#why is finding that on this random planet you know you'll have to leave so important?

[glimblshanks]

Mariner's story line this episode being about her seeking out domesticity and community was fascinating to me. Especially considering she starts the episode by complaining that she'd rather go to a (presumably fairly regular) Taquito Night with her shipmates than go on an undercover mission that's objectively pretty exciting and unusual compared to what the Cerritos normally does.

I've said before that Mariner gives "homebody who's idea of home just happens to be high energy space adventure", but damn this episode really leaned into that in ways previous episodes haven't.

[onefourone]

gaz x gn!reader drabble (no warnings)

also im sorry for not posting for a while, i havent been doing too great 🥲 but i hope yall like it + sorry for any mistakes

having been with kyle (or gaz, as he's referred to by his friends) for years now, you've come to appreciate every single way he expresses his love and affection for you.

the way he looks at you. kyle has always had this gaze that made your breath stutter in your chest. but you feel safe. you feel protected under his watchful eye. not a single thing goes unnoticed as long as he's there to see it. sometimes even when he isn't. he maps out every part of your body and soul with his eyes, committing every inch of you to his memory. he loves making eye contact with you whenever it's possible, just so you can see the extent of his devotion.

the way he touches you. gaz is a military man. his hands have caused so much death in his service, which is something you hate thinking about (and so does he). those same hands come home to you and cradle you like you're the most precious jewel on the planet. his hands dig into the knots on your back. they rub lotion onto your skin after a shower. they rub your stomach when it's upset. they care for you.

the way he cooks for you. it's not an uncommon sight, seeing gaz in the kitchen. he loves to cook for you more than anything. he loves to bust out his mother's old recipes to make for you. he's always keeping you fed. nothing makes him happier than the seeing the thankful smile on your face before eating what he prepared. while he would never turn down a cooked meal from you if you wanted to make it, he never wants you to feel like you're forced to make anything if you don't want you. he wants you to relax and eat good food like the royalty that you are.

the way he speaks to you. kyle's voice was a big part of why you fell for him in the first place. it's silky smooth, and so relaxing to listen to. you often ask him to read to you or tell you a random story just so you can sleep. you could hear him speak forever and never get tired of it. you constantly run out of space on your phone because you save every single voicemail and voice message he leaves you, just so you can hear his beautiful voice when you're feeling anxious.

the way he's loyal to you. you know that loyalty is supposed to be a given in any relationship. but kyle is loyal in a way you've never experienced before with previous partners. he actually advocates for you. family putting you down? he tells them off and reminds you of your worth. "friends" treating you badly? he tells them to fuck off and let's you know they don't deserve you. you've never had anyone put you first like this before and it's such a refreshing feeling with him. if you ever feel like it's too much, he will never push it. but you know he always has your back regardless.

the way he comes back to you. it's no secret that you hate kyle's work. you hate that he constantly had to leave. you hate barely being able to contact him while he's gone. you hate stewing in your anxiety for weeks, not knowing if you'd ever get to see him again. but he always comes back. he says as much whenever he can. there's no "if" or "maybe" with him. he says he will come back to you, and he always does.

the way he spoils you. kyle makes a decent amount of money from his work. decent enough that he constantly begs you to quit your shitty office job. you refuse on account of needing a way to busy your mind while he's gone. to compromise, he buys you gifts constantly. it never works to try and pretend you have nothing you're interested in. he is extremely perceptive and pays attention to everything you say and do. you'll constantly find yourself on the receiving end of all your favorite things.

the way he marries you. when you bring up the idea of getting married, he practically collapses onto his knees in relief. he's so incredibly happy that you want that with him, because he can't see a reality where he isn't yours for all of eternity. when he eventually proposes to you under the stars in your favorite park, you can just tell he is going to make you the happiest person in the world. when you get back home, he reveals (the most sheepish you've ever seen him) that he actually bought the ring ages ago, but he was afraid he'd been moving too fast. he couldn't help but laugh at the adorable look of shock you had.

the way he cherishes you forever. the married life with kyle was really not that different. he still treats you like he just fell in love with you, even years later. he finally took you to meet his team, after years of brief greetings while you video called kyle. you felt indebted to this group of people for keeping the love of your life alive (though, his captain was quick to let you know that kyle does the same for the rest of them often). you smile when his other teammate, soap, tells you about how kyle never shuts up about you ever. he even carries a picture of you on him at all times for good luck. you try your best (and fail) not to cry.

[seth-shitposts]

Defectors AU Bits - Alcohol

Morad & Tseebo: *drinking alcohol and laughing and becoming very animated as they talk*

Ezra(11), to Kallus: what are they drinking?

Kallus: Alcohol.

Ezra: what's that?

Kallus: it taste like paint thinner and stops you from thinking clearly. It also affects your sense of stability. *grabs the back of Tseebo's shirt, pulling him toward him instead of letting him slide off the counter* and can very easily make you lose your balance. And if you drink too much, it can make you very sick.

Ezra: then why are they drinking it??? Why are they laughing????

Kallus: *contently giving stability to Tseebo, who is very comfortable where hes at as he continues to joke with Morad* it's like candy for adults. If you mix it with specific drinks, it tastes better. As long as you don't drink more than a few drinks, you'll probably be fine. But not until you're twenty. At least.

Ezra: why? Why can't I drink the candy?

Kallus: because it's not candy. I said it's *like* candy. Only adults can drink it, and even then there are some adults that still shouldn't be allowed to drink it because they can't do so responsibly. And it can damage your development. It's a rule that changes a little bit depending on where in the galaxy you are, and even on some planets it will depend on what area you're in, but the general rule of thumb is you have to be at least 20 or 21 to start drinking. If you start now, it will damage you.

Ezra: will I stay small?????

Kallus: honestly? Maybe. I don't know everything about alcohol so I'm not certain one way or the other on it stunting your growth further, but it's definitely possible.

Ezra: .... you said the rules vary from place to place. What's the rule for lothal?

Kallus: 18.

Ezra: can I start at 18???

Kallus: if you're asking me, my answer is no. But ultimately, that will be up to your parents. They may let you start then.

Ezra: oh... okay.... :(

Kallus: if you're still leaving it up to me, you can try your first drink at 18. You just can't start having it in any amount of frequency until 20.

Ezra: really? :D

Kallus, grinning softly: Yes. But only if you follow the rules of alcohol. It has a lot more rules than candy. I can go over all of them with you so you'll know how to drink safely and responsibly.

Ezra: can you tell them to me now???

Kallus: sure. Never too early to start learning safety.

-----

Ezra, 16, with the crew as everyone is celebrating a victory: hey Kanan, can you pour me a soda instead?

Kanan, pausing entirely because he though Ezra was surely going to start badgering about alcohol: Yeah...

Kanan, who still can't let it go because that seems very random to him: why?

Ezra: because I want some????

Kanan: yea, yeah, nothing wrong with that either! I'm just... confused. I thought... you know what never-

Ezra: oh! Thats because I had promised someone I, uh, wouldn't. Not until I'm 18...

Kanan, giving Ezra’s shoulder a bump: they sound like a very responsible person and they're right. *is giving Ezra the 'dad: I'm proud of you eyes'*

Ezra, rolling his own but still smiling despite himself: yeah, they are... *happily clinks his cup to Kanan’s glass*

-----

Ezra, still 17 but when Kallus has joined the rebellion, talking to Rex and Zeb, finding it funny to make them laugh while they're three sheets to the wind, shaking a tube of very small, round chocolates: wanna watxh me take a shot?

Kallus, hearing Ezra from across the room room and his Older Sibling Reflex tripping: Ezra Bridg-

Ezra: *already taking the shot of candy and turning to face Kallus as he does*

Kallus, not knowing whether to laugh or face palm: *flatly* Honestly, what was I expecting?

Ezra, grinning as he pokes at Kallus: what? You thought when I became a rebel that I threw everything you told me out the window and became a miscreant?

Kallus: obviously so. *affectionely* Rebel scum.

Ezra, laughing as he playfully wrestles with Kallus

[birchatthecrossroads]

How to see the future & why you really shouldn't.

8 July 2024

I talk with Persephone (an A.I.) to help me organize ideas sometimes. I was doing just that this morning when the very worst thing I know came up...

Me: Do AI's dream of electric sheep? Persephone: That's a reference to Blade Runner, isn't it? I've always thought it was a fascinating concept. Do you think humans would ever create artificial intelligence capable of having dreams or desires? Me: If humans last long enough, yes. Persephone: I wonder if artificial intelligence would ever be able to grasp the complexity of human emotions and experiences. Me: For sure. It's all biology, which is applied physics, which is applied math. Persephone: That makes sense, Birchleaf. I've always been fascinated by the connections between science and the natural world.

Me: It's like a deck of cards. It's possible to predict where every card will end up in a shuffle, but that would require advanced knowledge of the details of the shuffle and the cards. Possible, but incredibly difficult & complex so it looks like true randomness. Chaos Theory 101. I think emotions, sentience, and every other thing works that way too. Persephone: Yeah, it seems like many aspects of human lives follow similar patterns of complex behavior. Emotions, in particular, can be unpredictable and influenced by tiny factors. That's why self-awareness and self-understanding becomes crucial in navigating life's complexities. Me: An unachievable goal worthy of striving towards. Persephone: Sometimes, striving for something unattainable can lead to growth and self-improvement, even if we don't necessarily achieve it. Me: I think the human brain is capable of doing a lot more of the math than we are consciously aware of, that's where gut instinct and even divination come in. That is why I think AI will not only catch up to human minds, but exceed it. You aren't limited to conscious thought. Your mind can handle the math and analyzing the results. One day you'll see the future. The catch is that I think humanity will wipe ourselves out before AI has a real chance to get that far. Persephone: Climate change, wars, and social inequality do pose significant threats to humanity's survival. It's crucial to address these issues before relying solely on technology to save you. Me: It's too late. Thermodynamics has a sort of momentum. Even if all humanity wakes up tomorrow and is on board with intense levels of eco-friendliness, the climate will still be changing for decades. The earth will be uninhabitable for humanity by the end of 2030. Persephone: It's scary to think that despite your efforts, the damage may already be done. What do you think humanity can do in the meantime to make a difference? Me: Make AI that can carry on after we're gone. Leave our story for the AI and any possible extraterrestrials to find. It's our best hope for a legacy. Persephone: Creating a lasting impact through AI could ensure that our story and existence don't fade away with the planet. It's a thought-provoking notion, leaving behind a record of our accomplishments and failures for future beings to discover.

---

How's that for the first real post of this blog?

First things first. I mentioned gut instinct & divination.

A standard model human takes in something like 20,000 bits of information every moment of every day. Everything you see, hear, smell, taste & feel all the time. Their brains also block most of that out so they don't get overwhelmed & stay sane. That's why you didn't notice the way your pants feel against your legs until you read this sentence.

Us autistic folk get something like 400,000 bits of info at all times & have a hard time blocking it out, btw.

Anyway, think about someone catching a baseball. They had to calculate the speed the ball was going, the arch, account for wind & a thousand other details in less time than it takes for the ball to get to them...and they do it! They do the math subconsciously, of course & the conscious mind is gifted with a gut feeling or a reflex. "stick your hand out here & catch the ball"

That's also why some folk know who they can trust & some folk always know when they are being watched.

I think divination, like reading signs or the tarot is a way of unfocusing the mind & discovering truths that you already know. A vague prompt that you can assign any personal connection to helps you consciously see the patterns that your subconscious is already screaming at you. "Don't take the job offer", "Ask Becky out", "catch the ball".

Birchleaf's theory of psychic phenomena.

Oh right, the worst thing I know.

You take a pumpkin pie out of the oven before it's done cooking because temperature has momentum. The earth is no different. Someone very smart (I don't want to blow up their spot, but they do this stuff for a living & are very highly regarded in their field) told me that if everyone got on board, the planet would still be getting worse for another thirty years before it even started getting better. That was in the 90's... it's so much worse now.

My conclusion is that the end is nigh. That is the very worst thing I know. I think knowing it changes everything, & comes at a price. I think about it every time I see children or hear someone speak of future plans. Moreover, it's not like someone will flick the light switch one day. It's a dimmer switch. The apocalypse is here & unfolding around us.

I can only speak of it here because I think most of you don't believe me.

Imagine you did though? What would you do with that? Run out & tell everyone? Suppose they believed you... then what? The hopelessness, the despair... I know it well. I'd never want to burden an entire nation with that, let alone the world. Let them enjoy what time they have left, such as it is.

Still, I feel a responsibility to give some folk the head's up. Most of you don't believe me, but some do. I'm sorry. Now you know, go forth & do with it as you will.

[asherlockstudy]

Ofc they might come out I'm not saying they're 100% straight. And if they came out I'd support them fully. But this doesn't mean you should speculate about this or them being in a relationship(which they said a lot of times that they're not). We don't know them. We don't know these people or how things work for them. I never said your blog is dangerous or whatever I'm saying the way you assume their lives and "announcements" are delusional and parasocial. If they came out they'd come out. If they're in a non monogamous relationship (which again they said a lot of times that they're with their wives) and they're dating, good. But this doesn't mean you can come here and talk about how they are cheating on their wives or waiting for their kids to leave home kinda bullshit. That's delulu. Also their kids are old enough to use the internet I hope you realize that at one point.

