#why does nobody ever talk about the actual SONG

[jacarandaaaas]

“Oh someone posted a clip of waiting on a miracle on tiktok I wonder what the comments-

media literacy is DEAD.

[sysig]

It started with a whisper ♥ (Patreon)

[elllisaaa]

fjhkvdhfvd I LOVE YOUR BF THOUGHTS SO MUCH!!! you write them so well 😭😭😭 can we please get a vernon one!!! ahhh

thank youuu so much ! i'm really glad this concept gets attention because i really like doing this, hope you'll like it !

BF!VERNON who's maybe not the most expressive but who knows how to show you that he loves you through many other ways.

vernon says "i love you" without any words, and actually, you love it that way a lot. for example, whenever you recommend a song to him or when he sees you listening to something he doesn't know, he's gonna go listen to it too. you have a shared playlist and he also made you a playlist filled with songs that reminded him of you, and the lyrics or vibes sometimes hit so deep it makes you tear up how much he gets you. this is something recurring between you and vernon - the non-verbal communication. you can literally spend hours and hours with each other without even speaking because you don't need words to understand each other. that's something vernon loves a lot because sometimes he just wants to hold you in his arms, scroll on his phone and not talk at all. both of you often have stay at home dates rather than going out, but vernon always makes sure to plan a fun activity - like building legos, trying to learn how to paint or doing scrapbooking with pics of the two of you. it allows you to test some activities you wouldn't usually have and it's fun when it's with him.

"what are we doing tonight baby ?" - "it's a secret, but i know you're gonna love it."

he stares at you a lot whenever you're doing mundane things - washing the dishes, simply reading or when you're putting on makeup. it's so domestic, it makes his heart beat faster and think about marrying you soon. vernon also does this when you're talking with someone else, staring at you because he just loves to see you live and shine. he always has a faint smile on his lips when he's watching you, and generally, he smiles a lot around you. that's something his members quickly noticed, even before the two of you got together. and you never fail to tell him that you love his smile, and that flusters him every time. actually, every one of your compliments makes him shy. however, he often flusters you very easily with some random words or gestures and gifts that make you fall in love with him even more. vernon is the type to just look you in the eyes and bluntly tell you that you're gorgeous just because it crossed his mind suddenly how pretty you are.

"why are you looking at me like that ? is there something wrong with my makeup ?" - "you're so pretty, i don't understand how it's possible."

if sometimes vernon just wants to stay quiet and not say a word, there are other times where the two of you end up talking for hours, jumping from subject to subject because one of you always has something to tell, something to debate about. when you are talking together, it's like you're inside of a little bubble where only you and vernon exist and you love it. that leads to the both of you having so many inside jokes that nobody gets - you're laughing like maniacs when everyone else around you is just confused and doesn't understand anything. honestly, sometimes your couple looks a little awkward from the outside, but it all fits perfectly and the way you're just so right for him is something vernon still has trouble understanding. sometimes, when he thinks that he doesn't deserve you, that he thinks he doesn't do enough to make you happy, you need to remind him that he's been perfect from the start. you can count the times you saw vernon crying with your fingers, but he knows that every time he's down, he can just let go in your embrace and let himself be vulnerable.

"i feel so safe when you're here, i don't ever want you to leave."

BF!VERNON who's just going with the flow because as long as he's inside of you, it doesn't matter if he's in control or not.

he's much more talkative when it comes to sex because he just cannot shut up when you're doing so good for him. whether it's praises, just some random thoughts, babbling or degrading words, he needs to speak to you through it. when he wants to tease you, he whispers his dirty words directly in your ears, knowing how much it turns you on. when he's just so lost in how good you feel, he just says whatever is on his mind - mostly compliments and swear words. when he's in a more romantic mood, he's constantly praising you, telling you again and again that you're perfect and gorgeous. and vernon also likes it when you're talking to him too, loves to hear you say how good he's making you feel, that you're close or that you want more. generally, the noises you make are really appreciated, even going as far as stopping you from putting your hand over your mouth when you think you're too loud because vernon wants to hear it all.

"shit… you're taking me so well, baby, i don't think i'm going to last if you keep squeezing around my cock like that."

just like vernon loves doing new activities with you, he also loves to experiment in the bedroom. you want to test something ? he's down. you have an unusual fantasy that you want to try ? no problem. after all, there's no harm in doing something out of the ordinary - if you both like it, it's good, and if you don't in the end, then it's okay too, you just won't do it again. that's how he discovered some things he didn't think he would like but that slowly became his favorites, like hair pulling for example. you ask him to pull on your hair all the time when he's taking you from behind, and he loves to do it to punish you too, but he came to wonder how it would feel if you pulled on his instead. so he asked, you did it, and he never wanted you to stop. no matter if he's eating you out or fucking you, vernon wants your fingers tugging on his strands hard enough to make it hurt a little. sometimes, you're pulling at each other's hair, moaning together at the feeling.

"want me to pull on your cute ponytail ? then pull on my hair too, yeah ? fuck, just like that…"

as stated before, he loves to watch you do almost anything, but he loves to watch you get off even more. when you're fucking, he cannot detach his eyes from your glistening folds, from his cock thrusting inside of you or from your face contorting in pleasure. so sometimes, he just leans back and asks you to touch yourself for him. he knows you're frustrated because he's just one feet away and he won't touch you, but he can't help it, he loves to see you masturbate. the fact that you whine about how your fingers cannot reach as deep as his, and that it's not fair gets him so hard. if vernon is in a teasing mood, he will even jerk off in front of you, just to make it "even". the feeling of cumming together, eyes in eyes, while you're both touching yourselves is unmatched for him. also a lot of phone sex is involved, whenever he's away, he calls you at night and asks you to facetime him and show him your cunt, to touch yourself in front of the camera for him. sometimes, he's jerking off too, but sometimes he only watches you reach your orgasm while biting his lips.

"show me your pretty cunt, baby. you're needy ? then put one finger in for me."

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Inumaki Toge being insecure about his speech (or the lack of thereof).

I feel like if he could trade a year of his life for sixty seconds without his cursed speech, he would. Without second thought. And specially because of you.

He's had a crush on you for a while (ever since your first encounter), but he'd never admit it. Not because he's scared of rejection, but because he's scared you'll reciprocate his feelings. Because he thinks you deserve better. Actually, scratch that: he knows you deserve better. You deserve someone so much better than him.

"And then you won't believe what he said! He said: 'I can't date you, cause I'm actually your brother!'"

"No way! That's the plot of the movie? How shitty!"

You deserve someone like Yuta. Someone who can make you laugh with their own words, someone who you don't need to strugle to understand what they're saying. Right now, you and Okkotsu are talking about some bad movie he watched. And you're laughing so hard and your laugh is so pretty it makes him wanna laugh too. He wants to engage on the conversation. He wants to say: "That's one of the worst plots I've ever seen! I can take you to the movies to see a real good movie if you'd like to"

But he can't. He can't, but Yuta can. He should let you go so you can be with someone who deserves you. He has no right to be this selfish, making you a slave of a love without any words of affection.

It feels like everytime he looks at you, there's a nagging voice in the back of his head, painfully reminding him that he can't be with you, and there's nothing he can do about it. It's an impossible love.

Hell, even Panda is making him feel envious and jealous. Even though he's literally a panda, at least he can talk to you. Sing your favorites songs with you. And he can't. At least not without cursing someone (and, God forbid, maybe even you. You're the last person he wants to harm)

He wanted you to confide in him just like how you confide in Maki. You always tell her everything. He wishes he, too, could be a source of relief. A shoulder you can rely on. But he can't. He can't, cause the best he could say in that situation is "Salmon", "Caviar" and other stupid onigiri ingredients that have nothing to do with the actual topic of the conversation. Honestly, he would be tired of himself if he was his friend. You don't have the obligation to understand his dialogue. Nobody does.

So, he comes to the conclusion that he should just avoid you. He should give up on loving you, because he doesn't want you to suffer.

"Toge, please! We haven't talked in days! Why did you suddenly stop talking to me?"

He stays silent. That's the only thing he can do, after all. He can't speak. He can't. But he wishes he could. He wishes he could tell you everything that's going through his head, tell you about how he feels like dying when he sees you playing a game with Itadori and Nobara because he knows he'll never be capable of doing that with you normally. If he speaks now, everything that'll come out of his mouth are foods. Speaking now would only remind him about the drift that exists between you both (and there's two options to avoid anyone's fall: you either close the gap or you widen it. He chose the latter)

"..."

"Inumaki, talk to me" (how sad. You want him to do exactly the only thing he can't do. That just makes him remember that he'll never be enough for you. Never)

Also, wow. You're using his last name. He got in a really bad situation, huh? How will he get out of this? How will he stop your (and also his) suffering?

There's only one way. And even though he swore that he'd never use his spell against you, he finds himself lowering his scarf with trembling hands.

"Leave. And don't look back."

~A/N: This is the fic I wrote that I mentioned on my last post!! I know a lot of people have writen abt this b4, so this is inspired by other stories I've read (if you've written something like this and want me to credit you, feel free to send me an ask!!). IT JUST FITS INUMAKI CHARACTER SO MUCHHH!! Like, I can totally imagine him being insecure about not being able to speak. I just thought I should give it a try cause I CAN'T FIND INUMAKI STUFF, so I took matters into my own hands. I don't realy like this, but I thought it would be a waste to not post it anyway

Masterlist

[maxillness]

Write Me A Song || Piastri!Singer!Reader x Mark Webber

Summary: Yn's been spending a little too much time with her brother's mentor

Warnings: Talk about pregnancy and pre-eclampsia, yn is besties with taylor swift

Face claim: Isabel LaRosa

Tagged oscarpiastri, aussiegrit

Liked by oscarpiastri and 28,893,894 others

ynpiastri It's giving son and father on the first school day, and I'm here for it... I'm in the paddock this weekend... If that wasn't obvious

aussiegrit It's pretty obvious

ynpiastri Nobody asked you, kangaroo

aussigrit You're Australian too...?

ynpiastri You've just gotten un-invited to my concert

aussiegrit Wow... What a loss

taylorswift Say hi to Nando from me 😘

ynpiastri Will do, baby ✨

user Never beating the taylor x nando allegations

Tagged ynpiastri

Liked by ynpiastri and 421,983 others

aussiegrit Showed up anyways

ynpiastri You know, un-invited, means not invited, right?

aussiegrit Does it look like i give a rats ass?

ynpiastri Kangaroo

user Can we just talk about how two of the pictures he took is where you see pretty much EVERYTHING?

user Man's got a crush

user Imagine that though 💀 Mark Webber having a crush on his protégé's older sister

user Right out of a fanfic

Tagged aussiegrit, oscarpiastri

Liked by oscarpiastri, aussiegrit and 29,182,982 others

ynpiastri Some much needed summer vacation

user Can we just talk about why yn's at a grill party where mark is half naked??

ynpiastri Oscar was there too

user But you took a picture of mark HALF NAKED

ynpiastri Oscar's in the picture too... The person to the left wearing a black shirt

oscarpiastri Mom's trying to call you

ynpiastri I know... I'm watching it ring

aussiegrit Is that photo absolutely necessary?

ynpiastri I don't know what you're talking about

Liked by oscarpiastri and 29,298,983 others

ynpiastri Took home a stray after yesterday's concert (jk. he's a friend)

oscarpiastri You have friends?

ynpiastri Man, don't even talk. You only have Lily and Lando

oscarpiastri ... And mom

user A friend you say? Kinda look like webber if you ask me

user Mark and yn are friends?

user But why would she take him home with her?

user You got me there

Liked by oscarpiastri and 241,289 others

aussiegrit Who ever said it was a good idea to date someone younger is lying

ynpiastri @/oscarpiastri You knew about this shit?

oscarpiastri I knew he was dating someone, just not who

user Guys, yn's so confused, i don't think it's her

user Could be a bluff, though

Tagged taylorswift

Liked by taylorswift and 29,389,367 others

ynpiastri I love you @/taylorswift, and thank you to the person who took that photo of me and my boyfriend

oscarpiastri Boyfriend?

ynpiastri You're not the only one in a stable relationship

taylorswift I love you too, mami 🎀

user We need to find the person who took that photo so they can tell us who he is

ynpiastri Jokes on you, they promised not to say anything 😉

user Damn it...

