#why won't anyone believe me?!

[dr-abitat-blog]

Day 30: "You're not making sense."

@ailesswhumptober

T/W: Hallucinations, paranoia, degrading mental health language, forced sedation

We’re all in danger.

Don’t tell me how I know, I just know. I’ve…I’ve seen it. Yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but I’m being totally serious right now. I have seen it. The sights. The faces. The sounds — all of it plays out crystal clear in my mind, just as it has from the first moment I was hit by it. The vision.

Anna in the middle of the corridor, her red hair flying around her, screaming.

Multiple hands holding her down.

Masked faces surrounding her on a table.

Flashes of the other boys’ faces — Ash, Levi, Alex — all of them.

All of them, shrieking, machines whirring, lights flashing. Red.

Red. Red. RED.

They’re not here to help us. 

That is the only conclusion I can make. The images, the visions — it was all too clear. Way too clear. It had to be real!

And if it’s real, then I have to warn the others!

That’s exactly why I’m sprinting madly down the corridor right now — because I can hear her, Anna, screaming. Her high pitched horrified wails are exactly like I heard them before. This is what I saw — and if I act quickly enough, I could save her! “Anna! Anna! Calm down!” “N-no, no, get away from me! Get AWAY!” My feet skid to a halt. All the other teens are gathered around her as she paces in the middle of the corridor, clutching at her head, shrieking, raking her nails down her skin as if batting off invisible bugs. It’s…nothing short of a nightmare.

“Anna!”

I push through the crowd, ignoring the gasps and exclamations as I try to reach her. “A-Anna you have to calm down! Don’t give them a reason to take you!” Wherever she is, it’s not here. She doesn’t hear me. All she does is wail louder. My blue eyes widen as I stare at her, helpless, before peering desperately at the others. “C-come on, help me calm her down!” “Dude, there’s no way she’s calming down!”

“Yeah, look at her! She’s lost the plot!” “Sam!” I grit my teeth tightly, shaking my head hard. 

“Guys, listen to me! You don’t understand! We need to get her calm or—”

“There! She’s over here!”

My stomach turns to lead.

T-too late.

The doctors and nurses round the corner. They immediately start trying to herd us to the side, blocking us off from Anna so that they can get to her easier. 

“Don’t crowd her — give her the space, she can’t feel threatened.”

“A-Anna…”

My eyes peer at Ash for a moment. His green eyes are wide with horror, pressing back against Levi. I know Anna is his friend — and I also know that he’s not like the other patients here. He…he at least listens to me.

Maybe…just maybe…he’ll have my back on—

“Will we be needing a sedative, Doctor?” “I think that would be best,” Dr Richards replies, shaking her head, “She’s a danger to herself right now. We need to—”

“No — get away from her!”

I take a confident stride forward, trying to block their access. “Leave her alone! I-I won’t let you take her!” “What on earth are you talking about, Trenton?” My eyes flicker to the other side. Dr Voss has joined us now, folding his arms, concern flashing in his gaze. “We just need to settle her down  before she hurts herself. If you can just step aside—”

“Not happening,” I retaliate, shaking my head hard, “I-I know what you’re doing to us — what you’re going to do to us.”

I swish my head back towards my open-mouthed wardmates, frantically gesturing. “Listen, you have to believe me! We’re not safe here!”

The others immediately start murmuring. A familiar red head scoffs.

“Oh joy, our resident schizo’s at it again!”

“What the heck are you talking about, Trent? We couldn’t be any safer here. It’s a hos-pital.”

“Yeah, what crap are you spouting about—” “This place — it’s not what you think it is!” I continue, yelling above their accusations as I point at Dr Richards, “They’re not helping us — they’re hurting us — and they’ll hurt her if we don’t—!” “Trent, I think you need to calm down—”

“No! I’m not crazy I—”

“The hallucinations have come back, haven’t they?”

Her voice sounds so soft…so concerned…

Could I be…wrong?

“N-no, I saw it! I—”

“I’m so sorry, Trent, but right now…”

Her eyes meet mine. “You’re not making sense.”

Her declaration cuts through like a knife, sending me a sad look. “I understand this is upsetting Trent, but you need to step back. We’ll take it from here.”

“No—NO!”

They start moving towards her. Before I’m aware of what I’m doing I leap at Dr Richards and claw my hand across her face. It only takes a second for me to suddenly find myself pinned against the ground by the other nurses.

“No — nngh — get off me! Get OFF!” I kick and yell, twisting viciously against them. My blonde hair flies in my face as I struggle and writhe—

“Sedative — now! Trent you — nngh — need to calm down! We’re trying to help you!”

Behind me I hear Anna screaming and struggling in protest. That only makes me kick up a fight even more. My wild eyes peer from face to face of the others, Dr Voss and Nurse Taylor holding them back. Not a single one of them runs to our aid. They just…stand there, watching, open-mouthed.

