#why would he even be allowed back after he previously left this specific station due to multiple complaints against him like huh??

[harringtiddy]

I need fics to fix this and I need them now

[elenathehun]

Watching the Clone Wars, part 7

Well, this is a better batch of episodes than last time, solely due to not having to actually skip an episode because it was too awful to watch.  With that said, click on keep reading to see reviews of "Brain Invaders", "Grievous Intrigue", "The Deserter", "Lightsaber Lost", "The Mandalore Plot", "Voyage of Temptation", and "Duchess of Mandalore".

"Brain Invaders" (2x08)

I'd rate this as above-average.  I am not really into horror as a genre, as I previously noted, so I was pretty grossed out by the brain worms.  However, it was a pretty nice Ahsoka and Barriss episode, although I think it's a bit weird that four Jedi Knights/Masters are necessary to interrogate Poggle. 

Anyway, it's not an episode of The Clone Wars without some unexpected graphic clone violence.  I don't blame Ahsoka or Barris for killing poor Trap - I even think this was well-written and conveyed the desperation of their situation well - but good god, it was startling.  Also tense: that final approach to the medical station.

Not good: Kit Fisto entering a ship that's infested with brain worms with no PPE.  C'mon, man, I know your headtails are majestic, but keep it covered up!  Also not super great: Anakin and Ahsoka's little talk at then end.  A lot of their interaction just feels forced.  I honestly feel like this should have been a dialogue of some kind between Ahsoka and Barriss.

"Grievous Intrigue" (2x09)

Sort of a meh episode.  I understand Eeth Koth is a bit of a bad-ass in the comics, and that does sort of carry over in this episode, but mostly it just seems like a vehicle for various Jedi Masters to quip while crossing blades with this somewhat delightful murder-cyborg.  Obi-Wan gives a furious monologue to Grievous, which rings a bit hollow since the clone army has had precious little screen-time (at least relatively speaking) to exhibit their loyalty or spirit.

Shout-out to Cody and those 212th soldiers dog-piling Grievous.  If only you'd had a lightsaber, Cody, you probably could have killed him right then and there.  And if the writers let you and your fellows out of the background more often, Obi-Wan's speech would have rung more true at the time this episode aired.

"The Deserter" (2x10)

I struggled with accurately summarizing why this episode left me cold.  After all, the focus is split between Rex and the pursuit of Grievous, and I love most of the clone-centric episodes I've seen thus far.  But after some thought, I realized this episode felt like the culmination of a character arc that never actually occurred for Rex, at least on-screen.  After all, this episode is only the third time he's been promoted to something more than the token Clone Character Who Doesn't Die At The End - the previous two episodes I thought were legitimately Rex-centric were Season One's "Rookies" and "The Hidden Enemy".  We still barely know the guy, but in this episode we watch him wrestle with doubt about his role and reason for existence when faced with a fellow clone who's made radically different choices than he has, before triumphantly stating his place is with the army.  This feels like it would be a great episode, if only we were more attached to the character. Writers have to build-up to those kind of moments, or they ring false.

Anyway, is it just me or is Obi-Wan getting a little angry in this episode?

"Lightsaber Lost" (2x11)

I wasn't expecting much from this episode, but it was actually very good.  Aside from the annoying Cad Bane arc at the beginning of the season, the Ahsoka episodes have been improving a lot this season - possibly because she's been separated from Anakin for a lot of them.  Losing a lightsaber feels like the sort of problem a Padawan might face, and the solution feels like the sort of thing an impatient teenager would resort to.  Tera Sinube is a gem - I am always a sucker for the elderly teaching the next generation, and he does it so well!  The animation was well done too, especially in the chase scenes. 

I've been ragging on TCW for it's lack of interconnectivity between episodes and episode arcs, but this is a stand-alone episode done right: it focuses on what a secondary character (yes, I know she's supposed to be a main character, but she doesn't feel like it quite yet), allows them to learn a lesson that develops their characters in an organic way, and reverberates through future episodes (I hope!).

"The Mandalore Plot", "Voyage of Temptation", and "Duchess of Mandalore" (2x12 -2x14)

Oof.  So, this was the arc that actually made me quit watching TCW the first time around.  I am very lukewarm on Mandalorians in general, so that wasn't great.  But aside from that, and from the well-attested issue of everyone on Mandalore looking like a Storm Front fantasy, this arc exhibits the same structural writing defects the entire show has shown far - and honestly, life is too short to watch bad TV.  At this point, I know this main issue will never be corrected in the entire show run, so I can accept it and push through in the name of completionism and writing research, but at the time I wasn't active in fandom and it was enormously easy to just stop watching and move onto other, better, shows and books.

Now, I thought long and hard about how to review these episodes, but I think it's useful in this case to interview them as a singular block instead of individual episodes.  The story is largely cohesive, if a bit strained. It is essentially Palpatine's PT plot writ small: he wants to take over Mandalore (a reason is never really explicated in the actual story, so who knows why), and he's doing it by essentially creating a false war between the CIS proxies, Death Watch, and the Republic proxy, which is Duchess Satine.  If all goes according to plan, Satine will be shown as ineffectual and unable to rule her people, and the GAR can occupy Mandalore for reasons of "public safety".  This will inflame the Mandalorians, who aren't part of the Republic and don't want to be, and send them rushing in the arms of the CIS-allied Death Watch, starting a cycle of radicalization and violence which will end (at least from Palpatine's POV) with Mandalore firmly in his grasp, and all potential opposition killed in the Civil War he engineered.   

As enormously stupid as the whole plot sounds, it's a valid historical tactic for imperial powers looking to expand.  And that's lead us the the primary flaw of this story: The Jedi are the Bad Guys.  Just ignore the tangled mess of Mandalorian canon, retcons, and expanded universe, past and present - in the show itself, they are presented as a smaller, weaker neighbor-state, and the Jedi are acting as agents of an expansionary military power, interfering with their internal politics specifically for the purpose of a soft invasion.  And that's an interesting story!  But that story is deliberately obfuscated and hobbled because the writers and producers of TCW were and are ever-so-concerned with making the Jedi as sympathetic as possible, even in situations where they shouldn't be.

Part of that hobbling is Satine's character.  Satine is badly written, but she's badly written in a very specific way that has been common to most of the non-CIS political antagonists the show has presented thus far.  Satine's most interesting characteristic is that she doesn't want to involve Mandalore with the war - and who can blame her?  The Republic and the CIS have nothing to offer to her or her people.  The only thing that will happen is the exploitation of Mandalore's natural resources (at best) or the destruction of her people, caught between two Great Powers who obviously don't care for her people's struggle.  That's an interesting character, right?  A POV we haven't seen in this show so far, which has consistently been from the Jedi POV, which is pretty firmly in the CIS = monsters and Republic = assholes (but democratic assholes!) camp.

But it's a POV that is pretty uncomplimentary of the Jedi role in this war, which means Satine must be crippled by an obnoxious belief in pacifism, like the unlikably-written Lurmen in season one, and also weighted down by a personal connection to an avatar of the Republic, like Senator Farr and his "family friendship" with Padme overcoming the fact that his people are starving and getting no support from the Republic.  I have heard people argue that TCW, written as it was in the late 2000s, is reacting against the excesses of the War on Terror.  I am less than convinced, mostly because every single anti-war character is reduced to a flat caricature of an annoying pacifist that can be safely defeated by the ever-so-kind warrior monks in the space of an episode or two before being cast aside for the next adventure. 

Because Satine's motivations are poorly written, her actions don't make a lick of sense. In "The Mandalore Plot", she's clearly escorting Obi-Wan around under duress - but in "Voyage of Temptation", she's apparently going with the Senators willingly to the Coruscant, to essentially beg the Senate to not invade.  Why not write her as an unwilling "guest" of the Republic, invited without recourse to defend her people's sovereignty?  Well, that would show Obi-Wan in a very unflattering light, wouldn't it?  But in "Duchess of Mandalore" she's back to being a prisoner in everything but name, escaping custody to receive an unaltered copy of her dead minister's speech.  

Now, Obi-Wan helps her at that point...but it's clearly due to some poorly-written romantic feelings.  I am not interested in any Padme/Anakin parallels, mostly because I find it incredibly tedious and honestly not helpful in exploring Anakin's Leap into the Dark Side.  This story is a gigantic missed opportunity to show the Jedi (or at least, a representative of the Jedi) wrestle with their roles as avatars of the republic, when the republic is so obviously manufacturing a reason to invade Mandalore.  Palpatine is obviously orchestrating this whole thing, but he still (at this point in the show) requires the consent of the Senate to essentially annex more territory - and the Senate is perfectly happy to give him that consent, by the way.  There is a fantastic story on the Jedi side about the clash of ideals vs realities, and the writers totally side-stepped it.

But pulling the focus out a little further, that has actually been par for the course for most of the Obi-Wan stories of season 2.  He's been consistently more and more irritated about the war as the season has gone on, and made some off-hand comments about the ungratefulness of the Republic populace that, in the hands of a more competent writer, could have been a multi-season character arc about loss of faith in fallible human institutions, which would dovetail pretty well with his characterization in both RotS and ANH.  Instead, his character remains the static wise-cracking Good Guy; Satine is the Designated Love Interest, unable to develop along more interesting and independent lines; and this arc falls deeply flat as a result.  

They're not the only characters who are horribly underwritten.  I mean, here we are at the end of Season 2, and have we yet seen a sympathetic CIS character, or an accounting of how Palpatine was able to take advantage of already extant fractures in the Republic to create a shadowy cabal dedicated to tearing it apart?  No.  It's all war crimes and evil laughter so far.  The Good Guys always win (until they don't), the bad guys are always Very Bad, and there are no shades of gray in this massive galaxy.  Again, ignoring the complicated Mandalorian backstory, Death Watch is extremely under-baked as villains.  There could have been a fascinating interplay between Satine and Pre about their different visions for their people's future, but just as Satine is a flat Pacifist caricature, Pre is a dull Terrorist caricature.

I have to give a special mention to the horrible Love Confession of "Voyage of Temptation".  This is the episode where Satine is written most consistently as Peak Pacifist.  If she had instead been written as anti-war (but not necessarily a philosophical pacifist), her escape from Tal Merrik would have been a great inversion of that trope - and in fact, I thought it was at first, when she "confessed", and then had to make an annoyed face when Obi-Wan didn't immediately play along.  Instead, they played it straight, and I've never felt more simpatico with a villain than when Tal Merrik complained about their timing.  That fact that Satine's "pacifism" is then used as an excuse for Obi-Wan and Satine to hesitate to kill a terrorist, leading Anakin to kill him...like, c'mon.  I get it, the writers want to show his fall to the dark side, you gotta play the ominous theme music, but is this really a particularly evil act by Anakin?  I'm gonna be honest, if a cop or an armed civilian kills a mass shooter, no one is castigating them for doing so, but instead congratulating them for stopping a murderer from killing again.

Final note and the only one that explicitly addresses the Mandalorian elephant in the room: I hate the Darksaber.  Like, I know we all gave KJA shit for the original Darksaber novel, but the fact that Filoni (or Lucas?) repurposed the name for a SPECIAL MANDALORIAN LIGHTSABER fills me with intense rage.  They're fucking gun knights, you coward, stop inserting your weird Arthurian hard-on into my western samurai sci-fi pastiche.

And that's it for this batch of episodes.  Up next: Boba Fett makes his first appearance in our chronological viewing, and we return to Mandalore a second time, much to my sorrow. 

[mobius-prime]

234. Sonic the Hedgehog #166

DON'T. PANIC. I know. It's back. Don't worry too much though - it only lasts for two issues, so even if you detest this AU with all your heart and soul you only have to deal with it for a couple days. To be perfectly honest, I don't actually find the plot of this installment of Mobius 25 Years Later to be that much more interesting than the previous one. I find everyone to be a little too out of character, for one thing. However, it does at the very least provide a bit of closure to a story that was left wiiide open previously, so there's that.

Mobius 25 Years Later (Part One): Tempus Fugit

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley Colors: Jason Jensen

Last time on Mobius 25 Years Later, we left off with the timeline seeming to dissolve and rip itself apart while Sonic went back in time to fix the temporal and spatial instabilities of Mobius. Well, he fixed the threat of time coming to an end all right, but in the process somehow caused the timeline to skew wildly from how it was previously. In this new future, Shadow is a brutal and ruthless dictator, worship of Maria as an angelic guardian figure is officially sanctioned by his government, the Chaotix patrol the streets headed by King Shadow's chief enforcer Knuckles, and perhaps most bizarrely of all, Sally is married to Shadow as his queen. I have to note here that no explanation is given at all for how the timeline could have gotten messed up so badly - like, it doesn't really say anything about Sonic destabilizing specific events in the past, he just did something apparently, and stuff got messed up as a result. I'm personally not a fan at all of the idea of Shadow becoming so brutal like this, because it's just so out of character for who he's shown to become in the games (and in the comics coming up in a few issues), but at the very least there's the potential excuse of oh, well, this is a timeline where he didn't discover his true purpose in life and thus got led astray by darker influences or whatever. Regardless, things are very bad, and now Tails is on the scene, trying to figure out a way to fix it.

You see, he actually is able to remember the old timeline due to some kind of protective armband, and knows that this one isn't right. So he decides to go about recruiting some of his old allies to fix things, first starting with Knuckles. He walks in as Knuckles is instructing Lara-Su in her Guardian abilities, and Knuckles, once he realizes why Tails is here, ushers his daughter out grimly so they can talk alone. Tails tries to get Knuckles to listen to him, explaining that he took measures to protect himself, his wife Mina (remember? They got married in this timeline) and their kids from the time shift, and that he knows that everyone who was near the time machine when it freaked out still has memories of the other timeline. This merely pisses Knuckles off for some reason, and he yells at Tails to get out before he arrests him. Tails leaves the room dejectedly, but Lara-Su cheekily tries to cheer him up outside the door, clearly having overheard everything.

I already like this version of Lara-Su way better than the old one. The old one was weirdly whiny and selfish, while this one is immediately more assertive and ready to jump into action. As this is going on, we move to the dungeons beneath "Castle Mobius," where King Shadow is currently carrying out a rather… rough interrogation of Rotor, who's chained up to a wall. Shadow curtly acknowledges Rotor's strength of will in not "cracking" yet (it's not explained what information exactly he's trying to get out of him, but we can assume it relates to the timeline shift), and tells him he knows he will break eventually and leaves - and who is outside the cell to greet him but Lien-Da? She's apparently the one who captured Rotor for him, and she too remembers the old timeline, thanks to Cobar - we finally find out what she did when she confronted Rotor and Cobar back then!

Yeah, really don't like this version of Shadow. The juxtaposition of worshipping Maria as a gentle protective goddess, and Shadow's use of brutal torture tactics and authoritarianism is kind of… bizarre. A Legion mook runs up with information that Lara-Su has joined up with Tails, and Shadow orders Lien-Da to contact Knuckles to conduct an arrest of the two. Meanwhile, the two in question have managed to find Sonic, bedraggled and sitting next to a bunch of trash in a back alley, looking pretty awful. He, of course, is the same Sonic from the old timeline who went back to "fix" everything, and is horrified at how everything has turned out in this version of the future. It's once again worth noting that he sheds a few tears here, especially because this is around the time Sega started interfering more in the comics to make sure things were portrayed to their liking. There's a sketch version of the below page floating around somewhere showing Sonic crying substantially more than he is in the final product, which honestly, I don't know why Sega felt they had to force the artists to tone it back here, because I think if there's any circumstance where a normally cheerful and stoic person might truly lose it, it's losing their two children forever to the abyss of time.

Lara-Su urges the others to get up so they can go defeat King Shadow and save the day, but a sudden blinding light engulfs them. Sure enough, it's Knuckles, backed by what looks like half of Portal's police force, telling the three of them to surrender immediately as they're under arrest for treason…

The Chaotix Connection

Writer: R. Chacon and Ian Flynn Pencils: J. Axer Colors: Jason Jensen

This story is a bit bizarre - for one, it opens with a shot of Knuckles tied up and apparently coming to after being knocked out, only to immediately pull back a full day to show us what led up to this moment. That's a perfectly legitimate storytelling tactic, but it has to be done right for it to work, dammit, and the execution here is mostly just awkward and confusing. And for another, though someone is listed as the letterer for this story, very little of it is actually hand-lettered - the vast majority of it is machine-lettered. Seriously, out of the dozens and dozens of speech bubbles in this one story, which takes up half the issue's page span, only seven are hand-lettered (yes, I counted). I'm really not sure why this would be, nor why they bothered actually having someone letter only seven speech bubbles in the entire story when a computer was apparently doing that job perfectly well, but oh well. Anyway, here's the rundown - yesterday in Station Square, Rouge (sporting her Heroes getup) was snooping around for any juicy information when she got her hands on a nice little tidbit - namely, that Renfield T. Rodent is back. Remember him?

Aw, it's nice to see Sally and Sonic actually joking around with and teasing each other a bit. Things have been so frosty between them for so long, I forgot how nice it is to just see them being sweet and silly. The next day, Renfield's foreman oversees a delivery of slot machines to the new casino while Renfield himself watches from behind a screen, still sporting his capitalist tycoon grin and definitely seeming very shady as he talks to himself about putting on a grand show with this new scheme. The Chaotix and Rouge all arrive at the venue, and Rouge and Julie-Su nearly come to blows when Rouge insinuates that her only reason for coming is to show Knuckles that she's "gone legit." Knuckles breaks up the fight before it begins, and the group is let in early when they bluff to the guards that Renfield is expecting a meeting with them. They agree to split up and search for anything suspicious, checking in every few minutes to make sure none of them goes missing. Knuckles heads off on his own, and soon discovers an elevator that takes him to a secure room where the foreman is discussing the shipment with the help. When he hears Eggman's name mentioned, Knuckles knows this operation is rigged, so he leaps into action and begins to fight everyone present… alone. Seriously, man, couldn't have waited one whole minute to call in your backup? Speaking of the backup, Mighty in particular has decided it's prudent to check the food given what happened last time, while several of the others go for the slot machines as customers begin to file in.

Gotta love Mighty - no time to test anything scientifically, let's just shove potentially poisoned food into our mouths and see if we pass out! Knuckles, upstairs, finishes punching out the mooks and goes for the foreman, but when his fist makes a clanging noise against his nose he realizes that he's one of Eggman's auto-automatons. Things only get worse when said auto-automaton punches back, knocking him clean out. While the foreman ties him up and calls Renfield, Rouge, Vector, and Espio all check the slots, noticing that people seem to be acting weird while playing them. Sure enough, one glance at a screen later, the three of them are hypnotized as well. Knuckles wakes up with Renfield gloating over him, and naturally the rat immediately launches into a villainous monologue about how Eggman is paying him to use his fake slot machines to scan the brains of the patrons, allowing him to turn that data into a blueprint for what basically amounts to a Terminator. In fact, the whole casino is built on top of a factory that will start spitting out robots the moment the scans upload! Suddenly, the writers realize in horror that they only have two more pages to wrap this plot up, and so they go into overdrive figuring out a way to solve it in this limited amount of space.

I love the idea that Mighty just casually crunched up a whole factory and carried it around with him just to prove a point here. The police show up out of nowhere to arrest a fuming Renfield, and Julie-Su and Mighty explain that they knew something was wrong when Knuckles didn't check in, and even more hilariously, apparently on their way up here they just randomly passed the factory and Mighty was like "Yo, that doesn't fit the décor," hence him crunching it up. The president pops in out of the ether to congratulate the Chaotix on a job well done, and as Julie-Su and Rouge bicker some more, the curtain falls on one of the weirdest and most out of place stories we've experienced in some time. Bravo, Romy and Ian, we've officially learned that when you two collaborate, crap gets bizarre!

[browserbroking331]

When should i buy a new gaming monitor

Gaming Grabs The High Score On Twitter

Twitter is exactly where game publishers, the gaming media, popular game streamers and entertainers, esports leagues, teams, players and commentators interact with their most engaged fans and with one particular yet another. So what's with the lack of inclusion in the gaming globe? In addition to the normally hostile world of desktop and console games (see the GamerGate controversy as just a single example), there is still somewhat of an business perception that females simply never play video games. But, that is far from true - girls are essentially gaming more than ever ahead of, specifically on mobile.

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Why You Really Need (A) GAMING

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Description: This gaming podcast is hosted by a crew of San Francisco developers, formerly of such studios as Telltale Games and Double Fine. It was began simply for fun, where random conversations among the presenters have been recorded and put on the World-wide-web. It really is evolved into a space where the presenters get to talk about a subject they are passionate about, i.e. games - and the result is extremely enjoyable.

[free-hk-blog]

For Basic Human Rights

PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION

Hello all,

Welcome to this page.  If you are on this page, I’m assuming it’s because you managed to get a hold of one of my Free HK Hello Kitty Postcards.

If you haven’t been clued in yet towards all the Hong Kong Protests, this is the page for you.  Unfortunately, due to the language barrier and the lack of media coverage, I’m sure a lot of people haven’t heard about all the things happening in Hong Kong since there is almost no access to it.

To give you a short background of the protests, it all began with an Extradition Bill.  It was first considered when Chan Tong-kai, a Hong Kong man, murdered his pregnant girlfriend, Poon Hiu-Wing in Taiwan. Stuffing her body into a suitcase, then dumping it into the thicket of bushes near a subway station in Taipei.  After doing so he fled back to Hong Kong.  He was then arrested.  However, when authorities tried to prosecute him, they found that they were unable to, due to loopholes in the law. [2]

The Chief Executive of Hong Kong, Carrie Lam, decided to pass a law that would allow anyone who committed a crime in Hong Kong to be extradited to China.  [3] Instead of gaining the support of the people of Hong Kong, it caused concern and fear.  

What does being extradited actually mean?

“Extradition is an act where one jurisdiction delivers a person accused or convicted of committing a crime in another jurisdiction, over to their law enforcement. It is a cooperative law enforcement process between the two jurisdictions and depends on the arrangements made between them.”

This is due to China’s previous dishonesty towards keeping to the One Country two systems agreement with the United Kingdom,   Hong Kong was colonised previously by the British and was handed back to China in July 1st, 1997.  (Before you think that Hong Kong is better off being colonised by the British, there is a whole bit of history behind that and lots of corruption.  After all, Hong Kong was obtained from China in an unjust way.  I’ve put a link below for your to read up on the History of Hong Kong, [1])  China has been trying to make it seem that their One Country two systems method will work through Hong Kong.  However, it is terribly false.  Hong Kong for starters does not even vote for our leader.  Over the years since the hand over, Hong Kong citizens have felt and continue to feel that the mainland is closing in on them in subtle ways.  In fact, they haven’t just been doing that for Hong Kong only, it’s been happening in the west, look how many things are marked “Made In China”.  But, I digress.

Prior to the protests, citizens have previously took to marching on the streets during March and April to protest this corrupt bill.

The citizens of Hong Kong are fearful that it would be used in a corrupt way and would be a gateway for China to extradite and charge anyone in Hong Kong they find that they disagree with.  Hong Kongers took to the streets, (most of them in their teens) protesting the Bill on the 9th of June.  They were peacefully protesting despite being tear gased, being shot at by rubber bullets and pepper sprayed.  However, the police still labelled them as “rioters” rather than “protestors”.  For more information on the Extradition Bill, I will have a set of links beneath this post for you to read. [3][4]

Instead of retracting the bill and throwing it out, Carrie Lam persisted.  Stating in an interview on the 12th of June, “I’ve never once thought that I’ve been doing this against my conscience.  As I’ve said, we firmly believe we have been doing the right thing from the beginning.  It’s not only responsible to the victim’s family.  Now I can only say being responsible, I cannot promise the victim’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Poon, that the suspect that murdered their daughter can be brought to justice.  If young people have taken action, and you don’t give them what you want, what then?  To use a metaphor, I’m a mother too, I have two sons.  If I let him have his way every time my son acts this way, I believe we will have a good relationship in the short term.  But if I indulge in his wayward behaviour, he might regret it after he grows up.  He will then ask me, “Mum, why didn’t you remind me back then?”  To say I have sold out Hong Kong.  How could I have?  I grew up here with all other HongKongers.  My love for this place has prompted me to make many personal sacrifices.” [5][6]

Watch the full video of the interview here

This caused anger through Hong Kong and specifically struck a chord with mothers in Hong Kong more angry as she basically compared the teenagers that are there to protest the Extradition Bill - peacefully, might I add - to children who are just whining, or acting out.  This caused mothers to organise a march for themselves.  However, no one would expect the event that would transpire on the 15th of June.

15th June

His name was Marco Leung.

He was only 35, described as “sunshine” by all friends and family and that he did charity work in his spare time.  And all in all, a good guy.

When Carrie Lam proposed that she was suspending the bill on the 15th of June, rather than withdrawing the bill, Marco Leung Ling-Kit climbed the elevated podium on the rooftop of Pacific Place, a shopping centre in Admiralty at 4:30 pm.  Wearing a yellow raincoat with the words “Brutal police are cold-blooded” and “Carrie Lam is killing Hong Kong” in Chinese written on the back, he hung a banner on the scaffolding with several anti-extradition slogans.  After a five-hour standoff, during which police officers and Democratic Party legislator Roy Kwong attempted to talk him down, Leung jumped to his death, missing an inflatable cushion set up by firefighters.  This fed the anger of the Hong Kong citizens and even more showed up to the protests on the 16th.  Everyone was devastated by the suicide and hoped that there will not be another tragedy like this again.  From then on, the yellow raincoat became a symbol of the protests.

An interview later with Marco Leung’s parents revealed that his mother still made breakfast for him, stating “We still pretend he’s with us, it feels as though he hasn’t left us at all.”  [7][8]

While he is being hailed a hero and a martyr, it makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable, because he didn’t do it for everyone else, he did it because he couldn’t bare to see the future where China has rule over Hong Kong.  When this happened, it devastated me.  However, this was only just the start of the suicides.  I will warn you if you are prone to suicidal thoughts or self harm, please be advised that further suicides will be mentioned.  Also, I would like to add that suicide is never the way to resolve things, even if you don’t believe you will be missed, you will be.

