#why is everything so BORING
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I think driving school could try being a little more interesting tbh. Hiring a clown or something to teach theory lessons idk. Make an effort break a leg guys
#why is everything so BORING#My GOD#it's simple but no fun which means my brain is like HAHA. NOPE#it also doesn't help that I'm trying a new adhd med which turned out to be weaker than my previous meds#and I have to wait until the end of the month to get my regular meds now#which........ by then I'll already have finished all my driving theory classes............#ig I'll just have to go over the stuff we learn in class again on my own whenever I have some spare time#which SUCKS. but anyway#I'll do what I can and try my best etc I just need to sigh and bang my head against the wall a little bit#sleep.txt#I tried taking more notes today while the teacher was talking which helped a little#I think I just need to find ways to keep my brain awake and interested#which is a challenge but. well. at least writing words and scribbling lines helps
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I am in pain, I am bored, I am on my heating pad someone send distraction
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I'm deadass so fucking bored there's nothing fun to do
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i took half a pill why am i not a different person
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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after jasons death bruce "accidentally" slips harvey a crowbar while hes in arkham and kisses his cheek and says, voice soft and colder than ice, "make him hurt for me honey"
it takes 6 guards to sedate and drag two face off the joker the next time two face sees him and for the rest of their lives as soon as harvey sees the joker he goes after him like a rabid dog.
#harvey voice: you know why im not killing you jokes? cause you can only die once and i want to hurt you so much more than i want to kill you#jason was harveys baby too after all#spent my entire boring work meeting thinking about how robin!jason bruharvey would end in the joker dying no matter what bc of two face#this is all bruciemilfs fault btw. theyve been making me insane about bruharvey#bruce wayne#harvey dent#two face#also bruce doesnt tell harvey to kill or not kill the joker bc he cant request someones death#but he also cant make himself ask for his sons murderer to be spared#i dont think any version of bruce would be comfortable with openly planning someones death let alone actually doing it#but after jasons death he gets so cold and numb to everything that he just turns away from it#he knows hes being too violent.knows hes hurting people too much but the only time hes not remembering how small jasons body was in his arms#is when his blood is roaring in his ears during a fight. maybe if he becomes the worst monster in gothams shadows#no more little boys will go cold and silent. no more fathers will stand in the doorway of rooms that will never be full again
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i straight up do not believe that odysseus did everything he did to get back to penelope and telemakhos. or even that he did everything he could. wanting to return to them is not the whole story. i like the myth about odysseus pretending to be mad to get out of the war for lots of reasons, but one of them is because it's an attempt to escape the narrative, foiled by his love for his son, but also because there is contrast to what we know of him long after the narrative has sucked him back in. odysseus is no less kleospilled than anyone else! he fights for his pride; he makes mistakes; he gets worn down; he delays his homecoming, in ways that are and aren't his fault, all the time. he wants to go home. he doesn't just want to go home.
but he does try. by leaving ogygia he willingly goes back into the narrative one more time, and he never gives up until he finally returns. isn't that compelling enough? do we have to sand it down?
#this is a slightly worse version of a post i've already made. sorry#'everything i did was to come home to you' he would not fucking say that. unless he were lying i guess.#and that would be a very obvious (and boring!) lie. i think penelope would see through it. so why bother?#anna.txt#a tag for bitching
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potentially hot take but this is a pet peeve of mine
#listen. anyone can write whatever they want and idc I don’t have to engage with it. all power to them!!!!#it’s not even an automatic click-off for me or anything#i just… why. I don’t get it#like… that’s literally one of THE most iconic traits of the entire character. of the entire concept of the SHOW even#and you’re just gonna??? get rid of it??? hello????? the entire basis that John and Arthur’s relationship is made from????????#really????????? possibly the most tender part of their relationship???????#you don’t wanna write fluff about John reading him books and describing things and guiding him????? really?????????#it’s just so boring to me. I don’t understand the appeal#like yeah obviously Arthur as himself would definitely prefer to get his sight back#but as a concept like….#something ab the whole ‘happy ending = the disabled character gets ‘fixed’’ thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth#why do u have to fix them. why cant they just be disabled. do you think people can’t be happy and be disabled???#idk maybe it’s not that deep. and still I don’t really care that much#it’s just the vibes. I don’t vibe with it.#and I’m sure there’s some actual annoying as hell discourse in the fandom ab it which I have zero interest in engaging in#but I had to have my little petty bitch moment#bc blind Arthur is everything to me. ESPECIALLY in a jarthur context.#anyways thank u for coming to my Ted talk#malevolent#arthur lester#if anyone wants me to tag this as smth Iemme know
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something i’ve never seen covered: flowey after neutral runs.
