taymorymexico

[theroundbartable]

Okay, if you were asked who are in Merlin BBC & Voltron that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they? Why?

What a fun ask I'm totally not doing to procastinate on cooking... XD

BBC Merlin

Arthur Pendragon is, in my head, demiromantic and bisexual... It sort of depends on the circumstances/episode. Arthur needs a very long time to really feel connections with people and only starts to consider love after he really gets to know them, hence his constant search for true love in the show. With Merlin I'm not entirely sure if he was attracted to him instantly, strangely enough feeling a connection from the moment they met, or if it takes him till the end of the series when Merlin confesses his magic and finally shows his true self to realise the depth of his feelings.

Merlin is, well... Bi Bi Bi. A disaster bi in fact. With a preference for sweaty men in metal boxes, he's not very peculiar. However, Merlin is a one person hyperfixation kind of guy. Most people are convinced that Merlin's gay.

Gwen: I feel like most people in BBC Merlin are bi and Gwen is no exception. Like Merlin, she prefers the hero type in metal uniforms. But she also had a thing for Morgana in the beginning.

Morgana: lesbian. I have never seen a woman so disinterested in men, I'm not surprised that they casted Katie McGrath in supergirl as supergirls love interest. I might settle for homoromantic and asexual. But definitly in love with Gwen in the very beginning.

Sir Leon, my beloved, the immortal, the one and only, the eternal suffering aro/ace. I don't have to explain this one. The only counter moment is the Lamia episode where Leon suddenly develops interest in women out of nowhere. My personal take is that anyone could be fallen under a Lamia's spell, this one just had a taste for men (and male presenting).

Sir Elian: once upon a time I clocked them as nonbinary and sadly that's as far as I thought into this character. Pretty sure he's aromantic. He/they pronouns. I dunno, I don't think Elian would conform to anything if given a choice. Aromantic too, I think. Like Leon, there is no interest there, but he does play around with Percival and Gwaine quite often, so I'd take that as allosexual.

I am excluding Gwaine because I think canon Gwaine is written as a straight oblivious fuckboy. Albeit a kind one XD fanon Gwaine is often poly/ pan... Or into apples. Lmao XD and I'm not sure about Percival because the man has a dead wife and kids.

Voltron

Keith: with his lack of interest in women, he can only be gay. That man looks at no one quite the same as he looks at Lance. what the hell was the whole bonding thing if not a hint for post canon klance? Sorry, not sorry XD rivals to best friends to lovers.

Lance: *bi bo bi* bisexual lighting Lance. Doesn't matter if you prefer klance or shallura, this man is a walking bi flag. I don't know what you mean by proof, just look at this wiggly boy with the fingerguns. He can't even sit straight! Can't do math either. He's perfect!

Shiro: probably the only character in my entire history of shipping that I would unqueer without feeling bad about it. I know he's gay, I just don't really see it in the writing. Of course there aren't always clear signs that someone is gay which is why this is good rep actually (+he's married), but you asked me for proof in the show and all I see is that this man is a dad. That's his gender and his orientation and that's all I really need to know.

Pidge: aro/ace because I love my aroaces and this child loves robots and robots only. Also nonbinary/genderqueer. Pronouns: fuck/off XD

I think Lotor should have been bi. Pre-canon Lotor had us Langsters ship Lotor x Lance and it was so much fun :D

Bob: gender: evil, orientation: villain. I hate this guy

Coran: the georgous man is either gay or pan. More likely pan because I vaguely remember he had a son?

I hope I answered your question reasonably enough XD thank you for the ask, anon :3

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Adam Zivo

Published: Nov 30, 2023

Given the chance, Hamas would murder every LGBTQ person in the world

Amid renewed conflict in Gaza, a startling number of queer progressives are romanticizing Palestinians and playing down their hatred towards LGBTQ people. This whitewashing is wrong, no matter how legitimate Palestinian calls for self-determination may be.

Since the early 2000s, radical queer activists have fervently advocated for Palestinian rights under the assumption that, as both communities oppose the capitalist West, “queer liberation” cannot be disentangled from “anti-imperialism.”

This has never made much sense. Strategically aligning against a shared enemy does not necessarily make two groups friends. There are obvious tensions between Palestinians and the LGBTQ community that cannot be ignored — mainly the fact that most Palestinians, along with their political leaders, hate gay and trans people and many want them dead.

In a 2019 poll conducted by the BBC, only five per cent of Palestinians in the West Bank approved of homosexuality — which was the lowest rate within the Middle East and North Africa. Gazans are generally excluded from this research, but local Islamic law mandates death or 10 years of imprisonment for homosexuality.

LGBTQ people face such dire threats to their safety in Gaza and the West Bank that hundreds have fled to Israel as refugees. When interviewed by the United Nations, escapees have recounted harrowing torture and death threats from both family members and Palestinian security forces. Yet even abroad, these people are not safe. Last year, Ahmad Abu Marhia, a 25-year-old gay man living under asylum in Israel, was kidnapped and then beheaded in the West Bank just two months before he was scheduled to immigrate to Canada.

Despite this, activists throughout the West have paraded signs bearing the message “Queers for Palestine” — a slogan that some have ridiculed as the equivalent of “Chickens for KFC.” Earlier this month a banner was hung in the University of British Columbia reading: “Trans liberation can’t happen without Palestinian liberation.”

It’s unclear why LGBTQ rights are in any way dependent on Palestinian self-determination — activist explanations here tend to be vague and muddled at best.

Is the argument that no disadvantaged social group can be free until all are? If that’s the case, then why is this logic rarely, if ever, applied to antisemitism? And if all disadvantaged groups need support, then why should any LGBTQ person, who has limited resources and time, prioritize the Palestinians over the many other communities fighting for rights and attention in the world today?

While LGBTQ people have no special obligation to support Palestinians, there is nothing wrong with defending Palestinians’ fundamental rights despite their rampant homophobia — the validity of these rights is not conditional on moral perfection, after all. If a gay man can support Afghan and Iranian women, or Uyghur Muslims, all of whom have their own prejudices, then Palestinians can be reasonably supported as well.

Deciding what social causes to support is a deeply personal choice for anyone — some LGBTQ people prioritize Palestinians, and others don’t. Each option is understandable, but which path one chooses to take should, ideally, be based on accurate information.

Rather than allow this, though, the queer left uses misleading arguments to inflate support for the Palestinian cause — firstly, by fabricating an artificial obligation to Palestinian liberation, and, secondly, by playing down the severity of Palestinian homophobia (and, by extension, Islamic homophobia).

Queer leftists are quick to argue that the Qur’an’s language on homosexuality is ambiguous, while ignoring the fact that the hadiths, which are the canonical teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, explicitly prohibit homosexuality. Muslim-majority countries do not pass discriminatory legislation arbitrarily — they work off mainstream interpretations of Shariah law.

Some queer leftists try to exonerate Palestinians of any moral responsibility for their homophobia by blaming western colonialism. To make this argument, they typically fixate on the fact that legal prohibitions on homosexuality were first introduced into the region by the British in 1936.

But the British ruled this part of the Middle East for only 30 years (from 1918 to 1948) and implemented sodomy laws for barely more than a decade. Palestinians have had 75 years to improve their attitudes and laws, but haven’t done so and show no desire for change — even though the Israelis, who also inherited these laws, were able to shed this baggage decades ago.

To blame contemporary Palestinian homophobia on a relatively brief, long-dead period of colonial rule is inane and patronizing. It implies that the Palestinians have no moral agency; that their beliefs and institutions are simply dictated by western policy choices; and that they are incapable of being held to the same ethical standards as Europeans.

Another minimization strategy is to argue that Islamic homophobia is not much worse than what is experienced in the West. For example, world-famous drag queen Katya Zamolodchikova (an Irish-American who cosplays as a Soviet citizen) recently claimed on X that anti-LGBTQ violence in Gaza is comparable to that in Scotland or Massachusetts. The post went viral and was liked over 140,000 times.

The last time I checked, gay people are not beheaded or routinely tortured in the West. While some anti-LGTBQ violence exists, only very coddled westerners can delude themselves into believing that this is similar to what occurs in Gaza, the West Bank or the rest of the Islamic world.

Some queer leftists also nonsensically claim that criticizing Palestinian homophobia “erases the existence of queer Palestinians” — but absolutely no one, except maybe Hamas, is saying that LGBTQ Palestinians don’t exist. Calling attention to social prejudice actually spotlights victims who would otherwise be forgotten. This should be glaringly obvious.

The queer left’s tendency to romanticize Palestinians and ignore their homophobia may seem strange at first, but it becomes intelligible when one remembers that this crowd often subscribes to a strain of “anti-imperialism” that interprets the world through a simplistic and reflexively anti-western framework.

This framework divides the world into a simple binary: oppressors (who are unambiguously evil) and the oppressed (who are morally pure). “Anti-imperialists” assume that: i) communities that oppose the West overwhelmingly fall into the “oppressed” class; ii) members of this class tend to have similar political and social priorities; and iii) political violence committed by the oppressed automatically counts as morally justified “resistance.”

