#why has this series consumed so badly

[fireflaked]

inej: you two better not kill each other while i'm gone

kaz: oh, please. we're not children

*inej leaves*

nina: eat shit and die

kaz: yes, fuck you

[formulawolff]

xv. everlong - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 3.0k

warnings: age gap relationship, team principal x driver relationship, cursing, marijuana use, alcohol use, toto being down bad per usual, light angst, toto is not the best person for a minute, mentions of divorce/separation, some lighttttt smut (the heavy smut will be included in the next chapter! promise!) oral (f! receiving), some realllll sweet n tender shit, yadayadayada

a/n: this chapter is probably one of my top five favorites, if not favorite chapter of this series. although it would be pretty hard to top chapter xii., i really enjoyed writing this one! to set the mood for the chapter, i have a few song recs to listen to as you read! please try to listen to them in order, as they really set the tone/vibe of golden girl x toto! <3 also, a huge shoutout to the anon who inspired me to write about gg x toto smoking together!! :)

little hell - city and colour

alkaline - sleep token

one way (feat. t-pain) - 6lack, t-pain

everlong - foo fighters

skin - mac miller

prev. | next.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“toto, tell me. are you in love with her?” 

yes, susie. i am. 

she is a divine being, bringing me to my knees at the sight of her. she is the sun, a bright, radiant beacon of light and warmth. her touch alone makes me weak. my mind is consumed with thoughts of her every waking second. i’ve been apart from her for so long, i can barely hold it together right now. 

the team principal inhales sharply, letting out a shaky breath, “i – i can’t answer that.”

“you are, aren’t you?” susie’s expression is unreadable, “you’re in love with her. if this was just some fuck you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

there it was again.

that pang of jealousy deeply interwoven in her fiery retort. 

“susie,” toto begins, scrambling for formulate some sort of coherent response, “i don’t know what to say or how to respond in a manner that will make this any more–”

“no,” she holds up a hand, “you do not have to explain yourself to me any further. i know you love that girl. you wouldn’t have let her pull that little stunt if you didn’t.”

“it wasn’t just some little stunt–”

“exactly,” susie shakes her head, tears glistening in the light, “it wasn’t just some publicity stunt to you. i could tell that you enjoyed that kiss, toto. you were practically making out with her for fuck’s sake.”

“susie,” toto rises to his feet, “we made an agreement, remember? we wanted this. both of us.”

“but that doesn’t mean i have to act like it doesn’t tear me apart seeing you with someone new. someone younger than me. someone who is far more beautiful than i ever will be. someone who can bear more children for you. someone who will–”

“susie, stop. cut that shit out right now.” 

“why?” she demands, whipping her head towards the team principal, “why are you so stone cold as i’m falling apart in front of you? why does this not bother you?”

“because,” toto coughs, clearing his throat, “i don’t love you anymore. that’s why. all of those feelings, they’re long gone. when i look at you, i don’t feel love. you’re one of my good friends, one of my business partners, and the mother of my children. i feel respect, and a deeply rooted companionship. but i just don’t feel love. not even an inkling.”

her eyes narrow, “oh, so i was wrong. you’re not just in love. you’re in deep.”

“and i’m not going to stand here and play childish little games,” the team principal scoffs, “you’ve never acted this way before, and i am not sure why this girl is bothering you so badly when i’ve mentioned other women in the past.”

susie’s lower lip curls into a sneer, “did it ever occur to you that this bothers me so much because i know her? because we were friends at one point? she has a relationship with the academy, toto. i’ve met with her several times. we’ve spoken on a regular basis at one point. it just feels wrong.”

“well,” toto shrugs, “she’s going to be around for a while, susie. you may want to get used to seeing her face around here.”

“you’re fucking ridiculous,” susie snarls, raising a pointed finger at the team principal, “you’ve been a terrible father lately. you’ve been a horrid team principal. and the worst part, you’ve completely lost it. ten years ago, you would have never put your reputation on the line like this.” 

the team principal remained silent as his former wife gathered her composure, cursing under her breath as she slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder, nearly stomping out of the office. the department surrounding his space probably eavesdropped on the entire heated exchange, but he didn’t care. 

after monaco, it seemed like he had less and less fucks to give these days. 

licking his lower lip, toto almost crashes down into his chair, collapsing as a groan rumbles in his chest.

so much for her taking that news well. 

and if he happened to marry this girl?

oh god. 

susie would probably have a conniption. fuck, she would probably ransack his entire office, defacing each and every one of his items. shit, she would even probably try to find a way to get him fired somehow. 

well, he didn’t entirely blame her. it wasn’t like he kept her in the loop about his personal life or romantic relationships. although they had a pretty amicable relationship after their separation, the subject of new love was always like rubbing salt in a wound.

a wound that toto thought had healed. but apparently not. her explosive outburst in the office reaffirmed that. 

there was a pang in his chest, squeezing in his heart as he hunched over the desk, burying his head in his arms. 

oh, how he missed his golden girl.

god, wasn’t that fucked up. 

his ex-wife of nearly a decade just basically professed she still harbored romantic feelings for him, and here he was, fretting as he yearned over his new love. 

he needed to see her, oh so badly. 

but how? although they were only approximately forty miles apart, it felt as if there were thousands upon thousands of miles between them. it was more than likely due to the nature of their current situation, but it left him aching for one singular thing. 

her touch. 

fuck, he craved her touch. the light drag of her nails against his skin as her fingertips traced along his toned back and shoulder blades. the wisp of her hair as she buried her head into his chest. the ghost of her mouth of his as their bodies intertwined together. 

her presence alone was enough to send him spiraling. 

it wasn’t like they were forced to go their separate ways between monaco and montreal. it was just suggested heavily by their pr teams that they do so, just so that williams and mercedes could launch their own personal investigations in regards to their relationship. 

and for the time being, it appeared that things were all cleared. they had broken no rules. they didn’t breach any contracts. well, not entirely. mercedes, williams, and the fia did not need to know about the hours the two of you spent discussing your decision to join toto at mercedes. 

besides, they did not need to know that you were naked, basking in the warmth of him, body tangled with his when you made that decision. 

the official contract talks would have to be scheduled here soon. 

after all, toto was running out of time. 

he needed that second driver. 

and he had you. it wasn’t entirely official quite yet, but he knew he had you. 

time to start making things official then, huh? 

not like he had to really, you already did that for him in monaco.

plucking his phone off his desk, the team principal starts to type out a lengthy text message, swallowing the lump in his throat as his thumb hovers over the send icon. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“what are you feeling for dinner over there, eeyore?”

alex’s voice snaps you out of your zombie-esque trance, your head swiveling as you glance over your shoulder, “i’ll just eat a little bit from whatever you make. i’m not really hungry.”

“oh come on,” alex rolls his eyes, yelling from across the kitchen, “you have to eat something! fuck our diets right now. what do you want? i’ll literally make anything for you. i am begging you to eat something.”

“it’s rare for alex to beg,” a giggle sounds from your right, light and airy, “it wouldn’t be a bad idea though, to eat a little something.”

exhaling, your gaze falls on lily as she sits beside you, perched in the plush chair, “i’m just not that hungry.”

“is it because of everything going on?” lily cocks her head, reaching for her wine glass, “i mean, i can’t imagine what it must be like to be you right now. you have to focus on your racing, your diet, keeping up on social media. yet, you also have to factor in your parents, your briefings, and your personal life. it must be a lot, considering what happened in monaco. by the way, what did your parents think? were they shocked? happy for you?”

“well,” your eyes drift over to the ledge of the balcony, taking in the way the sun was beginning its descent over the horizon, “they weren’t necessarily jumping for joy that i happened to fall for a fifty-two year old man. i think they’ll feel a lot better once they meet him. toto has this charm that has draws you in. i’m sure he would win them over in a heartbeat.”

“just like he did with you?” lily teases, leaning over to prod you playfully, “you know, you could have just told me and alex about him. we would’ve kept things private for you!”

“i know,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “but there was just so much risk involved with telling people about it. and i was scared of how you guys would have reacted, what you would have said, or if you would have told james or the fia or–”

“hey,” lily places a tender hand on your shoulder, “we don’t always choose who we fall in love with. we can choose how we act on those feelings, but that is just ultimately something for the universe to decide. you just happened to fall for a devastatingly handsome, recently divorced team principal.”

“i heard that!” alex calls, earning an eye roll from lily.

“i’m just trying to help her feel better! we both know that man is gorgeous!” 

“i miss that gorgeous man,” you bring your knees to your chest, resting your chin between them, “i know we didn’t have to spend the brief break apart, but our media teams advised us to. you have no idea how badly i’m fighting the urge to just tell him to take the next flight to–”

yet, before you can finish your sentence, your phone vibrates on the table, notifying you that you had a new text message.

eagerly, you snatch it up, eyes scanning over the screen. 

i miss you, beautiful girl. i’m not sure where you are, but i am taking the next flight to monaco as soon as i possibly can. i should be there by tonight. could we rendezvous at my place? if you need me to pay for your own ticket, i will. just let me know.

“what did he say?” lily peers over your shoulder. 

“he’s coming to monaco,” your heart skips a beat as the realization washes over you, “wait, i’m already here! he’ll be here tonight! he wants me to meet him at his place.”

“well,” lily’s eyes glimmer, a bright smile enveloping her features, “looks like you need to eat, take a shower, and get ready missy! alex, will you start your shower for me?”

“i already heard the entire thing,” the driver tuts as he strolls onto the balcony, two plates in hand, “eat first, and then i’ll start a shower for you. from the sound of it, it seems like you’ll have a long night ahead, so you need to eat up before you get your guts rearranged.”

heat flourishes into your cheeks at his comment, “i – oh my god. you don’t know that for sure.”

“i think i do,” a smug paints his lips as he sets the plate down beside you, “there’s a reason why you’ve been so glowy and bubbly these last few weeks. i know you’re not smoking or doing any drugs, so there’s only one other thing i can think of.”

“i cannot stand you,” you mumble, sheer embarrassment taking hold. 

“and that’s why you’re sitting down,” alex lets out a chuckle, “don’t worry buttercup, the teasing is only going to get worse from here on out.”

although you were more than grateful for alex allowing you to stay with him in monaco between the two races, it did have it pitfalls. and that was one of them. ever since you told him about toto, the teasing was relentless. it was never malicious, always lighthearted. how an older brother would pester his younger sister. which, you didn’t mind. 

ever since the meeting with williams, your emotions had been nothing but a tumultuous torrent of anxiety, regret, and well, terror. 

you were terrified that toto was going to choose preserving his career over your relationship. after all, you couldn’t blame him. he was one of mercedes’ spearheads, one of the most respected and dominant forces among the paddocks in his role as ceo and team principal. 

he was a father as well, with three children whom he loved dearly. he was perceived as a family man, who often toted jack on his shoulders or brought him along with to races. additionally, you couldn’t shake the one thing that had been gnawing away at you, completely tearing you apart. 

what did susie think of you? what did she think of your relationship? was she going to try and win toto back? did she still have feelings for him? 

if they happened to meet in the time you were apart, what did she say? how did he respond? was he guilty somehow? was he going to admit to you that after seeing her, some emotions resurfaced?

god, your head was your own personal little hell. 

and who knew if you were ever going to crawl out.

however, deep in your heart, you knew that you needed to see him. you needed to tell him the very thing that had been clawing at the depths of your very conscience. 

you loved him. 

and he needed to know. 

and by god, you were determined to tell him.

well, it looked like tonight would be your perfect opportunity. 

time to prepare for the worst.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“go on, take another hit.”

your fingers pinch the rolled paper, bringing it to your mouth. lashes fluttering, you inhale, the harshness of the contents flooding your lungs, burning your throat. once you were satisfied with  the intake, you purse your lips, smoke billowing out. 

