#why do his news outlet videos always look straight out of a movie

[love4hobi]

welcome back, my love ♡

[ericspinkhair]

quarantine longings

pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny

warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint

a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.

requests are open!

masterlist + requests

you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.

'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.

'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.

there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.

why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.

after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.

and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.

earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.

to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.

you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.

he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.

your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.

occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.

having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.

that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.

what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.

he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.

whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.

last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.

he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.

he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.

'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.

he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.

'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.

***

'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.

'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.

you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'

within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.

he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.

kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.

'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.

'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.

'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.

'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.

watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.

'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.

'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.

'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'

'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.

you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.

there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.

and then the infamous boat scene came.

massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.

you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.

'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.

'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.

his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.

his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.

your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.

'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?

'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.

'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.

'just do it.'

you took his hand and led it to your crotch.

'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'

'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'

you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.

'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.

you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.

he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.

'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.

'you bet I will.' he was confident.

'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.

'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'

the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.

he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.

your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.

he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.

he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.

desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.

'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.

'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.

'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.

'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.

'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'

kevin hummed in agreement.

***

so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.

today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.

he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.

'sorry.'

after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.

'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.

'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.

'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'

he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.

'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'

suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.

'I like you.'

you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.

'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.

'do you want me to?' you asked him.

'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.

'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.

'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.

'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.

'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.

'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'

so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.

[knickynoo]

“Back to the Future”: Thoughts, commentary, and general ramblings on the (bonkers) novel by George Gipe. Pt 6

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

- After figuring out the inner workings of the DeLorean, Doc looks through the suitcase his future self had packed. (This is actually a deleted scene from the movie that I'm glad was cut) And anyway, Doc is surprised to find that all the clothes are cotton, but...hmm, Doc, maybe that's because you have an allergy to synthetic fabrics?? Perhaps that's why all the clothes in the suitcase are cotton?? Just a theory.

He does also say that he assumed everyone would be wearing paper garments in the future, so I guess that's why he's surprised.

- OKAY, okay. So, I LOVE this part. When Doc runs off in a panic after discovering they'll need 1.21 gigawatts to power the flux capacitor, the novel makes a point of mentioning that the room he runs into is his painting room. And instead of going straight to his picture of Thomas Edison, Doc starts frantically painting, "like a malfunctioning windmill".

Marty hurries in after him all, what are you doing?? and Doc explains that he always paints when he can't figure out a problem. And I can't tell you how quickly I've become attached to a Doc who, along with being so science-minded, is also very artistically inclined. The idea of Doc having a dedicated room to do his painting and using it as an outlet to work out complicated problems is such an enjoyable thought to have floating around in my noggin.

Also, ALSO. This:

Along with this whole exchange being really funny and sweet, I just can't get over Marty being like, Slap some green on there, Doc, and Doc immediately calming down at the sight of it smeared all over the canvas. This should've been in the movie.

- Book Doc is in the habit of calling Marty "my boy" which is such an endearing term that I also wish would've been in the movie. I believe Doc in the Telltale video game/IDW comic also does this with Marty at least once.

- Onto the next gem (because these 2 chapters just seem to be full of them). Please enjoy this conversation that's spurred on by Doc asking if Marty had interacted with anyone else during the day. Gotta include another picture because me summarizing it simply wouldn't do it justice.

It's just. I laughed out loud, people. Marty sarcastically mouths off, Doc scolds him and then proceeds to pose an absurd scenario that ends with Marty having hypothetically killed someone. All because of fifty cents. And I can see this scene playing out. I can so clearly picture Marty going all pale and wide-eyed and being like, "I'm a MURDERER" over some ridiculous, made-up story Doc's just told.

- In terms of all the 50's clothes Marty acquires, I've tended to be partial to the headcanon of Marty tagging along with Doc to pick out things he liked. Realistically, though, I figured Doc likely did the shopping solo--not wanting Marty to be out and interacting with people unnecessarily, which is the case in the novel. Doc just gets his sizes and runs out on a shopping spree. And you know what? I also like the concept of Doc being the one to pick the outfits. Given Doc's own, um, eccentric taste in clothing (Hawaiian shirts and that shirt with the random, jumbled up letters) he picks out some nice clothes for his new young friend. Very hip. Very cool. Good job, Doc.

- Marty loves the clothes but is very against putting the Vaseline hair tonic in his hair on account of he's suspicious of the ingredients and is afraid it'll give him cancer. Doc assures him it's a required part of blending in and that's it's very fashionable and cool. Marty is like, "Well, then how come you don't use it?", to which Doc's reply is, "It's also very flammable." And I am obsessed with the fact that Doc's answer is that he can't wear it in his hair because it's FLAMMABLE and the implication that he knows he will, at some point, set himself on fire, so better to reduce his level of combustability.

And I'm reminded of that picture I see floating around every so often of the deleted scene where Marty is combing his hair--which he does here in the book right after the above banter. Makes me sad that we potentially could've had the above conversation about the hair gel, but it was stolen from us. :((

Alrighty, that's all for now. More nonsense to come.

[kit-herondale-carstairs]

TDA Characters on TikTok

Julian: doesn’t post very often because he is a father but when he does it is always him painting or drawing something with lofi music or him sharing a tidbit about one of the children or other family members (Kieran, Cristina, Diana, Emma and Aline included and always with their explicit permission). 

- He’s very popular without even trying and most assume he is a young single father (which isn’t wrong).

-  Mostly finds himself on cottagecore or parent side of tiktok. 

- doesn’t understand all the thirsty comments he gets because “I don’t even show my face, Emma, why would they think I’m attractive?” but always shares them with Emma because they make her laugh.

Emma: Does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it. Posts nearly every day and page is generally a mixture of self defense videos, vintage makeup/dress tutorials, and videos slamming the patriarchy but also always does the latest dancing videos and other trends.

- always tries to get others to join in on her trend videos, mostly joined by Mark and Cristina when she can rope her in.

- Nearly broke tiktok when she got Julian to do the “You could have been nicer to me” trend because NO ONE KNEW THEY WERE DATING  AND EVEN THOUGH THEY COULDN’T SEE HIS FACE EVERYONE RECOGNIZED HIS VOICE AND HE WAS SO SWEET WHEN HE OFFERED TO TAKE HER TO HER FAVORITE THRIFT STORE AND BUY HER SOME DRESSES AFTER HE PUT THE “BABY” DOWN FOR HIS NAP. 

- - everyone knows the “baby” is actually at least seven but no one ever said his name because he’s too young so everyone collectively knows him as “the baby”

- solidly on gay tiktok even though she’s straight. 

Mark: Daily blogs. Everyone thinks he’s shit posting because it’s all wild things like standing in a middle of a circle of flowers and talking about “this pixie named Aelia lives here and she’s a BITCH”. Often shows videos of him cooking or baking wild concoctions that range from “Okay, I’d try that” to “this is why God has abandoned us”. 

- Does dancing videos with Emma all the time and often acts as the “creeper” in her self defense videos. 

- Caused a meltdown on tiktok when he casually mentioned his “partners” and started creating videos to raise awareness for polyamory. 

- Revealed Julian was his brother when he posted a video of Julian yelling at him for a solid minute because “the baby is covered in honey, why is the baby covered in honey, Mark? We don’t let the baby bathe in honey even if he really wants to Mark -” 

- solidly on cooking and gay tiktok, often takes a sharp left into “crackhead” tiktok

Kieran: Posts videos of cats he finds and rates them. The lowest ever was a 9.5/10 because “she bit me fairly hard but I scared her and I deserved it for trying to pet her without permission”. 

- does not do any trends or reveal much personal information. 

- Was always considered wholesome until he (on a dare from Dru) posted a video joking about choking a bossy sub that rounded up on kinktok. 

-- everyone went through a brief freak out trying to figure out if he had a partner but it was never solved. 

--- No one noticed that Mark posted a video joking about how “one of his partners was absolutely in the doghouse” accompanied by someone sitting in a cardboard ‘doghouse’ around the exact same time. 

- solidly on animal tiktok but occasionally veers into kinktok with more (less explicit) dom/sub humor. 

Cristina: Does not have her own tiktok but often appears in videos with Emma and occasionally shows up in Mark’s. 

- Absolute sweetheart always, even when she is demonstrating a self defense move with Emma, and is always commended for trying Mark’s foods. 

-- especially commended when trying the foods while, offscreen, their other partner yells about “Hell food” 

- is flattered with all the comments begging her to start her own tiktok but doesn’t feel like she has the time to fully commit to one properly. 

Livvy: (She’s alive, don’t @ me) Does absolutely all the new trends and also does various acting POVs 

- her soulmate POVs are most popular but she also is known for dueting act-along POVS with other popular creators

- also occasionally posts videos rating the best male actors/superheroes and once got into a long drawn out back to back war with someone on whether or not Captain America really had “America’s ass” 

- had a very popular multiple-part series about being a girl in the MCU dating the various Avengers but ended it abruptly after Endgame because “Natasha Romanoff deserved better and it hurts too much”

-she used to post occasional videos where she laments on being the “only single person in the family” but she started getting some very creepy duets and comments from actual adults so she told Julian and they both agreed it would be better for her to stop them

-- Julian did take the time to duet the people being inappropriate and explained very clearly that their actions were wrong and directed towards a LITERAL CHILD and shamed multiple accounts into flat out deleting

Ty: Posts literally whatever interests him. Has two animal series - one where he shares facts about his favorite kinds of animals and one where he showcases various animals he’s found in the tidepools or around the house. 

- has done several video series of rescuing animals and has at least one where Julian could be heard lecturing him on trying to raise wild animals in his bedroom again 

-- tiktok freaked out because this happened right around the same time as Julian calling out all the creeps on Livvy’s tiktok and no one knew that the twins he talked about were them  

- also does videos about his favorite literary works - notably Sherlock Holmes - and true crime/mystery videos 

-- he always makes sure to carefully put in warnings for anything remotely violent or triggering and has never had a single video taken down for violating the rules even when he did a multiple part series on the Black Dahlia and how her crime was ‘absolutely solved but because the man who did it was rich and white, he got away with it and probably also killed at least two other women, one of whom was killed in the Philippines” 

-  sometimes does twin videos with Livvy because she likes them and it makes her happy. 

Dru: Queen of witch/horror/true crime tiktok. 

- got in trouble with Julian for showing actual runes in videos but everyone just thought they were for the aesthetic so it was fine

- most popular videos is a series where she rates horror movies on how they do on the bechdel test 

- sometimes duets Ty’s or Livvy’s videos just to drag them (with love) 

- Has a very popular series on “women who snapped” and is known for almost rarely during part 2s (and therefore having to speak very very fast) 

- also complains constantly because her videos will get taken down even if they aren’t that violent and includes clips from far worse videos from male creators to point out the double standard

- occasionally dives into tiktok drama just to dabble and then sits on the sidelines and watches it happen

-- 100% built a balloon arch to flex on That Balloon Girl 

- solidly on witchtok and horrortok

Kit: King of petty/messy tiktok who also posts random videos about crime and occasional blogs

- switches from either sharing no information to borderline oversharing childhood trauma

- shares videos on borderline illegal ways to get back at exfriends/expartners/exfamily members/general enemies 

-- putting fish in people’s vents, subscribing them to magazines under various similar names, sending them glitter in the mail, opening their oreos and taking out the middle of all of them, putting baby locks on their cabinets and in the outlets they can’t see (like under the bed so they can’t get plug in their cellphone charger at night), etc. 

- is always eating some sort of snack, no matter what he is doing

- also posts videos about personal safety like what locks will actually keep people out and what ones are easy to break into

--caused several minor freakouts when he casually mentioned his father taught him how to do it

- occasionally posts videos with an adorable toddler and a young couple who he refers to as “mom and dad” even though they look at MOST five years older than him and he often makes parental abandonment jokes/comments

- no idea where he lives because he speaks in an American accent and talks constantly about American/California life but everything around him looks very British 

- absolutely dives head first into every tiktok drama and will go for the throat for anyone who makes ableist/sexist/racist/homophobic comments without hesitation

-- his drags are legendarily savage and he has caused numerous problematic accounts to just straight up disappear

- duets videos from Livvy, Dru, Mark, Emma and Julian ( with lots of savage drags) but no one knows how he knows them because he is absolutely somewhere in the UK and all of them are based in California/US

-- he also notably NEVER duets Ty

--- the mystery is finally solved when Kit does a livestream and reveals that he met all of them because he was briefly living with them before getting placed with his family, the young couple who actually are his mom and dad 

---- he is very vague about the living situation but everyone assumes he was a foster child 

- he once caused a mass freakout on Tiktok (that actually spilled over to twitter and buzzfeed) when he announced he was going back to the US to visit friends and then posted a video with the caption “when you see your boyfriend in person for the first time in MONTHS but he’s too distracted by some wet 🐱” 

-- the video panned out from Kit’s unamused face to Ty gently rubbing a tiny wet kitten  with a soft cotton towel 

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Hotel | Unus Annus

Requested? No but I’m just posting whatever at this point LMAO 

Warnings? None? A really bad part 1 set up thing 

Summary: Mark and Ethan accompany you to visit your parents on the east coast when a hurricane hits and knocks out the power. So, you head to a hotel for a break from the unforgivable heat and find that you’re not only sharing a room with the two friends, but a bed.

Word Count: 1,306

Two  |  Three  |  Four

You weren’t sure how you got here. 

Well, it was actually your fault in a way. 

You had been friends with Mark and Ethan for almost 3 years now. Ever since coming to LA to pursue your dreams and go to college as a backup, you had spent the same amount of time with the two men you called your best friends. Whether you helped them film, ran errands with them, or just hung out, it was surprising not to see you with Mark or Ethan. 

It was a quick bond with the three of you and when they started the unus annus channel you loved the idea from the start. It gave them a new creative outlet that they knew wouldn’t have to go on forever and it was something you could help them film. You loved filming with them and coming up with ideas and overall just making memories in the short year for the channel. 

During the time, you realized how quickly your feelings had grown for both Ethan and Mark. It was confusing as all hell, to say the least. But, you had a different relationship with both of them and couldn’t help it. 

Ethan was dorky, energetic, and caring. He was always up for any adventure you threw at him whether it was going to target, going on a hike, or stargazing at 3 am he was right there by your side. 

Mark was calm, charming, and loving. He listened to every word you said, took them each in with care, and responded the same way. He cooked with you and had late-night talks together on drives through LA. 

You were bonded with both of them in different ways and started to fall for them in different ways. You couldn’t help the never-ending zoo parading around in your stomach whenever you were around them. Which certainly didn’t stop when they were filming. 

“Today we’re going to be bleaching our shirts!” Ethan exclaims excitedly. 

They were on their first video of the day and you were happy it was a lowkey video to start off the morning. Just as the boys start to pour bleach on the shirts, your phone rings in your pocket. 

“(y/n),” Ethan whines and you apologize profusely. 

You set the camera down so the boys are still seen in the frame before turning to see who’s calling and watch as your dad’s name pops up. You answer the call and listen as he greets you. 

“Hi (y/n)!” he says. 

“Hey, dad. What’s up?” you ask, uncertain as to why he called you so early for west coast time. 

“I just wanted to make sure you’re still planning to come home in a few weeks to visit.” 

You smack a hand against your forehead and cringe for a moment, forgetting that you had promised you would visit your parents before school starts, and nod even though he can’t see you. 

“Yup! I’ll let you know the flight details soon okay? Love you.” 

