#but this form of ocd is NOTHING like that

[himalayaan-flowers]

please stop describing ERP as a "gold standard treatment" i am going to cry

[fantasy-costco]

Ramble vent in the tags about. Tumblr.

[micamone]

hey guys

[zoology]

[bioblsm]

WHAT DOES THEIR CAMERA ROLL LOOK LIKE?

❀ ꒰warnings꒱. boothill backstory spoilers, not proofread ಥ_ಥ

𖧷 characters. jing yuan, blade, dr ratio, ruan mei, aventurine, sunday, boothill

☆彡 notes. aventurine 🤝 boothill — being some of the most gay ass mfs i’ve seen in a hyv game (apart from bronya and seele) seriously their flamboyance still gives me whiplash…anyways this has been on my mind for months now but i’ve never gotten around to writing it!!! >_<

JING YUAN 𐚁 景元

[◉"] 2,304 photos, 83 videos

⌖ if you scroll really fast down or up his gallery, all you’ll actually manage to see is splotches of pink, blonde and silver

⌖ everything ranges from cute candid shots of yanqing (he takes multiple if yanqing’s fallen asleep while on duty), to sneaky pictures of fu xuan as she’s working where he’s in the foreground doing peace signs — the final picture of course being her looking at the camera lense directly to glare up at him

⌖ reaching weekends when he’s slightly a little more free or allows himself a small break to stroll around town, his camera roll is either filled with pictures of food he’s eaten or swords that yanqing may or not definitely ask about that he’s now more inclined to buy as he’s seen them in person (he’s a boy dad who loves spoiling his child, alright?)

⌖ the large majority of his photos unfortunately are work related, only really the recent ones being deleted from his gallery to clear up some space

⌖ however, while his photos are preoccupied with either his two kids or random scrolls with messy and rushed handwriting, each video is of you; jing yuan thinks a picture would belittle your beauty too much.

⌖ he needs something a little more real, a little more active and animated to help him quell the chirping loneliness that creeps up on his heart whenever you’re away from him for a prolonged period of time; if he’s feeling particularly mischievous he might sneak a quick but blurry picture of himself to send to you ♡

BLADE 𐚁 刃

[◉"] 9 photos, 2 videos

⌖shit is BARREN. literally a complete EMPTY VOID. if you snatched his phone somehow you’d assume he just got it despite him not having changed it ever since he received one

⌖ perhaps on the occasion you’ll find a cameo picture from one of the stellaron hunters as his phone is left unoccupied and someone decided to blast his entire gallery with their face (silverwolf specifically just hacks into his phone to keep putting random screenshots he’s never taken in his gallery to make him believe he’s taken them)

⌖ maybe sometimes he’ll screenshot different ways to die or health clinic locations he can avoid when he’s fortunately bleeding out but otherwise? nothing.

⌖ if you’re a massive yapper and love sending him pictures, he won’t go out of his way to download them for later usage (whatever that may be…) but he also won’t go out of his way to delete it if it’s accidentally automatically downloaded on his phone — maybe elios intended for it to be there?

⌖ it’s quite nice having a reminder of his significant other where he doesn’t have to actively listen to their voice… that’s a little exaggerative; but he loves just mapping out the features in your face, it helps him sleep just the slightest bit better with no ailment if he’s able to trace your features like a constellation on his blank, dark wall

DR RATIO 𐚁 真理医生

[◉"] 1000 photos, 100 videos

⌖ call it a form of ocd, but he NEEDS to have a decent ratio (i didn’t even mean for this to be a pun i’m so sorry) of his photos to videos; he doesn’t care if it’s 10:1, 2:1 1:5, he needs something that’s at least somewhat pleasing to the eyes

⌖ ratio immediately deleted anything he doesn’t need or thinks he won’t find use in for at the very least the month (this includes every single cameo shot aventurine or you have taken of yourselves on his phone without his permission, which by the way, he didn’t hesitate to scold you two for)

⌖ maybe if he’s feeling particularly loving (when is he ever?) he’ll allow ONE picture to stay.

⌖ his camera roll is purely filled with test results, written exams, student emails he needs to read over, things concerning the guild or the ipc and secret purchases of ducks he’s made (he’s not ashamed, he just doesn’t want you to know he’s buying ducks that are bigger in size every time so he can fill your shared bathroom)

⌖ realistically, maintaining such a perfect ratio of photos:videos is rather impossible unless you’ve got impeccable timing with things you save and delete so, in order to bypass this, ratio made a photo library to help serve as a base number of sorts

⌖ that photo library is of course a secret and locked haven filled with pictures and videos of you, none of which you can even recall taking. all of them hold at least some sort of significance to the both of you, but the ones that dr ratio loves the most is the ones that are just natural

⌖ the ones that show you being yourself, whether it’s where you’re cuddled up near a blanket reading something with a leg hiked up over the sheets or where you’re sleeping with your mouth wide open because you’re sick and unable to breathe through your nose properly; he loves it all

RUAN MEI 𐚁 阮•梅

[◉"] 505 photos, 28 videos

⌖ she tries to keep it as neat as possible; that means no sneaky pics taken of her by you, accidental blurry shots she’s taken (god forbid, those ones are immediately scrapped and done anew especially if related to an experiment of hers) thought that doesn’t mean she clears it in the regular

⌖ ruan mei actively saves any photo you send her, sometimes she’ll even screenshot the chat itself if she finds herself clutching at her heart as she swoons over a few lines of flirting that apparently you couldn’t hold yourself back from due to how much you missed her

⌖ she’s not someone really sentimental so despite having photos of her little cake-cat hybrids, she rarely ever rechecks them unless the trailblazer sent another report on their status to match

⌖ honestly her memory is impeccable to the point she doesn’t even need screenshot reminders of things like dates and experiments saved (would it even be called machine reductionist to call her a walking computer model at this point?) therefore, anything she saves that’s work or science related probably has more intricacies that she can account for

⌖ her gallery is a little boring otherwise. for someone of her morally grey standards you’d expect at least something worth mentioning, maybe even something dumb like a secret recipe she uses to make the sweetest (anti-truth serum…) pastries but no— nothing.

yet the reason for that is very blatant; not even her beloved has the privilege to witness her mendacity.

