#why did I draw him so concerned boi what is giving u anxiety

[bigbrainbiology]

Attempted to draw someone vaguely more masculine and ended with a wet cat

h e l p

[jinnyu]

regarding romance!

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Used artwork credits

Hop

Bede

Leon

Raihan

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———☆️

Hop🍀

It started as the cliché love story about falling in love with your very own bestfriend

Which, actually turned out great??

His Zacian/Zamazenta loves you as much as it's trainer does, and is willing to protect you from anything

Probably because it observed Hop being protective over you, and proceeding to do the same

Sure it might took a toll on him when you defeated him on the championship semi-finals, but he wanted you to be happy more than anything

He's such a sweetheart even if he doesn't show it much

The type to appreciate small little things, especially when it comes from you

"Let's camp together!!"

You camped together

He got chased by a wild steelix whilst trying to gather data for his research later

His Zamazenta/Zacian was busy playing with your own legendary

*from the distance* "GAH! HELP!"

You ran after him and calmed down the wild steelix

Then you walked to him and checked if he got any wounds or scratches, which leads you to cupping his face gently with a worried look on your face

Hop's blushing

He's freaking out inside

You didn't notice the tint of blush dusting his cheeks,which gradually reddens with each second that passes

"im okay, dont worry" he tried his best reassuring you

Even though he's blushing, he proceeded to press his forehead gently against yours, closing his eyes and smiling

oh no he's cute

You're blushing

haha blushy reader

You let him do his thing, its somewhat calming

He's warmm

His hands are calloused, different from yours; you just remembered this when he placed his hand on top of yours while you were checking for his wounds from before

This just shows how much he's been working off to reach the champion title

And yet he's completely alright with you taking the spotlight

After all, you're his shining star

And he wouldn't have it in any other way

You let him borrow your champion cape

And he lets you borrow his labcoat

It fits just right with you! And it got his scent, which calms you down whenever you're feeling anxious

When you wear his labcoat, you're 1000000000% irresistible to his eyes

"Don't be so adorableee" he said as he pulled you into a hug and burying his face in your neck

You only laughed softly at his reaction. He was blushing too,,,

You often waited for him to finish his lab work, even if it's until late hours

He's a really hard worker, no wonder he stayed until late

"Im sorry for making you wait"

He looks exhausted, but tried his best to pull a bright smile, not wanting to worry you

You only gave him a warm hug, which surprised him at first before he hugs you back and proceed to walk you to your house

💓💓💓 < your heart

Comfort time

There's usually some jerks who'd tease you for being the champion, or flirt with you in an impolite way

If Hop caught on to this, he would politely ask them to leave

If they still dont understand, his legendary comes out of his pokeball and growl at them

He'd ask them one more time to stop bothering you, but this time, with a menacing smile that says "stay here any longer and you wont get to see another daylight"

Then he'd check up on you, asking if you're alright, if they did anything to you or whatnot

Hed wrap his arms around your waist and drape his labcoat over you, because he knows his labcoat always manages to calm you down

"It's okay, you're okay, everything is alright now, c'mere"

You let him hug you as you feel safe around him, and you two stayed in that position until you feel alright again

💕💕

———☆️

Bede🍰

He's not the best at showing affection but at least he tries

You help him come out with quizzes for his gym challenge

And sometimes joke about the poses he makes when practicing

Sometimes, he gets reminded that you're the champion of Galar and he's way out of your trainer level

Which actually motivates him to become the strongest gym leader there is by pushing past his limits

"I'll show you how strong fairy types can be"

He said to himself as he was thinking about you

People kept misunderstanding fairy types after all, and thats a big mistake

You appreciate his efforts in maxing out his strength, and you show it by coming to his fairy stadium whenever he battles a challenger

You texted him "good luck, I'll be cheering 4 u!❤️❤️👍" before his matches start

And you looked at his direction after sending the message

He has just gotten your message, and opened it

Which leads to him blushing furiously as he covers his face with one of his hands

He took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure, only to fail miserably when he saw you looking at his direction with pure ambition and determined eyes as you grinned happily

All that i could say is, he's red as a beet

He wont lose this match, not when you're watching him.

He puts extra effort when you're watching his match, and made sure not to slip up. It'd be embarrassing if he did.

Opal notices this and only smiled seeing her successor acting out of his place whenever you're around

Opal knows something that you dont, and that's Bede's feelings for you

After his match ended, his Hatterene walked towards your direction, pulling you into a tight hug

You were surprised, but apparently Hatterene has grown to like you ever since she first met you

And when you look at Bede's direction, he was looking away with his arms crossed infront of his chest, visibly drowning in embarassment

,,,you wondered, is Bede projecting on his Hatterene or what,

Yes, yes he is

So you asked him if he also wants a hug, which of course he answered with "Why would i want a hug from someone like you? That'd be an insult to me"

You let go of Hatterene and hugged him anyways

He flinched when you hugged him, not knowing where to put his hands and just let them stay still in a defensive pose

Hatterene watched with a smile from behind you, seeing her master in such a flustered state was truly something new for the Pokemon

Not long after, Bede finally let his arms wrap around your waist, giving in to his subconscious and just hug you

he wanted to hug you anyways so thats a win win situation

You were actually surprised when he hugged you back

He smells nice!! Like perfume?? Cologne?? Floral scent

His Hatterene decided to join in and wrapped her arm around you both, making you all hug even more tightly

Bede cant handle this well.

No, not at all.

His face was really red and its hot— in all honesty, its cute, but he was burning

"Why do you have to embarrass me like this?"

You buried your face in his neck, which startled him as he couldn't think at all

"Y-you!!"

He feels nice and soft, so you're not planning to let go any sooner, likewise with Hatterene.

Bede's mind: ASDFGHJKL????—GODDAMMI—

OKAY NOW COMFORT TIME

His true nature would come out when you're not feeling yourself or when people would makw you feel like shit

"Hey.."

His face shows concern, but it still his usual look of coldness— however, his actions are warm despite his cold features

He'd let you wear his coat as he battles anyone who dared to hurt you

"Are you alright now..?"

He cupped your face and made you look at his face, swiping off the tears that stained your face with his thumbs delicately

He hated seeing you cry, and he'll try better next time to make sure you didn't cry

———☆️

Leon🌟

He's kind at all but sometimes he's just... "???????"

Training!! Dates!!

More like battle tower dates because he really admires your strength as a champion

Occasionally, he'd visit your house and check up on you, wondering if you're free for the day for "quality time"

At first, he was surprised to see one of the legendaries answering the door for you

And he couldn't resist to ruffle it's hair

your legendary on the other hand was kind of irritated by it

So it let out a displeased howl

Which leads you to come down stairs and see who is it

"L—leon?"

He looked up and greet you with a goofy grin as your legendary returned to your side, walking with you

He treats you like a gentleman, and sometimes is very strict with your training regimen

In which you usually whine about because you're the current champion and you have no business listening to him

But he'd swoon you with lovely words

And you would easily fall for it

you hate this

You hate him

No you dont

You love him, you could never hate a goofball like him anyways

Hey did i ever mention Leon's sense of direction is shitty

You went on a date in Wyndon a couple of times and he still gets lost everytime

"Ah!! Hey—....."

"Im lost again aren't i?"

He tried to find his way back to you but got surrounded by paparazzis

Even if he's not the current champion

You saved his butt since he couldn't say no to the people and his fans

He said thank you and hugged you, lifting you up to the air before pulling you close to him

This only made you laugh softly as you hugged him back, letting your fingers comb his thick lavender like hair

His body is warm and comforting, you really like his cuddles and hugs

He came into your house one time when you didn't answer his calls or messages, only to find you drown in your anxiety and self loathing

He pulled you in his arms and let you cry on his shoulder until you're all done and alright again

He'd draw circles over your back and tell you reassuring words— tell you that you're more than enough and he's grateful to have you here, alive and well

Your Zacian/Zamazenta got out of it's pokeball and helped you in calming you down too by giving you small licks on your knee

It'd whine whenever you're sad and climb onto your bed, nudging your arm afterwards as if it's asking what's wrong

You're lucky to have them both whenever you need them the most, and they're lucky to have you

———☆️

Raihan 🐲

It's finally the Character y'all been waitin for, dragon boi coming through

Okay serious talk here— Raihan is TALL

His hoodies makes you look smaller than you already are

You tried copying his "Gaooo~" pose a couple of times while wearing his hoodie

Its cutest thing he has ever seen his entire life

It makes him melt everytime

Okay aside from that, he's gentle and laid back, even if his personality is quite the opposite when he's on battle

He's cLINGY ASF

Don't forget his fangs, never forget his fangs

You're actually curious about his fangs since the first day you saw him

And he lets you touch it whenever you like

Youre still curious, because what the hell, its so cool

The first day you saw him after defeating him in a match and gain your gym badge, he immediately took an interest in you and your strength

"Hey Challenger!"

He called you before you tried to take your leave, gaining your attention

He then asked you if you want to practice with him next time, and have a rematch when you've become the champion

You agreed and exchanged numbers

What can i say, he spams you like?????? A lot

And casually sends you pictures of him and his duraludon

You love his dragons, especially flygon

Flygon loves you too, and one time it wanted to come with you

Raihan lets you keep his Flygon and you send him pictures of you with it

He sends emotes of duraludon crying, wanting to join you and your fun trip with Flygon to grab the Champion title

After you took the Champion title, Raihan greeted you with a big hug

And you hug him back with no hesitation

"Congratulations, may i have a selfie with the new Champion?"

He asked in a teasing manner, letting you down on your feet as you nodded

You took a selfie selfwith him numerous times before he posted it to his social media

He captioned 'First person to get a selfie with the new Champion'

He took pride in that, and some of his fans were jealous that you managed to get a selfie with him

From that day onwards, he'd have casual selfies with you, sometimes hilarious one and sometimes its just for showing off

You didn't mind it really, he's a celebrity anyways, so you understand why he does that

"Hey.. do stars have feelings"

It was three am what the fuck Raihan

You squinted at your screen seeing his message

"Why in the Galar would you be awake, dear Dragon tamer?"

You answered him

And immediately he answered "oh? The Champion is awake?"

You guys didn't sleep afterwards and was sending streaks of blurry selfies

It was fun and helped you cheer up

You got some of his blurry pics that he captioned "party rock in the house" when clearly its just him and his pokemons

What a goofball pt.2

You love him anyways shut up

Haha smol reader pt.2

[pretendingboyfriends]

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A/N: heyyyyyy i know this took a long time to finish BUT shit happens and mental health comes before fanfiction. anyways, i hope u guys love this part and pls do not hesitate to send comments, suggestions, etc. when you’re finished and pls don’t forget to reblog!! also, thank u @sunflowers-styles​ and @fromyourstrulyh​ for beta-ing this part it would be a mess if u hadn’t <3

Warnings: angst, sadness, slightest bit of sexual tension, deidre being a bitch

Word count: 6.5k+

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Harry’s aching to talk to you. He still has no clue what he did wrong and he desperately wants to fix things, but you won’t even give him the chance–refusing to do so much as make eye contact with him when speaking. You’re humiliated. Not only because you wanted to kiss him, but also because you made it seem like he did something wrong. However, being your non confrontational self, you haven’t gained the courage to explain anything to him. Plus, you don’t want to make Deidre suspicious, so you force yourself to act just as casual as you had before and, of course, she hasn’t noticed a thing.

The day has been nothing out of the ordinary, you’re sprawled across the couch with your leg in the air, allowing your toe-nails to dry after their first coat of olive green nail polish. The weather is exceptionally nice and your hair is still wet from the dip in the pool you had taken earlier when the sun was significantly hotter than it is now. Harry left for groceries an hour or so ago and now you’re just waiting for Deidre to come out of the bedroom so that the two of you can go out and do something together.

“Okay, so-” She calls from the end of the hallway as she walks, “There’s this party tonight that the boys invited me to and I think you should come with me.”

You frown, swinging your legs back over the edge of the couch so that you can sit up straight and look at her. “What?”

She shuffles through the doorway in a crop top and skirt, her shoes clutched in her hand as she runs her fingers through her hair. “C’mon, It’ll be fun! We haven’t gone to a party together in ages.”

“I thought we were gonna go out together, just the two of us. Wasn’t that the whole purpose of this beach getaway? Just us spending time together?”

She shrugs, “I mean, we never really made a plan, it was just an idea.” 

“Well, that’s not fair,” You bite, standing from your spot on the couch and crossing your arms over your chest. “I feel like it was implied that we were going to hang out tonight and now you’re going to some party with people you barely know?”

She rolls her eyes, “We can still hang out at the party!”

“No, Deidre, because I don’t want to go to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know!”

“Oh, come on,” She groans, “Nobody knows anyone at these parties, we’re all just there to have fun!” 

“I still don’t want to go.” 

“Fine. I’ll just go by myself, then.” She huffs, hunching over to slide her shoes on.

You take a deep breath, “I don’t think you should go either.” 

“Oh my god,” She groans, “What are you, my mom?”

“No, I just think, as your best friend, that going to a party with a bunch of people you don’t know very well--a bunch of men you don’t know very well--isn’t a good idea.”

“It’s just a party, I don’t understand why you’re so worked up about it!” She yells, arms flailing around her in frustration as she walks across the living room to the door. 

You drag both your hands down your face, groaning in exasperation. “Deidre, you met these guys a few days ago and they’re asking you to get drunk with them. How do you not see how dangerous that is?”  

“They’re nice guys, they would never do anything to hurt me!” 

“You don’t know that!” You retort, “For all you know, they could be planning to drug you and drag you back to a room to do who knows what to you!”

You hear the honking of a car horn coming from the front of the house and she huffs, shaking her head at you as she leans forward and grabs her purse from the coffee table. “I’m leaving. I’ll send you my location when I get there.” And with that, she’s gone.

You’re left alone in the house, the only sound that can be heard is the choked sob that erupts from your chest as soon as the screen door slams shut behind her. Tears spill down your cheeks with each sob, your body collapsing into the couch before you drop your head into your hands. All you can feel is anger, frustration, and anxiety. You’re concerned for Deidre, however, you’re also infuriated with her. She’s selfish; so selfish, in fact, that she doesn’t even consider that you and her entire family might be affected if anything terrible happens to her. 

You sit there on the couch for what seems like decades, your body wracked with sobs as tears stream down your cheeks. Every emotion from the past few days has suddenly burst from within you and you’re unable to contain it.

Finally, after gathering your emotions as much as possible, you lift yourself from the couch and trudge to the kitchen for some comfort food. Swinging the fridge door open, your eyes almost immediately land on a large, unopened bottle of red wine.

“Fuck it.” You mutter, reaching forward and grasping the chilled, glass bottle by its neck. You place the bottle on the counter as you recklessly search for a corkscrew in one of the many drawers lining the countertop. Moments later, you’re mustering every bit of strength inside of you to open the bottle with the screw and after nearly 10 minutes of struggling, the cork pops out with a loud “THUNK”.

You sigh, reaching for the cabinet above you for a wine glass out of reflex, but you quickly decide against the use of a glass and gulp the liquid straight from the bottle. You know your behavior is reckless, but you can’t find a single part of you that cares. You need the pain and frustration to go away somehow and drowning them with an $11 bottle of wine would suffice for now. 

Dragging yourself out to the patio, you allow the thick, heady liquid to slide down your throat and settle into your empty stomach as you plop yourself into one of the chairs. A loud rumble of thunder in the distance draws your attention from the bottle, causing you to pull it away from your lips for a moment. You watch as a faint, almost unnoticeable, drizzle gradually turns into a steady shower and then into a heavy downpour. The scarce amount of people that had been on the beach when you first stepped out onto the patio are now shoveling all of their belongings into their arms as fast as they can to avoid being trapped in the downpour.

Soon, the beach is completely vacant. Not a soul is in sight and, oddly enough, you’re drawn to it. Nearly two-thirds of the bottle is resting warmly in your stomach at this point, so your decision making skills are not the most reliable, but something’s telling you to go out and sit in the rain. So, after chugging the rest of the bottle (and quickly rushing inside to use the bathroom because alcohol on an empty stomach is like a free pass to pissing yourself), you allow your intoxicated brain to wisp you down the patio stairs and into the thick, sopping wet sand.  

Your clothes have already begun to soak through from the rain as you stumble along the shore, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Your eyes are swollen and bloodshot from crying and your head is throbbing with every step you take. Then, you stop, allowing your body to drop down into the sand before looping your arms around your bent legs and tugging them to your chest.

It’s nearing dusk as you sit there, the sun slowly sinking further and further beneath the horizon behind thick clouds. Your clothes are completely soaked through by this point, but, in your drunken state, you can’t find a reason to care. Tears begin to spill down your cheeks again, mixing with the rain drops already pelting your face and you don’t even bother to wipe them away. Your chest feels numb from the sobs that incessantly wrack your body, but you can’t find the strength to stop. It feels like you’re trapped. Unable to escape the sinking loneliness that increases with every moment of every day and ignoring it only makes it worse. 

When you’d first agreed to the trip, you were given a sense of hope. You thought that maybe, if you were around people that made you happy, your loneliness would dissipate and you wouldn’t feel like this anymore; but it’s only become worse.

Unbeknownst to you, Harry is sprinting from his car with an armful of groceries to the front door of the beach house and swinging it open. He calls for Deidre, then calls for you finding silence within the house. He frowns, stumbling further into the living room towards the kitchen so that he can set the large, paper bags down on the table to relieve himself of their weight. He leaves the bags there and begins to search the rooms, finding each one of them empty and becoming even more confused. Lastly, he slides the patio door open to find each chair empty, the empty wine bottle sitting alone on the metal patio table. He steps out, shutting the door behind him before walking to the table and taking the bottle into his hands. The glass is still damp with perspiration, but there isn’t more than a few tablespoons of wine left sloshing at the bottom of the bottle. He places it back where it had been resting before as he lifts his head to look out at the beach. The downpour is so thick that it’s difficult to make out any sort of shapes, but when his eyes land on your figure in the sand, his heart nearly leaps from his chest. 

He calls your name as he bounds down the porch stairs and into the sand, jogging to where you sit with your knees pressed to your chest. You turn to him with a sorrowful expression, lip quivering uncontrollably with your weak sobs. 

“What happened? What’s wrong?” He stutters, dropping to his knees beside you with one hand on your back and the other on your knee. “Are you hurt? Should I call somebody?”

You shake your head. “M’alright.”

“It doesn’t look like you’re alright,” He frowns, reaching his right hand up to gently turn your face towards him. “Wh- why are you- what’s going on? Why are you out here in this weather all alone?” 

The rain is still incessant and it’s hard for either of you to see anything but you’re able to sense just how much Harry cares. You wipe your nose with the back of your hand and shake your head. 

“Dee went out,” You slur quietly. “Then, I had a bit of wine.”

“You’re crying.” He points out.

You shake your head again, avoiding his eye contact. “S’just the rain.”

He sighs in defeat, hand dropping from your face as he pushes his wet hair from his own. “C’mon, let’s get you inside.” He grasps your hands gently as he stands, pulling you up with him. You stumble slightly, falling into him and his arms reflexively wrap around your waist, mumbling: “Easy, darling.”

The unremitting mizzle of rain pelts against the both of you as he drags you back up to the house with one arm wrapped around your waist. Your head leans lazily against his shoulder and your body melts into his due to  the alcohol coursing through your veins. Keeping a tight grip on you, Harry quickly leads you up the porch stairs and back inside the house, careful to keep you from tripping over your own feet. 

The temperature of the house is slightly cooler than outside and you’re unable to keep your teeth from chattering as you step inside. Harry notices this.

“Stay right here, I’m gonna go get some towels.” He mutters, shuffling off down the hallway and leaving you standing soaked, shivering, and intoxicated in the entryway. He returns within a few moments holding a stack of fluffy pink towels (courtesy of the beach house owners), quickly unfolding one of them and wrapping it around your shoulders. You tug the fabric around yourself, teeth chattering as you take a deep breath and look up at him through bloodshot eyes.

“Thank you.” 

He nods, taking a towel for himself and leaning over to shake out his dripping hair. You step past him into the hallway, walking towards your bedroom with the towel still wrapped around your shivering frame. The house feels like it's spinning with every step you take, your hand pressed against the wall to support yourself as you guide yourself to the bedroom. You know Harry’s watching you, longing to ask you why you were out in the rain completely wasted, but you don’t feel sober enough to trust him or yourself. 

Stumbling into your bedroom, you shuffle through your drawer for some dry clothes, settling on an oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants. You don’t even bother with closing the door all the way as you peel the wet clothes from your skin, carelessly dropping them onto the carpet. After you successfully pull the sweatshirt on, you attempt putting on the sweatpants, discovering that in your drunken state, finding the correct leg hole is much harder than you anticipated. So, after struggling for all of one minute, you huff and throw them aside. 

“Need help?” 

You glance up from where you sit on the edge of the bed to find Harry leaning against the doorway, dressed in a dry t-shirt and sweatpants. You frown, “Were you watching me?”

“No,” He pauses. “I mean- just for a moment, but I swear I didn’t see anything.”

You nod slowly with a yawn, “It’s okay. I’m too drunk to care, anyway.”

He chuckles at that and watches as you stand, stumbling to the upper end of the bed and pulling the comforter down to make room for you to slide beneath it. You plop yourself onto the mattress with a yawn, patting the empty space beside you and looking up at him. 

He raises his eyebrows, “Y’want me to…?” You nod at his unfinished question, giving him a small, drunken grin. So, after a moment of hesitation, Harry walks over to the bed and climbs into the empty spot beside you with your eyes glued to him the whole time. He sighs, “What now?”

“Will you… hold me?” You request quietly, avoiding his soft, virescent stare. 

He pauses. There isn’t a single fiber of his being that doesn’t want to feel your warmth against him, arms looped around your waist, nose buried into the crevice of your neck; but he knows that you’re drunk and he can’t be sure that you won’t regret anything once the intoxication has passed. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” You shrug. “Unless, of course, you aren’t comfortable with it,”

“I am, but you aren’t fully… ‘here’ right now and I don’t want you to regret anything.”

You sigh, “I think I’m sober enough to ask you to harmlessly spoon me to sleep.”

“Alright,” He nods, moving to lay on his side, head against the pillow. “C’mere, then.”

You smile to yourself, leaning over to switch the small bedside lamp off before allowing your body to lie against the mattress fully before turning to face away from him, waiting for him to wrap his arms around you. The hem of your sweatshirt rides up with your movement and, although you’re completely oblivious to it, Harry notices. His eyes focus on the soft skin of your hip and the thin fabric of your panties resting against it. Fuck. Swallowing the heavy lump wedged in his throat, he moves forward and loops his arm around your waist, tugging your back into his chest with a quiet grunt. 

One may assume that two people in this situation, given the status of your relationship being strictly friends (in the lightest sense of the word), would feel uncomfortable or awkward, but both of you, somehow, feel a sense of relief. Two long, breathy sighs emit from both of you in unison as your bodies fit together like two pieces of thread, meant to intertwine perfectly to create a beautiful piece of clothing. 

The two of you lie there in the dark silence, taking slow, deep breaths to calm your fluttering heartbeats as the tension builds. If you were sober, you definitely wouldn’t have even considered being in this situation, but since there’s nearly 25 ounces of liquid courage coursing through your veins, you’re unable to keep yourself from being brutally honest about what you want. Silently, you move your hand from where it rests on the mattress, sliding it over his hand that rests just between your stomach and ribs and taking it into your own. He feels your hand, but doesn’t say anything.

