#why did you do this to us grandpa

[yuwuta]

PLS PLS PLSSSSS keep talking about kids with olympic athletes! gojo and nanami pls pls pls i have to Know. everything u wrote about yuuta was already so so cute

(prev olympics au here)

the gojo twins are hilarious because your baby boy looks exactly like satoru, but has very little of his personality—it seems like the only things he inherited was satoru’s love for sweets and love for you. still, even though he’s a strong swimmer, he much prefers to relax in his floaties alongside you if you’re also in the pool, or chill by your side on a lounge chair, glasses too big for his face keeping the sun out of his eyes as he shares his smoothie with you, and asks to borrow your phone to take pictures of his sister and daddy in the pool. 

your baby girl on the other hand… she might have your face but she’s got satoru’s everything else—his competitive streak, his confidence, and definitely his mischievous nature. she’s the one who tiptoes into your bedroom at five in the morning, tapping at her daddy’s shoulders, and putting her little finger over his lip to shush him before he can wake you up; she’s always the one to convince satoru to take her swimming the backyard at the crack of dawn, and why by the time you and your baby boy wake up, she and satoru are already past warm up laps and swimming lessons and onto who can make the splashiest canonball competitions (she always wins because while her tiny body can endure a belly flop, satoru’s years of training physically doesn’t allow him to do it… and maybe because he’s not so competitive when it comes to his baby girl, he’ll always let her win). 

kento’s professional judo career honestly doesn’t last very long. after his first olympic games, you two start dating and he proposes just after he wins gold the second time he’s in the olympics; he does maybe two more years of national competitions while you’re pregnant, and decides that the intense training for the next two years in preparation of a third olympic competition isn’t worth missing time he could spend with you or your baby girl—plus, with all the money he’s made from competitions, winning gold medals, brand ambassadorships, commercials, and collaborations, he had enough money to provide for all of your for the rest of your lives. so, that’s what he does (his dream has always been to be a househusband, anyway...) his previous salaryman career comes in handy when deciding how to invest his money, how to buy a house, how to take care of his friends, how to set up a fund for your daughter, and an extra account or two… just incase more babies come along… 

by the time your baby girl is four, she’s already kento’s biggest fan. she loudly and proudly proclaims to everybody that her daddy was basically superman and won all the shiny trophies and medals in the house from when he was being a superhero. if anyone recognizes kento when they’re out together, she always confirms their suspicions, proudly boasting, “yeah kento is my daddy! he’s a winner!” it always makes kento’s heart swell to hear her praise. he doesn’t compete professionally anymore, but he does train from time to time, and has taken on a few mentees, and your daughter LOVES to watch him coach/train. she’s got her own uniform that she always puts on whenever they go to the gym together, and gets so excited when kento or ino or yuuji pretend to spar with her. 

she’s honestly kento’s mini figure. she’s respectful and reserved, but strong and knows when to fight and how to use her voice. there’s a time when he gets a call from her school saying that she got in a fight, the principal frames it as your daughter needlessly pushing around an older kid, but your daughter is certain in her words when she tells her dad that it was because the kid was being mean to the younger kids, and to her. kento doesn’t say a word to the teachers—doesn’t even fight them sending her home early for the day, because he’s happy to scoop her up and take her out for ice cream and tell her that he’s proud of her.

[hauntingblue]

Oh now the villagers know..... and arlong burned the town to punish her..... for some reason

[colorfuldream]

Okay so I've seen it a few times now and there are people who genuinely believe the Squid Sisters have the least content out of every group. I mean, I get forgetting Deep Cuts but the Squid Sisters do have as much as Off The Hook. Sure, OTH is starting to look like favorites now but the SS aren't left behind. Here's an itemized list:

They're in every main story mode. They have three whole games about them. The concept of story mode revolves around them. Just because they aren't proactive in them doesn't make it not count. Their quips and banter are what made us care and learn about them. It did flesh them out. They don't have to actively help to be main characters and receive development. The only game you could argue that is Splatoon 3 but it has a writing problem in general. It did close their story, subtle but interesting and well-written (for what Splatoon is), across the three games.