let’s say you do a pacifist run, spare flowey, and then just do not reset. you still hold the save file. before, you had the save file, yeah, but you were there and you were interesting. now he has nothing. yes, some dialogue is bound to change, but eventually he’s going to end up bored. and here’s where it gets interesting.
suddenly he has to live life in a linear fashion. no more going back. and i can see him being incredibly paranoid about every choice ever. he can’t go back! what if he does something to change the story irreversibly? so he starts gradually shutting himself off from everyone. more than before, i mean. he can’t even watch people; what if he’s spotted? he doesn’t know where people will be! so he ends up completely isolated from everyone; lonely, unstable, etc. papyrus is wondering where he is but he can’t just talk to him! what if he messes up, what if he reveals too much, what if he says something wrong and papyrus hates him, what if. he can’t interact with anyone. ever.
or.
or he swallows his fears. he’s a being of curiosity. he’s got to keep talking to people. what if they do say something new? what if he misses it?
and maybe, after enough time, papyrus does start saying new things.
but papyrus isn’t enough. flowey can’t miss any dialogue, things have changed and he wants to see them. so he starts branching out. papyrus “introduces” him to sans. and sans is a bit sceptical at first, but the flower really doesn’t seem to mean him or his brother any harm. and why would flowey? he’s got his dialogue. he doesn’t need to change anything. he doesn’t need to hurt anyone. and there’s no going back to get the favorable outcome. flowey messes up sometimes, and they have fights, and it’s okay. they get over them, and their friendship is stronger because of it. and they are friends. flowey didn’t mean for it to happen, he doesn’t even recognize it as friendship until papyrus points it out.
because he’s used to being the one “carrying” the entire “friendship.” (i’ll write an actual analysis about this later in another post, so this one doesn’t drag on.) and now he’s interacting with people without having to worry whether this is the optimal outcome. it’s an outcome he likes. and maybe that’s enough.
#undertale#flowey and papyrus#flowey#flowey undertale#character analysis#?#neutral route#please we need more neutral route content#also side note#we’ve got endings where papyrus is dead#flowey has to deal with the lost of his singular friend#and yeah it’s fine at first#but hey why’s everything so boring all of a sudden?#he has now lost two of his friends within maybe a decade#okay it’s like a hundred years or so#but to him it’s a decade#this got long
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Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.
My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.
I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?
And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.
Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.
Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.
So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)
He even gave up his prized possession! His room!
Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.
Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.
Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.
He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.
He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.
Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#everything Leos do almost always ties back to Splinter send tweet#anyway imo if I was Leo winning every lair game I would be bored as hell#and add on to my own dad joining in with my brothers on being disappointed when I do well?#yeeaaah id be my own biggest fan too#tbh Leo’s big brain plays both in Lair Games and Many Unhappy Returns are his real victories#I will say I was proud of Donnie for doing so well!#he deserves a win definitely#but looking at this from Leo’s perspective and realizing this is JUST before the ‘why don’t any of you trust me’ line hurts#wanna make this hurt more?#how about Leo purposefully wanting to lose…but he was a bit miffed that DONNIE out of anyone won#why?#because Leo makes jokes all the time but Splinter says DONNIE is the funny one#because althroughout Many Unhappy Returns Splinter says how he’d prefer if DONNIE were there instead of Leo#makes me wonder y’know? if there’s any scratchy feelings there#nothing that Leo has against Donnie so much as the assumption that Splinter would prefer him over Leo#which if I was Leo…I’d definitely think so even if Splinter absolutely loves his sons equally#just as Donnie probably assumes the opposite as well#splinter bro plz talk to your sons#but yeah victory for Leo imo is equivalent to acknowledgement#just *seeing* him#so he very easily gets wrapped up in the obsession for being the champion#*lou jitsu* always wins and Splinter wants them more like Lou Jitsu so LEO has to always win or…#or…
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Food bowling
original picture
#so i have this headcanon that Mouse Kaboom always had his backpack on whenever he could#just in case yk#and fo context here they are about to leave for a mission which is why they have their outfits on but not everything they need#and Flippy finished first and got bored so he decided to play some bowling with rotten food (he would NEVER waste edible food)#happy tree friends#htf#htf fanart#htf flippy#htf mouse kaboom#htf sneaky#my art#oh i forgot to mention I LOVE the desings they have!!! specially cuz i'm a huge fan of tick lineart#mouse kaboom looks kinda bad here..try not paying attention to him
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why is the eren jeager tag full of smut it’s legit so damn BORING 😭 i’m going on looking for quality content and dick/pussy is SHOVED INTO MY FACE. ffs do you not want to just hold the poor dude? idk man. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SHITTY MODERN AU ISTG
#eren x reader#eren x male reader#how do y’all not get so damn bored#ALSO WHY IS IT ALL MORERN AU?? THE CANON AU IS SO GOOD??#BROOOOOO#aot x reader#attack on titan x reader#aot x male reader#petition to have everything replaced with fluff/angst/comfort and more of its canon au#we also need more x male reader content but that’s a WHOLE other rant i could go on about
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People are so boring about classic literature sometimes. Like I know it’s cool to be critical of men in books from the 19th century or whatever but it just leads to ripping out all of the nuance in favor of “Uh all of the Brontë men were evil and abusive and that’s all there is to those characters.” Say something interesting. I’m begging you
#yes this is about a class I’m in. what of it#There is a scene in Jane Eyre where Jane approached Rochester to ask him for leave for a few weeks to see her sick aunt#and he protests and makes a fuss out of it and he gives her a bunch of money and then takes it back and gives her less than he owes her#and if you read it in the strictest and least charitable fashion then you could say that Mr Rochester is an evil piece of shit who won’t#let Jane out of his sight and doesn’t give her what she’s due#but if you actually read it in the context of the book it’s so obvious that he’s joking around with her#and she’s ribbing him back in that same scene#because when you start out with the idea the Mr Rochester is an irredeemable monster and therefore everything he does is suspicious#you miss out on the very obvious fact that he and Jane are best friends! Their personalities gel perfectly#which is why they become so infatuated with each other#Saying ‘well Rochester didn’t give her all her money so he’s clearly manipulating and abusing Jane in this scene :(’#is such an awful boring take that ignores what Charlotte spent hundreds of pages doing with these characters!#try having reading comprehension how about that#wuthering heights#jane eyre#the tenant of wildfell hall
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Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!
yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)
it's so common in fandoms!
I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.
I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔
I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.
anyway here's a doodle!
#that's autism for you#I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things#I'm not even trying to be judgemental#I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes#so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place#from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here#how did I get here. I'm lost guys#but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things#and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong#i don't belong here#I can't relate to 99% of people#honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist#and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona#so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man#I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep#that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi™ theory#sorry for rant I am bored and tired😔#enjoy#villainous#villanos#dr flug#kenning flugslys#my art#ask reply
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༺JazzProwl Fic Recs༻
— brought to you by puraiuddo -
This is by all means not a complete list of banger JP fics! It's my personal favorites—those fics that lodged themselves in my brain for one reason or another and never left.