On the 29th of June, a 21 year old university student, Lo Hiu-Yan, jumped to her death stating “I would use my little life as a sacrifice to fulfil the wishes of two million people, but please press on.” in her final message written on the wall.  Then on the 30th of June, just a day later, Zhita Wu, 29, left a heartbreaking message on Facebook, asking Hong Kong to “Add oil”, a common phrase to cheer on others, much like adding fuel to an engine.  And that she won’t be at the July 1st protest because she felt like there was no tomorrow and that she was tired and didn’t want to fight for tomorrow anymore.  [9][10]

You would have thought that by the end of the month, Carrie Lam would reconsider because of these suicides, but sadly, that is not to be.  As I check the Wikipedia page for Hong Kong Protests 2019, it says that there are at least 10 deaths, most of them suspected to be suicides. [11] [12] [14][15]

1st July

As I have mentioned before, 1st of July is the day Hong Kong was handed back to China.  Many took to the streets to continue protesting this bill.  However, Carrie Lam ignored the protests and ignored the violence caused by the police.  As a result, the police continued to become violent and protesters were just being labelled as “rioters”.

As police brutality escalated, citizens got more and more enraged by the police.  However, there are also some citizens that actually support the police and are against the protesters.  Many started showing their support for the police by wearing blue t-shirts.  Despite this, many were still against the police.  [13]

Escalation in violence

July 21st, in my opinion, started the escalation of violence on both the protestors and police’s part. ��

A group of white clad men, suspected to be triad members, started to indiscriminately attack people in the Yuen Long MTR Station.  (MTR is the name of Hong Kong’s subway system).  Yes, even people that were just getting home from work or a day out were attacked.  Police took over 30 minutes to even respond to the incident.  A protest was organised, but the police tried to ban it.  The protestors defied the ban and went to Yuen Long to protest, saying that they were “Just going shopping in Yuen Long.”  

Because of this, some members of Cathay Pacific organised a peaceful protest at the airport in support of the protestors.

By this point, protests were every Sunday and although the protestors were predominantly non-violent, the police still used inhumane methods to disperse them.  As if the police couldn’t cause further anger towards themselves from the public, they fired tear gas into residential areas, one of which being Wong Tai Sin.

5th August

To further press their point, a strike was organised all over Hong Kong and about 350,000 people joined in on the strikes.  Over 200 flights were cancelled due to this incident.  To disperse the protesters, the police used more than 800 canisters of tear gas.  On August 6th, a student was arrested for possession of “offensive weapons”.  They were laser pens.  This act alone proved how desperate the police were to just accuse someone of crimes.  This prompted protestors to go to the Space museum and hold a Laser show, pointing their laser pointers at the wall of the space museum.

#Eye4HK movement & Airport protests

On the 11th of August, there was another protest.  Protests have been going on for two months now by this point.  But what made this protest so different from the rest was that a medic - who was just volunteering her help in the protests -was hit by a bean bag round fired by the police.  This made the protestors even more furious, it sparked the #Eye4HK movement.  It was started by a Korean actor, Kim Eui Sung on instagram.  [16]  The next day, the 12th, Cathay Pacific threatened its staff with being fired if they participated in protests. [17] Later on, on the 16th of September, the boss of Cathay Pacific stepped down. [18]

In an outrage, a protest was organised within the airport where from the 12th of August to the 14th, protestors sat in the airport, prompting Airport authority to cancel flights.  However, protestors later reflected upon it and decided it wasn’t the correct method to choose and issued an apology over social media.  They also went to the airport the next day and personally apologised to the tourists that were delayed.

#BoycottMulan

A movement to Boycott Mulan sparked when, on the 15th of August, the actress for Mulan posted a post in support of the Hong Kong police.  [19][20]

The Hong Kong Way

On the 23rd of August, Hong Kongers formed a human chain to draw attention to the movement’s five demands.

The Five demands are:

Complete withdrawal of the extradition bill from the legislative process: Although the Chief Executive announced indefinite suspension of the bill on 15 June, reading on it may be quickly resumed. The bill was “pending resumption of second reading” in the Legislative Council. The bill was formally withdrawn on 23 October.

Retraction of the “riot” characterisation: The government originally characterised the 12 June protest as “riots”. Later the description was amended to say there were “some” protesters who rioted. However, protesters contest the existence of acts of rioting during the 12 June protest.

Release and exoneration of arrested protesters: Protesters consider the arrests to be politically motivated; they also question the legitimacy of police arresting protesters at hospitals through access to their confidential medical data in breach of patient privacy.

Establishment of an independent commission of inquiry into police conduct and use of force during the protests: Civic groups felt that the level of violence used by the police on 12 June, specifically those against protesters who were not committing any offences when they were set upon, was unjustified; police performing stop-and-search to numerous passers-by near the protest site without probable cause was also considered abusive.  Some officers’ failure to display or show their police identification number or warrant card despite being required to do so by the Police General Orders is seen to be a breakdown of accountability.  The existing watchdog, Independent Police Complaints Council lacks independence, and its functioning relies on police co-operation.

Resignation of Carrie Lam and the implementation of universal suffrage for Legislative Council and Chief Executive elections:Currently, the Chief Executive is selected by a 1,200-member Election Committee, and 30 of the 70 Legislative Council seats are filled by representatives from different sectors of the economy, forming the majority of the so-called functional constituencies, most of which have few elector

Prince Edward Station Incident

On the 31st of August, protestors, despite the ban put in place by police, still went to protest.  At night, Prince Edward Station was stormed by the Special Tactical Squad.  They beat and pepper-sprayed commuters and protestors alike.  Following that, protestors gathered at Mong Kok MTR station to demand they release the CCTV footage of the incident in Prince Edward Station.  To this date, there has nothing that has become of this CCTV footage.  The pleas have fallen on deaf ears and police have denied that anything even happened. [21] [22]

The Withdrawal of the Bill

On the 4th of September, Carrie Lam decided to (finally) formally withdraw the Extradition Bill.  However, being three months too late, this was received particularly badly by the general public. [23]  The protestors no longer wanted just this anymore, they wanted the Five Demands they requested. [24]

Starting from the 10th of September, protestors began singing “Glory to Hong Kong” [25] while marching or in various locations.  It was a song that was originally posted on the 26th of August.  The song was written to include the phrase “光復香港，時代革命” (“Liberate Hong Kong; revolution of our times”).  They also went on to initiate campaigns to boycott shopping malls that are owned by The MTR corporation, New Town Plaza, Pro-Beijing shops and corporations.  

National Day and Mask ban

On the 1st of October, China’s national day, protestors organised another protest.  The violence escalated further as a protestor was shot in the chest by a police officer while he was trying to hit him with a pipe.  Police attacked protestors with tear gas, rubber bullets, sponge grenades and water cannons.  The protestors fought back, using corrosive fluid, bricks and petrol bombs.  74 protestors were injured and 25 police officers were also injured.

Following that, on the 4th of October, Carrie Lam decided to pass a mask ban in an attempt to stop people from protesting.  But This did not stop the protestors. [26]

#BoycottBlizzard

I’m not going to lie, ever since this incident happened, more of the people I have on my facebook are actually posting about the Hong Kong protests.  More people have become more aware.  On the 6th of October, a gamer known as Blitzchung was kicked out of a professional e-sports tournament after voicing his support for the protestors in Hong Kong in an interview. (“Liberate Hong Kong, revolution of our times” ) Then shortly after, he was banned for 12 months by Blizzard, who are in business with China and made to forfeit the equivalent of $10,000 in prize money. [27] Blizzard also stated that the two interviewers who conducted the interview were fired.  

Of course, this has highlighted how even the west walks on eggshells when doing business with China.  How they are fearful of being punished otherwise.  A good example of high street brands that had to apologise are Versace, Dior, Muji, Zara, Gap, the list goes on… [29]

The backlash Blizzard face from the rest of the world was huge, making the #BoycottBlizzard tag trend on twitter. [28] They have also shortened Blitzchung’s ban to 6 months and will receive his winnings from the tournament.   Mei from Overwatch has also become a symbol for the protests as a result.  Of course, Blizzard aren’t one of the only companies that came under fire when it comes to the Hong Kong protests.  NBA, Apple and even Google have come under fire over the subject.

"To cut a long story short, Daryl Morey, who was the general manager of Houston Rockets, shared a tweet that showed support for Hong Kong anti-government protesters. This caused backlash from China and the NBA has since apologised. [30] Apple and Google pulled the HKmap.live app from their app stores.  The app allows Hong Kong protestors to see the location of the police and where tear gas has been fired." [31]

Violence & breach of rights against protestors

On the 11th of October, a livestreamed account of a female university student sparked new anger towards the Hong Kong police.  In the account, Sonia Ng, claimed that the police had sexually assaulted her.  She also went on to say that detained protestors were body-searched in dark rooms and that others also “suffered sexual violence”. [32]

This is not the first time the police have been accused of sexual harassment. [33]

Many detainees have also come out to speak about the mistreatment of their time detained by the police. [34][35]

In fact, some protestors have prepared “last letters” to their loved ones in case they don’t return to them. [36]

For more information, please check out the Wikipedia page on the 2019 Hong Kong Protests.  The link will be provided below.  [37]

So, what can you do to help?

Firstly, you’re already helping by reading this long post.  I’m going to be a pain and ask you to read the Wikipedia article too for further information.  Secondly, have you signed the petition yet?  It’s linked at the very top, however, I’ve linked it here too.  Thirdly, If you live in the UK, please bring it up to your MPs, if you live in the US, please bring it up to the senator that represents your area.  Fourthly, just spread the word, share articles on Facebook or Twitter, in fact, just share all of the links I’ve provided in this post.

Lastly, I ask you to remember those who have died from the protests.  Remember Marco Leung, the first person to take his life over the protests.  Remember Lo Hiu-Yan and Zhita Wu, who felt like there was no tomorrow and that she was tired and didn’t want to fight for tomorrow anymore.  Remember all those who couldn’t bare to see the results in the fight for freedom.

Thank you so much for reading this post.  Remember that even if things look bleak, you must press on.

[1] The history of Hong Kong, visualized

[2] Taiwan Murder Case

[3] Everything you need to know about Hong Kong’s extradition law

[4] A digital Cat-and-Mouse Battle between Police and Protesters in Hong Kong

[5] Carrie Lam addresses extradition law controversy

[6] The difference between Police before and Police now

[7] Marco Leung’s suicide

[8] Hong Kong remembering Marco Leung

 Lo Hiu-Yan’s Suicide:

[9] https://www.theepochtimes.com/21-year-old-hong-kong-student-dies-after-leaving-message-protesting-extradition-bill_2983629.html

[10] http://shanghaiist.com/2019/06/30/21-year-old-hong-kong-student-leaves-anti-extradition-note-then-jumps-to-her-death/

 Zhita Wu’s Suicide:

[11] https://shanghaiist.com/2019/07/01/third-suicide-by-an-anti-extradition-protestor-in-hong-kong-sparks-alarm-bells/

[12] https://www.dimsumdaily.hk/copycat-anti-extradition-suicide/

[13] Joshua Wong’s thoughts on July 1st protests

[14]  Another Hong Kong Protester Fell to Her Death After Leaving a Message for the Government

[15] Hong Kong protest Suicides

[16] #Eye4HK: How a Korean actor started social media movement in solidarity with people of Hong Kong

[17] Cathay threatens to fire staff over ‘illegal’ HK protests

[18] Cathay Pacific boss Rupert Hogg quits after protest row

[19] https://twitter.com/AnthonyKFHo/status/1161977889371430914?s=20

[20] Here’s What to Know About the Mulan Boycott

[21] Hong Kong: Rampaging police must be investigated

[22] Hong Kong authorities deny protester death claims after police raid

[23] ‘Too little, too late’: Hong Kong democrats and protesters vow further action despite extradition bill withdrawal

[24] Why are the protesters in Hong Kong not holding back and looking forward to burn with the government

[25] Glory to Hong Kong

[26] Thousands on streets of Hong Kong rage against mask ban

[27] Blizzard bans video game star after he supports Hong Kong protests

[28]  Blizzard, Hearthstone and the Hong Kong protests: What you need to know

[29] Versace is the latest major brand to express its “deepest apologies” to China

[30] The NBA’s crisis in China threatens multibillion-dollar ties

[31] Apple pulls HKmap.live app used in Hong Kong protests

[32] Student’s emotional allegation of sexual assault by Hong Kong police sparks investigation and anger

[33] #ProtestToo: Hongkongers adopt anti-sexual harassment rallying cry in response to police assault allegations

[34] More doctors, nurses decry police for arresting first-aiders, preventing treatment

[35] Amnesty accuses Hong Kong police of abuses, torture of protesters

[36] Hear Hong Kong Protesters Read Their Final Goodbyes | The Dispatch

[37] 2019 Hong Kong protests

[38] Lord Alton's opening speech in Hong Kong debate

Good twitters to follow:

HongKongHermit

Joshua Wong

Misakisuzuki

Winnie the Xi

#HKResist Fight for Hong Kong

[tickletastic]

Take Care

Title: Take Care

Rating: G/SFW

Warnings: Mentions of death and abuse (non-explicit)

Word Count: 1857

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Ship: N/A

Summary: Reid won’t stop working on a case to eat or sleep, so the team takes matters into their own hands.

Notes: Another birthday fic for @funficsandstories because she deserves them all :)

“Son of a bitch!” Spencer screamed into the void that was the empty office he had been given within the Las Vegas police department’s station. In an angry haze he pushed a pile of his papers of the desk, hastily rising from his seat to pace the small office.

Today’s case was tough, their unsub was murdering fathers who had abandoned their families to start new lives, leaving letters left in code for law enforcement to discover. The case hit a little too close to home for the young doctor, both literally and figuratively, clouding his mind slightly even though he wouldn’t admit it. For some reason he couldn’t find a basis for the unsub’s mysterious code, despite his profile and info from Garcia. Usually, when he was faced with a code, he would be able to solve it within an hour, but he had been stuck in the office for 6 at this point.

They didn’t have the time to sleep or eat in Virginia, having just got back from a case only an hour before they left for Vegas. The rush was largely due to the fact that the murder seemed to occur at the same time every time, but the spacing between murders was sporadic.

Reid frantically ran his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth while looking at the absolute nonsense written on the whiteboard in front of him. Hearing a video call memo, he turned his attention towards his laptop, answering the call from Garcia.

“Hey Boy Wonder, any luck with the code?” Garcia inquired, her usual chipper self.

“Not yet Garcia.” Reid attempted to sound calm, but his voice was laced with the frustrations he felt towards himself in the moment.

“Well maybe you should take a break to get some sleep and try looking at it with fresh eyes tomorrow,” She persuaded, knowing that the other members of the team had taken turns sleeping in shifts throughout the day after investigating the crime scene.

“I don’t have time right now, call me if you discover anything else.” Reid swiftly hung up, resuming his pacing. He got engrossed within his work again until the door to the office swung open.

“Hey Reid, how’s it going?” Hotch inquired, inspecting the board and the piles of information on the round table.

“Fine” Reid responded without looking at Hotch. He continued to keep his head down while he continuously tried to pull an ounce of sense from the letters.

Hotch raised an eyebrow at Reid, then he looked down at the disarray that was the stack of files Spencer had thrown to the ground.

“Okay, maybe not so great,” Reid admitted with a huff, “but I can do this Hotch.”

“Reid, there is no doubt in my mind that you can do this, but I think it would be best if you took a break for now. You haven’t eaten or slept for over 24 hours.” Hotch persisted, bending over to gather the disorganized papers.

Reid just ignored the comment, circling a few commonalities he noticed amongst the letters. He wanted to deny it, he felt as if he ate and slept more recently than that, but he knew that would just dig him a deeper hole.

“I’m fine Hotch, we have to finish this before the next murder.” Reid began rushing through the files on the desk in search of a specific one, silently signaling to his senior agent that he probably wasn’t going to get his way.

Hotch let out a sigh before walking out of the open office door, “this isn’t over Reid.”

It took only mere minutes for JJ, Derek, and Rossi to walk through the door.

“Hey pretty boy,” Derek exclaimed as the three of them all took seats around the table, “Hotch said that you were working a little too hard, I think you better get some food into ya’, and some sleep too.”

Reid shook his head, irritable from the entire situation going on around him. “Well, I believe the saying goes, as originated in Philadelphia in the early 2000s, ‘snitches get stitches’.” Reid had to internally fight himself to avoid the smirk that would have crossed his face upon uttering the snarky comeback.

“Oh no you don’t Kid, don’t let Hotch hear you say that,” Morgan teased the younger agent, picking up some of the files on the table to examine.

Reid tried to treat them as he did Hotch, but his senior agent had known exactly what he was doing by sending in the three of them. Reid wouldn’t manage to leave this room without a promise of a full night’s sleep and a full meal given to the three older agents. Despite this knowledge, he knew he couldn’t leave without a fight, feeling the pressure of needing to solve the nonsensical code.

“Spence, Derek and Hotch are right, you gotta get some sleep,” JJ pestered, worry laced in her voice and face.

Over the past few days Reid had been throwing himself into his work, she worried that he was feeling inferior again. They previously had a discussion where he told her that he felt inferior to the rest of the team, because sometimes the only thing he could provide was the solution to something that didn’t even matter. She had dispelled that thought like a cloud of breath on a cold night, but she knows Spencer too well to know that he’s still trapped inside his own mind. That, paired with how close to home the case hit, was not a great combination in the books of his fellow BAU members.

Spencer was close to caving in when he heard JJ’s nurturing voice, but he was so adamant on finishing the code in order to complete the profile.

“Spencer, what do you know so far?” Rossi questioned to try to calm his younger agent down.

“Our unsub is young, probably mid 20s to early 30s, he was without a father figure at some point in his life, or he had a father figure who inflicted pain on him at the same time everyday. He is highly intelligent but he probably works a menial job, and his letters written in code could belong to a series. If the letters do belong in a series, he may be leaving them in a random order, meaning that we would need another letter or multiple more letters to figure out the missing aspect that explains the code.” Reid spluttered out his rough profile to his fellow team members, anxiously rushing his hand through his hair as he explained.

“That’s pretty good if you ask me, and I know it’s frustrating, but maybe we just have to wait for the next letter, Reid.” Rossi tried to control the situation so Reid could see that he was being a little irrational.

“That’s the thing! We shouldn’t have to wait for the next victim to get a specific profile! As we’re talking right now our unsub could have another victim!” Reid exclaimed, his voice full of distress.

At this point JJ was standing up next to Reid, face to face with him. “Spence, just come sit down for a second. You need to calm down.”

JJ guided him to one of the chairs and sat down next to him, keeping her hand on his shoulder and giving him a massage as he placed his head in his hands.

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I just need to calm down and I can go back to examining the code,” Reid agreed in an attempt to get the three of his back.

“Nu uh Spence, you’re gonna go back to the hotel with Derek and you’re going to eat and sleep, you gotta take care of yourself.” JJ argued in response.

Before he could even protest, Morgan was at his side nodding along to what JJ had said.

“You hear that Kid? I’ll carry you out of here over my shoulder if I have to,” Morgan teased, landing a poke on the younger agent’s side.

A high pitched noise sounded within the room. Reid’s face had turned redder than any of them had ever seen it before, and he was suddenly trying to get up from hi seat at the table.

“Spencer?” Rossi inquired.

“Yeah?”

“What was that?”

“Uh, it was nothing, I just really need to get back to this case, so if you guys don’t mind, I- wahahahahahait Moohohorgan,” Reid didn’t even get to finish his ramblings when Morgan’s two hands were suddenly tracing shaped along his sides.

JJ cooed at the sight, internally glad that Morgan had found out Reid was ticklish. JJ had been sworn to secrecy, but sometimes her younger coworker could just be way too stoic, something she knew Derek could change from now on.

Trusting that Derek could coax Reid out of the room with his newfound knowledge, JJ and Rossi left, but now before adding some quick, tickly touches into the mix.

“Deheheherek nohohohoho! Plehehehehase stahahahahap,” Reid begged as Morgan rough fingertips danced over his tummy. He was unable to properly defend himself in his current situation, trapped in the chair by Derek.

“Nope, sorry Pretty Boy, I’m here until you agree to go back to the hotel to take care of yourself. Now, why don’t we find some better spots?” Derek teased as his fingers lingered upwards.

Reid was sent into absolute panic as the fingers didn’t stop in their path. His ribs, neck, and armpits absolutely wreck him, something he had learned only recently from none other than Jennifer Jareau.

“DeheheheREHEHEHEHECK NOHOHOHOHO! STAHAHAHAHAP PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” Reid squealed loudly, throwing his head back as fingertips collided with his upper ribs. “IHIHIHIHILL GOHOHOHO! IHIHIHIL GOHOHOHO!”

“I’m just not completely satisfied that you’re telling me the truth yet,” Morgan joked, letting his fingers roam even higher.

Spencer clamped his arms down as fast as he possibly could, wrapping his hands around Derek’s arms and attempting to pull his hands out from under his armpits.

“MOHOHOHORGAHAHAHAN IHIHIHI CAHAHAHANT TAHAHAKE IT!” Reid screeched out, hoping to God the station was empty so his embarrassing laughter could be forgotten. “OHOHOKAY OHOHOKAY IHIHI CAHAHAHANT! STAHAHAP STAHAHAP STAHAHAP! IHIHIHILL GOHOHO!”

Derek chuckled as Reid frantically tried to bat his hands away, attempting to catch his wrists with every move he made.

“Fine, fine pretty boy,” Morgan let up, allowing his younger coworker to breathe.

Reid loud out a surprised squawk as he felt himself being tossed over Morgan’s shoulder in the blink of an eye.

“Uhh, Morgan, what are you doing?”

“Just makin’ sure you don’t run away kid.”

Derek swung open the door of the office, carrying Spencer over his shoulder with no problem at all. As they were leaving, they passed JJ, Rossi, Hotch, and Prentiss, who all had amused looks plastered across their faces.

“Snitches get stitches, hmm? Sound like you were the only one in stitches today Reid,” Hotch spoke, not looking up from his files.

A quick ‘I’m sorry’ was the last thing Reid got to say before he was carried out the doors of the LVPD and dropped into the seat of an FBI truck.

[thenervousmedic]

A coffee a day... (Connor x Reader)

Note: I’m trying, I’m getting better! I think... This one hit 3k words ^.^ I hope it’s not too bad-

Summary: Several armed hostage situations happened almost simultaneously. After interrogating the shooter, Connor visits you in the hospital but struggles with your logic.

A coffee a day- Chapter 3: Questions and leads

Dark clouds gently enveloped the sky in slow dancing swirls, the distant wails of an ambulance trailing its way off into the distance.

“Connor.” An assertive tone jerked the zoned out investigator back to reality, the hazed over look in his optics fading away as Hank places a hand stiffly onto his jacket. He was so out of it right now, a strange problem to have with someone who normally never missed a single detail. He growled, unsure whether to be strict or sarcastic, waving a hand across the scene. “The assailant, think you can reactivate ‘em, get some answers?” With a swift scan, the LED on Connor’s temple blinking yellow as it refined the data, logging the Deviant’s model number and identity. “Maybe-” Registered name : Harvey. An AP700, a very recent model, currently at the front of every good Cyberlife store as the best household assistant available. He was only bought a little over a week ago. The shots you had fired into its chest region had hit his therium pump- effectively cutting off the circulation of the blueblood to the biomechanics within seconds. The holes were pristine, almost perfectly aimed to take out a dangerous target at close range. Had the bullet strayed inches to the left or right it would only have severed the main artery tubes- allowing time for the AP700 to retaliate or flee before deactivating. Though that didn't matter much now. The damage had already been done before you could properly secure the gun. Why would you do that, that was so stupid! It wasn’t fair that you got shot instead of him. He's easily repaired, replaced, he’s expendable. You are not. Connor should have foreseen those events, he should have been better, the thought was… It was exhausting. Red hues bled into his LED, sharp capital letters springing up across the room from his enhanced vision.

[SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^^]

“Lieutenant Anderson?” Connor’s hands idly wrapped themselves under Harvey's arms, hauling him up off of the floor to be taken to the car- wanting to repair and speak to the android or if possible probe it’s memory. Though this wasn’t where his question to Hank question was headed- “Why would someone experiencing heightened fear do something with such a high probability of drastically increasing the risk to their well being?” the question was flat, curious almost, but not far off sounding vacant and hollow. “Fuck if I know.” Was his response, still crouched beside the poor limp body of a shot victim. “People do dumb things Connor.” Clarity was slow today, but Hank did eventually put two and two together. Why Connor had been acting to strangely, why he was asking this question, it was fairly obvious. Connors nonstop switching from convincing emotional behaviour to his classic rationality had thrown Hank off until now. “This is where you get the coffee…”

His tone was low as he took long strides over to the RK800. Connor looked at him blankly. “Yes. It is.” His voice was as monotone as the vacant look on his face. “Connor?” Something churned in the android's chest, like Hank had suddenly prodded a small locked box somewhere in his code. “Y/N was working here this morning, was she here during-?”

He frowned, adjusting his loose grip on Harvey as he set off for the front door, leaving hank in the Cafe behind him. “Yes, Y/N was the critically wounded hostage we called an ambulance for-” The corrupt tinge of hatred behind that sentence caught Lieutenant Anderson completely off guard, his mouth parting but no reply coming forth.

He shoved his hands into the dirty dark beige coat that sat slack on his frame; watching Connor drag his ‘evidence’ to the car and shove it in the back seat while other officers went about their business writing short reports or going back to their previous posts. This wasn’t the first time Hank had heard of you - quite the contrary. Every morning Connor got coffee for him, he’d mention your name. Something about the enthusiasm he gained on coffee-run mornings would make Hank enjoy the effect it had on Connor more than the drink itself.

So that was you, huh… the one that was shot. Hank let his face scrunch up slightly, huffing out a heavy sigh, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “Deviancy has characteristics of a virus, Hank.” Something Connor had told him a few nights before during their nightly review. “I self-test regularly”

..What are the results of those tests Connor. What are they…

--

Hank drive back to the office in silence, Connor sitting as stiff as a plank next to him with his LED a calm unmoving blue. His eyes were closed, which Hank found odd considering Androids don’t need sleep, but he didn’t question it. The office was buzzing, lively, the sound of hard soled shoes hitting a solid linoleum flooring. Unlike this morning when the atmosphere seemed calm and boring it now bustled with people doing their damndest to get things done. Hank and his plastic puppy among them. One call after another came in about rogue deviants at a rather alarming rate. Connor had not missed the correlation between each case- all the affected Deviants were either AP700’s or newer, the whole city was shaken by police sirens and ambulance calls.

“Hank.” Conner put a hand in front of the elder grumbling man’s face, waving it up and down to get his attention while he roared something to someone on the other end of his phone. “I will review the current cases with you later- I am going to go interrogate that Deviant from the coffee shop-” His voice cracked slightly, earning a quick throat-clearing cough from the android despite this being a purely aesthetic feature with no functionality other than helping appear more human.