Every sense of your caution has been thrown to the wind at this point, so you don’t even consider hesitating when asking: “Do you remember that song that came on the other day when we were in the car?”

He’s caught completely off guard by your question and frowns. “I-uh, yeah, I remember. ‘Dancing With Myself’?”

You nod in acknowledgement, silence settling over you again for a few lasting moments before you speak again. “The other day when you were talking about the meaning of that song, how it sounds upbeat and happy but the lyrics are actually him talking about how lonely he is, it reminded me of myself…” You pause, sighing quietly, trying to blink away the inevitable tears. You can sense that he’s listening, though, so you continue. “I just- sometimes it’s hard for me to feel at home with people even if they are my friends, and there are many times when I just see myself with them and I just don’t even feel like I’m there. Like, despite being in a room full of people, like the song says, I’m dancing with myself, trying in vain to make myself look like the exact opposite of how I feel. It’s like I just have to go through life alone, despite the people around me.”

He’s quiet for a while and it scares you. Maybe you said too much. Maybe he’s uncomfortable. You squeeze your eyes shut, preparing for the tears to spill and then he speaks.

“Is that- is that why you were crying?”

“Partially,” You whisper, staring straight ahead into the dark room. Harry’s arm moves a little and then you feel his fingers brushing against your hand before lacing his fingers between your own without a word. His body presses closer to yours and you ever so faintly feel his lips against your shoulder for just a moment. 

“I’m sorry.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, letting the tears fall and trickle down onto the pillow where your head lays. “It fucking hurts,” You take a long, shaky breath. “It hurts when I can’t even tell my best friend about how I feel because I feel like I’m being selfish for giving her the weight of my issues.”

“You’re not being selfish,” He whispers, squeezing your hand gently. “If you’re hurting, she should be there for you no matter what. Just like you are with her,” He pauses for a beat, taking a deep breath. “I think you’re one of the most caring people I have ever met. You have always been there for Deidre even though recently she’s been a bit of twat to you.” 

“Yeah,” You chuckle at that and he breathes a small laugh, tightening his arms around you. Silence settles around you once more, and you think that maybe he’s fallen asleep but then he stirs and moves his hand from yours to tilt your face and body in his direction, leaning over you. Your eyes meet as he gently swipes his thumb against your damp skin, collecting the tears that had just escaped from your eyes with a small smile. Just as he is about to drop his hand from your face, you grasp him by the wrist, pressing his large palm to the curve of your cheek. His gaze flickers between your lips and your eyes, even in the darkness of the bedroom you’re able to make out each other’s faces and you see the edges of his lips curl up into the faintest smile. 

“Also,” You breathe, thumb stroking the skin of his wrist gently, “I’m sorry about the other night.”

It takes a moment for him to process what you mean, but when he does he shakes his head. “No, no, it was my fault. You didn’t want me to kiss you and I shouldn’t have crossed your boundaries like that. I’m sorry.”

“No, Harry, that’s not-” You sigh, “I just- I was afraid it would mess things up with Deidre and I was putting her feelings before my own, which I now realize wasn’t fair to either of us.” You motion between the two of you.

“I get it,” He nods, watching as you take his hand from your cheek and interlock your fingers between his. You’re still mildly intoxicated, so your confidence levels are also quite a bit higher than normal. Harry watches you in silence, the two of you mindlessly fiddling with each other’s fingers like it was the most normal thing in the world for you to do. And then he clears his throat. “So, you- you did want to kiss me?”

You pause, bottom lip slipping between your teeth as you look up at his face. “Yeah.”

“Hm… good to know.” 

Silence falls over the two of you again as you focus back on your fingers dancing against his. You want to keep talking to him; You want to say ‘fuck it’ and throw every bit of caution to the wind regarding Deidre, falling into this “scandalous” affair with her brother; You want to tell him how you feel, express every bit of longing you’ve had for him since the first day his dimpled smile met your gaze, but you’re finding it harder and harder to keep your eyes open, the alcohol in your system taking over and pushing you to surrender. So you do.

You yawn, “I think I should probably go to sleep now.”

“I can leave if you want…” He responds, lifting himself up from the mattress slightly, but you stop him with a quick shake of your head, tugging his arm back around your waist. 

“Stay until I fall asleep?” 

He smiles to himself, arms tightening around you as he nuzzles his face into your hair. “Okay.”

Harry hadn’t intended on falling asleep with you. He’d planned on waiting until you fell asleep and then would  sneak off to his own bed, but it’s morning now and the two of you are lying fast asleep in the exact position you were in the night before. His arms wound tightly around you, chest pressed to your back, and his nose pressed into the base of your neck. In a way, the warmth and peace his arms give you feel completely normal; like you’re long-term lovers, dozing in the soft morning sunlight, awaiting the new day.

The alarming screech of your ringtone rudely interrupts your slumber and causes you to lift yourself from the mattress and angrily slap your hand around in search of your phone. Finding it, you squint at the illuminated screen to see Deidre’s profile picture and name, you groan and push yourself to sit up on the mattress as you slide your finger across the screen to answer the call.

“Hello?” You croak, knuckling frustratedly at your puffy, sleep-filled eyes.

“Hi,” She sounds out of breath, almost frantic. “I know you’re probably still mad at me but everything is okay. I didn’t come home last night because I ended up passing out on Jeff’s couch after everyone left and he failed to wake me up, even though I told him to. But yeah, um, I’m sorry, I’m on my way home. Please don’t be mad at me.”

You should be mad at her, but it’s early and your hungover brain is making it harder for you to form any sort of emotion. “It’s fine. We-I fell asleep early anyways so I didn’t notice.”

She sighs in relief, “Okay. Well, I’ll be home in like 10 minutes,”

“See ya.” You mumble half-heartedly before the line cuts out and you’re dropping your phone into your lap with a yawn. Somehow, during that conversation, you’d completely forgotten the presence of Harry. That is, until he clears his throat and shuffles on the bed, causing you to turn and look at him. 

“G’morning,” He mutters, his deep, syrupy accent tainted with sleep. “Was that-?”

“Deidre, yeah,” You finish, rubbing your hands over your face. “She’s on her way.”

“Oh… then I should- I should probably get out of here,”

You nod and he pushes the comforter off of his body, sliding over the side of the bed and planting his feet against the carpeted floor. Once he’s left the room, you drag yourself out of bed to change into something a bit more appropriate.

Your memory of the night before is somewhat of a blur due to the amount of wine you’d consumed, but you do remember the things you said to him right before falling asleep; the way he touched and held you like you were his own. Your heart flutters at the memory of the way he brushed a fallen tear from your skin and spoke to you in a soft, soothing voice. You’ve deceived yourself by saying that this is just a crush, because it’s more than that and deep down you’re slowly beginning to realize it. 

After pulling on the clean, discarded sweatpants that, in your drunken frustration, had been left in a crumple on the floor, you make your way to the kitchen. Harry’s there already, spreading mashed avocado onto freshly toasted bread before lightly salting it with garlic salt and placing a perfectly fried egg on top. He’s humming to himself as he works to make more slices and you smile, clearing your throat to catch his attention.

He turns his head in your direction. “Oh, hey! Do you want one slice or two?” 

“Um, I’ll have two, please,” You respond, slowly making your way across the small kitchen to where he stands at the counter. “You didn’t have to make breakfast, though,”

He shakes his head as he sucks a bit of avocado from his thumb. “It’s no problem, really. I don’t mind.”

Just as he finishes his sentence, Deidre walks through the front door, calling: “Hello! I’m back!” 

You walk through the kitchen doorway to find her at the door, sporting the same outfit as she had been last night. Her hair is tied up into a messy bun, though, and her shoes are in her hand instead of on her feet. 

“Good morning,” You greet.

She tosses her shoes aside and smiles at you. “Hey, I’m sorry about last night. Can we talk later?”

“Yeah, sure.” You nod and give her a small smile back, lacking the energy to still be mad at her and giving into your tendency of forgiveness. 

As she follows you into the kitchen, she greets Harry with a quick ‘good morning’, grabbing a fully assembled piece of toast from him before scurrying off for a shower and leaving the two of you alone once more. It’s easier being around him now. There’s a hint of tension now, but it isn’t malicious or uncomfortable tension. You feel drawn to him even more than you did before and you can tell he’s feeling the same way. 

“God, Harry, that was so good.” You nearly moan as you wipe the crumbs of toast from your fingertips.

He smiles, swallowing and wiping the corner of his mouth. “M’glad you liked it.”

“You’ll have to teach me your cooking and baking skills someday,” You chuckle, subtly hinting at spending more time with him. 

He downs the rest of the coffee in his mug, humming. “I’d love to.”

You smile at him, standing to take your dishes to the sink and holding out your hand for his. He frowns and shakes his head. “None of that, I’ll clean up.”

“At least let me help.” You pout. 

He chuckles. “If you insist.”

You follow him to the sink, watching as he takes the dishes and begins to rinse them and hand them over to you so that you can place them into the dishwasher. There really isn’t much of a reason for you to be helping him, but you’re finding it hard to keep yourself away from him. The giddy flutter of your heart when his fingers brush against yours and the flirtatious smiles spread across your faces makes you feel utterly alive and you never want it to end. But, eventually, there are no more dishes to clean and you’re in desperate need of a shower, so he thanks you for your help and the two of you go your separate ways.

Cold, frothy water splashes against your bare feet as you walk along the sandy shore. Your sandals are dangling from your fingertips and your loose-fitted jeans are rolled up to your shins to allow a more comfortable stroll. The sun is just beginning to set, casting a peach hue along the crystal-like water as it rolls lazily back and forth. 

Deidre is a few feet behind you, collecting a lone seashell she’d spotted during her stroll. A quiet moment passes and then she’s beside you again, palm stretched out into your direction to show you the small, detailed shell with a glowing pride. 

“Oh, that one’s gorgeous.” You gush at its beauty, taking it between your own fingers to examine it further. It’s a small tulip shell, only about two inches in size, but its shimmery, pearlish gleam is almost breathtaking under the dim sunlight. 

“Think I’ll try to find another one and make them into earrings.” She smiles as you place it back into her hand. 

“Yeah, that’d be cute!”

The two of you have only just left the beach house in an effort to be somewhere alone so the two of you can talk things out. Deidre is silent for a moment, both of you ruminating the possible ways to begin the conversation. Then, she speaks.

“I’m sorry for leaving you like that yesterday, that wasn’t very cool of me.”

You smile a little, “Thanks. I’m sorry for getting so upset with you. I definitely could’ve handled that better.”

She nods. “Yeah. I think we both could’ve handled that much better.”

“Definitely,” You agree, kicking the damp sand with your bare feet. “I just think that, you know, you promised to spend time with me on this trip and I feel like I’ve barely seen you. And I’m glad you’ve made friends, but I’d kinda like to just spend time with you at some point.”

“Yeah,” She sighs, “I’m sorry.”

You turn to her, stopping in your tracks and opening your arms for a hug. “Are we good?”

“Of course.” She smiles and wraps you into a giant bear hug, causing both of you to stumble on the sand a bit. Both of you are giggling uncontrollably once you pull away, nearly falling into the sand beneath your feet. 

“I’ll race you back to the house,” You smile deviously, planting your feet in the starting position and waiting for her to do the same. 

She smirks and positions herself beside you. “Oh, you’re on.”

The two of you bolt towards the house at top speed, sand kicking up behind you in big clouds as scurry along the beach under the pale evening sunlight. 

You reach the house moments before her, immediately collapsing into the sand in front of the stairs to catch your breath. Deidre is quick to stumble up behind you, nearly skidding to a stop as she takes several big gulps of air through a laugh. 

“Still got it,” You wink at her, a similar image of the two of you in the same positions at a much younger age flashing across your mind briefly. 

She flashes you a mocking smile with a tilt to her head and then the repetitive ring of her phone in her pocket interrupts the moment. You watch as she tugs it from her pocket, sliding her finger across the screen and lifting it to her ear with a peppy greeting to the other person on the line. Immediately by the tone of her voice you know exactly what’s about to happen. She’s going to do exactly what she’s been doing since the trip began– or rather, since the two of you were teenagers– she’s going to sputter out a mouthful of excuses and then she’s going to leave.

“Okay, I’ll be out front in five minutes! See ya!” She says before sliding her phone back into her pocket and smiling at you. “That was Jeffrey and his friends, they invited me out again tonight and I promised I would go.”  

She doesn’t even fucking realize...

Sheathing your blinding frustration with a tinge of annoyance, you nod, motion up the stairs before mumbling: “Well, then, you better get going.”

Watching her scurry back up the stairs and into the house, your heart sinks into your chest. She’s so used to you just allowing things like this to happen that she doesn’t even realize how much it’s hurting your relationship and how much it’s hurting you.

After dropping your sandals there you find yourself wandering from the bottom of the stairs back out into the shore, lazily kicking at the shallow water whilst your arms are wrapped around your chest. It’s gotten much darker and people are beginning to filter out through the dunes, lugging their belongings or simply just walking hand in hand. 

The waves crash repeatedly with a lulling, crisp sound that drowns out all other sound in your ears. The air is warm and so is the wind as it swirls and whips around you, causing the loose fabric of your sweater to flap obnoxiously. 

Faintly in the distance, you can hear the screen door of the back porch swing shut and it draws your eyes back up to the house where Harry bounds down the stairs with a smile on his face. A smile just for you.

“Hey!” He calls, gasping for air as he jogs towards you across the sand. You wave back at him with a small smile, crossing your arms over your chest as you stand and wait for him to reach you. 

“Hi,”

“You alright?” He frowns, stepping closer to you. 

You sigh, fingertips pressed against your forehead in a weak attempt to hide your distress. “I- uh, yeah I’m okay.”

“Doesn’t really look like it,” He says, tilting his head to examine your face a bit better. 

You squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to hold back the tears beginning to build at the edge of your lash line, taking a deep breath. “It’s just- fuck, Harry, she keeps doing it. She keeps telling me that she wants to spend more time together and then she just leaves me. And she doesn’t even fucking realize it,” You look back up at him in the dim evening lighting, wrapping your sweater clad arms around yourself. “Like- what am I supposed to do? She doesn’t listen to me.”

A pregnant pause follows when you finish speaking before Harry speaks. “I don’t know if you can really do anything. Deidre is going to do what she wants to do, regardless of how it affects you.”

He’s right. As much as you never thought you’d actually admit it to yourself, you know he’s right. It feels almost as if a weight has been lifted off your chest; a weight that’s been there since you and Deidre blossomed into teenagers and she gradually began to treat you this way. And then you’re looking back at Harry, gears turning in your brain at a pace that’s almost too fast for you to process. Then, without any sort of caution or judgement as to what it might result in, you’re surging forward pressing a hand to the back of his neck, beneath his mop of hair, and frantically pulling his lips against yours. 

It takes a millisecond for him to react, but then he’s kissing you back harder, long arms coming to wrap around your waist and press you into his chest as his soft, supple lips move skillfully against yours. Every long, heart aching year that passed that you had grown to care for him flashes through your mind; every smile he directed at you; every time he wrapped his arms around you in a giant bear hug, mumbling: “Nice to see you,” in your ear; every moment that you spent falling in love with him. 

He’s the first to pull away, arms unwavering from their place around you. “What about Deidre?”

You stare back at him for a moment before shaking your head, mumbling: “I don’t care.” under your breath, eyes flickering down to his lips before both of you are lunging forward once again. 

Both of you stumble around on the sand for a moment and then Harry falls back into the sand, ass first, bringing you down with him. The two of you are a fit of giggles and snorts as you land in the fluffy, damp sand, limbs tangled between limbs. You land with your legs straddling his slim waist, hands planted against the sand beneath him, hovering over him with a smile. He gazes back up at you with his own dimpled smile, his hands resting cautiously on your hips. He stares at you, studying your face as the two of you catch your breath before he says something that has your stomach twisting into knots and your skin bursting into flames. 

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,”

You lift one of your hands to cover your face, giggling nervously at his words as he lifts himself to sit in the sand with you in his lap. “I’m serious.”

“Why?” You whisper in response, hands coming to rest on his shoulders. 

“God,” He mumbles your name, “You might not see it, but I see it. And I’ve seen it since we were kids; since I was 18.”

You’re speechless, unable to form a full sentence to respond to him, so you just grab his face between your hands and latch your lips onto his again. You stay like that, lips dragging against each other’s lazily until the sun finishes setting and the only source of light comes from the bright glow of the moon. And then he pulls away again, hooded eyelids trained on yours. 

“Let me take you out. Like, on a date.”

You smile, “Okay.”

don’t forget to reblog if u enjoyed!!<3

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[passable-talent]

May I perhaps request a part 8 for the dai li series? I'm very very hype for what's to come for the finale!

should’ve figured this would happen within 20 min

ya boi returns after a week of classes with significantly better mental health! not enough to make me think I’ll be here more often than I have, but enough to give me the passion i need to f u c k i n g d e l i v e r 

and now...

THE MOMENT YOUVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 |

The day of Sozin’s Comet.

The comet tore its way across the sky behind Appa, vaporizing clouds and turning the sky blood red, as though it knew the terror and destruction it was meant to bring. Seated in Appa’s saddle behind Katara and Zuko, you looked over his tail at it, its brightness in the sky that rivaled the sun. You wondered when it would behind to effect firebenders- you wondered if Zuko could already feel it. 

“Zuko, don’t worry,” said Katara, catching the anxiety you had noticed slipping off of him like waves. “We can take Azula.”

“I’m not worried about her,” Zuko said, “I’m worried about Aang. What if he doesn’t have the guts to take out my father?” You made brief eye contact with Katara before moving forward, getting closer to the conversation. 

“What if he loses?” Zuko’s voice was clear in its trepidation. 

“Aang won’t lose,” Karata said, confidence in her tone. “He’s gonna come back. He has to.” You put your hand on her shoulder, settling down on your knees between the two of them. 

“Of course he will,” you said, looking over your shoulder once again at the comet. “He wouldn’t let us face Ozai without him.” Zuko caught his reaction before it made its way to his face, controlling it. But all the same, he had to wonder- had he even told you his father’s name? And referring to him as ‘Ozai’, rather than ‘the Firelord’- a disrespect that even some of the others of the team hadn’t done. 

None of the three of you wore armor. What would metal do against fire, anyway? You wore the uniform of a Dai Li student, or what had once been. Its long, loose sleeves had been ripped at your biceps and the baggy pants ripped just below your knees, so that all that was left to be recognized was the symbol of Ba Sing Se on your chest, and the gold trim as it hung at your waist. If you were going to win the war, today, you’d do it for your home city. 

You didn’t wear shoes. 

“There’s the palace,” Katara said, leaning forward to get as good a look at the courtyard as she could. “It’s almost empty.”

“Except for Azula,” you said, narrowing your eyes as though that would help you see. “And those guys.”

“Those are the Fire Sages. Everyone else is either with the fleet or at home, waiting for the victory,” Zuko said, his normal brand of anger yet nonchalance gracing his voice. Drawing closer, the words of the Fire Sages drifted up to where you could hear them, high on Appa’s back. 

“By decree of Phoenix King Ozai, I now crown you Firelord-” he hands swung down to place the crown in Azula’s hair, but he paused, noticing Appa beside one of the towers. Appa bellowed as he approached, and Azula’s words were lost beneath the sound. Appa landed at the steps of the palace, and Zuko stood. 

“Sorry, but you’re not going to become Firelord today.” He leapt down, leaving you and Katara on the saddle. “I am.” Azula’s laugh ground on your ears, shivering you to the bone. She looked... unkempt. 

“You’re hilarious.” Katara approached Zuko’s side, and you flanked his other. 

“And you’re going down,” she levied against Azula, and you couldn’t help but find a smile sliding to your face. Azula has had this coming, just like you said to Iroh only hours ago. You were happy that you got to be a part of the force that took her down, after all the pain she had brought into your life. She was a monster. 

“Wait,” Azula said, stopping the head sage from placing the headpiece on her, “You want to be Firelord?” She stood, and walked toward the edge of the stairs. You didn’t like standing beneath her. “Fine. Let’s settle this. Just you and me, brother.” She spat the word with contempt that you wanted to wipe right off of her face. “The showdown that was always meant to be- Agni Kai!” 

“You’re on,” Zuko growled before you could even react. You turned your head, noticing Katara had done the same. 

“Zuko-” you said, concern in your voice. You’d come all this way to help, and Katara had too, and now he was going to take her on without you? 

“What are you doing? She’s playing you,” Katara said, narrowing her eyes. “She knows she can’t take all three of us, so she’s trying to separate us.” You wanted to reach out and take his hand, as though to pull him toward reason, but something held you back. You stole a glance at Azula, and the sick, gloating smile on her face. 

“I know,” Zuko said, and your eyes widened slightly, surprised that he knew the trap but still walked into it. “But I can take her this time.”

“But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula.”

“Zuko, that’s why we’re here for you,” you added, finally breaking your gaze from the princess. 

“There’s something off about her,” he said, “I can’t explain it, but she’s slipping.” It was like you could feel her gaze on the side of your head as you looked at her brother, like you could feel her weighing her decisions, like she did back in Ba Sing Se, when she manipulated you and Zuko both. It made you shiver. 

“And this way,” Zuko said, reaching out and taking your hand while he looked at Katara, “no one else has to get hurt.” You squeezed his hand, tightly, before letting go and circling him to Katara’s side. The courtyard before the steps of the palace were cleared, and the two siblings took up positions facing away from each other. You stood with Katara, not far from Zuko. It may have been against the rules, but still you wanted to stand by, in case you needed to interfere and help him. You were sure Katara felt the same way. 

Slowly, the siblings stood, what felt like miles separating them. 

“I’m sorry it has to end this way, brother,” Azula said in a near snarl, slicking her robe from her shoulders and discarding it to the ground. Zuko stood steadfast in his ready stance, calm. 

“No you’re not.”

Azula took up her ready stance, and before you knew it, the battle had begun. 

Until this moment, you hadn’t seen firebending under the influence of Sozin’s Comet. You understood the effect it was supposed to have had, but the pure size of the awful flames was something you could never have predicted, nor truly understood, if it weren’t for this moment, this amazing and intense shot of flame Azula conjured, her blue contrasting the sky and sun of dark red, and Zuko’s return, his bright yellows and oranges filling your vision and blocking Azula. The impact of the powers of the siblings created a wall that bisected the entirety of the palace grounds, and the heat and wind pushed your hair from your face. 

From the fading wall burst Azula’s fire, four waves of flame accompanying her movements, and as Zuko split and deflected each one, you kept your eye on him. His footwork. His stance. He had learned from Aang, just a bit- don’t go straight to the attack. Weave with your partner. He had absolute control, but still your fists flexed, making the ground roll beneath your exposed toes. Your feet were firmly planted to the ground, so even when you blinked, you could follow the fight. 

The two traded blows, their deflected flames launching up and out of the courtyard, coloring the clouds. Azula’s misfires tore through homes and set rooftops ablaze. Zuko’s blast toward her was matched, and as he adjusted his position it moved past him, a wall of cyan sliding past a wall of amber. Planting a foot to the floor, you rocked your fist up, a wall erupting from the stone floor to split Azula’s blaze in front of you and Katara. For the moment, you huddled together, watching as the fire circled you like a predator before disappearing. Quickly, you shot it down into its place, and once again took your eyes to the battle. The front of the palace was ablaze, and in a rage, Azula leapt toward Zuko, raining down on top of him what looked like a whip of fire. Planting his stance, he split it, a pathway opening straight from him to his sister. You recognized that move- Toph had taught it to you. 

