voice to show his care but if he judged by her reaction, it didn’t work.

“I can pull of the job” She responded and rolled her eyes.

‘It isn’t about the job Inej, it is about you. I was worried to death the moment I saw you bleed against my chest. I was so scared and I could do nothing to actually help you… I didn’t protect you and the worst part is that you left so upset after the way I talked to you… Maybe that’s why you wanted me to apologize.’

“Good” was all that came out eventually escorted by a heavy exhale, he tried to camouflage.

Inej turned away at his approval.

“Are- are you sure you are alright?” Kaz made another effort with a hesitance he tried to hide.

“Yes and I didn’t thank you… You rescued me…” Inej spoke softly therefore her tone was still serious and sentimentless.

“No need to thank me Inej , crows take care of each other” Kaz quoted with a nod. “May I” he asked pointing at the empty space next to her.

“Go ahead” she permitted him.

“You were acting strangly, you still are” he dared to declare out loud.

“I am alright, the ambush caught me by surprise” The girl replied trying to conceal her little conversation with Tante Heleen.

“I mean before” Kaz spoke referring to the moment she had stormed out of the window ignorant of what had happened.

“It was nothing” Inej turned away. “Nothing I couldn’t handle either way” She added after a sigh. How did he find out? She was wondering. A crow saw and didn’t intervene.

“What is nothing?” Kaz frowned puzzled “What are you speaking of?” he added and looked at her.

“What do you mean Kaz? Were you not filled in by your secret informants that are spread all around Ketterdam?” she asked rolling her eyes discreetly. She felt exposed and still obliged to him… Even more. Like he was constantly reminding her of it.

“No Inej… I am sincerely oblivious. What happened?” Kaz insisted still frowned. It felt weird not being aware of the things happening to the crows of his.

“People of the Menagerie and Heleen approached and talked to me. Nothing I couldn’t handle.” Inej revealed and did not dare to turn Kaz.

“What?! Inej did they touch you, what did she say?” Kaz demanded and turned at her tensed, his blue eyes were filled with anger and concern… but anger was mostly apparent.

Inej stayed as she was. “No and nothing Kaz” she was still avoiding him.

“Inej… to protect you I have to know” Kaz’s voice lightened slightly to ease her even though her eyes were reflecting boiling fury.

“She said that you won’t be able to pay her. That I would end up in her satins again.” Inej spoke unwillingly. Her previous thoughts seemed far as she felt that he cared about her. Not owing to her membership on the crows or her skills. Not because she was an investmeny.

He cared for her.

She couldn’t help but smile a bit. Although she hid it well.

“Of course I will be able. And even if I won’t you will never go back there. I wont allow it” Kaz assured her softly “Inej, if they approach you again I want to know” He added and looked at her. He was assuring. His charming voice sounded stern and terrorizing to whoever stood against it. He was the bastard of the Barel but when it came to his crows he meant it all.

Inej nodded, there was silence between them- an awkward one.

“You should rest… you are still weak” Kaz changed subject

“Yes I should” Inej agreed and tied the blanket around her. She moved and flinched.

“Let me H-help” Kaz offered out of reflex.

“Are you sure?” Inej was shocked

Kaz didn’t reply. He swept one hand around her waist for support, carefully, to not actually touch he. He allowed a heavy sigh escape his mouth. He felt the her weight shifted upon him as he led her down so she would lay.

He helped her with the blanket and let out a sigh.

His Wraith was alive.

He was kept close to her.

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A/N: i am really anxious on how this fic will go since i am about 350 in Six of crows and i just kept thinking abt this certain scene on the 5th harbor ambush. I really hope i got Kaz right. Lemme know what u think🖤✨

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 8

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz/female!Reader

Summary: the trio finally make it to the resistance to see who of their friends is alive

Note: this will probably be the last chapter for today, I hope you like it!

Taglist: @mcntsee​

              Y/N nearly cried when they finally saw the settlement that the resistance had set up.  She was freezing, tired, and in pain from being on a horse for two days straight. As much as she liked Jesper she was a little tired of him being her main companion.  He talked non stop and as much as she loved to hear about Ketterdam and their adventures as the Dregs, including some embarrassing stories about Kaz, she still felt guilty about what had happened to their home and every story brought the memories of its destruction flooding back.  Also, she was pretty sure if he told one more story about Kaz screwing up a job that Kaz was going to start hurling his cane around and she really didn’t want to watch him beat his friend to death.  

              As they approached the camp a small group started walking towards them so they dismounted to meet them face to face. She saw the relief flood to the other’s faces as a young Suli woman approached with a few others of various nations.  

              “Inej!” Jesper cried, running up and hugging the smaller girl.  She smiled just as bright as he did, clearly happy to see they were alive.  Kaz wandered up and Y/N fell back to let them have a reunion.  She walked over to the others that had come up with Inej.

              “ Y/N!” a man said, moving and hugging her, picking her up and spinning her.  

              “Mal!” she said, clearly happy to see him.  She hugged him back.  The last time she had seen Mal was at the battle with Alina. He was devastated by her death and last she had heard he had retreated to the mountains for some unknown purpose. She was elated that he had found the resistance and was fighting again.  He set her down and she found she was crying a little.

              “O tears for me?” he said.  She nodded still laughing.

              “Last I heard you were still working with the Darkling” he said, frowning.  She nodded.

              “I was for a time, then I saw an opportunity to truly help the resistance and I brought them with me,” she said, motioning to Kaz and Jesper.  She was surprised to see Kaz staring at Mal with absolute malice in his eyes.  She would talk to him later, right now she needed to focus on sharing her knowledge with the leaders.  “Can we talk?”  Mal nodded and he led her into the camp with the others.  

              Kaz assumed that the man Y/N was hugging was from the war, someone she was close with clearly.  He had felt jealousy well up in him for a moment and then it subsided with the realization that she loved him.  He smirked to himself as he turned back to see Inej eyeing him.  Great, now more people were going to be asking about him and Y/N.  

              “What?” he snapped.  She smiled at him.

              “I see you still have your sunny disposition,” she said.  Kaz rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small smile on his lips.  It was coming easier to him and he couldn’t stand it.  “Who is she?”

              “Her name is Y/N, she was in the Darkling’s inner circle, she betrayed him to get us out of prison and bring us here,” he explained.  Inej studied him again and nodded as if she understood something.  “Don’t say a word, I already had to threaten Jesper to keep his mouth shut.

              “I will keep this to myself but I am sure everyone will know the minute you look at her,” she said.  “Good for you Brekker, finally found a soul.”  He snarled and she was a little taken aback.  “A soul I see that only appears for her.  Come, we will get you food and a place to sleep.  Mal and the others will want to talk with Y/N for awhile you might have to wait until tomorrow to see her.”  Kaz didn’t much like that option but he didn’t have a choice.  They were here now so the time he had with Y/N was going to be more limited now.  He would busy himself with something.

              “Are you doing any jobs here?” he asked as they walked into the camp.  As soon as they were through the makeshift gates Jesper ran and nearly tackled Wylan and Nina to the ground.  They all gathered around, the Dregs back together and Kaz felt at home again.  

              “We are the crew that steals supplies here,” Inej explained.  “They’re trying to figure out where to attack the Darkling but its hard considering he’s always moving and always heavily guarded.”  

              “Maybe we can help with that problem now that I’m back in the picture,” he said.  Inej nodded.

              “I know that is probably why Y/N broke you out, when we arrived they asked about the plan to get into the Ice Court, how we got so close to the parem without being caught.  We all knew pieces of the plan but not everything, we needed you for that,” she said, motioning for him to follow as Jesper went off with the others. She led him towards a small tent. “This one is empty, Jesper will probably sleep in the one next to yours.”  Kaz wanted to ask about where Y/N was sleeping but he didn’t want to answer anymore questions about her or see another of Inej’s looks so he just nodded and went inside.  “There should be clothes for you.”  He heard her leave and laid down, intent on taking a quick rest.  However, exhaustion from the journey finally overcame him and he drifted off into a deep sleep.

                Y/N had always hated meetings and that hadn’t changed during her journey north.  She sat at a table with Mal, Inej, and other leaders of the resistance mostly listening.  They were trading ideas about how to get the Darkling vulnerable, how to corner him or weaken him.  She sighed.

              “He thinks I stole a vial of jurda parem.  If we can get a plan in place I will let it slip about where I will be and he will come looking,” she said.  They all stopped and looked at her.

              “You are not going to be bait for him,” Mal said. She shook her head.

              “It’s the only way, he knows I took it, he just doesn’t know that I smashed it,” she said.  “He also knows I would never trust anyone with that vial but myself.  He may be expecting me to bring the full army we have but he is cocky if we tell him to come alone he will.  He won’t think we are worth the effort of the Second Army.” Silence fell over the group.

              “That could work,” Inej said.  Others murmured their agreement.  The only person still not convinced was Mal but in the vote to start planning he lost.  After the meeting it was nearly 11 bells and she was exhausted.  She was about to leave when she saw Inej approach.

              “Inej, I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said, offering a smile.  Inej nodded and shook her hand.

              “I wanted to thank you for freeing Jesper and Kaz, they are dear to me,” she said.   Y/N nodded.

              “I understand, I’m glad I could get you all back together.”  She looked around, the rest of the group had disappeared so she took the opportunity to ask, “do you know if a Pekka Rollins is here?  Did he survive the Ketterdam assault?”  Inej looked surprised at the question.

              “Yes he survived and yes he’s here,” she answered. Y/N nodded.  “Why did you want to know?”

              “Kaz asked me about him, I was just getting an answer before I went to find him,” she said.  She would be searching tents all night but she had grown used to having his presence near when she slept and she wasn’t going to sleep well unless she knew he was there.  

              “He’s in block 55b, tent 6,” Inej said.  “And Y/N, I don’t know what you did to earn his soul but take care of him please.”   Y/N nodded before heading to find his tent.  

              She found where Inej had said, peeking in and seeing him asleep on one of the cots.  She took the other and moved it a little closer, keeping arms distance like she did when they camped.  He must have heard her because his eyes opened and he sat up quick, cane ready to swing.  

              “Calm down Kaz, its me,” she said, moving to lay down.  She pulled up the blanket and smiled at him as he settled to lay down again.

              “You know you can’t sneak up on me,” he said, looking at her.  “Can’t sneak up on anyone really.”  She made a face at him and he smirked at her.  O that smirk would be the death of her really.  “So how did it go with…whoever he was.”  She heard the edge to his voice and almost laughed.

              “His name is Mal.  He was Alina’s love and she was his.  He was like a big brother to me.  I’m happy he’s here.  He just vanished after she died, I figured he had left to die in solitude or something, but he’s here fighting, which is great. He’s a tracker, can always use someone like him,” she said.  Kaz nodded. “I met Inej, asked her about Pekka Rollins.”  Kaz perked up some, leaning to his elbow.  

              “Is he here?” he asked.  She nodded.

                With that confirmation Kaz was ready to start doling out revenge immediately.  He started to get up when he felt a hand on his coat sleeve, just gripping the fabric and not his arm.  He looked at her and once again noticed the lack of disgust at her touch.  He had been jostled by Jesper on the way in and had nearly vomited then, his aversion had become selective apparently.  He trusted Y/N and her touch, making it ok for her to get closer than anyone had before.  

              “Don’t go Kaz, he’s not in the camp anyway, I asked around on the way here.  He’s on a job in Fjerda trying to gather some of the encampments of refugees and lead them here,” she said.  He sighed and laid back down again.  She left her hand out in the air between them.  Kaz sighed and suddenly felt itchy.  He realized he had been in these clothes for two days and needed to change.

              “I’m going to change into the clothes they left…” he said, standing again.  She nodded and closed her eyes.  He chuckled, shedding his jacket and shirt.  He got cleaned up and redressed.  He was about to put his gloves back on when he looked back at her hand hanging between the cots.  He set the gloves down and laid down again.  “Are you awake?” he asked.  Her eyes drifted opened.

              “Yes, I probably won’t fall asleep for awhile even though I’m so tired,” she said.  He looked at her face and then her hand again.