Hopefully this list satisfies at least some of the sudden influx of interest for JP fics (and given how well rec'ing a fic turned out last time...) But, nah for real, not to make rec'ing fics fake deep or anything, but I think the fandom would be a better place if people were more unapologetically enthusiastic about fics and less afraid to interact with authors. So if you use this list to find some fics you have to promise to leave some unhinged comments! ٩("•̀ᴗ•́")و ̑̑
But before I start, I want to acknowledge the prevalence of potentially stereotypical depictions of Jazz in regards to his speech (❞), criminal/violent/sexual characterization (▾), or backstory/origins (⟲) in the JP/TF fandom. I've attempted to flag fics with the corresponding symbols above, because I'd like to recognize those problems while still rec'ing for a variety of other fantastic qualities. That said, I'm not infallible so please use your own discretion.
I've also tagged fics with "hiatus" if it's been a while between updates, but the author hasn't made a comment—these fics are especially important to interact with, b/c you never know if the author stopped posting b/c they weren't getting any reviews!
Now, without further adieu...
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༺JazzProwl-centric༻
Mistakes on Mistakes Until— by jabberish
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 280,212 - Alt-War AU』
Ricochet's got a bad case of conscience and he's pretty sure it's about to get him killed. (aka I think I've read every defection/ex-Con au and now I'm forced to make my own. Jazz-centric.)
* (づ ᴗ _ ���)づ♡ The crème de la crème of JP fics. I really can't properly articulate the sheer amount of love and respect I have for MOMU other than that if you haven't read it, your life is worse for it. Go read it. Then read it again. Now. (I've read it 4 times. No, I'm not joking) I love all the fics on this list dearly, but MOMU holds a very special place in my heart. Flawless characterization, flawless dynamics, flawless plot, one-of-a-kind writing style... it's got it all. Of note: I've not flagged it despite its premise, because it will expertly subvert your expectations and you need to read it to understand. Bonus: it's got a lot of well-deserved fanart!
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Untitled Series by Need2Scream
『(2/?) - ffn - Words: 158,064 - War AU - hiatus』
Where the Lonely Ones Roam - 116,327
"Say you have a little faith in me. Just close your eyes and let me lead. Follow me home. Need to have a little trust in me. Just close your eyes and let me lead. Follow me home. To where the lonely ones roam." Eventual Prowl/Jazz
Spark - 41,737 - hiatus
"Chase you deep into the unknown. In my dark, in my dark, you're the Spark."/ "Roam with me, come down to where all of the others fell. Get lost, in the dark to find yourself. Just remember what I said, 'cause it isn't over yet."/SEQUEL to Where the Lonely Ones Roam
*It's not clear by the summary, but the series is essentially about Jazz and Prowl's developing relationship as they overcome war-related trauma, intermingled with a spectacular amount of original lore. See the author's ffn bio for a rundown. The originality and attention to detail in the world building in this AU is awe-inspiring. There are 2 fics in the JP series, but the author has a bunch of other Gen fics set in the same AU and another on ao3. Bonus: some of the Gen fics are Jazz & Prowl-centric and can be read as romantic!
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Crime in Crystals Series by Aard_Rinn
『(7/?) - ao3 - Words: 258,030 - Crime/Hitman AU - hiatus - ▾ ⟲』
The Hitman - 6,942 - pt 1
Prowl is the last clean cop in Praxus, the final flickering light in the darkness. There are plenty of people who would like to see him snuffed.
2. The Clarification, 3. The Kill, 4. The Capture, 5. The Prime, 6. The Talk, 7. The Chase 8. TBD
*The main plot is broken into 7 separate fics, but it's all one continuous story. Read the whole thing! It's on my all time favorites. It's thrilling, tremendously action packed, and the character dynamics are some of my favorites. It's also hysterical and wholesome and I've reread it a stupid amount of times. Bonus: it's got fanart + there are 5 extra fics, including a Jazz-centric prequel, in the same AU.