Of course, the world does not actually conform to this framework, because global conflicts are far more nuanced than anti-imperialists are willing to admit. There is no black-and-white divide between good and evil, and no grand coalition of victims — real life is too diverse and fractured for such a simplistic narrative.

Yet false simplicity provides comfort to many queer activists, because it conceals the uncomfortable compromises that come with political life. Many progressives feel anxious about their own privileged positions in the world, and, as a result, often resort to performative righteousness to assuage these insecurities. The dynamics here are not much different from what is sometimes seen among the devoutly religious — the presence of doubt, compromise and moral greyness is psychologically unacceptable.

In the context of the Palestinians, this fundamentally selfish need for black-and-white thinking leads the queer left to minimize homophobia that, in any other context, would be unacceptable. It encourages the romanticization of Hamas, a terrorist organization that would, if given the chance, murder every LGBTQ person in the world.

If queer leftists wish to ensconce themselves in fairytales, then that’s their prerogative — but other LGBTQ people are justified in taking a skeptical approach, which, yes, can include support for Palestinians’ self-determination that uncomfortably co-exists with clear-eyed recognition of the very ugly parts of Palestinian culture.

[blistering-typhoons]

BBC SHERLOCK REWATCH - A STUDY IN PINK (REAL TIME NOTES)

From the perspective of someone who watched this show when they were thirteen, made it their whole personality and then stopped being a massive prat.

I thought about organizing this into a cohesive review, and maybe as I go on I'll delve deeper into some of my observations but for now I thought it would be funny to present my findings in raw, mostly unaltered form:

- loud ass opening, my god

- only bit of acting Martin freeman ever does lmao

- dances along to theme against my will

- god the effects and transitions are so shit

- all the shots of the pills are so ugly

- oh yay molly - whoo - yayyy

- the potential withe these two goddamn

- also this sherlock does not drink his respect women juice by god

- fucksake the deduction about john's sister- not only is it translated awfully into this modern setting, it's explicitly a deduction Sherlock is supposed to make once they know eachother a bit better

- THE POTENTIAL

- also sherlock displaying one insecurity when john accidentally insults his stuff- well done moftiss, characterization

- How far away is the crime scene, why it dark

- pls the transitions

- PIPE BOMB, WHOO Phone deductionnnn

- oh my god it's so shit

- uuuuuuuugggghhhh the potential I hate this shooooow

- fuckin deduction as a way for witty one liners and sexism, i hate this place

- 'you were thinking it's annoying' i'm going to send myself off a cliff, CRINGE

- RACHE- moffat, come here a sec- literally putting ACD on par with the police, who are always wrong the sheer audacity- also just a bad change

- these lens flare white lights are so goofy please, you will never be a whole scene of silence with jeremy brett

- benedict cumberbatch is very pretty i will grant

- terrorized by the fact i used to quote this show unironically

- from a writing point of view I understand that John gushing over Sherlock is to show off and emphasize their specialest boy- but, some sincerity is infused into it from an acting standpoint

- 30:02 GIRLIE WHAT IS THAT SOUND EFFECT

- OOH YAY THE PSYCHOPATH/SOCIOPATH STUFF WHOO YEAAAAH

- All the phones calling as john walks past is kinda cool but mostly stupid

- oh anthea, what a rich character lmao

- how long was mycroft posed like that

- First johnlock queerbait whooo

- Where does he fuck off to???

- he just vanishes lmaoooo

- Three patch problem. Bruh.

- I am bored as shit, help

- This music- girl

- Bloated is a very good word to describe some of these scenes

- HERE SHE IS- THE BIG DADDY OF QUEERBAITING

- this scene is insane fucKING INSANE I HATE THIS SHOW

- god how much episode is left fucksake

- the stop/go signs- pick a tone girl

- this episode is so almost good and it's anytime Sherlock makes a mistake lmao

- not the drugs bust :/

- ooh sociopath line- whoo

- "I don't have to [imagine]." OOOH OKAY, WELL, YOU GUYS GET *ONE* POINT FOR THAT SHEESH

- this is so ridiculous- COME WITH ME- girl shut up

- I wanna be done I wanna be doooone.

- lamenting the confrontation we had in the unaired pilot

- The 'Frwhoomp' noise as the light goes out, girl

- 20 Minutes left my christ

- BRO- I forgot that bit of ADR wooooof

- and thus begins the scree of Moriarty

- five years, why is Scotland Yard still doubtful of Sherlock's skills? I know he might have been deep in his addiction during some of that, but they evidently kept him around for crime solving.

- Great man/good man quote has me fumin babes, my god, what a fundamental misunderstanding of Sherlock Holmes

- boring ass back and forth

- this piano is giving me war flashbacks

- is it a five orange pips reference?

- also the pills look like that speckled gum that burns your throat

- when is it oveeer

- falling asleep

- bomb under the table but the table is made of glass and hates gay people

- she tooks the kidssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

- 13 min

- love, or rage, dude, come on Sherlock

- i hate this 'enjoying crime too much' theme they've written

- like watching a stupid play

- once more, the potential

- moriarty he said calmly

- also, so out of character for Sherlock do I even need to say

- peaks of what could have been- FUCK

- this mycroft fake out- lord

- also, mummy, fucksake

- cheesy ending BUT IT'S OVER

[yellowocaballero]

Hi!

Was wondering about your take on soulmate au’s.

I mean I always thought of it as a short cut. I guess then there’s no reason for why the characters should be together besides the author wanted them to be.

But I’ve seen that aspect been played into. Like I guess if you want to throw to characters together and see how they interact it works.

I believe firmly that there's (almost.) no such thing as a bad trope, just bad execution. No matter my own distaste or disinterest in a trope, there are ways to write it in the spirit it was intended and to write it well. A lot of very popular romance aus aren't really to my taste, but I'm confident I could write a good example of a great deal of them. The only two AUs that I know I straight up know I will never be satisfying or interesting to me - the only two AUs that I cannot sincerely write and almost never enjoy - are hanahaki and soulmate AUs. And I have tried. Soulmate AUs vex me.

There's just no tension in them. There's nothing that the soulmate aspect adds. When writing, the most important thing for a character is their sense of agency and the choices they make - if a character isn't making any choices, then they aren't driving their own story, and it's a very uninteresting and tepid story. A romance is a series of choices to me. It's decisions made by a character that drive their narrative, decisions made from a lot of very complicated reasons and which are affected strongly by the plot and the setting, and falling in love is the journey towards choosing somebody. Soulmate AUs just strip that, and as a result they strip the entire falling in love narrative.

I've tried about five different times to write an honest, romantic soulmate au story, and I have pretty much failed. It doesn't work for me. There is nothing that soulmates add and it takes away a lot of the crucial elements of a relationship narrative that give it stakes and meaning. I understand why people enjoy the soulmates trope and why it's comforting to people - it's a concept of inherent belonging, that no matter who you are or what you've done there's somebody out there who is for you and who is meant to love you no matter what, that you aren't unlovable or doomed to be without love even if you have never been in a relationship - and normally understanding that is enough to write it well. But what makes soulmates comforting is what makes it a bad story. 'Happily ever after' is the end for a reason.

All that said, I don't hate all 'fated romances' or soulmate dynamics. BBC Merlin 2008 is my favorite romance soulmates story and its Merthur is one of The Gay Ships Of All Time. But I think that's because it's not romance soulmates, and because the story is very specifically fairy tale that does a lot of work with fate and destiny as something that you have to achieve and as powerful forces who you have to fight against. Also 'I Married The Male Lead's Dad', which made me cry like a baby.

[merlincersei]

Merlin BBC UK TV Show - A Psychological Analysis Series Part 7

Season 5 Episode 3 - “ Death Song Of Uther Pendragon”

One of the most interesting episode in the series is the “ Death Song Of Uther Pendragon”.

In this episode we are exposed to the some less flattering aspects of Arthur’s character:

1) HYPOCRISY:

Arthur knowingly uses witchcraft by blowing the Horn of Cathbhadh to communicate with his deceased father.

It seems Arthur is okay with using magic when it benefits him despite maintaining the overall ban on magic in Camelot.

2) LYING:

Arthur hides the fact he is going to use the Horn of Cathbhadh, even from GWEN…..(Let that sink in). But of course not Merlin….because of reasons……….

3) INSECURITY:

Arthur tells Uther that he is his own man ………but at the same time desperately seeks Uther’s approval.

But the most interesting moments in the episode involve Uther Pendragon.

1) HE IS A TERRIBLE FATHER:

Uther is back and he is hopping mad. He spends all his time criticizing and berating Arthur.

Their interaction helps emphasize the contradiction between Uther and Balinor.

When Uther comes back from the dead he spends his time criticizing Arthur.

When Balinor’s spirit communicates with Merlin in Season 5 Episode 12, he uplifts and encourages his son.

2) ATTEMPTED FILICIDE:

Uther actually tries to kill Arthur. The reason which Uther states is his disapproval on how Arthur has governed his kingdom.

This story point does not make sense because Arthur was Uther’s sole heir and if he had killed Arthur, Camelot would have been without a King and the Pendragon dynasty could have ended right there.

While Uther was one of the main antagonist of the series his one redeeming feature was his repressed affection for his son.