Liked by aussiegrit and 29,441,492 others

ynpiastri Early mornings are the best

user This is actually so cute 😭

user I keep my ground. Man looks like @/aussiegrit

aussiegrit Fuck you mean? I woke you up at 10 am once, and you called me a whore and kicked me out of your room because it was 'too early'

ynpiastri You are a whore

user 💀

Liked by taylorswift and 29,598,345 others

ynpiastri We've decided to reveal our relationship when I give birth in about 5 months time

oscarpiastri THIS is how i find out you're pregnant?

ynpiastri Well, if you would actually pick up your phone

user Mother is pregnant?!?!

taylorswift I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE YALL

ynpiastri Jeez, you're more excited about me being pregnant than I am

taylorswift I'm gonna be the best aunt there is. Watch me

Tagged aussiegrit

Liked by aussiegrit, oscarpiastri and 29,698,346 others

ynpiastri Early in my pregnancy, I got pre-eclampsia and my doctor told me to stay in bed. It gave me time to write more songs, so I wrote this just for you, my kangaroo.

I know you'll be a great father for our little kangaroo

user Mother, you can not get me to cry like that 😭

ynpiastri Sorry, love ❤️

oscarpiastri I don't care what @/taylorswift says, he's my nephew

taylorswift If he was my nephew, he'd have bad blood

ynpiastri You just couldn't help yourself, could you?

taylorswift 🎀

aussiegrit I love you, darling

ynpiastri I love you too, kangaroo

user Honestly, nobody is surprised it's Mark

user What IS surprising, is that mark now have a kid

user And yn as well. We're not lying when we call her mommy anymore

[genericpuff]

Ive read a few of your LO esaays (all of which are really well written!) But I was wondering something.

Many people talk about how Rachel loves the story Lolita, and has talked about it before, but nobody has ever shown screenshots. I was wondering if you had any or knew where to find any. This is just being curious, not doubting your statements

Ah so I actually responded to a comment just like this a while back on reddit with all the receipts (it was particularly someone who was claiming it was all "made up" because like you, they couldn't seem to get any proof of it, which is totally valid) so I just had to go and dig those back up haha

DISCLAIMER: I want to make it clear that a lot of people tend to run amok with these suspicious pieces of evidence towards Rachel either "thinking Lolita was a romance" or being a pedophile. I want to make it clear that I do not think any of this is proof towards either of these claims. I do not think that she blatantly thinks Lolita is a romance, or that she was trying to perpetuate pedophilia in any sort of way, just that she may have wanted to have her cake and eat it too by acknowledging the age gap but embracing it anyways as she does throughout LO. I think, at best, she's a terrible writer who's still using the things she liked when she was a teenager / young adult as inspiration without actually going back and re-analyzing those things with an updated 38-year-old viewpoint (as she does this with a lot of things, not just Lolita). Claiming that the following receipts is 'proof' of Rachel being some kind of sex pest / pedophile is at best not constructive at all for the real discussions to be had concerning LO's subtext, and at worst, a serious claim that can ruin someone's life if thrown around without cause. Let's please be responsible and level-headed in how we approach this topic.

Old MySpace + DeviantArt bios with her interests listed:

Her old art site where she labels herself as a "lolita vamp" artist:

Her intro post from a lolita-themed forum she ran:

She does express that it's not THAT kind of lolita, which I'd like to think she never intended in the first place, but it's really telling that LO still manages to be that kind of lolita in a lot of ways, to the point that there are many scenes in LO that feel a little too similar to scenes from the 1990's Jeremy Irons adaptation, such as seen here.

(the above image are song lyrics written about the book, Lolita)

Also despite Rachel saying it wasn't "that kind" of lolita, she still made it clear back in the 2017/2018 run of the comic on Tumblr that Hades is, indeed, a "grown ass man", and that Persephone is a teenager.

And of course the proof is in the pudding, the comic itself is well aware of Persephone's age:

(either Rachel has been using Apollo as a mouthpiece for criticism for years, or she seriously thought this was supposed to make Hades look like the better partner for Persephone because "look at how mean Apollo is" when... he's deadass spitting facts LOL)

As I mentioned in my disclaimer, I don't think Rachel herself is in any way a sex pest or a pedo or whatever you might jump to assuming. Rachel has a history of being inspired by things she watched when she was a child without ever actually going back to re-analyze it or ask herself if what she read was credible or real-

(this isn't the only proof there is of her behaving this way, there's also the fact that she was clearly a huge Disney fan as a child but never asked herself why those movies worked as a piece of written media).

So again, I think at best she's just sort of dated herself by not going to the effort of researching the things she was into when she was a child, she tends to just throw things in that she likes haphazardly without a single thought as to why they worked in the first place or whether or not they would work in LO. Though this is a bit of a saltier opinion, I think when it comes to the Lolita thing specifically, I have a feeling she never actually read the book, just sorta did that thing where she watched the movie adaptation from the 90's and assumed that counted as reading the book and so she put it down as her favorite book / Nabokov as her favorite writer.

But none of that speculation really makes much difference because the evidence is 20+ years old. What does matter is that despite her tastes being what they were 20+ years ago, they're still present in LO and it's not even subtle, there are so many times Rachel has outright said both within the comic and outside of it that Hades is a "grown ass man" and Persephone is a literal teenager. Her fans, of course, will still go to the effort of explaining it on her behalf ("they're gods! ageing isn't a thing for them!" "how old you are doesn't matter when you can be immortal!" "well she probably doesn't mean LITERALLY 19, just like, the god version of it..."), but you can't deny what's coming from the horse's mouth - Hades and Persephone are in a relationship based on an intentionally massive age gap. Regardless of what completely speculative parallels we can draw between H x P and that of Lolita's Humbert Humbert and Dolores using 20 year old MySpace bios as evidence, Hades and Persephone having a massive and intentional age gap is undeniable fact made canon by the creator herself, no matter how you try and slice it.

[dtmsrpfcringe]

We don't hate women. We hate women who are abusive towards their partners.

Michael and David both deserve better and just because you want to buy into what PR and social media tells you, you don't have to attack other people for being upset over actors they care about possibly not being happy.

David wouldn't leave Georgia, they are married and have children, so he feels responsible. He always puts other people before himself. And Anna played it well with the babies, as harsh as it sounds. Michael would feel terrible leaving the girls. People staying in relationships doesn't prove you right, sadly. It's no sign of anything other than commitment and commitment doesn't always come from a place of love.

By saying that Michael and David shippers want to see them unhappy in their relationship, you show that you're missing the point. The whole point of shipping them is wanting them to be happy. You just want to be hateful towards people who don't suppprt your narrative, it seems.

GOD I WISH TUMBLR WOULD LET ME ADD TEXTS BEFORE ASKS SO I COULD SAY “Warning: you’re about to hear one of the most moronic takes I have ever heard” *insert gif of amanojaku from ghost stories here* okay let’s…we have to break this down it’s too much for me to just laugh at and go “wow this is dumb as hell”

“We don’t hate women, we just make up stuff so we can justify hating them”- you. where’s…where’s any shred of proof that either women are even a little bit abusive? I mean don’t you think we would have seen some of that by now? And no, enty lawyer doesn’t count as proof and neither does random screenshots of a bit of text with zero context. Also neither do jokes online with your partner when they’re okay with it (and make the same jokes quite literally all the time) and nobody sees a problem with it except the people that conveniently hate these women.

2. “Michael and David both deserve better” yes I’m sure the rich white middle aged men who are two of the most popular actors in their countries who have girlfriends/wives and kids who love and adore them are surely hurting because some weirdo on tumblr says it.

3. Hate to tell you this but married people with children divorce all the time. It’s not like if they divorce he is going to suddenly vanish in a puff of smoke babe.

4. Even if that’s true, your theory of him only staying out of responsibility is bullshit. Someone who stays for the kids isn’t going to dip their wife into a kiss on the red carpet and look at her like a hozier song sounds. If there’s any event or interview where he can find a way to praise Georgia, he does it. He always talks about her. After events they’ve been seen kissing deeply and walking arm in arm honeymoon style.

5. as for Anna and Michael, (David and Georgia too but they seem more open to pda) they don’t owe you pda. Michael has been more than adamant about defending his girlfriend on twitter and good for him about it.

6. if you guys were genuinely concerned with Michael and David’s impending relationship crashes, why is it always tied to their love for one another? The only people who see This rampant “abuse and unhappiness” is this group of people who believe David and Michael are actually in love and want to elope together. Nobody else. Not even other Sheenant shippers. You guys literally just hate them, I mean Invisibleicewands has been talking shit on Anna since she posted her first photo with Michael back in 2019 and hasn’t stopped.

