#why do I feel ashamed of my love - all of it

[livelaughlovesubs]

Dom!reader x sub!scarletella

Warning: fictional stuff - stimulation through a separate object (?), inspired by some fanarts (artists are amazing), teasing, degrading pet names

I’m seeing so many fanarts that have this implanted and I HAVE to do something about my horniness that’s holding me back from working so, as far as I understand, for mr. Scarlettela his real body is his umbrella or it’s at least connected to him - anyway, can’t believe I’m writing about homicipher bruh, I feel ashamed T^T

!!Spoiler warning!! This is not canon but has some elements from it

He is a good boy, he really is! Well, maybe not at all times, but he’s trying his best for you. And haven’t you seen just how much he loves and trusts you? He’s basically devoted to you! Like a faithful follower~ Handing the red umbrella he always carries over to you so easily, when he normally would never let anyone touch it, let alone give or lend it. It’s just proof of how much he likes you!

So why were you so mean and destroyed it? You like him, didn’t you know that his umbrella is connected to him? Why were you hurting him. He didn’t understand, he didn’t even know what to do. Because in the end, he still liked you.

Now this over 8 feet tall creature was kneeling in front of you, head lowered in confusion as he stared at the concrete floor. You were still holding the now broken umbrella, scoffing as you stared down at his rather pathetic form. It wasn’t entirely broken, just some bend metal and rough ends, or a little tear here and there. Yet for some reason his clothes were torn and disheveled, hands shaking slightly as he kept mumbling the words ‘I don’t understand’ or ‘I like you’ over and over again. At first he seemed intimidating, but now you didn’t have an ounce of fear left.

There must have been a connection between him and this umbrella. Instead of speculating, best just ask him.

Slowly you pointed the long object in your hand at him, the tip pushed below his chin as you made him look up at you. His round, almost completely dark eyes stared right at you, one side was covered by his crimson hair. There were tears steaming down his cheeks, he was crying, how unexpected. The two of you locked eyes for a few seconds, and you wondered what you should do about this crazed man.

While their language was hard to grasp at first, you were getting the hang of it by now. “This umbrella, is you?” The meaning of the question itself was unbelievable, but since this ghost realm exists, maybe your hypothesis wasn’t that out of place. “Yes. Me body.” Look at that, you were right. That explains why he suddenly got so sad. You groaned internally and pulled your arm back, using the umbrella as a cane instead.

As you were still thinking over your next step, his hands reached out to you hesitantly, and softly tugged at the ends of your coat. After stretching the fabric out a little, he leaned his forehead against it, mumbling almost inaudibly, “please don’t go, I like you.” You raised an eyebrow, the corners of your mouth subconsciously moving upwards as you snickered, “What?” His grip got a little tighter and his hand trembled from tensing his muscles so much, then he said a little louder, “I like you, don’t you like me?”

God you wanted to laugh, this was so sad it was laughable. How in the world did he come to that conclusion? In that moment, you had a lot to say it him, but due to the language barrier you couldn’t convey it really well. So you just talked to yourself, needing some time to vent.

“Oh you poor thing.” You chuckled in your own language, the one he didn’t understood. “What am I supposed to do with a perv like you?” He looked up at you again, wanting to ask what you said if not for your shoes that were pressing against his chest. “..what?” The person- or monster asked, but he didn’t resist your touch and leaned back, following your guidance. From earlier up to this point, he has been kneeling, just this time he was also using his arms behind his back to stabilise himself.

Without changing the almost arrogant look in your eyes, you used the gift he gave you to trace some imaginary lines on his body. The tip glided from his jawline to the tip of his chin, and you asked, “your name?” The heavy tension was something he also caught on, and he hesitated, not knowing to what this would lead. He shook his head, forcing out a “don’t know…”

You hummed slowly, showing you understood the message. Nonetheless, you continued to move the tip down his neckline all the way to his toned collarbones, “I’ll give you a name.” His eyes widened even more, it made him look objectively creepier, but you thought he looked like a dumb puppy. All big eyes, bearing a deep need and raw desire in his pupils. “How about,” then, just like drawing with a stick in the mud, you traced the word, “Scarlet,” over his chest, simultaneously voicing out the word.

He shuddered as the hard surface scribbles around his torso, squeezing his lips together while he tried to stay still for you. You weren’t being exactly gentle there. When you stopped to glance at him, he quickly nodded. That wasn’t the end to your little play yet, and you slid the pointy end across his abs and stomach, down to his thighs, making him spread them a little wider, “I gave you a name, so you’ll be my servant from now on. Understood?” This has been said in your language, but you hoped he’ll get the overall meaning.

Again he nodded. In his head, being your servant meant you liked him, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t keep him around! So how could he ever say no.

“Use your mouth.” You ordered, digging the tip into his flesh a little, and he answered shortly after, “I understand, me happy.” Sweat was forming on his forehead, and his previous crying ceased. Instead a faint taint of pink covered his cheeks, and he stared at you almost manically. “Good.” You said, which was basically a praise— right? —and he smiled, a shaky, breathless one.

A little behind you was a chair, and you dragged it closer to the still kneeling man below you. Even you were starting to get tired of standing, so you sat down in a comfortable position. “What now.” You said to yourself, not really paying him any attention anymore. It would be nice if you had a collar, would red or black look better on him? But your resources were limited, and you didn’t exactly have a lot of things with you as well. That’s when you absentmindedly thought over what you did own.

Besides that crowbar you’ve found down here, you really didn’t have a lot. Well, you also had a broken umbrella now— hold up, that’s right, you own him now. A rather sadistic thought came to mind, and you pondered to what limit you could control him with this red, unusual umbrella. Would he feel your presence when you just hold it? You got lost in your thoughts again, fumbling with the torn textile and the handle. This didn’t stop until a strange sound caught your attention.

Your eyes left the red batch of fabric in your hands, and instead wandered to the other red thing in the room. He crawled into a ball, arms folded in front of his body while his head pressed against the ground. It looked like he was in pain again, though you weren’t sure if these noises were whimpers of pain or pleasure. “You okay?” You eventually asked, and he whispered in a higher pitch, “me okay..!”

Once again your gaze returned to the umbrella. He must be in this state due to something you did, and so you tightened your grip around the handle while mindlessly drawing a line with your index finger on the panel. As expected, his shoulder jerked upwards even more, and he rolled more together, as if he wanted to take up as little space as possible. His entire body was twitching, also for some reason his coat was only hanging off his arms now.

“You are into it.” You commented, not even too shocked to learn this rather unnecessary fact. At least you can have your fill of fun with this. “What about this?” Suddenly you started moving your hand up and down the handle, rubbing the umbrella panel with the other hand. It was a truly humbling experience to do something implied sexual to a literal object, but your eyes were glued to the ghost before you, so you didn’t even notice how weird it must have looked.

And sure enough, there was a change in his behaviour, he got louder. Your smile widened involuntarily, and your pace also got quicker and rougher. Oh fucking hell, if he was really feeling that kind of sensations, you won’t be able to stop yourself. It was like you were hypnotised, concentrated on nothing but his expressions. On the different ways his face twisted into one of ecstasy.

A big, dark, lunatic grin, paired with fanatic eyes that were ripped wide open. Some hints of a scarlet blush covering his face while sweat rolled down his face. Those perverse sounds he made were proof of the probably internal pleasure he felt, and he quivered all over, still bend down on the floor. Now that you’ve got a better grasp of what was happening, you realized he was crawled together to hide something.

“Ngh, hgGnn- ah..! Please…♥︎～” he whined at your feet, drool dripping from the corners of his mouth and landing on the floor. You’ve been fumbling with the handle for some time, so you’ve gotten bored again and was curious about if the textile was a part of his being as well. Without a second thought, you simply stuck two fingers between the folds, and you were met with a heavily muffled moan.

“Arghhh-…MmmHFfffF～ ♡♡♥︎” Once he felt your touch, he bit into his own palm to quiet himself down. At some point he started crying again, glistening tears decorating his already ruined face. You didn’t think his reaction would be this good, this lewd, whatever you did, he must have liked it a lot. Which is why, despite the absurdity of your actions, you moved your fingers in and out of the holes or just randomly caressed whatever part you felt like touching.

Out of nowhere you felt something tugging at your coat again, it gave off a sense of Deja vu. Of course it was him, who was only pinching the corner of it with a shaky hand. His grip had lost any strength compared to before, and you couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction. “What?” You asked him, though you didn’t stop your administrations. He cried out when he opened his mouth to speak, breaking down in front of you, for your entertainment only.

“Haaaa-HnnGh… wait, p-please wait-!��” Was he telling you it was too much? It’s making you want to overstimulated him even more. He was being so pathetic it was cute. Without wasting a single second, you went as fast as you could, blatantly ignoring his pleads. Based on your own observations, he must have been close, if he was similar to a real person. “Feels good?” You asked, to make sure he was alright. He didn’t reply again and only nodded all weakly, but you’ll let it slide this time.

He felt so hot and strange, it was a nice but unfamiliar feeling. Not only that, he felt something burning building up inside him and it was threatening to spill. That’s why he wanted you to slow down. Poor thing was confused, absolutely baffled what this warm feeling was. Is it love? It must be love. He loved you and you loved him after all. All in all it wasn’t a bad feeling, and since you seemed happy, he is too!

Another sudden wave of pleasure coursed through him, his eyes were clouded with lust and bliss, and the dirty whimpers that slipped past his lips got more erotic by the second. How desperate and lovesick he sounded, begging, pleading, squirming and trashing around on the spot. Thighs pressed together while his toes curled, back arched as a last moan ripped from his throat, “nnNgGHhh ♡♥︎ ♡～” Just as you predicted, that must have been his climax. Now’s the question, did he came in his pants? Did such things still have a reproductive system?

My my, it seems that is the case, whatever it was it seeped through the dark fabric of hi trousers, causing an even darker spot to appear.

You only caught glimpses of it since he was hiding his own body so much, but you were content nevertheless. Since he was so obedient the entire time, you decided to be nice to him with the limited vocabulary you had. “Cute.” His kneeling figure was still shuddering and twitching, ragged gasps and pants were also coming from him. But for him, the only thing he could hear was your voice ringing and echoing in his mind, as well as the awfully loud beats of his own heart.

After all this time, you finally praised him! Well you did before but this time he was sure of it! And you found him cute! He was so happy he couldn’t stop grinning. That’s when you said, “do you want anything?” It was to kind of make up for making a fool out of him, or maybe for breaking his umbrella. He didn’t even think before quickly turning his head up, slurring out, “g-give me you name?” You blinked, that wouldn’t have been what you wished for but oh well. Right before you simply told him the answer you stopped yourself, and responded teasingly, “call me master.”

You weren’t sure if he knew the meaning behind it, but it didn’t matter. He had a blank look for a few seconds, mumbling to himself, most likely repeating that word a thousand times. While he did that, he let his head hang low again, facing the floor. His hair hid his face really well, and you couldn’t read his expression. “You alright?” You asked once the silence started to make you feel uneasy.