Azula was on one knee, collecting herself, and from far away it looked like she was breathing hard. Zuko, on the other hand, stood strong, and steady. He moved toward her two interwoven streams of flame that roared and grew as they moved, which she slid out from beside. You couldn’t look away, even as tears fought to moisten your eyes from their onslaught of heat. Azula gave him a sloppy attack, and so he did what you could only describe as ascending, rising on a pillar of fire until he could swing an arc at her as he fell back down, splitting her next offense. 

She swung around him, weaving, and he stood his ground, protecting himself. But he sensed the weakness that you could not see- as long as she was sliding on her flames, as long as she wasn’t connected to the ground, he could break her root. He sent a wave of flame in all directions that broke up her fire, and sent her crashing to the ground. 

She collected herself up, her hair fallen from its updo, fluttering around her and into her eyes. She had a madness in those eyes, a bloodthirst, but her stance was weak and her back hunched, like something was giving out beneath her. 

“No lightning today?” You heard Zuko taunt. “What’s’a matter? Afraid I’ll redirect it?” He brought himself into an offensive stance, and, sensing danger, Katara ran closer. You followed, remembering your last run-in with Azula’s lightning. The night Aang died. 

“Oh, I’ll show you lightning!” Azula snarled, and, following your instincts, you pushed Katara behind you. Rock would fare better against lightning than water. 

With movements to her right, then her left, Azula collected her lightning, thunder echoing off of walls and mountainsides and clouds all around you. Through the earth you felt as Zuko took a deep breath, his heartbeat calm, but your eyes remained on the princess. 

She gathered her two fingers to her chest, readying to fire. But then, you saw her eyes land on you.

Sometimes, a person sees a million moments pass in less than one. 

You saw her stance pivot to you, and her arm extend toward you and Katara. But she wasn’t targeting Katara- she knew what you were, and what you had become. You had become a weakness, not in yourself, but in Zuko, and she had seen it in the way you looked at him in Ba Sing Se, and she had seen it in the way he had reached for your hand at the steps of the palace. You had endangered Katara, and so with the world moving by at the pace of a million moments in less than one, you launched forward to plant both feet, sweeping your arms from your sides and in, up, and from the tiles began to rise a wall. 

And you saw, at a pace of a million moments in less than one, the way that Zuko ran between you and the lightning, the blue of it drowning out any other color. The strength in your arms faded, and the wall in front of you, meant to protect you and Katara, vaporized to sand, and crumbled back to the ground. Zuko absorbed the lightning, and shot it out above the walls of the volcano. 

There he was left, then, trembling. 

“Zuko!” you shouted, and Katara the same, both of you meaning to run toward him. But Azula reminded you that she was still a threat by slamming the ground in front of you with lightning, and you snapped your gaze to her. 

Once, in a cavern deep beneath a palace in Ba Sing Se, Azula had come between you and Zuko. And that day, you’d been too scared- you were a kid who had never seen war. You weren’t ready to attack, and if you were, maybe that day would’ve changed how the war played out. Once, in a cavern deep beneath a palace in Ba Sing Se, you’d failed to keep Zuko from his sister. 

It wouldn’t happen again. 

You let out a scream and lifted a dozen boulders from the tiled ground, launching them at the princess, each in turn. Her laughter grated against your skin and you’d never moved with such rage in your bones before, the strain on your joints nothing compared to your heartbreak. Your hair and clothes whipped around you, put to the test by the speed with which you were moving. And yet, Azula alluded you. 

“Y/N!” Katara called, and you wisened up for just long enough to realize that she was all too used to fighting off a rage-fueled attacker. You weren’t going to win this way, and now, winning was up to Katara and you. One more shot you pressed toward her, and using that as a distraction, you knocked her from her path with a stone launched from just beside her. It gave you enough time to slip with Katara from the battlefield into the awning-filled pavilions nearby. 

You could barely keep your legs from turning you back to where Zuko still lay. 

Azula brought her fire down from behind the pavilion where you and Katara had taken shelter, and so she chased you out, back toward the open yard. Katara made a break for Zuko, covering her hand in water so she could heal him, and as you ran, you threw your open hands down toward the ground, walls slicing up beside him, hopefully to keep him safe. But your path was interrupted by Azula’s flame, her laughter rocking your core as she conjured lightning, and so you shot back a boulder to divert her long enough for you and Katara to put just a bit more distance between you and her.

Still, her lightning caught up to you, and the explosion sent you both flying. Katara rolled, and you brought up a platform to land on properly. Azula landed on a nearby rooftop, giddy smiles on her face. 

“I’d really rather our family physician look after little Zu-zu, if you don’t mind!” Her voice gave you pause, even as you launched to the side to avoid her lightning. What, really, was she doing, attacking her own brother? What had brought her to being the bloodthirsty murderer she was so prepared to become?

More flame chased Katara as she joined you behind a pillar, and you stomped your heel to the floor to raise even another wall between you and where Azula had just been. 

“Zu-zu, you don’t look so good!” Azula snarled, and with her scream sent another bolt of lightning to Katara, the crack of thunder nearly deafening you as it split you from her, sending you in opposite directions. 

After all that, though, when choosing who Azula would go after, who Azula would see as a threat, it wasn’t you. She went for Katara, and after a moment, you realized her goal- Katara was the only one, now, who could save Zuko’s life. And so you slipped to the side, running between columns, one eye on Azula and the other on Zuko. Katara froze both her and the princess in place, and immediately you knew who would come out the winner. You bolted to Zuko’s side, your feet carrying you shakily, until you crashed to your knees beside him. You lowered the walls you’d put up around him and rolled him to his back, finally laying eyes on the deep, raw wound on his stomach. 

“Stay still,” you ordered him, extending one foot out to ground yourself, and you punched the tile in order to raise up a platform underneath him, where Katara could hope to work better. Shaking hands extended toward his face, and those tears that once tried to protect your eyes from the heat now tried to protect them from something far, far worse- the pain in Zuko’s expression. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” you promised him, even as he flinched and groaned, even as your voice shook, even as you slowly cupped his face. The sound of a crash of water made you look over your shoulder, and the sight you found was relieving- Katara chaining Azula to the ground. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” you promised again, your voice shaking even as this time, you knew you weren’t lying. Katara was there only a moment later, water already coating her hands, ready to press it down into his wound. It began to glow, and you watched as Zuko’s face first flexed with more pain, then relaxed. A tearful smile crossed your face and a small sob escaped your lungs, and he looked first to you, then to Katara. 

“Thank you, Katara,” he said, taking a deep breath, and settling his muscles down onto the stone beneath him. 

Azula had been defeated. Zuko was to be Firelord. For the moment, the world was triumphant, and you saw him smile. You’d waited a thousand moments for this one, right here, when everything was okay, and when he was safe. 

You’d waited a thousand moments, but in this one, you couldn’t remember the ones where he’d hurt you, where you’d hated him. You couldn’t remember the ones filled with pain, and anger, the ones in which you walked away from him in anger, or threw up a wall between the two of you, or yelled at him. You couldn’t remember the ones in which he hadn’t done what you’d needed him to, or in which you had kept yourself at arms length. 

All you could remember where the moments that truly brought you to this one, right here. 

Finally, you leaned down, and you kissed him. 

Your fingers slid into his hair at the back of his head, and cupped his head away from the hard stone beneath him. Your eyes closed, all you could do was feel, your instep pressed to the ground beneath you, your lips pressing against his. And you didn’t want him to move, to push himself, but he did cup your face, letting his fingertips feel into your scalp, as your hair fell down past your cheekbones. 

When you parted, for a moment, you couldn’t do anything but stare. 

“I love you,” you said, and a smile pulled at his lips. 

“I love you, too.” 

You brought your legs to your side to help him sit up, and then stand, one of your arms around his waist. Seemingly overwhelmed by her brother’s total victory, Azula truly fell, tears and screams leaving her while she flailed and spit fire. Finally, as you stood in front of her, in her truest, basest form, you recognized what you had never, any time you’d faced her. 

She was never in control. She was just scared, and finally, she’d been beaten, just like she always feared. 