7. “And Anna played it well with the babies, as harsh as it sounds.” seriously what the absolute crap is this supposed to mean my dude? I’ve gotta be honest….you know how smex works right? Michael could absolutely choose to use protection!!! Why is it on her? Not on him. He’s had kids before I think he knows that a stork doesn’t bring the baby. Holy hell you people make my eyes hurt

8. (finally) funny you should bring up narratives, you know considering you’re part of the group that thinks any affection towards anybody else that isn’t them is PR (thinking of the Joseph Fiennes hug fiasco) that lied about Georgia and Anna being abusive, that has tried time and time again and moved the goalpost, that fabricates evidence and tries to send death threats to people who speak out, and then lie about it, that your group is the one who can’t handle women working together and have to call everything PR. The same group that ignores the fact that Anna and Georgia are friends, to talk grave shit on them. Newsflash sweetheart, we aren’t the ones pushing the narrative here. You only want to see David and Michael happy as long as it aligns with your delusion. Have the day you deserve.

anyways, I think this is going to be my pinned post. Mostly because I want this to be embarrassing if you ever try to come back here and lie on Betty whites internet again, but also because I think this addresses so many tin hat talking points at once. Just because we love aziraphale and crowley doesn't mean we get the right to insert ourselves into their personal lives, you wouldn't want someone else praying for your relationship to fail.

[bo0tleg]

GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING 'TOP GUN: MAVERICK' FOR THE FIRST TIME:

"The jacket! The famous jacket that pulls women, pulls men, pulls the world!"

"Oh look how hot~ he looks on that motorcicle. He's even pracing his ass!"

(Maverick, on screen: "Well... He's not here yet.") The mans madness has begun."

"MAVERICK DON'T DIE YOU STILL NEED TO HAVE YOUR GAY ROMANCE!"

"He lasted two months at Top Gun? HA. He probably was a bigger piece of work than the students."

"From what I can tell, Maverick tamed Iceman. In the first one he was the little annoying bitch and Maverick saw a challenge."

"I mean, at least these two (Penny and Mav) have chemistry. They hooked up in a plane, after all."

"Iceman solves his problems, Iceman keeps his job, what a simp. That's dog behavior."

"Maverick doesn't look likes he's flirting with her, he's just confused. His confused face looks like his flirting face, and people assume. I know this because people do it to me."

"Yeah, he's kinda like that one Olívia Rodrigo song that she gets confused when she sees her ex... What was it again?" ('bad Idea right?' by Olivia Rodrigo)

"I like him (Bob)! He's pathetic like me!"

"Oooohhh they're (Phoenix and Bob) gonna be besties! I can feel it."

(When Phoenix racks Rooster with the cue) "OHOHOHOOOO I LIKE HER ALREADY."

(Didn't notice Hangman taking Bob's cue, I relayed the information) "Aaaahhh don't steal Bob's cue. Bob's cool, Bob's nice."

(After rewinding the scene) "NO, NO, NO! WHO IS THAT? NOBODY CAN STEAL BOB'S CUE! I don't like him (Hangman)."

(Hangman, on screen: Bradshaw! As I live and breathe!) *Slowly turns towards me with dead eyes*

"That's not enemies to lovers, that's just enemies."

"With just this scene, I can tell this guy (Hangman) comes and goes. 'Sometimes I flirt with you, sometimes I hate you.' He's like a tsudere."

"Oh, got it. Phoenix is adopted into the man's group. She's a bro."

"I wouldn't say that they're his support system, but those two are the people that know him the best. Hangman is paying attention because he wants to be the best and needs to defeat Rooster. Phoenix is demonstrating a more sibling like worry."

"Hondo is like Mavericks babysitter."

"Oh. Oh, now Mav's flirting with her."

(Following the 'Baby on Board' comment) "Don't talk shit about Bob! I don't like Hangman."

"Maverick is like a step father to Rooster. Not in the 'HAHA I FUCKED YOUR MOM' kind of way, but in the way that he helped raise him."

"Where is Iceman? I'm here for the two of them, I don't give a fuck about Aeronautics."

"I think Ice and Maverick had a long relationship, but they're not together anymore. They maintained a friendship, but their lives probably went in different directions. I'd say they were together for 10, maybe 20 years."

('I ain't worried' by OneRepublic starts playing) "This song is from 2022? OH MY GOD THE SCENE"

"DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH GRANDPA!"

*Started chanting "BOB! BOB! BOB!" When he got picked up*

*Eeriely quiet during the bird strike, until Maverick starts talking to Rooster* "OH THEY'RE NOT DEAD. THEY COULDN'T HAVE KILLED BOB! IF THEY KILLED BOB I WOULD STOP AND NEVER WATCH TOP GUN EVER AGAIN!"

"Definitely 20 years. Ice is probably the only person Mav actually loved. Like, not a fling?" "Yeah, probably." "He's been with lots of women, and men, but Iceman is the only person he was ever in love with– maybe still is."

"I think his (Ice's) wife knows. That's probably why she recognizes Mav and is kind of friends with him." "That's probably why she just let him go up to see Ice." "YEAH GO AHEAD, FUCK MY HUSBAND!"

"It's pretty easy to notice that Snowman– No, ICEman."

"That is the face of a man who just lost the love of his life."

"Damn, the mans a beast. If It was me I'd already have cried, alone, in a room absolutely destroyed, never to come out again."

"He's got nobody, dude! I just want his step child to come back, because If he doesn't that man's gonna kill himself!"

"Why does it always have to have a romantic ending. Just leave him with his adoptive son. Go away."

"They (Penny and Mav) aren't going to end up together."

"I have a theory! Fanboy is obsessed with women! Cus he's 'Fanboy'." "But wouldn't he be called Simp, then?" "Ah, then he's obsessed with men." "... simp can be for men too."

"There's gonna be a Top Gun Three? Who's it gonna be about? It ain't gonna be Maverick, that man has a foot in the grave already."

"Bob is my favorite in the second movie. I have no favorites in the first one because everybody is very macho and very gay, and that's boring."

[whyse7vn]

SEVEN -

[ ot7 x reader ]

sevendaysafreak

8 participants - 8 online

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tae: we are watching jungkook slowly become alpha

namjoon: can you be normal today

jk: do you really mean that bro…

tae: with all my heart..

oh my god i’m tearing up

this is what being a real man is about

jimin: begging for pussy??

jk: I DID NOT BEG??

hobi: you harassed that poor woman for a whole week

yoongi: all for a hand hold

y/n: crazy!

tae: okay??

but it was literally real as fuck so does it matter??

jimin: it was real fucking sad

jin: personally if i was her i would of called the police like sexual harassment hello???

yoongi: right

namjoon: it was a great song jungkook

jk: > //// <

i’m blushing

that was me blushing

and i giggled a little

smiling rn

hehehehehe

namjoon: a thank you would of done it

jk: thank u >.<

jimin: she should of punched him

jin: was there need for an explicit version like??

we got the point the first time

i didn’t need to hear how horny you were for a second time

hobi: he just wanted to swear

tae: no he’s just real as fuck you wouldn’t get it

jk: real as fuck

yoongi: ig it was real as fuck for jungkook

he begs for pussy on a daily

jk: proof?

hobi: by bts

y/n: i’ll leak our dms

jk: DON’T DON’T DON’T

i’m sowyy 😣

jimin: i’m gonna punch him

hobi: fucking seven days a week doesn’t seem right

is that not how you get an std?

jk: no?

yoongi: is that not when you fuck multiple people?

y/n: you fuck multiple people jk?

jk: NO?????

jimin: why is ur no a question

hobi: suspicious

jin: jungkook has crabs

tae: that’s a real man disease

y/n: that’s gross

jk: i’m real

jimin: real itchy

namjoon: can we not talk about stds pls

y/n: i bet jay park has a couple of those

jk: ???

jimin: REALLLL

jin: that’s why him and jk are friends bonded over the burn

jk: i’m not his friend anymore

y/n: character development okay!!!

yoongi: was that bcs he stole from you?

jk: stop talking to me rn

jimin: OMG GUYS

yk i had the worst dream ever yesterday tae was in it

tae: and?

jimin: wdym and

tae: i hope you die

namjoon: pls don’t wish death upon people tae

jimin: yeah tae

tae: all of you can fucking die idc!!!

not jungkook tho he real as fuck

y/n: say real as fuck one more time and i’ll snap ur neck

jin: hot asf

yoongi: ew?

tae: nobody wants to see us winning jk it’s sad 😞

jk: i’m sobbing 💔💔😞😞💔💔

tae: they literally told us to kill ourselves

namjoon: literally no one said that

jimin: in fact YOU said you hope i die

jk: he could of meant by natural causes

tae: right i would never tell you to kill ur self that’s sick and evil

yoongi: kys

tae: ur not going to heaven

yoongi: aw man 🙁

hobi: what if we put tae in the electric chair

jin: what if we put tae and jungkook in the electric chair

jk: wtf ☹️

tae: i could easily survive the electric chair it would feel good to me actually

y/n: i’ve been telling you guys for years we need to lock them up

do you actually read the bullshit they say on a daily it’s actually insane they need help

like professional help

jk: i didn’t even say anything

jimin: you don’t need to

we just know

namjoon: i agree

we could send them to a camp

or something

tae: why are you talking about us like we’re not RIGHT here

jungkook get them omg

jk: i can’t go to camp

too much raw air exposure is bad for my skin

and i have a dentist appointment soon

yoongi: raw air?

jin: how soon is ur appointment?

jk: so soon that i can’t go to camp

tae: JUNGKOOK STAND UR GROUND

WE WILL NOT BE PUSHED AROUND

REPEAT AFTER ME

WE WILL NOT BE PUSHED AROUND

namjoon: tae shut up

y/n: right

tae: i liked it better when you guys just ignored me in this gc

now all you do is be mean

jimin: maybe u deserve it

*you definitely deserve it

hobi: stop talking then idk

yoongi: i will gladly ignore you again

jk: i love you tae i’ll listen to you talk

jin: jungkook the biggest dick rider ever

tae: he’s my little dick rider 🥰😍❤️

hobi: yeah definitely stop talking

namjoon: okay!

y/n: oh my god

jimin: ???

yoongi: um

jin: this is what seven was really about

jk: bro..

tae: lol

jimin: you're really gorgeous i would deadass fight 3 mountain lions in a mcdonald's handicap bathroom stall with my hands tied behind my back and my only weapon is a shake weight glued to my forehead just to get a chance to get to know you and take u out tbh

jin: nurse he’s out again

jimin: wrong chat lol

tae: and you wanna put ME in the electric chair

ur all out of ur minds

namjoon: you were gonna send that to someone????

jimin: is it bad?

y/n: so unbelievably bad

jk: blushing

yoongi: wow

tae: yikes

hobi: bts never beating the rizzless allegations

y/n: who were you gonna send that too?

jk: was it me?

yoongi: that was flirting?

jin: probably the notes app

jimin: no one

jin: told you

notes app.

jk: it wasn’t me?

tae: i’ll be nice and give you some better lines jimin dw

jimin: the only lines you have are of coke

tae: nvm fuck you stay bitchless

namjoon: leave jimin alone

jimin: right leave me alone

namjoon: he’ll open up in his own time

jimin: i fucking won’t

you guys deserve to know NOTHING about me

yoongi: okay don’t care kys

jimin: i have a crush

jin: i’m hungry

hobi: is this the same crush you talked about like 4 weeks ago??

