#why is it so painful to watch this
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Being suddenly immersed in trigun after years of procrastinating it is so funny bcuz seeing the comparisons btw 90's Vash and the current one is so weird to me.It can literally range from absolutely destroying the current Vash in a very violent way to literally calling him "babygirl" "yassified Vash" "Vash with both autism and ADHD"
#trigun#trigun stampede#vash#vash the stampede#watching trigun stampede is a whirlwind of emotions#bro I can't handle this show anymore#why is it so painful to watch this#he is still my babygirl tho 😔#babygirl Vash#yassified Vash#the bitches who procrastinated on trigun for 5 years where you at?#let's fucking go#babygirl
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He has to find her. He is gonna find her.
And this time it was not for duty or for the kingdom.
#my art#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#zelda#loz zelda#link#princess zelda#zelink#the legend of zelda totk#zelink totk#he lost her again but he is gonna find her#he loves her so much and that’s why he is in so much pain#totk thoughts#totk fanart#totk spoilers#zelda totk#loz totk#at the sky temple of time#after watching the astral proyection of Zelda#totk link#totk zelink#totk#botw totk#zelink tearsofthekingdom#link tloz#link fanart#zelinktotk
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There's a choice that you have to make on your own (part 1)
Plot? In my goofy comedy au comic? It's more likely than you think
First - Previous - Next - Masterpost
#undertale bluebird#martlet#undertale yellow#martlet undertale yellow#martlet uty#undertale au#frisk dreemurr#eh i wont tag toriel for this one she barely shows up for a frame#anyways yeah captions go watch attica kish's undertale lyric videos they are very good 👍#i suddenly remember why i chose to colour this au's comics in the scribble style#THIS WAS SO PAINFUL TO COLOUR 😭😭😭
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Appreciate the little things.
Not to ignorantly deny all of the big bad things in the world, but to survive them.
#magpie ramblings#there's so much shit going on that it gets overwhelming#and it's sad that we've made ourselves feel guilty for looking away when it's too painful to watch#but we literally CAN'T survive if we keep dwelling on the unfairness of the world#and the more you ask why can't this happen or why is that happening#the quicker it is to just ask 'why do anything at all?' ... the answer is simple#'just because'#so fuck it#i'm going to appreciate a short video of someone drawing a cat; just because#i'm going to read a book about a long lost culture and history; just because#i'm going to post personal book reviews of books hardly anyone has heard of; just because#i'm going to be thankful that my indoor plants have been doing well; just because#i'm going to let someone make a decision i don't agree with and not confront them; just because#i'm going to spend the little of my own money helping maybe just one other person in the world; just because#i'm going to be kind to those who haven't treated me kindly; just because#i'm going to smile regardless of the unjust in this world; just because
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As much as I love TimKon, I prefer TimBern and it's mainly because of this:
“Bernard says I sacrifice myself like it's a bad thing.”
“But it's all I've ever known.”
“All that my family has ever been taught.”
Tim, out of all of the BatFamily members is the one that never really had a choice.
Bruce had a choice to become Batman. He almost retired, until things went badly again and he realized how much more awful Gotham would be if he did.
Dick had a choice to become Robin. When Bruce fired him he could've finished college and lived a normal life, but he chose to continue on as Nightwing.
Jason had a choice to become Robin. And while his mind had been messed with after being dunked in the Lazarus Pit, he had a choice to become Red Hood, too.
Damian had a choice to become Robin. He fought hard for the role, and seems to genuinely enjoy doing it.
Tim didn't have a choice to become Robin. Yes, no one actually forced him into the role, but he saw what had happened to Bruce after Jason's death (such as how he became more violent), and knew that Bruce needed a Robin to keep himself sane. He tried going to Dick, but Dick said the best he could do was help as Nightwing as he wasn't willing to be Robin again. So Tim felt like he had to take up the role, because Batman, his greatest hero, would lose it if he didn't.
Tim also didn't have a choice to give up being a vigilante, unlike the others. When he got replaced as Robin, Bruce was trapped in time and everyone but him thought he was dead. He didn't have Dick's experience of going out soul searching and deciding that being a hero was what he wanted in life, he had to almost immediately take up a new secret identity and start going on missions so he could find out what happened to Bruce.