However the writers have given us a vital clue to help us decipher why.

3) USING MAGIC:

Uther in spirit form uses magic to harm Perceval, Gwen, Arthur and Merlin.

Uther using magic betrays one of his own cherished belief of a Camelot being free from Magic.

Uther using magic in spirit form could be dismissed as ghosts possess magical powers and hence is not an outlier. However when Balinor came in Spirit form to help Merlin he did not use magic. When Igraine came in ghost form to speak to Arthur she did not use magic.

By using magic, Uther has confirmed the subtext of what magic represents in the show.

4) WHAT MAGIC REALLY MEANS:

That Magic is a methaphor for queerness.

When Arthur confronts Uther and says Uther has been driven by hate and fear. It refers to Uther own self hate for indulging in “magic” and fear of it being found out.

That repressed side of Uther which he has indulged in and has been the source of his guilt. Igraine died because she was impregnated using magic.

It has been Uther’s justification for the persecution of “magic users”

Same as self hating closeted people always spout the most anti-LGBTQIA stuff.

Uther’s motivation for killing Arthur and reclaiming Camelot stems from his religious devotion to the idea of Camelot. Just like Abraham was willing to kill his son to please God. Uther is ready to sacrifice Arthur because he believes Camelot will be undone with Arthur’s more liberal nature. With Arthur marrying a commoner and elevating commoners to knight hood, legalizing magic could be something Arthur could consider (AND DID CONSIDER IN THE DISIR EPISODE). Arthur after all was not above using magic to get what he wanted as highlighted above

Merlin even has some very revealing words when it comes to magic:

“I was born with it”. LADY GAGA would be proud.

Uther even tries to out Merlin to Arthur before Arthur blows the horn to send him back to the spirit world.

5) MERTHUR FACTS:

Merlin tells Leon he is teaching Arthur poetry.

Gaya scienza (‘joyful, cheerful, or gay science’) was a term used by the troubadours in the twelfth to fourteenth centuries to refer to the art of poetry. In Ecce Homo Nietzsche writes that he has used the term gaya scienza here to designate the specific unity of ‘singer, knight, and free spirit’ which was characteristic of early Provencal culture…………………………….DO I NEED TO SAY MORE.

When Uther admits to trying to kill Gwen, Arthur tries to convince his father why Gwen is a worthy consort. When Uther tries to kill Merlin, Arthur straight up blows the horn without even letting Uther complete his sentence.

And I won’t even touch this one:

[livvyofthelake]

package deal posting again i’ve got shit to say

1. still sleeping like shit. becoming overly familiar with my bedroom it’s like i’m 16 again but worse. 😐

2. there is. ok i’m about to sound mean just stay with me. there is a random person who every day has liked about five or so of my old merlin posts. and they are literally just. the most random posts most of them aren’t even tagged it’s like they just searched “merlin” on my blog and are liking whatever comes up. which i shouldn’t have to explain to you, can be ANYTHING. they liked a post about the timeless video. what? hello. what does the timeless video have to do with you… that post was about KIT and TY from CASSANDRA CLARE’S SHADOWHUNTER CHRONICLES. i promise you if you’re a fucking bbc merlin fan in the year 2024 you don’t even know them our interests are so unaligned what could that post possibly say to you… mind you. it was just a random post ABOUT the timeless video that i made while i was making it. it was not an actual good or informative post explaining the lore and backstory of the timeless video… anyway. like who is this guy and why are they doing this. not to be all why are you so obsessed with me but like fr. anyway. that’s just weird to me idk

3. movie february is lowkey flopping. i’m trying but goddamn

4. 3 was lowkey a lie. i am mid movie as we speak and i am enjoying it even, i’m just not really feeling the movie enjoyer spirit…

5. when i said captain america fans were misogyny apologists i meant that the only reason those guys are gay in your heads (sorry but your heads are the only place they’re gay. chris evans is not a good enough actor to give gay i’m sorry to that man. but you’re all delusional because something bad happened to you in middle school and i want you to know that) anyway the only reason for that is because the men who made that franchise don’t like women. they don’t like women!!!! they treated emily vancamp like shit and got away with it because you people cared more about gay shipping than female characters!! you let them get away with something evil and you didn’t even get anything out of it oh my god can you all just admit that? mcu: *puts emily vancamp in a movie as the hero’s new love interest* fandom: um actually i hated her because EYE think chris evans should be gay. mcu: oh ok so what we’re hearing is that we hate emily vancamp cool we’ll get rid of her! fandom: ok so the men i think are gay are gay now right? right? mcu: the 1950s actually were better than modern times we decided! back when women were oppressed but could vote so we were allowed to pretend they weren’t oppressed!!! oh my god anyway. i recognize the semi hypocritical nature of me complaining about having to see like seven captain america posts after the way i’ve been blogging for months. but what i do is different. ok. marvel is cringe it’s a boy interest its an incel interest. redacted is for the worst most annoying gay people on tiktok. there’s a difference and i get to read better fanfiction and all you guys have ever done is lose and i only win. peace and love

[batri-jopa]

Ten Characters, Ten Fandoms, Ten Tags

Thanks for tagging @chrisoels ! At first I thought I don't have that many fandoms but then I found out that I actually have way too many😅 (why do I always have to overthink stuff like this?) So as there's no clear rules given here - I split it into the list of 10 characters and the list of 10 fandoms because why not:

TEN CHARACTERS - lets start with something normal...

John "Jack" Robinson (from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries series) - for making all the most minimalistic reactions feel sooo intense with his voice, his face, his appearence and the way he can blink... He's the coolest quiet guy!❤

Amelie (from Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, 2001, dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet) - nice, quiet girl who is not best at socialising and doesn't enjoy sex (greysexual?) yet loves to make other people happy. Doing good things without being noticed makes her feel powerful and make her feel like Zorro. I love that she eventually gets some kind of reward for all that and the kissing scene in the end is sooo very sweet❤

Pollyanna (from Pollyanna, 1913 novel written by Eleanor H. Porter) [books counts too I guess?] - for looking at the positive side of every situation, what's more to say? Best way to live your life when you're too empathetic👍

Benton Fraser (from Due South series) - a guy from other realm: elegant, polite and humble, obeying all the rules and still be the smartest and most effective police officer around. Not to mention how handsome and cute he is! (take it for ace version of "hot") and scenes like when he falls into the snow in end credits I could watch forever❤ (so bad his asexual smart-ass potential has been wasted by producers in every next season...)

Young Bilbo Baggins (from The Hobbit, or There and Back Again written by J.R.R. Tolkien) - the book character once more: the guy, who starts up as the classical loser, the smallest in the group, knowing nothing, understanding nothing and being scared of his own shadow - when given a chance proves his potential for the greatest deeds, smartest solving problems and bravest of actions💪And the talking to the dragon on the top of that, OMG!!!🤯 (sorry, but Peter Jackson version packed with CGI and unnecessary stuff for me was emotionally flat as a pancake😩)

Zorro (from Zorro, 1957 Walt Disney series) - ZORRO!!! if that's not self-explanatory I don't know what to say😂

Z (from Ant Z , 1998dir. Eric Darnell and Tim Johnson) - for: "Why does everybody have to dance the same way?"

Sherlock Holmes (from Sherlock BBC series) and Gregory House (from House M.D. series) - well it is technically the same character (like Doctor Who or like James Bond - played by multiple actors): brilliant antisocial detective no matter if he is played by Benedict Cumberbatch or Hugh Laurie. And if not for his stunning personality (you may love him, you may hate him but you can't stay indifferent) - all the undefined interactions, dialogs and puns between Sherlock and John or between Greg House and Lisa Cuddy are just pure gold❤️‍🔥

Howard Brackett (from In & Out, 1997 dir. Frank Oz) - sooo sweet, I consider him my favorite ace movie character💜💚 (the 1990's movie tells him to be "gay" but I'd say it's an obvious misrecognition and I'd need another post to tell more about that guy...😋)

Jareth the Goblin King (from Labyrinth 1986, dir. Jim Henson) - well... that's another guy that I sooo much need another post to talk about😆 Starred by David Bowie, nuff said😎

.

TEN FANDOMS (don't worry, this part is much shorter):

Labyrinth (1986, dir. Jim Henson) and its fancomic Girls Next Door (I love that in the fancomic Jareth gets muuuch more good time teasing and flirting Sarah!😋) - what to say? Everything is magical and fancy here but never too naive

X-men - a talent that makes you special also makes you an outcast (which is not any different from the real world actually...) Also cool looking action scenes and young Hugh Jackman as the Wolverine.

Collateral (2004, dir. Michael Mann) - I watched it for the first time in 2021 and it became my biggest obsession, hyperfixation and life perspective changing experience❤️‍🔥 (again - most definitely some other post to talk about it) But apart from my madness it's also is just a very good action movie with nice soundtrack. And ppl saying they hate Tom Cruise but loved Collateral says a lot about it!👍

Terminator 2: The Judgement Day. It's like Zorro to me - obssesed since my childhood and never get over it

Fiddler on The Roof - pure perfection

M.A.S.H. series - classic

House M.D. - apart from everything else it was also a great help during medical studies - nice thing when you can memorise weird disease symptoms with an episode😉

Toy Story - fascinating thing to watch every next movie growing up with you - from your childhood problems to middle age issues...

