#why do i have this level of feelings about my own character
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My perspective on Curly as a victim of abuse
Tw for abuse (physical and sexual)
Hey mouthwashing fandom, so this is kind of a hard topic for me to tackle, but recently with seeing people’s opinions in the fandom on Curly as a character, I want to put in my own two cents as a victim of abuse.
I want to clarify before I start that I am not a victim of sexual abuse specifically. The abuse I faced was physical that bordered on sexual, but I was never sexually assaulted. That’s why this analysis isn’t about the sexual assault aspects of Anya’s abuse, like her relationship with Jimmy, but rather on the aftermath of the abuse on how the people she trusted (specifically Curly) interact with Jimmy after they know.
For context so people can understand my situation: I was in a very physically abusive friendship that bordered on sexual abuse in my freshman year of high school. Now, through my sophomore to senior year, I was forced to be in the same school as this person. In the same classes, in the same clubs, in the same events, and the same friend group as my abuser.
This is why I relate to Anya so heavily. I understand being forced to stay in situations with the person who abused you and being around people who either don’t know or do know and haven’t done anything/hold them accountable.
Now onto the main topic of my rant: Curly. So far from what I’ve seen, Curly is a hot topic for debate on the morality of his character. Anya confided to Curly about the abuse, and Curly, as far as we can see, didn’t do much. This makes it really easy for people to point fingers at Curly and call him an awful person and say that he is just as bad as Jimmy.
This is where I disagree. I don’t think Curly is a bad person.
Again, I understand the pain of having people do nothing. I have watched people I confided in about the abuse I face completely ignore what I have said and continue to be friends with them. I have had people say that I was lying. I have had people defend them right to my face because “They look like they’re getting better” or “But they seem like such a good partner to their (current) girlfriend!”
I get how frustrating that is. I understand the level of hurt that brings and how unsafe that can make someone feel. But once again, this is something the fandom immediately jumps on Curly for without really looking any further into it.
The thing is, these are people I know at school. These are people who can actively control their situations. These people can stop talking to them, stop giving them rides, etc. to stop interacting with them.
This is not the case for Curly and Jimmy. The most obvious thing being: they’re literally on a ship in space. They are all in a confined space and forced to be together for months on end. On top of that, Jimmy is a very unstable person, and Curly probably knows that. A lot of people like to characterize Curly as the “Oh, but he’s my friend, he wouldn’t do that” guy, but that’s not what happened. He listened to Anya, and while he definitely been more empathetic and done a bit more, he still didn’t deny it.
I personally feel like Curly specifically not denying it means he knows that Jimmy did it, and that he knows Jimmy is a bad person.
All of these are faults of Curly’s. He let someone he knew onto was dangerous onto the ship, and when he did something bad, he didn’t do enough to help despite being the captain.
But one thing we do know is that Jimmy is a manipulator. He will manipulate or threaten anyone to get what he wants. First off, we don’t know if Jimmy manipulated Curly to give him the job in the first place, which could have very much happened. Second, he was seen manipulating Curly AGAIN in the psych evaluation scene, the birthday party scene, and near the end of the game when Curly confronts him after talking with Anya.
Every single thing Curly falls short on is a direct effect of Jimmy’s manipulation in the first place. Yes, he absolutely could have done more in both situations, but Jimmy manipulated into him into letting him off easy.
On top of being manipulated by Jimmy, there wasn’t much Curly could do. He can’t just throw Jimmy out into space and he couldn’t let Anya have the gun because he can’t have his crew killing each other obviously (even if Jimmy is a threat).
The only critique I have of Curly at this point is doing more to protect Anya. He could have made a better effort to keep Anya safe from Jimmy and really put his foot down when confronting him.
Although again with all of this, it just boils down to Jimmy. If manipulation doesn’t work with Jimmy, then he uses threats or brute force. Curly probably knows that Jimmy is unstable, and probably didn’t know what he would do if he had been firm with him or done literally anything that could be seen as against him, evidence being the birthday scene. Everything that happened and everything Curly fell flat on was becuase of Jimmy’s manipulation and unpredictability tendencies, so really, it’s not 100% his fault.
Tldr; While Curly could have done a little more and should be critiqued, all of the stuff he falls flat on is because of Jimmy just like everything else in the story, so people should stop treating him like he’s a bad person or could keep Jimmy in control because he was a victim too.
#sharkboyrambles#mouthwashing#wrong organ#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#character analysis#media analysis#tw abuse
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𝓱𝓸𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼
ʚɞ pairing : wooyoung x reader ʚɞ au : idol! | 9th member ʚɞ word count: 3.280 words ʚɞ summary : yn and wooyoung do an interview on The Hot Ones! ʚɞ what if! wooyoung and yn dated
" Hey what's going everybody, for first we feast i'm Sean Evans and you're watching hot ones," Sean said, as the camera pans to show yn and Wooyoung seat next to each other.
" it's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings. Today we are joined by yn ln and Jung Wooyoung. They're apart of the sensational group called ATEEZ." Sean announced with enthusiasm, as the camera zoomed in on Yn and Wooyoung, who both waved with bright smiles.
Wooyoung chuckled, shooting a confident grin at the camera. “I’ve been preparing for this my whole life,” he joked, earning a laugh from Yn and Sean.
Sean continued, “Yn, Wooyoung, welcome to Hot Ones. You’re both known for tackling some intense stages and delivering jaw-dropping performances. But today, the real test is whether you can handle these hot wings and even hotter questions.”
