#why did I forget that message

[akdenide]

I woke up too late and claw is already sleeping and I have to wait until this afternoon to see if he'll forgive me oh gods I'm worried

[thorninyourpaw]

my existence makes me feel awful for my family

[tethrras]

anyway sue zhao i would have loved you better but i could not have loved you more

[phlyaros]

the amount of work transmeds n sysmeds n terfs will put in to ensure theyre miserable and alone forever is crazy. i guess when the agony is optional perhaps it has more appeal i've definitely contemplated breaking bones just so the pain was different like I understand misery incredibly well just like. man. you could like change and you would probably feel a whole lot better and have more friends and feel more stable????

[spacedlexi]

Would love to hear u talk more about Clem and Minnie mirroring one another if u haven’t already 🦅

i have Not >:) cracks knuckles

talking about minnie can be hard since she Really only exists in eps 3 and 4. eps 1 and 2 keep the twins pretty mysterious we only learn a few things about them. i think the most important thing we know about them tho is that they (or at least minnie) provided a sense of relief for the ericson kids. tenn saying how minnie would sing them "dont be afraid" when they were feeling scared. i think its safe to assume she wrote the song Specifically to have a way to make the other kids feel better when things were rough

when the twins die the kids lose this emotional support and we can tell its been hard on all of them (some more than others). but then in comes clementine. our girl whos been carrying the "light in the darkness" motif since season 1. and although she got that shit a little dirty in seasons 2 and 3 (ava going off in s3 about how clem and aj are light and hope and shit so we're still supposed to see it (and recognize that clem has become so Dark in s3 without aj)), she got her light back when she got aj back and she'll die protecting him

clem (and aj) fall very quickly into the hole the twins left. now its clem who makes them feel safe. first with finding them food then protecting them against the raiders ("youre our savior clem" "we were more scared than we let on when you met us. you made that go away"). its not an accident theyre put up in the twins room. and with the way violet grabs the frame and looks at it sadly we can even assume clem sleeps in minnies old bed (also the old torn down paintings seem to only be on ajs side of the room and hes got his whole "i wanna be an artist too" thing going on). clem has unintentionally taken on minnies old role of making the kids feel safe and reassured

then we finally meet minnie. and based on how the others described her there is definitely a piece of herself that shes lost (that shes killed). her light is gone now. and although her motivations have been warped, they remain the same. i do genuinely believe she is still trying to protect the ericson kids and do whats best for them, but just in the only way she thinks she can to stop more people from dying. she might even think the pros of living with the delta are worth the cons. clementine is the one teaching them to fight back but minnie knows from experience that fighting back just gets you killed, so she feels like if she can just stop clementine then everything will be fine ("youre the FUCKING problem here" "i wont let you get them all killed" and she does seem genuinely concerned if clem and vi are fighting in the cell. and obviously we know she doesnt want anything to happen to tenn). both minnie and clem want to protect the ericson kids they just have conflicting opinions about which is the right way to do it. but minnie Does show her ass when she ends her "if you just do what they say you can live" speech with "you can be rewarded just like i am" 👀 oh girl... she didnt just give up she gave in. killing sophie was her breaking point and i really wish we knew more about how that scene went down outside of lillys dramatic retelling i would like to see it objectively please. but based on the way lilly tells it, minnie (im sure begrudgingly) accepted her place at the delta before it even came to that, and was probably just pulled along by sophie when she tried to escape. which is probably why (im assuming) lilly gave her the choice to kill sophie to stay with the delta (her New family), and she did... she kills a piece of herself when she does this (only compounded by the twin imagery), and i think her seeing clem fight back reminds her of sophie and brings all those feelings to the surface. and if she can just kill clem everything will be ok, cuz it worked last time....