I love TimBern so much, because Bernard is Tim's connection to civilian life. If you're a hero dating a hero, even when you're being civilians and doing civilian things, there's always going to be the knowledge of who you both are really, and the missions you've been on together (Such as Tim looking at Kon and remembering things like when he tried to clone him because he was ‘dead’). I feel like with Bernard, Tim can be a full on civilian and forget about the hero life for a while, and that makes it special.
Also I just think Bernard is neat :3
#nighttexts#The fact that some people hate on Bernard just because they wanted TimKon to be together makes me sad :[#HE'S JUST A LITTLE GUY#HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG#Plus he's so interesting#He and Tim literally watched one of their best friends get shot in front of them while being held hostage#And then Bernard had to sit there and hold her body as she bled just hoping they'd get her to safety in time#But they didn't#And that event shaped so much of his life#Such as being one of the reasons why he joined an ACTUAL PAIN CULT#(Which his parents didn't even notice when he started coming home with bruises welts etc btw)#And almost let said cult kill him#My man had so much survivors guilt over Darla#But some people still say he's a shallow character and hate on him just because of TimKon 😭👍#Anywho#timbern#dc tim drake#tim drake#tim drake robin#red robin#robin tim drake#tim drake x bernard dowd#bernard dowd#dc
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expression practice i made for sans!
#was this just an excuse to watch him. yes.#graphart#sans#utdr#undertale#i kept putting him on a sweater then on a shirt then on a sweater. idc. im also not cleaning these up. im done with them.#i love you sans but im done. surely you understand lazybones#the fear expression is so important to me. its the “it's all going to be reset” moment. i dunno why that stuck with me#I REALLY LIKE HIS SAD EXPRESSION. CAUSE. YOU KNOW. PAIN
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Can I ask what was your first impression of TGCF and if it turned out wrong or right?
My first impression of TGCF was "this goof continuously ascends to -- and gets kicked out of -- heaven, this is going to be clown town isn't it?"
And honestly I stand by that one, I think I was completely correct**
(**barring the fact that this goof will then go on to experience ever conceivable horror known to man but honestly I mostly expected it after MDZS)
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#hua cheng#hualian#honestly i was pretty spot on with my tonal assumptions for TGCF which is why i didn't include it in the previous post#after getting my shit rocked by MDZS i was feeling a bit more accustomed to mxtx's tendency to mix humour and tragedy#so i expected things to Go Bad sooner or later#that being said i was WILDLY unprepared for book 6 the post-banishment arc nearly k i l l e d me#straight up took me 4 calendar months to read bk6 because i'd read about 3 pages and then need to crawl away and cry for a bit#it intrigues me how with both MDZS and TGCF the backstory stuff is AGONIZING#and there can be some reckoning with that in the present#but as a general rule the present day plot is were the comedy and whimsy and romance lives & the backstory is where PAIN AND SUFFERING live#i'm not sure why i was so startled by SVSSS's vibe since it's fairly similar to the other two#the stuff i saw on my dash led me to think it was mostly humour/fluff though and i was admittedly VERY biased against isekai#very very pleasantly surprised by SVSSS i'm enjoying it alot#i'm amused and humbled by the new followers i've recently collected#i assume it's mostly svsss's fans that know A Storm Is Coming and are sitting back with popcorn to watch me suffer in real time - if so#cheers#my art
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Day 4: Aristaeus
Interpretation notes and trivia below the cut!!
All rise for the entrance of my president !! Honestly, of all the figures and characters that were up for debate when I first started thinking about this story and who I wanted leading the charge Aristaeus was not one of them. Originally, I'd always known that Asclepius and Orpheus would be worked in somehow - they've always been favourites of mine in terms of children of Apollo (even if Orpheus as the child of Apollo and Calliope is less popular classically) and I expected my pick for the third child of Apollo to be involved to be similarly mortal like Iamus or Tenes but the more I looked into Aristaeus the more I fell in love with him! Ultimately, he's meant to be both a foil and a reflection of his father - a boy who grows up thinking his father's footsteps would always be warm only to realise that following in them would lead to death and destruction. While his status as a rustic and hunting god is still important here, Aristaeus' interpretation is much more focused on his connection to the Etesian wind and his quelling of the dog star Sirius which is why his hair in particular is so long and spiralling. All in all, more than any other figure I've chosen to interpret and represent in my work Aristaeus is the god I hope more people get interested in and research! I think there are a lot of important stories in his various myths and travels and I definitely want more people to discover and fall in love with them as I have!