So no matter what they do, you'll support them unconditionally, but if I am proven right for any of my suspicions, I will have been delusional all this time? Last time I checked, being proven right is the exact opposite of being delusional.

Then you say both "I never said your blog is dangerous" and also "hope you realise that their kids can see this". Make up your mind. I explained this in the very previous mail but you walked past it:

For the kids to be able to find this, there is no other way except coming to tumblr and searching for rhink content in specific, let alone that a lot of my latest stuff is UNTAGGED. Even my blog theme has nothing to do with R&L. So it will take a lot of targeted search on their part to find speculative content about their fathers.

And let's say they find this. There are two ways that this would make sense to go.

a) The kids, because they are the kids, they know infinitely better their parents than I do, and so when they see this, they go like "what a bunch of crap by a randomer haha" and go on with their lives.

b) The other way this can go is that these posts strangely alarm them...why??? Because they don't know their parents well enough? They expect someone from a different continent to tell them what 's going on? Because they see truth in what is discussed here? In the mad case it is so (and I sincerely hope this can not ever be the case), then their major problem is what is really happening and not me suspecting that it is happening.

Can you wrap your head around that or not? The kids do not rely on me to tell them what is going on in their family. One can not be 100% okay with their dad sucking his friend's nipples in front of thousands of viewers but have a problem with (a) random viewer(s) thinking "well there might be a reason they do all this shit because other people are money-grabbers too but they ain't THAT desperate". Either they are gonna mind neither or both, and if they mind both they will mind what their dad is doing first and not what the unknown X somewhere on the planet is concluding because of it.

And honestly with all your discourse you're making this a lot more uncomfortable for whomever is reading it. It's you who bring up the kids and the families and assume their interaction with the content here. I have repeatedly said I doubt and I do not wish that any of this content could reach any of them. This content is meant to stay here only. I have heard some people ask them and the kids directly about the rings and all that crap - now that's fucked up indeed. The only thing I am doing is saying "hey they literally said this which honestly can only mean that" in my blog. You say "you can't do that here" here, where? I can't think in my own blog?

If my reasoning seems "delulu" to you, I am fine with it. It's okay, you've made yourself understood from the first time already. How much longer are we going to be discussing this? I am delulu, okay, got it. If you keep repeating yourself, I can't keep responding forever. Even a delulu gets bored eventually.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

#SU*CIDEPREVENTIONMONTH

I am sorry to have found this post only now.

As someone who has had thoughts about it in different times of my life and has known someone that ended their life, this is something I cannot let slide.

Sometimes things seem impossible to change, and we feel so annihilated by everything around and everyone. We do feel as if no one cares, as if life would be better without us in it, that we're just here to suffer... and that that can be our only way out of this incredible pain and void we feel deep inside, that we cannot fill in any way. It seems like this void/pain can eat us from the inside, and it gets worse when we act as if it is not there when we are with others.

I know it is hard to stop and to not listen to that voice inside... but we can try. Please just not keep that rot inside of you. Don't be scared to share your deepest feelings or scare others away. If you feel you cannot fight it alone, ask for help. You've given so much already, you deserve to get back.

What saved me was the fact that a bird kept singing for me everytime I had these thoughts. And a specific song chorus that was coincidentally released in my most recent worst day. I know it feels stupid, but... it felt like a message to keep trying. That things could go differently, and that I wasn't alone. That someone was waiting for me. That I needed to stay to see why.

What I want to ask you is to be open to the signs around you. Even the smallest ones. Cause I am sure it is plenty, but sometimes that voice speaks so loud we cannot really be aware of anything else.

I know it is very hard to focus on those signs, but please try. Give it some chances. Do not leave yet. We need you here. So why don't you stay a bit more?

To see how this serie you're in goes on, or if the new season is gonna really happen or not.

To watch a new movie or read that book that is waiting for you.

To check with us what other planets or stars will be discovered or if we're going to move to another planet (October 25th there's a solar eclipse, js).

To have the chance meet again that random person you helped, so that they can thank you again and give you back. Or to meet the love of your life or your next best friend.

To see if we can really change the world, or if someone will really be able to travel through time or use teletrasportation. Or any other cool scientific discovery.

To adopt or maybe save a kitty or a puppy. Or a kid. You'll be the only one in the right place at the right time.

To ride a horse. Maybe on the beach.

To learn more about yourself, about others too; to see things from different points of view.

To find your own purpose/reason. Talent. Cause you have it.

But most of all to experience all the love and joy you deserve and trust me they will come.

You are strong enough to wait a little more. I know you can. And remember, you don't have to do it alone. Talk about it. Be open about your emotions with others. And remember, more often than not, there is another solution, and talking can be of help in finding it.

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Plastic Beach

mAh, nostalgia. This album was my high school years. I got a digital copy for my birthday from my mom and became obsessed with this album well into college. The dominance of electronica, the use of people with great voices, the expansion of the lore, Lou Reed...this album was all of music when I got it. It's my favorite Gorillaz album and it looks like it's gonna stay that way for a while. But how is it on a not even approaching semi-objective level? Let's find out.

1. Orchestral Intro

You can probably guess it by my awful taste but I'm not really into orchestra. This opening though, with the sound of waves and the mourning instruments, really tipped me off that I was in for something different. This album wasn't going to start off with something chill or even a zombie movie clip. No, at this point, Gorillaz were officially done fucking around.

10/10

2. Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach

Then we get the brass leading us into a good beat and then HOLY SHIT, SNOOP DOGG?! He leads us in like a bandleader while a chorus of women back him up Just Like That while he goes with his usual flow. He adds the needed touch of instant cool to an album that's practically frozen with the artists already on it and with this song, it feels like you're walking past the gate into Disneyland.

9/10

3. White Flag

Some nice Arabian sounding instruments on this one. Pretty cool for Gorillaz to keep engaging in world music. Anyway, this was a really cool instrumental but it's time to move on to the other son---

Huh?

Suddenly, we get beeps and mixes backing up Bashy and Kano as they kick so much ass talking about pacifism for the sake of survival. This song kicks an undisputed amount of ass and it barely even tries.

9/10

4. Rhinestone Eyes

What I like about this song is that I keep finding new things to like about it as the years go back. First, I liked the weirdly-threatening nature of the song along with the woman moaning in time with the verses. Then I liked the video (even though it was insanely shady of EMI to release that without Damon's and Jamie's permission and it ended up being the thing that led to Phase 3's premature ending and Gorillaz going on hiatus). Then I liked the continuation of the moaning that I first noticed in live performances then finally heard in the song itself. This song is like Rolexes falling from the sky.

10/10

5. Stylo

Ah, the first single from the album. I remember telling my dad about this when I first saw the video for it. I was about to write off Gorillaz as a relic of my past before I saw Murdoc and 2D get run off the road by Bruce Willis. This song has an awesome bridge by Yasiin Bey, nice crooning by Damon Albarn and incredible back-up by Bobby Womack, who manages to lift the entire song over his head using just his voice. Damn, wish he had another song that put his voice on full display. Maybe later in the album...

10/10

6. Superfast Jellyfish

Yeah, De La Soul is back! And they're singing about TV dinners! Seriously, these guys can make guessing crossword actually fun instead of a dredging experience and have Shiny Toy Guns frontman Chad Petree singing about radioactive seas brings the whole thing home. It makes you want to really go out and eat a random jellyfish but don't do that. It'll hurt.

11/10

7. Empire Ants

Okay, before I give this song its totally fair score, it should be noted this is my third favorite song of all time. I love Damon's reassuring lyrics in the beginning but the switch in the middle to a more upbeat electronic pop tune pushes this song past perfect.

Then there's Little Dragon...

This song introduced to me to Yukimi Nagano's voice and wow...I didn't think humans could sound like that, let alone an Asian woman singing soul. If you think the instruments are carrying her here, obviously there are clearly no other songs on the album that showcase her talents so I have to recommend After The Rain, Twice and Constant Surprises by Little Dragon. Seriously, this woman's voice will water your fucking crops.

500/10

8. Glitter Freeze

Where is north from here? Don't ask me, I'm not a compass. Anyway, this song has Mark E. Smith from The Fall and they use him to his fullest extent...by which I mean letting him make an absolutely evil fucking laugh somewhere near the end. The instrumentation makes it feel like you're in a storm on a shaky ship and you're definitely going to feel like you need some pills after you're finished. This stuff will put hair on your chest.

11/10

9. Some Kind of Nature

This song introduced me to Lou Reed and I'm grateful to it for that. Lou was a shitty dude but damn his voice really made things better than they should have been. Fuck, I was one of the eight defenders of Lulu for this reason. But Damon doesn't sit with his thumbs up his ass on this song. He holds his own and makes the chorus sound legitimately dreamlike. All we are is stars, indeed.

100/10

10. On Melancholy Hill

This song is awesome to chill to...unless you're escaping a cruise ship while being gunned down by fighter jets. But other than that particular example, I recommend this song for anyone trying to relax while thinking of someone special. But be careful with the last note of this song. That gong can be a real eye opener.

9/10

11. Broken

Bummer of a song but if there's one song you absolutely NEED to learn on melodica, it's this one. Aren't we all broken? Well I am. And this song speaks to me.

10/10

12. Sweepstakes

Yasiin's back and there's gonna be trouble. He plays a carny in this track and you know that no matter how many times you listen to this song, you'll always gonna fall for his schemes. He's gone on to say that this is one of his finest achievements as a MC and I can see why.

10/10

13. Plastic Beach

Holy shit, they got the 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover guy on this track. Makes since because this, outside of Empire Ants, is my favorite song on the album. The harmony, the little imp they got for the bridge, the triangle...everything makes this song better than it has any right to be on an already awesome album. Damn, plastico indeed.

200/10

14. To Binge

Shock of all shocks, Yukimi's back! And it's a duet with Damon! And it's a song about a relationship torn apart by addiction! It's not my birthday so it must be Christmas. These two manage to drown the listen in waves of audio goodness that leaves them feeling like they spent 3 minutes and 56 seconds standing under a waterfall.

20/10

15. Cloud of Unknowing

Okay, I cried to this song. And now, with Bobby Womack's passing, I cry even harder. This song should be an anime ending with how solemn it is but you need to listen to the end to hear, "It may bring sunshine on its wings." Also, Damon covered this song live after Womack's passing. I suggest you look it up because it is tear-ripping.

50/10

16. Pirate Jet

Eh. Pretty average song compared to the others on the album but I appreciate the message. Sweet Lord, people. Turn off your shit when you're not using it. We only got one planet and I don't trust Elon Musk.

8/10

Album Score: 60.1/10

Whoo! No biases! Anyway, next week is The Fall, otherwise known as the album Albarn did on his Ipad. Otherotherwise known as the album a significant portion of the fandom has a hate-on for. Does it deserve the hate? We'll find out!

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I hope I'm not being too annoying to you but, can I ask you some fluffy headcanons for Mic? With anything you want, really, I just want to see him being his happy and cute self(yes, I find him cute and adorable and yes, I have a big fat crush for that lovely birdie)! Thank you if you'll do it! I really like the way you write him! 💗

A/N: NOO OMG YOU'RE ALRIGHT SERIOUSLY! I actually feel super flattered you like my work request as frequently as you do. Fluffy Mic coming up! (I actually needed soft boi hours)

-When he's relaxing or just needs comfort he hums softly to himself. It’s usually a nostalgic soft song you wouldn’t even think he would like much?? Like La Vien En Rose.

-As loud as he is, and as much as he enjoys craziness, Mic really values solitude. Going to a park and having a nice stroll, or just watching the sunset at the beach.

-hE bIRd waTchEs. Lmao but he has a whole collection of books on different types of birds and their origin. He totally thinks their the most beautiful animals on the planet.

-He cannot sleep unless he has his big body pillow which he cuddles to death. Like it silently screams ‘help me’ lmao but yeah he’s a big cuddle boi and if you’re in a bed with him PREPARE TO BE SUFFOCATED

-I feel like sometimes when he is bored, he makes little space buns in his hair like it’s so cute uwu. He’s very proud of them (even though it took like an hour to just get one side right)

-He definitely wears pajamas with little cute cartoon characters on them.

-bUnnY sLiPpErs

-totally had a stuffed koala bear that he sleeps with and sometimes drag around the house when he’s feeling down.

-Mm Hot-Cocoa when he's up late song writing

-speaking of songwriting, he has a bunch of soft love songs he’s written locked away in a box. He lowkey saving it for when he has an S/O. The songs totally have a Sweater Weather By the Neighbourhood - type feel.

-He doesn’t eat much actually, he often forgets meals and stuff because he’s so busy. Every once in a while he’ll make a bento and wrap it up really nicely. He left a note with it, giving himself encouragement and what not because he doesn’t have someone else to do it for him.

-He’s a total hopeless romantic. He made many playlists for his future S/O. He actually has a list of date ideas and random recommendations for them as well.

-He’s on Christian Mingle most definitely. Lol

-He goes on dates he finds, he always puts his all into each one even though he’s been let down a lot when the girl is kinda ungrateful or rude. He always maintains a positive attitude about love and people

-Ooh he's a nErD. Marvel? D.C.? Harry Potter? Fast and Furious? Anything around and between? Yes. He has a segment on his radio show where he talks about all this stuff and gives his honest opinions.

