#why were they written that way
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the spin and elena problem (ïŒÂ°Đ°)
if you've read night speakers you know that spin and elena are implied to have crushes on each other, and if you didn't pick up on that, i IMPLORE you to go back and check!
if you cannot be bothered, here's a small summary of times one (mainly spin) has pined for the other (or someone else mentions it):
spin creates a whole fake scenario with him and elena being goofy on the plane together
spin mentions how the world is ending and the person he's thinking about is elena hickson
tima constantly teasing elena for having a vampire boyfriend
spin noting elena was pretty in night raiders (also him calling her a 'cute girl')
spin feeling regret for the first time when seeing how horrified elena was when he bit matt
spin going to see elena at the end of night walker and her being so overjoyed he was himself again
swing scene. the fact that elena thought that spin was totally crushing on her (he was literally just being attacked by the sun)
i thiiiink callie asks if spin is elena's boyfriend?
there's probably more, meowth would certainly remember most of them, but those are just a few times. we could definitely be reading into it too much, but we definitely aren't. when you piece together all of the evidence it's clear ali really wanted to try get across that spin and elena have some kind of... thing going on.
take how tima and jamie interact in night terrors, for example.
there's maybe 1 mention from jamie's uncle or grandpa about tima being his girlfriend, but other than that, it's all rather friendly. no crushing or nada! i think jamie does call tima pretty, but from the context given it was just an observation. no constant thinking about tima or anything... unlike someone (cough cough spin with elena couogh cough i swear every time he brings up the night speakers he brings up elena cough cough)
anyway, that leads me to what i call the spin and elena problem.
you see, at the beginning of night speakers, elena is said to be in year 8.
for my non-uk friends, that's about 11-12.
now, let me quote page 155 of night speakers, which describes spin for the first time.
"Elena felt her eyes stretch wide. She froze, staring up into the face of a young man."
WHAT
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUNG MAN
but then she sees him in better lighting and I GUESS it gets SLIGHTLY BETTER???
"In the better light she could see he wasn't much older than she was - maybe 15 or 16. He could be in Year 11 for all she knew."
okay, like, sure, better than a YOUNG MAN but... no. absolutely NOT.
the mental age gap between 11/12 and 15/16 is too much. sure, 3-5 years isn't bad when you're an ADULT but if there's this thing going on between someone who's NOT EVEN A TEENAGER and SOMEONE NEARING 18 it's just bloody weird don't you think???
night raiders is when the crush thing between elena and spin really picks up as well, and it's only been a few months since the first book. matt's in year 10 now, so that would mean elena's in year 9, but she's still only just turning 13. and then spin is turning either 16 or MY age. NO SANE 17 YEAR OLD WOULD CRUSH ON A 13 YEAR OLD LET ME TELL YOU NOW
sigh
so uhh...
meowth and i fixed it.
we never liked that whole situation with their ages. so we fixed it.
this goes for all of the night speakers actually, because why not!
the solution (^â.â^)
yeah we just aged them up and kept spin the same
it felt right to have matt be around the same age as spin, so he's like 16 and then tima's 12 and elena's 15 while spin is 16
it's a small change, but a big enough difference to make it all seem more normal
see i wouldn't age a kid up so it was okay to ship them with someone, know like i wouldn't age tima up all the way from 10 to 16 just to ship her with matt that's weird
but since elena and spin were like đ€đ€đ€THIS close to being socially acceptable we just headcanon them to be socially acceptable. because they sure do have chemistry. OH they have so much chemistry it HURTS because canon!spin IS AUHUEHUAHFU OLD
so uh... yeah.
all spelena content posted will be bp!spin (beepiss spin) who does NOT crush on 11/12 year old girls
if you don't agree with aging characters up, fair enough, i don't usually either. it was just this one time really, because in the books its never explicitly stated that they like each other but it was still noticeable enough to make it feel... weird.
no ones in this fandom anyway, so my word is basically gospel :,)
on that note, spelena content coming soon! oh, and matt angst. tima will get some love too!
#night speakers#ali sparkes#night raiders#night terrors#night forever#night walker#elena night speakers#spin night speakers#tima night speakers#matt night speakers#man#why were they written that way#really fuckin weird
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iâm just gonna say it i love how kaos handled orpheus and eurydice. i really did, im a huge greek mythology nerd and that story has always been about the refusal to give someone up even when you should, its not a love story its a story about grief. and i just- ah they did something really cool there didnât they? iâm gonna rewatch the season and like properly form my opinions but i really like it.
#i love a retelling#i love messing with mythology the way we were intended to#myths change over time to reflect the times#thatâs why we look at when they were written and by who#having a fun show like this does nothing to harm the original myths#and their various versions#because there are already various versions of every myth#it might even get more people into it!#that would be cool!#idk#iâm also pagan if that matters and i work with apollo#like#i believe theyâre real#at least in some way#and#iâm not offended?#idk itâs fine to mess with it#and if itâs not for you thatâs okay#kaos#kaos netflix#kaos 2024#riddy#orpheus#euridice#orpheus and euridyce#euridyce
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but Iâm jumping into the fray. I think thereâs a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so itâs sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I⊠Donât agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of her⊠ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didnât matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. Thatâs why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; itâs always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
Laiosâ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, youâre great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, Iâll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, sheâd follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, sheâd follow him to the ends of the world, and thatâs what she did.