jk: on me?

sorry jimin i’m already in love with someone else

yoongi: didn’t ask

jk: i won’t tell you who it is it’s a secret

namjoon: a secret from who??

jk: what does that mean…

namjoon: don’t we all know…

jin: i SAID i’m hungry

jimin: all you do is eat like omg??

get a job or something??????

jin: i have a job

i serve face for a living i would suggest you look into it since you have so much free time to BULLY and HARASS others but with a face like urs idk if you’ll make the cut

y/n: wow

jimin: i’m not reading all that 💀

y/n: never use that emoji again ew

jimin: 💀💀💀💀💀

y/n: this is why whoever ur trying to rizz up probably thinks ur a loser

yoongi: is it taemin again?

tae: ew you run back to taemin every 4 months it’s kinda embarrassing

jimin: taehyung you actually need to shut ur mouth

breathing the same air as you is embarrassing

and at least i have someone to run back to you are actually genuinely bitchless

tae: u are taemin’s bitch

so technically ur as bitchless

yoongi: gay

jk: don’t be a homocrome

namjoon: stop talking

jimin: it’s not even taemin so shut the hell up

i’m not talking about this anymore

moving on

hobi: what is your mbti guys

jk: physical touch

namjoon: that wasn’t the question

y/n: just say ur horny and go omg

jin: don’t

seven was actually enough

i will hear NO more about jungkooks sex life

everything i have learnt has been without my consent

my lawyers will be in touch

jk: my lawyers are ur lawyers

jin: not anymore

jk: omg…

hobi: oh my oh my god

namjoon: jin stop facetiming me i’m not answering

jin: pls joon pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee

namjoon: i’m not sitting there for you to look at urself in the camera for an hour

i have things to do

jimin: that sounds like very jobless behaviour to me tbh

jin: you can’t be ugly and jealous pls pick a struggle

tae: and rizzless

hobi: i know ur not talking…

tae: ????

hobi: tae i need you to do some self reflection

tae: okay?

i’m hot as fuck

cool as fuck

and real as fuck

i feel well reflected ty for suggesting that hoseok

y/n: i told you i’m gonna snap ur neck if you said that again

start running

jin: coming to watch 🥰

[thenarwhalgal]

Watched ride the cyclone for the first time recently. Wanted to touch on something I found interesting— namely! Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg! Resident gifted kid of Uranium!

She’s a difficult character to like, right? With how she treats everybody else around her and especially Constance, it’s really difficult to defend most of her actions throughout the musical. Luckily, that’s not what I’m doing. Instead, I want to give my thoughts on her, which I don’t think is a particularly new perspective but shut up I wanna talk about it okay?

Okay. So… here’s the thing I find really interesting about her. Ocean has no sense of self. Correction, she does have one main thing that she does know about herself, she is ‘the most successful girl in town.’ Where everybody else (besides Jane and we’ll get to how Jane and Ocean mirror each other in a second), gets a marker of how they act, Constance is the nicest, Ricky is the most imaginative, Mischa the angriest, Noel the most romantic. She’s the most successful. It’s not a facet of her personality, it’s a result. It’s an expectation. It’s external. It’s not a part of her it’s how everybody sees her. The very thing everybody else gets to break out of but she’s stuck in because she only has what everybody else sees her as.

She doesn’t have an internal self. Which is why where everybody else (again: except Jane) gets a song exploring their personal feelings, dreams, and realities… Ocean gets a song not about herself, but about her comparison to everybody else. She is the one who wants to win the competition the most, the one who needs to live again, but she can’t explain why because she doesn’t actually know. All she knows is that she’s the most successful. (Side note: The most successful would win the competition so if she loses… well there goes everything she likes about herself. This is why winning it is not just something she wants… it’s something she needs. She again, has nothing else. This will come back later in her parallels with Jane)

It’s common for kids who grew up in abusive households (as we know she did) to not properly develop a sense of self, and often they can look for that internal validation in external expectations or successes. What is Ocean if she isn’t the most successful person in town?

Basically, give her a few more years alive and when she realizes the same thing every traumatized gifted kid eventually realizes— that you will reach a point at which you begin to fail and your need to be perfect will reach a breaking point because nobody can keep up that level of perfection forever— she will inevitably fall apart and experience the worst case of burnout ever in the history of Uranium.

It’s also interesting to see how and why Ocean chooses Jane. She comments at the end that Karnak knew she could never choose herself. I’ve seen a lot of people assume if given the choice at the beginning she would have voted for herself but I don’t buy that. Ocean knows she could never have voted for herself and she says that straight, her original plan was to get Karnak (the almighty being/weird novelty machine) to pick her, then to get everybody else to vote for her. Both of these outcomes leave the choice in everybody else, because if it was her choice she couldn’t have done it. Because again, her own internal self does not exist, it is based on external success. So it only works if everybody else says she’s the best pick. Success and validation do not exist within her. This is why she’s so flabbergasted by how Ricky could concede. She assumes everybody else has nothing else besides winning either. When in fact the whole point of the musical is that they all do have dreams and wants and desires and internal worlds… except her… and Jane.

Jane Doe is… without a better term and also ignoring everything in this musical other than Ocean’s perspective… her worst nightmare. Being forgotten, not amounting to anything. Having neither an internal self or an external effect. If we consider Ocean to be the protagonist of RTC, Jane plays her direct foil. They are both empty inside, Ocean just has the illusion of personhood and ‘success’ to hide that fact behind… a name. It’s actually kind of interesting how throughout the play, Ocean discovers how much her own life she’s missed or disregarded, while Jane is the one to get a name (Savannah with the greenest eyes). One discovering their internal sense of validation with the other getting their external title. Ocean has to choose Jane because Jane shows her that she infact had her own life to be happy with all along, she didn’t need success, she didn’t need the validation of her peers because she had a life all along that she was ignoring. Jane doesn’t. Jane’s her foil because she shows Ocean the part of herself she missed, the thing she has that separates her from Jane Doe. That makes Jane Doe the only real choice to be brought back to life. Having had a life at all.

Anyway! I just think she’s interesting is all.

[olenvasynyt]

I don’t listen to Taylor Swift but here’s my analysis of Guilty As Sin? being Elucien coded

I am not saying SJM posting this song on her story is a sign that Elucien is endgame or that Elain’s book is next, this is just my interpretation of a song and it is not based in fact!  I also don’t know TS lore or her dating history, I only know about the football guy, and Matty Healy because I’m ex-The 1975 fan

Drownin' in the Blue Nile He sent me "Downtown Lights" I hadn't heard it in a while

Downtown Lights by The Blue Nile is one of Matty Healy’s favorite songs and a verse from that song is this:

“Sometimes I walk away When all I really wanna do Is love and hold you right There is just one thing I can say Nobody loves you this way It’s alright”

If I were to relate this to ACOTAR, this is reminiscent of the stairs moment when Lucien is leaving to find Vassa and an army and we can see this longing and affection for Elain but he walks away.  Sometimes I walk away when all I really wanna do it love and hold you right.  I think we are going to see her POV of that moment and I feel like it is going to be very prevalent in Elain’s book because Elain takes a half-step.  What does that half step mean?

My boredom's bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of crackin' locks

This could be about how Elain is being kept in a box in the Night Court, about how she might have been trying to love it before but she wants to get out, it’s not the right place for her.  She does not fit in the Night Court, we see this when she wears black and it sucks the life out of her.

Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions Am I bad or mad or wise?

Elain sees visions.  And people also suspect that she could be seeing visions of Lucien.

What if he's written "Mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind?

Mine is a song by The 1975 and this song is about commitment and questioning what’s right and having this assurance that love is right.

Looking back on 2009 When people said that it was raining all the time I see sunshine 'cause I know that you are mine

“No, we saw rain, you guys weren’t right for each other, but he still sees sunshine, because I know that you are mine.”  This also reminds me of when Lucien says in his head “I am yours and you are mine”. 

I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze Oh, what a way to die

This could be about Elain struggling to navigate her thoughts and the visions she is probably still having but pushing down.  She might be better at controlling them but her control is slipping.

I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trips Without ever touchin' his skin How can I be guilty as sin? I keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault

Again, as I and many people talked about before, Elain could be having feelings of attraction and affection towards Lucien, her mate, but she is shoving it down.  

We've already done it in my head, if it's make-believe Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

People often headcanon that Elain is having sexual feelings and maybe even sexual visions of Lucien.

And the vow is the vow of accepting the mating bond and she feels guilty of that.

My bed sheets are ablaze I've screamed his name Buildin' up like waves crashin' over my grave Without ever touchin' his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

Again, we get this idea that Elain could be having attraction towards Lucien.  And we got fire imagery too!

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously

It’s people saying “you guys are wrong for each other.  You are wrong, you guys don’t fit together”.  We see this with Feyre questioning why her and Lucien are mates, Nesta yelling at Lucien, saying “we’ll decide what she needs”.  A lot of people don’t think Elucien are right for each other but Elain could be thinking “we are right” but she is too influenced by other people’s opinions that she doubts herself.  “But what if she chooses him?  What if she rolls the stone away, officially bringing to life the feelings she could have for Lucien?

They don’t know how you have been haunting me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously

Lucien has been haunting her, and Elain decides to choose him.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I know theres a lot ot talk of Hobie's past and I love the idea of BigFamily!Hobie. But may I PLEASE add to the table:

StreetKid!Hobie -

It's not as happy or wholesome of a backstory as Hobie with a big family, and a big community - but there's still tenderness there I PROMISE.

Like - Maybe Hobie understood what Gwen was going through because he's been through it himself. He knows what it's like.

I like the headcanon that Hobie just...didn't have a family. No tragic backstory or anything. Just the sharp reality that the system lets some kids fall through the cracks.

Because it's a story or reality we hardly ever see, but it's one that exists - being a homeless street kid. We hardly see that story in it's entirety, rather than just the dramatic scenes.

But like STREETKID!HOBIE

He doesn't have anyone to take him to school or buy him uniforms - so he went to the library to teach himself. He doesn't have much money, but the men at the kebab shops know him, the kid that comes in asking for 'anything they've got' , with 2 pounds 50 pence. So they start feeding him, free of charge.

He helps run errands for the old ladies, and they make sure he has clothes for the winter. They'll knit him sweaters and scarves, and give them to him, telling him to run home and get inside, not knowing that might not be an option for him.

But even if they don't know the whole story, the know Hobie the streetkid, who looks tough but has a heart of gold and will help with anything - the kid who'll feed the stray cats before himself.

Most nights, he sleeps at F.E.A.S.T - because we always talk about how great F.E.A.S.T is but never what it's like to actually have to live there as a homeless person for an extended period of time.