Matrix - hyperfixation of 13 years old me (but the first movie I choose to treat as a whole story)

Garfield - 😁

Oh, that was kind of refreshing. Turns out I actually needed that.

Now I'm afraid I do not know enough people to tag but lets try it: @the-malfunctioning-somnambulist , @vampiiriic , @blackhoodedfigur , @lireb-librarian , @voidofsky , @sharp-lines-in-charcoal , @dragodina , @sbmranger , @tamisdava2 , @notasapleasure

Have fun if you feel like it or just have a good day anyway!❤

[faggotrevolution]

conclusionless rant about andrew scott under the cut

why did andrew scott give such a terrible performance in Sherlock when he's obviously a good actor?

i've wondered this for over a decade now, ever since my drama teacher in 8th grade pointed out that all andrew scott is really doing in the pool scene is being loud, which isn't the same as being convincing.

is it moffat? he makes a really good scapegoat for most problems with BBC Sherlock. but he's the writer and producer, not the director, and even though i think it would be difficult to convincingly act lines like "Daddy's had enough now" and "I will burn the heart out of you" i still think the awkward, uncomfortable, overly loud performance can't be fully blamed on the writing.

so i look at gatiss, the director, the one who said that 'Moriarty has always been a sort of posh, dull villain' and that he wanted to have his Moriarty be 'genuinely frightening'. gatiss doesn't get half as much hate as moffat. while moffat was angrily replying to people's tweets about river song's bisexuality gatiss was getting interviewed and lauded as a folk hero of the fandom, someone nerdy and hard-working, truly invested in the enjoyment of the audience. but he's no different from moffat. he too enjoyed early success writing what some might call "darkly intellectual" doctor who episodes, and he worked on sherlock just as much. people love to call out moffat for queerbaiting and lying about Sherlock but like... gatiss was there too. and he's gay! i can expect betrayal from a straight man but a faggot?? it hurts!!

i think cumberbatch and freeman, reprehensible people that they are, give consistently good performances on Sherlock. but does that mean mark gatiss is good at directing them? i mean benedict cumberbatch was their prophesied 'sex symbol', the eponymous character, a nepotism hire with connections in the industry - and martin freeman was an established actor who is just playing the same type of guy he played on Bruiser. he probably didn't need too much direction.

but at the end of the day all i can really glean from this is imagining gatiss kept halfheartedly telling scott to 'ramp it up' with his performance of these terrible lines in an effort to make it stand out, while paying most of his attention to the star. which could very well have happened, but there's no proof.

[istilldontunderstand]

Thoughts about Merlin (bbc)

(Sorry for the shouting. And these are just my personal pet peeves I have with this show. At the same time I completely adore it.)

The fuck at writers. Gwen was so much more than mere Queen. This role was kinda thrown at her and her characterization changed rapidly from BAMF to mere love interest. It bothers me, just let her be her awesome self. It’s a fantasy tv show. Nobody expects it to be Arthurian legend. Let Gwen be happy BUT her at the same time. She and Lancelot. Or with good Morgana. That’s the ship I would’ve rooted for.

Same at Morgana. I understand Uther hate. But why does she out of the blue want to kill innocent people she was protecting her whole life. Like the fuck no lost sister of mine could have change me like that. WE STAN GOOD MORGANA. Do not make her a villain just because. Just don’t.

Fuck Merlin listening to Kilgarrah about killing Mordred and Morgana. You don’t know that lizard, do not trust him instantly!! Merlin honey, it’s writers fault. You wouldn’t do that.

NO DEATH FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT (okay Leon is immortal, can’t all of them be?). You introduce me to all these cutipies and than nearly all of them die painfull death without a reason? GWAINE JUST WANTED TO BELONG SOMEWHERE!!!

All Merthur signs are there. Everything would be same, just the Queen and court sorcerer would be Merlin. WOULD THAT BE SO HARD?!?!?!?!

And for fucks sake let Merlin have friends that are ALIVE. Gods.

Also fuck season 5 plotline. WHERE IS MY ALBION UNITED AND PROSPERING? WHERE IS THE GOLDEN AGE OF MAGIC AND TWO SIDES OF THE SAME GAY COIN? HA??? WHERE IS MERLIN AND OTHER SORCERERS LIVING IN PEACE AND WITHOUT HAVING TO FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES? WHERE IS ARTHUR FASCINATED BY MERLINS MAGIC? WHERE ARE DRUID CHILDREN RUNNING ROUND CAMELOT MAKING MISCHIEVE AS CHILDREN DO WITHOUT FEARING FOR THEIR LIVES????????????????

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch 

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes.... 

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here”  - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg 

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

[gaia-prime]

Ask game 1-30

Oh the whole batch huh?

Is cat hating misogyny - no. and radblr doesn’t want to hear this but cats are male coded (he thinks he owns me he bites/scratches/hurts me because he loves me) and dogs are female coded (she should be obedient, she should be friendly and submissive to everyone she meets, she should tolerate any touch or interaction, she should never have boundaries and never fight back and if she does she should be put down) etc.

skin care/moisturizer - honestly I find this trendy shit to be just as evil as makeup but in a more insidious way.

fatphobia - funny if it’s against men

political lesbians - if you’re asking if I think OSA women should forgo relationships with men and embrace separatism yea. if you’re asking if OSA women should call themselves lesbians no

separatism - I think I just answered that

gold stars - this is the experience a lot of lesbians have and we’re going to have a phrase talk about it. And it’s a silly facetious phrase too. Like gold stars are what get given to children - which is what you sound like if you take offense to ⭐️

hetfem vs bifem vs lesfem - why ‘vs’ who is versus? We are all femily

sex selective abortion of male fetuses - women should never have to give birth if they don’t want to and that includes if it’s because they don’t want to birth the next generation of oppressors

hippie bullshit (herbs, home birth,naturopathy, etc) - I want women to have greater control over their healthcare, and that should mean more funding for and access to evidence based care, not less

do pastel or age regression blogs glorify ddlg/pedophilia - pastel blogs as in like, aesthetic blogs? like just pictures of pastel colored clothes and decor and whatever? because if that pedophilic that’s only because freaks are making it so. there’s nothing inherently pedophilic about liking the color pink. and I can’t answer the next one I have no idea (and don’t want to know) what age regression blogs are

polyamory/polygamy - what is this? Utah? what are you a cult?

vegans - vegans are objectively correct and people can’t handle.

who is a better lesbian ally: straight women vs gay men - 10 years ago I would have easily said gay men. But now both are eager to tell us to suck dick. Remember when the BBC published that article about lesbians who have been pressured or raped by males who call themselves women? And straight women took to twitter to accuse women of lying about rape? Idk how to answer this male class consciousness is iron clad but straight women really have been trained to do a n y t h i n g necessary for the approval of men in addition to just being homophobes themselves

political celibacy - didn’t i answer this already?

are femmes the same as straight women - no woman who eats pussy is the same as a straight woman, regardless of what she wears. Oh but if you mean femme as in pillow princess I mean idk if she’s straight but she sounds like she sucks

believing in magic, astrology, and crystals - fine I f it’s funny

is religion always patriarchal - you cannot observe that women have created all human life and then invent a male creator god unless you are a huge misogynist.

does biphobia exist - misogyny and homophobia exist

pee your pants - what is the question here exactly?

interacting with minors - if some shit ass kid on the internet is making rape jokes and throwing slurs at you, you have an obligation as an adult to set boundaries with them

misogyny in gay men - all men hate women what else is new

drag queens - same

fetishes and kink - isn’t not getting off on hurting women like rad feminism 101

t-slur - homophobic

2nd hand penis - do I even want to know what that is?

piv - pretty sure I answered this already

do butch/femme couples imitate heterosexuality - do lesbians actually do that in earnest anymore? Or was that more of a phenomenon that existed specifically in working class lesbian communities in america in the 50s-70s

conditioning your pubes - this is a joke right ?

asexuality - i think there is a small number of people who genuinely to not have interest in sex or sexual attraction but and I’m sure that is a very alienating experience. And I’m sure that is not helped by people calling themselves asexual when really they do enjoy sexual relationships, or they are simply children in a completely normal developmental stage of their life.

are all europeans white - I’m fairly confident there are nonwhite people living in Europe

[bungeenomin]

THE PLAYERS GAME- XIAOJUN X Y/N SOCIAL MEDIA AU {54}

Sicheng is hesitant as he raises his hand to the door. Only faith knows how this is going to turn out. Never, in all their years, all the time spent feuding had the pair every tried to talk about it or fix it.

Honestly, Sicheng was fine with that. He had his feelings, and he didn’t want to hear Dejun’s, nor did Dejun necessarily want to hear his. They chose to hate each other. Avoid each other. Between Dejun failing to admit his wrong doing, and Sicheng being too hurt and petty to move on when Dejun was in denial about his actions, this argument took over.