minnie singing "dont be afraid" when attacking them on the bridge. a song that once brought them peace now being used to herald death. but since she approaches already singing it she was probably singing it to soothe herself as she succumbs to her bite, walking away from the wreckage she blames on clem, her delta family dead (she Did care about them in a fucked up way), using a herd of walkers against them the same way clem used a herd of walkers to attack the boat. all minnie cares about at this point is finding tenn, and she does, and shes gonna take him with her. just like clem looking for aj, finding him, and taking him. but where clem would die to protect aj, minnie wants to kill tenn to take him "home" with her. add to this ajs feelings about ending up alone without clem and wanting to be walkers together if it came to it. this is why tenn dying on the bridge feels narratively fulfilling to me even tho i hate it 😭 tenn wants to be with minnie (and sophie and their parents) and death doesnt scare him. it kinda comforts him. him and minnie dying together here is like the dark fate clem and aj barely avoid

and then vi fitting into this as she became tenns caretaker after the twins left. she also wants whats best for him so her and minerva fighting at the end for tenn is interesting. especially since violet (and louis but he wasnt tenns caretaker the way vi was) can die throwing him over the gap. i like the layers violet adds to being in the bridge scene, and it makes it even more sad when she cant protect him because thats all shes been trying to do since before clem and aj even showed up. plus aj shooting tenn puts violet in a similar position to louis in regards to marlons death

i really love the ways violets route adds to all the minnie and tenn stuff. and the way we can see clems influence change her. how a saved violet is ready to fight with clem but a kidnapped violet believes in minnies goals and thinks giving up is the safest plan for everyone. because regardless if you save her or not violet ALSO wants to keep the ericson kids safe and just doesnt know the best way to do it. clem encourages violet to step up and minnie encourages violet to give up (warping her character growth which is why i cant Not save her 😭 and the betrayal of it all). using violet as a common denominator is another way to differentiate between clem and minnie. then throw the romance on top of that.... you can see why i get a little...Sillay.. this is ALSO why i dont like vinerva in any romantic capacity post the events of ep3 and why i love seeing vi with clem. its what they each encourage in her. minnies weakness, clems strength.... why seeing vi and minnie fight clem makes me want to cry but seeing clem and vi fight minnie makes me jump off the walls LETS GOOO

and i havent even talked about lilly yet.... how if lee took lilly up on her offer in S1 about stealing the RV together clem couldve ended up in her custody.... i definitely believe clem looks at minnie and sees some broken scared part of herself in there. she is Fiercely Loyal and would do anything for her family so if she was raised (or broken) in that environment (and it seems very "ends justify the means" with the delta as it sounds like its actually pretty good over there if you can look past the intimidation and torture and kidnapping) i could definitely see her being the one standing behind lilly in some other universe. its what lilly still tries to do with her but its too late (and so lilly tries it with aj instead which is still a way to get to clem). but clems grown now and shes been making her own choices for a long time. shes already been through this with the new frontier (and hell even with carver at howes). she'd die before she gave in. and minnie made the choice to kill her sister to save herself

even with the little info we actually have on minnie she still works pretty well as a foil to clem. this is why i find it easier to talk about minnie when comparing her to clem like i feel like its her main purpose. i feel like theres still more i could say its just eluding me. its not a coincidence that minnie almost takes clem down with her in the end. why shes the reason clems able to get bit. minnie blames clem for her own demise and she's gonna get in one last fuck you. and minnies fate is one clem is desperately trying to avoid. kinda 👀 to be taken down by your narrative foil

[sereniv]

going to take an internet break just for a few days, ive been wanting to anyway because i get too distracted from my phone especially tumblr and instagram.

i got so many messages on that post, and im learning quite a bit which im thankful for, and im going through answering people but it is overwhelming, theres so many split threats and messages its hard to keep track

i definitely recognize how my post came off, regardless of my intent, and thank you for everyone being patient but i also am not mad at people who arent.

I think after a few days ill be able to read more. bc rn anything longer than a paragraph turns to soup

[buck-yyyy]

by far my weirdest era was that one summer where i spent hours and hours messaging conservative christians on pinterest to gain an understand of why they believed what they did, how religion tied into that, etc etc

i’ll never forget, one girl messaged me back a few months later and asked me to fill out a google form on abortion for her school project because she wanted a diverse data set 😭

[variousqueerthings]

tbh im sticking my head in the sands this oscar season because i just know oppenheimer is going to sweep and i dont wanna see it happen