AVENTURINE 𐚁 ��金

[◉"] 8,793 photos, 777 videos

⌖ it’s a complete and utter mess to say the very least; dr ratio refuses to so much as glance at it whenever he’s near and topaz just gets an ick:

“how do you even manage to find anything?”

“luck.”

⌖ his photos range from absurd, to sweet to egotistical. things that remind him of you such as random rocks he finds, alcoholic beverages that have the same colour scheme of an outfit you wore the night before, an animal he saw that he swears if reincarnation was real would so be you

⌖ he has a specific library for just solely screenshots based off your chats, most of them including a significant amount of “i love yous” and goodbyes that promised a little something more when you met up next; everything that aventurine utterly cherished and craved

⌖ …and then the rest was either him showing the background of him photobombing others, pictures he took to send to you (or one of the ipc members to piss them off, sometimes even the trailblazer for a cheeky laugh) and on the even more popular occasion, all his extraordinary wins whether it be in poker, pool or uno

⌖ compared to his photos, his videos are slightly more interesting. a near 50/50 split that ranged between him telling dumbass jokes to piss off his coworkers, recordings of the back of dr ratio’s and or topaz’s head just for the future laughs (he likes the reminder that he does actually have friends and they aren’t just deliberate hallucinations born of loneliness).

⌖ but of course, all his “favourited” videos involve you somehow. sometimes it’s just a slip of your name while he’s sneakily recording a meeting, him telling you he misses you or vice versa, other times it’s just when he feels like he has a home. you snuggled up on his chest, hands intertwined together as your breathing nearly synchronises with him…moments where he feels as though he could forget the trademark imprinted onto his neck.

SUNDAY 𐚁 星期日

[◉"] 777 photos, 111 videos

⌖ now as much as i want to say “oh it’s all you! he has a special folder for you <3” i unfortunately can’t.

⌖ it’s almost most definitely videos of robin’s concerts, solo shows, videos he stolen off of audience members with good seats when he wasn’t available to personally hide in the crowd…a lot of the photos are also the same way; robin’s promotional pictures, screenshots from her recent advertisements and negative hate comments or news stories that he’s going to personally deal with later

⌖ that doesn’t mean he values or priorities you over his sister, absolutely not. you two are the only people in his life who he would unironically take down the skies and survive utter torment for if it meant your voices were the last things he heard as bellowing winds sliced past his eardrums to tune the world out in order to hear his own final breath

⌖ he tries his best not to be sentimental or nostalgic, as he’s been told as he grew up into the bright and maybe just slightly tragic and guilt-infested man he is today, those things in his eyes are an innate weakness of humanity. clinging onto something thats not tangible anymore.

⌖ but he can’t help but hold on to every video you send him. every picture of you smiling, laughing, every text of you saying i love yous, quoting love songs to him or showing him pictures where you jokingly said “that’s us” (did he tilt his head a few times when you kept sending animals to him with that particular correspondent message? perhaps, but it never made him blind to the intentions).

BOOTHILL 𐚁 波提欧

[◉"] 12,113 photos, 191 videos

⌖ he truly doesn’t gaf (give a fork) about how messy it is, all the things that are genuinely important are already locked and loaded into his noggin’, there’s no point in being frugal with the space he’s been given on a little cellular device

⌖ you wouldn’t believe it, but he rarely uses it unless it’s for emergencies. there’s plenty of trouble that comes around when you’re a galaxy ranger, which means having a constant tracking device on you like a phone that you update daily is a stupidly bad idea; which is precisely why his photo gallery is a mess

⌖ he quite literally can’t go in and clear it out otherwise it risks giving out sensitive information.

⌖ not applicable to you, that is. in boothill’s eyes, you’re an “emergency”. if you’ve texted him, it’s obvious you want his attention, which potentially means you could be in danger and he has to rush to the rescue like the flamboyant cowboy he is (no he absolutely knows you don’t need help, but there’s always that nagging “what if” factor, you know?)

⌖ he inwardly blesses whoever invented screenshotting because it would be an understatement to say that little as half of his gallery is littered with you. he’s just a bit of a boomer when it comes to technology like this, despite being a whole walking charging port himself ehem, so a lot of the pictures he has saved of you that you sent over whenever he cutely pleaded;

“missing ya, send me a lil’ somethin’ wont you?”

unfortunately are uncropped and framed with the outline of whatever messaging app you’re on.

⌖ if he lets you scroll up far back enough, maybe you’ll get to see just a glimpse of how similar his adoptive daughter’s smile was to his

© BIOBLSM ✮ do not copy steal or repost

[ambros1an]

hsr x gn!reader relationship hcs

warnings: penacony spoilers (2.0+), bug mention (screwllum), angsty (aventurine & acheron), ocd mention (sunday), slight dark content (ie stalking) at end in Sundays but it’s marked in red to avoid if uncomfy

characters: sunday, screwllum, acheron, aventurine

a/n: i feel like it’s so obvious i did like 2 of these a week later 💀 i need more Sunday content in game

sunday

❧ if you manage to get past Sunday’s formal exterior, what lies behind it is a complete “know-it-all.”