It’s been on Sicheng’s mind ever since him and y/n fell out. For too long now, this feud has effected both of their lives significantly. It always seems to get in the way. Y/n, his best friend hated him, because of the feud. The friend group fell apart, because of the feud. Sicheng lost one of his first best friends, Xiao Dejun, because of the feud.Two people who have so much love for each other are hurting right now, partially because of the feud. He is giving one attempt to ending this. If Dejun doesn’t want to, then he’s done all he is willing to do.

After a quick internal battle Sicheng knocks on the door. “Oh Sicheng, uh, hey” Xuxi greets, scratching his neck in slight confusion. “What are you doing he-”

“He’s here to see me” Dejun mumbles from behind the taller, large hoodie thrown over his head, with a comfy pair of shorts underneath.

Xuxi looks between the two, trying to read their expressions, but to no avail. Funnily enough, i don’t think the boys would be able to read their own expressions if they could see them at this present moment. “Lets go” Dejun monotonously speaks, heading towards his bedroom with Sicheng closely behind.

The second they enter the room and the door is closed, there’s an awkward tension. This whole concept is foreign to them, and they have no idea how to deal with it. “You can sit down” Dejun mumbles, looking down at his legs which are crossed on his bed.

“I know this is, awkward or whatever, and i’ve kinda put you in this situation, but this feud is effecting both of our lives and the people in it way too much. It needs to just be put to rest Dejun, if you’re willing to do that. If not, i’ll leave now.

Dejun doesn’t react at all, just continues to sit and play with his fingers. Sicheng doesn’t take this as a no though, he knows the boy has a lot of thoughts to gather. It wasn’t until Sicheng heard small sniffles and Dejun’s body begin to shake that he speaks up. “Dejun why are you-”

“I’m so sorry” Dejun whispers shakily. “I’m so fucking sorry” Dejun chokes out, making eye contact with Sicheng before burying his head in his hands. Sichengs heart, although concerned about a sobbing Dejun, can’t help but to swell. After all the pain, all these years, he got an apology.

“I- what the fuck is wrong with me Sicheng?” Dejun questions, the tears failing to stop streaming down his face.

“What do you mean?” Sicheng replies, his eyes softening at the boy.

“I hurt you so fucking bad. Why the fuck did i even say that shit? Why? I knew you were gay, and i got intimidated by you talking to a girl? Who the fuck does that Sicheng? What the actual fuck? I knew from the second it left my lips that it was wrong. So wrong. I knew that nothing could have hurt you more than that, but i still did it. I had such a big fucking ego and fake tough guy persona that i couldn’t even bring myself to apologise. I let myself be angry at you, to take the feeling of me being wrong away. That’s so fucked Sicheng. You were one of my best friends” Dejun sobs, his entire body shaking.

“Come here you idiot” Sicheng sighs, dragging the sobbing boy into his chest. “Yes Dejun, what you did really hurt me, it left a huge scar. I couldn’t believe one of my best friends of all people would do that. But you know what, i’ve thought a lot about this, i’ve seen you change so much over time. You aren’t high school Dejun. You aren’t the boy, who built his walls higher than anyone could climb when his dad died. You aren’t the person who adopted a new persona to hide their hurt. You Xiao Dejun, have grown up. Your walls have come down so much. You express your emotions. You care for the people you love. Honestly, i think the only thing holding you onto the old Dejun and preventing this new Dejun from blooming fully, is this war between us. What do you think, hm? I was the only person still getting treated like the old Dejun would. I don’t want this anymore Dejun, we’ve hurt so many people, including each other. Your apology couldn’t mean anymore to me than it does”

“Why the fuck are you being so nice to me” Dejun sobs even louder into Sicheng’s chest at his kind words, clutching his shirt.

“Because i forgive you. I forgive this Dejun for old Dejun’s mistakes. You were going through so much back then and i know that you would never do that to someone today, because that’s not who you are. I forgive you Dejun”

“Thank you” Dejun chokes out, internally cringing at how vulnerable he feels right now. But nothing can cloud the weight that has been lifted off both of their shoulders tonight.

“Sicheng?” Dejun questions.

“Mhm”

“I promise you what happened at the party isn’t what you think happened. I know i-it looked like that but i promise you it’s not. I love her Sicheng, so much. I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend and everything”

“Do you want to explain what happened then?” Sicheng softly asks, tucking Dejun’s hair behind his ear.

“Okay. Let me get Johnny and Xuxi”

————————————————————————

feel free to send me questions/opinions about the au!

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socialmedia!au xiaojun!au wayv!au nct!au

pairing: xiaojun X y/n

genre: college!au , fluff , angst

warnings: smut, oral, sex

summary: Hockey player!Xiaojun is the biggest player in UCS, both on and off the ice. He has a different girl practically every time you see him. But when y/n has to learn all about the player for a psychology project, will she just be another girl that’s dragged into his game?

taglist: @xiaojunsmintchocci @whoe-dis @yancupidxhyunjin @bvbyxuxi @ngayongabi @kswblueprint @kylomeyon @neocluefor @amymoonl @ta3ilmoon @thatonekpopsweater @captainasianllama @bubudays @glxwingstar @bby-kji9 @simplicitysbabe @skittlez-area512 @crybabybomin @this-is-the-bbc @xiaodejunfair @jeonlovers @junglewoos @absolutefantrash @yoongsicles @ksoolive @ajhdr @mxrcayong @kuntenwinluxiaohenyang @bubblywonu @markistheloveofmylife @llamajuns @queen-of-himbos @doyoungsarabbit @awksmark @notbeforelong @agustdiv1ne @alexameliamg

ask to be added!

[loudest-subtext-in-tv]

Something I know no one will ever contend with when they just want to write a hit piece about us, but...

When Moffat said on the A Scandal in Belgravia commentary, “If you watch the show carefully, there’s subtext about John’s drinking,” what did he mean? He wasn’t being flippant, he’s said one of his favorite writers is William Goldman and writers should study him because he “knows everything.” Goldman’s Ten Commandments on Writing say to “put a subtext under every text” and not to be too on the nose. 

So what is the “real” subtext to why John drinks, and why does John drink when he’s alone with Sherlock and trying to get him to open up, or otherwise thinking about Sherlock? If the subtext is not about John’s relationship with Sherlock, then like... who else is in the room in those scenes, what’s going on, who is John actually thinking about, and why is it so important to the story that Moffat would include it? What storyline does the subtext of John’s drinking pertain to? It must be pretty big to not have been revealed yet, so it shouldn’t be hard to make a case for.

Similarly: When Moffat and Gatiss say that The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, a movie noteworthy for depicting Holmes as a homosexual in love with Watson, is the inspiration for their adaptation, what do people imagine they adapted from it? Because it wasn’t the characterization, they don’t much resemble the BBC Sherlock characterizations. Barely any plot points were borrowed, and minor ones at that. Why did they pick the big overtly gay adaptation for the basis of their show from a hundred straight alternatives? Why did Gatiss say the thing he liked about it was that Holmes was in love with Watson?

I mean, I know people who hate us will never actually watch it, but the movie is not subtle. The movie isn’t a bunch of gay gags, the movie makes very clear that Holmes is genuinely homosexual and in love with Watson in a deeply painful way that queer people can recognize and relate to, and the same vibe is heavy in series 3 especially. For example, the endings of TSoT and HLV are not gay gags, they are things that happened in the plot and were not presented as remotely funny.

There are two reasonable perspectives on this:

1) It is not especially weird for people who pay attention to what the writers have said about their stories to think all the gay stuff is intentional, and its not weird to have fun chasing down things the writers have taken care to talk about. That’s what fans do, they try to predict where stories are going. No one made hit pieces ridiculing Jon and Daeneyrs shippers because they recognized what the foreshadowing in Game of Thrones was saying, and they were basing it off almost nothing compared to what the showrunners of Sherlock have said and taken care to include in the plot and subtext. People write hit pieces about us because they deeply believe it’s stupid for queer people to think a gay romance could be depicted, we had the misfortune of having a sense of humor about ourselves (calling it a “conspiracy” and ourselves a “cult”), and were enthusiastic about the show and writers whose fandom we’re a part of.

2) The gay stuff is intentional, but all a big joke despite appearances to the contrary. Most of the antis even argued that the gay stuff was intentional, they just thought it was to fuck with people or be provocative. Some of them were even dreading S4, including while it was airing, because they thought we were going to be proven right and we’d be insufferable. If people who hated us worried we could be right, then how delusional could we be?

I can understand someone thinking it all being a big joke is more likely than a TV show depicting a gay romance, but it does not follow that people deserve to be an object of public ridicule because they recognized a bunch of queer allusions and painful queer life experiences that resonated with them and considered that the writers, one of whom is queer and unabashedly obsessed with the works in question, may have positive motives for including those things. It feels like punishing people for doing their due diligence of actually researching the writers’ feelings about things and their influences, rather than just piling on and calling them homophobes. I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s opinions if that’s how they feel about Moffat and Gatiss nowadays, I’m just saying it’s not some shameful thing for people to actually investigate these things and conclude differently. It’s okay to think writers are talented and clever, and their fandom should be a place where it’s okay to explore that.