Hank was too busy being angry at whichever poor soul decided to call him during this crisis to answer properly, just giving Connor an approving nod while just barely listening to their rambling on the other end.

Lights flickered on the containment room’s door lock, a hand shape pulsing in the middle, blue soothing colours along with yellows dotted along the top. As connor’s hand interfaced with it’s systems it let out short crispy beeps like a bird before a sliding glass door shifts open- Harvey's deactivated figure slumped against the seat on the right of the room.

Connor already had the foresight to gather the needed replacement part : luckily therium pumps didn't change very much throughout most models of android- not unless they were built specifically for heavy lifting or athletics work - which luckily the AP700 wasn’t. The slick and almost gelatinous congealed therium made sloppy noises as the investigator reached into replace the broken part, hesitating at the last second with the component barely a hairs length away from its destination. Glaring at Harvey’s frozen expression of surprise - a slight lingering spark of fear to his eyes, not nearly as angry as when he had Y/N locked tightly in his arm.

[SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^^]

Harvey gasped for breath as the new therium pump slotted into place, thudding away at the previously dormant pipes of blue blood with staggering speed. His mouth choking up the remaining therium before spitting it out roughly- unable to stand due to a tall lanky figure looming over him. “Several stores were all held at gunpoint simultaneously following your attempt. Why?” He blinked, staring up at Connor is a state of mild panic while trying to look around, was he in… was he in a police station?

The RK800’s hand flew past his head, hitting the wall behind it with a loud boom, making the dazed android yelp and put his hands to his face. Something was… wrong. This couldn’t be the same android that had threatened your life. He was so meek, the green glow to his eyes was stuffed to the brim with terror and bewilderment.

Perhaps a calmer and more supportive questioning would yield better results, Harvey’s stress was far too high for Connor to glean anything important from his speech.

“I’m sorry-” He backed away, letting Harvey look around for a moment, the stopwatch Connor had set in his interface still had plenty of time left in it. “You are safe here, please, try to calm down. My name is Connor… you are Harvey, right?”

“Connor. Y-you know… my name?” He mumbled quietly. The bright whites of the room was painful to look at without squinting at least a little.

If this was an act it was being done very well. Connor couldn’t read anything off of the face of this android - it’s like he had been reset. “Harvey… you held a Cafe at gunpoint today-” He tone was gentle, but it still visibly shook the AP700 to hear those words, “-You Murdered a civilian and a fellow android…. Don’t you remember any of this?”

“N-no I… I wouldn’t-” The LED on Harvey’s head began spiralling out of control- glowing a bright red and blinking rapidly. “I just ran away- I didn’t hurt anyone!” He insisted, receiving a furrowed brow. “D-Dont send me back..  He’ll deactivate me-”

“It's ok.” He gently reassured, checking the remaining time diligently. “I understand that you're scared. I just want some answers, that's all.”

With the Bots stress successfully draining, Connor had too many questions to possibly ask them all in time. Priorities must be answered first.

“Who will deactivate you?”

“....”

--

You mumble incomprehensibly into the cold fabric bedcover. Much to your relief there wasn't anything long and tube-y sticking out of your arm today. Hospitals. You hate them. The unnatural medicinal smell, the murky but clean white walls, and the general sense of discomfort that they bring warded you away on most days.

Sure you would come here if you broke a bone or something; but unless it's serious you tried to avoid being even close to them. Everything about the atmosphere of this place sent something grossly crawling up your back and through your throat.

You had been given painkillers, but that didn't stop the slow burn that was a healing bullet wound in your gut. It had gone through your stomach and grazed the large intestine underneath, much to your luck this was a fairly easy surgery in comparison to other places it could have hit. A few stitches there and there, one removed bullet, and a whole punch of laying still in this bed doing absolutely nothing.

Time to reflect was nice but you’d been here for only a day and a half and it already felt like you’d never get to leave. You were fine, honestly, it was stitched up. You weren't allowed to leave until the end of the week- god that’s like a whole nother two days away. The room wasn’t silent yet no noise stuck out among the continual ‘hospital’ drone that meandered on and on was only interrupted by the occasional caretaker android going past your room.

“Gets kinda lonely in here, huh.” A gruff voice yanked your attention in it’s direction. A drooping strand of H/C hair flopping itself across your nose. It’s easy to get someone’s attention when their most stimulating activity is counting the time between hearing people walk by.

A tired looking man stood just in from the doorway, long scraggly grey hair and dark silvery-blue eyes to match. “L-lieutenant Hank Anderson?” Whoah, he was bigger than you thought- taller than you (Pff, who wasn’t), with heavy clothes that made him larger and slightly intimidating.

What was he doing here?

He nodded, dislodging something between his teeth with a gritted jaw, looking around the room. His hands on his hips and expression hard to read. “We’re questioning witnesses of the hostage situation at your Cafe, mind if I ask you some questions?”

He looked surprised to see you pushing yourself to sit upright, gritting your teeth as you did so, still hunched ever so slightly over as both hands rested daintily on your lap.

“Of course! Fire away.” you gave him a grin, amused by your own stupid pun while aiming a finger gun in his direction. He was obviously not expecting such a relaxed attitude from someone who had just been facing the possibility of their own death less than a day ago. Heh, really shows how little he know about you. “Right.” He didn't look displeased at the attempted humour, but it certainly didn't make him any happier about being here. Something about the way he eyed a turned off heart monitor gave you waves of sympathy. “The android that held up your workplace yesterday, his name was registered as Harvey, did you know him?” you lightly ‘hmm’ed; taking eyes eyes from the officer to look at where your knees were under the sheets and think.

The name wasn’t familiar, nor was his face or clothing- not that you got the best look at it past the tears and lack of focus. Y’know, the whole threat on your life thing. “No, no I don't think so.”

“Do you know anyone who has recently lost their android or seen any suspicious activity in the area?”

“I told you to wait outside, Connor.” A grin forced your head to look back up at Hank. Surely enough Connor stood beside him, a serious as ever, with his hands tightly locked behind his back. Hank, who moved away from his partner with rolling eyes, sat heavily down in a chair on the other side of the room. He was still observing you, just less blatantly than Connor who had his eyes secured on your face.

“No, i’m sorry fellas but It’s been a bit of a slow week.” The apologetic expression you directed at Hank made Connor squint slightly. Following your line of sight to the Lieutenant; who was displaying minute signs of discomfort.

“Lieutenant anderson-” his partners angry glare made Connor pause and retry the beginning of that request. “Hank. If you don't mind I would like to ask some questions alone with the victim.”

As you opened your mouth to protest, ensuring that you don't mind the officers presence in the room, Hank got up a little too quickly to leave. The aura of subdued distress and sorrow from him quietly stopped you, instead just mewling a quick “It was nice to meet you-” As he shut the door on his way out.

The room felt heavy with awkwardness but that didn’t seem to affect Connor. Who was still stood watching you with a curiously distant stare. The silence was thick and suffocating to a degree that made you nervous. Shuffling slightly while glancing around before abruptly turning back to him with your eyes set on checking his arm- The suit was fixed, so you could at the very least assume the damage underneath was gone too. “The damage wasn’t critical.” He interrupted your concerned glare like he had read your mind. “I was repaired shortly after interrogating the assailant.”

“Oh!” your face beamed brightly, like all the warmth from the sun could be seen in your cheeks. “That’s good, I’m sorry you got hurt-”

“-Y/N.” A stern callout quickly cut off your apology. His face was neutral but his eyes betrayed the confusion set behind them. “Androids don’t feel pain.” His words held an unnecessary sting to them. “The situation was well under control. You should not have compromised your safety further by attacking the deviant.”

Your face twitched. Tiny minute changes in the muscles that an everyday human would miss or ignore. It felt like you’d just been scolded by a parent, conflicting emotions arising through a slight power struggle in your head. “...I couldn’t stand still and watch him shoot you.” The broken inflection in your voice, the way your eyes avoided his to look across the room at the floor, it was hard to understand. Yes you could have, there was no logical reason to interfere. At least none that Connor could think of.

“I am a machine, on deactivation my memories are uploaded to cyberlife for a replacement Connor to download, this is not the case for you.” An invisible hand reached for your chest, taking your heart and tugging at its inner workings with malicious intent. Something about that sentence. The flatness to his tone when reiterating his own ability to be effectively killed and brought back to life again. “I would prefer not to delay my mission, Y/N.” The sadness that swam around your eyes made his lips part ever so slightly, as if he was going to speak but couldn’t process the right words.

“Y-yes… yes of course.” The change of subject was appreciated by both of you as Connor grabbed the chair from the wall and put it beside your bed. He sat with the chair itself facing the wrong way, straddling the chair from the front while crossing his arms and resting them atop the backrest. It was an oddly human action- but considering his time spent with Hank it didn’t surprise you too much.

“Does the sequence ‘B10C0D3’ Mean anything to you?” “Biocode?” You parroted back as soon as he had finished asking you. A twinge of disbelief to your faint smirk. “Yeah. Yeah I used to study with someone, he loved using that as his username. Jay, Jayden Summers.” Connor’s LED began to circle, going yellow, as he searched up the name. [Jayden Summers, A former Cyberlife employee fired for irrational behaviour and threats toward fellow personnel. Born 2008. D̛i̢e͝d 2̛0̧35͠.’ ]

Connor was looking straight through you - like you no longer existed in front of him. The light embedded into his head have a split-second flash of red before returning to its natural sky blue color as he blinked and shook his head. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. Thank you for your time, Y/N, I should be getting back to the investigation-” He looked almost… alarmed. Standing abruptly as you reached out to grab his arm- only just managing to snag a sleeve. He hesitated. Looking back at you, a tiny smile stretched up his cheek. It was wonky, but sincere, giving warm fuzzy glow to his face. It seems Connor had already noticed the fact you weren't looking forward to being alone again. “Would you like me to come back tomorrow?”

“Yes, yeah, i’d like that.” You let go, covering the excitement in your voice with a quiet quip. “But I can’t have a coffee ready for you this time.”

[sage-nebula]

I forgot to make a post on it, but I beat the True Final Boss of Hollow Knight a few days ago. I didn’t take screenshots of the true ending because I was too busy paying attention, but now that I’ve completed the game (save for extra stuff like the Trial of Fools and the upcoming Gods & Glory DLC), I thought I’d go ahead and make a post detailing what I understand of the narrative, given that there is so much left to interpretation (and you have to patch it together), and writing it out might help me understand it a bit better.

So with that said . . . a Hollow Knight narrative summary (to the best of my understanding) below the cut. Obviously, tons of spoilers, including endgame spoilers, are contained below. 

(Note: If anyone reads this and disagrees with any of the interpretations contained within, please don’t reblog to argue. This post is not intended for debate, but rather is intended as a way to help myself sort out the lore of this game so I can better understand it moving forward. Feel free to send an Ask to discuss this game if you want, because I’m open to that! Just please don’t do it on this post, because that’s not what this post is for. Thank you.)

All right, so . . .

Hundreds of years ago, before Hallownest was actually a kingdom, the land that would eventually become Hallownest was ruled by a being known as The Radiance.

The Radiance was a being of pure, blinding light. Using her light, she united all those who followed her under something of a hive mind. They didn’t entirely operate like a hive, but they were stripped of any identity and sapience, and were instead reduced purely to base instinct. This allowed for unity, but it also stunted progress, at least in the minds of some.

Some, such as the Pale King.

The Pale King, also known as Wyrm, was, well . . . originally a wyrm of epic size and proportion. He shed his wyrm skin and scaled himself down so that he was on the same level as the other bugs of the land in terms of size, but he still glowed with his own radiant light. Notably, he also contained the Void within him, and exercised control over the Void. Unlike most everyone else in the land, the Pale King had sapience of his own. Using his sapience and his wisdom, he defeated and banished The Radiance, thus freeing all the bugs from her blinding control. Once they were free of The Radiance’s light, the bugs gained sapience and the Kingdom of Hallownest was born. They also began to worship the Pale King as a god (something which he encouraged), because he granted them that sapience, and he glowed with his own ethereal light. It should be noted that, with The Radiance gone, most forgot her existence as well.

Note 1: It is possible that the Pale King was not the only bug with sapience during The Radiance’s rule. It’s possible that the Seer had sapience as well.

After gathering 2400 essence, the player can talk to the Seer for the final pieces of her backstory. The Seer informs them that her clan used to worship The Radiance, and that even though most forgot The Radiance, her (the Seer’s) loyalty remains. Specifically, the Seer says:

“The folk of my tribe were born from a light. Light similar to essence, similar to that powerful blade, though much brighter still. They were content to bask in that light and honoured it . . . for a time. But another light appeared in our world . . . a wyrm that took the form of a king. How fickle my ancestors must have been. They forsook the light that spawned them. Turned their backs to it . . . forgot it, even. And so this kingdom was born from that betrayal. But the memories of that ancient light still lingered, hush whispers of faith . . . until all of Hallownest began to dream of that forgotten light. [. . .] Light . . . Radiance . . . I . . . remember you.”

The Seer talks about her ancestors being fickle for turning on The Radiance and worshiping the Pale King instead, but she also says that she remembers The Radiance herself. Moreover, if she saw her tribe forsaking The Radiance as a betrayal, that implies that the worship was less due to base instinct, and more due to conscious decision. Therefore, it’s possible that the Seer, at the very least, had sapience even before the Pale King overthrew The Radiance, if not her entire tribe. That’s not set in stone, but it is a possibility.

Note 2: Not all of the creatures that lived in the land during this time happily accepted the rule of the Pale King. Herrah the Beast of Deepnest only agreed to work with him in return for a child (more on this later), and there is a sign in Greenpath that suggests that the Gardens were stolen from their former inhabitants by Hallownest’s queen, the White Lady.

(Yes, the White Lady / queen is a tree person.)

Specifically, the sign reads:

“Though once our lands, a pale being lays claim to the caverns ahead. It may appear benevolent but it does not share our dream. Be wary to wander that place.”

So at the very least, the Deepnest residents were not accepting of the Pale King’s rule, but it seems as though the original citizens of Greenpath weren’t, either.

For a time, the Kingdom of Hallownest thrived under the Pale King’s rule. The City of Tears became the capital city due to its close proximity to the White Palace (which was actually located in Ancient Basin), and the surface town of Dirtmouth was, once upon a time, thriving despite how it is known as a fading town in the present day. Stagways were built, bustling, and full of life due to the booming economy. A tram system was in the process of being built as technology advanced. Aside from the guards that patrolled the City of Tears to keep the aristocracy safe, the Pale King also had five great and talented knights: Dryya, Hegemol, Ze’mer, Isma, and Ogrim. While the exact roles these knights played in the past has largely been lost to history, it is clear that they had a strong duty to protect the king and queen (as well as each other) from the battles that unfolded due to conflicting loyalties and strife among order.

For you see, while Hallownest thrived under the Pale King’s rule for a time, not all areas of Hallownest were so open to his rule. As previously mentioned, there is a sign in Greenpath that suggests that the White Lady took her Gardens, rather than having them bestowed upon her peacefully. There is also the fact that the Mantis Tribe in the Fungal Wastes never accepted the Pale King’s rule, and in fact continues to refuse any political connection to Hallownest to this day. Deepnest, similarly, did strike a deal with Hallownest through the political dalliance between its queen, Herrah the Beast, and the Pale King, but the tram station being built there was never completed and Deepnest feels very disconnected from the ruins of Hallownest in the present day. Lastly, even the Mantis Tribe had its share of strife, for the fourth Mantis Lord and sole brother of the ruling mantises split off from his sisters and became the Traitor Lord instead, taking some of hte mantises with him. They now live in the Queen’s Gardens, and it’s implied they had fought and killed many there.

Many, such as Great Knight Dryya.

Dryya died protecting the queen from the Traitor Lord. In the present day, her corpse is still just outside the White Lady’s grove, and her last thoughts were those of protection. 

Dryya was not the only Great Knight to have altercations with the traitor mantises; Great Knight Ze’mer, known in the present day as the Grey Mourner, had fallen in love with the Traitor Lord’s daughter. 

However, their union was forbidden due to the war, and they were kept permanently separated. The Traitor Lord’s daughter ended up dying in battle, and Ze’mer was left to grieve her, unable to even visit her grave.

It is unknown how Great Knight Isma died, but die she did. 

Her body rests in her grove, which is located in the Royal Waterways, and is guarded by Great Knight Ogrim, known in the present day as the Dung Defender. 

Ogrim is implied to have harbored feelings for Isma, and these are feelings which Isma may have returned. (He also doesn’t seem aware of the fact that Isma is dead.) This may explain why Isma’s Grove was in the Royal Waterways, or why Ogrim decided to go to the Royal Waterways after his exile (more on that later). However, that is speculation.

Lastly, we do not know what led to Great Knight Hegemol’s death, or what became of him. 

All we know is that his armor was stolen by a maggot who would later be known as the False Knight. It’s possible that Hegemol died during the original plague, but we have no way of knowing that for sure.

Note 1: It is speculation that the Grey Mourner is the Great Knight Ze’mer. We do know that the Grey Mourner was in love with the Traitor Lord’s daughter, because the Grey Mourner is the one who gives the player the Delicate Flower to place on the Traitor’s Child’s grave. However, we don’t have confirmation that the Grey Mourner and Ze’mer were the same person. That said, they appear to be very similar, Ze’mer talks about once serving the king, and she has a great nail in her house. It is highly likely they are the same person even if it is not confirmed.

Note 2: Likewise, we don’t know for sure that Ogrim and Isma had feelings for one another. It’s possible they just had a very close / admiring relationship. However, it’s not that much of a leap to make.

While things, aside from political strife here or there, were mostly fine in Hallownest and allowed the kingdom to thrive, it was not meant to last. Though The Radiance had been defeated and forgotten, this defeat was temporary. Furious at the fact that she had been overthrown, and even more furious over the fact that the bugs of Hallownest had forgotten her, The Radiance unleashed an infection on the citizenry. This infection was of a special sort; it was contagious not via blood or physical ailments, but rather via dreams and thoughts. So long as some remembered and dreamt of her, the infection could spread and retake them. The Pale King, knowing this, sought to have all relics of The Radiance destroyed once he took over. However, there were statues at the crown of Crystal Peak that remained that bore The Radiance’s image. Additionally, the crystals in Crystal Peak had captured and continued to glow with her light. As bugs mined in Crystal Peak, they discovered the crystals and images, and became infected.

The infection (also known as the plague) was not only abnormal in how it spread, but also in what it did. The infection caused glowing orange sores and postules to appear on those infected, but it also stripped them of their sapience and reduced them to base instinct, just as they were when The Radiance ruled prior. Moreover, the infection could reanimate the dead as husks, thus allowing them to act as soldiers of The Radiance. As the infection spread, The Radiance’s power grew, and as her power grew, the infection spread. It was a vicious cycle.

The Pale King knew that he had to do something to contain the plague. However, the method he had used to defeat The Radiance before wouldn’t work. He therefore decided that what needed to be done was that he needed to create a pure, perfect vessel to contain The Radiance and the infection. The Radiance’s power was spread through conscious thought; if a being had a mind or will, The Radiance could latch onto said mind and will and control them, willing her infection to spread. Therefore, creating a vessel with neither a mind or a soul was paramount. As a result, the Pale King set about creating a perfect Vessel---a Hollow Knight---to contain The Radiance and the plague to enable Hallownest to last eternal.

This plan had several parts.

First, there had to be a place for the Vessel to be kept, where ordinary citizens could not traverse or interfere with what the Vessel was doing. The Temple of the Black Egg was constructed, and a Black Egg was created to house the Vessel. The Black Egg was constructed from Void matter in The Abyss, a place deep below the Ancient Basin and sealed with the King’s Brand. Since the Pale King had Void powers, he was able to do this. However, the Black Egg alone would not be enough. The Pale King knew that he would need Seals upon the Black Egg to ensure no one could break through and damage the Vessel, and as such he elected three powerful individuals to serve as Dreamers to keep the seals in place:

Lurien the Watcher, in his Spire in the City of Tears;

Monomon the Teacher, in her Archives in the Fog Canyon;

Herrah the Beast, in her Den in Deepnest

It is unknown what sort of reationship the Pale King had with either Lurien or Monomon, as far as I am aware. The implication is that they were both already loyal to his rule and ready to serve as Dreamers for the Seals. However, Herrah the Beast was not originally on board with this plan.

Herrah, as previously mentioned, was the queen of Deepnest, the wildest and most dangerous part of the Kingdom of Hallownest (that was not originally part of the kingdom). Neither Herrah nor the rest of Deepnest originally acknowledged or accepted the Pale King’s rule. However, this changed when the Pale King struck a deal with Herrah: she would become a Dreamer, and in turn he would give her a child. This is how Hornet was born.

Hornet is the daughter of the Pale King and Herrah the Beast. Although she is the Pale King’s daughter, she was raised in Deepnest (most likely in the Weavers’ Den after her mother went into the Dreamer sleep). This is likely due to the fact that she is the king’s illegitimate daughter (due to not being borne of the White Lady), as well as due to the fact that Herrah is the one who wanted her. Nonetheless, with this bargain struck and completed, Herrah agreed to become a Dreamer in order to place a seal on the Black Egg.

Note 1: The Dreamers are actually, literally, physically sleeping in order to maintain their Seals on the Black Egg. They exist in the Dreamscape and are unable to wake for as long as the Seals last. Additionally, to break the Seals, one must kill the Dreamers. It’s unknown if they’re even capable of waking by themselves, or if they must be killed to have the Seals removed.

Note 2: It’s not specified in the game that Herrah was the queen of Deepnest, but Hornet’s original concept was that she was going to be “the daughter of three queens: born, raised, and trained.” Since Herrah is her mother, that would imply that Herrah was originally conceived to be a queen. Additionally, Stalker Devouts in the Weavers’ Den (where there is a room with a Seal of Binding called “hornet_room” in the game files) have the following thoughts:

“Herrah . . .” “Princess . . .” “For protection . . .”

This would imply that they see Hornet as a princess, and since the Hunters’ Journal says that the Stalker Devouts worship Herrah the Beast, it would further imply that Herrah is seen as the queen of Deepnest.

Note 3: There seems to be some debate among players over whether Hornet was Herrah’s biological daughter, or if she was a child given to Herrah by the Pale King that was actually birthed by the White Lady. However, it is of my opinion that Hornet is definitely Herrah’s biological child, for a few reasons.

First and foremost, the White Lady describes the Pale King’s relationship with Herrah the Beast (and therefore Hornet’s birth) as a “dalliance as bargain.” Specifically, she says:

“I never begrudged the Wyrm's dalliance as bargain. In fact, I feel some affection for the creature birthed.”

A “dalliance” is defined as a “casual romantic or sexual relationship.” Furthermore, the White Lady specifically says that Hornet was “the creature birthed” from said dalliance, meaning that the dalliance had to have been sexual. Additionally, if the Pale King didn’t sleep with Herrah, there would be nothing for the White Lady (his wife) to begrudge in the first place. This alone confirms (to me) that Hornet is indeed Herrah’s biological daughter. However, there are three other points that, while weaker, also need to be considered.

First is the matter if Hornet’s gender, and the fact that she has one at all. While many of us in fandom use male pronouns to refer to characters such as the player Knight (hereafter referred to simply as the Knight) and the Hollow Knight (hereafter referred to as the OG Hollow Knight), the truth is that in the game, the Vessels are genderless. They’re often referred to with “it / its” pronouns, likely because they were intended to be seen as things rather than people. These Vessels, however, are the children of the White Lady and the Pale King (more on that in a moment), which is confirmed when the White Lady refers to the Knight as her “spawn” in the Grimm Troupe DLC (and implied even before that when she tells the Knight that she has an urge to “breed,” but that she has sequestered herself in her Gardens to prevent that because she feels guilt and shame over what happened with the Vessel creation). This implies that children borne of the Pale King and White Lady are genderless, while the child that the Pale King bore with someone else---Herrah---was not.

There is also what Hornet says when spoken to at the top of The Abyss:

“I see you've faced the place of your birth, and now drape yourself in the substance of its shadow. Though our strength is born of similar source, that part of you, that crucial emptiness, I do not share.”

Hornet specifies that The Abyss is the place of the Knight’s birth, meaning that she herself was not born there. All of the Vessels were born in The Abyss. If Hornet was a Vessel herself (and therefore a daughter of the Pale King and White Lady), she would have been born in The Abyss as well. Additionally, Hornet says that she does not have the same emptiness that the Knight does---she doesn’t have Void powers. Their strength is born of similar source, because they have the same biological father, but they were born differently (likely due to their differing biological mothers), and thus she doesn’t have Void powers of her own.

Lastly, there is a creature in Deepnest---specifically near the Beast’s Den where Herrah lived---known as the Midwife.

Midwives are people who are trained to assist women in childbirth. It would make very little sense to have someone known as a Midwife exist and live so near Herrah’s home (where Hornet was likely born) if Herrah did not actually give birth. Moreover, the Midwife’s dialogue suggests that she knows quite a lot about the circumstances surrounding Hornet’s birth:

“That village above here, home to a sad creature. Hers is a tale of tragic exchange. Cost her and her people greatly, though I suspect she bore no regret in making it. [. . .] Then you've met her perhaps? Her who'd guard the mark, the Gendered Child. A spritely thing, isn't she? Pale gift to the Nest and the Beast, fair trade for sacrifice made. Long she's been distant. It'd do our spirits well were she to grace us a visit home . . .”

While the Midwife doesn’t specifically say that Herrah gave birth to Hornet, the fact that she is a midwife and knows so much about Hornet’s birth would suggest that she did. (Particularly since she says her own spirit would do well to see Hornet pay a visit home; she’s talking like someone who has known Hornet since birth.)

So all in all, while some debate this either way, I am of the opinion that Hornet is biologically Herrah’s daughter, and that she is not a Vessel herself.

The second part of the plan to contain The Radiance was to create a necessary Vessel. As stated, the Vessel had to have no mind of its own, and no will to possess or break, in order to successfully contain The Radiance and the plague. In other words, the pure Vessel had to be perfectly hollow. In order to create such a Vessel, the Pale King took two things from himself:

His link to, and powers from, the Void

His own children

It is unknown exactly how many children the Pale King and White Lady had. However, judging from the corpses in The Abyss, the number totaled tens of thousands, if not millions. (Which might seem excessive, but remember that the White Lady was a tree on top of the Pale King taking the form of a bug; mass reproduction was not so much an issue for them as it would be for mammals.) You see, the Pale King wanted to create a Vessel that had:

“No mind to think. No will to break. No voice to cry suffering.”