A short story. They're the only ones who have that. That has insane development, providing a lot of details about them. Like, that's a MAJOR thing that's lore-dumping so many things.

They're in almost every concert. They're in all but two concerts. They're canon too. This gives them a lot of presence in the franchise.

Lots of illustrations. Makes sense. Of course they are with how long they've been around. Still an important sign that they're a major part of the franchise (obviously, the main story is about them). It's always nice to see them in different situations anyways. They also get some lore out of them, fleshes them out and whatever. Which brings me to my next point.

Different outfits. It's not only giving us a sense of how they dress, but it's telling a story. Said it before but, for example, we know Marie likes dressing up for Story Mode and be a mentor of some sort. If you pull that string, you can get that she's someone who puts on a façade depending on the occasion and likes teaching/guiding people, her idea of mature and cool is a traditional outfit from her hometown.

Special Fest variants. Yes, they all do. However, the thing that differentiates them is that this is outside their game and, even though they were mostly reskins, they did get fully new outfits and hairstyles which neither other groups did.

Technically, they got a DLC. Even if it's the old hub and basically promo for Side Order.

They're in Smash Bros. That's not nothing. They're not spirits, they're full-on assist trophies. They better be in it honestly, but it's still something they have over the other two groups. It solidifies their status in the franchise.

Many songs, including remixes. Obviously, but they're also on the Splatfest list which never happened before outside of special events. They started it in Splatoon 2's Final Fest and started it in Splatoon 3's regular Fests. They're trend setters! Which leads me to...

Boss Fight. Final Boss, even. Callie started it. Literally. She fought us. The fact that she was The Final Boss™ puts her above the others. They wish they were her.

Solos. They did it first. They've also got not one but two mash-ups of their solos so it gotta count. I would argue that theirs are special too as they're meant to be solo pieces while the Anarchy Poisons are always put together be it on the soundtrack or the concerts. They were made to, and it's lovely, as Deep Cut's continuing the trend OTH's set: a united group that values each other and their work over fame. Their music is made to be together. Anarchy Rainbow and its Poisons is just that, something that's all of them, always. They were also fused in every live version, and the in-game live version, unlike Tide Goes Out and Bomb Rush Blush. These were forcefully mashed up as each sang over the other, desperately trying to drown out their will and win this fight. It's only now, years later, that they get an unexpected mash-up, joyful and harmonious —which in a way is a part of their story, them reclaiming this song as they bring their solos together. The Squid Sisters are working for themselves, they now do whatever they want with their careers and what they sing, how they sing, when they sing is up to them and only them.

They're the end credits of every game. Special mention to Splatoon 3 that just sacrifices its own idol group for them. Unlike Splatoon 2, Deep Cut was involved in Story Mode and for all the 10 minutes they spent in it, the end credits should have been theirs as they sure as hell didn't get a DLC. Their equivalent was a last minute addition at that, unceremoniously added later on without much spotlight. Jeez, they could have had a second collab song instead or something!

They've got the final battle song for every game. Makes sense because it's their story and their games, it's the culmination of their work every single time. Unlike the credits, they at least shared the spotlight with Deep Cut... Hey, if Marie's their boss, doesn't that make her a part of their group or vice-versa? She better be, she's the one handling their paperwork after all (poor woman, it's a mess too and they're not spending wisely. Shouldn't have been talking about becoming a manager, Marie, you're getting roped up in too much silliness and Callie won't help).

Participation in 2 Final Fests. By that, I mean actually having a team and representing it. Otherwise, they're involved in every Final Fest.

Merch. I mean why wouldn't they have some?? But it had to be added. Special note for the concert CD and special edition. I guess I'd put there the interview bit Marie conducted in Splatoon 3's soundtrack bonuses. That's another bit of trivia/insight on her work. The Nintendo Magazine interviews also count as they're relevant to their characters.

Their song is a major part of their world and franchise. Calamari Inkantation has a special place in the lore and the franchise. It's THE song but also THEIR song.

4 amiibos. They might not give their outfits (which I kinda like because I'm not fond of how they did it for the others) but they give out gear related to their story, the game, and that we should have gotten. At least they're fixing that flaw I guess.