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

Hope you’re doing alright, feel better soon

who the fuck are you and how do you know whats been going on

[trans-leek-cookie]

had a little episode of Maybe Brainfog? that made it really hard to think of words and also was happening when I was trying to remember something I wanted to ask because forgetting it would be really fucking annoying but trying to figure out how the hell to Use Words was both comparable to the punishments of Sisyphus and Tantalus because I kept circling back because I could never actually say my point and also I knew there were words I wanted to say but they were like. In driving distance but I don't have a car so it's like yeah I could get them but I need some external help so it's like it's not the distance as much as it's the thing that would make the distance doable. I am losing track of what I'm talking about but anyway while that definitely wasnt a fun experience (it felt like in PE when you had to run a mile and you can't constantly run so you can walk and it's like, not painful but it's not neutral either it's just not As Draining All The Time but its all sorta draining no matter what)

CUTTING THIS OFF BEFORE I INTRODUCE MORE FUCKING METAPHORS that episode 1. Gave me a better feel for my symptoms bc I straight up have the thing i was forcing myself to write and it's not like incomprehensible but you can tell I couldn't stay focused and I can actually remember (this is a big thing I always forget my symptoms) how much of a struggle it was not only to write the message but also to make sure I was using the right words to ask the question I had. I literally wrote "so the main question is" on like the second and fourth paragraphs of that ask I was fighting for my life in that ask box and I came out. Okay. 2. I feel like it's a good experience to draw from when writing characters because it's very very a lot. It's good for when you need weird out-of-it dis. Um. What's the word hard to describe? No DIFFICULT when the character needs to be having difficulty thinking it's good experience for writing that

[c-o-z-m-o]

Okay real talk I never actually liked Clara Oswin Oswald. Sorry

[strawberryicedcookies]

LOCK IN FOR 3 DAYS AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.

yallll run a challenge with mee! in this challenge we are going to lock in for 3 days. That means affirming TWENTY FOUR/ SEVEN, listening to affirmation tapes, doing guided meditations, listening to subliminals, listening to manifestation music, being as delusional as humanly possible, SATURATE YOUR MIND COMPLETELY AND REPROGRAM YOUR MIND. You are in a constant state of manifestation, use that to your advantage, aways be saturating your mind.

By day 3, you’re going to feel so magnetic bro. Trust me, lock in for 3 days, forget about any struggles, for all you know, YOUR DESIRE IS YOURS. dont think about the when, how, why, IT IS YOURS. Be as delusional as you can, because when it comes down to it, are you really being delusional, or are you just woke?? 😛

yuppp guysss thats my 3 day challenge, i basically did this by myself and WHEN I TELL YOUUU this man spammed my phone on tiktok,snapchat,messages, and instagram!!! i was BEWILDEREDDDDD, but not surprised 😛😛. manifesting hanging out with him next!!

comment all your results!!

(this is how i manifest, im not saying is the only way to manifest. Its just a simple challenge ❤️.

[ode2rin]

new boyfriend rin would never ever, under any circumstance, admit that he likes the pet names you call him. well… unless you would stop doing it. (also me pushing the bffs to lovers pipeline)

You must be upset with him, Rin is convinced so. It’s the only logical and sensible explanation behind this unusual behavior. 

And he's going mad about it. Itoshi Rin is going mad any second now if he can't get to the bottom of this, he’s certainly convinced.

Every instinct screamed that your recent behavior was a reaction to something he'd done, but what? Was it the late replies to your text messages? No, you knew he was at practice and you told him you didn’t mind. Was it about the souvenir he brought back home to you from Paris? Sure, you teased him about its impracticality, but nothing that warranted this icy distance.

Or maybe it was something he said now? It must be, right? Everything boils down to his reckless poor choice of words, he supposes.

Slowly, Rin approached you by the couch you’re seated in. With your attention preoccupied by the selection of shows you’re browsing, you settled on looking at him briefly through your peripheral vision. Amused by how he’s slightly tiptoeing around, you let out a half-suppressed laugh to yourself. 

He looks like a cat sometimes, you thought from the sight. And acts like one too. Like a big black cat who would hiss at you if you looked at him funny, or one that would bite your hand if you stopped petting him to sleep. Funny how Rin could be like that too.

The moment Rin settles into the plush comfort of the couch, he gazes at you through lowered lashes, trying to read the play of emotions on your face, if there’s any. 

There’s nothing worth noting, and he doesn’t know if that should assure or bother him.

“Are we… alright?” he drawled.