Any child that was born that did not perfectly fit these criteria, that could not be a perfectly hollow (and therefore pure) Vessel, was thrown into The Abyss to die. This is admittedly where things are a little bit muddled; we know that Vessels were created in The Abyss, and that our Knight was certainly born there. Hornet says The Abyss was his birthplace, and additionally, we find the Black Egg that the Knight was born from, which is what triggers the Knight’s memory of that day (and transforms the Kingsoul into the Void Heart). However, we also know that failed Vessels were thrown into The Abyss, as we see in that very memory where bodies are raining down around the Knight as he tries to climb his way out of the pit (after climbing up from under a pile of bodies to begin with). With that said, it’s possible that the Vessels were birthed in The Abyss, were taken back up out of the pit for testing, and---when they failed the tests---were then thrown back into The Abyss to die. That is most likely what happened, given the narrative presented.

In any case, the Pale King and White Lady had child, after child, after child in an effort to create a perfectly hollow Vessel (a Hollow Knight) to contain The Radiance, and killed any child who didn’t fit the criteria by throwing them into The Abyss to die. Horrified by the brutality of this plan, Great Knight Ogrim defected from the kingdom (and was subsequently banished by the Pale King’s anger) and retreated to the Royal Waterways instead. Again, it’s unknown if he went there because that’s where Isma’s grove was, or if Isma put her grove there because that’s where Ogrim went after he left his service. In any case, in the present day he still seems to long for the acceptance of his fellow Knights and Pale King, even though he left due to how gruesome the Pale King’s plan was.

Nonetheless, eventually the Pale King succeeded in creating a Vessel that fit his criteria. This Vessel was the OG Hollow Knight.

(This is what the OG Hollow Knight looks like as an adult, after he has already been acting as the Vessel for The Radiance, and still has The Radiance / infection contained within.)

Now, what’s important to note here is---well, actually, two things:

When the OG Hollow Knight was chosen, he was a child, the same size as the Knight we play as.

We know this because we see him in the very first memory the Knight has, the one he unlocks in The Abyss before gaining the Void Heart, wherein he tries to climb up out of the pit, and reaches the top just in time to see the OG Hollow Knight be chosen, and the Pale King seal The Abyss, locking the Knight and all the others inside.

The OG Hollow Knight was chosen by the Pale King at least one hundred years ago, by my understanding of the game’s narrative. This means that both the OG Hollow Knight---who is an adult---and the Knight that we play as must be at least one hundred years old . . . but that in turn doesn’t make very much sense given that the Knight is clearly child-sized, and is referred to as a child by a few others in the game. My best assumption is that time perhaps does not flow normally in The Abyss (just as it may not flow normally inside the Black Egg; the memorial statue to the OG Hollow Knight in the City of Tears suggests that the OG Hollow Knight was an adult at the time of his sealing, among other things), which means that even though the Knight was alive for those one hundred years, he did not begin to age until he found a way out of The Abyss and into the world above.

With that said, although the OG Hollow Knight was chosen as a child, he was not immediately put into the Temple of the Black Egg and made to take The Radiance and the plague into himself. It’s mentioned a few times within the game that the Pale King raised the OG Hollow Knight as his own son---that despite the fact that the OG Hollow Knight was only created to be a perfect Vessel, the Pale King still came to love the OG Hollow Knight as his own child. And this proved to be fatal; while the OG Hollow Knight was born perfectly hollow and therefore emotionless, with no mind or will of his own, the Pale King’s love ended up causing the OG Hollow Knight to develop a mind, will, and personality. As the White Lady puts it, the OG Hollow Knight was “. . . tarnished by an idea instilled.” That idea was that he was the Pale King’s son, that he loved his father, and that he loved his kingdom. (In fact, if you Dream Nail him during the fight against him, the only thought he has that truly belongs to him is, “Father . . .”) It’s unclear why the Pale King decided to raise the OG Hollow Knight as his child even if he only ever intended for the OG Hollow Knight to be a Vessel. It’s possible that he couldn’t help himself, because the OG Hollow Knight was still his biological child, and having him around caused those paternal instincts to kick in. (Although, considering all the other children he slaughtered, as well as how he ignored Hornet, I find this doubtful.) It’s also possible that perhaps he thought teaching the OG Hollow Knight to want to protect Hallownest above all else would give him the strength necessary to contain The Radiance. In any case, it backfired; since the OG Hollow Knight was no longer truly hollow, there was a mind and will for The Radiance to latch onto. Though the OG Hollow Knight was bound in chains inside the Black Egg, the infection began to escape from him anyway, and The Radiance began to corrupt him. The infection, which had already killed and enslaved (via zombification) so many of Hallownest’s residents already, continued to spread. And the Pale King, seeing his plan failed . . . vanished.

Or at least, so many came to think.

Note 1: While the Knight is the most recent Vessel to have escaped The Abyss, we know that he cannot be the only one. The Broken Vessel, a being overcome with infection, resides within the Ancient Basin above The Abyss, meaning that he must have escaped to get there (because we know that the Pale King would not have assigned him to be there; the Pale King tossed all failed Vessels into The Abyss, and it would be uncharacteristic of him to willingly let one go). Moreover, there are Vessel corpses here and there across Hallownest, including one in the grove where you first fight Hornet, implying that Hornet herself has killed at least one of her younger half-siblings before. How the Vessels escape The Abyss is something I’m not sure of, particularly since it’s implied that the Knight must have jumped from Howling Cliffs at the start of the game to end up in King’s Pass, and how he got to Howling Cliffs after coming from The Abyss is just beyond me. Nonetheless, there must be an alternate way out, since the primary entrance cannot be accessed without the King’s Brand, which none of them have.

Note 2: On the note of the Broken Vessel, when you defeat him, the infection spreads to the Forgotten Crossroads, turning them into the Infected Crossroads. (This also happens the first time you kill a Dreamer, which releases one of the Seals on the Black Egg. It really depends on which one you do first, but doing both makes the infection worse.) This comes across as strange given that the Broken Vessel is not providing a Seal on the Black Egg. That said, the part of the Ancient Basin where the Broken Vessel is is swarming with infection. My thought is that he was acting as a Vessel himself (as he’s supposed to) and was holding the infection back as best he could. When he was killed, he could no longer contain it, and it spread. That, however, is just speculation.

Note 3: Many theorize that Zote is a failed Vessel as well, but this theory does not ring true to me for a multitude of reasons.

To start with, Zote has a voice (does he ever), an identity, and a past. This is not something that any of the other failed Vessels can claim. While those that failed were not truly hollow as the Pale King wanted (hence being thrown into The Abyss as they were), none of the Siblings that we see have anything remotely resembling unique identities to the degree that Zote does. Zote is very clearly his own person, right down to the fact that he has a gender, whereas all of the children produced by the Pale King and White Lady were genderless (because again, I use male pronouns for the Knight and OG Hollow Knight out of habit / I don’t want to its “it / its” pronouns for them even though that’s what the game does --- and yes, we do know that Zote is definitively male). This is a huge mark against the theory that Zote could be a failed Vessel.

Building along those lines, Zote has a past, and a history that he remembers. He remembers his parents. While many have said that his issues with his parents could stem from them being the Pale King and the White Lady (e.g. that the Pale King was not satisfied with him, thus Zote twists this into the Pale King being jealous of him), that doesn’t quite make sense when you remember that the Pale King threw every failed Vessel into The Abyss, as well as the fact that those who originate from Hallownest and then decide to leave later are strongly implied to lose their memories from the act. (There is a lore tablet in the Howling Cliffs that says as much, and this is also supported by both Quirrel and the Knight losing their memories after (presumably, in the Knight’s case) wandering outside Hallownest’s borders for a while.) Zote came from outside of Hallownest; he traveled to the kingdom in order to fulfill a promise to himself. He would not remember that promise, or have that sense of identity, if he had crawled up from The Abyss, traveled away, and then come back. 

Moreover, when Zote is struck in the waking world (i.e. Grey Prince Zote does not count since he is a dream), he does not bleed Void. Instead, he produces Soul, just as all other non-Vessels do. And lastly, though least importantly, Zote does not show the strength or determination necessary to make it believable that he would find a way out of The Abyss. He’s too weak. He couldn’t have done it.

So all in all, Zote is not a Vessel, just as Hornet is not a Vessel. I am very certain of this.

Note 4: While the White Lady feels guilt and shame over producing so many children that then died, the Pale King never does. His last thoughts were, “No cost too great.” He may have vanished from public eye, but he never regretted what he did even though it did not ultimately save his kingdom.

Again, this is where things get a bit muddled. Hallownest has long since fallen to ruin despite many things (e.g. the Hollow Knight memorial statue) stating that the kingdom would last eternal. The town of Dirtmouth on the surface is described as fading, and Hallownest itself is described as a series of ruins. Moreover, many places in Hallownest (such as the Forgotten Crossroads) are filled with husks, which are the bodies of bugs once living, now dead, that are kept moving purely by the infection (i.e. they are zombies reduced to base instinct, which is to kill those still living). As if all of this wasn’t enough, those who are living who go down into Hallownest can become taken by infection themselves, as was nearly the case with Sly and Bretta, and was eventually the case with Myla (RIP). Despite this, there are some places in Hallownest still thriving, such as the Mantis Village, but those places are few and far between, and the Elderbug in Dirtmouth advises against traveling down into its depths. 

WIth that said . . . it is stated that Hallownest fell about one hundred years ago, to my recollection. It’s also stated that the Pale King disappeared. We know this is not exactly true; the Pale King’s body can be found on his throne in White Palace, although White Palace is only accessible with a fully awakened Dream Nail. I am not sure entirely how that works; it’s possible that the Pale King hid White Palace when it became clear that the infection was spreading, so as to protect those inside, and that he then later died on the throne. Whichever the case, the Pale King is long since dead by the time the game starts, and Hallownest has fallen into ruin with most of its subjects dead. This, despite the fact that the OG Hollow Knight tried to contain The Radiance inside himself as he was born to do.

That brings us, one hundred years later, to the present day.

Hollow Knight is, by and large, a non-linear game. With few exceptions, your only limitations on where you can go and what you can do are your own skills. There are certain areas that require certain abilities, but so long as you have the skill to go get those abilities, you can easily unlock any area of the game you wish to explore. Thus, there is not one linear narrative to Hollow Knight. You can go where you choose provided you have the skill to do so.

That said, the game starts when the Knight drops into King’s Pass.

The Knight, as mentioned earlier, crawled his way up from The Abyss and made his way to the Howling Cliffs (and then King’s Pass) through some unknown method. What is known is this: At the start of the game, the Knight does not have any memories or idea of what he is doing there or why. When he reads the lore tablets spread around King’s Pass---the ones speaking to “Higher Beings,” which means him since he is a child of the Pale King---he isn’t aware of the fact that they are talking to him, despite bearing his image. The Knight heads to Dirtmouth because it is the closest town. He listens to the Elderbug because the Elderbug is there. And he descends into the ruins of Hallownest---the Forgotten Crossroads---because the Elderbug has told him that many who visit Dirtmouth do so in order to explore the ruins of Hallownest for riches or for their destiny, even though it is quite dangerous to do so.

With that being said, the lore described in depth above is largely what the Knight comes to discover on his journey through Hallownest. Believe me, there are new things and people encountered as well. The Knight encounters Myla, a young girl mining in Crystal Peak, who eventually succumbs to infection and becomes a husk herself, losing her sunny disposition. He encounters Zote, a young man who dreams of glory, but who has a rotten attitude and no skills with which to back his boastful claims. He encounters Bretta, a very shy girl originally from Dirtmouth, who hero worships him for saving her life until she buys into Zote’s lies. But as the Knight journeys through Hallownest, he learns just how far the kingdom truly has fallen. And he learns, after passing into the Resting Grounds and encountering the spirits of the Dreamers, that if the Seals are to be broken and the infection is to be faced, he must kill all three Dreamers and fully awaken the Dream Nail given to him by the Seer after the Dreamers trap him in “the space between body and soul.”

Essentially, the Knight:

Travels to the City of Tears and kills Lurien the Watcher

Travels to the Fog Canyon and kills Monomon the Teacher (with the assistance of her star pupil, Quirrel, who says this is what Monomon ultimately wanted)

Travels to Deepnest and kills Herrah the Beast (while her daughter Hornet watches, if certain conditions are met)

The certain conditions mentioned above are that the Knight gained his elder half-sister’s approval by defeating her in battle twice: Once in Greenpath near the start of his adventure, and later in Kingdom’s Edge near the end. After being defeated in Kingdom’s Edge, Hornet urges the Knight to go accept the King’s Brand. Once he does, he is able to let himself into The Abyss (previously sealed) and learn the truth behind his birth, gaining Shadow Dash in the process. After this has been done, Hornet begins to feel hope that perhaps he can do more than simply take the OG Hollow Knight’s place---that perhaps he truly can put an end to the infection once and for all. This is why she stands by and allows the Knight to kill her mother, though she admits that it causes her pain to do so.

In addition to this, the Knight (if the player so chooses) also:

Collects 1800 essence using the Dream Nail, awakening it fully

Enters the White Palace to obtain the Pale King’s half of the Kingsoul (after obtaining the first half from the White Lady in Queen’s Gardens)

Travels back into The Abyss to learn the full truth behind his birth and changes the Kingsoul into Void Heart, thus fully accepting and mastering the Void within himself

Essence is dream energy that is contained within the spirits and souls of the dead. By using the Dream Nail on spirits who are ready to pass on (but have been tethered to the earth), the Knight collects essence within the Dream Nail. 1800 essence awakens the Dream Nail fully, allowing the Knight to access even the most protected of minds (for yes, the Dream Nail allows the Knight to enter minds as well). This allows the Knight entry into the White Palace . . . but it also allows the Knight entry into the mind of the OG Hollow Knight himself. The Dream Nail, as it were, is given to the Knight by the Seer after the Dreamers (in an attempt to protect their Seals even though they know the OG Hollow Knight is nearing his limit) trapped the Knight in the Dreamscape, in “the space between body and soul.” The Seer gave the Knight the Dream Nail so that he could escape the Dreamscape, and then gave him instructions (and motivation through positive reinforcement and prizes for reaching milestones) on how to collect essence and fully awaken it. The Seer remained in the Resting Grounds, but guided the Knight every step of the way.

Note 1: It is unclear what the Seer’s true motivations were for doing this. Once 2400 essence is collected, she gives the Knight her backstory (as explained above) and then “ascends.” In her backstory, she asks the Knight to not remember her or her clan, saying they don’t deserve it. However, she also harbors clear bitterness toward her clan for turning their backs on The Radiance, so she could mean that they don’t deserve to be remembered not because they worshiped an evil (or at least very morally questionable) being, but because they betrayed her in the first place. If that is the case, then since the Dream Nail is used to access The Radiance within the OG Hollow Knight, it could be said that her plan was to have The Radiance be set free. On the other hand, the Knight ultimately ends up killing The Radiance for good in the true ending, something you would think the Seer would recognize he was capable of. As such, the Seer’s true motivations still remain unclear, as does whether she also had sapience on par with the Pale King, particularly given that she seems to have known Nightmare King Grimm given the poem she wrote for the Hunter’s Journal in his entry.

Note 2: It is also unclear exactly what happens to the spirits who are hit with the Dream Nail. Some believe they are “killed” for a second time, and destroyed utterly. Others believe they are taken into the Dream Nail and trapped there. Still others (such as myself) believe they are allowed to pass onto the afterlife, whereas before they were tethered to the earth. It is unclear which is true, because that information is never given in the game to my knowledge. However . . .

Note 3: Essence seems to be dream energy. The Dreamers seem to be made of essence while in the Dreamscape, as do the Dream Bosses you fight as boss rematches. Furthermore, when The Radiance is killed, she dissolves into essence as well. Therefore, essence seems to be the same light energy that The Radiance is comprised of, seems to be dream energy . . . and if that is the case, that would suggest that what is collected into the Dream Nail is not the ghosts themselves, but rather energy that they had stored within them as they move on. However, again, that is speculation.

Depending on the Knight’s actions over the course of his adventure, three possible endings to said adventure are possible.

Ending 1: If the Knight does not fully awaken the Dream Nail (and thus does not acquire the Void Heart), then he will face the OG Hollow Knight completely alone. When he wins, and kills the OG Hollow Knight, the Knight is taken into chains and is turned into the new Vessel for The Radiance, and is sealed inside the Black Egg. However, since the Knight did not obtain the Void Heart, it is implied that he is not truly hollow therefore (because remember, he was a failed Vessel, tossed into The Abyss to die), which means that ultimately he will not be able to contain The Radiance or infection. Moreover, there are no Seals on the egg, meaning the infection will leak out that much more quickly. The end is nigh for the world. This ending is known as “The Hollow Knight” ending.

Ending 2: If the Knight did fully awaken the Dream Nail and obtain the Void Heart, Hornet will be waiting inside the Temple of the Black Egg (but just outside the egg itself, since it would drain her if she were to enter due to the fact that she does not have Void powers herself) when he goes to face the OG Hollow Knight. Here, she finally acknowledges the Knight as her sibling (while also acknowledging the OG Hollow Knight as the same). Once the Knight has weakend the OG Hollow Knight enough, Hornet will enter the scene and bind the OG Hollow Knight in thread, allowing the Knight the opportunity to strike him with the Dream Nail. If the Knight forsakes this opportunity and keeps attacking normally, Hornet is thrown off the OG Hollow Knight and knocked unconscious. This time, when the Knight defeats the OG Hollow Knight and takes his place in the chains, Hornet is sealed inside the Black Egg with him. She becomes a new Dreamer, and her mask appears as a Seal on the outside of the egg as a result. Since the Knight was truly hollow (due to obtaining the Void Heart) things should be fine . . . but if they are not, the world is screwed, because Hornet’s Seal cannot be broken, since she cannot be reached inside the Black Egg. This ending is known as the “Sealed Siblings” ending.

Ending 3: If the Knight fully awakened the Dream Nail and obtained the Void Heart, then everything that happened in the second ending happens here as well. The primary difference is that, when Hornet restrains the OG Hollow Knight, the Knight strikes him with the Dream Nail. This allows the Knight to enter the OG Hollow Knight’s mind, whereupon the Knight challenges The Radiance to a fight. Upon dealing enough damage to The Radiance, the OG Hollow Knight’s Shade appears on the scene, and attacks her in such a way that he splits her open. At that point, her light disintegrates the Knight’s physical body, but he continues striking her as a Shade. Moreover, the Siblings rise from The Abyss in order to help as well, and ultimately, The Radiance dies screaming while The Void consumes what is left of her (and essence, as previously mentioned, pours out of her). The Void consumes the Black Egg utterly, and when it is done, Hornet (who had been knocked unconscious once again) comes to inside the Temple. When she looks over her shoulder, she sees the Knight’s mask, cleaved entirely in half, the rest of the Knight disintegrated as previously mentioned. The Siblings sink into The Void in The Abyss, their task completed. The cycle is broken, The Radiance is gone, the infection has been permanently cleared out, and while Hornet lives and has her freedom, both of her half-brothers (older and younger) are dead. This ending is known as the “Dream No More” ending, and is also widely considered to be the true one.

Note 1: While the OG Hollow Knight had been corrupted and taken by The Radiance (and largely used as a puppet by her during the fight, as evidenced when he’s lifted off the ground and slammed into the Knight repeatedly, as if he’s a ragdoll), he still had some semblence of consciousness left. This is exemplified by his thought of “Father . . .” when Dream Nailed, as well as the fact that, halfway through the fight, he begins repeatedly stabbing himself in an effort to kill The Radiance / defeat himself so that he won’t be able to hurt (or worse, kill) his little brother anymore. (True, that reasoning behind why he injures himself is speculation, but it makes more sense than the “he was doing it to gain power” theory that is sometimes kicked around, in my opinion.) It’s also exemplified when he, as a Shade, finally gets retribution on The Radiance in the final act of the fight against her, and gets to rip her open for his little brother to finish off. The OG Hollow Knight may have died, but he at least did so getting vengeance against the one who had cost him his entire life.

Note 2: It is unclear whether Hornet voluntarily became a Dreamer in an attempt to save at least her consciousness, or if that happened automatically since she was unconscious at the time the Knight was taken as the new Hollow Knight in the “Sealed Siblings” ending. We know that the Seal of Binding was used to cast the Dreamers into eternal sleep and create the Seals. We also know that a Seal of Binding can be found in the Weavers Den, in a room that is marked in the game files as “Hornet_room.” We also know that being inside the Black Egg would kill Hornet. As she herself says if you talk to her before you enter:

“I won't be joining you in this. That space is built to sustain your likes. Its bindings would drain me were I to join. Don't be surprised. I'll not risk my own life in your attempt, though if the moment presents I'll aid as I'm able.”

(Note: Hornet telling the Knight to not be surprised implies the Knight can feel emotion, which might suggest that, even with the Void Heart, the Knight is not truly hollow. This contradicts the White Lady saying she can sense no emotion from the Knight after he obtains the Void Heart, but then again, just because the White Lady can’t sense emotion doesn’t mean it isn’t there, and Hornet certainly seemed to pick up on something.)

While it is true that the Dreamers are killed to break their Seals, it should be noted that the Knight never harms their physical bodies in the waking world. Rather, he kills them in the Dreamscape. It’s possible that the Seal of Binding protects their physical bodies, or at the very least keeps them alive in the Dreamscape. Therefore, Hornet may have cast the Seal of Binding in an effort to preserve her own life, since otherwise she would slowly die inside the Black Egg.

Note 3: DLC featuring Hornet as a playable character has been confirmed to be on the way. While we do not know when this DLC takes place, Hornet appears to be child-sized in her playable sprite, which would imply that it will be prequel DLC. However, we’re still not positive on that. Nonetheless, that will surely shed more insight on Hornet’s character, as well as her backstory.

As a final note: It would be remiss to mention DLC without talking about one important piece of story-based DLC that was introduced in a DLC pack not too long ago:

The Grimm Troupe.

It is known that The Radiance and the Pale King were deity-like creatures, or at least that they had godlike powers and were worshiped accordingly by the bugs in the land. Yet although he is not quite worshiped in the same way, there is another being that seems to be on par with The Radiance and the Pale King, even if his powers manifest decidedly differently.

I am talking, of course, about Troupe Master / Nightmare King Grimm.

(That is Grimm in both his Troupe Master and Nightmare King forms.)

The Grimm Troupe DLC begins when the Knight discovers the Nightmare Lantern in Howling Cliffs and lights it as per the instructions. The lighting of the Nightmare Lantern summons the Grimm Troupe (which is a nightmarish carnival) to Dirtmouth, much to the dismay of all the citizens therein. When the Knight returns to Dirtmouth and speaks to Troupe Master Grimm, Grimm explains that since the Knight is the one who summoned them, the Knight has elected to take part in the Ritual. While Grimm never truly explains what the Ritual is for, his instructions on what to do to complete the Ritual are clear: the Knight must take the Grimmchild Charm, which summons a Grimmchild familiar (Grimm’s own child, it should be made clear), and collect scarlet flames from the Grimmkin which are scattered across the map. (The Grimmkin only appear when the Grimmchild Charm is equipped.) Every time the Knight collects three flames, he must return to Grimm in order to allow the Grimmchild to grow. (And specifically, on the second visit, the Knight and Grimm actually fight, and when the Knight wins, the Grimmchild reaches its second to last stage, and the Knight is sent after the last three flames.)

Now, here is where the story can diverge, and there are once again multiple endings.

The first, and most easy to obtain, ending is known as the Banishment Ending. When the Knight travels to Deepnest to acquire the flame there, he meets the troupe’s accordion player, Brumm. Brumm explains to the Knight that all those within the Grimm Troupe are slaves, but that the Knight himself seems to lack a master. That being the case, Brumm urges the Knight to meet him at the Nightmare Lantern site to put an end to the cycle. If the Knight does so, and destroys the Nightmare Lantern as Brumm instructs, then the Grimm Troupe is banished, the Ritual incomplete. The Grimmchild Charm vanishes, and is replaced by the Carefree Melody Charm, while Brumm has been freed from his slavery within the Grimm Troupe (his memories of said time taken from him), and decides to take up playing the accordion in Dirtmouth instead, under the name of Nymm.

The second, and decidedly more difficult, ending is known as the Ritual Ending. As the name suggests, in this ending the Knight completes the Ritual despite Brumm’s request. After collecting the last three flames, the Knight returns to the Grimm Troupe’s carnival, and uses the Dream Nail on a sleeping Grimm. This initiates the Nightmare King Grimm fight, which is immensely more difficult than the original Troupe Master battle. Nevertheless, when the Knight defeats Nightmare King Grimm, he and his carnival vanish forever . . . but the Grimmchild reaches its fourth and final stage of maturity, and it is heavily implied that the Grimmchild will one day become the new Troupe Master Grimm himself.

How is this implied, you ask?

First, you must understand the nature of Grimm. While Grimm’s lore is never specifically spelled out (this would not be Hollow Knight if it was), his lore is told through a series of journal entries in the Hunter’s Journal, with the entries for Grimm himself being particularly notable . . . because they are for once not written by the Hunter.

Here is Troupe Master Grimm’s entry:

“Through dream I travel, at lantern’s call, to consume the flames of a kingdom’s fall.”

That entry, as you can see, was written by Grimm himself. And as for the entry for Nightmare King Grimm . . .

“The expanse of dream in past was split, one realm must now stay apart; darkest reaches, beating red, terror of sleep: the Nightmare’s Heart.”

. . . this was written by the Seer.

As mentioned previously, Grimm seems to be an entity on par with The Radiance and the Pale King. This is even further supported by what Troupe Master Grimm is thinking if you hit him with the Dream Nail after the first fight:

“Masterful! Even a vessel discarded bears fierce strength. Fine craft dear Wyrm, and perfect tool to prolong the heart of Grimm.”

Grimm knows that the Knight is a discarded Vessel, implying that he knew full well what the Pale King’s plan was, and what a failed Vessel looks like. Moreover, he addresses the Pale King as Wyrm, which only those who were truly familiar with him (such as the White Lady) did. This implies that Grimm knew the Pale King on a personal level, even if they weren’t friends, and given how the White Lady reacts when she is spoken to with the Grimmchild Charm equipped, it certainly seems that friends they were not.

