#why did i write so much

[stesierra]

Writeblr ReIntro!

I'm posting a new intro because now that I've been on Writeblr a little while, I realize how much information I left out! Hi, I'm Stephanie, I live in the desert with my husband and baby and three cats, and I'm an ace, bipolar fantasy writer! When I was a kid, they said I had ADHD but then I got my Masters degree in biology, so they claim I can't have it. Online tests say I'm probably autistic.

I used to write sci fi twelve years ago but only low tech sci fi about weird aliens, which nobody likes. Now I write fantasy novels! Lots of fantasy novels! I am beginning to post them on my website so if you want to read them, please keep an eye on this post.

My books often but not always have some romance (either m/f or f/f because I prefer female protagonists.) Since I'm ace (and demiromantic), my interpretation of romance and attraction is not exactly what you'd expect from, say, a romance novel.

I am not going to tell you about all my books! I've written eighteen! Four of them are shelved forever! Here's some recent ones (written or revised since 2018) that I haven't given up on. Please ask me questions about them! I LOVE talking about my books! Also, if you want to be added to my taglist for writing samples let me know! Please also tell me if you're interested in alpha or beta reading and for which book! Mutuals only, please!

My books are beneath the cut! As I add WIP intros, I'll update this list with links.

Cast Out

YA fantasy! On her sixteenth birthday, Zisha is cast out of the Plenary Cities for the crime of being born deaf, like her grandmother before her. In the wastelands, she meets Thesil, a depressed and bitter young woman. Zisha wants nothing to do with her — until she sees Thesil's face in a vision. But before she can find out what the visions mean or reach her grandmother's holdings in the wastes, the plague returns to the Plenary Cities. If the disabled really caused the plague thirty years ago, and were cast out to stop the spread, how can it be back when all of them are outcast?

Status: Finished. Being serialized.

WIP intro here.

Now being serialized here. First five chapters up, one posted weekly.

The Bone Queen

This is my NA fantasy about the aftermath of freeing an undead queen and her skeleton army. They take over the kingdom, of course! The main character, Elise, is trapped in Bandrum palace by Aubrey, the ghost who tricked her into falling in love and freeing him (plus everyone else.) He's an animated skeleton now with plans to marry Elise and force her to carry his children. The bone queen has promised him she'll make it happen. Too bad no one cares what Elise wants. If only she had magic of her own...

Status: undergoing a rewrite after developmental edit. Was 109k before revisions. Not available for beta reading.

Draft number? Hahahaha. It has two complete sequels (The Spellbound King (106k) and The Matriarch's Daughter (96k)) I must also rewrite. This series is going to kill me but I love it. My mom, who loves everything I write, complained that it was weird. I'm very proud.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

School of Souls

This is my YA contemporary fantasy about a boarding school in the Bighorn Mountains! It's supposed to be a place parents can send "bad" teens to have their problems sorted out, but secretly the founder is using it to train the kids as sorcerers. Even more secretly, the school devours the souls of the students sent there, and the teenagers who graduate aren't the same as the ones who arrived... Warning: does include teenage addiction to sleeping pills and ghosts and and parental death. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. Available for alpha reading.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

The Many-faced Princess

This is YA fantasy with a historical vibe but set in a made up world. Vaguely inspired by ancient Phoenicia. It's about Princess Ameryi, who was blessed by the genderless trickster god, Akihel, to be able to change her face. If her father the king ever found out, he'd have to execute her, of course. Akihel is just plain evil. All the other gods say so. A daughter who's their champion? Impossible. An abomination. So Ameryi will just have to make sure her father never finds out. That was easier to do before the Asirtinsa Empire threatened to invade and her father sent her to secure an alliance with a neighboring king. She's supposed to marry him. Not steal his face and frame him for murder. But sometimes plans just don't work out.

This book was supposed to be about two lesbian princesses who frame the king for murder so they can elope, but both princesses decided to be ace and there was nothing I could do.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Map here.

Court Phoenix

This is my NA fantasy! Kerra is a blacksmith's apprentice. Not because she wants the job, but because her mother sold her future to him when she was still a toddler who crawled into live fires and giggled as the flames consumed her clothes. Now she's a woman, trapped by the expectations of her family and her village. Until one day, a phoenix crash-lands and dies in her arms. When it's reborn, it chooses Kerra as its keeper. Soon, her dreary future is swept away. A princess from Skyfire, the moving city, offers her a job in the royal court. How could Kerra refuse? Her family's claims that she'll die if she ever leaves the village are just manipulative lies. Aren't they?

Status: Complete third draft. 104k. Available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

The Revenant Trilogy

Adult fantasy. Solving a murder should bring good fortune, but all it brings Mindral Thideet is disaster. Her fame and peaceful life as head researcher at the city of knowledge end abruptly. In retaliation for her investigation into his crimes, Payar Cheref, the head of the powerful Cheref family, burns her beloved cousins alive and scars her face. The scar marks her as a revenant, a body possessed by a godkin, one of the gods' evil children. Her life as a researcher is over. All that's left is revenge.

No one believes her when she denies that godkins have any power over her. But godkins, real ones, are far closer than she realizes. Tearing down Payar Cheref could destroy Mindral, her family, and the nation itself.

-The Halfway Revenant (rewriting draft 4) 120k. Not available for beta reading.

-The Soul-Seer (draft 2) - 130k

-The Godkin's Gambit (draft 2) 121k

First chapter here.

As Immortality Fades

Adult fantasy. Five hundred years ago, one of the immortal and unpredictable Valteifur visited the kingdom of Kathild and granted the young queen Nelone immortality. But there was a catch. She'd live forever, youthful and strong, just so long as her subjects were happy. For centuries, she's met her part of the deal. But when the Valteifur returns to check on her progress, he grants her a new gift: the resurrection of every single person in Kathild who's died in the last two hundred years. Then he disappears.

There aren't enough houses for them all. There's not enough food. And winter is here.

Status: Complete first draft. 98k. Available for alpha reading.

Bi MC, enemies to lovers.

First chapter here.

Stitches and Memories

This one's adult fantasy. Antea's father ripped her mind apart, left her for dead, and vanished twelve years ago, and she's going to find out why. But when constables try to kill her and strange truth magic grows inside of her, hunting her father starts to look like suicide. Too bad going home isn't an option.

Status: I exchanged this with a critique partner and now it embarrasses me. Fourth draft. 122k. Available for beta reading.

Trigger warning: magic seizures

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

Triangle Park

Contemporary Fantasy. I have no idea who it's for. An elf exiled to the middle of nowhere ends up stuck with an unexpected child. It's about reluctant parenting and protecting the needy. And elves and faeries slumming it in a mobile home.

Status: Complete first draft. 86k. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Mud-Child

Adult fantasy. Rebeka has always heard that a woman who goes through menopause loses her spark (the magic that lets her create children). If she's had children, it just makes the neighbors a little more fertile. But Rebeka never wanted a man, and she never wanted to raise a child. Not since her twin sister died and her beloved Suza left her for a man. The problem is, the spark leaves a childless woman differently, everyone says. A bitter hag? She'll curse her neighbors. A sweet dim biddie? She'll give her spark to inanimate objects and create a monster. Rebeka doesn't know which she is, but she believes it's a myth.

That was before the clay in her clay pit woke up and called her mother.

Status: Third draft. 109k. Needs a rewrite! Not available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

I GUESS I'M WRITING A NEW BOOK

The Giant's Gamble

First chapter here.

I started writing this on Friday the 13th, 2023. LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO WRITE WITH A BABY.

Short stories

The Unfamous Dead

VERY OLD CRAP

The Scribe and the Sphinx

Adult historical fantasy

Status: second draft. Shelved for good. 85k.

The Adrift series

The River's Drift. 100k.

The Waking Mountain. 106k.

Low-tech alien sci fi. Shelved for good.

My first book whose name I forget. About 50k. Exists only as a hard copy in my parents' house.

Taglist so far (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Tag list for everything

@harleyacoincidence

@anonymousfoz

@moremysteriesthantragedies

@elizababie

@sm-writes-chaos

@bellascarousel

@the-dragon-chronicler

@teacupsandstarlight

@vorskra

@wrenofthewords

@amostdelectablescribbler

@mysticstarlightduck

@phantommill

@gracewritesbooks

@aziz-reads

@owlsandwich

@symbioticsimplicity

@squarebracket-trick

@koala2all

@rmgrey-author

@atomatowriter

@cheerfulmelancholies

@delusionisaplace

@janec23

@writing-is-a-martial-art

@authortango

Just chapters and snippets

@da-na-hae

For The Many-faced Princess

@deadlyessencewhispers

@serenanymph

The Halfway Revenant

@acertainmoshke

For Stitches and Memories

@space-writes

@acertainmoshke

The Bone Queen

@janec23

@holdmyteaplease

@digital-chance

@thecrookedwriterspath

@tea-and-mercury

@coven-archives

I love you all!

[p0th]

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

My Demon: Theories and Analysis for Eps 9-10

Happy New Year, Readers!

I hope 2024 brings great things for everyone. I delayed posting a T&A post for Eps 9-10 partly due to holiday busyness and partly because I'm tired of plagiarists taking my theories and ideas and reposting them as their own. For those who have been my followers for a while now, you know this has been a constant issue for me. I don't think it's hard to give someone credit for original ideas that they've come up with.

I thought I wouldn't encounter this same issue with the MD fandom, but I was wrong. I saw a Twitter user taking multiple theories of mine and reposting them as their own. I don't rule out the possibility that people can have the same thoughts, but when you're specifically mentioning things only I had talked about and no one else did, it makes you look guilty as hell.

Hours after I posted my T&A for Eps 1-6, they decided to take multiple theories of mine and post them to their account. One example is how they took my idea that the cross necklace either once belonged to Do Hee or was given to Gu Won by Do Hee. Another example is how they took my idea that the cross tattoo on her wrist symbolized she was the source of it all. There are many more examples, but I don't want to spend all my time listing them all out. It's the same old spill, though; they're doing it for clout. In the future, I won't be posting my theories or analysis for eps until a day or two before the newest episodes come out. This ensures the cheaters won't be able to use my theories for their own personal gains. But enough about this piece of trash.

I want to forewarn everyone this post is very long like 17 pages so definitely take a break from it whenever. If you have any questions about anything I've written so far for MD, please feel free to use the "Ask Me Anything" button and I'll try to answer your questions ASAP! There are probably grammatical mistakes...it's hard to edit 17 pgs worth of shit haha. Finally, if you choose to use my stuff, give me credit, that's all I ask.

Time to put on our thinking caps to analyze and theorize!

Section 1: General Thoughts

Eps 9-10 were top-notch! I admire the writer's ability to incorporate twists inspired by literature, movies, kdramas, fairytales, art, math, etc. One major theme appears to be the profound impact our choices can have, leading to unintended consequences not only for ourselves but also for others. The show also delves into the coexistence of seemingly opposing elements, such as angels and devils or odd and even numbers.

The clock in the intro, featuring angels and devils, draws inspiration from MC Escher's "Circle IV: Heaven and Hell." Escher, influenced by mathematics, created art that explored the interlocking nature of opposites, mirroring the eternal connection between Do Hee and Gu Won.