              “Don’t move,” he whispered.  She looked confused but stayed still as he reached out with his bare hand and took hers.  He held it gently, feeling the rough skin, every cut and blister from riding and foraging on their journey, and he found he was alright.  He didn’t know if he could do more than hold her hand but he wouldn’t push himself tonight.  She was staring at him and he gave her hand a squeeze before letting go.  “You said you would keep a memory of my touch…I wanted it to be real.”  

              “Kaz…” he held up his hand to stop her.

              “Go to sleep Y/N, you’ve earned a rest.  I’ll make sure no one bothers you in the morning and I’ll be here when you wake up,” he said.  He saw eyes close slowly as she now seemingly curled the hand he touched to her chest, holding it as if it were treasure.  

[genuineformality]

Febuwhump Day 20: Caged

Six of Crows; Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa; Nina Zenik

Inej hears Kaz’s screams and is out of her bed before she recognizes them for what they are. She grabs as many knives as she can strap on without delaying herself more than a few seconds and she is out her window and climbing up to his, her heart in her throat.

Inej sags with relief that he is not being attacked, at least not by anyone else. He’s in the middle of his narrow bed, red-faced with fever, and tossing and turning. He’s still in his trousers and socks, but his bloodied shirt and gloves are still where he dropped them last night. His braces are buttoned to his trousers, tangled underneath him.

She secures his window, checks that his door is locked.

“Kaz,” she hisses from across the room. “Kaz, wake up.”

He mumbles something she can’t make out and she dares to move closer, repeating herself and praying that he hears her.

It’s only when she’s close that she realizes his eyes are open, but unseeing, focused on something beyond her.

“Brekker, can you hear me?” she forces authority into her voice that she does not feel, hoping that it breaks through something in his mind.

It’s only then that she dares to touch him, to put a featherlight hand on his pale shoulder. He groans, recoils away from her, and she jumps back just as quickly.

“Saints, Kaz. What am I supposed to do with you like this?” she asks him, her heart pounding through her chest.

She thinks about sending for Jesper, but as soon as she thinks it, she knows that Kaz would sooner die than be seen like this in front of him. Specht would be better, but she dismisses that idea, too. None of the other Dregs are suitable, except-

Inej is loath to do it, but she slips out Kaz’s door and down the stairs to find a runner.

-=-=-=-=-=-

“You look awful,” Nina says without preamble.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Inej mutters, staring down at Kaz, wincing that she’s repeating words he said not six hours ago. In the time between Inej sending for her and Nina arriving, his breathing has become rapid and labored, but every time she tries to touch him, to put a cool cloth against his head or give him any comfort or ease, he moans, or groans, or screams. Once he lashed out and Inej was so surprised that he managed to land a hit on her cheek, which she thinks is probably going to bruise.

“I’m not a Healer,” Nina sighs, but even so, she twists her hands in a way that Inej vaguely recognizes and Kaz’s breathing slows.

“Can you tell what’s wrong with him?” Inej hates that her voice sounds fretful.

“Chronic exhaustion, continuous pain, bad sleep? Some sort of infection on top of it,” Nina shrugs. Her eyes are a little unfocused, as if she’s staring through his skin. “He’s a mess, but it’s mostly his own doing.”

In the caravan, Inej’s mother would tend to her childhood illnesses with handfuls of herbs, teas, and baths. She wrapped Inej in colorful blankets, gave her cups of cool water. She can’t imagine doing that for Kaz when she can’t even touch him. “What do we do?”

“It’s a fever.” Nina is matter of fact, but when Inej shakes her head, she continues: “We can call a medik, but they’ll tell you the same thing: make him comfortable and wait it out. A Healer could do more, but they’d be doing little more than speeding up a process that’s probably best done in its own time.”

“I don’t think he’s ever been comfortable in his life.” Inej touches the place on her cheek where he struck her. “He won’t accept it.”

Nina frowns and leans in to look at a mark on Kaz’s chest. “These look like firepox scars,” she murmurs. “I’ve never seen them in person.”

“Firepox?” Inej asks, alarmed. “Isn’t that fatal?”

“It usually is. These are old.” Nina straightens. “I can get some herbs that should help, but it’s up to you to get them down his throat.”

“Why me?”

“Who else is going to do it? Jesper? Pim? Anika?”

“No, I’ll do it,” Inej sighs. “Before this, he said to make the deal with the Ravkan Embassy.”

Nina’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. “Really?”

“Yes. But I think you should take care of it fast.” Inej says firmly, glancing at an insensible Kaz Brekker.

Nina’s eyes narrow thoughtfully. “I’ll send you some herbs and instructions. Do you think you can keep him where he is for a few days?”

“If his fever breaks, I don’t know that I’ll be able to if he insists on it.”

“Can we agree that this would be easiest if he was not… involved?” Nina phrases it carefully, but Inej’s heart constricts.

“Make it fast,” she says instead.

“It’s a cage of his own making,” Nina says gently. “We’re just making sure that it suits our purposes for the moment.”

Somehow, that doesn’t make Inej feel better.

[nuclearnik]

You, Me, and the Stars by nuclearnik

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Nina/Matthias

Rated: G

Summary:  She is home in this pocket of space where the only glow is from the stars and moon, his heart beating beneath her cheek, strong and steady.

The stars blink down from an inky sky, little pinpricks of light to break up the darkness.

It doesn't feel like darkness to Nina, not when she's with Matthias, curled up against his side and held tight in his arms, lying in the bed of his truck atop the mountain of blankets he's brought to watch the evening sky come to life.

It feels like comfort. Like she is home in this pocket of space where the only glow is from the stars and moon, the city far away, taking all its light pollution with it. She can feel his heart beating beneath her cheek, strong and steady, a reassuring reminder that he is alive and well and with her.

The chilling, dark emptiness that fills her when she is alone is chased away, leaving only warmth in its wake.

She could get addicted to this feeling.

They've been together for a year now. There haven't been any serious discussions or grand plans, though. They just sort of fell into each other and let that carry them wherever it pleased.

For Nina, together looks like the rare mornings when she wakes before Matthias does—pressed close with all their limbs tangled—and leans back just enough to observe him. Just enough to watch the first light of dawn illuminate his face, peaceful in rest but his features still sharp, like some kind of warrior angel sent to earth, made just for her.

Together means the lazy weekend nights they spend watching reruns of M*A*S*H, sprawled on the couch with his head in her lap, her fingers smoothing back and forth through the soft strands of his hair. Sometimes he falls asleep like that, and Nina finds deep satisfaction in knowing he feels safe enough to be vulnerable in that way with her.

Together is found in the little things, like trips to the grocery store, the two of them arguing over the ratio of sweets to vegetables in the cart—because Matthias is still under the mistaken impression that food is fuel, but she's starting to get him to come around to the idea of finding pleasure in it—like an old married couple.

Together is the sense of rightness she gets when she looks at him after he's just finished a shift at work, hair damp with sweat and a smidge of grease on his chin, looking so delightfully rumpled that all she wants to do is muss him up further, drag her hands through his hair and crease his shirt with the strength of her fingers twisting into the fabric as their mouths meet.

So yes, they are together. They exchange I love you's frequently and enthusiastically, but they haven't yet spoken about taking the next step, really and truly merging their lives either with a new place entirely, or Nina moving in with him. Her lease is nearly up, but it's the end of her penultimate semester of college and she's been putting off finding a new place amidst the chaos of exams and final papers. 

Utterly comfortable with him in everything else, she has no idea why she's so hesitant to bring up moving in together. But he's had his space all to himself for a while now, and even though she frequents his apartment regularly, often staying over on weekends, she knows things will change, that living together can test even the strongest of relationships. She's a night owl and he's almost always up at the crack of dawn, for one.

And then there's the little matter of trusting someone to not leave, to not abandon her right at the moment she finally starts to let open her heart.

Continue reading on AO3

[acourtofsnakes]

Kov’nyn - Rogue, Chapter 13| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

Summary: The night after Din rescued you from your nightmare, you realise you have a lot to think about… and you might just reach a decision that could change your fate. 

Word count: 7k+

Warnings: None I think, in this one. Like one swear? Weapons/knives – not used in violence - Mainly just soft fluffy times! 

AN: This one is pretty gentle, nothing super big really happening. I thought I’d give you all a rest after the rollercoaster of the last chapter~

Also, time to play Spot The Easter Egg again!! Theres a quote in here from Six of Crows... can you find it?

Gif belongs to me♥︎

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl | 5: Kyr’am | 6: Cabur | 7: Ret'urcye Mhi | 8: Haran| 9: E’tad | 10: Tome | 11: Aliit ori'shya tal'din| 12: Mar’eyce | 13: Kov’nyn| 

Rogue Taglist: @snipskixandbeskar @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jackgrzs @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey​ @what-iwish-you-knew​ @queenofthefaceless​

Mando’a Translation: Kov'nyn  - Keldabe kiss

You stirred to the feeling of a pleasantly heavy arm resting over your torso. 

You froze, body going rigid on instinct at feeling the intrusion. Further inspection revealed a leg slung over yours and you could feel the line of armour digging into your calf. 

Armour?

Oh. Of course.

The Mandalorian. 

The previous night came flooding back to you in full technicolour, sending a slow wave of heat across your skin and relaxing your body. You remembered the horror of your nightmare, and then the Mandalorian coming in, soothing you, laying with you and then…

Everything that happened after. 

It didn’t even take that much concentration to imagine his hands again, those delightful touches. The husky roughness of his voice as he praised you, coaxed you to the edge and held you as you tumbled over. 

And then… he told you his name. 

He had given you a part of himself, something that was so poignant and personal. It made him who he was, gave him his identity and separated him from “The Mandalorian.” 

Din Djarin. 

Din. 

It was a gorgeous name. Simple, to the point. 

You had to admit, it suited him in that sense. But it felt like starlight on your tongue, and it was yours. He had given it to you, entrusting you with such a precious part of himself. 

In your opinion, tt was as significant as taking off his helmet, and it had settled in a place tucked against your heart, curled there and warmed you from the inside out. 

Din was still asleep next to you – you assume -  on his side. You had since rolled onto your back in the night, which did mean you were precariously close to the edge of the bed. 

Din hadn’t moved at all, presumably used to having to be still from all the times he spent wedged into the medical bay compartment on his side, with no room to move and Grogu in his hammock above him.

You could get used it, waking up with him. 

The modulator in his helmet allowed you to hear the soft, deep rhythm of his breathing and his armour had warmed overnight where it lay against your skin. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you woke up next to someone and had such an immense feeling of safety and comfort. 

This truly was home – wherever the Mandalorian was. 

Wherever Din was. 

You weren’t sure how long you laid there for, but you did know you were staring to get uncomfortable. The thin mattress – if you could even call it that – was irritating you, making you feel a little restless in this position. 

You could feel Din’s hand against your side, but you weren’t sure if his hands were still bare or not. Sleep had taken you before him, so you weren’t awake to witness him pulling them back on. 

You didn’t dare look properly, not wanting to lay your eyes on his bare skin, to break his Creed. So, you opened your eyes to slits, carefully peering across the room and you didn’t see any sign of his gloves. 

You tried to concentrate, to see if you could feel if he had his gloves back on. The blanket and your top didn’t really provide much help in that matter, naturally. 

Maybe you could wriggle a little? See if that did anything?

Of course, you could touch his hands, and then you would know. But the two times you had felt his bare skin previously, he was awake, and you had his consent. He was asleep, and therefore couldn’t tell you if it was okay or not.  

Wriggling it is. 

You began your movement, gently squirming with your hips shuffling side to side, to see if that would provide any knowledge on the matter – not that you thought it would. Truthfully, you didn’t know what you were doing. It was possible your brain still hadn’t engaged after being thoroughly wrecked last night in all ways. 

Unfortunately, a bed that was barely wide enough for you, combined with wriggling around and trying not to wake Din… Well, there was only one way it could end. 

With you dumped on the cold, metal floor. 

And taking the blanket with you. 