The adults know his face, they worry if they don't see him in a bit. They set blankets aside for him, ask him if he's eaten, and for the first time in forever, maybe in his life, he has people who cares - people who want to help.

F.E.A.S.T makes Hobie wanna help people.

And THAT's where he finds his family.

He starts finding other kids too. Older Streetkids start helping him out. They let him squat with them, and show him how to do things like steal electronics, and which shops throw out a bunch of good food at night.

And he starts meeting people, and seeing the teens that'll make him person he is later.

He starts hanging out with them more and more - and they start calling him Hobie.

The take him under their wing. They looked out for him, made sure nobody messed with the youngest of the bunch.

Anywhere they sleep or squat - Hobie does too. And on the nights that it's the worse, that's it too much, or too scary - or the nights where he's just angry at the world,

They're there to remind him there's kindness in the world.

That kindness and joy and having a laugh with the mandem is RADICAL, it's an act of defiance, and a form of power. And that you don't need a big house with the picket fence and 2.5 kids to grow up 'right'.

One of the street kids give him his first patches. They snag him the leather vest he wears today, back when he was tiny and short and he had grow into it.

They taught him everything he knows - from laces code to how to stud a jacket. They start taking him to protests, starts explaining why things are the way they are, how the system is meant to keep people like them down.

They teach him what ACAB means and true anarchy

The first person he ever met wearing blue laces - was a Streetkid. An older kid that Hobie couldn't help but look up to, or even be a little jealous of. A cooler kid with tall leather boots and blue laces.

And when the kid smirked and told him what they meant, Hobie couldn't help but think 'That's SO kickass'.

One night, one of the kids brings a record they stole. They play it on the player - and it's Ramones. Hobie, maybe only 13, hearing rock for the first time.

And he's wide eyed and asking who that is, who's playing the guitar, what's the song name, and the older kids just smirk and chuckle cause they KNOW -

That's when Hobie falls in love with rock.

And Hobie spends his teens with these people, becoming the punk rock anarchist god he is. He learns how to help people like they help him.

Some of those kids are still around, some on their feet now, and some living free, sticking with the life of a Streetkid by choice. Some he sees often - they're the ones he has a laugh with at the pub.

Others, have moved on, or passed away.

And one day Hobie looks around and realizes he's the oldest one now. He looks around and realizes he's the older street kid now. He's the big bro - and he loves it.

Gwen wasn't the only one staying there when she lived with him. She's not the first Society recruit either.

Because of the streetkids that gave him a family, Hobie is who he is - he has a houseboat that always has at least one or two kids staying there, just looking for a place to stay or a meal to eat.

No matter what - Hobie will help.

At to all the StreetKids that came before, Hobie remembers them all - all the help they gave him and all the times they saved him. He hopes that one day, there are people to remember him too, the same way.

Because that's what he wants to be remembered for.

Because he's not a hero - SpiderPunk isn't the hero. Those streetkids were the heroes.

They way they helped him - is the way he helped Gwen.

I need more StreetKid!Hobie SO BAD S OBADDDDLLY

What if Hobie's brown ideology and fashion and beliefs and his love for everyone around him is a reflection of the very teens who raised him and kept him safe and they're the reason why he does any of this to begin with for the streetkids MY GOODDDDDD

HOBIE BROWN - THE PATRON SAINT OF WARWARD TEENS

[deafsignifcantother]

if music be the food of love, chapter 5

♥ here you go lovies, it’s series time | chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter six ♥ summary: a cute comfort fic teehee and featuring their playful bickering ♥ relationships: aroace Alastor x deaf female reader (queerplatonic to romance) ♥ word count: 4.3k ♥ pinterest board ♥ notes: so essentially my concept is that reader isn't a 'sinner' at all and is just a gentle girl who has these abilities just because of a vengence she has + also i hold onto my thoughts that her radio shit is genuinely a curse because of her actions. not really within context of this story but i wanted to add that to emphasize that that is why alastor doesn't know how to talk to her sometimes. ♥ no tag list rn :3

You can't ignore him, especially when he pops into your room. He didn't want to, but with Charlie asking nicely and Vaggie threatening him, he rolled his eyes before giving in. You were the last person he wanted to see, and everyone knew that Charlie asked Husk first.

But nobody wants to get close to you when your songs are so miserable.

Angel walked by your room and burst into tears, as did Charlie when she went to knock on it. Even she couldn't overcome the nightmarish visions you forced into her head.

She gets it now, how terrifying you make people. She understands why you isolated yourself.

Alastor's first thought was to ask you to leave, especially since you brought despair to his employees. But after putting his fingers on his temples, he realized he needed to put his stubbornness aside and be a friend (in actuality, Charlie got mad when he talked about it).

He's never had to comfort you before. His eyes dart around the room, avoiding your saddening form. What does he say? The whole thing was somebody else's idea; he didn't have the time to think about something to say.

What would make you happy?

He sneaks up to you, hiding his static, wanting a second to see how you pose yourself in isolation. The eerie violins show no signs of dissipating; you keep still under your blankets; anyone could have mistaken you for sleeping, but he's watched you long enough to know the difference. Deep down, he is grateful that you won't show him what true terror is the way you do to others; he can't even imagine what his version of torture would be.

Should he say that you can ever push him away? That must be it...it's what you would only dream of him saying.

The first thing he does is have his shadow travel on the wall attached to your bed, where you can make eye contact with it. A bit of static joins your music. It's pretty endearing.

When you reach out to touch it, he's seized by the urge to leave the room and ditch it there to comfort you. Is that all it would take? Judging by your music's influx, he may still sense the harmful waves.

A chill seems to run up your spine, and to your shoulders, and in a slow turn, you look at him. What a sweet girl, he thinks. But then you whip your head back towards the wall. His eyebrow twitches.

Alright. Playtime.

He emerges from his shadow in the blank of an eye and lays on the bed next to you, on his side, propping himself up by the elbow. Your eyelids flicker at the sight of him.

Your hand noses between your bodies, and in a careful push, you shove his face away from you. He stares at the wall. When his eyes meet yours, there's a warning, and you pull away.

You strain and turn around, but his hand yanks you back to face him.

"Stop trying," you sign.

'You've changed so much,' he said yesterday, facial expression portraying nothing but disgust. And with his prideful smile, 'Overlords rise and fall, and I remain through it all.'

With your signs, he stays still, brain racing. "I'm not trying anything."

"I know you don't care, who asked you to be here?"

He almost responds with an answer. He lifts his hands to his shoulders, the ghost of 'princess' on his hands, before he transitions it to, "We all care about you, my dear."

He struggles. "I care for you."

"You're lying."

When you turn away, he lets you. But that doesn't mean he doesn't grab your waist and pull you against him, making room for him to transport right in front of your face again.

"Why don't you stop trying to drive me away? It's not going to work. I'm not going anywhere. I never have."

Except for the years he left you alone, you retort only with your expression. You both skip over that conversation.

"You always came back." You sign.

Alastor is winning you over. He knew that would work. Even your music has started to lighten up, though the minor key is still prominently lingering.

"Of course I do, darling."

For a simple test, you lean your head forward, and with an instinct he regretted, he presses his forehead against yours. But it's not enough to calm you down. He notices the lack of motion in the room, how still your hips are, and how small your breathing is. Your neck, as gorgeous as it is, is bent at an uncomfortable angle to match him. He knows it hurts you, so like the gentleman he is, his big hands cup your neck and cheek, letting you rest against him.

There you go; your music calms completely. Was it that easy for you to forgive him? You must genuinely relish him. You couldn't process the next several seconds. His forehead pulls away from yours, and your eyes widen when he moves closer and presses his lips against your forehead. They don't perk like a kiss but rather brush against you.

And then he disappears, his task considered done, and he leaves you flustered (on purpose). That asshole. Lukewarm air passes over your shoulders. Hell's days are always warm, but you find yourself shivering uncontrollably. He's only held you like that once before, the last visit before he left for what felt like an eternity. His lips felt like Heaven then, just as they do now.

After a few minutes of lying in your bed, exasperated at his fleeing, especially after holding you in your bed like that, you try to grasp how much he probably disliked doing that (unbeknownst to you, false, it was just the uneasiness if you were going to do something).

Flickering lights grab your attention, and you turn around to see Charlie flicking your light switch, already half inside the room. With an awkward wave, she invites herself in, fiddling with her hands. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Your eyes widen. You're in trouble, aren't you? Will they kick you out? Is this the end of everything? "I'm sorry for all that," you try to act casual, "Sometimes it happens."

Which is the most dismissive way to describe it.

Charlie just smiled softly, shaking her head. She keeps walking into the room, perhaps because of the urgency, which explains her bad manners.

"No, no, you don't have to worry about that—this isn't about you," she reassured you, resting a hand on your shoulder. "I need to ask you something."

Even more ominous.

"What possibly?" You sit up in bed properly, letting your legs dangle from the side. "Am I supposed to be keeping a secret? Is it about Alastor?" The words slip. Those sentences together are the worst combination.

"It's... Partially about him, yes." She responds, letting out a breath she didn't realize she was even holding. How is she going to explain this? You look her up and down, taking in every bit of her body language.

"Partially?"

She nods, beginning to fumble her hands together as she tries to form words. You stay patient, letting her figure it out for herself while at the same time screaming inside. Even your music starts to change.

She forces out whatever she can muster. "How long have you known him?"

"Since the moment he entered Hell we've known each other. Now tell me why you ask?"

Charlie begins to fidget as soon as you confirm, almost like she doesn't want to continue that conversation. She took another deep breath before responding. "Has he always acted like this? Did something change him?"

"Goodness gracious, will there be an overall point to this? He maintains his ideals, yes." You put a hand on your forehead to calm yourself down.

"That wasn't what I asked you."

Your eyes pierce hers, the look in your eyes reminding her that you were an Overlord, while the stare she has reminds you that she could kill you in an instant. Charlie Morningstar is glaring at you.

"He hasn't changed." You start off slowly, making sure she can understand. "You can trust me on that. There isn't any drastic events in his time in Hell and he will never change."

You say the lie as if it's second nature. From the time you left, something could have happened to him. With the differences in his composure, having less goofiness than you once remembered, you know it must have been something.

"That's exactly what I'm concerned about."

"Oh, he's not going to hurt anyone here." Your laugh doesn't comfort her. "If he wanted to, he would have already."

She has always assumed that, but hearing it from one of his closest friends makes her feel better.

She needed to come to you to confirm her beliefs. She trusts Alastor, but only to some extent. His motives are questionable. However, if you trust him, then why shouldn't she?

"Do you really think so?

"I know so. Don't you go worrying about it, princess."