Now, let's discuss the intricate math woven into this show. The complexity of the numerical elements has forever changed my perception of numbers. For instance, I once saw "snake eyes" as 1+1=2, but after MD, I now see it as 11. Similarly, 10 used to be just 10, but after MD, I see 01 is its mirror image, and 1+0=1.

MD provides a fresh perspective on Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment" and "Demons," exploring psychological complexities, moral and existential dilemmas, societal and political systems, faith, morality, isolation, alienation, guilt, internal struggles, and redemption. Much like these literary works, MD delves into the psychological toll of potential crimes and the impact of abuse on individuals. It's a concoction of various influences, reminiscent of Frankenstein, weaving elements from Romeo and Juliet, DAYS, TOTNT, Goblin, Lucifer, The Bodyguard, Greek Mythology, Christianity/Catholicism, Cinderella, and Beauty and the Beast.

The overarching message from MD seems to be that everyone harbors inner demons, and it's how we confront and handle these demons that defines us. Our choices can lead to positive, creative outcomes or negative, destructive consequences, shaping not only our self-perception but also how others perceive us—angelic guardians or malevolent demons.

Section 2: Gu Won's Past

2.1 Gu Won's Name: A Divine Revelation

As I revisited my previous ideas and rewatched episodes, Jang Mi's line, "I'd say the heavens or his ancestors did," really got me thinking. Recall that in my last post I theorized Gu Won might be related to Madam Ju. Well, after I saw Jang Mi's comment, I felt like I might be onto something.

I repeatedly wrote "Ju Yi Sun…Ju Yi Sun" and thought about ways my theory could be wrong (like, what if he's a Park? Kim? Choi? Cho? Jin?). That's when it all started clicking. Gu Won's current name had ties to Catholicism/Christianity, so his past name must've been the same. Out of all the last names mentioned in this, only one was associated with religion--Ju. You see, there's a wordplay in Gu Won's past name, Ju Yi Sun. In Korean, "Ju" means "Lord," but it can also mean "wine" and "week" (hint hint… the show's got themes of Catholicism/Christianity and time, haha). The second syllable of his name, "Sun", sounds like "son". When you piece it all together, you'll realize Gu Won's past name means "Lord's son" aka Jesus. I've now realized the clues proving he is a "Ju" have been there since the very start, but I just didn't connect the dots until now haha. Additional clues are available on my Twitter for those interested!

I doubt we'll witness Gu Won pulling off miracles like walking on water, but he has showcased some Jesus-like feats. Remember Ep 1, where he performed the fish miracle for Park Bok Gyu? That's similar to what Jesus did (miracle #6, to be exact), haha. Then in Ep 3, he healed the sick, echoing another one of Jesus's miracles. And in Ep 10, Jesus—I mean Gu Won—brought Do Hee back from the dead, a blend of miracles #11, 15, and 33. Who knows, maybe we'll get to see another Jesus-like miracle before this show wraps up? Perhaps calming a storm at sea or casting demons into a herd of pigs, haha.

Throughout the series, Gu Won has been frequently seen with wine, a symbol often linked to Jesus and representative of his blood. In Ep 9, Gu Won tells God he prefers wine because it's the tears of God. Interestingly, in the original myth, these tears were attributed to Jesus, not God. Jesus shed tears when witnessing Lucifer Morningstar's fall from Heaven. The writer's choice to attribute the tears to God may hint at their intention to portray Gu Won as a blend of Jesus and Lucifer Morningstar. It makes you wonder though if God shed tears after Gu Won died the first time around or when he started going "bad", doesn't it? Haha.

For those unfamiliar, Lucifer Morningstar earned the moniker of the Devil following his rebellion against God, leading to his descent from heaven into Hell. Before this rebellion, his name carried positive connotations such as light bringer, dawn bringer, and the morning star, associated with the planet Venus and the Goddess of Love. Examining Won's former name, Yi Sun, the word "Sun" stands out. Given the sun is a type of star, this connection holds significant meaning. Coupled with the dawn imagery in Ep 1 and Ep 10, the connection to Lucifer Morningstar becomes apparent. Gu Won's story started with him playing the roles of Jesus and Lucifer Morningstar. After his fall from Heaven, he transformed into the Devil. As Gu Won reunites with Do Hee, his journey comes full circle, bringing him back to his original identity as Yi Sun aka Jesus/Lucifer Morningstar.

If Gu Won is indeed a Ju, it would introduce some serious drama in the show. This means he'd be related to people responsible for the past deaths of Do Hee's parents and the current threats on her life. It's giving me Romeo and Juliet vibes haha. In Eps 11-12, I think Gu Won will discover he's a Ju. This discovery will affect him deeply, knowing he's related to those who've inflicted so much pain upon Do Hee both in the past and present. This revelation will weigh heavily on him, leading him to end his relationship with Do Hee due to overwhelming guilt.

Section 2.2 The Past...Flip It and Reverse It

Let's revisit the Joseon dynasty, a time when societal norms were so conservative and backward! My theory about Gu Won's past remains largely unchanged. I still believe the major obstacle to Gu Won and Do Hee's love story was the differences in their social classes and that Gu Won became a demon because of Do Hee. However, I'd like to add a few more details to this theory.

Before delving into the intricacies of Gu Won's past, it's essential to grasp a couple of key points. Firstly, the past is the reverse of the present. Secondly, within the show, the notion of "wealth" or "richness" takes on an unconventional meaning. While wealth is conventionally linked with material affluence --having substantial money (i.e dollar dollar bills)--here, being "wealthy" or "rich" can also mean having a soul, as souls are considered a form of currency. For example, in the present, Do Hee is rich in both the conventional and unconventional sense-- she has substantial monetary wealth and a soul. However, in the past, Do Hee was poor in the conventional sense (she was the Cinderella character in this context) but rich in the unconventional sense (i.e had a soul). Now, Gu Won in the present is rich in the conventional sense but poor in the unconventional sense (has no soul; he's the Cinderella type character in this sense). In contrast, in the past, Gu Won was rich both in terms of monetary wealth and spiritual wealth. I hope this wasn't too confusing for anyone!

Before Gu Won was a mean bankrupt vampire in the the present, he was a kind man who was well-loved by his servants in the past. Gu Won treated them with respect and as equals. This type of behavior would've been viewed by many of his social class as unusual and unconventional. In the hierarchical society of the time, where nobility often maintained a distinct separation from their servants, Gu Won's compassionate and egalitarian approach set him apart. His genuine care for those around him challenged societal norms, earning him both admiration and, inevitably, disapproval from those who clung to the traditional expectations of class distinction.

One such person who would've greatly disapproved of Gu Won's actions was his father. Judging from the flashbacks, it seemed Gu Won's father was a strict individual devoted to tradition, adherence to societal rules, and maintaining an image of wealth and power. In contrast, Gu Won disregarded these conventions, prioritizing modernity and challenging norms, a stark departure from his father's values. Therefore, Gu Won's father would've viewed Gu Won as a rebel and a devil similar to how Madam Ju viewed Seok Min. Unlike Seok Min, however, Gu Won was inherently a good person. Side note, I think it was funny that in the past, Gu Won was all about being modern, while in the present, he's all about tradition haha. How the times have changed!

Being a hedonistic individual, Gu Won would have been a frequent visitor to local kisaeng houses, and this is where I believe he initially encountered Do Hee and God. My bet is that God may have been employed as either the owner or a waitress here. As we know, God tends to hang around places with casino games, and kisaeng houses often had various gambling games.

In the past, Do Hee was the antithesis of her present self. Unlike the present Do Hee, who held no belief in God and perceived her life as modern warfare, the Do Hee of the past was deeply religious and traditional. Similar to Sonia in "Crime and Punishment", Do Hee worked as a kisaeng to support her family. Her family's financial status was probably in shambles due to her father's gambling problems and alcoholism. Despite his vices, I don't think Do Hee's father was abusive like Ga Yeong's father in the present. I think he was more like Sonia's father, where even though he was a gambler and drunkard, he never mistreated or abused Do Hee.

Much like Sonia, Do Hee was a devout Catholic. However, in contrast to Sonia, Do Hee couldn't openly practice her faith. This was because during the Joseon dynasty, the predominant religion was Confucianism. Those of the Confucius faith viewed the rise of Catholicism as a major threat to their current belief system. Therefore, many Catholics faced persecution during the Joseon dynasty.

Despite coming from two different worlds (rich vs poor), Gu Won and Do Hee connected because they were seen as oddballs and outcasts in their own social classes. Gu Won, a nobleman who treated his servants as equals found common ground with Do Hee, a religious prostitute. These two odd birds were equally matched in every respect (odd and even get it? 1+1=2), creating a connection that transcended societal norms--they were, essentially, each other's soulmates. Their only "crime" was being born in the wrong era. Their love wasn't destined to flourish during the Joseon Dynasty. Instead, it was meant to thrive in the more modern times, like the present. If only these two had a time machine to fast forward to the future. Oh right...they did have a time machine and it was called God haha.

In Ep 9, God said to Gu Won, "Some call me time". Gu Won and Do Hee had the favor of God and time on their side. While God couldn't fast-forward time in the conventional sense (i.e give them a time machine or snap her fingers to transport them to the future), she could fast-forward time in the sense that she could make one lover immortal, freezing them in time, while she reincarnated the other lover at the right time so they could meet.

Just as in the present, Gu Won and Do Hee in the past also had to deal with people who were trying to sabotage their relationship. Much like their present-day counterparts, Ga Yeong and Seok Hoon of the past were among those who sought to break up Gu Won and Do Hee for their own selfish gains. Just remember what Gu Won said in Ep 1, "Evil stems from human desires". It's the desires of these two that contributed to the tragic fates of Gu Won and Do Hee in the past.

In the past, Gu Won's father had likely chosen Ga Yeong as a bride for Gu Won instead of Do Hee. Unlike her life now, past Ga Yeong was from an affluent and influential family, making her an ideal match by Joseon's standards with her beauty, wealth, and power. What remained unchanged from the past to the present is that Ga Yeong still had a bad personality and was just as obsessed with Gu Won in the past as she was in the present.

As for Seok Hoon, being a Ju in the past, he likely still enjoyed wealth, but instead of being the humble and kind person we know him to be today (I still have my doubts btw), he was a greedy and power-hungry Ju.

If we go with my theory that Gu Won was a Ju, one might ask, what was the relationship between him and Seok Hoon in the past? I think they were brothers--Gu Won, the lazy older brother set to take over the Ju household, and Seok Hoon, the younger, ambitious brother. Seok Hoon was probably jealous of Gu Won because Gu Won seemingly had everything handed to him on a silver platter without much effort or desire (maybe they were like Cain and Abel?). Side note, I'm going to laugh if it turns out Seok Hoon killed Gu Won with a rock because that's what Cain did to Abel.

Another possibility is that Gu Won and Seok Hoon were brothers who found themselves in love with the same woman. Seok Hoon got butt hurt because Do Hee chose Gu Won over him so he decided to destroy them both. If he couldn't get love, he would seek power (hmmmm sounds similar to the present haha).

Gu Won and Do Hee were just trying to be in their own little love nest but societal norms and people's desires got in the way. Similar to the present, Ga Yeong and Seok Hoon teamed up to exploit the lovebirds' vulnerabilities. Ga Yeong coveted Gu Won's heart while Seok Hoon sought the position of heir to the Ju household. Gu Won's vulnerability was Do Hee, and Do Hee's Achilles' heel was her Catholic faith. Team Judas decided to use the lovebirds' secrets to fulfill their greatest desires. As we've seen in the show, revealing people's deepest secrets can be an effective means to achieve one's goals.