That aside, pay attention to the journal entries. Grimm himself says that he travels through dreams, while the Seer writes of “one realm” being kept apart from the other, even though both realms existed in “the expanse of dream.” Keep in mind that the Seer’s clan worshiped (at least for a time) The Radiance, that The Radiance was filled with dream energy (essence) and also wrested control and infected bugs via dreams, that the Seer herself was in possession of the Dream Nail, and that she could gauge how much essence was collected within it. If The Radiance wrested control of bugs via dreams and communicated with them therein---and if she was filled with essence, which looks exactly like the scarlet flames that the Knight collects from the Grimmkin, save that the “essence” that wafts off the Grimmkin is bright red---then that would imply that Grimm and The Radiance have a very similar origin. It would seem, given the journal entries, that the primary difference is that The Radiance operated within dreams, while Grimm operates in nightmares. 

Consider, too, how and when they operate.

The Radiance was trying to rule over a kingdom that was, at least at first, alive and thriving. The bugs she ruled over didn’t have sapience (for the most part), but they were originally alive. She only zombified them after the Pale King banished her the first time. Even then, her infection is spread via still living bugs, even if she later takes them over as zombified husks. With Grimm, however, he is called when kingdoms fall; it is unclear how the Nightmare Lantern comes to exist in various kingdoms, but what is clear is that it is lit when a kingdom is falling, or has fallen. Someone will be called to light the Nightmare Lantern to begin the ritual so that the Nightmare King can feast upon the dying embers of the kingdom. It’s possible that the scarlet flames that the Nightmare King needs---this bright, vivid red “essence”---is borne from the fears of the bugs still living in a kingdom that has fallen to ruin. That, however, is speculation. Regardless, we know that Grimm moves “through dreams,” and that The Radiance also exists within the dreamscape. Grimm seems to be very aware of the Pale King on a personal level, just as the White Lady is very aware of the Grimm Troupe and what their intentions are. All of this seems to suggest that Grimm is on the same level as The Radiance and the Pale King.

Note 1: Though the “expanse of dream” was “split” and the Nightmare Realm was forced to “stay apart,” I’m of the opinion that The Radiance and Grimm rely on each other to some extent. Were it not for The Radiance spreading infection and ruin throughout Hallownest, it’s very likely that Hallownest would not have fallen (at least not like this), and thus the Nightmare Lantern would have never been lit, Grimm would have never been summoned, and the Ritual could not have been carried out. On the other hand, nightmares are necessary in order for good dreams to exist; people wouldn’t cling so tightly to good dreams if nightmares weren’t there to frighten them. Therefore, in an odd way, The Radiance needed Grimm as well. It’s unclear why the Nightmare Realm was banished or separated from the Dreamscape the way it was, but in my opinion they seem like two halves of the same whole.

Note 2: As mentioned, the White Lady does not like Grimm at all. Here is what she has to say if you speak to her with the Grimmchild Charm equipped, before completing the Ritual:

“Ahh, that creature beside. It would be naive to claim it friend, though you two share a . . . similarity? It is a distant link, one words would strain to convey. For it to cling to you now . . . you've been consumed in the ritual of that scarlet clan. In what poor moment they descend upon our ruin. Aid their propagation, if you so choose, but do not renege on the larger task this kingdom implores.”

The White Lady clearly states that it would be naive to consider the Grimmchild a “friend,” even though she admits that the Grimmchild and the Knight share a similarity (that similarity being, I would assume, that they are both the children of deity-like beings---the Grimmchild being Grimm’s . . . child, and the Knight being the Pale King’s). She also refers to the Grimm Troupe as “that scarlet clan,” showing that she has familiarity with them, as was implied by the fact that Grimm was on a first-name basis with the Pale King.

And if you speak to her after the Ritual has been completed, and Grimmchild has reached its final stage of maturation . . .

“Your companion's eyes burn with a familiar flame . . . success, then, for the scarlet heart, and irony, to use my spawn to grow its own. I know you, creature, and the form time shall bring. You may be all and one, clan and master, but this land shall never bear so foreign a king.”

She refers to the Grimmchild as “creature” in a way that carries scorn, and tells it outright that it will never be the king of Hallownest. She does not seem at all pleased by the fact that the Knight completed the Ritual, nor does she seem accepting of the Grimmchild at all. The White Lady knows full well what the Ritual is and what the purpose of it is, and she does not in the least bit approve.

That said, what is the purpose of the Ritual?

Again, it is largely speculation; but what we do know is this:

The Grimm Troupe appears either when a kingdom is dying, or when it has already died, thanks to the lighting of the Nightmare Lantern.

The one who lit the Nightmare Lantern is assigned a Grimmchild, whom they then raise and grow via collecting scarlet flames from Grimmkin.

The one who is raising the Grimmchild fights Grimm twice: Once in the waking world, once in the Dreamscape.

Once Grimm is defeated for the final time, he disappears, and the Grimmchild reaches its final stage of maturation. The Troupe, too, vanishes at this point.

Now, while Grimm vanishes, in my opinion it is heavily implied that he dies. First, we see this happen with others---namely, the Dreamers; when they are killed in the Dreamscape, they are killed in the waking world as well. Grimm is fought as Nightmare King Grimm in the dreamscape as the culmination of the Ritual, and he disappears after, just as the Dreamers do (and as The Radiance does, I might add). The Grimmchild then reaches stage four maturation, which is the final stage. In the Hunter’s Journal, this is the entry for the Grimmkin Master:

“A spark of red lights, darkest dream. Scarlet nightmares, bright and wild; visions dance and flames do speak: ‘Burn the father, feed the child.’“

This, to me, seems to speak of the purpose of the Ritual, or at least what the Ritual does as the Knight completes it. After all, this entry was written by The Grimm Troupe themselves, and follows the first entry for the Grimmkin Novice, which reads:

“Shadows dream of endless fire; flames devour and embers swoop. One will light the Nightmare Lantern: Call and serve in Grimm’s dead Troupe.”

This entry describes how the Grimm Troupe is summoned, and the second describes how the Ritual is carried out. The “spark of red lights, darkest dream” refers to the Nightmare Essence, as do “scarlet nightmares, bright and wild.” And as for the rest . . . well, it speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

Burn the father, feed the child.

In order for the Grimmchild to reach full maturation, Grimm himself must die. He dies via the Knight killing him as the final act in the Ritual. When he does, the Grimmchild fully matures, and as the White Lady says, he will eventually take Grimm’s place. We can glean that from this line:

“You may be all and one, clan and master . . .”

The Grimmchild will become the new master of the Grimm Troupe at some point (and will, it seems, try to take over as king of the ruined Hallownest, though the White Lady asserts it will not succeed). The Ritual, it seems, is to find a new Troupe leader. Whether this is because Grimm was already dying and needed to find an heir, or Grimm started to die once the lantern was lit, or Grimm was just wiling to die once the lantern was lit, is unclear. What is clear, though, is the the Ritual was created in order to perpetuate the Grimm Troupe, and that Grimmchild will eventually become the new Troupe Master / Nightmare King. (Unless the Ritual is aborted and the Troupe is banished, in which I suppose Grimm might die without ever finding an heir . . . but I’m not positive of that. That is speculation.)

Regardless, Grimm certainly seems on par with The Radiance and the Pale King. If they are both deities, then it seems Grimm is as well.

There is one more DLC pack being released next month (Gods & Glory) that will have more story content. So this post will be updated once we have more lore. But at the moment, this is the Hollow Knight lore as I understand it. I love this game . . . I really love this game. There’s still so much I feel I don’t know even though I have . . . I think my file said 106% completion? And I’ve put 85+ hours into it, according to my Switch play records. This game is aesthetic af and while part of me wishes the lore was a little easier to obtain and not so easy to miss, at the same time, I love that it offers so much to think about and speculate on, rather than spoonfeeding everything to the audience. It’s nice. (You know, despite all the death. Seriously, there is a lot of death. There are corpses all over the place in this game. Corpses everywhere. There’s no escaping the corpses.)

 Anyway, I will update this as I learn more lore. But in the meantime . . . here’s this.

[ayearofpike]

See You Later

Pocket Books, 1990 226 pages, 15 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-74390-2 LOC: PZ7.P626 Bo 2012 (Bound To You compilation) OCLC: 746155163 Released July 15, 1990 (per B&N)

Sometimes it is hard to know what we want coming out of school. That might be even more true for those with congenital physical disabilities who don’t really expect to survive much past graduation. But when Mark meets Becky, for the first time he thinks he might actually know. Becky sure does, anyway – at least, an older and wiser future Becky who comes back in time to break up with her then-boyfriend-now-husband and get together with Mark, thinking that this very act will affect the future of all of humanity. 

First things first: More than anything else, See You Later is a love story. Even though it’s got elements in common with Pike’s earlier stuff, this book is not a horror story, a detective story, a straight-sci-fi story, or a murder mystery. It’s a romance from the point of view of a dude, which makes it the first of these books to use only a male POV and only the second to use the first person. It’s got computers, a space station, murder, and thermonuclear war, yeah, but the core of the story is Mark’s growing feelings toward Becky and his despair at the possibility of her returning them. It retains enough Pike that you can recognize his characterizations and stylistic devices, but it’s really not what anybody would expect to come out of this dude’s pen if they’ve read the 14 books that came before it.

That said? It’s one of my top five favorites. It carried me through my lovesick teen years, and rereading it this week brought back all the feels.

I first encountered See You Later around the time I started to notice girls and think that maybe I would like to be affectionate with one. Before this point (maybe around the end of eighth grade) everything I wrote was a straight-up spy heist, but after it I caught relationship drama sneaking into my stories. I eventually realized it was my imagination manifesting the girl I was too shy and scared to talk to, the one I’d built up as the image of perfection and the key to my happiness, and allowing my protagonist to get her without actually having to do anything. Like, maybe I should just let the first paragraph of this book do the talking for me.

It began with a smile, or at least that’s what I thought. But then, I didn’t think much when I was eighteen. I just longed for things I didn’t have, and reacted when they came to me and I no longer wanted them. But love ... I always wanted to be in love, and to have love, and to pretend they were one and the same thing. I was like everybody else, I suppose, and I thought I was so different. I had to find that one girl who was so different, so perfect – who would accept me just the way I was.

It’s both the reality of my existence in high school and the problem of teen masculinity in general: I just expected things to happen for me, especially love. We’re told that if we behave in a certain specific way, the circumstances of our picture-perfect life will just fall into place around us. You can either be a rich jock asshole who cons girls into falling for your status and biceps, or you can quietly support and compliment them until they realize the rich jock assholes are not where it’s at and that the nice guy they’ve always wanted has been there the whole time. We’re familiar with the inherent problems of the nice guy model in 2018, but in 1991 it was just the way to go, not to mention way more attainable for the shy band geek on the honor roll.

I’m not sure that Mark completely fits into this mold. He certainly takes his destiny more firmly into his own hands by actually asking Becky out, rather than only hanging around all the time and hoping her boyfriend magically disappears and that she sees the light of his presence. (Although he does that too.) He is definitely the shy nerdy type, a computer programmer who avoids his high school graduation and has disavowed his abusive family and is sickly due to a heart defect. He could just hang out at Becky’s store all the time and bemoan his poor luck of being born sick and growing up nerdy and unsupported, and face whatever is fated to come his way however Becky decides. But this is Pike, so there’s got to be something more to the plot than that.

On one of his visits to the store, Mark sees a weirdly familiar guy over in the corner, reading the copy on the box of one of his games. It turns out the dude is also a game designer, and wants Mark to come and critique the most recent one he’s written. While at his house, Mark meets his girlfriend, another weirdly familiar person despite her not looking or sounding like anyone he’s ever met (he doesn’t know anyone with long blonde curls and a Scottish accent). She takes an immediate interest in Mark’s pursuit of Becky and decides to help by getting the boyfriend out of the way. So she goes to the bookstore where he works and gets him to ask her out, then goes to Becky’s store and pretends to recognize her from a picture in her “cousin’s” wallet. This, of course, immediately gets Becky to break up with the dude and ask Mark out the same day. They have a great time, they spend the night together, and in the morning when he calls she hangs the fuck up on him.

Wait, what? This certainly wasn’t in Mystery Girl’s plans. It turns out that the boyfriend got wise to the plan and told Becky all about how Mark planned the entire breakup, using his blonde Scottish friend to trick the guy into going out with her so that Becky would be free for Mark to snap up. The girl realizes that something’s up, that the boyfriend has been warned by someone else, and while she’s screaming at him about it, whoops, her accent falls off and she reveals she was faking the whole time. However, we do learn that the whistleblower is a dangerous man, and that the mystery girl wasn’t counting on him following her, and that even though Mark has no idea what’s going on he knows it’s way bigger than he had previously thought.

I’ve already laid this out in the intro, sort of, but here’s the whole thing: In the future, Becky marries her boyfriend and Mark dies of his heart disorder. (And loneliness, it’s implied.) The boyfriend husband joins the Air Force, is quickly promoted to general, and is assigned command of a military space station that is supposedly only for scientific research but which everybody knows boasts an enormous arsenal of weapons. In the global argument over this space station, the general gets an itchy trigger finger, and decides to win once and for all by nuking China. Of course this leads to global war that more or less wipes out human life on the planet, and the space station is crippled and houses about a hundred survivors, including Becky, all of whom cluster together and pray for forgiveness as the air runs out. (Except the general, who is “too busy” – presumably still bombing brown people.)

Then the aliens show up. Only they’re not defined as we would expect. These aliens are nothing more than fuzzy balls of light, and there’s one for each human on the ship. They use their undefined advanced technology to clean up a chunk of Los Angeles and make it a beautiful garden, where Becky can spend the rest of her days in peace and happiness. Only she’s not happy, because she’s still thinking about how things might have been different if she’d married Mark instead of this ruthless warlord. Wasn’t it her support, her help, her forsaking of her own career plans to allow his to grow, that made this dude able to control the country’s nuclear arsenal? Conveniently, right about here the aliens offer Becky a deal: go back to any point in her own life and make some kind of a change to increase her own happiness. They also somehow resurrect Mark and send him back with her.

You guessed it: the weirdly-familiar people are Becky and Mark from the future. Future-Becky’s goal for happiness is to break her past self up with her boyfriend and start her going out with Mark. Future-Mark’s goal is more benign: world peace. See, the game he’s got Mark testing is completely based on the war, and just like with the real war there’s no way to win – UNLESS you decline to launch any weapons from the very start. Unfortunately, the time travelers don’t have a clean palette to paint from, because Future-Becky’s husband has learned about the plan and has traveled to the same time, not to save his relationship but to ruin Becky’s. He thinks that she’s held him back, restrained him, made him too soft, and without her mitigating influence he will be able to successfully blow the shit out of the other side of the globe. Sure, you could argue that this same timeline would be effected without his interference, but then again, he’s a vengeful asshole. She ruined his life; why should she be happy? And what easier way to make her unhappy than to kill the dude who would replace him?

To Future-Becky’s reckoning, there’s only one possible solution: kill the boyfriend before he can become the grizzled, vengeful general, and do it tonight before the full moon is at its highest point in the sky and all the time travelers phase out of existence. All Mark can think to do is ask Becky for advice on how she would kill her boyfriend. And of course she knows, having just broken up with him – she’d run him down with her car as he left his store at night. Which is exactly what Future-Becky tries to do. Only Becky doesn’t have the baggage of thirty-plus years of a shitty marriage, and she runs out in front of the car to warn the boyfriend, and it’s going too fast to stop.

The boyfriend rushes Becky to the hospital, and Mark plans to follow, only Future-Becky knows there’s no point and takes him back to a cave in the hills behind her house. This cave has been around throughout the story, but it’s only here that Mark realizes it’s the time-travel point. It doesn’t hurt that the husband is hanging out there waiting for them. It doesn’t help either, as he’s got a gun and plans to kill Mark right there. So Mark has to talk fast. 

Something I didn’t mention before is that with a little effort, the time-shifted variants of the people can experience what the other half is doing. Mark did it before, when the husband kidnapped and killed Future-Mark and we learned what his plans were. Mark asks the others to do it now, to see the pain brought on by Becky dying in the hospital, to remind them of how they once cared for each other. And lo and behold, they remember why they got married in the first place, what was there before they felt trapped and resentful and eventually forgot that wasn’t the original point of their relationship, nor the only way it had ever been.

In the morning, the time travelers are gone, Becky is dead, and Mark and the boyfriend have to explain to the police how and why it happened. This is a formidable effort, considering that a) the only other witness, the mall security guard, was stoned out of his gourd and b) nobody except for the two of them knows, remembers, or even saw any evidence that there were future alternates hanging around and fucking shit up. Like, the car Future-Becky was driving when she smashed into her past self? No such car, no such license plate, no record of sale. So the security guard saw Becky bleeding on the ground, he figures there must have been a car – but he didn’t see it, didn’t hear it, didn’t see Future-Becky standing there mourning herself. The boyfriend is furious, and moreso when Mark adopts the same line. But eventually he catches on, and when Mark tells him what happened in the hospital (something Mark couldn’t possibly know, not having been there) he seems to accept that some things are magical and unexplainable.

So this leaves us to wax philosophical about what the hell just happened, as Mark dies of his heart defect ten years after the story’s events. This part stinks of mansplaining a little bit. Future-Becky described the events of the war and the time travel quite thoroughly, but Mark doesn’t believe she actually knew everything and proceeds to give his own version of events. I don’t know where he gets off, but it is true that he has no plans to save himself for future medical care, and doesn’t even know of the possibility existing as she described. So he has to come up with something, and his something is more metaphysical than science fiction. He thinks that the “aliens” are actually time travelers from a farther distant future than we know, a time when our souls manifest as light rather than in physical bodies – that Future-Becky was being helped and guided by Even-Farther-Future-Becky. This helps to clear up some of the inconsistencies in Future-Becky’s story, true, and maybe we should grant a dying man some clemency as he’s thinking about his mortality and the fate of the future. And yes, a lot of this is coming from me being like another ten years along from Mark dying, and more enlightened by nearly thirty years of societal progress since the story itself was written. But still, he wasn’t even fucking there.

Nonetheless, I really enjoyed rereading this story. It’s the tightest Pike’s written so far in terms of characters: technically, there are only three, leaving out the security guard and the cop at the end (who I think pretty much only exists because our dude can’t resist writing detective interrogation scenes). There’s almost no fat to cut, though the epilogue goes a little farther than is strictly necessary. And honestly, it was warmly nostalgic for my years of thinking I knew myself and what I wanted and needed and actually not knowing dick. That’s where Mark ends up, after all: not knowing, and realizing that’s OK. We might still wonder how this possibly came from the same dude who wrote revenge murderers and sexy lizard teens, but as we analyze what came next (and probably was written before and during this one), it’ll start to make sense. Maybe.

[dragonasheswrites-blog]

The Heaven We Didn’t Choose, Chapter 15: In Which Sans is Hired

...But does it really count if he doesn’t have a choice?

First: Chapter 1: In Which a Child Makes a Friend

Previous: Chapter 14: In Which Much is Explained

Next: Chapter 16: In Which Monsters Celebrate

Click here for the story overview.

Sans followed the path from the Judgement Hall through the grey corridor to the king’s garden.  It had been years since he’d been there but the flowers looked the same as they ever did: bright green and yellow, providing comically cheerful contrast to the dilapidated and faded walls of the palace and the violence that took place within.

Like the hall, the throne room appeared to be undergoing renovations.  Parts of the crumbling walls had been torn down and cleared away, and there were a few pallets of stone brick waiting to be put in place.

“Frisk insisted on making our home a little more presentable, now that we have the resources,” the king said from somewhere behind Sans.

He jumped.  For such a big monster, Asgore sure was quiet when he wanted to be.  “Your majesty,” he mumbled with a sharp bow.

“Sans.”  Asgore passed him and continued on to the thrones in the center of the room, settling himself on the largest one.  Tori’s, which had been a mess of bent metal for as long as he could remember, had been either rebuilt or repaired and placed at Asgore’s right.  To his left was a smaller, simpler chair with the Delta Rune carefully painted across the top.

It took Sans a moment to realize that he was distracted by the scenery.  He jerked his attention back to his king.  “S-sorry.”

“Do pay attention.  I called you here to discuss you taking up a certain job you previously held.”  He held out one giant paw.  It took Sans a moment to register that a small, familiar badge was being offered to him.

It was...not unexpected; after Undyne’s unsubtle hints that morning, it was one of the outcomes he’d considered.  Still, he felt his knees shaking.  That badge - a small, black circle with an insignia heavily embroidered in red - was something he’d never hoped to see again.

He took it carefully, ensuring that his sharpened claws didn’t scratch the material.  “...Why?” he finally asked, not daring to glance up at the huge monster hovering over him.

“It is your position.  Just because you threw your badge away does not make you any less the Royal Judge.  You have been on hiatus, yes, but we have need of a Judge once again.”

Sans took a deep breath, trying to still himself and think.  “What...happened?  I thought we were getting along with humans?”

“Are you questioning your king?”  Asgore’s tone was one of idle curiosity, but the implied threat was clear.

“N-no, just trying to get the facts.”

The giant horned head tilted slightly in acknowledgement.  “That is...reasonable, considering your position.  Very well.

“About a month ago, my daughter - Ambassador Frisk Dreemurr - was attacked while recovering from a serious illness that nearly claimed her life.  I am told you were involved in that situation, correct?”

Sans nodded.

“The aggressor, a human woman who sought to weaken the Kingdom of Monsters, was apprehended by the Royal Guard soon after the fact.  She was passed into human custody in accordance with the agreements between our peoples, but the human courts did not...find enough evidence to punish her, or so we were told. The hospital's refusal to hand over certain documents did not help.

“The humans were persuaded to give us a say in the matter.  Since she attacked one of our citizens - a member of our royal family, no less - this woman has committed crimes against the Kingdom of Monsters directly.  We have agreed to judge her fairly in accordance with our laws.”

It made a sick, horrible kind of sense.  In the years since the fall of the Barrier, most monsters had moved to the surface.  Crime on the surface was dealt with by human cops and the Royal Guard, depending on jurisdiction.  Sans knew from living with the Vice Captain of the Guard that particularly serious or delicate cases were referred directly to Asgore or Tori, respectively.

Any incidents involving humans had, as far as he knew, been handled as diplomatic affairs and processed through the Embassy.  The humans hadn’t refused to punish one of their own who’d attacked a monster before; even before they were made citizens, humans had treated them fairly in that regard.

Then again, Frisk wasn’t biologically a monster.  In the eyes of humans, this was probably just a case of a human attacking another human. To monsters, this was a human attacking the most important monsters in the kingdom.

And there was one person in the Underground charged specifically - though not exclusively - with passing judgement upon humans who had wronged monsters.

“You will not be expected to take up all the duties of Judge right away,” Asgore said.  “You will focus on this singular case for the time being.  If another serious incident takes place between now and then, we shall adjust your duties accordingly.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Your conditions of employment are the same as they were previously.  That will change, given the circumstances, but for now you will be held to the terms you agreed to when you first took this position.  I still have your old contract if you wish to review it.  You may tell no one of your involvement and must keep to your normal schedule.  If we have need of you, either to judge a human or a monster, you shall be summoned and an appropriate excuse given.”

“‘kay.”

“What was that?”

“...Yes, your majesty.”

Asgore rose from his throne, looking out at the carpet of flowers.  “You have some time to prepare for the confrontation.  It has been delayed until after the holidays while we attempt to settle the diplomatic side.  Dr. Alphys has been ordered to give you access to any and all information you ask for without question; I recommend availing yourself of that.  Should the humans protest our judgement, we may need to give them evidence.”

“Yes, your majesty.  Uh...where will the judgement be held?”

“In the usual spot.  I am sure you saw the repairs in progress.  We have teams of monsters working to ensure that it will be ready for use by the appointed time.”

There was a long pause.  Sans tried to think of anything to say and came up short.  (He very deliberately did not laugh at that thought.)  The king was much more...stable than he’d been back in the old days, probably due to some serious therapy, but his temper was still unpredictable at best and explosive at worst.

“Very well,” Asgore said finally.  “You may go.  Either the queen or I will contact you in a few weeks to evaluate your progress and establish new parameters for you to operate under.”

“Thanks, your majesty.”

Sans ducked out of the throne room and leaned against a crumbling brick wall, trying to calm himself.  It felt like his soul was getting ready to pound out of his chest from the stress and anxiety.

He was alive, though.  That was good.

In his distraction, he forgot about Frisk’s weird barrier.  He wound up teleporting a little closer to it than he intended and instinctively braced himself against the harsh snap of her magic...only to be wrapped up in a big fuzzy blanket of happy curiosity and welcomeness that made his skull turn colors.

He wouldn’t have any trouble crossing that particular barrier for the time being, he thought wryly.

Of course, that could all change with his new job.  One of his claws worried at the edge of his badge.  Someone had cleaned it up a little; the familiar mustard stain and the ragged bit of cloth that should have been there from when he “retired” were both missing.

Did Frisk know Asgore had made him Judge once again?  Probably not, given her magic’s downright friendly reaction to him.  The one time he’d encountered Frisk as Judge, towards the end of her journey through the Underground, had been...well, unnecessarily harsh, to say the least.  It had been the catalyst for years of antagonism, and not without reason.  Despite what the law said he’d judged her unfairly, he knew; it was one of the reasons he’d tried to give it up.

(That, and the fall of the barrier made a glorious excuse for getting out of the job he hated the most.  He was a lazy asshole at heart, after all.)

To his surprise, Undyne was waiting at his sentry station.  She hid her flinch well, but he caught the tail end of it as he appeared and grounded himself back in reality.

“Uh, hey, Undyne?”

She grinned with all her teeth.  It looked like she still hadn’t gotten any rest.  “Hey, nerd.  Looks like you survived King Stabbybuns, huh.”

“Yeah…?  Why are you here…?”

“Figured I’d catch you on the way back.  Did he ask you?”

“Nope.”

There was a moment where Undyne tried to determine what he meant, and ultimately failed.  She settled for glaring at him with the dark hatred of one who hadn’t had nearly enough sleep to allow for higher brain functions.

He relented.  “When does he ever ask for anything?  Nope, he gave me my badge back and that was that.”

“Huh.  No arguments?  That doesn’t seem like you.”

“Hey, I’m stupid, not suicidal.  I’m not gonna piss ‘im off without a good reason.”

She hummed a little, lounging against his sentry station in a manner that fell just short of being casual.  “And...you’re gonna take the case?”

“...It’s part of the job?  I don’t think I have a choice?”

