#but trigun broke something in me

[prstmmprhdl]

Art is my religion. Has always been. And I’ve never divided it into high and low. There’s a story a bit lower down my wall about the god of Arepo. About the god of small things. Because small things and dedication to them matter.

I can perceive that things are not the same. But it doesn’t matter. When you’re broken sometimes it’s the grandeur of history and hard work that saves you. Sometimes it’s the warmth of a well-known path. Sometimes it’s a change, a hope for everything in the world that is good. Sometimes it’s a moment to wallow in pain, description of the ugliness of the world. Everything is important. Everything has this potential to touch, to reach, to embrace.

I HATE “loving things ironically”. If a thing sparks something in me, I’ll burn with it until there’s nothing left of our love.

Everything deserves love, everything deserves this dedication. It doesn’t mean we should be head over hills over every single thing ever. But that we can be - over anything.

UPD: oh. It seems I’ve ratatouilled myself.

[lonichedgehog]

Shattered

[catholic-character-tournament]

FINALS - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇��

Wolfwood

I love him. Man who has no faith in himself or humanity or god with so much blood on his hands, fighting for something he knows he can never see come to fruition in person. He carries his own literal cross and grave marker on his back. Just… he’s so iconic to me.

I'm sure I'm not the first to submit him. But I did it anyway. I hope he wins and I'll do anything in my power to make sure he does

Dude is literally a priest who carries around a giant cross. Yes he uses the cross to murder people but that is besides the point. Also he has a mini church he carries around for on-the-go confession services.

hes literally a priest(hes not a priest in the reboot but he is in the original and thats what matters to Me). he carries around a cross that is actually secretly a gun with guns inside that gun. he runs a church/orphanage. he carries around a portable confession booth and charges people money for it because he is broke as fuck. he dies bleeding out over an alter begging to god for forgiveness he doesnt think he deserves. he is everything to me.

look at this man he's a priest with a cross shaped gun that (spoilers) dies against the side of a church while waxing poetic about life and redemption (/spoilers), this is the Catholic ever.

Wolfwood is liiiiiterally Judas coded in the text. AND his weapon is a massive cross that turns into a machine gun and a LASER. Not to mention his religious trauma. Oh baby. The religious trauma.

Homeboy literally walks around with a giantass 300lb machine gun shaped like a cross called the Punisher. Hes a priest/undertaker depending on what version of trigun you reference. Grew up in a church orphanage. Also literally walks around with a portable confessional box for people to pay to confess to him. Need i say more.

HE IS LITERALLY JUDAS. he is literally leading the jesus allegory to his doom. hes also in love with the jesus allegory (vash). he is also carrying arouns a giant cross rhat is also a gun. hes literally catholic and judas and his tits are perfect. in one piece of official art he's wearing a cross choker. also the catholicism on gunsmoke is about making vash submit. wolfwood looking at that pathetic wet mess of a man oh i can make him submit easily.

He literally carries around a giant cross and is referred to as a priest by multiple characters. also he offers people confessionals

He carries a huge machine gun that is in the shape of a cross that is really heavy (he is strong) and his boobs are huge. So you know hes serving cunt in a god honoring way. Also in trigun 1998 he brings around a small chapel that he uses as a portable confessional and in trigun stampede he holds funeral services as an undertaker which are way overly priced. Also he dies very gayly (basicly confessing his love to his best boy friend forever)

Nick's funny bc he's probably the least Christian acting guy but is literally a preacher. There's a running gag with Vash asking some variation of "what the hell kinda churchman are you?" His gun is a gigantic cross. He rides a shitty motorcycle in the middle of the desert.

ok so thematically the main conflict in trigun is about peace vs violence and its represented by the characters vash and knives respectively. the two aren't /technically/ angels but thematically and through imagery they are and are comparable to michael and lucifer specifically. ANYWAYS. vash and knives are the characters who are constantly pushing and pulling at wolfwood's morality, sort of like a "the devil and god are raging inside of me" kinda deal. his grappling with his morality and faith is a big factor in his character. also he has a giant fucking gun shaped like a cross. and he dies in a church while praying.

Bros an orphan who grew up at a Catholic orphanage and taken away to be trained and genetically changed into a supercharged assassin for interworldly beings that have lots of angel imagery attached. Guy thought he was just going to be taken to become a missonary...instead he got 6 years of religious trauma. He still wears a cross necklace and holds it often. His gun is a literal cross "full of mercy" (its a missile launcher). He never really believed fully in the faith or anything, but the way he interacts with it is FASCINATING. He's jaded by the planet he lives on and his upbringing, and makes him say his most iconic quote: "We're nothing like God. Not only do we have limited powers, but sometimes we're driven to become the devil himself." He prays to a God he doesn't know if he actually believes in, asking for another day— for hope for the human race. The organization hes part of (The Eye of Michael) works for an interdimensional otherworldly being that has an incredible amount of angelic metaphor and imagery attached who intends to purge the planet of humans... and ends up siding with that guy's twin brother who is so Jesus coded it's insane. They are best friends even as Wolfwood is acting under instructions to babysit and watch him for his twin brother. He dies after facing down against his old mentor (named Chapel) and his pseudo brother from the orphanage who was taken into the Eye as well and his Jesus bestie buries him and sticks his cross-gun in the ground after losing his shit crazy style and using his pseudo alien angel Jesus powers to lash out at his brother for being the cause of Wolfwood's death. Rest in peace king

64.media.tumblr.com

via @monvment

Sister Michael

She drives a DeLorean. She does judo on Fridays. She likes a good statue and despises the French. Her full nun name is Sister George Michael, after the guy from Wham!. She is the fiercest nun you’ll ever come across and, if you’re attending Lady Immaculate College, she’s the woman in charge. So whatever you do, if you’re feeling anxious or worried or just need a chat: don’t come crying to her.

joined the nunnery for the free accommodation?

she does love a good statue it has to be said

She is the headmistress of a catholic school <3

sister michael so reminds me of the nuns who taught me. they're tough and sometimes a little harsher than a woman who dedicated her life to god should be but they're also wonderful people. i had a nun teacher who was 60 years old and would do handstands. another nun (also in her 60s) told me god was nonbinary. another was really mean and made me cry. (so did the handstand nun.) while the catholic girls school is The Catholic Experience, the school wouldn't have been the same for me or the derry girls without at least one nun who seemed to have sprung up out of the ground fully formed, ageless.

[vashyr]

୨۪୧  ִ  　トライガン 　⁝ 　𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘥 　𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘥 　 ֺ   ⑅ 　( ♡ )

— 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘯-𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘢, 𝘝𝘢𝘴𝘩 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦. ִ  ۫  ˒

˚꒰♡꒱‧ Have been rewatching Trigun on repeat and had to fix this scene <3

You had been sitting by Vash’s side for what felt like days, watching his chest rise and fall steadily as he lay unconscious. His injuries were severe, and the toll on his body had been too much to bear. Ten days had passed since he’d collapsed, his face pale, his body fragile. You had held his hand through it all, praying for him to wake up, hoping that when he did, he would find some peace.

But peace was never something Vash could hold onto for long.

When he finally stirred, his eyes opening slowly, you felt a wave of relief wash over you. “Vash,” you whispered softly, leaning in closer as you brushed a strand of hair away from his face. “You’re awake…”

He blinked a few times, his vision still hazy, his body sluggish from days of rest. For a moment, he seemed disoriented, as if he wasn’t sure where he was—or when. Then, suddenly, it all came rushing back. His memories flooded his mind, sharp and painful, and the color drained from his face.

Wolfwood. Legato. The gunshot. The blood.