Katara looked away. You couldn’t bring yourself to. 

~~~

As you took Zuko into the palace to rest, Katara traversed the palace city, putting out fires. It would take work, but the city would be inhabitable again, once Zuko took the throne. He had a lot of recovering to do, but by the time the world had gathered for his coronation, he was well enough to walk on his own, and to kneel to receive the crown. Still, though, he had trouble reaching behind himself to put on his robes. 

Luckily, you were always there to help him. 

“So I suppose, after all this, you’re going to go home,” he said as you lifted his clothing to his shoulders. 

“Hmm?”

“Back to Ba Sing Se. I know you miss it.” A small smile graced your lips, but you shook your head as you smoothed the wrinkles across his shoulders. 

“I do. I miss the city, but it hasn’t been my home. Not for a long time.” You circled around Zuko to take his hand just beside him, regarding him with a warm expression, warmth toward him that you could only match with a few moments before. 

“I thought I made it clear that this- right here-” you lifted his hand, interlocked with yours, up to his sight. “-This is my home.” He brought your hand down so that he could lean into a kiss, and you could enjoy it only for a moment before you had to pull away. 

“I’ve got to go,” you said, a bright smile on your face. “Toph saved my seat, and Aang is waiting for you!” You rushed to the door, a small exit that wouldn’t be noticed by the crowd gathered out front, but you paused. “Good luck,” you said, giving him an honest and traditional Fire Nation bow. 

“Your Highness.” 

-🦌 Roe

tag list: @furblrwurblr @eridanuswave @bernadineisreborn @angxlicwanda @celamoon @mywigglybaby @silentwhispofhope @the-girl-in-the-box @mavix @eury-dice3 @ninipoo1 @bigbuckyenergy @lucensei @srgania @uncovered-mad-man @11mb0 @deansbbysblog @pillowjj @ilovespideyyy @heavensgaymenace @thearachna-kid @llama2264 @anime-simp @akariblue @lostgirlheart @kacchasu @ctrl-alt-jeon @tadpoledancer @i-bitch-you-bitch @wetleafwrites @lammello @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @kittyddandnyla @smol-vy @lana-isabelle @doomedcampesinos @luleck @izzieserra @little-miss-sleep-deprived @poofyhairuwu @astroninaaa @littleladdty @davnwillcome @flourish-and-bloggs @heavensgaymenace @obnoxioussmiley @thyunnamed @harmlessoffering @j-ma26-rb @happyseadreams

[ranmanjuu]

—gen z mc with uesugi-takeda + misc. forces

ahh, i’m so glad people liked my gen z oda hcs! lol it’s usually pretty slow from my writing blog experiences until now, but i’m rlly happy! i was planning to do u-t and the others but then i decided to stop at oda and continue another day. thx for the asks tho! and yeah, i do take requests but it’s more of a pasttime, since this whole blog is just my stupid ideas written out and shared out there.

also someone said that a gen z mc could be old enough to romance the warlords, like, early twenties. and yes, very fair if u wanna romance ur mans with memes and existentialism go for it!! i just think it adds more to the comedy side of this child they have to babysit, while not fearing death or any consequences from their dumb of Ass decisions. someone who fears no death and armed with no braincells is a fool, but a Child who fears no death and armed with no braincells is also a fool, but more bizzare and has That Vibe y’know

@niphredil-14​ and @arthotsglasses​

tw: s*icidal, violent jokes treated in a light manner

also spoilers to some things of their characters

—kenshin:

who is this,, , sassy lost child??

he first saw you prepared to throw hands with ronins who were being Elite Dickheads. ofc, armed with nothing compared to the sworded-adults, he had to interfere.

no matter how cold he treated you, masking his secret !!!-like concern, you seemed so unfazed through it. you still interacted with him like normal,,,,, why?? do you want a death wish?

and each time he threatened you with,, anything, you responded with, “the only one who gets to hurt & kill me, is ME”

...... what?

he’s convinced you’re the biggest fool of a person. and he’d be right but even so, he has a weirdly strong need to protect you as you two got closer. you’re often with sasuke, so it’s harder to avoid you.

even with all the Horrible jokes you make on a daily basis, if your passionate side with everyone having equal rights of being treated as human, for him it shows a side of you that makes you seem precious and pure and kind hearted.

and the overprotective side increases.

which is, ,, a bit problematic sometimes cause you have the tendency to target and piss off anyone in a 10 meter range by just one (1) sassy comment, along with your lack of impulse control and blurting out everything in your mind. it’s made you a lot of short enemies in the sengoku period, and kenshin would always be ready to slice them down behind you.

sasuke has to tame him down with his Masters degree in kenshin-wrangling.

at banquets, kenshin would often have you beside him. if you’re too young for sake do age for drinking exist in sengoku? probably not. it’s more of sasuke advising for him to not give you alcoholic drinks he’ll have you pouring for him or just munching away at pickled plums or food.

—shingen:

(ngl i kinda had a hard time with this since it’s erasing a big part of his overall character,,, flirting)

once he heard the news that oda had taken in somone as young as you during honno-ji,, ,,,he’s in a very “how dare that demon >>:( taking such a pure soul,....”

and when you’re taken to kasugayama as a captive, you’re,,, surprisingly very calm and whelmed. you don’t have much sign of fear or anxiety in your overall demeanor meanwhile you’re busy dissociating and spacing out to feel those

you actually don’t seem to hate your captor. but shingen isn’t sure if your ‘fingerguns’ is a good thing or not cause it depicts you pointing guns @ him,, (dw is good shingen)

while yes being held hostage—no matter how good you’re being treated—isn’t ideal and kinda not very cash money, you consider shingen v chill. man has a kindheart!! “i diagnose you with good vibes.”

if he ever sees your righteous side, as everyone else, he’ll deeply admire you. he himself is someone who believes in such as well. and hearing the circumstances in the modern world regarding those things (blm, etc.) his heart truly does go out for you. he feels sympathy for such a young person like you having to take action

also your dirty humor around him, echigo’s player, kind of makes him question where and how you learnt it

and,, his illness.

through getting straight to the point and not falling for it each time he changes subject/dodges the question, you managed to get to the bottom of his illness. shingen himself thinks it’s not something you have to burden with knowing—you’re so, so young.

but that doesn’t matter to you. the world’s given you such a shit time, you’re mature enough to understand the situation at least.

and as he finishes his explanation, all there was is silence. it felt wrong to say any of your usual quips,, so all you did was slowly came there and hugged him.

that was more than what he’d ask for.

—sasuke:

oh hell yeah

you are in your element with him. the chillest guy to talk to, and probably the first one you’re the closest to

your phone was dead after like 2 days of use, and you were miserable while hideyoshi, like a typical parent, told you to go outside and into town. sensing your bad mood, sasuke asked what’s up. you deadpanned, “my phone game ended and now i’m ready to commit not breath.” you oslemnly look out in the bustling streets and clutched your fist like an Anime Protagonist, “those boomer memes were right all along... i am absolutely Miserable and Useless(^TM) without it.”

in response, you could’ve sworn he did the Anime Glasses thing as well, “then we at team Moderately Awesome Sengoku Ninja are happy to announce the launch of a DIY phone charger, made with the electricity from a fruit and the main functionality of a solar panel. and has more durability than samsung’s.”

there were Stars in your eyes now. with a big grin, you thank him, “i’d die for you, sasuke.”

“then perish.” he said with a blank look. (yukimura, in the bg: ???!!!??!??!?)

the next day he consentually breaks in through the ceiling and gives you the weird contraption. you’re now saved, soul-wise.

the memes start coming and they don’t stop coming from the two of you. in any situation. whether it’d be at a teahouse, or at a battlefield that can determine your life and death.

and you can have discussions about current world events, or the past ones, with him and he’d understand completely what you’re talking about. it’s those rare nights when you’ve been thinking and have a deep conversation with him in his room, and as an adult, it makes for interesting results as well.

the others are endlessly confused, but you’re both so unapologetically yourselves.

and he’s super protective if the circumstances are tough. he feels bad for dragging another person in the sengoku with him—much less when they’re so young like you.

if you’re enough of a lil shit, once you’re taken into kasugayama, in the nights where you can’t sleep because brain at what would be 3 am, you’d probably trudge over to his room and wake him up to tell him what kind of mind-blowing shit you realized.

—yukimura:

when he saved you from falling to your death, your reaction already set off weird Vibes inside him. what do you mean, “you stopped me from fleeing this fleeting world by the sweet embrace of death” ?!?!?! are you crazy?? yes

he doesn’t waste time getting blunt with you at all either.

once he goes into azuchi as a merchant, he silently observes you talking to sasuke for a bit. what’s with your weird language?? and crude humor???? never in his life has he met someone in your age act like that wtf

even so, he still operates on the basis of ‘‘if sasuke trusts you, i trust you’’, no matter how utterly concerned you make him feel

you have a dirtier mind than him! unsurprisingly. along with everyone else, you often tease the poor soul, a nd you’d gladly tell him what the innuendoes mean ( 69, etc.) and maybe sprinkle in some gay jokes in there

and why do you keep mentioning this “bromance between him and sasuke” ?? what us,,, a bromance????? and why is sasuke in it??

he takes you out to teahouses to eat chestnut dumplings and other desserts with you. you always seem to target the one he doesn’t like the most and have a bit of banter

your relationship is built on banter but what’s different rlly

he treats you much more maturely than other people your age. as in, he doesn’t pull back his punches in words most of the time. you don’t seem to around him also, it looks like.

and, he’s also very protective of you. he regards you as his little sibling, as rat as you may be. and he does care about you—he might just be a bit unwilling to say it

—yoshimoto:

you think he’s very chill, if a bit unique but who were you to judge. and he is, if you ever meet him in echigo or even azuchi

his big liking to art and something of apathy to people is osmething you can respect. there’s something about that kind of Vibe that you find oddly a mood.

and oh boy oh boy you wasted no time pulling up your phone and showing images of what art is in the future. whether it’d be a screenshot of anime, fanart, aesthetic-like ones, palette-themed—the whole shabang. 

and, somehow, you were left ranting to him  about how some artists in the future get it so shitty for theft, reposting, not crediting, the list goes on (please be a decent human being to artist, sincerely the author) and he can’t help but just listen in silence and kind of thinking about how you’re so passionate about the Struggles of artists. and it isn’t something he sees often in the sengoku era—where war rules most things.

and he does find art from the modern times interesting, how they’re so different and vast in styles. and not only that, it’s not like the future only has one major style like then, each hand can draw such different pictures and still have beauty in each. he appreciates and admires that.

and he does tell you his thoughts ^ while you give your own insight. it’s so fascinating to see someone like you having strong opinions on this.

because, well, rn art is a big thing in our lives as we’re stuck inside. a part of entertainment is looking at any media of art—and he finds his view of art and yours quite the same. you two came from a time of turmoil (one moreso than the other) but still think art isn’t exactly irrelevant just because it isn’t a cure to diseases or the Ultimate Weapon.

you had to Surgically Remove him from your phone so you can use it and to stop him from draining your battery looking at the art

and he often drags you out to town and admire pieces when you’re holing yourself in too much. your comments are always unknown to him, “radical”, “that’s one i can vibe with ngl”, and the list goes on.

and you occasionally call him pretty boy as a compliment rlly

—kennyo:

when you first saw him at honno-ji, and he won’t forget the one (1) line you gave him, all you said to his warning of ooo spooky demons was, “that’s lit fam gtg tho”

and that alone was enough to stun him for a few seconds

honestly you told the others of your meeting with kennyo before they told you it could be kennyo. just a throaway line of “oh yeah there was this dude with a scar across his face.” / “,,, ,....that’s kennyo. he’s really dangerous actually—” / “oh, poggers”

you’re probably kind of half the reason the oda forces found who dun it.

and it was an eye for an eye, kennyo himself found out that you were their child chatelaine, and very close to the others. as per his villain-schedule, he kidnaps you .

he laments about how “such a pure soul such as yours is not to be stained by the demon’s hands”

oh how Wrong he was.

you were the definition of the opposite of pure. and you seemed unfazed, which surprised kennyo but shrugged it off. he was willing to face you screaming and panicking, along with shouldering the sin of doing the deed. but instead, he was met with a raised eyebrow and, “this is unexpected and probably not welcomed but what am i doing here.”

he was stunned for a moment before explaining what he can. 

“......... fuck.”

he cringed ever so slightly at your curse. but your attention seems to stray so quickly off of the fact that you were bounded and helpless, to the fact that you have the man doing unspeakable things to civilians and you absolutely don’t approve.

throwing your common sense to maybe be civilized, you went off on a rant of how human rights and how to not be an ass to him. all he could do was just listened, shocked to even cut you off.

when he did, he gave the whole ‘unsaved demon’ shtick, and you weren’t taking that kinda shit. he believed he was truly unsaved—you knew that. but that doesn’t make it okay.

eventually, he left you with a cold end of the conversation.

he admires your spirit in a way—but with what he’s experienced,,, it’s a bit of unreachable for him.

if at any point you saw the soft side of his with animals, you just gaped at him for a split second and whispered, “the gap moe is strong with this one.”

also old man died inside when you said that you’d fight god, along with many things.

all in all, to him, you’re insufferable. but weirdly,, fascinating.

you’ve totally ok boomer’d him once cause he rlly looks old

—motonari:

,,. if your speech to kennyo was bad, he’s going to rant hell.

motonari already knew you were interesting even when his men just spied on you. your behavior, so brash and impulsive, is going to be so fun to have, he thinks.

through some planning to stir up more chaos, he kidnaps you and brings you unto his ship. same as kennyo, you showed no clear sign of surprise, and that’s when he decided you were either used to this in any way, or a fool. both answers, he liked.

you’re kind of really confused on why he’s doing what he’d doing. “i get it, i like to stir up chaos myself but it’s harmless,, most of it—but not until the people are in danger, bitch.”

and by that line, motonari leans towards you with a deadly smirk, “now, i can bite, ‘kay kid? you don’t wanna be in the receiving end... do you?”

“do it, coward.”

and before he could let out even a wheeze of laughter, you continued on on a lecture of, again, not being a dick and letting people live their life in peace. and much less all of this damage, for what? chaos?? yeah you wanted to see the world burn but it wasn’t literally.

however, his patience was running thin. he shuts you up forcefully, and leaves.

even so, after a cooldown period, he still talks to you (,,,, well, that’s kind of a generous term) because, right he was, you were so fun in his eyes.

an interesting observation he made,,, was that you picked up on his big dislike of physical contact. and he’d think with how annoying you were at times, that you’d weaponize it. but you didn’t—in fact, you kept your space (not that you were planning to get close) and respected his boundaries.

he thinks you a bit of peculiar for that decision, some wary, and perhaps naive.

one of the days—the more dangerous ones—he was planning to take you to the oda as bait or something. and you weren’t taking it like that. two days before arrival, a storm racked up. you stood upon the edge of the ship with the rest of the crew watching you like you were a madman.

“the oda won’t want me if i’m dead, would they now?”

motonari stands in his composure, guffawing, “all i need is to make sure they believe you’re alive, kid.”

a smile that showed absolutely no fear and 1000 percent spite spread in your face, “not unless i decimate my own body until all the trail left is my blood. the only one who gets to do that shit to me, is me.”

finally, a look of wavering shows in his face.

you were saved last minute,, and the rest is history.

[fritae]

The Missing Piece (Chapter 12)

Closer.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x f. oc, lov

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

a/n: i really like this chapter heh, hope u enjoy! 😚

The staircase leads all the way to basement. I wondered why they would hide such steep, hidden steps in Dabi's office when they could create (much) shorter, more accessible ones from the first floor.

But I'm guessing that's the point.

This isn't supposed to be easy to reach. And Dabi's office is the one place no one would dare enter.

Aside from us, of course.

The basement is completely dark, forcing me to draw myself even closer to Dabi. I enjoy the weight of his hand in mine. He has a firm, tight grip. But just as the thought warms my cheeks, I shake it out of my head.

Within seconds, Dabi turns on the lights.

My eyes widen, taking in the sight before me.

Blood.

A lot of it.

Though it looks dried, like it's been there for ages.

I spot a wall of different sized knives on one hand. A gun display on the other. A shelf of jars, filled with a murky looking liquid and...I don't even want to know what that is inside.

Dabi watches me.

There's a simple, plastic white table in the center of the floor with a large white board behind it.

The place is much messier and less...classy, than the rest of the Blaze.

But I have the feeling it's because it's not meant for outside eyes.

"You okay?" Dabi asks.

I nod, squeezing his hand to comfort myself.

Before the others reach the bottom, he whispers in my ear, "Whenever you want to leave, let me know. You don't have to be here."

"Okay."

"And," He takes another glance at the stairs as the others begin to appear. "Again, Rina. This place does not exist. Anything we say here does not leave this room. Got it?"

I glance warily at the knives.

"Why are you so worried?" I try to smile so he doesn't pick up on my nervousness. "I don't have anyone outside of you guys anyway. Who would I talk to?"

My comment seems to confuse him. "What about-"

"Welcome to the League!!" Toga jumps off the last few steps and swings into full view.

I shoot Dabi a look. "The League?"

"The League of Villains, of course!" Atsuhiro follows Toga, a dramatic grin on his lips. "Only the baddest group of bad boys in town."

"And girls!" Toga calls out.

"League of Villains?" I cackle. "Who came up with that?"

Tenko scowls.

Oop.

Dabi lets go of my hand and motions for me to take a seat on one of the plastic chairs.

I pick a red chair near the board.

"So what is that you guys really do?"

"I told you," Dabi says. "Special services to people willing to pay up."

Given where we are, that suddenly feels a lot more sinister than it did when he first told me.

I look back at the knives and jars in the background.

"So like, a gang? Where you steal things and hurt people if someone pays you enough? Like the movies?"

"Guess you could put it that way."

"And there's actually people that pay for this stuff?"

Dabi shrugs. "It's a niche market."

Woah.

There's a lot more questions in my head, but now is not the time. Maybe later.

As Dabi moves to take a seat, his abdomen brushes against the edge of the table and he hisses in pain.

It releases blood again.

"Fuck!" He grips the skin.

I move closer to him, gripping his hands again. "It still hurts?" I ask worriedly. "Is there anything we can do?" I look around at the others quickly.

"Yes!" Toga says, a little too eagerly.

"What is it?"

She hops over to knives behind us, and takes a moment deciding which one she wants.

She brandishes a short but sharp blade and lets out an excited squeal, as though she enjoyed this.

"Fire please!" She calls out.

What's she doing?

Dabi groans and pulls a lighter out of his pocket. He tosses it toward her, and she carefully holds it under the edge of the blade, running it up and down for several minutes until it turns red.

She's going to seal the wound so it doesn't get infected.

"Lie down, boss," She says in a sing-song voice.

I clear the few papers were scattered on the table and move so Dabi could spread himself over it.

He lifts the edge of his shirt to his midriff, and my breath catches in my throat when I see his abdomen.

The skin is covered in large swaths of reddish purple.

Like parts of it were burnt off...

I gasp.

"These are old," Dabi looks at me. He's watching me carefully, wanting to see just how I'd react. "Still want to be here?"

I swallow my anxiety as I stare at Dabi's mismatched skin. I won't give him the chance to say 'I told you so.'

This must be why he wouldn't let me dress the wound.

He didn't want me to see this.

No wonder the stab didn't phase him.

What else has his body been through...

"Here I come!" Toga grins.

She was all too eager to take the scorching knife and press it to his stomach.

Dabi clenches his teeth immediately, leaving me to hurriedly stand next to him. I squeeze his hand to soothe him, but he grips mine back so hard I think he might break it.

I brush his hair out of eyes and press my hand to his forehead to calm him.

"It's okay," I tell him softly. "It's over."

The others stare at Dabi's wound uncomfortably, like they've been under Toga's knife before.

I wonder if they have similar wounds.

Dabi releases his harsh grip on my hand and begins to breathe slower.

One things strikes me though.

Despite all the pain he's undoubtedly feeling right now, not a single tear drops from his eyes.

I think it might just be him trying not to appear weak in front of us.

But as I look into his eyes, I'm surprised to find them completely dry.

"Are you superhuman or something?" I joke with him.

He looks at me quizzically.

"All of that and you didn't cry?"

Dabi closes his eyes. "I don't cry." He grits his teeth.

I roll my eyes.

Whatever you say.

The others slowly help him sit up straight. I take the first aid kit from Atsuhiro, picking out the cotton, gauze and antibacterial wipes.

Dabi is less reluctant when I try to wrap the area this time.

"You can hold onto me if you want," I tease as I wrap the gauze around his body.

A small smirk appears on his lips. His arm suddenly snakes around my waist, pulling me close to him.

I blush and the gauze falls out of my hands.

Dabi tilts his head. "What's wrong? Thought you wanted me to hold onto you?"

The guys snicker behind us.

I push him away from me, and he laughs as I take another piece of gauze and try again.

"You guys can talk now," I tell them focused on what I'm doing. "What exactly happened today?

Did Mr. Lane find out about the League? Is that what made you a target?"

Dabi is silent.

His silence puzzles me. I look to the others to see if they knew anything.

"Dabi tried blowing up his car!" Toga volunteers.

I frown.

Could this be just because of how Mr. Lane treated me?

No. There's no reason for it to mean that much to Dabi.

Enough to get angry, sure.

To harm Mr. Lane?

Doubtful.

"Why would you blow up his car?" I ask.

Tenko pulls up a chair. "We did some research on him. He's working with some really shady people. And Dabi told us about the whole Todoroki affair."

I shoot Dabi a look.

"They're trying to trick people into thinking they're heroes. That they should be put on a pedestal and admired. There's people out there telling their kids to be like them. Meanwhile they're going around-"

"Enough," Dabi interrupts Tenko. "Point is, they're fakes. They built up their media empires off that fake image. And we're going to expose them."

"But you guys are also doing...you know," I don't know how to say it in a way that isn't offensive. "I mean, you tried blowing up his car. And I'm guessing you probably have done more...if I'm not reaching."

Their eyes harden.

"We never pretended to be good."

I know I should stay silent, but I keep going.

"Right, but you have a double image too. There's the Blaze, and then there's the League."

They shake their heads.

"The Blaze is to funnel money into the League. Yeah, sure it's a front, but those who need our services know where to find us. We can't have masses of people finding out about the other shit we do, can we?"

"But how did this all start? What are you trying to achieve?"

"We just hate hypocrites. We'll help a bad guy to bring down a worse guy. Those that act like angels in public are our favorite targets. I don't care if we have to steal, blackmail, or kill them," Dabi's eyes shine with evil. "Whatever it takes to beat their egos down. Reveal the private faces they hide. Until they're forced to show their bloody hands before the world. Someone like Enji is using Lane for media coverage. Lane is depending on him for protection and cash. We can take them both down."

"What if you get caught?"

He dismisses the question, like it's not even worth his time. "By who?" He scoffs. "Lane? As soon as we take down Enji, Lane's done for. Since he's your old boss, we can give you leeway with how badly you want us to go after him." Dabi says this like that's what I'm genuinely concerned about right now. "Lane's a scared little prick anyway, as soon as he saw me he bounced out of the car and screamed for protection." He laughs like he can picture Mr. Lane's pathetic position as we speak. "But he'll fall. Just like the rest of them."

"I meant the police, Dabi."

The question puzzles him as if he's never considered it before. But the look in his eyes tells me they're even less of a concern than Mr. Lane.

"Don't worry about that," He says. "That's the least of our problems, to be honest."

I nod.

I let them speak uninterrupted for the rest of the night. They have business to take care of, and if I keep asking questions like this, they'll never get to finish. It's enough that they waited all day for me to leave so they could start. Can't hold them up at night as well.

The Todoroki name was brought up several times, among others. It seems strange now, considering Dabi knows it was Mr. Lane's relations with Enji that led to me leaving the company the way I did. Turns out he knows a lot more about Enji than I do.

I try to keep track of the other names as well, but there's so many and I'm so tired, I can barely keep up.

"Here's where Rina comes in," Dabi continues.

My eyes widen at the mention of my name.

"Enji's using Lane for his image. Rina, you said they were working on a movie or something?"

"A documentary, yes."

"We need to make sure that shit doesn't air."

I bite my lip, trying to remember as much information as I could about the documentary. It was supposed to air already. I remember Mr. Lane saying it would be within the month.

But it hasn't yet.

Which means I need to find out more from Al.

"My roommate still works at NNTV. She's the floor manager so she might have some idea of what's going on. I can ask her."

"You sure you can trust her?" Dabi asks with a frown.

"Well, I'm not gonna tell her any details, she's the one that's gonna need to have trust in me, no?"

Atsuhiro cracks his knuckles and rubs his neck. "I don't know, I don't like the sound of that. We have our own ways of finding stuff out so-"

"It won't hurt to try," I insist, looking at Dabi since he's the one that has final say on these matters. "Having 2 avenues of information is better than 1."

Truth be told, I just want to feel useful. I want to feel like I have a role to play, not just that I'm here to "sit and watch".

I want them to feel good about me being here, not apprehensive about whether this was a good decision.

After some deliberation, Dabi sighs. He looks to the others for input. "Might as well?"

"I mean she's here," Tenko says monotonously. "Might as well use her."

Dabi nods and then turns to me. "Just don't be stupid with it. Lead her into the conversation, don't bring it up out of nowhere. She'll be curious about why you're bringing it up. Don't say anything that'll make her ask questions. The more questions she asks you, the more suspicious she'll be."

"Relax guys, I got this." I smile. "Besides, she's a chatterbox. She'll open up at the slightest nudge and go on forever. She's the one that told me about all the.." I grimace. "..issues with the Todoroki company."

Plus, she's my friend! Of course, I can trust her. We've been roommates for years. If anyone could tell me about Mr. Lane's current plans for the documentary, it'd be her.

"So it's settled!" Toga claps. She takes a marker and goes up to the white board, drawing a flow chart with all that's been discussed today. She adds my part last, circling my name and underlining it several times for emphasis, over a big red INTEL SOURCING.

The sight of that makes me smile, like I have a role to play in all of this. I look around at the others but they're all preoccupied with moving things around and discussing their own parts.

The lack of enthusiasm isn't surprising, I mean this is normal for them.

But all I can think of is how exciting it'll be if I have something to contribute the next time we meet. If they'll call me down, and look at me expectantly. I imagine the looks on their faces with glee and the thought almost makes me giddy.

"Okay, are we done here?" Dabi asks.

A bunch of 'yes'es and 'yup's fill the basement.

"Alright then," Dabi grabs a leather jacket from on the wall and checks to make sure his keys are inside. Then he walks my way and grabs my arm.