“good girl,” he hums, fingers squeezing your thigh, “i missed you, you know that?”

the corners of your lips curl into a blissful grin, “and i missed you. so much. more than you’ll ever know.”

the lights of monaco glitter in the distance, casting a soft glow over the ocean as the waves lap the shore, foam encasing the gritty shore. hints of tangerine poke out from above the horizon, promising of the sun’s arrival. the scent of marijuana lingers in the air as toto taps the joint against the tray, his brows knit together with concentration. 

above you, stars gleam, dotting the indigo hue that swathed the sky. all around, the mediterranean sea stretched for miles, the lights from various boats and yachts blinking, a gentle reminder that you were not alone.

although, you were in your own little world, utterly enamored and allured by the man beside you. 

toto arrived to monaco around eleven-thirty p.m., not arriving to his luxurious property until about midnight. although it was well later than you expected, you were bright-eyed and bushy tailed, oh so ready to reunite with the team principal. 

even though it was well past the hours he was normally up and about, he offered to take you on his yacht, where the two of you could just spend some time alone together. 

of course, it was an offer you couldn’t refuse.

especially when he mentioned that he had picked up a “special treat for his special girl.”

that treat was a tin of five pre-rolled joints, neatly packed together. the papers encasing them were oh so cute, a light blue with little fluffy, white clouds. the tin itself was to die for, with snoopy as the red baron, a cartoon bubble to his right stating, “up, up, and away!” 

his plug was definitely a woman, but you didn’t mind one bit. after all, with packaging that cute? how could you be upset? toto informed you that the tin was yours to keep, and he was more than happy to keep it filled for you. you just had to say the word, and he would contact his connection. 

smoking was probably the last thing you should be doing between races, but it wasn’t like the fia was testing the drivers regularly. even though the testing was random, toto informed you that once he got the word of any potential tests, he would find a way to let you know. 

you guys had already bent the rules enough, so why not bend them a little bit more?

“hey,” his is low, so gentle it was barely audible, “can i tell you something?”

he’s situated between your legs, spreading your thighs apart as you sit on the sundeck, the cool surface sending a shiver down your spine as it meets with heated skin. 

“of course,” you murmur, a hand connecting with his cheek, “what is it?”

“well for one, i want to fuck the shit out of you right now,” his eyes are glossy, pupils dilated as they hone in on you, “but i need to tell you something first.”

there’s a slight stubble as it grazes the pad of your thumb, his plush lips parting ever so slightly, “what is it, toto?”

he’s lowered now, his mouth hovering above your pussy, the thin fabric of your shorts the only barrier between his lips and sweet, sweet, relief. the relief he had been desperate for these last few days, pacing back and forth in his office as he attempted to maintain his composure. to keep it together. 

but here you were now, looking oh so breathtaking as the moonlight cascaded down, illuminating your skin with a beautiful silvery hue. 

you were a goddess.

 a truly divine being. the one he wanted to worship every single second, every single day for the rest of his life. the one who brought him to knees. the one who made him so utterly weak. 

he was in far too deep now, deeply lost and consumed by you. 

and god, he never wanted to go back.

even if he wanted tried, he knew he couldn’t.

and now, there was only you in this moment. 

drawing him in, coaxing him to fall even deeper. 

“i love you.” 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

taglist: @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010 @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @statuewoman @strangegirl974 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @m-1234 @whoisss @msbyjackal @annaaepf1 @paigelouise @bborra @upsteadsstuff @omgsuperstarg @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower @gisellesprettylies @wonderwolffs @xxforeverinadayxx @theseerbetweenus @simply-the-best23 @ringdingdingdingx @swifth0lic

if you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know! as always, thank you all so much the continuous support! <3 i love y'all so much!

[tsuutarr]

Pokémon Prom: Arven

Pairing: Arven x GN! reader

Word count: 959

Content: fluff, prom

Summary: a part of my Pokémon Prom series where Pokémon characters ask you out to prom (Arven ver).

Arven can feel the moisture gather at his palms, making them a sweaty mess. He can’t help it, though–this is probably the most nervous he’s been in a while. He’s rehearsed at least a couple hundred times in front of the mirror, afraid to mess up, but the more he practices, the more he thinks he’ll mess up.

“Okay–it’s simple, just ask,” he mutters, clenching and unclenching his hands. “The worst that can happen is a rejection–”

“Is this seat taken?”

Arven’s head swivels so fast he’s pretty sure his neck is broken. “Yeah–no. I mean, no it’s not taken.”

You laugh, taking the spot next to him. “You okay, Arven?”

“Yeah.” He can feel his throat dry as his hands get clammier. “Yeah.”

Your initial smile tips downwards. “Are you sure? You–”

“Yeah!” He says it so loudly that he knows people are looking. “I’m just–ugh.” Nervous? Yeah. But it’s not like he can say that without you asking why. “Don’t mind it. I guess I slept kinda badly last night.”

“Ugh, yeah, that sucks.” Your frown eases into a smile. “But hey! No worries, I’m pretty good at home ec., so having me as your partner should help!”

Partner, Arven repeats inside his head, but says, “Yeah, guess I’ll have to count on you a little this time.”

Before you can say anything else, Mr. Saguaro enters the room, his pink shirt straining against his muscles. “Hello class,” he beams, “I hope you’re excited for today’s class. We’re going to learn how to make sweet hearts. It is a chocolate that gives Pokemon twenty HP when consumed. A fantastic way to let your Pokemon know you love them, no?”

Love, Arven thinks, before smacking his cheeks to rid himself of the thoughts.

You glance at him, whispering, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah–yeah. I’m good.” Arven pretends to give his full attention to Mr. Saguaro even though his attention is pretty firmly set on you. You look at him a bit longer, before following suit and looking at Mr. Saguaro, who has already begun to write the recipe down on the whiteboard.

“Seems pretty simple,” you note, before standing up. “I’ll get the ingredients, so stay here, okay?”

“I can–” Arven begins, but is shut up by your look. “...Okay.”

Satisfied with his answer, you stand up to get the ingredients and tools to make the sweet hearts. 

Arven watches as you leave, internally chastising himself for being so abnormal. He made you worry about him because of how oddly he was acting. Shit. Still, he can’t help but think about how sweet you are. Worried about him–he didn’t deserve it…

The thud of metal hitting the table snaps him out of his own thoughts. He looks towards you as you look down on him. “Got the stuff.”

“Thanks,” Arven responds, repositioning the cuffs of his sleeves. “Let’s get started.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” you laugh, watching as Arven sets the tools out. You’d have helped, but Arven’s movements are too quick for you to interject. Instead, you glance at the board to read the instructions. “We’ve got to heat some hot water first, then put a bowl inside the pot.”

“On it.” Arven put everything in place almost robotically, showing his years and years of experience in cooking. You keep watch as he dumps the chocolate chips into the bowl, using a spoon to stir. 

“Huh. You don’t need the instructions?”

“Nah,” he responds, “I’ve done this a lot.”

“Heh.” You grin. “Your Pokemon are lucky to have you–they must be constantly well fed!”

“I’m lucky to have them,” Arven responds, tapping the spoon against the side of the bowl to get the excess chocolate off, “I was really lucky to have met you, honestly.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah–before it was just me and Mabosstiff. But now I have a full team, and I’ve got you. And the student prez and shortie too, I guess.” He mindlessly pours the chocolate batter into the heart molds, before sprinkling some berry powder on the top. His own words only begin to settle in when he realizes that you’ve been silent for a while, and he almost knocks the chocolates over. “I mean–”

“I’m grateful to you too, Arven.” You give him such a bright, earnest smile that he honestly can’t help but flush. “You’re one of the reasons why I got settled into Paldea so well, you know? Thanks for being a part of my journey.” You give a little laugh. “Maybe you’ll be willing to be a part of my next journey, too.”

“Yeah, ‘course.” Arven swallows. “Actually… speaking of adventures…”

“Hm?”

“Do you–you know. The–that is–” Arven taps the chocolate mold against the table to get rid of air bubbles. “You know.”

“Yeah?” you encourage as you melt some more chocolate over the stove.

“The dance. The one that’s coming up… I was wondering if you’d–like, do you want to go? Together? No pressure, though.”

“Oh.” You blink. “Oh!” Laughter bubbles out of you. “That’s what it was, huh?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been acting weird all class, y’know.”

“I wasn’t.”

You give him a flat look, before huffing out a laugh. “All right, fine, whatever. I’d be glad to go with you.”

Arven blinks, before his lips twitch upwards. “You mean it?”

“Of course!” you laugh. “Why wouldn’t I mean it?” 

“Yes!” he cheers, loud enough that the class looks at him. He sheepishly tacks on, “I’m so glad our sweet hearts are turning out well.”

You suppress a laugh. “Yeah, totally.”

He looks at you, before clearing his throat when your eyes meet. “...So, can I pick you up for dinner? Uh–before the dance, that is?”

You grin. “Does five work?”

He smiles back. “Five works great.”

[spinchip]

Bloat

(Warnings: disrespectful discussion of self harm/suicide by a side character. murder. Lots of death.)

They're here about a series of murders. Nya doesn't know why they dragged the ninja out to this nothing town with its stone castle and still water lake, with its missing persons and their empty spaces. The ninja aren't detectives, even if Zane likes to pretend. With twelve people missing, Zane keeps his fedora at home and approaches this delicately. Nya wishes he'd put on that stupid hat.

She's also not sure why she keeps slipping up and saying murder when it's really just missing persons, officially. Eight men, four women, varying ages. All different kinds of backgrounds vanished without a trace.

The ocean mourned each dead fish, every shrimp swallowed alive, but it didn't interfere. Nya struggles to find the point to this. Everyone is somber and cold in the rainy afternoon fog. Jay tries and fails to speak to her several times, slinking away with his tail between his legs each time. She could have been nicer, less blunt, when she ended things. The river does not apologize to the stone it shaves to dust. Her thoughts still feel disjointed and off. The lake's surface is so serene it's mirrored, reflecting gray clouds and dark nights.

The first two victims were teenage boys who snuck out to buy cigarettes. They were supposed to meet a mutual friend but failed to show up. The living boy is distraught, a mess, consumed by guilt and grief and fear for his friends. Kai takes Nya by the upper arm and hauls her away from the group when she says something uncouth, insensitive, cruel. The ocean had no use for manners.

She dreams of drowning in a bathtub, but she doesn't struggle. She simply sinks under cold water, closes her eyes, and-

She wakes up vomiting brackish water over the edge of her bed and doesn't tell anyone.

The seventh victim is hardly considered a victim at all. She'd tried to kill herself three weeks before she went missing, and the rude cop with the badly trimmed beard scoffs at her inclusion in the list. Probably snuck off to the woods, he sneers, finished slitting up her wrists. Nothing to do with these other cases, just lumped in there to do it.

But her mother said she'd changed her mind. What is the significance in wanting to live when death will come for you regardless? She thinks about that girl the most, and hopes she found peace.

Nya feels more aligned with the blood under her skin than the rest of her body. Flow. Liquid. It rushes through her veins like whitewater rapids.

She dreams of inky blackness, encased by water. She wakes up vomiting water again, but Zane is sitting by her bedside with a bucket and paper towel. His eyes are cold despite how he tries to hide it. They're always cold, now.

Bad dream? He asks, reserved. It's a trap but she doesn't know how.

Go back to bed She says instead, rolling over and ignoring him for the rest of the night. He doesn't leave. She doesn't fall back asleep.

Cole gets her to eat even when bread and eggs taste like salt water and seaweed. She hates the taste of the water from the tap. The lake is covered by a thin layer of mist and it smells old and stagnant. Settled water, too much of it.

Charles, the older man who tends to the castle grounds, tells her it's a man-made lake. Put together by the previous lord and lady of the land, dug out by workers paid pennies. He worked on it when he was just a boy. He doesn't say much, and he doesn't do much around the castle. Old and feeble, his mind has gone spoiled. He looks at Nya like she's inhuman.

The last victim was the lord's son, Albert. He's the only one whose name they learn immediately, the police placing his file on top of all of the others and ranking him at priority number one. It's time to do something now that the lord's son is missing.

He'll have my head, Lord Vonnet will, if I don't return his son safely The lord's royal guard dabs his sweaty forehead with a damp towel.

You poor bastard, Nya says before she can think, get your affairs in order.

Lloyd is the one to drag her out of the room looking mortified. Zane follows him out and they exchange a handful of quiet words that Nya can't hear behind the raging waves crashing in her ears. Zane takes her out to the lake.

They are all dead he says simply.

Since before we even set foot in town she confirms.

They are in the lake.

She closes her eyes and sees still, black water. At the very bottom.

The wind blows a sour smell off the surface of the lake. It might have been beautiful, once. When it was fresh and the water was clear and blue. Before it was filled with rot.

I do not know who did it he confesses I keep having bad dreams.

I dream I'm drowning she offers.

I dream I am throwing bodies in the lake he gives back.

She stares at the horizon I feel nothing. Isn't that awful.

He shrugs the ocean does not care to investigate every whale fall.

Interesting choice of words. Whale fall. There are no fish in this lake, it's all man-made she looks at him with dull eyes you think something is eating

When I toss them in the lake i Am certain they will never be found

You're not bothered by this either

He shrugs again, an entirely human act for a man whose eyes are so detached, an Emperor does not care to investigate the death of every subject

She stands and ties her hair into a bun, I'll draw them up, can you make them float?