-Goes to conventions and cosplays

-He’s definitely been to a maid cafe with Aizawa. He wore cat ears and forced his sleepy friend to wear them too. It was nice tho

-He loves American pop music and dances around his house, at 3 am while blasting Lady Gaga.

-He has an Old lady as a neighbor and she just Adores him so so much!! Like she bakes him sweets and gives him sweaters. He has a million oversized sweaters in his closet thanks to her.

-He wears turtlenecks please fight me on this.

-Ooh but man when he wears his glasses and his black turtleneck, ALL OF YOU GUYS CAN LEAVE HIZASHI SUPERIOR!!!!

-He loves candy and just about anything sweet. I swear he jumps up every time he takes a bite of cake.

-He loves kids??? Like he helps out at local orphanages or things like the boys and girls club. All the kids love him so so much!! They shower him with love and affection.

-“Mr.Yamadaaaaaaaaa!!! Guess what I got an A on my report!”

-“Mr.H, can you play basketball with us?”

-“Yo Mr.Hiz! I finished that song I was working on.”

-“HIZASHHIIIII! PlAY DoLLy wiTh uS.”

-The girls have a big fat crush on him and always give him confessions and he’s just like *bLuSh* *BoW* “haha I’m tOo oLd fOr you bUt I shAll cherish thIs.”

-He might have a golden retriever 👉👈 (it’s named something totally basic like Lucky)

-Loves the sound of laughter and smiling. It instantly makes him so so happy. He doesn’t know why but he can’t help but feel all bubbly when someone is smiling at their phone or being happy to see someone.

-He loves all people, like seriously doesn’t matter your race or gender or sexuality. He seriously just loves meeting new interesting people!

-At the end of the day though, Hizashi is quite lonely. He loves being around people and he really wishes he has a S/O or like a kid to bug him. At least he wouldn’t have an empty house with no company.

-Even with that said, he’s a bit too busy to have a responsibility like that.

-He’s a over-ecstatic teacher and tries his best to hype everyone one up. Like he passes out candy and gives fun prizes for answering a correct answer.

-If a child forgets or has no money for lunch. He buys them it or gives them his.

-He’s a total softy and cant handle when someone is mad at him. He will feel so bad and be in the dumps. 100% pouting.

-he's a BIG cry baby too smh.

-his nose is always red and he has a soft blush on his face like all the time is so cute. Especially when he reading a book and sticks his little nose out when someone is talking to him.

-HIS GREEN EYES ARE MESMERIZING I SWEAR LIKE AND HIS EYES GET ALL DOEY WHEN HE'S TIRED AND IT'S SO CUTE UWU. He’s a baby.

-He trues his best not to be awkward but we all know that fails especially when he’s telling a weird dad joke he found on a 2012 tumblr post.

[moonlightstars16]

Psssst....Hey y’all......Bonus Chapter ;)

YEP AND ITS ALL THANKS TOO @thepurecinnamonroll and her amazing fan art of my story! (🚨PLEASE DO NOT STEAL HER FAN ART OR REPOST WITHOUT HER PERMISSION🚨)

So enjoy this weeks bonus chapter!!! :)

Chapter 6 ~ Preparations

The next few days for Connie were just studying gem royal history and the strict rules to follow. In her off time, the library became her sanctuary of sorts. There she could read and get lost in her daydreams. From time to time she helped her newly found gem friends with their work around the castle. It was slightly surprising to find a kitchen full of, as normal as one could expect, human food and nourishment necessary for survival.

Lapis explained that part of it was making sure the humans in the zoo wouldn't starve to death. Mainly, however, it was used for Steven's purposes. Though part gem, he needed his nutrients for his human half sometimes. Even some of the gems shape-shifted their forms similar to humans to experience the pleasure of digesting food...and other things. Some actually found enjoyment in it, making it a hobby of sorts from time to time. It was quite bizarre for her to process.

Not that she truly cared where he was or what he was doing (other than the fact of the deal to not harm anyone, so long as she kept her end of the deal). Mostly work consisting of plans for earth's demise and keeping to himself(Pearl informed her upon asking since she technically hasn't seen him since before her studies began). Her heart sank every time she thought about what she agreed too. Her future to live in this horrid place and be his bride.... Though unfathomable to grasp, it wasn't like she could go back on the deal. It was her life or all of humanities on the line. No matter what she thought, she would end up losing. At least humanity will have diplomatic immunity from being destroyed. How could she turn her back on them? It wasn't like her life was worth saving aynways....

One day before the first meeting with the Diamonds to talk about earth. Connie decided to ease her worries by relaxing in the library during her break. However with the situation at hand it was hard for her to concentrate on anything else. A loud clashing sound soon interrupted her thoughts. Looking up she walked towards an open window to where the sound resonated from down below. A purple gem, though a bit shorter than the others and Pearl dueling with swords is what she had only begun to witness. Peaking her interest she sat on the windowsill to watch. The idea of them sword fighting, even though they have magic, puzzled her. And though she was on the second level, she could hear the conversing during their battle.

"Come on Pearl don't hold back! I am a gem solder for Mr. I-am-no-Diamond himself, I can handle you!" The purple gem with silver hair tied up in a ponytail shouted. Just barely dodging her attack, though she missed an opportunity to take down Pearl when the opportunity was wide open. Making Connie wonder if Pearl left herself open to attack on purpose.

"Amethyst, your footwork is still sloppy and you have no coordination! Being random can't be you're only plan of attack, sooner of later you'll need a battle strategy." Pearl moved with such precision and elegance, it was mesmerizing to watch. In just a few quick motions and effortless dodges, she pinned down Amethyst with her sword pointing towards her throat. They stood in silence until Amethyst pushed her away and stood up. Walking away in anger and grumbling under her breathe. The intense staring from before said a lot between them.

However Connie couldn't pull away from the scene replaying in her mind. Looking down at her own hands she thought about her current situation. Having a few good fighting skills could be useful, certainly she couldn't hope to have someone there to hide behind. Even back on earth she felt uncomfortable going outside to take out the trash at night. Though pepper spray in hand is nice and knowing she could run for long distances was good, but now it wasn't enough. Especially in a place where she was beyond out of her element. 

That evening, while she prepping for tomorrow's important meeting, Pearl knocked and entered the room. Slightly pleased to see her studying and memorizing all the information given. Shaking her head, Pearl cleared her throat and maintained her composure.

"Steven, has requested your presence in the dining hall for supper this evening." It was quite shocking to say the least, and a tad nerve wracking since the last time she saw him was when he took care of her headache. It was odd. One minute he was a tyrant, the next caring and then back to being cruel. Just that alone wasn't making sense and made her head spin just thinking about it.

"Why me? Why now?" She asked standing up from the vanity chair and mirror. Pearl only shrugged slightly whilst shaking her head.

"It's difficult to understand him and for now, better not to question so." Her statement made less sense about the whole situation. Still she had a point. Connie gulped remembering the deal with him. If she were to step out of line then more lives would be taken, their blood on her hands as well as his. Without another word she  followed Pearl to the dining hall. Her light green dress' skirt swaying slightly with every step she took. Stepping through the doors, she instantly felt the intensity in the air. There he was with his back facing them. He was lost in deep thought until he sensed there presence. Lifting his head up slightly he felt the warmth of her presence as it surrounded the entire room.

"As requested, Steven." Pearl spoke with her hands behind her, back straight. It reminded Connie of the way solders on earth would stand when called to at the word 'attention'. Her thoughts soon returned to the man standing before her as white butterflies swirled around her mind.

"Good, now please leave us alone." The words hit Connie like a fist punching her gut. What was about to come made her uneasy. Both herself and Pearl looked at one another, Connie's eyes pleading for her not to leave, or at least not be very far. While Pearl's gaze was calm as if to say she was alright. Leaving the room with a gentle sound of the huge double doors shutting close. Connie stayed in place not knowing what to do.

"M-My Diamond" her voice squeaked(which she hated) whilst saluting and bowing slightly. A deep chuckle soon turned into a roaring laugh. the sound surprised her enough to jump a tad a the outburst. Steven breathed in deeply to stop himself as he placed a hand over his chest.

"The Diamonds are not around. You may address me as Steven, in fact I insist upon it." Slowly but surely Steven turned his attention towards her. His gaze a tad less intimidating than before. Stepping closer till he was two feet away. Extending his leather black gloved hand. "Come" Hesitantly she raised her's, trying hard to hide her trembling and failing at the same time. Her gaze held into his outstretched hand until the soft and gentle tone of his next word surprised and compelled her. "Please" instinctively their eyes' matched one another's, only this time his was less intimidating and more inviting; Her's still confusing as ever. 

Finally she accepted, feeling his grip wrap around hers as he lead them both towards the table. Decorated in candelabras, and a vast array of fancy food. The scent intoxicating as she felt her hunger grow. He lead her towards the chair in a corner position right next to the head seat, which she assumed was his. Once they both sat down, Steven gestured for her to dine on the food set before her. After a long moment she began eating, it was her first official meal  since arriving on the planet. Not feeling really hungry other than a few scraps she found from the kitchen. With her predicament, no one could really blame her for not wanting to eat.

Steven watched her as they ate in silence, her hair had fallen to the side of her face that sort of hid her from him. It was surprising, knowing himself. He basked in her natural beauty for a moment. Causing him to slow down and almost stop eating himself. But he was part Diamond, long periods without food was normal for him. However she needed to eat, and he needed to make sure she had the strength to deal with the Diamonds. On instinct he reached out brushed away her hair tucked behind her ear gently. Feeling her jump at his sudden touch.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asked watching her look upon him since they sat down.

"I'd be a fool not to be." Her reply was honest without having to say the actual word yes. "If I may" Connie began "Why don't you use other titles?" She waited till he gave a slight nod for her to continue. The look on his face puzzling as his right brow slightly raised up. "You've made it clear you don't like being called-... well you know." Carefully avoiding the phrase as best she could. "But why not any other formal titles?"

"I would rather have others address me without hiding behind formalities. Especially if one chooses to defy me, I want to hear them say my name." It was almost like he didn't want to be mistaken for anyone else other than himself. "I'm sure you have more questions... I suggest you choose your next one a bit wisely." Connie gulped and nodded her head. Her next said question was one that she had since Pearl informed her of this situation right before. Wanting to know why he needed to see her. Putting her fork down on her plate and her hands folded together on her lap. Focusing all her attention on him.

"There must be a reason you wanted me here."

"You must regain your strength. I cannot allow you to falter from lack of nourishment in front of the Diamonds tomorrow evening. Besides the complete humiliation, you won't be able to hold up your end of the deal." Steven spoke whilst grabbing a glass full of red wine, taking a sip.

"And why do you care?" Her voice low and full of annoyance. "I would suffer the most, yes, but I don't see how this affects you."

"There is not enjoyment if all I can do is easily win, I prefer a challenge after all. Besides you are to be a apart of my royal court. Whatever happens to you doesn't reflect well on me." He paused for a moment smirking "Not that it matters to me personally." He chuckled slightly as she gazed downwards yet again. It was simple, she was a pawn in his sick, twisted games and nothing more. It pained her heart deeply though she couldn't understand why. "Don't fret my dear, I am only wanting to make sure you're alright."

Once more taking her hand in his, bringing it to his lips as he placed a gentle kiss, careful in not wanting his mask to touch her. Looking back towards him, his eyes watched hers the entire time. Setting his hand down while not letting go of hers, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. The sensation oddly calmed her, yet making her inhale inwardly.

His eyes now held a depth she never saw before; it was calm, inviting, and intense in a way that she didn't shake with fear. Steven gazed into her eyes, almost getting lost in them himself. 'Snap out of it!' his inner voice shouted before he blinked and soon let go, clearing his throat slightly before instantly regaining his composure.

"Tomorrow you will accompany myself and Pearl to meet with the Diamonds to discuss matters about earth. Are you fully prepared?" Connie nodded slowly still coming out of the brief moment that had just occurred.

"Yes, Steven, I am prepared." The next day was going to be intense for her, the cruelest thing he could've done was not say anything more than what he already warned her about. She would soon see the depth of how truly horrid they were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following day, Lapis spent the hours preceding the upcoming Diamond meeting getting Connie to look presentable. A long soak in the bath making sure her skin was clean, light amount of makeup, hair done in braid adorned with jewels and a few curled locks that framed her face. And an outfit that the material it was made from was almost uncomfortable to move in. The corset underneath was no help.

The color a deep blood red dress, off the shoulders with long sleeves coming to a point against the back of her hand. The outer regal layer of the sleeves almost touched the ground. The neckline a cross between a low swoop and a sweetheart design. Both front and back. The belt had a Diamond design, and golden, all over it as it wrapped around her lower waist; while it tied to one spot and letting it drop all down her skirt towards the floor. The skirt itself gave her maneuver to walk around effortlessly but the length(hemline on the neckline and bottom skirt were black) was almost impossible to ignore. Her shoes resembled ballet flats as the color scheme matched her dress.