He placed both his hand on the floor and leaned down, until his face was hovering centimetres above your shoe, and he whispered eagerly, excessively so, “I’m happy, master. I love you.” Before kissing the tip of your shoe. You stared down in disbelief, a shiver running down your spine. He was more of a freak than you thought.

The moment he was done, you grabbed a fistful of his hair, proceeding to yank on it, making him face you on eye-level while he gasped in surprise. Your other hand clutched the umbrella more tightly, causing him to groan slightly. “Stupid dog.” You chuckled with a sinister smile spread across your face, watching as hearts appeared in the middle of his pupils.

[ivysprophecy]

bed chem

warnings; uhm sex lol? oral (male and femme recieving) very whorish thoughts, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it pls pls pls), brief mentions of bruising and hickeys, dirty talk. breeding kink if you squint

p. 1 | p. 3

word count; 2295

summary; jj and you have always been able to get along as long as it was in a nice comfy bed. what happens when you start to wonder if your chemistry goes beyond that?

divider by: @bernardsbendystraws

im being so for real when i say id let jj do just about anything he wanted to me.

and im not even being dramatic.

the second i can feel his lips make contact with that spot below my ear and his hands leaving finger prints on my hips, im a goner.

i dont necessarily know what it is about him specifically, and saying its our chemistry feels so icky to say but i dont know how else to describe it.

the way he hooks his thumbs through the belt loops on my shorts? like right now? yea im soaked already.

"mama you've been teasin me all night with that fucking idiot of a date- dont gotta do that baby you just gotta ask me for it."

"jj less talking more tongue."

"yes mama," he smirks up at me from his lap, his lips going back to my neck.

i have to interrupt him because i simply cant keep this shirt on my body. unfortunately i did have my cakes on so he just had to chuckle at them

"jj weve talked about this! they aren't funny!"

"baby theyre boob pancakes for your nipples its always gonna be hilarious."

" 'always' as if youre gonna see them again. how confident."

"sweetheart you say that every time. just let me give the girls some love and enjoy it, yea?" with that he starts peppering kisses all over my chest, his hands pawing at both of them.

"jesus-" the moans that come from my throat are honestly embarrassing but hes just too fucking good at this. he knows every sensitive inch on me.

its like he has me fucking memorized its insane. he feels insane.

and it doesnt help that he loves eye contact. i hate admitting that it flusters me, i dont want him knowing it takes everything in me to keep half of my dignity when he has me like this.

my fingers find the buckle of his belt doing my best to blindly work it off of his waist desperate to get whats under his pants.

im not ashamed to admit that.

"someones eager tonight," he pulls off of my chest with a noisy pop sound, smiling that signature cocky grin that i love to hate. "you gonna tell me what you want?"

i push him back onto the bed so i have easier access to his belt, more so his dick if im being honest.

"i want you to stop talking so i can get your pants off. why dont you work on that shirt for me baby?"

"well since you asked so sweetly," he chuckles throwing off his cut off while helping you get rid of his shorts. "only if you put your shorts on the floor next to mine."

"thats such a weird fucking thing to say jj what the fuck?"

"what? i thought thatd be cute."

"youre so freaking weird," you roll your eyes sliding off your shorts throwing them in whatever direction. they land next to his

jj sits there, head against the pillows watching me. i cant help but feel uneasy, im aware that i have no reason to be uncomfortable and that hes seen me this way plenty of times before but theres something in his eyes that makes me feel like hes drinking in every inch of me and its a but unsettling,

"youre so pretty. cant get enough of ya. ever," he gestures for me to come closer with his fingers before snapping and pointing to his face, "park it pretty mama."

"jj-" i start to interrupt him but he refuses any rebuttal.

"uh uh. weve talked about this. youre gonna sit on my face and im gonna eat it as much as i please. cmon now dont be shy. it doesnt suit you."

blush eats away at your cheeks as you crawl forward closer to his face, gripping the headboard for stability.

"im not shy."

"then act like it baby. now let me taste you, wanna warm you up good for me," and with those last words his arms wrap around my hips and he pulls me down so my weight is on his face.

the second his lips make contact his tongue is READY to work, and let me be clear he knows where the clit is okay? Sucking, licking, even nipping he does it all so fucking good.

all while looking up at me as i use his face like a damn chair.

my hips are desperately trying match the pace of his tongue, i can feel his nose rubbing against my clit giving me the best kind of friction im looking for.

oh my god and when he moans into me?? im done. finished. totaled. i cannot stop the sounds im making.

my legs shake beside his head, and hes staring up at me so smug, so proud of himself like his ability to make me cum was ever in question.

"see? so good for me mama was that so hard?"

i cant even get the words out, still clutching onto the headboard catching my breath. "jj-"

"ive got you dont worry," he picks me up by my waist and twists us so hes now hovering over me. "ill make you feel so good i promise."

"jj- i-" i try to take a deep breath and gather my thoughts, none of them holy obviously. "just gimme a second-"

"awe, someone overstimulated? already?"

i close my eyes and take a deep breath, because yes i do get easily overstimulated. "dont be a dick-"

"i havent even pulled it out yet."

"oh yea? lets see what you've got to say when ive got you all up in my mouth huh? lets find out baby."

i move out from underneath him and lay my head off the edge of the bed, looking at him with an excited glimmer in my eyes and my tongue sticking out.

"holy shit-" i giggle watching jj practically fall off the bed to take his boxers off, fumbling to do so. "are you serious?"

"yea jayj im serious," i say through a few laughs. "now cmere. remember you dont gotta hold back. i can take it."

"oh my god- shit. mama you keep talking like that and im not gonna last."

"i dont wanna talk jj i want your cock in my mouth," and with those final words his boxers drop to the floor. and i can see how ready is, honestly it looks painful. and i wanna make him feel all better.

my hand finds his, pulling him closer to the beds edge. once his length is over my mouth i run my tongue down his shaft, taking him into my hand and pumping what i cant reach.

"you ready for me baby?"

jj doesnt answer, he grabs my hair and tugs my head down further having me open my mouth before stuffing me full.

i can hear the groan he lets out, its guttural. and hot as fuck.

my tongue slides along his length almost asking to pull him in deeper. but he keeps still for a moment, gathering himself so he can continue.

but i know my boy. hes not gonna wait much longer to be inside me and i have no plans on arguing about it.

after a minute his hips buck forward a bit. "you good mama?"

and of course i cant really respond with his dick in my mouth. so naturally i try to take him deeper, urging him to move his hips again.

his grip on my hair tightened as he buried himself as deep as he could and slowly pulling back out.

poor guy is torturing himself! i havent even done anything, and he knows he doesnt have to go this slow.

he keeps his rhythm slow and steady, and i can feel the anticipation in his muscles restricting himself so i give his thigh a quick tap letting him know to pull away.

"jj you okay? you can go faster."

he lets a groan fall from his already pouty lips, "mama i cant handle going faster. need to be in ya when i bust."

i cant help but chuckle at his admission.

"oh baby. shouldve just said somethin. how you want me?"

i love making his eyes roll to the back of is head. but not like that weird anime shit. you know what i mean?

jj jumps back onto the mattress, back against the headboard patting his lap. "you know i want the girls all up in my face sweetheart. cmon and give me a good ride."

"yes captain," did i always say that jokingly? of course. did he always take it seriously? absolutely.

i climb over his lap, letting my knees rest against the bed sheets.

"youre still on the pill mama? or you still like the idea of me puttin a baby in ya" he looks up at me with pleading eyes, praying i am because he knows that means ill let him in bare. so fucking pussy whipped. i love it.

"jj you wouldn't be in this bed with me if i wasnt, now are you clean?" i have to ignore the baby comment because yea i really really really do.

"if you really believed i wasnt you wouldve have just tried to suck out my soul."

he does technically have a point there. "cant think straight when youre just standing there you know that jj. cmon are you clean or not?"

"youre the only one for me sweetheart. hop on, please. im beggin ya. need you so bad mama its killin me."

"'s gonna be a tight fit. 'm already so swollen down there."

"jesus," his head falls to rest on my chest and its like he all of a sudden remembers i have tits. peppering kisses all over my chest before wrapping his mouth over my nipple as i line him up. "baby you dont even know what youre saying. what its doin to me. got me so worked up im not gonna last long."

"good thing too because neither am i."

letting my weight lower onto him we moan out in unison, grabbing the hairs at the nape of his neck i hold tight as i let the sting of his size settle.

i do adjust rather quickly, seeing as hes been inside me plenty times before.

rocking my hips to start slow, i press small kisses on his hair as his grip on my hips tightens. part of me hopes i have little finger tip bruises tomorrow. they always show through my swimsuits. jj cant get enough of them.

"shit baby i need more.. cmon you can take it. its alright im not goin no where. give it to me."

fuck does he know how to talk me through it.

i raise myself a little only to leave a small drop, increasing the pace with each bounce. because holy shit he just hits that spot every damn time. sometimes i legit wonder if his dick was made for me.

then i roll my eyes at how fucking whipped i sound.

"yeaaa thats it mama. you keep that up, just how ya like it," thats the last thing he says before his thumbs starts toying with my clit and his mouth is once against attached to one of my breasts.

jjs the only guy that ive ever told that i need something else when hes inside me. never once made me feel insecure or guilty about it. in fact, i kind think he loves that he gets to play with me more.

"holy shit- jay- jay im close... you there baby?"

i can feel him nod against me so i move faster, harder, whatever i can do to chase that high im so desperately close to. and i can tell hes close to, hes got a little twitch whenever hes almost there and it feel soooo fucking good. takes me right over the edge.

"yeaaa gorgeous thats it. want me to fill you up? want me to make you my real mama?"

my head buries itself in his neck, covering it in small kisses to muffle my moans as i finish all over him.

and he's not close behind, thrusting up to meet me as i ride out mine, finishing just moments after me and i can feel him covering my insides.

and dammit if i dont wanna feel this way forever.

"so fucking good mama. made just for me i swear..." he mumbles against my chest leaving little hickeys as he catches his breath.

after a minute of just holding onto each other he slowly lowers me to the bed knowing that my legs feel like jelly.

he presses a kiss to my cheek before headed to the bathroom and grabbing us a wet washcloth. he rubs it over my thighs and my stomach and neck before cleaning me up carefully, knowing it helps me cool off afterwards.

"thank you jayj... always so sweet."

"shucks mama dont worry about it, you know ill always take care of you."

after cleaning the both of us up he grabs his muscle tank he was wearing before handing it to me so i can have some coverage while i sleep.

"want me to go out on the couch?" he wondered. always so thoughtful.

"dont be stupid. climb on in big boy."

his stupid sleepy smile is so freakin cute, i hate it.

"night jj."