She doesn't bother waiting for an answer, sinking her awareness down down down to the bottom of the lake. She focuses on the vaguely human shaped masses in the water, cupping them and hauling them to the surface where she lets them go and returns to the bottom. She's so powerful now she doesn't need to step foot into the water to raise up the bodies. She begins to find cow and deer carcasses alongside men and women. She finds bones. She finds old jewelry and clothes.

Finally, she finds the animal.

It was given the name stronsay by the whales and sea lions up north, where these things are typically found. Giant sea serpents, rare in the ocean- non-existent in freshwater lakes. Especially never found in man-made ones like this, too barren to support life. It was juvenile, small, and had not yet shed its baby skin. It was not thriving in this fresh water, but it would have lived until it was too big to move in this thing.

Zanes frozen the bodies of the dead and dragged them ashore.

The lord's son is one of the dead, his body in a poor state. When the rest of the ninja and the police come, after they thaw out his body, they find a leather-bound journal where he talks about the pet he hatched from an egg he found in the cold waters on his last holiday. He wrote extensively about how hungry it was, and exactly how he fed it.

He couldn’t keep up with its appetite, Nya says, staring down at his wet, bloated body.

Icarus Zane mutters at her side.

What will become of the beast? The mustaches policeman asks.

We shall slaughter it! The Lady of the land wails, And stick its head on a pike!

It will be safely and humanely relocated Nya corrects her cooly, Do not allow anyone near the lake before it is moved. Unless you don't like them.

Nya Kai warns.

Later, while Lloyd oversees the beasts removal and the others are likewise occupied, Zane asks do you think we are like them?

Dead?

Changed forever. Call it rot, putrefaction, trauma- altered and, ultimately, lost He murmurs.

I would prefer to just be dead she says without thinking, a thrum of shock at the admission the first tangible emotion she's had in days. She remembers the seventh victim. She'd changed her mind.

Zane grins and it's all teeth, a baring of bone.

Where does that leave us, if we are changed? She looks away, staring out at the lake.

Alone He says simply.

We have each other, don’t we? You understand me. I understand you.

We do He looks at her and she looks at him.

The kiss tastes like saltwater and blood. She kisses him again.

[fist-of-vengeance]

thinking about how essentially every relationship john locke formed in the early seasons of lost has completely disintegrated by the time of his death.

of course there's his relationship with jack, which starts tense but manageable and culminates in jack pointing a gun at john's head and pulling the trigger. but even his smaller, less narratively prominent relationships either implode or drift apart. he bonds with walt in season one but then walt leaves the island, which is itself a severing of their bond since it was mainly based on being the only two people who wanted to stay. still, he goes and visits walt off the island so this is probably john's most successful relationship. I dont think i need to explain how he fucked up with boone, "the sacrifice that the island demanded." charlie viewed john as a mentor and claimed to trust him more than anyone on the island, but after the events of fire and water, that trust is destroyed and charlie despises him. at the same time we get john bonding with claire and having a pseudo-paternal dynamic with her, but their closeness basically drops off the face of the earth as he gets less and less involved with the other survivors.

his arc in the series is essentially a gradual distancing from everyone around him. it starts when he abandons hunting (providing for the others) in favor of trying to get the hatch open (it's extremely clear his primary motive isn't any survival applications but getting answers to the mystery). when they do open the hatch, he spends more and more time inside, underground, cut off from other people. he spends more and more time interacting with ben, a human mystery box that he's obsessed with cracking even if it gets him killed. he follows the proverbial white rabbit deeper down the hole and leaves his connection to humanity behind. the island and its mysteries become more important to john than anything or anyone else.

then in season three we get him claiming to go undercover with the others only to unceremoniously tell sawyer that he's actually going to join them. and it doesn't feel shocking, it feels inevitable. because john has spent the entire series becoming less and less connected with the people he arrived with. in that sense he actually makes a fascinating foil to juliet, who is introduced as one of the others and yet never really fits, she's increasingly sympathetic and kind in a way the rest of them aren't, her redemption arc feels so natural that she actually starts referring to her old people as "the others" like she's been one of the crash survivors from the beginning. her and john basically have inverse arcs, which is probably accidental but very neat.

in season five john tries to convince everyone to go back to the island, and fails spectacularly. and of course he does, because he was so consumed by obsession that he stopped maintaining his relationships, and in many cases actively alienated people (this is also basically what happened with helen) and now he can't wrap his head around why they're all so hostile to him. i am forever obsessed with the scene where he confronts kate and she brutally calls him out for wanting to return to the island because he doesn't love anyone. it actually struck me on rewatch how well the two of them got along in season one, and how badly their relationship has degraded by this point. john repeatedly casts aside interpersonal relationships in favor of his obsession with destiny, so when said destiny actually involves persuading the people he once shunned, he's at a loss. this is because john treats purpose as a supplement for connection, destiny as an alternative to love.

as an aside, this aspect of john's character kinda ties into my opinion that several lost characters can be read as allegorically neurdivergent under a certain lens. i know this was absolutely not intended, but as an adhd former gifted kid who struggles socially, there is something uncomfortably familiar about a character who allows their relationships to burn around them because of a single-minded obsession, especially as a result of being promised the fickle status of "special."

tl/dr: john locke is a doomed idiot and i love him

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I completely agree with gravecest having a breeding kink but I'm so obsessed with an AU where they break into the house and learn that their parents decided to try one more time with having kids and they run into a baby in their parents new place, clearly left to fend for itself while their mom was doing that grocery run. So many mixed emotions about being replaced but also knowing that even with this one they were fucking up, and wanting to prove they were better than their parents by raising the kid together (which also sells them as "Mr. and Mrs. Graves). And also makes them weird dark mirror reflections to A Series of Unfortunate Events :)

ANON YOU GET MEEEEEEEE

But god, the Graves parents completely restarting EVERYTHING. They have new jobs, a new house, new lives, why shouldn't they have a new child too? A perfect, normal child for their new, perfect lives? One that isn't fucked up like their other two, because obviously the problem was that Andrew and Ashley just Weren't Right, the Graves parents would never consider that their own parenting could've played a role in how their children turned out. Everything will be right now.

(They adopt instead of trying to have another on their own; pregnancy sucks and the agency was more than happy to help a pair of grieving parents start over.)

Except babies are loud and they're gross and they're annoying and they're so needy. They can tolerate working from home on alternating days, because they don't have an older child to dump their baby on and a babysitter is just a waste of money, but neither of them like it and the baby is left to cry in its crib more often than not, the monitor turned off because it's just so annoying. And sometimes Mrs. Graves just needs a break. Babies are sturdy, it'll be fine if she just runs out for a quick grocery run, 30 minutes, an hour at the absolute most.

When Andrew and Ashley find the baby, it's obvious that this isn't the first time it's been left alone like that and that the abandonment isn't the only way it's been neglected. The nursery is half-finished and nearly empty compared to the master bedroom and living room, it needs a diaper change badly, and it clearly hasn't been washed or fed as regularly as it needs to be. This baby is an uncomfortable look into their own childhoods but somehow worse and it makes both of them see red.

Keeping that baby is so fucking stupid, they both know it would be smarter to leave it at a hospital or on a neighbor's doorstep, but. . . they want so badly to be better than their parents. They want to prove that they're capable of the love and kindness that their parents refused to give them, and it'll sell their story better! People are always more sympathetic to a young couple with a baby, even if it'll be more expensive and make them more vulnerable. Their parents had enough basic supplies, formula and a car seat and a baby carrier and all that crap, that they won't have to spend too much of the money on baby stuff right away at least.

(Andrew is frantically googling infant care and trying to figure out the logistics of raising that baby, meanwhile Ashley has a dozen tabs about inducing lactation and thinking about how the more like a "real" family they seem, the harder it would be for Andrew to abandon them.)

At dinner, Ashley gives the baby a few tiny sips of broth from the soup, wanting it to experience something it wouldn't get a chance to later, consuming their shitty parents like its older siblings and new parents get to. Andrew just sighs and reminds her to cool the broth first and not too much, damn it Ashley, it's not old enough!

[violetasteracademic]

I saw a reddit post a while back talking about how “obvious” gwynriel is, with hundreds of upvotes and everyone agreeing, saying that it’s exactly how SJM sets up her love interests, and it makes me feel like a crazy person.

I agree that SJM is obvious with her couples, but for me the only logical obvious answer is elriel. The entire time I was reading the series it couldn’t have been more obvious, and all my irl friends feel the same. We didn’t even know gwynriel was a thing. They barely interact in the books, and even then it’s only vaguely friendly and mostly one-sided. Then I get online and see all of these people who genuinely believe it’s gwynriel that’ll be endgame and I can’t understand how we’ve read the same books.

This is the only reason I question elriel at all; am I somehow missing something? What the hell are these people seeing that overshadows elriel’s foreshadowing? I just can’t see it from their point of view, no matter how many theories or analyzing I read from them. I almost wished I could so that this ship war wouldn’t be so frustrating, but I just can’t.

Sorry to throw this rant at you, your posts and explanations are just very comforting and you explain things so well. I read them whenever I’m worried to assure myself I’m not crazy :,)

Hi sweet anon!

I certainly don't think you are crazy or missing anything, and I'm glad to know that some of my posts have brought you comfort. That is my one and only goal.

I've been getting more and more messages like this in my inbox, and I've been struggling with how to answer them because I've learned that a lot of my thoughts don't really fit in with the fandom at large. I don't mind that other ships exist. I have real life G/wynriel and E/lucien friends that are very chill and wonderful and not knee deep in the online fandom and don't think horrific misogynistic things. I stay out of spaces where I'm bound to see something hurtful, and I scroll so fuckin fast when I see the Elriel community screenshotting and reblogging bad takes cause I *don't wanna see it.*

I'm just a girl, and while I'm honored that this little weirdo's opinion has become of some value in this little comfy cafe corner I'm trying to build here, I don't want to say the wrong thing and make people feel discredited and invalidated. I've learned that people really like being in the drama and venting and focusing on how badly the other side is behaving, which I don't really like, and it often leaves me at odds with my own "side" of the war. But since you are here in my asks, I'll share my thoughts. Please know I am saying this with all the tender love and care in my heart, but I say:

Just let them exist. You don't need to understand. You also don't need to let it worry you. None of us are in control of the ships that are sailing in this war. So for whatever it is worth, I want to encourage you to try to stay away from the spaces that make you feel upset, confused, hurt, or angry.

We are all honestly similar in ways that might be hard to admit. If we are here, deep into this fandom, we are probably connected in a number of ways. Maybe we're a little bit lonely (me), a little bit mentally ill (me), a little bit hyper-fixated (me). Maybe we are easily consumed and obsessed, and don't have anywhere for that energy to go in our real lives and so we live on in a chronic state of escape and disassociation (yep, me).

We are also an exceptionally small percentage of SJM's readership, and we take things as far as a fan could possibly take them. This is not how most readers are interacting with her work. So to see hundreds of upvotes on something, even thousands, yes- it seems like a lot. But it's not actually that much in terms of SJM's actual numbers. Anyone on reddit, tumblr, tiktok, ect, is looking for community and people who share their thoughts and likes and dislikes. I think this is often why a lot of non canon ships actually grow more popular than canon ships, because people are here looking for a road the written story will not take them down.

I don't think it's strange or offensive or unhinged that ships other than Azriel or Elain exist and are popular. I *do* think its a little odd that this fandom has taken the stance of proving non-canon things as canon instead of just enjoying crackships, but I can't honestly sit here and say my posts proving "canon" to try to comfort people who want the same fictional couple as me is not the exact same behavior. I think I'm right. They think they are right. There will come a day when Sarah lets us know what she has decided, and it's out of our hands. But the ships will live on.

I love so many non canon ships, and I engage with them here every day. This is what fandom is for. I think this fandom in particular would be a lot less toxic if we would just live and let live and leave each other be. I am gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic. They are gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic.

Take care of yourself. Rock the block button. Strangers on the internet do not get unfettered access to me or you or anyone else just because we are online. Set some boundaries for yourself. Lurk where you feel good.

I hope my page continues to be one of those places where you can lurk to feel better. And if that ever changes, block me. I encourage it deeply. I actually feel relieved when I can see that someone has blocked me, because I know they are taking care of themselves and also saved me the time and energy of trying to diffuse an argument.

I hear your frustrations. I know it sucks to want to go on reddit if that has been a fun and comforting space for you, and now it feels overrun and not safe and not fun. Grieve that. We obviously all care very deeply, and that's okay. It's nothing at all to be ashamed of.

But at some point, we are all gonna have to learn to live with each other, because no matter what happens in canon, the ships are not going anywhere.

Take care of yourself, anon. And I hope you continue to find comforting spaces to rest.