Yn glanced at the lineup of sauces nervously, then turned to Wooyoung with a playful smirk. “Think we can handle it?”
Wooyoung leaned back with a smirk. “Oh, I can handle it. But Yn… let’s see if you’re ready to keep up.”
Sean laughed, leaning forward as he lifted the first wing. “Alright, let’s see if the heat lives up to ATEEZ standards. First wing up!”
scoville level 1,700: first question - how did you guys come up with your aniteez characters?
Yn took a bite of the first wing, savoring the mild heat as she thought about the question. She smiled, looking at Wooyoung before turning to Sean.
Wooyoung rolled his eyes, trying to hold back a laugh. "I swear, I’m not a cat. I just happen to have… cat-like tendencies, okay?” He looked at the camera, raising his eyebrows. “You can thank Yn for that rumor!”
Yn grinned and shrugged. “Hey, I’m just saying, our fans notice these things. Plus, if anyone were going to have an alter ego as a cat-like character, it’d be you!”
Sean leaned in, clearly entertained by their dynamic. “So, Wooyoung, does this mean your A-NITEEZ character embodies all those cat-like traits?”
Wooyoung smirked, leaning back confidently. “Oh, absolutely. My character’s got this mysterious, sleek vibe—totally cool, just like a cat. But I also added a little bit of mischief in there because, you know, why not?”
Yn laughed, nodding. “See? I rest my case.”
Sean shook his head, laughing along. “Alright, so we’ve confirmed that Wooyoung is practically the group’s resident cat in A-NITEEZ and maybe in real life. Let’s see if we can uncover any more secrets as the wings get hotter!”
scoville level 6,200: second question - favorite song on golden hour pt.1?
Yn took a deep breath before biting into the second wing, her eyes widening a bit at the subtle increase in heat. “Ooh, okay, definitely feeling it now,” she laughed, reaching for her water.
After a moment, she looked at Sean. “My favorite song on Golden Hour Pt. 1 has to be 'Empty Box.’ It just has this… deep, atmospheric vibe that hits differently. Plus, it was so fun to record; we really experimented with vocal layers and harmonies.”
Wooyoung nodded, his own mouth slightly burning but still grinning through it. “For me, it’s gotta be ‘ Bind ’ I love how upbeat it is—it’s like this perfect mix of hype."
Sean raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed with their choices. "Great picks. 'Empty Box' has that haunting, layered feeling to it, and 'Bind'—I can see why Wooyoung would pick that one. It's got so much energy. Now, as the heat starts to kick in, let’s see if you two are still as cool as ever!"
Yn gave a playful smile, trying to keep her composure as the spice started to settle in. "Definitely feelin’ the heat," she admitted, wiping her brow.
Wooyoung, still grinning despite the rising heat, leaned in. "Honestly, though, 'Bind' is one of those songs that makes you wanna just lose yourself in it, you know? Like you’re in a different world. It's an easy song to get lost in."
Sean laughed, glancing at the wings. "I think this next one might test your limits even more. Ready for the next round?"
Yn and Wooyoung exchanged looks before nodding in determination, both of them bracing themselves for what was next.
scoville level 18,00: third question - what has been your favorite place to travel?
Yn took a cautious bite of the third wing, her eyes widening as the heat immediately kicked up. “Whoa, okay, this is the real deal now,” she said, laughing through the heat. “But... favorite place to travel?”
Yn took another sip of water, trying to cool off, but the heat was definitely taking its toll. "I’d have to say Mexico," she continued, her voice slightly strained from the spice. "The culture, the food, the beaches... it’s all so vibrant. I loved getting to experience everything from the food markets to the ancient ruins. And the people—everyone was so welcoming."
Wooyoung nodded vigorously, still feeling the burn but pushing through it. "I can definitely get behind that. Mexico is beautiful. For me, though, it’s gotta be Italy. The history, the art, the food—everything about it felt like I was walking through a dream. I’ll never forget the first time I saw the Colosseum. It was unreal."
Sean smiled, wiping his hands on his napkin. "Great picks, both of you. The heat’s clearly not slowing you down! So, what’s next?"
Yn wiped her forehead, a little sweat beginning to form as she looked at Wooyoung. "I think we’re just getting started, right?" she said, giving him a determined look.
Wooyoung grinned, but his eyes were watering a little from the spice. "Yeah, no turning back now!"
scoville level 33,00: fourth question - favorite mv filming location?
Yn’s eyes widened as she took a bite of the fourth wing, immediately feeling the intense heat. She paused for a moment, trying to keep her composure, before letting out a small gasp. “Okay, this one’s definitely hitting harder,” she said, trying to keep a grin on her face despite the spice. “Favorite MV filming location, though?”
She glanced over at Wooyoung, who was also struggling to keep it together. “For me, it’s gotta be the desert for Treasure and Pirate King. That was such a unique experience. The atmosphere was just incredible—this vast, open space that made everything feel so dramatic and cinematic. Plus, it was pretty hot, so I was already mentally prepared for this moment,” she joked, fanning her face.
Wooyoung chuckled, rubbing his mouth with a napkin. “I totally agree with you on the desert. But for me, I think my favorite has to be the beach from ‘Wave.’ It felt like we were filming in a fairy tale. The natural setting, the misty trees—it was just such a vibe. I really felt like I could lose myself in that world.”
