#why do i think i deserve that?
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is it time to start treating adhd like the neurodevelopmental disorder it is instead of a collection of nasty habits and quirky personality traits or do we just wanna stay here for another 10 years
#the amount of bilittlement i get from nt’s and from adhders with mild adhd is#ive hit my limit boys#finally realizing that no i dont deserve to be treated like shit for not being on par with my peers#i dont deserve to get half assed care from every medical professional ever because its just trouble focusing#i literally have a disorder why was i taught that i should ignore that and that all my shortcomings were because of my defective personalit#i learned to stop asking for help early on bc i couldnt understand what was wrong#and when i tried to ask for help i was demonized for wanting to cheat#saying it wouldnt be fair to my nt peers#why do i think i deserve that?
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I think that I've only drawn Ford like. 3 times in my entire life. so here's some Fordsy (and some Fiddsy. and a Bill I guess)
[image description: a page of drawings of ford, mcgucket, and bill cipher from gravity falls. near the top are two portraits of ford, one in the gravity falls style and the other in a more realistic style. next to that is a simple doodle of ford and mcgucket smiling and embracing with the caption "old man yaoi!" beneath them. in the bottom left is a simple drawing of a younger ford, and next to that is a drawing of bill with a speech bubble saying "i'm here too! also i'm hatless for spacing reasons". next to that is bill's hat, as well as mcgucket in an orange and brown 70s-style outfit and a braided beard, and he is sitting on the ground, lost in thought. end id]
#i like when people draw recovering fiddlefords. he deserves the world#i think im gettin the hang of fords face#the stans have a very strange head shape to adapt into how i draw but i think i did it well enough#bill is only here bc i couldnt think of anything else to put there and im very tired#doc is tired after finishing a drawing. in other news grass is green#doc talks#my art#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#fordford#why do these two have like 5 dif ship names.#fiddauthor is the best one imo but fordford is pretty funny#ford squared is also one i think. pretty incredible stuff#bill cipher
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there's a stranger who sleeps at the foot of your bed
#rotating the first few nights that loop is in the party in my head. argued into sharing a room because its a downpour outside.#only accepts a bedroll. not a bed. (because they don't deserve a bed) because stars don't really need to sleep! it would be silly!#who is this person. who are they to your partner. why do they look at you like that. at him like that. you can't tell what theyre thinking#isat fanart#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isiloop#sloopis#lucabyteart#sifloop#isafrin#isaloop#(help me god thats so many ship tags. have fun interpreting this post your chosen way guys.)#but yeah. had to torment that man again sorry isabeau its just the way it goes. i need to unsettle you as hard as possible thanks#>be me >be 2 months into my relationship at best >still havent kissed the guy >the fucking babadook shows up >tfw
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Vanessa TOTALLY got those Tapes for the FNAF lore..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanessa#tape girl#glitchtrap#fnaf help wanted#fnaf fanart#TAPE GIRL MENTIONED 🔥🔥#THIS IS AN UNSERIOUS COMIC BTW..#just a lil gaff a goof even#people always ask why Vanessa kept playing the vr game and putting the tapes together#easy answer… she just liked tape girls voice#checkmate theorists/j#NAH fr I actually like that Vanessa’s curiosity truly outweighed fear of any kind#makes sense being a beta tester she of course want to investigate#this comic was kinda an excuse to draw tape girl out#I haven’t seen a ton of fanart of her like ever#so think the girl deserves some love 🩵#she’s similar to phone guy/dude so she deserves more hype me thinks#the fact there’s no can’t of her with a tape recorder as her heard is criminal#she deserved it maybe I’ll do it myself as a bit we’ll see#I love Vanessa being a failgirl 🧡🤍🩷
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Feuċ, súile Dé go fuireaċ air
#bloodborne#father gascoigne#* taps sign * FATHER. remember that guys.#decadentart#caption is from notmal McLeod’s translation of psalms#specifically this is a part of psalms 33 18#interprt my message . muahahahhahahs#I think his relationship with his faith is .. complicated#in my headcanon hes actually really gentle. he is a priest after all. not reallt a violent man#but to kill beasts is sacred and holy. but its still killing#i think to an extent he can realize hes changing . mentally And physically. but he cant stop now#siiighhhh. they made a priest kill people and now he has to justify it to himself#and also he has to contend witb turning into what he can only consider a demon#do you think he wonders why hes being ‘punished’? what he did wrong in the eyes of God to deserve this?#fears for how much hes changed..?#Idk im insane and very hungry. i have like an entire essays worth of thinfs to say abt him. and i made it all up#i am very hungry rn. ggrueuaggghhhhhhhh#i could put my ramblings into a lot more sense like. not in tumblr tags#trust me. truusstt mmeee#also i know the cross isnt really used in bloodborne#however#shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up#hes not from yharnam and im not going over the slug jesus injoke rn. Okay#Also shorthand so YOU understand what this is abt :) yay
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It's interesting (if often frustrating) to see the renewed Orc Discourse after the last few episodes of ROP. I've seen arguments that orcs have to be personifications of evil rather than people as such or else the ethics of our heroes' approach to them becomes much more fraught. Tolkien's work, as written, seems an odd choice to me for not wrangling with difficult questions, and of course, more diehard fans are going to immediately bring up Shagrat and Gorbag.