[loneamaryllis]

Snarriet Rec List - Long fics (100k+)

Certain Dark Things

by evejenson (rentachi). Rated M. Nearly 900k, WIP. Slytherin Harry. Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived. Mentor Tom Riddle.

They sought her out for conversation sometimes, cornering her in the garden or at the park, not that they ever had much to say. Really, Harriet thought snakes were rather dull.

---------

Harriet Potter has always been odd. Between having a shadow that moves on its own and chatting with grass snakes, learning she's a witch really isn't the strangest thing to happen to the bespectacled girl with a lightning scar on her neck.

Harriet attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where she makes new friends, encounters a prickly Potions Master, learns about the Boy Who Lived, and meets the enigmatic Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, Professor Tom Slytherin.

Why I rec it: This is the best HP fic, period. A retelling of the entire series, where Harriet is sorted in Slytherin in a world where Voldemort won (but not overtly so). Incredible character work, dense world-building fed to us in perfectly-sized bites, clever foreshadowing, and really, really great writing overall. Plus, if you love Voldemort, you'll love what the author did with him in this fic. I can't recommend it enough.

Saving Snape

by @loneamaryllis. Rated E. 206k. Auror Harry Potter. Sentient Hogwarts. Courting Rituals.

Severus Snape is receiving death threats. The Ministry decides that Auror Harrie Potter should be assigned to his protection.

Why I rec it: A self rec! Someone is trying to kill Snape and Harrie has to protect him. There's a mystery, some angst, some pining, a lot of smut in the later half of the fic, and a sentient Hogwarts who ships Snarriet.

Carrying Atlas

by @hirukochan. Rated E. 126k, WIP. (Underage) Daddy Dom Severus Snape. BDSM Contract. Collaring.

On a late night walk Snape stumpled upon no other than Harriet Potter who was once again in trouble. How deep the trouble ran and why none of those close to her realised how badly she was taking the loss of her godfather would remain a mystery but Snape had sacrificed too much to let her give up now.

Or

Harrie tries to cope through meaningless sex with strangers and Snape decides in order to keep her safe from depraved men only wanting to exploit her he has to become one of them and make it worth her while.

Why I rec it: The Snarriet BDSM fic! Harrie enters into a contract with Snape as some sort of therapy. The smut is ultra hot, Snape is very respecting of Harrie's boundaries while having to deal with his own issues, and while there's angst, there are also a lot of fluffy moments. Plus there's not a lot of Snarriet fics where Harrie calls Snape Daddy so if that's what you're looking for, you're in for a treat.

The Blood of the Enemy

by @rose-colored-glasses7. Rated M. 154k, WIP. (Underage) Blood and Violence. Morally Grey Harry Potter. Toxic Relationship.

Cedric Diggory is dead. Following the terrible ending to the Triwizard Tournament, Emma Potter has returned to the Dursleys to mourn the death of her boyfriend. However, soon enough, an attack on Privet Drive leads to her arrival at 12 Grimmauld Place - the headquarters to the mysterious Order of the Phoenix. The blood wards have fallen. When frightful visions begin to consume her mind, Emma's forced to take lessons with her hateful potions professor. Cruel, sadistic, dark, by any right the lessons should make her hate him even more. Only, as the lessons continue, she finds herself more and more drawn to him... Lord Voldemort has returned. As the latest Defense professor wreaks havoc on Hogwarts, Emma searches for answers about the terrible connection between her and Voldemort - and why, exactly, he came after her all those years ago. The web of truth and lies is unraveling… and she begins to wonder if Emma Potter was ever really alive at all. With war looming on the horizon and the Ministry in firm denial of his return, Emma begins her worst year at Hogwarts yet. The question is, can she survive it?

Why I rec it: Emma Potter is a great take on a female Harry. She's a bit darker, a bit more cerebral, and her connection to Voldemort takes more place than in canon. Her relationship with Snape is wonderfully multi-layered and so tense!

Gravity

by SlytherinsQuill. Rated E. 268k, WIP. Violence. Trauma. Eventual Happy Ending.

What if Harry Potter was born a girl and known as Rosalie Potter? How might it change the dynamics of life as the most famous teenager in the Wizarding World? At the end of Rosalie Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts, war has broken out in the Wizarding World as a result the attack on Hogwarts. Forced to spend the summer at Grimmauld Place for her own safety, Rosalie learns more about herself and the people around her than she ever thought possible. Relationships form, friendships change and she learns just how much the people in your life influence who you are and who you have the potential to become.

Why I rec it: A great fic depicting the evolving relationship between Rosalie and Snape with the hunt for Horcruxes as a background. The smut scenes are so well-crafted, very emotional and both soft and passionate. Some scenes are so epic they'll stay with you for a long time.

The Never-Ending Road and its sequel No Journey's End

by @laventadorn. Rated M. 656k, WIP. Female Friendship. Protective Severus Snape.

AU. When Lily died, Snape removed his heart and replaced it with a steel trap. But rescuing her daughter from the Dursleys in the summer of ’92 is the first step on a long road to discovering this is less true than he’d thought. A girl!Harry story, starting in Chamber of Secrets and continuing through Goblet of Fire. Future Snape/Harriet. (OotP - DH will continue in a separate story.)

Why I rec it: An epic retelling of the series, starting at Year 2. My favorite thing in this fic are the description of Snape's eyes. Intense and so poetic! The world-building is great, and the relationships between the characters are well-developed.

Wearing Only a Sneer

by pluperfectsunrise. Rated E. 100k, WIP. Slow Burn. First Time. Love Confessions.

With the war finally over, Harry Potter is dead set on losing her virginity. What will happen when she decides that the perfect candidate for a partner in this endeavor is Severus Snape?

Why I rec it: I love the way Harriet slowly convinces Snape to get in bed with her. The smut is so tender and also so hot! Also the only Snarriet fic to feature Harriet pegging Snape, to my knowledge.

Grey Hours

by @spicedlantern. Rated M. 101k, WIP. Time Travel. Angst.

She'll need to put them in various boxes in her head to cope - constant reminders of where they end up, no matter where and what they are in her present - no matter what her eyes see. Lily Evans - murdered. James Potter - murdered. Sirius Black - murdered. Albus Dumbledore - murdered. Remus Lupin - alive - alive with a son, and that, at least, she has to hold on to -

Severus Snape -

Traitor.

--

Or: In June 1999, a group of rogue Death Eaters led by Bellatrix Lestrange breaks into the Ministry. They steal six "true" time turners.

In August 1975, Auror Harriet Potter appears in the middle of Albus Dumbledore's office. He offers her a job.

Why I rec it: Another one of spicedlantern's excellent fics. An original plot, some truly great tension between Harriet and Snape, one adult Snape, one teenage Snape, and a Lily who gets to shine as a lot of chapters are from her POV. The author weaves a plotty tale with deliciously smutty moments once the Snarriet happens.

[bumpkinspice0]

Parallels: Chapter 3

Miguel O'Hara x Spider!FemReader

No use of y/n

Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI!!!)

Word Count: 1400

Summary:Miguel was consuming your every thought and it's becoming an issue. You wonder if he's having the same problem.

Warnings: Smut- Male (Shower) masturbation, Sexual frustration, Pinning, tension, Angsy as hell, learn a little more about reader's life, J. Jonah Jameson is in every universe Notes: I just realized I never said that the 'shared spider-sense' theme of this fic is entirely inspired by the relationship between Peter Parker and Cindy Moon, or more commonly known as Silk. They were both bitten by the same spider and share a spider sense, making them drawn to each other and ALSO able to track the other through the multi-verse. Silk is a an awesome spider character. 10/10 recommend checking out her comics (But I say that about every comic) I'm not sure Miguel and readers connection will be exaaaactly the same since they literally couldn't have been bitten by the same spider, but yeah. This is a totally cannon thing spider people can do 😅

Previous Next

Series Masterlist

AO3

-

Chapter 3

On My Mind

The restaurant was busier than you’d like, but really everywhere in this city was. Busier just meant louder, and louder meant earplugs for you. After having advanced hearing for nearly a decade you’d gotten used to it by now. You didn’t want to spend all night asking people to repeat themselves because you could over-hear everything that was happening in the restaurant. Right now you just wanted to be with your friends— unfortunately, your mind kept drifting elsewhere. 

Since you returned to your dimension 3 days ago, Miguel has consumed your every waking thought. Your daily hero life was suffering for it. You lost 2 robbers last night and missed a car chase this morning because you were too stuck in your own head. You were never one to get distracted on the job— and by a guy no less. 

 I should have stayed in the training room. I should have stayed longer and maybe we could have…

You’re not entirely sure what would have happened, honestly. This was uncharted territory. Some undefined connection only between the two of you? An innate sensation that drove you to horny madness. It sounded like a bad comic book plot. You’d probably had weirder things happen in your nearly 10-year-long spider career but this was by far the most frustrating.

Just the thought of him invaded your every sense. The deep rumble of his voice. His distinctive, rich smell— Like red wine. The taste he left in your mouth. 

You wanted him. You wanted him so badly, and you hated how much you wanted him. You didn’t even know anything about him.

Fuck Miguel O’Hara and whatever the fuck he was doing to you. 

But Miguel was a Spider-Woman problem.

Tonight you didn’t want to be Spider-Woman. You wanted to forget your interdimensional side gig and the broody, gigantic man that was driving you insane. Tonight you just wanted to be a good friend— and you were failing miserably at that too. 

Your best friend Jack wrangled his boyfriend, Ash, and your college friend Sue to come out for drinks and your mind couldn’t be further away.

“Hey, space cadet!” Jack snaps his fingers directly in front of your face. You’d been staring at the same potted plant across the room for probably 5 minutes now. You crash back to maddening reality. 

“Sorry, what?” you reenter whatever the conversation was now with a pitiful smile.

“Ash asked what’s new at the paper,” Jack repeats the question you never heard. He gives you a worried look. Jack knew about your double life. He’d known you for so long now, you couldn’t hide anything from him. He'd catch it whenever something was slightly amiss before you could even articulate a single word— thus why he lined up this friend's night in the first place. You’d been reclusive since you’d joined the multiverse. 

“Oh, at the Bugle?” You take a generous swig of your cocktail, “Jameson’s still behind on the times, I think. Keeps trying to push papers instead of giving our digital department more funding. I’m still only making stuff for print. Like, do you even remember the last time you even read from a newspaper?”

“Honestly, I don’t think I ever have.” Ash snorts.

“Maybe in high school,” Sue taps her chin, “And even then it was for like an assignment.” 

“People still need paper-mache supplies!” Jack interjects.

“Hey!” you playfully shove him, “That’s my entire industry you’re shitting on, sir!”

“Oh, so you’re defending the infamous J. Jonah Jameson now?”

“I’m but a lowly graphic designer,” you clarify, “The only thing he wants me to do with his precious paper is not look too much like The Times .”

You’d landed your job at The Daily Bugle in college. An internship turned full-time staff position. You’d gotten Jack some freelance work there on the side. He was seemingly the only photographer that could get a halfway decent picture of the mysterious Spider-Woman. He always gave you a small cut of whatever Jamason was willing to shell out. You didn’t know how to work a camera for crap, but you knew how to pose for a picture.

The evening rolls on with a pleasant demeanor. It was nice to be talking to non-spider people. To listen to the casual ramblings of your friend's completely ordinary lives. That new bitch at work or their mother calling one too many times a day. You envied them, honestly. It’s been so long since you could just simply live . This night out was a small taste of what you’d been missing. Connection. 

And, of course, it gets ruined. 

The nearby wail of sirens penetrates through your foam earplugs. They were maybe 3 blocks away. Once you hear it, you can’t unhear it. All conversations fall dead in your ears, your focus now entirely on the possible imminent danger to your city. The sirens are getting further away now.

A vibration from your phone in your pocket catches your attention. You check it under the table. A text from Jack. 

‘Sidejob thing?’

He always texted you in code about Spider-Woman business. He must have seen your face go placid, even though he can’t hear the distant sirens. You give him a faint nod across the table and he glances to the door— His silent message loud and clear. 

What are you waiting for? Go.

You know Jack did his best to understand, even if he never truly could. You had a duty. It wasn’t just a job, but who you were. You could never just stand idly by.

You quickly make an excuse about forgetting a deadline and shimmy out of the booth, leaving a few bucks for your meal. So much for no Spider-Woman tonight. 

____

Fuck you. Get out of my head.

Fuck you. Get out of my head.

It had become his mantra for the last few days— of course, it didn’t help anything, but cursing you gave him some minor vindication. 

He found himself in the shower 20 minutes longer than usual, attempting to give himself some kind of relief. The thought of you waiting on your knees for him clawed at his mind. He stroked his painfully hard cock to the image, now forever burned into his retinas. 