"Time for you to go home," He says, moving me in front of him.

"But-"

"Now," His eyes narrow. He moves his head in a silent nudge, telling me to turn around and make my way upstairs.

The others watch us curiously, and Toga lets out a snicker at my expense.

"I'm jealous!" She calls after us. "Wish I had someone to drive me home!"

Dabi groans, nudging me to keep moving.

"Bye guys," I wave back at them from halfway up the steps. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

They all wave warmly and I can't help thinking how grateful I am that they trusted me with this.

It feels so weird emerging out of Dabi's office like this, from a secret path that leads deep under the building. But Dabi simply presses another tile in the walls, and the entrance reseals itself, as though it never existed.

We make our way to his car, and I hurry to catch up to him. The height difference certainly doesn't help.

He unlocks the car and slides into the driver's seat. I follow into the passenger's seat and shift awkwardly in my place.

"Where do you live?" He asks as he readjusts his rearview mirror. No sooner had I told him the address, than he revved the engine and sped away from the Blaze.

The ride is quiet for a while. Regrettably so. Dabi hands me a box of disinfectants to wipe the blood off my hands. I wonder how many times he's had to do the same thing before coming into the office.

I fiddle with the hems of my shirts as I try to think of something to talk about. Dabi doesn't seem to be in as big of a rush to speak, his eyes darting from the rearview to the side mirrors periodically as we cruise down the mostly empty highway.

"Dabi?"

"Hm."

"When they said you were gone today, were you really in the basement the whole time?"

Dabi takes a moment to answer. "After I got back, yeah. Couldn't exactly walk through the front doors looking the way I did." He glances at me before switching lanes.

"Were you avoiding me?"

"Partly."

I nod. "Now that I know about the League, do you think you'd avoid me in a case like this again?"

"A case like this won't happen again."

"Okay." I respond quietly. "Cause you know I get worried."

Dabi seems to be deep in thought.

"You worry a lot for someone who's only met me a month ago."

I smile. "Well, of course. We're friends aren't we?"

Dabi spares me a look before switching lanes again. "Right." But he doesn't look like he fully believes me.

"You think you'll be able to handle your friend?" He changes the subject.

"Who, Aliyah? Of course! I told you, we're really good friends and she's the kind of person that loves gossiping anyway. It'll be a piece of cake."

He grunts. "Okay. Because to be honest, that's part of why I wanted you at the Blaze."

I don't know why hearing that makes me feel slightly sad, but it does. "The documentary?"

"Yeah. I mean you work in the media industry. You'd know about that stuff. People like Enji have the industry wrapped around their palms. When you told me he was cozying up to NNTV, I figured you'd be the person to handle all of that for me."

I nod. "So why haven't you asked me before today?" Come to think of it, he even sounded reluctant about agreeing.

"I don't know," He sighs. "Still not sure I want you mixed up with all of this."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not even a member, remember? I'm just getting information for you," I tease. "What's so dangerous about that?"

"That's what worries me," Dabi glances at me, his brows pulled together. "That's all you see it as."

"What am I supposed to see it as?"

"What it is," Dabi gets increasingly agitated, but he tries to keep himself calm. "I'm not sure you're taking this seriously enough, Rina. The closer you get to us, the more at risk you are. The more people that know you work for me, especially what kind of work," He looks dead serious. "The more danger you'll be in."

I roll my eyes. "But no one knows anything about you, Dabi. I've been here for a month and I'm only just finding out about all of this. And I'm sure there's much more I don't know. How would people outside of the League even find out?"

"Same way we find out shit about them. Lane's using his Todoroki connections to supply him with information and protection. They're good at what they do."

My mouth drops. "You mean the Todorokis know about you?"

"Well," Dabi's jaw hardens. "They think they do."

I wait for him to say more, but he leaves it at that. We ride the rest of the distance in silence.

Once we pull up in front of my apartment complex, I try to put a smile on my face.

"Thanks Dabi." I tell him as I unlock the door.

He nods without looking at me. "See you tomorrow."

Those words trigger me immediately and I let go of the handle.

"Don't say that."

Dabi looks confused.

"You said that yesterday and had no intention of seeing me." I cross my arms. "You broke your promise."

"Don't be dramatic, no one says that shit as a promise."

"See you tomorrow means I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him seriously. "Otherwise, just say goodbye or something else."

He leans his head forward against the steering wheel and sighs. "It's just a stupid phrase, you're overthinking it."

I frown.

"See you tomorrow," He gives up. But still, I don't leave.

"I mean it!" He says. "I. Will. See. You. Tomorrow. Good enough?"

I grin. "Mhm, thank you!" I lean over to give him a quick hug before I leave, and he immediately recoils, like my body was made of ice.

"Handsy, aren't you," He mutters, craning his neck to look at me, without getting too close.

I pull away.

"Always have to ruin the moment, don't you," I counter, slightly disappointed. I turn to open the door, and suddenly feel him pull me back in.

"How do you do that?" His voices comes out low and raspy.

I look into his eyes. "Do what?"

There's that frustration in his eyes again.

"Fucking making me feel bad about shit I'd never fucking feel bad about." He growls.

The way he says it makes me blush.

"Cut that shit out."

"Yes sir," I mumble.

He leans his head back.

Then, he hesitantly opens his arms.

I shake my head, pulling my purse over my shoulder again. "Not gonna force you to do something you don't want to do."

I open the door this time, and just as I'm about to step out of his car, he pulls my arm again - harder this time, and I fall back into the bend of his arm.

My heart is pounding faster. I shake my hair from my face to get a better look at Dabi in the dark.

"Why are you so much fucking work," He mutters, his face inches away from mine. I swallow.

He leans forward to hug me closer to his chest. The leather jacket feels surprisingly smooth against my cheek, and my hand finds the back of his seat to balance myself, careful of coming near his wound. He holds me to him for a few long breaths and I smile against his chest, knowing he can't see me right now.

When we pull away, I look at his face once more. But Dabi avoids my gaze.

"You don't have to play along with me," I tell him, a teasing smile on my lips. "I'll only expect more from you next time."

"See you tomorrow," He mumbles, still without facing me. His foot is on the brakes but he's already pulling the gear shift into Drive.

And then, just before I leave for good and with no time to think this through -

I press my lips on his cheek.

Dabi's eyes widen immediately and he looks at me in alarm. "What-"

"Bye Dabi!" I wave with a laugh as I hurry out of his car. I run to the door of my building, grateful for the dark to hide my red cheeks.

Dabi remains in front of the building for a moment, his head still turned my way in shock.

I close the door behind me but hurry to the window, peeking the corner of my head out just in time to catch him shaking his head and rubbing a tired hand across his eyes.

There's no way to describe the relief and warmth in my chest, when he eventually pulls out of his spot.

But just before he can drive off, I swear I feel him smirk at the window.

As if he can hear the adrenaline thrumming in my veins.

[ashtonq247]

Kaminari Denki headcannons!!

Bc it’s his bday and I love him (this will not cover his fam bc I switch between backstories with him so much that I just have no clue)

Buckle up bc this is a very long post I did not mean to get this deep lol

Let’s start with the most obvious- he makes friends easily, but I’m not just talking other students, I’m also talking the staff. This boy makes friends with the janitors and the lunch ladies and even the teachers!! He also makes friends with the security bots and pranks them a lot

This stems from him wanting ppl to like him. I think this bc of the fact that his character sheet says he likes all things “trendy” - I think he rlly wants to be known as the cool guy bc he is rlly insecure of himself

And as much as I think he is very trendy, I also think he is a big literature nerd! I believe he is more likely to listen to audio books tho, but I’m not entirely 100% sure though. He tries to keep this underwrap, but eventually he does join momo’s book club and brings completely different analysis to the table :D

He is just generally into the arts (we see this in cannon- he plays guitar, is seen drawing Aizawa, references Hemingway) so I see him as a more creative guy rather than a logically minded dude

This boy has adhd, anxiety, and dyslexia and dyscalcula (he was able to work through dyslexia bc he read so much, but still has problems with his dyscalcula) and this causes issues for him in school. He also a HUGE procrastinator. He often feels stupid and dumb bc if it (also doesn’t help that even his friends joke abt it too, but as long as it’s just a joke he shouldn’t make a big deal abt it right??)

I say he has anxiety because of the way he reacts to when he is training- always panicking and frying his brain. I think what stans between him and being rlly op is his anxiety and view of himself

Speaking of him frying his brain, I headcannon he has litchenburg figures, which if u don’t know r these rlly cool scars that look kinda like branches with what kinda looks like flowers so cool tbh, and BEFORE u say “he obviously doesn’t have them cannonly” let me just say that his quirk affects his brain cannonly!! It’s not weird for it to also affect his skin!!! I think he might have had litchenburg figures if they were more commonly known as it is a very cool thing tbh

I also think that bc his brain gets impacted by his quirk, sometimes his nerves get impacted too. This means he sometimes can’t taste food (and he doesn’t eat it when he can’t taste it, which pisses Bakugo off) and he also can’t feel things as well (I believe the class figures this out after Denki went to poor himself some tea but didn’t know the kettle was still rlly hot and so he grabbed it not knowing he was burning himself until he handed it over to someone who then dropped the pot bc it was so hot- needles to say he had to go to recovery girl that day)

He has never been to the aquarium bc as a child he had terrible control over his quirk and that made ppl nervous to put him near water (he goes as a teen with the bakusquad and is absolutely floored- his favorite creatures are of course all the sting rays, jelly fish, and electric eel- cue bakusquad comparing him to the brainless jellyfish)

He also doesn’t know how to swim till he was in middle school (once he was in better control of his quirk he went out and learned to swim on his own bc he had to learn how if he wanted to be a hero u know? He never quit got the hang of it tho)

Storms make him very energized and his already low ability to focus worsens. Prone to accidentally zapping ppl. He mostly stays in his room when storms happen bc he doesn’t want to hurt ppl/ wreck electronics on accident. He doesn’t even get to chat with friends on the phone bc he would wreck it so storms get rlly lonely :(

Also is basically a lightning rod. It hurts bc of how forceful it is, but it’s also not that big of a deal to him

Is prtty forgetful unfortunately due to all the times he fried his brain. It’s something he really tries not to think about

He probs can’t sleep very easily due to all his energy

He hates frying his brain bc it’s very hard to understand what’s going on when he does. Everything is a lot more sluggish and things are simultaneously way too much and he gets hyper sensitive and at the same time his senses are also very groggy and weird. It’s over all a bad time, but he got used to it

Whenever he fried his brain instead of being all wheyyy and thumbs upy he use to act more vegetative which rlly freaked ppl out so he eventually learned to get to where he is now when he fries his brain

Kids use to take advantage of his whey mode and do pranks on him which often got him hurt, but he never rlly felt it at first so he didn’t mind to bad. As long it was just joking and they were having fun right??

Time for happy ones!! His favorite foods (besides burgers, those r his favorite cannonly) all have some coralation with memes (speggeti tacos, mac n cheese, “chonky” milk, chicken nuggy, etc)

He is a meme lord yes

Stans pikachu (obvi)

U cannot convince me that he doesn’t paint his nails black, maybe with a little lightning bolt on his middle finger. This boy cannonly wears a choker common

He does face masks with Mina!! I believe he cares abt his looks greatly, and does beauty routines with Mina all the time. I’m constantly switching btween wether or not he owns it, or is a bit insecure and tries not to show this side to much to the boys

Why does this show not give him skinny jeans?? I mean common his entire style calls for skinny jeans. Maybe it’s Japan fashion or smth bc if it was in America he’d have skinny jeans bc it’s the trendy thing u know

Cannot cook. Can barely work the microwave. Claims unmarked food and eats it at midnight

Has a lot of weird info stored in his brain- how weather works, psychology stuff, weird facts abt bees, etc- that he learns randomly, never rlly trying to learn them but it sort of just happens u know. This frustrates Bakugo and jirou to no end bc he knows all these useless facts about how 1,200,000 mosquitos is all it takes for them to all at once drain a human of all their blood in a second, but not about how to work the pathagorean theorem

Idk why I think this (and it’s a popular headcannon too), but he knows at least 3/4 languages. It just suits him?? Bc he is a ppl person??? I don’t know??

Gets major test anxiety

Teachers either love him or hate him no in between. A lot of his elementary teachers absolutely hated him and would tear him down by calling him stupid and annoying. In middle school when he learns to control his quirk better, teachers rlly liked him- in the way that class clown trouble makers are liked by teachers. He may not excel in his class but he is a pretty funny dude.

He is constantly either underestimated or overestimated. Kaminari himself does this as well. It’s part of the issue with his hero training

Cats do not like him. They may like being petted bc if the static electricity, but when Kami pets cats he just absorbs the static- no pleasure :(((- or he accidentally has too much static electricity. If so then only tge rlly fluffy cats like him. Either case, shinsou finds a cat that likes kaminari as well and it is very cute :33

THE class prankster. Even on the teachers! The death glare Aizawa gave him on the one time prancing him worked is one kaminari will never forget (he still tries to prank him despite this lol)

Constantly teasing Bakugo as a way to press his buttons. It’s debatable on wether or not this helps bakugo’s anger issues

He is the wingman between Bakugo and Kirishima change my mind!!

Also mandatory kaminari is bisexual headcannon bc he rlly gives me those vibes. I think he doesn’t know yet that he’s bisexual, and when he thinks a fellow bro is hot he thinks he’s just admiring his bro u know. Maybe even thinks he is jealous. He does flirt with all genders tho mostly as a joke. He draws dicks as jokes but he always puts a little too much detail in them for him to rlly be straight

Can be used as a defibrillator as long as he can focus

Honestly there’s so much stuff kaminari has the potential to do with his quirk it’s a shame the manga/anime doesn’t use it

Like I rlly want to see him use his quirk in training to blow out all the lights in a building so he can use it for his advantage

That’d be badass

Also his quirk makes him very hard to be caught when their training. He can slip out of ppls grasp easily with a shock, and he also just has good reflexes in genral (I think this is cannon). Cue class 1-a running around trying and failing to catch him lol. Their best bet is to get him to fry his brain :(

He was popular in school before UA bc of his quirk and bc of how charming and easy to get a long with he is. This lead a lot of his friends to be very shallow. He didn’t rlly think about wether or not someone was trying to be his friend or not, he just liked being liked. This lead him to his whole liking trendy things, and he often felt that if he wasn’t seen as cool or funny his friends would all leave him. His whole rlly liking to talk thing caused a lot of ppl to think he was annoying at times, but he was never rlly able to lose that trait

The bakusquad was the first friend group he got rlly close too. He felt he can be himself around them and be the crackhead he was always meant to be. He still always concerned about wether they might leave him if he’s too annoying bc of anxiety but he’s getting better :)

He is a bringer of chaos and that’s part of his charm! Never dull with Denki around. He’s always doing the weirdest stuff, and ever since Mina, Kiri, and Sero, this has only doubled!

He is always calling Momo a genius (bc she is) and they are rlly good friends

Is an unofficial emo squad member (just look at his hero costume)

A sinnamon roll I’m srry but he ain’t a cinnamon roll. He has a dirty mind lol

Peepee jokes

Probably does tik tok dances I’m sorry

Nintendo fan for life

Xbox or PlayStation?- “Nintendo wut u mean”

Abbreviates so much it’s kinda hard to read,. Like if u thought I was bad this boy is soo much worse

It’s kinda ironic bc he has a very large vocabulary lol

He only uses it when he’s being sassy or very passionate

Mixes his gen z lingo with his big brain vicab to create atrocities of sentences

”bro the rise of the proletariat is lit tbh”

He is the worst to text with. He gives Bakugo aneurysms

Yeet yote to be yoted

3am shower thoughts

Unpopular opinion: i don’t think he likes weed. It probs reminds him too much of his whey mode

He’s a good strategist, but let’s the other team members think of the plans bc of insecurity, and otherwise his anxiety causes his smartness to shut down

Very good at zoning out. Sometimes he accidentally zones out so hard during class he misses the entire lesson and is only brought out bc of the school bell. Aizawa is best at snapping him out of it

Tbh I don’t think UA would be good with mental health. You’d think they’d hire a professional therapist or smth, but maybe it’s bc hero’s are so glorified ppl don’t ever think about these issues

I doubt the teachers had very good teacher training u know

We’ve mostly seen young heroes. I bet that’s bc they die so often, and if they don’t die in battle the mental health issues that stem from trauma and the media’s pressure are such an issue that it’s not uncommon for hero work to have high suicide rates

Anyway I’m starting to lose track of things thanks for coming to my ted talk I think I’ll stop here

[heavenly-roman]

Look At The Stars, Look How They Shine For You

Plot: In which Logan and Virgil both have crushes, and Roman and Patton are done with their shit

Warnings: sympathetic Deceit and Remus, crying, one (1) kiss, flirting, mild swearing, not a warning but roman is non-binary so

Pairing(s): analogical, background roceit (are u surprised?) and background intruality? dukality? moduke? idk it’s pat/remus, platonic drlamp

Word Count: 3894

if you like this, consider buying me a coffee?

Taglist: @emo-disaster @shitpost-sides

(ao3 link!!!)

this was my secret santa gift for @thepurpmann!!! very glad u enjoyed it, and thank u for giving me such a wonderful prompt :)

+++

“-and that’s when I said, listen here, buddy-” “Roman, shut up,” Virgil orders his best friend, who makes an offended noise and places their hand over their heart as if they’ve been wounded.

“I’ll have you know, it is very rude to-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Virgil waves his hand to dismiss Roman, before gesturing to a boy laughing with his friend. “Who is that? Is he new?”

“Aw, does little emo have a crush?” Roman backs away before their shorter friend can elbow them in the stomach as they anticipated. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! That’s Liam, or Levi, or Lucas, or… something like that. He’s in my first period math, super smart but kind of a show-off, if you ask me.”

“I don’t think you have any jurisdiction to call anyone a show-off, Princey,” Virgil shrugged, walking towards the boys and leaving Roman to pout.

Virgil approaches the pair, and before his anxiety talks him out of it, he asks the blonde boy, “Hey Patton, do you have the assignment rubric for art? I think I lost mine.”

“Oh yeah of course!” Patton chirps, slinging his backpack in front of him. “Just let me find it!”

Virgil smiles at him, and turns to face Liam or Levi or Lucas. “Sorry for interrupting you guys, it was just uh, important. I’m Virgil.” He rubs the back of his neck, all of his confidence drained from being so close to this new kid.

Liam or Levi or Lucas smiles, and Virgil’s breath catches in his throat. “Don’t worry about it, it was a mundane conversation that was vastly improved when you arrived. I’m Logan.”

Virgil feels his cheeks heat up as he reaches his hand out for Logan to shake. “Nice to meet you, Logan. You new here?”

“I just started here last week actually,” Logan grabs his hand and it takes everything in Virgil to not faint because wow, is he gay and this guy is strong. “Thanks for noticing. Although, I would've appreciated it more if you had noticed when I sat beside you in History class on my first day, and have been sitting there since.”

Virgil sputters, internally scolding himself for not noticing the hot guy that has apparently sat beside him for a whole week . “Oh, uh, sorry, I- that class is just really boring, you know? And I  usually fall asleep or listen to music so I don’t really, um, pay attention to the world around me. So… sorry.”

Logan begins to respond, but Patton beats him to it, pulling out the rubric for Virgil. “Okay, here it is! It’s a little crumpled by it should still be legible!”

“Thanks, Pat,” Virgil takes the sheet of paper and turns back to Logan. “I should get to class. See you in history?”

“Yeah, see you then,” and Virgil thinks he’s imagining the excited glint in Logan’s eyes. He gives a two-finger salute and walks away, completely ignoring Roman’s questions when he rejoins them.

+++

As the bell rang for lunch, Logan files out of class and beginning walking to his locker. Patton jogs to catch up, bumping his shoulder into Logan’s.

“So,” Patton starts, grinning as Logan nods at him to continue. “You and Virgil, huh? Does someone have a little crush?”

“Please, Patton,” Logan scolds, trying to ignore his flushing cheeks. “I just met Virgil today, there is no feasible way-”

“Logan.”

“Alright, I suppose I could be attracted to him,” Logan concedes, hiding his face in his locker to avoid Patton’s teasing gaze. When he emerges from his locker, money in hand to buy lunch, Patton’s mischievous smile greets him, and rightfully so, Logan becomes concerned. The blonde boy links his arm through Logan’s and begins marching them through the hall.

“Well, it’s a great thing that we’re going to have lunch with him and Roman then, isn’t it?” Patton smiles as Logan sputters, ignoring the taller teen’s protests and pulling him along towards the cafeteria. Logan spends their time in line trying to convince his friend to rethink his sabotage plan.

“Patton, this is a bad idea. I just acknowledged my possible feelings for him-”

“Hi Virgil, mind if Logan and I sit with you?”

“Uh, yeah, go ahead,” Virgil gestures for them to sit down. “Roman is just buying their lunch, they’ll be here soon.”

Logan nods stiffly and begins eating his pizza, silently cursing himself for becoming friends with Patton and letting him lead him into this situation. There are a few moments of awkward silence before Virgil speaks up.

“Hey, Logan?”

Logan looks up, wiping his mouth and nodding for Virgil to continue.

“Roman doesn’t know your name, so do you think-”

“You can call me many different names that begin with the letter L?” Logan raises his eyebrow.

“Please?”

“It would be my honour to mess with your friend.”

“A man after my own heart,” Virgil punctuates his sentence by placing his hand on his chest and wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. Logan ducks his head down to hide his blush from the two men he’s sitting with.

It’s then that Roman makes a reappearance, tray in hand, talking to a taller boy with a smirk on his face. The boy walks away and Virgil has to snap his fingers in his friends face to gain their attention.

“Hello? Earth to Roman?” He calls, chuckling at Roman’s love struck face. They shake their head to clear their mind and sit down to join the three other teens.

“Roman, this is Liam,” Virgil introduces, shooting a wink to Logan, who might as well just die right here.

“Pleasure to formally meet you, Liam,” Roman says, taking Logan’s hand to shake. “Say, have you met Dee?”

“Dee?” Logan asks. “Is that the person you were just talking to?”

“I was just talking to him, yes. Isn’t my boyfriend so cute?”

“He’s not your boyfriend, Ro,” Virgil corrects, stabbing his salad with a fork to emphasize his point.

“Not yet, but if he keeps flirting with me like that? I’ll force him to date me.”

“I’m sure there’s a nicer way for you to ask him out,” Patton playfully scolds. He elbows Logan under the table, to which Logan sends him a glare he can only hope is as subtle as he thinks.

“Nah, I think they’re gonna have to use force,” Virgil shrugs. “What do you think, Levi?”

“Levi?” Comes Roman’s confused whisper.

Logan suppresses a laugh and answers, “I don’t think Dee would flirt with you if he had no interest in you, Roman.”

Roman sends Virgil a look that Logan can’t define, and responds, “Thank you! Someone who has some common sense at this table!”

Patton pretends to be offended, while Virgil chooses to throw a cherry tomato at Roman’s face.

“I’m perfectly sensible, thank you very much,” Virgil picks up another tomato and laughs when Roman protects their face.

“If you’re so sensible, why haven’t you asked out-”

“Because Remus has a crush on Patton!” Virgil quickly interrupts.

Logan feels his heart sink. It’s foolish to think that Virgil could have been interested in him. Virgil is hot, funny, snarky, and in no way attracted to the nerd who sits beside him in history class. His breathing grows heavy and there’s a lump in his throat. Tears sting his eyes as he tries to control himself. How could he have been so stupid? And why on Earth is he so upset?

“-knew Remus has a crush on him, it’s very obvious Virgil. Almost as obvious as your crush on-”

“If you’ll all excuse me,” Logan whispers, his voice not able to go any louder in fear of crying in the very open cafeteria. He clambers out of his seat and speedwalks to the bathroom, doing his best to not draw attention to himself. He hears a Logan, wait! From Virgil, followed by a Logan? From Roman, and he can’t bring himself to laugh.

The bathroom is empty, luckily for him, but he throws himself into a stall anyway. He locks the door and takes off his glasses, furiously rubbing at his eyes to shoo away the tears. He thanks himself for having the common sense to have taken his things with him, and chugs half of his water bottle. He does not want a dehydration headache for the rest of the day.

Logan lets himself cry for a minute or two, before he hears the bathroom door open. Upon instinct, he holds his breath and pulls his legs up onto the toilet seat to hide any evidence that he’s there. He’s relieved to see an unfamiliar pair of paint splattered combat boots - that is, until the owner of said boots calls out into the almost empty bathroom, “uh, Logan?”

Logan silently curses - he figures one of the others sent this person in to talk to him, and from the impatient tapping of their boot, he doesn’t think they’ll be leaving anytime soon. He slides his feet off of the toilet seat and stands up, placing his glasses back on his face and takes a deep breath. He opens the stall door, and staring back at him is - Roman? No, a clone of Roman. A much edgier, slightly scarier, more facial hair having, clone.

“They were right, you are cute,” Clone said, looking Logan up and down. They sat against the wall and patted the spot next to them, signalling Logan to sit. Once he did, Clone spoke up. “My name is Remus, I’m Roman’s twin brother.”

“You’re the one that has a crush on Patton?” Logan asked, incredulously. “But you’re…”

“Scary?” Remus fills in, and Logan nods, albeit a little hesitantly. “I get that a lot, don’t worry. Roman will tell you that I’m terrifying, but that’s just because I've pushed them down the stairs one too many times.”

Logan laughs and says, “Well, I think Roman is obligated to be scared of you.”

“You’re right,” Remus sighs. They sit in a comfortable silence as Logan calms his breathing.

“You know,” Remus starts, “I’m not gonna make you talk about whatever made you so upset that you had to run to the bathroom and cry, just know that me, and the others, we’re all here for you, okay? Life sucks sometimes, and all that we can do is be there for each other.”

“Thank you, Remus. I really appreciate it,” Logan stands as the bell rings for third period. “You coming?”

“I’m always fashionably late to class,” Remus leans back against the wall and closes his eyes. “I think if I showed up on time, my teachers would send me to the nurse.”

Logan nods and begins to leave the bathroom, but not before saying, “oh and Remus? Patton’s face lit up when Virgil said you have a crush on him.”

Logan closed the door on Remus’ sputtering, laughing to himself and feeling slightly better.

+++

Virgil repeatedly hits Roman with his sketchbook while they walk him to art class. “I still can’t believe that you would try to tell Logan that I like him!”

“Well I still can’t believe that you tried to trick me with his name!” Roman retorts, catching the book in their hand and throwing it back at Virgil.

“You’re the one that didn’t know his name in the first place.”

“You’re the one that didn’t know he was in your class, smartass.”

Virgil rolls his eyes and waves goodbye to Roman, walking into class and sitting in between Patton and Dee.

“So Dee,” Virgil starts, gaining the boys attention. “When are you planning to officially ask out Roman?”

“I’d probably say the same time you’re planning on officially asking out Logan,” Patton cuts in, innocently shrugging his shoulders.