“Yeah, okay.”  She shifted a little.  “Listen.  So...Papyrus doesn’t have clearance to know about this.  Still.  We figured it would be better, given the circumstances.”

“Circumstances?”

“The Judge of Monsters is a position of respect and authority.  D’you think he’d actually show proper respect if he knew you were the Judge?  I mean, that’s true for most people-”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“SHUT UP!   Anyways, most people’d probably laugh if we told them that you were the Judge, but Papyrus would flip and that would look bad.  So don’t leave your stuff lying around the house or anything.”  She tossed him a key.  “Locker 237, down at the old Pumped Gym.  Papyrus won’t go near the place, the elitist bastard.  Don’t mind the look of the building; the people who run it are real friendly and shit.  Your locker is in the private section so you won’t have to watch naked humans running around.”

“Thanks…?”

She grinned sharply.  “Unless you wanna look at naked humans running around.  ‘Course, they’d be naked human guys, but-”

“Nope, nope, nope, done with this conversation.”

He tried to escape back towards town.  She caught up to him within seconds, still laughing - his short legs were a curse - and slowed down beside him.

“She doesn’t know.”

Sans glanced up.  “Uh, who doesn’t know?”

“Y’know who I’m talking about.  Well, actually, it could be two someones, but... you know.”

“...Spell it out for me?”

“FRISK!” Undyne growled through gritted fangs.  “Frisk doesn’t know, okay?  She has no idea.  Not very many people do; just me, you, and the king and queen. I don't know what happened between you and her before she broke the barrier, but she hasn't made the connection between you and the Judge.”

His mind reeled with the implication.  Frisk...didn’t know?  How??  He pushed the thought aside, glancing back towards his station.  “And the Royal Scientist.”

“Huh?”

“You were talking about it real openly near my sentry post.  I know for a fact that she’s got my station - probably every station - bugged.”

Something hard hit him in the skull without warning and he flinched, but his HP didn’t drop.  He caught the small objects before they fell.  There in his hand was a tiny microphone and a few of the little cameras Alphys favored, all of which had been crudely ripped away from their wires.  “I know when a place is bugged,” was Undyne’s excuse.

“Gee, thanks.  She’s gonna be pissed, and I’ve gotta deal with her to get the info I need for my job.”

“Then you won’t mind returning her stuff to her, right?”

Sans was tempted to throw the equipment right back at her, just on principle, but he shrugged and stuck it in a pocket of his jacket.  If Alphys went looking through her recordings for the person who’d disabled her cameras, she was going to see Undyne.  Watching her try to connect him to Undyne was going to be fun, if potentially explosive, especially with that obsession she had for the captain.

He sighed dramatically.  “If she dusts me, you’re my pick for the next Judge.”

“What??  You can’t be Judge AND Captain of the Royal Guard!”

“Exactly.”

“Tryin’ to get your brother promoted?”

“It’d serve him right.  Heh.  I’ve seen you after a few days on the job.  He’d finally be busy enough that I could grab a drink in peace.  Hell, maybe he’d wear himself out long enough to sleep through the night.”

Undyne snorted.  “Whatever.  I was actually up here for a job; we’re all pulling weird shifts to cover for Dogamy and Dogaressa while they’re out on family leave.”

“You didn’t say anything to me about that…”

“You’re pulling double shifts half the time anyways.  Besides, I know you doze off up here; we need someone actually awake and watching for humans.”

He waved her off and continued on past the outer barrier alone.

The talk with Asgore had been shorter than he expected; he had a couple hours before what should have been his second shift started.  He had some time to process that strange meeting and try to make sense of it.  Asgore was doing much better, but he’d been called the Mad Tyrant for a reason.  Still, Sans felt a little silly for being so nervous leading up to the the talk.

Then again...being appointed Royal Judge was nothing to take lightly.

Few knew the identity of the Judge - it kept the revenge killings to a minimum - so no one knew how the previous Judge had...left the post.  It had happened when Sans was a young teenager, still trying to make ends meet for him and Papyrus, so digging further into the circumstances hadn’t been his top priority.  What everyone did know was that the Judge hadn’t left an heir or an apprentice, so there was no line of succession.

Sans heard about the ‘auditions’ for a new Judge and had gone on a whim, giving some bullshit excuse to his brother for his absence.  It had been brutal.  Half his scars and most of his EXP had come from that one day.  Monsters had been pitted against each other in battle royales, then in groups and one-on-one combat: it had been a bloodbath.

To his surprise, though, it hadn’t just been an outright fight to the death.  All competitors were given masks and numbers to hide their identities from each other, so no one knew if the monsters they were fighting were friends or strangers unless they had the somewhat rare ability to detect the differences between monsters’ magics, or they recognized bullet patterns.  Some had taken advantage of that to gain as much LV as possible; others, like Sans, had taken a more cautious approach.

He’d never been told why he, of all the survivors, had been selected as the Judge.  He’d put up a good showing, but he’d hardly been the strongest person there.  No one had questioned him on his motives or his past.  His number had been called and he’d stepped into a small room with the King of Monsters, sure he was about to be dusted.

Instead he’d been given his badge, a uniform, and a small guidebook that had apparently been passed down from Judge to Judge.

It wasn’t a bad job, most of the time.  His main duty - judging humans who had committed crimes against monsters - had been considered a bit obsolete in the old Underground, but he’d still been called in to preside over a few cases each year that the king didn’t want to deal with.  The traditional stipend wasn’t anything to scoff at; it had paid for the house in Snowdin, even though Boss had declared himself the head of their little household soon after the move.

The guilt that came with the thought of that money was old and easily pushed aside.  Over the years he’d come to terms with the fact that he’d essentially been paid in advance to kill Frisk.

And he had.

Many times.

He was never quite sure how much she remembered of their fights.  Did she forget when she turned back time?  He closed his eye sockets, brow crinkled in thought.  His own memory had been patchy at best during back then, shredded by overexposure to time magic, but he thought he remembered...hadn’t she changed her stance?  Hadn’t she dodged differently after dying?  All the loops ran together; it was hard to tell.

There was no reason she wouldn’t have remembered, since she was the one in charge of the timelines, but...even after eight years of antagonism she’d never brought it up.  She had never asked if he remembered the way her weak human bones had crunched beneath the weight of his magic, if he still knew the smell of her blood on the tile floor.

She’d never asked why, after so many loops, he’d eventually just stepped aside and let her pass without a fight.

Then again, Undyne was under the impression that Frisk didn’t know the Judge’s identity.  Could it be that...that she really didn’t know it was him who’d killed her?  Had she hated him for years just for being himself, not for what he’d done to her?

That train of thought was making his knees shake and his head feel funny, so he shoved it aside.  He had a rare few hours to himself; he decided to check out the locker, then figure out whether he wanted to brave that lair of horrors Alphys called a lab.

Searching for the gym Undyne mentioned took his mind off more unpleasant things.  There were two “Pumped Gym” locations, according to the mapping app on his phone; he picked the closer one and teleported over.

If by “the old Pumped Gym” Undyne had meant “the old run-down, abandoned building that was a gym at one point,” then Sans had wound up in the right place.  It was located in one of the more monster-heavy areas of town, but it looked like it had been empty longer than monsters had been on the surface.  There was some suspicious movement in one of the windows and rather confusing (and possibly obscene) graffiti on the walls; nothing useful.  He ducked back into the alleyway he’d appeared in and teleported again.

The other location was bigger and much more lively.  It was a little shabby, sure, but there was a steady trickle of humans and monsters coming and going.  No one would question one more monster arriving.

Or so he thought.

“Hullo, mister!  Welcome to Pumped Gym!  How may I help you?” asked a bubbly young human woman behind a desk in the lobby.

Sans carefully placed the key from Undyne on the counter.  “My, uh, friend set me up with a locker.  Think she’s trying to trick me into exercising or somethin’.”

The change in the young woman’s face was immediate.  She looked at the tag on they keyring - a plain white plastic oval with his locker number and the gym’s logo - and nodded seriously.  “I’ll get my father.  Please wait right here; I’ll just be a minute.”

Almost exactly a minute later, a tanned, graying man in a tank top and sweats came out of the back room.  He was taller than Papyrus and had muscles that rivalled Undyne’s, but there was a keen intelligence in his piercingly blue eyes that made Sans shift uncomfortably in his sneakers.  This was one guy he didn’t want to face in a real fight.

“So you’re with the Captain of the Royal Guard, hmm?”

“Undyne...set the locker up for me, yeah.”

He eyed Sans for a long moment, then laughed.  Loudly.  “Well!  Any friend of ol’ Gills is a friend of mine!  Name’s Bruce Volks; come back this way and I’ll show you where we have you set up.”

Sans found himself ushered back behind the front desk, through a door marked “PRIVATE,” and down a flight of stairs.  The basement appeared to be composed of a single hallway bent into an angle, lined with yellow lights and numbered doors.  Bruce led him around a corner to a door near the end of the hallway.

“Gills said you’d need some privacy, and that you have your own ways into and out of places.  ‘S that true…uh, mister?”

“Uh, yeah.  And the name’s Sans.  Sans the skeleton.”

“Nice to meet’cha, Sans.  So.  Locker.”  He deftly opened the door with the key and waved Sans inside.  “Most folks share these rooms based on scheduling or preference, but you’ve got this one all t’yourself.  That locker in the corner is yours; feel free to put your own lock on it, or magic it up however you want.  Just don’t do anything we can’t take off when you’re done with it.  Actually,” he scratched his scruffy chin, “If you wanna do something awesome just ask me first.  If it’s cool enough, I’ll let you go for it.”

“Good to know.”  Sans could see why Undyne liked this guy.  He made an effort not to resort to his default crankiness; he didn’t want the captain angry at him.

“Let’s see...what else.  Oh!  Feel free to come and go as you want; front desk opens at 6 AM and closes at 10.  You technically have a membership if you wanna use it.  Though...from what Gills said, we won’t be seeing much of you upstairs.”

“Probably not.  Don’t really have any body to work out with.”

“Hahaha!  Guess not!  Well, if you need to come in after hours...just don’t go wandering around, if you get my drift.  Security won’t alert us if you’re just in this room, but if they catch you outside here they’ll investigate.  As for magic, we only ward our main locker rooms upstairs; these private areas are left up to you to put up whatever protection you want.  That means you’ll have to work around what other folks already have here, so keep that in mind.  D’ya need someone to do any spellwork for you?”

“Nah, I’ve got it.”

“A’right.  Well, I won’t keep you.  Let me or Tanya know if you need anything, okay, Sans?”

“Okay.”  The man was out the door before Sans realized that it probably would have been proper etiquette to thank him.  Oh well.

He looked around at the room he’d been provided.  It was a simple concrete cube, nothing fancy but sturdy enough to hold up under some serious use.  Along one wall sat the actual lockers with a bench in front of it; along the other was a longer bench and a mirror.  A small curtain along the far wall offered access to a toilet and shower.  Ignoring that, he stepped up to the lockers.

Undyne had been down there at some point, he noticed.  A new combination lock sat on the shelf inside the first locker in the row, enthusiastically bright packaging letting him know how difficult it would be to crack and how he could go about setting a combination.  Sans snorted; it was a nice gesture, but he didn’t need it.  Plus, he’d been picking locks like this one since he was a babybones, fresh on the streets.

Neatly hung up on a bar below the shelf was his uniform.  It looked the same as he remembered it, if a bit cleaner.  The magic woven into the fabric snapped a little against his fingers like static; someone must have renewed the enchantments that kept his magic hidden.  It felt like Tori’s work, strong and possessive and a little like a bonfire just barely contained.

His helmet lay in the bottom of the locker.  It was polished, but someone had left fingerprints around the edge.  He grinned; Undyne must have been trying it on.  It looked a lot more comfy than the one she wore as Captain of the Royal Guard, so he didn’t blame her.  He made a mental note to tease her about it all the same.

As he moved to close the locker, his attention was caught by a note taped to the inside of the door:

NERD, Try this on and make sure it fits. ACTUALLY DO IT!!!!!!!!! The magic is new and needs to recognize you. IF YOU WAIT IT WON’T WORK RIGHT!!!!!

Sans sighed.  He could probably get away with draping the uniform over himself and taking a nap on the bench, but he was curious.  He carefully unhooked the hangers and separated the pieces of his uniform.

First he put on the undershirt and pants, both made of black cloth and padded to give his bones a little more...body.  He’d made both himself, but the little patches and tears had been mended with a steadier hand than his.  Over that went his leather gear.  It had been a while since he’d worn it, but someone must have kept it maintained; the dyed black leather was still soft, if a bit tighter than he remembered, and the protective plates - made of dark opaline shell from some kind of creature he didn’t recognize - were still attached firmly.  The soft rasp when he moved let him know that he would need to oil the gear before he did any stealth work, but overall it was in good repair.

He tugged on his gloves and boots next, wincing at the feel.  The gloves had shrunk and stiffened; he’d need to find replacements, or find a way to stretch them back out.  It wasn’t a big deal.  They had never fit him properly anyways; he might as well find some good human gloves and wrap his hands in something to make them fit.

The boots were another story.  Even with the shrinkage from time, they were still terribly large.  The bulky socks Sans wore under his sneakers didn’t do much to help in that regard.  He couldn’t remember how he’d ever gotten them to fit right, but made a mental note to pick up extra socks along with the gloves.

His sleeveless overcoat came next.  It, too, was made of leather, though it was much softer with stamped embellishments across the shoulders and embroidery down the front.  It was more ceremonial, designed to be decorative and easily discarded should the need arise, but it had its uses.  The Delta Rune on the back blazed with protective magic as he settled it over his shoulders, and he winced as the magic pressed against his own.  His hands shook a little as he did up the clasps in front.  He’d grown a little since the first time he put it on, but the coat still hung down to mid-calf on him.

Finally, the head coverings.  The mask that covered his face was made of a stiffer leather, formed to give the impression of a nose and ears where he had none.  There were no openings; instead, small enchantments over each eye socket allowed him to see without hampering his peripheral vision.  Something similar sat over his ear holes.  The design had a closure in the back that allowed him to wrap it around his head completely, protecting his identity should the helmet be dislodged and padding his skull as well.

The helmet itself was made of shiny black metal, similar to Undyne’s but far simpler in design: a smooth dome covered his cranium and lower face, with a narrow opening for his eye sockets.  He settled it over his skull, curious.  It still fit.  The smell of leather and metal brought back memories, though - most straight out of his nightmares - and he ripped it off a little too harshly when he realized he was close to tears.

Breathing deeply, he set it back in its place.  He didn’t have a choice in this.  Whether he wanted it or not, he was the Judge once again.  Unless he wanted to punt and move to the Arctic Circle, which - to be honest - was looking more and more appealing.

He was tempted to shuck the uniform off and leave it a pile, like he did for his own clothing, but old habits died hard.  He carefully removed each piece and hung it back up, slipping the gloves and boots into his inventory for reference.

With one last glance around, he teleported straight to his bedroom.

The messiness of his room clashed with the rigid formality he’d developed as Judge, and he felt the sudden, Papyrus-like urge to clean.  He took a deep breath and deliberately relaxed.  There was no danger.  There was no case.  He was Sans the skeleton, lazy asshole extraordinaire.  No more, no less.

Outside his door, the apartment was still quiet.  A quick check of his phone revealed that Undyne was calling him in early, and had roped Boss into helping out with those extra sentry shifts since there were so many sentries missing.  She probably thought she was helping.

Mostly, Sans just felt...tired.

When he thought back - really thought, the way he had back when such things mattered to him - he recognized how much he had changed.  People still remembered him the way he’d been in the Underground, angry and spiteful and cruel and clever, but he hadn’t felt that way in years.  He couldn’t pinpoint when he’d started to change.  Like a glacier in the winter sun, his facade had melted away.

He was still angry, but that had been eaten away by complacency.  He was still capable, but the relative ease of living on the surface had lulled him into apathy.  Maybe he’d always been that way.  Maybe all he ever wanted was to be needed, and in the absence of that he’d been dying slowly inside.

It was silly.  Boss didn’t need him.  Attie and Frisk didn’t need him.  Even Asgore, for all his overbearing condescension, didn’t need him.

But...it was nice to pretend for a while.

[llantrisantscc]

Classic GT Round 6 - 20th September 2017

The concluding race night of Round 6 was held on a very wet night with high humidity. It had a noticeable effect on the track, with conditions changing noticeably from the start of the evening to the last heat. Scuderia Birchmore were back to full strength, Russel returned after missing last week and Keith popped in as he was in the vicinity. Good to see you all again folks.

Lots of changes to cars during practice, with about half the drivers not qualifying with the car they had intended to race. Keith picked this weeks lane, selecting yellow in the blind pick. So off we jolly well went, giving it our all in yellow.  Team Jones had brought an Android tablet, so we were able to have lap times called out from Race Coordinator. There is a bit of an issue that needs investigating, it won’t call the last lap of qualifying heat. Good fun though, and we will have one pad per lane available very soon, so drivers can put on headphones and have their laptimes announced to them as they race. As if we don’t look daft enough on the racing stations as it is ;o)

Quali ran in yellow tonight, with the Lolas filling the top 3 slots. Steve was a third of a second in front of Alan, with Keith getting the first P68 in half a second behind Alan. Russ was next with the last two P68s split by a gnats chuff, Seb edging Martyn out for 6th by 3 thousandths of a second!!!!! Mmm, close stuff lads! Lee followed up with his best quali time to date, so he was tickled pink too.

Heat 1 saw Martyn go flag to flag with a reasonably uneventful race in Red, the highlight of which was getting collected twice in other peoples incidents. Meanwhile, Lee got a flyer in Yellow managing to avoid any first lap tangles, and held on to 2nd place gallantly for the first five laps. Seb recovered well in Green, with Russ doing likewise in Blue, with both getting past Lee to take 2nd and 3rd slots. Then things started to get interesting for Russ. His SCP-2 started to display the odd behaviour we have seen previously. The car would not come off the throttle when the trigger was released. It made for some fairly hefty wallops as the car tried to go round the bends at full chat. This has plagued Russ a few times of late – more news of this when we have our cuppa soon, so bare with….. On L18, Russ had to swap throttles. Martyn had thoughtfully draped his jacket across the spare we keep on the driver’s stations, so that delayed things for a moment or two (sorry Russ), but service was resumed and Russ got on with resurrecting his race evening. All the while, Seb and Lee had got their heads down, finishing the heat in 2nd and 3rd.   So a quick fettle of the throttle was needed, with Russ looking at the trigger bearings, trying to take any float out of the mechanism. And H3 begins – Martyn in Yellow and Seb in Red got good starts and enjoyed these two faster lanes, managing to open out a bit of a lead and chasing each other for the thirty laps. Lee was in Blue, and after lots of coaching from the guys got in a fairly decent run, delighting himself by getting sub 10s in this slowest long (well, longest, actually) and having a pretty good run. Russ in Green was getting some good laps in, though the throttle started misbehaving again, requiring a change to standby throttle once more. Understandably, the lad was getting a bit hacked off by now. The heat finished Martyn-Seb-Lee-Russ and the kettles were switched on ready for break. The other guys had a heat run to left, but as soon as that was over, out came the screws on the SCP2.  After much examining and adjusting, Russ’ “eureka” moment arrived. During his explanation to several members about the issues he was experiencing, Russ started to explain how the magnets interact with the hall sensor to control the throttle position. Specifically Russ was explaining why he had to let go of the trigger and unplug/replug the throttle to ensure it was calibrated after each on track problem he experienced. At this point Russ got to the bottom of his woes – he could see one of the throttle magnets was a little bit loose in the Y-shaped carrier connected to the trigger. Obviously any movement here was going to give a false reading and remap the throttle as he was driving. This explained perfectly the symptoms he had suffered. Where’s the bloody glue?????? H3 had also seen Martyn and Seb see a few issues, both requiring a fettle. Martyn was experiencing momentary cut outs whilst cornering on certain tight bends, so got the top off and look at motor cables and braids. Nothing obvious, so a tidy up was performed.

Back to racing – H5 – I think Seb enjoyed this heat. He was going like billy-oh in Yellow and didn’t get trouble by the others until after he had stopped! Lee enjoyed Green almost as much as Seb did Yellow – he got his fastest lap to date, edging to sub 9 with a 9.096 – much encouragement and shouting from his fellow racers and the marshalls encouraging to break the barrier. So close, but not just yet……. Meanwhile, Martyn’s Blue started well and got worse, whereas Russ’ Red started badly and got better! Martyn was suffering more and more power cuts as the heat progressed. As the power cut back in it would spit him off. This was a costly problem, as he probably lost 4th overall in this heat L  Russ meanwhile had a torrid first few laps, then realised the problem – during the fixing, his brakes had been knocked off. A quick fiddle with his knob and BOOM, Russ was back to top form, really enjoying his drive to second in the latter half of this heat. So to the last heat for this bunch – I think Martyn was enjoying his newly fitted braids (in between heats 5 and 7) as his flag to flag was reasonably comfortable. Russ in Yellow had a good dice for the opening 8 laps with Seb in Blue, but once he got comfortable, he put the hammer down and had a great latter 3/4s of the heat and took a well driven 2nd. What a relief that the throttle woes of late were now resolved. Seb I then mixed it up with Lee for a few laps, eventually pulling away for a comfortable 3rd place. But what about Lee? A couple of 9.0s in Red had the crowd cheering and egging him on, then on lap 18, to rapturous cheering and raucous cat-calls, he got below 9s for the first time in a race. Great stuff and a psychological boost for our newest racer.

In H2, being such a friendly club, we let our long travelled visitor Keith scamper away in Yellow – what a nice bunch! Well that’s not strictly true, he was going the clappers and Craig in Blue and Steve in Green were chasing him hard. Alan had a fumble in Red on the first few laps, but as soon as he got it dialled in he joined the fun and had some fast laps dicing with the rest. Steve got past Craig on lap 2 to take 2nd, where Steve stayed to the end. Craig meanwhile was having a great scrap with Alan. They were both travelling at about the same speed, Alan getting the advantage by Red being a bit shorter. Nevertheless, the pace was blistering with Alan holding his nerve to take a well-earned third. H4 had the odd place change – please try to keep up – I may get confused myself explaining this lot. Alan (Y) shot off the line in the lead, closely followed by Craig (G) then Steve ® and Keith (. Then it all went a bit bonkers. Alan took a tumble on lap 3, going from hero to zero, so everyone stepped up a place. An 8.1 followed by 5 consecutive 8.0s saw him claw his way back to second, only to slip up 2 laps later and loose a place. One lap later he got his place back, and set off after Steve. Steve was on good form, so it was a tantalising 2 second gap, opening up on the faster corneres and concertinaing back as Steve entered the slower corners. Meanwhile, Craig was starting to breath down Alan’s neck, with the same yo-yo effect, only a lot closer to Alan. This went on to the end with some furious concentration up on the drivers rostrum. At the flag, there was plenty of “Phews” and back-slapping -  very entertaining heat.  I think we should have given them all a cup of camomile to cool their heels!  After refreshments, Steve (Y) led Craig (G) off, with Keith (G) not far behind and Alan ( bringing up the rear. A scorchio second lap got Craig to the front, but a hiccup on L3 let dad get back in to the lead. It also allowed Keith to jump up to second. Battle royale then ensued between Craig and Keith for the rest of the heat (leaving Steve in peace out front). The guys swapped places three more times, Craig eventually coming out on top. So the last run of the night had Craig going for Gold in (yes, you guessed, Yellow), with every lap bar 1 and 22 being sub 8s. Alan and Keith (Green and Red) enjoyed a good scrap for the first dozen laps, with Keith opening a gap as Alan had a few offs. This allowed Steve to nip into third, with the heat ending up Craig, Keith, Steve, Alan.  So the scores were totted up, and a poor Blue by Martyn and Green by Alan meant there was interest between 4th and 5th, but Martyn’s bad heat was far worse than Alan’s by about 10 seconds, so Alan got the place.

The podium picture shows Alan hovering just off the step, this due to Keith being a guest and Alan having not raced for a few weeks, it would be decent to get him in on the glory!

Round 7 starts next week, so polish off your LMPs.

Did I mention Lee got a PB? 

[nononsensecosplay-blog]

LoZ Twilight Princess: Zant Mask Gift

Good morning/afternoon/evening cosplayers! I hope you’re doing well and not struggling out of a sewing machine mess (that bottom spool is a pain when the tension isn’t right). I’ve been easing my way back into the costuming ocean, one toe at a time, and my significant other gave me a fantastic opportunity to try out a method I’ve been studying for a long while now. He joined a Reddit gift exchange, with the theme being Zelda, and his secret santa turned out to be a big fan of Toon Link and Twilight Princess. I haven’t the slightest idea why he chose Zant as the subject for his gift, I just ran with it. Because he ‘commissioned’ me (I’m going to dinner in LA, heck yes!), he bought all the materials, motivation enough to entice me, the little devil.

I wanted to share my experiences with some materials I utilized, in the hope others can try them too, and a technique for achieving smoothness in an affordable manner, either as a finished product, or start of a master for a mold.

((Image heavy below the cut.))

0. Materials and Cost:

I’m a frugal person, I have to be. I’m fortunate to be in school and live with relatives, but still, I’ve got bills to pay. I try to keep my costs down.

((Obviously showing my materials was an after thought, as they’re all dirty from the project))

Paid Materials:

DAS clay - $10 for 32.5 oz (Michaels)

Elmer’s Wood Filler - $8 for 6 oz (Home Depot)

Plastic Mask - $8 (previously bought at Emazing Lights)

  Materials I Already Had:

240 grit sand paper

220 grit sand paper

200 grit sand paper

100 grit sand paper

Clay tools (see below)

Cup of water (don’t drink it)

Paints and brushes (white, blue, and black)

News paper to cover my work station

Extra Notes:

 I chose the DAS clay mostly due to familiarity with my Majoras Mask project, and partially as experimentation. I had heard you could sand it like other more expensive clays, and achieve the same results- wow was I right! The Elmer’s wood filler was the key, though: the softer body it had allowed to fill in the tiny little divots the DAS was always going to leave, no matter how much clay I used. More on that later.

When it comes to sandpaper- if you feel like you’ll only work once with anything that needs sanding, I recommend finding the handy-person in the neighborhood and bumming some off of them. You have to buy them in large packs, so going in with people and splitting the cost, or using what you already have is the way to go. If you absolutely have to buy some, save it for later. Sandpaper will eventually lose the binding glue, but you’ll be many years older when it does, so swallowing the cost will be worth it. I am the handy-person, my whole family is, so I have access to a LOT of materials. If you only want enough to make the project feasible go for a 100 grit, and then a 220 grit or 240 grit (the bigger the number, the finer the job). I do a lot of overkill on my projects, and realistically didn’t need that many choices, but I had them anyway.