She didnât care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesnât even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parentâs directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I donât think the motivation is people pleasing, rather itâs being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that itâs as simple as that, mind you, but letâs talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). Theyâre the ones sheâs devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didnât care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think thatâs the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we canât tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that sheâs in there, we just donât know at what degree), that we donât know her enough to be able to tell when sheâs at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is whatâs very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. Sheâs so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he canât read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that⊠Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesnât care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who sheâs speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they donât cross her mind then of course sheâd be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesnât make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isnât exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see sheâs ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me thereâs this aspect to her that she isnât as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and thereâs something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so sheâs friendly and hopefully thingsâll be smooth sailing. Itâs easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you donât care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesnât do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.
One situation thatâs interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what Iâm trying to get at, is Shuroâs proposal to her. Iâve seen people saying she hesitated because she didnât feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I canât say no, I donât want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but itâs actually canon in the Adventurerâs Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didnât feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but itâd have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense sheâd want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, thereâs even a bit on it on Laiosâ Adventurerâs Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, itâs an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brotherâs needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldnât she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah thatâs convenient for me, but where itâs everything to him and heartfelt Iâm able to be detached because I donât care about it that much⊠Can I do that? Iâm not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though itâs not what youâd expect, isnât it?
And central to my analysis, where Iâm going with this is, I feel like thatâs the thing with her character, that she doesnât feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didnât mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didnât seem to get why it was such a big deal, didnât seem to care about how theyâd experienced her choices.
So itâs a tendency⊠And itâs not that she doesnât care, itâs just that the way she measures whatâs good for the ones she loves isnât the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). Itâs an overt but quiet kind of care, itâs doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuroâs proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because sheâs thinking about reciprocity, about if itâd be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And thatâs a big part of her character isnât it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, sheâd been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurerâs Bible explanation was released midstory, so Iâm hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didnât react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesnât remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasnât finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what Iâm saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuroâs proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? Itâs rather layered, because canonically she wasnât aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and weâre not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isnât being mistreated (though doesnât ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough sheâs very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when sheâs worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chiefâs daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think sheâd notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when sheâs careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think itâs a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. Sheâs not sure wether to accept or reject Shuroâs proposal, doesnât want to lead him on? Sheâll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesnât feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think thatâs here too. She doesnât get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesnât change that she doesnât want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, itâs just that sheâs learned growing up that she doesnât have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. Sheâll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, sheâll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when heâs pushing her away (because he doesnât want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved themâ And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didnât notice the ostracization she suffered.
Sheâs always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didnât try hard to rectify the dogsâ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someoneâs presence isnât something you ask for, itâs something thatâs bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you canât ask them to stay or to come with.
Sheâs used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so sheâs learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didnât want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, itâs the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasnât that Iâd feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I donât regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but Iâm sorry that youâre so much more upset about it than me". Itâs the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
Itâs the autism itâs the aroace of it all, itâs the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, itâs the feeling like youâre somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. Iâm not joking btw it isnât uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm youâre uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you wonât feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about itâŠ"
So⊠Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I donât think she actually cares about people all that much. Iâd argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesnât mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well itâs pretty straightforward really, sheâs not all that social and doesnât see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but itâs not as much like⊠A conviction or goal. Sheâs too laser focused on a select few people. "Itâs not that theyâre bad people, they just arenât interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isnât her whole world or that she isnât the kindest soul out there then youâre saying she doesnât care at all or sheâs evil. And thatâs actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but itâs not in a way thatâs quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they donât have the same logic as her, donât show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if Iâm making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isnât uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, thereâs absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. Thereâs enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason Iâve chosen this angle is I feel itâs more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falinâs character arc as Iâll go over throughout the next sectionâŠ
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. AndâŠâŠ. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You canât tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when sheâs dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just⊠Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. Thatâs what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
Thereâs excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and⊠Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falinâs choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragonâs wasnât done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. Sheâs stripped of her agency consistently, and so⊠Itâs very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falinâs own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think Iâm going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laiosâ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, itâs something thatâs consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, itâs always been Laiosâ curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but⊠On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks itâd be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If thereâs someone you donât like, you can gobble âem up in one bite. If you could fly, youâd be able to leave this village right now." Itâs a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
But youâll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesnât want to leave knowing theyâll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laiosâ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isnât to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isnât to stay and see how well his friends will live, itâs to go. Itâs to leave. Itâs to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. Itâs again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didnât, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, itâs Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. Itâs a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying theyâll get themselves killed, that time is passing while theyâre away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what itâs like to have what sheâs never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if youâre a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when youâre a beast and you can just⊠Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because youâre at the bottom of the hierarchy, youâre now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
I think sheâs on autopilot. I think sheâs on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and itâs partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) Itâs familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And thatâs what is weaponized when sheâs a chimera, that instinct sheâs been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesnât matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesnât mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because sheâs trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So youâre probably seeing the duality Iâm talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often donât recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesnât care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. Sheâs undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, itâs text, in the response to Shuroâs proposal extra no less. And sheâs so laser focused on her most loved people that sheâs fine with being callous and risking othersâ lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her⊠Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too⊠In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way thatâs not palatable. But she doesnât care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasnât for a while now, and thatâs great.