He returns the sentiment before hanging up and you turn back to the two friends staring at you in confusion. You shake your head and insist that they finish the video and you would explain after. 

Once they’re done modeling the shirts and you cut the camera, Mark is the first to ask what’s up. 

“I forgot I told my parents I’d visit them before school starts.” 

“How long?” Ethan asks. 

“Probably a week or so,” you respond, shrugging your shoulders. The two boys look between each other seemingly having a silent conversation before turning back to you. 

“Can we come with you?” Mark asks. 

You tilt your head to the side in confusion but Ethan continues Mark’s question. 

“We’ve never met your family and you don’t talk about them too much so can we come?” 

So that’s how you, Mark, and Ethan ended up on the east coast visiting your family for two weeks. You were nervous considering you hadn’t brought anyone home from LA and to bring both boys was a little scary. 

Thankfully, your family greeted the boys with open arms. Your mom loved Mark, loved how sweet he was, how gentle and caring, and how well he sat and listened and had a conversation with her even if she was just rambling to him. 

Your dad loved Ethan. He has the ability to talk about anything and when your dad started talking about sports, something Ethan wasn’t fond of, you were surprised how easily he kept the conversation. The two bonded quickly and got along well. 

“Did you hear about the hurricane that’s supposed to hit?” your dad asks as your making lunch one day. 

“No. How bad is it supposed to be?” you ask turning to face him. 

“Supposed to knock out the power for a couple of days.”

“Wait a hurricane?” Ethan asks nervously from his place at the kitchen table. 

“You’ve never been through one?” 

The older boy shrugs his shoulders and you smile widely at him. You thought it was cute that he was a little nervous about the hurricane. You had been through a couple of them throughout your life due to living on the east coast so they never bothered you too much unless they were supposed to include snow, or a category 5. 

As promised, a few days later the hurricane, that’s reduced to a tropical storm hits. You, Mark, and Ethan were watching a movie when the power goes out and your heart drops for a second out of old habits. 

“Fuck!” you yell out making the two best friends laugh. 

“Do you guys have a generator?” Mark asks. 

“You’ve held a conversation with my dad before right? That man is too cheap to buy a generator,” you joke, and Mark laughs and nods. 

“So, board games?” 

The three of you spend the next few days attempting to keep cool in the hot summer air and occupy yourselves in any way possible. You were shocked that the outage had lasted this long and the end seemed nowhere in sight. 

“Okay, we’re going to a hotel tonight,” your dad announces upon entering the living room on the fourth day without power.

You, Mark, and Ethan had started practically camping out in the living room because it was one of the coolest places you could find. Upstairs in your room was too hot and the basement was unfinished so you took over the couches and majority of the floor of your main room. 

“Please tell me you’re not joking,” you say sitting up to look at him. 

“Nope we leave in two hours,” he says before turning on his heel and leaving the room. 

“Oh thank god!” 

The three of you pack a small bag, and after two hours head out to the hotel about a 20-minute drive from your small home. The boys were excited although they wouldn’t admit that the experience of no power was horrific. 

“Ready to head in?” your dad asks when you get there. 

The five of you hop out of the car and straight towards the hotel. You and Ethan wander around the lobby, inspecting the aesthetic of the room and peering into the pool. 

“(y/n)!” your dad calls. 

You and Ethan head over to your parents and Mark and your father offers a smile. 

“Well, you three will be sharing a room but so help me,” he starts and you roll your eyes. 

“We got it, dad.” 

The five of you head up to your rooms and when you get into your shared room, your jaw drops. Not only was the room small, the bed was large. However, there was only one of them. 

“Uh,” you say as the two boys follow you into the room. 

“Wait, they only gave us one bed?” Mark questions. 

“So, sleepover?”

[thewritewolf]

What He Deserves

Summary: Not even a week has passed since Hawkmoth was revealed to all the world to be Gabriel Agreste. As Adrien sits in his truly empty house, unable to leave thanks to the crowd of people outside, he wonders if this is what he deserves for not realizing sooner.

But then again, not everyone has the same ideas about what he deserves...

Hello and welcome to another birthday fic! This one is for the ever amazing @leviaana, founder of my favorite discord group, fantastic artist, and occasional candy exchange buddy. She said she likes post-reveal hurt/comfort that turns to fluff and I aim to please!

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Adrien tentatively pulled back the curtains in the second-floor living room and peered outside, across the porch and over the wall that separated him from the outside world.

The news had broken only a couple days ago - only hours after Adrien himself found out. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting at first, but it wasn’t long before the crowd started to form. Some were unquestionably reporters. His years as Chat Noir had made it easy for him to pick them out from a crowd. He even recognized some of their voices, which had long been chasing him for interviews.

Somehow, he didn’t think they were going to be asking him about his favorite flavors or the most interesting akumas now. Although they definitely would be interested in what he knew about Hawkmoth, now that his father had been unmasked.

Which is why he believed the other people in the crowd were here. Some just seemed curious. Others seemed... Angry.  

Maybe that was to be expected. The fall of Hawkmoth was as sudden as it was unexpected. Just another routine akuma attack that had accidentally revealed his base of operations. A quick five on one fight later and the butterfly miraculous was in Ladybug’s hands, a battered Gabriel Agreste was taken into custody, and Adrien Agreste’s life had been left in shambles.

It meant that there wasn’t much closure for anyone - not yet, at least. While people waited for his father’s trial to start, years of building frustration had to find an outlet somewhere.

And who better than the last free, living Agreste?

Thankfully, nothing had happened yet, but the crowd had turned his home into more of a prison than it had ever been while his father was in it and that was an accomplishment all on its own. Without his parents, Nathalie, or even the Gorilla to take up space in the mansion, he had never felt so alone before.

The only company Adrien had Plagg and his own emotions, and neither were doing wonders for his mental health.

“Kid,” Plagg said with a tired voice. They’d had this conversation plenty of times before and Adrien knew they were about to have it again. “None of this was your fault.”

“Yeah?” Adrien closed the curtain just as people started to look his way, plunging the room into darkness once again. “I’ve lived under the same roof as Hawkmoth for years.” Adrien raised his voice and threw his hands over his head. “I’m Chat Noir! If anyone could have found Hawkmoth ages ago, it would be me!” His arms fell limply to his sides once again and he stared dully at his kwami. His voice dropped to just above a whisper. “So why didn’t I?”

Plagg shook his head. “He was good enough to hide it from everyone and he was a recluse, even with you. There’s no way you could have known without doing some serious digging.”

“Maybe…” Adrien stared at a massive family painting, saw the cold and calculating look his father had even then. “Or maybe I just didn’t want to even consider it. Maybe I was having so much fun being Chat… fighting alongside my friends… alongside Marinette, that I just didn’t care.”

“You know that’s not true,” Plagg replied quietly.

“Who knows? That’s probably what they think now. No wonder they haven’t tried to visit since the news broke. They don’t want to be anywhere near me right now, and I can’t blame them.” Adrien put his back to the wall and slid down it, taking a seat on the ground and pulling his knees up to his chest. “I don’t want to be near me right now. No wonder they feel the same way.”

“Kid-”

Whatever Plagg was going to say was cut off when there was a knock at the front door. With how quiet and still the rest of the house was, it sounded as loud as thunder as it echoed in the emptiness. Adrien shot a fearful glance toward his kwami - had people finally stormed the mansion? - but Plagg just shook his head and smirked.

Cautiously but now a little curious, Adrien went down the stairs. He watched the door all the while as soon as it came into view. There was another knock. Not violent or angry. Polite. Familiar. But definitely insistent.

Adrien peeked out the window next to the front door and his eyes widened at the sight of his friends loitering on the other side.

Nino and Alya were chatting as if this was nothing out of the usual. Marching up to Hawkmoth HQ, straight past a future angry mob, just to knock on the front door? Who doesn’t do that on a Friday afternoon, honestly? And there was Chloe, of course, checking her makeup in her compact, looking as fashionably detached from her environment as ever.

And standing right in front of the door, expectantly, happily… was Marinette herself. One hand was holding onto a big duffle bag that was thrown over her shoulder and the other was held at her side as she stared up into the sturdy wood door. There was no doubt in her eyes, no worry that he might not answer. Just complete and patient faith.

How could he even contemplate letting her down?

Adrien opened the door and it was like breaking open the flood gates. The first thing he saw was Marinette’s face, her bright blue eyes looking up at him as they shifted from quiet contemplation to soft affection. Their eyes connected in a moment that lasted forever and he could almost swear that his heart stopped beating as they stared into each other…

“Dude!”

The moment shattered when Nino bodily threw himself over the threshold and collided with Adrien, forcing him to stumble back a few steps or fall down in a heap.

The others quickly followed Nino’s example and soon Adrien was caught at the center of one big group hug. Marinette was the last to join since she paused to close the door. A few seconds into the hug, Adrien realized to his surprise that he was trembling - had he really missed human contact that much over the last few days?

All too soon they each pulled back until they were standing around the foyer, watching him. That’s when he noticed that it wasn’t just Marinette with an overstuffed bag with her. It looked like each of them had packed for a long trip.

Some of his confusion must have shown on his face since Alya grinned and said, “Better get used to having some roommates for a while, blondie. We’re not going anywhere.”

“But how did you get passed the-?”

“She knew the passcode for the gate.” Chloe jerked a thumb at Marinette. “The rest of us glared at the crowd until they gave us some space.”

“But don’t worry ‘bout that, dude!” Nino threw an arm around Adrien’s shoulder. “We’re here to have a chill time. You’ve got the space and we’ve got the fun, so let’s get this party started!”

Nino steered Adrien towards his room and they got started.

‘Bringing the fun’ hadn’t even been close to an exaggeration on Nino’s part. There were video games, movies, board games, all sorts of ways to keep themselves entertained. His room started off as the cold and sterile place that it had been for most of his life. But as the hours ticked past, it slowly changed into something else. Someone would go and grab more pillows. They’d push some couches and chairs together in front of the television. Tables would be pulled together for a huge game. Snacks and drinks were strewn everywhere.

It was chaotic. His room was a mess.

It was the most fun he’d had out of the mask in his life. The house was filled with light and life and love for the first time in years and he had his friends to thank for that. Or, as he slowly realized, Marinette specifically. She was the one who had planned it all, organized them, and got as much entertainment together as possible.

The day gave way to night and they were all camped out in front of his television, lost in a cozy den of blankets and pillows propped up against his couch. They were deep into a movie marathon. It could have been twenty two hundred at night - it could have been four in the morning. Time was meaningless at this point. Almost everyone was asleep, except for him.

Well… him and Marinette.

She was laying right beside him as they shared the same blanket, scooted close to each other as the winter chill began to set in. They weren’t touching, but he could feel her warmth radiating off her. His hand twitched ever so slightly as he yearned to move it just a few centimeters and take her hand in his.

The years had brought them closer together than ever, especially after their identities had gotten revealed to each other. They’d always teetered on the edge of a relationship, but with all the uncertainties of life and the tangled mess of revealed identities, they never could commit.

But now, as he glanced furtively at her, lit only by the pale light of the movie, he wondered…

Then he remembered the reason they were here in the first place and his mood crashed. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve any of them. He-

“Adrien?”

Her voice was soft - he could barely hear her over the television, even with the audio turned down to a low rumble so their friends wouldn’t be woken by it.

She was waiting on an answer.

“Yeah?”

“We’re all here for you. We love you.” His ears may have heard ‘we’, but his heart had heard the ‘I’ that was hidden beneath it.

She was braver than him. Her hand crossed the short distance between them and she intertwined their fingers.

The television became blurred as tears began to build, clouding his vision. He shook his head as he bit his lips to hold back a sob.

“I don’t- I don’t deserve- After everything-”

“You aren’t your father,” she said quietly but firmly. “You’ve proven yourself so, so much better than that.” Her thumb began to rub against the back of his hand. “We’re not going anywhere.”

She scooted closer to him. His arms wrapped around her waist, with his hands meeting up on her back, pressing her close to him as he buried his face into her shoulder as the tears that he’d been holding back for so long began to fall. He was worried he was holding her too tight, but she didn’t seem to mind at all.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said as she held him back and kissed the crown of his head.

[onthesandsofdreams]

The Actor In The App [3/?]

Pairing: Cassian x Jyn Rating: T Summary:  ‘Permission to send you something?’ Words: 1521 Notes: Celebrity AU Tagging: @mousedetective

Read @ AO3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1

It’s been a few days since the last conversation with Cassian, and Jyn finds herself both worried and on the edge. Every time her phone has rung, or vibrated, she has rushed to see if it’s him. And he has only sent her one message that read, ‘Will have a busy couple of days, sorry.’

And sure, she understands hard days at work. But for the first time it hits her how different Cassian and hers life it is. Her busy or hard include hot kitchens and sometimes tempers, writers block on top of that sometimes, too. But she has no idea what hard or busy days include for him. Sure, she’s heard about twelve to fourteen hour days, and those must be terrible… and oh. That’s probably it.

Fortunately, Cassian is a gentleman and sends her another text that reads, ‘Permission to send you something?’

She smiles, sure, they’re in a strange limbo of relationship right now, because she’s not quite sure she’s ready to call him her boyfriend. They haven’t even had a first day, goddamn it. But she’s sure he could send her whatever he wanted without her permission, but she’s touched at his respectfulness. ‘Sure. Thanks in advance.’ She sends back along with her address.

And Cassian doesn’t disappoint. A few days later, he sends her a large white bouquet of peonies, a favorite book of his, some expensive chocolate and a bottle of wine. She looks at the loot and she feels like she hasn’t felt since she was a teenager in the throes of a first love, she’s giddy with excitement. The flowers smell wonderful and she opts to use the fine vase she got from her mom and places them at her desk, the book goes to her bedside – it’s a poetry book, the wine to the small shelf she has for wine and alcohol bottles and the chocolates also join the book, after all, what better way to end the day than with a fine chocolate? She send a text, ‘Thank you, everything’s wonderful’.

Cassian’s reply comes surprisingly swift, ‘Enjoy, Jyn. Talk to you soon.’

‘Okay.’ She replies and stands there in her bedroom as she stares at her book and chocolates. But then stands and opts for doing more work on her book, and now, she has something pretty to look at when she can’t think of what to do. Now she was really eager to go on a date with Cassian. He wouldn’t disappoint, she was sure now.

A couple of days later, the message is, ‘I’m free now, can you video chat?’

‘Sure.’ She replies and before she opens up the video, she brushes her hair. Sure, he has seen her without much make up, but that doesn’t mean she has to be a complete slob and have her hair be a mess. Specially the mess it always gets after dance class.

“Hey Jyn,” Cassian’s smiling when she finally answers. “Did you liked my gift?”

“Yes,” she smiles back. “It was very thoughtful of you. The wine is delicious and please don’t get me started on the chocolates. Haven’t finished the book, though, but it’s lovely so far.”

If anything, Cassian’s smile widens and his eyes seem to sparkle, even on the screen. “Good, good! Listen, the filming nearly finishes, and I was wondering, since I’m going to be in New York afterward, would you like to meet in person?”

“Meet or go on a date?” She tilts her head, she would like to know what sort of meeting it will be, she has, after some pride in her and she would like to be dressed correctly for it.

“You don’t mince words, huh?” Cassian doesn’t seem bothered. “A date, miss Erso. I think I would very much like to take you on a date.”

She feels herself relax and her lips curl upwards, “Then yes, Mister Andor. I would actually like to be taken on a date.”

“Excellent!” Cassian beams at her. “Do you want to pick the place? Or do you want me to surprise you?”