Some fun trivia:
Apollo's firstborn son. Because he was born mortal on account of his very mortal mother, Apollo immediately took him to Olympus to eat ambrosia to begin his transition into divinity. Apollo would continue to feed Aristaeus small amounts of ambrosia and nectar for the next ten years until the child fully shed his mortal skin and was reborn as a god.
Due to the nature of making mortals deathless (namely the fun part of the process where they are completely remade and lose their mortal memories) Aristaeus spent most of his early life with his mother and siblings where they all pitched in to reteach him his family, his hobbies, his favourite things and ultimately how to live and love. Aristaeus was very attached to his maternal family because of this and his early acts of ingenuity were mostly born from his wish to make things easier for his family.
Aristaeus is the only one of his children Apollo hand raised full time. In those days, Aristaeus adored his father and believed him completely upright and blameless, the true face of a benevolent deity and the kind of man he aimed to be when he was full grown.
They would later have many bitter arguments and conflicts, the first and perhaps most impactful of all being their disagreement over Actaeon, Aristaeus' firstborn son. He wanted Apollo to teach him stating that it was a normal thing for a grandfather to do but Apollo vehemently refused to have any part of Actaeon's rearing, stating that he was not his child and that it was highly inappropriate for him to educate another god's son. When Actaeon later dies, Aristaeus blames a not insignificant part of that on Apollo - something that only worsens when he learns that it was Artemis who cursed the boy and that Apollo was always aware Actaeon would die young.
Spends most of his time travelling from place to place. Doesn't really like Olympus and prefers to spend his time minding animals or tending to fields. Is on wonderful terms with Demeter and Persephone and often makes decadent exchanges of olive oil and preserved meat for exotic flowers and fruit for his bees.
Big fan of wind and percussive instruments. Never liked the kithara because of how finicky it is and far prefers the hand drums and reed flutes of his mother's country. Exceptional dancer.
Will sell prized cattle for high quality and highly unique jewellry. Doesn't much care for gemstones but is an absolute gold fiend and has a massive collection of bracelets, anklets, nose and lip adornments and rings. Has never been north enough to hit India but got a ton of rare and different adornments from his Phoenician in-laws when he was married to Autonoë.
Hates dogs but doesn't mind wolves. Not a big horse fan either
Unlike other winds, he cannot transform into various animal forms. He's close enough to the Anemoi that he keeps up with the gossip but he's only really friends with Notos. Gets along poorly with Zephyrus whose preference for pretty youths has often led to them getting into physical altercations when they were younger. Aristaeus still holds a bit of a grudge about it.
Has a big stupid crush on Dionysus which is embarrassing because Dionysus also put him out of a job. Due to Dionysus' relative youth, he feels a bit conflicted about such feelings - mostly because Dionysus is on extremely good terms with Apollo and Aristaeus doesn't want him to get burned.
Despite kinda despising his father, Aristaeus is a pretty decent eldest brother and regularly keeps in contact with a lot of his siblings. He often delivers mead, flavoured honey and olive oil and uses it as an excuse to chat and catch up. Currently in a bit of a tiff with Asclepius because he's worried about him and his family.
Favourite colour is the rich gold of purified honey, favourite food is lokma and his favourite time of year is winter.