What makes me most sad about this is that there is genuinely no area of life where people can just play around anymore without being hunted down. Like, politics is fucking miserable, the pandemic is miserable, I just had a friend kill himself a few months ago because of how bad life is lately, a close relative who I never thought would have suicidal ideation has it now, I have been fighting wanting to die for years, in the U.S. none of us have any idea if we’re ever getting any sort of pandemic stimulus again -- so many of us are suffering immensely right now, it should be okay to be goofy and creative in a fandom without someone deciding its their prerogative to profit off us because they think we’re weird, or whatever. 

The reason there’s a lot of crazy meta analysis is because this was supposed to be a relatively safe, creative place where people can try their hand at analyzing stories without being graded or made to feel inadequate, so we treat metas a lot like fanfics where it’s not really appropriate to just rip people’s shit apart no matter how illogical it is, and we find things we like about analysis we don’t agree with in that same spirit: it’s a cool idea anyway, it’s artistically inspiring, it got close to a more compelling idea, etc. I have a big packet of fan mails where several people told me they had been scared and self-conscious to share their thoughts on things, and TJLC helped them open up and inspired them to major in literary or film-related majors. People start somewhere and it’s cruel to make fun of them because they weren’t great at something that doesn’t fucking matter. 

FANDOM IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A SUPER SERIOUS SPACE. NO ONE PUTS ON A TUXEDO BEFORE THEY LOG IN TO TUMBLR. NO ONE NEEDS SOME OUTSIDER TAKING THE THINGS THEY OFFERED IN THE SPIRIT OF FUN OUT OF CONTEXT TO PRESENT TO A WIDER AUDIENCE THEY DELIBERATELY AVOID BECAUSE THAT AUDIENCE IS MEAN AND SENDS THEM DEATH THREATS AND HOMOPHOBIC AND MISOGYNISTIC SLURS AND SUICIDE ADVICE. IT IS ACTUALLY NOT AN ENORMOUS CHARACTER FAILING TO SHARE BAD ANALYSES OF A TV SHOW, AND SHOULD NOT BE A MATTER OF NATIONAL INTEREST. 

But places where people can open up and try things out increasingly can’t exist anymore, because even in a low stakes environment like a fandom there are busybody ghouls who want to profit off being condescending about how people spend their leisure time. It doesn’t add anything to the world except their bank accounts.

[melon-kiss]

This is just going to be a ramble about everything Sherlock. You’re most welcome to discuss or just ignore it. I needed the space to vent.

I watched Sherlock. Again. I think it’s beginning to become my annual tradition. And I have a crisis. Don’t get me wrong, I am always Sherlollian at heart. It’s just… I have doubts sometimes. And what triggered those doubts this time was the fact that Sherlock calls Molly “John”. Twice. And then Irene Adler. And then one post on Tumblr. And many, many more.

OK, these are just my random thoughts. Enjoy if you’re willing to read them.

 1. “John”. “Molly”.

We often mix up names of people we consider to have the same place in our lives. Which is good, right? Right. Only, in Sherlock’s case, we’d have lean into the theory that Sherlock does love John romantically and feels the same way about Molly. Or concede the fact that he loves them both platonically. Neither of these options is really satisfying, isn’t it? Well, that’s why I’m struggling… One could say he’s in denial of feelings for Molly and identifies them as friendship, as this is the strongest, purest relationship in his life, the only one he describes as emotional and the closest he’s ever had to love. Besides, Molly and John are similar in one way – they both share the same – medical – knowledge. Of course, Sherlock doesn’t realise her other qualities until The Reichenbach Fall when she says she can help him whenever he needs it. It’s not until she’s honest with him again and tells him, without a shred of grudge, that she knows she means nothing to him, that he realises he has at least two friends. He calls her “John” when his mind is busy with something else, so there’s no room for any purposeful confusion. The same thing happens in The Empty Hearse. What else can it mean if not friendship?

 2. Nothing Hits Like Irene

Irene Adler is created as the love interest for Sherlock. Is she, though? Well, we see Sherlock utterly confused upon their first meeting. We also see him flirting and creating an atmosphere of sexual tension for the first time. OK, he saves her but then she vanishes, he got over her, I thought. And all was fine until The Lying Detective came and Irene Adler sent a text to Sherlock, first in such a long time. John, of course, suggests that if Sherlock should be romantically involved with anyone, it should be her. And then it hit me.

Irene Adler is the symbol of chemistry in Sherlock’s life.

She’s a dominatrix. She’s all about sex, that’s obvious. At the critical point of The Scandal in Belgravia Sherlock says: I believe John Watson thinks love’s a mystery for me but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very distractive. Sherlock discovers that he, indeed, can have chemistry with people. He doesn’t mention love, he merely says sentiment, referring to the crush Irene Adler had on him. She is, indeed, a simple distraction – you can see it clearly in his memory palace when he yells at her to get away. But Molly… Molly stays. She leads him through the entire process of surviving a shot.

And then Irene Adler returns in The Lying Detective. John confesses to Sherlock about texting with a stranger met on the bus. And that he wanted more. Sherlock says everyone gets to be human sometimes. Even he can’t resist the urge of replying to Irene Adler sometimes. It was all about attraction again.

And that’s why she’s not considered a romantic relationship in his life. John rambles about love changing him, to be more specific, the love of his woman changing him. But he says Irene’s a dangerous criminal. How would that change Sherlock in any way?

In The Final Problem, upon deducing the coffin, John suggests Irene Adler but she’s not his first thought in general once they all hear that this is about someone who loves Sherlock. Sherlock’s response is very telling: Don’t be ridiculous. Look at the coffin. It seems like Sherlock pieces the puzzle at once – the coffin, plus the “name” on the lid – it couldn’t have been Irene Adler.

And that’s why Sherlock calls her The Woman. As a symbol of his sexuality. The Woman who’s woken up certain impulses in his life.

 3. Makeshift Gauge

Who is she?, Sherlock asks John in His Last Vow.

Based on what Mofftiss duo said about Molly, she was supposed to be featured in two episodes top. Yet, she stayed. The uncanonical character not only stayed but became fans’ favourite. I think she became a useful tool for Moffat and Gatiss. I think that not only she represents Sherlock heart (of which existence he has no idea at first) but later becomes our makeshift gauge. For what? For measuring Sherlock’s progress. See, it’s like when you live with someone, you don’t notice when they put on weight or grew a little but those who see less of them will notice all changes right away. So, when Sherlock runs around with John, we don’t notice the change in his behaviour at once (also because he’s always been nice to him, from the very beginning), we need to focus to see that. But Molly pops by once per episode and we see how Sherlock’s perception changes. In season one, he has good intentions, but they turn out bad. In season two, he’s more neutral but doesn’t restrain himself from rude comments. And Molly is being Molly – tells him he’s rude in her natural, soft way and he says sorry. For the first time. Without anyone making him do that. Almost the same happens in The Reichenbach Fall – but this time, Molly doesn’t let herself be fooled by Sherlock’s arrogance and just ignores it, going straight to the point. She says: “I’m here for you” and lowers his defences. In season three, he spends an entire day with her, smiles at her and is the sweetest, softest Sherlock we’ve ever seen. Moreover, when Lestrade asks him about her helping him solve cases, he says: [John] is not in the picture anymore, implying that she not necessarily had to be a temporary replacement. In season four, he says I love you to her.

What can we deduce about his heart?

 4. The Eurus Conundrum

We could write an entire book about Eurus and not even be able to grasp her spirit. I’m not going to do that right now.

I have issues with what happened in season four finale. I mean – Molly, of course. Mycroft says Eurus and Jim Moriarty met five years ago, so before Moriarty revealed himself to Sherlock. They both planned the entire game for Sherlock. Does that mean Sherlock never really won with him? Does that mean Moriarty let him use Molly to “win”? Since she was included in Eurus’ plan, we can safely assume Jim knew about Molly back then. At first, when I saw Moriarty saying We both know that’s not quite true [that you don’t have a heart] in many Sherlolly fanvids, I was like naaaaah. He didn’t see her as one of the important people in Sherlock’s life, it couldn’t have been a reference to their meeting. But now… how deeply back in time was Eurus’ plan allocated? Which events did she predict?

Or maybe I’m missing something? Any thoughts on this?

 5. Sherlock Evergreen

I once came across a post here, about how BBC Sherlock is literature, about sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s struggle with his own genius character. He was over with him, didn’t feel like writing any more of his stories so he killed him, but fans demanded more. He kept writing, although he hated it from the bottom of his heart. Season four, so often considered as the worst of all of them, is a way of saying that Sherlock character is, unfortunately, invincible. Immortal. He will live forever. We can’t kill him, no one can. Even his creator couldn’t have done it.

In season four, Sherlock goes back to the start. He is a clean slate again. He went through the entire process of change – became a good Sherlock, considerate of other people’s feelings and emotions, appreciative, supportive, loving, ready to mend what he broke. That interpretation, although very good, kind of killed my Sherlolly spirit. But I guess every interpretation like this would do it. If we stop treating characters like real human being, we’re left with what they really are – a construct, tools, puppets in the author’s hands.