"night sweetheart. love ya."

i know he says it every time. every night in fact. so why when he tells me that does it put a pit in my stomach?

and just like that, with his arms around me, hes peacefully asleep and im wide awake wondering what the fuck im doing.

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

"That said, both Styles and his therapist have questioned why he cares quite so much about being likeable. This is one of the things he thought about a lot in his big pandemic reflection. In part, it's a choice, he explained. He recalled moving to London after The X Factor and hearing tales of petulant celebrities screaming because someone got their coffee order wrong and deciding to never be that guy, to never give someone a petty reason to bad-mouth him. But more recently he's come to worry that the drive for approval came from a more complex place, a place of caution, fear, control." "Styles said he often spent interviews terrified about saying the wrong thing until he stopped to question what abhorrent belief or bizarre opinion he was scared he'd accidentally reveal and realized he couldn't think of anything."

"And he thought about the cleanliness clauses in the contracts he used to sign, which would dictate that they would be null and void if he did anything supposedly unsavoury, and about how terrified that used to make him. And about when he signed his solo contract and learned that the ability to make music would not be affected by personal transgressions, he burst into tears, a reaction he still seemed shocked by, retelling it to me now, years later. "I felt free," he explained."

"When Styles began therapy about five years ago [so in 2017], he was reluctant initially, feeling it was a music industry cliché. "I thought it meant that you were broken," he said. "I wanted to be the one who could say I didn't need it." He returned to the home theme that has underpinned our conversation, explaining that therapy has allowed him to "open up rooms in himself" that he didn't know existed, allowed him to feel things more honestly, where before he had tended to"emotionally coast.""

"Recently Styles began to work through issues related to intimacy, dating, love. "For a long time, it felt like the only thing that was mine was my sex life. I felt so ashamed about it, ashamed at the idea of people even knowing that I was having sex, let alone who with," he said."

"You look back, especially now there's all the documentaries, like the Britney documentary, and you watch how people were abused in that way, by that system, especially women. You recall articles from not even five years ago, and you're like, I can't even believe that was written."

He has been thinking a lot recently about autonomy, ownership, privacy. About what he should be able to keep to himself, what he should be able to simply communicate through his music without follow-up questions or prying. Around the time of Fine Line, he faced scrutiny around his sexuality. People became incredulous that he wore dresses, waved Pride flags, and yet hadn't clarified with precision, publicly to a journalist or on social media, the specifics of who he'd slept with, how he defined. This expectation is, to him, bizarre, "outdated." "I've been really open with it with my friends, but that's my personal experience; it's mine," he said.

Despite the acceptance that some things could, should, have been different, he still feels lucky every day, he said, lucky to make music, lucky to do what he loves.

"You can't win music. It's not like Formula One," he said. "I was like, in my lifetime, there will be 10 more people who burst onto the scene in that way, and I'm only going to get further away from being the young thing. So, get comfortable with finding something else that makes you happy. I just found that so liberating."

"I just want to make stuff that is right, that is fun, in terms of the process, that I can be proud of for a long time, that my friends can be proud of, that my family can be proud of, that my kids will be proud of one day," he said.

““In lockdown, I started processing a lot of stuff that happened when I was in the band,” he said. He thought about the way he was encouraged to give so much of himself away, “to get people to engage with you, to like you.” He thought about the fact that no baby photos exist of him that aren’t on the internet (you give a bunch to an X Factor producer doing a piece on your backstory without much thought, and suddenly your childhood is online). He thought about the journalists asking questions, when he was still a teenager, about how many people he’d slept with and how, rather than telling them to go away, he would worry about how he could be coy without them leaving the room annoyed. “Why do I feel like I’m the one who has done something wrong?” he said to me.”

— Harry for Better Homes and Gardens Magazine

[beloveds-embrace]

I read your distress from the DukeDom 141 AU and....ajbslywbsoauwjs

You have broken the system, I LOVE the anguish when somehow karma acts and there is divine justice (and König it's divine 🫦🫦🫦)

Do you have some more crumbs for this hungry girl? Pretty please with sprinkles on top? 🥺🥺🫶🏼✨️✨️✨️

Thank you!! The anon who sent the angst ask is just so damn big brained. Phenomenal i hope they know their impact. Enjoy!! 💕💕💕

John stares at you, his eyes unreadable and a little frown on his face. Embers within the fireplace crackle, keeping the study warm against the November chill, while rain pelts against the windows. Despite it being only 2 in the afternoon, the sky is dark and cloudy enough to be mistaken for late evening.

You wait patiently, standing in front of his desk with your hands in front of you. Your face is colder than his.

“So?” You ask at last.

“…why?”

Your eyes close for a few seconds, and then you open them. Your purse your mouth, and then speak.

“Because I want one.” You say, shrugging delicately. “I will be back before the annual winter gala. All work has been finished and submitted, and what can’t be done now has been appropriately delegated with your approval. As such, I would like to go on a holiday, just for a few weeks.”

None of that is an issue, John thinks to himself. You are so cold now, dear wife. Colder than I’ve treated you. None of that is an issue except-

“Who will be you taking with you-“

“König.” You don’t hesitate for a single second. To John, it feels like you are attempting to match the attitude of thunder and lightning outside. “He will be my knight, as he’s always been. I care not for what others guards may join. The estate I’ve chosen already has maids and cooks to upkeep it, yes? That should be everything.”

John wants to say no.

There’s been a shift in you, and he knows they are to blame yet he so terribly dislikes it. König has become your… everything, in a sense. The maids already whispered about you and didn’t help you, and so now you care very little about what they’d say about König being the one to help you get ready for the day. He is your shadow; he brings you food himself, John knows, has seen Johnny grit his teeth and bite his tongue so he doesn’t say how ashamed he feels that he’s made someone feel like they can’t eat his food.

It is aslo König who holds your arm, and takes you on walks. König who listens to what you want, what you ask for, and doesn’t treat you as an afterthought. The one and only time you have spoken to Kyle lately is to simply ask him if he knows where König is.

König was close to you in the way John had been distant to you. In the way all of them had been distant to you.

Now, it feels like you are keeping the distance, despite their attempts at fixing this. It feels like König is keeping the distance, your second shadow. John isn’t blind to the hatred König carries for them, isn’t blind to the possessive way König holds your hands.

And your waist. John had heard how you called out König’s name, one night. He’d seen the delicate way you’d had to sit, seen the way König had been fussing over you.

The implications left his mouth bitter for the rest of the day.

And now….

He wants to say no. He truly does. But if he does it, then he knows he will be subjecting you to more pain. It would mean keeping you here with König, and John having to see it all.

“Very well.” He sighs at last, something green and tight curdling in his stomach. He doesn’t acknowledge it. “I will make sure everything will be ready for you, wife.”

“Thank you.”

And not once do you look at him with that warm, special smile you have only for König.

[back2bluesidex]

Slide - The Trial - MYG

Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader 

Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?

Word count: 1.1k+

Summary: 

"Caught in a daze, I persuade her with my own complications"

Alternatively, 

You have some questions and Yoongi has no answer.

Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics

Warnings: Angst, reader's turning point. Yoongi's suffering has began.

Minors do not interact!!

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon (for early access)

Taglist requests are closed for now

A/N: another Yoongi's pov. before we dive into reader's post miscarriage angst. also, I have tagged everyone who asked to be tagged after I closed the request for the first time but I have only tagged the blogs which have age mentioned in their bios.

Read the next chapter

“I want a daughter first and then… ummm… probably a son too. We will name her Yunri. Yoongi plus Gyuri, Yunri.” Gyuri had told him once, latching onto his arm as if it meant everything to her. 

Yoongi knew he should have felt warmth bubbling in his chest, he knew he should have felt giddy but what he felt was dread running through the entire course of his body. 

Getting married, having kids are two of the things he never planned for in life - not even when he fell in love with Gyuri, not even when he got engaged to her somewhat against his own will. 

But now he feels weird, he feels something really really uncomfortable in his chest as he stares at your weak frail form weeping while sitting at the couch. 

His own limbs feel like jelly as he realizes again that you were pregnant and the baby was his. 

A baby - his and yours. 

Why doesn’t it feel so dreadful anymore? 

Yoongi puts the entire weight of his body on his arms and pushes himself off of the ground. His toes carry his body towards you. 

But he is afraid - what if you push him away now? What if you break when he touches you? 

What if you scatter and disappear in fine dust as soon as he gets close to you? 

What if… what if… all of this is a dream? 

You don’t look at him when he silently sits beside you. It hurts him but he knows better than putting the blame on you. 

If anyone is to be blamed, then it’s him for sure. 

Yoongi opens his mouth to say something - anything. But he only gapes like a fish out of water because his thoughts don’t form a coherent sentence. 

Your face is covered with your small palms, Yoongi wants to reach out, clutch those and apologize to you until you forgive him for all the damages he has done. 

But he can’t. 

Again he is afraid to break you even more. 

“Why.. why didn’t you tell me?” Yoongi doesn’t recognize his own voice when it leaves his throat. There is much more pain than he has heard himself speak with in a while - certainly for the first time after Gyuri left. 

You sniff, then rub tears off your eyes and stare blankly at the ceiling.

The scene is awfully similar to your and his first night together. He still recalls losing himself in those dark eyes of yours little by little and then finally diving into your abyss.  

“There are tons of reasons why. But even if I did, would it change anything?” your voice is completely opposite of his - steady, firm, doesn’t bear a single hint of all the tears he has been watching you shade. 

You are truly just another version of him. 

“That doesn’t answer my question, Y/N. Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” Yoongi scoots a little closer to your body. 

You sigh, a deep, resigned sigh that says you are exhausted - both mentally and physically. 

“If I told you, wouldn’t you think that this is an excuse? For keeping you all to myself? For not letting you go back to the only woman you have ever loved? Wouldn’t you, Yoongi?” You finally look at him, eyes red with continuous crying. 

Yoongi can’t stare into your eyes now. He is ashamed because you are right. He would have thought you are just like other women out there - trying to latch onto him for god knows what. 

He licks his lips instead, prepares to say something but you cut him off again. 

“Also you said … you don’t want to have kids.” your voice trembles now. 

Again you are right - Yoongi definitely doesn’t want kids. But then why losing your and his baby tugs painfully at his heartstrings? 

Why? 

“But I am responsible for your pregnancy, I- I should have been there for you.” Yoongi tries to reach out for your hand but you move away, standing on your weak feet. 

“There’s no point of regretting now. The baby is gone.” you inhale a long breath and then continue, “but I really want to know what you are doing here? At this hour? Right after rejecting me?” 

Yoongi stands up too, somewhat hyper, “I didn’t reject you. I was- I was just shocked. You ran away before- before I got to utter a single word, Y/N. I wanted to go after you but-” 

“But then the right person came to claim you and you ended up lost in her lips, am I right?” you don’t scream but anger is evident in your voice anyway. 

Yoongi recalls the doctor asking him not to stress you out any more. 