❧let him nerd out about the greatest books in the current and past amber eras. he’ll make sure to tell you all about the authors too.

❧if the two of you have liking books in common, congrats! he’ll bring you on a tour to the primal waking library where you can chat all about it.

❧sunday’s compulsions become even worse with you around. is his shirt properly tucked in? he hopes there’s no wrinkles, maybe he should iron all his shirts again. oh gosh-are his shoes untied? you don’t even notice this. he’s used to hiding his true feelings.

❧he definitely confesses first. he’s aware that his status can be a hindrance when forming genuine relationships.

❧ maybe afterwards he’ll let you touch his wings. he loves the feeling of you stroking his feathers. especially when those annoying pin feathers grow in. the biggest sign of trust amongst birds- and sunday of course.

❧ and obviously you always get free vip to robin’s shows.

❧before and after the “Robin incident” are two very different Sundays.

❧the after, is a very possessive Sunday. he can’t have you become like Robin. he uses nightingales to keep watch on you, to make sure you’re safe. he knows it’s unhealthy but he just lost his sister, he can’t lose you too.

-

Aventurine

❧aventurine’s flirty facade fools most people. they think he’s sleazy and untrustworthy, and so do you in the beginning.

❧at first he talks to you because he thinks your reactions are amusing.

❧eventually your relationship gets too deep for comfort.

❧this guy will never open up. if he has feelings for you, you’ll never know. it’s not because he’s ashamed. it’s because he cannot comprehend someone actually liking him.

❧the only way he’ll confess is if you do it first. and even then he plays it off like a joke, something he can’t even believe. it takes a lot of button pressing to get him to admit his feelings.

❧aventurine is a very vulnerable person. he may rub off insults but they still hurt him deep.

❧the first time you hug him, he is baffled. affection has been foreign to him since the extinction event.

❧worming your way into his heart will get you even more riches then before. sure, he hands out money like nothing, but to you? that credit card is unlimited.

❧”what, that’s all?” he encourages you to spend.

❧brings you to casinos for good luck. not as if he needed any, but with you at least his hand doesn’t shake.

-

screwllum

❧ it isn’t uncommon for inorganic species to feel love. just as it isn’t uncommon for organic species not to.

❧ Screwllum, however, hasn’t experienced that feeling.

❧ he sees the way organic species love in a way he hasn’t. as a genius society member and one interested in life itself, how could he not be interested.

❧ which is why when he starts feeling a fluttering in his chest whenever you’re around, he must get to the bottom of it!

❧ confesses instantly. he has zero experience yet remains so confident.

❧ immediately takes time out of his day to interact with you. in whatever way possible.

❧ it could be the busiest day of his life and he’ll still make time for you.

❧ he’s described as a gentlemen by his close companions. this means opening doors for you, taking you out to places, etc.

❧ sounds too good to be true. but it is true.

❧ his one flaw, if you can even call it that, is his love for all life. and that includes bugs! no smashing them on his watch! he’s picking them up before you even get the chance.

❧ if you like bugs, even better. he’ll gently pick them up and talk about them with you. the two of you can take turns.

-

Acheron

❧ the first time you meet her, you think she’s a polite but introverted lady. she claims to be a galaxy ranger and you have no reason to doubt her.

❧ her blunt way of speaking leaves no room for questions.

❧ that is, until you get too entangled in each other’s destines.

❧ your first meeting with acheron, wasn’t actually your first. you’ve met her many times. every time though she seems not to know you.

❧ Acheron lies to protect you. just as she lied about being a galaxy ranger, she lies that she has no feelings whatsoever towards you.

❧ perhaps you remind her of someone she once knew.

❧ on some days, acheron traverses through her memories to look for you. she sees the hurt look in your eyes, but sees your smiles too. the path of a self-annihilater is a lonely one.

❧ ultimately, if you manage to convince her with words and actions that you truly care for her. she will put forth that effort tenfold. she desperately doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

❧ acheron is very protective towards you. if there’s a hint of danger, she’ll encourage you to take her with you. even going on her own to eliminate it herself.

credit to @/miau-meow-miau for first divider 🫶

[dimonds456]

Okay so I just had this REALLY vivid dream and I need to write it down before I forget

Basically, it starts with Stan knocking on Ford's door, and he does the "HAVE YOU COME TO STEAL MY EYES???" thing. Once Ford realizes it's Stan, he drags him into the house and checks his eyes. From there, Stan's like "hey uhh?? Explanation?? You look like shit btw" and Ford's just like "that's not important so long as I have full functionality over my body" and then he tripped over fucking nothing.

So Stan squints at him like "....when was the last time you slept?" and Ford genuinely thinks about it for a minute and then goes "Iiii don't know. But that doesn't matter, I need to show you something." Cuts to the basement.

Ford asks Stan to take his journal, phrasing it the same way as the show. Stan starts to get rightfully angry, asking what the fucking book as to do with ANYTHING. Also that doesn't explain why he's refusing to take a goddamn nap. Ford shakes his head, insisting that NO THIS IS IMPORTANT PLEASE. Stan, sensing that this is bigger than he's seeing, agrees to take the book, but only once he finally leaves the house.

Ford's like "what does that mean" and Stan's like "bro it's the middle of February and your heat isn't running. You are refusing to sleep. You look like shit. I don't know what the FUCK is going on and I'm not leaving until I'm sure that you're okay, okay?" Ford freaks out, insisting that he can't stay here because it's too dangerous, and hardened-streetboy Stan just rolls his eyes like "dude I've been shot AND stabbed before, whatever it is I can handle it."