If you haven't read LOTR recently, Shagrat and Gorbag are two orcs who briefly have a conversation about how they're being screwed over by Sauron but have no other real options, about their opinions of mistakes that have been made, that they think Sauron himself has made one, but it's not safe to discuss because Sauron has spies in their own ranks. They reminisce about better times when they had more freedom and fantasize about a future when they can go elsewhere and set up a small-scale banditry operation rather than being involved in this huge-scale war. Eventually, however, they end up turning on each other.
Basically any time that someone brings up the "humanity" of this conversation, someone else will point out that they're still bad people. They're not at all guilty about what they're part of. They just resent the dangers to themselves, the pressure from above, failures of competence, the surveillance they're under, and their lack of realistic alternative options. The dream of another life mentioned in the conversation is still one of preying on innocent people, just on a much smaller and more immediate scale, etc.
I think this misses the reason it keeps getting brought up, though. The point is not that Shagrat and Gorbag are good people. The point is that they are people.
There's something very normal and recognizable about their resentment of their superiors, their fears of reprisal and betrayal that ultimately are realized, their dislike of this kind of industrial war machine that erases their individual work and contributions, the tinge of wistfulness in their hope of escape into a different kind of life. Their dialect is deliberately "common"—and there's a lot more to say about that and the fact that it's another commoner, Sam, who outwits them—but one of the main effects is to make them sound familiar and ordinary. And it's interesting that one of the points they specifically raise is that they're not going to get better treatment from "the good guys" so they can't defect, either.
This is self-interested, yes, but it's not the self-interest of some mystical being or spirit or whatnot, but of people.
Tolkien's later remarks tend to back this up. He said that female orcs do exist, but are rarely seen in the story because the characters only interact with the all-male warrior class of orcs. Whatever female orcs "do," it isn't going to war. Maybe they do a lot of the agricultural work that is apparently happening in distant parts of Mordor, maybe they are chiefly responsible for young orcs, maybe both and/or something else, we don't know. But we know they're out there and we know that they reproduce sexually and we know that they're not part of the orcish warrior class.
Regardless of all the problems with this, the idea that orcs have a gender-restricted warrior class at all and we're just not seeing any of their other classes because of where the story is set doesn't sound like automatons of evil. It sounds like an actual culture of people that we only see along the fringes.
And this whole matter of "but if they're people, we have to think about ethics, so they can't be people" is a weird circular argument that cannot account for what's in LOTR or for much of what Tolkien said afterwards. Yes, he struggled with The Problem of Orcs and how to reconcile it with his world building and his ethical system, but "maybe they're not people" is ultimately not a workable solution as far as LOTR goes and can't even account for much of the later evolution of his ideas, including explicit statements in his letters.
And in the end, the real response that comes to mind to that circular argument is "maybe you should think about ethics more."