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War Eternal Series by Hearts of Eternity
『(3/4) - ffn - 2m? idk it's insane - Bayverse War AU - discontinued - ▾ ❞ ⟲』
Where You and I Collide - 362,090 - prequel
Separately, Jazz and Prowl are like forces of nature- they are uncompromising and uncontrollable. But what becomes of their natures when these two unstoppable forces collide? Will one break the other, or will they both be stronger for it?
As We Come Together - 485,586 - pt 2 - Gen
While the surviving Autobots begin to flock to Earth in response to Optimus' call, trying to find a new home on the strange organic planet called Earth, some unfortunate bots are beginning to realize the price of war may have been too high. Sequel to Time
May We Never Let Go - 408,409 - pt 3 - Gen - d/c
Hell literally lies in wait above Earth as the Cybertronians and Earthlings coexist uneasily, rattled by every attack the Fallen and his master launch on them. With new evil rising, the powers that be on Earth and beyond are gearing up for war.
1. As We Come Together, prequel 2: Surface of the Sun
*Long, convoluted explanation coming up given that this series is obviously a whole different beast compared to likely any other fanfic series you or I have ever encountered in our lives... b/c the author is just superhuman or smth idk...
The series is officially listed as 4 parts (WYaIC, WTWHL, AWCT, MWNLG). Where You and I Collide is the JP-centric prequel to the other 3 Gen fics (that have substantial background JP). WTWHL is technically part 1 of the series, but it's sorta more character-focused ficlets than a continuous story... which is why I didn't specifically list it as a rec even if that makes things more confusing... (ᵕ¬ᴗ¬) Also the author didn't list Surface of the Sun as part of the series, but it's a direct prequel (like WYaIC) starring the Lambo twins and it's... oh it's so good... absolutely shatters my heart that it's been d/c'd.
I've not listed an exact world count, b/c if you want to read every bit of the AU with all its prequels and offshoots (which I would highly recommend and have done)... I'm not gonna do the math for you, sorry. The main 4-part story is ~1.7m+ which I realize is frankly insane and extraordinarily intimidating, but it is so sooo sooooo worth it. The author has created their own fully fleshed out TF world with its own lore and characters and the time and effort they've put into is mind-boggling .
Anywho, despite ultimately being d/c'd, the series is still tremendously readable and nothing about JP is left feeling unbearably unfinished. I also happened to track down the lovely author and beg for a summary of the ending, b/c I'm a bit of a freak and they very kindly provided it so if not knowing how a fic ends bothers you/prevents you from reading, you have the option of getting closure even if you can't have it written out.
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Fathomless by Sroloc_Elbisivni
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 19,949 - Fantasy AU - complete』
Jazz is drowning on dry land on the other side of the world. Once upon a time, before Jazz was born, the Rust Sea covered a swathe of Cybertron bigger than the territory of any city-state except Iacon. The sea had been more powerful than any engine besides the one at the heart of the planet itself, big enough to swallow a metrotitan in its depths, the birthplace of storms. Thing is, none of that was Jazz. He doesn’t remember those days, before he was himself, except in his dreams. And his dreams are terrifying.
*This fic makes me feel some type of way... it gives me shivers. It's so eerie and the premise is so unique. It's also beautifully bittersweet, which is a hard concept to pull off.
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The Judge by SilenceoftheLlamas
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 107,653 - Alt-War AU』
Prowl’s got a secret, and he’d rather be dead in the ground before he let anyone find out about it. Jazz’s got one too, but he’s not as good at hiding it. Prowl is a secret superhero, Jazz is a secret fanboy who doesn’t know that he works with the guy. By night Prowl is the virtuous hero The Judge, but by day he’s just an unassuming tactical officer.
*Jazz and Prowl are sorta painfully adorable in this fic and the JP is so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. Plus it's got a really fun premise with lots of shenanigans.
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Black on White on Black Series by pipermca
『(3/?) - ao3 - Words: 86,248 - fix-it, War AU - complete』
Anamnesis - 31,097 - pt 1
When Jazz and his team are lost on a mission, Prowl has to carry on alone. But a discovery a thousand vorn later could turn his life upside down again.