Ford keeps trying to put his foot down, and it starts to escalate into an argument, until Ford yells "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE?!" and Stan yells back "BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU, DAMMIT"

This makes Ford pause. He looks down, shivering, and agrees to go back upstairs and try to explain this, but Stan can only stay here for a little while. It's too dangerous. Maybe... maybe he can come back once the book is hidden? Stan nods, saying he'll do that, but again, after he makes sure Ford is able to take care of himself.

As they go back upstairs, Ford keeps anxiously checking the windows and doors to the point of compulsion (i hc he has OCD, and this whole situation 1000% made it worse). Stan asks if he's looking for someone, and Ford says yes...? Maybe? He's not sure WHAT to look for, only that there's something coming. He's lost track of the exact time, but it should be soon.

They start another conversation where Stan tries to figure out what the fuck is happening to his brother and Ford refuses to let him in, just trying to appreciate his company instead, but Stan's not making it easy because he keeps prying. It builds to another argument, where Ford insists he'll tell Stan everything once he takes the book and hides it somewhere no one will ever find it. Stan offers to burn it instead, and Ford shouts NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. So we're back to talking in circles

While this argument is happening, black ooze starts to drip from one of the mirrors in the house. Neither brother notices, though, allowing the goop to grow more and more, until eventually, it starts moving towards them. Once it's just outside the door to the room they're in, it pauses, waiting a moment.

"If you're never gonna see this thing again, then what does it MATTER if it's still intact or not?"

"Because that's my life's work, Stanley! I can't just destroy it!"

"But you don't want anyone to ever see it again, right? So what's the point? You didn't even want me to tell YOU where I was gonna bury it!"

"That's not- RRR" Ford grabs at his hair and slams his eyes shut in frustration.

The goop attacks. It shoots forward, slamming into Ford and forming into a creature mid-air, something resembling the Hide Behind with with a more goblin-like face. It slams Ford to the floor with a laugh, and starts clawing at his eyes. "TIME'S UP!" it shouts.

Stan initially jumps back in surprise, but it only takes a moment before he's jumping in, too, trying to get this thing off of his brother. The Eye Stealer barely reacts, though, and keeps clawing at Ford's face. Stan launches himself full-body into the thing, throwing it off of Ford, who grabs at his left eye- or left eye socket, as it were.

The Eye Stealer holds up the stolen eye, and tells Stan that it won't hesitate to take his eyes, too. Stan yells at the thing to "COME AND GET EM" before throwing himself at it. Ford's screaming at him to run, and Stan watches as he gets to his feet. The Eye Stealer looks back at Ford, moving to lunge at him again, before Stan picks up the nearest object and hurls it at the creature. "You want both our eyes? Come and get me, dumbass!"

Then Stan runs out of the house. Ford's holding his head in pain and clearly isn't moving anywhere fast soon, so the Eye Stealer decides to follow Stan. If he can get both of them down to one eye, then all four are as good as his.

Stan runs out to his car and flings open the door. There, in the back seat, is the bat he had before. He grabs it, then waits for the Stealer to get right behind him before swinging it at the creature's head as fast as possible. Then he runs back inside while the creature is recovering.

"WHAT IS THAT THING??" he yells as he finds Ford again. Ford is trying to get up the stairs to find somewhere to hide, and Stan helps by grabbing his hand and dragging him up there faster.

"I don't know," Ford replies. "I was just told he was going to steal my eyes. I don't know anything else about him!"

Stan blanches. "Who the FUCK told you that?!"

Ford gets a dark look. "A monster."

Stan opens his mouth to ask more questions before the Eye Stealer comes up behind them. Stan takes a swing with the bat, missing it, but hitting a mirror instead. The Eye Stealer gasps, looking towards it, then tells Stan to watch it. Stan grins.

"What, you some kinda mirror monster? Well then, how about I go shatter every mirror in the house?"

"You think I'd let you?"

"Try me."

Attention once again on Stan, the Eye Stealer runs off to chase him while Ford tries to figure out something to do. His mind is sludge, though, from the sleep deprivation, and every few moments, he gets hallucinations of things just outside his peripheral and always jumps from it. His anxiety is through the roof, making it hard to focus.

Stan has been running through the house smashing every mirror he can, all while the Eye Stealer chases him. Stan is tired, and hungry, and desperate, but he's in a better physical state than Ford, so he's able to better hold his own- but not enough. Right before he's about to break the last mirror- the one the monster came through- it grabs his jacket and drags him back down to the floor. Stan swings again, but this time, the Stealer grabs the bat and hurls it away. It starts to claw at Stan's eyes this time.

Hearing Stan's screams from downstairs, Ford grabs one of the prisms that's laying around the place. He stumbles down there and initially aims to hurt the monster, but instead, he throws it so it cracks the last mirror. The monster wails, stumbling back, allowing Stan to get to his feet. The Stealer realizes that he's fucked if he stays here, so he moves towards the mirror.

"This isn't over. I have a quota. Bill was very insistent I complete my mission. I'll be back for you- BOTH of you." Then he went through the mirror, which Ford shatters as soon as it's gone.

Ford's down an eye and they're both pretty badly hurt, but they made it.