Vash’s body tensed, his breath quickening as his eyes went wide with horror. He sat up abruptly, ignoring the pain that shot through his body as he clutched his head in his hands, his whole form trembling.

“No…” His voice cracked, raw and filled with anguish. “No, no, no…”

“Vash!” You reached out, your hands gently holding his arms, trying to calm him down, but he didn’t even seem to hear you. His breathing grew ragged, and tears welled up in his eyes, spilling down his cheeks in silent streams.

“I… I killed him,” he choked out, his voice barely a whisper. “Legato… I pulled the trigger… I—” His breath hitched, and he shook his head, his hands gripping his hair like he wanted to tear it out. “I murdered him.”

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, your heart aching at the sight of him unraveling in front of you. “Vash, it’s not your fault,” you whispered, trying to soothe him, but he only shook his head more violently.

“No! It is my fault!” he cried, his voice cracking with the weight of his guilt. “Everything is my fault! I-I let it happen… I let them die! I let Wolfwood—”

His words broke off as his sobs overtook him, his body shaking with the force of it. You could feel his agony, his grief pouring out like a dam that had finally burst. He buried his face in your shoulder, his tears soaking into your shirt as his hands gripped onto you like you were the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.

“I should have been stronger,” he babbled, his voice muffled against your skin. “I should have stopped him… I should have—” He gasped for breath, struggling to even speak through his tears. “I… I just wanted to save her…”

Your heart broke at his words. This was Vash, the man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, the man who believed so deeply in protecting everyone—no matter the cost to himself. He had always fought so hard to save others, but now, the toll it had taken on him was more than he could bear.

You held him tighter, your hand gently stroking his hair as he sobbed in your arms. “Vash, listen to me,” you whispered, your voice soft but firm. “You did everything you could. You’re not a murderer. You were forced into a situation you never wanted, a choice you never should’ve had to make.”

He shook his head again, his tears continuing to fall. “But I… I failed… Wolfwood’s dead because of me, and Legato—” His voice cracked, his whole body trembling with the weight of his guilt. “I don’t deserve to be here… after everything I’ve done…”

You gently cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. His eyes were filled with so much pain, so much sorrow, that it nearly took your breath away. “Vash, you are not responsible for everything,” you said softly, your thumbs wiping away his tears. “You’ve been carrying this burden alone for so long, but you don’t have to anymore. I’m here. You’re not alone in this.”

His gaze searched yours, his lip trembling as he tried to form words, but all that came out were more choked sobs. He leaned into your touch, his body collapsing into you as if he were too exhausted to fight anymore. “I’m so tired…” he whispered, his voice so broken that it sent a shiver through you.

“I know,” you murmured, pressing your forehead to his. “You’ve done so much, Vash. You’ve fought so hard… It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to grieve. Let it out.”

He clung to you, his sobs gradually softening, though the pain in his chest was still raw. The weight of his grief wouldn’t disappear overnight, but in that moment, all you could do was hold him, offering him the comfort and warmth he so desperately needed.

You ran your fingers through his hair, whispering reassurances as he slowly quieted down, his breathing evening out. His body still trembled slightly, but the tightness in his chest began to loosen, the warmth of your embrace grounding him.

For the first time in a long time, Vash allowed himself to let go—if only for a moment. In your arms, he felt safe, like maybe he didn’t have to bear the weight of his guilt alone anymore.

Maybe, just maybe, he could find some peace in your presence.

⸺ (⠀©⠀)⠀𝆬⠀ ○⠀vashyr⠀ .ㅤ ও

[mayfly-stampede]

why is Vash distant with Meryl and Roberto?

(warnings: long post ahead, ep 5-8 spoilers, Trigun maximum manga spoilers)

after saying they were friends

after he insisted in looking them inside the worm and risked his life to save them

After all that…

“They’re not my friends”

(Yes, that broke my heart too T_T)

what happened?

Well, we have to accept Vash has met and helped and saved A LOT of people in his life cause (SPOILER) he has lived many, MANY years.

In the manga, he meets a lot of people in his adventures and we don’t know if he sees them again (even though we know they’re worry about him and are waiting news from him). Rosa in TS is a reference to this. She met Vash time ago and talks with him like a good friend.

But Meryl and Roberto are just another two more he just met like many others before them. Have they done something important for Vash that makes them more special to him? …Not really.

Maybe in the car when Meryl is worried about Vash not eating in three days…and we know him, he could pretend to be asleep but actually is aware of everything. He could heard her…

nevertheless he says goodbye to them really easily. Specially cause he is going to confront his older brother and doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, just like the friend he lost the day before.

And now he is distant with Nicholas too (SPOILER) cause after he defended him, he killed Rollo.

Clean, one shot…Impressive.

Who is Nicholas really? Why is he following Vash?

What if getting Nicholas away from the reporters and letting him believe Meryl and Roberto are not special to him is the best chance to keep them safe?

And when he reunites with them again, he is genuinely surprised and maybe worried like “I just got you out of my typhoon life and now you are here again??”

That reminds me all the moments in the manga when Vash recognizes he just can’t get rid of the insurance girls following him everywhere.

He is under their supervision to avoid disaster…but that gives them more like a passive role where they are just there keeping an eye over Vash.

at the beginning, the girls just follow him like Meryl stampede and Roberto are doing right now, and like Vash ‘23, Vash in the manga doesn’t interact too much with Meryl and Milly when they just met (he hides from them actually).

In 98’ anime, he asks them to stop following him when his situation was too dangerous for them.

And even though they’re good fight partners, Wolfwood is the only one who can fight side to side with him, so they have more adventures together most of the time without the girls.

Maybe that’s why we feel a cold relationship with Meryl and Roberto, cause Vash is always fighting and running…

And when Vash ‘23 sees them again he doesn’t have time to talk. He has to protect them and the other people in the sand-steamer, defeat the Bad Lads and then go back to help Nicholas, who actually does have a heart and has someone to protect, so he can’t be that bad…

And now that he knows they helped him in the sand-steamer all we can do is wait and see if their relationship evolves…

[bowlinggwithmargo]

Hey All! I finally finished a five-part essay exploring multiple sibling dynamics from multiple animes using something I've dubbed the Goliad Dilemma.

The dilemma and essay are structured based on the Adventure Time episode Goliad.

I'll be analyzing:

Johan Liebert and Nina Fortner Naoki Urasawa's Monster

Millions Knives and Vash the Stampede from Trigun

Donquixote Doflamingo and Donquixote Rocinante (Cora) from One Piece

Hyakunosuke Ogata and Yuusaku Hanazawa from Golden Kamuy.

Asking important questions like:

How did Francis Bonaparta shape Johan outlook on the world?

Why is Knives so pathetic?

Did Doflamingo care about his brother?

What the fuck is wrong with Ogata?

And more...

Essentially, I'm trying to answer how these sibling relationships became so twisted in the first place (which sounds easy, but it surprisingly isn't because this isn't a question of morality but rather of how these siblings broke apart, who is responsible for them fighting against each other, and how the core traumatic event that befell them led to two different outlooks on life.)

There are also some nods to Twin Peaks, Dororo (2019), Succession, and Camouflage (1977). I recommend other supplementary media for you to check out and dig into the themes of nihilism and existentialism present in each work.

This essay was a six-month labor of love. I would love it if you could check it out and let me know your thoughts! :)

[scoundrels-in-love]

30 Years Old Achievement Unlocked!

Usually, I had a Follow Forever post ready for my birthday, as a thank you for filling my dash and heart with blorbos and fun this year, but today I decided to have a bit more introspective one, looking over the last decade offline and almost same time that I've had on Tumblr. As a reminder for myself and maybe it can give some encouragement to others that are going through the slog of their twenties.

