#what am I ashamed of?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Art is my religion. Has always been. And I’ve never divided it into high and low. There’s a story a bit lower down my wall about the god of Arepo. About the god of small things. Because small things and dedication to them matter.
I can perceive that things are not the same. But it doesn’t matter. When you’re broken sometimes it’s the grandeur of history and hard work that saves you. Sometimes it’s the warmth of a well-known path. Sometimes it’s a change, a hope for everything in the world that is good. Sometimes it’s a moment to wallow in pain, description of the ugliness of the world. Everything is important. Everything has this potential to touch, to reach, to embrace.
I HATE “loving things ironically”. If a thing sparks something in me, I’ll burn with it until there’s nothing left of our love.
Everything deserves love, everything deserves this dedication. It doesn’t mean we should be head over hills over every single thing ever. But that we can be - over anything.
UPD: oh. It seems I’ve ratatouilled myself.
#wtf is this post?#I don’t know#but trigun broke something in me#yet I keep trying to belittle it#and every time I stop myself and wonder why#what am I ashamed of?#why was steppenwolf more appropriate to devour and lick to the hone?#bone#why do I feel ashamed of my love - all of it#to people and to things#I do#I do!#I say art is my religion#and I honestly… don’t like religion#to put it mildly#like I really really don’t like the idea that I’m a follower on this sense#is it desire for freedom?#but I hate all the Buddha like talk just as much#well no#it’s more complicated actually#but#urgh#who cares
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
watermelllon i want
#one piece#one piece fanart#monkey d. luffy#luffy#banana peel head#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#im ashamed of the amount of tags.#why am i getting spooked about posting my art broother what
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Long car trips mean hunch over my ipad and film dumb stupid videos in restaurants at 11pm 😍 (future me screw u idk if it’s shaky also do not perceive me)
(That one vine)
Also have the things
#I didn’t even plan to use this audio LMAO#it worked ig I just added words#hijack#jackycup#it’s so wild yall car trips fuck me up cuz what do u mean I slept 4 hours straight and now there’s snow#IN CALI??#ate some bomb ass food tho while filming and my sis just stared at me the whole time 😔#ig that’s how toofthelss greets people LMAO#expressions are fun#I may not animatic but I can sure hope and dream#if u see this no u didn’t#a little loopy it’s fine yall#edit: omgf ITS SO SHAKY I AM ASHAMED#TY FOR LIKING THIS BUT ALSO WOW DO I KINDA HAYE IT#😔 it’s ok I’ll just dig a hole and lay down for a while it’s fine
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
As promised, incredibly stupid s4-5 drawings
#i didn't sign the one I actually colored but it's fucking fine I guess I'll redraw it later anyways#I am never satisfied when I color my shit in fr#martin blackwood you are the realest of the fucking real for asking your man to eldritch-equivelent block someone cuz youre jealous#hate him all you want he's out here speaking the truth#he wants that twink obliterated because he's jealous and he is not ashamed to admit it!#i have so many thoughts and feelings about s5 so far that I must commit to paper hruyggnm#one of which being that Jon is wearing martins flannel in the fucking eminem pose I drew him in#it's the little things I say as I go ever so slightly more insane#my art#the magnus archives#tma season four#tma season 5#tma#tma spoilers#tma fanart#tma podcast#the magnus pod#martin blackwood#jonathan sims the archivist#jonathan sims#jon sims#god i hope those tags arent for the real ass dude#jonny why did you name the poor meow meow after youself man why#jonmartin#good god what is their ship name#jmart#tma jmart#jmart fanart#“ceaseless watcher. show me this guy's balls”#please do not do that I'm quoting a meme
801 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm back!
ok so 2/3 days ago i found this youtube video where op turned Springtrap (or well, William Afton) into a fully build DnD character, and if i say so myself: things got out of hand fast
so here is my take on DnD Springtrap and specifically on that build (adding more infos under the cut for who is interested, i suggest to watch the video first)
starting with saying that unless you're playing in a scifi setting, this build is either not for you or to be modified, since in later levels spells are heavily centered around technomagic and electronic devices; personally when i will play him i will probably tinker around with the chosen spells and cantrips to make him less violently niche and/or more versatile
which kinda saddens me because it takes away not little of the characterization but, given most dnd stories take place in a medieval fantasy or high fantasy setting, a cantrip like On/Off or a spell like Remote Access are NOT particularly useful; so i will go for more psychic damage or necromancy oriented abilities, maybe i might take more than just 4 levels in artificier as well (especially given that again, all of those warlock spells at later levels are all technology oriented) but i need to see what those offer
however it is a kinda tank-y build given that with a shield on you can get up to a 27 of Ac, so even with low damage and not much hp you would not struggle too much to stay alive, and i like that!
as for the character himself, i put too much effort into my interpretation not to share it, so if anyone wants to play this guy as well, i fabricated a possible backstory that might come useful:
The character goes by the name "Dave Miller" (or whatever variant you want to use), and was originally a human artificier who created constructs for a living, mainly with the goal of offering aid to who needed it for whatever reason.