“It was a trial, Y/N. Me and Gyuri getting back together was a trial. I knew it wasn’t a good idea but when she begged me- I- I couldn’t say no. I knew I was hurting you too and I thought getting back with her would set you free. But I- I was wrong. I wasn’t free myself. I kept thinking of you.” Yoongi stops, gulps the lump in his throat and proceeds to continue, “I know I sound selfish but I got attached to you during our time together. And it is not meaningless to me as you happen to believe. You are more meaningful than most of the people in my life… including Gyuri. I… I broke things off with her, this time forever. And I came to tell you that… that I want to try being with you. If you’d let me.” 

You scoff, “and why so? Why do you want to try being with me?” 

Your question renders Yoongi speechless. He doesn’t know the answer to your question. 

“Tell me, Yoongi, why do you want to try? What is it that you feel for me?” you press more. Your new found determination of cornering him shocks him, but he knows he is the one to blame. 

And now that he wonders the answers, he can’t find any firm sentence to offer you. 

He still doesn’t know what he feels for you. 

“I- I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel for you.” 

You laugh, dry but dripping with amusement and anger, “then I would ask you to leave. You may only come back with the thought of getting together with me when you are sure about my place in your life.” 

You slowly walk away from him, taking careful steps towards your bedroom. 

Yoongi stands there as he feels the void in his chest getting bigger and bigger. A tear escapes his eyes but he still doesn’t know what he is crying for - you? The unborn baby? Or himself? 

His real trial, probably, begins here. 

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[kurosagi-h8r]

Hii love your little headcanons so I wanted to ask if you can do "what happens when mc asks the ghouls for dating advice"

I don't think mc would ever realistically ask them that but the reactions would be funny💀

WWWWWW SURE DO~~ But i'm gonna make this into parts because i don't think i'm strong enough i'm too frail to write for all of 'em in one go (no joke my shoulder pain has been killing me). so sorryyy ╯︿╰

Jin

Bold of you to assume he's gonna give you relationship advice when he can't fix his relationship with his papa

tbf he's probably gonna look at you weirdly and uhh remind you that you're his slave and nothing more and that any thought of being in a relationship with other people is forbidden

or ask you a bunch of question that will make you feel ashamed that you don't marry rich (with him as the standard) idk

Tohma

Will actually be a pretty decent guy to go for when it comes to dating advice... I think...

"blablablabla who's the guy? is it someone i know? blablabla I suggest you do this and that blablabla why not use me as an example? It won't do you any harm, no?"

"Will you update me on the progress? I don't want to be nosy, I'm simply looking out for you. Too many potential danger lurking in this place and I want nothing less than to sleep at night knowing that you're safe."

Very much biased but he can manipulate me all he wants and i will give in i won't even think twice about it

Kaito

This loser will start crying on the spot thinking that you found someone else already

"I-I never said I found someone..." and a lightbulb will come out of his head thinking that you were asking him SPECIFICALLY because HE is the one you're crushing on. "I've read somewhere that this is one of the things people do to find out more about their crush... THIS IS IT! THIS IS MY CHANCE!"

And all the advice he's giving you are the things that he wants you do to him

Not even gonna be ashamed about it go for it kaito

Luca

Most earnest in giving dating advice. He genuinely wants to help. He's even honored to be the one you go to for such important decision making.

Even if you do it to find out more about him, he's gonna be oblivious 😭 good luck

Honestly i don't have much words to back him up but personally, deep in my heart, i would go to this guy because i don't believe in myself when it comes to this kind of thing. i will trust you to set me in the right path luca ❤ i'll even trust you to beat up the shitty guy in my stead (lol)

Alan

Look me in the eye and tell me he has any dating experience

Not good with words but will stand behind you few steps away as you do what you want to do. Be it confessing your feelings or setting boundaries with your partner. For support 👍

Whether your partner finds it scary or not it's their problem

Surprisingly good at comforting maybe? If your partner breaks your heart and you don't feel like talking it out he will drive you around to clear your head.

Leo

"You're asking me? Oh my God you must be THAT desperate huh."

GIRL JUST ABORT MISSION ATP WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING OUT ABOUT IT'S GONNA GET WORSE IF YOU'RE SEEKING THIS GUY'S ADVI-- *got dragged away*

"Not gonna listen to all that. Why don't we just try making them jealous? You have me and I'm always down for a challenge~"

Ask yourself, which one is worse, making a deal with the devil or Leo?

Sho

Alright listen, depending on how dire the situation is i would want him to pretend to be my bf to make my partner jealous. HE'S PROBABLY GONNA HATE IT but i'm not one to pass up such opportunity /j

biker boyfriend to make your partner jealous??? why the hell not

I can feel him looking at me weirdly "you seriously coming to me for a relationship advice...?"

"How the hell would I know? Get them back with their favorite food? A way to someone's heart is to their stomach or whatever the saying goes." If it's cooking skill you're lacking maybe he can help a little.

[jhoneybees]

Lil Satnin

Another little blurb for you loveLIESSSS, love you so much🫶

Characters: Late 60s!Elvis X reader

Warnings/triggers: kinda proofread, insecurities, crying

Tags: @atleastpleasetelephone @hooked-on-elvis @i-r-i-n-a-a @theelvisprincess @thelonelyheart @polksaladava

_____________________________________________

You sigh.

Why do you look like this? This extra fat on your arms, on your stomach, thighs, face, how is it possible that Elvis loves you?

You're nowhere near as pretty as those girls you see squealing and smiling as they reach up towards the stage for your husband, with their slim faces and figures, in little mini dresses that you sure know are size zeros. Their hair done up in the most beautiful of ways that you have ever seen and it makes you sad that you once had that but now no longer do.

“Maybe he doesn't love me-”

“Honey, are ya in ‘ere?”

“Huh?” Your head whips around, looking away from the mirror as the bathroom door opens. “Oh, hi baby.”

A small smile appears seeing his twinkling blue eyes.

“What’cha doin’ in here?” He asks with a cheeky smirk, gently pushing on the door behind him letting a quiet click echo through the room.

Your head shakes. “Nothing…just…” sighing at your own reflection once you look back. You feel yourself grow even more insecure with him near and hesitantly your arms go around the front of your waist.

Elvis frowns, his smile faltering. “Why're you covering up for?’ the tone in his voice falling to a delicate softness.

You shrug, moving from one foot to the other your head lowers feeling ashamed but it quickly lifts again at the touch of warm, strong, loving arms wrapping around your waist. “El…”

His puppy eyes staring at you in the mirror, chin resting on your shoulder and hands prying your arms away Elvis breathes out a sigh.

“Baby, baby, baby…”

Your heart thumps.

“My girl doesn't know what she's thinkin’ about… all this here…” Rubbing your tummy and pressing a kiss to your shoulder, he groans. “Is all f’me, all of this I love s’much…”

Your vision begins to blur. “E…”

“Makes me happy ta see my lovin' and food is taking care of my baby.”

Your breath hitching, reaching a hand up to wipe a tear. You sniffle.

“She’s my special girl…”

His finger tilting your chin up, your eyes soften seeing all the love he has for you.

“My special lil satnin.”

[morganas-pendragons]

burn | annatar

i cannot BELIEVE i did this but here I am. i tried!!

this is heavily based off of burn by David Kushner. Hurt, no comfort. I am not sure I got his characterization right but I tried! This is not really "Sauron friendly'' as it very much focuses on the evils of his character.

before you proceed: there are themes of abuse in this. manipulation, gaslighting, etc. nothing physical, much of it is emotional. read at your own discretion.

Enjoy!

@thatlittlered

***

All you've ever caused was pain

You can say you're sorry, the evidence is on my

body but I never complain

He had known he was done for when your sweet, innocent spirit had crossed his path in Celebrimbor's forge. You had seen good in him where there had been none. That marked the beginning of your downfall. The beginning of a cruel, unjust end. One you did not deserve.

His words, though only words, were the crack of the weapon against flesh and blood. The weapon that inflicted the wounds you could not heal, no matter how hard you tried to do so.

Blood kept seeping through shaking fingers. You kept trying anyway. No matter what Annatar said, what he did, how hard he pressed, you still kept coming back.

You kept coming back until it killed you.

It's too late, too late to save me, oh, oh, oh

Celebrimbor had tried to warn you. He'd tried to warn you about the lure of the Lord of Gifts, about his covert manipulations and his insistence in making the seven and the nine Rings of Power. You didn't believe him. Why would you?

Not with the way Annatar sought you out in the middle of the night, whispering words of love - false, all falsehoods, every word from his tongue the lies of a snake - against the pliant form of your mouth while his hands wandered and he took, took, took. He always took.

"Why do you continue to seek me?" You ask him one night. It has been weeks since you've fallen into his lure, hungry for the words and touch, for the companionship.

"For the sweetness and innocence of your spirit, little one."

You watched me Burn, burn, burn

It became harder to discern truth from lie. He never professed those feelings in front of others and often changed his entire demeanor and attitude in his interactions with the other smiths. It's confusing. You try to smile through the words others believe are jests, but it is simply him using your own weaknesses against you.

Your chest constricts. The pain flares. You keep going anyway.

As the days go by, you find your mind more jumbled, a mess of words and emotions you cannot place as you fall deeper and deeper into Annatar's machinations. What remains of your innocence begins to slowly burn away. Burning away those precious pieces of you, those piece of you that made you you, until there is nothing left but ash.

You began to recognize yourself less and less.

You watched me Burn, burn, burn

You work diligently with Celebrimbor in a futile attempt to distract yourself. The lure of him is there, a strong tug at your chest that pulls you against your will, despite every rational part of your mind telling you to remain steady.

When you witness Annatar repeatedly hurt the others around Celebrimbor to make him complacent, you've decided enough is enough. The Master Smith does not deserve the cruelty of the snake.

You, however, are willing to be bitten to preserve him. Annatar has already taken so much of you. What more is there to lose?

Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, you're not a prophet Have you forgotten that you're godless?

You step in when the veil is torn in front of Celebrimbor's eyes and the reality of Eregion's fall becomes astonishingly clear. The Elven Smith cannot find it in him to stand against the Dark Lord, but you square your shoulders and swallow the fear as you meet the eyes of the one you love - and you hate that you love him, you hate it so much because you're ashamed of it - before you. They are as dark as the night, and just as ominous.

Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, you're on your knees, and You're tryna speak, beggin' me please, but

"Spare him," You beg. You are willing to grovel, to fall at the altar of sacrifice if it means Celebrimbor will be spared any pain. You don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this. "I sought you of my own volition. I will take your scorn. Spare him."

Tears burn your eyes as you square your jaw and are forced to look up at Annatar Sauron. He curls his fingers under your chin and holds your gaze there. "Remember," He coos. "You asked for this."

Did I though? Did I ask for the physical pain? Did I ask for the sharp words, the harshness of your tone, the way you isolated me..

Celebrimbor screams as you're swept off your feet and collide hard with the floor of the forge. Blood fills your mouth. Your head spins with the force of the impact, and you're just able to twist your head enough to spit the blood from your mouth onto the floor.