He never got distracted. It wasn’t in his nature. He prided himself on being the best leader he possibly could be. Attentive, knowledgeable, a team player— and for the most part, he was. Now you had come and thrown a wrench into all of that.

He should have known from the first time he saw you this would be a problem. It caught him completely off guard, but how could he have been prepared for… whatever this was? He was in the midst of building an empire, and there you were, as casual as ever— and so clearly just as confused as he was. A spider-sense suddenly manifesting? Ridiculous.

As soon as you locked eyes, he knew this was all because of you.

God, you were beautiful.

There had been few times he let his instincts take hold of him. He’d made himself into an apex predator in search of his spider abilities— he had to hold himself to a different standard than the rest of you. He was dangerous, and whatever this connection is, was dangerous in turn. 

He couldn’t control it, not yet anyway. And seemingly, you couldn’t either. You were both prey to your most primal desires and irresistibly drawn to the other to satisfy them.

He couldn’t escape your assault on all of his senses. He was fixated on you in every way imaginable. Your smell, your voice, your looks— your taste. 

He cums to the memory of your soft thighs squeezing his head. He heaves shaky breath after shaky breath, trying to gather his composure. It was hollow, fleeting relief. He can’t help but think you could have made it better— He knows you’d have made it better. He catches a glimpse of his reflection in the foggy glass and is immediately disgusted with himself. 

He’d never been this way before. You were part of his team, a fellow hero that decided to join his league. He was your boss, for lack of a better term. This couldn’t go on. At least not the way it was currently.

He needed answers.

He was a scientist. It was time to do some research.

[sleepyfan-blog]

Day One

Author’s Note: Hagiel’s No Good, Terrible Mission part 1. Next

Playlist for this fic series: Spotify Youtube

Tagged: @undeaddream , @egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel @whorety-k @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

Warnings: canon-typical violence

Summary: Hagiel talks to some nobles, helps begin repairs to one of the damaged hospitals, and is invited to a fancy dinner.

word count: 3,278

The battles had been long, brutal and back to back. By the time that Hagiel and the small patrol of Brothers he’d been assigned to had finally killed and burned the last of the orcs off of this world, the planetary governor had informed them that a Drukhari raiding vessel had been barrelling towards the planet. They’d scrambled into their barely-functioning Battle Barge, leading what was left of the planetary defense forces in a pitched and desperate fight against the cruel, chaos-tainted Aeldari. When it became clear to the capricious near-immortals that whatever they’d been gunning for wasn’t worth the effort, they’d left, but not before crippling The Resolve’s primary engines out of spite.

It had killed all of the serfs and tech priests on board as the radiation and promethium leak killed them. It had killed half of his remaining brothers as they stopped the leak and repaired the engines to the point that The Resolve was able to move again… And teh radiation had rendered their gene-seed unsalvageable. Once The Resolve was safe enough to land, Hagiel’s superior ordered them to do so… Just in time for a small fleet of fucking Tyranids to arrive and attempt to consume everything in their path.

Hagiel had tried to keep positive, or at least hope that reinforcements would arrive before the system was overrun. The surviving planetary defense force had helped them hold the line as the civilians evacuated in as orderly a fashion as possible. The tyranids had managed to land on Karsos three. The primary world in the solar system and had caused a tremendous amount of destruction to the principle hive city.

The tyranids had been killed, and the surviving civilian ships returned. Hagiel had spent the last three days collecting his dead brothers’ corpses, retrieving their geneseed and other vital organs if they were still useable and storing them properly on the Resolve, and burning their bodies, as was custom for his chapter. Hagiel didn’t know why he was the sole surviving member of his patrol… But the god emperor had him spared the oblivion of death so he would continue to serve faithfully. 

General Wuelt - the leader of the local astartes who had recently taken over as the interim commander in chief of the remaining Planetary defense forces after Admiral Rufus had sacrificed himself and his badly damaged command ship to destroy the primary Tyranid control vessel. He approached Hagiel in the half-destroyed space port that the Resolve was docked at. 

Behind the General was Lord Shyrc - the Governor of Karsus three, who had stayed behind until either the last of their people were evacuated…. Or Hagiel and the mortal defensive forces managed to save the day. They were speaking in low tones with their vice governor, LadySablescar.

“You called for a meeting, Lord Angel?” Lord Shyrc asked as soon as they were within conversation distance.

“Yes. I have news and I have bad news. Which do you want first?” Hagiel asked, tension boiling in the pit his stomach had become.

“Bad news first. More xenos trying to kill or enslave us?” General Quelt guessed, weariness exuding from the human “I’ll really my forces… My condolences on your loss, Lord Angel.” 

“Nothing immediately life-threatening like that…However the relief aid that was supposed to arrive today? It has been delayed indefinitely. We have seven solar days until a group of Ultramarines lead by one of their company captains comes to inspect this city and take the Imperial Tithe and exacta required of the worlds in this system.” Hagiel explained, trying to keep his emotions out of his voice "They are being sent here on the orders of the Imperial Regent himself.”

“... Well… Fuck. That’s some shit news alright.” Lord Shyrc groaned. They pulled out a silver hip flask and drank deeply from it before offering the flask to General Quelt, who took it silently and drank deeply from it as well. The planetary governor heaved a sigh and said “I’m guessing that the Ultramarines are expecting to see a functioning capital city instead of… This.” They gestured to the still smoking half-destroyed wreck of a hive city that the spaceport gave them all a stark overview of.

“You are correct.” Hagiel confirmed with a nod, anxiety-induced nausea clawing at his stomach. “Despite the lack of relief aid, we need to try and get this city ready for inspection. Ultramarines are , as you all are doubtlessly already aware of, well known for their attention to detail and protocol.”

“I’ll contact my underlings and have them round up everyone who is able bodied and non-medical to immediately begin unfucking the city.” The general rumbled,already typing away on his fox communicator.

“Lady Sablescar and I will rally the remaining nobles and merchant clans, to get the material stockpiled for such disastrous times to the places they are needed most… May I inquire as to what you plan on doing, lord Angel?” Lord Shyrc asked, gray eyes looking him over assessingly.

“I do have some experience and training in both structural repair, as well as search and rescue. I plan on aiding in the reconstruction of the major hospitals in this city, before aiding in finding any civilians trapped under the destroyed parts of the city who may still yet live.” Hagiel explains. 

The mortals nod and each head off to go wrangle their people into getting this city ready for inspection. With any luck, they should be able to get the city ready for a glancing inspection in time… Or so Hagiel hopes. 

~

There used to be seven large, fully-staffed and stocked hospitals in the hive city. Between the Tyranids, the orcs and especially the Drukhari, five of them were utterly destroyed, along with all of the infrastructure in the immediate area within a quarter-mile radius. Arbites had been deployed in those areas, not only to search for survivors and bring any usable medical supplies to the two only partially destroyed large hospitals… And to discourage attempts at looting in these utterly destroyed areas. 

Hagiel went to the less-destroyed hospital in the northern sector of the half-destroyed hive city, moving carefully through the densely packed streets, occasionally stopping when a baseline human called out, asking for his assistance with something or another, aiding them however he could. When he was asked if he knew where any loved ones were, Hagiel shook his head and suggested that they speak with one of the Arbites patrols about reuniting with loved ones, as that was not something he was in charge of. 

He could see that the baselines were already starting to patch up their homes and businesses with whatever they had to hand, which was heartening to see. Sometimes the despair and cruelties inflicted upon them caused the baselines to go into a state of numb catatonia and they needed to be prodded into movement, and continuing on with their lives. Or at least.. Most of them were. There were more than a couple of times where Hagiel had to step in as a group of desperate frightened humans would try and coerce and threaten a lone or pair of humans for whatever they had on them. Hagiel would not allow such cruelties to happen when he could stop it, firmly scolding the would-be thieves while protecting the victim until the Arbites arrived and processed the desperate criminals.

It took him several hours to get to the northern hospital due to the aid that the baselines had needed that he couldn’t help but give them, and he arrived just in time to help lift a large piece of collapsed wall where several heat signatures could be detected in his visor. Before the first aid staff could rush in he held up a hand, curling it into a fist, which they knew meant stop.

Yes,amongst the rubble and debris there were a half-dozen semi-conscious medical staff each in varying states of injury, but there was also a mid-sized Orcish bomb buried in the rubble as well. It hadn’t gone off, but it still had explosives haphazardly and quite dangerously shoved inside of the crude metal casing. Some of the liquid explosives had leaked out of the rusted metal and dripped onto the floor in a thick, viscous puddle of danger. “I will remove the injured one at a time. I need the rest of you to evacuate the surrounding rooms, on this floor as well as any higher and lower floors. Orcish ordinance is notoriously difficult to disarm.” Mostly because it shouldn’t actually work and should explode the moment it was touched or moved. Especially once outside of the WAAAGH! Field of an Orc Warboss. 

“Yes, lord Angel!” the leader of the repair team of baselines called out, immediately barking orders and ensuring that their people were moving in as efficient a manner as possible “Is there anything we can do to reduce the likelihood of this thing going off before we can get everyone clear?”

“You wouldn’t happen to know of any sanctioned psykers trained in telekinetic manipulation who are on planet and in a fit state to use their emperor-blessed abilities, would you?” Hagiel responded with a sigh. Drukhari bombs were difficult and deadly to try and diffuse, but it was in fact possible to do so. Tyranid didn’t do bombs like this, prefering to use psykery to stun or disable an opponent before consuming everything in their path. 

“... No sir, but I’ll ask around.” The repair team leader answered, shaking their head a little.

Hagiel sincerely doubted that one would be found in time - if there were any such trained psykers left alive in the system. The trained psykers who had been present before the battles either died fighting bravely against the waves of enemies, or were critically exhausted and unable to serve safely - and the last thing any of them needed was a daemon possessing an exhausted and desperate to serve psyker because their attention wavered at the wrong time. He carefully picked up the nearest injured baseline, having knelt down and slowly pulled them out from under the desk they’d wedged themself under, before walking over and handing them off to the nearby emergency medical team, two of whom whisked them off on a stretcher.

The next four injured humans were just as easy to pull free of the remaining wreckage of what remained of the large room that had  been mostly destroyed. The final baseline woke as soon as Hagiel touched their shoulders, a low, pained whine leaving them as they jerked in surprise “Who…Who are you?” The human slurred, squinting up at him, pupils different sizes.

“I am Brother Hagiel of the Lamenters third company. I am pulling you free of the wreckage of this room and putting you in the hands of those who can patch you up.” Hagiel responds, deciding to forgo telling them about the unexploded orc bomb in the remains of the room. It would only cause upset.

“But… But I… Need to finish my shift… There’s… So much left to do… We’re over capacity with the damn xenos trying to kill us all…” The baseline slurred, shifting weakly in his arms.

Hagiel’s voice was firm, and brooked no argument “You have a concussion and are badly injured-” His gaze quickly swept over the other’s uniform “-Medicae Smith. You need to be tended to first, before you can care for anyone else. “

The civilian medicae grumbled in his arms, but didn’t try to leave them again, which made Hagiel’s job easier. He also made sure that the civilian didn’t see the large, still-dripping bomb in the middle of the room, not wanting to deal with the potential emotional fall out of that. He gently placed the other down on the waiting stretcher and pulled the other baseline humans who were working on trying to repair the hospital away.

Just in time too, as Hagiel saw a crumbling bit of wall fall from a higher floor of the hospital and land directly on top of the Orcish bomb, causing it to immediately explode in a bright, fiery explosion. Hagiel threw his arms wide and stood between the baselines and the explosion, knowing that his armor could take the heat and shrapnel without difficulty.

Once the after-images of the explosion was blinked out of everyone’s eyes, Hagiel noted grimly that despite the fact that there was now more structural damage done to the hospital… The explosion had cleared several large debris piles that would have taken hours to clear with the tools that the baselines and he had in time.

The Lamenter hadn’t thought that he would be grateful for the years he had spent stuck on Terra, working and training alongside Imperial Fists, but the training that they’d given him on how to build and reinforce all kinds of buildings was incredibly helpful to him as he helped to guide the search and repair efforts of the northern hospital.

By the time it was sunset and the baseline humans were being relieved of their duties in order to eat and rest, with Hagiel’s assistance, the hospital had been fully cleared of debris and into a semi-working order. 

~

Hagiel intended on working for several more hours in the evening before finding a spot to sleep for a small handful of hours in order to recharge. The finely dressed baseline human picking their way through the hospital’s hallways from the click-clack of the heels they were wearing and the quiet, respectful-anxious murmurs of the other baselines as whoever it was walking towards where Hagiel was currently holding in place a large metal pipe as the baselines swiftly put it into place as he easily held it up while they did so. It would take heavy machinery or a half-dozen baselines (or a couple of Ogryn) to do what he was doing by himself, and they needed all the human-power that could be spared getting both semi-functional hospitals up to basic standards in order to help the injured.