#i had a whole 'nother tangent that i split off into a separate draft#but i've been thinking about why the 'but shagrat and gorbag are still BAD people' thing seems so inane and missing the point#but yeah. i feel like people desperately want to find some justification in tolkien (and elsewhere) for the idea#that doing something wrong to a person will become doing something right if you can find someone who 'deserves it'#and that literally anything can be justified if someone has been defined as a valid target (i.e. less than a person)#(you see this a lot in the whole twitter main character of the day thing - the idea that the problem is directing the firehose#against the wrong person by mistake rather than the firehose itself)#but it's super weird for a novel built on a metaphor about how using the tools of evil for a good end or against existential enemies#is fundamentally corrupting and only further props up what it's meant to oppose#and i mean... the character most like tolkien literally says he could not morally justify lying to an orc and rejects the ring#it's not exactly a deeply buried theme of the book#anghraine babbles#long post#anghraine rants#legendarium fanwank#legendarium blogging#shagrat#gorbag#tv: lotr#jrr tolkien
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My Adventures with Superboy
#PLEASE i need him in season 3#my adventures with superman#maws#kon el#conner kent#superboy#superman#i hope he does show up at some point in the show. he deserves to have an appearance#plus i think they could do it in an interesting way#in my head he's standing across from the clone tubes#that's why the lighting is green. he's in the depths of cadmus#but yeah. i love him :)#it was kinda weird to draw him bc this is very much not my usual kon design#but i wanted to make it look legit(ish) so i had to keep it similar to clark#i assumed they'd go w the lex luthor origin for him so i tried to add a couple slight lex features#like the slightly narrower eyes and sharper face#so. yeah!#art#my art#weaverofink
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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I find the fact that the confrontation at the end of UTRH is often summarized as Jason asking Bruce to kill the Joker for him fascinating.
Because that's not what happened.
Jason holds a gun up to Joker's head, gives Bruce another, and tells him that if Bruce doesn't do something (shoot Jason), he will kill Joker.
Jason doesn't give the gun to Bruce so that he would shoot Joker. He isn't expecting Bruce to pull the trigger on the clown. He's asking Bruce to do nothing. To be inactive. Because that will still be a choice, and despite having done nothing, everybody clearly agrees that Bruce would still, at least in part, be responsible for Joker's death.
...And to me, this moment is a kind of- microcosm, of the rest of Jason's point. Because after being captured and carted off to Arkham, the villain will escape again, and will kill more people. The only way to truly prevent that from happening would be to kill them; Bruce refuses to do so, and I respect his right to choose such a thing for himself, but it is still a choice, and if we agree that Bruce's inaction during the confrontation would leave him at least partly responsible for the Joker's death, then we must also agree that his inaction in permanently preventing the Rogues from killing more people means he is also, partly, responsible for all of those deaths.
#my dc posting#batman#dc#bruce wayne#jason todd#joker#uhh is this like analysis or meta#anyway. to me this is the message that scene sends#if we say bruce doing nothing would mean he assisted in the murder of joker then bruce doing nothing about the villains means he is also#responsible for those deaths#ANYWAY yes b4 you come at me;;#bruce's belief in rehabilitation and that everyone can get better is central to his character#and i love it and no i dont actually think he should kill the rogues or whatever#but the question there is. Are you fine with the future victims your decisions will cause?#Are their lives worth the slim chance any of these people will get better?#batman says yes theyre worth it. red hood says no theyre not.#thats the fundamental moral difference there#its why jason challenges the batman status quo#which is why he cant be harnessed well after his initial return bc comics can never truly escape that status quo#anyway i sure am having some thoughts for someone not that smart so if you disagree please tell me!!! just be civil or ill just block you <#...anyway this is another thing BTAS succeeds in bc i always feel like yes these villains do deserve yet another chance#despite what theyve done. bruce's belief in them doesnt feel stupid and naive#its abt what you yourself can live with. bruce can live w the deaths of the ppl the criminals he doesnt get rid of kill#and jason can live with killing those criminals and preventing further victims
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“I swear we’ll be alright, Red.”
It’s done!! Kinda scrapped the idea with the boxes because the vibes ended up being different but I do wanna do something else with them soon!