And yelping in surprise. 

“Cyar'ika?”

So much for not waking Din up. 

You groaned, rubbing your elbow where you had landed on it and then tried to untangle yourself from the blanket. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

The helmet appeared over the side of the bed, “Don’t be, I was already awake. What are you doing on the floor?” 

You rose to your knees and sighed, resting your chin on the edge of the cot, “I was uncomfortable, and I wanted to move, but I didn’t want to open my eyes in case you didn’t have your gloves on. And I didn’t know you were awake.”

Din tilted his head at you, “And that made you fall out of the bed?”

Resting the urge to stick your tongue out at him, you shook your head, “No, I was…” Here we go, “I was trying to feel if you had them on. Without touching you.”

Din was silent. 

It sounded like he sucked in a breath to speak, only to let it out again. 

He made a thoughtful noise. “I see. So… Instead of turning your cheek against my hand which was under your head by the way, you instead decided to try and… wriggle.. to feel my hand.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, having completely not realised his arm was still beneath your neck. “Yes.”

“Through the blanket.”

“Yes.”

“And your top.”

“… Yes.”

Din made a thoughtful noise again, “I see.” 

Then he started laughing, that gorgeous, rare sound that he had made only a few times in your presence. Sure, you sometimes got a chuckle, but this laugh was like liquid honey. 

Even if it was at your expense. 

“Hey!” You crossed your arms, trying not to laugh too, “Do not laugh at me! It’s your fault! You were awake and watched me struggle!”

The laughter still echoed out of the helmet as he laid back, a hand on his chest, “For someone who has so much grace in everyday life, you are terrible when it comes to night-time and early morning.” 

You rose to your feet this time, pushing your weight onto one leg and copying his ‘hands on hips’ pose, “Oh, because you’re so smooth?” You stuck your tongue at him, “Tin can.” You turned your back on him, meaning to walk from the room. 

You heard movement, and then he was suddenly behind you, catching your hand and lacing his fingers through yours, “Hey, come back to bed.” The laughter was still in his voice, turning it a little softer – and that combined with the coaxing tug to your hand… 

How could you say no to that?

Without turning around, you tried to carry on walking to the door and at least appear strong-willed, “After you just laughed at me? You think you can use that honeyed tone and I’ll come falling into your arms?” You arched an eyebrow, looking over your shoulder

Din gave your hand another gentle tug, stopping you in your tracks “I believe you were falling into my arms last night.” His chest bumped up against your back gently, and his other hand trailed lightly on your hip, just the barest touch in case you didn’t want it. 

Maker.

Heat creeped along your cheeks, and the ghost of his touch trailed over you again, leaving you speechless. 

He had you there. 

The grin on his lips was obvious even through the helmet as he succeeded in tugging you back into his body, winding his arms around your waist. His head ducked down, and you felt the cool beskar brush your ear, “How do you feel...? After last night?” His voice was soft and tender despite his teasing. And you knew he wasn’t just referring to the moment. 

Your body instantly turned boneless, and you melted back into him, fitting against the planes of his body, “I feel… good. Really. A little shaken up still but… you really helped me. Thank you for coming to me… again.” Your heart beat a little uncomfortably in your chest, anxiety trembling in your belly as it always did on the rare occasions you spoke about your darker emotions out loud. 

Din either felt or sensed this, because he rested the chin of his helmet on your shoulder, holding you back into him with his thumb running over your hip, “I’ll always come to you. Whenever you need me, I’ll be right there. And if for some reason I don’t wake up, you can come and find me, okay? Don’t suffer alone.” 

A lump rose in your throat and you nodded, not trusting your voice to speak. 

It was still so new to you, this care and attentiveness from someone. And even more so, letting someone care about you. 

It was always just you, on your own. If you got hurt, you had to fix yourself up. If you were hungry, it was either hunt, gather or steal your food – or go hungry. 

And if you were having a day that things were overwhelming you… well, you had to deal with that on your own too. Usually, you would just push it to the back of your mind, keep going on and on and on. If you didn’t stop, you didn’t feel. 

Which is probably why everything had caught up with you a lot more these past few months. 

For the first time in your life, you were slowing down. Stopping to breathe, to take note of your surroundings and to listen to what your body wanted for comfort rather than survival.

And so, everything that had been bottled up and restrained had begun to seep out. 

Including your powers. 

Din ran his thumb over your hip again, in lazy circles, “It doesn’t make you weak, needing help.” He always seemed to know the direction of your thoughts, “It makes you strong. Being able to admit that you need help, letting yourself feel everything. And I’ll always help you with whatever you need. And however much you want to give me, that’s okay too.” He squeezed your hip lightly, “We’re a clan, remember?” He let you go gently, and you would never know that he was referring not only to your trauma, but your powers too. Trying to tell you subtly that it was okay. He wasn’t scared of you, or what you could do. And he would wait. 

But, instead, you turned to him, smiling softly with the light back in your eyes that he adored to see, “Okay… thank you.” You reach up, gently caressing the side of his helmet, “And you remember that you can share with me too… always.” You rose up on tiptoe, kissing the side of the helmet and then dropped back down to your feet. 

Din nodded slightly, his hand caressing up your side once more and then he let you go, “I’ll leave you to get dressed.” He grazed the back of his finger to your cheekbone and then left the room.

~~

~~~

A few hours later, you were back travelling, playing with Duru’s tail as she laid across her spot next to the big open window. 

Din turned around in his seat to look at you, hands resting on his thighs in that achingly familiar pose, “I have to pick something up from somewhere today… Would you mind staying here to look after the kids? I’m not shutting you away or keeping you grounded, it’s just that it’s not the kind of place I want Grogu in… and it’ll only be for about an hour or so.” 

The vagueness of his explanation piqued your curiosity and you looked over at him, “Pick something up from somewhere? My my, Din, you have such a way with words!” Playfulness filtered through your tone, but it didn’t quite hide the small hitch in your voice as you said his name. 

You would never get used to it, you didn’t think. 

The fact that you knew his name. That you could say it, whenever you pleased – as long as you weren’t around anyone else of course. 

By the way his chest stuttered, you knew he wouldn’t either. You could sense the eye-roll though, “Ahaha. I have to keep a few things to myself; you know. How else am I going to keep you around?” 

You blinked at him, feigning surprise, “Oh, you – you think I stay here for you?” Shaking your head rapidly, you held up Grogu, who had been toddling around on the floor in front of you, “Me and Duru stay here for him. You’re just an added body.” 

Grogu cooed brightly, raising his arms in the air and patting your cheeks as you lifted him. To you, it sounded like he agreed. 

 You smiled widely at him, lifting your eyes back to Din, “He agrees with me.” 

Din mock sighed loudly, turning back around with a mutter that sounded something like, “Maker, save me.” 

You chuckled, leaning back in your seat and holding out Grogu’s ball to him, “But yes, that’s fine. I don’t mind staying here whilst you go about getting things from places.” 

Truly, you didn’t mind. You needed to sharpen your vibrobrade which was looking a little worse for wear lately. And besides, you would be more than happy playing with the kid and Duru for an hour or so – you needed some privacy to have a little meltdown over last night. 

~~

~~~

A few hours later, Din had landed the Crest and had set off to ‘pick something up from somewhere.” 

Before he left, he’d ruffled the kid’s ears, stroked Duru’s chin and then ran the back of his finger across your cheekbone, giving you a lingering look – through the helmet, of course – and then set off. 

You’d then brought your blade up to the cockpit where the kids were, and settled into the pilot’s seat, beginning to sharpen your blade. 

The Crest was sealed tight, so you were all safe, and the landscape outside of the windows provided you with a dusty, barren view. 

As you sharpened your blade, you let your mind wander, allowing it to take the flow of whatever thoughts it decided. 

Naturally, it was going to be one of two things. 

Din, or your powers. 

Today, your mind chose the topic of powers.

You knew that you couldn’t hide them from Din forever. It had been months now since you’d met, and he still had no clue about it, about why you had such a bounty on your head. 

And he’d given you so much, not only by choosing to spare you and keep you safe, but by also given you his name.

And not only that, but every single little thing in between. From making sure you were fed, to coming to check on you after your nightmares. 

He would give you his cape if you were cold or offer up extra blankets. 

And it wasn’t that he thought you were incapable of doing those things yourself, or that you needed to be ‘cared for’. He knew that you were capable and resourceful, and he knew how strong you were. 

He knew that you were stronger than you believed yourself to be, so it wasn’t that at all.

 You knew it was because… he liked having someone else there. 

Sure, it disrupted his routines and he still wasn’t used to it, which you could tell because you felt exactly the same. You still hadn’t become accustomed to waking up in someone else’s presence or going to sleep and trusting another person to stay awake – and not kill you. 

And perhaps the biggest change for him was that now, with you there as well as the kid, there were even less chances for him to remove his helmet and armour and let his skin breathe. 

He had mentioned as much to you before in passing, that he had to be more careful with Grogu around, and even though he hadn’t said it, your presence meant those times were even rarer. 

He didn’t even have the privacy of his own room to do so – he had given that up for you. 

Another thing to add to the list. 

He deserves to know. 

You knew the voice was right. He did deserve to know. 

And not because you felt you owed him for what he’d given up for you – that wasn’t it at all. 

This journey you were on, the way your lives were tightly woven together… who were you to watch him put a bigger target on his head – and not even tell him why?

A sigh heaved its way out of your chest. 

You wanted to tell him so badly, you felt it in your chest. 

But you didn’t know how. 

How would you bring it up? 

“Hey, Din? I have something to tell you… The reason I have the highest bounty ever on my head is because… well... I’m Force Sensitive. I’m not a Jedi or anything but I have the ability to use the Force. Oh, what’s the Force, you ask? Well, it’s the energy that flows in and around every living thing.” 

That just sounded cringey and ridiculous, and you doubted he would even know what the Force was. He didn’t even know that’s what the kid had. 

Hell, you had never even acknowledged to yourself out loud that it was the Force. 

It just… seemed ridiculous to you. 

The Force belonged to the Jedi. If you had the power, you trained to be a warrior and a guardian of peace and life. 

You didn’t go on the run and kill people. 

You didn’t deserve to be associated with that kind of honour. Even if you never trained to be an actual Jedi… you didn’t deserve it. 

But you couldn’t go on like this, hiding it. 

Every time a silence fell, it was sitting there, waiting to burst out and just finally tell him, tell someone. And you knew that once you started, you wouldn’t stop. 

The whole story would come out. 

Your parents, the market, the first time you killed to save your own life and every time after that. He would learn about how good it felt, the sick power that washed over you and then the horrendous shame and guilt that had you vomiting for hours after. 

The story of how you ended up on top of that cliff and then in the water would come out. 

All of it, every single thing that had tied you to this life would be revealed. 

It would all be laid bare to him, leaving you as open and exposed as if he had removed his own armour. 

And that’s what terrified you. 

He would know every single thing, and it would be his decision how to take it. 

And you would respect it, whatever it was. 

If he wanted you gone, far away from himself and his kid, then you would go. Willingly. 

Sure, it would kill you, but you would understand why. 

But if he looked over it all, the darkness, the running, your power… If he looked at it, acknowledged the bad but saw how it had created the good, the fun, the way you’d gone from tripping over a bow to being able to shoot with your eyes closed and the light that had grown in you… If he saw every single thing, and still wanted to be with you…

Well, you didn’t quite know how to take that. 

You might well cry. 

And… if you were honest, you’d built yourself up to telling him. You decided yesterday that you were going to tell him this afternoon. 

But then you had that nightmare. 

Of course, you knew that he would never harm you, never hold a knife to your throat and drive it into your heart. That wasn’t what you were worried about. 

It was your reaction. 

The way the power had exploded and destroyed him. 

What if you got too worked up when you told him, and you couldn’t control it?

You’d restrained it for so long, for twenty years and it was started to come out. 

And you hadn’t admitted it to yourself but… it was becoming agony. 

The aches and pains that you had tried to write off as from hunting or the thin bed… 

You knew it wasn’t. 