“You know what? Surprise me. I would very much like to be surprised. I’m intrigued to see the places you like and think are date worthy.”

“Very well, then leave it up to me.”

“Any ideas how should I dress? I don’t want to show up in jeans to a dress sort of date.”

Cassian laughs, “How about this? I’ll plan the date, and make the necessary arrangements and when it’s all settled, I’ll let you know what sort of outfit it is.”

That sounds good to her, “Very well. I like that. I’d hate to ruin the date.”

“You could never ruin the date… not unless you showed up with a trail of papparazi behind you.”

She snorts, she doesn’t know anyone in the media, and even if she did, she’s not like that. “I would never.” And it’s true. She has never been one to watch gossip shows or read the magazines at the supermaket, it doesn’t interest her. She’s of the firm believer that people deserve their privacy. But she understand why Cassian would mention it. “But I get it. And rest easy, I don’t like other people up in my business either.”

“I believe you. You seem the kind of woman who’ll fight an army to keep her privacy.”

“That’s a surprisingly accurate read!”

“Well, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” She looks at him for a moment. He looks a bit tired. “Is the filming doing okay?”

“Yeah, just had a heavy week, but everything’s going well. Should have things wrapped in a couple of days, I want to be home a day or two before I take you out though, wouldn’t do for me to fall asleep in the middle of a date thanks to jet-lag.”

“That would suck. But glad the movie is nearly done.”

“Yeah, I’ll be taking six months off before I start to film another, so I’ll have some time to rest.”

“Yeah, you should. God, if I could take six months to rest at work that would be amazing.”

“You’d have time to finish your book?”

“Yes. But I even if I complain about my work, I like cooking. It’s a creative outlet for me too.”

“I imagine it is.”

“It has its ups and downs, but it’s a good fit for me. The same way movies might be for you.”

“I think so. There is something freeing in just letting other sides of you ‘come out and play’ if you will. I do in movies what I’d never do in real life.”

“Sounds fun. Must be quite liberating.”

“It is…” Cassian looks away at a knock. “Jyn, I gotta go, my assistant is calling for something. See you in person real soon.”

She nods. “Take care, and see you soon.”

“Likewise Jyn, bye.”

She remains looking at the screen even after he has to log off. There is something magnetic about Cassian that pulls her in. He seems so down to earth and not at all like the celebrity she had expected him to be. And now, she’s the lucky one that will go on a date with him.

That is the thought that startles her.

But she feels herself grin widely. She understands in that moment that he might be an actor, but he’s still a person. And she’s quite excited to see what makes him thick in person. She turns the computer off, she’s not in the mood to write tonight.

She makes her way back to her bedroom, she head straight for her wardrobe. She inspects every piece that hangs there and making mental notes to which ones she could still use for that date. She finds some  black jeans and her favorite leather jacket, she could get herself a nice blouse in case they went for a casual date.

But she needs a dress. The only one she has is a black one, but it’s more for clubs and dancing than a date. She’d have to shop, but for once in her life, she doesn’t mind. The excitement over the date is bigger than her usual dislike for shopping. Also, thank fuck for online shopping.

That in mind, she closes her wardrobe again rushes to the bath. It’s getting late and she needs a shower, she didn’t have the time before, but now, she does. The bath relaxes her a bit, but she’s still too excited to sleep, so she lays in bed, book in hand and reads until the words begin to blur.

Two days later, she receives a text from Cassian, it reads, ‘Casual. Let’s have fun.’

She smiles, and lets the wave of relief wash over her. Her dress will arrive soon, but still, she is happy at the thought of having the chance to meet him without any sort of pressure. Something fun and casual give a different sort of chance, she wants to see him be casual, not with the feel that he has to get it perfect at the first try. So she sends him, ‘Very well, let’s have fun.’

[charliejrogers]

Extra Ordinary (2020), definitely not ordinary, but not extraordinary

What’s your favorite Monty Python sketch? Is it the “Argument Clinic”? “The Spanish Inquisition”? “Fish Slapping”? These are all good… but it’s a trick question. The “Maths” episode of the short-lived but long-remembered series Look Around You is the ultimate example of British humor that Monty Python & co. so perfectly embodied. Look Around You presented each episode in the same style, feeling, and with the and production values of a cheap edutainment video from the 1980s/1990s, and they did it so faithfully that they were able to match an incredible deadpan delivery with even the most ridiculous shit (like suggesting that every pencil case should include a pencils, a pair of compasses, and a nebulous substance that could improve cognition when chewed – but could also confer “diarrhoea” -- referred to only as “Garry gum”).

I bring up my love for Look Around You because the very opening of the 2020 Irish comedy-horror-romance, Extra Ordinary, seems poised to breathe new life into edutainment / public access TV parody. The film starts with clips from a fictional television show called The Talents, a show shining a light on paranormal activity present in our world. It’s hosted by Vincent Dooley (Risteard Cooper) who is occasionally helped by his young daughter Rose. The clips from the show, peppered throughout various parts of the film, are, for me, the film’s highlights. They are simply the best outlets for the film’s brand of humor. The show-within-the-film allows the writers to be downright silly while still keeping a straight face. During these times, like when a clip from the show introduces “gloating” (or “goat floating”), the sheer ridiculousness of the show makes it clear that the movie’s in on the joke too.

The first fifteen or so minutes of the movie’s main plot do a great job of maintaining this tone. Once we exit the show clips and enter the present day, we see Rose, now an adult (Maeve Higgins), driving about town waving to spooky abandoned toasters. Rose is no longer the little girl from the show-within-the-movie. Instead, she’s now a grown, single woman haunted by a dark past which is only hinted at but we know involves “dadslaughtering,” as she puts it. She runs her own driving school, but everyone in her small Irish town still knows her as the ghost lady and therefore her voicemail is full of people leaving messages requesting her paranormal talents.

One such person requesting her services is our perfectly named male protagonist Martin Martin (Barry Ward). A milquetoast man, we meet him shaving in his bathroom when suddenly the words “You must pay” appear on his mirror. Slightly spooked, he closes the other half of his bathroom mirror to reveal the other half of the mirror-message, “your car tax!” This bathos continues the film’s self-aware, ironic tone. This is a man so thoroughly used to the abuse and nagging of his wife that now he doesn’t bat an eye when he gets the same treatment from her now, even though she’s a ghost. Martin’s daughter is less warm to her mother’s continued haunting presence. The story gets rolling when Martin’s teenage daughter gives her father an ultimatum: either he call the local ghostbuster to exorcise her mother from their home or she’s going to leave home for good. Reluctant to let go of his wife and but more reluctant to lose his daughter, Martin calls up with Rose Dooley to appease his daughter but has no intention of moving forward with the exorcism. He will simply pretend to need a driving lesson and then tell his daughter later that Rose refused to help.

The scene that follows is slightly unexpected: it’s a genuine rom-com meet-cute, as Martin is predictably awkward and not prone to being a good liar (since of course he already knows how to drive). But given the rest of the film’s tone it won’t surprise you that the chemistry that builds between the two protagonists is awkward, lurching, and not at all easy-going, but always a joy to watch. Eventually the two team up to do some ghostbusting which is the other highlight of the film. Every ghostbusting always involves Martin channeling a a ghost’s spirit, Rose talking with that spirit (through Martin) in order to resolve their issues, and then it ends with Martin puking up that ghost’s ectoplasm, something which is always grossly satisfying to watch. If this was the whole movie, just watching these two characters fall in love and do some ghostbusting, I would have been much more favorable to it.

Why I am ultimately slightly unfavorable towards it is due to the film’s third star and villain: Christian Winters, a talentless one-hit wonder from decades ago who is trying to use dark magic to stage his comeback. Martin’s daughter gets tangled up in Winters’ nefarious plan which is ultimately what forces Rose and Martin to team up to ghostbust in the first place. It’s not the plot here that I take issue with. It’s the character of Christian Winters, or (though it pains me to say) the performance of the character by Will Forte that marred this otherwise charming film. Forte is one of my favorite comic actors whose turn as a serious actor in 2013’s Nebraska will make him immortal in my eyes. But here in Extra Ordinary? He’s overplayed, hammy, and just doesn’t fit the tone. He feels like an SNL character transplanted into Monty Python skit. He lacks the subtlety and awareness that he’s in on the joke like the rest of the cast. Winters just sorta is a joke. His girlfriend is even worse. Whereas our protagonists are loveable, believable characters, she’s a nightmare of a self-absorbed woman. I guess whereas the rest of the movie has heart, the entire Christian Winters subplot does not.

And this sucks. Because I loved much of the rest of this movie. The romance between Martin and Rose is sweet and you really feel like you’re rooting for them. But Winters brings the wrong vibe to this otherwise charming film, and you can’t help but feel that were it not for the producers feeling like they needed a well-known actor in the role of Winters in order for the movie to sell, this movie would have been better served by a more low-key and unknown Irish actor like the film’s two leads. But what remains when you subtract out the Winters character is a charming movie with a unique tone that remains one of the sweetest and funniest rom-coms I’ve seen in recent memory.

**/ (Two and a half out of four stars)

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Why (most of) the 2010s Marvel legacy characters didn’t work

For Marvel characters I think it comes off as profoundly undermining when they get legacies, at least in the specific way Marvel attempted this throughout the 2010s.

To explain this we need to actually first look at DC’s characters in order to compare and contrast why legacies for them tend to work out better than they do for Marvel.

Simply put back in the 1930s-1950s (if not even later) DC’s characters were almost always created as powers first, people second. Wish fulfilment fantasy figures over flawed mere mortals.

Consequently you could legacy Green Lantern and the Flash in the 1950s and then do so again in the 1980s-1990s because so so long as you had a guy with a ring and another guy with super speed you were retaining the essence of both characters, the fundamental point and appeal of them.

But the Marvel characters were the other way around and practically deliberately designed to be so. 

Thor was the story of the life and times of Thor Odinson. Spider-Man was the story of the life and times of Peter Parker. The Fantastic Four was never the story about a brainiac who stretched, a girl who could go invisible, a kid who could burst into flame and a guy who looked like a rock monster. 

It was about a stern scientist obsessed with his work. A nurturing young woman who loved him but was frustrated by his tendency to get lost in his work. Her younger brother interested in sports cars, girls, excitement and other typically hot headed teenage endeavours. And an average Joe who was tortured and depressed that he was no longer human. 

Ben Grimm could’ve looked like any kind of monster and the central point of his character would have been retained. The F4′s specific powers, complemented their personalities, but they were not the driving point unto themselves. 

In contrast let us consider Captain America, probably the Marvel character who’s done the ‘replacement legacy hero’ storyline the most (at least within 616 canon). How comes he  lends himself so much better to this type of story than the other Marvel characters? 

Simple, because unlike most of the big name Marvel characters you know of, he wasn’t created in the 1960s or beyond. Cap was the product of the 1940s and was a peer to those same early days super heroes from the Golden Age, including the original Green Lantern and Flash. Like them he began fundamentally more as a symbol and powerset than a person. 

But now flashing forward to the 21st century many (most in my view) Flash fans were upset (and continue to be so) Wally West’s ascension to the Flash mantle was undermined and ultimately undone for the sake of restoring Barry Allan to the spotlight. The reason for this upset when Wally himself had replaced Barry? Wally had proven himself a far more flawed, nuanced and complex character than Barry had ever been. 

He demonstrated a degree of characterisation in the Flash role that Barry never had. It wasn’t even that he simply had more of this than Barry, but that Barry, just like Jay Garrick preceding him, had little to speak of in the first place. Thus the contrast between Jay and Barry was mostly superficial but the contrast between Barry and Wally was as stark as comparing Spider-Man to 1950s Superman.*

But Wally West, and the entire DC Universe from Post-Crisis onwards in fact, were in that mould precisely because they were trying to be more like Marvel comics has been since the 1960s onwards. 

DC in effect began prioritising the people beneath the costumes over the powers.** But Marvel starting in the 1960s had pretty much always been like that with their heroes.

Consequently when legacies popped up and those new characters were pushed as being just as good, just as worthy, or (in some cases) lowkey pushed as being better  than their predecessors it naturally rubbed those fans with decades of emotional investment the wrong way. OBVIOUSLY  a woman or a POC can be just as worthy and just as capable as a man or a white person as a superhero. But series to series, character to character, it was almost like Marvel was taking away your beloved pet.

Imagine for a moment you had a pet named Rex that you’d known and loved for years. 

Then Marvel insisted on taking Rex away from you when there was nothing wrong with him. In his place they give you another clearly different pet with Rex’s collar, who gets Rex’s bowl, Rex’s food, Rex’s toys, Rex’s bed and even Rex’s name and asks you to treat them not as just a new dog but straight up the new Rex.

Except he isn’t Rex. Rex is Rex. The ‘new Rex’ playing with Rex’s toys, doing the same tricks as him or having his collar doesn’t change that.*** 

Because Rex was more than a collar, his toys or his tricks. He was an individual that you’d known and loved. And even if you know Rex is going to come back ‘eventually’ having Rex taken away from you at all, having the new Rex supplant them (especially if old Rex was screwed over for the sake of new Rex’s arrival) and having so many people insist new Rex is just as great or more great than old Rex (to the point where many people loudly proclaim they don’t even want the old Rex back and the old Rex was kinda lame and boring) is going to create a massive dissonance. Maybe you would’ve been chill with the new Rex is he was just another additional pet called Rover or even like RexY who was similar yet different to Rex, but not actually promoted AS Rex or as his replacement. 

Maybe you would’ve been okay with the new Rex if the old one got too old, died naturally or accidentally. But you aren’t okay with it because there was nothing wrong with Rex, you LOVED Rex and Rex had been with you and been around generally forever. So the new Rex felt like he was undermining him, especially undermining Rex’s individuality. 

That’s how I think most Marvel fans felt about practically EVERY legacy situation that’s ever cropped up from the 1960s onwards, not even the ones just from the 2010s. I remember  the outrage when Bucky was announced as the new Cap. I know there were people salty about Eric Masterson as Thor and the Spider-Man Clone Saga speaks for itself.

Compounding the situation is that more than a few media outlets (despite imo not representing the feeling’s of the majority at all) promoted (and in some cases still promote) the new characters as not just better than they are (see the dozen or so lists talking about how great Riri allegedly was) but along with many fans tear down the older characters whilst doing so. 

See every article ever talking about why Peter Parker in the movies (and sometimes in the comics) NEEDS to die for the sake of Miles becoming the new Spider-Man in spite of their rationales rarely making sense from a creative/financial POV and utilizing misrepresentations of both characters to varying degrees. Even fans that appreciate the social/political relevancy of the new characters are going to naturally be upset in response to that and angrily voice opposition when the character they love gets dragged through the mud like that. And that then gets exacerbated when they are labelled as bigots for feeling upset by the changes or reacting against the character they love being dragged through the mud.**** 

Especially considering they would’ve reacted the same way regardless of who was the replacement hero.  Again, fans at first didn’t take kindly to John Walker or Bucky as the new Captain Americas so the idea that backlash against Sam Wilson was entirely or primarily racist was itself profoundly ignorant. Especially when you consider black reviewers such as those on the Hooded Utalitarian were calling it out as bad storytelling and bad representation for black people. SpaceTwinks went issue by issue through Spencer’s Sam Wilson run and called it out as racist, ignorant and naive. NONE of which is me saying that there isn’t more than a little bigotry going around detractors of these new characters nor that there aren’t obviously bad actors.