Seok Hoon found out Gu Won was in love with Do Hee and wanted to marry her which again was a no-no because noblemen couldn't marry those from lower social classes than them. And Ga Gyeong, she discovered Do Hee was a Catholic by paying someone off.

Seok Hoon and Ga Yeong probably informed Gu Won's father about Gu Won and Do Hee's secret relationship. Gu Won's father couldn't have Gu Won tarnished the family reputation by being involved with a Catholic kisaeng so he sought to eliminate Do Hee.

On the day they died, Gu Won and Do Hee were doing normal couple things like walking on the beach. However, their blissful day turned into a nightmare as they found themselves being chased by the men Gu Won's father had hired to kill Do Hee. They eventually ended up being cornered on a cliff. Subsequently, they fell into the ocean similar to the events of Ep 1. The only difference between the events of Ep 1 and the past was that Gu Won was a mortal man who didn't have the powers to save him and Do Hee.

After this death, Gu Won woke up in Hell. Why? Because he was rich and lazy. Remember what Do Hee said in Ep 1- the rich and those who don't believe in God go to Hell. You might wonder why being rich automatically lands you in Hell? It's because those who are rich usually acquire their monetary wealth through unethical and immoral means. In turn, their actions eat away at their soul until they have none. Therefore, those who don't have souls go to Hell. While Gu Won might not have been directly involved in shady dealings, he still lived off his family's wealth which may have been obtained through dishonest means. Additionally, Gu Won's slothful nature and lack of diligent work might have been another factor contributing to his descent into Hell. As for Gu Won's religious beliefs, I don't think he had one. However, maybe he did in the end because of Do Hee.

So, what about Do Hee then? Where did she end up? She probably found herself in Heaven because she was poor and believed in God. This created the same issue for the lovers in death as they had in life-- being in separate worlds. Just like in life, they weren't able to be together even in death. Do Hee ended up wishing she could be where Gu Won was, which in this case was Hell. Do Hee sacrifice her soul/Heaven for Hell.

Do Hee's sacrificial act probably deeply touched God and prompted her to offer the two lovers a once-in-a-lifetime job...become demons and earn your souls back. However, I think Gu Won wouldn't have wanted Do Hee to become a monster, so he negotiated with God that he would become a monster for the both of them. Meaning he would work as a demon to earn back both of their souls and spare Do Hee the life of working as a demon.

By doing so, Gu Won would be able to save them from Hell and live a happy life in a place between Heaven and Hell, which was Earth. However, it wouldn't be all rainbows and unicorns though. Without any soul money to bargain with, Gu Won had to give up the only bargaining chip he had--his human memories. With the last vestige of his humanity gone, God imbued him with powers so that he could work towards saving his and Do Hee's souls from Hell so that they could have a better and brighter tomorrow.

Alternatively, I can envision the events unfolding similarly to those in Episode 1 with minor differences. Gu Won regained consciousness in the waters, and instead of turning back to try and save Do Hee, he swam up and left her behind. Once ashore, he felt immense guilt about his actions and saw himself as a monster and a poison to the very woman he claimed to have loved. Like the previous theory, God appeared and offered him a deal that would allow him to redeem himself. Though I find this theory plausible, I believe the other one is more likely to occur.

Section 3: More On The Contract with God

Section 3.1 Soul Money

Now let's take a deeper dive into the specifics of Gu Won's once-in-a-lifetime job! I'll start this section off with an analogy. God is the owner of Jesus Corp. Bank where money is stored. When I say money, I'm not talking about dollar bills, I'm talking about souls or as I like to call it, "soul money".

Gu Won is working at Jesus Corp. Bank as a loan officer because he's spiritually bankrupt as in he has 0 Soul Wons (SW) in his soul bank account. As with any job, Gu Won gets paid except he doesn't get paid with earthly money, he earns soul money. To buy a soul, you have to have 1000 SW (1000 SW=1000 W). For every year that he works, he earns 10 SW or 10 won (I will go over how I came up with these calculations further down). This may seem like a lousy pay, but when it comes to reclaiming your soul, sacrifices must be made. It really is a small price to pay hahaha.

Anyways, if it costs 1000 won (1000 SW) for a soul, how many years does Gu Won have to work to earn 1000 won at a pay rate of 10 won per year? 100 years. You're probably thinking where are you getting these values from and how the math ain't mathing, but don't worry just keep reading!

Let's first start out with how I deduced a soul is worth 1000 won. I kept thinking about the bill God was holding which was 1000 won. 1000 is "cheon" which means Heaven in Korean. It dawned on me that souls have the same value as Heaven, meaning souls = 1000 won and Heaven = 1000 won. You have to have a soul to go to Heaven and those who end up in Hell have no soul.

After this, I started to investigate the clocks. I discovered the clocks in Gu Won's place and on the promotional posters were decimal clocks, commonly used by those in accounting for payroll and hourly billing. If you're curious about what these clocks are, just Google it. I'm not going to spend more time writing than I have to

Ok so now you're wondering how I came up with 10 won/year. Let's consider how Gu Won's 10th name would be Sip Won or 10 Won. Then consider how there are a total of 10 hours on the clocks in Gu Won's place which are representative of 10 years. Put those things together! Each "hour" on the clock is 1 year and each time the hour hand moves from 1 hour to the next, it's 10 won. Therefore, it's 10 won/year.

To help you understand this, I have created a figure below that includes the decimal clocks seen in Gu Won's place (orange), the promotional poster (green), and a 12-hour clock (red). It should be noted that both the orange clock and green clock have a total of 10 hours, it's just that they start at different numbers. The clocks (orange) seen in Gu Won's place are a countdown until the people go to Hell while Gu Won's clock (green) is a countdown until he gets his soul and Heaven.

Now, let's revisit the deal Gu Won offers people. The term is that you get 10 years of Heaven for selling your soul (keep in mind you don't get all of Heaven, you only get 10 years of Heaven). Mathematically calculate how much 10 years of Heaven is worth to see if it's really an equal exchange. Multiply the rate (10 won/year) by the number of years which is 10 years and you would get what? 100 won. That's how much 10 years of Heaven is worth...100 won. You might be thinking now that it wasn't an equal exchange at all, right? Depends on how you look at it! One way to look at it is that you just got cheated because you sold your soul valued at 1000 won for only 100 won of Heaven.

On the other hand, one could view it as a fair exchange because these people (except for the mother and daughter) were trying to cheat the system. Meaning they didn't want to work hard to acquire their Heaven, they would rather acquire it through dishonest means (i.e signing the contract). In the end, the cheater got cheated so it's fair haha!

The thing is every time one engaged in shady crap, it eats at your soul until you're spiritually bankrupt. In this context, you've already sold your soul to the devil. You didn't need to sign a contract with the Devil to go to Hell, you would've ended up there sooner or later because you had engaged in deceitful acts to acquire your greatest desires. One could then see Gu Won was doing the world a huge favor by signing contracts with these cheaters because he removed these bad eggs from the living world more quickly!

Some might wonder, can you be a rich person while living and not end up in Hell after? Yes, you can. How? By acquiring your wealth through honest means, following the rules, and engaging in acts of charity. In this way, you would not only be materialistically rich but spiritually rich as well.

The moral lesson in MD is to live a righteous life and work hard for the things you want in life. If you decide to engage in dishonest behavior (i.e cheating), just know you may not have to pay for it while you're living, but you'll eventually have to pay for it in the afterlife.

Section 3.2 Why Did Gu Won Have to Work for 200 Years?

Now let's consider what would happen if say were in Hell like Gu Won was, but wanted Heaven? What can you do if you are spiritually bankrupt? You got to WORK BITCHHHH to earn back your soul. Shit.... that's hard for a sloth who had never worked a day in their life...cough...cough Gu Won.

Why did Gu Won have to work for 200 years? It's because he not only had to buy back his soul but he also had to buy back Do Hee's soul too. Let's do some math....if a soul costs 1000 won and you make 10 won/year, how many years would you have to work? 100 years (10x=1000; x = 100). Again, because he had to get Do Hee's soul out of Hell, he had to work an extra 100 years.

I believe in the first 100 years on the job, Gu Won earned back Do Hee's soul which freed it from Hell. In turn, this allowed her to become reincarnated while Gu Won was still stuck working towards getting his soul back.

Now, you might be wondering if Gu Won obtained more deals, wouldn't he earn back his soul faster? Nope. It doesn't matter how many contracts he signed, he still got paid the same amount every year. What mattered was that he worked period. And this is why Gu Won didn't know how many contracts he had to sign to prevent spontaneous combustion haha. He didn't get that all he had to do was work. To earn back your soul, you have to be diligent, not take any shortcuts, and follow the rules. As a worker at Jesus Corp bank, if you're lazy for one second, you spontaneously combust haha. If you cheat and break rules, same thing haha.

One might think Gu Won would be able to get out of his job as a demon if he became human right? Not quite. I was wrong in my previous theory when I said after he became human, he would no longer face the threat of spontaneous combustion. He still faced the threat because he did not fulfill his end of the contract with God. Gu Won agreed to work as a demon for 200 years in exchange for his and Do Hee's souls. The keywords are "demon" and "200 years".

The moment he became fully human, it was like he breached his contract with God. Hence this was why he still faced the threat of spontaneous combustion even after he became a human. He was close to hitting 200 years exactly but you know some things got in the way haha. God was basically dangling a bone (i.e Do Hee) in front of Gu Won to motivate him to become a guardian demon faster. Oh and the last piece of his soul is in Do Hee!

So how much longer does Gu Won have to work for God? ~1.2 years. If you look at the clock at the beginning of Ep 9, you'll see the hour hand is pointing at ~8.80 which equates to ~1.2 years left haha. This is why later in the ep, the writer hints at this by having Gu Won say to Do Hee, "Otherwise, I might have to wait another year." So yeah, if you don't work, you die and if you break the contract, you die hahaha. I think Gu Won will continue to work for God even after his contract with her ends.

It was funny Gu Won was trying to blame God for everything. I was like boy you're the one that signed the damn contract haha. You made that decision and now you have to face the consequences of your actions haha. End of the day, God was just trying to help these two lovebirds out and to get Gu Won to grow the fuck up and know the true meaning of hard work haha. Oh, and she was also trying to get him to forgive himself for what happened in the past.

Something Punny

Let's take a quick break with something funny before we head into the next section! So what do you get when you cross a line? Read that really slowly and think about it for a minute.....YOU GET A CROSS HAHAHAHAHAHA. This writer though hahahahahaha. On a serious note, it's because Gu Won and Ga Yeong crossed the line that things have been going in a more positive direction.

Section 4: The Mechanics of The Tattoo Transfer

Before going into how everyone's choices influenced Gu Won and Do Hee's fate, let's first explore the mechanics of the tattoo transfer. I have to say, I'll never trust anything Park Bok Gyu says ever again haha. Because I believed in his little hypothesis, my theory was completely wrong haha.

The essential conditions for the tattoo transfer are as follows: 1) A full moon must be present, 2) Gu Won and Do Hee must face a life-and-death situation, 3) The person without the tattoo must genuinely desire to save the person with the tattoo, and 4) The person with the tattoo must be near death or on the brink of it. The location and timing of the ritual are inconsequential. As long as the specified conditions are met, the transfer can take place!