“I’ve known him for all of one day, Pat.”

“And yet you’re completely infatuated with him.”

“Excuse me, but-“

“Guys?” Dee tries, gaining their attention. “Could you not fight in the middle of class? I don’t think detention would be very ideal for any of us.”

The two boys mumble out their apologies, before Patton turns to Dee. “So when are you asking Roman out?”

Dee flushes and tugs his yellow beanie down over his forehead, “I was thinking of asking them to go with me to the Winter Formal. As a date.”

Patton squeals and Virgil nods approvingly.

“Well, as long as you don’t hurt them, I don’t care what you do.” He leans in close, voice barely above a whisper as he asks, “You know what I did to the last person that broke their heart?”

“Nothing, because you’re a good person and you wouldn’t want to hurt anyone?” Dee suggests.

“You wish, Anderson.”

Dee goes to respond, but their teacher begins class, and Virgil sighs a breath of relief. His relief, however, is lived for around three minutes, before their teacher tells them to use the period to finish their current assignment.

“So,” Patton whispers, and Virgil wishes he could disappear so he doesn’t have to have this conversation. “You planning of asking Logan to the Winter Formal?”

“No,” He whispers back, ignoring Patton’s sad expression.

“Why not?”

“Because,” his sentence is interrupted by their teacher shushing them, and reminding them to get back to work. He continues, whispering now, “ Because I just met him, and I have no clue if he even likes me back.”

“He does, Virgil. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“He says no, we ruin our friendship-“

“The friendship you’ve had for a day?”

“Shut up,” Virgil grumbles, shoving Patton. “It would make everything awkward.”

“More awkward than it is now?” Patton raises his hands in surrender. “If you’d rather be two pining idiots-“

“Hey!”

“-that’s fine by me. But when you decide to act on your feelings? Let me know, and I’ll be there to help.”

+++

Fourth period comes, and Logan finds himself dreading it - he’ll have to face Virgil, and he does not want to explain why he ran off during lunch. He elects to just keep his headphones in and hopefully Virgil will ignore him like he has for the past week.

“Hey, Logan?”

Virgil does not ignore him.

“Uh, yeah, what’s up?” Logan takes out his headphones and cringes at his use of slang. Virgil half smiles and sits down beside him.

“You doing okay?” He asks, and Logan can see the concern in his eyes, and damn it, why does he have to be cute and nice?

“Yes, I am perfectly alright, Virgil. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Virgil bumps their shoulders, before turning to look Logan in the eyes. “Listen, I’m not gonna make you tell me-“

“I already heard that all from Remus, but thank you. I really appreciate it,” Logan chuckles. He turns his attention to the teacher as he announces that he’s handing back tests. He looks over, seeing Virgil pale at the announcement.

Logan knows he didn’t do this test - all of his work from his previous school will be counted up and he’ll continue from the new unit - yet he can’t help but feel dread in the pit of his stomach as the teacher places Virgil’s test on his desk, face down.

Virgil peeks at the top corner of his test and swears under his breath. He’s hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, and Logan swear he can hear him mutter, “stupid, stupid, stupid,” over and over again.

“Everything, uh, gucci, Virgil?”

Virgil lets outs humourless chuckle. “Uh, yeah, yeah I’m- I’m good, yeah.”

“May I see your test?”

Virgil hesitantly hands over the paper, burying his head in his hands. Logan flips it over and inhales a sharp breath through his teeth. At the top of the page, in large, red numbers, it says 52%, followed by see me after class .

“Virgil?” Logan asks. The hum he gets in response urges him to continue. “Do you need tutoring?”

“Oh, um,” Virgil rubs the back of his neck. “I - I don’t know about that.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know that right?”

“Yeah, sure,” but the glossiness of his eyes told Logan a different story.

“How about this - I’ll come over and help you with our homework, and we can think of it as a study group. We’re both learning, yeah?” Logan suggests.

“Yeah,” Virgil nods, a small smile creeping its way back onto his face. “Thanks, Logan.”

“Anything for a friend.”

+++

“So the French Revolution-“

“Which one?”

“Virgil-“

“Sorry, sorry, I just - I don’t know why we’re learning all of this? It seems… unnecessary.”

“Why don’t we take a break?” Logan stands from the desk chair and heads to the door. “We will resume in ten minutes.”

Virgil nods and pulls out his phone as Logan leaves, presumably to go to the bathroom. He scrolls through his notifications - a few from Tumblr, Instagram, until a text from Roman pops up.

From: Princey!!

          VIRGIL VIRGIL VIRGIL

To: Princey!!

          yes roman?

From: Princey!!

          DEE ASKED ME TO THE WINTER FORMAL

         AS A DATE

         WERE GOING ON A DATE

To: Princey!!

          that’s awesome!! glad he finally smartened up

From: Princey!!

          Me too!!!!!!! :)))!!!

         Now you just have to smarten up and ask out Logan and we can go on a triple date!!

To: Princey!!

          triple?

From: Princey!!

          Remus asked Patton out yesterday!!!!

Virgil decided not to answer just ask Logan walked back in. The latter checked his watch. “Still have six minutes left of our break, it seems.”

“Yeah,” Virgil mumbles. At Logan’s concerned look, he elaborated. “Dee finally asked Roman out. They’re going to the Winter Formal together.”

“Thank heavens,” Logan sighs, slumping down into his chair. “If I hear Roman complaining about how Dee won’t ask them out one more time …”

“And, uh… Remus is going with Patton.”

“Really? I’m surprised he didn’t chicken out,” Logan says, shrugging. “So, that just leaves you and me, right?”

“Yeah, um, we’re the only two without…” Virgil’s eyes flick down to Logan’s lips, and he truly hopes that his friend is as oblivious as he says. He swallows hard, adding,  “Without dates.”

“So the logical thing would be to go with each other.”

And Virgil is glad he didn’t choose to take a drink at that moment. His face goes red and he stammers out, “You… you want to go, uh, together? As-“

“As friends, yes. I’m sure it would make for a less… lonely night.” Logan looks unsure, “that is, of course, if you’re not planning on asking someone else.”

“I’m not!” Virgil answers too quickly. “I’m… I’m not.”

“Satisfactory. I suppose we should coordinate, then. What’s your favourite colour?”

+++

“As friends?”

“As friends,” Virgil sighs, adjusting his backpack straps as he walks with Roman. “But he still wants to match, so I’m here to find a blue tux and a purple tie, and honestly, is blue really my colour?”

“Virgil, calm down,” Roman pauses their walking, thankful that the mall isn’t very crowded. “You’re getting worked up. Blue will look lovely on you, I promise. Is he wearing the same thing?”

Virgil takes a deep breath and opens his eyes that he didn’t know he closed. “No, uh, he’s getting a purple suit and blue tie.”

Roman’s gasp would’ve scared Virgil, had he not seen the excitement in his friends' eyes. “You’re wearing each others colours? Virgil that is truly-“

“Say adorable and you’re dead.”

“-adorable.”

“And now I’m shopping without you,” Virgil begins walking away, until Roman catches up to him and reminds him which of the two of them has style, and which one wears a hoodie everyday.

They spend the afternoon going from suit shop to suit shop, only getting mildly distracted when Roman sees a dress they just had to try on.

Finally, they find the perfect suit - navy blue, and very subtly pinstriped. Along with that, Virgil buys a purple tie, matching almost perfectly to the patches on his hoodie.

He’s as ready as he’ll ever be.

+++

Logan sharply knocks three times, and stands back, waiting for the door to open.

“Oh, hello Logan!” Says Virgil’s mother. “Come in, come in, Virgil is almost ready.”

Logan nods, accepting the invitation. He stands in the doorway, tapping his foot. He pats his pocket, and soon after all his worries come to the front of his head. What if he hates it? What if it’s inappropriate for a school dance? What if-

“Logan?” Virgil is right in front of Logan, waving his hand in his face. “You alright?”

“Yes, I’m…” Logan takes the opportunity to finally look at Virgil - his blue suit fitted perfectly around his shoulder, his white shirt contrasting perfectly with his pale skin. Logan feels his mouth go dry, because damn is he gay . “...fine.”

Virgil smirks, “you sure about that?”

“Yes, I am perfectly alright.” Logan clears his throat, “you look… very handsome.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Virgil flushes. “You look great, too.”

“Thank you,” Logan smiles.

“Shall we go?”

“Oh, um, actually,” Logan pulls the small box from his pocket. “I got you something.”

Virgil takes the box, the look of surprise on his face morphing into excitement. He pulls out the handkerchief, black with constellations printed on it. “Logan, this is… beautiful. Thank you.”

“Of course. You spoke about how fascinated you were by the stars and I saw it and thought of you, so...” he pulls out a second handkerchief. “I got one for myself, as well. Now we are truly matching.”

Virgil fiddles with the handkerchief and eventually manages to fit it into his pocket. “Now, shall we go?”

“Let’s.”

+++

The venue is decorated with blues and silvers, snowflakes at every table and white Christmas lights strung on the ceiling.

The group found table 16 and sat down with their respective dates.

“So, Logan,” starts Roman. “How’re you enjoying your first official dance at Sanders High?”

“I suppose it’s satisfactory. Though I’m sure the food will not be to my liking,” Logan looks at Virgil and mutters, “my date is quite nice, however.”

The flush on Virgil’s face is enough to tell Logan that he’d heard. “It’s never good, by the way,” he answers.

The DJ turns on a slow song, and Virgil proposes, “Do you want to dance?”

“It would be my honour.”

The two make their way to the dance floor, holding hands and sufficiently blushing. Virgil holds onto Logan’s waist as Logan moves his hands to Virgil’s shoulders. They sway for a short while until Patton “accidentally” pushes them closer together.

Chest to chest, Logan feels his heart figuratively pounding out of his chest. He looks up at Virgil and his partner smiles, and Logan is overwhelmed. He leans up.

He leans up and kisses him.

Virgil, to his credit, is only surprised for about three and a half seconds before he kisses back. His hands move from Logan’s waist to his cheeks, and he pulls him in impossibly closer.

They break apart when the song ends, and pretend to ignore the cheering from their friends. Slowly, Virgil leans down again for a soft, shorter kiss.

“So,” Virgil says.

“So,” Logan replies.

“What do you say we go on a real date, hmm?”

“You mean going to a school dance as friends and then kissing halfway through doesn’t count as a real date?” Logan chuckles, “and here I thought I’d been doing it correctly.”

“You’re a dork.”

“Your dork.”

“Yeah, I guess you are mine.”

[rigb0ner]

Okay, you guys asked for it! I hope you enjoy reading! :)

***

In order for Lance and Shiro to make it out alive from the Blade of Marmora trials, they have only two choices:

1. to fuck

or

2. to fight

However, Lance doesn't want to fight, and Shiro doesn't want to fuck.

***

a.k.a. an AU where Lance accompanies Shiro to the Blade of Marmora instead of Keith, and there is no "Knowledge or death" but a choice to "Fuck or fight".

***

Shiro's behavior has been rather... aggressive, especially towards Lance in the last few days. Neither of the two could conclude the reason why though. However, Lance had a few ideas. He knew he was annoying at times. The groans he often earned from his teammates where more than enough proof, but he was harmless. Lance was the Blue Paladin, the heart of Voltron. He was a huge asset to the team, not because he had the ability to easily lift their spirits with his silliness and contagious smile, but because he cared. He valued his teammates' concerns over his own. Yes, he was arrogant, but he was also, and mostly, considerate.

But, for some reason, he wasn't able to lift everyone's spirits. He liked to think that he had a specific bond with each of his teammates, even Keith. Aside from all the daily bickering over very ridiculous topics, there was mutual fondness and respect between them both. However, it was Shiro who gave him the darkest of glares and the most disgusted of sighs. It hurt, to think that someone whom he deeply admired since he first enlisted in the Garrison, would treat him so condescendingly. He was his hero, and it killed Lance to be scorned so often by him, for reasons unknown. But Lance wasn't an idiot. He knew when to stop himself from escalating situations from bad to worse.

And now, with no one else to be by Shiro's side, due to having their own tasks that were specifically correlated with their lions, Lance would stand by his leader. And he would be there for him, no matter how difficult the situation, to help him, and maybe, to prove himself to Shiro that he wasn't careless, and that he actually gave a shit. But he could tell by the look on Shiro's face that he was not at all excited to have him as his only choice. The Blue Paladin did well to resist the urge to scoff and cross his arms in irritation, and stood tall, prepared to begin for their mission.

***

Lance and Shiro had learned that the Blade of Marmora were a secretive rebel group fighting against the Galra Empire, and the only way they could form an alliance was to attempt several trials to become members to fight along side each other when it was time for battle. The two Paladins would endure intense battles in each of the several rooms, together. They would be stripped from their Paladin uniforms, and any bayard would be confiscated.

Lance knew bringing their personal weapons was forbidden, but he thought he'd bring his bayard just in case. However, like Shiro, he was given a new suit, as well as a new weapon. Lance's hand now tightened around the tang of his blade—an item that felt so foreign in his hand—feeling his palms sweating as his legs trembled. This was definitely not his usual weapon of choice. It didn't feel right. But the Blue Paladin watched Shiro in awe, standing in place as his leader suddenly let out a battle cry, then clashed his blade with their opponent's. He moved swiftly, dodged quickly, and stabbed mercilessly, leading them to the next chamber. Lance couldn't feel more useless. To his amazement, however, Shiro clearly knew what he was doing, taking down each opponent with the intention to succeed, with or without Lance. The Blue Paladin felt pathetic to say the least.

But as they continued to press onward from each room prior to the next, Lance had noticed that their opponents grew more numerous. Shiro, now bruised and bloody, slowly losing his strength and breath, was struggling to fight, as their opponents came at them in full force. Lance had to do something. He needed to help. But what could he, an inexperienced fighter, do to help his leader? It was obvious that he couldn't just stand there and watch. So, with a firm grip around his weapon, Lance breathed in shakily, suddenly bracing himself, then ran fast, and lunged forward—although clumsily—at their opponent with his blade, hearing Shiro immediately shout his name. Lance ignored him, or perhaps, he didn't hear. However, his weapon clashed with his opponent's, steel scraping against each other as their blades collided.

Despite Shiro's strength receding, he continued to slice and kick with all the might he had left, watching Lance from his peripheral vision as his opponent's limp body fell to the floor. His heart was racing with adrenaline as he heaved a heavy breath. But then the sound of a painful hiss caught Shiro's attention as his face turned completely towards Lance's direction. The sight of blood oozing from his partner's shoulder made him run fast, stabbing the opponents’ abdomens without hesitation. When he withdrew his blade he stared at Lance with the slightest bit of concern before scowling. "Why did you interfere?" he questioned breathlessly, although raising his voice. 

Lance held his painful shoulder upright, not appreciating Shiro's tone and glare whatsoever. He inhaled a sharp breath and pumped up his chest defiantly, brows narrowing in irritation. "Stop treating me like I'm your bitch," he hissed, slightly surprising himself from the sudden outburst. "What kind of question is that? Did you just expect me to stand there and watch you get hurt? Whether you want me here or not, I want to help you! Why is that such a problem? You can't die on us!"

"Watch your tone," Shiro retorted, scowling at Lance's disobedience. "I can take care of myself!" he added. Lance scoffed, "Yeah. Of course you can." He dared to give Shiro the most annoyed look before breaking eye contact, walking towards the next chamber as the doors slid open.

So stubborn, they thought.

***

This next chamber they entered, Lance noticed, was smaller, unlike the previous ones. There was another thing his eyes caught sight of; a bed, in the middle of the empty room. It was the strangest thing he’d seen since they entered the Blade’s headquarters. The uneasiness in his stomach only grew when the sudden flash of a hologram appeared in front of them, revealing the face of Kolivan, the leader of the Blade of Marmora. He then spoke, "You have made it to the final trial, upon which you have succeeded on the previous challenges. But, for this last trial, however, you have two choices to make."

"What are they?" Lance questioned anxiously, not quite understanding the small curve forming on Kolivan's lips as he spoke. 

"You two must choose to fight, or to bond," Kolivan explained. 

"Wait," said the Blue Paladin, "what do you mean 'to bond'?"

Shiro's expression looked just as perplexed, and then there was a slight pause, before Kolivan elaborated. "You must join together to breed. If not, you must fight each other. There is no other option."

Lance gawked at Shiro in horror, beyond bewildered.

No.

No way.

No freaking way is this happening!

I don't want to fight, but I...

"Make a choice," Kolivan said, before the hologram subsequently disappeared. Lance couldn't help but quiver in fear, feeling unbelievably gawky as he stood subconsciously close next to Shiro, hearing the doors close from behind them. How ridiculous he'd felt.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

What do we do?

"Lance," Shiro spoke suddenly in a deep tone, earning the Blue Paladin's attention, who’d hesitated before responding nervously.

"Yeah, Shiro?"

Oh my god! Does he actually want to do this with me? 

"Are you ready?"

Holy shit!

"U-um... actually, I... I've never done this before," Lance admitted bashfully, watching Shiro narrow his brows in response.

"What do you mean? Of course you have. Did you forget about all the battles we've been through? Or, perhaps, our training?" Shiro questioned.

The Blue Paladin's eyes widened, realizing they were clearly not on the same page. "Wait. Shiro... do you actually want to fight me?" he asked in an obviously frightened tone.

Shiro laughed. "Well, I'm certainly not going to fuck you."

Lance couldn't ignore the unsettling feeling in his chest as his leader said those anxiety-inducing words. "But, I... I don't want to fight!" he exclaimed, watching Shiro draw out his blade. 

"What are you suggesting?" his leader questioned in a warning tone, watching him squirm in place. The Blue Paladin was clearly contemplating on what to say, but he couldn't form any words. 

Don't say it, you idiot!

He doesn't want to hear it! 

Shiro cocked a brow, feeling impatient as his weapon was now pointing directly towards the Blue Paladin. "Well?"

"Please, Shiro," Lance begged, arms surrendering over his chest as the tip of the blade brushed against his palm. "Don't. I don't want to fight."

Backing away slowly from his leader, his hand tightening around the tang of his own blade, completely unwilling to use it against Shiro. He couldn't. Not when he was aware of his leader's capability to take him down so easily. He could certainly try, though, but he thought it was pointless. Shiro scoffed, but oddly wore a small smirk on his face. His unusual behavior was all too concerning for the Blue Paladin. "Come on, Lance," he began. "Let's put your training to the test."

But Lance looked troubled, pedaling back once again as Shiro slowly stepped forward. "I'm not going to fight you, Shiro," he stated. "I won't!"

The smirk on his leader's face suddenly faltered, staring at the boy's frightened but immune expression, which was pleading him to reconsider. Lance clearly wasn't going to quit, and it only pissed Shiro off. But Lance stayed still, watching the older Paladin come closer, slowly lowering his outstretched hand in front of him. However, the young Paladin couldn't exactly pinpoint the intention behind his leader's fervent stare. Whatever it was, though, Lance couldn't help but feel excited, and cautious, as Shiro walked into his personal space, hand tightening around the weapon next to his thigh. Then, Lance felt a hand cup his chin — Shiro's dark gray eyes never leaving his blue ones. "You're not a cadet anymore, Lance. You're a Paladin of Voltron, a defender of the universe. And as such, it is your job to protect the innocent," his leader explained, leaning in close to the boy's face. "Isn't that right? Don't you want to protect the ones you love?"

Lance simply nodded, feeling desperate and confused, although entranced by Shiro's thumb caressing his lips, which trembled slightly from the contact. "For someone with so much potential, your carelessness overwhelms it all. I just can't seem to get any peace and quiet with you around." The Black Paladin sighed subsequently, but in an eerily relieved kind of way that Lance didn't understand.

"You don't mean that," the younger Paladin retorted, voice shaking. "I know that I can be irritating at times, but Shiro, I'm more than that! You know that it's..."

"That's enough already!" Shiro interrupted, suddenly shoving Lance away, causing him to trip on his feet and fall on his back.

***

WIP #2: Sharpshooter

Lance experiences his very first blowjob with the Captain of the IGF-Atlas—Takashi Shirogane—also known as his longtime hero and crush ever since he enlisted in the Galaxy Garrison.

***

“Good morning, Cadet.”

Lance furrowed his brows in confusion, turning his head to see—Commander Iverson, and, oh, some things just never change.

“Good morning, Sir,” he cleared his throat, “but, with all due respect, it’s Lieutenant, now.”

Commander Iverson chuckled. “Indeed. How you’ve grown.”

Lance nodded. “Yes. I’d say so.”

A sudden tension filled the air.

”Sir?”

“I... um, I believe I owe you an apology.”

Lance pretended not to understand. After all, he’d hoped this moment would come. He knew that he’d prove himself eventually.

“What for, Sir?”

”For not seeing your greatness within.”

Now, that—that wasn’t what Lance was expecting to hear. Those exact words... he’d heard them before, but not like this. It was strange, to say the least. But nevertheless, it flattered him. And yet, he didn’t care. Commander Iverson never cared, and Lance was sure those words were meaningless.

But... it’s all in the past, now. Lance knew that he couldn’t please everybody. Although, having other people’s respect, especially from those who doubted him, was, admittedly, very satisfying. That was all he ever wanted—besides flying.

Lance broke the silence. “It’s fine, Sir. I know that my behavior in the past wasn’t the best, but, as you can see, I am pretty great now.“

Commander Iverson cleared his throat. “You are. Thank you for your service, Lance.”

The Lieutenant offered a smiled in response. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”

Despite your lack of faith.

“Anyway, what are my duties for today, Commander?”

”Oh, well, perhaps you can start by checking inventory.”

”Okay.”

“Actually, before you do that, Lieutenant McClain...”

“Yes?”

“Captain Shirogane wants to see you.”

***

He was stalling himself...

Lance wasn’t really sure why, but all he knew was that he was actually nervous to see his Captain. In fact, he was taking all the precious time in the world, with the intent of distracting himself by whatever means necessary.

And, truth be told, he felt absolutely ridiculous.

The Lieutenant hadn’t realized how tight his grip around the clipboard was. He was clutching it for dear life, but why?

Lance wandered around the building, uncertain of where he was going, passing by instructors and other commanding officers—until, he reached an empty corridor. It was slightly dim, and quiet. Good. He needed a moment to himself.

The Lieutenant sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. His mind was suddenly flooding with dreadful thoughts:

Why am I hiding? We’ve been dating for a few weeks now! But...

“God,” he muttered under his breath, resting his head back against the wall, “I’m so pathetic.”

And that’s when he realized, it had been a while since they’ve communicated, which was understandable, considering the fact that they’ve both been very busy with their own individual assignments. Lance missed him, of course. Lance rarely got to see the Captain during the day.

They didn’t always get to see each other everyday, but sometimes they were given the chance to share a few minutes of conversation with each other—mostly during lunch, and meetings, however.

But now, Shiro had asked to see Lance personally. And, despite what people may think of him, Lance wasn’t such a fool as certain people claimed. He’d noticed the expression on Shiro’s face the last few times they’ve interacted, and it sent shivers down his spine. Although, his Captain was very clever at covering it up with that polite and handsome smile. It was the look of lust. That was definitely the look Shiro giving him. Lance knew it because he’d been staring at him the same way.

Granted, again, they’ve only been dating for a few weeks, and their busy schedules gave them less time to communicate and spend time together, even when they were both free. But make no mistake, there was clearly tension between the two of them whenever they were in the same room, and Lance liked it, but he also feared it because of how powerful Shiro’s presence was whenever he entered the room. Everybody would stand immediately in respect, whether Shiro expected it or not. And Lance wasn’t surprised, but he didn’t know what to think. He loved his Captain’s intimating side, but at the same time, he feared it.

***

And... that’s all I’ve got, if it weren’t for my damn writer’s block!!! :’(

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed reading the progress of these fics because I honestly enjoyed writing them. I would have loved to finish them but I just can’t anymore... it sucks, I know, but that’s how it is! I love you all <333

[in-tua-deep]

Your TUA au with five and soft Luther are giving me life tbh. I honestly love it so so much. Would you think of doing something with them all being there for vanya when her powers start coming out again (however that happens) but because they’re all together as a family the apocalypse never happens cause they’re there for her and help her and yeah. Idk I just feel like your au could have such a happy ending. With vanya and klaus able to grow their powers in safety and with love and support 💕💕

asdfsgdDFSGH thank u i didn’t realize the responsible luther au would be as popular as it got?? sometimes i make a post and am just surprised by how many people seem to like them lmao

(other responsible luther au things can be found here, here, and here)

not exactly a snippet like last time but here’s my stream of consciousness rambling style y’all should be used to at this point wheyy >;3c (except of course I end up doing a snippet in the middle of the stream of consciousness so BEST OF BOTH WORLDS I GUESS)

So you have Five, who has been doing a lot of research into psychology things since he’s, you know, seeing a psychologist. So he’s interested, and at a family dinner he asks Vanya what her medication is for. Of course, she responds that it’s for anxiety which is usually where the conversation ends.

Except Five wants to know what it is and what dosage she’s taking, and she tells him. And he’s either “That’s not an anxiety medication” or “That’s a dose large enough to take down an elephant I’m pretty sure” or hey maybe Vanya even frowns and is like “Actually you know what? I don’t know.”

and Vanya in the show says she used to see a therapist, so maybe she’s still seeing them? Except Five insists that clearly something is wrong, and demands she switch to the place where Five goes. Vanya is starting to get an inkling that something is wrong, so she decides to go off her meds. 

Not cold turkey - but she goes off them regardless. And she feels… better. She feels more happy, like she’s more connected with life. Maybe she decides, with her new therapist, to switch to a different medication that’s actually for anxiety after her therapist looks at her current prescription with such absolute bewilderment because what the fuck and immediately is like “Yeah okay something is super weird here’s a new prescription and we’ll see if you feel less of the emotional numbness that you’ve been describing to be.”

So Vanya goes off them, and odd things start happening. But it’s not until she’s in Luther’s apartment and they’re eating dinner and Diego just made a stupid comment and the TV is going in the background and suddenly everything just starts shaking and Vanya is so surprised she snaps out of her anger and everything goes still and they’re all just like ????????

Meanwhile Luther is running on like, two hours of sleep because he has an early shift at the garage today and Five got tangled in the blankets again and woke up screaming and generally inconsolable so he’s just like. Done. He picks up the cutlery that fell on the ground when the table shook and is like “I don’t care who was responsible for that, please don’t do it again or at least not during dinner. Also Diego I saw you draw that knife you know my rules about weapons at the table. And in my home.”

and Vanya is just looking at her hands all wide-eyed like, “Was that me?? What the FUCK guys.”

“No swearing at the table.” Luther automatically corrects her.

“Well I guess we figured out what the fuck was up with your meds.” Five comments, reaching over to steal some potatoes off of Luther’s plate. 

“Language, Five.” Luther doesn’t comment on the theft of his food, instead just scooting his plate closer to Five’s because hey at least it’s getting the kid to eat something. 

“Why am I the only one freaking out about this?” Vanya sounds very stressed out right now, and the knives and forks rattle ominously.