I have a lot of clay working tools. Most of my tools can be substituted with other knick-knacks you may have. In reference to the above picture, from left to right, I used these specifically with these requirements in mind: a spherical smoother, to dig into areas my fingers were too soft or wide for, and to make sure a straight edge didn’t scrape surrounding areas (I would smooth under the brow, but not scrape the eye lid); a soft smooth corner to make dramatic creases around the eyes and mouth; I needed a sharp edge to scrape dry clay away (when sanding would take too long, this jump starts it); a thin smooth edge to shape the eyes sharp slopes in long sweeps; a blade to slice off wet clay from the mother body to use on the mask. Pretty simple.

And last but not least, I needed a few fingers to push and work the clay around. Most of the time they looked like this:

  1. Prep Work: 

I already had the mask (about $8 at the Emazing Lights down the street- CA is the gloving hub of the world, apparently) and found it was much easier to alter it than to start from scratch. Took some notes down on the plastic of where to focus my building up and down, folded the side cheeks in for a sharp cut, and sliced the nose flat, taping the inside to hold it while the clay dried. The plastic left raised around the flat of the top was slitted, so they would be more patient being bent when I laid the clay down. I also scratched the hell out of the entire surface, so the clay could grab hold and not just float on top (when working with clay materials this is the best method to fuse multiple pieces of clay together, to ensure a strong hold).

I knew the biggest challenge would be getting the mouth and nose right; I started with the nose, so I could build the mouth in reference to it. The eyes would need slanting, and I- foolishly- cut out the left eye to see if I could get the slant already started without clay. Turned out to be my biggest blunder, and I spent many hours trying to fix it to match the right. Whoops.

  2. Starting the Build Up: 

This was going to be a very lumpy project, I knew that going in. The clay, DAS, ensured that. The upside is that while the clay is wet you can press and smooth the stuff around to gently slope, fill, or cover the areas you want with little to no interference with already dried areas, or other wet ones. It all blends very well together, and maintains shape. The more smoothing I had to accomplish, the wetter I made the area, just dipping my fingers into my cup of water.

Before applying the clay to the mask, I would try to shape the lump to what I needed. Along the cheek I would roll it into a long hotdog looking shape, then lay it down and press and smooth the edges onto the plastic and surrounding clay. I tried to keep the clay in full body, waiting to smooth and flatten when it was on the mask, instead of rolling it flat and laying it over like a blanket. The adhering of clay to plastic was difficult, and I wanted to press as much into the scratches on the surface as possible, trying to ensure it had a rock solid foot hold. I also wasn’t sure how far, or how filled I would want an area until I started working the clay round. This method gave me wiggle room.

For smaller areas I would try pressing it flatter between my fingers to match the hole it was filling, making less work for me to spread. It would look like a muffin top, domed in the middle, but flatter on the edges. I could always put my finger tip on the tip and press until it was the right level.

Even early on, you can see that the brow area stayed very well shaped, and held appropriately. The amount of precision this material allowed me was startling, although I know it wouldn’t hold up well to the kind of carving and detail work I am allowed with Sculpey III clays.

  If I was going to be stepping away for more than a bathroom break, setting a damp paper towel saved my progress, ensuring the clay stayed malleable. This holds for a while, but when the paper starts drying, so will the clay, and an overnight storage would require a sopping wet towel and a plastic bag to stop evaporation.

When all said and done, the mask looked really freaking creepy, but well on its way to the right shapes. Hoorah!

  The Sandability of DAS:

Overall, I was astounded. DAS was soft, very soft, and I had to wait until the entire area was pretty much dry to sand, but it was obedient. The 100 grit I didn’t employ until much later, and wished I had used it from the start. To knock down big lumps, shape quickly, and get a brutal job done, the 100 grit is perfect. Don’t scrub at it like a burnt on pan, but don’t gently pet it like a fussy baby. If you employ the same kind of feeling as giving a dog a good scritch- with purpose and delight, and maybe a little nail but not too hard- you’ll do just fine. I had to remember that the hold on the plastic was delicate, and if given enough motivation the clay would break free, and that helped manage my strokes.

When you think the shape is what is needed, get the 200-something grit out and smooth the gouges down to a mostly fine surface. The point is to get it manageable, not perfect. There are a few more steps before you’re done.

In the above pictures I used a 220 grit, and just tried to knock down some of the higher rises. It was hard to get a good image of the progress, and I honestly forgot after this to take more before-after pictures.

  3. Filling The Gaps: 

  Elmer’s really makes everything, don’t they? So, wood filler, pretty handy stuff. A lot of higher end cosplay prop makers swear by it, and now I totally understand why. It adheres to pretty much anything, takes easily to being sanded, and shows you the imperfections you didn’t notice before. I chose the walnut color as it was going to have a stark contrast to the solid white.

Its a lot like gritty and drying cake frosting, and squeezes out of the tube pretty well. Spin the cap on whenever you set it down, the stuff dries quick, and I had to scrape out the inside of the tip a few times to get it to flow.

The best tool here: your finger tip! If you weren’t messy before, you will be now. I just put a blob on the meat of my finger, and drag so the blade of my finger goes over the material, pressing and setting it into the gaps.

With this I was able to see where I went wrong with my nose; The sides were too thin at the top, and the forehead was curved in at the brow. Zant has a flat nose going to a flat forehead.

     Made a few more notes with my trusty sharpie, and laid down more DAS to get the shape I wanted. During this, I made sure to keep working on other parts of the mask as well, keeping the flow of work going, while trying to keep my fingers away from the drying nose.

    The Finished Product: 

  The materials just sucked the acrylic paints up- and it took me a little to get the right colors. The in-game shots I had made it kind of hard to really get the idea of what Zant’s face looked like. I honestly wish I had the time to make a resin coat over it, but I was running to the last moment finishing the paint job as it was. Next time!

For the finished look, I made a soft border, curling the clay to soften the edges. I had to super glue a few places, making sure the clay and plastic mask stayed adhered to one another, and that really made all the difference for stability. Add a light paint job on the inside to even the colors out, and, viola! Complete!

 Final Comments: 

I will for sure be using DAS again (I’ve got over half of the brick left left…), and I was glad I got the opportunity to try the wood filler technique out. I would highly recommend both materials if the job calls for it. I didn’t bother taking any pictures of the painting process, or of working the left eye into it’s correct shape (the latter because I was close to crying many many times, the former because that isn’t what this is about). 

I thoroughly enjoyed working on this project and hope the recipient enjoys their gift! If you happen to have wandered in from Reddit, and also happen to be the recipient, I would love to hear from you, even if all you want to do is tell me it sucks (I think it’s pretty awesome, but to each their own).

Thanks for tuning in, and happy costuming, crafting or just dorking around!

[cliftonsteen]

Rethinking Insurance to Improve Coffee Farmers’ Resilience 

Coffee farming is an unpredictable business, at times devastatingly so. Weather conditions can take us by surprise while crop diseases can be prevalent and persistent. Affecting both the yield and quality of a harvest, these issues leave insurance vitally important to the economic stability of farming communities.

Weather index insurance is an emerging concept that can help protect coffee farmers from the effects of adverse weather conditions and natural disasters. It can also reduce farmers’ dependence on government aid and help tackle deepening poverty in coffee-growing communities.

So why is it that so few coffee growers have heard of it? How can the coffee industry make it more accessible, and how exactly would it benefit the people at the start of the supply chain?

You might also like The Complicated Role of Money in Specialty Coffee

Pickers on their way to harvest coffee cherries in Colombia. Credit: Propina

Why Is Insurance so Important?

Smallholder farmers in coffee-growing countries are far more likely to be impoverished than not. They make up two-thirds of those classed as poor in developing countries. 

They also contribute significantly to the local economy. When a coffee farmer has a bad year yet does not receive insurance payouts, their close-knit community will likely experience hardship too. A solid insurance plan ensures greater economic stability by supporting farmers through tough harvests. And its impact extends beyond the one farm, benefitting whole villages and towns.

Now, more than ever, poor insurance puts communities at risk. Climate change is causing more frequent and severe weather conditions and natural disasters. Droughts, harvest rains, fires, and floods can have catastrophic effects. 

Leaving farms even more vulnerable, rising temperatures are allowing pests and diseases to thrive at elevations where it used to be too cold for them to survive. It’s at these mountainous heights that coffee farmers often plant their best and most vulnerable coffee trees: ones associated with more delicate and complex flavours, and with that, higher prices. Unfortunately, with many of these varieties, the pay-off is reduced resistance to bugs, fungi, and illness.

Crawford Hawkins is the Founder and CEO of Harvest, an online marketplace launching soon that sells roasted coffee to consumers and businesses and helps to fund weather index insurance and working capital for coffee farmers. 5% of their sales is used to pay producers’ insurance premiums through Propina, a non-profit which means “tip” in Spanish. Additionally, when people buy coffee from Harvest, they can choose to “tip” producers by donating additional funds to cover their insurance policies.  

“When wet months are wetter and dry months are drier, the effect on smallholder coffee producers is severe,” he says. “The increased climate volatility means that the average temperatures across the coffee belt no longer align with their historical average. Weather is becoming more unpredictable and smallholder farmers lack the access to hedging tools to protect their livelihoods.” 

In this context, accessible and comprehensive insurance policies are increasingly needed.

You might also like What Is Coffee Hedging & How Does It Impact Producers?

A worker examines coffee seedlings at Finca Café Con Amor. Credit: Marianella Baez Jost

Insurance Policies That Cause More Problems Than Solutions

It has proven difficult for many smallholder farmers to access and claim on traditional crop insurance. The problem is that it’s just not designed with the daily realities of smallholder coffee farmers in mind. 

Kellie McCoy, Founder of consultancy specialists The Candra Group and previously Chief of Staff to Starbucks’ CEO, tells me, “Traditional insurance models take a policy holder’s assets into account and then assess premiums accordingly.” In other words, typical agricultural insurance involves insuring the crops themselves, mainly against any losses that the farmer might incur. 

Since the policy is based on the farmers’ crops and any losses specific to their farm, assessing value and damages is time-consuming and complex. In-person farm inspections might be required, a process that can be slowed down by poor or damaged infrastructure (especially after flooding). In the meantime, coffee farmers are left waiting and potentially spiralling into debt.

On top of this, traditional insurance can encourage producers to adopt risky farming methods. Since policies are based on the value of a crop, they reward higher yields. Producers can end up focusing on this over sustainable growth, nurturing the soil quality, and renovating plants (something which typically results in a short-term drop in harvest size in exchange for better returns two to three years later). 

If the farmer fails to increase their yield, their premium can increase and they will find themselves having to pay more with each contract renewal – meaning they have less money to invest in their farm.

These policies also fail to incentivise farmers to diversify their crops – and with that, their income – or plant shade crops, which help to increase the soil quality. There are often strict guidelines that the farmers must follow or else risk invalidating the policy, which can leave farmers unwilling to try something new.

Rich vegetation grows at Finca Café Con Amor in Costa Rica. Credit: Marianella Baez Jost

Turning to a New Type of Insurance

Some insurance brokers are turning away from traditional models and towards weather index insurance instead. It’s being hailed as a solution to many of the problems inherent to typical agricultural insurance.

In this model, variables such as rainfall, temperature, and wind speed in certain locations are measured using past data, local weather stations, and satellites. This data is then used to create indexes that determine standard ranges for these variables within that region. Coffee farmers and insurance companies then agree on certain levels of deviation for the most appropriate variables in a contract. 

Michael R. Carter is a professor at the Department of Agricultural and Resource Economics at the University of California in Davis, and also the director of the university’s BASIS Research Program. The program aims to provide economically disadvantaged families with the agricultural tools that they need to sustain themselves.

He describes how weather index-based insurance works when put into practice. “[It] issues payments based on a verifiable index measure that is related to the losses that insured farmers experience. Examples of such indexes include average yields within a locality, deficits or excesses of precipitation, and a suite of satellite-based measures that reflect plant health and growth and can be used to predict crop yields.”

The exact indices used will vary, but they are typically based on historic averages to make sure that they are relevant and accurate. Hawkins tells me, “The index weather insurance that we structure combines a 30-year average temperature or rainfall amount to create a smart contract at a local level, ensuring a payout when the weather deviates from the historical average.”

Coffee trees grow under shade cover. Credit: Marianella Baez Jost

How Weather Index Insurance Can Support Farmers

Weather index insurance shifts a significant amount of control back to farmers. It means that they aren’t held accountable by external parties to their crop’s yield. Nor are they dependent on farm inspections that are difficult to arrange: satellites can obtain all the data that the insurance company needs to process any claims filed by the farmers. 

As McCoy says, weather indexing “simplifies the insurance model”.

Since claims are automatic and based on data the insurance company already has, the payout can also be extremely quick. Wade Preston, Co-Owner of Prevail Coffee in Alabama, says, “When a crop-yield-affecting weather event occurs, the claim is automatically filed and the coffee grower receives a payout.

“If the coffee-growing world and the world of commercial insurance have anything in common, it’s that they are both notorious for working slowly and inefficiently. GPS-based weather indexing solves that problem on both ends.”

When farmers receive their insurance claim payouts faster, they can then recover from any monetary losses quicker. This is especially beneficial to economically disadvantaged farmers who may otherwise be forced to sell their equipment or even land to survive the wait.

McCoy hopes this new insurance model will help tackle the tendency for smallholder farmers to leave their farms and seek new jobs. “If we consider a single smallholder farmer who relies on the sale of the coffee… then a failed crop due to insufficient rainfall could force this one farmer to leave [their] rural area for a more reliable job in a nearby city,” she says. 

Healthy coffee trees grow in a biodiverse environment on Finca Café Con Amor. Credit: Marianella Baez Jost

Barriers to Obtaining Insurance

Although weather index insurance sounds like the ideal policy for farms today, Prof. Carter tells me that it is still not widely used. “Farmer demand for index insurance in many instances has been very low,” he says. 

A startling lack of awareness is one barrier. Weather index insurance has not been well-publicised in many cases. Nor is it widely understood, not even among farmers. Farmers in Kenya have reported being confused about when they would receive insurance payouts if there were fluctuation in the index, with risk-averse farmers were particularly likely to be wary because of this.

A significant number also did not consider the insurance to be worth the cost of the premiums. This is not a problem unique to weather indexing: after many years of ineffective traditional insurance, many producers simply don’t expect insurance to be useful. 

Marianella Baez Jost owns a coffee farm in Costa Rica. She tells me, “Insurance is not well known in coffee farming… Most people only purchase insurance because it is required for their vehicle or property mortgage.”

This issue is further compounded by financial barriers. Lower-income coffee growers are found to be more hesitant in taking out weather index-based insurance due to a lack of trust and understanding of it. 

Siddhartha Jha is the CEO and Founder of Arbol, a platform bringing together farms and capital providers to create weather index-based insurance contracts. He tells me, “Insurance is a key piece of financial infrastructure to help build resilience… for economically disadvantaged farmers… However, the market is still highly fragmented, opaque, expensive, and plagued with fees stemming from inefficiency.”

Weather index insurance can have a dramatic impact on producing communities. The problem is communicating it.

Marianella Baez Jost inspects coffee plants on her farm, Finca Café Con Amor. Credit: Zach Tarhini

Does Take-Up Begin With Coffee Cooperatives?

When we talk about smallholder farmers, the role of the community cannot be overlooked. Just as a poor harvest affects the entire village, an entire village of producers working together may be more inclined to try a new insurance model. It can make it easier to share accurate information about different policies, how to sign up, and how to make claims. 

In fact, research in Kenya found that offering insurance to a group of smallholder farms, as opposed to individuals, led to a better understanding of the insurance model. As the farmers discussed it together, their confidence in the system increased.

Propina is working on trials of weather index insurance with farming groups in Costa Rica, Colombia and Honduras. The farmers’ premiums are paid for by Harvest, which donates 5% of sales and also facilitates consumers “tipping” the producer at the point of sale. Roasters and other supply chain businesses can also match the donation to scale the social and environmental impact.

It’s early days for weather index insurance, but producers have high hopes for it. Rafael Silva of SICAFE Coffee says that he “really wants” to be able to access it.

“Coffee is a crop that 100% depends on nature…,” he explains. “Having insurance as a businessperson means you are protected, that in case of anything happening outside your control, you, your company, your product is safe or taken care of in times of a disaster. Having insurance provides me with a peace of mind and allows me to focus on the bigger picture.”

Good insurance can be life-changing. It can increase financial stability for producers, their families, and their communities. This opens the door not only to a better quality of life (the value of which should not be understated), but also the ability to plan ahead, manage risk, confidently expand, and feel secure about the future – things that are important in all businesses and in all our lives.

As Preston says, “We should be able to speak about financial instruments, processes, and infrastructure… just as clearly and articulately as we speak about coffee processing, roasting, and extraction – even if that means adding terms like ‘weather indexed crop insurance’ to our lexicon.”

Found this interesting? Read Sustainability in Coffee: What Are The Main Issues?

Written by Tasmin Grant. Feature photo: Coffee plants at Finca Café Con Amor in Cañuelas, Naranjo, Costa Rica. Feature photo credit: Marianella Baez Jost

Please note: This article has been sponsored by Propina.

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The post Rethinking Insurance to Improve Coffee Farmers’ Resilience  appeared first on Perfect Daily Grind.

Rethinking Insurance to Improve Coffee Farmers’ Resilience  published first on https://espressoexpertweb.weebly.com/

[oliverwithoutthetwist]

Physical and Mental - agony - (warning: suicidal thoughts)

Hello again, my for all eternity deserted friend

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This post will be long as hell and (WARNING) it includes various depression filled and suicidal thoughts

Topics: Current appearance . Others’ perception . Romance. Agony . Physical pain . Suicidal Ideation . Loneliness . Family

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1- Mirror Selfie above

Torso- This was the first time I found a mirror that allowed me to capture more than just the face (in a way that everything is sort of visible and I’m not just a faraway being). The legs are not present but I’ll find a way to reveal them along side the rest of my prison-like body somehow. I want to have everything clear on record.

Face- My features here reveal the facial expression I tend to make when anxious and paranoid. Note: Currently, I’m always anxious and paranoid when I leave my flat, afraid of being “discovered” as a “fraud”. Continuing, after analyzing the image, I now understand why strangers see me as a lost child. Imagine the person in the pic above being 5ft (my embarrassing height) and standing uncomfortably on the underground station platform. Yes...

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2- Agonizing reality

12 year old look- Yes, I do look like a 12(hope not less)-14 (at max) boy when walking alone down the street. And, let me tell you, this thing of looking like a child was sort of fun at first but, now, it has proven to be a struggle. 

The stares- I can’t drink or smoke in public comfortably like i used to. People glare now, whisper between themselves, laugh and sometimes comment (rather loudly) when seeing me engage in adult behaviors, behaviors that merely consist in me hanging out with my young adult friends. “Adult” like me.

Romance- The universe, currently, does not allow me to be with anyone romantically. A bloke my age, or even 5 years younger, would automatically pass as a pedophile if he did has much as hold my hand with other people around. No 20 something year old wants to be seen as a pervert, someone who wishes to #!% little children. This is indeed understandable, I wouldn’t want to be perceived as that as well. 

Pedophiles- 50plus year old repulsive men are the only ones who seem to want to (or actually do so) approach me with the intent of having “sexual relations”. With me, the lost and innocent looking young boy. I never knew this to be so common. It’s terrifying.

Nighttime stroll- I used to sometimes enjoy walking back towards my flat instead of taking the tube, especially when the moon is high. I don’t do that anymore though. It has become dangerous. The reasons: 1- Looking as young as I do, and being in the street alone after the sun sets,  I am now the perfect and rather easy to capture prey for the so called “pedo” to attack. 2- I’ve been called a “faggot” two times now (note: my gay friends have never been insulted like that). “I guess” no “straight” young teen dresses like I do so I am, automatically to the ignorant human, a miniature “roostersucker” and this can actually lead to a group of neanderthals beating the shit out of me. When having that appearance, a person is indeed an easy target. Note: I actually live in, what’s considered to be, a safe country. These things still happen though and not that rarely. 3 (worse scenario)- Ok. Imagine this: there I go, down the street, no sunlight, looking like a young boy when suddenly a breeze opens my loose fitting jacket to reveal a previously hidden female body. Just a quick look and I’m suddenly discovered by a transphobe as a “fake” male, a “freak”, a trans person. This is horrifying. I’ve read/know of testimonies by trans blokes (mostly pre-t) who were beat up rather violently or/and raped with the excuse of it being an attempt to help them, to cure their “disease”.

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I’m in hell

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3- Suicidal Ideation has returned

Lately, I keep thinking about the various boxes of prescription pills that are hidden in my wardrobe. 

Swallowing, about 5 by 5, of my rather strong anti-depressants until there’s nothing left. And then, adding to the mix, my mood stabilizers. 

This is sure to provoke an effect on the body.

Short story- Before coming out, and after I started meds,  I went on a google quest to know how many boxes of pills (the specific ones I take) would kill me. I still have, in my macbook, a document that holds that information. 

The ultimate swallowing of all my anti-depressant and mood stabilizers has yet to happen though. I like to plan things, to make sure I’ll be successful while doing them, so I did my research and found cases of people who tried suicide by prescription drugs and ended up not being able to perform the simplest of tasks and requiring the assistance of others to go through life, their body and movement ability destroyed. When reading this, I became terrified of surviving the attempt and not even being physically able to repeat it. The body that has brought me so much misery over the years would become not only the prison that has always been but also a bloody straight jacket. And this would be my life, until fate decided its end. 

Short fact- Before coming out (early October), after years of research, I had finally found a flawless way of suicide (an “exotic” and not well known way). The Holy Grail. I will not reveal what it is. I don’t wish for anyone to find it and swallow "the thing” because of me and the information I have provided here. That being said, this “thing” was being sold on a website (for other purposes, so completely legal) but it was temporarily unavailable. You had the option of sending them your email in order to receive a notice when “the thing” was back in stock. I did that and I did receive a message. It was at the end of November that they announced its availability. I deleted this announcement. Curiously enough, I had just come out and, for the first time, I was excited to be alive and to see what the future would bring. 

The excitement has now vanished. Reality has hit. I used to be fully accepted when I was hidden inside the character I had created as means of survival, a fake individual who caused me excruciating pain. Years of self harm accompanied me through out. Quick note: I will, later on, share my experience on the subject. Continuing, hiding misery did in fact provide me with being accepted by others. I’m not saying my friends (for example) are transphobic. What I’m saying is that real life, in its total, is a lot harder now. But I will not go back to how it was before. I can’t do it. No way. Even, going out of the flat without a binder makes me feel so anxious that my breathing stops working properly. Yes, going back is not an option at this point.

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4- Physical pain

Binder- I’ve recently shared here the physical pain I’ve been experiencing due to overwearing my binder. The chest area does not hurt but my back does, a lot. The pain is so bad that I’m only able to sleep due to extreme exhaustion. I might be tired but my back will keep me awake until, hours later, I simply pass out. I’ve been experiencing this for over a week now. Sometimes it goes away and I think it’s over but it comes back and is horrible.

Heavy head and lost of balance- I have a lot of important and unavoidable things to take care of at the moment. I’m bloody anxious as hell. I have ADHD, which makes this all outstandingly overwhelming and confusing. I’m trying to keep myself focused and I don’t take any meds for it. After my diagnose, I chose not to (I was taking 4 pills a day at the time and didn’t want to add more to my daily breakfast routine). . . . All this to say that, today, my head suddenly turned heavy. It’s difficult to describe actually. Let me try. Imagine your head being somehow pulled by a strong rubber band. That’s it, that’s how I can describe it. I apologize, I can’t find better words for it. But yes, the “heavy sensation” made me believe my head was tilted to the left without my control when, in fact, it was straight. This belief made me experience difficulty with walking. All day, I had to concentrate really hard in order to not appear drunk or high. I’ve heard of this before, this happening due to anxiety, but I had never experienced it first hand. 

Panic attack- Adding to all this, I had a day filled with sudden issues! 1-I opened a new bank account with my new ID but, due to an error, the guy found out my name used to be *insert birth name here* and stopped referring to me as “son” and started treating me as “miss”, even though my ID says MALE. 2-Again, stares and laughs at the little boy who thinks he’s all grown up. 3-Pain and lost of balance 4-Panic attack (a strong as shit one). 5-My friends are suddenly not open to let me share my troubles (these are the people who have always criticized me for not talking to them about my personal issues). Ex: friend: “Are you ok?”, me “uh... not really. I just had a panic attack and basically spent the last hour attempting to breathe, screaming and sobbing”, friend: “...”, friend 2: “This is the best chicken ever. Oh! I have a new crush.” 6- I left my ID inside a taxi. The taxi driver was horrible to me the whole trip. When I went to pay, I gave him money and told him he didn’t have to give me the change. Due to the head heaviness thingy, I was desperate to go to my room and lie down. The thing is: I was so confused with my surroundings, that I let my wallet fall when I got up to leave. I was quick to notice I had left it there though. I shouted in despair towards the guy, telling him “wait!”. He actually noticed me but still drove off. I tried to run and place myself in front of the car to force him to stop but failed to do so. The driver left with my wallet. I thought I had been saved when my landlord and neighbor called me. I looked to see him looking through his window and, after noticing my attempt to reach the taxi, he memorized the license plate. I was saved! Not. I called all my city’s taxi companies and the guy’s car didn’t belong to any of them. They said he must be an independent taxi driver. He’s registered though, his car had everything to be official. There’s a company that controls all of it but they did not pick up my phone call. I had to send an email. So, my ID is basically gone (the ID I spent extra money so I could have it as quickly as possible, the ID I went to pick up yesterday, the ID that made me almost cry from joy and relief). If they do reply and contact the driver, he will probably deny having the wallet. It’s not because of money, I didn’t have any, only enough for the taxi drive. He didn’t have anything to steal. The bank card inside was old and had already been canceled. I only need my ID! My precious baby! The driver treated me like shit, he’s not going to be kind enough to report the missing item. He probably just threw it away. Where I live, that’s actually a crime. You have 7 days to report a lost ID. He can always say another passenger took it. . . Right! My baby is gone and I can’t do things grown ups do anymore. 7- Oh yes, my macbook charger suddenly broke and it’s expensive as hell. FMbloodyL

Anyway...