But first, yes, a thank you to people that have deeply shaped this decade, with their presence and sometimes, their absence. I can't ping the person I miss the most, it doesn't reach across the fog that clouds the way beyond the final goodbye, the parting that cannot be spoken, but I can ping the people who helped me stay on this side of the mist, in the aftermath. (In vague alphabetic order.) Thank you for everything, for being there for me through thick and thin, however you're capable, thank you for being you.

@aviss @bienchanter @binary5tar @carrot--cube @cup-ah-jho @deenakahara @fiovske @firesign23 @it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined @justdontevenknow @kdramaxoxo @lostindramas @mesoperi @sdwolfpup @spacepandar @tazzmanien @youholdthewater @zigackly

Also a special thank you, you are amazing and have done for me more than I can explain, to wonderful people of Trigun fandom. You made this year bearable, you pushed me to create more than I have in ages not with violence, but your love for what I had to share. And many of you have become friends I hope to keep for the forthcoming decade!

@aluvian @cosmixseerart @chickiefoo @dingusttmax @fionnrose @ladymaliwan @needle-noggins @noaafishfieldguide @kiaraalazulu @koontyme @madnessmadness @tardisready @zeearts @zillychu

I am definitely forgetting someone in these pings and I will blame it on my old age (just 3% of my entire lifespan, though!) and I am sending all the lovely people I talk with, who interact with my posts and so forth, people I follow, so much love (and Irish coffee cream cake).

Now, onto some loving achievements of the decade:

Survived and accepted my neurodivergence, began to start to accomodate for it and seek help for doing so.

Began participating in fandom.

Published over 170k words for various fandoms.

Learned to gif.

Realized I have checked the box 'No' on sexual & romantic attraction and gender starter package slip.

Conceptualized designs for my tattoos.

Dyed and bleached my hair for the first time. Figured out I like it short.

Continued to develop my style and grow more comfortable with my body and appearance.

Got Wolverine arm implants after I broke it badly.

Left my country and saw a band I love live.

Saw my internet friends in person for the first time.

Sailed on a boat and stood on the edge of sea at midnight, crying from happiness.

Finished education and kept job despite health issues.

Started playing DnD and even DMd a little.

Made my friends laugh so often I lost count.

Laughed often myself.

Took so many photos of things I love.

Learned so many cool animal facts.

Heard new favorite songs and continued to love old ones.

Read things that changed something in my very soul.

Wrote something that inspired a fanart and podfic.

And more and more and more. There is always more, more things that you and I can ever predict, more sorrows, yes, but more joys as well. And I think, looking back at 20 year old me, I'd say... It was worth sticking around for.

So, for the next life year and decade I want to say I'll try to:

Continue learning being kinder to myself, accept my limitations and accomodate them.

Write, write, write.

Take so much more photos.

Laugh until I cry more often.

Make people wheeze.

Travel more and especially to the seaside.

There always will be more to do, but I like these goals.

Thank you again, for everything, and here's to the next year, next decade and next lifetime.

[shadowofroses]

Rejected idea

Trigun

Reader x Vash

Warning: afab reader, itsekai, Vash is a flirt, mechanical worker Reader, reader has some scars and high pain tolerance.

Summery: I wanted to do a Itsekai Trigun wise, and I realized there was a better way to go about it, and now have a hard time working with this idea. Currently, but will be carrying the Reader idea over to the new one etc, but I wanted to share what I did cause I did like it.

Story idea:

You lifted yourself from the vehicle’s engine as oil decided to squirt out onto your face causing you to twitch. “Dammit Sam, why is it every time something fucked up happens to your vehicle I can’t understand how it got fucked up?!” you lifted a rag from the side and wiped the oil off of your face while the man busted up laughing. 

“You got me!” 

You sighed at that. Looking down at your tank top and scarred up skin from fights you had to break up. “No way in hell I’mma find myself a partner…” You muttered to yourself. 

“What was that Scrappy?” 

You rolled your eyes, “How the heck did your wife put up with you? You must’ve broke everything.”

“Har har. I have you know I am heavily packin’ Lil’lady.” The slightly balding gray man said with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows causing you to deadpan. 

“Ew. Did not need to know that.”

“WELL YOU ASKED!” Sam snickered, placing a pipe back into his mouth and puffing it.

You scoffed, throwing a wrench into his general direction as a cloud of sand picked up in the distance. “Yeah, I regret it!”

“Incoming!” 

You turned your head just in time for a vehicle to stop, putting on its brakes hard and someone in red flew off the top of the jeep and past your right ear. 

“I’M GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!~” you heard before you and Sam heard a thud, turning to the noise, you saw what seemed to be a man in the sand, luckily not hitting Sam’s house. He was wearing what looked to be a red duster jacket coat, his butt and black pants clearly visible as his head was buried in the sand. 

You quickly jumped off the engine and ran over grabbing the man by the waist and tugging at him, “Ah! Sir, are you okay?!” You called out just as you tugged hard enough to pull his head out of the sand, causing you to fall backwards and him landing backside on top of you causing your soul to leave your body. 

The man coughed up sand, turning around, seeing you, his eyes widened, and seemed watery, and sparkly? He grabbed your hands in his, helping you up, “You saved my life! Thank you! You must be an angel! How about I treat you to a drink~” 

Your eyes nearly crossed in confusion, “HAH?!” 

Sam however was bent over howling, as the man’s friends came barreling out of the jeep. “I’m so sorry Vash!” came a feminine voice. 

“You know damn well she did it on purpose!” came a rougher voice. 

“I DID NOT!” 

A man in a darker suit rolled his eyes, moving to light a cigarette. “Princess here was directed here for brake work.” 

“MY NAME IS MERYL!”

You felt your chest tighten as you realized who all surrounded you. Sam had called this planet No Mans Land at times. But it never clicked that this was Trigun that you were itsekaied into.

Nicholas noticed your recognition of them which made him pause to stare at you this time. However Sam slapped your back, “Just brake work? No problem Scrappy here will take care of it.” You blushed at the name but only nodded, at least before you realized Vash was still holding your hands, causing your face to go darker.    

You pulled away from his hands reluctantly as you turned back to the group, not catching Vash’s pout. “I don’t suppose you can pull it into the shop here or will the brakes make it difficult?” you tried to distract yourself, walking over to their vehicle. 

Meryl nodded giving a glance, “as long as I give it a small nudge…”

Roberto gave you a look, “Do not let her, give the keys Newbie.”

“EXCUSE ME?!” 

You gave a chuckle, “That is fine, just take it out of park and turn the wheel. I’ll hook it up and pull it into the shop.” you jogged off into the machine shop, grabbing a heavy hook and running off back to their vehicle hooking the underside. “Sam, hit the…”

“Yeah yeah, yer not my wife, stop bossin’ me around!” the man slurred his words speaking fast, as the chain tugged and started to pull it in as Meryl quickly hopped in to steer it into the shop. “Ya folks hungry?” the man questioned as you went into the shop. 

You shot him a quick glance, “Also, you fucking had that wrench I threw at you stuck in the belt. I’m not fixing your shit anymore.” before you went to crank their vehicle up, causing the older man to bark out laughing. 

“Starting to think she’s catching on that I’m doing it on purpose.” he said with a grin causing Roberto to smirk and shake his head. 

Meryl hopped out of the vehicle as the three guys followed Sam into the main house, “So, what do you think?” 

You dodged under the vehicle. “I don’t know, Meryl is it?” 

You couldn’t see it but her eyes brightened at finally being called by her name. “Yeah, and they call you Scrappy?”