“Excuse me, Lord Angel Hagiel?” A voice in slightly accented High Gothic called out as the click-clack of heels came up behind him.

Hagiel shifted a little, making sure that the pipe stayed exactly where it was supposed to as the baselines continued to nail it in place to the freshly reconstructed inner wall. “Yes, Zie…?” He asked as he looked over one shoulder at the sharply dressed baseline standing in the dusty hallway.

Their hair was tightly curly, and was kept in place by dozens if not hundreds of very tight small braids. Gold and platinum bands caught the dying sunlight, as did the golden star sapphire necklace and earring combo they were wearing. They were in shimmering, brightly dyed silks that flowed like water in the slight breeze. He could scent light perfume or cologne clinging to their skin, reminding him of water lilies. “I am Brady Flint, and the Lord Governor asked me to track you down and extend to you an invitation to take your evening meal with him and the other surviving nobles of our fair city - and the greater system. He says that your presence at the dinner would be greatly and deeply appreciated in this.. Fraught times.”

Dealing with whiny nobles bitching at him for not being able to save their worlds fast enough to prevent damage while he could be out doing useful things - or sleeping and recovering his energy and from the injuries he’d sustained in the weeks of non-stop fighting did not appeal to Hagiel in the slightest. Normally when a request like this came to Hagiel and his squad, they would draw lots to see which two of them would have to suffer through that sort of nonsense…

But none of his brothers had survived the battles. They were all in the radiant light of the emperor, serving alongside Lord Sanguinius. His hearts clenched painfully as he said “I will be there if I can make it, when does the dinner start? I am in the middle of helping put this hospital back together.” He pointed out, as the other working baselines kept attaching the huge pipe he was holding to the wall. They were roughly three quarters done with the task. He’d hoped to help them finish getting the central sewer pipes to and from this hospital in proper working order before going to sleep tonight, but alas, that was no longer in the cards. 

“You have an hour and a half to prepare for the dinner. The Lord Governor is extending the use of his home to you to use, in order to clean up, as he’s aware of the relentless battles and clean-up that you’ve nobly thrown yourself into since they called out for Astartes assistance. The dress code is black-tie and he strongly suggests that you allow your power armor to recharge while attending the dinner, if at all possible. Again, the Lord Governor’s mansion is completely functional and able to recharge several Astartes’ power armor, and their retinue of servants are willing and able to clean and service your armor - and weapons while you are out of it, my lord.”  Flint explains, giving him a sharp smile as they spoke. 

HIs armor was in need of cleaning and repair - he’d done what he could between retrieving his brother’s corpses and salvaging what he could of their gear and weapons, placing them on The Resolve… And his weapons weren’t in much better state. He’d done what he could to tend to them, but he was no Tech Marine. While he did not want to be out of armor just yet… He could not refuse the Governor’s generous offers without insulting them and he could not afford to alienate such a powerful political figure in the local star system. “Very well. I think I shall take up the Governor’s generous offer… Although I don’t have much in the way of black-tie clothing, other than my dress uniform, which is on The Resolve.”

“The Governor does have a small selection of Black Tie worthy clothes that are sized to fit most astartes to choose from. However if you’d rather be in your dress uniform, I can have a couple of serfs sent over to the Resolve to fetch if for you, if you wish.” The baseline human offered.

Hagiel had no idea what sort of clothes would be available for him to wear… And given that this system was technically on the far eastern edge of Ultramar, they likely had formal wear for Ultramarines. Which was… Fine… He guessed. He really didn’t want any of these strange baselines on The Resolve without him there to monitor what the fuck they were doing. “I would be grateful for whatever appropriate clothes the Governor feels fit to allow me to borrow for this event. The Resolve is on the far side of the city from his manor, after all, and the city’s roads and infrastructure are in ruins and it might take them quite a bit of time to get to The Resolve.”

“As you wish, Lord Angel.” Flint responds with a small nod “If you would follow me? I will guide you to their mansion.”

“We are finished bolting the sewer pipe in place, lord angel.” One of the baselines on the hospital’s repair crew speak up, dark eyes wide and full of awe, despite the fact that Hagiel has been working with them for several hours. At least the transhuman dread has worn off.

Hagiel nods and says “As you say.” He responds, letting go of the sewer pipe and following the sharply dressed baseline out of the damaged hospital.

[kbrick]

Peak Drarry: Celebrating Incredible Writers - aibidil

Peak Drarry is a series of posts celebrating the absolute treasure trove of talented writers in this fandom, and a reminder of how lucky we are to have them here with us. I’m kicking it off with one of my all-time faves, @aibidil​. 

✨AIBIDIL✨

I’m guessing there are very few people involved in the Drarry fandom who haven’t heard of aibidil. Aibidil has been showering us with quality fic since 2017 and has over sixty offerings on AO3. Her works were some of the first I consumed when I fell headfirst into Drarry during covid, and had a lot to do with my desire to write my own. I still distinctly remember being blown away by A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption, by how aibidil had managed to create such a compelling, funny, and heartfelt fuck-or-die fic, one that stood out from the rest. So, why should you read aibidil’s fic? Here are a few reasons:

They are creative and get you thinking

Sometimes there’s a trope or two thrown into the mix, but even then, the trope is merely a jump-off point into something much bigger. Trope: Ginny and Harry break up and Harry finds solace in and then love with Draco. Aibidil comes along and says, okay, fine, but make the problem Ginny’s unwanted pregnancy, have Harry experience emotional turmoil over that fact (not that Harry-Abandonment-Issues-Should-Be-My-Middle-Name-Potter identifies with an unwanted fetus, no, of course not), have him spend the rest of the story sorting through his complicated feelings, and make the whole thing a testament to reproductive choice (this fic is called (Un)wanted, by the way. It’s incredible). Trope: Malfoy wears a skirt and Harry goes feral. Aibidil’s take? Malfoy wears the skirt because he and Hermione are leading a protest against the gendered, outdated Ministry dress codes (Beards, Booty Shorts, and Binaries).

Abidil’s stories don’t always skew political (although I love when they do), but they always have something to say. In A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption, Draco must come to terms with what it means to love someone, and how consent plays into that (does a lie negate consent?). Truth and love also play a role in When Times Are Dire, when Harry and Draco must pretend to marry to save the world. But is it pretend when they really are joining their lives and families together?

Beyond the deeper moral and ethical questions present in these stories, aibidil’s fic always manages to be creative and interesting. Abidil comes up with some of the most inventive sorts of magic (you really have to read her latest, Always Already, for one of the most thoughtful depictions of magical time travel I’ve ever read). Her premises can be angsty, like what if Astoria tells Scorpius—on her death bed no less—that he is actually Draco’s child with Harry (when by now and tree by leaf)? They can also be downright silly, like what if Draco can’t stop hiccoughing for days (Upside Down, Holding One’s Breath)? But one thing of which you can be certain: they’re never, ever boring.

They’re a master class in characterization

So, aibidil can dream up interesting, different, thought-provoking storylines, yes. But she also gets it right when it comes to characterization. Her Harry and Draco are always recognizable to me, no matter how evolved and changed they’ve become. There is something essential there, something true to the characters we know and love, that is ever present. And I think that’s because aibidil truly empathizes with and cares about her characters. This knack for getting in a character’s headspace means that aibidil is able to create some of the most fully formed, well rounded and realistically portrayed versions of Harry and Draco I’ve read. Whether it’s Harry in When Times are Dire enjoying the way his children sort of take his love for granted (because Harry wants that for them so badly, wants to be a constant, unquestioned source of support in their lives) or Draco in Always Already shoving down his snark in order to be as inoffensive as possible as a sort of penance for the war, you both recognize and feel for these characters. They’re flawed and imperfect, but they’re trying, and you love them for it.

There are moments in aibidil’s fic that leave me breathless because of how well they nail down the essence of a character in just a few words, or a single exchange or situation. For instance, in When Times Are Dire, Draco and Harry take a trip to the zoo and Draco buys Harry an absurdly enormous ice cream sundae after Harry recalls a time his aunt and uncle bought one for Dudley but not him. “Harry found himself at a loss for words,” aibidil writes. “He thought he’d worked through his childhood zoo issues. He’d been here so many times as an adult, without the abuse of the Dursleys. He had so many wonderful memories here, so many trips with his kids. But no one had ever bought Harry an ice cream before [emphasis mine].” The way Draco understands Harry, and the way he helps Harry to understand something about himself in such an everyday sort of scene is beautiful.

In Pure Imagination, Harry and Draco, experiencing depression after the war, are given a potion that allows them to tap into their imaginations completely, the way a child would. They have an excellent time on the potion together, imagining all sorts of things, including taking a trip to a Muggle skate park (together), which they agree to do at a later date. But afterward, Harry retreats and doesn’t go to the skate park (a decision that gives us incredible insight into the Harry of this story, come to think of it). In their joint trip to the counselor’s office later, Draco tells the counselor that imagination is dangerous because it opens people up to disappointment. “It’s smart that I don’t allow myself delusions like thinking I can somehow have a fulfilling career, even given my past,” he says. “It’s smart that I don’t allow myself the delusion of thinking Potter might want to spend time with me when he’s not high on a fucking imagination potion.”

And doesn’t this cut right to the heart of Draco? Whether he’s being cruel the way he was in canon, or being cool and indifferent, the way he is at the beginning of Pure Imagination, he is someone who struggles to believe in his own self-worth, and has found an entire arsenal’s worth of methods to hide this fact, even, sometimes, from himself. 

They’re just so damn funny

And finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the absolute best things about aibidil’s stories. Because on top of incredible storylines and beautiful character work, aibidil is fucking hilarious. I don’t think I’ve ever read through anything of hers without laughing out loud. Oftentimes, the humor is situational, like in When Times Are Dire when Harry and Draco tell their children that they’re in a relationship (when they’re actually not) and proceed to have one of the most awkward exchanges of all time with them, which leads to Harry clarifying that they are together ‘sexually’ (He says that. To his children.). Or in Auld Acquaintance, when Harry comes through the floo looking like a teenager and Draco finds himself torn between the ghost of attraction his own teenaged self had for this version of Harry and the fact that to his mature, grandfatherly eye, Harry looks “doughy…like an underbaked infant.” Or in Starve Your Distractions, Feed Your Focus, when a coupled-up Harry and Draco have to work out with a very sexy Neville, who is wearing joggers that leave little to the imagination.

Sometimes, though, the hilarity is in the form of amazing dialogue (her Harry and Draco banter is always top-tier) or of others’ observations of the Drarry dynamic, like when Neville says (in Always Already) this about Harry and Draco’s teasing of one another: “Don't mind them. It's like their little traumatised child-warrior foreplay or something.” Aibidil is always aware of the story she’s telling, and of the Drarry-ness of it all. These are not simple men, and theirs is never a typical, simple relationship, and you know what? That can be funny. As Harry says in When Times are Dire: "Ah yes. I'm a cheap date. All it takes to get me in bed is to almost kill each other, survive a war together, work together over decades, have children who fall in love and get married, get married for political reasons, pretend to be in love for two years to all friends and relatives, become grandparents together, and take a controlled substance to open up enough to tell each other the truth. That's all."

See? Easy.

Finally, I shouldn’t leave out the fact that aibidil’s acronyms are the best of all time (her most recent fic’s C.O.C.K. is my new favorite, but there are oodles of excellent ones).

Recommended For…

Everyone. Listen, if you enjoy laughing, or exciting and original storylines, or fic that makes you think, or fic that reveals the beating hearts of our favorite characters, aibidil’s catalog of work is for you. There is angst in places, there is smut in places, but that’s not really the point of her fic. The point is the journey, the character development, and the ridiculous amount of joy and energy contained in all of these stories. Here are a few you might want to check out, but honestly, you can’t go wrong with anything she’s written.

Top 3 Fics Over 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Dating for Dads in Denial (25k) - In which one wizard designs and another reluctantly patronises a magical matchmaking service, amidst the chaos of children and parenting.

when by now and tree by leaf (46k) - When Scorpius Malfoy is saying goodbye to his dying mother, he doesn't expect to hear her confess, "Your father slept with another man and became pregnant with you." 

Moldova’s Magical Tea (32k) - Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and—to everyone’s surprise—Draco Malfoy are opening a magical tea shop to revive wizarding tea culture. Harry, who is unemployed and trying to find his way in post-war society, wants to help his friends with their new business—but that means spending a lot of time around Malfoy. 