From there I think I woke up but that was my dream that I wanna make into a fic now, lol

[icyg4l]

PAC: Romanticize the Fall 🍂

Hello beautiful people! Welcome to the season of fall! I hope you all are having a wonderful start to this season. Today's reading will be all about how you can improve your fall by adding simple things to your routine. If you would like to book a reading, go to my pinned post and check out my guidelines and then click on my booking website to confirm the details. So without further ado, select the pile that resonates with you.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-3)

Pile One: As I was pulling for this pile, I heard the word "pathologize". It basically means to treat someone as abnormal or unhealthy. You guys may be Vitamin D deficient or are prone to depression/anxiety. You may even struggle with OCD or BPD. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging this properly. The best form of action may be for you to get diagnosed in order to fully enjoy this season. It feels like you need something to look forward to when it gets cold. Try to get out of your house and see what's going on in your community when it comes to fitness. If you're trying to save money, look out for some free fitness sessions. Go attend a pilates session if your school has one. You give me 2000s soccer mom vibes. Just show up and you will see how quickly your life changes! Your health will become of utmost importance to you. Treat it as such. You only have one body so treat it with kindness while you're still here. Lock in and you will see the world more clearly.

Cards Used: 8 of Swords, Prince of Cups, King of Cups, 10 of Discs

extras: ibs symptoms. seasonal depression. freedom. jimmy fallon. attachment issues. snoring. pleasers. mirror by the bed.

Pile Two: Pile Two, I can tell that you have a playful side to you. You're someone that is tapped in with you're inner child. I am seeing a kid run in front of their tv in their pajamas and admiring what's on it. You should get back to doing that. Make it your goal to watch something that you loved to indulge in as a kid. For some of you, it was Spongebob. For some of you, it was Hannah Montana. For others of you, it was Henry Danger. Grab a snack after work or after school and just watch whatever your childhood self loved! Another thing that you could do is bake cookies to welcome in the fall season. I am seeing those pumpkin sugar cookies that Pillsbury makes in my third eye. Eat some pumpkin/chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream! Buy some fall chips from Trader Joe's. Engage with your senses, lovely!

Cards Used: The Moon, 4 of Discs, 6 of Discs, The Emperor.

extras: italiano. foxy brown. vic mensa. doughboy. fallen branches. freezer burn. retired partier. wintrust bank. forman mills.

Pile Three: This diva! Baby, if you are feeling lonely, then you need to open up your mouth! If you want some company, then just say that! You're way too prideful and it's costing you in human connections, whether it's romantic or platonic. Some of you could be into ghost stories or conspiracy theories. There is someone around you that is into the same shit. By refusing to make connections with other people, you are rejecting a part of yourself. Some of you may be traumatized by past experiences. Others of you may be in a codependent relationship. It's time for you to branch out, babe. I am channeling the movie 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' (hopefully your experience is nothing too similar like this movie lol). I am seeing two people walking through the leaves, talking enthusiastically to one another. You don't have to dream about it! Actualize it, love!

Cards Used: 2 of Cups, The Devil (RX), 5 of Discs, 3 of Cups.

extras: brass kunckles. humming at night. spooky season. pride events. hamptons. labor day. simon says. comic book nerd.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Shigaraki's Psychological Conditions Headcanons - (a long ass post)

So, I'll preface this by saying I am NOT a psychiatrist and am not qualified to diagnose shit. I do however have a history of personal mental health disorders and am going to school for mental health work. This is mostly just for theory sake. My word is not absolute

Let's begin

warnings: mental illness as title suggests, not proofread and probably has typos

Antisocial Personality Disorder / Conduct Disorder

This one sort of goes without saying cuz duh he's a villain or whatever. I want to specify that in terms of Antisocial Personality, he likely is a sociopath, NOT a psychopath

I hear people call him a psychopath all the time and it's infuriating because people throw around labels without understanding what they mean. Psychopaths are more cunning and charming, and very manipulative. This isn't to say that Tomura is none of those things. Psychopath, however, applies to people like All For One. Almost diplomatic and very persuasive.

Tomura is a sociopath because he's known for recklessness and abrasive behavior. Psychopaths often pretend to have feelings, but for sociopaths aggression is a key emotion that's visibly displayed. They are also able to feel remorse in some cases, and I run this back to Shigaraki because he spent years in what was implied to be repressed guilt regarding the death of his family. Tomura admits it himself in his flashbacks, but ultimately decides to let go of that guilt (that he still fucking feels and is in DENIAL but that's another post). Hence, his forgiving nature toward his mother and sister when he's dreaming during surgery.

Even after Tomura let that burden go, he has no desire to be cool and collected, he just fucks around and finds out. Overall, though, he disregards people's lives and doesn't have remorse for what he's done because he throws his trauma and desires over it as a bandaid. He does show care and consideration to people in the League, though.

The conduct disorder part of it is self-explanatory. He's a violent criminal, lol.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Duh.

Trauma is pretty much all Tomura has known. I won't reiterate his backstory, but being physically abused and rejected as a child, the murder of his family, being blatantly ignored by people on the streets, and AFO's upbringing? That's a lot

His PTSD is so dehibilitating that it took hold of his body language and behavior. Before the end of s5, Tomura was rigid and hunched over. In the MHA video games, he's also seen as very restless and moving his body around (until s4 era in One's Justice 2). I'll attach a video below.

He's also just very irritable and easily set off at the reminders of his trauma and rejection. "I HATE YOU" is a key example, as up to that point Tomura had been improving his rash behavior, but he's very unsettled by his past and continues to be now.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

His case of OCD is connected to his trauma and emotions. You'll find that a lot of his conditions feed into one another. For him, he has a variant of dermatillomania (often known as the skin picking disorder). For him, that is in the form of scratching rather than picking. But he does it compulsively and without thought, and he does it in attempts to self soothe. I believe he does it occasionally as a self injurious behavior, resulting in itching himself rather than lashing out. He even just does it when he's only moderately anxious or irritated.