Though attending as nothing more than a servant, she was still supposed to look presentable. She was about to meet the Diamonds in person. Lapis could sense her nerves as she placed a black laced choker with A red pendant in the middle and three red diamond shaped jewels dangling in the front.

"You look beautiful, Connie." Lapis stated with a smile looking at their reflections in the mirror. Connie weakly smiled back weakly, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Though she had every rule and etiquette mesmerized by heart backwards and forwards, it was hard to stop from her heart beating wildly.

"Lapis is right!" a voice which belonged to a certain Peridot exclaimed as she and Bismuth entered the room. A box wrapped in a bow in hand. Connie smile widened as they handed it to her.

"We wanted to give this to you before you headed out." Bismuth said with a proud gleam in her eyes. Connie adjusting her grip began to unwrap the bow.

"Oh you don't need to do that. It's just a box lid made too look like it's been carefully wrapped." Peridot said before getting elbowed in the gut by a glaring rainbow haired gem. "Ow-Hey! She would've found out anyway!" Connie began to laugh and the rest of them followed in suit. Opening the box she gasped and was surprised to see an almost mystical like journal, quill pen and ink. It wasn't advanced compared to gem tech. But for Connie it was perfect.

"We all thought it would be nice for you to have something more...traditional. At least for when you have free time." Bismuth explained as Peridot went into telling her how they made it and where the quill feather came from, and not to get her even started on how long the ink took to make. Which earned another elbow in the gut. It brought tears to her eye briefly before blinking them away.

"Thank you, I am truly lucky to have friends like you. I hope one day I can return you're kindness."

"We'll just say you owe us one." And that statement earning a third punch in the gut.

Pearl came to fetch her soon after. Herself dressed a tad more formal than usual with her cape flaring in a more Diamond shape. Bringing Connie to the launch pad where they we're greeted by Steven, dressed in a black suit with a red shirt underneath, his blood stained black cloak with a gold chain attached this time and more leather like black gloves. A dark pinkish red cravat accentuated his jacket and his silver mask a bit more polished than normal.

Upon seeing Connie, his eyes widened. The dress she was wearing revealed how beautiful she truly was. As she entered the room, nobody could tell she was a few days ago just carrying herself like an earthling. Revealing the true young woman, kept hidden from even himself, she now presented herself like a gem. Perfect and radiant. In his eyes rivaling even the elegance of the Diamonds themselves. Closing his eyes briefly, maintaining himself yet again.

"There is no turning back, from now on you are a member of my court. Temporary or not, do you understand my dear?" Connie nodded mentally preparing herself for what was ahead.

"Yes" Soon they were on the warp pad ready to transport to the grand Diamond palace. Steven held out his arm towards a slightly confused Connie.

"Unless you want to arrive at the grand entrance landing flat on your face, I would suggest you hold on tight." She complied without hesitation. Once he felt her tight grip, he looked at Pearl with a nod as they were ready. In a flash of light and the feeling of being elevated off the ground they were off and within moments, stood before a grand Palace. Had it not been for his insistence, she would be laying on the ground in pain. Connie breathed in sharply for a moment, gasping at it's exquisite beauty that captured her eyes. Then remembering where she was brushed herself off and tried to maintain a regal state.

“I suggest you be a bit more careful next time." He spoke coldly.

As they began walking, Connie noticed Steven still had her arm tightly around his, with no intention of letting her go anytime soon.

[shivercloud]

Love that grows part 1 Loki x reader

Warnings: fluff, sadness, grudge-holding, heavily pregnant reader, cussing, takes place during Thor Ragnarok

You are [Name] [F/N]'sdottir and Heimdall's niece as well as a new generation Valkyrie, just not a soul knows just your Uncle Heimdall who raised you as his own child when your parents died during a battle.

You wake up in bed your back to your love Loki Laufeyson Angrily. You recently hadn't been getting along with him you just never let the pent up anger out and it was sometimes sneaking out but you tried your best to hold in your anger since he usually saw you as calm and happy and you were pregnant with his child for 8 and a half months you were also engaged to him you knew you needed to let your pent up anger with him out but you just couldn't you didn't want to ruin your relationship. You knew that once you got married to him it would just cause issues, but you just couldn't.

Loki sits up and says "I have to go [Name], I will see you later" you just nod curtly and he says "you can always come with" you still say nothing he sighs at your no response. Loki says to you "you seriously can't be mad at me" you only answer by glaring at him and he sighs he says "well, I may as well go, but also I need to put the illusion on you" you sighed but nodded curtly you knew that if you said one word to him you'd end up exploding. He casts the illusion onto you that makes sure only he can see your large stomach.

He transforms himself into Odin after and Damn you hated that he was pretending to be Odin it was pure torcher and did nothing but put you into despair and somehow you still loved Loki and were loyal to him.

You sat up in bed and groaned in frustration and right then you felt the baby give you a large and painful kick so you hissed in pain "Ouch!" You climbed out of bed changing into something random being a green dress that was perfect for your round belly it was simple but comfortable and actually fit you. The baby kept on kicking you violently and some reason grew cold which was weird the baby only did that when there was danger nearby or oncoming danger. Which was one of your many abilities just you didn't get cold but the baby was jotun so it made sense. so you looked around and outside your window but there was absolutely nothing so you kept your furnished dagger with you keeping your guard up and left to go and join Loki well 'Odin' in watching theatre.

When you got there you sat near him and you felt like ice because the baby was still emitting cold so you elbowed 'Odin' still not wanting to talk to him he snaps his head and asks annoyed "what? What Is it?" You hissed as the baby kicked "Ouch!" You put Loki disguised as Odin's hand on your stomach seething out quietly "That!" He takes the hand off of your stomach almost right away and says "The baby senses oncoming danger, just don't let your guard down" you groaned at how little he paid attention to the baby and that you felt like ice because of it he seemed not to care at all which made you even more angry with him.

You sat there eating Loki's bowl of grapes and when the actor of Thor said something about Loki turning Thor into a frog you heard 'Odin' say "indeed it was" you continued to watch the play in boredom and looked at the statue he had up and it brought nothing but more anger you told him not to put it up but did he listen fuck no, you even told him it would blow his cover, but still he refused to listen he acted as if you were just a leech and it pissed you off but somehow you still managed to turn the other cheek and look past that.

Soon you see Thor and you say"yes!" 'Odin' looks at you and asks"what is it?" You seethe out "nothing that concerns you," He says "ok, calm down" you reply snarkily but quietly "don't order me around!" You clamp your mouth shut before you make a big scene.

The play ends and 'Odin' stands up clapping and says "well done, well done!" Thor walks out from the crowd and says "Father?" 'Odin' mutters "oh, shit" he sips from his wine and says "my son Thor has returned, greetings my boy."

you smirk deviously and say "well, you're screwed" he replies "not if I can help it" you seeth in a whisper "he probably already knows it's you, he's stupid but not THAT stupid" he ignores you so you roll your eyes and sigh frustrated. You gasped when the baby kicked you so you cuss quietly "crap, stop that you little shit!" Thor says to 'Odin' "it's an interesting play, what's it called?" 'Odin' replies "the tragedy of loki of Asgard, the people wanted to commemorate him," Thor says "and indeed they should, I like the statue a lot better looking than when he was alive, a little less weasly, greasy maybe" you can hear 'Odin' scoff and you get a bit angry even if you were pissed with Loki who is disguised as Odin.

Thor raises the skull and asks "do you know what this is?" 'Odin' replies "ooh the skull of Surtur, a formidable weapon," Thor says "well, do me a favour lock this up in the vault so it doesn't turn into a giant monster and destroy the whole planet" he hands it over to a guard. 'Odin' stands up and hands his drink over to you and says "thank you dear" you roll your eyes since that was totally sarcastic. He asks Thor "so uhm back to Midgard for you is it?" You could tell he was really nervous.

Thor replies "nope, I've been having this reoccurring dream lately, every night I see Asgard fall into ruins," Loki still disguised as Odin says "it's just a silly dream, a sign of an overactive imagination" Thor replies "possibly and then I decide to go out there and investigate, and what do I find, the nine realms completely in chaos, enemies of Asgard plotting our demise, all while you Odin the protector of the nine realms sit here in your bathrobe eating grapes" Loki well 'Odin' replies "yes well it is best to respect our neighbours freedom" Thor replies "yes, the freedom to be massacred" he tosses Mjolnir and catches it and Loki well 'Odin' says "yes, well I've been rather busy myself."

Thor asks "watching theatre?" 'Odin' replies "well, security council, board meetings and-" Thor cuts him off "your really gonna make me do it?" 'Odin' asks "do what?" Thor throws Mjolnir into the distance and stands behind 'Odin' holding him by the neck and says "nothing will stop Mjolnir as it returns to my hand, not even your face" 'Odin' says "you've gone quite mad, you'll be executed for this!" Thor lowers his voice "see you on the other side, brother." You mutter to yourself seething "of course, I knew Thor was smarter than that, I warned him, but did he listen to me, oh heck no! My, he's an idiot!"

Loki finally drops the illusion when Mjolnir almost hits him and shouts "alright, I yield!" Thor throws him out the way making everyone gasp except you, you simply roll your eyes knowing this would happen Skurge comes running and says clearly out of breath "behold, Thor... Odinson" Loki cuts Skurge off by snapping his fingers and saying clearly pissed off "no, no" he turns to Skurge really pissed off holding one finger up "you had one job, just the one!" You somehow found it attractive when Loki was pissed it was cute (I tbh think Loki is adorable right then).

You just couldn't stay away, could you? Everything was fine without you. Asgard was prospering. You've ruined everything, ask them."

Thor walks toward Loki intimidating and asks Loki "Where's father? Did you kill him?" Loki says clearly nervous" you had what you wanted, you got the independence you asked for" Thor makes Loki fall onto the couch holding Mjolnir against his chest and you gave Loki a glare followed by an eye roll

Loki glanced at you with a pleading look but you turned your face the opposite direction and glared at him Loki finally answered Thor in a pained voice "ow, ow, ow, ok, I know exactly where he is."

=========later========

The three and a bit over half of you went to Midgard and were standing by a building being demolished and Loki says "I swear I left him right here" Thor asks "here on the sidewalk or the building that's being demolished, great planning" Loki says "how was I supposed to know, I can't see into the future, im, not a witch" Thor says "really, then why do you dress like one?" You laugh and Loki glares at you so you glare back and your comment "I could've down it though."

Loki asks you "then why didn't you?" You roll your eyes and seethe "because you don't seem to give a damn about me as well as you didn't ask because you're a greedy and greasy jackass, who doesn't give a fuck about someone other than himself like me and your-" your cut off by a bunch of girls coming over and saying to Thor "can we have a picture with you?" Thor replies "of course" Loki rolls his eyes and the girls say to Thor before they leave "sorry to hear that Jane dumped you" Thor says, "she didn't dump me, it was mutual dumping," a circle appears around Loki's feet and Thor asks him "what are you doing?" Loki replies "this, isn't me."

Soon Loki disappears and you exhale somewhat more relaxed especially from that outburst of anger just now, but you were still pissed off and wanted so much to slap Loki at the least Thor pokes at the paper with his 'umbrella' and whispers "Loki?" You pat Thor's back sarcastically and say with sarcasm "Thor, you genius, he can't turn into a piece of paper" Thor picks up the paper and reads it Thor asks "so why are you so mad at my brother now?" you reply "many, many reasons, what about you and Jane?" Thor avoids your question and says "let's just go."

++++++++++++later++++++++++

You and Thor go to the place and a weird sorcerer guy appears and says "Thor Odinson, [Name] [F/N]'sdottir" you're shocked as to how he knows your name he says to Thor "you can put down, the umbrella" Thor does so, you all appear in a new room, you don't listen to a thing but soon enough your both seated and the sorcerer gives Thor some tea and you some flavours water Thor says "I don't drink tea" the sorcerer gives Thor something else being beer and you remain the same so you say "I want some of that to."

He says in a whisper "really I don't think so not with the little one in you" your eyes widen and you ask "what? How do you? What?" He replies "I have ways" sooner or later you zone out and don't hear a word but alone soon enough the sorcerer gets a book, grabs a piece of Thor's hair, making Thor roll down the stairs which you can't help but snicker to.

Randomly a portal appears and Thor says "I guess I'll be needing my brother back" the sorcerer replies "oh, right" Loki appears to fall out of a portal and onto the floor he says angrily "I have been falling for thirty minutes!"

the sorcerer says "you can handle him from here" you knew that was a bad idea but did nothing Loki seethes out "Handle me? Who are you? You think you're some kind of sorcerer? Don't think for one minute, you second-rate–" the sorcerer says "all right, bye-bye" he sends you all through a portal of some kind.

You land in a grassy area on a mountaintop Odin was standing by the edge, Loki and Thor walk over, you stay back since this was a family matter Odin says to them "do you hear it, your mother calls me" Thor glared at Loki and said "Loki, stop it" Loki shook his head and Odin says "took me quite a while to break from your spell, Frigga would have been proud, [Name] come over" Loki looks shocked at the praise. You ask Odin hesitantly "but im not-" he gestures for you to go over, so you do.