Notes & nuance
Iâm struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. Itâs difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but thereâs this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "itâs ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldnât fit well in other places but are interesting for Falinâs character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, itâs just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I canât just pull it up whenever itâs relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurerâs Bible profile if you havenât already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didnât seem to mind others ostracizing her, itâs easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid sheâs bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader⊠Thereâs one istanxe of her caring actually, and itâs about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laiosâ said it and as I rambled Laiosâ words are her world, but actually itâs ambiguous. Itâs only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, thereâs no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other handâŠ
Her Adventurerâs Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falinâs struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesnât like being called cute over it, but thatâs not how she wants people to see her. She doesnât want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
Hereâs a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts donât seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe itâs more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didnât keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be âtroublesomeâ. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearances⊠A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurerâs Bible profile) itâs just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I donât think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for othersâ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but thatâs not personality wise itâs needs and wants wise. And I do feel like thatâs the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesnât know what she wants because everything sheâs done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesnât change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesnât ask things from people and doesnât hope for more, hope for better. I donât think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her itâs less âappearing stoic to fit in moreâ and more âyeah iâll just chill until Iâm needed or something activates my enthusiasmâ. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you canât be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivity⊠I want to speculate about Shuroâs proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we donât know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuroâs proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I donât think it was as simple as âshe wanted to say yes for convenienceâ. Logically itâs what would have been best, but itâs not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesnât think sheâll get proposed to again, itâs that self-effacing tendency that yes itâd be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isnât in it, because if itâs convenient then thatâs more important than her feelings on the matter. Man also⊠Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldnât get with Shuro, but imagine how Falinâs whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much sheâs master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but sheâs for sure there & influencing the dragonâs action to some degree. Having a dragonâs foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but thereâs Falin calling out to her brother Laios, thereâs the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly thereâs the Adventurerâs Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that itâs her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, itâs interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, sheâs described as Thistleâs guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so Iâll reign myself in and just mention it again. Sheâs still at the heel of someone, only now itâs someone who doesnât care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that itâs suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think thatâs part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isnât unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc weâve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "Iâll lay down my life for you" point? Iâm so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isnât it cool?" gestures of showing things to her⊠Itâs the only way she knows to ask, or maybe itâs the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time⊠I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. Iâd usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but thereâs a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important⊠Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didnât mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you havenât seen each other in a while or when theyâre alone, and yes thereâs potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin wonât be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way⊠I hope Iâm making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they donât know if thatâs allowed, if theyâre going about the social interaction the right way, if theyâre allowed to ask that out of someoneâŠ
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didnât see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falinâs actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldnât see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course sheâd see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcilleâs world, Laiosâ is at the center of Falinâs, and I tend to agree.
Itâs fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course thereâs how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but thereâs how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think thereâs an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I donât really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. âIf you die do it somewhere where I canât seeâ styleâ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I donât vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isnât needlessly against ghosts. And Falinâs sudden mace hits are fun to me too because itâs not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whateverâs needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
Iâm working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falinâs dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laiosâ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesnât care all that much, sheâs very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesnât really care because thatâd require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but itâs more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: sheâs canonically very genuinely kind, but itâs more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. Sheâs passive, and softspoken because thatâs just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the olâ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. Sheâs shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but thereâs also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. Thereâs a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falinâs case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
Sheâs sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and thatâs it donât hope for more donât ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how sheâs not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