After losing part of his family to some kind of accident he became terrified of death, so with age he started replacing his own body parts with machinery to delay his last days (which made him a cyborg), until the point where he was very very close to become just a robot.
There however he ran into an issue, that being that a robot need a power source, and his own heart and lungs could not sustain a whole robot by themselves.
Through particular and very much not illegal experiments tied to necromancy he discovered that the life force of a living being could be shared, and used as a form of fuel. (possibly: age lived of the creature used= amount of extra months you get)
Here comes the second problem: this only worked with intelligent creatures, and more specifically, it worked best with creatures of your own race, which meant that he either went around murdering people or he found another solution. Non same-race creatures worked as well but not as good and there were not easy to find in the middle of a city and with a shop tied to your name.
And here is where and WHY he'd join a party of adventurers: after some time, his reserves or fuel were running VERY thin, and running into a group of adventurers was a god sent because by joining their party he essentially got a free pass to kill whoever he wanted, and reduce them to a dried raisin after sucking some life force out of them. Doing so you learn that the mowe powerful the creature is, the more energy it produces as well.
Your goal, that you as the player are following, when role-ing your character? essentially slay whatever powerful BBEG your Dm throws at you and suck all of that juicy fuel out of them, so that you can return to your little shop in the middle of the capital and return to create and sell whatever weird construct, doll, or robot comes to your mind for another few decades undisturbed.
And this is it. I think this might be a good backstory that could fit pretty much any setting you want to play this guy into, be it classic dnd or some scifi futuristic thing.
of course you don't NEED to use this one line per line, make up your own without looking back if you don't like it lol, dnd is the "make up shit and have fun" game after all!
Edit: also no his outfit makes no sense, i just went with vibes and decided a tanktop dress shirt, a twin tailed gilet and suspenders OVER said gilet was a good choice.
#not an ask#my art#illustration#fnaf#artist on tumblr#illustrtation#fnaf 3#fnaf 3 springtrap#springtrap#fnaf fanart#purple guy#fivenightsatfreddysfanart#william afton#fnaf 3 fanart#how many fucking tags there are about this guy jfc#dnd#dnd character#dnd art#dungeons and dragons#dnd charcter art#dnd artificer#dnd warlock#you have no idea what that video has done to me#i am not sane i am not normal#especially not about this guy#he was my first husbando and i am not ashamed of saying it#in retrospect maybe i should have taken the hint that i was into weird fucks lol#five nights at freddy's#IGNORE THE WRITING AT THE TOP OF THE FIRST IMAGE#that's from a graph i made to explain a friend when/if i use the robocock/robopussy when i draw/write robot smut
427 notes
·
View notes
Text
bandiboo doodle pile
#crash bandicoot#neo cortex#crashtex#and coconina. i am so intrigued + invested in coconina. idr if they've interacted before but their friendship would be beautiful + precious#i just...... love cortex..... he is so.......... flamboyant + pathetic + a failure cartoon evil scientist. i want him#wait who said that? i said it. and i'll say it again. i know who i am + what i like + i will never feel ashamed
317 notes
·
View notes
Text
some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
254 notes
·
View notes
Text
For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
271 notes
·
View notes
Text
them: yOU SHOULD BE ASHAME-
us:
#the more obnoxious the better#i mean unlike OTHERS at least it’s my culture and i’m not culturally appropriating other people’s symbols#yET y’all think we should be ashamed#the audacity#jewish#jumblr#antisemitism#israel#am yisrael chai#babyyyy#THIS GOES TO ALL THE JEWS: DONT FUCKING DO IT - YOU KNOW WHAT - DONT FUCKING ASK ME WHERE THE CLUTCH IS FROM
371 notes
·
View notes
Text
google how to kiss that rogue. oooon tge mouth.