Poolverine have single handedly gotten me drawing regularly again o_o
(Art without the text below the cut because I’m indecisive)
#really don’t like Vanessa’s whole ‘do something that matters’ thing in the poolverine movie#Wade deserves better#Logan would never do that#another reason why they’re made for each other#also kept listening to ‘how to save a life’ by the fray while drawing this which makes it a little darker D:#think I messed up the colours of the bounce light bc I just had to do it before the actual lighting :p#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#wade wilson#marvel#wolverine#digital art#marvel fanart#logan howlett#treasurers art
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« dick is a playboy » no he is not if you want one you have bruce right here
REAL! he says so many times that he's not a fan of hookup culture and that he's a very monogamous person. they think because he's pretty and other people have an attraction to him, that it makes him a player?? and don't even get me started on how the fandom treats him a lot of the time. in that one art i made a few months ago, that was directly referencing this very thing about his character, someone complained that i needed to take the bandages off his chest. like guess what babe you missed the entire point
#poor dickie#like yeah he is pretty and he has a cute butt#i drew him in a nightwing outfit the other day that was like “pretty boy!!” but it's not like i do THAT to him#that's why i've avoided nightwing butt jokes in LoF#like even when i almost made one i was like “someone is gonna take this the wrong way"#and by the wrong way i mean think i'm open to more butt jokes#like you get ONE#per month#no per TWO months#im taking away your nightwing privileges if you don't respect this part of his character#because if he was a woman and got this same treatment??????#worlds would burn#and he deserves my world burning attitude for him#nightwing#dick grayson
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
#writeblr#i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again#other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding#and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger#godhelpme.#i was always kind of taken aback#because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace#and it was kind of their workplace#too. besides#i love swearing#and since i couldn't swear#neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent#they needed to choose a really specific time#because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened.#i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them#that censorship is stupid#but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together#also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry#the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy#would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER
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Yue Qingyuan and Tianlang Jun having tea together ☕
[Commission for @absolmon!]
#poorly drawn svsss#svsss#better drawn mdzs#yue qingyuan#tianlang jun#Do not hold the teapot like TLJ is holding it. He is actively burning his hand and *also* putting the teapot at risk.#He is (at least) using the right type of teapot (lighter coloured) to have a lighter tea.#The world of tea is extremely deep and I will probably do a comic about how to pick the right teapot / how to do a simple ceremony#You do *not* know tea until you have someone who knows tea make a cup for you.#Even if it is just a 'frathouse style' tea ceremony with random utensils to get the job done - it is so tasty.#Anyways; I think these two deserve to have a nice tea break. I like to think they are having jasmine tea.#TLJ is very much based off of my Luo Binghe design so if you wonder why he is so soft looking - that's why!#Thanks again to Absolmon for the commission! I really did love working on this B*)#EDIT: Thank you to Livingmeatloaf for helping out with the alt text! I added a few notes but it was really helpful to have a base!
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There are always 2 sides.
The discourse around Louis and Lestat being a victim and abuser and nothing more drives me insane.
Something i don't think enough people remember is that the very same reason the fight began in 1×05 (lestat grabbing claudia by the throat when she tries to "take louis away") we see Louis himself do to her in 1×07 when she tries to get Louis to burn Lestat.
They BOTH would harm her rather than live in a world without the other. They are both guilty of abusing her and each other.
There is an implication that a good deal of time passed between Louis and Lestat meeting and the church. Louis expresses that he shares himself with Lestat in a way he only had with Paul. I would assume that goes both ways, to a degree. We know Louis knows at least enough about Nicki to discourage Claudia poking that wound. He also clearly knows that the threat of leaving is his most powerful weapon against Lestat.
Mental abuse is abuse. And Louis abused Lestat mentally for years. Shaming him, ridiculing him, shutting him out, manipulating him into making Claudia (a traumatic moment for him, whether Louis understands the depths of it or not) by promising to give him what he's being denying him, promising to never put him through what he fears the most.
Louis admits to purposely making Lestat suffer. He admits he was warned that Claudia would suffer and he wanted her anyway because he needed to feel redeemed. He is not innocent. He is not a trapped, weak victim. He made choices to hurt both Lestat and Claudia time and time again.