#ginger draws#pursuing daybreak posting#words cannot describe how much I love this man actually#other things Apollo has done that completely ruined his relationship with his firstborn include but are not limited to:#protecting and defending Aristaeus but letting Idmon die#giving Orpheus hope that he could recover Eurydice and not apologising for making Aristaeus immortal then raising him mortal#knowing how painful it would be to watch his siblings die#he firmly believes that Apollo knows a little bit of everything and could avert so much more pain if he just#warned people better#In a lot of ways Aristaeus still idolises his father - it's just that now he thinks of him as unfair and cruel instead of perfect#Apollo is content to let things be he's there when Aristaeus needs him but he won't force him to be around him#Aristaeus' intense reaction is why he started being more distant about raising his kiddos too btw#He can never detach himself emotionally but he tries not to be too permanent a fixture in their lives so they can learn about him#naturally from other people instead of growing up thinking of him as infallible or someone who would do things in their best interest#Apollo's beholden to Fate first and foremost - even his children can't change that#aristaeus#october art challenge#greek myths
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Reasons why i haven’t finished watching Prime Defenders Season 1:
Second hand embarrassment
Second hand embarrassment
Second hand embarrassment
anyways someone get all of these guys adderall asap
#it’s so painful#so fucking painful to watch#why would you say or do that#im actually shaking guys please#jrwi#just roll with it#jrwi prime defenders#just roll with it prime defenders
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just like you give artists love, please do the same for writers. weaving words together and crafting cohesive stories isn’t easy, let alone stories that evoke emotions. it is an art form too and writers deserve to know you’re reading and that they’re seen for the hard tedious painstaking thoughtful work they do.
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(231209) YOUNG K x SAY YES
#day6#youngk#young k#kang younghyun#one top#IF YOU GOT A LITTLE LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART JUST SAY YES~ SAY YES~ SAY YES!#bro... why is this song so addictive the more u listen to it..#anyways congrats on ur debut in a dance group yonk!!!!!! u did so well!!!!! proud of u!!!! <3#he is officially a dancer now pls add that to his neverending list of talents#im so glad woojae got him to audition as the main vocalist and he got chosen and got to appear in hangout with yoo#i had a great laugh watching the past few weeks :')#anyways this file was 2gb... i cried... but the quality speaks for itself <3#mucore is usually a pain in the a** to colour bc of the lighting and background.. but this.. i cried happy tears asfkjkasd#*
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"I wish we could stay here"
"I wish we could have the life we dreamed of"
"But you are gone and none of this is real"
"So I have to let you go"
#rwby#rwby volume 9#rwby volume 9 spoilers#rwby spoilers#neopolitan#roman torchwick#jaune arc#pyrrha nikos#speciall delivery: pain#THIS IS THE FIRST THING THAT CAME TO MI MIND WHEN I SAW THAT SCENE#The paralels 😭#this is the whole reason why I watched the movie#so suffer with me#arkos
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the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid
#russian is like the surface of a feather like it's light but not exactly “soft” but still very delicate#german is . cute ? i think it's adorable . it has a lot of momentum it makes u wanna talk fast and talk a lot#like it's squishy . sleek surface w a soft inside#thai is like song . it's like interprative dance or maybe a trust-fall . everything follows from the previous thing#it feels like a little fairy flying up and letting itself fall and flying up again and so on (for fun). its so beautiful but also playful#mandarin chinese is like . idk why but it gives me the same vibe the concept of Observation does . like to read and to see and absorb#and then to translate that into smth else . like . imagine a poet people watching or an artist preparing a canvas w practiced hands. thats#the vibe. soft and elegant and musical but like...in a way that feels lived-in. arabic feels wise ? like music or poetry u read#and feel nothing about then years later u stumble on and it applies to everything in ur life. that kind of vibe. like it knows more than u#and itll make sure ur heart and soul grows as big as its lexicon . polish is like snowflakes falling . it has the feeling of complexity and#elegance but it's also so so light and slippery and...maybe not elusive but the feeling of losing a dance partner in a waltz ? like fun and#light but also an underlying elegance and somberness still . turkish is like the feeling when u get a text from ur crush#and your heart tightens and you cant tell if it's really painful or really amazing . it feels like unrequited love . or a caress#or making out with someone when you know its the last time you'll see them. its beautiful in a yearning longing way#korean is like joking around w ur friends and you've stayed up until like almost 5 AM and youre so delirious that everything is funny#and ur speaking kind of lightly and openly and everything you say holds a lot of weight and doesnt matter at all. you laugh at everything#and youre practically talking in inside jokes and watching the sunrise together . one of them hits u on the shoulder lovingly. ur by a fire#yoruba feels like the metatheory of the matatheory . abstraction until it circles back to intuition or maybe#it feels like plotting the route of a comet or maybe like the soft warm whirr of statistics. trying to verbalise beauty somehow#when you know the best thing you can show it is by telling everyone just look!! look at the sky just look!#anyway yh i think i could do this for every language ever tbh
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Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!