Status: I’m uncomfortable as hell! I’m a mess, mentally and physically. This day was... so many things... It’s surreal! 

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5- Loneliness

I started this blog as a way to make a record of my transition. I was hoping (and still sort of am) for, one day, to look at it again and see all the steps it took in order to achieve my life changing transformation and personal accomplishments. 

Not only that, it was also something for my friends to check from time to time so they could understand my situation a bit better and accompany me when I leave this city (not long now). They were actually the ones who asked excitedly if they could follow me. Yet, they did not. I don’t think they ever even visited the link I gave them. 

Another thing I thought would be nice was chatting with other fellow transgenders and share deep thoughts or just have a nice chat. This didn’t happen though. I sent some messages to tumblr bloggers I found to be interesting. They answered me, very nicely. But they ended up ignoring the message I sent afterwards. I swear to the bloody stars that I wasn’t offensive in any way. 

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6- Parents

My parents (and brother) still don’t know

They’re blind as hell 

They care

They just don’t see 

They’ve always pushed aside the emotional aspects of life

They’re good people

But they simply prefer to ignore deeper issues 

It’s not their fault

It’s how they were raised

And, consequently, it’s how I was raised too

It’s how I learned to also ignore those issues and live in bloody agony all this time

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Conclusion:

I’m alone

[bountyofbeads]

Iran just outplayed the United States — again

By Max Boot | Published December 31 at 5:19 PM EST | Washington Post | Posted December 31, 2019 |

To call the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad merely a diplomatic mission is to severely understate its scope and size. At 104 acres, the compound is nearly the size of Vatican City and comes complete with its own dormitories, dining halls, electrical plant, fire department and everything else needed to support the thousands of diplomats and contractors housed inside its thick walls. I have been there many times, and every time I felt like I was being magically whisked from the Middle East to small-town America.

So it was all the more shocking to read that hundreds of supporters of Kataib Hezbollah, an Iranian-backed militia, broke into the compound on Tuesday and ransacked the reception areas familiar to all visitors. To anyone of my generation (I was born in 1969), it instantly conjured up terrible memories of the Iranian hostage crisis of 1979 to 1981. The protesters even shouted the same slogan — “Death to America” — as the Iranian hostage-takers. Mercifully, Tuesday’s embassy invasion ended without any Americans being harmed after Iraqi security forces belatedly arrived to restore order, but the demonstrators remain just outside the embassy walls.

This is another reminder that in the long-running conflict between the United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran, we have repeatedly been humbled and hurt by a smaller but more determined and ruthless adversary. Indeed, for the past 41 years, Iran has put on a master class in irregular warfare, leaving the United States flummoxed about how to respond.

In the 1980s, Iranian-backed forces took dozens of Americans hostage in Lebanon and demolished both the U.S. Embassy and the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut with truck bombs that killed hundreds. President Ronald Reagan was so desperate to free the hostages that he was willing to sell missiles to Iran — a backroom maneuver that blew up into the biggest scandal of the Reagan administration after the proceeds were secretly diverted to the Nicaraguan Contras.

In 1987, Reagan sent U.S. naval forces to prevent Iran from closing the Persian Gulf as part of its war against Iraq. One U.S. Navy frigate was nearly sunk by an Iraqi missile and another by an Iranian mine, but U.S. forces inflicted heavy damages on Iran’s Revolutionary Guard Navy and accidentally shot down an Iranian passenger airliner.

This was the first and last time that U.S. and Iranian forces engaged in direct battle. Iran prefers to do most of its damage via proxies. Following the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003, Iranian-sponsored Shiite militias killed hundreds of U.S. service members. President George W. Bush condemned Iran as part of the “Axis of Evil,” but wisely decided against escalating hostilities. The United States was mired in enough wars without starting another one against a nation of 81 million people.

The Iranians took advantage of Bush’s ill-advised decision to overthrow their nemesis Saddam Hussein to extend Iranian influence across Iraq under the very noses of American occupiers. Iran was already the dominant player in Lebanon. In the past two decades, it has become the dominant player in Iraq, Syria, and Yemen, too. The new Persian Empire stretches from Tehran to Beirut.

The only effective U.S. response to the Iranian threat since Reagan’s tanker war was President Barack Obama’s decision to conclude a deal with Iran in 2015 that would freeze its nuclear program. The deal did nothing to curb Iran’s regional power play and may have even fueled it by lifting economic sanctions — which is why I and others opposed it at the time. But it did at least stop Iran’s development of nuclear weapons. President Trump blundered by exiting the nuclear deal in 2018 and imposing economic sanctions on Iran in 2019, even though it was complying with the agreement.

Pushed into a corner, Iran and its proxies have lashed out by allegedly attacking oil tankers in the Persian Gulf, shooting down a U.S. drone, hitting a major Saudi oil facility with cruise missiles — and now rocketing a U.S. compound near Kirkuk, Iraq. The latter attack, which killed an American contractor and injured four U.S. troops on Friday, led Trump to retaliate with airstrikes across Iraq and Syria that killed 25 members of Kataib Hezbollah, the Iranian-backed militia blamed for the rocket attack, and sparked anti-American outrage. The embassy invasion on Tuesday was Iran’s riposte to make clear that it will not bow to American pressure. Your move, Mr. Trump.

The United States has only two ways out of this escalating crisis: fight or negotiate. A war with Iran, as I have previously argued, could be the mother of all quagmires; it could easily spin out of control with tit-for-tat responses of the kind we have seen in recent days. Better to negotiate. That would mean trying to rebuild a tougher nuclear deal in return for the lifting of U.S. sanctions.

But Trump shows little interest in either seriously negotiating or fighting. He has waged economic warfare on Iran while doing nothing to curb its regional aggression; indeed, by withdrawing U.S. troops from part of northern Syria, he has allowed an extension of Iranian influence. So we are left with the worst of all possible worlds: Iran is once again waging a low-intensity conflict, and America once again has no effective response.

*********

The Pentagon has banned congressional travel to Iraq and Syria over the holidays

By Josh Rogin | Published December 31 at 1:30 PM EST | Washington Post | Posted December 31, 2019 |

U.S. diplomats and troops have been hunkering down on Tuesday in the Baghdad embassy under siege after Iraqi protesters stormed the compound to protest U.S. attacks on Iranian-backed militias. But there are no U.S. lawmakers or congressional staffers in the country — even though such visits are common during the holidays — because the Pentagon banned them from visiting this month amid concerns about regional instability.

I obtained an unclassified Dec. 16 Pentagon memo, designated “For Official Use Only,” that states, “all U.S. government, U.S. Congressional and allied senior level visits to [Combined Joint Task Force-Operation Iraqi Resolve] in Syria and Iraq are prohibited,” until Jan. 15, 2020. The memo is signed by Defense Secretary Mark T. Esper and approved a request made by Central Command chief Gen. Kenneth McKenzie. Exceptions are provided for the president, vice president, defense secretary, the service secretaries and the joint chiefs.

“Centcom raised concerns about straining resources to accommodate VIP delegations, volatility in Iraq, and the need to keep the focus on support operations in Syria,” a senior defense official told me on Dec. 18. “This is merely a pause on travel through the holidays.”

That caution proved to be prescient. The explanation came before a series of events over the past few days brought tensions surrounding the U.S. presence in Iraq to a boil. A U.S. contractor was killed, and several U.S. troops were injured in an attack on an Iraqi base hosting U.S. troops on Friday. The United States struck back at five locations Sunday in Iraq and Syria, targeting the Iranian-backed militia Kitaeb Hezbollah.

On Tuesday, supporters of that militia breached the embassy compound walls and set fire to a guard station and threw gasoline bombs over the wall, chanting “Death to America” while guards held them at bay with tear gas. President Trump quickly blamed Iran for orchestrating the attack and called on Iraqi security forces to protect the embassy, which they eventually did.

The Pentagon has put temporary pauses on congressional and senior leader visits to Iraq at various times before. But this year’s ban illustrates just how much the security situation in Iraq has deteriorated in recent weeks and months. Trump made a surprise visit to Iraq around this time last year. That wouldn’t be possible today, due to the dangerous situation on the ground.

The most recent congressional delegation to Iraq was in early November, led by House Armed Services Committee Chairman Adam Smith (D-Wash.). There are other congressional delegations in the Middle East region right now (specifics withheld for security reasons), but none in Iraq or Syria, where the U.S. troop presence has been reduced and now stands at about 600 soldiers sitting on oil fields in Deir al-Zour province.

The Pentagon’s decision to keep lawmakers out of Iraq and Syria over the holidays makes sense from a strictly security vantage point. But the fact that there is not enough staff in Iraq to safely host lawmakers and staffers calls into question the Trump administration’s plans to further drastically reduce the number of U.S. embassy personnel there.

Foreign Policy reported this month that the State Department plans to reduce diplomatic staffing in Iraq by 28 percent by the end of May 2020, removing 114 positions in the Baghdad embassy alone. As the security situation in Iraq worsens, the Trump administration should be doubling down on diplomacy, and Congress should be doubling down on oversight. Right now, both of those crucial missions are falling victim to the escalating violence.

*********

[thisdaynews]

What Mayor Pete Couldn’t Fix About the South Bend Cops

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/what-mayor-pete-couldnt-fix-about-the-south-bend-cops/

What Mayor Pete Couldn’t Fix About the South Bend Cops

SOUTH BEND, Indiana—Pete Buttigieg emerged from his black Suburban outside the police department Friday night, and stepped into the middle of the tensest moment of his nearly eight-year career as mayor. Protesters, angered by a police shooting five days earlier, pressed a list of 10 demands into his hands. On the list: Would he support an independent investigation by the Justice Department?

After quickly scanning the document, Buttigieg agreed. But there were nine more issues and the crowd wasn’t appeased.

Story Continued Below

“Can you say it to us today in front of all these cameras that black lives matter?”

“Did you just ask me if black lives matter?” the normally unflappable Buttigieg replied, anger in his voice.

“Yes, we want to hear you say it,” another said.

“Of course black lives matter,” Buttigieg said into a microphone.

“You running for president and you expect black people to vote for you?” a black woman asked him.

“I’m not asking for your vote,” Buttigieg said.

“You ain’t gonna get it either,” the woman shot back.

This confrontation in his hometown was not where the 37-year-old mayor had expected to be on Friday night. Buttigieg’s schedule had him in South Carolina at Rep. Jim Clyburn’s World Famous Fish Fry. Recently, he had been riding a carpet of congratulatory headlines about his robust fundraising and his surging presidential campaign. He was on a glide path to center stage at next week’s Democratic debates.

But early last Sunday that all changed, when a white police officer in Buttigieg’s South Bend police department who had been accused of excessive force in the past shot and killed a 54-year-old black man. Officials said the victim was rifling through parked cars and armed with a knife; the officer hadn’t activated his body camera video and the camera on his dash hadn’t switched on either so there was no independent record of the fatal encounter. Buttigieg left the campaign trail to deal with fallout from an encounter that almost instantly was swept into the fraught national debate over how police treat minorities in their communities.

Over the course of the week, under the gaze of a horde of national media, Buttigieg struggled to reclaim control of the narrative that he has nurtured during his surprising candidacy—the thoughtful, compassionate technocrat whose smart policies have reinvigorated his once beleaguered Rust Belt city. On Thursday, a black pastor interviewing Buttigieg on a radio show noted pointedly that Buttigieg was “running two campaigns: One is for the presidency of the United States of America; and the other is damage control after a Father’s Day shooting of Mr. Eric Logan.” A day later, Logan’s grieving mother screamed at him during the march: “I’m tired of hearing your lies.”

The shooting has exposed a lingering and bitter conflict between South Bend’s black community and a predominantly white police department—a department that has grown only whiter since Buttigieg became mayor in 2012. As mayor, Buttigieg, who has pledged transparency and professionalism, sometimes seemed to make matters worse. Three months intohis first term, he forced out the city’s first black police chief, who had been accused of illegally recording his officers, some of whom were said to have made racist remarks; since then, there have been a number of controversies with racial overtones—violent confrontations between police and minority residents, and lawsuits by black officers alleging that Buttigieg’s handpicked police chiefs engaged in racially discriminatory behavior.The officers involved in the shooting and its aftermath each have been accused multiple times of using excessive force against black people. On Friday, the lawyer for the victim’s family specifically targeted Buttigieg in an interview,saying the shooting was a byproduct of the Buttigieg administration’s “acceptance” of police misconduct.

The criticism comes at a particularly sensitive time on his campaign. After having been dogged by concerns that he wasn’t a viable candidate with black voters – scoring as low as 2 percent in some polls – he had begun to make some progress.When word came of the shooting, Buttigieg had just finished a trip to South Carolina, where he campaigned on his so-called Douglass plan, a policy proposal aimed at fostering black entrepreneurship and lowering incarceration rates. A Post and Courier-Change Research poll last week showed him surginginto third place behind Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren, a gain of 6 percent among black voters there. Buttigieg the presidential candidate has caught fire, in part, due to his knack for connecting local and national issues,but the shooting this week dredged up a kind of history that could tie them together in the most damaging way.

On Wednesday morning, after two days of private meetings with community members, Buttigieg emerged to make his first public remarks since Sunday’s late-night press conference. He went to a local Board of Public Safety swearing-in ceremony to address six new police officers and their parents. “As you know, you are also joining this police department at a very challenging moment here in South Bend,” he told them. “We gather in the wake of a shooting that has left family members grieving the loss of someone they love and leaves an officer and his family dealing with the consequences of a lethal encounter.”

Buttigieg acknowledged that relationships between city leaders and police and community members had frayed. The mayor expressed frustration that the officer hadn’t activated his body camera—part of a $1.5 million technology investment a year ago—when it mattered most. He had also instituted implicit bias training for his police force and created a website where citizens could review documents related to complaints against police. This, he said, “is just one reminder of how much work is yet to be done.”

“How far we will have to go before the day when no community member or officer would hesitate to trust one another’s word—and ultimately, how far we have to go before we live in a society where none of the circumstances leading to Sunday morning’s death could have happened in the first place?”

After his speech, Buttigieg fielded media questions that focused on how he was handling the response: Why hadn’t he attended a vigil for the victim at the scene of the shooting Monday evening? “I took some advice from community leaders on this and reached the decision that it would be more of a distraction if I were to attend.” Buttigieg faced what seemed to be a no-win situation: attend the vigil and be accused of co-opting it for the sake of his presidential campaign or not attend and be criticized for callousness. What about the optics of appearing publicly with police first instead of in the community or with victims? “I’m not really concerned about optics so much as making sure that the community is headed in the right direction.”

On Thursday, Buttigieg took to a local radio station, WUBS, where he was asked a question by black pastor, the Rev. Sylvester Williams Jr., that seemed to strike closer to the heart of Buttigieg’s record on racial issues. Why, he was asked, were all six of the new officers he had just sworn in white?

***

Buttigieg responded with an apology—“We need people of color on the police department,” Buttigieg said, “and I have failed to get us a more diverse police department”—but that uniformly white array of new cadets wasn’t an aberration under Buttigieg’s administration.

In 2014, during his first term in office, black officers made up more than 10 percent of the 253-person department. By last year, that figure had dwindled to 5 percent. Contrary to its national image as a white, working class, Catholic town, South Bend is 40 percent non-white, comprised of 26 percent blacks and 14 percent Hispanics. And yet its police force each passing year under Buttigieg has looked a little less like the city itself.

While South Bend’s police department problems began long before Buttigieg arrived in office, a decision he made early in his administration set him back. In March 2012, three months into his term, Buttigieg asked for the resignation of his popular police Chief Darryl Boykins, the city’s first black chief. He had learned that Boykins illegally recorded members of the force whom he believed had used racist language, and that Boykins was under investigation by the FBI for it.

Buttigieg phoned Boykins and asked him to resign. (Buttigieg has said that call was a mistake, and that since then he has conducted all personnel changes in person.) “I sat at the end of the conference table in my office, and contemplated which scenario was more likely to tear the community apart—a well-liked African-American police chief potentially being indicted over compliance with a very technical federal law, or me removing him for allowing things to reach this point?” Buttigieg writes in his memoir,Shortest Way Home. “There was no good option: the community would erupt either way.”

Buttigieg’s prediction was right. The backlash was fierce and the storyline virtually swallowed his first year in office.

“This issue, previously an abstraction for me, was now hitting home,” Buttigieg writes in his memoir. “Ferguson and everything that followed in the Black Lives Matter movement came after the tapes controversy exploded locally, but their urgency grew from the same root: the fact that many of the worst historical injustices visited upon black citizens of our country came at the hands of local law enforcement. Like an original sin, this basic fact burdens every police officer, no matter how good, and every neighborhood of color, no matter how safe, to this day.”

The now-infamous tapes case has earned Buttigieg tough press nationally since he entered the crowded presidential race, but it was only one of a series of race-related policing controversies he has faced in office, all of which contributed to the raw emotions that emerged in the wake of the shooting.

The names of the two officers involved in the shooting Sunday were already familiar to many of the city’s black and Hispanic residents and activists. According to court documents, Ryan O’Neill, the officer who fired the fatal shot, had been named in two lawsuits related to racially motivated misconduct. In 2008—several years before Buttigieg took office���a man namedDerrick Burton claimed that O’Neill called him a “stupid n—–” and “tazed me unconscious.” In another 2008 lawsuit against multiple officers, Michael Alexander accused O’Neill of leveling “multiple blows to my head and my back.” Alexander alleged that the officers had tasered him and that he heard them “laughing about how I was flopping like a fish.” Both cases, which were filed while in custody by the men themselves and without legal help, were dismissed by judges.

In July of 2008, South Bend police Lt. David A. Newton wrote in an internal affairs report, which POLITICO has viewed,that O’Neill should be removed as a field training officer because of otherracist remarks he made. Looking at a black woman, O’Neill allegedly asked a fellow officer, “Do you want to get some of that black meat?” O’Neill told the officer that he had dated black women in high school. But when they later saw a black man walking with a white woman, O’Neill remarked to his fellow officer: “Man, I hate seeing that. It makes me sick.” The incident was investigated by an African-American member of the police department. A spokesperson for the South Bend Police Department told POLITICO that the document was “one person’s testimony on an internal affairs investigation. The assertions presented were determined to be ‘not sustained’ at the conclusion of the investigation.”

Last Sunday’s incident also involved a second officer, Aaron Knepper, who drove the wounded man, Eric Logan, to the hospital in a squad car. He had called for an ambulance, but decided not to wait, according the account he gave officials. (Logan, who was shot once in the abdomen, died later.) Knepperalso had a history. In 2016, he was the subject of public protests that called for his dismissal because of a series of incidents over the years. Police Scott Ruszkowski, Buttigieg’s police chief, pulled Knepper off the streets, citing threats to Knepper. Four months later, Knepper was back on the beat.

In August of 2012, Knepper was one of three officers who tricked a mentally disabled 7-Eleven clerk into eating a spoonful of cinnamon in 60 seconds. The man became violently ill. His family sued. The city offered a settlement before trial of $15,000, but the family declined it, and the jury awarded $8,000.

“Obviously I’m not pleased,” Buttigieg said at the time.

That same year, Knepper and other officers entered a black family’s home in the middle of the night, and punched 17-year-old Deshawn Franklin six times and stunned him with a Taser. The officers had mistaken him for someone else. A federal jury decided that Knepper and his fellow officers violated Franklin’s constitutional rights, but awarded him and his family $18. More public outrage ensued.

Buttigieg deflected calls for Knepper’s firing, placing the onus on his police chief and board of public safety, which by state statute is the only entity that has the authority to hire and fire police officers. “Obviously, a firing-level personnel decision is made by the Board of Public Safety,” he said in 2016. “But just to be clear, I accept responsibility for appointments to the Board of Public Safety and (police) chief.”

In the interest of promoting equity, Buttigieg has appointed three African-Americans to the four-member Board of Public Safety (one seat is vacant). At a board meeting in September 2016, protestors interrupted a panel on which Buttigieg sat with Ruszkowski, the former head of the local police union who became police chief in 2015. “I don’t think this can be resolved by targeting any individual,” Buttigieg said. “It can only be resolved by making sure we have a higher level of trust in the community that’s borne out by consistently positive behavior and consistently fair discipline.”

Today, Buttigieg is on his third police chief. After dismissing Boykins, Buttigieg hired Ron Teachman, a white native of Bedford, Massachusetts. Police officers claimed Teachman had “run amok” while Buttigieg, a Navy reserve officer, was on leave from his mayoral duties to serve a nine-month tour in Afghanistan. A local activist accused Teachman of using racist imagery in a sermon, according a local media report. Davin Hackett, a military veteran with expertise in explosives, filed a lawsuit against Teachman for racial discrimination when he was denied a position on the bomb squad. Later, he claimed in a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, that he was passed over for a promotion to sergeant in favor of a less qualified white candidate. In retaliation, Hackett says he was “subjected to unjustified investigations and discipline,” according to local news reports. Two other black officers filed race discrimination suits within the same year.

Asked on Wednesday by reporters what he had learned from tensions erupting over race-related policing issues, Buttigieg nodded to his early lack of deftness handling a complex subject that has ended the careers of other mayors.

“When I first took office almost eight years ago, I may have had a theoretical understanding of what’s at stake in issues of race and racism and policing, but it’s different when you bear responsibility for a police department and for the wellbeing of a community. I’ve learned about how raw these issues are.”

***

By mid-week, it seemed like Buttigieghad been speaking non-stop since he arrived three days earlier—talking publicly and privately, making sweeping statements about the long tail of racial injustice and issuing specific orders about the use of body cameras. He had met privately with Logan’s family and publicly pledged the city’s support for them and his commitment to a thorough investigation of the shooting.

On the night of the shooting, he talked openly about how his response was shaped by past mistakes. “We’ve had prior cases of use of force incidents and officer involved shootings where I hesitated, frankly, to get in front of cameras because we didn’t know very much, and it was out of our hands.”

Buttigieg spent hours on the phone with local leaders. “We don’t want to have to wait for final word from the different investigations to be taking next steps here to fortify community relationships, to keep channels of communication open, and to determine what we can do going forward that will be positive.”

And he sought advice from people he called “experts from around the country.” One of them was the Rev. Al Sharpton, the long-time New York activist who has been at the center of numerous racial controversies over the decades. Sharpton shared the advice he gave Buttigieg with MSNBC’s Chuck Todd. “I told him, ‘You’ve got to be very honest. You’ve got to be transparent. And this family wants justice.’”

But Sharpton also made it clear that history, especially involving race and policing, is difficult to shake: “I think the fact that he had a problem with the black police chief in the past—this brings all of this back.”

Buttigieg was not without support from some local leaders. “He’s been methodical about addressing what’s happened since Sunday,” Apostle Michael Patton, president of the local NAACP Chapter, told me. And one of his staunchest critics, City Councilor Regina Williams-Preston, who lost her primary bid to replace Buttigieg in May, even applauded his decision to step away from the campaign. “I think that was the right thing to do to come back and help us through this tragedy.”

On Thursday evening, Buttigieg blasted a lengthy email to supporters about his crisis back home. “Eric’s death,” he wrote, “no matter what details emerge about the circumstances and the actions of the officer involved – shines a bright light on a subject that impacts my life, your life, and the lives of Americans from all walks of life. All police work and all of American life takes place in the shadow of racism, which hurts everyone and everything it touches.”

Through it all there was the sense that despite all that Buttigieg had said, he still was not making headway with some of the most aggrieved of his constituents.

“The family has not had the consoling that they would’ve appreciated,” Oliver Davis, another black city councilor who ran unsuccessfully for Buttigieg’s seat in May, told me. He was shocked that neither Buttigieg nor a member of his administration attended the vigil for the victim Tuesday night.

Meanwhile, Coffman, the Logan family attorney, told POLITICO he planned to file suit against the city on Monday. “There’s several things that don’t add up in the case,” Coffman told me.

Then on Friday, Buttigieg’s campaign announced that he would not attend as planned Rep. Clyburn’s fish fry—a sign of how much he is struggling to extract himself from the crisis and return his focus to the campaign. Though he returned to South Bend for the march on Friday night, he resumed his campaign schedule Saturday to appear at the South Carolina Democratic Party Convention, a Planned Parenthood forum, and then a town hall in North Augusta. He planned to shuttle back to South Bend Saturday night in advance of atown hall of his own he hoped to hold as soon as Sunday. Meanwhile, as the investigators continue their probe of the shooting, the St. Joseph Prosecutor’s Office announced on Thursday that Prosecuting Attorney Kenneth Cotter hasn’t yet decided whether to appoint a special prosecutor in the case. Buttigieg has said he would support an independent investigation by the Department of Justice.

Whatever the outcome, the crisis doesn’t seem likely to be resolved soon.

Back on the basketball court, at the memorial for Eric Logan, in the muggy heat of an Indiana summer, Buttigieg furrowed his brow and placed his thumb and index finger on his chin. He was dressed up in his campaign uniform of white shirt and blue tie with a navy suit jacket. His husband Chasten stood next to him, hands clasped. “We have to learn to listen, as well as to speak,” he told reporters that morning at a press conference outside of South Bend Police Department. And so he was listening.

It was after 6 p.m. by now, the national reporters had left (only temporarily, it turned out). Across the park, black men shoved white styrofoam cups in the gaps of a chain link fence surrounding a baseball field, spelling out Logan’s name.

“We can’t keep getting hurt like this. There’s only so much that we can bear,” said Eli Cantu, the Hispanic activist who organized the memorial, addressing the mayor and other city officials. “This is an opportunity for you, Pete. You can really bridge this gap by addressing this issue correctly. These people need to be held accountable.”

“The officers need to be held accountable,” Cantu told me.

After the last person spoke, Cantu asked people to say something they loved about South Bend.

“The people,” one person said.

“The weather,” said another, causing people to laugh and breaking the tension of the moment.

And then Cantu directed everyone to put their hands in the middle of the circle. “South Bend on three,” he said. Buttigieg and his husband put their hands in the circle.

“South Bend,” they yelled, like it was a team huddle.

As the circle disbanded, and community members milled about, I asked Cantu how Buttigieg was handling the crisis. “I’d give him an ‘E’ for effort,” Cantu told me. “Has it gone somewhere? He’s trying. But is he making the necessary moves? I haven’t seen them yet.”

And Buttigieg kept trying. On Friday night, at the end of the march, he made a promise to the crowd. “I want you to know we’re serious about fixing this.”

There was a smattering of applause.

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