Sean was laughing, clearly enjoying their reactions. "Those are some epic locations! The desert’s got that raw, expansive feel, and the forest is all mystical. Alright, we’re cranking up the heat, but you’re doing great. Ready to tackle the next one?"
Yn and Wooyoung exchanged a quick glance before nodding. “Let’s do it,” Yn said through a strained smile, still trying to power through the burn.
scoville level 54,00: fifth question - what is your favorite song to perfom / would like perform?
Yn and Wooyoung both hesitated for a moment, staring at the fifth wing in front of them. The heat from the previous wing was still lingering, and the next one looked like it would be a whole new level.
Yn bravely took a bite, trying to hold it together, but her eyes widened as soon as the heat hit. "Okay, this one is definitely no joke," she laughed, wiping her brow with a napkin.
After a moment, she looked at Sean, trying to focus through the heat. “Favorite song to perform… I think I’d say ‘Hala Hala.’ It’s just so intense and has so much energy. When the crowd gets into it, it’s like a wave of adrenaline that you can’t beat. The whole performance is so wild, and it really pulls everything out of you.”
Wooyoung, also struggling to keep his cool, took a bite of his wing. His face immediately flushed as the heat made its presence known, but he grinned through the pain. "For me, it’s gotta be ‘Answer.’ That song has such an emotional weight to it, especially when you’re performing it live. The connection with the fans is unreal, and it just feels so powerful. It’s the type of performance where you really pour everything into it."
Sean smiled, clearly impressed with their answers despite the heat. “Both songs are legendary for different reasons—Hala Hala is all about the hype and the energy, and Answer really pulls at the heartstrings. You guys are holding up like pros!”
Yn laughed weakly, her eyes watering. “We might be almost professionals now…”
Wooyoung wiped his forehead with a napkin, giving her a thumbs up. “Yeah, we’re definitely pros now. Just keep moving forward!”
scoville level 71,00: sixth question - how did you two become the closest ?
Yn and Wooyoung both took hesitant bites of the sixth wing, and immediately, their faces contorted with the intense heat. Yn let out a breath, fanning her face while trying to hold her composure. “Okay, this... this is a whole new level,” she said through gritted teeth, wiping her eyes.
Wooyoung, clearly struggling too, took a moment before he spoke. “We’ve officially reached the point where everything burns," he chuckled, rubbing his mouth.
Once they both took a few deep breaths, Yn answered, "How we became the closest? Well, Wooyoung and I have always had this... weird connection, I think. We clicked pretty early on. He’s the type of person who doesn’t let anyone get too far away, and I’m... well, I'm the type who’ll keep everyone together. We just naturally gravitated toward each other, supporting each other through everything.”
Wooyoung nodded, still fighting the heat but grinning. “Yeah, it was kind of like that. It was the little things—like making sure Yn wasn’t overworking herself or giving each other space when we needed it. But then, when it came down to the tough moments, we always had each other's backs, no matter what.”
Yn smiled, turning to Wooyoung. “And it wasn’t just the big things, right? It was also laughing at the smallest jokes, or sharing those quiet moments when no one else was around. We just knew how to support each other.”
Sean grinned, clearly impressed with how they were handling the heat. “It’s awesome to see that kind of bond between you two. It’s like that perfect balance of support and fun."
scoville level 126,00: seventh question - favorite movie / books
Yn and Wooyoung both took a deep breath before biting into the seventh wing, knowing this would be the final stretch. As soon as they tasted the sauce, their faces immediately reflected the shock of heat. Yn reached for her water, trying not to cough as the burn surged.
“Okay, this is the moment we’ve been waiting for…” she said, her voice a little hoarse from the spice. She wiped her forehead, trying to keep a smile on her face. "Favorite movie or book?" she repeated, clearly feeling the heat.
She thought for a moment, then said, “ i love the hunger games series, including the books. It's all i would read during our free time in our trainee days."
Wooyoung, still battling the heat, nodded in agreement with Yn’s choice. “I remember that. We’d all gather around during free time, and Yn would be deep into The Hunger Games—I swear, she knew every detail of that series by heart.” He chuckled through the pain, his face flushed.
Wooyoung chugged his water, let out a sigh of relief before he spoke. " i love the harry potter movies, definietly something yn would join me watching them."
scoville level 135,600: eighth question - any solo projects coming soon?
Yn and Wooyoung both braced themselves as they eyed the eighth wing, knowing this would be the hottest challenge yet. Wooyoung, despite the obvious struggle, took a deep breath and bit into the wing. Immediately, his eyes watered, and he reached for his water, trying not to cough.
"Okay... this one might actually be the end of me," he said, his voice slightly hoarse from the burn.
Yn, equally affected, quickly followed suit, biting into her wing. The heat hit her immediately, and she winced. "Oh my god, it’s like my mouth is on fire,” she said, fanning her face and trying to smile through it.
After a few moments of both of them trying to recover, Sean smirked, knowing he had stumped them with this one. "Any solo projects coming soon?"
Yn wiped her brow, gathering her thoughts. "Well, we’ve been working really hard on group projects right now, but… I do have some solo things I’ve been thinking about. I’ve been experimenting with some personal music and concepts that are a bit different from what we’ve done as a group, so we’ll see what happens with that."
Wooyoung, still rubbing his eyes from the heat, nodded slowly, clearly fighting through the pain. "For me, I’ve been focusing a lot on improving my skills, you know? Some personal projects are in the works—maybe more music and some other fun things to share with our fans in the future."