Section 5: Fate is a Web Woven By a Myriad of Choices

Section 5.1 Free Will Vs. Fate

Ok now let's talk about the great debate...Free Will vs Fate. Did anyone catch the writer's stance on this debate? It was conveyed in Ep 1 and Ep 10! The writer believes these two concepts can coexist with one another. This belief is known as "compatibilism"!

What is compatibilism? It's the belief that while external forces, such as God, upbringing, society, and environment, may play a role in shaping our fate, the ultimate responsibility for our decisions lies with us as individuals. All actions, whether deemed as good or evil, are fundamentally driven by the choices we make. These choices, in turn, are influenced by our internal desires, which can be shaped by external forces. In this perspective, we are active agents, empowered to play a significant role in shaping our own fates through the conscious decisions we make.

God can influence our choices, but the crux of the matter remains we are free to choose whether or not to align our choices with divine guidance. As my bf noted, "Those who don't obey God or adhere to their plans tend to find things don't work out for them. This underscores the idea that aligning our choices with divine guidance can lead to a more favorable fate.

In the show, Do Hee's decision to save Gu Won and vice versa, who had the cross tattoo, can be seen as a complex interplay between free will, determinism, and compatibilism. Her desire to save him reflects an exercise of personal agency, emphasizing the role of free will in her choice. Simultaneously, the symbolism of the cross introduces a deterministic element, suggesting an alignment with a divine plan. This dynamic highlights the compatibility between personal choice (free will) and external influences (determinism/fate), echoing the principles of compatibilism.

Simply put, God can present you with a plan, and you can choose to follow that plan or not. It's your decision. If you choose to follow the plan and things don't work out then don't go around blaming God because you're the one who made the decision, you're the one who's responsible. Nevertheless, the underlying belief is that adhering to God's plan can lead to favorable outcomes.

The ending scenes of Episode 10 exemplify the convergence of everyone choices influencing the fate of Gu Won and Do Hee. Let's start with the puppet master – God. If God hadn't conveyed to Gu Won that Do Hee needed to die to regain his power, what would have happened? Gu Won and Do Hee's plan would likely have failed, leading to Gu Won's demise. However, God disclosed this crucial piece of information to set in motion a chain of events that ultimately resulted in a positive outcome. I aslo see this as one of God's tests to determine if Gu Won was ready to have the training wheels taken off haha.

Gu Won had the option not to disclose to Park Bok Gyu what God had communicated, but he opted otherwise. As a result, Gu Won's actions led to Park Bok Gyu expressing his concerns about the necessity of Do Hee's death, which Ga Yeong overheard. This, in turn, led to Ga Yeong providing poison to Do Hee, a necessary step in fulfilling God's plan for Gu Won to regain his powers.

You see, God does know everything despite her saying otherwise (in this show, God does lie haha). She knows all the possible outcomes there are and intervenes strategically to ensure things align with her desires. Thank God, she's Team Dowon haha!

Section 5.2 Team Judas

I believe Ga Yeong's decision to disclose Gu Won's secret to Seok Min will have broader consequences than she anticipated. In the preview for Ep 11, we see Seok Hoon joining forces with Seok Min, with the motive behind Seok Hoon's decision left unrevealed. I can only speculate and say that Seok Hoon perceives joining forces with Seok Min as the lesser of two evils. Thanks to Ga Yeong, Seok Hoon views Gu Won as the embodiment of evil that needs to be exposed and crucified, and the only person with the necessary "power" for such an undertaking is Seok Min. My question is, is Seok Hoon ready to sell his soul to the Devil? In all honesty, Seok Hoon is just doing this because he wants Do Hee to be with him and not Gu Won.

I guess Seok Hoon and Seok Min will devise a plan to expose Gu Won as a demon/devil. I have no clue how exactly they're supposed to do that given when someone tries to film Gu Won doing magic, the camera cuts out. The only other way I could see them able to accomplish this goal is by hiring someone to stab Gu Won in public so people can see Gu Won can instantly heal. Or if they want to do it "The Bodyguard" style, they would hire someone to shoot Do Hee, and then Gu Won would jump in front to protect her which again would expose him as a supernatural being since he would instantly heal. In either case, People would then see Gu Won as a monster. They would try to hunt him down like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast and crucify him like Jesus. Then again this plan might fail because Gu Won being a human now might not be able to instantly heal anymore.

Another theory is that Seok Hoon is teaming up with Seok Min to take him down. Maybe Seok Hoon realized after the incident at the gas station that Seok Min was behind everything. Seok Hoon will go undercover to dig up evidence of Seok Min's crimes. This could be his redemption arc maybe. Again, I still have my doubts that Seok Hoon is actually a good guy, but I could definitely be wrong!

Section 5.3 Do Gyeong

I might be in the minority, but I genuinely hope Do Gyeong survived the car crash so that he can testify against his father. While I understand Do Gyeong crashed his car into the gas station because he saw death as the only way to escape his father's abuse, it was still wrong. I also think he did this as a way to get revenge on his father. By crashing his car into the gas station, the police would start investigating his father. In turn, this could lead them to discover Seok Min as the real culprit behind everything. Additionally, I think Do Gyeong was the one who stuck a knife into Kwang Chul's chest after he was burnt like a crispy duck. Do Gyeong probably did this for the same reason as I mentioned above...to lead cops and Gu Won to his father.

Section 6: Madam Ju, Murder of Do Hee's Parents, and Seok Min

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Madam Ju wasn't in Eps 9-10. This was odd given that in previous eps, she would always make some sort of appearance. I posed a question in my previous posts asking if Madam Ju was a figment of Do Hee's imagination or a real spirit/ghost. I've concluded Madam Ju is not just a figment of Do Hee's imagination. I think she's a real spirit/ghost.

Going back to Ep 1, Do Hee wished on her 28th (8+2=10 haha) birthday that Madam Ju would be around for a very long time to continue stabbing her in the back. God granted Do Hee's wish. God probably allowed Madam Ju to come back and talk to Do Hee as a spirit to help her heal. However, I think God restricts what Madam Ju can tell Do Hee. I feel like we'll see Madam Ju again after Do Hee discovers her dark secret.

In regards to the deaths of Do Hee's parents, I don't think Madam Ju killed them. I think it may have been an accident, but Madam Ju still blamed herself for it. Maybe what happened was that Madam Ju committed a crime out of greed like cutting costs on the production of electronic products or sabotaging a product to get insurance money and Do Hee's father found out about it. Subsequently, he went to investigate it/fix it and that's when the explosion happened.

Interestingly in Ep 10, we saw Seok Min with a tape recorder on the day Do Hee arrived at the Ju household. Could it be that Seok Min recorded his mother confessing her dirty secret and guilt for the deaths of Do Hee's parents? This might explain why Seok Min said, "So it's you, mother's way out." Maybe Seok Min was planning on using the recording to later blackmail her so he could get the chairman position.

Another theory I have is that Do Hee's father had discovered what Madam Ju was trying to cover up and then Seok Min found out about it. Seok Min then took the initiative to cover up his mother's dirty secret by getting rid of the only person who knew about it by planting a bomb in their car. Seok Min probably did all of this because he thought it would "win" his mother's love and approval and that she wouldn't see him as a devil anymore. Additionally, he thought in his own twisted way that by doing this, he was protecting his mother. Maybe Seok Min's real desire was that he just wanted Madam Ju to love him.

When Seok Min discovered Madam Ju's Chief Financial Officer had uncovered her secret and contacted Do Hee about it, Seok Min once again, turned to murder to "protect" his mother. Instead of receiving gratitude for his actions, Madam Ju scolded him for them. This was the final straw that broke the camel's back. If Seok Min couldn't have love, he would seek power, even if it meant killing Madam Ju. This act is what essentially transformed him into the real devil demon.

I just had an interesting thought. Seok Min killed the very thing he loved to obtain power, mirroring what God implied Gu Won should do with Do Hee to regain his powers (anyone getting Thanos and Soul Stone vibes haha). Perhaps this is the real difference between Seok Min and Gu Won. Gu Won wasn't willing to sacrifice the one he loved for power. Instead, he was willing to sacrifice himself to save the one he loved, which transformed him into a guardian demon. Gu Won's prioritization of Do Hee's needs over his own enabled him to obtain real power.

Section 7: Guardian Demon

Do Hee was right when she said Gu Won would be reborn as a perfect demon hahaha.....guardian demon that is! He probably follow a path similar to Lucifer Morningstar from the show "Lucifer," transforming into a figure with a psychologist-like role, assisting others in finding redemption and embracing goodness haha.

Section 7. 1 God Placed People From All Walks of Life In Gu Won's Path to Help Him Become His Best Self

Every person God strategically placed in Gu Won's path served a unique purpose, guiding him toward personal growth and offering them a chance at salvation. Take, for instance, the Wild Dogs. God orchestrated their encounter to provide Gu Won with an opportunity to rehabilitate them, transforming them into a force for good rather than evil. Similarly, the girl and her mother were placed in Gu Won's path so that he could learn guilt and compassion. Additionally, they were placed in his path so he could use his guardian demon powers to heal the girl without damning her mother to Hell!

In the case of Ga Yeong and Seok Min, I think God placed them in Gu Won's path so he can learn to forgive those who basically killed him in the past. Forgiving those whose choices once led to one's death is a challenge, but it's a necessary step in Gu Won's journey toward becoming a guardian demon.

Simultaneously, God granted Ga Yeong and Seok Min a second chance at redemption for their past actions. Witnessing Gu Won and Do Hee's genuine love for each other might be the very thing that contributes to the healing of their dark hearts, leading them to realize that deceit and manipulation should not be employed to obtain love. Quite frankly, they both need to learn to let go and move on haha.

As for Park Bok Gyu, God strategically placed him in Gu Won's life to be a positive influence, reminding Gu Won of his humanity and encouraging him to embrace his role as a guardian demon. In return, God restored Park Bok Gyu's past memories, preventing him from inadvertently signing another contract and facing a second stint in Hell. It's a fair exchange, highlighting God's generous repayment for those who serve her purpose. Random thought, is Secretary Shin like a real angel or something? Because "shin" in Korean does mean "god" haha.

Last but certainly not least, Do Hee. God placed her in Gu Won's path to assist him in confronting his inner demons, particularly the guilt he harbors for failing to protect her in their past lives. Forgiving oneself is one of the most challenging feats, and Do Hee is poised to help Gu Won realize that the tragic events of the past were not his fault. This, perhaps, stands as one of the final steps before Gu Won can fully embrace his role as a guardian demon.

God also put Do Hee on Gu Won's path so he can help Do Hee in her journey of self-forgiveness. Do Hee carried the burden of guilt for the deaths of her parents and Madam Ju, and God intended for Gu Won to be a guiding light in helping her forgive herself. Moreover, God orchestrated their meeting to help Do Hee overcome her lingering fears, including her aversion to water (in Ep 9 she didn't want to get on the ferry haha). I think her fear of water stemmed from the traumatic events of their past lives, where she and Gu Won met their demise in the ocean.