Storyline during the Splatfests. Not sure if it should be added but it did culminate into long lasting conflict between the two of them and started their storyline. Since it's missing in Splatoon 3, I think it should be noted. It fleshes them out and makes them feel a bit more alive, like they're affected by the results.

Most of these could apply to Off The Hook too. My point is that the Squid Sisters haven't been neglected, not from Nintendo's point of view. They're more than included, arguably the stars of Splatoon 1 and 3. The thing is that Off The Hook is the fan favorite right now so most of our attention is on them, not the others. The Squid Sisters have also been so ingrained in the franchise that we're used to it. We readily accepted they would be the stars of Splatoon 3 because they took over most of Splatoon 2 until Octo Expansion. We assumed the other two groups would get DLCs, or that Deep Cut would be involved in OTH's like in the Main Story, only to realize that Nintendo didn't give a damn and gave the spotlight to OTH alone in an attempt to replicate what Splatoon 2 did. Obviously, once we got over Side Order, we kinda realized this was unfair and that there was favoritism. It didn't help that OTH was featured in regular battles and that Splatoon 2 and 3 handled Splatfests differently, with special events and work done to the idols. We've come a long way since the first game, which itself had changed plenty during its time, so it feels unfair that the Squid Sisters didn't benefit from what the others got or for as long. That doesn't mean they didn't get a lot and weren't the favorites for a long time.

Now, I'm gonna address the thing that made me write this in the first place:

They do have a story and development. Just because it wasn't in your face doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Up until Splatoon 3, the story wasn't as obvious as it could be when it came to the idols. Marina's background is clear-cut, because you cannot be too subtle about it, but apart from some big lines, it wasn't directly stated, nor was her development in Octo Expansion (it's heavily linked to Agent 8 and the Octavian but the fact that she comes to be comfortable in what species she is and overcomes her fear of being found out and rejected should count as a story). She's fascinating and it's important to the world.

But that doesn't leave the Squid Sisters flat and boring. They had an arc! Them slowly resenting each other because of their time as Splatcast anchors, because they were always pit against each other, because of the way being an idol works, is a story in itself. It was bad enough to get Callie to free Octavio, who's a terrible, dangerous person as far as she knew then, and go to the Octarians, poor, underground enemies. The Hypno-Shades are more like heavily suggesting you to obey, we know that Callie had some sort of free will to put glitter, of all things, into their ink. She also was fully conscious of her actions when freeing Octavio, and we know this guy isn't a mastermind and world class manipulator. Marie wasn't doing much better, working a lot and being stressed. Fame drove them apart and broke Callie down to the point of going to people who wanted hers dead. She freed a war criminal. Once Marie saved her, mostly from her own despair, they decided to do their own thing. They didn't need fame or their careers. Family was more important. Tidal Rush was their solos crashing against each other, not listening and trying to sing over the opponent, until Marie blasted on a song that meant the world to them. The hymn of sea kind. The song that they won that fateful contest with when they were young, the reason why their dream came true. The song that they sang when safinf their dear grandpa, powerful enough to make Octolings give up everything and try to join the surface. A beautiful memory. Something that was theirs. And so they sang. Together. "I remember everything!" The innocent days they practiced for the contest, the terrifying ride to Inkopolis, the nervousness of their first Splatcast. But they were together. She wasn't alone. Marie had always been on her side. Neither of them wanted this. If it had been up to them, nobody would have compared them to each other. They wouldn't have been choices for their last Splatfest. It's a certain kind of cruel to ask which of the two teenage girls was the better one. Callie wasn't angry at Marie, she was angry at the system. She felt awkward, self-conscious, worthless because of her status as a celebrity, because she as a person didn't matter. Her comfort? Who cares. Take the photos, sing the songs, be careful to be perfect. She was overworked, isolated, and the only person she could count on was put in the same position and told she was a competitor.

