fitzhastoomanysideblogs

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Quiet BPD culture is “I’m fine and I have friends :)”

Friends don’t give me nearly enough attention for 5 seconds

“I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself. They hate me and I’m not deserving of friends I’m so annoying and terrible”

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Sitting here like Pls dear god not another spiral PLS but like.it feels so bad knowing I never have and probably never will get to experience what it's like to be genuinely loved

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

BPD culture is not being able to shake the thought that they did that on purpose because what the hell else could it be? Coincidence??? No no they just wanna hurt me so they did it deliberately. My source?? Uh uh uh i just know.

BPD culture is also watching everyone else around you get their happy endings while you're stuck with nothing and nobody and it hurts like hell.

BPD culture is ALSO hating That Person(tm) for what they did and wanting them exploded but also not truly hating them because theyre still special to you. ooough im so tired

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Bpd culture is please stop being nice to me I can’t let you become a FP please the last time I let myself become so close to anyone was three years ago and it ruined my fucking life please don’t let me

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

BPD culture is feeling like people never know what they're getting into when you befriend them even when you straight up TELL them.

That's why it feels like they're lying about literally everything. That's why new people seem to last less and less time the more heartbreak you experience.

They WEREN'T lying at first. They just severely underestimated how broken you were and thought they could hold your shattered heart close to theirs without cutting themselves on the pieces of it. And now you've cut them. Probably multiple times. And now they have to contend with the fact that they made friends with a fucking psycho.

They were drawn in by your warm smile, and the way you absolutely loved them to bits made them so happy...

But now that love is their cage. Their PRISON.

They are trapped in you and they will never trust someone as friendly as you again. And it's entirely your fault.

Every shard breaks in half again.

— 🚬♦️ Maverick

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

bpd culture is splitting on yourself because you can feel yourself getting attached to someone and youre terrified that theyll become a new fp after promising yourself that you wouldnt let it happen again so you dont have to deal with the heartbreak and anger that comes with them leaving

- 🦈⁉️

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

bpd culture is missing your ex fp who hurt you, and who isnt healthy for you, but those little good moments.... oh god, you'll miss them forever. You can feel it in your bones.

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

What reason do I have to.keep living?? Everyone always tells me that I have reasons to keep living but if you listen to me for one minute you'll quickly realize I don't

I'm never going tk be genuinely loved by anyone. I'll never have a partner or friends who care about me. I'll never get to fulfill any of my dreams or get to experience life as an adult. I don't belong anywhere, I'm still struggling because of my ex friend leaving me even 6 years later and my abusive dad has made it clear I will never be free from him no matter what. How is any of this a reason to keep going??

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

you saw me talking about how upset I was that my ex friend was shitty to me (especially after I had confessed to her) and yet you Still have the audacity to start posting like I love my girlfriend!!! we're so happy together and I love her so much :]

fuck you. shut the fuck up. I hope she breaks up with you. I hope she breaks your heart and that you have to put up with Everything I did with my ex friend. I hope you have to go through the same horrific pain as I have for 6 years now. I hope you know what it's like to hate yourself so much you give up on everything and isolate yourself from everyone out of fear that you're not good enough for them either, to blame yourself because there's now Way it could've been Her fault she wouldn't just Leave you for no reason, to spend every hour of the day miserable and wanting to die but you know you can't kill yourself because you're a coward. I want you to know Every little bit of pain I have had to put up with all this time just so you know how it feels

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

i am so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend im serious

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Currently switching between "I hate my fp's gf he's a bitch and stole my one chance at happiness and the one chance I probably ever would've had at romance (I have never had a full conversation with her ever) I hope you two break up so she'll shut up about you and I never have to read your name or see your stupid art and posts ever again" and "Omg i found something I wanted for a reasonable price omg I'm finally going to have it!!! :3"

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Yet another night kf sobbing my eyes out while spiraling and being forced to remember the one person who ever made me feel worthy of love and that I felt safeenoughtk trust and be close to abandoned me and writing out another suicide note while my fp gets to have a girlfriend and be happy and has people who love her and care about her and actually Has reasons to keep living while I don't

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

bpd culture is hating your fp’s partner so fucking much because fuck man. fuck. why do they get to be the center of your universe? why not me?

-🍽️🍫🔪

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

If anyone out there wants me dead I assure you I want me dead more than anyone else

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

It's torture having to remember everyday that my (now ex) fp gets to be happy and I get to stay here suffering

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Suspected bpd culture is feeling pathetic when you realize your favorite person doesn’t need or love you the way you do them.

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[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

I wasn't worth it to her. Now I know I'll never be worth it to anyone else