She takes a deep breath, her smile returning. "Thank you. And-And thank you for being here! I gotta tell Vaggie."

The interaction ends with her grabbing your hands, nodding, blushing, and turning away with excitement in her steps. So delighted to keep her lover happy.

You look around your room, searching for any clue of Alastor's shadow. You wouldn't want him to know you were just talking about him. With no sign of him, the privacy offered calms your nerves.

You strip off the nightgown, definitely shooing away any of his shadows that could have been around. Brush your hair and tie lace layers to your waist before putting on the final layers of your dress. You look just as you did those bizarre years ago. A smile reaches your face, one that only you have witnessed.

.

"You keeping yourself busy?" You sign, sitting down at the bar. The slight ting of melancholia in your music makes Husk's eyes water, but he swallows the lump in his throat so as not to make you feel guilty.

"You could say that."

There's a childish kick of your legs. "Did you know I was coming?"

"Of course I did. We can hear you from a mile away."

"Not like that, Husk," you laugh and wave at him. "I meant when Alastor left."

But the conversation is closed before it can even start.

"Ah, finally, you've joined us!" Alastor's shadow dances across the walls before Alastor sits next to you.

"Yeah, I had to eventually." You give him the most comforting smile.

"What have you been doing since this morning?"

You give a joyous smirk, sarcasm evident. "I can ask you the same thing."

"Oh, you know," he plays along, "the usual. Nothing. Nothing here satisfies my interest."

“Interests like cannibalism? Gruesome murder? Your boredom must be unbearable! Were you waiting for me to join you?”

“Oh my, how sadistic of you. Are you a glutton of violence and murder, my dear?”

"Maybe I am, everybody loves letting off a little steam."

He laughed softly and stood beside you after you sat at the bar. His smile never left his face, even as he gave you a look that screamed oh, bullshit. You still have those tendencies?

“Oh yes, of course. A very common thing, letting off steam. So tell me, my dear,” he leans forward against the bar, "How do you like to let off steam then?”

You avoid his question for a few seconds as you point to a bottle on the shelf, Husk throwing a thumbs up before treating you. You lick your lips. "Going around luring people in, I suppose. Showing people their true weaknesses. The same old, same old, ah, do you remember?"

His smile widens, and his movements grow almost excited and cheerful. “Ah yes, what a pleasing reminder. I vividly remember you tearing hearts out of people,” he says with a soft chuckle. His eyes look you over once more before signing speaks again. “Though, I also recall how you hated getting bloody."

You laugh. "Ah yes, it was the stickiness. I used to ask you to poof it off for me." You wave a hand dismissively, a small smile growing. Husk stares at you two and the joyous banter between friends and he gets a sick feeling in his gut. Two dangerous and terrorizing overlords laugh as if they're humans again. There's no worse thing in Hell.

He chuckles once more and gives a small roll of his eyes before leaning forward and putting an arm around your shoulders. He pulled you closer gently, making sure you didn't topple over.

“Oh, and how you'd hate touching me whenever you saw me after a meal. You wouldn't even shake my hand!” He continues as he moves his hand and fiddles with a strand of your hair. “Though, I suppose it’s quite ironic.”

"Ironic?"

His smile turns into a smirk, his hand still gently playing with a strand of your hair as he signs sarcastically.

“Oh my dear, you really are quite simple sometimes, aren’t you? You can incapacitate anybody to the point of unrecognition right in front of me, yet you never seem to enjoy seeing me when I do. Quite ironic, don’t you think?”

"You're a tad bit scary, and I wouldn't consider myself as scary as you. You looked frightening, and I'm afraid I looked beautiful." A small laugh leaves your lips. Your thoughts flicker through all the moments you've seen him covered head to toe in blood, the moments where he'd just smile and address you like nothing was wrong.

He continues to smile without faltering, his head tilting, and he sits so close to you that Angel starts paying attention with wide eyes.

“And too beautiful, I’d say. Your victims just fall into your lap, imagine a world where mine would! But of course, I find myself enjoying the chase."

Great, Husk thinks, now they're bantering like serial killers.

"Alastor, all of Hell would be extinct if people just fell into your lap."

His eyes were locked on yours, a soft and almost mocking expression on his face. “Let’s be honest, darling. I doubt all of Hell would be gone.”

"You'd save Rosie," you list off people. "Mimzy, of course, if you're considerate enough. Hmm, who else? Nifty, what a charming woman."

He gave a soft roll of his eyes and decided to list more names.

“Ah yes, you can’t forget old Husker at the bar can you! After all, he does keep me entertained with all his sarcasm and wit." His eyes slide over to the cat in question, who avoids his gaze to pretend he's having a deep conversation with Angel.

"That's all I can think of!" You smile to yourself, both of you playing around with the apparent other option. "But I doubt you'd enjoy life without victims. That's your forte down here. Or... most certainly ever."

All he offers is a slight nod in agreement. “That’s absolutely correct, darling. I would probably be dreadfully bored without all those wonderful victims to have my fun with, and my dear, you'd never become one of them. I'd keep you here.”

"What if you get too bored and decide to kill me off?" Your smile becomes lopsided when you try not to laugh. The drink before you finally gets touched as you bring it to your lips, continuing to sign with the other hand. "I'd leave your little party."

“Oh, please. As if I would ever kill you. After all, you keep me entertained when you're near.” He says, eyes gleaming in amusement as his eyes lock onto yours, his smile growing wider as he rests an elbow on the table, his entire body facing you.

"What a compliment," You put the drink down a little too hard. "You know how to make a lady blush."

The same smile stays on his face, not faltering as he lets out a soft, almost ridiculous chuckle, knowing you can't hear it. He replies as if you weren't being sarcastic.

“Oh, I always knew how to properly flatter people!" He pauses for a moment, grabs your drink, and cheers to you. “Though I do believe I like it when you blush more.”

He downs it as if it's nobody's business.

"I can tell," and that's the only response you give to that. "Has Charlie given you any demands today?" You quickly change the topic, trying to keep the casualness from becoming something more.

He leans back from the bar, shaking his head. "Oh, I wish she gave me something fun to do. Something to keep me preoccupied, but I was once again given nothing.”

"Do you have any plans, then? Something to help your forever boredom?"

He pauses, simply sitting in place with a smaller smile as he seems to think for a moment. “Hmm, not a single thing, I suppose. My only plan for the evening was to see you again! That lovely music of yours tells me that you feel much better.”

"Always better when I see you," you try to say but end up rolling your eyes sarcastically, turning away. "Thank you for that. I know I scared the others."

“Oh, please. You scaring the others is quite the common occurrence at this point. I doubt it surprises anyone anymore.” The loud laugh you give him helps him continue, “And of course! No need to thank me, I'll always be here now.”

"Very funny, what a comedian you are." The looming sensitivity of the topic doesn't fail to make me feel a twinge of guilt. It's embarrassing how much you depend on him, though he must enjoy it greatly with how much he edges it on.

“Oh my, my dear, always getting sarcastic with me, I do wonder why.”

"Do you like?"

“Until the day we die."

"How sweet!" It's your turn to cheer to him. "If we died together, I'd be such a winner. Or would you?"

Angel puts a hand between you two and signs the few sentences he knows. "Get a room."

Alastor barks out a laugh while you just smile.

"This is a room! How witty you are, Angel Dust."

He turns to you for approval, and his smirk grows wider when he sees your smile and the hint of genuineness in your eyes; his lids fall down almost teasingly. You focus on Angel's glance at you, where you just give the smallest shrug at him. Alastor continues the chatter and pretends Angel isn't even there. Husker tries to wave Angel away with a warning. If you're going to piss off anybody, don't let it be those two.

“Oh, I always win, darling. You really should know that by now.”

His signing is filled with gliding in a way that only an old-fashioned man can manage.

"You won me over." A blatant confession, but you pretend all it is is a friendly remark. "And you won the trust of the princess of Hell! I guess that's just the charisma you're known for. I always knew you would accomplish something great. When you first arrived, I remember how you started your reputation by picking off overlords like they were flies. You should have heard the gossip Zestial started!" And the most impactful change of tone, "Can I ask a question?"

His smile grows almost wider at your acknowledgments. Good to know he left an excellent first impression. His response lands in his brain, but he considers communicating it, a hint of amusement lingering in his eyes as he slowly nods once, signaling for you to go on.

“Of course you can ask a question, dear.”

"Why didn't you kill me?" Your smile seems to grow. A few days ago, if you were to ask, you would be frowning and nervously looking away. But the rather blunt words he forced you to comprehend last night cause you to realize just how much you've lost the attitude you were known for. When did emotions get ahold of you?

“Now, now, dear, you didn’t seriously think I’d kill you, did you? You should know that the day we met, you have captivated me. I wouldn’t simply kill you after being so captivated by you. Now, why didn't you try and kill me?”

His question has never crossed your mind. Your eyes widen a bit. Alastor relishes in catching you off guard.

"For the same reason, of course. There's nothing better than someone bewitching." You place a hand on your cheek.

"Well, I’d consider it fair, seeing how you haven’t tried to kill me.”

The huff Husk gives doesn't go unnoticed by either of you. You turn to him, a silent notion that he's been counted, and gesture back up to the drink he poured for you again. This time, he makes another one for Alastor. "Oh please," Alastor pushes the second drink towards you. "It was absolutely disgusting."

You roll your eyes, taking a painfully loud sip from the glass and letting out an 'ah' when finished. But then your eyebrows furrow, processing the sentence he had previously said.

"Haven't? Don't you mean hadn't? I wouldn't even think about killing you now." Once again, you shrug, but lighter this time. "Young man, you know that you'd win."

"Well, I'm certainly glad you've realized that your taste in drinks is absolutely dreadful.” His ears flatten on his head. "Did you seriously just call me a ‘young man’? Really, darling?”

"I'm older," you remind, playfully shaking your shoulders, tilting your head back and forth as you do so. "You're a young man to me, never forget. I could just almost pinch your cheeks."

“Oh, well, excuse me, grandma.” He says, mocking your gesture. “Never say young man ever again. Or that you can ‘pinch my cheeks.’”

"So defensive." The drink once again finds its way to your lips. "Next time I hold your face, I'm going to pinch your cheeks. I got to catch you by surprise."

"You'll never be able to touch me again."

"You wouldn't be able to live without it. Don't pretend not." You swivel the stool, ensuring one of your shoulders blocks Husk's sight. "I know your secrets."

“What can I say, darling?" Both of his hands go up as he shrugs. "You're getting rather confident, aren't you?"

Is that a threat? You lean back, eyebrows furrowing. "Aren't you the confident one here?"

His fingers gently grab your chin and pull your face closer to his, his eyes studying you closely. “My, what a cute question, darling."

You two should definitely get a room.