Thatâs it, ty for reading. Even if itâs a bit of a mess, hopefully youâll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Hereâs my spotify playlist for her if youâd like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-loveâs important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we donât#get that many moments with her. So thereâs ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#Iâm doomed. Iâm getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. Itâs mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity youâre expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#heâs here too bc they are an unit#If youâre not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falinâs character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairyâs child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised sheâs hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios⊠Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#Iâd like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. Iâm not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if youâd prefer. It doesnât have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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thereâs such an attitude among ex-christian atheists that religions just spring up out of the void with no cultural context behind them. like ive heard people say shit like âthose (((zionists))) think they own a piece of land bc their book of fairy tales told them so!!!â and they refuse to understand that no, we donât belong there because of the torah, itâs in the torah because we belong there. because weâre from there. the torah (from a reform perspective) was written by ancient jews in and about the land that they were actively living on at the time. the torah contains instructions for agriculture because the people who lived in the land needed a way to teach their children how to care for it. it contains laws of jurisprudence because those are pretty important to have when youâre trying to run a society. same for the parts that talk about city planning. it contains our national origin story for the same reason that american schools teach kids about the boston tea party. itâs an extremely complex and fascinating text that is the furthest thing from just a âbook of fairy talesâ
#txt#jumblr#iâll never forget studying parashat noach one week#and i was discussing it at face value as if it was a real historical event just bc that was the most interesting way for me to approach it#and our clergy associate was like âokay but we know this is a fable right?â#that just. *chefs kiss* perfectly encapsulates reform judaism to me#this is also why i cant stand when ppl act like reform jews are somehow less religious#i LOVE torah. i love diving into the text and discussing it w people and exploring the historical context behind the words#and treating it as a document written by a human society rather than coming directly fully formed from hashem#adds such a FASCINATING dimension to analyzing the text#what were we thinking when we wrote this? what had recently been happening around us that might have inspired this passage?#what practical meaning did this particular commandment have for daily life in that time?#i love torah i love history i love anthropology and i love judaism#AND THE NATIONAL ORIGIN STORY AS A NARRATIVE FRAMING FOR ALL THE PRACTICAL LAWS!!!!!!! oooooohhhh i love it
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I've played the Fire Emblem Husbando Dating Simulator Games
#what is it about flawed media that makes fanart so compelling#awakening was a much stronger game than fates but i wanted to draw Corrin more than Robin#sometimes... things that are better written... are harder to draw funny doodles for rip#carrying over my posts from twitter choo chooooo#this one was posted to twitter so long ago im so sorry#anyway favorite protag: Shez#she's so stupid and explicitly so#If I were to rank the games... hm....#Houses for character writing but Engage for gameplay#Fates for map design#Awakening has the strongest core story I think#and Hopes has Shez#so there are no clear winners#i know there's going to be ppl asking where the other femc's are#answer: i cannot play as Kris in the west so i dont know her she's a stranger#secret confession i have no idea why anyone would use the friendship seals in fates i dont get them#also i still think Alear asking OG Army Breeder Sigurd how he feels about eugenics is funny thank u#fe3h#fe awakening#fe fates#few3h#byleth#corrin#shez#alear#there is no way robin has her own tag
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what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
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Okay but I do get really tired when people rag on Narnia's Biblical parallels for being too overt. Like, yeah dude. It's written for kids. Most kids don't do subtlety. I knew my Bible better than probably 95% of third graders, and yet my parents still had to clue me in. I've talked to people who grew up secular and didn't realize Narnia was Christian until well into adulthood. The Christian parallels in Narnia are at a pretty perfect level for most kids, and the fact that we as adults continue to get new spiritual meaning from it as we grow is a real testament to the depth of Jack's writing.
#mostly i just get sick of narnia being compared unfavourably to lotr#they are written for two different audiences with different purposes and different ingredients and they are both good!#like yeah okay tolkien disliked allegory. (a) narnia isn't exactly allegory and (b) even if it were would that be so bad?#Jack's over here doing his own thing. i for one love how overt Narnia's Biblical parallels are#okay rant over#why did i ever think it was a good idea to talk narnia on the internet. i am way too defensive and possessive of it#pontifications and creations#narnia
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Knitting a freehand bag and started wondering how often people even use patterns, anyway. So--how often do you use a pattern when you make things ? This include knitting/crochet/sewing/weaving/nalbinding/bobbin lace/tatting/etc but also things like woodworking, cooking, and baking. If you want to just pick the thing you do most often that's fine.
I personally do not use patterns as I find them far more confusing than just figuring out the construction of an item and simply making it. I do very occasionally browse ravelry for inspiration but have downloaded maybe 2. In the 5 or so years since I joined. And have followed exactly 1, which I modified every single aspect of. In my defense, dyslexia.
#poll#knitting#crochet#weaving#tatting#sewing#quilting#nalbinding#bobbin lace#cooking#baking#theres just SO MANY patterns out there and i kind of dont understand why... who is using them ???#they are so hard to follow even when written well#i get that thats dyslexia talking and not true for most people but it still baffles me#i also dont follow cooking/baking recipes but in a different way#the issue for crafting patterns is that i cant read and so i cant figure out what the hell im supposed to do#but recipes are usually lists and dont have tons of abbreviations and dozens of steps#so i can kind of read recipes but i just like doing my own thing and also have been burned by recipes before#so even if i try following the recipe as hard as possible i will inevitably change some things#like what about the whimsy. also i will use a butter wash after taking this out of the oven i dont care that it says eggs#and while i dont do legos anymore i was the same with that too. we got a kit once and my sister loved following each step#oh my god. the worst. i would covertly make other things with the remaining pieces while she assembled the thing#i do think that were i not dyslexic i would still not follow patterns#like i said i just prefer to do my own thing most of the time
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I love how people are only ever interested in defending Arya's right to be weird-looking. It's never defending her intelligence from people who claim she's incapable of thinking for herself, highlighting her importance to the plot and refusing to see her as just a prop, acknowledging how much of her story gets stolen and given to other characters, talking about her trauma or how often it gets erased and overlooked, seeing her as more than just an attack dog/bodyguard, etc. Nope. It's just a "why can't people let Arya be ugly/unconventional looking? :(" post every other week because people are, for whatever reason, obsessed with how Arya is visually perceived. One of the most misinterpreted characters yet the issue is only ever with her being portrayed as "too pretty" or the wrong "type" of pretty. This fandom will entirely rewrite a character's motivations, values, and role in the story to the point that they consider references to canon "hate" but! The true injustice to canon is we acknowledge that she is described as pretty several times. Arya simply existing as her pretty, important, and non-conforming self is too complex and confusing for people to comprehend đ.