But those people did not and do not represent the majority and framing the situation as though they do is disingenuous and highly unethical. In conclusion, the backlash against the 2010s Marvel legacy characters was entirely natural, understandable and for the vast majority came from a place of love for the original characters not a bigoted hatred for the new characters skin colour or sex. 

It was a testament to Marvel’s, and the wider media, misunderstanding the psychology of most comic book fans. 

P.S. In regards to that, though it isn’t exactly talking about what I’ve spoken about I’d highly recommend checking out this video which touches upon the disenchantment Star Wars fans felt over the Sequel Trilogy, which itself could be viewed as doing the same thing Marvel did with it’s replacement legacy characters.

P.P.S. The reason I think the likes of Miles Morales or Kamala Khan succeeded where others failed is chiefly due to their rise to the role of legacy replacements stemmed from their predecessors not  being sidelined for their rise to the spotlight. Miles never ever replaced the 616 version of Peter Parker, widely considered by most fans and Marvel internally as the true and legitimate version of the character. Kamala Khan meanwhile picked up the Ms. Marvel only when Carol Danvers discarded it and became Captain Marvel. She was still in the spotlight in her own right, Kamala simply got her own spotlight using Carol’s obsolete name. Which isn’t all that dissimilar to fan favourite Cassandra Cain’s rise to the Batgirl mantle now I think about it.

P.P.P.S. A possible counter argument to all I’ve said is the success of the Superior Spider-Man/Otto Octavius. After all why was he embraced when Sam Wilson and Jane Foster wasn’t? Was a double standard rooted in bigotry at play?

No, but the answer isn’t neat and simple.

I think Ock as the new Spider-Man was more embraced partially because Ock had been around essentially as long as Spidey himself. But more poignantly  pre-Superior Spider-Man was so atrocious that a sizzling and sexy idea like Superior (which generated tons of cheap novelty) felt utterly refreshing, even to people who had actually LIKED pre-Superior Spidey under Slott. It’s like how people praised the early Big Time stories despite their problems because compared to BND they were genuinely better.

Plus Superior, for all it’s god forsaken writing, didn’t exist to clearly workshop potential movie ideas or chiefly in aid of a social/political cause. Someone can agree that there should be more black or female superheroes but disagree that the older characters should be sidelined in the attempt to achieve that.

Especially when there were better alternative options such as introducing those newer characters within and alongside the established hero’s narrative or simply introduce them independently as has happened recently with the likes of Lunar Snow.

*This is also why I suspect Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman survived from the Golden Age into the Silver Age. Because they were the DC characters who (more than any of the other ones) had actual personalities/substance to them. **Of course this didn’t begin wholesale with the post-Crisis era. But noticeably the characters who had worked with this new shift in priorities prior to Crisis on Infinite Earths stayed generally the same thereafter (E.g. the Titans, Batman) whilst characters who had largely vacillated or struggled (e.g. Superman and Wonder Woman) were given fresh starts which proved critically and financially successful.  

***Not even if he does everything just as well as Rex did or does some stuff differently that’s still good (although the overwhelming majority of the time new Rex is clearly not as good as the old Rex).

****I’ve seen people be called racist and misogynists for calling out Riri Williams honestly ridiculous degree of competency as a hero/tech genius in spite of her age. This is not an invalid criticism, yet disliking the character because of those reasons is grounds to be labelled as something ugly by another (imo minor yet also vocal) contingent of fandom. 

Hell I was called a Trump supporting Breitbart reading bigot for calling out Marvel as two-faced due to never putting a black writer in charge of Sam Wilson as Captain America or a woman in charge of Jane Foster as Thor. It isn’t exclusive to comics either as I and other people have been accused of racism/misogyny for disliking the Last Jedi in spite of that film to my eyes being itself racist and sexist anyway.

[noramoya]

“When I was 11 years old my art teacher drummed into the class the mantra, “draw what you see, not what you think you see”. An interesting, yet ironically simplistic point that requires you to look intensively to find the finer details and not interpret something to suit your capabilities. While my art abilities aren’t exactly stellar, I have never forgotten this notion and how relevant it is to so many aspects of life in which it’s important to really look and study something and not just come to your own conclusion. When it comes to the Jackson’s allegations, there’s a lot of ‘thinking’ that takes place – “I think he might have…”, “I think this song means…”, “I think he was…” – And yet, thinking isn’t required. You just need to look intensively at what’s there, not what you might think is there...

SO, ASIDE FROM THE HEAR-SAY AND HOOPLA, WHAT IS THERE ?!

There are accusations against Jackson, there is the fact that no charges were brought against Jackson in the criminal case in 1993 (the settling of the civil suit had no impact on this), a verdict from the 2005 trial which deemed Jackson not guilty on all [14] counts and, then, there is an array of material that can thoroughly disprove the fundamentals of the accusations against him. There’s not really a grey area. The FBI had no issue concluding the same, after a 10-year investigation. Yes, there are certain things that appear unconventional – but not criminal, and these are also very clear points when understood properly and in context.

A common reply to these points is “well I believe that…” – the wonderful thing about a fact is that you don’t need to apply your own sense of belief. A fact is a fact. The heavy lifting has been done for you. That’s usually further met with “Well, I’m entitled to my opinion” – Sure, but when a fact renders your opinion null and void and can prove you wrong, if you’re insistent on sticking with your ‘opinion’ anyway, then this is not a discussion that’s being had on an intellectual level. In the absence of research, Jackson’s public battering has taken place largely on the idea that “because I said so” is all that is required to make a judgement. In a climate that seeks to convict on word alone, the allegations against Jackson are prime and none was so evident than in Leaving Neverland, a movie where two men and their families told a series of stories that on closer inspection, appear embellished, inaccurate or completely untrue. It was believed in its totality in spite of evidence proving otherwise. And yet, there remains this frankly bizarre idea that ‘Leaving Neverland’ must not be challenged !

WHY ?!!

Surely discovering it’s not truthful wouldn’t undermine the concept of a documentary and create a distrust in the industry? Surely discovering it’s not truthful wouldn’t be damaging for victims of sexual abuse? Surely discovering its not truthful wouldn’t impact the multi-million dollar lawsuit Robson and Safechuck have taken out against the Jackson Estate.

SURELY, SURELY, SURELY...

But, as long as we just ‘believe’, everything we’re told and dare not challenge the narrative pushed out by the powerhouses behind ‘Leaving Neverland’, then we can deem ourselves experts, without a single piece of evidence to the contrary. Welcome to the dawn of a new-old age!

The problem with ‘belief’ is, at what point is it not enough? At what point must somebody stand up and say, “I need to validate this.”? And, while some would rather we live in Salem 1693, where we point, accuse and burn at the stake; we do need to validate claims. It’s part of existing in a civilised society. And seeking to validate what’s being said doesn’t make you an ‘apologist’ or a ‘truther’ – that’s dictatorial language. While it’s fundamental we listen to accusations of abuse to determine the outcome, it’s frankly dangerous to replace ‘listen’ with ‘belief’. It’s also perplexing that, in 2020, this still needs to be explained.

Someone said to me “But I’d rather believe a potential liar, than support a potential rapist.” And therein lies the problem – that many would rather consider what’s going to make themselves look better in the long run. They feel that backing a ‘liar’ would offer better redemption in the face of public opinion – seemingly saying ‘we can all identify with the concept of lying so it’s easier to digest if we’re proved wrong’. But, this isn’t about saving face for you – this is about truth.

When Leaving Neverland dropped in early 2019, many looked to the Jackson Estate for some sort of rebuttal. The Estate was quick to launch a $100 million lawsuit against HBO, citing a breach of contract for the 1992 agreement the network had to screen Jackson’s Dangerous World Tour. The unprecedented figure ensured the story made major headlines around the world while firing a warning shot to other networks who consider doing the same thing.

While the Estate has insisted they’re working behind the scenes on damage control, there was a notable lack of anything in the mainstream that would help the public balance the negativity. Taj Jackson launched a crowd funder with the premise of setting the record straight and while that will no doubt serve as something that will be a staple in the fight against injustice when it comes out, something was needed immediately.

Earlier in 2019, Danny Wu had produced a YouTube video discussing the accusations put forward in ‘Leaving Neverland’ and made mention of a new witness who had previously moved in the same circles as Jackson’s first accuser. The witness happened to be Josephine Zhony, a public relations specialist who had several interacts with accuser Jordan Chandler, years after his family accused Michael Jackson of child abuse.

Initially planned as a one-on-one interview with Zhony, Wu had no intention of making a documentary. “I was in a very unique position where I was able to interview a witness who had never told her story before,” said Wu. “I realised along the process that a one on one interview was not going to be enough, it would mean a lot for the fans, but for the neutrals, it was not going to be enough. Around the time there were a series of short YouTube documentaries that were very well made, I just thought, why not take it to the next level, why not make a feature-length documentary?”

What was interesting about Wu’s approach is in the idea that “Square One” was not an ‘answer’ to ‘Leaving Neverland’, it was about going back to the source of the accusations to help understand why Jackson has been continually tied to such claims. What it demonstrates is how people are far more susceptible to the idea of Jackson being an abuser, because they keep hearing it. It’s known scientifically as the ‘Illusory Truth Effect’, which is a tendency to believe false information as correct, after repeated exposures. After over 20 years of repeated exposure, anyone coming forward with new claims against Jackson knows they are doing so, under pre-emptive conditions.

So, with “Square One’s” position, if circumstances and fact can, at the very least, create doubt upon those initial accusations, then the rest should also be viewed under scrutiny. Because”Square One” does not, emphatically or boldly, suggest Michael Jackson is innocent. It simply presents the facts of the case which allows the viewer to reach their own conclusion. And that’s exactly why we’re seeing viewers in their droves affirm their belief in Jackson’s innocence. They can see facts, they can comprehend the timeline and better still, all the information presented is information they can go and locate for themselves. There is no smoke and mirrors. There are no discrepancies in Jackson’s whereabouts. There are no claims made in buildings that didn’t exist.

It doesn’t need to force the viewer to accept Jackson’s innocence; it just needs them to comprehend the facts, which ultimately points to Jackson’s innocence. Unlike ‘Leaving Neverland’, which relies on a cognitive bias to run its narrative.

While ‘Leaving Neverland’ came in like a hurricane, attempting to destroy everything in its path,”Square One” is a quiet storm. Of its own volition, it reached number one on Amazon Prime’s documentary chart. “The goal from the very beginning was always to end up on a platform like Amazon Prime or a video-on-demand platform,” says Wu. “By the time I released the trailer, I had prematurely put out the YouTube release date. When I was in London, I met someone who worked in film and he said if I wanted to get it on Prime, I’d need to take it off of Youtube one day and that was something I really didn’t want to do. But, we made a more polished version of “Square One” with some changes and submitted it to Amazon Prime and luckily, that was the easy part. To see the success it’s had now, that’s the mind-blowing part.”

With its new home on Amazon Prime, “Square One” is finally reaching more people and, when compared to ‘Leaving Neverland’, it is really a story of David Vs Goliath. “Square One” was made by an independent filmmaker, on a shoestring budget, with no media or mainstream backing and found its way onto Amazon Prime, through Wu’s commitment to what he created. Whereas ‘Leaving Neverland’ had the financial backing of two massive corporations in the UK & U.S, prime time programming slots, Extensive PR agency support, mainstream media private screenings, and a Sundance premiere. It was further supported by interviews on all major news outlets, a post-movie special and buy-in from major entertainment industry figures. Its director bounced from channel to channel making false and inflated claims as if he was also one of Jackson’s accusers while suggesting the Jackson Estate were a powerful entity to be reckoned with. It’s fundamentally flawed to suggest the Jackson Estate are ‘powerful’ and ‘merciless’ in dealing with these accusations when ‘Leaving Neverland’ used the power and money of the aforementioned networks to bring the majority of the mainstream media to heel. And anyone who dared suggest the movie was anything other than truthful in its entirety was shut down, dismissed and silenced. That’s the power ‘Leaving Neverland’ wielded. Yet, it is now referred to as an ‘award winner’, as the giants behind HBO and Channel 4 evidently threw their weight, PR agencies and most likely their cash, to ensure a ‘win’. It won an award for ‘editing’ despite continuation issues set 17 months apart and having been exposed for manipulating footage to appear damning.

By contrast, “Square One” hasn’t received or purchased any awards because the truth doesn’t seek a glorified door-stop to stick on the mantelpiece. It’s as if nothing says “healing” quite like the constant reminder of your “experiences”, sitting above the fireplace in your lounge! If that does not demonstrate the intent of ‘Leaving Neverland’ to those who refuse to read a court transcript, then ultimately nothing will.

“Square One’s success lies in the fact it managed to achieve its listing and growing acknowledgement without buying its way into all forms of media. Like a well-constructed documentary, it relies on facts through an in-depth timeline, supported by research, key accounts and first-class journalism. It doesn’t leave anything out in favour of what would appear more convincing and it doesn’t attempt to manipulate the viewer – it just presents you with the facts. While Wu’s tactic could have been to present account after account of former Jackson friends and associates looking emotionally into the camera and regaling the viewer with tales of Jackson’s generosity and friendship; he rightly chose to spare us the emotional manipulation in favour of simply presenting the case and – here’s the best part – it can all be backed up with evidence. Which is ultimately why it continues to inspire social media statements from individuals reversing their opinion having now seen both. It provided the crucial part of the discussion that was needed, something ‘Leaving Neverland’ deliberately chose to omit – balance.

In the year since, so much has come out to disprove so many of the allegations, yet in a race to the top, it’s astonishing to me that not a single top-level journalist from a leading media outlet has thought to crack open ‘Leaving Neverland’ and address the 60+ discrepancies in the movie. It could be an award-winning story, based on research and facts, not opinion. What are they afraid of? Or, more importantly, who is preventing them? It’s also fundamental to notice that while claiming to have integrity, no mainstream journalist gave the same effort, attention or merit to “Square One”. Where was the coverage from Good Morning America? NME? Sky? CNN? TEN? All were so keen to discuss Jackson in detail just months prior, yet on the rise of “Square One”, again silence. It’s glaringly obvious Jackson is only a good topic when a lean towards guilt is central to the discussion, not a fully researched, fact-based documentary which highlights the truth behind the years of allegations.

Any mainstream journalist who gave ‘Leaving Neverland’ its 5 minutes but refuses to do the same for “Square One” is demonstrating their bias and refusal to really look into the case. And it’s somewhat understandable. If you were somebody who sat and invested four hours in a movie that reduced you to tears or invoked repulsion, admitting that you have been duped is something that many lack the will-power to acknowledge.

Instead, they’ve developed this frankly bizarre concept of ‘separating the art from the artist’ in an attempt to appear to approach the debate on an intellectual level, when in actuality it was nothing more than trying to want the best of both worlds. Those pushing this ideology wanted to be able to throw up their zombie hands to Thriller on Halloween safe in the knowledge they’d convinced others it was ok to do so because we’re enjoying ‘the art, not the artist’.

IT’S RIDICULOUS .

Anyone who thinks you could take Michael Jackson out of Thriller is probably already aboard a sailboat looking for the edge of flat earth!