Section 7.2 No More Following The Rules in The Demon Book

In my last post, I predicted Gu Won would break one of the rules in the demon book to protect Do Hee and that's exactly what happened in Ep 10! Can you guess which rule he broke? It was the rule that stated, "You can't bring back the dead". With the training wheels off, Gu Won could now bring back the dead and that's how Do Hee was alive again and fully healed. You're probably like wait why didn't Gu Won spontaneously combust? Because he became a guardian demon!

You see, the rules in the demon book only applied to devil demons, not guardian demons. What does this mean? It means Gu Won could now do all the things the rule book said devil demons couldn't do (review my previous post for the rules). According to Kwang Chul, humans were greater than the devil or God because they could be anything. Be it the devil, god, or something much greater. In Gu Won's case, he became something much greater. He became a mutant.... a mortal human with demon powers just like I previously said.

Here comes that quote again, "With great powers come great responsibilities." God couldn't make Gu Won a guardian demon right off the bat. He had to go through a bunch of trials and tribulations beforehand so he could learn to use those powers responsibly. I mean, can you imagine if God gave Gu Won those God-like powers with no rules back when he was a spoiled lazy rich boy during Joseon? The world would be destroyed as we know it!

However, it's not over yet people! Remember Gu Won still has 1.2 years left of work in his contract with God! If he doesn't finish up that contract, he can still spontaneously combust regardless if he's a guardian demon or not! Also, Gu Won can kill now which is scary! If I were Seok Min, I would be shaking in my boots right now. Madam Ju did say Seok Min would have to pay for his sins sooner or later!

In the end, Gu Won won't be a man who couldn't have his cake and eat it too. He'll become a man who can have his cake and eat it too! He just has to learn to be a good hard-working boy like Pinocchio haha. If you work hard and live a righteous life, God rewards you with all of your heart's desires (The atheist in me wants to vomit... sorry haha).

Section 8: Who Leaked Information About Gu Won and Do Hee's Whereabouts?

Everyone is thinking it's Secretary Shin who leaked the info about Gu Won and Do Hee's location. However, I think it was Do Gyeong. Seok Min probably had Kwang Chul place a tracker on Do Hee's car and when Do Gyeong hacked Seok Min's phone, he was able to obtain the tracking data. As for Team Judas, maybe Seok Hoon had placed a tracker in Do Hee's purse or put himself as a contact in her "Find My" app!

Section 9: Symbolism

Section 9.1 The Necklaces

In my first MD post, I highlighted the presence of both a silver and a gold necklace worn by Gu Won and Do Hee, and I've now unraveled the significance behind them: Gold symbolizes the Sun and Heaven, while Silver represents the Moon and Hell. Let's delve into Gu Won's necklaces first.

As mentioned previously, the silver cross necklace was speculated to either have belonged to Do Hee or been a gift from her to Gu Won. Notably, Gu Won's gold necklace doesn't feature a cross (unlike Do Hee's necklaces, which bear lover's knots). Why is this? Simply put, Gu Won didn't embrace faith in God and wasn't a Catholic. Gu Won wearing the silver necklace with the cross serves as a testament to Do Hee's steadfast faith, which played a pivotal role in saving them from eternal damnation in Hell. At the same time, when I think of silver, I think of Judas who betrayed Jesus for 30 silver coins, werewolves, and vampires haha.

The choice of material may also offer insights into Gu Won and Do Hee's past. Gold, being an expensive material, was a luxury afforded only by the wealthy, such as noblemen. In contrast, silver, being more affordable, aligns with the humbler status of individuals like kisaengs. Silver exudes humility akin to Do Hee, while gold mirrors the extravagant and ostentatious nature of Gu Won haha.

Now, turning to Do Hee's necklaces – they symbolize the enduring connection between her and Gu Won, transcending realms of Hell and Heaven forever and to infinity! Their love acts as a powerful force, enabling them to overcome any barriers to be reunited.

Section 9.2 Flowers

Section 9.2a Devil's Trumpets

Remember Devil's Trumpets from "The Glory" haha? Its scientific name is Datura stramonium, also known as devil's snare (any Harry Potter fans here? haha). This plant belongs to the nightshade family, a group where many members are poisonous (potatoes, eggplants, tomatoes, etc are part of this family, but they're not toxic). While Devil's Trumpets can be highly toxic, they can also possess medicinal properties and have been used to treat various illnesses. Occult practitioners sometimes consume this flower for visionary experiences.

In the story of Romeo and Juliet, the poison the star-crossed lovers consumed was from a member of the nightshade family called "Belladonna." Considering this, Ga Yeong's poison to Do Hee could have been either Devil's Trumpets or Belladonna. Additionally, the Devil's Trumpet might symbolize Gu Won, suggesting that despite the toxicity of his family (the Ju family), he is a benevolent person capable of healing rather than harming. He's an eggplant haha!

Section 9.2b Poppy

What do poppies symbolize? Death, dreams, and remembrance. It's fitting given in the Ep 11 preview, Gu Won will have a dream of his past life and remember shit. Who knows maybe we will finally get to see how he died? The poppy in his ear could also be a foreshadow that he will die again verrryyyy soon haha.

Section 9.3 Snakes

Christianity seems to have a knack for twisting once-positive symbols into something negative! Before snakes became synonymous with evil, the Devil, and Satan, they were revered as good spirits in Greek and Korean mythology

In Ancient Greece, snakes were often linked to Agathodaimon, a lesser deity meaning "good/noble spirit" (this is what Gu Won is; I bet the writer will mention this term haha). Agathodaemons were household gods and protectors of those who worshipped them. Representations of Agathodaimon featured snakes with a poppy flower (similar to Gu Won's in the EP 11 preview) and an ear of grain, symbolizing prosperity and fertility respectively. This deity was also portrayed as a man holding a cornucopia, akin to Thanksgiving traditions. Ancient Greeks would honor Agathodaimon with a few drops of wine after a meal.

In Greek myths, Agathodaimon was believed to be the spouse of Tyche (probably Do Hee), the goddess of fate and fortune (also known as Lady Fortuna or Lady Luck). In Egypt, Agathodaimon was associated with Osiris, the Lord of the Underworld, and Shai, the god of fate. Basically, you would want Agathodaimon because he would bring you good luck, wealth, and protection.

In Korean mythology, snakes were also viewed as creatures of good luck. For example, in Korean myths, the Imoogi was one big fat snake that brought good luck and fertility to crops. However, it was believed if you ever prevented an Imoogi from ascending to the Heavens, bad shit would happen like plagues, typhoons, infertile land, and famine. The overall message is don't kill snakes because bad shit will happen. I'm suddenly getting a bad feeling Gu Won is going to get killed and a natural disaster will occur haha. For those wanting to learn more about Imoogis, you can click on the link below or Google it.

So y'all are probably wondering why the hell i'm telling you all of this? It's because in Ep 10, Gu Won rolled what is known as "snake eyes". The reason this roll is called "snake eyes" is because the 1's resemble the two pips to the eyes of a snake. In craps, this roll can either mean you're really lucky or unlucky, representing an odd phenomenon. For example, when you roll snake eyes on the initial roll, you have to roll it again on the next roll to win the round. However, the probability of rolling "snake eyes" is very low (2.78%).

Another thing to mention is how 2 odd numbers can equal an even number where 1+1=2. You could also view Gu Won's roll as a good omen because it's 1...1....11 which is considered a lucky number! Our little lovers are snakes who are bringers of luck and fertility haha.

FYI, one of God's rolls was a "push" or "standoff" roll which are two 6's. Like snake eyes, this roll has the same low probability of 2.78%. The funny thing about Gu Won's roll and God's roll is that Gu Won's roll is the lowest value you can get which is 2 and God's roll is the highest value you can get which is 12.

Section 10: OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS

I have none. I'm brain-dead from researching, thinking of stuff, and editing this monster of a post. K byeeee

[theproloser34]

So at the end of every year, I always find it interesting to see how my music taste has changed throughout the year. Which is why I LOVE Spotify Wrapped day and seeing what my top 5 songs of the year were. And this year, I was actually kinda surprised.

Now, it’s not wrong, I absolutely played these songs a bunch, but I wouldn’t say they were my FAVORITE songs this year. They just came out very early in the year and were able to add up plays before anything else. So that got me thinking, what were my FAVORITE songs this year? Not the ones that I played the most, but what had the most impact, whether it just be an earworm or the meaning of the song. So why not write and list them out! I like analyzing my thoughts too much.

I’ll keep my choices to just one song per artist. It'll be however many songs I wanna add. Details don’t really matter, it’s my list, I add whatever I want. Expect a VERY long posts and a lot of links to songs if you want to check them out. (DO IT. I swear I have good music taste.)

1) First off, I gotta start with DO BETTER by Ab-Soul off of his latest album HERBERT. Ab-Soul has been in my top 5 rappers probably for the past decade and my second favorite of TDE other than Kendrick. HERBERT was his most personal album to date, and nothing shows that better than DO BETTER. A lot of his album is inspired by the events that happened in his life during the pandemic including one of his best friends dying and his own failed suicide attempt and his subsequent trip to rehab. You can easily hear all the pain and survivor's guilt he has, but also the determination to turn around and come out stronger. The instrumentation is both extremely haunting and calming. I always come out of this feeling inspired to deal with my own issues. The line "I gotta do better, I gotta do better, I guided you better. There's nothing they can do that I can't do better. Better yet, there's nothing I can do that I can't do better. Yeah, I'm better," never stops giving me chills.

2) I've been slowly getting into EDM these past couple years. And one big part of my learning of the genre is Skrillex, who came back and surprise dropped TWO albums in TWO days. And both were really good albums that showed multiple different styles of EDM. Whether you prefer more dark and grungy beats like the songs in Quest For Fire, or if you rather have more bright, poppy sounds in Don't Get Too Close, there will be something for you in these two albums. The song that most stood out to me though was a good mix of the two with the opener for Quest For Fire, Leave Me Like This. The standout part of this song is the earworm of a vocal hook, which gives a wonderful strong melodic element to the song. Combined with the synths creates a strong hypnotic pre-drop section for the song. Of course the drop contains the more grungy parts of the song, especially the growly bass the introduces the drop of the song. But my favorite part of this section tis the repeated, pitched up "left, right, left" chant helps keep the rhythmic center in the song as the drums get more complex in the drop. Even if you don't enjoy EDM music, I'd listen to Skrillex's new releases because you get such a different arrangement of sounds and really see his versatility.

3) Anyone who knows me knows that I have been horribly addicted to hyperpop these past three years and it is definitely unhealthy to my ear drums. And 100 gecs has absolutely been in my top 3 hyperpop artists since they came out. So when they announced they were releasing an album this year, it was instantly one of my most anticipated albums of this year. And they absolutely delivered with 10000 Gecs. They continue to create inventive music with the same brashness, humor, and insanity that drew me to them in the first place. And I'd say this album is just slightly less abrasive to new fans than their past album. Nothing anywhere near as crazy as Money Machine, but all of the tracks contain the unique brand of energy and mix of hip-hop, rock, and pop, with and added element of ska on some songs like I Got My Tooth Removed and Frog On The Floor. But my favorite has to go to the opener of this album, Dumbest Girl Alive. Right away with the first 15 seconds, you can tell they're back on their bullshit with the opening guitar riff and gunshot impacts. And as soon as the drums come in, you get their wonderful blown out sound where I can't help but turn up my speakers to the max. But the obvious standout of this track is Laura Les's performance of this track. A super catchy melody, an earworm of a recurring phrase, "I'm the dumbest girl alive," and multiple quotable lines create a great verse. Plus the bouncy bass continuing with it creates such a wonderful short track that makes me just want to keep repeating it over and over again.