Yn managed a laugh, wiping her forehead. “The heat’s definitely making this harder to answer, but we’ll have some surprises coming your way for sure.”
Sean gave them both a supportive nod. “Love it! You’re keeping things under wraps, huh? Well, with the heat getting to you guys, I’ll say this—if the solo projects are anything like the effort you put into handling these wings, they’re going to be fire."
Wooyoung chuckled weakly, raising his water bottle. "You could say we’re burning with ideas."
scoville level 700,000: ninth question - any games you guys are playing at the moment?
Yn and Wooyoung both eyed the ninth wing with a mix of dread and determination. After a few moments of hesitation, they each took a bite, and the intense heat hit them like a freight train. Their faces immediately flushed, and both of them struggled to keep their composure, reaching for their water bottles.
"Okay, this is way too hot," Yn managed to laugh, wiping her forehead. "But games…"
She paused, trying to breathe through the heat. " valorant. I think yunho and i play rank a lot. I think last i played was diamond ?"
Yn nodded, her eyes watering slightly from the heat but managing to push through. "Yeah, Valorant has definitely been a go-to. Yunho and I have been playing ranked a lot together. I think the last time I played, I was in Diamond? It’s definitely a grind, but we always have a blast, even when things get intense."
Wooyoung, still recovering from the heat, laughed weakly. "Yeah, Yunho’s pretty serious about his rank, but he’s also a great teammate. You two definitely make a solid duo."
Yn chuckled, though it was clear the burn was still lingering. " wooyoung and i play as well! We play league of legends, although im not the best at it"
Wooyoung, still wiping his face from the heat, grinned and nodded. "Oh, League of Legends, yes! We play that together too, but trust me, Yn’s being humble. She’s actually way better than she lets on. I, on the other hand... I’m just trying not to feed the enemy team," he laughed, clearly still feeling the spice but in good spirits.
Yn laughed weakly, her face flushed from both the heat and the conversation. "I try, but I’m definitely not as good as Wooyoung. I just get carried along for the ride," she teased, her voice a little raspy. "But it’s fun! Playing together just makes it all more entertaining, even if we end up getting wrecked."
Sean laughed at their dynamic. "Sounds like you guys have a blast even when things don’t go according to plan. A true team effort!"
Wooyoung nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! And honestly, the chaos in League is like the chaos from these wings. You never know what’s coming next, but you just have to roll with it."
Yn grinned, looking at Wooyoung. "Yeah, just like this hot sauce—League is always unpredictable."
scoville level 2,693,000: tenth question - are you two dating
Both Yn and Wooyoung froze for a moment, clearly taken aback by the intensity of the question, especially with the heat still burning. The tenth wing sat in front of them, glowing ominously. Wooyoung hesitated for a second, his mouth still on fire, before he slowly took a bite of the final wing, trying his best to maintain his composure.
Yn followed suit, biting into the fiery wing and immediately feeling the intense burn. The heat hit them both at once, and for a brief moment, neither of them could speak. Wooyoung wiped his eyes, trying to recover, and then finally managed to laugh weakly.
"Okay, this is really hot," he said, attempting to push through the question.
Tears flowed down both of their faces, yn hands out as one of the staff handed her another glass of milk.
Wooyoung, clearly struggling to keep it together, looked over at Yn, who was holding the milk with shaky hands. Tears streamed down their faces as they both tried to cool down from the scorching heat of the tenth wing. Wooyoung took a long swig of water, eyes wide as he tried to clear the fire from his mouth.
Yn took a sip of the milk, feeling a brief moment of relief as the coolness hit her tongue. She gave Wooyoung a sympathetic look, her eyes still teary. "This is a whole new level of spicy," she managed to say, her voice strained.
"uh, dating?" he repeated, glancing at Yn, who was still trying to manage the heat.
Yn, also struggling but determined to answer, managed a soft laugh through the burn. “ we're - holy shit " she gasped, eyes watering from the heat.
Wooyoung gulped the last of milk, " yes, we're dating, " he hoarse out
Yn took a deep breath, her face flushed from both the heat and the revelation. Her voice still a bit strained, she managed to finish her sentence, "We've been dating since 2020... right after we spent that whole summer together, just the two of us, during one of the most insane schedules we’ve ever had."
She wiped her face, still trying to cool down, and shot Wooyoung a playful look. "It wasn't exactly how we planned it, but I guess the wings weren't the only thing that got heated today."
Wooyoung, still trying to recover from the heat, gave a weak chuckle. "Yeah, I mean, it took us some time to figure things out, but… here we are. In front of everyone, telling the world."
Sean, clearly enjoying the moment, grinned widely. "Well, folks, looks like we just got a Hot Ones exclusive! Dating since 2020—what a reveal!"
Yn laughed weakly, her eyes still a bit watery. "I swear, these wings made everything 10 times harder, but yeah, here we are. And now everyone knows."
Wooyoung gave her a small grin, his voice soft. "Yeah, no more secrets. We’re in this together."
Sean, clearly impressed, leaned back in his chair. "Well, that’s a wrap for today's episode of Hot Ones. You both survived the heat, spilled the tea, and kept your sense of humor through it all. You’re legends in my book."
#ateez wooyoung x reader#wooyoung x reader#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez oneshot#ateez#ateez scenarios#ateez wooyoung#jung wooyoung#wooyoung#wooyoung x y/n#wooyoung x you#wooyoung fluff
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A lot of straight people, especially conservative leaning ones simply aren’t able to recognize queer storytelling unless a character explicitly says. “I’m gay” on screen. I was showing my mom yellowjackets and two of the teammates are clearly lesbians - like they’re clearly dating and even literally have sex, but my mom still consistently referred to the girlfriend character as the character’s “friend.”