#arya stark#asoiaf#fandom nonsense#how can Arya be considered pretty?! she's literally non-conforming?? being pretty belongs to /feminine/ female characters...right? đ±#I feel like these people tell on themselves with how much they value beauty because they make it /such/ a big deal#when her self-esteem issues regarding being a lady are infinitely more relevant to her story (and more interesting to discuss)#her being mocked for having the Stark look is a supporting story element that also reinforces her being an outcast considering#her mother + all of her trueborn siblings have a southern look and she was raised with southern standards#not to mention her non-conformity and often messy appearance heavily impacted how her looks were perceived#George writes Arya's non-conformity as parallel to traditional femininity so it makes sense that beauty is one of those aspects he subverts#(also why it makes sense that her future includes accepting her identity as a Lady while redefining the role but that's off topic)#this is why you need to look at the writing instead of judging based on the /type/ of character you think Arya is#and! it's truly not that serious đ I'm sure it will be a plot point eventually but it's not 98% of her story like these people pretend#Arya is such an interesting + well-written character but we constantly get people rewriting her and nonsense discourse around her looks#such rich material and all you can say is that she's an /odd-looking feral gremlin/ and I'm supposed to take your opinion seriously#at this point the obsession with Arya being /weird/ looking has to be some projection of personal self-esteem issues#there's no way /this/ is the hill you're willing to die on with all the terrible takes about Arya from this fandom#wish people who didn't care about her would just stop bringing her up so we could have our discussions about her in peace
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everyday i look at the hoyoverse fandom and go âwow⊠media literacy IS deadđâ
#nobu.nobu.chat#firefly isnt a waifubait simply bc the trailblazer showed up in her trailer for a second#she quite literally says one day i wish to live as firefly#she wants to be her own person she wants to be FIREFLY not SAM not GLAMOTHS IRON CAVALRY not STELLARON HUNTER#she wants to be FIREFLY and the first person to truly see her as that is us aka the trailblazer#the trailblazer is literally us a self insert it doesnt matter if its stelle or caelus its us the player#so its us who saw firefly as firefly and not as anyone else#topaz was looking at jade real funny#yeah wanna know why? bc shes being manipulated#why did u think numby hid behind topaz? bc pets can sense bad ppl#ppl are so quick to hate a character without seeing them first#jeez i wonder why⊠lets certainly hope it isnt bc jade is a villain and a well written one at that#and thats the main reason for villains to existđ#villains are there to be hated to be questioned to be against#especially when they are written well AKA jade in this case#not every villain/antagonist is supposed to have a sad sob backstory or to be relatable or to be simpable#theres a reason why we hated characters like gaston the evil stepmother when growing up#its bc they were written as a villain so well#and u can hate/dislike a character while enjoying the way the writers worked for it to be perceived such way
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hello sel!!! hru doing??
The ask game is super fun! How about Gojo + vindictive.
I hope u hv had a lovely day đ«¶
zuro anon
zuro anon hello!! thanks for sending in a prompt!! i'm doing good đ„ș spending this lil vacay at home, mostly đ„ș and happy to be back writing đ„ș i hope you have the loveliest weekend đ
contains: non-canon, childhood enemies to lovers (ish), (modern) arranged marriage, reader wears a braid and dresses
gojo + vindictive
you hate gojo satoru. you have ever since you were 5.
he's a bullyïżœïżœïżœa real cocky one at that, with no regard or remorse for how his actions affect those around him.
on the day before your 6th birthday, right as your parents gathered together for the annual countdown, he gobbled up the entire plate of your favorite milk cakes before you could even take a bite. this marked the start, the beginning of a vengeance stewing inside of you.
at the age of 8, when you first learned how to do your own braids, he would tug at them, pull them free and unravel all your hard work for the past hour. you used to chase him for it, yell "satoru!" with all the strength your little lungs could muster and he would merely laugh and run faster.
the name "satoru," you've learned, must be synonymous with "sabotage," because it's all he's ever done. he threw the flower geto suguru handpicked for you straight to the ground, and purposely splashed gutter water all over the white dress you intended to wear on your first date.
not to mention, he's always rubbed in the fact that he's better than you, at everythingâdangled all his accomplishments in front of you as if he knew they were just centimeters out of reach.
gojo satoru is solely responsible for tainting your childhood memories a miserable cerulean blue.
so, when your parents sit you down one day and tell you that you'll have to marry him, you feel transported in that moment, to each and every instance gojo has ever wronged you. it flips through your mind like a montage of flashbacks in a movie.
it's both surprising and not. your families have always been partners, in everythingâbusiness, education, and now you guess, life as well. you hate gojo's guts but this creates an opportunity you don't think can result from anything else.
so, sure, you'll agree to the marriageâonly to make his life a living hell.
"hello, fiancée," he greets you, for the first time since the agreement.
you don't do anything to hide your disgust, face scrunching up as you spit out, "shut up, satoru."
the wedding planning is horrendousâat least, you hope it is for him. you pick out every single cake flavor you know he hates and choose the brightest venue possible for the event. the lights you pick for the afterparty are strobe lights, and you make sure to do multiple test runs just to play with his eyes. it doesn't occur to you that the solution to his light sensitivity is simple: just a plain pair of shades.
you wear plumping lip gloss on your wedding day, just so his lips burn when you have to kiss him. but gojo is either extremely numb or just good at faking it, because all he does is grin as he whispers quietly before parting, "spicy."
in preparation for your married life, you create a ledger of some sortâa book of accounts housing every single thing gojo has done wrong. you write down your plans to get him back for each of them, a list of pranks and inconveniences to make him regret ever messing with you all those years ago.
at half a year of marriage and 25 years of knowing each other, he casually tells you the big "i love you," but you're sure he doesn't mean it. you tell yourself your heart is racing from how infuriating his existence is; at how stupid his face looked when he'd said it. not anything else and most especially not the little dimple on his cheek that shows itself every now and then.