"Maybe not confident," you tease, "Perhaps passionate? I would never want to be in the way of your passions. What would I do if you went all big scary monster on me?"

What a curious way to phrase it. Do you consider it a 'big scary monster' when his limbs contort and his bones crack? That's the charisma he's always loved.

"Do I not scare you, my love?”

The question surprises you a bit; the tone of it unmatches the previous tension. "No, of course not."

His once-consistent smile grows enough to crinkle the corners of his eyes. He shakes his head slightly in a soft yet sarcastic manner.

“No, of course you’re not afraid of me, darling. You’re never afraid of me. Always so fearless when you’re around me, isn’t that right?”

His cracked, sour casualness gives a dynamic much love when side by side with your relaxed attitude. You smirk and shake your head. "I'm as brave as a lion."

"Of course you are."

"Then it's settled, I should have no reason to be scared of you. Case closed." You stand, extending your hand to shake his. "To mutual respect." He stares at it, wondering if he can trick you into a deal at this very minute. He glances up at you, eyeing you closely as he slowly and gently takes your hand.

“Ah, yes. To mutual respect." He shakes your hand firmly and politely. Another day.

"Perfect." You pull away, looking around the room at where to go next. Sit on the couch? How boring. You can slide down the stairs railings; that would be more exhilarating. "You said you wanted to see me this evening? Is there really anything to do around here? Do you just sit and dissociate all day?"

He sighed when you pull your hand away from his. His eyes still follow you closely. His smirk dropped slightly, misperceiving your words.

“My, how cruel. You really think all I do is sit and dissociate all day?”

"It's what you do instead of sleeping. Quite unsettling, Alastor."

"Always awake, my love. Always awake."

"Definitely. Yeah, my mistake."

Your smile reminds him of the decades you've spent together just having a long conversation. It's the type of conversation two married people would have when they get ready for work in the morning.

Sitting on the couch ended up being a good idea. You miss making him laugh. Alastor always looks at you as if he wants your blessing, his eyes remaining on you, watching your every expression and reaction to his words.

It's a unique type of interaction with The Radio Demon, but not a bad one. There's nothing that makes you feel more special than the way he looks at you.

Stop doing that. You plea in your head, and you drive me insane. How else am I supposed to feel?

He crosses his feet when he hears the jazz finding its way into your music. He leans into the couch, smile growing, not letting you know why he's smiling.

[locustonlioden-blog]

Hazbin Hotel Episode Rewrites

Episode 1 (will be doing all of them)

Take out the “precious daughter” line. This makes no sense seeing how Lilith ditched the family and Lucifer is supposed to be super distant. We get 0 evidence these were involved, doting parents that put a bunch of effort into raising Charlie. Perhaps change it to “And now, its up to their precious daughter” meaning Charlie has taken it upon herself to mend things, instead of making it sound like she’s been coached all along for her role.

Adam and Lute are put off to find out its Charlie meeting with them, not Lucifer as usual. The meeting was arranged because of the very important matter of an exterminator angel being killed for the first time ever, and an important discussion was needed. Adam is much less a 1 dimensional comic relief dude bro.

“So, are you taking over extermination arrangements for now on?”

“Uh, no...actually, it was just kind of out of the blue that he told me about the meeting and asked me to come-”

(seriously, Lucifer supposedly didn’t know about the hotel, or at least he pretended not to, lets just assume he does but didn’t let on to Charlie that he’s watching her)

“Did he tell you why?”

“Ah, no-but, it was really convenient because you see, I have an idea that would actually END the need for exterminations-”

At this point Adam is seriously put off. They just found out demons can kill angels-this has to be a distressing revelation. Now of all times, the guy they have a serious deal with chooses to send someone who wants to talk about ENDING the exterminations? This would almost feel like a threat. So now they want out of the deal? No way! He would feel a need to reassert dominance and get things back under control. Who do these demons think they are? Cue their aggressive mocking and song, followed by throwing Charlie out as they do in the actual episode. He doesn’t even bother to explain why they are moving the extermination up. He’s not going to talk to Charlie. She has not established any sort of repertoire with him that makes him feel as though she is worth having an actual discussion with about a serious matter.

Commercial subplot: Alastor offers a deal to Vaggie in order to help make a successful commercial for Charlie.

“You’re insane, I’d never make any sort of deal with some shitlord

“Hm, such a pity, Charlie will be so let down to see how you fail to manage her project even a day without her. She has to do everything. Why are you even around? Do you really think the princess of hell needs physical protection from a sinner with a spear?”

*sighs* “You making the video for me isnt going to help that.”

“My dear, it wasnt raw power that bent all of Hells sinners to my will. You seem to know me quite well...(this is where we can reintroduce the Alastor lore Vaggie game to Angel Dust in the pilot, instead of waiting until the Mimzy episode to give anything) ...so you see, I have no problems getting things done, and I would be willing to teach you. Imagine what Charlie could achieve, and how much quicker, if she had a competent partner at her side…”

“I’m not making a deal! And you can have fun entertaining yourself with an empty hotel. Nobodys going to want to come to a place a powerful overlord like you so obviously takes as a joke”

“Well, I WILL make a worthy advertizement for the hotel, but I’m going to do it the RIGHT way, and do it for radio!”

She doesn’t make a deal here, but the seeds have now been sown. Her insecurity and feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness are gnawing. She has little feelings of self worth-would it be so bad to sacrifice herself in a deal with Alastor if it meant assuring Charlie achieves her dream? She is tempted.

Vaggie uses a little cunning here. While Alastor manipulates the inhabitants of the hotel to give fantastic line deliveries using a variety of amusing tactics, Vaggie secretly records with the video camera. At the end of the day, Alastor smugly announces that he has the radio ad all ready. When Charlie returns, Vaggie cuts in and says radio AND television ad! The ad then starts to play and is cut off by the news like in the actual episode. Alastor was initially amused she tried to make a tv ad anyway, but he sees enough to tell that she recorded him making the radio ad. His smile tightens, eyes narrow, and he fades off.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for calling my mom by her old name because she can't respect the fact that I also changed mine?

To preface, I have never liked the name I was born with. It is, to be quite frank, a pretty shit name that always got me bullied growing up and nobody could ever spell right. Growing up I've always tried to get people to call me a shorthand version of my name, or even as a little kid I went by Matilda (from the movie) instead of my actual name.

My mom never put much stock in me actually ever changing my name. In her mind, she named me, and that's final. That's my name, regardless of what I want or what any legal paperwork says.

Thing is, she also hated her name growing up. She always went by a shorter, somewhat alternate version of it, and recently she even changed her last name so she's no longer 'connected' to her family name. So now she has a completely different name, first and last, to what she was born with, and there was never any 'consultation' on it with the rest of us like she demanded of me.

I started going by a completely different name roughly six years ago. I got into college and it was just a completely different world. If I said I wanted someone to call me by X name, they did it immediately and without so much as blinking. Everyone accepted that the name on my legal paperwork wasn't my name, and that was that.

Except for my mom, who told me I was being ridiculous and essentially took every chance she could to mock me or tell me I wasn't 'actually' changing my name. She also steadfast refused and still refuses to use the name, and when she does its always with snide emphasis, like its such a hardship for her.

Well. I submitted the deed poll a few months ago, and now, legally, after using the name for six whole years, I am that person. She absolutely blew up at me over it, and ever since its been the same song and dance where she'll refuse to use my new name, claim its just oh-so-hard to remember to use it, and deliberately mispronounces my middle name despite being repeatedly told how to say it.

Its not even a hard middle name to pronounce. But for an example of how she mispronounces it, think of the word 'bastion.' She will resolutely and deliberately say 'batoon' instead. That's how she treats my middle name.

She'll spend a whole conversation mis-naming me, then when she sees me staring at her will snidely go 'oh, sorry, X' with a roll of her eyes and a huff. Any time I verbally correct her on my name she takes it as an attack.

But she's also always going on and on and on about respect and how she deserves respect for everything she does, and the words its basic respect are practically tattooed on my eardrums from her various explosions.

My point of view is its incredibly disrespectful to not even try making the effort of calling someone by their new name, especially when its not even a name that's hard to pronounce or anything. I chose a pretty standard name.

So if she repeatedly insists on disrespecting me that way, why should I respect her choice to change her name and be called something different? Why should I show her the respect she has literally never shown me?

I don't really have to use her actual name all that often, but I'm considering that when I do, I should make a point of using her old name instead. Exactly the way she does for me. And if she tries to call me out or correct me, I'm going to give her the exact same attitude she gives me, because actually talking to her about this goes nowhere. She just starts ranting about how hard it is for her to remember I haven't gone by my old name for six fucking years.

WIBTA for that? It'll probably just cause more problems than it fixes, but honestly, idc at this point. She can get what she gives, and that's what she's giving.

What are these acronyms?

[catastrophicdisasters]

alright i need to ramble abt TUA s4 somewhere that isn't at someone who doesn't care lmao

putting it under a see more bc a lot of it is based on stuff that's been said in the recent cast interviews and could definitely be considered spoilers

tl;dr: a theory post about who, if anyone, i think is going to die this season (and why, ranked by how narratively coherent i think their death would be, and how it would - or wouldn't - round off their character arc)

emphasis on the "i think", as obviously this is my opinion on what i think would make a satisfying narrative

so, in one of the interviews from today, Robert is asked how he feels about the "kind of sacrifice" at the end of the story, and his response is "yeah there's a kind of death that happens" and to then wax philosophical about physical death vs the kind of death that happens when the memory or the person is gone, and how there's a "kind of passing that happens"

and like, most people are convinced that someone's going to die by the end of the season, myself included, but i've just had another idea Robert really talked AROUND the word death, saying "a kind of death" and "a passing", and with him talking about that 'do you die when you physically die or when nobody alive can remember you' style thing, I'm thinking that maybe someone gets themselves erased from the timelines

so they still EXIST, as theyre not physically dead, but because nobody can remember them, it's still a kind of death (exactly like Robert said)

whether or not that person retains their memories is kind of irrelevant, though them keeping them does make for a more tragically satisfying arc - they gave up their existence to keep their family safe/save the world, and yet none of them will ever look at them with recognition or love again, and will never truly know just what they did for them. i think that could be done really well, as there's a special kind of beauty in a character who is happy to accept their own end in order to protect those they love (also, if i wanted to get super analytical of that, i could draw parallels between that idea and the trailer's choice of song - The End; the opening song of The Black Parade album, the funeral song that kicks off the narrative album with themes such as the life that comes after death-)

~

now, with that said, i want to go off about who my top choices for death/erasure actually are:

well, first i want to say who i don't think it's going to be, and that's Diego and Lila. and that is because they've set up this little family arc for them via Lila's pregnancy, and right from ep1 it was established that Diego was the most attached to Grace - his mother figure - highlighting the importance of the parental figure in his life. both of them have a strong sense of detachment and independence / not needing anyone else, while actually longing to be part of something, to have a family unit. so with the two of them now being married and having a child together, especially given what Ritu said in an article - that "they are not really communicating and are snapping at each other" - it sets up the perfect arc for them to find their place, together, and forging the family dynamic they both so clearly want.