Top 3 Fics Under 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Back to You (8k) - The eighth years make Harry and Malfoy go head to head and back to back in a question-and-answer drinking game. The worst that can happen is they end up drunk, right?

The Usual (9k) - Harry finally tries the new magical coffee shop on Diagon Alley. A story in which Draco is Up To Something™ and Harry is going to get to the bottom of it, and to the bottom of that sixteen ounce to-go cup.

Beards, Booty Shorts, and Binaries (9k) - Harry was hoping for a quiet day at the office, but Hermione and Draco are waging a war on discrimination with beards and skirts.

Kbrick’s Picks (in order of obsession)

When Times Are Dire (130k) - Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.

Always Already (170k) -  It's 2004: Harry teaches primary school and loves his job and friends; It's 1980: Harry has to fight Voldemort, again; It's 2004: Draco is a trainee Healer and reformed member of society; It's 1980: Draco has to face his father's cruelty; It's 2004: Harry and Draco definitely aren't lonely or depressed or traumatised; It's 1980: Harry and Draco listen to Kate Bush and watch Dallas and drive a 1979 Ford Cortina; It's 2004, it's 1980, it's...

Pure Imagination (15k) - An eighth-year tale of depressed happiness, reluctant imagination, and conflicted hope. And skateboarding.

.

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Glad someone acknowledges that what Mabel did is morally reprehensible, and what bothers me is people defend it by saying "she's 12". I mean idk about ya'll but when I was 12 I wasn't risking my family's lives to a nightmare demon for a dude, I was doing my fuckin homework lmfao.

I love Gravity Falls to death but the way they turned Mabel from a silly kid to an actual horrible person speaks to how badly the writers can't write female characters to save their pissholes, and fans defending that shit annoy me to no end. They do the exact same thing when the fucked up shit Princess Bubblegum did is brought up

I’m gonna co-opt this ask because this lets me talk about two things regarding criticism that I find really interesting in the internet world-that being “perception of wrongness” and “heart moments”.

Perception of Wrongness:

I can actually understand why people had a hard time calling Mabel poorly written by the end of series, because this is a trend that happens a lot when talking about media criticism as a whole, and it is the subconscious concern that one is going to be perceived as morally wrong for taking umbrage with a character or product that concerns a well poisoned topic.

Mabel is a girl. And because Mabel is a girl, there was no shortage of bad faith arguments regarding Mabel from episode 1 on as being anything from obnoxious to a Mary Sue to an actively bad person (before doing anything that one could call actually wrong).

So, when a fandom space is poisoned by arguments that boil down to “Mabel is a girl and I hate women”, people have a tendency to overcorrect in the other direction and decide that the character is without flaw.

You actually see this a lot with the infamous movie “Fight Club”, which garnered a fanbase of pathetic Andrew Tate wannabes slobbering on Tyler Durden’s knob. So now if someone (especially a guy) says they like the movie most peoples reaction is immediate disgust even though the movie itself is a blatant critique on toxic masculinity based on a book written by a gay man inspired by a hate crime he was a victim of. Well poisoned arguments made the thing poison, so anyone who touches it must be a poisoner. You don’t want to be perceived as condoning the the former-perceived as morally wrong.

I myself had issues with this actually, leading up to Nathan and I watching through the MCU I had an instinctive reaction to be disdainful of his opinion that Captain Marvel was a bad film even though I know Nathan is one of the most “girl movie” positive people on the planet. When we talked about the movie as we watched it it became clear that the problem was that Carol didn’t get to be a cool superhero because they spent so much of the movie proving she “deserved” a spot in the MCU when none of the other heroes needing such proof. Which I agreed with!

It’s hard to untrained yourself from internet discourse brain, but you’ll be better for the trouble if you do so.

On the other side of the creator/consumer spectrum!

Heart Moments:

Creators love the things they make. That is an obvious and redundant statement. But the love of that creation goes through a lot of changes. We’ve talked before about how creators will often insert characters from early drafts of projects into the final product even if the product doesn’t fit with them anymore (see Hunter from TOH), but we don’t talk as much about a similar phenomenon wherein a creator has a burst of inspiration and they can see so perfectly a moment in time for their art that rests heavy on their heart.

This moment could be a cool shot, an impressive piece of cinematography or animation, an actor giving a specific delivery, or a line you want more than anything. But as you write that moment is no longer viable. It doesn’t fit with the greater piece or writes a character out of character.

This is what happened with Mabel in Sock Opera. Alex saw the ability to have Bill say a line about siblings and sacrifice, which would allow one of the twins to say a big line that when the Stan twist was revealed everyone would go “OHHHHH SHIT SO WHEN HE ASKED WHY SOMEONE WOULD SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR A SIBLING AND SHE SAID DIPPER WOULD IT WAS ACTUALLY A PARALLEL AND-“. Mabel and the ramifications of the scene to make that heart moment realized were disregarded in its addition.

I actually noticed this for the first time in a Rooster Teeth show I’m fond of called “Camp Camp”. In the 4th season, fan darling David has a solo adventure in “The Forest” where he’s lost in the woods and struggles to survive leading to a nervous breakdown wherein he near kills a wolf, decides against it, and learns a lesson about the importance of kindness in the face of misery.

Problem being that if you know the show at all, David is literally the worst person to do this episode with. David is not only a skilled and experienced outdoorsman who made it his life goal to become a camp counselor as a child and loves the woods, but he’s also the only character who’s primary trait in unrepentant kindness to anyone no matter the cost. To the point that it’s actually his largest vice as it gets him and his loved ones in dangerous situations.

But nobody cared because David has a breakdown was something that looked good in gif sets. It was an episode built around a “Heart Moment”-this one being everyone’s favorite blorbo screaming and crying while emotionally collapsing. And that was a Rooster Teeth cartoon that’s messy as hell-Gravity Falls is groundbreaking shit! But both still suffered at the same root issue.

It’s hard to let go of the scenes on your heart. When the thing you’re creating means so much to you, and that part of it rests on your heart so heavy, it’s hard to bring yourself to remove the latter. But you have to ask if the character you worked so hard to bring to life is worth potentially sacrificing to get that one moment off your heart.

[heartpascal]

[SPOILERS FOR TLOU PT2]

so i was listening to "the other side" by ruelle and "wait for it" by leslie odom jr. and had this depressing thought regarding that maybe bonus scene of "if the door wasn't shut" series but like- what if it was reader who abby kills instead of joel? hear me out but- joel killed her father right? and probably made her go through sm pain and grief right? so what if somehow she finds out how much reader means to joel.

"did we ever see it coming?

will we ever let it go?"

and blinded by her need for revenge, she 🏌️ the reader instead, wanting joel to feel the same pain and grief she feels and twists the knife even deeper saying that her death is on him. the reader who didn't even go with them and had no idea what even happened in that hospital and absolutely had no part of it was killed because of him. that her death will be on his conscience. she was just someone who was caught in the crossfire because of her relations with joel and ellie.

"i don't want to lose part of me,

will i recover?"

and joel, ellie, and tommy just watches her get 🏌️ by abby. i'm- IMAGINE THE PAIN TOMMY AND MARIA WILL GO THROUGH 😭😭😭😭 reader whom they basically raised as their own just gets killed just like that 😭 maria gonna lose another child 😭 AND READER'S SHOP IS JUST BURIED IN FLOWERS 😭😭😭

"i don't want to know what it's like to live without you,

don't want to know the other side of a world without you."

what's even more depressing is that she's still young and still had a life ahead of her and it's just cut short because the world is cruel just like that. (especially in the tlou universe cough)

"death doesn't discriminate,

between the sinners and the saints,

it takes and it takes and it takes."

and joel just breaking and wondering why he's still when so many people that he has know and cared and loved has left him (i'm going for the sarah's mom left route and tommy leaving joel to join the fireflies) or died (sarah, tess, bill, frank, sam, henry, and now reader) AND WHAT IF THEY JUST MADE UP TOO?!?! I CAN'T- 😭😭😭

"(and we keep living anyway),

we rise (and we fall),

we fall (and we break),

(and we make our mistakes),

and if there's a reason i'm still alive,

when so many have died."

might go back to this if ive thought of even more but for now i'm ending this here and gonna cry about it 😭😭

THE LAST OF US PART 2 SPOILERS!

howl you have HURT me with this one. so badly. my heart hurts. i’m gonna add my thoughts hope this is ok <3

FIRST. LETS TALK ABOUT THE SONGS. especially the other side by ruelle?? HELLO??? “i don’t want to leave here without you” …. stop it. i’m in so much pain. “i don’t want to know what it’s like to live without you” SCREAMING. this hurts me so much and it fits for all of the characters AND AND “i don’t want to know who we are without each other” i cant do this today howl i really cant. it’s interchangeable between the scenarios as well i-

“and if there’s a reason i’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died” stop. i’m gonna cry and shout and sob and yell.

lets think about this scenario, shall we?

warning: graphic content, death, weapons, blood, canon-typical, grief, aftermath of r dying. you should know what’s happened if you’ve come past the keep reading thingy. pls read at your own risk <3 its not written as a proper fic/drabble (although there’s an idea) but still, be careful of the content you consume !!!!

lets say that reader and jesse were partnered up to take joel and tommy off of patrol. lets say that reader is fucking terrified when the miller bros don’t show up. lets say that jesse agrees to go and find dina and ellie while reader goes ahead to look for joel and tommy, fearing the worst.

lets say reader hears that gunshot, and rushes in, guns blazing. lets say she shoots owen in the shoulder when she pushes the door open, because he’s the first person she sees. lets say manny takes her down, gets her gun off of her, while joel is yelling as he realises who it is.

lets say joel is yelling, “get your hands off of her” and “don’t you touch her” while the others hold him down, tommy already knocked flat out. lets say abby is stood there, looking between you baring your teeth as you’re held down by manny and joel yelling for you. lets say she’s angry, she’s angrier than she’s ever been. lets say that she looks at you and sees herself, and she looks to joel only to see what he took from her.

lets say reader is looking at joel, at his leg that’s almost beyond saving, lets say reader is praying that jesse, dina and ellie are quick. she’s sure that if they got here soon, the four of you could get the upper hand. joel would be okay, if only the others were quick.

lets say abby looks at joel one more time, and spits “move him”, and she looks to reader while the others pull joel away, while he’s kicking and screaming the whole way.

lets say they pull reader over towards the wall, all looking at abby nervously.

lets say when she swings at reader’s head the first time, she’s still struggling, looking over to joel as one of the group hits him across the head with their gun. lets say the second time, she goes down, and they don’t need to hold reader against the wall anymore.

“don’t,” reader would say, “please, i-” lets say abby hitting her again would cut anything else off, and some of the group have to rush to the door when it opens, and reader blinks bleary eyes over to see ellie, and almost sighs with relief until she’s taken down.

lets say reader waits, vision swimming, to hear or maybe see jesse and dina come through the doorway, guns blazing. lets say reader tries not to cry when they don’t come.

“stop it! she had nothing to do with this” ellie would say, despite not knowing why the group was here, why they were doing this. “i’ll kill you, i’ll fucking kill you! stop,” she would be begging, pleading, as they hold her head against the floor, lets say she’d try and pull away, try and get to reader as abby would swing again.

lets say joel hears ellie scream as he starts to wake up, his first and only image being reader with her face covered in blood and- they hit him across the head again, and he’s out.

lets say jesse and dina come, and dina almost doesn’t shout for jesse to come down. lets say jesse almost passes out when he pushes the wooden door open. lets say that he shouts, and he’s on his knees beside reader in a second, not touching, hands just hovering, and lets say he doesn’t know what to do. lets say he holds in his tears as he turns to where tommy is blinking into consciousness. lets say he blocks the man’s view of you until he’s pushed aside.

lets not say how joel is unresponsive when he wakes up, even though dina had pulled a sheet to cover the sight in front of him, lets not say that none of them can get him to speak even when they pull him up, on his half-fucked leg, tourniquet wrapped around his thigh from the very group who had-

here’s what we shouldn’t think about this situation!

lets not think about tommy having to go home to maria, to his son, and look her in the face to tell her what happened. lets not think about maria demanding to see reader, demanding for someone to tell her it’s not fucking true.

lets not think about how joel can’t be there when reader is buried, stuck in the infirmary, because he’s alive. he’s alive and reader isn’t. lets not think about that.

lets not think about how jesse would blame himself, would never forgive himself for letting her go searching alone, how he would carry that blame forever.

lets not think about ellie sitting in reader’s shop, looking at the clay reader had set out that morning, ready for when she’d be home later on in the evening. lets not think about all the flowers that would be laying outside of the shop, obscuring ellie’s view out of the windows.

lets not think about tommy leaving maria when she needed him most.

lets not think about ellie and dina going after him.

lets not think about joel, finally being let out of the infirmary, heading back to Rancher Street, not knowing what else to do. lets not think about joel being completely despondent, about him finding the mug that reader had made sat on the counter from the coffee he’d had in it just before he had gone on patrol.

lets not think about joel finding out his whole family has gone to avenge reader, when its his fault she’s gone. lets not think about him limping to the stables, demanding to go after them. lets not think about jesse helping him sneak away.

lets not think actually.