It was the strain of holding back your power. 

You needed to let it go, to finally open yourself up and accept it, whatever it may be. 

You just didn’t know how. 

A soft coo brought you out of your rapidly spiralling thoughts. 

You lifted your attention from your knife, and found Grogu holding his metal ball, sitting in your usual co-pilot’s chair. He waved it in his hand, gurgling and you just knew, somehow, that he was asking to play catch. 

A broad smile lit your face, and you sheathed your knife, stowing it to the side, “Of course, little guy, I’ll play catch with you.” You turned your attention to him fully and held out your hand, “Whenever you’re ready, Gu.” The affectionate nickname had developed a few days ago, and the kid loved it. 

He lifted his hand, his little forehead furrowing in concentration, and then the ball lifted, floating in the air slowly toward you where it dropped into your palm. 

A feeling of warm pride filled your chest, and you laughed a little, clapping your hands, “Well done!! You’re getting better at that!” 

Din had told you that sometimes he struggled to use his powers and if he used them for a particularly long time, or for something intense, it would completely wipe him out. 

He told you he’d been gently coaxing him to use them, to be more confident with them and praise him for every small achievement - at the recommendation of a friend. 

You lifted the ball up, “Ready to catch it?” You threw it across the cockpit, gently, so he would have time to stop it. 

Which he didn’t. 

It fell straight into his lap… but that may have been because he didn’t even bother to lift his hand. He just looked at you. 

You tilted your head slightly, remembering Din’s words, “That’s okay, you can try again!” You held your hand out ready. 

A few moments later, it plopped back into your palm. You praised him, then threw it back, but yet again he let it land in in his lap without trying. 

Four turns later, and he started to huff every time you threw the ball, his ears twitching like he was annoyed. 

You sighed a little, “Gu, c’mon buddy… Try at least? For me? You send it to me perfectly, why won’t you catch it?” You raised your eyebrows a little, voice still encouraging but a little firm – again, as Din had relayed back to you as the best way. 

The kid just grumbled, his ears raising and falling again, and he pointed at your hand. 

Lifting the ball, you nodded, “I know you want the ball, but you have to try and catch it with yo-“

His rapidly shaking head stopped you. He pointed more emphatically at your hand, his glossy eyes wide and then you realised exactly what his problem was. 

He wanted you to throw the ball, sure… but not physically. 

He wanted you to use your power. 

Shaking your own head, you feigned innocence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Grogu simply wiggled his little feet and waited. 

And so did you. 

You stared him down, rolling the ball in your hands, “You know, I really do not know what you’re referring to. You’re mistaken. Now, catch the ball, you little womp rat.” You let your affection for him show in your tone, so he would know you weren’t being mean. You tossed the ball toward him. 

His palm lifted and it stopped mid-air, before whizzing back at you with speed, straight toward your head. 

Your own hand whipped up and you caught it just before it could bonk you on the nose, “Hey! Don’t throw things at me!” 

His ears flapped in annoyance and he make some kind of noise, waving his hands. 

And then he opened his mouth to cry. 

With a groan of defeat, you rubbed your forehead, “Fine! Fine. You’re right. I have the same powers as you.” 

His mouth immediately closed and broke into a wide grin. 

Cheeky little thing. 

You held yourself very still, gazing down at this tiny creature, who had apparently guessed your one big secret. Tilting your head the other way, you narrowed your eyes a little, “How did you guess?” 

Grogu mimicked your head tilt but revealed nothing. He just watched you, smiling happily and patting his hands together to wait for the ball. 

All of your life a secret, and a tiny green baby with an affinity for frogs and space macarons had managed to work you out. 

You couldn’t help the laugh, shaking your head at the whole situation, “You are a clever little baby aren’t you, huh?” You watched him for a little while, and then lifted up your hand flat, letting the ball rest in your open palm. 

You took a deep breath, focusing on the ball. 

Easy. Just concentrate. 

You closed your eyes, slowing your breathing, allowing it to relax in time with the beating of your heart. Ignoring the beeping of the Crest, the worry of using it, you focused simply on the ball, and the air around it. Imaging it rising from your palm, gliding across the air and landing in Grogu’s little hand. 

As simple as that. 

You swallowed, and then opened a tiny gate in that cage, a small gasp releasing from your lungs as the power thrummed through your blood, letting you feel the space ahead of you, the empty air becoming a malleable thing, and you tried not to flinch as the weight of the ball vanished from your palm. 

A breath in, a breath out. Focus. 

Like an invisible hand, you began to guide the ball across the open air, as if it caressed the ball like a boat and carried it across the ocean. 

You were nearly there; you could feel it. The ball was nearing Grogu’s palm, and you were dimly aware of his delighted noises, pride in his own glee like you had for him. 

Nearly there. 

You were doing it. You were controlling that wave, keeping it restrained and focused where you needed it. It was easy and it felt… it felt good. Natural, like breathing.  

This was what you’d missed for the last twenty years, being able to spread it wide or bring it in narrow. 

You didn’t need to be scared, if you could focus it in minimal amounts like this. 

It was okay, you were okay and –

“Sweetheart? Grogu?”

The suddenness of din’s voice broke your concentration and the ball fell to the floor with a soft thunk. 

Your eyes snapped open as your heart leapt into your both and you looked toward the entrance to the cockpit, hoping he was below, hoping he hadn’t seen. 

It was empty. 

The sound had come right from below, as he looked for you. 

You swallowed, keeping your voice even, “Up here.” You turned your gaze to Grogu, knowing you looked as pleading as you sounded, “Please don’t tell him…” You whispered the words, but you knew he understood, the ball zipping to his hand as if he had been playing with it the whole time. 

Gratitude for the small creature flooded your heart and you smiled at him, a little shakily as Din’s shiny head popped up the ladder. 

“Hey, sorry I was a little longer than expected…” He reached the top of the ladder, rising to stand at his full height. He saw you in his seat, one of his hands coming to rest on his hip, “Oh, I see it didn’t take you long to replace me.” He motioned to you in his chair, the husky tone of his voice teasing. 

You leant back in the chair, swaying it from side to side slightly with a grin, “Nope. Not at all. We don’t need you. You can go back out if you want. Shut the door on your way out.” You tilted your head back against the chair, one leg lounged over the arm like it was a throne. 

He called you princess still, so why not play on it?

Did you not deserve a fancy dress and a crown?

Of course, you had no idea what this sight was doing to him, playing on a fantasy he’d had for a while now about this cockpit and that particular pilots chair. 

He laughed, shaking his head and he rested against the side of the cockpit, arms crossed and pulling the fabric of his clothes tight – much to your own delight. “Right, I’ll just grab my things and leave, then. It’s been good knowing you, princess.” 

This. 

This was what you loved. The fact that you could have moments like last night, intense and passionate – or snarling and angry – and still retain the playful teasing that had always hovered between you. 

You shook your head, grinning softly, “Nah, I’m kidding. I need you around to fly the ship… I have actually no idea how to.” You looked over your shoulder at the control panel, the mass of buttons and switches and lights. 

Put you in front of a forest to track an animal or spot a hunter or present you with a variety of leaves and plants and you could identify them all. Give you a few meagre supplies and you’ll have a selection of weapons crafted in minutes. 

But flying a ship?

No, thank you. 

Din chuckled, and you knew he was grinning beneath the helmet, “I’ll teach you one day.” He straightened up suddenly and held out his hand, “Come with me.” 

With a tilt of your head, you unwound yourself from the chair and slid your hand into his, the worn leather soft against your palm and fingers, “Where are going?” 

Din tugged you gently toward the ladder, “I got you something...” His voice was a little quieter as he waited for you to descend the ladder. 

You peered up at him, pausing to lower yourself down, “When you were off getting things from places?” You tried not to smile, your lips twitching. 

Din huffed softly, and there was an implied verbal eyeroll there, “Get down the damn steps before I push you down them myself.” 

Your laugh floated up as you descended, “And I would grab your foot on the way down and take you with me.” 

A few moments later, you were making your way through the ship again. 

Din stopped at the weapons cabinet, then turned to face you, “Close your eyes.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, eyes flicking to the weapons cabinet and then him, but you did as you were told, closing your eyes. 

“Hold out your hands.” 

Lips twitching again, you held out your hands obediently. 

There was the sound of the cabinet opening and then rustling from within. 

A pause. 

Then you felt smooth, cool metal resting on your palms, across them both but you could tell it was wider. 

You tilted our head curiously, brows furrowing a little as your fingers curled around the mysterious object. 

Din’s voice sounded again, sounding… almost hesitant, “Open...” 

Light filtered back in as you opened your eyes, looking down at the object in your hands. 

Your breathing stopped in awe as you beheld the most gorgeous bow you had ever seen. 

The metal was a sleek matte black, dimly reflecting the light of the ship back at you. 

Inlaid into the metal was a gorgeous swirling design which spread across the arch of the bow. In the centre, where your arrowhead would rest against, a full moon created the focal point of the engraving. 

Just like your tattoo.

Din silently extended his hands, and he was holding a matching quiver and arrows. Everything matched the bow, and the same gold design was etched down the body of the arrows. They ended in wickedly sharp, curved heads and just be the feel and weight of them, you knew they were deadly accurate and fast. 

Quite simply, it was the most stunning weaponry you’d ever laid your eyes upon. 

It was the perfect size for your body, and when you held it up to test the flexibility, it was exactly as you were used to, just like the bow you had lovingly cherished before you lost it on Sorgan. 

This had been made purposely for you. 

Din had taken your measurement – of course he knew them, - and somehow got every single tiny detail perfect. The string wasn’t too taught or hard to maneuverer. It responded to your touch, exactly as you wanted to. 

You lifted your eyes to Din, your expression one of awe and… just simple adoration. 

It took you a few tries to speak, finding your throat has closed up a slightly with tears. You cleared it, though your voice remained husky, “Din… This…” You shook your head, no words being strong enough to relay to him how much you loved it, how perfect it was. 

Din was fiddling with his vambrace as he watched you, “Do you like it? I hope I got your measurements right… I had it commissioned a few weeks ago and it was only just finished. I… The design is a play on your tattoo.” He audibly swallowed, “If anything isn’t right, we can take it back and get it changed. Or if you don’t like it, you can have something completely new m-”

“Din, shush.” Gazing across the bow, you caressed the design with your fingertips, “It’s… beyond perfect. Truly. I couldn’t have designed it any better myself.” You lifted your eyes back to him, a swelling feeling in your chest, “This must have cost a fortune…” 

He shook his head a little, his shoulders relaxing and his hands stilling when he saw how much you truly adored it, “Cara told me that you were discussing your favourite weapons one day… You’d told her that as familiar as you were with knives, you missed your bow.” 

Oh, you did. You knew it wasn’t always the most suitable weapon – considering the number of different blasters and rifles that your pursuers used – but sometimes it had allowed you to escape before the fight had even begun. Perched high in a tree, an arrow whistling you the air in deadly silence and then it was over. 

And now you had one. 

An absolutely stunning one at that. 

A soft laugh of delight slipped from your chest and then you were grinning broadly, “Oooh, I can’t wait to use this. You think I’m lethal with a knife, you should see me with one of these.” You nocked one of the arrows, testing the resistance now it was loaded, and you sighted along it, “We have to go play, soon, I beg you.”

Din chuckled adoringly, fully relaxing at your excitement, “Of course...” He watched you quietly for a moment, leaning back against the cabinet. “In Mandalorian culture… giving weapons can sometimes symbolise – well, not all the time but within some households and clans – it can.. uh-“ He lifted a hand like he was going to scratch the back of his neck, another awkward habit that seemed so out of place. 

You looked over at him, carefully setting the arrow back in the quiver, “What can it mean?” You kept your voice light and casual, as if you didn’t notice his fumbling. 

Din cleared his throat, “It can sometimes mean a marriage proposal.” 

The quiver fell to the floor in a rattle of metal that broke through the air. 

He was playing you, right?

You stooped to the quiver, carefully scooping the arrows back in, “I – uh.. You mean-“

Din was watching you intently, “It doesn’t always mean it, but some couples present each other with a new weapon to signify their bond. And that they want to spend the rest of their days together. 