If you truly believed that Michael was guilty of such heinous and monstrous things, why on earth (round, not flat) would you want to still listen to his music? And this is something Jackson’s fans have been saying all along. They don’t defend him because they ‘like his music’; the music doesn’t even come into the discussion of the accusations against Jackson, it has absolutely no weight in building the facts and evidence in the case. The major challenge “Square One”, and indeed Jackson’s Estate face is entering the battle of feelings with cold hard facts. And that doesn’t make you popular. Nobody wants to be the person telling a crying athlete who lost the race, “Sorry, but the fact is, you just weren’t fast enough!” But with allegations as serious as these, how the movie made you ‘feel’ is redundant, especially when the accused is not here to defend themselves. A quick look across much of the coverage from ‘Leaving Neverland’ was self-important op-ed pieces about how the journalist was made to ‘feel’ based on what they’d been told and not what the facts were. After all, telling your audience you’re seeking $1.6 billion from the Jackson Estate is not going to have audiences crying and marching to twitter to express their distress.

So what happens next? In the year since the release, there have been requests from the Jackson fan community for Wu to follow up “Square One” with another documentary – a question I put to Wu who insisted “I’m always very flattered when fans tweet me asking for a “Square One – Part 2”, it warms my heart that the fans place so much trust in me to do something like that, but in my opinion what makes “Square One” so special is, it’s not a rebuttal documentary and it’s not a counter documentary. We tell our own story, so I think that’s one of the reasons it has resonated with neutrals so much – it’s not been told before.” And Wu is right. Whereas ‘Leaving Neverland’ treated the public like geese being forced fed to make foie gras, “Square One” gently nudges the viewer on to the path where they suddenly realise the entire misconception they’ve been exposed to all this time. To force-feed them with yet another documentary would start to feel like agenda pushing. Additionally, Wu explains that, as an ambitious filmmaker, he’s keen to explore other topics outside of the Jackson realm and develop his craft. Asked what he sees as the legacy of “Square One”, Wu points to the change in the way we view and consume media, “we don’t have to listen to the same select voices of the news” he states “if you want to make a change and tell your story, there is an opportunity.” Additionally, he acknowledges the sheer organic force behind “Square One’s” elevation “the fans who sacrifice their time spreading the film through word of mouth, the individuals who translated “Square One” to include different subtitles, journalists who stood behind the film, the cast who stakes their career reputation to tell their stories, my two incredible associate producers who have dedicated months to researching, the legacy is theirs. They are the legacy.”

However, the most important point Wu shared, as we look at the enormous task “Square One” has taken on, was in its ability to break through the mainstream: “I would like it to be remembered for the impact that a micro-budget documentary film can have in one of the most gatekept industries.”

PEZ JAX (left) @Pezjax, on Twitter. DANNY WU (right) @dannywuyue, on Twitter.

[cinnbar-bun]

RFA + V+ Saeran Acting As a Guardian to Teenage! MC

A/n: Have some headcanons to soothe the pain I just caused

Under the cut since it’s a long one! MC is about 16 in this one!

Also: might include some spoilers!!!

Yoosung

Finally, he wasn’t the youngest anymore! 

He was so excited to meet you and honestly he was all sunshine and rainbows as he talked about how you were like a little sibling to him

So gushing and doting, he’s more of an older sibling than a parental figure, but he still does it so well

Always brags to his guildmates he has the best sibling ever, and he will fight (and lose horribly) to anyone who tries to say otherwise

Very concerned over you since you’re so young and caught up in the RFA’s mishaps. 

So proud of anything you do, even getting out of bed makes him cheer for you

Always cooks for you, anything you want, he’ll make for you. 

He won’t admit it until he’s at his worst- when the depression and the grief from losing Rika really gets to him- but he looks up to you. He kinda gets jealous of how young and talented you are (even if you don’t think so), and wishes to become better so you have someone actually worthwhile to look up to (in his mind). 

He doesn’t seem to think that you like him, he still assumes he’s a bit of a nuisance and someone else could be better. You however, love him a lot and value his presence in your life. You don’t think you would’ve been as motivated without his help!

Sometimes he can get a bit irresponsible and you need to drag his butt to bed so he doesn’t game so much. 

Taking care of you has been a roller coaster for both of you, but he still feels a lot better since you’re here. He has cut down on his bad habits and has slowly grown from his past issues. 

If you talk about how you’re going on a date, he’ll cry. 

“Waaaaaahhhhhh!!! How are you going on dates before I am????” 

He’s supportive though, and makes sure your date actually cares for you. Probably the only one on this list you don’t have to worry about when saying you’re seeing someone

Zen

Okay so the first moment you met him on the messenger, you flipped out. 

“ZEN??? AS IN THE ZEN???? JDSFJNAJGNLSJN OH MY GOD CAN YOU STEP ON ME?????”

Jaehee also feels you but outwardly tells you to relax

He goes full on dad mode. He immediately checks himself and everyone else, anything above a ‘g’ rating and he’s flipping out. No more flirting, no more swearing, no more smoking, he’s gotta be a father figure somehow.

Once he cools down, he finds that his paternal instincts come naturally. He is very easy to talk to and is easily your biggest supporter. He wants you to feel confident in yourself and see that he’s got your back no matter what happens, something he didn’t have growing up. 

If you say you wanna act or join theater (especially if it’s because of him) he’ll just cry. He’ll sob about how his ‘child’ is the most precious thing in the world. 

He’s a straight up PTA dad afterwards, always going to your school when he can and checking up on you. 

All the mothers and teachers try to hit on him but he ignores them because his shining little star is there

He goes to all of your shows, all of your concerts, ANYTHING that involves potentially watching you do something, he is there in a second. 

After anything, whether you give a speech or a finished a performance, he’s there with a large bouquet of flowers. He’s so proud of you and he feels so enthusiastic about you. 

His narcissism drops about 200% because now he’s focused on you. His phone is full of pictures of you and your accomplishments, and after anything he makes sure to say it in the RFA messenger. 

He’s really easy to have a heart to heart with because you’re his precious little angel and he’s just as (if not more) emotional as you. 

HOWEVER!!! DO NOT!! I REPEAT!!! DO NOT MENTION DATING!!! THIS MAN WILL GO WALK UP TO WHOEVER YOU LIKE/DATING AND WILL GO INTO A FISTFIGHT WITH THEM. 

He screams when you mention guys- ‘MEN ARE WOLVES!! THEY ARE HORRIBLE!! THEY ARE DISGUSTING DO NOT EVER DATE!! YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO DATE UNTIL IM DEAD AND YOURE 80!!’

Jumin

So, let’s cut to the chase, you REEALLy liked the fact Jumin was rich. 

“Wow, so I DON’T have to starve everyday???” 

Jumin is...not the most emotional at first. He is just getting used to having to take care of you so it will be a while before he opens up. 

Jumin is great for when you want to rant or need to blow off steam. He doesn’t say anything and just listens to you. However, it’s horrible when you want emotional/physical comfort. 

He tries, he really does, but since he grew up so detached with his emotions he immediately thinks you’re dramatic. It isn’t until Jaehee (and perhaps Zen too) step in and say how he can’t keep brushing off your feelings 

So, he decides to try even harder and understand the enigma that is a teenage mind. 

It’s difficult as shit

After a while, he begins to learn all your cues and patterns, and understands what you want when you need it. He can read you like an open book now and knows when he should give you space or step in and comfort you. 

He’s actually really good at it 

He is always pampering you to the extreme. You watch tv and muse, “cool... there’s a new video game out.” and forget moments later, he immediately walks in with over a hundred games and pre-ordered, deluxe gold editions of them. 

He is the prime example of a father figure at this point, and all your friends get jealous.

He only gives you the best and will settle for nothing less. You are practically his own child at this point and like HELL is he gonna give you anything he discerns as not worthy. 

He likes taking you out for nice strolls after you beg ask for you two to hang out. You always get excited at seeing a simple cafe or mannequin with a cute outfit, and he wonders at how nice it must be to be so innocent

Plenty of outlets had contacted him about you, but he makes sure your privacy is secure. He doesn’t want anyone taking advantage of you or getting too personal

But they do manage to capture snippets of you two walking, and some misunderstandings have occurred due to it

“Jumin Han is dating a minor!” 

“Jumin Han has child after affair with mistress!” 

He gets fed up with the rumors and explains right away that you are NOT his lover, and you are NOT his actual child. He lies and says you were the child of a good friend of his, because explaining what actually happened would be weird

He is one of the worst when you say you’re dating someone. He will hound his security guards to watch EVERYTHING you to do, and he WILL have 707 do a background check on whoever you are going out with. 

“What are they doing?” “Uhhh...they’re eating.” “What about now?” “Still eating sir.” “Are his hands visible?” “Yes sir, he’s using them to eat a burger.” “B-burger? Where are they at?!” “McDonald’s sir...” “What kind of lousy date is this, why did (Y/n) accept this, does he think he’s good enough for my child with his peasant lifestyle???” “Sir...they’re 16????” 

All in all, he’s trying to be a good father figure and guardian that he never really had growing up. But he’s so prideful at seeing how much you mature, and even though he’s blunt sometimes, he hopes you understand he loves you a lot. 

He also tries dad jokes, but they’re so weird because obviously he rehearsed it and he says it so stoically that it makes it even funnies. 

Jaehee

Jaehee is a sweet woman, and she is like your best friend and mother rolled into one. 

She is so caring and considerate of your feelings, and is your number one supporter. 

She may seem kinda stand-offish, and kind of annoyed because she’s already incredibly busy now she has to take care of someone else and-

Whoops now she’s in the PTA and runs it like a damn boss. She is all over your studies and fights the faculty if she feels the school is not running in tip top shape. 

She gets exhausted a lot, as Jumin isn’t exactly the easiest boss to work for. 

It was kind of hard at first, sometimes she wouldn’t come home until way after midnight, and she’d see your body passed out on the couch with a note on the table about how you tried to make her dinner. 

Even though it wasn’t the best, knowing you tried so hard to stay up for her as well as cooking for her made the food taste even better than anything a five star restaurant could have made. 

So she tries to make it up to you in any way she can. She’ll pick you up your favorite movie or snack on her way home, or even little cute gifts that reminded her of you. 

She writes down any information she knows about you, and makes sure to write about your friends and teachers so she can keep up with you. 

She gushes about Zen a lot, and you were a fan too, so you both would binge watch his movies and clips of him. ANY piece of media involving Zen was devoured by you two. 

You two were constantly picking each other up and giving gifts, and when it was Jaehee’s birthday, you wrote her a letter about how much she meant to you and even got Zen to sign a poster for her! 

It was also the first time you called her ‘mom’, and even though the Zen poster is proudly hung up in her office, she can’t help but smile at how you called her that. 

She is a huge advocate of following your dreams. She does complain about how awful it is to work for Jumin sometimes, so she hopes to god you do something you love. 

You also convinced her to start her own cafe! You helped her as much as you could, and she was just...so ecstatic. 

Jaehee is easy to talk to, she is always prepared with good advice and comforting words. 

Probably the second easiest to talk to about dating. She is hesitant at first because one, you’re young and stupid, and two, she just doesn’t trust people. 

707/ Saeyoung

Okay, everyone in the RFA was hesitant to allow him to take care of you. They trusted him when it came to his work, but this was an actual human being. He could hardly take care of himself, how would he even take care of you???

Surprisingly, he’s an awesome guardian

A lot of them didn’t believe it at first and they were like ‘blink twice if he isn’t feeding you’ but you shrug and insist he’s great

He’s very nurturing and protective of you, and he sort of sees this as a second chance to make up for when he couldn’t help his brother. 

He’s really good in the fact that he’ll allow you your space to grow, but he will step in if you’re out of line or in trouble

Will NOT hesitate to ruin someone’s life if they dare hurt you. He’s got connections and the prowess and like hell is someone gonna make his child cry. 

Saeyoung is still as corny and crazy as he is in the chatroom, but in these instances with you, he means it a lot. He does anything he can to make you smile, even if it means he’d get hurt. 

He is a lot calmer though with you, and his parental instincts kick in a lot more. The RFA was shocked to see him actually change some of his poor quality of life skills as a means to be a better guardian to you. 

When he needs to go on a mission, he entrusts Jumin or Vanderwood to take care of you. 

He never tells you about those dangerous missions, he only says he’s going to be at a conference out of the country. 

He always makes sure to get you a souvenir or gift when he comes back from those trips. 

Joy rides in his cars!! He loves to take you to the beach or sightseeing whenever he can. 

He stills eats poorly, but it really makes him melt when you offer him some dinner you cooked for him. He started screaming and Yoosung (who was on the other end of the phone call) felt his ears bleed. 

He gets so excited for your cooking, like he stops his work just to take a bite of your grub. 

He hacks to get movies that weren’t even released to the public yet so you both could watch it on your downtime. He’s a hardcore softie though and you still have yet to see him shut up or not sob all over you as you two watch. 

“You’re getting snot on me!!!” “I’M sorry it’s just....oh my god how could this even happen??????” 

You accidentally called him ‘dad’ one time and he lost it. He was jumping for joy and hugging you in a death grip, screaming, “IM A FATHER!!!!!” 

Oh and he will definitely not pass up the opportunity to make some Star Wars references. 

You can’t hide anything from him. He tries to not be snoopy but holy shit you did not know just how far he’d go when it came to keeping tabs on you. 

By the time he was done he knew the name of your first grade crush, an incident where you kicked your own self, and how old you were when you got your first cavity. 

Likewise, he will already know if you’re crushing/dating someone. He’ll pretend he doesn’t know, but secretly do a background check. 

OKay so this definitely happened on your first date out with your crush, you two went out for milkshakes when your phone started sounding like Saeyoung’s voice. 

“HEY YOUNG MAN BOTH HANDS ON THE TABLE NOW!!!” 

You both started SCREAMING and had to be told to shut up by the staff because what the hell, your phone was talking! 

You screamed at him later on to mind his damn business

And god help whoever you were dating if they hurt you. 

This man will go ballistic and start hacking their things like a crazy psycho

“DONT WORRY, GOD SEVEN WILL FIX THIS!!!!” 

But seriously, this man adores you to the bottom of his heart. He’s made many mistakes in the past, but you will sure as hell not be another one of them. Anything you ask of him, he’ll gladly do!

V

V is a great guardian for those who don’t like pressure or stress. He’s so soothing and relaxing.

Hardly will ever raise his voice at you, and he practically never gets angry at you

He can’t see that well, but he seems to have a sixth sense that just makes him know where you are and when you are in danger. 

He likes taking you out to more scenic ventures, maybe even get you into photography as well!!

He has so many pictures of you, you are like his favorite subject

He even made an exhibit just based on you, and after that, he got a lot of calls about who you were. He made sure they know that you are basically his child

He feels incredibly guilty you had to go through this whole mess. He really wishes nothing bad would happen and you just didn’t have to get involved, but you always encourage him and say you don’t mind, you met him because of it!

He melts and cries a bit later on

If you call him ‘dad’ he gets so happy, like he finally feels like he actually did something right for once

But occasionally he doubts himself and can get kinda stand-offish in fear of how he might hurt you later on

He doesn’t make the same mistakes this time, and he makes sure you can get the help you need. He’s not gonna allow you to hurt yourself or others, and he won’t enable negative behaviors. 

He doesn’t talk about Rika to you. That was one of the worst moments in his life, and he thinks you’ll hate him because of it. 

You don’t- and he wonders what he did to deserve you

V is not an idiot. He may be partially blind but oh honey, he WILL know if you are dating someone. Don’t ask how, he does. 

He’s chill about it, but makes sure you understand what you are getting into. He’ll sit you down and start questioning you or your date’s intentions

It’s a side effect from his past with Rika, he doesn’t want you hurt, nor does he want you to hurt someone else. 

He makes you have clear and concise boundaries

He’ll let you do as you please, just please, for everything holy in this world, let him know where you are and be back before 10. 