2. The Ghost of the Howling Plains, 3. Pulling Strings
*Super interesting sorta-kinda-fix-it fic and/or explanation for the events and characterizations in IDW. There are 3 stories in the main JP plot line. Bonus: there's 2 "Extras" fics for cut scenes from the main fics.
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Crystal Ghosts Series by Rizobact
『(2/2) - ao3 - Words: 85,688 - Fantasy AU - complete - ⟲』
Enduring as Crystal - 40,517 - pt 1
There were a lot of reasons Prowl visited the library. He never knew the most important one was waiting for him in the garden behind it.
Eternal as Love - 45,171 - pt 2
Prowl promised he would help Jazz, the ghost of the crystal chapel in the garden behind Praxus' central library. He just couldn't anticipate what shape that help would wind up taking.
*Another super unique premise! I love a good historical mystery and the imagery is specularly evocative! And I'm a sucker for the trope... which I can't reveal, because of spoilers.
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Untitled Series by Vaeru
『(2/2) - ffn - Words: 10,766 - War AU - complete - ❞』
Descant - 7,925 - pt 2
G1/Jux compliant. Requiem sequel. Prowl doubted that his desired image of Respected Superior Officer came across very well with a half-scrapped mech clinging to his hand, but he loomed as best as he was able and glared.
*Requiem is Jazz-centric and I'd say more of a prequel to Descant than Descant is a sequel to Requiem... if that makes any sense. Regardless of how you view it or what order you read it, it's fucking brutal. (-‿-“) Bonus: author also wrote another really great fic called Transformers: Juxtaposition which is Lambo twin-centric and OC-centric, but perhaps one of the only OC fics that I've ever enjoyed.
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Domino Milkshake by SilenceoftheLlamas
『oneshot - (1/?) - ao3 - Words: 24,886 - War AU - complete - ❞』
Jazz drunkenly pretends that he's dating Prowl. Only he isn't, and the mech is right behind him.
*It's a fake dating AU... what more can I say? I love the the begrudging developing romance and the meddling friends. Bonus: it's got fanart!
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Hunter's Spark by WandersUnderStarlight
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 43,645 - Alt-War AU - ❞』
Jazz disobeys orders to abandon the ruins of Praxus and runs into one of the Senate's dirty secrets.
*This author also has a few more JP fics that I enjoy like An Offer He Can't Refuse and Long Patrol. I gotta offer aisclaimer though: the fics are... fairly cliche and a bit OOC. Hunter's Spark is much more tame than the other two, though. They're all sorta a guilty pleasure of mine, because it's fun to enjoy Prowl being a bit of a BAMF and Jazz being a bit of a damsel on occasion even if objectively I understand why it's not everyone's cup of tea. (" ̄▽ ̄";)ゞ But the author definitely deserves credit for creative and entertaining premises and a really nice writing style!
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༺General༻
Little Brother by Meiza
『oneshot - ffn - Words: 64,542 - War AU - discontinued』
Prowl is infamous for being a logical, nigh emotionaless thinker who's better at battle calculations than interpersonal relationships. How he was roped into taking care of the last survivor of Praxus is anyone's guess.