Blood pulsed through your ears, making your belly feel funny and your bones feel light. “I… I mean, I know a lot has happened between us, and-“

Din suddenly burst out laughing, lifting a hand to his chest like he could try to contain it, but it just kept coming. 

Rising back to your feet, you raised your eyebrows at him, confusion etched on your face at the sudden turn of his behaviour. 

The laughter poured from his lips like sunshine, stirring your chest out of its confusion and filling it with adoration. “Oh, you should have seen your face.” He tilted his helmet to you, trying to quell his laughter. 

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “When we go and use these, remind me to put you in front of a tree.” 

Din tried to speak straight through his chuckles, “And why’s that?”

Walking toward him, you poked him in the chest, “So I can use you as target practice, you shiny asshole.” You tried not to laugh, to keep a straight face. The truth was, if you could have bottled his laughter and gotten drunk on it forever, you would have. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard, as rare and lovely as a shooting star. And you just knew that this man didn’t often laugh like this, so easily. 

His hand snaked around your wrist, gently pressing your palm flat to his chest as he contained his amusement, “I wanted to play with you… It is true, but I didn’t get them for that.” He tilted his head just slightly, “You’re a warrior, and… a goddess. So… you deserve the weapons to match.” 

So simple. Such easy words for him to speak, but the meaning and casual pride and care in his voice completely floored you. 

You still weren’t used to such compliments and showering’s of affection – you didn’t think you ever would be. 

The fact that he had complimented you more in your life than anyone else (save for your parents) had your eyes turning glass again, your throat closing a little as that realisation truly set in. 

This man believed in you, saw you, more than anyone. 

You gazed up at him, through the visor of his helmet and not for the first time, you had the truly selfish thought, that you wished he could take it off. 

So you could show him just how much he meant to you, show him how his words held you above water when you were drowning. 

You weren’t good with them, no better than he was really, but you just wished you could show him. He deserved it, to feel those same feelings in return, to be praised and adored for the brilliant man he was. 

Din tilted his head further, his thumb running over your knuckles, “What’s going through that magnificent brain of yours, cyar'ika? Tell me…” The soft, low tenor of his voice never failed to skitter over your bones like fire. 

You bit your lip, the words tumbling out before you could stop them, “I wish I could kiss you.”

Not even two seconds later, it crashed through your brain just how that sounded, how ungrateful and selfish it came across. Your eyes closed in disgust at yourself and you flushed in shame, “Maker, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry for how that sounded, please believe me, I didn’t-”  

Suddenly, Din moved. He leant down and rested the forehead of his helmet on yours. 

The metal was cool, the weight of it gently pressing against your skin, shutting you up with the unfamiliar gesture. 

Din lifted his other hand to your waist, resting his hand there lightly – respectfully. “Kov'nyn.”

You blinked a few times, “Kov… huh?” You guessed it was Mando’a, but you had no idea what it meant. 

His thumb lightly rubbed over your hip bone, sending tiny shockwaves through you, “Kov'nyn.” He used his other hand to gesture at the position you were in, “This is called a keldabe kiss. It can be used in battle, as a headbutt or something but it can also be a show of affection. Mandalorian’s don’t show each other their faces until marriage… so instead we do this. A keldabe kiss.”

You were quiet as you absorbed that, the soft sweetness of the gesture, your head tilted up to Din, and something in you told you he was gazing into your eyes. 

It was incredibly intimate too, despite the later of armour separating you. 

He couldn’t quite offer you the kiss you meant, but he could give you this. And… this was as good as showing each other the affection you intended. 

You didn’t know how long you stood there, his hand lightly on your waist, yours still on his chest but then you started to laugh at something. 

He tilted his head slightly against your forehead, “What now?” His voice was light though, curious as to what had tickled you this time. 

You grinned cheekily, tapping your fingertips over his chest. “Again with the marriage talk. Are you sure you don’t need to tell me something?”