Based on this, I think we’re safe to say there will never be a fifth season of BBC Sherlock (gosh, how I wish I was wrong!). Why? Because, despite what Moffat said in an interview once (after season three finale he said they’ve plotted out the entire fourth and fifth season – liar, liar, pants on fire!), season four had the perfect ending. As mentioned above, Sherlock became a good man and Mary Watson summed up what Sherlock is all about: two man, a genius junkie and a former soldier, who solve the weirdest, the toughest of cases together in flat on 221B Baker Street. Now, Sherlock is ready to be taken over by other artists who may find a new way to tell his story (though, I don’t think so) all over again.

And that’s a big, big shame… I think I speak for at least most of Sherlollians when I say we’d like to see Sherlock and Molly’s first encounter after the call. The finale really closed all the story arcs and subplots, except for this one. I mean, c’mon. You don’t have to be a Sherlollian to be annoyed by this – just remember that it was such a “biggie” that Moffat was asked about this in an interview. And this may be another reason as to why we won’t ever get a fifth season of Sherlock – because that would mean taking a side. And none of the creators will do it because Sherlock cannot be an open-and-shut case. It has to be like literature: big, open, twisted, unclear and full of room for interpretation. As long as there’s no certain explanation – yes, Sherlock loves Molly, no, Sherlock is gay – we create more and more content out of the need of closure. Thanks to the room for interpretation, the story lives. I mean, it’s been four years since The Final Problem airing and here I am, discussing BBC Sherlock still.

 Coming back to Sherlolly… don’t worry. Though I’m still not sure that we can harvest any hard evidence for Sherlock’s feelings for Molly (other than friendship and respect), I’m still a Sherlollian. There two new fics waiting for me to pull myself together and write them. I think it’s good to have doubts – it means my brain hasn’t rotten yet and I can still be critical, I’m able of having my own opinions.

 Thank you if you managed to read it all! I’d love to discuss if you have any conclusions. If not, that’s fine, too. I just needed it get it out of my system.

PS WHY DOES MY POSTS IN ENGLISH SOUND SO SOPHISTICATED IN MY HEAD BUT WHEN I PUT THEM IN WRITING, THEY’RE SO SHITTY?!

[panharmonium]

@bloomiii asked: Hey!  Do you think merlin actually hates Mordred?

Heya!  I’m assuming this is a follow-up question to the ask that @once-and-future-gay​​ sent me the other day, and I gotta say, I love this question just as much as I did that one, so thank you!  :D  It’s a great ask - relevant one, definitely, for Season 5. 

I have kind of a lot to say about it, so I’m going to put most of this reply under a cut, but the short answer is this:

No, absolutely not.  I don’t think Merlin hates Mordred.

I think Merlin hates himself.

I wrote in the previous post on this topic (which I think this ask is a response to) about the actual reasons why Merlin is in conflict with Mordred, none of which are based on personal dislike and all of which come back to Merlin knowing that he has to prevent Mordred from killing Arthur, not out of a selfish personal desire to keep Arthur safe, but because Arthur’s survival is supposed to be the thing that is going to bring peace to the land and liberate the magical world.

But Merlin, as I said in that post, does not want to be in conflict with Mordred.  He likes Mordred.  He says as much, to Gaius.  He cares about Mordred as someone who shares his oppression, as shown in the beginning of the Disir.  He agrees to keep Kara a secret from Arthur, at the beginning of 5.11.  And Mordred’s philosophy - “the love that binds us is more important than the power we wield” - is literally as close to Merlin’s own as it can be.  That is exactly how Merlin, at his core, sees the world.

Everything Merlin does to Mordred, he does for no other reason than that he thinks he has to.  (And I discussed in that other piece how Merlin is not foolish or mistaken for thinking so, either - important to keep in mind.)  But all of the things he has to do go completely against his nature, and by the time we hit the end of 5.11, I really feel that Merlin has descended into a pit of self-loathing that the show, because its ending is so poorly constructed, never allows him to climb out of.  

Every decision Merlin is forced to make about Mordred makes him hate himself a little more.  The decision to let Mordred die in 5.05 is visibly traumatizing for him.  He takes no pleasure in leaving Mordred behind for Morgana in 5.10.  And 5.11 is the ugliest, most soul-killing situation Merlin has been confronted with yet - he is torn between doing what he truly wants to do and what he feels like he has to do, when Kara comes into the picture.  He initially tries to hide Kara from Arthur, because there is no part of him that wants a Druid to be captured and harmed, even if she was with Morgana’s forces.  Mordred tells Merlin, “she’s one of us,” and Merlin agrees.  “Your secret is safe with me,” he says (and those are sacred words for Merlin; they’re exactly what Lancelot says to him in 1.05; this is not something Merlin would ever promise lightly).  He doesn’t betray Mordred’s secret, and when Kara is captured (through no fault of Merlin’s own) Merlin is the one who originally urges mercy, telling Arthur, “you’re breaking his heart/you’ll lose his trust” when Arthur claims he has no choice but to pursue execution.

However, after that, when Merlin learns that Mordred plans to escape with Kara, he boomerangs back to “he’s going to run to Morgana and then he’s going to kill Arthur and I am not allowed to let that happen/magical and godly forces have all told me that the entire fate of Albion and the future of magic all depends on me preventing Mordred from killing Arthur.”  And so he tells Arthur that Mordred is planning to escape, ultimately leading to Mordred and Kara’s recapture.

But THEN, after THAT, when they’re back in custody -  Merlin urges mercy yet again.  He tells Arthur to “free them both.”  He says, “How will one more death bring about the peace we long for?”  Merlin does not want Kara to be killed.  He does not want Mordred to suffer.  He does not want any of this to have happened; he did not rat Mordred out because he wanted to; he did it because he truly believed (for legitimate reasons) that he had no choice.  Like I talked about in that previous post - Merlin, at this point in the show, feels that his life has no purpose beyond the fulfillment of the destiny that has been prophesied.  He has come to see himself as a tool, with no intrinsic worth or value beyond what he can do to ensure Arthur’s survival (and thus the establishment of peace for all people).  He hates the things he’s supposed to do, but he literally cannot see an escape for himself.  This is just what he was “born” to do.

Even as far back as Season 3 we see this helplessness growing in him:

You feel trapped.  Like your whole life has been planned out for you, and you've got no control over anything, and sometimes you don't even know if what destiny has decided is really the best thing at all.

Merlin, in 5.11, doesn’t feel like what destiny has decided is the best thing.  But he also has reached a point where he feels like he has to do what he was told.  He’s seen the future.  He’s been told by multiple magical and divine sources that Arthur is the Once and Future King who is going to build the “the world we dream of.”  And so he does things that he thinks will enable that future to arrive (like preventing Mordred from running away with Kara), but because these things go so completely against his nature and cause him such pain, he then whips around and says, “Don’t kill her.  Let them go.”  He can’t help himself from slipping back into the kind of person he truly is on the inside.

He is trapped between his true self and what he feels is an inescapable duty.  And every step he takes away from his true nature makes him hate himself more.

Kara’s interview with Arthur, where she refuses to repent her “crimes” in exchange for her life, has one of the most telling, devastating shots in the show, when she says, “It is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are.”  The camera, in that moment, is trained on Merlin’s face, not hers:

That is done on purpose.  The cinematography is trying to say something.  It wants us to look at Merlin and listen to Kara’s word’s and hear the contradiction.  It wants us to recognize that Merlin is dying inside.  The absolute MISERY locked down in his expression here!  He has been forced to do things that seem to work against the very goal he’s been told he’s trying to achieve (to have the right to be who he is), and it’s been going on for so long that it’s shattered his soul.  He listens to Kara being able to say that, proudly, without fear, and he hates himself for not being like her.

But he can’t see any way to escape the things he knows he’s supposed to do.  So ultimately, at the very end, he does nothing, and Kara’s execution proceeds.

He despises himself for it, and when Mordred escapes and runs to Morgana, Merlin’s only reaction is a dull, hollow resignation.  He doesn’t blame Mordred for whatever’s going to happen next.  

He blames himself.

This is, yet again, another reason why the Merlin finale is garbage storytelling.

It makes no narrative sense for the show to give us 5.11, which ends with Merlin in quite possibly the darkest and most miserable, conflicted spot he has ever been in, and to then start the next episode with him having a raucous good time at the tavern.  Merlin, after what happens with Kara and Mordred, is not going to be out laughing and cheering, playing dice, and making casual, tongue-in-cheek, meta jokes about his secret like it isn’t the most painful and soul-destroying burden he’s ever had to carry (“Ah, I knew you’d discover my secret in the end.  There is just no fooling you, my lord!”).  It is inconceivable for him to be out partying, after the previous episode.  It’s insulting to me as a viewer, that the writers thought they could show this to me as if it’s an even remotely rational direction for the story to go, as if I’m not going ask “what the HECK is going on???” when I see Merlin gleefully stumbling home like a drunken frat boy, without a care or concern in the world.

There is ZERO tonal consistency between the end of 5.11 and the beginning of 5.12.  It’s horrendous writing, and it’s why I continuously say that Merlin BBC does not actually end, it just STOPS - abruptly cut off after 5.11, with a slapdash two-episode finale tacked on, one which does not actually resolve anyone’s arcs, or address any of the central questions of the show, or follow where the narrative was naturally heading prior to that point.