#basil blabbers#'posts isabeau would make' LOOK I BEAT YOU TO IT BEFORE YOU COULD MAKE FUN OF MEEEEE#I KNOW WHAT I AM IM NOT ASHAMED
210 notes
·
View notes
Text
You introduce your friend to f1 thinking it’ll be so fun to have someone to talk to about your obsession and then they ask you things like “what’s brocedes” and “what’s webbonso” and suddenly you have to relive things like brocedes and webbonso
#these men changed the way my brain works and I am deeply ashamed to admit that but also… it is what it is I guess#Lewis Hamilton#formula one#f1#Fernando Alonso#nico rosberg#formula 1#mark webber#webbonso#brocedes
207 notes
·
View notes
Text
another unfinished art dump
👁️👁️ *COUGHING INTENSIFIES*
TW! pov: he's sitting on us and choking us? It's not graphic at all and looks really unfinished, but, still, I thought that I should add a TW. I won't finish this ever, choosing to see this weird thing is on you, little freaks!
Ok here we go
Pov: you didn't give him kromer (jk, no, he's a good guy, he wouldn't do that. Not canon, guys, not canon)
A (supposedly) clearer depiction of what the heck is happening here: (+ ooh the hand)
...
I am FULL of SHAME!
⚰️*falls into a coffin dramatically*
#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#suggestive#choking#??#spamton#deltarune#I am ashamed once again of what I have created#but you don't have to be😏#AAAH I did not say that. I did not say that#tw: choking#tw: strangulation#I added all the tags now I think?? ok I hope this is enough#this is the second time in a row that I drew spamton in a really weird context. omg
156 notes
·
View notes
Text
After many hours of work… it’s finally here
Shane isn’t the most verbally affectionate person, but when he is it’s one of Callum’s favourite things- even if Cal can’t take compliments very well ;)
I might do this in full colour at some point but I was really fucking with just the simple shading 😌
(simpler version under cut before extra detail cause I like the colours better):
#oranges art#I took my sweet time with this one folks#like three or four days with lots of breaks#but#genuinely one of my favourite things I’ve done so far#it just feels so them#and what their intimacy looks like a year or two into ‘officially’ dating#I love these two freaks so much#also I am very aware Shane is in nothing more than boxers#I’m not saying that was intentional#however#it was absolutely intentional#and I’m not ashamed#think of it like post showers after a long day#both getting comfy for bed#nothing more…#>:)#n e wayyyyyy#gonna stare at my own drawing for the next five to ten business days#sdv shane#stardew shane#stardew valley shane#sdv farmer#stardew farmer#stardew valley farmer#sdv oc#stardew oc#stardew valley oc#farmer callum
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes it pains me that people, whether they're bigots, allies, or sometimes even other trans people, will only ever see me as trans first, and anything else second
one of my biggest fears is people remembering me for being trans, and not for being an artist, a writer, or any of my other meaningful accomplishments
"He was very good at what he did—for a trans man."
#could you at least reduce me down to being a gay man instead#I feel so much more connection to being a man that prefers the company of other men#than to my transness which feels like the most minuscule and unimportant part of my experiences personality and life#I fully understand why it becomes hugely important for others#and I'm certainly not ashamed of what I am#but it pains me so much that that's all they'll ever see#and to be totally honest I encounter this so much more WITHIN the community than without#I think a lot of people could stand to remember that the human comes before the labels
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
seeing logan all happy & smiley in his post quali interview getting excited about his lap & explaining everything actually fixed something in me
#i am so happy for him#he really loves what he does & talking about it & this time he can without feeling ashamed#logan sargeant#logie bear#f1#formula one#formula 1#silverstone 2024#british gp 2024
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
this was made especially for those of us who cut ties with our shitty families, huh
i cried so much this whole episode. i know that i can't be in that house and be who i am at the same time, but the guilt and shame never really go away. i love that this episode said, wholeheartedly: fuck what society says, you should be wherever allows you to be happiest
anyway! you always hear that family estrangement is rare in asian communities, but i did it! and you can do it, too! dump your shitty family! i believe in you~
#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna#it's incredible like i don't think i fully realized how ashamed i feel until this episode had me ugly crying into my blankie#especially because the abuse was invisible and people say: oh everyone's family says harsh things! it's because they care! they love you!#and no matter how hard you try to explain the magnitude of what was done to you people still shrug and say but they're *family*#not that there was ZERO physical abuse but like. that's just How It Is in the community i grew up in so it's not a Reason reason#and that's all aside from all that's expected of me as the child of an asian family (that i am simply doing none of)#FUCK i guess i just compartmentalized all of this so securely i didn't think it could bleed out anymore#thanks tsukutabe. i guess?#this show is RELENTLESSLY coming for me this season too like explicitly stated asexual rep? a treat for me personally!#idk i never expected an asian drama to be so clear about this especially because kasuga's abuse was invisible too#and the idea of not sacrificing yourself for your parents is COUNTER to what you're supposed to do#i am just VERY EMOTIONAL right now#i love kasuga so much and it was rough to see her going through it but i am SO HAPPY that she's accepted and loved
140 notes
·
View notes