You reached for some tools, and loosened some bolts. “Oh yeah, these brakes are stripped, and actually the name’s (First name) (Last Name). The old man found me not long ago, and gave me the nickname since I haven’t died yet.” you grunted, “Luckily just the back breaks, should be an easy fix. You want me to look at the engine too?”

Meryl’s eyes widened, “OH GOSH PLEASE DO! I just remembered that I forgot to charge it!” 

You lightly smiled, at least this wasn’t far off from what you recalled of the anime. “We don’t have a plant here, but I can steal Sam’s charge from his vehicle. Run inside and get some food while you can.” you told her, as you got to work on replacing the breaks. You heard her walk off and you sighed in relief. It was a good hour before you managed to attach the new ones. Hooking up the jumpers between Sam’s and theirs you easily charged it. 

It was nightfall before you finally got finished. You yawned, wiping some grease off of your face again. The old man talked them into staying the night, as the next city was within a couple hours drive. Roberto stayed with Sam, Vash and Nicholas stayed in the extra spare room where Sam’s kid used to stay in, and Meryl stayed in your room. 

Middle of the night, you couldn’t sleep. You left the room, and moved outside and climbed on top of the roof. You were concerned. Looking up, you stared at the stars, and worms floating around the sky. 

You breathed in the fresh air, taking a deep breath smiling, regardless of being concerned. You knew this was No Man’s Land. You’ve seen Vash’s Wanted posters around. For some reason you never thought you’d run into the Man in question. 

As much as you were thrilled to meet him, and the main crew, you were also anxious. You were wondering if trouble would follow him here. You didn’t want to think of that. But you couldn’t blame Vash, not one bit if something happened. 

You refused to. The third city July was still standing. 

Still, you couldn’t help but think of how beautiful the sky was. You didn’t look up when you heard a noise. But where exactly in the timeline you were…

“Couldn’t sleep?” You felt your breath hitch, you glanced up, your eyes locking onto green-blue eyes, full of trust. Your heart skipped a beat, causing you to look away as you felt your face warm. There was nothing preparing you for how handsome he was. 

You smiled softly looking back up at the sky. “You could say that, how about you?” 

“The gorgeous woman that saved me earlier is being melancholy on the roof in the middle of the night!” that threw you off for a moment causing your eyes to widen, Vash seemed to grin in response knowing he caught you off guard. “What’s on your mind?”

“Gorgeous? Too generous.” You visibly winced for some reason. 

Vash frowned, kneeling down sitting beside you. “Not generous enough. Will you please tell me?” he asked softly. 

You hummed, “I think I have intruded on Sam’s hospitality too long.” you glanced back up as Vash glanced back at you. “I should leave…but…I’m scared to be on my own. Partially why I’ve stayed this long…”

Vash lifted his hand and held it against his chin in thought. “Oh? I assumed you were his daughter or something.” 

You shook your head, “Nah, Sam found me about five months ago. All I had was a few pieces of jewelry, which I sold for a gun and Canteen but…couldn’t bring myself to leave at the time.”

Vash’s eyes widened in realization. “Ooooh, if you don’t mind me asking, where are you from?” you knew he was mentally preparing himself to hear that he was behind how you were homeless, without family. 

“I…it’s complicated. I’m not even sure I can properly explain it.” you shook your head with a chuckle. “Honestly if feels as if I’m within a dream…”

Vash smiled, “You know…” he trailed off, an explosion sounded, causing the both of you to jump up, “WHAT WAS THAT?!” 

“SHIT!” you glanced over the roof spotting bright lights. 

“Bad Lads!” both you and Vash exclaimed. Vash started patting his jacket. “I left my gun in the room!” 

The both of you jumped off the roof to run back into the house. You ran to your room where Meryl was startled awake. “What’s going on?!” 

You grabbed your gun, and quickly loaded it. “Get your friends, get in your vehicle and get out of here. Bad Lads are here!” 

Why you thought out of everything that you could stand tall against the group, telling the more experienced group to get the hell out of dodge. You shoved the gun into your holster and rushed outside where the Bad Lads surrounded the home.

[multiverse-imagines]

um… so I literally just binged read all your Vash fics. Planning on watching the anime on Saturday.

but I’m even tho I’m a newcomer……

can I get a Vash x Reader, where maybe homeboy gets her pregnant.

👉👈

he’s already taking over my life…

A/N: so I'm not typically comfortable with writing this kind of thing, but for specifically you, (and Vash) just this once, I'll indulge a pregnancy fic request. It gave me a chance to think about things I don't want to write in the future. It's my fault for not putting it in my pinned post. I will say this was one of the cutest things I've written in Vash's pov, and probably how I would react if I got told I was gonna be a dad. I do appreciate getting out of my comfort zone sometimes. ^-^

On the lighter notes, I'm so excited for you to be joining the Trigun cult we've amassed on Tumblr! Give the manga a read too if you can! Don't worry about being a newcomer. I've only been in this fandom for a year. (Where has he been all my life?) It's never too late to start a new series!!! If you want someone to gush about the series with, hit me up!

I've only had Vash for a year, and in my head we've already been married for 10. xD

Sprout

I carried a box of donuts, sandwiches, and a couple of sodas towards City Hall, where she worked. She, My Lovely Mayfly, worked there as a volunteer coordinator. I decided to surprise her with lunch. She always works herself too hard, and sometimes forgets to eat. I entered the main lobby, quickly finding the office she worked in. It was empty. I came in early enough where she wouldn't have gone to lunch with anyone else. The hairs on my neck stood on end as I thought of the worst. Making my way back to the front desk, I asked the receptionist where she was.

"Oh, She went out for a bit. She said she had a doctor's appointment. Said she'd hopefully be back by lunch." The receptionist took a sip of his coffee. A doctor's appointment? She hadn't said anything about an appointment this week. Before I could make my way back to her office to wait, a chime of the front door revealed someone entering City Hall. I turned around to see her, My Mayfly. She almost seemed troubled, looking at the ground, not quite noticing me yet.

"Hey, Mayfly!" I cheerily greeted her as always. She seemed to stiffen up, but was immediately happy to see me.

"H-hey, Angel. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I brought us some lunch! How was your appointment?" She stiffened up again at this.

"Why don't we eat lunch!" She seemed to panic as she dragged me into her office, shutting the door, almost too quickly. She leaned against the door with a sigh. She was acting strange, well, more so than usual.

"Mayfly, is something wrong?" I let my voice drop to a concerned tone. Her breath hitched, and the facade of being around other people faded. Her face was almost… scared. Vulnerable, Worry, such things I never wanted to see on her face.

"Do you remember when I said sometime last week that I was feeling kinda funny?"

"Y-yeah, I thought it was the burger from the bar."

"Well, it wasn't the burger, I guess…"

"You didn't get sick, did you? You're not dying are you?" I began to worry. Humans didn't live too long on this planet. Taking a chance with her as my partner was a struggle for me. I often distance myself from others where I can, even though it doesn't ease the pain when they die. We had spoken on this topic a few times when I tried to deny her advances, even though every fiber of my being wanted her. What if she really was dying? I couldn't take her with me as I continued to run from bounty hunters and the like.

"Vash." My name leaving her lips broke my panic, and I hadn't even noticed she had taken my hands, "I'm not dying. I…." She took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant."

"P-pregnant." I repeated back to her, "wh…what?" My face relaxed from panic to surprise as my gaze drifted to her hips, "I.. I didn't think that was even possible." A wave of emotion was flowing through me all at once. How was my DNA compatible with human DNA? How was I supposed to keep the two of them safe? Raising a child on the run? What if Knives targeted them? What if I died before I could see the kid go to school? Or get married? Oh, Rem, help me. What if they died young? What if I lost Mayfly during the birthing process? What if I lost both of them?