4) The more music I listen to, the more I am drawn to the weird, more eclectic styles of music. Especially with hip-hop, with so much getting made, only the really unique stuff sticks out to me now. Luckily that's the exact type of music Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA make and together they made one of the best hip-hop albums of this year with Scaring The Hoes. And this music will, in fact, scare the hoes.

JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown are already well known in the Abstract Hip-hop genre, each being strongly characterized by their unique self-production and unique delivery respectively. Both of them have their own unique strength and coming together, they create a landscape of sounds and tracks that you will not hear on any other hip-hop album this year. As has become pretty evident, I'm a sucker for intros. And this album is no different because the intro, Lean Beef Patty, is easily my favorite from this album and was also in my top 5 songs played this year. Even though this song is just 2 minutes, it contains my favorite things about both artists. A sped up sample almost drowned out by the rest of the production, a signature of JPEGMAFIA production. Brash, bold lyrics from JPEGMAFIA such as "Fuck y'all niggas, I feel like Papa John," and "Fuck Elon Musk, eight dollars too much," which honestly just became the slogan for the year. Finally Danny Brown's energy and delivery give an exciting final verse to this song. And wonderful way to start one of the best albums of the year.

5) A group that came out of nowhere for me was grouptherapy. grouptherapy. is a music group consisting of Jadagrace, TJOnline, and SWIM. Their new album "i was mature for my age, but i was still a child" popped up randomly in my Spotify and I was surprised by the quality of there sounds, their charisma, and their chemistry. Each artist clearly has their own style that fits well with the other two and they all trade off so well in each of their tracks, which is essential to a good group dynamic.

Their new album has multiple standouts that show all of the groups' talents such as American Psycho and FUNKFEST. But my personal favorite off of this album is "club song :(" where Jadagrace takes the front stage in a mainly acoustic guitar song. Her voice is allowed to take a front seat and it creates a striking and kinda haunting melody. TJOnline joins in the latter half of the song to add some well added harmony to the song. This was the song that I kept coming back to from this project. Check this group out, cause they should have much more buzz than they have now.

6) Every once in a while, you'll be at a concert and you'll see an opening act that completely surprises you. And then afterwards, you slowly see them gaining more and more clout as they slowly grow to superstardom. That happened to me with Jordan Ward. I had the opportunity to see him perform and a JID x Smino concert as the opener and he absolutely impressed with his energy and singing.

I forgot about him until he released the deluxe version of him latest album FORWARD. I remembered his name and decided to listen finally and he has everything to be one of the next RnB stars. Since then, his album is one a bunch of top albums of the year lists and has even had a NPR tiny desk concert.

My favorite of his so far is MUSTARD. The guitar arpeggiating the chords, the slightly pitched up vocals, and live played drums on this track just work in the best way. 6lack also joins and adds a great second verse. Listen to him, he's gonna be up next soon and you'll want to see his rise.

7) Finally, there's the artist of the year for me, Underscores. I've known of them for a while, but only REALLY got into their music this year. I devoured their last two albums and have been playing them on repeat all year until she announced her new album Wallsocket. It was easily my most anticipated album this year and luckily it exceeded all expectations.

Underscores is a very hard artist to describe because she was one of the hyperpop classic artists but has evolved her sound beyond that. There is still some of that overblown hip-hop, dance pop sound around her music, but there is also more of what I'd say is folk rock in there now with this album. Either way, she still manages to produces some of the most unique soundscapes that I've heard this year.

All three of her singles that she released were in completely different areas. The rock focused "Cops and Robbers", the creepy, slow, and uncomfortable "You don't even know who I am", or the dance EDM focused "Locals (Girls like us)" had be so confused about what the sound of the album would be like. All it did was build up the hype and so I HAD to watch the livestream of the album on release day. And that is easily on of my favorite memories of the year, freaking out with the chat as we uncovered how good of an album this is.

While every song on this project is wonderful, the song the immediately attached itself to my brain was "Uncanny long arms". The song structure here is just hypnotizing to me. The quiet opening of the song going into the first chorus and the first "I can touch my toes" belt is forever into my mind. And the vocal stuttering and breakdown afterwards let me know this song was special immediately but it only gets better.

Jane Remover has a standout second verse on this song and her voice sounds angelic and just floats over the guitar. She had an amazing year in her own career and this song is a standout moment. Her turn on the chorus is even better with added instrumentation and the pure emotion you hear in her voice.

But easily the favorite part of this track to me is the outro, which to long underscores fans will be no surprise. The song being stripped down before jumping right into a bombastic, more rock version of "Kinko's field trip" brought me right back to 2021 and I damn near screamed hearing this on the live stream. Easily my favorite music moment and favorite song of this year. Listen to underscores everyone, you won't regret it.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I don't have anywhere near as much to say about these songs, but I still want to bring them up because they're fun and were big parts of this year for me.

Stasis - leastfavorite!: Discovered her this year and she is another hyperpop artist that I think deserves more recognition. She released her first EP late last year so listen to it!

nothing2say - Jay Kim: Another artist I discovered this year but released an EP last year. Not really hyperpop, more midwest emo vibes with a little bit of brakence vibes with him. But another album that I'm excited to see grow after listening to them this year.

Damage Gets Done - Hozier: I shouldn't have to say this on this website, but Hozier is a pretty good artist. I listened to the new album he dropped this year and this duet was a standout to me and just couldn't get out of my head.

Maybe Man - AJR: As we now know, I'm a sucker for openers, and damn, is AJR good at them. They always make them fit the themes and sounds of the albums so well. "Maybe Man" is no exception. Probably would've made it onto the favorites list is it came out sooner.

Alright that's it. This post is long enough. Please listen to them! I swear they're good! And I promised not to always talk about music this long! (It's still gonna happen sometimes though. I'm sorry, I can't stop myself.) Also please share your favorite songs! I love seeing people's music tastes and what really connects with them!

[minty-bubblegum]

My requests are open!! ><

Small introduction

Hiii! I'm minty-bubblegum, and you may refer to me as the following (which ever form you're comfortable with): minty; mint; Lilypad; and moots may call me whatever they please :3. (Also, I'm going to call my followers special names mwahaha >:3)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

I am an artist and writer, and I'm willing to take requests for both fanart and writing. I am still somewhat new to tumblr and figuring things out, but I understand the basics ^^;.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Rules, fandoms, etc.

For art requests, I will do any content except anything that I deem pornographic. I'm also not really that good at drawing such things in the first place; for I enjoy drawing cutesy things the most. So, maybe don't request anything that's NSFW at all. Trust me, I tried to draw guts one time and they looked like worms 😭

For writing requests, I am open to everything. I am more willing with writing for personal reasons, so yes I am open to NSFW with kinks and fetishes; just please, PLEASE no feet! 😥(unless we're talking about my little blorbos, then that's a different story >:D) ALSO, writing formats. Headcannons, scenarios, etc. etc. All are welcome. I will not write NSFW for minor characters. Any relationship is platonic unless the character is aged up.

Also, once I actually start writing some real stuff, I may make an AO3 account and cross-post from there. :P

ALSO also, asks. They are open and we can brainrot together, or just talk about whatever. Please, I think it would be funny and I promise I'm friendly :).

Another thing; please be very specific on what you want. I tend to go into depressive states and have no motivation, and if it's too broad I may struggle to finish it 😭. And school is starting, so I might be slow.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

FINALLY, we get to what I'll be taking requests for. I'm a gal who loves the internet, so this is gonna be a few :3.

Twisted Wonderland (All characters are automatically aged up typically, unless stated to be in a certian time.)

Black Butler (I am still relatively new to this.)

Ensemble Stars (I don't know much about any of the lore and I don't really play events either. I only play for my babygirls and the banger songs.)

Bungo Stray Dogs (I haven't watched any of the latest seasons I'm trying to catch up. 🙏)

South Park (I've watched literally everything. Also, only SFW unless they are explicitly stated to be an adult [16+] or aged up to a certain age, as stated previously.)

Bands I like >:D (This one is weird, I know. It's just. I've had some funny ideas idk man ;-;)

And if people ever want to, you may request for some of my own personal characters :3.

Thanks for reading!

~ Signing off, yours truly.

P.S. @busycloudy you get VIP benefits. I will not elaborate on that, it's up to you to decide what it means.

[valleynix]

finally getting around to reading and editing this chapter and i realized it’s almost 100 pages long. here is baby to distract you from the delay

[chaos-le-mieux]

Error Flowey: Profile 1

Well, considering he's somewhat part of the Error Chara's story, I figured I'd shed some info on him. And since his role in the main story is somewhat minor, I'll be giving more information on what he can do, since there's a good chance I'll never need to use any of it. Just for reference sake, if anyone is curious. Back Story: He comes from a Classic Universe, one of the Undertale Game worlds. As Omega Flowey, the Player in control of Frisk was never able to free the six souls, and they gave up. And Never Came Back! But Nobody Came... (This actually happened to one of my IRL friends a few years ago). Being stuck in a sub void of nothingness, in a game where he cannot interact with anything, he got desperate. Since he was able to create a dimension with a dummy save file and save states, he figured he could modify and edit values of his world. After six months of solitude, of messing around with the games code, he began to mess with his own. And after some trial and error Error ErRoR ERROR... his world... was no more. Emerging in the void, all his memories in tact and a new colour pallet, he would wonder. Looking for anything to hold his interest, to perhaps give purpose to his uncaring existence. Appearance: He has near Black skin, rich Blue petals, Purple stem and leaves, and White floaty "Error" messages that hovers around him. His eye sockets are White and Hollow, unless he closes them around his pupils. His pupils are Magenta, though he can hide them making his eyes look Hollow and White. Stats: ATK: 66? DEF: 6? LV: 20     EXP: 99999Error Attack strength is high due to two factors, High LV and being an "Error" (what ever that means) Defense is still technically high compared to regular monsters, but not ground breaking. Though, with strong attack stat, and high HP pool, plus glitchiness, I don't think it matters to much. Level of Violence is 20, a.k.a. Max due to not caring. He's incredibly distant from anyone and everyone (almost) that he can easily bring himself to harm others. Execution Points are overclocked because of all the AU's he's destroyed on a whim. Special Abilities: Substrate Burrow: Can burrow into any surface (unless a coder, hacker, or creator puts barriers in place), including the void floor. This is how he's able to get information across the void. He's able to spy on any target and stay out of sight. And he's a curious one, remember, he's read every book, he's burned every book. Plant Tendrils: These operate similar to the coding strings of other Errors, but are vines instead Friendliness Pellets: They're bullets, let's not kid ourselves Transformations: Depending on how many Human Souls, or Monster Souls Equivalents, will determine what level he can transform into. Soul Level: 0: Error Flowey 1: Error Asriel (Young - similar to how he looked in flashbacks) 2: Error Asriel (Pre Teen) 3: Error Asriel (Teen) 4: Error Asriel (Young Adult Similar to how he looked during phase 1 of the final battle) 5: Error Asriel (Adult) 6: Error Omega Flowey 7: Error of HyperDeath As Error Asriel he will also don a Golden Heart Locket. He also hates being in his Asriel forms, while much stronger, his compassion and emotions eventually start flooding back in. And lets just say he has a lot of baggage he wishes not to have emotions for. Error Flowey's Goal!? Aside from battling boredom, he does have a personal goal, that's more or less a curse on him. Whenever he see's a Chara that reminds him of his own, he feels obligated to help them achieve their goal. The reason for this is in his mind he has failed his Chara three times. First time is the buttercup incident. Second time is letting them both die at the hands of Humans. Third time is destroying his home world, making His Chara's sacrifices all in vain, as monsters can never be set free in a destroy and erased world Relationships: 6 Human Souls: In his travels though the void he encountered 6 souls that reside within his inventory. Bravery, Justice, Kindness, Patients, Integrity, Perseverance. These souls all come from corrupted worlds where they felt cheated and wanted a second chance to set things right. They act as a council of sorts. Guiding Flowey to help him make informed decisions as to not just destroy everything he sees as an inconvenience. Though most of the time they just sleep. Error Chara: Even though he knows this Chara is not His Chara, he still feels something familiar about them. To the point where he can track them down no matter where they are. He knows their plan involves uniting Sans's and Chara's across the multiverse, and despite also thinking the plan is stupid and destined to fail, he will provide as much information as they need. He will also try to keep distractions away from Error Chara so they can stay focused on their goal. Enjoy~