Fresh Start is the two of them reconnecting away from show business. Going back to their roots. They stop being idols afterwards, they don't sing much anymore. They get their own careers. Callie slowly finds the strength to be in the spotlight after so long and goes back to acting, unlike Marie this seems to be more of her thing. Marie keeps on with her podcast, now using it to hype Callie up. Splatoon 3 even shows us that Callie is some sort of spokesperson, announcing that an Inkopolis stage will undergo reconstruction. She's rebuilding her career on her own and making it her own. The Squid Sisters, while some of the most people in the world, weren't recognized in the Splatlands. Sure, Shiver and Frye probably didn't give a damn about Inkopolis musicians but Big Man is a fan, he's even showed them their music, and he still didn't recognize them. They're known for their music, their names possibly for themselves. Splatoon 3 is the only game not to give them a story, even its details don't imply much. But the previous two games did.

It's a story of two girls who got famous too soon, too suddenly, and got eaten by showbusiness. It's two young women taking their power back and breaking free from the idol life. It's a family that managed to heal from the damage fame caused over the years.

I dunno but I think it's beautiful and I'm a sucker for stories that criticize being an idol and family coming together. The Squid Sisters' entire thing was being idols, that's their entire concept, especially identical ones which is dehumanizing enough. It's fitting and not something you'd expect out of Splatoon of all places but it's the kind of franchise that gets surprisingly deep and dark in its smallest details.

No, they're not neglected or underdeveloped. Their story is there, just not as flashy as you'd expect. Their presence is something we're so used to that we don't clock it anymore, moreso when the other group gets attention too. Splatoon 3 didn't handle the writing well, as fun and silly as it gets, and it shows in a lot of ways. It's easy to go "so what was the point of the Squid Sisters being there?" when the story didn't bother doing anything with them for once but they weren't the only one neglected nor did they not get content in other ways!

[xylophxn]

The inside of my brain is just the trail to oregon on repeat.

[chialattea]

thinking about one of my mom’s top ten moments.

[adustoflove]

If you buy someone a gift because YOU think it's cool or because YOU actually want it with NO thought about the other person's preferences....you're a selfish, thoughtless jerk and I personally hope that you're disappointed every year by other people who only think of themselves when they buy you a gift too

[tricornonthecob]

I'm reading Joseph Plumb-Martin's Narrative of a Revolutionary Soldier and oh my god I will never need another amrev memoir this grandpa is so sarcastic and sassy.

[bunnyb34r]

I get a lot of notepads and shit from charities and I wish they would just stop putting my full name on them. Like I can't use these as a grocery list bc it has my FULL legal name on it 😬 I have to either rip the top off every piece and shred the top or shred them all together like why...

The worst was the time one sent me a notepad that had: my full legal name AND ADDRESS on each page

Who the fuck would want that????

[dredshirtroberts]

it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such

[smiletimeisrunningout]

"Wakey, wakey, Princess," Rogers' rough and alcohol-coated breath spoke into the early morning hour, poking her leg with his foot in an attempt to get her to wake up. // @sharp-teeth-and-wide-grins

Emma opened her eyes and pulled herself to sit, slowly, feeling as if she had drank too much the night before - hit to the head, maybe? "Yes," she said to no particular question, looking at the man before her, "This seems like the sort of thing that would happen five minutes after ditching my guards. Alright. Hello."

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

[weaselle]

i want to talk about real life villains

Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.

Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.

I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"

I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.

And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.

He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.

John Hammond.

probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.

If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.

Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.

book spoilers below.

In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.

He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.

In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.

THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.

I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.

In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.

I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.

Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.

And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.

I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.

Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

just finished season 3 and i have. thoughts.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Y'know, there's this gripe I've had for years that really frustrates me, and it has to do with Love, Simon and people joking about it and calling it too-pg and designed-for-straight-people and all the like. (A similar thing has happened to Heartstopper, but that's another conversation.)

I saw Love, Simon in theaters when it came out my senior year in high school. I saw it three times, once with my friends/parents on opening night, once with my brother over spring break, and once with my grandparents.