“Sedative ready!” “Good — Trenton, please stop struggling—!” “NO! NO!” I throw back my head in a terrified wail as the sharp tip pierces my skin. The cold feeling of the drug coursing through my veins soon fills me. Desperate, I lock eyes with Ash, reaching out one final time. “A-Ash! Don’t listen to them — DON’T LISTEN! THEY’RE PLANNING THINGS FOR US! BAD THINGS! Don’t…d-don’t let them…let them…hur…”

My words slur into an unintelligible mess. Fog crosses my vision. Colours pulse in and out. The last glance I get is Ash’s teary gaze before the darkness entirely takes over.

[fridgrave2-0]

hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au

turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else

now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident

also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out

[cartoonghosts]

genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.

[medicinemane]

I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition

Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another

You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed

Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)

Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can

I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that

Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn

[softshuji]

Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

Come on, you know you want to, give us the character bingo for Viktor.

don't mind if i doooo

[sisterdivinium]

I'll be posting a little drabble party starting on Dec 8th and ending on Dec 15th to try and explore some other relationships and dynamics between the characters of the show we love.

Here's the schedule if you want to keep up (or even post something of 100 words for the same pairing along with me!):

Dec 8th: Jillian/Suzanne

Dec 9th: Mary/Shannon

Dec 10th: Camila/Lilith

Dec 11th: Ava/Beatrice

Dec 12th: Ava/Lilith

Dec 13th: Ava/Camila

Dec 14th: Mary/Lilith

Dec 15th: Jillian/Suzanne

They will all be tagged "mini drabble regatta" since they deal with, well, ships :)

(yes, both Fridays are reserved for my traditional "doctor superion drabble Fridays", for those who are familiar with my blog -- I allow myself the liberty of giving my OTP emphasis :))

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay this WILL BE SPOILERS. For totk.

THE GREAT PLATEAU IS CURSED I DONT LIKE IT ToT.

Made it here fine! Easy cruising altitude got the map landed no problem. Minimal enemies. There's a YIGA camped in MY MFING SHRINE OF RESURRECTION. It's all overgrown, that's fine ig, but the YIGA?? Get tf. Out.

Go see the temple, a new message from hylia! Very ominous, but yes ma'am! Off we go to free her from the water under the stone gate. Which gate? Well my first thought was the main blocked off entrance that's now a pond. But let's get a shrine first.

Shrine?? Hello???!

So not only is each original shiekah shrine now a pit to tartarus, there's only one new shrine tucked in the back end of the plateau where a goblin camp used to be. Fine! I'll just run everywhere on foot with my +1 stamina, shall I??

No! It's time for a wtf to hunt you down! The air will turn red with racing clouds, the sky is dark, music is playing backwards, I'm launching myself up the nearest tree and it still isn't fast enough. This is literally the fifth or sixth time I've encountered these, at least two directly ending in my death. They don't even get a question mark from the camera unlike any other miasma monster (for example the depth enemies). I've filled them with bomb arrows and it's made a fraction of a dent in one of them. Hateful hydra eye arm things. They're FAST and TALL. It's like the spindly flesh monster from oot but a hundred times worse. They nearly managed to reach me in the tallest tree!

They eventually leave - whatever triggers their disappearance I truly cannot tell - and grab the dark shards they leave. Okay! Cool! Unappreciated! I go into the pit by the lake, it is VERY SCARY, I get some light roots and reveal a whole civilisation! Giant zelda statues point to an enormous building in the shadows, I pluck up my courage and go over. ???? It's a poe eater statue. Enormous. Full bodied. Stretching down below the bridge I'm on. It's got six sunken eyes and they're all looking at me. I'm absolutely begging this thing not to move, I'm literally inching closer. This isn't a zonai carving at all, this isn't even a zonai room. They've dug into the rock, they DISCOVERED it.

It says the same thing.

I'm terrified. I'm beginning to think that whatever talked to me through the hylia statue, in the temple of time, with her voice and her light, isn't hylia.

Still, I've come too far to back out. I don't think denying this thing is wise.

Up I go! Run all the way from the shrine, off the edge, detour to find a new type of cave goblin or two, blow up the blocked entrance to the plateau. Through the carvings I can make out sort of a face? Hope it's hylia!

It. It isn't. It's the six eyed triangle face that eats souls :). Tells me to go back to the temple. I run onto the plateau (!!! Botw me would be so excited), get ambushed by four black armoured Bokoblins in a row, see 'hylia'. It tells me to bring its body in the depths stones from the four ex shrine pits 'for a reward'.

Nintendo.

What did you do?