(i could add more to this. expand on other things that could happen in this situation. but. i’m sad. i will if yall want tho >:])

[stormyoceans]

I can't stop listening to the opening of FNoL. It's such an incredible song! I can't remember the last time I didn't skip the opening credits. Those moles on Neil's face! his pleasant voice! (Charles, damn it why don't you sing in all your series!) Xiao Hai's sweet encouraging smile! Their bickering over coffee! Ooooo I'm sooo drowned in this show! But 20 minutes Carl!!!!! Monica thank you for telling me about this series. I feel such an unprecedented surge of love inside me💜🎉

THE WAY I WAS SO SURPRISED AND EXCITED TO GET A FIRST NOTE OF LOVE MESSAGE THAT I BUMPED MY KNEE INTO MY DESK AND ACTUALLY SAW THE PROVERBIAL STARS FSDHFKJDGSFJGSDJ WORTH IT TBH

BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM SOOOOO HAPPY YOU STARTED THE SHOW AND THAT YOU’RE LIKING IT ANON!!!!!!!!!!

i could not agree with you more about the opening song, it’s just SO GOOD, but to be fair im so in love with the entire soundtrack of this show, i’ve had it on repeat for a whole week and i still haven’t gotten tired of it!!!!! the song neil sings the very first time he meets xiao hai as a kid is probably my favorite rn, just because i ADORE charles’ voice and that scene in episode 2 with the juxtaposition of neil and xiao hai playing it (LITERALLY GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS), but again, all the songs are amazing and i think you really can tell that they took a lot of care in making the music for the series. the other night i actually watched this small featurette about it and i love that they worked so hard on the physicality of the actors while they sing and play the instruments too!!!!!!

the funniest thing is. i honestly still have no idea why this series got me so badly, especially since i have a very complicated relationship with taiwanese BLs and im not particularly into age gaps, but for some reason the dynamic between neil and xiao hai just works SO MUCH for me!!!!!! and im once again reminded how subjective chemistry is because i’ve seen a lot of comments saying that charles and michael don’t really have it, or that they have only a platonic kind of chemistry, meanwhile im sitting here clawing at the curtains and climbing the walls of my apartment every time they look at each other because michael as xiao hai has these moments where he’s giving such ‘you were my sexual awakening and i haven’t had a single chaste thought about you since forever’ energies when he’s around neil, meanwhile charles has clearly gone to the jimmy jitaraphol’s school of looking at your co-star with a love so all consuming and full of adoration and a devotion so palpable and plain to see it drives people to the brink of suicide (IT’S ME IM PEOPLE)

and much to my embarrassment i could actually go on rambling about this show for a few more hours but im shutting up rn because this already got way too long ;;;;;;;; BUT YEAH THE EPISODES BEING SO SHORT REALLY IS THE ONLY NEGATIVE THING ABOUT IT (i wanted to watch episode 5 on company's time but I NEED TO MAKE THOSE 20 MINUTES LAST)

HOPING AND PRAYING AND MANIFESTING IT WILL KEEP BEING THIS GOOD UNTIL THE END

[freyjas-musings]

I don’t get why people say elains book is safe the next ? Sjm said she will write for all sisters but she never said they will come out right after the other? And for why she didn’t said yes immediately after asked if we know elains love interest and said it would be lucien, well why would she? What author already tells people what is going to happen in their book before it even comes out?

Its not obvious to me that elain will be next because in the last acotar book their was more of azriel and gwyn then elain?

Nesta and cassian had a bonas chapter and they got their book, azriel has a bonas with both elain and gwyn but who in their right mind still thinks az an elain are “soulmates” after that bonus chapter. The whole time i got the ick while reading how he behaved will elain it was just fuckboh behavior. Rhys is his brother i think id azriel would be sooo in love with elain he would find a way for them? But azriel couldn’t even say anything, he didn’t think about a future with her, just where he pleasures himself to the thought of her and who does that? Fuckboys who don’t want a future with someone sorry but i wouldn’t want to date someone who thinks like that about me.

Sorry for rambling but i just had to get that of my chest 😂😂

Elain hasn't been set up enough to have the next book , I am not sure what popular stuff people are on these days but it must be potent in order to come to that hallucination but its really ok , it's not the worst assumption or theory out there. People can assume whatever they want and have fun while it lasts .

Personally I believe it will be Azriel's book. I often have people trying to pull me into debates but its just obvious its silly to argue about it.

Also, I do condemn Azriels thoughts on Elain in the bonus , it's never ok to treat anyone like an object you feel entitled to. It's still beyond me how someone can read that bonus and think it's romantic, reading badly written books and inexperience in life would explain it though. Clearly they both barely know each other and its not love . As an Azriel stan I would like Az to find that epic , intense , all consuming love that doesn't need to be hidden , for a guy that was locked away as a child for 11 years like some dirty secret it would just not make sense that he has to be a part of " forbidden romance " its just cruel.

Also, I think this fandom takes it too far with the "Fuckboy" image of Az , he is desparate and lonely , he also has a whole lot of unresolved trauma that has left him feeling rejected all his life, Elain lead him on , made her interest obvious so he would obviously think it was worth a shot. I don't think Az even knows what a healthy relationship looks like and Elain clearly has her own set of issues she is dealing with , they are at the best each others rebound.

What makes Az look worse is the fact that SJM changed from a Moriel endgame in ACOMAF which compromises the way the characters look in ACOWAR and I mean both Az and Mor. I am hoping after his book some of that will be amended.

Azriel is a grey character but he certainly is a lot more interesting compared to some other characters from the series who often seem very one dimensional and lack complexity and depth and seriously lack appeal . I truly believe Azriels story will the most intriguing, complex and satisfying journeys and I look forward to it .

And as for the whole Elain book or Az book? As long as people realise it's one OR the other who cares ? We will eventually get both the Gwynriel and Elucien book 🤗

[shootingstarpilot]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @merlyn-bane!

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

Eight!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

217,911

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

*sobbing* Star Wars, my beloved. The brainrot is real; I am consumed. When I was still on FF.net, though, I had stuff up in Harry Potter and How to Train Your Dragon.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

back then, i was dauntless

how to bring him home

if i don't make it back (from where i've gone)

though some would harm you

like lightning changing hands

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I absolutely do! I feel bad because I know I've gotten some lovely comments on chapters that aren't the most recent one, and those tend to get lost in the inbox, but I promise I'm working on it- if you get a response from a comment you left a year and a half ago, don't hold it against me 😅

I do it because I want so badly to build community here! I love getting comments from people, responding to something with a wee hint of a tease because I'm AWFUL and then getting a keysmash of a response and then exchanging snippets in the comments, truly, it fills me with delight- and I've met some absolutely wonderful people who I got introduced to by responding to comments-

Anyway. Community. That.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh. Hm. Hm.

I... guess it would have to be though some would harm you? Although I'm not sure if I feel confident in that designation, because it's very much part of a multi-work series. And I'm too much of a sucker for happy endings to write a stand-alone fic that doesn't have one, I think.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, neural plasticity, for sure! Short and sweet <3

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

A bit. I can brush off the "actually the Jedi were the real monsters" assholes easily enough, but honestly, the comments that hit the hardest are the ones that clearly come from people who think they're offering ✨constructive criticism.✨ Not only because I didn't ask for it, but also because saying my work is "fatiguing" or "I'm sure there's a decent story here, but it's being buried under what you're trying to do with it-" there's nothing constructive there.

Side note: the person who left that last comment deleted it about half an hour later, because when I went to reply, it had vanished from my inbox. I don't know if they did that because they didn't want me to be able to reply, or if they realized that what they said was unhelpful and mean, but if they ever happen to see this-

I still got the email, prick.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Write? No, I haven't quite worked up the panache to try. Reading, on the other hand...

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do have snippets of one crossover that I actually posted in an anonymous collection, ha- an old BBC Merlin/ Good Omens/ Supernatural fic that I dug out of my old documents. Other than that, no- unless you count the Prequels and the Clone Wars as different enough to qualify as a crossover.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I know of- very much open to it, though!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Since I don't think taking drabbles in tumblr chats to ridiculous lengths counts, I'd have to say no- I'd like to, though!

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Codywan. Fiercely, unwaveringly Codywan.

Just to reinforce this- 292 of my bookmarks consist of Cody/Obi-Wan. The next most common romantic pairing (Aziraphale/Crowley) has less than half that, at 121.

I'm a goner, and I can't even bring myself to regret it.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

OKAY SO I've written snippets of a modern AU focusing on Helix, Needle and Stitch, and I'm totally gonna take this opportunity to rage about it. I'm probably never gonna finish it, but it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling, so, hey- what else is fic for, really, if not for indulging yourself?

At first, it's just Needle and Stitch. It's just been the two of them, for as long as Stitch can remember. Needle's only a few years older than him, but he's raised him, kept him in school, kept a roof over their heads and food on the table-

Food on Stitch's plate, at least.

Then, one night, Needle does not come home.

A hit-and-run, the nurse tells him, although the words will not trickle through until much later. A coma.

He will not, they say patiently, come home for some time.

(There is so much that needs doing.)

Helix, meanwhile, is studying physical therapy at the local community college and working part-time at his brother Ace's bakery.

It's during one of these shifts that a skinny little twerp comes in and hands him a job application.

(Rent and bills and Needle Needle Needle-)

It doesn't take Helix long to realize something is... off.

Ace tells him not to push it, but-

The kid's a good worker. Great, as a matter of fact. He's never late. Stays past closing, too, if they've had a rush. He tells Helix about his brother and nothing else.

(His brother hasn't come to visit.)

Everything that's not sold at the end of the day gets packaged up and given out. They only toss in the dumpster what's really, truly inedible- stuff that got dropped in the kitchen, scraps left over from customers-

He thinks it's raccoons, at first, until he peers in and sees Stitch flatten himself against a heap of bags in the corner.

They package up leftovers for him, after that. A bit more than leftovers, maybe. Ace sets aside sandwiches. Helix buys him a thermos and tells him it's been in the lost and found for over a year. They make sure he eats.

(Needle's getting transferred out of the ICU.)

Stitch is trying. He's doing everything he can, and more besides. But Needle's life is too expensive and he's buckling under the weight.

(He hasn't even grieved. Not really. No room. No time.)

Eventually, something has to give.

He does.

(He hadn't expected someone to be there to catch him.)

Featuring:

Helix stumbling into adopting first one, then two idiot kids

Ace being a supportive brother

Needle finding his way home

Mace Windu as Needle's (unfairly attractive, Helix thinks) neurologist

Obi-Wan as a hospital social worker who gets assigned Needle's file

Cody as Obi-Wan's husband, Helix's cousin, and children's book author (Stitch's favorite)

(listen I am WEAK for author!Cody, truly)

(Helix was totally the one who got them together and he regrets it every day of his life.)

Sheev Palpatine as the epitome of the evil of the American healthcare system

The Melidaan crew running a long-term, non-profit care facility that offers both in-patient and out-patient rehab services

16.) What are your writing strengths?

(I'VE PUT TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS. SHIT.)

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I am, apparently, really good at writing breakdowns. >:3

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Dialogue does not come easily to me. I have to work a bit to hit my stride. But I think it turns out well enough!

Hm. Coming from a purely technical perspective here, I think the reader should be able to understand everything that's spoken in a fic. If a character says something in another language, then I think the best way to convey that is, "X muttered something Y didn't catch," or, if the listener recognizes that it's at least in another language, "X muttered something in French."

If the reader should understand it, then something along the lines of: "'I knew we shouldn't have trusted him,' X muttered in French."

If the POV character doesn't understand the language, it doesn't make sense to provide the reader with a perfect transliteration of what the other character is saying. The character wouldn't have that knowledge. It can really take me out of the fic when two characters suddenly start conversing in written-out sentences in another language, and I have to scroll all the way down to the footnotes for translations.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

But then again, that's just my opinion- I'm sure others have their own thoughts on this!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Harry Potter.

Hell, I have to say like lightning changing hands, if only because whatever fic I'm writing at the moment is my favorite. It's the act of creation that does it for me!

(Also because it's such a good opportunity to explore so many relationship dynamics.)

No-pressure tags for @jedi-enthusiast, @themonopolyhat, @shadow-pixelle, and @foreverchangingfandomsao3!