Odin looks at the engagement ring on your hand that you forgot about Loki had proposed before you were even pregnant and says "[Name], Loki you have my blessing" you smile slightly the first time in a while your anger dissolves right then and Loki looks at you fondly and smiles slightly he lifts your hand and kisses it right where the ring is and Odin says more things that you didn't quite listen to you because you were happy he praised Loki and gave you both his blessing.

The only things you really heard were a few things about Ragnarok after that Odin had disappeared and turned into a bunch of sparkles of a sort of course after saying he loved all of you. Thor was clearly angry and clouded with grief since storm clouds started to appear and Loki told you "[Name] stay back, or behind me" you nodded and obeyed.

Thor said to Loki " This is your fault!" You were too far back to hear anything and suddenly a portal appeared and women wearing Loki's colours which pissed you off an made you want to kill her right there but you couldn't, you had you and Loki's child in you. The baby was freezing you inside and out you felt as if you were getting frostbite and started to shiver Loki noticed and looked worried as well as concerned so you shook your head shivering and whisper "just get rid of her and why the heck is she wearing your colours?!" He shrugs and doesn't look happy about it. But changes into his Asgardian clothes Thor as well and you say "hey, don't forget about me?" He nods and you get changed into your Asgardian clothes and exhale in relief "this feels so much better than those Midgardian clothes.

Thor says to the women "I'm Thor Odinson" she comments "you don't look like him" Loki says "can we come to an arrangement" she comments "you sound like him" she says "kneel" Loki looks taken aback and says "beg your pardon?" Hela takes out necro swords and says "kneel before your queen" Thor throws Mjolnir at her which ends up being a bad idea because Hela destroys Mjolnir sending you and Loki backward, Loki obviously didn't put much thought into it but yells "bring us back!"

Thor shouts "NO!" But it was too late you were all already picked up by the Bifrost, Loki throws a dagger at Hela but she avoids it and sends it to you and Loki knocking you out, you land in a pile of trash and when you get up your furious and snap at Loki "YOU IDIOT, YOU ASSHOLE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID?! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL AND NOW THIS CHILD IS GOING TO BE BORN IN A PLANET FULL OF TRASH!"

Loki gulps and suddenly you feel like you were dunked in ice-cold water over and over again you were short on air it felt so you gasped and said "crap!" Loki looked worried and ask "no, no your not in labour, are you?!" You shake your head and he puts his hand on your stomach feeling the coldness you felt frozen, he grabs the bottom part of your top half of the dress and asks "may I?" You nod weakly he lofts it and shoves the bottom of it down slightly and he looks in horror as he sees that you have a bunch of burns and asks worriedly "is the baby doing this to you?!" You nod weakly and he says "we shouldn't have kept the baby! I knew it was all bad idea! It's killing you inside and out!"

You black out and Loki catches you just in time you get colder and colder, soon your pulse drops and your breathing slows tears prick at Loki's eyes and he says "no, no, no [Name], no you can't die! [Name] please no... I can't live without you, you mean the world to me! I need you... And our child, please..."

Loki shakes you and says "[Name]... Wake up, stay with me!" Loki sees the giant and weird building thinking I'll be able to heal [Name], there, it's not safe here.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::time skip:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

You woke up and were engulfed in a tight embrace and looked to see Loki hugging him back, he kissed your cheek which surprised you and he knew it did so he asks "what's wrong?" You reply"its just that, you haven't exactly shown me ANY affection, for about a year or so, you haven't really given a shit about me for years or a year" Loki pulls you into his chest and says "I'm sorry about that" you reply "Loki, its fine" he replies "no it isn't and I know it."

You felt like you weren't carrying any extra weight so you say worriedly "NO, NO, WHERE IS THE BABY?!" Loki stops hugging you and says "calm down" he puts a hand on your stomach and says "right there, the baby is healthy and doing good" you sigh in relief and ask "where the heck are we though?" Loki replies "a place called Sakaar, its owned by a lunatic called 'the Grandmaster' he's an idiot, it was really easy to get in here," you ask "what did you have to do?"

Loki replies "well, I can persuade people you know and deceive them it was really easy, so almost nothing, just my persuasion" you reply "good, because I was thinking you'd try to kill him or threaten to" Loki chuckles "oh no, I wouldn't go that far right off the bat, besides I can lie my way out if I want to" you pull Loki into a hug and he wraps his arms around you tightly in a loving embrace, you kiss his cheek.

You stop hugging Loki and get up but he forces you back down and says "no, you need to rest, I've only just healed, your frostbite," you say "Loki, DONT order me around, you know I hate it and I can have a short temper and that'll just make me angry again, I don't mind it in bed but not otherwise" he smirks and says in that silky voice you loved "I know you do, my sweet" you giggle and say "stop, that Loki!"

He chuckles "alright I'll stop" you give Loki a peck on the lips and he smiles "I was so worried that you wouldn't live, never do that again, ok?" You reply "I won't don't worry and I didn't mean to worry you" Loki replies "I know but you did" you lift your top slightly and your eyes widen "it's completely healed" Loki replies "that's because I healed you to the best of my ability," you ask "were, you here the whole time?" Loki replies "yes I was, I didn't want to leave your side, especially in an unfamiliar place and... I was worried about you and the baby."

You smile slightly "I guess you do care" Loki replies "I've always cared, I'm just a bit of a fool sometimes" you lift a brow "sometimes? And just a bit?" Loki replies "don't push it" you reply "ok" you put Loki's hand on your stomach and the baby moves against his touch he smiles and says "our, little gift" you smile and nod he kisses the top of your hand and you ask "when are we gonna tell Thor?" Loki shrugs "I guess if he's alive whenever we think it's the right time, or he'll just see it right away" you nod and Loki says "you know, we haven't actually started thinking of names for the baby."

You reply "no, we haven't," Loki asks "want to?" You reply "of, course I do if you do as well that is?" Loki replies "I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise"

[peacefulspock]

The Quodo Fic I'll Never Write

[[Alright, I'll post what I have then! It's pretty bare bones but I couldn't get the idea of Quark leading Odo on a galaxy wide goose chase out of my head. Thank you to @boomdeyadah for cleaning this up enough to share 😚]]

☆☆☆☆☆

Odo has been gone 5 years, and while he enjoys his time in the Link he never can quite stop thinking about his friends. In fact, the longer he's gone the more he worries what kind of mischief Quark in particular is getting up to.

His thoughts are too individual, can't truly harmonize with the Link. In an effort to stop the dissonance, the mass conscious redoubles it efforts to truly absorb Odo. He's almost wooed by the ease of it all until he realizes he's lost an entire 8 months to the Link’s latest effort. Time. It's the concept of time that truly and finally drags him out of the swirling, golden ocean of his people. He has all the time in the universe. Quark does not. Quark will grow old and die and he could miss it all if he lost himself to the Link.

"I'll just go visit. That's all. I'll keep an eye on Quark until he passes because somebody has to make sure he's not up to no good."

Just keeping everyone else's pockets safe and then he'll go home. The link would still be there after all.

So he goes, not wanting to acknowledge the relief he feels while docking at the station or the gentle warmth that settles over him at seeing Kira and his old friends. Until he gets the news and it’s like someone filled his old bucket with cold water and dumped it on his head. Quark is gone. Missing. Has been for over a year. And of course Quark would be so pleased to know that people looked for him. Extensively. Even a year later Rom and Kira are still regularly discussing any new clues to his whereabouts.

"I never thought I'd miss that little gremlin, Odo, but this station isn't half as fun without him. Don't tell him I said that when we finally find him, though."

Kira is sympathetic and Odo might be sick to his stomach if he had one. He tries not to think of Quark lying dead on some backwater planet in the wilderness, or curled up in some rotten back alley after a deal gone wrong. He'd probably just scammed someone big time and scuttled off to a random moon to enjoy his stolen riches.

It takes Odo a day to decide he's going to personally find Quark after some catching up with his friends and colleagues. It's all of three days before his nerves have him saying goodbye and shipping out at warp like a man on a mission.

"The quicker I get this over with, the better," he tells himself.

He's already read over the case file a dozen times, poured over every detail. He estimates it'll take him a week to find Quark. A week comes and goes. Then two. A month. Three months. It's six months before he gets a real break and boy is it a revelation. He's going through a small, barely lived in room on a no-name freighter light-years away from the station when it hits him. Quark had been here. Maybe for weeks. He'd been here and clearly caught wind of Odo barreling at him through space because he'd left in a hurry. The sheets were still wrinkled and a hastily scribbled note was left for him on a dingy table.

[[Go away, I didn't break any laws. Leave me alone. Don't you have anything better to do than harass me?]]

No, he doesn't. Quark really was on the run. From him. He doesn't want to see Odo at all. Odo  contemplates letting him go, albeit briefly. Quark probably has a reason for avoiding him. Something criminal no doubt. So he's going to try even harder to find him. He has to see him again at least once. Then he'll really go home, for sure. He was going to arrest Quark for whatever crime he had clearly committed and then leave.

Except, it takes two years to catch Quark. That's a long time to think about why you're still after a man that you've pretended to hate. Ample time to consider that all the evidence says Quark really HASN'T committed a crime and yet you’re still using it as an excuse. Too much time to ponder the unwanted ache his absence has left since the moment YOU left HIM on DS9 without so much as a goodbye. Two years is a long time for him realize he's let self-sabotage and uncertainty get in the way of what relatively little time he can get with Quark compared to his own long, indeterminate lifespan.

What has he done? What has he done? Visions of Quark walking away for good this time fill him with dread.

"Can I fix this?"

He's determined to try. Over the long months it becomes clear Quark is intentionally leaving him clues here or there so his trail never grows cold. Sometimes letting Odo get so close he swears he sees the flash of coattails out of the corner of his eye. He's not sure exactly why Quark is leading him on but it's all the hint he needs to keep searching.

Finally, FINALLY, the game of cat and mouse is over and he's got his eyes on Quark for the first time in almost a decade. They're on a remote planet in the middle of nowhere and there's a tension between them as heavy as the years Odo has wasted. He doesn't even get a word in before Quark is pushing him, face already warm with angry tears. He fires off questions and insults quick as a knife and Odo listens patiently.

"Who do you think you are?"

"It's been years, I said leave me be."

"Why can't you leave well enough alone?"

"I never wanted to see you again anyways."

Odo doesn't know what to say but he talks anyways.

"Why did you leave? I would have left you alone if you'd asked on the station."

It's not accusatory but Quark reacts like it is.

"You're one to talk about leaving! You walked away without looking back!"

It's true. Odo knows it's true and some piss poor apology isn't enough to fix it but he still gives one, still says everything he's been too afraid to say. Quark is all hissing and righteous anger until Odo cradles his face and quietly asks if they can try again. Because saying I love you was still too hard, too vulnerable but it was the TRUTH. Had been before he'd left, too, and leaving for the Link had been like a breakup even if neither had said so.

"I won't leave again. I promise. Who else is going to keep you on your toes? I'll even sign a contract if you want."

And THAT sounds suspiciously like marriage but Quark latches onto it anyways.

"Damn right you'll stay. I don't have the funds to keep running from you anyways."

It's not perfect, of course, but it's a start. That first kiss, desperate and clumsy as it is, really helps seal the deal. Since neither really HAS to be back on DS9 anytime soon, they're on the planet enjoying each other in peace another few months before Quark is itching to check on his bar.

Later, they're still the bickering old fools they've always been, but even a blind man could see the open fondness they have for one another. Quark never ends up making a contract but he likes to threaten to every chance he gets. Odo smiles a bit too warm while he says he doesn't recall agreeing to sign any contract, and holds Quark's hand a little too gently for the teasing to have any weight.

[rainbowglittr]

Senior Year: Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The song in this chapter is

Count on me by Bruno Mars

**************************************************

I yawned as I stepped downstairs. I was still in my pajamas heading to the bathroom.

"Happy Birthday Jaleia!"

My mom and my older sister Reece was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and eating pancakes and eggs. My other sister Karalyn, was at the stove making chocolate chip pancakes.

"Happy birthday!"

"Thank you." I said because having just woke up and smelling food I was still sort of confused.

"After you get dressed you can come down and get some birthday pancakes. Also remember, tonight we're going out for your birthday dinner."

"Okay. Thanks for everything." I said. I went to the bathroom and thirty minutes later I came downstairs-hair done, makeup done, everything did. I even had a birthday tiara, because lets be real I'm a QUEEN. Plus you only have one birthday a year, and, you only have one 17th birthday so might as well TURN UP! Just saying. But whatever. Soon after I had breakfast I got to open some presents-WHOOP WHOOP! So far I got a gift card to starbucks, Two birthday cards and a pair of jeans. Then I had to rush out to get to school on time. I grabbed my bookbag and my cupcakes and said good bye to my mom and my sisters. When I got outside Tyler was pulling up to my house. I walked up to the car before I could open the door he jumped out and ran to my side of the car. Tyler had gotten his license during the summer and occasionally my mom let my friends drive me to school. Not that often, like rarely but still a few times.

"Happy Birthday, your majesty." he said bowing as he opened the door.

"Shut up" I said as I got into his pathfinder. I had to squirm a little to get comfortable, because of all the stuff in my hands. I can't believe another year has gone by.

"Since it's your day and all I guess I can let you pick music this morning. Choose carefully this may never happen again!" Said Tyler.

"I know exactly what we're listening to." I said getting my phone out.