If you get into a bad breakup he’s there to comfort you but also calls 707 to use his special skillset

I feel like V would use a lot of dad jokes. Like he doesn’t even know where it comes from and he’ll just say one, and 707 flips out.

Overall, just a calm dude who really loves you a lot. You’re allowed to grow and be your own person, but within some boundaries. He’ll stop at nothing to keep your smile. 

Unknown/ Saeran

Okay so... he feels weird. You’re a child. A damn child. 

He gets very conflicted because he gets flashbacks of how he was taken at a young age

He starts off as incredibly scary, staring you down to make you fear for your life, but you notice right away he’s become...softer

If anything, now he feels guilty. You were nice to him, even though he did all these things to you...

Saeran becomes a guard dog to you, watching over you like a hawk. 

As thanks, sometimes you would make him sweets

He loves them a lot, they’re now his favorite things

Pretty soon, a friendship begins to form, and then a feeling of guardianship over you. 

He’s noticeably a lot nicer and softer to you, he’ll be cussing out his brother in one moment but then if you ask him for something, he’ll stop and bend down to your level and answer you. 

Saeyoung finds this incredibly hilarious and nice

Saeran feels a lot better having you around. He feels a lot safer and happier, and knowing that you are safe and happy makes him even more excited. 

He likes gardens, so he takes you to them a lot, and he even decided to start one with you

On special days, or days when you are feeling down, he’ll get you a special bouquet of flowers with different meanings to cheer you up!

Baking is also a special hobby between you two. Sweets in general are where you two bond, so occasionally you two go out and try different sweet shops, cafes, or parlors. 

You two always rank your fave desserts and places

Do not, I repeat, do NOT tell him about/mention/ or even THINK of dating. He’ll probably beat the crap out of whoever you’re dating because, ‘they are not worth it’

Very strict and will throw hands with anyone checking you out- he’s like an angry dog 

Oh dear, if your date makes you sad or upset they will be dead. Saeran will take no shit if they made you frown, and they better start praying for their safety. 

You and Saeyoung have to hold him back before he murders your date

He still has his anxious moments where his past may catch up and he’ll freak out, but you are one of the few that can easily coax him out of it. He’d never hurt you at all

If you refer to him as ‘dad’ I think he might feel his heart flutter but also feel nervous...what if he becomes like his dad? What if he hurts you or can’t protect you? 

He’ll definitely teach you self-defense but Saeyoung will step in when he tries to teach you how to use a pistol because ‘SAERAN THEY’RE 16, DO NOT DO THAT!!!!’ 

He has his days when he’s more lax about you, but also has days when he’s breathing down your neck

It’ll take him a long time to be considered a ‘good’ guardian, please be patient, and gently let him know how he should improve. 

He’s not good at dealing with your emotions. All he knows how to do is punch whatever made you feel sad, but he quickly learns he can’t do that, and takes advice from all the RFA to help you. 

You can fight me but he probably has bought some guidebooks or pamphlets to try and learn to take care of you, and he’s LOST. 

“So to comfort them, I hug them...then ask how they’re feeling? Okay, but then it says they might want space? So how do I know? IT DOESN’T EVEN SAY WHEN! WHAT THE HELL? WHAT A WASTE OF MY DAMN MONEY!” He chucks it across the room before promptly picking it up and trying to read it again

He sees a lot of shows and tries to do stereotypical ‘family’ things, but quickly realizes that neither of you are enjoying it and he breathes a sigh of relief because holy hell that made him so uncomfortable. 

You both are pretty blunt with what you feel so you’re both on the same page, and try to work it accordingly. 

Okay on occasion he’s got you outfits that are similar to his so you both can match and he loves it so much

The most awkward dad jokes. EVER. You’ll be like, ‘hey I’m hungry’, and he’ll remember that he read on a parenting website that dad jokes make your connection stronger or something, so he’ll murmur, ‘hi hungry, I’m dad’. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because he was in physical pain after saying that. 

You both got a lot to work on, but he tries. Really. And he’s so happy he met you, and he’ll make sure you grow up with a better childhood than he did. Nothing is too big or too small for him to do. 

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [567]

The video call opens and Malika sees the Iron Bull’s broad chest and jaw as he turns his steering wheel, the sound of his turn signal clicking persistently in the background.

“Sorry,” he says, “Running late. Almost home. Ellana’s already there. I don’t know how but she beat me in this traffic. I was literally only twenty minutes away from home and she was driving in from the fucking airport and she somehow beat me. On a Friday afternoon. This is why we have to move to the Marches. Forget that the major studios are here. I wouldn’t be dealing with this kind of traffic in the Marches. You went to college in Markham? Starkhaven?”

“Starkhaven,” Malika answers, nervously checking the window where she has all her notes.

She’s been fans of the Iron Bull and Ellana Lavellan since she was a kid. She’s pretty sure she knows pretty much everything on their wiki pages, but she’d rather not forget and ask a dumb question because’s she’s nervous. She shouldn’t be.

The Iron Bull is a friend of her uncles and she’s known him since she was a kid. Well. Been kind of tangentially around him. He’s not as intimidating as he would be if she didn’t know him at all. Still. He’s the Iron Bull, it’s hard not to geek out over him.

And it’s Ellana Lavellan, it’s impossible not to want to burst out into wild screams of excitement. Malika swears she has no idea how she’s keeping herself composed right now. She’s met the woman in person a few times before — briefly — and she’s fairly certain the only thing that kept her from doing something wildly inappropriate was the overwhelming joy that made her pretty short-circuited her everything.

There’s a part of her mind that’s chanting this is for work, this is for work, this is for work and another part of her mind that’s just yelling.

“Thanks again for agreeing to do the interview with me,” Malika says. “Not a lot of people really care to do interviews for Humfeed.”

It’s not exactly the best media outlet. It’s mostly youtube and clickbait articles on this side of it, actually. But if Malika gets a solid portfolio of work going she can probably get transferred to the serious side of the business, covering stuff like elections and laws and international situations and stuff. She might even get to go freelance someday.

“No problem," Bull says, “You’re a good kid. Edric doesn’t shut up about you. In a good way.”

He gives the camera a distracted smile and she stays quiet as he parks, picking up his phone.

Malika takes a few moments to just breath and collect herself and push down on all her urges to squeal.

Bull sits down in his living room, setting up the phone somewhere on a table nearby, yelling out into the house, “Ellana, I’ve got Malika on my phone.”

“I’ll be right there!” Malika hears from somewhere off screen and then Ellana Lavellan, legend and favorite of the world itself, comes into view, sitting next to Bull on their lovely sofa, beaming.

“Hi, Malika,” Ellana says, “Is this good?”

“Yeah, it’s not a video, it’ll be an article so I’m mostly going to use transcripts,” Malika answers. “Thank you for agreeing to this.”

“Anything for the fans,” Ellana deadpans, “Also for the youth pursuing the ever noble passion of journalism. I’ve read some of your pieces and you’re going to be amazing.”

Ellana Lavellan has read some of her articles, Malika thinks to herself. She’s going to die. Malika is going to straight up die.

Her voice cracks when she talks, but hopefully that can be attributed to a poor connection or something.

“Alright, so. Let’s get started. Um. First off, congratulations on the engagement.”

“Thank you,” Ellana and the Iron Bull say, giving each other brief, but fond, glances before returning their focus to the camera.

“This question is for the both of you. How do the two of you manage your busy schedules, considering how high in demand both of you are? Everyone knows that the two of you have been dating for almost four years now, so obviously you guys have figured out some kind of time management system. But how do you guys determine how you balance out your projects and coordinate with each other?”

“High demand?” Bull and Ellana both ask at the same time.

“Yes,” Malika nods, hand ready to jot down notes on the separate notepad she has. “For example — Ellana, you were just announced to take part in the highly anticipated follow up movie to Hard in Hightown, and you’ve just come off of working Mountain’s Nine. Both of these take place in extremely different filming locations, I imagine, and both sound like they’re huge time sucks. And you, the Iron Bull, are currently scheduled to be in two upcoming video games as well as commentating on the Ferelden Men’s championship.”

“The what?” Ellana says, turning to the Iron Bull at the same time the Iron Bull is staring at Ellana like he’s never seen her before. “You’re going to be in what and commentating on what?”

She turns to Malika, looking a little helpless.

Malika stares between the two.

“Do you guys…not talk about your projects?”

“Projects,” Bull repeats, slowly. “You have projects?”

Ellana turns to stare at Bull. “You have projects?”

Malika just stares at the both of them. “You…you two have been dating for four years and recently got engaged. Do you…did either of you ever google each other?”

“You’re famous?” Ellana whispers.

“You’ve been in movies?” The Iron Bull replies, sounding dazed.

Ellana quickly pulls out her phone, even as Malika starts to carefully attempt to jog Ellana’s memory.

“He’s a world champion weight lifter,” Malika says, “He’s got world records that still haven’t been broken to this day. He’s won gold more times than should be possible and he didn’t even retire because of an injury or anything. He just retired because he wanted to. Then immediately after that, he entered competitive chess. He’s also got a world record for chess, and he’s a recognized chess master. He was the champion of chess for five years running. He’s…he’s literally a champion of so many things and he’s always asked to commentate and teach and — you didn’t know?”

“Oh my god,” Ellana sounds like she’s dying as she looks at something on her phone. She reaches out, not looking up and starts hitting Bull’s leg. “You — you’re a tetris champion? You — oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. This is you! You’re in a fucking leotard. Oh my god, you had hair. What is this, how come I’ve — “

“You didn’t know?” Bull asks, incredulous. “You said you recognized me when we first met.”

“From the underwear ad!” Ellana blurts out, eyes widening as she scrolls through something on her phone. “I though you were an underwear model!”

“Ellana, that shoot was to promote my cologne.”

“It was your cologne?!?”

“Yes,” Bull says, “Of course it’s mine. Why else would I have done a photo shoot for it?”

“Because you’re a model!”

“No, I only started modeling after I retired from weight lifting,” Bull says. “Babe, the only reason I became a popular model was because I was a popular athlete first.”

“Why would I know this? You know I don’t…sports!”

“They literally stop playing all news and television every time the Olympics comes around and somehow you’ve never seen me? Wait — hold on. You. You’re famous. You’re in movies.”

Ellana starts crying. Well. Laughing and crying hysterically, clutching onto the back of their couch as she leans back, stomping her leg on the ground, phone clutched to her chest as she shrieks with laughter.

“Oh my god,” She cries. “Holy shit. You’re famous. You’re famous!”

“So are you?” the Iron Bull, and it sounds like a question.

“She’s…an award winning actress,” Malika says weakly. This is not how she thought this interview was going to go. “She’s won actress of the year six times. She’s been in internationally acclaimed movies. Just name dropping her can shoot a movie’s popularity up with the critics.”

The Iron Bull stares at Malika.

“She’s been in a million movies,” Malika continues. “You’ve seen them.”

“I have?”

“The Lady of the Lake? Emperor of the Rings? Jude Bravo and the Void Thief? Empire Raider? Derelict Wars? The Lovelace series? The Good-Mother? Thieves of the Lost Arc? The Shape of You? Dreams?”

The Iron Bull looks more lost with each movie she names and Malika could go on for another half hour or more just listing Ellana’s greatest hits.

He slowly turns back to the woman who’s slowly started to slide off the couch as she shrieks with laughter.

“You don’t own any movies,” he says dumbly. “We had to fucking rent The Lady of the Lake. You were in it and you didn’t even say anything. Who the fuck were you?”

“To be fair, I play a lot of characters with heavy prosthetics,” Ellana says as she attempts to compose herself, face red as she hiccups. “Besides, you don’t like the kind of stuff I’m in. You like TV shows more than movies.”

“You’re in TV shows,” Malika feels the needs to point out.

Bull gestures at Malika helplessly. “And I’ve never seen you once?”

“You don’t like the kind of shows I’m in,” Ellana says. “You only watch cop procedural shows and true crime stuff.”

“You were the star in the hit series remake of Carmine as the notorious cannibal Dr. Carmine Flescher,” Malika says.

Ellana, by this point, has fallen off the couch. Malika sees her stumbling up and walk off frame, bursting into laughter as she goes again.  The Iron Bull puts his head in his hands.

“Is the interview still going?” Bull asks, voice slightly muffled.

“No,” Malika says, because this is definitely not something she’s going to write about. Yeah, it would get a lot of attention, but it’s not the kind of attention Malika thinks any of the three of them present want. “Are you okay?”

“My fiancé is an actress with an IMDB page longer than my entire arm,” Bull says. “Not really.”

Ellana suddenly reappears in frame, holding her hand out. “I want my ring back.”

Malika swears she’s lost sensation in most of her body parts and her heart is beating faster than healthy.

Bull stares up at Ellana. “What?”

“I proposed to you when I thought you were some cute model. You’re actually a literal genius with world records,” Ellana says, wiggling her hand. “I’ve got to do this over again. Give me that ring so I can propose to you with all the flair that you deserve.”

Bull’s expression turns from stunned to fond.

“You’re an actress with more gold than I ever won,” he says, “I should be the one getting down to propose to you this time.”

“With your bad knee? Forget it,” Ellana says, reaching down and taking his hand and pulling the ring off herself. She sticks it in her pocket. “Okay. Give me like. A few days and I’ll think up of a better proposal. Fit for a world fucking champion, holy shit. I can’t believe I married up — hold on. Wait a minute. All those times you said you were busy — were you doing world champion stuff?””

[mandelene]

Tag Game

Answer 15 questions and tag 15 mutuals

Thank you to @feyna-v for tagging me!

1. Are you named after someone? No, my mom picked my name just because she liked it and it was American/English and not Polish (she didn’t want to give me a Polish name).  My dad agreed to it. (My name is not Mandelene, btw). 

2. When was the last time you cried? While reading the ending of Small Country by Gael Faye a few days ago. 

3. Do you have kids? Nope, not yet, haha, but I hope to have kids someday if I can. Two or three but no more than three :) Idk how to explain it, but at some point within the past two years, I started feeling more...maternal toward kids, if that’s the right word for it. I just see kids on the bus and think, huh, yeah, I could have one of those, I think I might like that, God knows why. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh, boy. Yes. It’s not as obvious when I’m online, but ask my mother or my close friends and they will confirm that 90% of my daily life is spent being sarcastic. My life is just one big sarcastic meme. 

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? How they present themselves -- whether they’re smiling or frowning, standing up straight or slouching, etc. For men, I immediately notice how tall they are because I’m a tall woman so tall men are absolutely heavenly to look at. Any man that’s like 6′2 ft or taller and in their mid to late twenties makes my heart flutter instinctively. (This is how I know I’m definitely straight, bahahaha).

6. What’s your eye color?

Hazel. I joke that I must be adopted because my parents and sister have green eyes, but my great-grandmother had hazel eyes so I guess my parents are my parents. 

7. Scary movie or happy ending? Happy ending for sure. Scary movies rarely have a storyline that I find interesting tbh.

8. Any special talents? I’ve been told I bake a fantastic coffee cake. I can recite the alphabet backwards, and I know some first-aid, but those are skills and not really talents. 

9. Where were you born? I’m a Brooklyn baby. :D Brooklyn, NY. 

10. What are your hobbies? Writing, reading, occasional video-making, playing with my cat, indoor cycler, casual gamer, novice yoga pupil. 

11. Have you any pets? Of course. Most of you know my baby already: 

Macchiato! 

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

Oh, here we go. Brace yourselves for a tangent.