What the fuck. He did not just sound like that. 

He did not just ask that and sounded like an anxious pathetic wet cat who just had a new home waiting for its owner’s permission over anything (highly specific because he’s a bit dramatic). Just what kind of loser have you reduced him into, really.

Oblivious of the internal turmoil in Rin’s mind, you turn to him, “Hmm? Yeah? Why’d you ask?”

“Nothing,” he grumbled. It’s enough that he already humiliated himself for the way he asked if the two of you were cool— doing it again by exposing himself that he thinks you’re mad plainly because he hadn’t heard you call him a pet name (like you always do) would be mortification in its final form.

“Okay, Rin.”

That’s it. This needs to end. Forget humiliation. He would rather choose to feel pathetic over any day than continue with this charade.

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Why would you think that?” you asked back instantly, shocked and extremely confused because of your boyfriend’s question. You’re literally just looking for a movie the two of you can watch— how is that any indication of being mad at him?

“Just answer the question,” he fumed, impatience settling on the furrow of his brows.

You said in the beginning of your relationship that you didn’t appreciate the silent treatment and guessing games, so don’t you think it’s hypocritical of you to do the same to him? (You’re not, but he just doesn’t know that.)

“I’m not mad at you, Rin.”

“You so are!” 

“I am not! But you, yelling and instigating it are making me right now!” you countered, voice hinted with irritation, “What is your problem, Rin?”

There it is again. Rin rose from the couch to face your sitting form, as if standing would better prove his point. “See? You’re calling me Rin!” he blurted.

“Well, maybe because it’s your name?!”

“Not to you, it’s not!”

A beat of surprised silence. Until your lips grew to such a wide smile that made Rin physically feel his heart melting. 

Yet, in Rin’s true fashion, he’ll never let you know how much air you knock out of him because of your beaming smile. Instead, he’ll say something along the snarky lines of, “Stop smiling like that.”

“Did my big bad grumpy Rinnie here thought we’re on a fight because I hadn’t call him baby?” you ask, purposely stressing out the words to disarm him more.

With a feigned exasperation, he comments, “I forgot how annoying you are.” 

“And I forgot how childish you can get sometimes,” you countered.

“I’m not childish.”

“You don’t mind me calling you Rin then?”

Rin rolled his eyes at you, but you know better than to put meaning to it. He lowered himself onto the couch beside you. With a swift tug, Rin pulled you closer, closing the distance between you effortlessly. His arm found its way around your waist, drawing you snugly against his chest.

“But I don’t see why you need to…” Maybe he could be a bit childish.

“I thought you didn’t like it,” you shyly muttered, drawing shapes in his arm. “The pet names, I mean,” you clarified, sensing the confused look he’s probably giving you behind.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He is baby. He is Rinnie. Fucking hell, that’s so loser of him to even voice it out in his own mind. 

“What? You call me by my name!” you defensively pointed out.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like your nicknames of me,” he mumbled, the words barely audible.

The pet names— they were more than what they served. It was important to him more than what he would admit. 

They were a secret language, a way you marked him as yours. A reminder that he wasn't just Rin anymore— just your friend.

He was now something more, something special.

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Besides… I love your name,” he whispered, his voice velvet against your hair.

It’s tender— no, it makes him tender. Saying your name has been the softest, kindest, and most tender way he’s used his words for. 

Maybe it’s a little pathetic, feeling this undone by a name. But then it’s you. 

It was your name— a name he could whisper with adoration, a name that belonged only to him to claim. 

You melt to his words, leaning deeper into his chest. A contented sigh escaped your lips, the sound swallowed by the warmth of his embrace.

Looking up at him, your eyes held a softness he often found himself getting lost in, “I love your name too, but I also like calling you pet names. Is it okay?”

“Whatever you decide.” He’s yours, either way.

note. this is basically rin being "my nameeee is whatever you decideeeee and i'm just gonna call you mineeee i'm insane but i'm your baby!!!!" yeah that song basically.

[whorelaud]

bf!Rafe making it up to his stubborn girlfriend <3 a/n a lil smthin based on this post eheh!!

A weary sigh escaped your throat, as you boredly scrolled through tiktok, with your boyfriend mere inches away, too busy conversing with Topper on the phone to direct his attention to you. 