Better you than Celebrimbor.

Don't even say what you're gonna say It's too late, too late, baby

"You know, you really had me," You force yourself to your feet and shield Celebrimbor's body with your own, despite very well knowing that Celebrimbor's body is impacted by the arrows that impale his skin and the blood that coats his face and arms. "I really, really thought that you loved me the way you claimed. It was all a ruse. You needed me to help you get close to Celebrimbor, and when I wouldn't do what you wanted, you tore me down in the process. Are you-"

A single arrow pierces through your chest. Despite the pain that radiates through your whole being, you remain on your feet and meet his gaze head-on with a flash of bloodied teeth.

"You win. Are you happy now?"

It's too late, too late to save me, oh, oh, oh

He wanted so badly to spare you. Sauron wished to be able to succumb to that ache in his heart that was eased by your presence, but you were so sweet and easy to corrupt. It would be better this way.

"There is no happiness in suffering," Annatar remarks. You brace yourself for the second arrow. "Especially when suffering is sought of your own volition, little one. I wish you did not have to feel it."

Tears slide down your cheeks, but you do not cry for mercy. Neither does Celebrimbor. There's no point.

You intend to make him remember you.

You watched me Burn, burn, burn

It is the fifth arrow that falls you. You fall to your knees in front of Celebrimbor, close enough that he can comfortingly wrap his fingers around your arm so you remember that you are not alone. "You, Sauron, will be haunted for all your days by the presence of the Ring Maker," You snap weakly, grimacing when he twists the arrow deeper into your chest. "And will be felled by one with too much to lose, who will cause you nothing but utter devastation. Then you will remember."

He cannot help it. Your words pique his curiosity.

"Remember what?"

You crane your neck as high as you physically can before you hiss, "Pride cometh before the fall."

Fire blazes behind his eyes as, with a mighty cry, he plunges one of the discarded daggers on the floor into your heart. Celebrimbor weeps for your loss as you slide out of his hold and onto the floor. You peer up at Sauron as the blood fills your lungs, the shadow of death looming over you as relief washes over your body.

He can't hurt you anymore.

The darkness claims you, and for the first time in months, you are finally at peace.

***

You are not present to the tears that fall at your loss nor at Celebrimbor's loss.

Sauron stands in the tomb of the Great Forge that holds the two bodies of the people who tried so hard to oppose him the most, the one he loved the most, the one who believed so hard that there had been good in him.

How naive.

"Are you him? Are you Lord Sauron?"

Annatar blinks away the tears and turns to face the Uruk, expression grave.

"I have many names."

***

"Lord Celebrimbor fell when the city did. They say that Sauron was his end. He opposed the dark lord until he claimed his life. But the rumor says there was another... someone else who fought with him and sacrificed themselves to Sauron."

"Do you know who they are?"

A shrug. "We never learned their name. Maybe their legacy will be written into the histories of Middle Earth." Forlorn, longing eyes cast themselves upon the smoking ruins of Eregion. "But we will never know."

They will never know you, for he burned you away until there was nothing left to be found.

A shame.

You watched me Burn, burn, burn

[johanna-swann]

Sorry if this feels vent-y but I am kinda done with the ppl that keep blaming Buck for the break up and absolving Tommy completely. I get so many saw him breaking up with Buck to be OOC but to go as far as to claim that it's Buck's fault for moving too fast when it's clearly about Tommy's insecurity is a bit fucked up. I have yet to see a person talking about how it was Tommy who fucked things up, if it was someone else acting out based on insecurity they would have been eviscerated and rightfully blamed but not Tommy ig he's a perfect angel who even if he hurt others it's not his fault for being fragile and insecure.

Well, personally I blame the writers for the break-up, but maybe that's just me.

Jokes aside, the simple answer is that everyone probably has their own personal opinion on this. Depending on your personal point of view, your own experiences with past relationships and so on, you will sympathise with one character more than the other or maybe with both of them equally. It's not a "Team Buck or Team Tommy" situation, we have two men here who both care about each other very much, but who also both bring issues to the table which the other one doesn't know about. It's not a cut and dried case, there's plenty of blame to go around. I have a lot more thoughts about this and I will take this as an excuse to rant, so settle in and buckle up.

The thing about Buck is that we see his thought process. We know which steps he went through, we know his train of thought, we know he's serious about Tommy. So it's easy for us to empathise and understand his journey up to the actual break-up. It's also easy for us to pick up familiar patterns though. Like Buck jumping all in all at once and putting his foot in his mouth a little in the process.

Because Buck definitely shouldn't have dropped "I want you to move in with me" on Tommy like that. As far as we know they've never talked about this topic before, they haven't exchanged "I love you"s yet, Buck doesn't even know if he loves Tommy. In my opinion he should've approached the subject very differently. He could've said: "I've been thinking about the future and I think we should talk about maybe living together in the not so far future." Have an open conversation about it instead of presenting Tommy with a fait accompli. At the very least he should've phrased it as a question, not as an "I want you to do x" statement. Not at this point in the relationship.

But all in all Buck's words and actions are somewhat relatable or at least comprehensible and show that he wants a future with Tommy.

On the other side of the break-up we have Tommy. The only piece of information about his dating history we have is Abby - a relationship that was never quite real, that he probably still feels ashamed about a little and that happened, what, 9 years earlier? At least 9 years. (The timeline is not lining the time as it should, somebody please check if Tim Minear knows how a calendar works.)

My point is: We don't know what Tommy is looking for in a relationship. We don't know if he's been hurt by a serious romantic relationship before. We don't know what he wants for his future in the long run. All the things that made us root for Buck and for this relationship to succeed - we know none of that about Tommy. But we do know that he thinks Buck has the power to break his heart. We know he already likes (loves?) Buck so much that he's terrified what this will do to him if he lets it continue. He'd rather turn tail and run than risk getting hurt by Buck. At least this way he's in control of the situation.

[This is very much the reason they broke up. Buck's mistake was a stupid mistake, but fixable. Tommy ended the relationship and ran. You can't fix something that's already over with someone who's no longer there. But I digress.]

A lot of what we get from their canon dialogue and overall relationship still doesn't add up. If Tommy thought he was just Buck's starter boyfriend, then why did he give Buck a second chance in the first place? If he thought this was never going to get serious, why did he agree to go to his sister's wedding with Buck after only one failed date? If he was afraid of liking Buck too much and getting his heart broken, why did he stick around for 6 months? 6 months is a very long time for a relationship you think will never go anywhere anyway.

It doesn't make sense and even throughout the scene where Tommy very abruptly dumps Buck they framed Tommy as a considerate guy with a big heart who truly cares about Buck. So we assume that there must be a reason. That something must've happened to Tommy at some point which makes him believe that this sort of relationship is not something he can have and that he can't trust this happiness.

If Tommy had a healthy sense of self-worth to go with his genuine feelings for Buck, he probably would've said something like: "Slow down, let's talk this through before we make any decisions." He wouldn't have run. And that absolutely was Tommy's mistake. Yes, Buck was a little over-eager upon discovering that he really can see a future with Tommy, but it was Tommy's responsibility to communicate his thoughts, feelings, needs and doubts. Instead he came up with some half-baked excuse and bailed.

TL;DR: They both made a mistake here. While Buck's mistake was relatively harmless in nature and not the one that put the final nail in the coffin, his mistake was definitely the more stupid one though. Buck fell back into an old pattern and thoughtlessly made a huge jump while just assuming Tommy would jump with him. His mistake was fixable and they could've probably talked this out, but Buck was a little reckless here and didn't really consider Tommy's side. He was too caught up in his own enthusiasm which, again, understandable. But still a little inconsiderate tbh.

Tommy's mistake came from a place of deep seated hurt. Yes, his mistake had the bigger impact, but it's the kind of mistake you empathise with instead of roll your eyes at. He was a coward, but he was a hurt coward.

We've all been there at some point, probably. Maybe not in the context of a relationship, but I've been a hurt coward almost every day of my life, self-sabotage is my second middle name. I feel for Tommy here. And I also feel for Buck of course, he barely even registered what was happening and then Tommy was already out the door. But when we break it down to the mistakes they made Buck's mistake gave me "not again you idiot" vibes and Tommy's mistake gave me "I'm so sorry, who hurt you?" vibes.

[percyweasleyapologist]

Oliver, in Percy’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night?

Percy, knocking Oliver off: WHAT THE HELL?!

Oliver: Ow—

Percy: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor!

Oliver: I had a nightmare.

Percy: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old?

Oliver: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there-

Percy, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL!

Oliver: That is not what I meant—

Percy: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground!

Oliver: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too.

Percy: Yeah, okay-

Oliver: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night?

Percy: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while.

Oliver, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed!

Percy: I did not consent to this-

Oliver, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden!

Percy, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s six-foot-one, he’s got brown hair.

Oliver: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it.

Percy: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me.

Oliver: Oh, maybe together we could—

Percy: NO.

Oliver: Just to save water—

Percy: No! You don’t even pay for the water!

Oliver: …Good point.

[justwhisperingfantasies]

The One That Got Away

Part 2

Characters: Reader, (Y/N), and nicknames babe(s). Jensen Ackles. Jared Padalecki. Misha Collins. Ruthie Connell. Rob Benedict. Osric Chau. Alexander Calvert. Briana Buckmaster. Eric Kripke. Lily (o.c) Abby (o.c) Brett (o.c)

Warnings: Drinking. Language. Angst. A smidgen of smut(not too graphic) Talk of blackmail, Talk of pregnancy loss, Cheating. Talks of past cheating.

Summary: You get pulled back into the magic of supernatural conventions and realize the love you once had is still there.

Word count: 6,275

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗

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Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗

Part 1

Jensen’s P.o.V

Jensen watched you walk away in Ruthie’s arms. He turned to Jared and sighed. “Exactly how much of that did you hear?”

“Well, I came in around blackmail. What the fuck is going on Ackles?”  Jensen explained everything to him. Jared stood there in shock. “That’s pretty much the same look (y/n) had on her face too.”

“So, when you two told me you ended it because you were better as friends...”

“Yes Jared. We lied to you. Hell, we lied to everyone. I didn’t want to be painted fuckboy Ackles, and she didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for her. So, we lied.” He said again. “I’m sorry Jared.”

Jared took a second to process everything. “We tell each other everything. Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me this?”

“I. I don’t know man. I think I was just too ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Where and when did this happen?”

“You remember that party we went to right before the hiatus between season 7 and 8?”

“Yeah… That was 2012, right?” Jared asked, trying to remember.

 Jensen nodded.  “(y/n) had to leave early because the wreck, remember?”

“That’s right. But to be honest I was really drunk, and it was a long time ago.” Jared shook his head. “What I don’t get Jay. You were going to ask her to marry you the next day. I went with you to buy the ring. I don’t see you throwing away everything you guys had drunk or not.”