I was the sickly asthmatic kid who was too busy coughing up a lung to play sports, and I’m only half-joking. I played soccer a lot as a kid with my friends, but I was never on a team because my asthma was too severe and out of control for that. I’ve talked about this many times before, but I spent a good chunk of my childhood in the doctor’s office. I missed a lot of school. I got poked and prodded. I cried often about how much I hated being sick. I would be out playing with my friends and have an asthma attack in front of them and feel embarrassed. I would start wheezing and ignore it because I didn’t want everyone to make a big deal out of it. Don’t ever ignore your asthma, please. That never ends well. Sports were something I feared for years.

Midway through high school, my relationship with sports changed completely. I started seeing them as a method to improve my asthma rather than worsen it. My pulmonologist got my asthma under better control by coming up with a treatment regiment that he made sure I stuck to by lecturing my teenaged self at great length and wrote notes to my gym teachers at the start of every marking period. I slowly started regaining my confidence. My doctor made it clear that he was not excusing me from gym completely -- I had to exercise to the best of my ability without making myself sick, and if I kept getting attacks, it was back to the drawing board. If I couldn’t manage to exercise normally, then, in his view, my asthma was impeding my life too much and my medicine wasn’t working for me, which was totally true.  

One of my high school gym teachers, Mr. B, was notorious for being the hardest P.E. teacher in the school. I was terrified of him. Whenever he made us run laps, I would pause when I started feeling unwell, rest for a minute, and then continue. He never said a word to me about it even though he was known for scolding students for stopping. Oddly enough, it took me a while to realize this, but he was always subtlely looking out for me. He always asked me if I had my inhaler with me at the start of class. Although I was often dead last in everything he made us do, he pretended not to notice and never commented on it. I never cheated him. If he said to do 30 laps, I would do 30 laps, even if I had to pause three times in between. Everyone else would have already moved on to other exercises while I was still doing my laps, lol, but I don’t think I ever had to reach for my inhaler. At the end of the term, he pulled me aside and told me, “I know you always tried your best, and I admire that.” He gave me an A. He was the only gym teacher I had who didn’t accuse me of making excuses or being lazy. Many previous teachers had convinced me I wasn’t trying hard enough, so I would push myself, and then I promptly proceeded to have attacks, be frustrated with myself, and end up in tears in the locker room. I needed Mr. B in my life to restore my faith in gym. 

Nowadays I indoor cycle 3-4 times a week for 45 minutes to an hour to strengthen my lungs. Once a week, I have my “long tour” which is when I cycle for an hour and thirty minutes. After cycling, I lift weights for another 15-20 minutes. If I have a cold or any other upper respiratory infection, I stop all exercise until I’m well, and I hold myself to this. I have a better idea of my limits and what sports are best for me. I love swimming, but unfortunately, I don’t have a good indoor swimming pool around me, so it’s not something I can do regularly. Running/Track is still something I really struggle with, but brisk walking or hiking is fine. Last year, I was really into dance classes with my friend. Cycling is super kind to my lungs but leaves me exhausted in a good way, so that’s why it’s my favorite form of exercise. I’m sure if I did it outside though, I’d have asthma attacks. I’m generally okay with all sports/exercise as long as it doesn’t involve long stretches of running with few breaks in between, and I don’t do it outside when it’s cold. I won’t die from a light jog unless it’s the middle of January and there’s a meter of snow on the ground. You can invite me to play volleyball/basketball/tennis/whatever, and I promise I’ll be fine, haha. 

I’ve also tried getting into yoga recently by following some YouTube instructors, but cycling is what I do most regularly and have stuck to. I take frequent exercise very seriously now, and I make it a priority. 

13. How tall are you?

5′10 ft, so 177.8 cm. Super tall, I know. You should see my legs in yoga pants ;) 

14. Favorite subject in school? In elementary school, I enjoyed English classes the most. In high school, AP comparative government in my senior year was my favorite because I love international politics. Then, there came a point in my life when I stopped liking English classes and started despising them (around my second year of university). College English consists of reading novels (which is a good start) and then writing unnecessarily long papers analyzing the novel, but if the professor doesn’t like your interpretation or analysis, they’ll deduct points. They’re not the classes you want to take if you want to actually learn how to be a better writer. They just teach you how to pander to the professor and not how to think for yourself. It’s annoying. Journalism classes get right down to the technical parts of writing and tear your sentences apart. I feel like I gain more from those classes than ones in which I have to write a ten-page essay on the symbolism of a key. 

15. Dream job? A few years ago, I would have said “reporter for the New York Times,” and while that would be incredible, I have multiple dream jobs now. 

I would still love to work at a media outlet. I’d want to either work at the international desk as a writer/reporter or work on digital content like podcasts or short documentaries. However, I can also picture myself working at an NGO or at a think tank. I might also be interested in doing something in government someday--anything that has a direct impact on getting involved in a community. Global politics and writing are my two biggest passions, so if I end up doing work in either of those areas, I’ll be happy. 

Ideally, I can continue writing fiction on the side and publish it someday, but that’s still a dream I have to work my way up to. 

I don’t want to leave anybody out, so if you’re reading this and you want to answer it, consider yourself tagged by me! :) 

[aion-rsa]

Boss Level Pushes Action Movie Time Loops to Their Limits

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The new action sci-fi thriller Boss Level begins with former Special Forces agent Roy Pulver (Frank Grillo) and an unnamed woman waking up in Pulver’s bed, fully clothed, after what looks like a rough night. But things get rougher very quickly, as an assassin enters Pulver’s apartment and attempts to kill him. Pulver defeats him but ends up dying anyway–only to wake up the next morning and do the whole thing again, perhaps living a little longer and getting killed by someone else, but still dying.

In a running voiceover, Pulver casually informs us that this is the 140th time he’s done this. And he still can’t figure out why or how it’s happening, or how to break out of the time loop he’s stuck in. All he knows is that he will wake up again on the very same morning and despite doing everything he can to prevent it, will nevertheless get shot or stabbed, or beheaded or run over, for reasons unknown. He also knows that his destiny is linked to that of his scientist ex-wife (Naomi Watts), the son who doesn’t know Pulver is his father (Rio Grillo) and his ex-wife’s sinister boss (Mel Gibson).

Boss Level is directed and co-written by Joe Carnahan, who revamped a script originally written by Chris and Eddie Borey. It’s the first feature film Carnahan has directed since 2015’s Stretch, and continues his exploration of taking different approaches to hardcore action and crime thrillers, a track record that includes movies like The Grey (2011), The A-Team (2010), Smokin’ Aces (2006), and Narc (2002). But Boss Level is different in that it also represents Carnahan’s first full dive into sci-fi territory.

“The Boreys wrote this really great script called Continue,” says Carnahan when we connect via Zoom. “I had read it. It started out as kind of a rewrite job. I dug it, because I’ve always loved, as I think a lot of us do, the subgenre of the time loop. It’s kind of a proven commodity in movies. As I got into it more, I was like, ‘I’m not really a sci-fi guy.’ But [late director] Tony Scott, rest his soul, was one of my great mentors. I always loved the way he treated Déjà Vu, which is a great kind of brick and mortar approach to time travel.”

Carnahan says he applied the same approach to what eventually became Boss Level, explaining, “The more fantastical elements of it, I wasn’t really concerned about. But I did love the idea of kind of combining Groundhog Day and Die Hard–the way I think that Doug Liman did it with Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow. But I thought it’d be much funnier if the guy was just bored stiff by all of it and didn’t know what the hell to do.”

The title of the movie itself is a gaming reference (the “boss level” is the final and usually most challenging level of a video game), and Carnahan admits that the narrative is set up to mirror the way a player moves through the levels of a game–sometimes repeating them over and over again.

“That was absolutely deliberate,” he says. “I’m not a huge gamer. But when I was a kid, I played all those games. And it’s funny, I play with my kids now, I have an old stand-up that’s got all these games on it. I got to load up that arcade with all my favorites, Robotron, Galaga–all these dumb games that I loved. So I built that in, but I never wanted that to overwhelm the central core of the story.”

Incredibly, Carnahan’s journey to get Boss Level made started as he was finishing up The Grey more than a decade ago. He had worked with Frank Grillo on that film (now a minor cult classic) and wanted Grillo for the part of Pulver in his time loop tale. But getting the backing to make it was an entirely different story and took 10 years, eventually employing what Carnahan describes as “not a traditional financing structure… every piece of bad luck you could encounter, we basically went through it all.”

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Boss Level is now premiering on Hulu, a result of its long, twisting road to existence, the rise of streaming outlets and the effects of the pandemic on traditional theatrical releases.

“I think the age of our traditional theatrical exhibition is done as we knew it,” says Carnahan confidently. “I think it’s going to shift in ways that people who are at the leading edge of that right now are figuring out… But I don’t think we’re going to go back to 350, 400 seats in a traditional kind of–I just don’t think you’re going to have that happening. Not for the foreseeable future.”

The future, both long term and short term, is very much at the heart of Boss Level. Grillo’s Roy Pulver begins to gradually extend his lifespan on each turn of the loop, living a little longer every go-round and discovering another piece of information that he needs to solve the puzzle he’s trapped in. But while Pulver’s life, those of his wife and son, and possibly many others are at stake, Carnahan says that first and foremost he wanted to make a bonkers action movie that pushed the genre to its limits.

“I was able to make an action movie/Three Stooges film,” he says. “So it was kind of an ideal scenario for me, because we could really go bananas and gonzo with the stuff that we were doing. But listen, you’re always looking to evolve the form. I think that we want to keep pushing it. I don’t know that you’re going to be able to do just the straight action film anymore without any kind of emotional content–without some sort of heart and soul. I think the Marvel films have done this so well, combining this big kind of spectacle action filmmaking with heart, with these small, idiosyncratic and quirky moments.”

Boss Level is the latest movie to emerge from Warparty, the production company that Carnahan and Grillo officially began in 2016. Grillo, of course, has enjoyed a long career as one of film’s most reliable tough guys, especially in movies like The Grey, End of Watch, Zero Dark Thirty, The Purge: Anarchy, and The Purge: Election Year, while also playing the villainous Brock Rumlow/Crossbones in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Carnahan says that their similar tastes and outlook is what makes the partnership work and drives their acquisition of material to produce.

“We’re always looking for kind of elevated genre stuff,” Carnahan says. “Stuff that we think we can sink our teeth into and make better than the sum of its parts, [so] that we’re not just doing an action film, or a horror film, or a thriller. We want to plus it up. Frank and I have a great ease of use. We have a great shorthand at this point. We just know how the other one’s going to move in a situation and what to expect, and so on. There’s great comfort and certainly great creative strength in that.”

With both men producing, Grillo acting and Carnahan directing or writing or both, the pair have several formidable projects coming down the pipeline. One is an English language version of the already classic 2011 Indonesian action thriller The Raid, which has yet to start filming, while the other, Copshop, is now in post-production. The latter film teams Grillo with Gerard Butler, and Carnahan promises that the sparks will fly between the two action heavyweights.

“They’re dynamite,” the director exclaims. “I’ll say right now, I don’t know that Gerry’s ever been better in a movie. That’s how good he is in Copshop. He’s dynamite, man. He’s really, really something in this film. I think people are going to kind of be blown away. And then there’s this young woman, Alexis Lauder, who’s basically the lead of the film. She’s just a movie star. She’s just absolutely captivating. And the movie is really good. I’m very proud of it and I think audiences are going to dig it.”

As for whether we’ll see Butler and Grillo go head to head in a fight sequence or two in the film, Carnahan doesn’t want to get into details but adds, “We’re not going to disappoint people.”

Right now, however, Carnahan is focused on getting the word out about Boss Level, and is not shy about what he thinks he, Grillo, and their team have accomplished with it.

“I think it’s the best action movie of the last five years,” he says. “I just think it’s awesome and it’s funny. It’s rare that you make a film where everything that movie tries to do, it succeeds at doing. I think that’s a great testament to the people involved in it and how, even when it seemed like it was born under a bad sign, we still persevered. I just think it’s a blast, and a hell of a lot of fun on a Friday or Saturday night.”

Boss Level begins streaming now on Hulu.

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[daylflay]

Gen-Z

Biters’ Remorse (Or Lack Thereof)

Most good horror movies have something to say, some social commentary to thrust upon attentive and thoughtful viewers, especially zombie movies. George A. Romero was perhaps the most prominent director of zombie movies in cinematic history, and that’s because he basically invented the modern, flesh-eating, slow-moving, undead variety of zombie that contemporary audiences hunger for (forgive the quip). With Night of the Living Dead, Romero’s first, and arguably most seminal, foray into the genre, he used imagery such as that of hordes of white people attempting to kill a black protagonist in order to comment on the racism endemic in America circa the 1960s. Ten years later, In Dawn of the Dead, Romero once again used zombies as a vehicle for criticism, but this time he set the action in a mall in order to tackle the issue of consumerism. The latter portion of Romero’s zombie oeuvre features a couple of entries, Land of the Dead and Diary of the Dead, whose messages would undoubtedly resonate with modern audiences even though the two films were released almost fifteen years ago: The former features a fortified city separating the entitled from the rest of the embattled world, commenting upon the xenophobia and nationalism engendered by a post-September 11th America; the latter features individuals recording the horrors of the apocalypse with handheld cameras, an obvious allusion to the advent of YouTube (Diary of the Dead was released in 2007). If Romero were still alive, then I’m certain that he would still be making zombie movies, and furthermore I’m pretty sure that the criticisms he’d be levying would be directed at misinformation and its propagation on the web, among a plethora of other subjects (recent events would’ve given him plenty to work with, to say the least). The world is currently facing a real-life pandemic, COVID-19, and its spread is attributable to many factors, such as lack of hygiene, large gatherings of people, etc., but I’d argue that misinformation has also played an inordinate role in this crisis. In Free Culture: How Big Media Uses Technology And The Law To Lock Down Culture And Control Creativity, Lawrence Lessig states that “the internet has unleashed an extraordinary possibility…to participate in the process of building and cultivating a culture that reaches far beyond local boundaries.” Lessig isn’t criticizing the internet with his statement, but I’m indeed doing so with my quotation. That “reach” that Lessig referred to, it’s what ultimately makes it difficult to quarantine those infected by misinformation, and it in turn makes life more difficult for those trying to survive in the web’s hordes of misinformation/misinformed people. 

The Survivors

Not all of the individuals I’m tracking carry pretensions of professional journalism, some are simply trying to live their lives as normally as possible during this national emergency. Having said that, considering the prominence of the novel coronavirus currently present in practically all matters of public discourse, much talk of the epidemic is present in almost everyone’s tweets to some degree. Of the individuals of my blog’s focus, Kashana Cauley and Patti Harrison are easily the least politically active and journalistically inclined. The Twitter accounts of both women have been producing a minor amount of content as of late, which makes sense considering they, like everyone, are likely dealing with the coronavirus situation and all of its associated complications upon quotidian life. Cauley’s only tweet from 3/12/20: In response to a quoted tweet from CNN journalist Ana Cabrera that read, “McConnell ally says Senate won't take up House #coronavirus bill until after recess. ‘The Senate will act when we come back and we have a clearer idea of what extra steps we need to take,’ Sen. Lamar Alexander told reporters.”, Cauley tweeted, “I don’t know why, but I think if the rest of us rolled into work & said ‘let people die until March 23rd’ we might get fired.” Cauley is obviously paying attention to the news, but not necessarily engaging with it in any major way. Harrison only tweeted twice on 3/12/20, and one of the tweets read: “Lying in bed bottomless, legs spread, patting my mound, my phone 2 inches from my face, arching my back and moaning with SINFUL anticipation for all of the front-facing character videos we are about to see when all these comedians get quarantined inside our houses…mmmm fuck!”. Harrison is responding to the news, but not intimating at criticism of said news like Cauley did in her aforementioned tweet, instead vying for the use of apolitical humor in order to entertain her followers. 