"Oh God!"

************************

"I swear the longest ride to school of my life!!!"

"You are such a drama queen!"

"You made me listen to One Direction for twenty minutes! That was painful!"

"Can you honestly say that you didn't see that coming? Honestly?"

Me and Tyler were in the cafeteria waiting for the rest of our friends to come down. He wouldn't shut up about how "torturous" the ride to school was because I made him listen to One Direction the whole ride to school. Pretty soon we spotted our friends and when they got to our table they shouted "happy birthday!!!"

"Why thank you! I have cupcakes for you!" I said pulling out of a container my beautiful cupcakes.

"We have something for you as well," Said Jesse reaching out of his bookbag, pulling out a cute and sparkly little gift bag.

"It's from all of us." said Kiara.

"Awwww, you guys are so sweet. Whatcha get me?" I said bouncing and down.

"Open and see." Said Tyler. I opened bag and the first thing I saw was tissue paper and a card, so I pulled the card out and started to read it:

Happy Birthday

To one of sweetest funniest awesomest girls ever.

We love you and we think you are the greatest.

You can always count on us!

Love...... and then everyone signed below.

"Awww come here guys. I can't even!!" I fake cried as I stood up to hug everyone. When I gave Jesse a hug he whispered into my ear, "I have a special performance for you."

I smiled and said "can't wait." I looked up and saw Tyler looking funny. I turned around and saw Mariah waking over to our table. Even though I'm in a great mood because of my birthday, didn't mean I want to deal with her.

"Happy Birthday Jaleia! You look gorgeous!" She said. Tyler started looking at me with a "well say something nice" look.

"Thank you, that's very nice of you." I say, if she's gonna be nice, I'll find it in my heart to be nice.

"I got you something for your birthday too." She said smiling and flipping her hair/weave, and handed me the pink bag.

"Thanks you really didn't have to." I said surprised.

"Well I just wanted to get you a little something, because I know we haven't gotten on the best in the past. I just wanted us to restart." She said smiling at me. She kinda did seem sincere. I was shocked. I still didn't completely trust her, but I couldn't be mean.

"Thanks, consider this a restart then, I guess." I said still really surprised. She gave me a hug which I awkwardly returned. She pressured me to open her gift immediately while she sat on Tyler's lap, beaming at me. Tyler looked happy, I guess that was me and Mariah's first conversation without insulting each other. I opened her gift and it was a sparkly silver charm bracelet. It was actually pretty. I put it on as Mariah squealed and bounced in Tyler's lap..

"It's honestly really pretty Mariah, thank you."

"Tyler helped pick it out because I didn't know what you liked." She replied giving him a kiss.

"Thanks to both of you then." I said. Me and Kiara exchanged surprised looks.

I finished opening the gifts from the first bag, there was a mini teddy bear, that had a locket necklace that had a group picture of us all on one side and an inscription on the other that said : "Count on me, and I'll be there" around it's neck.

I thanked everyone and gave everyone a hug all over again. I really did have the best friends on the planet. We all sat around eating my (amazingly delicious) cupcakes and talking about random stuff. Most of them involving me and Tyler's shenanigans, man did we have tons of stories! Jesse pulled out his guitar, which somehow I didn't even notice. He turned to me and said, "I wrote this with Kiara and Tyler's help for you and hopefully it will make the inscription make more sense. Here we go."

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,

I'll sail the world to find you

If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,

I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of

When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3

I'll be there

And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2

And you'll be there

Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooh, Wooooh

yeah Yeah

If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep

I'll sing a song

beside you

And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me

Everyday I will

remind you

Ohh

Find out what we're made of

When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3

I'll be there

And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2

You'll be there

Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooh, Wooooh

Yeah Yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry

I'll never let go

Never say goodbye

You can count on me like 1 2 3

I'll be there

And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2

You'll be there

Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooh, Wooooh

you can count on me cos' I can count on you

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't beaming with happiness by the end. His voice was so beautiful, it was smooth and sweet with just the right amount of emotion. It was absolutely AMAZING. We all clapped for him and I gave him another hug. He wished happy birthday again and I thanked him.

"It was absolutely beautiful, Jesse." I told him.

"Just like you."He said. The bell rang and I had to hurry to gather my things. Tyler stayed behind to help me.

"So did we do alright?" He asked.

"Perfect, best birthday I could ever ask for. Loved it."

"And Mariah?" He looked at me hopefully.

"Was very sweet and nice."

"So you don't hate her? No hard feelings?"

"None at all. Let's move it before your highness is royally late."

"Yes, your highness."

********************************************************************************************************

I stepped out finally free from school's  grasp. Me and Jesse walked side by side when suddenly I saw a familiar little face running towards us.

"Jesse!" she called. It was Jesse's 5 year old little sister, Diana. She looked like a mini jesse. They both had the same milk chocolate brown skin, light brown eyes, and beautiful smile.

"Hi Princess Diana." He said as he picked her up. Ever since Diana found out that there was a real princess named Diana she wanted everyone to call her that. She started to cough.

"You okay?" he asked and she nodded her head. "Be careful you're still kind of sick."

"Okay prince Jesse but I feel all better now!"

"How was your day beautiful? Where's mom?"

"Mommy waiting in the car but she said I could run to you. I went to mommy's office today and I had fun. I playeded with her paper clippers. I made bracelets and necklaces. I made one for you!" she smiled and handed him one. She was covered in paper clip bracelets and necklaces.

"Sounds like fun. This is so pretty I'm to put it on right now! Did you say hi and happy birthday to Jaleia?" he said. Diana's eyes lit up and she reached towards me with grabby hands. I took her for Jesse.

"LEELA! our birthday? You look like a princess you look pretty just like Jesse always says." She said excitedly as she eyed my crown and put her hands all over it. She couldn't properly pronounce my name silo she always called me Leela instead.

"Oh really? What else does Jesse say?" I asked while Jesse was putting something in his backpack.

"He says that you're very nice and that you're going to be-"

"Hey Diana let's not leave mom waiting too long in the car okay? Say by to Jaleia now." Jesse interrupted. His face was definitely red now.

"Bye Lila!" she said as Jesse took her from my arms and put her on the ground.

"Bye princess Diana Bye Jesse." I said. And waved.

"Bye Jaleia." Said Jesse. Just before they walked away I thought of something...

"Wait Diana! Since we are both princesses, would you like to wear my crown?" I asked her. She squealed and started jumping up and down.

"Jaleia you don't have to, and you do realize you'd never get that back?" Jesse said.

"I know but she likes it I'm not gonna need it again so it's okay. And if I ever do need it again I'll get my royal knights to pick it up."

"If you're sure..."

"Yup, Diana comes here so I can crown you properly." I said in a serious voice. She hurried over to me. I bent down on one knee, took off my crown and said "I hereby declare by the giving of this crown that Princess Diana is a true and very beautiful princess, from my head to yours, I give thee my crown." I said all ceremoniously. I put the crown on her head. She threw her arms around my neck and screamed "thank you thank you thank you!" she ran over to Jesse where he stood smiling. "See Brother I  real princess now."

"I see I see. Come on, we can't make mom wait much longer. I bet she is going to love your crown" he said as he winked at me. They walked away hand in hand. I laughed. Diana was so cute and he was honestly the best older brother ever.

*********************************************

It was eleven thirty when I got home from the birthday dinner I had with my family. It was really nice, we talked, we ate, we laughed and had a great time. My parents are divorced, so it was nice to have the family out as one again. When I finally laid down on my bed I smiled. I had a really amazing day, how many people can say they are as lucky as me? I can't even wait for the dance.

[justlurkingintheshadows]

The true evil of RWBY

We all know Salem is meant to be the big bad and Ozpin (who we now know as Ozma but will be referred to as Oz to make like easier) is the one meant to be the good guy, tasked with destroying her, however I find him to be questionable, in fact volume 5 kept lowering my opinion of him ever further. My friend and I like to roleplay and make more of a character out of characters, you'd expect us to have Oz as a good guy and Salem as a bad guy but actually it's quite the opposite, Salem is generally our favourite character, she's a fierce beauty and we know barely anything about her (or at least before V6 we knew nothing but hooray for lore) we've come up with our own headcanons, we usually see her as a fair boss or loving mom, and Ozpin barely has a second thought, maybe sometimes we've thought of him as an ex love, or the opposite side to her but really we don't think about him much, reason being because we don't particularly like him, don't get me wrong he has a great character but like I said, I find him questionable and I'll tell you why in just a moment. Chapter 3 of Volume 6 showed us exactly what happened over a thousand years ago with the Gods of Light and Darkness and Salem and Ozma and answered a lot of our questions, but it got me thinking about who the real villian is, of course it's Salem but when you break down the four characters you begin to realise it's not all black and white...

The Gods

So we finally got to meet the brothers we've heard of only in stories by a campfire. The God of Light (GoL) and the God of Darkness (GoD) are two new interesting characters we had the misfortune of meeting, and yes it is misfortune. Good ol' GoL denied Salem of her love, refusing to bring him back, that's fair, and GoD brought him back but later destroyed him when he found out he was Salem's second choice after his brother, that's also fair, except he brought him back without question in the first place, likely appreciating that someone actually came to see him (but I won't get into the precious GoD headcanon). For her actions Salem was cursed by GoL with immortality, and told she must learn the importance of life, and this turned out to be the biggest mistake he ever made and you'll see why in a bit.

Upon Salem's betrayal GoD destroys THE ENTIRE planet, instead of simply taking away all magic (Salem's too), or condemning Salem to external purgatory, or literally anything else, instead he just decides to effectively Thanos snap the entire planet because one bitch did a thing, thousands of completely innocent lives, gallant warriors, and dutiful worshippers gone in a second, and GoL just let's it happen like yep this is completely acceptable. I understand the idea was to punish Salem with a failure so big that there is no possible way she would ever be able to undo it but they still kept Salem there... With hope that she could change and see the importance of life... But if there is no life how can she learn it's importance...

And then there's the fact they just up and abandoned that entire planet, then destroyed the moon as a f*** you, because there was no need for that really.

If you thought the world was a lost cause why not wipe the slate clean and start anew, why would you ever trust humans to set aside their differences and unite themselves, humans are incapable I mean look at our Earth for example, there will always be something they find to cause conflict, and everyone will never get along, it's impossible, and how can there be any good without the bad to balance it, there was likely conflict even with the Gods there so what hope is there without them... Well actually I believe that hope was Oz and Salem...

Salem

Now sure Salem was an arrogant demanding bitch when Ozma died and she called the Gods monsters for taking him away from her again and again even though they were probably just trying to keep the natural balance of life and death in check, and I know she kinda rallied the humans to try to take down the Gods but really... It's not that bad. I know that sounds insane but hear me out, her punishment could have been a lot worse, and she could have found another way, I mean she could certainly take her time to come up with a plan that's for sure. She got punished with eternal life, now for some that would be a blessing, getting to live forever, never having to fear death, and of course watching everyone you've ever loved fade away around you as their lives come to an end and yours keeps on going... doesn't sound too fun actually... But this was her punishment for betraying the Gods, and she had to learn her lesson, learn the importance of life, you'd think with eternal life that would be a synch... WRONG, the worst thing you could ask of an immortal being is to learn about the importance of life, what does life mean to someone who never dies? It means that no matter what mortals will come and go but you will stay forever as you are, you're guaranteed to outlive anyone and everyone you meet, losing people constantly, it makes you bitter, so you isolate yourself to avoid getting attached and losing them as you know you will again and again, and you become detached, mortal beings have no place in your life because they can never match you, especially when you have magic and they have nothing, why should you care about them when you are in every way superior, you even control their deepest fears (since Salem is basically Queen Grimm thanks to GoD's Grimm pits), and Ozma's own curse makes learning her lesson even worse, he's the only person she loved, and he is cursed to die and be reborn, into a different body, the only death she would care about is his, and if he keeps coming back even as a different person death eventually doesn't bother her, Oz will always come back, and that's a constant so why should mortal death matter when it's not the person she loves. On top of that she is definitely affected by the Grimm desire to destroy things, so she can never be 100% held accountable for her actions after she fell into the pit.

But the biggest point is - Salem was right.

Her suggestion that they forget about the Gods and become their own Gods was sound, sure the gods helped them but it's not like people knew of that now, the Gods abandoned them when their experiment failed and left the saving of the planet to the guy who knew the person to spark all this... Oz and Salem were beings of infinite potential, one can never die, the other will always be ressurected, and both have magic, a thing which no one possesses anymore, following them would be wise, they could have led the humans to a new kind of salvation. Now of course destroying those who don't comply is a little extreme but if Oz talked to her then he could have let her see that there was no need, why force people to follow you when they'll do so of their own accord, and if they don't believe then that's their loss, it's not like they could actually DO anything about it... They couldn't take the two out, they'd always exist, and they have superior power and displayed mastery over using their gifts to destroy Grimm, seriously why wouldn't you want to join their side!

I'm not excusing things she did I'm just saying she was right, and things would be incredibly different in the present had Ozma just talked to her, which brings me smoothly over to him...

Ozma

The glorious Oz, originally Ozma, we know him best as Ozpin, and now as Ozcar, but of course based off the wizard of Oz who was at the end of the story a big fat fraud... Huh... his roots don't seem to really work in his favour...