There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!
I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)
And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.
#there’s a whole other bit to this about how like. it’s hard for fandom to hold the idea that someone can be both a victim and abusive#at the same time. that the ways someone has been hurt don’t always shape them into kindness and wide-eyed sympathy. occasionally it just#makes them hard to live with. and I think most obviously is the thing that a lot of what Dean does is an expression of love. of protection.#he’s very much his father’s son in that way. that’s why Sam. the guy he’s been Told to protect his whole life. is also the person he ends up#hurting the most. it’s tragedy. it’s realistic. it’s a good fucking mess.#and that’s why I don’t get interpretations of dean that are determined to shave off the ugly parts of his character. to me those are the#parts that make him a character worth revisiting. he’s so full of love. and he uses it to hurt people. he means to sometimes. a lot of the#time he doesn’t but hurts them anyway. he has been shaped by violence his whole life. and it’s just. I get why someone might take this#part of him away. to make him easier to love. because I get that he’s stressful to watch also like I get that. but he is.#he is compelling. in his anger and his controlling behavior and his strangling love. he is compelling in all the ways he has become this.#Dean’s degradation into these behaviors can be both a failure of a show that ran to long but also the believable trajectory of a man who#can’t heal. and I love him for that. I love him for emerging from pain as a angry sharp thing. I love that it brings the glimpses of him#being gentler and recognizing his actions as bad into stark relief. I love that this recognition often only lasts until he is hurt again and#then he backpedals into the safety of behaviors he knows will allow him to control a situation through force or manipulation.#it’s good fucking mess. you know? dean winchester everybody.#maybe I should have put all that in the main post. oh well. too late now.#spn#dean winchester#tw abuse
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Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck
#More in my reblog#“my father taught me more lessons than I can count” yeah dog they were called CAUTIONARY TALES 😭😭😭#“pull me too close and I'm destined to hurt you” FUCKIGN. BITING YOU#“a champion's heart is as sharp as a new blade” SO CRAZY I GOT THIS SICK ASS ARMOUR. TRY ME.#I'm actually in physical pain over this. Wyll my love.#I need to rip ulder in two with my bare hands right now.#sorry I JUST saw the breakup scene for the first time today and I haven't stopped thinking about it it's making me ill with sadness#he didn't even break up with ME but it fucking feels like it goddamn#bg3#Wyll Ravengard#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 analysis#oh my GOD and the fact that he offers one last dance. I'mgoing to ufckingexplode#and he spends five whole seconds just. holding the character. not even dancing.#I watched the version with him and astarion ofc I don't romance wyll myself (lesbianism)#makes me wanna write a fucking fic (derogatory)#why the fuck is everyone so ill over astarion when mr insane mental health issues is RIGHT here (i know why. but still)
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Rewatching dead boy detectives and I love the music box that starts playing when Charles started hitting the night nurse. Like, the haunting melody went so well with the shock of what we learned about Charles' past and his sudden outburst (spiralling out of control, the feeling of the world beating down on you over and over and even when you try your best, be your best self, it isn't enough and there isn't anything you can do). And then morphed to something more upbeat/thrilling when she fell into the sea, followed by complete silence with Charles' breakdown. Oughhhhhhhhh
#dead boy detectives spoilers#mention of abuse ahead ->#those scenes were so good but so hard to watch. the belt hits close to home especially#I'm not an expert but you know how physical abuse can sometimes lead to sense of lacking control#how your body is something that should only belong to you#and you can't even stop it from being struck by the hands of those who are supposed to care for you#him mentioning his father smashed his tape and he said it wasn't a big deal#him being violated by the night nurse by being forced to relive his pain and everything that's been going on#world falling apart in front of you / there's nothing to be done but let it happen despite your best effort#I guess it feels like old ghosts in different form#no wonder why devlin house was a torture for him#when charles said he can't stop anything I justtttttttttttt#charles ily so much.......................#anyway my head's fever-muddled
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