With Stranger Things, I had to literally explain that Will was gay and in love with Mike and talking about himself in the van scene otherwise she literally wouldn’t have gotten it. Because it just wouldn’t have registered. She always knew something was “different” with Will, but she never realized he was gay because she will never jump to seeing a character as gay unless she has to. Even after this, she only fully understood when she saw the article of Noah explaining Will was canonically gay and in love with Mike, and even then, she didn’t really “understand” where this came from and seems to believe it came out of nowhere in S4
One of the most fascinating things to come out of S4 is people rightly picking up on the tension between will and mike and el, recognizing that something romantic was going on, but fully believing will was in love with eleven and that’s why he was crying and staring at mike in the desert. like I can’t even imagine that level of heteronormative restructuring, but that’s the way so many people’s minds work. People don’t think of queer stories because they just can’t relate…
Hello!
I particularly find this so sad, like I'm not even going to lie.
Like, how far heteronormativity goes and how it stops people from seeing things when they are clear and glaring. Like, don't they just want to see it so that they don't have to acknowledge it?
If so, is really terrible ngl.
I guess is hard for me to relate because my family isn't really conservative in most aspects (like watching with my dad was so interesting because during the van scene he explained to me that Will was talking about his own feelings and I was like I know, what do you take me for lmao?).
That's why I think next season will leave people bamboozled and is going to be interesting to witness, for sure.
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Its so heartbreaking to me that trevor's reaction to jack is that he was a bad friend or that he failed jack in some way 😭😭😭😭
😭 He's so used to rigidly controlling his every impulse in order to stay safe, that now he feels like he should be able to do the same thing on Jack's behalf too 😭
#why do i have this level of feelings about my own character#i have no one to blame but myself#and maybe all of you a little bit#hockey rpf#trevor zegras#jack hughes#where you lead
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for real WHERE does the idea that [utdr humans] are nongendered so that "you can project on them" come from. their literal character arcs are about NOT being a blank slate to be filled in by the audience
i think i understand the assumption on some level for undertale, because there is a very intentional effort to make you identify with the "player character" in order to make your choices feel like your own (the beating heart of undertale's metanarrative lies in giving you an alternative path to violence against its enemies after all, and whether you're still willing to persue it for your own selfish reasons. YOUR agency is crucial).
of course, the cardinal plot twist of the main ending sweeps the rug from under your feet on that in every way, and frisk's individuality becomes, in turn, a tool to further UT's OTHER main theme: completionism as a form of diegetic violence within the story. replaying the game would steal frisk's life and happy ending from them for our own perverse sentimentality, emotionally forcing our hand away from the reset button.
i think their neutrality absolutely aids in that immersion. but also, there's this weird attitude by (mostly) cis fans where it being functional within the story makes it... somehow "editable" and "up to the player" as well? which is gross and shows their ass on how they approach gender neutrality in general lol.
but also like. there's plenty of neutral, non PCharacters in undertale and deltarune. even when undertale was just an earthbound fangame and the player immersion metanarrative was completely absent, toby still described frisk as a "young, androgynous person". sometimes characters are just neutral by design. it's not that hard to understand lol.
anyone who makes this argument for kris deltarune is braindead. nothing else to say about it.
#this is a very difficult topic to discuss imo because on Some level I don't completely disagree with people who make that argument for chara#in SPIRIT. if not in action. like my point still stands characters can just Be neutral. and if that level of customization had been intended#well Pokemon's been doing the ''are you a boy or a girl'' shtick for ages. no reason why that couldn't have been included as well#but i do feel that we're supposed to identify with chara within the story. not as in chara is us but as in we are chara#and i think someone playing the game without outside interferences and (wrongly) coming to the conclusion that chara IS literally#themselves in the story. and thus call them by their own name (the one they likely inputted at the start) and pronouns#will be someone who grasped undertale's metanarrative more than someone who went in already spoiled on the NM route who thinks of chara#(and on some level frisk as well) as completely separate from us with independent wills and personhoods at any time#who treats them as nonbinary. even if their approach is more ''appropriate'' to a gender neutral person#systematic error vs manually changing every measure to fit what you already think is going to be the correct result. ykwim?#of course this opens a whole new parentheses while discussing the game outside of your personal experience#because even if you DO see chara as a self insert then they are a self insert for EVERYONE. women men genderqueer people#i don't call chara ''biscia'' even though that's what i named the fallen human in my playthrough. neither do i use they because i also do#if you're describing the character/story objectively in how they are executed then you're going to talk about them neutrally#because you ain't the only sunovabitch who played the darn game sonny#so like. either way you turn it. even in the most self insert reading you'd STILL logically use they/them so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ git gud#answered asks
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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Endeavor is almost a perfect allegory for what the society in the mha universe does to people who can't be heroes or use their quirks in a way to benefit society, which is cast them aside or pass them over without over giving them a second glance until uh-oh! Suddenly they're worth being noticed because they're a threat.
He apologizes to his family, which is good! If you're a bad person and did terrible things, the first step in your own transformation and atonement should be to acknowledge what you've done and to apologize to those you've wronged. Great!
Thing is, Endeavor set off a chain reaction with his abusive, neglectful and downright irresponsible choices that it damaged everyone in his family for life.