*Prowl & Bluestreak centric, but Jazz has a solid amount of screentime. The subplot is pre-relationship, co-parenting JazzProwl and it's cute as hell. It's not 'officially' discontinued, but it hasn't been updated since 2010... so... At least it doesn't end in a cliffhanger. (╥﹏╥|||)
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Things We Don't Tell Humans by SineadRivka
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 363,057 - Bayverse War AU - complete』
This was a first for us Autobots; never before have we come in contact with a species like these humans, so eerily similar to our own race and twice as tenacious as Sparklings. The question was, how far can we trust the humans with our culture? Some things have translated between cultures without much effort. Other subjects, however…
*Please note the tags! Also... I'll be honest that I mostly skip to the JP parts and main plot points in this fic as it's about a very ensemble cast and I'm not interested in TF humans ... so I can't entirely vouch for the integrity of the whole thing. (¬ω¬;)
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Echoes of Messatine by MlleMusketeer
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 303,863 - Alt-War AU - complete - ▾ 』
Cybertron hurtles toward war, and only a handful of mecha see it. Not Megatron, whose inflammatory writings gain him agonizing attention from those on high. Not Ratchet, the Iacon Medical Center’s most prized practitioner, whose Dead-End clinic remains the worst-guarded secret on Cybertron. Not Overlord, whose iron hold over Cybertron’s underworld is beginning to falter. Not Orion Pax, whose concern over the sudden silence of one of his favorite writers drives him to take up his hero’s pen. Not Terminus, who only wants to survive. But Trepan and Senator Shockwave both know well what’s coming. One aims to use a defiant miner’s fall to crush the aspirations of the masses. The other wants to use that miner’s triumph to ignite them. Neither much cares about Megatron himself, or his ultimate survival. Therein lies their fatal error.
*Not clear from the summary, but the premise is essentially "what if Megatron got the matrix instead of OP" and how their pre-war lives would have to pan out for them to ultimately switch roles. Just a really fascinating, supremely well-done "what-if" fic, but also probably the weirdest one to put on this particular list, b/c JP turns into megatron/JP at the very, very end... but... I just kinda ignore that development since it happens in like almost literally in the last chapter and you can def read it as friendship up until that point... (¬⤙¬ ᵕ)
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༺Mature༻
*listen... don't @ me. They're definitely saucy, but they're not explicit. Yada, yada... hey minors, don't read these! ...But we all know you will so just don't talk to me or anyone else about it, cool? Cool. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
Intermission by crabapplered
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 5,049 - War AU - complete - ▾』
As the war stretched on for interminable vorn, Prowl found himself faced time and again with the mounting stress of his position. Many of those times he was forced to face alone, the gear grinding stress sending him to Ratchet for system overhauls and forced defrags. But every so often he'd be fortunate enough to have Jazz on hand, and when he did, well, it didn't take much. Pressing Jazz up against the wall, cramming him into corners, pinning him facedown over Prowl's desk. It didn't matter as long he could keep Jazz still.
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Audition by crabapplered
『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 12,783 - War AU - complete - ▾』
If one were to be delicate, one would say that Jazz and Prowl are incompatible. The blunt truth? 'You just lie there with this blank expression on your face,' he'd been told by his last partner. Signal had stayed longer then most, willing to try since Prowl was so obviously doing his best, interfacing to please his partner and give him what Prowl himself disliked. In the end, though, it hadn't worked. 'You don't like me touching you, you don't like the mess, you don't even like the overload, and half the time I swear you're running economic simulations in your CPU you look that bored. I don't want that. I don't want you miserable, and I don't want me miserable, either.' So why can't Prowl stop wishing?
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That's all, folks.
ദ്ദി(。•̀ω-)✧ ~Happy reading!
and for the shit tumblr search/tag system, i offer: #jazzprowl #jazzprowl recs #jazz x prowl #jazzprowl fic recs #jazzprowl fanfic recs #tansformers fic recs #tf jazzprowl #tf fic recs
#jazzprowl fanfiction#jazzprowl fic recs#jazz x prowl#jazzprowl#prowljazz#jazzprowl fic list#tf jazz#tf prowl#transformers fic recs#tf fics recs#fic recs#yes i've combed through all of ao3 and ffn for everything i can get my hands on why do you ask? i suppose maybe i might read too much why?#call me spiders fanfic#purs post#purs fic refs#i've been much too meticulous with the formatting given that i'll inevitably notice errors that'll drive me insane later ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#but hey ADHD ease of reading amirite? i can't stand unifrom text in general... but a boring list of all things is straight up off limits#my brain shorts out#so y'all get this instead
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wanna draw a ship art but so tired of thinking about the pose
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