My body moved on its own as I leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. I rested one hand on her back, the other rested on her cheek. I allowed my mind to clear as I lost myself in her kiss.

I whispered her name when I parted from her lips. Holding her chin to keep intimate eye contact.

"I love you. Let's have a family together." I found myself laughing a little bit as a smile came across my face. The laughter spread as I pressed more little kisses to her lips, "I'm gonna be a dad." I toyed with the idea of teaching the little sprout how to color, ride a Tomas, reading them bedtime stories, falling asleep with them cradled into my chest on our ragged couch, and even teaching them good morals if I could help it.

"I'll keep you both safe. I promise."

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #04

previous | all | next

This was actually pretty much ready last night but I hit post limit. L

I'm doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc. (and being so normal(<-lie) about my faves as always)

As always, here are the non-analysis panels of the babygirls (!!!!! this time with Milly my beloved)

And the rest is under the cut :)

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

Not as many this chapter since it's sort of between arcs.

Starting off with how this exchange between this guy and the mailman was handled! Originally, the "Thanks / Anytime" part was one speech bubble and came from the long-haired guy. He says「はいよ　ご苦労さん」(smth like "Alright. Thanks for your work."), and the tiny speech bubble from the mailman is a shortened form of "Thank you for your constant patronage." Because the lines become a bit redundant in English, Overhaul combined the guy's lines, splie his speech bubble, and moved the mailman's line to a more visible location. Just a little translation/typesetting trick I thought was clever.

April City in Japanese was stylized to Ainpril City.

I lied in the last post. Vash's antennae are back up; it'll still be a bit until his bent antennae becomes permanent. I guess it was just his hairdo coming loose during the Nebraska commotion.

And more MillyMeryl manzai routines!! I love them

This is definitely me reading into it too much... but I like the contrast between the girls, who have a job but are broke, and Vash, who does fuck all and even refused $$700 thousand but properly has money for the sandsteamer fare.

Also, he has a cool cloak! I forgot about that.

Tonis!! (remembering what happened to him in Stampede...ough......)

This conversation about Vash just... makes me Feel some Feelings. His pacifism and sheer niceness lights up the whole town. man.

Tiny detail: Silvie had a ruby note saying "store owner."

ok i'm as upset about this as yall are about to be. i am so sorry.

「うーん　少うしもったいなかった　かな」 もったいない itself could!! mean "to be too good for smth" ("that was too good for me"), but here, used by itself with no additional context, it defaults to "wasteful" → "Maybe I missed out..." 😭 but we can ignore this. acespec Vash must prevail. i'm very sad about this too.

This does not mean the translation or the common Western interpretation of this is wrong!!!! But this is definitely the way Japanese readers interpret this line, and probably the meaning Nightow intended. If there was something like 僕には before the middle line, this would've definitely gone the acespec route. Implied subject/object is a bitch

But with your help, we can all just forget everything I just wrote here and pretend it never happened! Deal? Deal.

Vash's agony is represented with squiggles in this panel.

I didn't notice this until someone else mentioned it, but this is a Wolverine reference!

Translation error - This line is by Kaito (the boy), saying "That's gotta be from the second time!" pointing to when Vash stuck his head through the vent himself.

food service au canon real.

That’s it for Chapter #04! As always, the Japanese annotations are in the reblogs.

[markcampbells]

@excavatinglizard's Trigun fics! ✨

For @trigunfanfic's challenge to talk about an author where we love multiple works, I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about my dear friend and the reason I'm in this mess Lizard!

Lizard has two absolutely incredible Vashwood fics and I am not at all biased by one of them being a gift for me! I'm Your Man is a fic where Vash and Wolfwood shelter in an abandoned church and feed each other the communion wafers and wine, and some of the lines still live in my brain rent free. If you're a fan, as I am, of how Vash and Wolfwood can absolutely never talk openly about what's going on between them, you will love this fic.

His brain was still heavy from the wine, and he knew that if he let himself think, he’d brush himself off and they’d never talk about it again. He wanted, though, and wasn’t that the first sin? He’d killed a man fifty iles back, Vash pretending not to have heard the gunshot, but long before that, he’d wanted. (And please do check out their beautiful art for this fic!)

And then there is their recent absolute masterpiece, a Brokeback Mountain-inspired TriMax cowboy AU, Blue Dawn Over the Plains. I was absolutely rattling the bars of my cage waiting for this one and it was worth every second of the wait. Gorgeous prose, a take on Vashwood (and bonus MerylMilly!) that marries exquisite period detailing while also nailing their personalities perfectly, and, like all the best tragedies, compelling storytelling that really had me thinking it would turn out differently even if we knew the end. I cried on my new sheets. Reader, I'm still mad about that.

Wolfwood wondered how long it had taken Vash to read the names etched across the four goblets of the memorial, and he shivered despite the sun. There was something about Vash in that moment that ignited some long-buried prey instinct, to freeze and hope for nothing more than for the attention of some great predator to pass him by. A smile broke across Vash’s face. Wolfwood wanted to tell him to stop. Whatever sorrow lurked just behind his eyes was threatening to eat them both whole. Wolfwood reached forward and grabbed Vash by the lapels, pulling him in and kissing him hard. They were each grasping at one another, bodies taut like the beginning of a fight, or something else that would leave just as much damage in its wake. (More beautiful art here!)

Please do go read their wonderful fics and ogle the gorgeous art! I would not be in this fandom had I not been pulled in by their art and I am eternally grateful. Even if sometimes that gratitude was expressed in capslock on Discord at ungodly hours.

[vshthestmpede]

Are you writing for livio 👉🏻👈🏻 he’s so adorable and i know he’d be so gentle with reader 🥺

tugging at the heart - livio

words; 836

cw; mentions of ptsd, slight alteration of the events from trigun stampede

notes; omg this was probably one of my favorite pieces to write fr

masterlist | cross-posted to ao3

finding nicholas in the desert after being separated for so long had been euphoric in itself - being reunited with an old friend you thought you'd never see again was sweeter than you could've ever imagined. you were welcomed into his ragtag group of wanderers and your skills as a medic were greatly appreciated by all.

for the first time since you parted from your adoptive family, you found yourself to be content. so, when chaos broke out aboard the sand steamer, you were less than willing to follow wolfwood's orders.

"i'm not losing you, not again," you fought, standing your ground as you scooped up one of the guard's discarded guns.

nicholas went to argue with you but his annoyed expression quickly changed to one of sadness. you followed his gaze and your heart dropped at the sight of the man in front of you.

"livio," you whispered, lowering your gun even as he pointed his right at you. as he got closer, you felt tears welling up at the sight of him. "oh, livio, what did they do to you?"

you yelped as you were suddenly pulled behind some crates, the sound of gunfire also startling you. vash kept you behind him, eyeing the area.

"get them out of here, needle noggin," nicholas barked and vash looked back at you. "carry them, drag them, anything! you guys need to get out of here."

vash went to reach for your hand but you backed away, frowning at him. he shot you an apologetic look before lunging at you and wrapping an arm around your waist. he hoisted you over his shoulder with ease, ignoring your pleas and struggling as he carried you further away from the fight.

"vash, please," you begged, hitting at his back. "livio's important to me, too! let me go!"

vash set you down and stood in your way. "wolfwood asked me to do this and i've no reason to betray his trust, (name). i'm sorry."

you huffed, frantically looking for a way around him. suddenly, the ship tilted and your shoulder met the wall while vash tripped over his own two feet and fell backwards. you took this opening and leaped over him, taking off in a run back towards the observation deck.