(you didn't know it yet then, but he'd found the ledger you kept and read through it all. the one-year plan, the three-year plan, the five, and so on. and it does nothing but strengthen how he feels about you, since he was 6, 14, and a few years ago at 24.
it's at your third year of marriage that you find outâhow gojo's known all this time, but more importantly, how there were reasons behind every single instance you thought he was out to ruin your life.
with intelligence far beyond his age, gojo has always preferred the company of adults more than children. at age 6, he would listen in on conversations his mother had with her friends, roughly comprehending complex worlds with the simple ones he understood. someone had mentioned something about their daughter being allergic to milk. and so, when your birthday came up and all he saw were milk treats, he gobbled them all up in an effort to make sure you wouldn't be subjected to an adverse reactionâeven though you were far off from any dairy allergy.
what he was sure of, however, was that you were severely allergic to bees. and when he spotted one perched right on the buttercup stem geto handed you, he had no choice but to smack it right out of your hand and down to the ground, stepping on it too, for good measure.
and, okay, maybe he was a little naughty for tugging at your braids when you'd just spent all that time doing them, but he always liked how they flowed into waves when they unravelled; how you'd chase him afterwards, angry but so, so pretty.
if there's one moment gojo will consider real sabotage, though, it's that date he stopped you from going to. like there was any way he was going to let another man see you dressed like that. he isn't nice that way. when gojo wants something, he's not sharing, and the sight of you in whiteâthat was meant to be his and only his.)
#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#shotorus.workbook#this was interesting!!! bc i dont necessarily see gojo to be vindictive (hella petty yes HABSFh but not vindictive)#so trying to somehow incorporate the prompt really stretched out my braincells#thank you for this zuro anon!!#i hope you like it!!#additional context stuff!! they both come from affluent families and gojo is a little insane when it comes to love#not normal at all LOL he gets off from reader's hatred hsbfhsgdfv#reader learns to love him eventually. its rlly just a matter of seeing everything differently and understanding the whole situation#why he did things the way he did etc etc#not written but gojo hasbeen a kind of constant in reader's life and has been there at their lowest too !!!#and he really does go out of his way to make things work for reader too just not in ways obvious to reader !#for one of their classes in uni gojo got a really high grade compared to everyone else so chances of a curve were slim#reader's grade wasn't really that high and they were really sad about it#so gojo did a bunch of extra work for the professor so that he would agree to curve everyone's grades higher LOL#things like that ! he also trashed the front yard of the first boy that broke reader's heart đđđđ#nonie.zuro#ask#rep#ask game answered
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I have a lot of complicated feelings when it comes to what Neflix has done with the Witcher, but my probably least favourite is the line of argumentation that originated during shitstorms related to the first and second season that I was unlucky to witness.
It boils down to "Netflix's reinterpretation and vision is valid, because the Witcher books are not written to be slavic. The overwhelming Slavic aestetic is CDPR's interpretation, and the setting in the original books is universally European, as there are references to Arthurian mythos and celtic languages" And I'm not sure where this argument originated and whether it's parroting Sapkowski's own words or a common stance of people who haven't considered the underlying themes of the books series. Because while it's true that there are a lot of western european influences in the Witcher, it's still Central/Eastern European to the bone, and at its core, the lack of understanding of this topic is what makes the Netflix series inauthentic in my eyes.
The slavicness of the Witcher goes deeper than the aestetics, mannerisms, vodka and sour cucumbers. Deeper than Zoltan wrapping his sword with leopard pelt, like he was a hussar. Deeper than the Redanian queen Hedvig and her white eagle on the red field.
What Witcher is actually about? It's a story about destiny, sure. It's a sword-and-sorcery style, antiheroic deconstruction of a fairy tale, too, and it's a weird mix of many culture's influences.
But it's also a story about mundane evil and mundane good. If You think about most dark, gritty problems the world of Witcher faces, it's xenophobia and discrimination, insularism and superstition. Deep-seated fear of the unknown, the powerlessness of common people in the face of danger, war, poverty and hunger. It's what makes people spit over their left shoulder when they see a witcher, it's what makes them distrust their neighbor, clinging to anything they deem safe and known. It's their misfortune and pent-up anger that make them seek scapegoats and be mindlessly, mundanely cruel to the ones weaker than themselves.
There are of course evil wizards, complicated conspiracies and crowned heads, yes. But much of the destruction and depravity is rooted in everyday mundane cycle of violence and misery. The worst monsters in the series are not those killed with a silver sword, but with steel. it's hard to explain but it's the same sort of motiveless, mundane evil that still persist in our poorer regions, born out of generations-long poverty and misery. The behaviour of peasants in Witcher, and the distrust towards authority including kings and monarchs didn't come from nowhere.
On the other hand, among those same, desperately poor people, there is always someone who will share their meal with a traveller, who will risk their safety pulling a wounded stranger off the road into safety. Inconditional kindness among inconditional hate. Most of Geralt's friends try to be decent people in the horrible world. This sort of contrasting mentalities in the recently war-ridden world is intimately familiar to Eastern and Cetral Europe.
But it doesn't end here. Nilfgaard is also a uniquely Central/Eastern European threat. It's a combination of the Third Reich in its aestetics and its sense of superiority and the Stalinist USSR with its personality cult, vast territory and huge army, and as such it's instantly recognisable by anybody whose country was unlucky enough to be caught in-between those two forces. Nilfgaard implements total war and looks upon the northerners with contempt, conscripts the conquered people forcibly, denying them the right of their own identity. It may seem familiar and relevant to many opressed people, but it's in its essence the processing of the trauma of the WW2 and subsequent occupation.