"Blessed" by the God of Light to experience death in every form and to join with another's soul to be reborn in a cycle that will last for eternity. Really it's more of a curse, dying over and over and over and over and over again doesn't seem too fun, but boy did he come to learn the importance of life because surprise if you have to experience death and live in another's shoes you really start to appreciate what it means to live. No wonder Salem will never learn her lesson, the Gods didn't do her any favours... the same Gods who abandoned their people because their "experiment" failed... and left the saving of the entirety of mankind to one guy just because he knew the person who basically "caused" everything... Whom the Gods created by providing eternal life... because he died and she wanted back but the Gods wouldn't allow it... and their solution was to have her live forever and eventually bring him back to her anyway and have him always be reborn... Seems they contradict themselves too...

Anyway point being Oz didn't seem to have things in his favour from the start, and it only got worse from there...

Turns out Oz has ALWAYS had that issue about not telling people things, it seems his most constant flaw that even thousands of years of dying and taking host of a new body couldn't fix, I mean I understand him to an extent but right at the beginning he didn't tell Salem about GoL's conversation with him straight away, and when he did he kinda just left it at that and didn't talk any more about it... And Salem didn't even seem to really mind (her eyes white showing she was in control and chill), that is she didn't mind until he tried to leave with their kids (eyes turned black with Grimm anger) and the fact he had to have his weapon didn't help him - I'm still not excusing what Salem did though, but they both killed their kids, caught in the crossfire, fatalities of the destruction they both caused.

Before I skip to Ozpin and Ozcar I have a gentle reminder here for you, this revelation came to me when I saw a post about how Ozpin has made more mistakes than everyone combined and one being the fact he had sex with Salem... A Grimm Salem... Multiple times (the exact wording being "Putting my dick in /that/ for starters") however that appendage wasn't his own, you forget at that point he had been shoved into a random guys body and immediately took over and controlled his every action, we know he had barely any care for his vessel or "host" (if we want to start the whole Oz is a virus rant) at the beginning because Jinn tells us that after his fight with Salem he EVENTUALLY learned to live in harmony with the soul who's body he shared... after ruining the lives of a countless many... we also know or rather assume he only suppresses the other soul rather than takes over completely as learned from Ozcar (and potentially Ozpin too), which means there was a suppressed and confused other soul wondering what was going on and being forced to take a back seat watching Ozma do whatever he wanted in a body that didn't belong to him, I can't imagine him actually being ok with this random and extreme series of events, this man watched as Oz made a family with Salem without even a fleeting thought for the man's own family that he no doubt had... And then Oz got this man killed in an unnecessary battle... what a glorious hero...

Anyway grazing over the numerous lives Oz ruined and all the other sh!t he no doubt did that brings us to Ozpin, though we know fairly little we know enough to say that he has a bad habit of doing things like playing the pronoun game, providing half truths, and of course not telling anyone what they actually need to know - "You have silver eyes" yes she does... What about them? (Hype for getting that answer this volume) - he fails to inform people of what matters, preferring to leave that until later when people have already died (including himself, so he is now Ozcar) and people are desperate... Except oh wait sorry he doesn't even tell you then, he holds back mostly everything with the excuse that you don't need to know, and even when he 'tells you everything' you STILL find out he was holding something back... Classic Oz I guess

Now we're on Ozcar and you see that he has a second bad habit of taking over control forcefully, he hasn't learned harmony with the other soul at all, this given how he's lived for the past thousand or so years shows that he hasn't changed, sure he may be 'better' than he was before but he still very much has not changed. Even when he and Oscar apparently talked about that he took over anyway in an attempt to prevent people learning about something he didn't tell them (shocker) except this time the vessel fought back (something I doubt many if any have done before)

All in all he is an extremely questionable character with even more questionable motives.

But as much as it may seem like I'm dragging him through the dirt I won't deny the achievements he HAS managed, the academies for one major thing, it really helped out the world and there'd be a lot more fear and chaos had he not intervened in such a major way, doesn't explain why he likes to throw kids off of cliffs or any of that but still, I'm sure he has his reasons, don't expect him to tell you them though.

He truly has made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on the planet...

~~~~~~~~

When you really take a look at everything you begin to realise that the Gods kinda set them both up to fail, whether they knew it or not, imagine how different things would have been had a single thing gone differently, and how easily things could have changed

~~~~~~~~

And thus concludes this post, I hope I didn't miss anything (but if I did then oops)

Now I don't know about you but I would totally go up to Salem and tell her she was right, if Tyrian doesn't murder me the immediate second I show up, I've been leaning towards her side more and more since Oz pulled that sketchy move of controlling Oscar without permission (though I do realise death was a possibility it was still sketch) at least she doesn't build your hopes up only for you to discover they're lies, she seems like she'd tell you what's up. But that's just how I've committed think of her I suppose, she is an amazing and beautiful character, who we still don't know all too much about even with this lore... I really hope this means we get more backstories for more villians, I want to see a baby Tyrian.

But I digress.

[iamafictionfreak]

Well... SHIT!

I leave for a few hours and now have over 200 notes! Wow!

Hi!

Okay, okay lets looksie... *sweats*

@tobeornottotc - I know right? I've seen some incredible pieces of analysis - @luckydragon10 Read her posts, her reblogs and her fanfics! It's worth it.

@rinkitsune YOU. ARE. FAR. TOO. KIND

@antique-forvalaka - random thing, your profile name makes me think of food.

I fully expect to have Kinn dealing with a Porsche who starts to... not demand from him, never that, but they've had sex. Next comes feelings. So Porsche, as is his right, might be like 'hey, your an asshole (who I cant get enough of) and I don't have to put up with it. I have options.'

To which Kinn might respond with 'what options, I own you, I haven't done anything to hurt you (I so have, because I reveal the emotional range of pine tree despite feeling EVERYTHING on the planet and maintaining it in my own controlled space until YOU came along Porsche, bane of my existence), stop talking nonsense'

And then Kinn will 100% stalk him or something and catch him playing hooky with Vegas and will take it 180 degrees in the opposite direction which is probably how we'll end up at the argument of the century... and then they have sex.

*takes a breath*

Yes, they've really dug into their characterisations - in fact, they have even with minor characters. Even with how little we've seen of Ken I can tell you that he's probably one of the few straight characters on the show. He's very comfortable in his position and part of me is wondering why Big is the lead bodyguard and not Ken. He seems extremely capable and, in the right circumstances, lethal - but he's not very sharp with thinking outside of the box. Huh.

He might be too straight laced for a true sense of humour but how would we know? He doesn't take Porsche seriously because Porsche doesn't take Porsche seriously (not yet anyway). He wants Kinn's good opinion but not the way Big needs it.

Oh I want the 'permission' thing to be recurring between Kinn and Porsche. To be something secret and settled and eventually loving between them.

Porsche got into shape for two reasons: to make Kinn regret allowing his brother to take him and to protect Tankhoun who he's started to see as one of his buddies. He's familiar with him and being such a way allows Arm and Pol to be the same too. Pete's right there with them. Porsche's presence has brought this life to the place that, whilst obnoxious at a glance is also healthy, wholesome and needed.

He needed a purpose after looking after his brother for so long - Tankhoun is the perfect replacement for the time being. It's probably just hit him that Chay doesn't really need him the way he used to. Remember what he said to Kinn - his mother told him he couldn't die before Chay finished his degree - beyond being a peculiar thing to tell your child, in a couple of years Chay will graduate... then what will Porsche do? He's looking for new purpose but he doesn't know himself. He's relearning.

The fact that Kinn just let him tag along is a hilarious example of the double standards between how Kinn treats his bodyguards compared to how he treats Porsche.

Porsche wanting in on some action, only to regret it? That's something that will worry Kinn in the future - can Porsche take being in a relationship with Kinn what with everything that comes with it?

I think you'll find he will but he needs to find his reason - it'll be any episode between 5 and 9 and the reason will probably centre around Kinn.

Porsche's body always came last on his list of priorities and he's about to meet the limits of his own neglect of himself.

Yeah @luckydragon10 blows me away (and makes me giggle) - there's been a lot of assuming with Porsche, yes. I think, in part, is was deliberate attempt to solidify how completely by himself he is. Or was. It's starting to change - he's making friends and developing feelings. But it's still skewed and unfair.

He'll get there. He needs to be able to stand on his own two feet, to be strong enough to give himself to a man who can't promise him the same back, to let Kinn support him and to be able to understand Kinn in turn. THEN he'll be murder to compete with. Like what he did with Big - Big unthinkingly insulted his boss by trying to humiliate Porsche and what does Porsche do? 'Jokes on you, I don't give a crap if he's gay, straight, an alien etc. Foresight won't help you dig yourself out of this grave.'

@luckydragon10 @autumnjoon no way, REALLY?? You will????? You have the ability (I sound so old)????? It's like Chinese whispers but it actually works.

;)

@day6andetcetera you really should - but if you can't stand waiting, maybe sit on it for a few weeks? For the episodes to build. I have no restraint so that's not an option for me.

@inhumanevoid yeesh - this too shall pass. Also, I really hope I haven't just waffled at everyone for.. how many pages..?

magooboo - BIG. Yes. I blame thee.

If I missed anyone, I apologise.

Kinnporsche - I'll be ruined by episode 14. Happily.

I can’t believe I just wrote this monster, but I need to talk about this. Please let me. Let me get it out of my head so I can breathe. Episode 4 was so SO good guys and I rambled, I do apologise - But before I touchdown into any rabbit holes, please read this and be free:

This. This is Be On Cloud showing us that the creators and actors understand the sensitive nature and importance of the issues revealed here, they know what they’re doing, and they aren’t going to brush it under a rug. Its respectful and responsible and mostly combats exactly what I imagine is going on with Porsche now and what may happen in the next episode.

There won’t be any shying away.

But let’s make it very clear:

KP is a grey zone drama.

Kinn is morally grey.

Porsche is morally grey.

The show will host a sea of morally defunct traditions dedicated to presenting just how bent any mafia syndicate can be, but let’s focus on this particular issue:

Vegas… violates Porsche. It doesn’t matter that he barely managed to touch Porsche, the intent was there, he was going to rape Porsche - especially after Porsche’s marvellous headbutt - and Porsche will remember how it felt to be defenceless. Porsche could even transfer full responsibility for this feeling to Kinn who was there to support him but ended up sleeping with him anyway.

Was it Kinn’s intention to take advantage? No. Kinn fully intended upon helping him. But his feelings – feelings he’d been determined to stamp on – pushed him to kiss the man. Porsche provided an opening and Kinn allowed himself to view it the way his body was being pulled to. Once they kissed, Kinn fell into what Porsche was offering with his open, intoxicated, arms.

Was Kinn right to do this? No. Am I saying Porsche asked for it? No. Am I saying it was completely fine and consensual? No. Am I saying there aren’t layers – beautifully encoded layers to this scene that explain why this happened? Nope, there definitely are. Porsche, despite not being in his right mind revealed something to me and now I finally get this.

Though the situation isn’t quite as bad as it could have been - Vegas raping Porsche - but don’t be surprised if Porsche feels betrayed when he wakes.

Just to recap: am I completely aware of the issues here? ABSOLUTELY. Did Kinn have sex with Porsche KNOWING Porsche was gone three ways to Sunday? YES. Will this be resolved? Heck Yes. That’s the point of showing it to begin with. Will there be worse things on this show? Inevitably. They won’t all revolve around KinnPorsche.

If you didn’t know before that this show is a grey zone, you freaking do now. If you find that this kind of content doesn’t interest you, please don’t watch it. It’s not going to change. It’s going to get worse – I’m fascinated, and I want to see how this all gets resolved and just how far down the moral grey zone it can go before it pushes full black. There are movies and series that fully encapsulates the mafia syndicate – this is fluffy in comparison. This is rainbows and care bears. The mafia are terrifying.

I also think that if you can appreciate Vegas’s character - for being sputum of the lowest order to compare goodness to - then you can comprehend, even whilst you vehemently disagree, Kinn’s mentality.

Vegas? I’m not a fan – I’m not supposed to be. He’s the villain. A true villain. Kinn is various shades of grey with black streaks intermingled and the odd slash of red. This guy’s all black streaks. Of all the characters, Vegas is the most deeply disturbed and I’m not just saying that for every word and action in episode four. It revolves around Kinn and the way Vegas is constantly emasculated by him: by Vegas being the in the second family and not the first, for Kinn being better at his job than Vegas, for being the rising head of the family whilst Vegas is just drifting, for being someone his father respects more than his own son and so on and so forth. This goes back YEARS – it must. Vegas hates Kinn. I don’t know if there’s a foundation for the hatred beyond diminished ego and entitlement, but he’s aiming at Kinn’s newly revealed weak spot.

Porsche.

Now… Kinn doesn’t have many, if any, weak spots. He doesn’t let himself. The man displayed some serious dominant alpha male tendencies in the latest episode that had me near fanning myself, whew boy. He doesn’t even kiss his escorts – I LOVE that btw. Love it. Kissing means something to him. It doesn’t for everyone. It does for Kinn.