"sorry, vash!" you called over your shoulder as he yelled your name. continuing on, you kept hidden as you closed in on wolfwood and livio.

the fight seemed to have died down and you noticed the way livio was toying with the magazine before reloading his gun. your eyes darted over to wolfwood and realized he had seen it as well. he pulled out his lighter and replicated the technique, the same one he had taught you and livio back at the orphanage.

something flickered in livio's otherwise blank gaze and you slowly made your way out of cover. you froze when his eyes snapped to you and you put the gun down, kicking it away before putting your hands up.

"vio," you said shakily, taking a step towards him, "whatever's going on in your head, you're stronger than that. i know you are."

you felt wolfwood's irritated glare on your back but he didn't say anything, instead using a vial to heal the wounds that had been inflicted on him.

"we missed you so much, vio," you continued, watching as his eyes softened as you came closer and closer. "remember how we all used to stay up on the roof to see the stars? we'd all get in so much trouble because we would fall asleep together and the headmistress would find us."

livio shook his head, groaning loudly as he seemed to fight whatever was trying to take control.

"you and nico would always sandwich me because i would always complain about how cold i was," you continued with a little laugh, nearing him. "but every time, we'd all make our own wishes on our favorite stars."

livio dropped to his knees, head hanging and you kneeled in front of him. cautiously, you reached your hands out to him and waited for him to react.

"c'mon, vio," you murmured, "come back to me."

you held your breath as he dropped his guns and looked up at you, tears in his eyes. he collapsed in your arms, heaving out a sob as you rubbed his back. you didn't budge as another pair of arms wrapped around the two of you, wolfwood's cheek resting atop your head.

after a couple of moments, livio pulled back and looked at you through tear-filled eyes and smiled. he reached out and cupped your face, his thumbs running over your cheekbones.

"(name)." his voice was barely above a whisper. "i'm so glad your face is the first i'm seeing."

you choked on your words, putting your hands over his as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours.

"i'm sorry i left you behind," he murmured and you squeezed your eyes shut. "we have so much to catch up on, don't we?"

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 5 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Wolfwood

I love him. Man who has no faith in himself or humanity or god with so much blood on his hands, fighting for something he knows he can never see come to fruition in person. He carries his own literal cross and grave marker on his back. Just… he’s so iconic to me.

I'm sure I'm not the first to submit him. But I did it anyway. I hope he wins and I'll do anything in my power to make sure he does

Dude is literally a priest who carries around a giant cross. Yes he uses the cross to murder people but that is besides the point. Also he has a mini church he carries around for on-the-go confession services.

hes literally a priest(hes not a priest in the reboot but he is in the original and thats what matters to Me). he carries around a cross that is actually secretly a gun with guns inside that gun. he runs a church/orphanage. he carries around a portable confession booth and charges people money for it because he is broke as fuck. he dies bleeding out over an alter begging to god for forgiveness he doesnt think he deserves. he is everything to me.

look at this man he's a priest with a cross shaped gun that (spoilers) dies against the side of a church while waxing poetic about life and redemption (/spoilers), this is the Catholic ever.

Wolfwood is liiiiiterally Judas coded in the text. AND his weapon is a massive cross that turns into a machine gun and a LASER. Not to mention his religious trauma. Oh baby. The religious trauma.

Homeboy literally walks around with a giantass 300lb machine gun shaped like a cross called the Punisher. Hes a priest/undertaker depending on what version of trigun you reference. Grew up in a church orphanage. Also literally walks around with a portable confessional box for people to pay to confess to him. Need i say more.

HE IS LITERALLY JUDAS. he is literally leading the jesus allegory to his doom. hes also in love with the jesus allegory (vash). he is also carrying arouns a giant cross rhat is also a gun. hes literally catholic and judas and his tits are perfect. in one piece of official art he's wearing a cross choker. also the catholicism on gunsmoke is about making vash submit. wolfwood looking at that pathetic wet mess of a man oh i can make him submit easily.

He literally carries around a giant cross and is referred to as a priest by multiple characters. also he offers people confessionals

He carries a huge machine gun that is in the shape of a cross that is really heavy (he is strong) and his boobs are huge. So you know hes serving cunt in a god honoring way. Also in trigun 1998 he brings around a small chapel that he uses as a portable confessional and in trigun stampede he holds funeral services as an undertaker which are way overly priced. Also he dies very gayly (basicly confessing his love to his best boy friend forever)

Nick's funny bc he's probably the least Christian acting guy but is literally a preacher. There's a running gag with Vash asking some variation of "what the hell kinda churchman are you?" His gun is a gigantic cross. He rides a shitty motorcycle in the middle of the desert.

ok so thematically the main conflict in trigun is about peace vs violence and its represented by the characters vash and knives respectively. the two aren't /technically/ angels but thematically and through imagery they are and are comparable to michael and lucifer specifically. ANYWAYS. vash and knives are the characters who are constantly pushing and pulling at wolfwood's morality, sort of like a "the devil and god are raging inside of me" kinda deal. his grappling with his morality and faith is a big factor in his character. also he has a giant fucking gun shaped like a cross. and he dies in a church while praying.

Bros an orphan who grew up at a Catholic orphanage and taken away to be trained and genetically changed into a supercharged assassin for interworldly beings that have lots of angel imagery attached. Guy thought he was just going to be taken to become a missonary...instead he got 6 years of religious trauma. He still wears a cross necklace and holds it often. His gun is a literal cross "full of mercy" (its a missile launcher). He never really believed fully in the faith or anything, but the way he interacts with it is FASCINATING. He's jaded by the planet he lives on and his upbringing, and makes him say his most iconic quote: "We're nothing like God. Not only do we have limited powers, but sometimes we're driven to become the devil himself." He prays to a God he doesn't know if he actually believes in, asking for another day— for hope for the human race. The organization hes part of (The Eye of Michael) works for an interdimensional otherworldly being that has an incredible amount of angelic metaphor and imagery attached who intends to purge the planet of humans... and ends up siding with that guy's twin brother who is so Jesus coded it's insane. They are best friends even as Wolfwood is acting under instructions to babysit and watch him for his twin brother. He dies after facing down against his old mentor (named Chapel) and his pseudo brother from the orphanage who was taken into the Eye as well and his Jesus bestie buries him and sticks his cross-gun in the ground after losing his shit crazy style and using his pseudo alien angel Jesus powers to lash out at his brother for being the cause of Wolfwood's death. Rest in peace king

John

he’s a priest. he can punch your lights out. he would never hurt a fly. he has connections in the black market. he gives everything he can to the local orphans. he will not hesitate to play pranks on you. he wants everyone to be happy. he has daddy issues probably. he wants a promotion sososososoooooo bad.

I accidentally submitted the last 5actors name but it’s the same guy

Hey everyone please vote for this man I love him he truely is what we need more of in this world the kindest most relatable character has flaws etc etc. Deserves the world

[lost-technology]

Hey. Please please please don't do anything drastic. I know it seems really dark right now, and it is. Yesterday was a horrible day for everyone and it will continue to be hard as we all process. But it's so so so important that you keep on living through that.

One half of this that is absolutely true is that you need to keep on living to spite them. You need to live longer than him and laugh when he's gone. Your life in itself is resistance and that's infinitely valuable.