“Jared, I don’t remember anything from that night. I remember dropping off at the airport. Next thing I know is I’m waking up in a stranger’s bed naked.

“You don’t remember it at all?”

“Nope.” Jensen gestured for them to go inside. “I tried Jared. I tried to find her during hiatus. She wouldn’t return my phone calls. No one would tell me where she was. Then Kelsey called me telling me she was pregnant and started with the blackmail.

“Dude again why didn’t you tell me?”

Jensen sighed. “I didn’t want her to have any more power than she already had. If she knew that you knew she could use me to get you to do whatever she wanted.”

“How did she do it? Like what did she threaten you with?” Jared asked as they made their way to the elevator

“Media mainly. Before she lost the baby, she threatened to go to everyone and anyone that would listen about how I knocked her up and left her and the baby. Then after, I’d be the asshole that left the mother after just losing the baby. I was young and just starting out. I believed everything she said. You know how one dumb rumor can ruin someone’s life or career. I just wish I would of went to my dad sooner.”

“I wish you would have told me, but I understand why you felt like you couldn’t. I’m sorry I should have known something was wrong.” He hit the call button

“J.P Don’t do that; you have nothing to be sorry for. You wouldn’t of had a reason to doubt anything, from what I hear I’m a pretty good actor.” He smiled. Jared let out a soft chuckle “besides we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it, move on, and try to repair the damage.”

“Yea... At least she knows the truth now. Maybe you guys could get back”

“I’m not.”

“Jensen. I was going to say get back to being friends.

“I don’t know Jared she’s pretty hurt and didn’t say much even after I told her.”

“Give her time to process everything. You might be surprised.” The doors opened and they walked through, hitting the button with their floor number.

“I’m not getting my hopes up.” Just then Jensen’s phone went off. It was a text from a number he didn’t recognize. He raised his eyebrows as he read.

“What?!” Jared asked.

“Jensen don’t call Eric. Just think about it.”

“Well told ya you might be surprised.”

Reader’s P.o.V

You woke to a knock on your hotel door. “Go away!” you yelled.

“I have coffee.”  You heard someone yell back.

“Ok hold on.” You rubbed your temples trying to get the slight headache to stop as you sat up.  You got up and looked in the mirror. You quickly ran a brush through your hair and splashed some cold water on your puffy eyes.

There was another knock. “Come on, it’s getting cold.”

“Keep your panties on.” you yelled as you walked to the door. “Lily? What are you doing here? How’s your dad?” you opened the door wider and stepped out of the way.

“My dad is fine. Just a broken wrist.” She handed you a cup of coffee stepping through the doorway. You closed the door behind her. “The truck not so much, but it could have been way worse.”

“Well, that’s good. But what are you doing here?”

“Rescuing you.” she said sitting down on the sofa.

“For real?”

“Yep, you’re off the hook babes. You can go home.” She looked up from her coffee. “What’s that look?”

“What look?”

“That look. He got to you.”

“Lily. It’s not like that.”

“Ugh I knew you coming here was a bad idea. I swear I’m to kick.”

“Lil. I have to tell you something.” You sat beside her and told her everything. 

“Oh my god.”

“I know”

“Oh my god!”

“Can you say anything else?”

 “So, he didn’t love her.”

“Apparently not.”

“I thought something felt off, but I just thought it was the energy from whatever happened between you two.”

“Lily you’re not psychic”

“But I am psychic adjacent.”

You rolled your eyes. “That’s not a thing.”

“Wait. Not trying to be a Debbie downer here, but how do you know he wasn’t lying?”

“He wasn’t lying.” you assured her.

“How do.”

“Because I know Lil.” She looked at you. “Trust me I know.”

“Oh my god. So does this mean y’all are gonna get back together?”

You sighed. “Lily, I can’t.” she gave you a puzzled look. “don’t look at me like that you know why.”

“Right.” She took a drink of her coffee

“You still love him...”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Jensen’s P.o.V

As he waited to go through the curtain for the morning gold panel, he couldn’t help but wonder if she would be sitting in her seat. He smiled at the thought.

“You ready man?” Jared asked. He nodded. “Let’s go.”

They walked out on-stage waving and blowing kisses at the crowd. His eyes glanced down hoping to see her face. Nope damnit. The women sitting her sitting in (y/n)’s seat waved. He furrowed his brows but waved back. What the hell was Lily doing here. Did (y/n) leave?

“Jensen you ready for questions?”

“Yes, sorry. Need more coffee.” He said the cup in his hand with a smile, the audience laughed. “Alright, your blue hoodie.”

. She left and the only relationship you would have at this point would be professional. Come on Jensen head in the panel he thought

“Jensen? You ok man? “Jared asked nudging his arm

“Yep. What was the question?”

Jared repeated it to him, and he did his best to answer it. As the minutes ticked by and the questions kept coming, he tried his best to stay focused. He managed it for most of the panel except when Jared got a question and his mind started to wander, but Jared knew what was going on, so he tried to keep Jensen engaged in conversation with his answers.

“Alright. Thank you, guys. We love you all. Take care.” They walked to the opening of the curtain. “Ok how bad was it?”

“The beginning was rocky, after you got out of your head it was bad at all.” Jared promised him. “You gonna be, ok?”

“Gonna have to be.” 

Jared sighed. “Is there anything I can do?”

Jensen smiled. “Unless you got a Jennie, not really”

“So, you boys have some time before your meet and greet. Y’all hungry?”

His whole body froze. She didn’t leave.

Reader’s P.o.V

Jared spun around, “(y/n) we thought you left.”

You took a step back and raised your hands. “Do not pick me up Padalecki!”

He laughed. Jensen finally turned around.

Jared could feel the tension between the two of you. “let’s go get some grub.” He turned around and started walking. You and Jensen followed.

You and Jensen followed in awkward silence.

“So have you thought about the part?” you asked Jensen

“Yea. I think it would be fun. He is a complete dickhead though.”

“Oh, a total scumbag, but.”

“You’re really going to defend him?”

“I agreed with you.”

“With a but.”

“Ben is the character you love to hate. You know he’s fucked up and yet you find your self hoping he will do the right thing. Who knows maybe this whole asshole thing is just a front.” Jensen raised his eyebrows at you. “The guy has ptsd, been tortured by the Russians for years, screwed over and used by Vought, screwed over by his own team and the woman that supposed loved him. I think if we got the right guy to play him, he could be a real fan favorite” You nudged into him.

“Why do you have such a hard on for this character?” he asked as he opened the green room door for you.

You took a step, then turned to him “I guess I just have a thing for assholes.”  You teased.

Jensen’s jaw dropped. “Wow! That was a cheap shot.”

You walked to the fridge and pulled out 2 bottles of water, tossing one at Jensen. He caught it and took a drink.

“Plus, you’d look good super suit, Ackles.” You said laughing as you sat on the couch.

He chuckled and sat beside you laying his arm across the back of the couch behind you.

You heard the door open and looked up when you heard your nickname. “Babes! You’re still here?!” Misha sat down on the other side of you. “And still wearing that Cowboys hat I see.” He flicked the bill of your baseball cap.

“Be careful Collins. If you hurt this hat I will hurt, you.” You pulled the bill back down and stroked it. “And yes, every game day.”

“Is that the one you stole?” Jensen chimed it.

“I did not steal it.”

“Yes, you did. You came to grab me for a scene.” He winked at you  “You asked to borrow it because you didn’t have a scrunchy.” 

“I’m still borrowing it.”

“10 years later?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.

“Yep.”

He smiled and shook his head.

Before you could stop it, the memory was already replaying in your head.

Year 2008:

“We gotta get back babe, Sgriccia said 25 minutes.”

“I don’t want to.” You protested.

“Trust me. I’d rather lay here with you like this.” He lifted the sheet for a peek “Come on just a couple of scenes and we will be right back here. Exactly like this.” He waggled his eyebrows making you smile.

“Promise?”

He smiled. “I promise.” He kissed you.  He got up and picked your clothes up and laid them on the bed.

 You got dressed and looked in the mirror. Your hair was a wreck. “Can I borrow a hat?”

“A hat?”

“Yes, someone made my hair all messy.” You pointed at him and mouthed the word you, making him laugh. “I don’t have a brush or scrunchy to fix it and I know your ass has a million hats around here.” He handed you his new Dallas cowboy’s hat. “Thank ya love.” He nodded with a smile.

“You ready?” he asked holding out your coat for you.

“Yep.” You put your arms in and turned to face him. He gave you one more kiss. “I love you, Ross.”

“I love you too baby.”

Jensen cleared his throat bringing you back. You looked at him, his eyes told you he was reminiscing as well. You shot up off the couch and awkwardly walked over to the fridge. You opened it and pretended to look for something.

“Look who I found.” Abby said walking through the door with Lily following her. “Did we plan a reunion this weekend?”

You smiled. “Don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love seeing our faces, Abigail.” She narrowed her eyes as you said her full name. you blew her a kiss with a dramatic mwah sound.

“Hey, are you guys going to Rob’s thing tonight?” Jared asked you walk

“What thing?”

“I guess Louden Swain is having a pop-up at the bar across the street tonight.”

“I don’t know.” You looked over to Lily who was attempting puppy dog eyes with her bottom lip pouted. You sighed. “You guys and you’re damn puppy eyes.”

Lily’s face perked up. “Is that a, yes?”;

“Yes.” You said walking toward the door “Come on boys. Meet and greet time. Jensen and Jared followed you. “You too Lily?” you held your elbow out to her. She linked her arm in yours and you walked out the door.

You watch Jensen and Jared interact with their fans with a smile on your face. You felt someone nudge your arm. “Hey there.” Osric said.

You smiled at him “What’s up Oz?”

“Nothin. Hanging out.

“Sounds fun.”

You look back at Jensen. He was watching you. His face was hard, and his brows scrunched together. You raised your hands and eyebrows in a what gesture.

“He’s jealous.” Osric said.

“Oh, shut up. He is not.”

“You want me to prove it?” you rolled your eyes and Osric put his arm around you. You watched Jensen’s jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.

 “Don’t piss him off. You shook off Osric’s arm. “But why would he be jealous of you?”

“He knows I had a thing for you back in the day.”

“Speaking of things from back in the day.” You nodded your head towards Lily who was walking up carrying 2 carriers full of coffee cups. Osric smiled.

She sat down the 2 cup carriers she had in her arms and pulled out your coffee. “Here you go.” She said holding it out to you.

“Lily you could ask for help ya know.”

“Eh I’m used to it, Oh, hey Osric. How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Good, good.” The awkward tension made you cringe. He said, “Here, let me help you” he picked up one of the carriers.

“See ya around Babes.” He winked at you, and you nodded as they walked away.

Jensen’s face relaxed and you shook your head at him. His attention went back to his face, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched. He was so good to his fans. He smiled at you and your heart fluttered. Man, why did he have to go and fuck everything up? You stood there pondering how much different you life would be with him.