I don't think someone who causes one of their own children to literally go up in flames, crying because they're finally getting attention from their father and family in the very end, ever deserves to be forgiven.
#mha#my hero academia#endevour#mha dabi#mha endeavor#im sure im gonna get some flack for this because for some reason lots of people think that he should be redeemed but no???#im sorry guys i like villain redemption arcs as much as the next person and i understand being confused over#why so many people forgive other villains vs endeavor#but theres something about being in a place of power and influence and using that to harm and neglect your family and having EVERYONE#EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD PRETTY MUCH JUST LOOK AWAY AND SAY OH ITS NOT MY FAMILY THATS HIS BUISNESS#BETTER NOT GET INVOLVED IT'LL SORT ITSELF OUT#that just doesnt sit right with me whatsoever#ive liked plenty of villains who do horrible things but i can still see their good side because they have their henchman or their own family#or that one person who they care for and will protect because thats their heart#im saying that even though endeavor FEELS BAD he really just didnt have a heart or care for anyone but himself until hmm#oh! after he became the number one hero#and after he got a scar that humbled him#theres a reddit post where the op talks about how people soften him and are willing to forgive him but i think thats coming from people who#very very thankfully no shade did jot have to deal with anyone like that irl in any way#OR people who are less into stories and allegories again no shade and take characters at a more surface level#its just another read on the character which of course is obviously fine but please please understand why people will never forgive him#mha spoilers#its like especially hard to not hate him when you find out that dabi had his mothers power all along#meaning he WAS that perfect child that endeavor had been looking for but he cast him aside too soon to even let that power bloom early on#god i hate Endeavor so much#love the way hes written story and character wise like he IS really well written#but fuck him all the same lol
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TME PMV frame thingie WIP
I absolutely adore Helene and Lyla's relationship in both iterations of TME's story and i NEED more qpt gal relationships like theirs is i s2g
it's really, REALLY hard to get me sincerely invested in relationships between female characters but damn am i invested in this one.
Something about a do-good heroine who is abnormally hostile only towards her own half-sister for seemingly no reason (read: "no reason") is a dynamic i can't get enough and seeing Lyla constantly make efforts in both the manhwa/LN to reach out to her is so bittersweet and yet amazingly well done
(and i can't praise enough how amazing Helene is handled as a deeply flawed female character!!! She's genuinely the best written female character ive seen and i wish more gals were written as amazing as she is TwT)
#TME art#i love how i started this PMV before I read the LN and yet this still reads as canon-adherent#to both the manhwa and LN at that#also behold: the reason why i rely on CSP's head models to draw#technically i have a Paris-centered PMV im working on too but i flip between that one and this depending on my time and mood#fun fact i technically have a fake ending i've started working on too but idk if ill get to finish that one#point is i LOVE TME and i wanna keep giving it love even despite my wandering attention span and lack of time to draw#my favorite thing is watching people hate on Helene and clearly miss the point of her character in that she's just a young woman-#greatly traumatized by her childhood and has no proper way to cope or come to terms with her own feelings while surrounded by parents who-#hate her or want to manipulate her + with a sister who betrayed her + siblings who are morally bankrupt#+ literally her only friend (read: “friend”) is a psychopathic dragon whose dubious behavior towards her is more harmful than helpful#+ she's still the child whose own actions led to the person kindest towards her getting killed bc of her & her little sister “betraying” he#and she's never quite been able to grow up or come to terms with those feelings hence why she lashes out while longing for love#(and god do i hope it's Paris who helps bridge the gap between Helene and Lyla and in doing so we see him grow as a person)#(look i just want Paris to get kicked in the ass with character development and for him to truly see Helene as someone he cares for)#(bc as he is now he clearly just has surface-level puppy love towards Helene that has the potential to go somewhere and i hope it does)#(ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THE LN GIVES MORE THAN ENOUGH MATERIAL TO HAVE MADE THEM CANON)#(UGH IM STILL UPSET ABOUT THAT THE LN /LITERALLY/ SAID THEY MATCH EACH OTHER AND THEN DIDN'T MAKE IT CANON COME ON)#anyways it's like midnight now but yeah i LOVE TME can u tell#and could probs write whole character studies on all the characters with how deep they are in the manhwa alone holy shit
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I love writers I love when they ramble on abt characters and their motivations, their core values and the reasons why they react to things in certain ways and having character interactions work off of each other due to their differing ways of viewing the world and in general I just love character analysis
#as someone who loves humans and human behaviours and figuring out why people react to things the ways that they do#uhhh I'm actually surprisingly really bad @ writing characters with those same traits 😅#unless it is smth I can connect to on some sort of level like a few of my characters have issues that I specifically relate to#thereforee I can understand the ways they act in certain circumstances#BUT when it comes to characters that are like almost entirely outside of my wavelength it's pretty hard for me to understand how they work#and it's pretty basic habits and behaviours I just fuckin lack them in general#like the concept of clinginess or abandoment issues or wanting to stay around people who treat you badly or jealousy or missing people#also love like I understand my type of love but my type of love isn't typical from what I've seen from others#even some of my own past issues like dealing with trauma have kinda been lost on me especially bcuz I'm the type to ignore stuff#like I just ignored it til it came back to bite me in the ass and had to just kinda struggle with it and go completely numb#until I got tired of feeling that way and pulled myself outta it step by step and my various negative ways of thinking elude me#since I just gradually built myself up and rearranged my brain so that all negative thinking eventually turns into dust#whether be positive or purely neutral until I'm able to handle it better#REGARDLESS I try to get a sense of what these