The other half is that, no matter if you believe this or not right now, the world would be darker without you. I mean this really and truly. I don't know you in real life so I can't speak to that, but you bring a lot of positivity and unique views to the trigun fandom. Your reblogs are how I found a lot of the trigun blogs I now follow. Your comments and discussions on Rem make me happy to read, just grinning in real life because someone cares so much about a character that needed more time. It's simple stuff really, but that's what's important. Even people you've never spoken to like me are positively impacted by your life. And that increases tenfold for people who know you in real life that you do speak to and that love you and want you around no matter if they say it out loud or not.

Please keep living. You bring something unique to this world and you're a nice person, which goes for a lot these days. And if you can't believe that, live for spite, just for now, and maybe the other stuff can come later.

Please live. I'm sorry for being so long winded but you really do have a much bigger impact than you could ever see without someone telling you and I want you to know.

We can all get through this and you're not alone. Being together is how we can find strength. So stay and be together with us. Please.

I'm sorry for the long ask. Just want to make sure you at least hear this stuff. You're important.

I do need to get on the phone with my therapist. It's just... I feel like the hits just keep on coming, neverending in my life. This hope to have the first ever Madame President and to not have a man in office (again) who shows all signs of going full fascist - it is bringing up grief in such a way that it seems to be bleeding into my lingering grief over a family-loss I had last year. I'm feeling similar ways. Last year, my nephew died (adult, just on the cusp of 40, my partner's nephew). He was my best friend, my gaming buddy and we were the three amigos on holidays and whatnot. We had him up for almost an entire year on Covid-lockdown living with us. He got me through my partner's heart-attacks when he had those in previous years. Matt was the one who broke the news to me that there was going to be a new Trigun anime because he knew I basically lived and breathed Trigun back in the day and still counted Vash as my personal hero. And then, in January '23, he was gone - cause of death unknown, probably his heart giving out - because he had some health issues. I basically had to go through that. I've been feeling like I've just gotten to pulling myself out of the muck of that, was just starting to feel better (with some random meloncholy still hitting me), and now I'm running into yet another big thing that's making me think "What is life even for?" - There's no justice here. I have no power. There is no rhyme or reason. I also lost a couple of aunts during Covid times, both eldery - one to the disease itself, another through something unrelated, both in 2021. I wasn't as close to them anymore, but it hurt. I had to go into inpatient psychiatric in 2021 because some misunderstandings, a huge fight, a dogpiling (of me) and a public tumblr callout post in one small niche area of the She-Ra fandom just made me lose it. I was accused of plagerism (not true. There was a misunderstanding with someone regarding idea-exchange and what I was allowed use in roleplays on a small roleplay discord. I did legit read things wrong, but it's not like I ganked someone's ideas for a publically available fanfic or was trying to "steal their characters" like they whined to everyone in the fandom about), but because anyone accuses of that, immedately everyone else will side with them and not even look further into it, I was suddenly losing friends - I freaked out, myself and got to harassing some people in a defensive snarl - and then some asshole had to take it off the discords and make it public, which meant I was shunned by an entire fandom and was basically told that I was human garbage and believed it. I did something untoward to myself and had a little hospital stay. The person who intervened to save my life was that now-deceased nephew. And so, I've just been going through hit after hit, some of it being hangover from "We all got crazy under Trump and under Trump's attempts to get back into power" and now... that's a thing again... I am also on Social Security / Disability and am worried about my future. I worked very hard to get it and it might go away. My partner was on the cusp of getting it until they raised the retirement age and who knows he might not get it. We might die freezing under a bridge, I don't know. There is always the question of "Well, now or later?" that looms in the mind. "Murdered by the State or go on my own terms?" I want to be brave like Vash and Rem, but they are fiction and I don't know if I am capable of their strength of heart. Thank you for talking to me.

[typingdyslexiaisathing]

A Loving Wife and Her Two Husbands (Trigun Modern AU) fanfic

Content: Marzena has a night terror to go to her one husband for comfort. Since the other husband is out getting food. Established relationships. Mention of violence. Mention of trauma. Mention of a car accident and fire. Mention of near death experiences. Comfort and romance and hugs and kisses. This is a polygamy ship with Vash and Wolfwood and Marzena being in a marriage to each other.

// Personal note. I have absolutely zero idea about how those kinds of relationships actually work in real life. So I am just going with the flow and feelings as I type. Vashwood is a ship I may not see as canon but I can see why it would work given the materials and perspectives of plot and characterization so it's not that out there to see Vash and Wolfwood sharing their loving hearts with a plus one. //

Waking up hurt my head as well as my joints. Yet I didn't heed the aches to just sit up in bed and rub at the tears still falling from my eyes. A hazy nightmare still cloying at my insides for me to shiver. I grabbed my phone to enter the house group chat. Texting without really thinking, "Who is home right now?"

It didn't take long for Wolfwood to answer the chat. "I'm out right now. Want me to grab Chinese for us?" So I answered, "Yes. Please. With the extra of cherry cheesecake on the side." This was telling for Vash to soon type away in the group chat. "I'm in my room. Door's unlocked. Stream is almost over for tonight."

I moved to put on my extra baggy sci fi t-shirt to then shuffle my feet out of my room to Vash's door. Knocking in that signal that we all used when we knew one of us was doing our regular live stream broadcast. But Vash opened the door almost instantly to hustle me into his room. The lights for his stream still on for him to dim them with a flick of that one hand. The bed already open and waiting as he led me to it to sit us down. "Hey. Another night terror?"

Nodding hurt my head for me to just let Vash hug me from the side. His scent filling my nose and my heart as I sighed. "Yeah. Same garbage, different plot. We were in that medieval fantasy game. But we got ambushed by evil mercenaries and captured. You lost your one arm in the fight... And Nick..." The nightmare came back in vivid detail for me to whimper as Vash turned me to hug me tight to his front as I cried. My arms going around his waist as his burned left arm came up for that hand to rub the back of my neck. "When you are ready. Take your time, Marzena."

I breathed and sniffled for a minute before the words could come out. "Nick was so furious and wouldn't surrender. So they... Just broke his knees and hands... Yet he was still cursing and flinging what fire spells he could at them... He only stopped when they stuck a knife in my gut... You were begging and pleading for them to let Nick and me go... But they just laughed... They killed both of you in front of me... Then they... They... It felt so real, Vash..."

Vash sighed to give me a squeeze that had several disks in my spine pop. But I just soaked in his warmth for him to breathe in my ear. "They always feel real. Especially when they are based on a real fear. Something I know you have carried inside for a very long time. But Nicholas isn't a bodyguard for criminal overlords or a fighter in underground cage fights anymore. Just like I'm not in the military anymore and no longer volunteer as a firefighter. We don't take risks anymore for you to fear us dying or getting broken."

My heart hurts even as I choke on a sob. My shivering having my teeth chatter before I get enough air to speak up. "I still can't forget. How bad that accident was that day. How the truck looked when I got there for it to start to burn on the one side. That you'd gotten Nick out only to get covered in flames. I was so sure that you both weren't going to make it, Vash. I spent that entire time in that damn waiting room thinking neither of you were still with us. While Legato kept trying to drill me for when the cops got to questioning me. If your brother hadn't let the hospital staff know I was family and you needed me to donate blood to Nick..."

Vash shivered at that old memory for him to soon place a kiss to my forehead before he spoke up. "Legato was super quick to read the hospital directors the riot act for keeping you out of the loop when you're listed as our next of kin and our wife. Even if some states still don't legally approve of the polygamy thing we have going. You are still our next of kin, so they should have been keeping you updated. Which Nai was not surprised over that his husband exploded like he did when they got there. Nick woke back up just from the noise Legato was making. Hence why he was able to try calming you down when you sprinted into our room." I hiccupped to let Vash place more kisses to my cheeks as he held me tight. His words calm and full of love as he spoke. "I refuse to leave any of you for any reason. It's the real reason why I didn't pursue a tech position in the military after they said I couldn't be in combat anymore. Seeing you break at how hurt we were... Watching as you waited on us hand and foot for months in this house... I know you didn't just fall asleep with either of us to keep us warm at night, Marzena. You always had your head to our hearts to listen and make sure we were still ticking. Nick said you talked in your sleep to beg him to stay. We know you need us. We know you love us more than anything or anyone else."