“Actually I’m pretty freaked out?” Diego interjects, raising a hand. “Like, what? You had powers this whole time? When the fuck did you start taking those meds then?”

Klaus shrugs. “Honestly at this point do you really think our lives could get any fucking weirder? Shouldn’t we have been more surprised that Vanya didn’t have powers?”

Luther sighs deeply. “I’m going to actually buy a swear jar.” He tells the ceiling very seriously, “Because clearly this family cannot go one minute without swearing in front of a child.”

“I’m not a baby.” Five scowls, punching Luther in the arm which does exactly nothing except make Five feel a little better. 

“Yeah Luther, he’s not a baby.” Klaus sticks his tongue out at Luther and reaches out to ruffle Five’s hair. Five only allows it because Klaus just took his side.

“I don’t really remember a time when I wasn’t taking them.” Vanya attempts to get the conversation back on track. 

“I feel like giving toddlers anxiety medication isn’t something that’s generally done.” Five point out mildly, mercifully actually addressing the issue which would be good except he sounds very unconcerned and is still stealing the rest of Luther’s potatoes. Luther, for his part, just gets up and goes into the kitchen to get himself more because this is one dinner battle he’s not picking.

“So what? Dad just suppressed my powers?” Vanya asks.

“Why not?” Five shrugs, “He’s done some other seriously fucked up shit I don’t see why he’d draw the lines at drugging one of us.”

“I mean he for sure didn’t really care that I was drugging myself.” Klaus points out, “He definitely knew about it, right? Like I was seriously fucked up for the majority of our formative years or whatever.”

There’s some rattling from the kitchen.

“So you’re saying that if Vanya has powers, Dad knows about them?” Diego asks, waving a knife in the air that Luther definitely expressly forbid from appearing at his table. 

“But why would he mess with my powers?” Vanya asks, very confused. “Maybe they’re dangerous?”

Diego snorts, “More dangerous than Ben’s?”

“Ben takes issue with that!” Klaus protests.

“No he doesn’t.” Five rolls his eyes, because Five has gotten alarmingly good at figuring out when Klaus was accurately reporting their deceased sibling’s comments. 

“Maybe it was for my own safety.” Vanya says, looking doubtful but willing to play devil’s advocate.

“When the fuck did Dad care about our personal safety?” Klaus asks incredulously, and Vanya nods to concede the point easily enough.

“Shout out to when Dad threw me off the roof.” Five mutters before shoveling more potatoes in his mouth.

“OKAY.” Luther says, walking back from the kitchen. “We are going to address that very concerning comment later Five, don’t think we won’t. And also - ” He takes the opportunity to slam a jar on the table which has a piece of paper with ‘swear jar’ hastily taped to it. “ - I am 100% serious about no swearing at least at mealtimes if nothing else.”

“God Luther, you’re such a stick in the mud.” Klaus whines loudly and Diego is pulling such an offended face at the sight of the swear jar that Luther is tempted to tell him his face is going to stick like that if he isn’t careful.

“Guys!” Vanya exclaims, actually looking a little frustrated. “Can we get back to the subject of my mystery powers, please? This is seriously stressing me out.”

“You know,” Five says thoughtfully, “I bet Dad has some journals or something - ”

“No.” Luther vetoes immediately. “Absolutely not.”

“You didn’t even let me finish my thought!” Five protests.

“Dad has genuinely sent armed gunmen to kidnap you.” Luther points out, putting his foot down on the issue. “I just got our door fixed from the last time he decided you were the antichrist or whatever. You are not getting within a mile of him if I can help it.”

“But he is the antichrist.” Klaus grins widely, wiggling his fingers at Five and making the kid roll his eyes. 

“Only on alternating Tuesdays.” Luther says gravely, sparking a laugh out of Klaus.

“It’s still kind of weird that Luther has a sense of humor now.” Diego says, looking at Vanya who just has her face in her hands. She has given up on getting this family to actually stay on topic. It’s like herding cats.

“Aww Vanya,” Klaus coos, “It’s okay. I know figuring out you have a new power is pretty freaky - ” And Klaus would know, since getting sober his powers have been somewhat alarming in their progression. But at least sometimes they can talk to Ben, now? “ - and you can always train with me and Benny boy!”

“Really?” Vanya sniffles.

“No one is practicing anything in my apartment.” Luther says, aggrieved. “There is a bowling ball shaped dent in my wall from the last time Klaus practiced. I still don’t know where he got a bowling ball. And Diego I swear to god if I find any more knife marks in my walls - ”

“Some of those are Five’s!” Diego protests, pointing an accusing finger across the table. 

“And where is Five getting throwing knives, Diego?” Luther scowls.

“Five can speak for himself.” Five interjects absently, gesturing with a knife that looks awfully familiar. Diego pauses to check his knife holster before standing up.

“You little shit - ”

“Swear jar, Diego!” Klaus crows triumphantly. For his part, Diego grudgingly snags a dollar bill from his pocket and dumps it into the jar without any real protest, still glaring at Five who is only offering a shit eating grin.

Luther plucks the knife out of Five’s hand while the smallest sibling’s attention is focused on Diego. “I’m keeping this. Diego, you can come and get it from me before you leave and not a moment before. And for the last time stop bringing your knives into my apartment.”

“You were just saying about Dad’s attempts to kidnap Five!” Diego crosses his arms across his chest. “I need my knives in case there’s another attempt.”

“You can have one, one knife on your person.” Luther concedes grudgingly.

“Two.” Diego bargains.

“Guys!” Vanya interrupts, the table rattling again as her hair lifts around her face.

Diego sighs as if put upon. “I know an abandoned warehouse downtown. You and Klaus can practice there, I guess.”

“You can stay here tonight, Vanya! And then go train in the morning!” Five pipes up enthusiastically.

“This is not turning into a sleepover.” Luther says, completely ignored by the rest of the siblings.

“Sleepover!” Klaus cheers loudly.

“I can sleep on the couch.” Diego offers, “Vanya can have the air mattress in Klaus’s room.”

“Or I can sleep on the couch.” Vanya bats her eyes innocently, “After all, wouldn’t want my powers to go off in the night and hurt someone.”

“That’s not fair.” Diego sounds awfully accusatory. 

“You guys are so rude.” Klaus sniffs in mock offense, “Just because I rolled out of bed that one time - ”

“This isn’t turning into a sleepover.” Luther repeats himself, just a little louder. He is still ignored.

“We could all camp out in the main room.” Five bounces in his chair, “We could make a blanket fort!” Without another word Five vanishes in a flash of blue, probably to go and retrieve as many pillows and blankets as exist in Luther’s apartment.

“Five!” Luther raises his voice to be heard from the other room, “No jumping from the table!” He doesn’t get a response.

“I’m calling Allison in the morning.” Vanya states simply, because clearly her sister will be the most sensible one of them all and will actually have some decent suggestions. And also because Allison should probably know about the whole “Vanya has powers” thing going on

so YEAH that’s how it goes they figure out Vanya has powers and once they eventually get on topic enough to figure out what they want to do they agree that Vanya needs control and to figure out What the Fuck her powers are to begin with

that snippet got away from me mainly because the Hargreeves talking really is like herding cats and all of them at the same table minus Allison?? absolutely terrible

They skype Allison and Allison remembers the whole rumoring Vanya in the basement and everything rattles but Allison is miles and miles away and with the others there they can point out how absolutely fucked up it was for Reginald to demand that of both Allison AND Vanya because they were both what, four? They’re going to blame the man responsible (Reginald) and Vanya is going to have a very interesting next therapy session

so there you have it there is my opinion on Vanya’s powers in the responsible Luther au she finds out about them and decides to train them and she trains with Klaus and Ben and sometimes Diego to figure out that they’re linked to sound waves and all that and she doesn’t go straight up white violin because how are you supposed to be furious when your siblings keep going off topic about swear jars and table manners and kidnapping attempts?? 

so there you have it Vanya is fine because the power of the Hargreeves to derail any and all conversations they take part in is used for the greater good

honestly at this point after everything they’ve already dealt with (including said attempts by their dad at kidnapping Five because for some reason Reginald thinks Five is the cause of the apocalypse) they’re all just kind of like “this might as well happen, adult life is already so goddamn weird.”

on the bright side I’m having a lot more fun with dialogue scenes now than when i first started writing fanfics wheyyyy go me

[vannahfanfics]

May I please request a RokuNami fanfic where Roxas comforts Naminé after the events of KH3? I really love your writings, and I’ve been craving for some good RokuNami content for a while, so I’d take a chance and make this request. I know you’re busy with other stuff, so please don’t worry about how long it’ll take for you to finish it. 🥰

Thank you very much for your patience! ^u^ I hope this is to your liking. I’m not sure if you other other requests in queue right now, but if so, I’m going through them as fast as I can so stay tuned~

Existence

The emerald leaves quivered in the rolling breeze, filling the earthy air of the woods with the sound of their rattling rush. The gentle cacophony complimented the resonant birdsong echoing overhead. It was punctuated with the drumming of a woodpecker boring his nest into one of the sturdy oaks of the little forest. A pair of squirrels rummaged among the fallen acorns, stuffing them into their cheeks pouches until they bulged profusely. The rest they buried in a little pocket of soil, likely to be forgotten and give birth to an oak sapling in the coming summer. Naminé's blue eyes watched the small rodents closely, while her hand skated across the paper, penciling a rendition of the brown squirrels to life. 

The rustling of her pencil case startled them into the trees. They clawed up the trunk to vanish among the green leaves and peer down at Naminé with beady black eyes. Naminé chuckled at their skittishness and retrieved her green colored pencil to add more details to the grass, ferns, and trees in her drawing. Once she finished, she brushed away the eraser bits and pencil chunks and admired her handiwork. She had captured the little wood in everlasting purity, down to the pair of squirrels prancing about for their meal. 

The squirrels' tails twitched as a twig snapped, piercing the tranquil atmosphere like an arrow. Naminé peered around the girthy trunk of the tree amongst whose roots she lounged to sweep her gaze around the small wood. At first, she could see only mulberry bushes and thickets surrounding the dirt path, until a sprout of blonde hair appeared around the edge of a skinny birch. 

"Naminé?" Roxas called, cupping his hand to his mouth. His voice carried through the empty air to breach the corners of the forest. 

"Here!" she answered with a little wave. Roxas’ ocean-blue eyes landed upon her, and his lips curled upward into a small smile. Naminé immediately dropped hers to the ground as the clawed hand of guilt twisted her heart. He really shouldn't be smiling at me… she thought sadly. I'm mainly the reason he suffered so much and even… had to disappear. She reclined back against the sturdy oak, anxiety bubbling in her belly as his crunching footsteps grew ever closer. 

"Naminé?" His voice was soft and troubled. Naminé did not deserve his concern. Flushing with shame, she played with the corner of her notebook, thumbing the stack of pages. Her mouth twitched as Roxas squatted down beside her to inspect her latest creation. "You've gotten better," he remarked. She dared to peer through her peripheral vision at him and found him warmly admiring the artistry. "It almost seems like I'm looking at a photograph." This time, the exaggerated compliment made her blush. 

"It's not that good." 

"I certainly couldn't make something like this," he insisted with a loose gesture over the page. Despite herself, Naminé smiled. It was always nice to receive compliments on one's work. Yet… she thought uncomfortably as the doubt crept back into her mind. He shouldn't be so nice to me. He can't have forgotten what I did. "What's that funny look on your face for?" he asked and plopped down in the grass beside her. Naminé's cheeks brightened, and she resumed fiddling with her drawing notebook. 

"I-I thought you were with Hayner and the others playing Struggle?" she said, hoping the conversation would shift without much resistance. Roxas sneered and drew his knee up so he could lay his arm over it. 

"I was, but Hayner's a sore loser. I demolished him three sets in a row, so he decided to give up." Roxas' brazen confidence made her giggle a little. She could very much imagine competitive Hayner flinging the foam Struggle wand after suffering such a humiliating defeat. Roxas smiled brightly at her little chuckles. "Anyway, Olette suggested I come check on you. You've been out here a while."

"I suppose I just got side-tracked. There are a lot of good things to draw out here." Roxas raised an eyebrow and gestured at her drawing pad. She flushed fiercely, feeling somewhat self-conscious, but would not deny the boy his perusing pleasure. He slid the book from her lap and began to flip through her most recent drawings. A curious bluebird peeked up at them, seemingly disgruntled that its meal of an earthworm had been interrupted by watchful eyes. A cluster of slimy brown mushrooms crowned by three white-winged moths bunched among the roots of a tree. A mottled thrush struck a snail’s shell against a rugged round rock, hoping to crack it so it could feast on the gooey creature inside. A patch of dandelions swayed in the gentle breeze; a few of its delicate seeds floated on the wind to a new home.

“Wow,” he breathed in admiration. Roxas’ eyes absorbed every minute detail of the colored pages like he was attempting to glean some hidden meaning within the pencil wax. Naminé flushed and fidgeted beside him. She had never really let anyone pore over her drawings like this before; she wasn’t used to such a high level of praise. And on top of that, coming from Roxas… I am undeserving. “Naminé, these are really gre- Hey, why are crying?” he gasped, dropping the drawing pad.

Naminé had even realized that tears had sprung to the corners of her eyes. Looking away in embarrassment, she wiped them away with the knuckles of her index fingers. “Naminé? What’s wrong?” His tone of voice was just so kind, so pleading. Would he forgive her if she apologized? The weight of her sins was suffocating on her chest, making it feel like her lungs were gripped in a steel vise. Whimpering pitifully, she just inched away from him, hugging her knees to her body. Subconsciously, Naminé thought that if she squeezed herself tight enough, she would blot right out of existence- just like she had doomed him to be all that time ago. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw Roxas raise a hand, hesitant to touch her.

“… I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” Roxas’ fingertips brushed lightly over her elbow, sending electric sparks jumping through her nerves. Naminé twiddled her thumbs nervously and worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “… Is it me?” he asked suddenly. Naminé’s cheeks burned apple-red, ashamed that her actions would lead him to question himself. Hastily, she shook her head, making her platinum-blonde hair bounce around her shoulders.

“No! It’s me!” she corrected loudly. When she realized she had all but admitted the source of her anxiety, she flushed darker and fisted the soft fabric of her white dress. There was nothing for it now; she had to confess. “It’s me,” she repeated in a small voice. “I just can’t understand why you’re being nice to me.”

He blinked slowly.

“Um… Well, I don’t understand why you think I shouldn’t be nice to you.”

“Because it’s my fault!” she shouted, finally forcing herself to look him in the eyes. Roxas’ oceanic irises were swimming with confusion, which only served to frustrate her more. “It’s my fault you had to disappear.”

“Oh. That.” His tone was flat and unfeeling. He shifted, pressing his back against the trunk of the tree and parting his legs slightly to begin plucking up the grass blades between his thighs. He wound the thin green shoots between his fingers until he tore them asunder, making the tiny fibers snap one after another. He fiddled with the grass a long time, and soon a pile of destroyed grass blades piled up between them. She watched him anxiously, barely breathing, but had not the courage to probe his mind. “It certainly wasn’t how I wanted to end my summer vacation, even if it was entirely fictional,” he said with a wry, pained smile. Naminé’s fragile heart cracked, and a wave of sickening nausea rolled over her, making her press her arms around her belly. I knew it… He hates me… she thought with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“But I don’t blame you.” She gasped and looked at him incredulously to see him genuinely smiling. “You were a Nobody too, once. The fact that we shouldn’t really have existed in the first place was something we both had to come to terms with.” Naminé squirmed beside him. He wasn’t wrong.

Roxas frowned and tossed one of the shredded grass blades into the air, watching as the breeze caught it to carry it over to the squirrels, which had resumed their hunting among the acorns. His mouth twitched into a smirk. “Sure, you rewrote Sora’s memories, and they ended up bleeding into me, but it’s not like you knew that would happen. Regardless of anything you or I could have done, the result would’ve been the same,” he shrugged and rolled his head to look at her reassuringly. She leaned forward with a broken look.  

“I did everything I could. Riku and DiZ thought we were just Nobodies, but…” she clasped her hands over her heart and grimaced miserably. “I wished more than anything that you and I wouldn’t have to return to Sora and Kairi.”

“And I knew that,” Roxas smiled and turned his head upwards to peer at the patches of sunlight filtering in through the leaves. He picked up a small leaf that had been ripped from the branches by an animal or a fierce gust of wind and tossed it up. It spun slowly as it floated back down to land on his lap. He repeated the action, smiling wanly. “Deep down, I knew that, so I never blamed you.” He tossed the leaves aside and rested his hands behind his head, in a very Sora-like gesture, but it carried the air of confidence that was so inherently Roxas. “Besides, thanks to Sora being hopelessly stubborn, we’re all here now, right?” he smirked and gave her an amused side-eye. “So, don’t cry anymore. He wouldn’t like it if you did, and for the record, neither do I.” A pink haze drifted up to her cheeks, and she resumed fiddling with the hem of her dress. She wasn’t quite sure what to say to that.

So, she settled for something simple.

“Thank you, Roxas.”

He smiled kindly at her and crossed his legs, leaving one hand behind his head while the other held out her drawing book to her. Naminé took it with a grateful smile and flipped it open to a blank page.

“What’re you going to draw now?”

“The two of us.” His smile widened, and he settled more comfortably against the robust trunk of the tree before drifting his eyes shut. Naminé didn’t necessarily need him to serve as a model, but she was grateful for his company, nonetheless. Using a light gray pencil, she sketched out the frame before she plucked a honey-gold one from within the confines of her pouch. She held it up to the light, admiring the way the sun made its golden hue shine all the brighter. It seemed like the pencil contained the sun’s rays itself in solid form.

“I don’t suppose you have a name for your drawing yet?” he asked her with a smirk, cracking an eye open to peer at her through blond lashes. Naminé smiled and set the golden pencil to the paper, sketching out his fluffy hair.

“I think I’ll call it Sunshine.” He blinked, then looked up at his curling bangs. He snorted in laughter and pinched a few of the thick strands between his thumb and forefinger, twisting them around.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” He scooched closer to her, slipping an arm around her shoulders rather than crushing it up against her side. Naminé didn’t mind, but his closeness and rapt attention brought a flush to her cheeks anyway. He was like sunshine, bathing her in his warmth as she slowly brought the pair of them to life on the page- seated under a sprawling oak tree, tucked within its roots, smiling and laughing together. It was the future she had imagined for them all those many moons ago, when their lives were forfeit, and they simply begged for existence. Smiling happily, she leaned her head against his shoulder, and in turn, he pressed his cheek into the top of her head with a little nuzzle that tickled her scalp.

“Roxas?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad things turned out this way.”

“Me too, Naminé.”

Grinning, she continued to breathe life into the page, capturing the absolute reality of the two of them side-by-side in the quaint little wood. She took extra care to paint the smiles on their faces, capturing forever the joy the two of them were so plainly feeling.

Thank you for always being there for me. 

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

Tag List: @deliathedork

[sagesparrow394]

A Big Problem: Part 1

Fandom: Sanders Sides

AU: Canon-verse, but when Thomas was a child.

Relationships: None. They’re seven.

Summary: Logan was the first side to figure out they could shapeshift. And, being the curious side he is, he doesn’t hesitate in trying it out.

Things don’t go quite to plan.

Note: ‘Romulus’ in this story is the King, aka Roman and Remus before the split.

—————

Logan didn’t know whether to cheer or go to a wall and slam his head into it in frustration. How on earth had he not come to the conclusion earlier? Seven years of existing and only now he realised this huge ability that was so painfully obvious! He was supposed to be smart!

... Then again, he was still the first side to figure this out. So, he was still the smartest, as he would always be. Clearly, he wore a lab coat. And he wanted to get a tie when he was older. Only serious smart people wore ties.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand! Logan smiled at his notepad, where the revelation was written out in big bold letters, underlined three times, and highlighted.

Shapeshifting. The sides could shapeshift. They were all effectively imaginary, after all. Since they did not adhere to human logic, it would make sense they’d be able to manipulate and change their forms.

Hold on... if they were imaginary, and Romulus was creativity and ruled the imagination... did that mean... Romulus created them all? Romulus created himself?! But how could he create himself before he existed?! How would that even work?! What the-

No! No, Logan. Don’t get yourself stuck in a paradox now. There was an important matter at hand that needed his focus. You could reevaluate your existence later.

Shapeshifting, it still baffled him how he hadn’t come up with it sooner. Patton and Romulus would get so excited when Logan told them about this! Escpecially Romulus. When he found out he could shapeshift into whatever he wanted while on his quests in the imagination, he’d get so excited! Logan would be praised for his findings!

Finally, the recognition the logical side deserved!

Logan stood up, picking up his notebook, and went to leave the room. However, as he placed his hand upon the door handle, he paused.

No... No. He couldn’t go out there and tell them yet! Logan had done enough experiments to know that, well, you needed to do experiments. You must test out your hypothesis before telling others, in case you’re wrong and you end up spreading misinformation - but Logan was never wrong, he needn’t worry about that. The other issue about not experimenting however... Logan had much more experience with.

If you don’t experiment, no one will believe you because you have no evidence. Specifically Romulus. The King was fond of finding holes in Logan’s little test and tearing them down. He was strange... One minute, he’d be reading Logan and Patton fairytales from one of his many books, and the next he’d be making jokes a seven year old should not understand to gross out Patton, and yell at Logan for being a dork - not as in nerd, as in whale penis.

Romulus was an interesting character, one Logan may have to conduct an experiment on at a later date.

Logan placed his notebook back down on his desk. He flicked to a clean page, ready to record the results of his current experiment. Speaking of, what was he going to do for his experiment...?

He went over to his mirror, looking at his reflection. Hm... if there was one thing he could change about himself, what would it be...? It couldn’t be anything too drastic, he didn’t want to risk it going horribly wrong, or the change being irreversible. Just a subtle, yet noticeable change...

That was when it hit him. His height! Logan was the shortest of all the sides, and Romulus always made fun of him for it. Adding a couple inches to his height would be perfect!

He went back to his notebook, jotting down his current height: 3’7”. He then got out a measuring tape from one of the drawers in his desk, and stuck it to the wall. He stood up against it, double checking his current height. Yep. Still 3’7”.

This was it. Shapeshifting time!

He closed his eyes and concentrated hard. Bigger. Taller. That’s what he needed to be. Taller, taller than all the other sides so that none of them could make fun of him again.

He took a deep breath. Please have worked, please have worked...

He opened his eyes and a grin spread across his face. His jeans looked considerably shorter, his shirt had ridden up a bit, showing his belly button, his white lab coat was far too short at the sleeves, and when he looked at the measuring tape, he was just under a foot taller. Perfect!

At least that’s what he thought until his saw his eyeline was still rising. He was still growing. He was definitely the tallest out of all the sides now, he really didn’t need to keep going...

“Um... o-okay, body, you can stop growing now!”

It didn’t stop.

He hesitated, concerned, before feeling stupid. Telling himself to stop wouldn’t work, of course not! He just needed to do what he did to start growing. He closed his eyes, concentrating as he did before. Stop growing, stop growing, stop growing...

When he opened his eyes, he let out a sigh of relief. He had stopped...

For about two seconds, before with a jolt, he shot up another foot, and then continued to grow at a faster pace than before. He was sooner even taller than an average adult, and it showed no signs of slowing down.

Uh oh.

Logan whimpered in fear. He had no idea what to do! Why wouldn’t it stop?! Concentrating hard was enough to start it, why wasn’t it stopping it too?!

His attention was drawn away from his own panic when there were multiple popping sounds. The buttons on Logan’s lab coat had been forcibly opened as it grew far to small for him. The buttons were followed by multiple ripping sounds, the coat falling to the floor in pieces.

Logan only got a moment to mourn his favourite item of clothing, before being distracted as his head hit the ceiling, causing him to let out a sharp “Ow!”. He ducked a little at first, before he knelt down instead, only for, a few minutes later, his head to hit the ceiling yet again.

He bent forward, in more of a fetal position, growing more and more panicked as the room became far too cramped. His foot pressed against his desk, a cracking coming from it as his foot starting to crush it. Logan was as careful as he could be, trying not to break anything else in the room, but not quite being successful. His bed was the first victim, then his bookshelf.

As the ceiling began to crack, his back pressing against it, he started to wonder if this would ever stop. What would happen if he did break through the room? Would it injure Thomas, given as it would especially be the walls of his mind breaking?! He really didn’t want to find out, as curious a person as he was...

As the ceiling continued to crack above him, Logan sniffled, tears welling in his eyes. He didn’t like this, he didn’t like it at all! He wanted to go back to normal, he didn’t want to be a giant! He never should have tried shapeshifting ever! He just wanted it to STOP!

And it did.

Right at that moment, the growing stopped completely. The cracking above his back silenced. Logan took deep breaths, trying to calm down, and patiently waited for it to start reversing. However, it didn’t do that. He was just stuck.

He started to panic again.

-

Virgil had no idea what the heck was going on, but he could feel panic from one of the other sides. Like, a lot. A full on panic attack.

His first idea was, obviously, to check on Thomas. He sank out from his room, rising up into Thomas’ bedroom. The boy was led on the floor, drawing, his tongue stuck out in concentration. Romulus was sat next to him, giving him all sorts of ideas.

Thomas didn’t acknowledge Virgil as he appeared, but Romulus did. The King frowned, raising an eyebrow. “Anxiety? What are you doing here? Thomas and I are kinda in the middle of creative stuff! Nothing for him to be anxious about...”

“It’s not him...” Virgil mumbled, looking around. Everything seemed normal enough... “So, you’re doing good? Not panicking?”

Romulus shrugged. “I’m fine. Why’d you ask?”

“No reason...” And with that, Virgil sunk out.

Romulus turned back to Thomas, looking over the boy’s shoulder at what he was drawing. “Um, Thomas, why is that guy bigger than all the buildings?”

Thomas just smiled. “He likes to be tall!”

“... Okay?”

Meanwhile, Virgil rose up back in his room. He ran to the next door over and knocked. “Dee!”

There was a groaning and shuffling before, a few seconds later, the door opened, a very sleepy Deceit rubbing his eyes and looking up at Virgil. “What’ssss up...?”

“Sorry to wake you, it’s just... you doing good? You weren’t, like, having a nightmare or anything?”

“No... Why, what’ssss happened...?”

“Dunno... Sorry again, see ya!”

“Ssssee ya...”