You knew how important business was for Rafe, but sometimes it got out of hand, with him forgetting himself on the phone, taking one call after another, completely abandoning you on his bed (like you’re one of his night stands; in your words). 

Your lips tugged into a smile when you stumbled upon a funny video, chuckling as you sent it to Rafe, though you could’ve easily moved across the bed and shoved it in his face. That wasn’t a choice right now, as you were mad at him, too upset to humor him with silly cats whom you referred to as ‘us’ when you sent it to him. 

The ping ringed through Rafe’s ear, earning a puzzled look out of the latter when he checked the notification, and noticed it was a video from you. He turned in your direction, eyebrows quirking with confusion, almost as if he was seeking an explanation for his silent question. 

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you shuffled around in bed, until you were no longer facing your boyfriend, giving him your back instead. You got back to scrolling through tiktok, hoping Rafe would get the hint and finally call it off for the night. 

And he did, coming up with a random excuse to get rid of Topper, not giving him a chance to question Rafe before the boy already hung up, immediately checking the video you sent. You suppressed the smile forming on your lips as the sound of his giggles erupted through your ears, spiraling a fit of excitement through your chest. 

“What is this?!” He asked, leaning against the bed frame, lips pursing into a pout when he didn't receive a response in return. “Hello? Baby?” Rafe paused for a moment, gaze fully fixed on you, in hopes of earning your attention. He scoffed, finally understanding what you were doing. “Are you ignoring me?” 

His attention shifted back to the screen when his phone pinged with another notification from you, your said message causing him to grin from ear to ear. 

‘shut up.’ and another, ‘dont speak 2 me.’ 

“Are you mad at me?” He cooed, tossing his phone to the side, before he eventually joined your side, nuzzling around to get comfortable now that your back pressed firmly over his chest. “C’mon, speak to me, why are you giving me the silent treatment?” 

You remained silent, choking back a giggle when his face found the crook of your neck, planting soft kisses to your skin as his breath fanned over the flesh, the sensation like feather to your skin. 

“Is this about Topper?” He questioned between kisses, voice slightly muffled. Rafe then wrapped an arm around your waist, pressing you closer to his chest, even more close than earlier, if that was even possible. “I’m sorry, you know I get busy sometimes, I don't mean to purposely ignore you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Rafe perked up when you spoke, smiling as he took in the side of your face, your frown instantly replaced with a sheepish smile. “Might as well jus’ break up with me, since you’re so busy n’ all that stuff.” 

“All that stuff?” He repeated, fully straightening in his position. He poked your cheek with his finger, giggling when you smacked his hand, feigning oblivion to your amused expression despite how annoyed you seemed. “Didn’t you just compare us to cats? You do that with everyone you break up with?” 

“Hmm,” you hummed, giving in when Rafe tugged your chin, forcing your face in his direction. You pretended to think, grabbing his hand and kissing it, the gesture slightly catching Rafe off guard, well aware of how stubborn you are when you're upset. “Only with the handsome ones.” 

“You think I’m handsome?” He muttered, voice dropping barely above a whisper. He leaned down, brushing his thumb over your lip. He pecked your forehead, the press of his plush lips tickling your flesh. “I’m sorry, I love you.” 

“It’s okay,” you reassured, levelling yourself with Rafe as you straightened up, now face to face with him. “I jus’ missed you s’all, you know I require a lot of attention.” 

“And I’m willing to give it to you,” he mumbled, “Missed,” a kiss, “my pretty,” and another, “girl.” You giggled, throwing your head back in an attempt to playfully dodge his kisses, merely for Rafe to chase after your lips, now fully pinning you to the bed. “Let’s watch more cat videos,” he said, grabbing your phone from the night stand. “Stop sulking with me, yeah?” 

You rolled your eyes, maintaining a blank expression as Rafe set your phone in front of your face, waiting for face ID to work. “You’re so annoying.” 

“And you love me,” he replied, face twisting into a frown as his fingers hovered over the screen. “Where the fuck is tiktok?” 

[chillllii]

i dont think i have room to still be upset at old friend

sometimes i don't really care either?

like i've acknowledged that i was an asshole and could've been better but also i never allowed myself to get mad or upset back at them