My favourite case are the nonhumans, because their treatment is in a sense a reminder of our worst traits and the worst sins in our history - the regional antisemitism and/or xenophobia, violence, local pogroms. But at the very same time, the dilemma of Scoia'Tael, their impossible choice between maintaining their identity, a small semblance of freedom and their survival, them hiding in the forests, even the fact that they are generally deemed bandits, it all touches the very traumatic parts of specifically Polish history, such as January Uprising, Warsaw Uprising, Ghetto Uprising, the underground resistance in WW2 and the subsequent complicated problem of the Cursed Soldiers all at once. They are the 'other' to the general population, but their underlying struggle is also intimately known to us.
The slavic monsters are an aestetic choice, yes, but I think they are also a reflection of our local, private sins. These are our own, insular boogeymen, fears made flesh. They reproduce due to horrors of the war or they are an unprovoked misfortune that descends from nowhere and whose appearance amplifies the local injustices.
I'm not talking about many, many tiny references that exist in the books, these are just the most blatant examples that come to mind. Anyway, the thing is, whether Sapkowski has intended it or not, Witcher is slavic and it's Polish because it contains social commentary. Many aspects of its worldbuilding reflect our traumas and our national sins. It's not exclusively Polish in its influences and philosophical motifs of course, but it's obvious it doesn't exist in a vacuum.
And it seems to me that the inherently Eastern European aspects of Witcher are what was immediately rewritten in the series. It seems to me that the subtler underlying conflicts were reshaped to be centered around servitude, class and gender disparity, and Nilfgaard is more of a fanatic terrorist state than an imposing, totalitarian empire. A lot of complexity seems to be abandoned in lieu of usual high-fantasy wordbuilding. It's especially weird to me because it was completely unnecessary. The Witcher books didn't need to be adjusted to speak about relevant problems - they already did it! The problem of acceptance and discrimination is a very prevalent theme throughout the story! They are many strong female characters too, and they are well written. Honestly I don't know if I should find it insulting towards their viewers that they thought it won't be understood as it was and has to be somehow reshaped to fit the american perpective, because the current problems are very much discussed in there and Sapkowski is not subtle in showing that genocide and discrimination is evil. Heck, anyone who has read the ending knows how tragic it makes the whole story.
It also seems quite disrespectful, because they've basically taken a well-established piece of our domestic literature and popular culture and decided that the social commentary in it is not relevant. It is as if all it referenced was just not important enough and they decided to use it as an opportunity to talk about the problems they consider important. And don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing anyone to write about Central European problems and traumas, I'm just confused that they've taken the piece of art already containing such a perspective on the popular and relevant problem and they just... disregarded it, because it wasn't their exact perspective on said problem.
And I think this homogenisation, maybe even from a certain point of view you could say it's worldview sanitisation is a problem, because it's really ironic, isn't it? To talk about inclusivity in a story which among other problems is about being different, and in the same time to get rid of motifs, themes and references because they are foreign? Because if something presents a different perspective it suddenly is less desirable?
There was a lot of talking about the showrunners travelling to Poland to understand the Witcher's slavic spirit and how to convey it. I don't think they really meant it beyond the most superficial, paper-thin facade.
#The witcher#Sorry if its convoluted I just got reminded of something and it made me a little angry#and as I had this conversation a lot of times I've decided to put it into written text#sorry about being bitter#but these are some of my favourite books and I'm still upset when I get reminded how badly they were treated in the recent adaptation#I'm not saying you should never change anything#But it's good to have enough background to understand why some things are the way they are in the original#and to understand what the source material is about#we don't talk about particular character's looks or something (altough I feel they could care more about it too)#but central themes tropes and motifs#long post#it may seem like I'm talking from a high horse here#people are welcome to interpret literature however they want#Nobody has a monopol on themes#I just think that in this particular case the cultural context influences the worldbuilding#and if changed it doesn't have the same impact anymore#meta
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watching tua s4 knowing fully how its going to disappoint me rn and something that keeps bothering me is just how awful it is that they dont show what happens during the 6 year time skip.
like in season 2 we get to see an abridged version of how everyone got to where they are. this allowed for me as viewer to at least undertsand the reasoning behind the siblings' actions and conflicts. but in season 4 there is just none of that.
instead we only get to see the after of the timeskip. Whatever bits we do hear abt the time in between are extremly limited because they are things that are told to us from biased/flawed/one-sided perspectives. I as a viewer do not get a clear idea of why any of the 8 charcters of the main cast change the way they do becuase i am never shown how this change ocurred. its more i am told things and have to accept because of the 6 year gap.
lila and diego's strained marriage is actually i think the only they showed without telling to an extent. but it still would have also been nice to see thier struggles transitioning to suburbia and would also aid me to better understand why neither of them tried to find an adequate balance in the 6 years. also like why is diego working as a delivery driver? in my mind it makes more sense for him to be a mediocre private investgator or something like that? idk just some more context behind the tension and thier decsions (especially lila dear god dont even get me started) would have been wonderful
viktor's journey to Canada and his distancing from the others sounded interesting and i would have loved to see that on screen. he clearly is unable to form long lasting intamate relationships and showing his life in the time gap would have been a great way to show his journey of accepting the loss of sissy.