[idiotsonlyevent]

i wonder where the idea of chilchuck being a deadbeat came from when theres like. no textual evidence for it ?

he knows what all of them are up to; he still writes to flertom and she sent him his neckwarmer, so that to me implies that they at least have a somewhat positive relationship?

its more ambiguous with meijack and puckpatti, but since meijack is also a picklock, i wouldn't be surprised if he taught her himself, considering how trades are often passed down through families, and because he talks about sending people to her if he dies.

also the way he talks about puckpatti is very like... it's obvious he wants her to take things more seriously, but he's accepting, and his tone here reads more fond to me than anything else.

like, he keeps his daughters' old toys under his desk? that doesn't scream 'deadbeat' at all, it screams 'empty nester' who doesn't know how to reach out or is scared to do so

EDIT: i know a lot of the 'deadbeat dad' stuff is jokes, but some people are Not joking and genuinely think chilchuck is a bad dad. this post is not saying that you cant joke about it; it is just outlining what canon shows regarding his (clearly positive) relationship with his kids.

[soranker]

my girlfriend

[nondelphic]

me planning out my story: this will be so straightforward and easy!

me writing: why is there a subplot about flour?

[michipan]

The way I had to physically stand up and take a lap…. I’m literally not lying when I say that my stomach hurts and I feel so dizzy and insane rn…. this was so hot I can’t even make coherent sentences— I’m just typing in my notes app rn and hoping that it makes sense in the end 😭 my face feels HOT and I’m literally going feral every time I think back to what I just read i’m so sorry for the long ramble

Ur writing just??? never fails to amaze me??? The pacing and the mood was sooo well done, I adore how you wrote about Yeonjun’s pov as well, and how the mc felt a bit shameful spending so much money on him lmaoo (bc honestly? she’s so real for that. i’d be so disappointed in myself but also it’s yeonjun so)

Their dynamic is just so satisfying as well?? Like the mc was so cute with how shy she was, and the fact that it only made Yeonjun more interested in her bc of it literally had me foaming at the mouth— looks like she achieved her “i’m not like other girls” dream skghslgh

ALSOOO the tension before the reveal is so??? SO GOOD UGH it had me on the edge of my seat bc yeonjun is so real for that 😭😭 like lowkey scared that he’ll be disappointed but still eager to see the mc— also the fact that it gets to the point where he feels like it’s one-sided bc of how shy and reserved the mc is— ohhhhmyyy godddsghskjhlshg I love ur mind you’re amazing

and that reveal. I kid you not that reveal had me screaming and KICKING MY FEET the fact that he got so much more desperate just from her voice??!!(%*^@$ the way you write yj genuinely has me melting my god— and the way he’s whining and begging to see herrrr ahhhhghsglh

the whole. the whole last scene literally had me in shambles. kicking my feet, screaming, putting my face into my hands— i can never get enough of ur writing you’re so talented and amazing you’re seriously one of my favorite writers here

hi i’m very excited for the sleepover! can i request 38 with yeonjun from the prompt list

yeonjun + “I want to see you, want to watch you come.” 

wordcount: 3.5k

tags: camboy!yeonjun, cam sex obv, dirty talk, masturbation, implied anal but not in detail nor is it related to reader & yeonjun’s interaction. use of: y/n, baby, babe, pretty

note: *heavy breathing* not proof read sorry lmao

~

You weren’t exactly the type to watch dude’s jerk off online. Really you aren’t. You are, however, the type to watch Eboyfantasy jerk off though. He kind of woke something up inside of you. 

Given, in terms of porn there’s not a whole lot you hadn’t already seen and fucking avoided. Live cams and their little cash grab tricks were your least favorite and most avoided, until the cash grab got you…And it got you bad.

At this point, you don’t care how much money you’ve spent watching this stranger pleasure himself. He’s given you some of the best orgasms you’ve ever had, alone in your room, as he speaks out to a general audience. It got to the point where, you know, yeah, you made that account to watch more than just the public show. That was your first orgasm after your initial interest in the strikingly beautiful man spread out on camera with his loose, ripped up t-shirt covering what everyone wanted to see. 

You watched, and then you started typing, thirsting much like everyone else was. Wanting to be the “you’re not like other girls” girl for him, but ultimately, always being just like the other girls and men typing dirty words to him. 

Those words surely didn’t get him off, but the praise. Oh yeah, that did something. You could see the way he would close his eyes when the chat was doing nothing for him, relying on his own hand and fuck-toys to get him there. You could definitely see how his eyes would stay glued to the chat, open and shining when there was praise and money though. Things like, “So pretty, you sound so pretty like this.” or “If i send you $300 worth of coins, would you say my name?”

He always said those names, but it was never your name. That was too personal for some 1k viewers to hear from a pair of slack, moaning lips. It was something you wanted so badly at this point though. Spending half of your paycheck to keep him in that lavish bed, with all of those expensive toys to fuck into and be fucked by. 

Safe to say, you felt about as pathetic as he sounded every single time he drenched himself in his own cum. Even safer to say when you realized his recent update, claiming to offer private shows for a limited time, you felt pathetically aroused at the idea. 

Limited time, for a very limited man, with your limited ass bank account. 

God, the hours of overtime were so worth it, you think, as you sit here in front of your laptop. Unsure of what to expect, but trying to be prepared for your name to finally sound from those lips. Six hundred dollars for this was not a hard bargain when he comes on the screen, waving at you with a polite smile and a small nod. 

“One second babe, let me just grab a few things.”

You politely nod, realizing he definitely didn’t see that shit considering you’re not on camera. 

You: take your time, we have an hour!

That exclamation mark looks stupid, but it was a better option than using a fucking emoji. 

“So sweet and understanding, I should have been better prepared. You’re only my third private show, I’m not so good with someone else’s schedule–” He giggles, stepping off camera to presumably grab something. “I wouldn’t mind if you were a little annoyed with me, you know.”

You: oh? you’re into that?

You: you seemed to like praise, i didn’t want to step over a boundary.

His face comes into view as he reads, smiling with a breathy chuckle. 

“Observant, huh? I’m very adventurous. Sometimes getting everything I want can be a little boring.” 

You pause, staring at him on your screen and didn’t realize that you’d ever want to play a part for him like this. You expect him to jerk off as usual, dirty talk, and simply moan your name. But it appears he is actually putting some effort into it. 

“You didn’t mention in your request what you wanted to see? Does this mean I can decide how to fuck myself for you?”

God, the heat in your cheeks. The way your stomach flips each time you realize he’s talking to you and not a general audience. 

You: i just like it when you feel good. Would love to see how you do it when you’re not putting on a show. 

Another chuckle from him, and honestly, you’re kicking your feet out of fondness at him and his bright little smile, with his bright messy hair, and his pretty fingers. 

“You want me to just– jerk off like normal?” He tilts his head with a slight smirk. “You paid six hundred dollars to watch me finish in ten minutes when we’ve got an hour because when I’m not on cam, and i’m not getting paid, it’s just a quick cumanddone?”

Well, no. Of course not. 

You: I paid 600 dollars for you to use my name. 

“Is that what you want? Give me your name then,” He pauses, letting his loose shirt fall down his shoulder as he places a bottle of lube down onto the bed. “I’ll make it sound good. I promise.” He boasts himself up, pulling his pinky up to the camera and looking into it with doe-eyes. 

Something inside of you clicks, feeling nervous and kind of embarrassed. You can barely bear to look at the way his eyes go to your messages as you type them out at lightning speed. 

You: I’ve never done this before so I don’t know how to ask for things, you might have to help me.

You: my name is y/n. 

You: i just feel good when you do and it feels weird to say that to you one on one

“Oh, I’ll make you feel good babe,” He smiles again, lying back on his bed and presenting to you the bulge in his boxer briefs. “I’m honored to be your first.” 

Your eyes actually devour this man and the way he glances up at the camera with cheeky charm and then back down at himself, inspecting how hard he’s gotten and how hard he plans to get. 

You find yourself typing, then erasing, then typing, then erasing in this short span of silence between the two. Of course, for him it’s entirely silent save for the music he seems to play every time he’s on camera. For you though, it’s too quiet and the air feels heavy as you watch him work that six hundred dollars out of your bank account. 

Given, he could genuinely just lay like this, with his lazy fingers caressing across his length before dragging up his chest and lifting the shirt slightly more. 

“You’re shy, I can tell.” He eventually explains, noting the lack of typing from you and probably the large amount of staring. “What made you start watching me?” 

You pause, still watching the way his movements remain lazy as he speaks to you. 

You: you just looked really pretty in the thumbnail.

“I bet you looked just as pretty watching me,” He looks down at himself, grabbing his length through the fabric and letting out a sigh of relief. “Wanted it to be you, didn’t you?.” He adds, looking straight into the camera.

And it’s normal for him, he thinks. Wondering what his viewers look like and the ratio of how many he would actually let touch him if given the chance. He gets off to the idea of being watched, gets off to the idea of someone shyly watching, and of course, gets off on the idea of someone so docile, like you, paying such a sum just to get him to moan a specific name. 

Surely, a lot of his followers are not quite up to his standard. Most of them are lonely, unable to find partners, or too socially awkward to talk to an interest outside of a paid sex-stream. He really does wonder though, how many of his viewers use his as a guilty pleasure. Working their day job as if they’re not dirty talking a computer screen in a darkened bedroom. 

“Right, babe?” He tilts his head, looking into the camera.

He’s right. 

~ 

Is it a parasocial relationship if he’s moaned your name various times through various sessions? Is it really one-sided when he asks you through the camera, drowsy voice evident and chest drenched in his own cum that, maybe, he’s looking forward to the next show? 

Are you thinking too much into it? 

Perhaps it’s the money, or perhaps he really meant it last time when he mentioned wanting to try something new if you come back to him. That something new was chuckled out of him with deep breaths of post-orgasm bliss. “I’d like to see you next time, if you’re okay with that?” 

He really thought that by suggesting that, you’d never come back. And no, he doesn’t typically ask his viewers to reveal themselves because time and time again it’s happened without his requesting it, and time and time again it has been insanely disappointing. 