Din laughed too, that heart-stopping, gorgeous laugh, filling the space with starlight and joy, “No. At least not yet, sweetheart.” 

~~~

~~

~

You gazed down at the comms unit. 

The code on the back of Rena’s card had been typed in and staring at you for the last twenty minutes. You were sitting cross-legged in your room, door firmly shut after your wash in the ‘fresher. 

Din was in there now; you could hear the echo of the water splashing down. 

You were only going to change clothes and go back to the cockpit, but when you’d taken them off, Rena’s card had fallen out and… here you were. 

Just call him. 

Your thumb hesitated over the call button, nerves whispering through your blood. 

Was this a good idea? To ask for help? 

There was still the matter of how he knew about you, and how he found you in the first place. 

Maybe this isn’t a good idea. 

Din would be furious, he doesn’t trust him. He thinks he’s a legend come to life.

True, Din would be so pissed.

But… this wasn’t Din’s decision to make. 

It was yours. 

Ever since your parents died, you had been running. From hunters, from the law but mostly... from yourself. 

You were being stalked and hunted for your powers. 

The very thing that you once adored and made you unique, and special, you now viewed as… a burden?

No... that wasn’t it. It was never a burden. 

Yes, it sometimes caused you more trouble than it was worth, and you did fear it but… you longed for it. 

With every fibre in your being, you wished you could utilise it. To once again make it a part of you and feel the purity of it. The energy that flowed in and around every single living thing, responding and allowing you to manipulate it. 

The little experiments you had started to conduct, testing to see if you could control even a small amount… they were making you crave it even more. Even though it terrified you and your nightmare had flashed back in your mind, you had managed to control it this afternoon with Grogu. 

Even if it was just a tiny ounce, it had listened to you – like you were one again. 

Rena had told you that there was nothing to fear from him. His sister had been gifted with the same abilities. 

Din would understand when you explained it to him… but you wanted to at least know more about how to control it. That way, you could tell him and… show him. Show him what you’d been hiding this whole time. 

Maybe it was time. 

Maybe it was time to stop being scared of it, of who you were. 

Maybe it was time to embrace it and become who you were meant to be. 

And so, you pressed the call button. 

Previous| Next

[burn-like-starss]

Congrats!!! You're an amazing account and I'm so glad that I'm following you!

Some random questions (only answer things you'd like to answer/are comfortable with!):

- What are two movies that were so boring you could barely watch/didn't finish?

- How old were you when you first started getting embarrassed about things?

- Recommend a book?

- Do you have a favorite flower?

- What's something that you're ashamed of?

- Do you like board games? If so, what are some of your favorites?

- List five things you love about yourself.

- If you could be anywhere in the world right now other than where you are, where would you go?

- What school subjects are tolerable - not the worst but certainly not the best?

- What's something you're self conscious about?

- Do you have any "hidden talents"?

- When's the last time you cried from happiness? Why?

- Do you like heavy blankets?

Okay, that's it! Have a wonderful day/night!

Congratulations again on 500! Hope it's not too weird having so many followers. There are more people following you than the number of people that attended my middle school!

Thanks!!

- Gulabo Sitabo (I watched almost half of it and there was just no point to it?? I fell asleep) and book club I guess? I was watching it with my friends and it was way too ridiculous to continue watching

- Uh 10 or 11 (that's my best guess)

- Bestie I have so many recs but here are two of my favs rn

• One last stop (wlw, time jumping, found family do I need to say more?)

• Six of crows (honestly the best heist ever)

- Not really but I love black roses

- I'm embarrassed by a lot of things I do... Idk about being ashamed of them tho

- Monopoly/ Business (the most iconic and best thing ever) and also catan

- I literally can't think of anything rn

- Probably with my friends to no particular destination or Pennsylvania (@mysticals-fantasy )

- Science or English

- My looks.... More particularly my face

- I don't think so?? If I do they're hidden from me

- When I watched Everybody's Talking About Jamie

- Yes!! The comfort of being hugged-

Thank you so much love!! Trust me I know... I can't even name 500 people I know (famous people included)

[chaosciara]

where the arch meets

I have not read King of Scars so I do not know anything about the plot therefore some information about Nikolai could be outdated. This is also the first time I've ever written for this fandom so hopefully I did the characters justice. My friend and I watched S&B and were talking about ships and I said I wanted to see Kaz and Nikolai together which then prompted whatever the hell happened here, please enjoy!

CW: mentions of blood, mentions of gambling

There are no spoilers for the S&B show

masterlist; my links

[image has alt text]

Kaz stares out the window, a glum look on his usually stoic face. Ketterdam was alive, unusual joy spinning itself in the streets as the city busies itself for the arrival of the one and only King Nikolai Lantsov. The festivities of the "Peacekeeper" as he had been so lovingly named, had started three long days ago. Every day that Kaz wakes up to popping streamers, and the litany of ballads associated with the King's ever growing list accomplishments, is a day his stolen peace gets ripped from beneath him. He's not even sure why the King is so popular. He can't say he was anywhere near impressed enough at their brief meeting to warrant the five different ballads about those hazel eyes alone. Kaz looks down at the papers littering his desk, crow club books and bank statements for his various 'assets', communications between the various councils in Ravka and Ketterdam, and the most recent letter from Inej, smelling of the sea.

Their friendship is something of a mystery to the world but between them she is the rock that kept him steady. Even now, with her sailing the high seas content to her freedom, he can feel the unwavering quiet of her. Briefly, he wishes she were here. She would make him laugh, tell him to stop being so glum about the brown-eyed, blonde haired king if he insisted on doing nothing about it. He wouldn't let his amusement at her teasing show, but later in the safety of his room, this room, he'd let a rare smile show. He misses their quiet friendship most of all. But she is happy on her ship with her crew and he has shit to do. He always has shit to do.

The thought, stark and unwelcome, snaps him back to the present. A scowl replaces his faraway look as he shuts the window to the new round of baudy tunes drifting up and straight into the headache knocking at his skull. He sits back down harder than he intended, and winces at the pain that lances down his back and into his leg. He can hear Nina, chastising him for not putting on the salve, for not resting. But he doesn't have the time. He can't do something as normal as rest. He has a city to run. Or at least the underbelly of a city to run.

The statements stare at him but the numbers swirl like melting ice-cream in a bowl, and he wants to throw the pages in the fire in frustration. But he has never acted on emotion, and he will not start now. So he pushes away from his desk, cane already cool under his fingertips, and makes his way to the floors of the crow club.

The passage muffles the sounds of chips cluttering on a table, and glasses set down hard on the wood, and shouting when someone wins, loses, almost gets decked for supposed cheating. But as soon as he steps past the doors, nodding at the two guards he'd posted at this entrance, all of that chaos surrounds him. There is no hush as he steps into the room, no blanket of fear or anger or anything. They don't even know he is there. They won't until he makes himself known. Spending years with his Wraith had taught him some things, even with the click of his cane. He looks to the corner expecting to spot Jesper; his heart, as it had done every day since they had all parted ways, clenched upon seeing the empty space where his sharpshooter was supposed to be. The disappointment doesn't stop his eyes from travelling to the table closest to the kitchens— or as the Nina lovingly called it, the muck hut— where Wylan was usually hunched over notebooks or losing to just about everyone, except maybe Inej, in a game of cards.

He misses them. He'd never tell them, would never let it so much as flash across his face, but he couldn't stop his heart from the same onslaught. He felt it every day. Every time he looked to his window and Inej wasn't perched atop it. Every time he walked to the gambling tables and Jesper wasn't leaning over it, brown eyes shining with hope. Every time he wandered the corridors of the club hearing Wylan's flute. When he decides to put salve on it's because he hears Nina's voice, sees her frown, as she tries so hard to heal them. He even misses Matthias but that is a road he doesn't allow himself to go down. A failure he cannot yet acknowledge. His trip down memory lane ends abruptly when a man with a hood over his eyes, shadowing his face, steps up to him.

"You Kaz, Kaz Brekker?" The voice is rough, almost too rough, but the lilting accent is familiar. Before he can place it the man is talking again.

"I want to speak with you, about a deal."

Kaz tilts his head, resting gloved hands on his cane as he takes the figure in. "Liar."

The man sputters jerking back, and just briefly he catches a glimpse of golden skin and something shiny pinned to his coat. "It's urgent!" The man's voice is not so rough, and that accent, charming in a way, bleeds through more and more.

"I'm not available for deals." It is not true, but he wants to see how they'll react, what they're capable of if he says no.

"You'll like this one." The roughness has been replaced by arrogance. And the world opens wide for Kaz.

"Come," He turns, already limping towards the doors and his rooms beyond. "Don't say anything until we're behind closed doors"

It takes them exactly one minute and twelve seconds to get to his study. As soon as he hears the door click behind him, he lifts his cane and with brutal precision he rips through the clasp at the man's chest and watches the coat land in a heap on his wooden floor. Letting the crows head of his cane fall back into his hand he finally looks up. "What are you doing here King?" The question holds more exhaustion than he's willing to admit.

"What?" The King of Ravka grins, beautiful and bright and full of arrogance, "You aren't happy to see me?"

And Kaz wants to tell him no and piss off and leave me alone, but his heart is pounding and there is blood rushing between his ears and he doesn't really remember what breathing does, how it works. Because this is the first time he's ever seen Nikolai. When they met all those years ago he was Sturmhond, the privateer. Since then Kaz has only seen posters, and art. But none of them, not a single one, has ever done the king justice. He is........ he is magic.

"Oh come on," The blonde is laughing. It sounds like water. It sounds like peace. "You can't expect me to act like a stranger after all the letters we've sent." Yes, the letters. The updates King Nikolai had requested about Ketterdam, about the barrel, about the illegal smuggling of grisha to work as slaves. Those letters. "What?" The King looks at him speculatively, amusement sparking in his hazel eyes— they suit him so much better than the green of Sturmhond. "Volcra got your tongue?"

“Didn't know you would be in town," Kaz manages to grind out. He hopes it sounds like irritation and not infatuation.

"The six million posters and seven ballads about my adventures aboard the Kingfisher were not notice enough?" That grin is back. It is ruining him. "Oh dear, next time I'll be sure to add floating parades to the mix."

"That's tomorrow." He glowers. He doesn't think the blonde could get anymore insufferable. He is wrong.

"Do you have plans to attend then?"

He ignores the question, the tease. "What are you doing here Lantsov?"

"I'm here for the festival Mr, Brekker."

"I mean here." He motions to the room, to him. "What are you doing in the Barrel, in my club—" He wants to say 'in my room'. He catches himself.

"I came," Nikolai steps a little closer. There's still do much distance between them, practically an ocean, but Kaz can feel the tension wrapping around his lungs. He wants out. He wants closer. He wants, he wants, he wants....... "To visit a friend Mr Brekker. I don't exchange letters detailing my failed attempt at diving through the sky with just anyone." Oh saints he's going to die. He's never going to survive this. His face is a brick wall, a crack where his frown breaks through.

"You are a busy man King, busier even, than i am." He wants to applaud himself for the steadiness of his voice. "I doubt that you had time to just pop by. So what do you want, Nikolai?"

There is a flash of something in those beautiful eyes, and he wants to chase it to the ends of the earth. "Must we always have an ulterior motive?" The voice is quiet, but it is filled with curiosity and emotions Kaz doesn't have the ability to unpack. "Is it not good enough that I wanted to see you Kaz."

The Underboss of Ketterdam becomes a rain, becomes wind, and earth, and gold. He sits down on his desk, uninterested in the groan of the wood as it tries to carry his weight. Nikolai looks at him, soft and open, all that charm hidden- packed away for a moment far removed from this one. Somehow the distance has shrunk between them until there is only two steps, maybe three before their bodies can collide. He knows Nikolai would not come closer, but some part of him wants the king to try. Wants to see what would happen. He shoves that part so far down it got to hell before him.

"Say something," The blonde whispers.

"How long till they realize you've snuck off?" The bark of laughter that escapes the king is like jurda straight into his bloodstream.

"We have an hour tops."

"Let's go." He throws a new hood, midnight blue and embellished with golden thread, at him. It's his own. He doesn't have time to find another. Nikolai puts it on, fastening the small gold clasp at his front, and Kaz has to remind himself to breathe when he sees how beautiful those colours are against that golden skin. It looks a thousand times better on Nikolai than it ever had in him.

"Where are we off to then?" The blonde asks, his familiar charm steady through his features once more. "You're not intending to kidnap me and sell me to the highest bidder are you?" Before he can even start to ignore the question Nikolai is carrying on. "I have to tell you I won't make a very high bid. I seem to have botched myself a little when I turned into one of the Darkling's little pets. I think my di—"

"Shut up will you," He snaps, black eyes scanning the club as they walk through it.

"A little tense Mr Brekker," He can hear the grin. He doesn't know whether he wants to slap it or stare at it. He keeps walking.

They're outside and it's just started to drizzle and he has the brief thought that maybe he shouldn't be making the king of Ravka gallivant in the rain. But then he catches a glimpse of Nikolai's expression, full of wonder and glinting with excitement and he can't turn back even if he wants to.

"Kaz," Saints he loves the way the blonde says his name. "I really think it's better if I know where we're going, sake of safety and all that."

"We're going to the docks."

"You're not intending to drown me, are you?" There is no concern hidden behind the question, only delighted amusement.

"If I had intended to be rid of you Nikolai," Kaz turns his head, stares at the man, "I would have done it the second you walked into my club."

"Even though you didn't know it was me?"

It's his turn to smirk, and he revels in it. "I know everyone that comes into my club, King." The title reverberates in his throat. He catches the flash in the royal's eye.

"Why are you taking us to the docks?"

"I want to show you something, privateer." The strangled noise he hears in answer makes him force down the smile threatening to erupt.

The rain is at that awkward stage where it's more than a drizzle but less than a downpour. The kind that seeps into your clothes, makes your bones wet before you can even feel it on your skin. But they're almost there, he can see their destination clear in front of him. They are quiet, a rare thing for Nikolai he thinks, as they walk. Every now and then he glances to his companion who is always staring at the world in wonder. Like every corner produces a new kind of thrill. Like he'll be able to collect them all and bottle them for his journey home.