other traits are like and how exactly they work for people but it is VERY difficult for me#bcuz the stuff is just such an alien emotion to me like people get REALLY emotional about things that simply aren't a problem for me#and I wish I could understand why and what goes on in the brain that causes that but my brain just doesn't work that way#SOOO me trying to make characters of typical issues I see people having DOESN'T really work when I have no idea what's going on#like IN GENERAL my characters need to have more emotion behind them but the emotions I need them to have are#like I said before. something I totally lack ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I have no idea how to do it#I mean I think I need like a check list I need to make a list of traits my characters have in general cuz I never write anything down#it'd be easier to figure it out if I had words to go along with it and then I could figure out the behaviours behind those words#plus I need to draw my characters cuz I'm very much a visual person I can't get as good of a feel without some visuals along with it
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social anxiety can be really funny in retrospect bc it will have you saying shit like 'is it weird to call a doctor's office and schedule an appointment?"with 100% sincerity and panicking about it as if that's not the silliest thing in the world
#this is a personal post about my own experiences having grown up with a debilitating social anxiety disorder#that is more or less under control thanks to meds#if you are scared of calling doctors offices or ordering subway or Being In Public i am not mocking you#anxiety disorders are disorders BECAUSE they are debilitating phobias that lacks logic#(hence why CBT for anxiety often talks about thinking through anxiety with logic)#mostly it's remarkable how far i've come in just four years (i was looking back through old personal posts) and i'm making a joke about tha#bc it feels silly from the other end! but i also remember being that person. i remember how fucking horrible it was#and the thing about anxiety is it does look silly or baseless or stupid from the outside#and sometimes we even see that. but that doesn't change the fact that our brains and bodies are working against us#social anxiety really fucks with your perception of reality. i don't want to say like.. to the level of delusions but it will have you#Making Shit Up. felt extreme social anxiety getting food at a buffet as a child. like to the point where i didn't want to do it if i didn't#have someone else with me bc i thought doing anything Alone was Weird. including. walking#my brain was just gaslighting me to the point of paranoia and of course anyone who's been gaslit or otherwise manipulated#feels stupid once they have the benefit of hindsight. especially when the call was coming from inside the fucking house!#because it seems 'obvious' now. but that doesn't matter!#which is why i'm saying like. if you are the person feeling Wrong being alone in public or making phone calls#i Have Been There. I was there for most of my life lol. i spent more time constantly anxious than i have spent with controlled anxiety#i Remeber what it was like. so this is not me saying “git gud” it's me saying “damn getting better and having hindsight will leave you#thinking about the past in a different light!" which is just how the progression of time#and character development works lol#anyway#the queen of trash has spoken
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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man no hate to sarai or ruza but i would've been ape shit over a lazlo/nero pairing... when narrative foils understand and complete each other i go fucking crazy
#yeah nero was a dick the whole first book#and the entirety of the time they knew each other#but he got a redemption arc#and lazlo forgave him#tbh the romance plots were the least interesting thing about the books#except tzara and calixte those two can stay#because calixte is funny as hell when she's embarrassing nero#also ruza felt a little.. young? for him?#he's 18 but he's soooo childish#(in a fantasy world like this it's more about maturity level than strict ages in my own humble opinion)#(nero is 20 like lazlo but feels older because having the fate of the kingdom placed on your shoulders ages you real quick)#ANYWAY this isnt about age anyway#it's about how lazlo and strange's characters mirror and complete each other#which makes them much more interesting than their canon relationships in my humble opinion#also#almost every internal dialogue from nero is “what would strange think” followed by “why should i care what strange thinks”#he's so gay for him bro#ugh anyway#cracks knuckles guess i have to do it myself#eventually#strange the dreamer#muse of nightmares#sarai#ruza#lazlo strange#thyon nero
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honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues
#toy txt post#im shocked hes gotten 11 bites in tbh thats insane? if nothing else. it sounds like that environment was not great for him stresswise if hes#biting that often#i dont buy into that dogs always have good character judgement thing but i do think there is probably some overlap with#commanders vibe checking and the general temperament of your average secret service agent being a disasterous combo of#commander not digging their vibe and the energy they bring to interactions with him. ESPECIALLY now that he has such an extensive history of#bad interactions w agents that like. for sure affects how they approach interacting w him#and like. probably some overlap w the agents hes biting and the agents who might have some unhinged politics of their own#that doesnt mean hes Aware or that his general Judge Of Character should be taken at face value#hes just a breed that is gonna be be pretty distrustful of strangers who is constantly having strangers in his space#that are probably asserting themselves in his space and close to his ppl in ways he doesnt like but that is basically part of their job#which he doesnt understand that. all he sees is Some Random Guy with annoying vibes thats probably giving him sideeye and#exuding vibes of 'god i hope this stupid fucking dog that bites secret service agents doesnt bite me' and the dog that bites secret service#agents is like hey bro whats with the attitude. why are you so close to my ppl. why are you tensing up when im near you? are you gonna#go after me bro? not if i get you first. and the cycle continues. fuckin oof#11 times is insane but honestly. honestly. if i had a bunch of assholes following me around with a tense aggro energy and shit#i feel like moxie might start biting. shes not bitten anyone yet so far despite her high level of distrust towards strangers but like.#i think if their was someone with fuckin. Cop Vibes getting all up in the space of her people she might give it a go. idk#maybe not. shes mostly more confrontational towards other animals than to ppl. w ppl she cowers and trembles. but idk sometimes when we're#trying to convince her she doesnt need to have an anxiety attack about every new person she'll sometimes like sit on one of us and then get#a little growly when someone comes close not just cos shes scared but also cos shes being protective. but also its funny bc she is also like#trying to hide between our legs like a baby penguin. she is simultaneously trying to Protecc and Be Proteccted