“So, can I ask how the whole babe/babes thing started?” An unfamiliar voice made you jump. You looked over to find Alexander standing next to you.

“Really?! Nobody’s told you the story?”

“No. Everyone just says that’s what we’ve always called her.”

“Hmm. Ok. So back in season 3 Jensen and I started dating, everyone kind of new, but nobody really pressed us about it. We wanted to stay professional on set and around our co-workers. One day Jensen let babe slip out on set. Padalecki and Beaver started calling me babe to mock him and it just kind of stuck. Next thing you know everyone was doing it.”

“How long did you guys’ date?”

“Almost 4 years.”

“So, what happened?”

“We were just better off as friends. I guess,”

“I call bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“It seriously took you almost 4 years to realize you were better off as friends?”

“Babes.” Abby walked over to you “Can you take the boys out to lunch for me? I got something I have to take care of.” Abby grabbed you, you waved and Alex nodded as she drug you away.

“Am I gonna get paid for today?”

“Put it on my tab.” She smiled at you.

You made your way over to the table as the event ended.  “Y’all hungry?”

“Starving.” Jensen said and Jared nodded.

“Well come on. We are going out for lunch.”

“Who’s we?” Jensen asked.

“You, Jared, Lily, and me?”

“Ok I’ll go.”

“I mean if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that. I just don’t wanna be the third wheel to you and Osric.”

“Really Jensen?”

“Well, you looked pretty cozy a minute ago.”

You rolled your eyes. You motioned Lily and started walking toward the elevators. She met you on your way. “You, ok?”

“Jensen being Jensen.” you looked over your shoulder, the boys were a way back but following.

“So, Lily, You’re a cast p.a now?” Jared said trying to relieve the awkward tension in the air that lingered around the table.

“Yeah, It’s a lot of fun. So much better than a grip assistant.”

“You gonna follow in (y/n)’s footsteps and become a writer?”

You smiled at her. “No. I could never. I really don’t know how she does it. It’s amazing. I wish you could read her work right now. What she did with Soldier Boy was awesome.”

Jensen’s eyes snapped up to you and your smile faded. “You wrote Soldier Boy?” he asked.

“I helped develop him for television.” His green eyes leered at you. “I did not create him myself.”

“Helped?” Lily continued “Eric loved everything you suggested for him. She made him so good. He’s a dick, but you got to love him.”

You sighed and went back to your plate. “Hey Eric.” Your eyebrows raised when you heard Jensen say Eric’s name. “I’m good bud. How are you?”  He laughed. You looked back up at him. Shit he was probably going to say no. You didn’t think Eric would fire you over it, but it wasn’t out of the question. “Well, you know I had to get woo-ed first.” He laughed again. “Yeah, she is good at getting what she wants huh.” More laughter. “Yes sir. Write me up a contract. Me and Frank will meet up with y’all” He listened. “Alright man I’ll talk to you later… bye” he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. Your phone buzzed. You looked it and read the message.

Eric: Thank you!

You smiled as you turned the screen off and put your phone back on the table. The waitress came back over “Can I get you guys anything else?” she batted her eyes at Jensen, he flashed a smile at her. “No darlin’ just the check.” You rolled your eyes as he winked at you.

You stepped up to the elevator’s call button and pressed it. Jared and Jensen walked up as you waited. Jensen stood beside so close your arms were touching. The doors open and you start to walk but Jensen stopped you. “We’ll meet y’all up there. I have to talk to (y/n).” Lily looked at you and you nodded. The doors shut.

“What?” You asked but he stayed silent and then pressed the call button once Jared and Lily started going up. “’Jensen. What do you want?”

The second set of doors opened, and He gestured you to go first. You got in and leaned against the back wall.

“Ya know babes, You’re pretty cute when you’re jealous.” He pushed the button for your floor and turned around.

“What?”

“The waitress at lunch. I noticed your eye rolls and dirty looks.”

You sighed. “Have you ever heard the story about the kettle and pot?”

He gave you a flirty smile.  “So, what if I was?” He closed the space between you and slid his hands on your face, bringing his lips just inches away from yours. His eyes searching yours for a refusal, but you didn’t give one. His lips captured yours in a passionate kiss. Electricity coursed through your veins. Before you could stop them, your arms wrapped around his neck deepen the kiss further. His arms found their way around your waist pulling you into him. The elevator dinged and reality set back in ending the kiss.  He rested his forehead on yours.

“Jensen.” you whimpered between pants.

“Please don’t ruin this.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t.”

“Just tell me why and it will never come up again.

“I’m getting married.

 “Bullshit. Padalecki would have told me.” He tilted his head to kiss you again

You pulled back. “Jared doesn’t know.” His eyes shot open.

“When?”  

“5 weeks.”

“You’re getting married in 5 weeks and you didn’t invite Jared?” He asked, bringing his forehead back down to yours.

“Family only. You know I never wanted a big wedding.”

His face scrunched in pain. “Do you still love me?”

“Jensen...” you blinked back tears.

Your breath hitched as his hands smacked his palms against the wall. “Just answer the question!” He demanded.

You couldn’t stop the tears any longer. You nudged him. He didn’t move. “Jensen Please.”

He stepped out of the way, and you walked off the elevator. Your phone started to ring on the way back to your room. Your phone started to ring. Fucking fantastic you thought as you saw the name.

“Hey,” your voice cracked as you answered your phone.

“What’s wrong?” Brett asked.

“Nothing.”

“Eric just told me the news.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Congrats. I didn’t think you’d be able to actually pull it off babe.”

You hmphed. “Well thanks.”

“Don’t take it like that. Hey gotta go Angela needs me.”

“Oh of course.” The tears started again.

“Don’t be like that. She’s, my boss.”

“And she totally has a thing for you.”

“You’re Being crazy.”

“Yep. I’m the problem.”

“Seriously? I gotta go. Can we finish this later?”

“Yep.” You hung up

“Hey, what happened?” Lily asked as you opened the door.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You threw his hat on your bed and headed for the bathroom.

Jensen’s P.o.V.

“The answer was always going to be yes, J.p” he said as they walked off the elevator. “I just wanted more time with her.” “And did it help?” “Kind of yea.” Jared rolled his eyes. “I guess in a fucked-up way. At least the truth is out now. Maybe y’all can work on being friends now.” “I don’t think it will ever be the way it was. He said as they started across the street. “Well maybe you should try to find a new way to be friends with her.” They walked through the doors and the bar was packed. “I gotta pee. I’ll be right back.” Jensen pointed at the bar and Jared nodded. Jensen’s eyes scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found. “She’s not here yet.” He sat down on the barstool next to Ruthie. “But she told me she was coming and she’s not one to break her word.” She took a drink. “You guys ok now?” “Honestly Ruthie. I have no idea. I did something stupid.” “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.” she teased. “Oh, gee thanks.” He smiled. “I was being malicious dear, just trying to say you do dumb shit when you’re in love.” “Do you know?” Ruthie’s eyebrows creased, “In 5 weeks.” “Yes, I know.” She sighed. “He’s an arsehole. I wish she would see it.” “Really?” “I shouldn’t be telling you this.” She took another drink. “We’ll blame it on the whiskey.” She winked at him. “I know you would treat her a million times better. Hell, she probably knows it. She’s just letting the past scare her.” He opened his mouth, but she put her hand up. “I know Jensen. But you will have o prove it to her.” He nodded. Jared walked back up and their phones went off at the same time “The cowboys won!!” Jared yelled, turning around. And leaning his back on the bar. “Finally stopped that losing streak.” Jensen said as they bumped fists. “You want a beer?” Jared nodded. Jensen go the bartender’s attention “3 Coronas Please.” Jared gave him a puzzled look. “She’ll be here.” The bartender sat down the beers and Jensen handed him his card. “Start a tab.” The bartender nodded. “Thank you.” “Dude.” “You can send me your half later.” “There she is.” Jared yelled and Jensen turned around on the stool. Damn she looked good. Tight jeans, white tee, He smiled when he saw she still had his hat on, but even with the makeup he could tell she’d been crying. “How bout dem boys? Huh?” She smiled. “What are we drinking?” “Whatever you want princess.” Jared teased. “Tequila.” She turned around. “Bri. Come do a shot with me.” “Hell yea.” “Ruthie. You want one?” “Not tonight boys. We have an early flight tomorrow.” She told them. “I’ll take Ruthie’s” (y/n) said. “I’ll do a second one with her.” Bri said Jensen raised his eyebrows. “You’re gettin drink tonight huh?” “I’m having fun tonight.” She smiled again “Alright.” Jared counted. “6 shots of tequila please.” The bartender brought over the shots with lime slices and a saltshaker. Jared picked up the saltshaker “Hands.” Jared said and licked his own hand. The three of them licked between their thumb and index finger, then held them up to Jared. He poured salt where they licked. “Limes” he said as he handed them each a lime. “Shots.” He handed each of them a glass and brought his into the center of them. They clinked their shot glasses together as they licked the salt and then took the shot. “Ready for another one?” Bri asked you “Yes ma’am.” Jared held out the saltshaker and the girls repeated the process. Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the face she made when she took the lime out of her mouth. “Still not a fan of limes I see.” “No not really.” She confirmed. “I gotta pee.” Bri grabbed (y/n)’s hand and drug her to the bathroom. Jared turned to Jensen. “She’s been crying.” “I know Jared.” Jensen cleared his throat. “My fault.” “Maybe we should just lock you two in a room and let you scream it out.” Jensen chuckled. “Keep buying Tequila shots and it will probably happen.” “I don’t know Ackles. She’s the happiest drunk I’ve ever seen. Might make the situation better.” Jared smiled deviously. “Well judging by that smile, I guess we will find out.”

Reader’s P.o.V

“Ok spill.” Bri said as the bathroom door shut.

“What?”

She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “the way you guys are looking at each other, ya know like you used to.”

“Bri. I’m supposed to be getting married in 5 weeks.”

“What?! You and Jensen. Oh my god final.”

“No not Jensen. His name is Brett. He works with me on the boys.”

“Oh. Why the supposed to be.”

“I don't know.” You told her about the conversation you had earlier today and the big fight you had before you came out. “When I told him I was going out with my supernatural friends, he lost his shit.”

“If he doesn’t make you happy. You need to call it off.”

“But everything has already been paid for and its not bad all the time.”

“Do you really want to get married because everything has been paid for?”

“You have a point.”

“Look just have fun with us tonight. Really let your hair down. You deserve fun. Tomorrow go home and hash it out with him. If you guys can’t come to an understanding, I’d say kick him to the curb. Deal?”

“Deal. Now go pee so we can go back to drinking.” She chuckled with you.

“Another round of shots?” Jared asked as you walked up to them.

“Maybe we should slow down a bit J.p.” Jensen suggested.

“Aw what’s wrong cowboy? Can’t handle your liquor anymore.”