"Why are you staring at my pretty face?" The subject of his hidden amazement asks. "You've never been one to appreciate beauty Mr Brekker. If you did you'd have commented on my lovely violet wax seals at least once." He fights the urge to roll his eyes at that. The wax seals were the least interesting thing about the letters. He usually ripped them open like a mad man, clawing for the content inside and reading it as if it were going to disappear before he could get to the, 'fondly, Nikolai Lantsov' at the end.

"I have more interest in the contents inside."

At that the King does roll his eyes, "Oh yes, the ever so interesting reports about dock lookouts and safe grisha arrivals."

"It's my business."

"Mhm" Is all the blonde has to say.

They step onto the docks, and the tap of his cane, louder, more prominent on the wood, rings slightly in his ears. It's a comforting sound. One he has come to rely on to keep him steady. Especially when there's a king walking in stride with him, a king who kind of looks like the sun just before it disappears over the horizon. A king who scents his letters with lavender because he wants people to know calmness. A king who has never touched him but always stands close enough that he can feel the heat of him.

He recognizes the marker that tells him they're in the right place and then he motions for Nikolai to stay behind him. "Its small so we'll have to be close together." He says quietly.

"Are you okay with that?" The question is so gentle, so full of worry it almost buckles his knees.

"I'll manage."

"Kaz," He sounds hesitant, he sounds worried. "You don't have to force yourself to do something for me."

"I'm not, now come on before it disappears." And then they're stepping into an alcove only slightly bigger than a coffin and they're so close and there's so little air. But still Nikolai is not touching him and the leather of Kaz's gloves is warm against his skin. There is no part if him exposed to the elements, except his face. He takes one breath, takes two. The king is looking at him with concern, it is swimming in his features.

"Look up." Together they tilt their heads, and as the weak sunlight, bogged by rain, sinks to the floor the gems buried in the stones of the roof above them come ablaze. Crimson reds, and sapphire blues, and forest greens, and golden yellows. The light fractures and morphs and dances around them, like coloured stars.

He had discovered this wonder in a burning rage, trailing blood down the docks. He'd beaten up a man who betrayed their gang- dirty work for the boss- but half way down the docks he'd thought he was being followed and he slipped into this little alcove. He comes back every chance he gets.

"This is—" For once King Nikolai Lantsov is speechless. "How did you even find such a thing?" The hood had fallen off his head when he looked up so every angle of his face is on sharp display. The miserable lighting only made him more golden as if he was defying the weather simply by existing. And the gemstones reflected in his eyes, turning them every shade of rare rainbow. One of three Kaz had ever seen in Ketterdam.

He just raises a brow. "We should be getting back, I'm sure they've already sounded the alarm."

The blonde snorts, "They're used to it by now."

"Oh you sneak off to visit all your friends?" They step out carefully, making sure not to disturb the structure or get caught in the act.

"Feeling less special?"

"Wondering if maybe you should pay your guards more."

They bicker all the way back, about everything, trading wit and meaningless insults in equal measure. Kaz insists on dropping Nikolai off at his lodgings and Nikolai insists he doesn't have to despite leading them towards the building he's staying in. When they finally arrive, it is with a sense of longing for more that settles between them. More time, more laughter, more traded quips, just more.

"Goodbye Mr Brekker." The King bows his head.

"Nikolai." He nods.

"Come visit me in Ravka soon." It's the line he prints in every letter, no matter how far apart their replies are, or how many other things they have going on. Kaz never acknowledges it. He won't put that kind of hope into them. He must stay here. He must work.

But today, with happiness bubbling under his skin, he cant help but let loose a small smile and a dangerous promise. "I'll try."

And fading under the bustle of people is a small golden plaque on the floor of the alcove. "To those we love, and love unconditionally." A bigger promise, one that has lasted through time itself.

"That's all we can do Kaz," Nikolai smiles. "We try."

[cosplaydude637]

Chapter 10: Knowledge and new friends

Hours later the group of Parabatai returned to the institute, their heads hanging low. Izzy was running up to them as they walked in but draw up short as she sees them. Running up next to her came Xander and Ruthie. Seeing their face they all went ghost white.

“What happened?” Ruthie asked?

“We failed…” Angelique sighs. Jace and Mekyle punch the wall they were each standing next to. This made Clary jump a little. Alec walked over and placed his hand on Jace’s shoulder.

“Hurting yourself is not going to do us any good. We need to find the Prince of hell and send him back,” Alec says.

“Or kill him!” Simon snaps

“We will make this right. We are Shadowhunters,” Izzy says, offering them all a warm smile.

“Plus we got a leg up on Sinara now,” Ruthie says with a bright smile.

Jace worlds around and glares at her. This makes Ruthie cringe back, losing her smiles. “A leg up! A leg up! How the hell is letting a prince of hell free into our world a Damn leg up newbie!”

Xander steps in front of Ruthie and right into Jace’s face. “I respect that you're our institute head and I know you could most likely kill me six ways from Sunday but I won’t let any member of my squad be talked to like that!”

Jace’s face goes red and he balls up his fist and starts to swing at the young Shadowhunter when faster than anyone could blink Alec has grabbed Jace by the arms and was halling him back. Jace was fighting Alec the whole way. Xander however did not move from in front of his teammate.

Clary quickly got into Jace’s face and glared at him. “Jace knock it off. They were not there they don’t know what happened plus let’s see what this leg up Ruthie is talking about really is.”

Jace goes limp in Alec’s arms, his face Softening. Clary turns and looks at Xander and Ruthie. “Ok guys, what is this leg up you are talking about?”

Ruthie gives out a little squeak and steps out from behind Xander. “Is he going to yell at me again?”

“No honey it’s ok now,” Clary says with a soft voice.

“We have one of the gatekeeper here.” Ruthie slowly replied.

“What?” Simon spoke up and moved in front of Jace, Alec, and Clary.

“We made a trip to the Shadow Market and Learned. That an old friend of mine is one of the gatekeepers.” Izzy explained.

“You know a really old Shadowhunter?” Mekyle asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, she is a downworlder.” She replays

“Huh,” the group of Parabatai all looked very dumbfounded.

Izzy leads them to the infirmary with Xander and Ruthie at each side of her. Cassandra was laying in one of the beds, her right arm was wrapped in bandages. She slowly set up her eyes flicking yellow like a dog.

“Guys this is Cassandra Willows she is a warlock,” Izzy says and points to Cass.

“Sup guys great place you got here,” Cass says with a cheerful voice. Ruthie walks over and looks at the bandages and shakes her head and starts unwrapping the bandages and points to Xander then to the cabinet that has the clean new bandages. “Sorry, Doc the wound started itching.”

“You're healing fast and all but I want you to keep this clean and wrapped,” Ruthie orders her as Xander hands her the new bandages. Ruthie starts wrapping Cass’s arm again.

“Push little thing ant she?” Cass says with a giggle.

“You have no idea.” Xander, Mekyle and Angelique say in unison.

Alec walks over to Cass and puts his hand out. “Hello, Cassandra, I am Alec Bane-Lightwood, Console of the Clave.” Cass blinked and shocked his hand with a look of duda I know who you are. “We understand you are one of the Gatekeepers. What gate do you look over and where is it?”

This made Cass go white and her eyes darted around the room mental mapping a way out of the room. Right as she was about to throw the blanket off and head for the exit. Xander lad a hand on her shoulder and smiles at her.

“Trust us Cass, we want to keep all the Gates safe.” He says and ameetly Cass softens and looks back at Alec.

“I guard over the gate of Gluttony.” Cass answers but was cut off by Simon before she could finish

“The Gate of what?” Simon asks

“The Gate of Gluttony you know like the sin,” Cass states coldly looking at Simon. “You do know what the 9 circles of hell are, don’t you?” Everyone turns to Simon and he just stands there looking confused.

“You mean like the Anime?” He asks.

“No you nerd the Book!” Jace snaps.

“It’s the same thing,” Simon mutters.

“The gate here in New York is Limbo. Seeing as New York was the place where other countries came to the U.S. Hersheypark of Pennsylvania sits the Gate of Gluttony.” Cass says, laying one of her hands on top of Xander’s.

“Why there?” Angelique asks

“Most sites of the gates have some ties to what gate is belt there. Gluttony is simple with a theme park.” Cass answers, trying to sit up on the side of the bad. Xander held his hand out to her and she smiled and blushed, taking his hand. “I will take you to the gate. If this Sinara wants to open my gate she has got one hell of a fight on her hands.”

“We can’t all go,” Alec says

“And why not?” Izzy asks.

“We need to keep A group of Shadowhunters here so that New York stays safe” Alec explains

“He is right, we can’t leave New York unprotected,” Clary adds.

As the group tried to decide who was going and who was staying. A ring from the Institute doorbell came. Jace, Alec, Clary, and Angelique break away to go answer the door. Standing at the door when Jace opened it was Bat the local werewolf clans secant in command. Alec gave him a very odd look. “Bat what are you doing here?”

“Is Maia here?” He barks out.

“Huh?” Jace says

“Are all you Shadowhunter stuped or death? Where is Maia” Bat snaps out his eyes glowing yellow.

“Stand down Lykin. Don’t make me put you down!” Jace yells out moving into Bat’s personal space.

“Like to see you try. No one to stop me this time blondy.” Bat growls low in his through.

Before Alec could move in between the two men Angelique was already there pushing them apart. In a very Com and even voice, she speaks to them “ok guys this is not the time and remember we are at peace here. Bat, Maia is not here, she has not been here. Jace, he is only worried about this alpha.”

Bat looks down at the small hand that was on his chest pushing him away from Jace and he starts to chuckle. “Your one brave little girl.”

“She is right though. Bat you have not heard from Maia?” Alec asks.

Bat steps away and ruffles Angelique’s hair. “No she was sent to meet with you and the other members of the Alliance and she never came back.”

“That was weeks ago,” Alec says in shock and a tinge of panic in his voice.

“I know after a few days I thought it was odd but it’s Maia and she does as she wants. After all, she is the Alpha. But after a week it’s not normal.” Bat explains.

“We need to look into this.” Angelique states.

“Ok, I want you to put together a team and look into this Angelique.” Alec orders.

“Me?!?!?” Angelique shouts.

“Yes you, I need to stay here and deal with clave business and the rest will be going with Cass,” Alec says.

“Xander should lead then,” Angelique says.

“There is no way he is not going to go with Cass,” Clay says.

“Oh, you got that too.” Jace chimes in clary smiles and nods.

“This is your mission Angelique as order by your Console.” Alec orders again. This time Angelique just nods. Bat looks at Alec and Angelique. “Bat return to the pack and Angelique will come to you with her team,” Alec adds.

“Ok see you soon Shadowhunter,” Bat says and bonds down the steers.

All the Shadowhunters and Magnus, who had portaled to the institute a few minutes ago now sit around a huge round table in the war room. Alec leads the meeting deciding who is going on what mission and agreeing with the Shadowhunters Angelique picked to take on hers.

Angelique chose Mekyle and Ruthie for her mission Simon and Izzy were picked by Alec to back them up. This leaves Jace, Clary, Xander, and Cass going to the gate.

“We have one more idam we need to deal with,” Alec announces.

“We do?” Simon asks puzzled.

“Yes the names of are Young Shadowhunters,”

“Oh yes, the last name ceremony.” Magnus snickers. Alec shouts him a living eye roll.

“Anyway Xander, Angelique and Mekyle have you chosen your Shadowhunter name?”

Xander stands up. “I have out of respect and honor for my Headmaster and her amazing Daughter. I like to become a Fairchild.” He looks over at Clary and she gives him a small nod.

Alec smiles seeing this. “So be it, welcome Xander Fairchild.” Xander smiles and sits back down. “Angelique, Mekyle, have you?”

“Yes I would like Waterheart.” Angelique says standing up. Mekyle jumps up next to her.

“This was not an easy choice for me but if you would allow. I like to be Mekyle WolfScar.”

Alec gives them a soft smile. “Welcome Angelique WaterHeart and Mekyle WolfScar.”

With the teams assigned they split up and head off to get what gear that they would need and even a little sleep if they could before heading off. This gave the couples some time to be alone leaving the Newbies and Cass to find something to pass their time with if they don’t want to sleep.

Angelique and Ruthie decided they would sleep in the same room for the night so they could talk about the mission and some boys they liked back at the academy. Mekyle was not going to sleep at all so he headed up to the Training Room to punch the bag a little and work on his dagger throws. This left Xander alone with Cass.

Xander leads Cass to the common room where the TV was playing Ghosthunters on the Discovery channel. “I know now that I am a Shadowhunter. I have been rewatching them and the Taps crow came really close a few times to finding a real ghost. I wonder if one of them is related to the Herondales?” Xander says.

“I am a bit shocked to see a TV at all in an Institute,” Cass replies.

“Ya most are still old-fashioned but Clary and Simon need their Anime, is what i got told,” Xander explained.

“Oh man, I love me some Death Note.” Cass giggled.

“You have the cutest laugh, Hold on did you say you like Death Note,” Xander says looking a little flushed. Cass just smiles and winks at him as Xander turns a bright red.

[i-do-trash-fanfictions]

Thera's Journal Entry #61

(This one isn't as good as the others, but at least I posted something.)

I flipped a dagger of light in my hand. I sat at the base of a tree, under the shade, as Crow stood in the clearing in front of me, showing off by shooting the painted targets on the trees.

It was nice, being in the sunlight again.

Crow finished. He had hit a few bulls eyes, but a few did not quite make it. They were close though, so I had to give him some credit.

"Alright. Your turn." He said, walking back to me as he tucked his gun into his holster.

I stood up and unsheathed the Ace of Spades. I didn't bring it out to the field a whole lot, but I still brought it out to practice every now and then. I spun quickly, shooting each target. Every bullet hit its mark, the red circle in the center, in just a quick minute.

"Show off," Crow muttered.

I only shrugged and went over to him, my hand held out.

Crow sighed and deposited thirty glimmer, which I put away into my pocket. We had been going for quite some time and had a bet over who would hit the most bullseyes.

"Come on. Let's go for a walk." I suggested as I slid my gun into my holster and nodded into the forest.

Crow caught up to me and we walked side by side. Eventually, he reached over and took my hand. He seemed nervous, though I could tell he was trying to hide it.

"No one's out here if that's what you're worried about," I told him.

"I feel like someone is out here." He said. "I know it sounds crazy when you say it aloud, but it's just that feeling that I'm being watched. That we're being watched."

"No one ever really goes out here. I think we're alright."

"I sure hope so."

We walked for a while after that, until suddenly Crow stopped. Glint appeared after sensing his Guardian's worry.

"What? What is it?" I asked, looking around as one hand reached to my hand canon.

Crow was staring off into a part of the forest. Finally, he said something. "There." He pointed. "Someone's over there, sitting on that rock."

"A Guardian?" I asked.

"They have a cloak, so maybe it's a hunter."

"Do you have your mask?"

"No. I left it on your ship."

"Stay here."

I let go of his hand and walked over to the person. They never once turned around when I approached.