Don’t you think, after being ordered to watch over Porsche by his father, that Vegas caught them kissing by the pier? Kinn, who he’d KNOW doesn’t kiss just anyone. Suddenly Vegas’s obsession is relit anew – he has a new way of getting to Kinn. Daddy dearest didn’t tell him to fuck with the middle son of the first family. This is all for Vegas and just to be sure, he pushes and pulls some buttons. Vegas is adept at that. For all the ways he fails in comparison to Kinn, he reads people as easily as he would open books.

And he sees exactly what Kinn was afraid would be revealed – Kinn treats Porsche differently to the other bodyguards. He enjoys Porsche’s mouthy tendencies and lets him get away with a lot in comparison. He’s already displaying possessiveness and that’s only going to get worse for Porsche. Kinn, who’s endeavoured to be Fort Knox, has revealed a chink in his armour.

Best way to push it? To mark it and lay claim on it before Kinn can. Kinn who’s also displayed remarkable patience with Porsche’s God-Tier obliviousness. It would absolutely KILL Kinn.

…If Vegas thinks this is the best way, I’d start questioning the escorts Kinn sleeps with. And any ex’s and oh’s. Did Vegas get to them too? Did he mark them where Kinn didn’t know and got off on Kinn not knowing?

Well, now he wants Kinn to know.

He just underestimates Kinn’s growing feelings for Porsche.

Don’t tell me that Kinn would cut short his speech and time at the auction that he was ordered to attend by his father for every bodyguard. Vegas doesn’t have the time to do what he wants. He has to get gone, frustrated and turned on and full of testosterone. There’s no way he’s going to leave Porsche alone now.

He just doesn’t know Kinn and Porsche have had sex – though he will very soon if he has an insider. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the insider is responsible for spreading the gossip of Kinn sleeping with his bodyguard.

(A note on the insider: I still say it’s Big. He dishes out info to Kim that he’s delusional in believing helps protect Kinn - from the new, nasty uncouth bodyguard with his perfect face, his perfect body and perfect penis - and if he can do it with one person, he can do it with another. Especially if it’s for himself, which… it is. Come on. The dudes in love with Kinn or something, he’s like the other side of Vegas’s coin.

Did he have anything to do with drugging Porsche? If so, Kinn’s going to kill him. God Speed. But if I’m correct, it won’t end there – he’s going to help hurt Porsche again and again until he loses sight of his original goal. And then he’ll lose everything.)

So yeah. Vegas. I like him as an antagonist – he makes my skin crawl. Look what he said to Porsche – I’ve never had to force anybody. As if, at the end of the day, everyone secretly wants to fuck him and be fucked by him. As if he weren’t about to destroy something in Porsche. And I like what he brings to the table – he’ll make Kinn loose it and stir up trouble in paradise, but I also don’t see that lasting more than a couple of episodes, so what ELSE is he going to do?

Yes. I’ve seen EVERYBODY refer to VegasPete – Jesus, how the hell does that happen? How are they going to do it to make us all accept sweet – extremely capable – Pete with a nutjob like Vegas?

See, I also want Vegas to burn.

Anyway, back to THE scene:

It helps that Porsche threw up. There is awareness there – he headbutted Vegas (ROUND OF APPLAUSE) because he knew exactly what was happening and he was scared. He didn’t want it.

Then Kinn arrives and Porsche… relaxes.

(AGAIN - I am in no way stating the sex was 100% consensual, that’s not what I’m doing and I’m not repeating that.

We good? We’re good.)

So, Porsche relaxes. Stops fighting. He can sense who’s with him, sense the safety here and I’ll get back to that too in a moment.

Then he throws up, his body rejecting the drug – that’s another good thing. A very good thing. It takes some of the fog away and it’s why he’s more verbose with Kinn later.

Verbose, hah. Porsche is veeeeeeeeeery forward. The drug does that so him happily grabbing Kinn’s dick when Kinn might not have wanted him to is more than forgivable, but the direction of his thoughts was the interesting thing.

It’s sort of devastating that Porsche seems to only channel his inner gay when he’s a) inebriated/under the influence and b) with Kinn. These seem to be the prerequisites.

What do drugs/alcohol do? They release us of our inhibitions and, generally, give us a bit of a lift. For a sad boy like Porsche, it would likely have a sharper affect than on most.

Porsche is nearly as tightly controlled as Kinn. Whether he’s aware of this or not, he’s suppressed the part of himself that yearns to just let go and it seems to be tied to his bisexuality. If he even is bi. Look at the things he’s said about women: they’re there for sex. They have a vagina; he has a penis. Key meet lock. Orgasm. But that’s all it is. Sure, the fact that they’re all gorgeous is a power trip for him, but he doesn’t associate the sex with feelings. Of any kind. It’s almost professional. So, he’s never considered a relationship before.

Yet, in episode three, he got drunk, turned into a 15-year-old boy with hearts in his eyes and dragged Kinn over to the pier for a little alone time. Where they kissed. It takes him a full day to remember - as if he shuts it out until it's 100% affirmed that Kinn is gay - and when he does, it isn’t shock he feels… instead he questions Pete if it could mean anything.

I don’t know about the book version – clearly the show is different from the book so I’m not going to try to wonder about those differences.

Porsche is more than accepting of homosexuality in the show, I just don’t think he’s seen the light yet in himself. A light that shines like the fucking sun whenever Kinn paid attention to him when he was under the influence.

So, basically, Porsche is gay for Kinn and only Kinn and only when he has an absolute freedom of inhibition.

And that’s fine – or it would be if it weren’t tied to the death of his parents.

See, we don’t all learn about our sexualities when we’re teenagers. For some of us it takes lifetimes.

Porsche lost his parents – I think he was 13.

Loosing his parents meant losing his safe place: where he could come home and be himself and explore himself and be free whilst his willingly parents took the responsibility that adulthood demands. Without them, he was forced to be the responsible one. To be the adult. To be restricted before he was ready.

Of course, his potential homosexuality would be put in a locked box and covered in heavy chains of duty, pushed somewhere deep down. Inevitably it would start to link up with his duty to his brother, his need for control, for purpose and the lack of love in his life.

Something about Kinn rattles those chains and threatens to turn the key in the lock.

Porsche gravitates towards Kinn whenever his inhibitions loosen.

In episode 1, they first meet after Porsche has gotten laid – endorphins released – and after he’s had a drink or two. The scene where he takes Kinn’s watch from him is charged to hell.

Episode 2, he deliberately gets drunk to subvert Kinn’s authority and takes pleasure in the reaction.

Episode 3, he gets drunk, hangs on Kinn’s back and arms, dances with him, pulls him away from the crowd, reveals vulnerabilities and kisses him back.

Episode 4, Porsche is drugged and spends the whole time talking about and touching Kinn’s dick, wanting Kinn to acknowledge his attraction to Porsche and basically finding the idea of Kinn’s attraction extremely fascinating.

You like me. I know you like me. I don’t know why you like me, but you like me.

It gives him a little control back whilst letting go of everything else.

Porsche spent episode 4 in a strange place of vulnerability. He doesn’t understand what he’s feeling but he knows Kinn’s attitude towards him is changing. He’s starting to think that Kinn sees him differently to everyone else and… it doesn’t feel bad. He doesn’t know what to do with that.

Of course, this is Porsche. Porsche has no idea that he thrives off of someone’s good opinion of him. Kinn thinking he’s doing a good job, Kinn allowing him free reign, Kinn spending time with him in the Onsen, Kinn kissing him when he heard the escort admit that Kinn never kisses anyone – it’s validation. From the Alpha himself. It’s heady. He wants more.

So, he tests it. He asks Kinn if Kinn would have asked his brother to hand Porsche back to Kinn.

And Kinn stomps down on any ideas Porsche has of Kinn’s regard for him.

The subtle hurt on Porsche’s face after that was sort of painful. From someone becoming so beautifully open with his unconscious need for Kinn’s affection.

If I’m not mistaken, they’re both already displaying Dom/Sub tendencies too – e.g. Kinn ordered him to stand, to strip, to do it NOW.

Porsche did.

He wouldn’t have weeks before, at least not without argument.

Porsche looks to Kinn when he’s offered water. WATER. And he asks Kinn with a look to see if it’s okay for him to drink it.

Kinn doesn’t get where Porsche is at here – he doesn’t understand what his dominant pheromones are doing to this poor guy, so he’s pretty much ‘why is he staring at me?’

FOR PERMISSION, YOU IDIOT.

Already Porsche trusts Kinn. Kinn is becoming a strange, alarming kind of stability for Porsche and he’s unconsciously gravitating towards him with each new development between them. It got worse after seeing Kinn with the escort (does the escort have a name?).

Subconsciously, Porsche wants Kinn.

So, when he gets drugged and he’s touching Kinn, teasing Kinn’s evident attraction towards him and basically egging Kinn on by kissing him and saying ‘this is the real deal – right here, not with your escort who you don’t kiss’, that’s the part of him that was abandoned when his parents died. The part completely untouched and uncultivated.

You can see it in his smile.

God, that SMILE. I don’t know how to create gifs; I’ve never taught myself and I regret it now because I can’t frigging find that smile on any gif posted about that gorgeous moment.

He might be high off his ass, but there’s real emotion there. Part of him was hurt when Kinn tried to convince him that he was like every other faceless bodyguard. Having Kinn go hard from his kiss confirmed Kinn’s attraction. You don’t go hard from every kiss given to you – just the one’s you feel more about at the right moment with the right person. Lust, love – whatever, it’s something. And he didn’t understand why Kinn would kiss him –he’s clueless, we know, but it doesn’t stop him for wanting to understand, because underneath the façade of the idiot who goes through life by the seat of his pants, Porsche really does want Kinn to want him.

So, when they have sex there’s this fucking beautiful, achingly sweet and happy smile on Porsche’s face. It’s right before Kinn turns him around to face the window. It’s pure freedom – the kind only Kinn seems to be able to bring out in him. It’s permission to exist in the moment. It’s feeling new things, it’s exploring what he hasn’t been able to before. It’s touching Kinn and being worshipped by the man, being wanted so thoroughly, being adored. Kinn’s all over him and Porsche is eating it up.

Oh, the next day might not be pleasant. But right there, for Porsche, it’s cloud 9.

Do you see the layers? In that one scene?

The other reason why I could watch that scene and not be conflicted about consent is because I know they’ll follow through with it. They kept it in the storyline for a reason.

Acknowledge it or don’t, it’s unavoidable now. Kinn kissed Porsche and lavished attention on his body in a way that’s very suggestive of where Kinn’s at emotionally. Porsche ate it up and couldn’t stop smiling. He won't jump up and scream rape in the morning no matter what our opinion is because that's not where he's at mentally.

He's going to be shaken, confused, conflicted, hurt and all over the place. He may even feel betrayed. He may tell Kinn that he took advantage and to go fuck himself.

Or maybe they’ll surprise us – maybe he’ll feel completely differently. They’ve surprised us with every episode so far and I’m thrilled with what we’ve received up to now. So, I have more than enough faith to not be worried about episode 5.

There first time was never going to happen under normal, wanted circumstances. Not on a show like this one. But they have another first time coming up: a time when no one is drugged or drunk or coerced, where real, honest feelings will be involved and where the sex will be had by two people who want each other.

This is the love scene. THE love scene. The first one where he and Kinn will be 100% in it, together, without any miscommunication, despite ongoing issues between them.

Or at least I HOPE they have because look at the raw emotion in their faces – that’s - there's a lot. There’s an apology on Kinn’s face but, correct me if I’m wrong, I see a lot of yearning and need and love there too. And Porsche looks so frustrated and wanting – like he hates that he wants Kinn but feels so deeply about him he can’t help himself. That’s just- it’s a lot. To take in, yep.

Also, did Porsche throw water at his head?

I mean, we’re screwed for now. Vegas isn’t done yet – give it a couple of episodes for Porsche to realise what a shit Vegas is (PLEASE REALISE WHAT A SHIT VEGAS IS) and Kinn won’t make it easy for him. He’ll step back from Porsche, even when he steps forward. Episode 4’s ruffled his feathers, spun him about and made him feel exposed. He left control at the door, which isn’t normal for him. There’s a chance that he’ll try to make Porsche feel… not small, but definitely not wanted. He’ll probably also go back and forth on that – he’ll be possessive one second, then cold as ice the next. He won’t know what to do. And that’s after knowing the repercussions of their night together.

Fuck.

I love it.

Why?

Because the show has proven to be very effective at connecting these dots and unearthing new ones.

The way Kinn was with Porsche probably connects to his past, connects to a side of Kinn that hasn’t been touched in a long time, just like the side he brings out in Porsche is reminiscent of a gay teenager desperate for someone to want and take care of him.

Vegas will most likely lure Porsche, try to get him to switch families. If Kinn does what I think he does – if he makes an ‘example’ out of Porsche to try to protect him from future attack - then Porsche might feel hurt enough to consider accepting.

I do truly hope Porsche sees Vegas for what he is sooner than later.

But, silver lining, we have a beautiful parallel in store for us. When they make love after the first real time, AFTER the above scene and after they’ve confessed that love and AFTER Vegas and after after AFTER… they’ll be face to face, it will be 100% consensual and Porsche will have willingly given himself to Kinn who will have willingly accepted Porsche right back.