You can probably imagine that he butters up all of his viewers like this, but that isn’t the case at all. What you don’t know is that, yeah, he gets a lot of private shows but none of the viewers are as polite as you. They don’t type in a way that makes them seem small, the request a lot out of him. But you, you’re really just there to enjoy the show and he can’t help but feel that like, yeah, maybe he wants to enjoy a show too. 

It felt too one sided, which is rare for him to think. Usually it’s all about him, but he’s truly made it about you. Asking what you want from him and only receiving a polite “What did you have in mind this time?” 

Is it so weird that his horny brain desperately wanted to erase his curiosity about the other person on his screen? Probably.

But then, he gets that little email. The one with your name in it, paying full price yet again despite his insistence on giving you discount codes. He smiles to himself, glancing around the small shop and pretending that the job he works during the day surely pays his living compared to, well, you. 

He doesn’t even read the message because he knows damn well that you don’t place any specific instructions. You simply send money, and wait for him at the appointed time. Under the implication of what he said last time though, wanting to see you this time? He wonders if you took this week-long period to decide if you wanted to or not. 

The show is set for the next day at eight in the evening. A bit early, considering he gets off of work at six tomorrow. He won't have a whole lot of time to eat his dinner and clean up for it, but he will make it work.  

That, he does. Rushing home the next day and immediately throwing himself into the shower to get the smell of spilled drinks off of him. He makes a quick snack just to get him through too, and within a perfect time frame, he’s at him set up, waiting for the clock to pass the last five minutes before he will need to be emailing you that private link to join. 

He feels a little silly acting like this though. Normally, he would decline a show that makes him rush through his day. Normally, he’s not reaching out to see who the person he’s been fucking himself for is. Normally, his heart is racing at the idea that he’s either going to be real fucking disappointed tonight, or real fucking turned on. 

Send link.

And now, he waits, and waits. Honestly, the span of seconds between 8:00pm and 8:01pm was a bit too long for his liking, but you join, and once again, you do not type before he speaks. 

“I didn’t think you’d come back this time,” He smiles as he says your name to you, feeling his insides shake a little bit. “And it’s officially our tenth show, so we should celebrate!” 

You’re quite literally panicked upon seeing him again. His hair is a different color this time, but still just as pretty. His lips are especially plump today, and his eyes are shining much like they always do. You, on the other hand, are sitting here in your brand new fucking pair of lingerie, with your hair and face all made up just in case he asks again to see you. 

Because maybe that means he will moan your name even louder. Or maybe, you know, he’ll like your name a little more. 

You: celebrate how? 

“I dunno,” He shrugs looking around the room before getting up and closer to the camera. “I’d still like to see who matches the name I continuously fuck myself to.”

A wave of arousal flows through you. His confidence never failing to minimize your own. Even if this is your tenth show, you think you’ll always feel seen by him despite never seeing you. 

“Would you be okay with that?” He backs away from the camera now, presenting himself to you much like he always did. Lying back, propped up on pillows, hand gripping his length from under thin fabric. “I just want to see who makes me this hard simply by requesting me.” 

Another wave runs through you. 

“If you’re too shy though, babe, it’s okay.” He smiles reassuringly. “I’d be happy to show you how much I like you anyway.” His grip against his length grows tighter. 

You: i’ll show you.

Honestly, you thought it would take much more effort on your part to admit that you’re interested in his reaction to you. Plus, you’ve spend so much money on him, and you didn’t spend even more to have this set of lingerie go unnoticed by him. 

“Yeah?” He smiles wider than you’ve ever seen. A crooked look on his face, blinking bashfully at the camera. “I’ll send a request to see you then, is that okay?” 

You freeze a bit at the thought that, as much as you want to show him, you’re still fucking shy.

“Would you rather let me hear you first?” He offers now, leaning forward to his set up and darting his eyes across the screen. 

You: i would feel better if it’s just my voice first. 

He nods and immediately you get the notification that he’s requesting to hear you. 

“Hi baby,” He says after you accept, listening hard and preparing for what you’re going to sound like. Upon you saying nothing though, he continues. “So shy still?” 

You work up the courage. 

“Hi,” You start, suddenly needing to cough, or choke, or die, really. “I’m sorry, this is another thing i’ve never really done before.”

Good lord the softness that comes with that voice could only belong to a person he would absolutely fuck himself to on or off camera.

“Such a sweet voice.” He says, trailing off a bit as he leans himself back in position and this time, immediately trails his fingers down his pants. “After all this time, this is what she sounds like?”

The heat pooling at the apples of your cheeks is almost painful. It feels sore almost with the way he compliments you without issue. 

“You must sound so, so good, moaning.”

God, you forgot how to talk. You forgot how to breathe. 

“It’s okay, just watch me.” He reassures your lack of speaking, clinging to that single sentence you gave to him before letting his thoughts run wild at what your tone would sound like hiccupping moans through deep thrusts. 

You must feel so embarrassed, and that’s hot. You’re not as embarrassing as he is, already with a pathetic and leaking cock twitching against his fingers for more of the touch, and more of your voice. He holds his fingers back a bit, nearly whimpering at the situation before his hips chase up and into his hand. 

You’re a little bit shocked watching him, appearing far more desperate than he normally is. 

“You look–” You start, taking a small breath to encourage yourself to continue. “So good right now.”

“Mm,” He hums, one arm reaching somewhere off camera to grab his presumed favorite pocket pussy. The one you always seem to respond well to because of the way he fucks it. “Gonna show you something.”

God, he always has something to show you and you never get fucking tired of it. 

You watch him, for the first time not having to lube up his toy. He removes his shirt, and tugs his briefs down to his ankles before sitting himself up and instantly sliding the toy down on him. You watch his lips quiver, biting slightly and reddening his lips further than normal. You watch the way his legs writhe at the sudden pleasure, and the way his eyebrows furrow in relief as he buries him into the toy and holds it in place. As is it needs to adjust, or maybe, as if he needs to take it slow. 

“This is what you do to me,” he whispers more to himself than to you, but definitely loud enough for you to hear. “Without seeing you, even before hearing you, I want to do this for you so bad.”

Good fucking god. 

“Do you get yourself off watching me?” He asks, more for reassurance because he knows damn fucking well that you do. 

“Every time.” You say shortly, already feeling entirely too sensitive as you watch him and try not to completely drench the panties you’re wearing. “Without fail.”

He hums again with a smile, holding the toy in place as his hips very slowly fuck in and out of the pussy that he wishes belong to you. 

“I want to see you,” He groans out, feeling the slide of his cock hitting every single bump the toy offers. “Want to see you come, want to hear you when it happens.”

The way you’re so turned on by now that you honestly, do not fucking care about the embarrassment. You’re desperate, watching him hold his hips back but still try and chase a feeling of pleasure as he listens to the small amount you offer him. 

“Please, y/n?” He very nearly whines out, licking his bottom lip and fucking up a bit faster, deeper, into the toy. “You can let me see you slide those pretty fingers in and out of you, please, I’ll guide you the whole time. I’ll make you feel good.”

The pleading, the image, the fact that he can hear the gasp you take in at his assault of words. 

“Request it,” You say softly, trying to pretend that you’re absolutely not fucking insane right now. 

It would be funny if you weren’t so turned on, with the way he holds the toy with his cock buried into it and nearly leaps for his set up. The request comes faster than you thought possible and you have to fucking force yourself not to think about it before accepting it.

And there he is. 

And there you are. 

For a moment, you almost lose momentum with the way he freezes, the toy sliding off of his length as he runs booths hands through his hair at the image that pops up on the screen. 

You almost want to end the session. You almost want to bury yourself a whole and lay in it.

“Fuck, y/n.” He groans, staring straight at you and the way you have yourself sitting awkwardly, all made up, with a dainty bra, and even daintier panties. “Can you lean back and spread your legs for me?” 

The way he says it so shamelessly has you doing it for him, just as shamelessly. 

“God, look how wet you are for me baby,” he groans, reaching down to grab his toy and slide it directly back onto his length, all while staring at you. “I knew you’d be pretty, but this…”

That hole you were going to dig for yourself? Scratch that. 

“Is this okay?” You say as you lean back and keep your legs spread for him, trying to keep your voice from shaking as you intentionally avoid his compliments out of fear that you’d orgasm on the spot. 

He seethes out a moan through his teeth, his eyes staring straight at your entire being before landing right back between your legs. Then, he resumes his position, unintentionally burying himself into the toy as he stares at you with a nod. 

“More than okay,” He says in a moan, unbelievably surprised at how much he finds you attractive. “Can you use your fingers? Can you show me how you’d want me to fuck you?”

Reluctantly, you give him a nod, already well aware that he’s fucking that toy of his as if it’s you. 

“I’ll do whatever you want, just tell me.” You respond.

God, he thinks this might be dangerous. 

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Not beating the allegations.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[conkniving]

self efficacy, resilience, love

SELF-EFFICACY — does the end justify the means? how to they approach their goals? do they blame others for their own faults or admit them?

fallon believes the end does justify the means. there will be instances in one's life that the only viable outcome may call for unsavoury measures. when approaching her own goals, she can be quite zealous — as is a defining trait of hers. it's also a flaw, and can blind her to consequences. as for blaming others, she can be quite toxic at times when she is unable to comprehend more complicated matters. there have been recollections where she has choked on her pride in order to apologize or to be accountable. then there is the trauma that has taught her its the correlation of others that is to blame.

RESILIENCE — how do they handle loss or failure? what helps them stay resilient and bounce back from loss or failure?

not well. there is a difference, however. when asked about "loss," fallon equates that to forms of separation, whether they're deaths or extended periods of absence. she doesn't know how to handle loss because she had never been taught a healthy directive as parents should have. it's through her own means that she's handled them, and they are not healthy, though have gotten better with maturity. whereas the invincibility of teenage-dom resulted in copious drug abuse, fallon has been able to learn how to ask for help with a few confidantes, or will journal. when it comes to failure, such as not living up to her role in the bastards or the attempts at romance, she can become quite defensive in response to the shame she feels. through all this, fallon just keeps going. whether by choice or by luck, that's up for debate.

LOVE — what attachment styles do they experience? how involved are they in their friends, family, and loved one’s worries, hopes, or goals? do they turn to their loved ones for support? do they let people who love them help them?

fallon has a strong 'dismissive avoidant' attachment style, which is a big surprise to exactly no one. it does come in part to her romantic identification being greyromantic, and the way she had been raised. that being said, she can be very involved in the many avenues of relationships when it comes to others' lives. it is also surprisingly frequent that fallon can turn to trusted individuals for support, as long as the support is about something that is rather minimalistic in comparison to other instances some would argue deserves more attention, but that is when she tends to close up. in regards to letting trusted individuals help her, it is often through independent means such as "forcing" help or helping while she is unawares. she does not like to feel like a burden or incapable of handling things herself. when she does realize there are people around to help and support her, fallon often tries to "get even" with a task or gift of her own.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

they tried to rebrand as The Criminals but riz is literally the city council's treasurer and also turns out people in their late 20s don't really name their friend groups. so now they're The Intrepid Heroes

[popppyfur]

EDIT: someone wrote a fic based off of this and im holding you all at gun point to read it rn

i did noooottt mean for this to be as long as it is lmao!! I LOVE THESE PINK BITCHES !!!!!

and their. questionable father

[wishfulsketching]

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