I could talk more about them (i.e, Diego having multiple instances that make reference to his desire to prove himself to his father, vs Lila collapsing post s2 because she just wanted to know if The Handler - if her mother - ever really loved her), but that's not the point of this post

so working backwards from who i think is least likely (and why, obviously):

Viktor:

- originally i had a big question mark over Viktor, bc ive always kind of struggled to pick up the threads of his arc, but even then i still don't think that death/sacrifice would be narratively satisfying for him? is it possible that he sacrifices himself to save his family? i mean… i guess? he's always been more passive and less confrontational than the others, so even if the opportunity presented itself i feel like someone else would probably beat him to the punch

- BUT, that's still not actually the reason i think it won't be him - it's because i think a more satisfying ending for him would be for him to have everything he was denied in childhood. with him coming out, they've set themselves up really nicely to push an ending for Viktor that has him finding himself, understanding himself, and finally being happy with himself. whether he ends up keeping and accepting his powers or not makes no odds as long as HE makes that choice for himself! let him be surrounded by family/people who love him for who he is, let him choose to live for himself and be happy!

Allison:

- i have a similar problem with Allison that i have with Viktor, in that i don't really know where her arc is going, at least as far as the Hargreeves are concerned. Allison's been pretty clear that her priority is her daughter, getting back to her daughter, protecting her daughter. and now she has her back. and she even has Ray back!

- i've never reeeeally been a fan of redemption through death (though there are exceptions), so the thought of her being the one to die/sacrifice herself to save the rest of the Hargreeves just… doesn't sit right with me. particularly because i'm also fairly sure i read somewhere that Emmy said that Allison is kind of "done" with the Umbrella Academy family stuff, and that she's all about being a mother again, which brings me to my next point;

- Allison dying would actually have more of an emotional impact on Claire and Ray than it would to any of the Umbrellas. and, as nice as Ray is and I'm sure Claire will be, they are not the major characters in this show. they are not the ones we have spent three seasons connecting and sympathizing with. would her death still have impact? of course! but i think that there's too much to resolve (such as the events of s3, the fact that she already feels done with them all) to make her death be tragic and satisfying, and to still wrap up everyone else's arcs and the story as a whole

- her finding a way to accept and love her Umbrella family instead of constantly trying to distance herself from them, and learning to balance the family of herself, Ray, and Claire, with her family within the Umbrellas feels like it would be more satisfying for her than sacrificing herself to save the Umbrellas / the world

- could she still end up sacrificing herself to save Ray/Claire, and that in turn leads to someone else dying? yes, absolutely! or something happens to Claire and she no longers cares about living because she can't lose her daughter again? also yes, but that feels a bit... too dark, even for tua

Klaus:

- i feel a little controversial, putting him so far down the list (he's still placed fourth out of eight, though), but the thing is - with his powers back, he is functionally immortal. at that point, the only way he's dying is if he chooses to die. which could still lead to a satisfying end!! the boy who was scared of the ghosts he saw, who became scared of dying, becoming the man who chooses to die? very tasty potential, there. contrasts very nicely with the fact that he kept bringing himself back to life without even realising

- buuuut, that would conflict with what we've heard so far about Klaus's storyline this season; Klaus becoming a scared-of-everything germaphobe, having to learn "how not to be scared of life", falling back into addiction, and learning new aspects of his powers. i don't really see how all of that would lean into a storyline of him accepting death, ya know? it's a lot to do, with not a lot of time to do it well

- i will say, though, that i do love the idea of him somehow finding Dave in the afterlife, and that being part of helping him to accept death - that he can be reunited with the love of his life (this falls apart, however, when you realise that Dave's actor isn't currently credited for any episodes on imdb. still doesn't mean that he won't be, but... makes it less likely)

Luther:

- i genuinely debated with myself about who gets third slot between Luther and Five, but ultimately decided on Luther (which i'll further explain during Five's section)

- Luther literally has no purpose outside of the Umbrella Academy. in s1, he was defined by his being the only 'true' remaining member of the Academy, and having been sent to the moon for a seemingly pointless mission (and even though we now know that he was sent there to protect Abigail - she's alive now, so that doesn't really need revisting). s2 also had him at a loose end - he was fighting simply because that's all he thought he was good at, he tried to give his relationship with Allison another go once he realised she was alive, only for it to turn out that she's married, and then he was a (frankly, terrible) spotter for Five during the paradox psychosis fiasco. s3 literally had him get kidnapped by the Sparrows without anyone really noticing, and although he did eventual fall in love and gett married to Sloane, she vanished with the resetting of the universe. Sloane, incidentally, also doesn't have her actor listed on imdb as returning for s4

- he doesn't really have a multi-season arc to finish off; in fact, the only consistent facet of his personality is his desire to protect his family and 'do the right thing', whatever that might be

- i feel like for him, a good arc to send him on would be him becoming comfortable in his gorilla-body and maturing into the confident leader that would be expected of a "Number One". but, given the way his character has evolved (or devolved) through the series so far, i don't really see them doing that

- in fact, i think it's much more likely that they kill him simply because they don't know what else to do with him. which, ya know, kind of sucks

- HOWEVER, i do think there is good potential in having the first major leader-like decision that Luther makes - free from the influence of others - being to sacrifice himself to save his family. the one time he stands up and says "no, i've made my decision, and it's time for you all to respect that" while also tying it back to his overwhelming desire to love and protect his family? oh yeah, that'd be some good shit right there

Five:

- my god please just let the old man rest

- so, i think Five is less likely to flat out die than Luther is, but i do think some kind of timeline fuckery is much more likely where Five is concerned

- considering what Adian has already said about Five's arc this season

- "He doesn’t know what his place is in the universe. When he goes on this emotional arc with Lila, for the first time, he feels there is a reason for living." - i honestly think killing him would be an incredibly shitty thing to do. having him finally, finally, find his place in the universe, after getting stuck in the apocalypse at THIRTEEN, where he finds his entire family dead, proceeds to then spend 40 years alone, trying to get back to his family, before being picked up by the Temps, turned into a killer, finally getting back to his family, only to end up stuck back in his teenage body AND having to deal with three weeks of constant apocalypses, to then kill him???? jesus christ that would SUCK. like, i'm aware i have bias because Five is one of my favourites and i think his arc has some insane narrative potential, but i cannot be the only one thinking that if they kill him after all of that it's just going to leave a bitter taste?

- THAT SAID!! that said, i do think that it's likely that he would be the one that ends up getting erased from various timelines in order to save his family

- his whole thing has been about getting back to his family to save them from the apocalypse - to have him find his ultimate purpose being to do exactly that? it makes sense!

- in erasing himself from this timeline in order to save it, his purpose also then becomes founding the Temps Commission, with the intention of preserving the new main timeline that he literally 'died' to create and protect (and considering that they technically exist outside of the timeline, who is to say this isn't all part of Commission Founder Five's master plan anyway? hell, given that the Commission resides in the year 1955, he can go play guitar with Marty McFly and bitch about the perils of time travel while he's there)

- it would also solve the awkward elephant in the room; the fact that as of s4 he looks 18 but is actually in his 60s. he can erase himself from the main timeline, putting himself back into his old man body, and retire in peace knowing he's successfully saved his family and given them a future by also saving the world

- it's so deliciously tragic

Ben:

- oh god okay here we go

- i adore Ben and don't really want him to die, but i'd be lying if i said that his death wouldn't be incredibly satisfying, in the way only a true tragedy can be

- we all know this season is going to be focused on him and how he is going to be the one to cause the apocalypse this time, so it ending with him would make sense

- Blackman (the showrunner) has also said that he "wanted to come full circle with the family relationship". what is the FIRST thing we know about Ben? he's dead

- for the first two seasons, he haunts the narrative in a literal sense by being a ghost that only Klaus can see and so still sort of interacting with things, but considering we don't yet know what the Jennifer Incident is and how it actually affected the Umbrellas moving forwards, it could turn out that he has also been actually haunting the narrative - he's dead but so much has been driven by the nature of his death

- i also just really love the idea that the first thing we learn about Ben is that he's dead, and that also ends up being the last thing we learn about him

- taking it a step further, given that the Ben in the recap was definitely Sparrow Ben, it would be disgustingly, delightfully tragic for the final fate of Sparrow Ben to be the same as that of Umbrella Ben - that nothing any of them did actually mattered, because in the end, Ben was always going to die (can you tell i like a good tragedy)

- also, going far too deep into it (to the point that this isn't so much evidence that Ben is the most likely to die, but just a nice little tie in), parts of Ben's arc very much tie into the narrative of The Black Parade. you know, the MCR album that the song they used in the official trailer came from. The Black Parade, as an album, opens with a funeral song (just like the show opened with a funeral) and then continues to go over The Patient's life after death, the experiences from the afterlife, and even reflecting back on his life. quite fitting for Ben, in a way

- ANYWAY! Sparrow Ben also spent a good chunk of his time in s3 desperately wanting to be part of the Umbrellas, but having no idea how to go about it. the thought of him sharing the fate of Umbrella Ben and therefore becoming just like him, becoming Umbrella Ben? poetic

- there is also my sort-of half-theory, that the reason Ben is being overloaded with the Marigold is that he's actually somehow channeling both versions of Ben, so has twice the amount he should have, thereby destabilising him in some way, and one of the Bens needs to die. but, that doesn't really tie into Jennifer in any way, because that wouldn't have happened in the original/main timeline

- Ben is also the only character to have actually existed as multiple versions of himself in the two timelines - again, it is a perfect tragedy for him to die in both of them. maybe this time they save him from the Jennifer Incident, only for him to choose to sacrifice himself to save them all. ergo, it didn't matter, it didn't matter, he was always going to die

- i really like a well executed tragedy, okay? i also feel like it's one of the few satisfying ways to successfully kill off a character. still hurts like a bitch, but at least it was worth something

~

okay well, this got sufficiently away from me! kudos to you if you read the whole way through, and i do not blame you in the slightest if you skipped through lmao i also probably missed a few things, and maybe got a few things wrong so uh, whoops on that

tl;dr: probably won't die: Diego, Lila unlikely to die, but possible: Allison, Viktor wouldn't surprise me if they died: Klaus, Luther probably won't die, but might end up erased from the main timeline: Five most likely to die (and would be beautifully tragic): Ben

again again - purely my opinion!! and also what i'd like to see, based on what i personally feel can make a good narrative!

good luck for the 8th brellies <3