Depression

While we don't see Shigaraki slumped in bed or feeling sad in the ways we see in many cases of depression, his "I hate everything" mentality puts him here. Actually, it's safe to say he experiences anhedonia, which is the lack of enjoyment in anything. He seems to somewhat enjoy video games, but his bio states "nothing" as his likes. I'm inclined to believe he feels no personal joy or happiness, and tries to attain that through murderous rage. Never works tho, does it Tomura?

Bipolar Disorder and Unspecified Psychotic Disorder

This one might stir some debates, but I do genuinely think he has a mood disorder. I don't want to feed into stigma that bipolar and psychotic people are "evil," because I myself have these conditions, so maybe I'm projecting lmao. He's definitely not medicated, and so I'd say his case is Bipolar Type 1. This type is characterized by intense manic symptoms, though depressive symptoms can be severe, too.

Tomura has manic tendencies, and he's impacted by mania in that he seems to get spontaneous motivation, but he also will stay stagnant for some time. I saw this as the case when Spinner literally went at Shiggy for putting the League in a complacent stage, but he's done this before, such as when he was in a slump about Stain. When his motivation surges, though, he goes above and beyond and doesn't put extensive thought into it. He just lunges into his desires in pursuit of satisfaction. He also has delusions of grandoisity to some degree and has a moment where he treats himself as invincible. He fought Gigantomachia for almost two months, and kept fucking going at him. Surely, he could've asked the doctor to call him off, but Tomura wanted that power so bad. Tomura also went into his surgery without asking many questions about it. He makes very impulsive decisions, even after people insist that he "matured." He also gets flicked into motivation like a snap of a finger, and proceeds to be lead mostly by endorphins and gratification.

When Tomura experiences what he perceives as a "positive" emotion, it overtakes him. He becomes pretty much engrossed in his bodily sensations. Through maniacal laughter and taunting language that's charged in a hate induced fuel. When Shigaraki has "voila" moments, he has a surge in neuroactivity and gets into aggressive mood stages, but I guess that could apply to most of the villains. I saw this when Deku told him the difference between him and Stain, and Tomura had a surge in manic-like bliss and drive.

I'm not sure if Tomura hearing the voices of his family before his epiphany was just intrusive thoughts, but I thought they may have been auditory hallucinations. Tomura admits to hearing things that aren't there and seeing visual hallucinations, too. Evidenced by:

I hate how the dub translated this into "when you're this tired" as a broad statement. The manga gives this more personal association to Shigaraki, and he says that it happens when he's sleepy, and doesn't specify if it's only when he's extremely sleep deprived or just tired. Also, him staying up for days on end and smiling his ass off reeks of mania. He has delusional sprinkles in his thinking process, but they're not of bizarre nature, and are usually tied to his trauma. At this point in the manga he's very psychotic, though. That has a lot to do with him being fueled with adrenaline and also just breaking out of AFO's control.

I think he is either bipolar type 1 with psychotic features or has a mild case of schizoaffective disorder. Probably the first one, but I'm not sure.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder)

This one is more of a gut feeling for me, but I see Tomura as being easily distracted and aloof to his surroundings at times. He's fidgety and does shit on whim.

Also, look at his room.

I'm not saying that everyone with ADHD has a messy room, but from what I can see, he goes from one task, drops it entirely without picking up, and goes to the next. Some could argue that Tomura simply doesn't care, and that's true, but he's at least got some decency to put the shit in trash bags. Trash bags that he HASN'T EVEN TAKEN OUT. I think he gets too caught up in the shit he's focused on that it slips his mind to do simple things like that.

He has spontaneous interests from what I can tell from the many books and toys he has that seem to have gone untouched for some time. He also hyperfixates, and I don't mean interest wise. I mean that when he's dwelling on something, it doesn't leave his mind for DAYS, until he gets some gratification. All Might in s1 and Stain s2 for example.

-

In conclusion, this boy has a grocery list of conditions, but I love Tomura. I love my beautiful prince with a disorder, and he is so dear to me.

I'm open to discussions about this, but please keep them respectful.

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

i have this idea/possible au in my head and its been floating around for a while. it came to me when i realised that there were 5 lords in black and 5 nerdy prudes (including steph), and i thought what if these poor kids were each haunted by one of the LiB...

Ruth with Pokey, because of her love for theatre and dreams of being the star of a show. pokey would find her weak spot by offering her the role of a lifetime, her chance to be in the spotlight for once. i also have a hc for ruth that she has some form of ocd, and pokey has an affinity for everything to be perfect and in order, too.

Grace with Blinky, because her family and upbringing has taught her that everything she does in her life is under critical review. in grace's mind, she's always being watched anyways. she is always being judged or judging herself based on her actions and the "sins" she does/doesnt commit. honestly, she's so freaked out by doing the right thing at all times, she might already be watched by blinky.

Pete with Tinky, mostly because of that Spankoffski connection. of course, tinky wants to have the whole collection. ive thought a lot about how if ted is the time bastard, its likely that tinky would appoint his little brother as the space bastard. i hc pete to have a lot of social anxiety issues (im projecting) and believe me, it would be hell of a lot easier if space and time were on his side now and again.

the last two took some thinking. so bear with me.