Does this justify Lestat's actions in 1×05? Obviously not. But we now know Louis was not willing to stop the fight. He taunted Lestat the same way he taunted the Alderman. He was unleashing years of frustrations just as Lestat was. His priority was not to protect Claudia, it was to hurt Lestat, consequences be damned.
I hate the drop scene as much as the next person and Lestat has admitted he will never earn forgiveness for what he did. But if you view Louis as some squeaky clean victim who was manipulated, trapped, and abused by Lestat you are missing so much of what this show is conveying.
We will always tend to paint ourselves as the hero of our own story. It is hard to accept your faults or that you hurt people you love. It is much easier to shift that blame on to someone else, to frame them as the villian. But life is not usually that black and white. Claudia had harsh words for them both in her diary, even before they got to Europe, for a reason. They both made hurtful mistakes with her, both treated her like a pawn in their relationship instead of a person, both harmed her, took away her choice, never prioritized her.
That is the great tragedy. That she never had a choice and was not allowed to be her own person. And in the end, they both are responsible for her misery and her death. That's what makes the reunion scene so important. They have been grieving her and carrying that guilt alone, all the while longing for the comfort of the other for 70+ years. Louis has found clarity in his memories, he has accepted his role in their suffering, he has seen Lestat's perspective more fully. Lestat is broken, totally consumed with that guilt and grief. Both know that although they cannot change what they've done, they can forgive the other, even if they can't forgive themselves. They can love each other despite everything they've done to one another because they cannot stop loving each other. But now they can try to rebuild that love from the rubble.
#If you don't think that lestat would have killed anyone who grabbed Claudia the way Louis did (other than louis) you don't know lestat#tw abuse#iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#claudia iwtv#iwtv text post#iwtv thoughts#I'm sorry idc if people have problems with this take I have problems with MISSING THE POINT#If they wanted you to view Lestat as an irredeemable monster the show would suck#Yes I think 1×05 was a mistake and I get why people struggle with it but we have learned a lot since#We know Louis is an unreliable narrator and we have only seen the real lestat in 1 scene#We have never truly heard his side of any of this ffs#If Louis loves him I can love him ok?#They are messy but they like that!!! Look at how they fell in love!!#Mess all around#Don't even get me started on viewing Armand as The Villian#claudia deserved better#They all do tbh#Rant over sorry#interview with the vampire#i could talk about this forever#Maybe season 3 will finally have some healthy relationship but probably not lol
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Everyone in the tags calling Style swagless and rizzless, but can I just raise the counterpoint that the second he actually tried to be seductive, Fadel folded like the wet tissue paper he had to use to clean himself up afterwards.
#listen episode 1 tells us that style Fucks and does it often; i believe he pulls so he knows how to do it if he really wants to#he's bold enough to try things that are wild and hot enough for them to work#its just that half of him wanted to annoy/get back at fadel more than he wanted to fuck him#did fadel cave because he was desperate and repressed or because style actually is skilled at this -- i think its a bit of both#but to completely ignore the strategy in how style approaches fadel from the gym onwards is missing the bigger picture#and discredits the frankly stellar offence style mounts on fadel's impassive facade#idk why i'm so passionate about this but! Justice for Style!! 💪#Style IS sexy and he deserves to be acknowledged as such!!#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#style sattawat#fadel#fadelstyle#thk shitposts#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl
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people not in the mcyt fandom cheering for mcyt to win the most annoying fandoms poll: a drm fan said something offensive on twitter so i hate all mcyt fans :(
mcyt fans cheering for mcyt to win the most annoying fandoms poll: we are approximately 300+ communities all forcibly shoved into one category. half of us hate each other and there is a rampant superiority issue between communities despite them all Literally just being people roleplaying in minecraft. not only are we split between creators, but different social media communities hate each other as well. a twitter mcyt fan and a tumblr mcyt fan are wildly different things and are at constant war with each other.
#icarus speaks#discourse#?#just in case#i think the difference is silly#y’all do Not understand why we deserve this winx
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