Rick Wilson spends a lot of his time on Twitter attacking Donald Trump and the Republican party, and that hasn’t changed, as evidenced by his activity from 3/12/20: In response to a quoted Trump tweet that read, “Sleepy Joe Biden was in charge of the H1N1 Swine Flu epidemic which killed thousands of people. The response was one of the worst on record. Our response is one of the best, with fast action of border closings & a 78% Approval Rating, the highest on record. His was lowest!”, Wilson tweeted, “So this is how you want to play it?”. Wilson has never claimed to be a journalist, but he provides a lot of commentary on the news, especially news of a political variety, so it’s no surprise that a lot of his current tweeting pertains to the coronavirus considering its proximity to politics. Despite lacking in professional ties to the journalistic industry, Wilson is still playing an important role in the fight against misinformation by fact-checking and pushing against sophistic Trump/Republican narratives being circulated (https://www.vox.com/2020/3/12/21176750/trump-coronavirus-response-disaster).

The Quarantine

For all of the responsible web users who aren’t contributing to the spread of misinformation, there are of course those who need to be quarantined due to their being carriers and deliberate disseminators of said misinformation. Candace Owens is one of those individuals who needs to be quarantined, immediately. Twitter is by no means a newspaper, but it’s nonetheless a source of news for some, and when one has a following the size of Owens (2 million as of 3/12/20), then one has a responsibility to at least attempt to promulgate accurate information, especially when one likes to play at being a journalist. Owens has always fancied herself a journalist of sorts, but if she hadn’t dropped out of the University of Rhode Island while attempting to acquire a degree in journalism (https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/youtube-tested-trump-approved-how-candace-owens-suddenly-became-loudest-n885166), then perhaps she’d understand that the journalistic institution has a code of ethics. One of the most basic aspects of journalism, an aspect that’s tragically being undercut in the modern era by irresponsible fools such as Owens, is so simple that a child could ascertain it: Get the basic facts straight. This is one of Owens’ tweets from 3/10/20: “One day, we will look back and study the impact of the coronavirus…Not the virus itself of course, but the mass global mental breakdown that it inspired…Because people think it’s novel that 80 year olds are dying at a high rate from a flu…This tweet will age well.” Not only is the information contained in her tweet plainly incorrect, but it’s dangerous. First of all, there’s a big difference between coronavirus and the flu (https://www.wsj.com/articles/coronavirus-vs-flu-which-virus-is-deadlier-11583856879), evidenced not only by the disparate terms, but by the simple fact that the flu doesn’t lead the World Health Organization to declare the presence of a pandemic every flu season (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-51839944). Secondly, while it’s been reported that it’s primarily older people dying from COVID-19, youth doesn’t preclude one from catching coronavirus and spreading it to those older people; not to mention those of varying ages with underlying conditions such as autoimmune diseases who could easily die via coronavirus (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/12/health/coronavirus-midlife-conditions.html). Owens is just an extension of a type web-user Christian Fuchs refers to in Social Media: A Critical Introduction: “Cultural communities are not automatically politically progressive...Facebook group[s] [exist]…for Norwegian right-wing extremists…[like]the fascist terrorist Anders Behring Breivik, who killed 77 people in the Norwegian terror attacks on July 22, 2011”. Owens isn’t a violent terrorist (that I know of), but the misinformation she’s spreading could nonetheless be responsible for far more deaths than that of Breivik. It’s no wonder that Owens is a pariah to the vast majority of professional news outlets and can’t find columnist work outside of conservative propaganda-peddlers such as Fox News.

The Anti-Quarantine

Graduate of the University of Oxford, host of UpFront on the Al Jazeera network, writer/podcaster for investigative journalism outlet The Intercept, frequent commentator on networks such as CNN, Mehdi Hasan is essentially the diametric opposite of Owens (https://www.vox.com/recode/2019/6/14/18678698/mehdi-hasan-intercept-impeachment-donald-trump-pelosi-kara-swisher-recode-decode-podcast-interview). Hasan is a serious, passionate journalist who takes the dissemination of information/news very seriously, whether it be on Twitter or otherwise. Hasan has been absolutely restless on Twitter during the COVID-19 pandemic, reporting on germane news as it breaks and fact-checking those who attempt to misinform. Here’s Hasan challenging NBC columnist Richard Engel on 3/12/20, less than an hour after Engel posted his tweet: Engel tweeted, “The reaction/overreaction in the US to the virus seems largely political. Trump’s critics have no confidence in him, so they panic. Others defend Trump no matter what he does and don’t listen to anyone else. Not a recipe for keep calm and carry on. When broken you can’t be strong”; Hasan quoted Engel’s tweet and responded with, “Please don’t ‘both sides’ the anti-science, failed-on-testing, pandemic-minimizing conspiracy theorist in the White House.” Hasan is the antidote to the infection being spread by individuals such as Owens; whatever the opposite of a quarantine is, that’s what we need to do to Hasan. 

The Line

The line between amateur and professional may be blurred in some cases due to the rise of social media and the power of web-based technologies such as smartphones, yet in a lot of cases that blurring isn’t relatively important, but in the case of a pandemic such as COVID-19 and the blurring between amateur and professional journalism, the difference between an amateur like Owens and a professional like Hasan is of the utmost importance. Owens’ misinformation-spewing may well contribute to the deaths of actual people, and furthermore disrupt the important work of good-faith journalists like Hasan. What’s at stake here is clear: life and death. 

Life and death were subjects very much on George A. Romero’s mind during his filmmaking career, e.g.: Romero’s cinematic universe, a patchwork of films loosely connected to each other by an overarching narrative a la the Marvel Cinematic Universe, was kicked off by Night of the Living Dead; the concept of the living dead of course remained a linchpin of Romero’s work until the end. Unfortunately, like the namesake of so many of his films, Romero himself is now dead, so I have taken it upon myself to propose the concept for the next film in his cinematic universe of the living dead. In Quentin Tarantino’s Star Wars?: Digital Cinema, Media Convergence, and Participatory Culture, Henry Jenkins talks about “the story of American arts in the twenty-first century [and how it] might be told in terms of the public reemergence of grassroots creativity as everyday people take advantage of new technologies that enable them to archive, annotate, appropriate, and recirculate media content.” If I had more time, I’d certainly attempt to contribute to Jenkins’ perception of “twenty-first century” art via a short Romero-inspired film uploaded to YouTube or some similar platform, but I’ll settle for this faux-blurb instead: The year is 2020, and the world has rarely been more divided and vulnerable. Catastrophic weather events have ravaged the globe and displaced millions, spurred by a rapidly changing climate and subsequently decaying ecosystem. Political divisiveness has led to international protests and civil unrest with heretofore unparalleled levels of fervor. A highly contagious virus has begun spreading inexorably from country to country, slowly but surely infecting and killing an increasing number of people. Misinformation is running rampant on the web, leading to mass confusion and extreme skepticism of any and all information being disseminated. At the Biology department of a university in Fullerton, California, an accident is about to take place that will blur the lines between the living and the dead. For some, it’s felt like the end of the world for a long time, but those feelings are about to validated, and the world will be too distracted warring with itself, and the truth, for anyone to do anything about it. When the world already feels like hell, the living dead will feel right at home. Welcome to the world of…Gen-Z. Like those selfies while you still can. Coming to a theater near you…NOW! It’s already happening, so stock up on toilet paper…          

[kissmyflash]

Belle’s Story - The Misogyny of Devin Faraci, the Alamo & Working as a Female Film Critic

After my story went public I offered my blog to be used for any other woman who was targeted by Devin Faraci, the Alamo Drafthouse, or misogyny within the film community at large. I promised that I would allow them to stay anonymous, and simply print their own experiences in their own words. Today I received an email from a woman asking to have her story heard. It is her hope that by being the first to come forward anonymously others might be empowered to do the same. For the purpose of keeping each story straight they will be given an alias inspired by a character in film.

This story is from “Belle”* (*it should be noted the point of these stories is not to try to name the woman, but to hear her story. Please don’t try to “figure it out”.) I wrote for a number of outlets, more years ago now than I care to count. 

The tale of my days of film journalism are depressing and sordid. Sexism and misogyny isn't just rampant, it defined every interaction.  For example, editor has a plus one, and he offers it to you. "You can come as my date." "Or I can come as your friend?" "You can come as my date." Oh, and he's married. Once, I was very upset at a nasty, sexist comment left in my comment field calling me "a fucking gash." I begged them to delete it, and ban the user. "Sweetie, it's not like it is racism." And yes, I blasted him for calling me sweetie. I put up with it for my entire, short career thinking “Well, it’s just locker room talk and I want people to think I’m cool, so I won’t let it bother me.”  And then you realize no, it’s the reality and when you reject these guys, you’re done.  To confront them was to be told they were joking and be gaslamped into thinking they had harassed you at all. Faraci and I were, I thought, friends. He reached out to me in my early days, and I was beyond thrilled and flattered.  He was a big name. He championed my work, he encouraged people to read me on Twitter and I really thought he was one of the good guys. I constantly defended him against detractors, quoted his scoops and gave him press. In my view, most of my colleagues were unpleasant guys who couldn’t say a nice word about me or my work, routinely harassed me and exposed me to harassment, but were happy to call themselves feminists. Faraci, on the other hand, was a vocal defender who would call out the trolls they wouldn’t.  And we all mimicked his snarky, bully tone. He set the voice for film criticism at that time. Faraci and I hung out at events. Very friendly. He flirted and complimented, and I felt like I saw this sad, sensitive side of him that he didn’t let on to many people.  I remember messaging him and telling him something encouraging about his weight, and he thanked me and said I was very sweet.  Again, I appreciated his support and camaraderie on a very cruel Internet. I already detailed my exceedingly polite rejection of his advances (to the Daily Beast). What I'd like to stress was how nauseated I was the next day -- not only from the alcohol but what almost happened.  I thought well, today will be awkward but I am sure he’ll be cool about it.  We’re adults, we were drinking, it happens and we are friends. But he never spoke to me again. Not on the set visit itself, not after, never again.  He unfollowed me on Twitter. He shunned me.  We could be in the same room together, and he wouldn’t make eye contact or say hi, I was completely invisible.  It was beyond uncomfortable and hurtful. What happened was not rape or assault, but I felt like garbage. I was made to feel as if I'd done something wrong.  Of course, it was nowhere near the level of assault or even harassment, but as a woman, it gets really tiring to feel BAD for not having sex with someone. And it never really went away.  In my last gig,writing for yet another editor who assumed his own female staff was fair game, I was told “Well, see, I was told you fucked Faraci.” I’ve never known where that piece of gossip originated. Devin himself?  The editor who called me up on that fateful set visit, heard Devin in the background, and said he’d tell everyone I slept with him before cackling and hanging up? Even when I myself went to work for a branch of the Alamo, and Faraci KNEW I worked for his same company, he still shunned me. It was a pretty blatant snub, and one that didn’t exactly go unnoticed.  Drafthouse patrons knew me and my work.  I’d be called out at dish pit because they recognized my voice from podcasts.  “Why don’t you write for BMD?”   “Eh, not interested."  It's conjecture as to why, but i felt strongly that one rejection was the reason. Amusingly, he once passed me in the hallway of Drafthouse while I was carrying dirty dishes, and actually said hi, but it was because he didn’t recognize me at all.  I joked about it with some friends — as I recall, I made a Les Miserables joke about having fallen so far into the gutter that my old colleagues didn’t even recognize me. Devin heard about it, and was angry that I hadn’t identified myself. When I reached out and said “Well, it was me, hi Devin,” he never even acknowledged me. There is simply no way Tim League didn’t know about Devin’s so-called dark side, or ever believed he was some sturdy feminist.  Faraci’s work on CHUD was full of T&A and oogling. He proudly shared a video clip of himself gawking at Scarlett Johannson’s butt.  He had a profile picture of himself looking down a Medieval Times wench’s dress — and it was the replacement for the profile picture of himself gaping at a booth babe who was wearing nothing but duct tape. This was Devin.  This is all of online film culture, this is the Drafthouse.  When they introduced their new female programmer, who was set to focus on girl friendly programming, her official Drafthouse photo was of her in tiny underwear/shorts, sucking on a lollypop in her pink bedroom. I should stress that I’ve never interacted with League directly. I worked a franchise, so we had our own GM and owners. There has been a lot of ugliness with the Alamo’s franchising, and just what League will claim to have knowledge of or direct action in.  I do know that Tim seems to have a persistent death wish to keep bad blood around. I had a lot of fun working for the Drafthouse initially.  I started before they even broke ground, and helped them run their outdoor events publicizing their theatre. I loved everything they stood for.  When they opened officially, I applied to work as a server. That’s how badly I wanted in. But, to my delight, my past efforts for them were remembered and I was moved from food to programming. For its first summer, I was basically its creative department, though “officially unofficial." I had confidence this nebulous position would be permanent. One day, the boss calls me up and tells me he is hiring a new Creative Manager, and I’d have a new boss. I was never offered the position, told it was open, nothing. He listed the candidates he'd rejected -- one of whom, he complained, never showed up to the events that were meant to be his audition. These were events I had worked -- I'd organized them! Why weren't they my audition? Now, to be entirely impartial, maybe I wasn't a good fit. Maybe they were dissatisfied with my work. I had never been given that feedback or impression, though. Quite the opposite. The distinct feeling I had was "You're not the bearded guy who is our audience." And sure enough, I walked in one day and I had no job. But, I was still loyal! I happily went to work at box office. And I scrubbed their bathrooms and wood paneling.  Anything to stay within the Drafthouse and hope I could work back up to a creative or programming position.  Not surprisingly, that never happened and due to the abusive management, I quit. Amusingly, when I needed a second chance from the Alamo — and had been promised I would always be welcome  — I was told they would not renew their relationship with me.  Second chances are not, it seems, for everyone. Now, it's probably unfair to say that in that I have no relationship with League. He didn't personally reject me. I’m sure he doesn’t know the particulars.Yet he always knew when our bathrooms were shut down for cleaning, and would fire off an email wanting them reopened within the hour.   But that’s the mystery of League and the Drafthouse. Somehow, no one is in charge when someone is getting hurt, and a lot of people got hurt there.  Somehow League is “above it all,” too big for the daily grind of the Drafthouse, except when suddenly he isn’t. This probably reads like I have an axe to grind…and hey, I do. It has eaten at me for years that one factor that separated me from terrific gigs was that I didn’t sleep with the right people or wasn't the typical Drafthouse dude.  Was it the only factor? No. But it's the one that shouldn't even exist in the 21st century. It makes me angry that Faraci is not the only predator, and that all of these guys still have great gigs while many were forced into new lines of work. It is appalling to me that Faraci's superiors felt that non-movie work wasn't good enough for someone of his stature.  Plenty of talented writers are working food and retail. Many juggled these jobs while writing because the pay was so poor. Why was he better than anyone else? And that is a question that lingers like a stink over the whole field. Look at the female voices in comparison to the male. Ask why so many women, who were so prominent in the early days of online film writing, are gone now.  Ask why the same guys get chances again and again. Faraci is not the only offender, but the fact that he WAS one for so long says volumes about who he is, the world he works in, what the Drafthouse enables.