Steph with Nibbly. not just because of nibblys "yum yum" line, or the very popular headcanon that steph's mother was honey queen (i still believe that she was, btw). but i think as the mayor's daughter, steph was raised to be very aware of her public image, that includes how she is perceived AND who she is associated with. before pete came into the picture, she probably had a lot of exes within the "cool kids" dating pool. someone she can be with for a few weeks to keep up her status, suck them dry until she couldn't bare to be with someone she didnt actually love, and then move onto the next. additionally, she probably has an idea in her head that she has to make herself "desirable" in order to keep up with the cool kids. between her hunger for attention, her father's hunger for success, and the overall high school hunger for popularity, nibbly would find a lot of places in steph to tap into.

lastly, Richie and Wiggly. and no, this has nothing to do with Jon playing both characters. richie, in my eyes, is a child at heart. not that he's immature or anything, but he just has a love for the simpler things. he likes anime and sci fi films. and, sure, he's smart and likes science, but he's not looking forward to college like his other nerdy friends. part of him wants to stay a kid forever, a feeling he would grow out of in time, but not before wiggly could take a stab at him. wiggly puts himself into a doll, for fucks sake. wiggly wants power and control, and richie wants his friends to stick around. wiggly wouldn't have to try very hard to befriend richie through his love of "childish" things, and from there he could "help" richie make sure his friends never, ever, leave.

im not sure how this would go, but the LiB each picking a different member of this friend group would cause a lot of competition down in the Black, and put a lot of strain on the relationships up in Hatchetfield.

[creature-wizard]

Speaking as someone who struggles with scrupulosity OCD, a perverse desire to make choices that severely hurt you (and even others) because they feel like the Most Righteous in the moment is a Whole Entire Thing.

In those moments? It feels like making those choices is performing some sort of Great Good that just somehow transcends the actual outcomes and impacts. Sure, you might doom yourself and everyone around you, but it feels like you'd be doing something so noble that it just doesn't matter. It's like a form of spiritual ecstasy. Even though you are suffering, or perhaps because you are suffering, you feel like you're transcending this corrupt world and nothing that happens in it actually matters. The pain you're feeling might be extreme, but it just proves how dedicated you are to your Principles. You let the leopard eat your own face off and you feel so superior about it. Meanwhile, everyone out there who's saying "uh hey maybe we should do something about these face-eating leopards? Like I know Leopard-B-Gone is made from ingredients known to increase people's risk of cancer but I think this is better than everybody getting eaten??" look like a bunch of reprobates.

And what's actually happening here is that you're so high on your own masochistic ego that it's difficult to recognize that you are not a good person, you aren't even a functional human being right now, you cannot function in a society, and you are in fact the problem.

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

[calware]

post about me. i added pictures to keep it interesting

i've had a problem for most of my life that i'm currently visualizing as a gray dorito poking into me. it's frustrating, inconvenient, difficult to deal with, and overall makes everything suck a little. many people have told me that this problem is most likely adhd, such as my therapist in high school who said it was "textbook." unfortunately, she was just a therapist, not a psychiatrist, and therefore wasn't actually qualified to diagnose me with anything. this was in 2021 when there were no child psychiatrists in my area accepting new patients (thanks, covid), so instead my doctor gave me a few adhd meds at differing doses to see if any of them stuck (i had literally no reaction to Any of them) and the whole thing went nowhere

so, is the problem actually adhd? i'm an adult now and could pay several hundred dollars (of my parent's money) to get a proper test, but it would make no difference as my issues would not be solved by adhd medication (maybe. i'm worried i somehow messed it up) or any form of accommodations. i don't want to ask my parents to pay for something that likely won't have much impact (and my mom wouldn't be fully convinced anyway. both parents are pretty sure there's nothing wrong with me). i want to know, but the time and money don't justify it. so the best solution i have is to keep going, keep learning which lifestyle changes to make and how to "work smarter". i'll be okay. and i say that with sincerity

whoops, forgot my glasses here. this is another gray dorito-shaped problem, only this one is much smaller. i rarely notice it, and when i do, it's superficial. it's only gotten genuinely bad twice in my life. it's my paranoia, obsessiveness, and, on occasion, compulsions that follow those obsessions. now, i know what you're thinking, which is that it kind of sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. frankly, from my understanding, my issue is so negligible that it doesn't qualify as OCD. like i said, it barely affects me. it still bothers me that it's there, though. i do my best to deal with it, letting my thoughts pass as they come to me and not trying not to give into/breaking out of compulsions, but i just don't want it there at all

this is another thing i could see a therapist about, but does a problem this small really justify the time and expenses of seeing a professional? not in my case (not for me, at least. don't apply this to your own problems if you genuinely want to seek professional help)

i have a goal to have enough disposable income later in life to justify paying a scientist to pick through my brain for my own amusement. because, despite no substantial foreseeable improvements to my mental health after getting a psych evaluation, i still find the idea to be really exciting. i have a strong desire to understand how my mind works, how my brain ticks, why i am the person i am. that's how i know that if i ever played sburb, id have the heart aspect (that's right. you thought that this was just a personal post on my homestuck blog that had nothing to do with homestuck. do you really think i would do that? make off-topic posts solely about me on a homestuck blog? look, i even remembered to draw my glasses this time and i made them homestuck glasses. because i care about you guys) and i am vain and self-centered enough to desperately want someone with a phd to talk about me for an hour. and no, i don't need a therapist to tell me why that is, i already figured that one out allllll on my own

[squeakintothevoid]

I genuinely like how awful Slim Shady is.

Okay, I do think he goes overboard sometimes. There's a lot of lyrics you should be offended by, but here's the thing:

I have a form of OCD where I am bombarded by disturbing thoughts. Absolutely heinous and terrifying. Or rude at the very least. But I actually haven't had those thoughts very much for a few years now. You know why?

I learned how to imagine the OCD as a loser 13-year-old edgelord who has nothing better to do, and suddenly it became easier to not be scared of my own thoughts. The fear is what keeps the thoughts coming.