"Hello. I'm a Guardian from the Last City. Who are you and what are you doing out here?"

"I call myself the Ranger nowadays. And as you can see, I'm sitting on a rock."

The person Rouge had told me about.

"Why are you sitting on a rock?"

"It's a nice rock. High up too. And if you stare out there," They pointed. "You can watch a few squirrels while they get their breakfast. Or lunch. Or maybe brunch."

I stared at them. They had a helmet on so I couldn't make out any features.

"I hope I'm not being annoying. I don't mean to be. Just here to enjoy the view."

"One of my friends. They saw you out here before."

"Ah, right. Rouge, I think her name was. I don't think she liked me very much, with me being on her terrain and all. I left pretty quickly after she went off. She was a bit scary."

"Rouge can be sometimes. But what are you really doing out here? And are you a Guardian? If so, why aren't you going to the Last City?"

"I'm only out here to enjoy some scenery, as I was saying before. And I do still consider myself to be a hunter."

"You didn't answer my last question."

"I don't want to."

"Alright then," I said with a sigh.

"Hey, aren't the people working with the Fallen now? Mithraks and his gang?" The Ranger asked.

"Yes. How did you know that?"

"Just do. Hey, found a skiff way back there. Crashed." They told me, standing up and gesturing to another part in the forest. "Down below a cliff. You and your buddy might wanna check it out. I best get goin. Ain't gonna do me much good to stick around here. Whatever shot down that skiff might still be lurkin around." They jumped off their rock.

I looked towards where they had pointed, and sure enough, I could make out a bit of smoke coming from that area. I went to turn towards the Ranger again, but they were gone. I ran back to get Crow.

"It was this person called the Ranger. They said there's a Fallen skiff back there. We should check it out."

"Can we trust them?"

"Not sure, but I know a friend who's met them before, and they seemed friendly enough."

We began our way towards the smoke from the skiff, then leapt down the cliff, doing another jump just before we hit the ground as to not break our legs. Crow started to run towards it and knelt down. I walked up behind him. Many dead Fallen littered the ground around us. A few were burned from where the fire from the ship had enveloped them.

But many, many were around the area, as if they had begun to run. They had not died from the crash, but something else.

I went to one and rolled it onto its back. I gasped as tears welled in my eyes. Clutched in its arms was a child, also dead. Both were from bullets in their heads.

I didn't realize Crow was behind me until I heard him mutter a curse, and then stomp off. We both knew it had been Guardians who did this. He was going off to say more choice words, and he didn't want me to hear.

"Sometimes I wonder if the Guardians are even good guys, Scout," I said to my Ghost.

He gave a sad whirr. "I can't believe it was Guardians who did this. If I could, I would say anything to give us the benefit of the doubt, but it is far too obvious. No one else would be around here to attack them except maybe other fallen, but I highly doubt they would attack their own kind. Many Guardians do fly their jumpships out here from time to time. That is probably how they shot the skiff down." He spoke solemnly.

"Thera? Thera come here!" I heard Crow say with a sense of urgency in his voice.

I ran over to him. He stood, holding something in his arms.

"Look." He turned it over to me and I peered at it.

Four tiny eyes peered right back.

"Oh," I looked around and spotted two dead Eliksni, very close to each other. "Oh, no. The poor thing."

"What will we do? We can't leave it out here." He stated, staring at me as he waited for an answer.

"No, of course not. Here, let me see it." Crow handed the hatchling to me and I held it in my arms.

"I have a friend. An Eliksni of House Light who already had a child of her own. Trildir. We can go to her."

Crow scouted around for a bit, with the hope there may be other survivors. I went to the ship, and he came soon after. I handed him the child as I took control of the Queen of Hearts. In no time, we had returned to the Last City, covered still in darkness.

We transmitted to the Annex and (after Crow put on his mask, just in case) then went to the hidden area of the City where the Eliksni stayed. I walked past many Fallen and went straight to Trildir's home. It had changed since I had last been there. We had visited many times in the past few days.

A banner with the House Light symbol hung on the wall, and there was a nice carpet on the floor. It was only a single room, and a cot was in one corner, with a nest of blankets on a crate. For Ralis, I was guessing.

Trildir was in there, luckily, and was startled when we arrived.

She took a single glance at the child in Crow's arms and motioned to the futon in the room. Trildir then pulled a curtain to close of the doorway from prying eyes.

"Where did you find her?" She asked immediately. Crow passed the hatchling to me.

"You- you wouldn't want to know."

"I do. Yes, I do."

I sighed. "A skiff, shot down from the sky. All the other Eliksni were dead. She's the only survivor."

"I do not mean to seem... oh, what is the word?" She clicked for a moment. "Rude. But, was it light-bearers?"

I sadly nodded. "It could be no one else. And I have no idea which ones did it either, otherwise, I would be going after them right about now."

"I want to believe that someday we Eliksni and you can live in peace, but Guardians such as those make it so hard to do. Here, let me see the child." Trildir held out her top two arms and I put the child in them.

"Yes, definitely a girl." The hatchling clicked at her. "And most likely hungry."

Trildir went over to a shelf and produced what looked like a meat scrap. The child ate it quickly and Trildir gave her a few more.

"I will take care of her." Said Trildir with a few clicks.

"It won't be a problem? You already have one child-"

"I know of mateless mothers like myself who have six hatchlings. I believe I can handle two."

Trildir's mate had been one of the Fallen to die when their skiff crashed.

"Thank you," I said to her.

Trildir began to give the hatchling a liquid I could not name.

"She will need a name. Would you like to pick one?" She asked, looking at Crow and I.

"Um, I don't know of any Eliksni names," I told her. I didn't want to pick out a name that would seem silly to the other Eliksni.

"You can choose human names. Misraakell's daughter was named after an old friend of his, an awoken."

I thought for a moment. I looked at Crow to see if he would suggest anything but he only shrugged. I turned back to Trildir.

"Would Sora be a good name?" I asked.

"Yes, I think it would suit her well."

Sora had fallen asleep in Trildir's arms, so she laid her in the crib of blankets to rest. Then she went back to Crow and I.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but where is Ralis?" I asked her.

"Oh, she is with a sister of mine. She does not have a mate of her own but loves hatchlings. She will gladly take care of any if it is needed." Trildir explained. Her gaze shifted to Crow. "You have not introduced me to your friend." She stated. "I am Trildir, but I am sure Thera has already told you this."

"My name is Crow." He introduced himself.

"It is very nice to meet you."

A dreg suddenly pulled back the curtain and chattered something in Eliksni. Trildir spoke back, and the dreg left. She then turned her attention back to the two of us.

"Sora will be in good hands. Because of your visit, I have forgotten what I was doing. I must return to my job, and I will leave Sora with my sister and Ralis. Thank you for coming to see me."

Trildir took Sora in her arms and went out of her home.

"I know she'll be safe," I told Crow as we stood up.

"I like her." He stated.

"She's very kind, and not like the rest of the Eliksni. She isn't afraid of Guardians."

"Crow, Crow where are you? Why are you not in the H.E.L.M?" Came from Crow's comlink.

"Is that Osiris? Oh sh-" I exclaimed.

"You're with Thera aren't you? Get back to the H.E.L.M, now."

"Yes, I'm headed there now," Crow responded, giving me a look. We both knew we were in for it.

"And bring Thera too. If she keeps sneaking you out-"

Crow shut off his coms.

"You're going to get in more trouble for that," I said with a laugh.

"We both are. Now let's go so we can get that lecture over with."

[klbwriting]

Pirate’s Heart - Chapter 11

Ruin My Life

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz/female!Reader

Summary: hearts are found and a new problem arises

Notes: so now you can see why I gave these two a catch phrase, just so a pop song worked out for me

Taglist:  @sixofshadowandbone​​ @thedelusionreaderbitch​​ @itsemy01​​ @angelicdanvers​​ @marinettepotterandplagg​​ @screen-to-stage​​ @aysegust​​ @sagewrites111​​ @lilyoflower​​ @madeofsilkandsteel​​​ @starjane312​​​ @spawn0fsatan​​​ @myalupinblack​​​ @ameliathackray​​​ @moondustmarauder​​​ @lizcookie1

I want you to ruin my life You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah I want you to fuck up my nights, yeah Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah I want you to bring it all on If you make it all wrong, then I'll make it all right

When Kaz woke up he panicked for moment.  The room around him was not his.  It was messier than he would ever keep his quarters, papers strewn about, hand drawn pictures on the walls.  He was in a bed larger than his own, dark sheets and a heavy blanket over him.  He sat up quick and realized that this must be Y/N's cabin.  He stood slowly, feeling like someone had beat him with a pipe.  His mind was foggy but he vaguely remembered holding Y/N close and falling out a window into the sea.  Rollins's office, Nina betrayed him, he betrayed Y/N, she had still saved him.  He groaned as he stood, grabbing for his cane, his leg on fire.  He was about to head up above deck when the door opened and Y/N came in.  

"O, you're awake, good this won't get cold then," she said.  Her voice triggered another memory from the previous night.  I love you Kaz she had said.  She loved him.  Was it enough for her to get her heart back?  Was his love enough for that?  He swallowed hard and looked at what she was carrying, breakfast, eggs, a biscuit with some kind of gravy, bacon.  Where did this all come from? "Where did you get all this?" he asked.  She set the tray on her desk and motioned for him to sit.  He did gingerly and started to eat, his stomach feeling empty entirely.  

"I keep some extras on the ship, some luxuries in case we get new girls.  Usually they'd only been fed gruel or broth, a good meal makes them feel welcome," she explained, sitting on her bed.  She sat quietly by as he ate, just watching him.  She was so relieved that the fall didn't seriously hurt him.  After she woke she had had her medic come in and do a quick exam, nothing invasive, just enough to make sure he wasn't bleeding internally.  She also had made sure to send a small crew out to find his ship.  She was still waiting on word from them.  "How much does it hurt?"

"I'm pretty sure hitting the cobbles from that height feels better than this," he said, pushing the empty plate away.  "You saved my life last night."

"Well, my girl got you into that mess, I wasn't going to leave you all there" she said.  She looked at him behind her desk and shook her head.  He looked amazing.  She didn't care if he restored he heart or not, he was her love and that's all she cared about.

"So you said you loved me last night," he said, standing up and moving to sit beside her.  She nodded.

"I did," she answered.  They weren't looking at each other but she felt his hand sliding over hers gently.  

" Y/N, I don't know if what I feel is enough..." he said.  She held up her hand.  

"I don't care Kaz, I love you.  “I don't know if my heart will choose you to be my true love but my soul does.  I choose you, my mind, my soul, my very being chooses you.  Fuck my heart, who cares?  I want you to ruin my life, I want you to fuck up every night for the rest of my life," she said, finally looking at him.  As soon as she faced him he gripped her face and kissed her softly.  His lips were unpracticed but warm and so inviting.  After a few moments she felt a pain in her chest.  She doubled over, pulling back from Kaz and gripping her chest as she fell to the floor.  She groaned as she felt something beat, felt a pulse, felt absolutely everything.  

" Y/N?" Kaz asked, reaching out and touching her back.  She grabbed onto his hand and pressed it to her chest.  He stared, feeling her heartbeat against his hand.  She took a deep breathe, sitting back against the bed, looking at him.  "Well that is a declaration of love if I ever saw one."

"I knew it was you, knew that first time I saw you when you finally grew up.  I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize that I got to choose  my true love," she said.  Kaz just pulled her back to him for a  moment, kissing her head.  

"We can't stay here can we?" he asked.  She shook her head.  

"I sent a message out about the Crow, I'm trying to find it.  If Rollins really has a new fighter we're going to need to sink that think quick before it can sink us," she said.  "Plus, everyone thinks you might be dead."

"Out there..."

"Out there we can be whatever you want."

"I want to be careful.  Rollins seems to think we are just professionally linked still, we should keep it that way.  He thinks we're just working together to find the sea witch..."

"Which he knows we found?"

"I'm sorry," he said.  She looked at him and touched his still bruised face gently.  "But yes, he knows we have the gem, he said if he finds us he will send his entire naval force."  She nodded.  

"I may need to do something drastic then, we can't handle all of the ships in the navy with just our vessels and this gem on me," she said.  Kaz frowned.

"What else could you do?" he asked.

"Fuse the gem to my body, completely take its power," she said.  "Its what the sea witches did to restore the reef."  Kaz looked at her.  No, that could not possibly be what she was thinking.

"They were destroyed," he said.  She nodded.

"I know, but I won't let anything happen to you or my crew, I will protect you all with my life if I have to," she said.  "I need you on my side about this."  Kaz turned his eyes to the ground before turning to look at her.  

"Please, lets just try with our ships first," he said.  He couldn't imagine letting her do this without trying something else first.  He had already lost his parents, his brother, his childhood, what else would have to sacrifice to the sea before it had its fill?  

"We can try, but we have to find your ship first," she said.  She stood slowly, offering her hand to him.  He took it and stood.  "We have to get out there."  

"Before we go," he said softly, turning her face him, lips finding hers.  He nodded then for her to lead.  

On deck the rest of the crew waited, all of them cheering when Kaz emerged.  He almost smiled but waved them down, trying to look annoyed.  He was glad his people were safe, he could only hope the rest of the crew was safe too, wherever they were.   Y/N leaned on the side of the ship, still rubbing her chest.  Kaz realized a second too late, not able to push her hand away before Nina noticed.

" Y/N...something bothering you?" she asked.   Y/N removed her hand and blushed a little.  "O my God, it was Kaz!"  Kaz gave one loud bang from his cane on the floor and sent Nina a withering look to shut her up.  Nina closed her mouth, looking scared.  She should be, Kaz was still livid with her, if she wasn't so important to Y/N he would've killed her.  

"Is the messenger back yet?" Y/N asked, moving in front of Kaz to block him from even looking at Nina.  The others shook their heads.  "We are going to try to take out this new fighter Rollins says he has using both the Crow and the Menagerie.  It will be hard but we need to do something, Rollins has finally had it with us and has made us enemy number one to the navy."  She would leave out the part about fusing the gem to her body.  That was something private between her and Kaz for now, she wouldn't worry the others about it.  A young woman hurried over to the group, handing Y/N a piece of parchment.  She took it and frowned, reading it over twice to make sure she was seeing this correctly.  

"Where's the Crow?" Kaz asked.  

"They've abandoned it near Pirate Island," she said.  "This is clearly a trap...that new fighter is going to be there.  How much tonic do we still have?"

  "3," Inej answered.   Y/N nodded.  

"We'll need to go under them," she said.  She looked at Kaz.  "I'll need you to lead these girls as a distraction until we can take the ship and free the crew and join the fight."  

"Of course, I will keep Nina and Inej with me, you take my crew, they will be helpful against the military assholes," he said.  She agreed.  

"Raise the sails, its time to spring this trap."