allison was definitely hit hard by the lack of explanation. i understand the scheduling issues with raymond's actor but it truly was a heavy blow to season 3 allison actions when they just said he left with no other explanation. most of her conflicts in season 3 were motivated by the loss of claire and raymond and you are telling me she just lost 50% of that a year afterwards? and like this doesnt get mentioned until episode 3??
i actually enjoyed klaus's shift to a risk averse person and it did make sense to me after losing his immortality to become more aware of not only his but his loved ones mortality. the biggest glaring issue is the one everyone has talked about: the lack of dave. i think if they had shown klaus trying to find info on dave and/or even visiting his grave in the timeskip it would been fine with me that he wouldn't mention dave that much. but the dog tags being on screen and him not saying anything is actually inasne??? also it sounds like there was definitely more to his sobriety than what they have told sad that we didnt get to see that storyline....
everyone has said thier piece on how luther just mentioning sloane and then no other explanation is actually awful. like a simple flashback fo luther searching and finding sloane living a different life would have been better than them giving us nothingđ
ben i actually have nothing to say...it would have been silly to see the crypto scam ig. also an explanation of why they even showed the other ben the post credit of the s3 finale i think is warranted. like even a mention of yeah there is probably another ben who belongs to this universe walking around would have been okay ig
five oh where to even begin.... first of all how tf does a person who isnt even in thier 20s even get a gig at the cia. i know they said some bullahit abt five being a part of a relative young group/recruit (cant remember the exact wording) but like a person who is younger than 19 getting a job at the cia is a bit much. also i actually refuse to belive that five wouldn't have figured out his boss was part of the keepers there is just no way. after the handler and reggie i refuse to belive that five would lose his suspicion towards authority figures. i think the only authority figure he has ever listened to was the founder version of himself and even that took time. like if you want me to believe that bs then show me how five turned his brain into mush in the 6 year time skip. either that or show how me his loneliness in those six year because from what i have right now five worked at the cia and that is it nothing else. like from what i have been told by the show nothing else happended to him besides working. which if thier implication is that he was only working and drifted apart from his siblings that message was not clear enough to me as viewer and would have been alot clearer if i was shown such as thing.
#written before i watch the finale but i read evedy spoiler bc after i heard abt fivelila i had to know what other bs they were pulling#like i think the charcter assassination was party due to this lack of explanation of why these charcters are so different than when we left#tua s4#tua#the umbrella academy#tua s4 spoilers#i think that at least luther allison and klaus ooc actions an dialog could have been fixed by this#the love triangle however....personally i belive the best solution is to actually just not do that#but this is a close second#the way there is no satisying ending for that is insane like if u r going shoehorn in this awful romance that no one asked for#the least you could do is man up and own that shit and pick a canon ending for that shit#but i digress
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Original images and max by himself below cut
#knife's art#digital art#sam and max#the cursive e in this poster actually pissed me off so bad. idk the way I was taught cursive in school#we were told that there were NO CAPITALS IN CURSIVE just larger lowercase letters#and that all the letters connect. which between the e and c in 'become'. did not. so thats a pet peeve#and also that if you saw a capital in cursive it was informal and incorrect. so this poster gave me one million points of psychic damage#WHY IS THE E WRITTEN LIKE THAAAATTTT#just noticed i misspelled bureau. whatever
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Hi! I just wanted to know if you'd ever heard of a really fun forcefem game called Crossdressing in Camelot? It's a really well-made one that definitely put some work into cracking my own egg. You play as a "man" who discovers that they have a talent for magic, but oops! the best way to grow stronger magically is to be more feminine! It has some really well-written characters, some fun dialogue and plot, and is free on itch.io!
Never heard of it before and gave it a shot!
Itâs quite fun! Though sadly moved a bit too slowly for me personally, I can definitely see the appeal!
It was fun to give it a shot! Please tell me if anyone has more forcefem recommendations!
#and I think itâs worthwhile to analyse why the game didnât enthrall me like Iâd hoped#I think I had 2 issues:#one is my game dev game keeps noticing all the room for improvement in the base game#but also the forcefem wasnât really forceful enough for me#I never felt desperate?#like my only way out was to be this girl#it more so felt like a lot of stuff happened to me#and I didnât even have the agency to try and respond in other ways#some beats were really really fun!#loved the bit about removing the lizard manâs loincloth#but the overall gameplay doesnât really put me in the mind set that Iâm being forcefully feminised#it just so happens that the best way to play the game is to be really fem#which is good on its own merits!#but it feels a little inconsistent since it still has some really nice forcefem beats in there#still itâs a well written game!#once 1.0 comes out Iâll definitely give it another shot!#but for now its not fully grabbing me#not as a ForceFem game#or an egg fantasy#still thanks a lot for the recommendation!#and if anyone else has any more recommendations Iâd love to hear them!#.#i-like-talking#asks open!#i like game dev#..#this counts as research!#and I love research!
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i think that the way the great gatsby musical is portrayed is somewhat through the lens of how gatsby saw the story.
#he saw his life as revolving around daisy and his love for her#i feel like that could be why some of the things were written the way they were#also itâs difficult to have someone like nick narrate the story when itâs a musical and includes events he wasnât present for#but it is also something important for people to realize that nick was never really the main character of the story#he was telling gatsbys story and what ended up happening in that one summer#the great gatsby musical#jay gatsby#daisy buchanan#nick carraway#jeremy jordan#eva noblezada
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