He raised his eyebrow and gestured for another round. “Add another one.” Jensen told Jared as Lily walked up.

“Lily!!” You and Bri yelled together.

She smiled. “Really boys? I leave her alone with you for 5 minutes and she’s taking tequila shots?”

“I am a grown up. and I’ve only had 2.

“Bout to be 3.” Jared said turning around with the saltshaker. “Hands.”

“Can we get a lemon slice please?” Jensen asked the bartender. He sat the shots down and got in the fridge.

“Thank you.” You smiled.

The 5 of you repeated the took the shots and slammed the glasses on the bar.

“Bri!” you heard someone yell.

“I’ll be back.” Bri said and walked away.

You sat the deflated lemon slice on the counter. Leaning on the bar closer to him than you probably should have. “Is this for me?” You asked, pointing to the extra beer sitting by Jensen’s.

“Yep.” He said and picked his up.

“Well thank you.”

“No problem princess.” He teased and you squinted at him.

“How much time before they come on?” Lily asked.

Jared looked at his watch. “About 45 minutes.”

“(y/n), let’s go play a song” Lily said pointing at the fancy jukebox. You grabbed your beer and followed her.

“Really babe, Tequila shots?” she questioned you.

“Yes, Tequila shots. Lily, I have had a rough week. I want to have a fun night with my friends. So quit being a buzzkill and have fun with me, please.”

“Alright.” She walked up to the bar. You started scrolling through the songs. Lily came back over holding 2 shots. Your jaw dropped. “Let’s have fun then.” You clicked the glasses and took the shot. You turned back to the jukebox as she took your glass and returned it back to the bar.

“Yes!” you slid your card and tapped the song you wanted. You looked over at Jensen who smiled as soon as the music started. “His eyes are cold and rest” You sang “And his wounds have almost healed.” His smile got bigger.

“And she’d give half of Texas, just to change the way he feels.” Jared belted out making you laugh.

“She knows his loves in Tulsa.” You yelled back at him. Making your way back over to the boys.

“And she knows he’s gonna go.”  Jared said turning to you

“But it ain’t no women flesh and blood, it’s that damned old rodeo.” You and Jared sang loudly. Everybody laughed.

You turned to Jensen who was shaking his head. “What’s wrong Ackles, did you forget the words?” you teased him.

“No, just not 4 shots deep yet, darlin.”

“4?”

“Her and Lily snuck one without us.”

Jared shook his head at you.

You smiled. “Better catch up Padalecki.”

He looked over to Jensen. “2 more Jay.?”

“Come on Ross. Live a little.”  You gave him a cheeky grin.

He chuckled “Alright let’s go.”  He got the bartender’s attention and held up 4 fingers.

“Hello?” lily answered her phone. “Yes, Brett she’s right here hold on.” You rolled your eyes as she held her phone out to you.

You took it and put it to your ear. “Hey. Hold on.” You turned and walked toward the door.

Jensen’s P.o.V

“Who’s Brett?” Jared asked as he and Jensen sat their empty glasses down. Thank you for asking Jared. Jensen thought to himself.

“Another writer on the show.” Lily said as she stepped up to the bar and ordered a drink.

“Why is he calling your phone looking for (y/n)?” Jared asked clinking glasses with Jensen before they took the second shot.

“He asked if she was ok. She wasn’t answering her phone. She probably forgot it and didn’t want to go back up.”

“My tab.” Jensen told the bartender as he took Lily’s drink and held it out to her.

“Thanks Jay.” She said as she took it from him.

“No problem.” He grabbed his beer.

“Come on Ackles. Let’s go play some music.”

Jensen nodded and followed Jared over to the jukebox.

“Did she mention this Brett guy to you?” he asked Jared as he slid his card in the card reader. He picked a song “You’re up.”

“No. Why would she?”  Jared asked searching for the song he wanted. “Now You.” They switched spots.

“I don’t know. It just seems odd.” He searched for her favorite. Jared rolled his eyes.

“You’re over thinking it. you need to get out of that jealous ex-boyfriend headspace bro.”

“I know its just hard with her.” He makes the final choice. “Done.”

“Jared!!” Mark yelled from one of the tables.

“I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be at the bar.”

Jensen started back to his seat to find (y/n) sitting in it. “I think you’re in my seat little lady.”

She spun around to face him. “Well, ya know what they say about moving your feet.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re lucky.” He stood beside her leaning on the bar.

She smiled. “Or you’re just yellow bellied.”

He laughed. “I’d watch that mouth.”

“Oh, or what?”

“You really don’t wanna go there.”

She giggled. “So tough.” He smirked and shook his head.

He leaned against the bar and took a drink of his beer. “So, is everything alright? Lily said that Brett guy was worried about you.”

“What did she tell you?”

“Just that he’s another write for The Boys, you weren’t answering your phone, so he got worried and called Lily’s phone. Where is Lily anyway?”

“Bathroom.” She took a drink. “Everything is fine.”

“You know I know when you’re lying right?” Jensen asked and took a drink of his beer.

“I’m not lying we got into an argument, but everything is fine now.”

“An argument about what?” She stayed silent. “Ohh that’s him. huh. The guy you are supposed to marry?”

“Yea.” She sighed. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Thought we were trying this whole friend thing out?”

“So be my friend and drink with me. I wanna have fun. Make me forget my problems.”

“They’ll still be there in the morning.”

“Then I’ll deal with them then.” She took the last drink of her beer. “Or I can just got get Bri.” She got the bartender’s attention and pointed at her beer.

“Another for you sir?” the bartender asked as he sat down (y/n)’s beer.

“Yes, please and 2 more shots.” She smiled.

 “Oh of course you’d play this song.”

He smiled. “Mama told me, When I was young.” Her face lit up when he started singing, making his heart do a little flutter. "Come sit beside me, my only son, and listen closely to what I say, and if you do this it'll help you Some sunny day"

“Still got that pretty voice huh?”

“Guess so.”

The bartender sat the shots on the bar. “Uh what’s this?” Lily asked as she walked back up to you and Jensen. Jared was right behind her.

“Thought y’all were going do one without us?”

She looked at him and giggled.

“Add 2 more"

Reader’s P.o.V.

“Come on I wanna get a good spot.” Lily yelled.

Jensen grabbed your hand “follow me.” you grabbed Lily’s hand, and she grabbed Jared’s arm. Jensen led you guys almost to the front. You stood next to him looking down at his hand still holding yours. “Sorry.” He let it go.

You didn’t know if it was your feelings or the 6 shots of tequila you had, but you felt kind of disappointed. You shook it off. The band came out and the crowd went crazy. You couldn’t help but smile at Jensen as he cheered. Just as Rob started to sing some big muscle bond guy stepped in front of you. Blocking your view.

Then you felt his hands on your shoulders, pulling you in front of him so you could see. He dropped his hands, but you could feel him behind you. Lily came over wiggling her hips and singing along with the band. You downed the rest of your beer and started to do the same.

“Lily!!” you heard someone yell. You look over and Lily is dancing her way to Osric. You leaned back and found Jensen’s neck pulling his ear down to you. “Is your jealousy cured now?” you pointed over to them, they were dancing together now.

He brought his lips to your ear. “Almost.”

“What does that mean?”

"Still got one more to get rid of." He licked his lips keeping his bottom lip in his teeth.

Shit maybe the tequila was a bad idea. You couldn’t stop yourself. You had to fill his lips again. You pulled him down, smashing your lips together in needy desire. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Pulling you to him, you parted your lips and shivers ran up your spine when he slides his tongue on yours making you roll your hips. He let out a small growl and thrusted his hips. letting you feel his hardening shaft on your ass. Making you moan softly. He pulled back and spun you around. His hands found your ass and pulled you close again. And his lips were back on yours. Your arms slid around his neck. Pulling him into you just as hard as he was pulling you into him. He double tapped your right thigh, and you brought your knee up to his hip. Flames shot from your core as he hooked his hand under your ass and pushed his hardness into you. You trailed kisses up to her ear.

“You wanna get out of here Cowboy?

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[shadowed-dancer]

I saw the Wicked movie and I cannot get over how amazing it is (no spoilers)

Everyone is such a good singer like they cast ACTUAL singers and it shows

It’s so bright and colourful!!! I was so nervous they would go for “gritty and realistic” but that opening number healed my soul

It’s not ashamed of being a musical. It’s fun! There’s dancing!

Despite only being part one it’s paced so well??? Like you really feel like you get to know these characters

(I’ve seen a few people question if it was necessary and honestly I think it being split is more important for part two. The second act always felt a little weak, so I think being able to expand on it in its own film is gonna do wonders)

Spoilers

The cameo of Idina and Kristen made me squeal. I was not expecting it at all and I got so excited

I loved the part when she said the “de-greenify you” line and the glass made it look like she had normal skin. When I saw the glass I was like “omg please do it please please please please” and then they did and I was so happy. It proved to me that someone was paying attention and was willing to be creative in the direction

Seeing Dorothy and her crew walking to the emerald city in the beginning… I don’t know why but it made my heart happy

Also the old timey title??? It made me feel like a little kid it just felt so perfect

[zalder]

“We screw the best things up,” Zarah was quick to admit. She loved people. Loved humans but she wasn’t ashamed to admit that they were the ones who created everything truly negative that she could think of. At the end of the day, the cats were innocent and that was why she’d always love them. “I wish I made someone’s life better just by my sheer existence. I feel like we might be the ones who make it far more complicated than it is though. I mean, the cats might have the right idea. Eat, sleep, play and find someone to take care of you for all your days.” Though if all humans started to lead cat lives, she wasn’t sure who would take care of them. She supposed that was something for a higher being to figure out. “They do though. I mean, if you’ve ever been lazy and just wanted to go to sleep but haven’t fed your cat, they’re going to make you feel guilty until you take care of them. The videos of baby animals, especially the ones where they grow up before your eyes is great.” She nodded before adding a joke. “I’ve found that humans taste more tangy than sour.”

“They just exist. Humans have to go and mess everything up,” Joella said. She was happy with her cats. Even though she had a strong circle of friends, she was known as the crazy cat lady because she loved her cats. “We don’t deserve them. They make us so happy just with their existence and what do we do? Just keep doing the worst things,” she shook her head. “But I feel like animals also make us try to do better. Somehow. Maybe not right away, but they do make us happy. Who doesn’t start smiling whenever they see videos of baby animals?” She hummed. “Hypothetically, yes. Unless someone is just a sour, terrible human.”

[deoidesign]

For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)

It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!

I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!

It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up

[tacagen]

one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!

((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))

but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS

(and, well. whatever this classifies as)

[bedforddanes75]

somehow i think closer by nine inch nails is deus in absentia coded but Idk it just makes sense to me like the way i'm thinking about it is waaay too harsh for them but in the same vein it's just harsh enough to be some kind of stereotypical vintage 80s esque kink stuff (girl pls) and i really like when people use kink as a way to express vulnerability and i think it should be used more Actually. i just really like this song