So when I discovered Slim Shady, I was like hey! I have a dumbass prick in my brain too! Shady lyrics made intrusive thoughts so laughable that I can't even take my OCD seriously anymore, I practically don't have it. So maybe I'm insane for laughing at the horrible shit he raps about, but it's so much better than letting these types of thoughts eat me alive.

(p. s. this isn't health advice, go get ERP therapy if you have OCD)

[wonderful-rp-resources]

A Very out-of-context set of Sentence Starters from my Discord server.

Add names to blanks Change pronouns as necessary!

"Murder in marriage is normal and healthy."

"Oh haha, yeah lobotomize them."

"Metaphorically speaking, I cannot tell you if you serve cunt or not."

"The sins better be crawling up my back because if they do at the front they're going to have two massive obstacles"

"You're a really predictable person_ _ _ and it's really funny to me, I want to crush you under my arm <3"

"Clearly you've never had a premium rock roast and I'm so sorry for you."

"I dont know I haven't sniffed you."

"Cock and ball torture for anxiety and ocd hell yeah!"

"Bimbos are the larval form of milfs."

"I will slow down im just carbonated to meet you."

"They are homoerotic and homoirritating."

"The uggs do make my soul frown, I'll give credit to that."

"I dont have good or bad habits I just enter a state somewhere between a robot and a bad stand-up comedian and that's how the stuff happens."

"She went to evil hell college where you summon devils."

"I do nothing but put beasts in a situation that's why they call me the border collie."

"The lore exists. If I'm feeling particularly zesty and tased I'll drop two sentences."

"Hi _ _ _, I'm the devil on your shoulder and even I agree that you probably shouldn't pull up hot ass in a nice restaurant."

"Vagina so powerful it does what walruses do to clams."

"Yes, we established _ _ _ has the walrus mouth vagina."

"Never assume I can't be hornier."

"That is a man held together by crust and spite."

"I can't, I was assassinated so I wouldn't snitch about the squeaky toy noises."

"I WAS AGREEING THAT THEY LOOK LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS YOU SOGGY SALAMI."

"_ _ _ is more likely to take you on a date killing homeless people."

"I won but it was embarrassing."

"He's just hanging loose like a tit that's escaped its harness."

"_ _ _ trying very hard not to bring up his girlfriend (the Cambrian period.)"

"Lick my boots but we stay silly."

"I keep thinking he's a weird god ascended form of Jerry Seinfeld."

"I dont think that's a good idea _ _ _ would become a stick of incense in 5 seconds flat for sneezing microaggressively."

"She has disabled the flap in my esophagus i choke on a gulp of tea instantly."

"We have from the left: Thembo, Himbo, tiny himbo, bimbo, And bitch."

"Keep your mouth open so I can shove my fist inside."

"I wanna enjoy dinner, not watch someone get snapped in half like a KitKat bar."

"My standards for a good partner are non-existent, if I raised the bar remotely, Not only would he TRIP, but he'd fall backward and break a hip."

"Good luck it's behind six layers of 4chan."

"It is fine. the conversation needed to end anyway. please continue your vegetation exultation."

"I have normal amounts of radiation for a horse."

"What does a planet have to do with a music genre?"

"Fear not, I will not be kissing misogynists any time soon."

"Pain is weakness leaving the body."

"You were born at an incredibly old age."

"You seem like you would be an entry on the villains wiki."

"I don't bite strangers….that's an easy way to catch diseases, dumbass."

"...So his unhappiness is only half my fault."

"It's ok buddy, I've licked dirt too."

[itsaspectrumcomic]

Hello,

I really enjoy your comic. Both from aesthetic and informative point of viev. I have a question about begging stages of your crative process. How did you pick a suitalbe art style for a comic of that sort? I'm asking because I want to illustrate my struggles with OCD in similar form (I can never find any good representation of OCD in media and it's so often used as a comic relief I'm sick of it, so I thought if i want to see it I'd betterdraw it myself) However my usual art style is way too complicated for a comic like that and i don't know how to simlify it without copying anyone else's style.

I am aware asking you about art related advice might be too much, so you don't have to respond. But your comics are really good and i wanted to ask about it a person who does it well. And please tell me if me asking is inappropriate, I have trouble discerning what i am allowed to ask for and what is impolite.

I apologise if my message is unclear. My way of communicating tends to be chaotic and I'm afraid I'll be misunderstood so I tend to talk way too much. Also English is not my first language.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Don't worry, I'm very happy to talk about my art process!

I deliberately simplified my art style for It's a Spectrum since I wanted to be able to draw them quickly and get my ideas across clearly without worrying too much about the art being 'good enough'. My usual art style is closer to what I'm using for my graphic novel:

They have more realistic eyes! And body proportions! They actually have noses!

For It's a Spectrum I focused on simplfying the things I find more difficult or time consuming like eyes, clothes, shading, and backgrounds, and I avoid drawing more complicated poses or angles unless it's necessary to get my point across.

Dots for eyes, no background, just head and shoulders, didn't even draw hands for this one.

One way to learn to simplify your art is by trying to draw really quickly without losing the most important parts of the drawing. Have you seen those drawing challenges where you have 10 minutes to draw an object, then 5 minutes, then 1 minute, then 10 seconds? That's a really good way to practice because in the end you're forced to avoid adding any detail that isn't completely necessary.

Also, look at other comics with styles you like! There's nothing wrong with taking inspiration and mix and matching different aspects into your own work. At first your art might start off looking similar to others, but the more different people you're inspired by and the more you draw your own work, the more you'll develop your own style.

If you do make any illustrations about OCD, feel free to send them my way! I would love to see them :)