On opening night, the air in the room was electric. It was palpable. Half the heads in there were dyed various colors. Queer kids were holding hands. We were all crying and laughing and cheering as a group. My friends grabbed my hands at the part where Simon was outed and didn't let go until his parents were saying that they accepted him. My friend came out to me as non-binary. Another person in our group admitted that she had feelings for girls. It was incredible. I left shaking. This was the first mainstream queer romance movie that had ever been produced by one of the main five studios, and I know that sounds like another "first queer character from Disney" bit but you have to understand that even in 2018 this was groundbreaking. Getting to have a sweet queer rom-com where the main character was told that he got "to breathe now" after coming out meant so much to me and my friends.

But also, from a designed-for-straight-people POV (which, to be frank, it was written by a bisexual author and directed by a gay man, this was not designed for straight audiences), why is it a bad thing that it appealed to the widest possible audience? That it could make my parents and grandparents see things in a new light? My stepdad wasn't at all interested in rom-coms but he saw it with me because it was something I cared about and he hugged me when we came out of the theater. My very Catholic grandparents watched it with me and though my grandpa said he still didn't quite understand the whole 'gay thing,' all he wanted was for me to be happy and to have a happy ending like Simon did. My Nana actually cried when Simon came out and squeeze my hand when his mother told him he could breathe.

And when Martin blackmailed Simon, my mom, badass ally that she is, literally hissed "Dropkick him. Dropkick him in the balls" leading to multiple queer kids in the audience to laugh or smile. Having my parents there- the only parents, by the way, out of my group of queer and questioning friends- made multiple people realize that supportive adults were out there. That parents like those in Love, Simon do exist in real life.

When people complain about Heartstopper not being realistic or Love, Simon being too cutesy, I remember seeing Love, Simon on opening night. I remember my friend coming out and my stepdad hugging me and my mom defending us through this character. I remember the cheers that went through the audience when Bram and Simon kissed and the chatter in the foyer after the movie was over and the way that this movie made me understand that happy endings do exist.

Queer kids need happy endings. Straight people need entry points to becoming allies. Both of these things can come together in beautiful ways. They can find out about more queer culture later, but for now, let them have this. Let them all have a glimpse at a better, happier world. Let them have queer joy.

[meow-moment]

i bet if walter white had tumblr hed be like "i am the one who blogs haha"

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🔮 purple-queen Follow

just got a beautiful ring from the store, can't wait to show it off here!

#my purchases #marie speaks

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🌶️ capncook

finally scored a new job can i get a hell yeah. back to making stacks dawg

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🪨 hankschrader4 🔁 flynwyte Follow

🏎️ flynwyte Follow

HELP A DISABLED TEEN'S FATHER AFFORD CANCER TREATMENT!

I didn't want to have to make this post, but deadlines are closing in and I don't have many options left.

My name is Walter White Junior, and my father was recently diagnosed with cancer. He's been battling for a few months now, and he wants us not to worry about him, but he can't keep pulling money out of nowhere. I've done the math, and I've estimated that he needs $12k to afford all the treatment he needs.

Any donations are appreciated! You can donate directly at my website, or donate on p@yp@l, under the username flynwyte.

407/12,000

(do not tag as donation!)

#donation

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👨🏾‍💼 gustavo-fring

I am pleased to announce that we have finally hired a new social media intern.

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🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

yo yo yo whaddup chicken lovas!!! were bringin back the 2-for-1 honey mustard wings combo, with that signature taste you cant help but love! get it today, bitches!

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🔮 purple-queen Follow

okay, you know what? No. I'm sick of this. Kleptomania is a valid mental disorder, and if i have to explain to you why, then i will.

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#marie speaks #rant

106 notes

🌶️ capncook

bored on the job man its got me thinkin...

#vent post #delete later

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👊 2co Follow

i can't say shit around my grandpa bro. i make a comment about the lakers one time and its 😤🛎️🛎️🛎️😤🛎️🛎️😤😤🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️ im fuckin SICK OF IT!!

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🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

i miss her so much man...

#vent post #delete later

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🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

We would like to apologize for our social media intern's mistake. As a token of our apology, we are offering a 10% discount on any chicken order if you mention this post. Have a finger-lickin' day!

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🧪 h31s3nb3rg Follow

I am the one who blogs haha

#heisenposting

1,250 notes

😺 meow-moment

Who said that

[yoohyeon]

My dad decided he was going to listen the Metallica full blast today is not helping our case 😭