Merlin’s arc with Mordred is what finally takes him to a place where he is irrevocably, inescapably confronted with the conflict that he has been struggling with from day one - how is he supposed to justify the things that Destiny is asking him to do, when what it’s asking him to do seems to be hurting the very people he’s trying to help?  How is he supposed to reconcile his responsibility to his people (and HIMSELF) with an externally-imposed responsibility to protect Arthur?  He’s been wrestling with this cognitive dissonance for years, and 5.11 is the inevitable crisis point - Kara is dead, Mordred has defected to Morgana, Merlin’s secret is OUT, and Merlin has never hated or doubted himself more.  It makes no sense for the beginning of the next episode to show us Merlin living it up at the tavern.  Merlin is tortured, at the end of 5.11.  He’s dying inside.  The next episode was supposed to be a natural progression from that moment, meaning Merlin should have had the chance to finally confront his conflict head-on, rather than having it all completely wiped away by the pile of garbage that was the finale.

The correct fallout from Mordred’s “turn” should have been a reckoning.  Merlin never wanted to be in conflict with Mordred in the first place; he hated himself for everything he had to do, and I really think the end of 5.11 took us to a place where Merlin had finally been pushed over the edge; it was the last straw.  The only correct progression from that point would have been change, and Merlin was finally desperate enough to do what he needed to do to find himself again and make things right, but we never got to see it, because the people in charge decided to completely abandon every complicated question they’d been pursuing, in favor of “actually Arthur’s the good guy and we’re gonna pretend we didn’t just spend an entire episode reminding people how Camelot is still an unjust place.”

I don’t understand it.  The same people created 5.11, too.  They wrote Kara’s righteous speech.  They framed her execution as an evil, and they framed Mordred’s flight as something Merlin and Arthur brought upon themselves.  

And then they did a 180 and dumped every ethical question they ever raised.  They never let Merlin find his feet or hold his head up high, and I’m honestly never going to forgive them for that.

[annethepancake]

Sherlock rant

I recently rewatched BBC Sherlock for Rupert Graves, and aside from the lack of Lestrade appreciation I have a lot of problems with this series. Here are my thoughts:

1. It was all a blur

My second first impression of the show: I don't remember anything but the characters. And some characters I just blatantly forgot, like Mary. And I loved Mary on my second watch! I really forgot that at one point John actually got married and I don't even remember when I watched the show for the first time. I can still recall most of HIMYM's events and I hated that series.

2. It’s overall not a detective/crime show

Watching Sherlock for the second time, I mostly turned off my brain and just let it play in the background because (1) there's hardly anything for me to solve with the characters, most clues are taken by Sherlock off-screen anyway (especially after season 2), (2) they focus way too much on the quirks of the characters that make it almost like a sitcom that got dragged on for way too long. A crime/detective show shouldn't allow me to turn off my brain.

3. The characters just kinda fall flat

Exploring the depth of human emotions is not a bad approach to a modernized version of anything, I’m not trying to pretend I’m better than someone who gets sentimental over fictional character (if you know my blog at all, you know I am not), but at least write good characters. Sherlock is hardly a multi-faceted person; in fact, he’s kinda like the Wattpad teen fic main character sometimes. He physically fights off some terrorists with a machete to save the damsel in distress? He gets high off his tits but still got everything right all the time? John is just kinda there for most of the cases. Jim is a poorly written antagonist. Irene is a lesbian but gets the hot for our main character, surprise surprise. The only interesting characters to me are the ones who act like normal people: Molly, Greg and Mary. They are the multi-faceted characters, ones who I can actually relate to without feeling inferior to them in any way. Write characters like them, stop trying to be smart about it and stop writing Wattpad fanfictions for Sir Conan Doyle’s original works.

I get that they try to make Sherlock more like a human with emotions, making him quirky and arrogant, then make him quirky and more likable. It’s hardly a convincing character development though. He’s given over-powered deduction skills, so edgy, so high and mighty all the time. When he is finally written as vulnerable, turns out he has plans for that too. I would love to see him get it wrong once and maybe get humbled by that mistake, but getting Mary shot and killed is hardly even his fault, he is only doing his job. And killing off Mary is overall a bad idea anyway.

4. They treated the fandom like shit

I was absolutely disgusted at the start of season 3 when the showrunners just straight up shat on their fans. I wasn't there with the fandom during the wait between season 2 and 3, but I believe it was a pretty long wait (2 years, I could barely wait 2 years for my comfort series, and they have like 10 episodes per season), and they were presented with the first actual mystery of the series: How did Sherlock survive the fall? After years of waiting and having fun theorizing, they were met with a mockumentary about them, starring the most hated character of the protagonist and the fans. Those are the people who actually cared about the show for god's sake. The fact that the showrunners treated fans like crap and there's still an active fandom for the show appalled me.

Now not only The Empty Hearse bugs me, but the entire show does as well.

Allow me to digress.

Doki Doki Literature Club is a great example of audience engagement done right (Sorry for using this example I’m not actually that invested in the other franchises). After the success of the first game, the story provoked so many fans into solving the mysteries of the characters, some of them went really, really far. And that’s because of the actual mysteries that the development team took effort to plant into the plot. There is actual pay-off for painstakingly following the clues; as far as I know, only two (2!) people in the world have come close to solving the mystery of the first game (or they actually did). The game developers value their fans and their intelligence enough to have planted those clues where they did, and it’s a genuine exchange between the fans and the creators. Now even though you haven’t actually played the game, when you hear of the name and you’re only kinda familiar with gaming (like me), you’ll probably know what it is. What started as a mere open-source game by an indie developer became a sensation which left millions of fans begging for more.

Looking back at Sherlock, there are tons of logical flaws for a self-proclaimed crime series, virtually no clues for the audience to solve crimes along with their favorite detective, and when there was actually a mystery (Sherlock jumped off the building), they plainly showed him alive and well minutes later. Do we really need to see things spelled on screen to know what’s going on? Are we supposed to accept that Sherlock Holmes is an all-knowing future-predicting genius now too? Not a great sign of respecting the audience there.

So far, the only thing left that’s interesting about this series is the characters’ dynamic. Which brings me to the next criticism I have for the show.

5. The plague that infested mainstream media

Why is there still an active fandom? Queerbaiting and targeted marketing.

Community marketing is proven to be one of the best marketing methods there is, if not the best, to lengthen the lifespan of a product or service. The way they do that for shows and films and video games is usually by planting seeds of possible lores and history inside the content. Look at Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, they are franchises that ran for multiple years with a ton of history and world building that provokes fans’ imagination.

Sherlock - well, Sherlock has sexually ambiguous men.

Sherlock has a formula for success. It was an adaptation of the most iconic detective novel in the world, funded by one of the biggest TV networks in the UK and possibly the world (don’t quote me on this). Making this series means you can appeal to such a wide group of audience even before airing. Adding in the quirky smart men who live together, you’ve basically guaranteed a prime-time show with millions of loyal fans all over the world.

Fans are not stupid, and queer people don't just find queerness everywhere they go. They know a gay subtext when they see one. Sherlock came back from the literal death for John, pretty gay if you ask me.

This show is very much not just about some guys being dudes solving crimes, they have relationship that’s deeper than friendship, and definitely not platonic. They deliberately wrote a sexually ambiguous Sherlock Holmes from the get-go - literally from the very first episode, then capitalized off of the targeted demographic, never a pay-off for their anticipation. Martin Freeman said in interviews that he could recognize Sherlock fans, them being generally women from 16 - 25. No shit Sherlock, this show targets them and capitalizes off of them, being quirky and gay as hell, of course the fanbase is generally 16 - 25 and female.

Sherlock queerbaited the fandom for years for the sake of marketing and there’s never a pay-off, nor was there any recognition to the community, and to add to all that bigotry, queercoding pretty much all of the villains? Why was a show aired in the 2010′s allowed to do this? Why did Mark Gatiss, an openly gay man, a writer of the show, allow this to happen? Why are millions of fans all over the world allowing all this to go on?!

6. Conclusion

Now I haven’t read the books yet, so I’m not at all qualified to criticize the adaptation quality of the TV series; I’m just talking about the TV series on its own. Despite my criticism, I think the first two seasons did quite okay. There are quite a few nice cases there, I like The Blind Banker and The Hound of Baskerville. They did those well because the focus was on the cases themselves, and the connection between John and Sherlock was only in the background. I, like many other fans, like to figure things out on my own, to read between the lines, and to not have things spelled out for me. With the next seasons bombarded with Sherlock and John bonding it seriously felt like mere fan service for me and even though I wasn’t there when the show was on, I still felt like I was robbed and my interest in the show was abused.

Sherlock is undoubtedly super influential in pop culture even now. It has to have done something right to be in that spot (capitalizing off loyal fans?). I’m not writing this rant to change someone’s mind about the series, by all means, I’m still gonna love the hell out of Gavin Lestrade, and absolutely lose my mind over Mary Watson. So do take my words with a grain of salt, I’m just disappointed that one of the most influential shows there is is just short of my expectations.