[pidgefudge]

i hate having to teach myself to manage extreme emotions in a reasonable and stable manner. why cant i just keep stewing in them for hours/days before shoving them deep down and pretending im normal again. Surely There's Nothing Wrong With That

[wasabikitcat]

Has anyone in this Olympics women's boxing argument ever stopped and thought about whether it would make any sense for women to be more susceptible to being injured in boxing than men? Like sure, it's a fairly common assumption that men are physically stronger than women, and therefore a man would have an advantage at boxing because he can punch harder... But how would that make you more resilient to being punched in the nose? Like I would think the assumed advantage would be that women can't hit as hard and therefore would require more effort to take someone down, but what everyone is arguing over is a woman having her nose broken from a punch to the face, when a man's nose would be just as broken from the same punch. Women don't have like, daintier and weaker facial bones or something. Being punched in the face "by a man" when you're a woman is literally no different than being punched in the face by the same person as a man. If we are to assume that men (note: the person being debated about here isn't a man or even a trans woman, she is cisgender, but I digress) are so Herculean that their punches are just too dangerous for women, then men's boxing should be banned outright because it's just too dangerous for men to be punching each other with that strength when a punch to the face is exactly the same for a man as it is to a woman.

[theriverdalereviewer]

everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country

[jmjkjjk]

Okay fanfiction aside I refuse to believe Crowley needed that 'bit on the side' conversation with Nina to come to the realization that he's in love with Aziraphale. Even though I'm convinced it's not the oh moment, I have no idea what else it could be. And consequently I can't justify the nothing burger of a conversation Nina and Maggie had to have with Crowley before the confession. There is no way after thousands of years of pining, a bottle of wine and two meddling sapphics solved it in a day.

[katyspersonal]

It just will forever baffle me how unfair he has been. He kept constantly blaming me for all that was going wrong in his life, he could get upset to the point of wanting to hurt himself or worse over things as little as me disagreeing with his creative ideas or not wanting to listen to something he wanted to share at the moment, he abandoned his friend he knew for two years because he got interested in me too much to give her enough - and then because he convinced himself she didn't care for him anymore.

And I knew, all along, that I was not right for him. I kept telling him to keep reaching out and seek friends that he'd actually like and actually get along with. I kept insisting that he was doing it to himself by clinging to me where clearly he hated me to the point I could've hurt him by as much as setting up boundaries, having different opinions or having limitations as a human being. I told him that that friend he abandoned still cared for him and he could not just decide FOR her. But over and over, he denied everything and begged me to stay, saying how much he wanted to have future together, how I was like a sister he lost a chance to have, how we were supposed to share life experiences together and how I was the only one that felt "real". I kept sticking around despite the abuse, despite how much he was ruining my mental health and my social life (being abused distances you from even close people), all because I could not stand seeing him so hurt and alone. And the last deceit hurt especially bad, because he made me truly believe him. He said something that made me lose my guard, my focus on the fact that I was just a placeholder in his life until he finds someone fitting.

And just like I kept saying, as soon as he got enough money for good life, his mental health improved upon switching meds or something, he met a new friend and reconnected with that exact one he abandoned earlier - he declared me a dead weight on his life that has only been "killing" him and declared that the almost two years he spent with me were just a bad dream he was happy to finally forget.

I knew all along that the best thing I could do for him was to leave him, but I never did. I should have before he stopped caring for me entirely out of blue, because now he didn't even learn anything. He lost nothing of value in his eyes, just a person that "wasted his time". So what if his current friends """fail""" him again? He'll just seek an outlet in new ones, until they prove "useless" and he'll ditch them too, and so on. Some people just can't appreciate someone's personality, they only value people for what they can give to them. Or.. is it just me? At times I am genuinely annoyed when people tell me I am a valuable person and anyone who can't love and appreciate me is an idiot, because on the contrary, in my life all people that despised me and saw me as a waste of their time the most were all high IQ, very well-read and educated, very sophisticated individuals. Clearly, there is a correlation between being very smart and deeming me as human garbage - in a way jealous haters, hypocritical control freaks and callous ableists I've met online never could.

Honestly, sometimes I should decide for someone else. I always knew he hated me and splitting with me was to the better for him, but I let his tears and clinginess force me to feel bad and go back every time. And to doubt that maybe I was the delusional one and could not be sure of someone else's needs. Honestly, guys - when you are given every single indication that you are hated and only kept around out of their fear of loneliness and low self-esteem... it is all there is. It is not a situation where you should listen to your heart, to hope or to give benefit of the doubt. Being abused is something you can only comprehend with mind and knowledge, there is no bigger story and no intricate matters.

Still, I hate how as painfully stupid and naive for my age as I am, I've been able to understand things way more correctly than a much older, much more mature person with high intellect and tons more of life experience. I was right all along, but I hate being right sometimes. And I hate always being discarded as soon as people's lives improve. I hate always being just a placeholder. Apparently, no one whose life is good would ever want to burden themselves with me.

[halinski]

So in my dream last night i literally had like a toddler child around he whole time that my parents were neglecting and it turns out my subconscious was trying to point out i'm failing my inner child too

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Once again begging for literally anything good to happen so I can stop feeling like shit for one day at least

[himalayaan-flowers]

please stop describing ERP as a "gold standard treatment" i am going to cry