I sniffled to nod and just tell Vash the truth. "Dummy. I've been in love with both of you since we met in the first grade." Vash blinked in pure surprise to then have his jaw hang open. "Wait... WHAT?! You- Are you serious?!" I chuckled to nod and rub at my eyes. "Uh huh. Nai had been helping you make a bird house for the front of the school. With Nick watching you to try and copy you. Those older girls tried to grab what you were working on to break it. Only for Nai and Nick to just smack their hands away and shove them back. I was the one who took the photos with my disposable camera to show the principal what had really happened that day. Hence why he punished those older girls and not any of you." Vash looked stunned to then frown. "But those girls turned their anger on you and ended up pushing you down those stairs. Broke both legs and your arm as they emptied their leftovers from lunch on top of you."

I grunted at that old memory as Vash gave a sob of his own to hug me as tight as possible. My words more calm and warm to pat his back. "Mom told me two sweet boys kept calling the house to ask how I was doing. She also saved every letter you guys sent to me. If my grandma hadn't needed for us to move across the state and away from all of you, I was going to ask for all of us to go camping up north for that summer." Vash gave a hard sniffle to then still when Wolfwood opened the bedroom door with the bag full of food and a couple two liters of ginger ale in tow. His smile a knowing one as he walked on in. "Good thing my own mom got it in her head to ask for moving addresses and phone numbers after our Marzena had to move. Hence why we always were able to write to you and schedule camping trips together. Face it, you dorks. We're stuck together."

I felt my smile ease through my whole body as Vash gave that nervous laugh he tended to do when caught doing something he knows he shouldn't be doing. But I just shifted so both of us could face Wolfwood as he moved the rolling table over to unfold it in front of the bed. Soon sitting himself on my other side to then hug me and huff. His touch like a living furnace of assurance and affection as Vash made sure I got squished between them. Wolfwood placing a kiss to the crown of my head before he spoke. "I also bribed a few people for those girls to end up getting sent to a boarding school slash boot camp. So they didn't get away with breaking our best girl." Wolfwood soon took my one hand in his free one to trace his thumb over the tattoo on my ring finger. The one of a braid that serves as my wedding band that he and Vash had on their own ring fingers. Our vows literally etched into out skin for Wolfwood to sigh and sound thoughtful. "I knew I wanted for us to be together after the docs left to deal with a still fuming Legato and our stoic twin blonde. Nai made the point to simply tell me to get my ass in gear and marry you both before he tossed me out a window. So I Zoom called Rem and Sharon to get their blessings. Rem was a bit upset at the whole polygamy angle. Thank God that Sharon had already approved and asked why I waited so long to make the call." Vash blushed to then get all shy as he sighed into my hair. "Rem just wants us to make sure we are loved in all the ways we deserve and then some. Most aren't able to figure out how to do that as a threesome unit without somebody feeling neglected. But Nai and Legato helped me word out the details. We love in what ways we are able to give. We respect each other and make sure to communicate at all times. This family... Our family... We've known each other and loved each other for so long... There wasn't any other life or future I wanted than this... Just like I know you two feel..."

My hum is one full of warmth as I gave Wolfwood a chaste kiss. Then I did the same for Vash before they decided to give each other some kisses of their own. Meaning I got to set up the food and the drinks. Until the three of us got our hugs in to then begin eating. But we then heard a notification on Vash's computer for Vash to blush from nose to toes. Wolfwood stilling to then smack a hand to his face as I waved at the still blinking camera for the chat to all but implode. Vash falling back onto the bed as he laments, "Oh my God! I never turned the stream off and we've been on air this whole time?! Oh my good Lord am I an idiot!" Wolfwood just heaved a sigh to then smile for the camera as he leaned in to give my butt a squeeze. Making me squeak and smack him in the chest for several dozen people in chat to cheer us on or suggest more kissing and groping on camera for me to laugh at the whole situation. So Vash whimpers for me to steal some of his egg rolls and munch away as Wolfwood got up to address the chat directly via the camera. "Okay all you naughty eavesdroppers. You got your soap opera romance moments to watch. The only way you get more is if you start donating fifties and hundreds for production costs."

Much to our surprise, the chat started blowing up with donations of exactly that. there was even someone named PBJ Disaster who donates five hundred dollars to the chat to ask for us to feed each other on camera. So Wolfwood blinks to then openly laugh as I sighed and opened more containers. With Vash squeaking when I turned to flop on top of him for hugs as Wolfwood bowed dramatically for the chat. "Okay. Okay. We will have an impromptu food stream for all you little fans to enjoy. Vash. Take thirty seconds to hug our wife before we get to eating our dinner. Then I get to kiss you senseless and steal some egg rolls off your plate." Vash then openly laments for the chat to hear. "Why am I the one to get my egg rolls stolen! You meanies!"

[anxiety-elemental-kay]

TriMax Vo.5 (Part 2: WIFE TIME)

I FORGOT I HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS I’ll just finish this now. It’ll be shorter than I wanted it to be but I want to wrap this up so I can move on!

Now I talk about everyone who isn’t Vash (and I try to not be embarrassingly gay for literally every woman in this manga.)

MIDVALLEY THE FREAK OF HORN

Something I’m hoping to write about once book club finishes the series is how forming meaningful interpersonal relationships separates not just Vash and Knives, but our heroes and our villains. I don’t want to say too much more because I don’t want to spoil anything for newbies, but think about the kinds of relationships different characters form and maintain.

This is a good example of exactly that. Midvalley and Hoppered had, what I thought, was a touching conversation in the last volume. Then it ends up with Midvalley pointing at gun at a fallen Hoppered, discarding any camaraderie they might’ve built up over the mission. Midvalley even adds, “There is no heaven or hell.”

Something that interests me in Trigun’s setting, that for a story so saturated with religious imagery, it’s a world where god is entirely absent. That’s interesting to me. It’s a more compelling, human story for the absolute absence of any higher power, even as it discusses spirituality.

HOPPERED THE GAUNTLET

Like Midvalley he’s a villain with a weird gimmick who ends up being a genuinely compelling character. Nightow is good at that.

ELENDIRA THE CRIMSON NAIL

WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE

WOLFWOOD

I like his interactions with Milly in this volume.

MERYL STRYFE MY OTHER WIFE

I mean uh.

Oh boy does Meryl go through it this volume!! I’m so proud of her she’s so brave and strong and pretty and -

Okay okay, I’ll try to be a little less lesbian for a minute and go back to the analysis zone.

At the start of the volume Meryl was kidnapped, watches Vash get squished, then watches him go creechur mode and gets wrapped up in feathers and assaulted with traumatic memories that weren’t hers. And later she emerges from the his wings/feathers to break the five-way standoff. Which must mean she’s been wrapped up in Vash’s wings/feathers this entire time. That’s how she survived the blast. It’s unclear if Vash was actively protecting her until now and let her go to take the shot, or if she broke through at this point to take the shot herself. Either way Normal Human Meryl broke a five way standoff between superpowered freaks while armed with only a peashooter. Meryl Stryfe my beloved.

CONCLUSION

I love this god damn manga because it does so much to flesh out not just our protagonist but all the major characters, plus many of the minor and side characters too. Kisses.