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honestly there's smth rly nice about fellow creators who r obsessed with the same fictional character. how our interpretations are all slightly different. but we r just nodding at each other like Good Portrayal, my dude
idk, it's nice
#speculation nation#like definitely my favorite interpretations r my own. that's why theyre mine lol#i have Opinions about how akechi should be. some very strong opinions.#but while some of them are 'if you do this thing with your interpretation of him i will literally not interact with this work bc i hate it'#others r just like 'thats not how my personal interpretation of akechi acts but that's okay <3'#i feel like there's some ambiguity for How He Is behind all his masks and everything. bc we never truly do see him with all his walls down#we get glimpses. little sights of something vulnerable in conversation at leblanc or a vulnerable vent in the bath#and then we see him being just. SUPER no nonsense in 3rd semester#3rd semester is certainly closest to How He Is. but it's not everything. bc those soft moments still existed in the prior stuff too.#how people interpret these things inform how they portray him as a character. which i think is rly fascinating to see.#so yea there's a level of variance from my favorite interpretation of him that i find fine & good from other ppl#... and then there's SOME interpretations that just have me like. are we looking at the same fucking character? what is WRONG with you#*cough*twitter goroboys*cough*#lmfao. idk i just follow a lot of goro fans on here#of Course i do. we flock to each other. we love him very much.#and i enjoy how many friends ive made through this lksjdflsdjf we are here with our goro interpretations... Together <3
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tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz
#its like. this is more on like. why is it bad that theres a zelda formula. why is it bad that all of the games follow this formula#that’s their identity??? like pokemon games and fire emblem games all have their own formulas so to say#and so thats their identity thats what you expect going in thats their niche their gameplay experience identity#and i just. really fucking hate how loz seems to be going the route of just. throwing shit at the wall and trying everything else#and nothing sticks so the more recent ones just feel like open world slop that dont excel at anything#so fuck this im going to play elden ring with a double jumping horse and great and challenging combat. i’ll play minecraft#yknow? and i dont understand why loz games feeling ‘similar’ is so fucking bad like???? every game series’ entries feel similar thats the#point yknow. if they suddenly made a fire emblem that was an fps for no reason other than to break convention and break away feom the#formula then what the fuck thats not even fire emblem any more. like. idk. i kinda just despise the newer stuff bc its so. middle of the#road whatever and has just about nothing i actually like and look for in the series. they dont have that niche identity any more#its a shift that just makes them like part of the open world white noise every aspect is honed down and done better in other games#its not like the formula causes every loz game to be really predictable or blend together fuck no#theyre still each very unique from each other even if they follow the same guidelines thats the fun???#like woah i wonder how the dungeons will differ what the new story and characters will be what new items#fucking hell boo hoo this game series’ games are similar to each other. almost as if they share the same central identity#absolutely just letting off steam and frustration here i hate when ppl treat the formula as a bad thing when it’s like. what makes them loz#like fuck its not like theyre exactly the same like i said theres a great deal of variety in what each one offers no need to just chuck it#all thats the kind of shit i come to loz for. i go to fire emblem for the specific leveling up strategy gameplay i go to pokemon for the#creature battling and specific world feel botw/totk just. do not carry with them the same signifiers of loz and they dont really have#identities beyond go do whatever the fuck which is not very compelling??? like can we at least commit to something here?#im yelling at shadows here im just. fuckin tired and feeling pessimistic abt this future of this game series whose core gameplay is one of#my all time favorites i really like the tightly designed linear-with-freedom dungeons and puzzles and world and all that#like the aesthetics changing is great and its fun to see different takes and tones on it but that core sense of things is like. The Point#of choosing to play loz yknow what i mean. like just bc its got ‘legend of zelda’ slapped on it doesnt gonna mean im gonna want to play a#vastly different experience if that makes sense. thats not the precedent thats not what you like. expect and associate with this#i feel like i sound like some entitled fuck abt this but like. is that tried and true style just going to be trashed in favor of this#honestly kinda bland everyman-ass style just bc it started to seem like it was getting stale. fuck this im gonna see what tunic’s about#likely delete later this was just a vent. ‘the zelda formula is a bad thing-‘ are you fucking serious rn#like hesitantly hopeful abt eow bc someone i know is excited for it so ill def play it but just. man
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,
#reconsidering that one character I have that I’m always agonizing about here#reconsidering her name specifically#because younger me thought a Frankenstein monster character would have a fun name like Dead#and it’s like#it was supposed to be one of those names she just picked out on a whim#but with the drama of what her origin became#I feel like she should get the autonomy to pick out a name for herself that means a lot to her#maybe later on in the story if we’re doing the long run thing#I say this because I had a vision of a scene where she internalised her parent yelling that she’s dead#and keeping the name because of that#and that gave me cringe levels I never expected to have#what in the CW writing is that o(-(#why does my brain hate me#I think because of this I will avoid the D word until she finally gets to introduce herself on her own terms#I have no cringe reaction yet so let’s see how this will go ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
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