Deceit retreated back in his room, as Virgil ran off again. He continued through until he reached it: the others’ corridor. He hesitated a little before tiptoeing in. He heard the sounds of humming from the kitchen, and assumed it was Patton. He went over and stepped in the room.

Patton had his back to Virgil, and was stirring cookie batter.

“Patton?”

He let out a yelp of surprise at the voice, dropping his spoon. He turned around. “O-oh! Anxiety... Uh, what are you doing here...?”

Virgil didn’t blame Patton for being nervous. The moral side didn’t hide the fact that he didn’t exactly like Virgil’s side of the, well, sides.

“Sorry to startle you, I, um... Just felt some panicked energy... You, like, good?”

“Oh, yeah, um, sure...”

“Cool... Sorry for bothering you...”

Virgil left the room again. This just left Logan. Logan would likely either be in his room or the library. May as well check his room first.

Virgil went to the indigo door just down the corridor, knocking on it. “Logan? You in there?”

“A-Anxiety?! U-um... J-just give me a minute!”

Yep. Logan was definitely the one the panicked energy was coming from.

“Logan, I’m coming in.”

“N-no, wait!!!”

Virgil opened the door, only for it to stop halfway open. Something was in the way. Virgil frowned, and slipped through the gap.

His eyes widened immediately as his eyes met Logan’s. Logan’s giant eyes, which were in a giant head, attached to a giant body.

Logan was a giant, basically.

Virgil was speechless. Logan’s face was burning in embarrassment. “Um... one of my experiments didn’t go quite to plan...”

[espercr---archived]

✶ - 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄. 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒔 || ACCEPTING !

@symbolysm said : it’s clearly not nothing .

       fingertips glide across the bruising that encircles her throat , a familiar rush of white hot panic settling in at the base of her skull . the truth isn’t an answer she can afford to give , but the lines of concern etched onto his features make that option so incredibly tempting . her life is currently scattered , fragmented & messy . each day & night melting into the next without much sleep in between . constant fear weighs heavily upon her narrow shoulders , paranoia sourced from this risk exactly - if she is found out , her life becomes thrice as difficult . her loved ones are drawn into the line of fire . she might lose what little normalcy she’s managed to hold onto . & those are not luxuries she is willing to gamble away .

       no matter how desperately she might crave a small bit of comfort - someone to confide in . someone who might be able understand why she does what she does . first it’s steve . . . then it’s SHIELD . . . then she’s on some watch list being told to sit down . let the big boys handle it . 

       because, if she’s being honest , she has no clue what she’s doing - that’s why the bruises are there in the first place . a couple nights prior , she wasn’t fast enough - her opponent got too close , rough hands closed around her throat . she only just barely managed to gain the upperhand - & thankfully she did , or else she wouldn’t be here , in her kitchen , about to lie right to captain america’s face .

       ❝ -- okay , fine . you’re right . ❞ drawing a calming breath , she begins , ❝ i had just . . . the worst date with this bloke . he drank way too much & . . . he grabbed me - i keep pepper spray in my purse , thank god , but by the time i got ‘im off the damage was done , ❞ she gestures towards the bruising for emphasis . ❝ that’s what happened -- & i’m fine , really . ‘s all taken care of . ❞ throughout her explanation she hardly breaks eye contact , trying to gauge his thoughts . ❝ sorry i lied , i just -- ❞ a sigh , sheepish arms wrapping around herself - seriously , where’s her oscar ? ❝ i feel guilty about it i guess , i should’ve known better with that guy & i should’ve - i dunno , there are a lot of things i should’ve done . but i didn’t . ❞

       maybe she should’ve told him the truth , maybe he could have helped her , maybe her anxieties are all in her head and she should just T R U S T him . pity , it’s too late now . 

[virryth]

Finals!AU Monsta X

Literally nobody asked but our struggle with finals brought us here. 

how Monsta X deals with the stress of finals and their study habit

jooheon

spent 3 hrs making the perfect study playlist for finals, skips every song

makes changkyun study with him cause "he can't study alone or he'll fall asleep" and changkyun knows that it won’t end well cause they'll just end up f*cking around but he always comes anyways

hyunwoo looking at their tomfoolery: my boys... no... study…

kihyun: f*cking study you headasses jooheon you need a 98 to get a B

jooheon is that guy that has so many friends in all his classes that he has multiple study groups for every class so he ends up wasting time studying the same thing with different groups

he doesn't procrastinate much but he does take.. absurdly long breaks...

his definition of a break is visiting the study room next door for "a couple of minutes"

jihoon once he sees jooheon waving outside the window of svt's study room: "oh no we're not gonna get anything done"

jihoon as he sees jackson spotting jooheon and they walk to svt's room together: "f*UCK NO I NEED TO GRADUATE"

but jooheon means well! he just loves spending time with his friends and studying feels lonely....

Through the force of exam anxiety he managed to cram and write up good cheat sheet the night before

somehow managed to get the professor to round his B- to a B

changkyun

carries three (3) tumblers with him: one with woTAh, one with coffee, and one with red bull

we don't talk about that semester minhyuk somehow convinced changkyun to mix his coffee and red bull...

he ended up in the ER and he's still trying to pay off his hospital bills... slowly...

kihyun: why the f*ck did u trick the baby you know he's stupid

minhyuk: kihyun… at this point… it's natural selection

aNYWAYS changkyun is very auditory is his learning!

he tries to record his lectures and he'll listen to them. that's his "studying"

has a hard time memorizing… can barely remember his functions and laws and equations

general bio?? yeah he barely passed, made kihyun tutor him the whole semester and kissed ki on the cheek when he passed with a C-

he makes little songs to memorize his equations and it's honestly so cute... wonho had to pinch a cheek

ran out of practice problems to do cause he loves doing them

he and jooheon fool around a lot but he's the level one out of the two and he will sit both his and jooheon's ass down when the time comes for it

gets good grades on his finals! baby deserved it uwu

hyungwon

out of all the 7, he's secretly the most diligent

one of those people who pretends that they don’t study much to act cool but secretly is working very hard on his grades

reviews his notes after every lecture so by finals week he has a good grasp of the concepts

sharp enough to fill the blanks in himself

so yeah he's set he just needs to review

one time hyunwoo meant well and booked the monstas a study room

hyungwon was napping on his notes, citing something about "studying by osmosis"

always makes sure to get a full 10 hours before every exam

everyone else: running on 2 hrs of sleep, hair messy, eyebags, rumpled clothes

hyungwon awake with his outfit picked out, skin glowing and hair gelled: :)

he'll help jookyun the babies with reviewing. he's the friend that you ask to quiz you over concept cause he's brutally honest on when you get it right/wrong 

aces all his exams, but it doesn't even matter cause he only needed a 75 to get an A

kIHYUN

is insanely ambitious, is taking 8 classes and he has 5 finals... rip..

has a study schedule set up by 30 mins increments

do not even bREATHE wrong in his direction during finals week or he will cut you

color codes his notes according to subjects, has flashcards, 3d models for ochem...

goes to every single review session that almost always ends up being useless cause he already knew everything

you need his notes? well maybe if u asked before finals week he'd consider it..

when he's not trying to not kill himself he's trying to make sure his friends are alive cause minhyuk... is that pepsi you're having for breakfast???

mh: yeah... what did u have for breakfast?

ki: uh... nothing??

mh: well i'm already doing better than you, buddy

but seriously he tries to take care of everyone when he himself is a mess.... secretly carries a toothbrush just in case he'll 'accidentally' sleep in the library

during exam day he made sure to have everything he needs

unexpectedly in the middle of the exam his eraser fell and rolled into a gap between the rows in front of him

he was already close to crying

yoongi, concerned, slides his eraser to the table between them

ends up with an A, brags to the monstas about how they should follow his habits

hyungwon: bit*h where

minhyuk

king of procrastination? yes

you thought you were bad? you don’t have anything on lee minhyuk

downloads one of those game-blocking apps on his pc & laptop to block games during finals…plays games on his phone anyways...

loUD. never stops talking in the study room

is the reason the study room next to theirs always knocks on the wall to get them to shut the f*ck up

minhyuk: don’t worry i'll talk to them! :D

"they were my friends! omg i haven’t talked to yoonho in forever wait hyungwon do you remem-"

when the monstas finally got him to stfu he looked so serious looking at his laptop and writing things down the monstas were shook™ 

he was just drawing one piece fan art

is that kid who write inspirational cute things like “you’ll do great” or “grades don’t define you” on the library whiteboards or behind a bathroom stall

showed up to the wrong building on his final because the building abbreviations were similar

doesn't even flinch and walks in leisurely 20 mins late

somehow did decent??? life is unfair

wonho

lives in the campus coffee shop!

cause it's warm and cozy and it smells nice! and of course aesthetics™ 

barista seungcheol seeing wonho every morning when they open: oh you're here again??? :o

wonho: yeah!! :D

but it's cute they eventually become friends and wonho gets free refills

when u thought... the :D smile couldn’t get any cuter... the corners lifted up even more…  how could seungcheol resist the :3

his finals are mostly practicals and oral exams so he doesn't hit the books in the general sense

brings a bunch of papers anyways and takes aesthetic study pictures even though everyone who actually knows him know it's a lie

is the type to rewrite his notes cause they’re not ‘pretty’ enough and ends up wasting time

hey he's doing it for his other followers ok... they don't know how soft n meme he is yet...

he's really good at his practicals and he has the materials down but somehow struggles with the presentation aspect of his oral exams :((

he stutters a lot and he gets nervous... so it seems like he doesn't know what to do when!! he actually!! knows his stuff!!

so he gets shownu and kihyun to help

wonho: uhh.. next.. you would u-uh.. probe the... i forgot!! I can’t do this i’m sorry!!!

kihyun: no!!! ur doing so well!! come on!!

shownu: yes

practiced a lot and aced everything! buys lunch for the crew cause he's so happy...

shownu

is a TA alongside being a grad student!

grad students still have finals! hyunwoo has 2 finals, a paper, and a project presentation so he’s bUSY

but he cares for his students a lot.. is the only TA who actually bothers prepping for his exam reviews (where he unknowingly gives hints)...

student jinyoung: so is this exact example gonna be on the final?

shownu, sweating nervously: uh,, uhh... no?

his official office hours are 3 hours a week but he always makes time for his students!! he always tries to stay in his office a lot in case they need help!!

hyunwoo loves his subject and he doesn’t want anyone who has interest in it to lose interest because a class is bad

keeps a healthy supply of kihyun’s cookies (kihyun stress bakes and it’s most apparent during finals) in case of a sad or stressed student

king of giving partial credit and everyone loves him for it

exams graded by shownu have an A- average

ends up caring too much and not paying enough attention to his own finals... 

loses a couple of hours of sleep but makes it in the end!!

gets a stunning TA review and a fat bonus

puts the bonus into good food… blissfully ignoring his thesis

-M

[rpgmgames]

November’s Featured Game: lux (dream.girl)

DEVELOPER(S): Rindre Rindere ENGINE: RPGMaker 2k3   GENRE: Psychological Horror, Exploration SUMMARY: lux (dream.girl) is a surreal psychological horror game created in RPG Maker 2003 where you play as Benjamin, a socially inept teenage writer who struggles with depression, loneliness, and writer’s block. When he decides to try lucid dreaming to figure out how to push his story forward, he meets new friends, new enemies, and his literal dream girl. Making certain choices will either help or hurt his relationships, and the outcome of his story.

Download the demo here!

Introduce yourself!  *Hi! I'm Rindre! I've been working on RPG Maker for about 5 or 6 years at this point! First and foremost, I'm an artist, then a game developer, then a voice actor. I am also a garlic bread enthusiast. You might also know me as: -The voice of Aria/the lead translator in Aria's Story -Will's Teacher in The Hanged Man -The mod of Yumeresource -The admin of the RPG Horror Discord server -The host of the Pixel Horror Jams! I'm also on plenty of teams, mostly as a voice actor. These include b/f, AURORA, and The Doctrine of Perseverance.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Rindre: lux is about a boy named Ben, who is an aspiring writer who hits a writer's block and tries to take up lucid dreaming to interact with his stories and characters find out how to advance his story. He ends up meeting interesting people, including his literal dream girl. Yume Nikki is a big inspiration for me. My stories I had written when I was younger also played a huge part, and I decided to recycle bits and pieces of them into lux. Ultimately, the frustrations and experience of being a content creator inspired me to make the game. Hopefully these themes will ring universal to whoever relates to being a creator as well.

How long have you been working on your project? *Rindre: You could say 5 years, or 2 years, or since July 2017! lux actually originated as a Yume Nikki fangame in 2012 (as are all games I've made...). I picked it up again on October 2 2015 as a concept to keep a work log, but actually making it into a tangible product took me until 2017's Pixel Horror Jam. The work log has 30+ pages to it! The Yume Nikki fangame version was prepared to be released, but I forgot, and now I'm too ashamed to release it because I meant to do it 5 years ago :(

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Rindre: I'm a big fan of psychological and sci-fi/cyberpunk media. These things usually ask: Who are we, and who are we in other people's eyes? What defines us? What does it mean to be an individual in our society? It's a question I like to ask myself and explore in my own projects. My major inspirations who ask these existential questions are deep within Satoshi Kon's works and Philip K Dick's stories, as well as other movies that were inspired by those two or are in the genre (like The Matrix, Inception, Akira, Ghost In The Shell, Serial Experiments Lain, etc.). Some other inspirations and influences that might be surprising are: Kappa Mikey (art style mixing), Vocaloid producers (Crusher-P, Mothy, Yuyoyuppe), Evangelion, Linkin Park, the Hamtaro GBA games, Kirby, and my own dreams. Unsurprisingly, Yume Nikki is the biggest inspiration. I really like the concept of dreams and escapism, and how it often plays into existentialism.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them?   *Rindre: They say that when making a game, 10% is actual development and 90% is bugfixing/quality assurance. This is VERY TRUE. I spent a couple months working with my bugtesters (Thanks Biel, Choko, Meaka, Pinkuboa, and Uboaappears). The actual demo was a bunch of crunch time for the jam, which was July - August). There were a lot of bugfixes involved, including a bug I was so puzzled with and thought I couldn't fix but the solution was so simple. It took me a month to figure it out! The RM2k3 update caused a bit of trouble for me, but I thank my bugtesters endlessly for helping me squash most, if not all, bugs. On the other hand, in case anybody asks, yes: I have lucid dreamt of my characters in lux when I hit a roadblock. These were never successful. I've only been able to do it twice, both by accident.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Rindre: I usually go into development with a clear idea in mind with certain events and endings, but lux differs greatly from its old Yume Nikki counterpart (dream.girl). Notable major changes: Ben now wears glasses. Ben is now a writer. Stella used to not be a bunny. Stella also did not have any stars in her eyes before. The only things retained was the concept of dreaming a dream girl, and Ben's and Stella's names and facial appearance. Even if I make a bunch of plot outlines and flowcharts, things change, but it's natural! The stories that occur within lux also have changed slightly plot-wise from their earlier pre-2012 counterparts (most were written over 10 years ago!), and are begging for a facelift. One involved parkour, but sadly, there is no parkour anymore :(

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don't have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Rindre: I prefer working alone when it's my project! I like working at my own pace, but if needed, I'll reach out to other people for help. I like helping people out on their projects too, but when it comes to my own, I like to handcraft everything by myself. It shows me what I'm capable of doing, and gives my game a "this was 100% made by me" stamp.

What is the best part of developing a game? *Rindre: Making music is relaxing and lets me convey a mood or theme without having to take out my tablet to draw or write something extensively. Being able to relax yet still work on the game is great. I like nights where I can sit down and make something nice I can put in my game. A lot of them are on my SoundCloud (Rindere), but some of the really nice ones are ones I haven't uploaded there. I'm really not a musician, but I did take a class on music technology. My favorite ones going to be in lux on my SoundCloud are "Nepenthean", which is also Ben's theme, "Choke On Your Misery", and "Empyria Incarnadine". It's also really nice to get files from your voice actors and they sound EXACTLY like how you thought your character would sound like! Special thanks to Aidan, Mizu, JR, and Nuei.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Rindre: I prefer to do my own thing! I like to push RPG Maker 2003 to the limit. A lot of the cool effects were done before the major update of RM2k3 that came out earlier last month. Some things I thought were never possible in RM2k3 are things that I made possible after some thought. Like any problem, it can be solved in a bunch of ways, even if you have limitations.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Rindre: The character I relate to the most is actually my least favorite character. It's Ben! I specifically modeled him after myself but changed certain things, like the intensity of his reactions. It was actually difficult to write him, because I had to think about how I would react in the situations I put Ben in. I feel like I had to get into some kind of mindset that was "mine", but also "not mine" as well.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Rindre: I feel like I could've released the game sooner, or continued work on FLUX instead. I would like to go back to working on FLUX soon, since I haven't worked on it in a long while. But after hosting the Pixel Horror Jam with Choko and jamming on this game, I'd like to rest up a bit before I take on a big project again.

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore game's universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Rindre: Because lux is part of the -UX Series, it would naturally be a series with other entries. I don't know if or when they'll all be created, nor if they'll all be games, but I do eventually hope to see it finish. Something I want to explore is to further flesh out the stories Ben has written, especially because they were concepts written before lux ever came up as a concept. I've also given them -UX titles! I think I'll work on Crux/quX next.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Rindre: I am donating proceeds to the One More Light Fund with what is being donated to the itch.io-uploaded version of lux, so I really am looking forward to donating to a cause that is important to me. I encourage people to donate to the OML Fund directly, not through me. I also really like fan reaction, but I love the catharsis of releasing something you've made. It's a mix of relief and pride, but a little bit of anxiety because you don't know how well the fan reaction will be. I hope that my game will affect somebody in a positive, personal way, whether it be a new favorite game, something for them to draw, or become inspiration for their own works. I look forward to free time and rewarding myself with something good, like chicken parmesan too!

Is there something you're afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game?  *Rindre: I constantly ask, "Is my game worthy enough for others to play? Is my game good enough?" But when it comes down to it, really you're asking it to yourself, not to the people that will play your game. Sometimes, you have to sit down and ask yourself, "Am I satisfied with what I have made so far?" Then you go down the list of things you've made and say either, "I'm proud of this!" or "This could use some more work." and you fix it accordingly. The first audience of your game is always you, so if your game is "worthy" and "good enough" to you, then it is for other people.

Question from last month's featured dev (Team Galanx): What kind of stories do you appreciate most in RPG Maker games? For example, do you like ones based off real-life experiences, fantasy elements, or morals? *Rindre: My series of games is called the -UX Series, with there being 4 main stories that are related to each other: "FLUX", "lux", "Ux.", and "X". The rest of the titles end in "-ux" as well. It was only natural to do that!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Rindre: Game Development -Give things meaningful names. -Back up your work in three different places. -Back up your games frequently. -Never be afraid to remake things, but do this occasionally. If you do this frequently, you'll be caught up in a loop of perfectionism. -Think if the cool new thing you want to put in will actually serve a proper purpose in the game. If it's only there just to be cool, don't put it in your game. -If things don't work out, it's perfectly fine to scrap ideas. -Don't pander. Make a game you want to make, not what others want to play. Releasing your game -Reach out to people who haven't played games similar to yours. You'll have opinions that you wouldn't normally get, compared to others who are familiar with your type of game. -Learn how to take critique. This might be the skill that will take you the longest to hone. -Not everyone is out to get you, but sometimes there will be people who want to bring you down. Even if this happens, there are always people there to support you. -You don't have to agree with every critique given to you. Other advice -If you're not embarrassed about your old work, then you haven't progressed. Continue to improve your skills and yourself. -Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to your past self instead. -Don't be working on your game 24/7. Take up hobbies to occupy yourself, so you don't get burned out. -Learn to be a generalist, but also learn to specialize in something that people will recognize you for. -Be proud of your work.

We mods would like to thank Rindre for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved! 

Remember to check out lux if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum 

[saihara-shuichi-imagines]

Saihara whose S/O is the Ultimate Beauty Guru

it’s under the cut. not because it’s nsfw but because it’s SO LONG i’m SO SORRY

-Mod Otome

•You'd always loved beautiful things. You loved to make the world around you prettier, and your passion extended to the people around you, too. Things got a little out of hand, at some point… but at the end of it all you became the Ultimate Beauty Guru.

•You met Saihara during his class' cultural festival, where a bad lottery draw on his part led to his classmates asking you to use your expertise to turn Saihara into… a beautiful, and charming maid, to walk around and advertise the cafe.

•"W-wait!" he objected immediately. "Shouldn't we have a girl do this instead?"

•"Yeah, but we can make it work." "No takebacks!" "Do your best! (lol)" were among the responses he received to this. Saihara realized that if he were to object any further he'd just cause trouble.

•But he still…!

•On the day of the festival he still showed up to the classroom used for costume prep, looking like he'd wanted to be swallowed up by the ground beneath him.

•You'd only heard you were going to help costume a maid, and given said maid's measurements, but… anyway, you ask him if he's okay. "Did your class send you to help me, maybe?"

•"U-um, no, I'm the… you know. Ugh." He admitted it, even though he was unable to say it outright.

•You understood immediately, and felt even *more* sorry for the guy. Doubly so; you really didn't like the idea of forcing someone to wear stuff they really didn't want to.

•Out of habit, you give him a once-over. He's kind of slender, for a boy. His face is really pretty, too. You wonder what it'd be like to put eyeliner on him… wait, focus. Focus.

•"Oh!" But you have an idea. "I can't, uh, help your situation, but… if it makes you feel any better, I can help you pick out a nice--regular--outfit after all this is over."

•Saihara mulled it over. Certainly, you were the Ultimate Beauty Guru, but...

"I-I'm kinda not the type to care about what I'm wearing? Bar today, I mean."

•He picks at the brim of his beat-up baseball cap, and continues. "It's usually just jeans and a shirt for me…" he feels pretty embarrassed--not quite shameful, but almost--admitting this to you of all people.

•"Oh, this feels kinda like telling a sous chef you prefer fast-food takeout," he thought to himself.

•So why did he say that.

•Why in the world did he say all that???

•To your shock, his knees suddenly give out under the pressure of his social anxiety.

• "Is everything alright?!" You kneel to talk to him face level from where he's sunken onto the floor, telling him why you suggested it and that it's okay if he doesn't want it.

•The reassuring smile on your face makes him feel some way.

•He sits up properly. "I-I'm sorry again. You were just trying to help me… maybe it would be nice to, um, dress up. Not as a maid, I mean!" He blushes, and quickly corrects himself. "In a nice casual outfit, like, um… like you said."

•"There's absolutely no way you'll enjoy the maid thing?" you ask.

•He mutters; idly touching the back of his neck under his collar. "No, sorry. B-but I'll still do it. And, um, if it's still okay with you, I'd like to… take you up on your offer from before."

•"Yeah, of course! I'd love to." You stand, holding your hand out to help do the same. "I'm Y/N."

•"Right… glad we could strike a deal." he takes it, and lets you help him up. "--I mean, um… thank you. My name is Shuichi Saihara."

•The reason you wanted to meet up with who you were costuming was so you could take requests regarding the maid costume. Despite Saihara's reluctance, you show him the sketches you drafted up. "Is there anything you want to look like in particular?" You ask.

•"I want to look like a guy," is what Saihara thinks of (and decides against) saying. For the rest of the afternoon, he and you work together to make it so that his costume minimises the inevitable embarrassment.

•"How is… around here, for the length of your skirt?" You gesture to the area above his knees.

A cold and fearful shiver runs down his spine. "Lower... seriously, lower than that, please."

"Haha, okay." With your tape measure, you begin a slow descent down the length of his leg. "Let me know when the end of the tape is low enough."

Your hand, and the tape measure descends to the area below his knee. You notice the grimace on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you. Lower, if that's okay."

You nod, and the tape descends. You reach the calf. Then the mid-calf. Then his… ankles.

You stare up at Saihara, who is looking at the measuring tape like it was used to strangle his mother.

"You want it to cover most of your legs, right." you say, looking up at him.

He nods and mutters a "thank you."

•Saihara sorts out the rest of the details surrounding his outfit with just a tiny bit more energy. He still doesn't want to be a maid, but you're making the process almost... pleasant for him. He can almost relax around you.

•It's… kinda nice, just sitting there and talking together with you. Peaceful.

•But he flushes, realising how *romantic* he sounds, and how he's thinking way too much of it probably--he tears himself away from that line of thought. You'd just met, after all.

•Over the next week and a half, though, you do see each other - just in passing, as Saihara learns how to be a maid and how to go about his tasks during the festival, and as you flitter back and forth between your classroom and his, while you cooperate with Tsumugi to make his clothes and plan his look.

•The next time you *really* see him is on the day of the festival. Your class is doing a drink stand - nothing much for you to help with there - so you're in Saihara's class, doing the maids' makeup. Saihara sits in your chair after all the girls have gone.

•His hands seem to be shaking a little as trades his baseball cap for a frilly hairband, but you decide not to ask just yet.

•With great satisfaction in your heart, you put on some of that eyeliner you were thinking about when you met him.

"Now for the lipstick."

"Li- huh?" The young man blanches in reply.

"Just kidding, nah."

He then breathes an audible sigh of relief.

"I do have to use some lip tint instead, though… this'll be easier to clean up later. I'm going to apply it now, okay?"

•You show him the tint, first testing it on his arm. He inspects the color of it--it's not something he'd wear in his own, but it doesn't seem too gaudy or anything, thankfully.

•"Did you… pick this specifically for me?" He asks, eyes trained on the texture of it. It really *does* look easy to just wash off.

"Yeah." You nod, dipping the applicator back into the bottle. "I figured you'd want to have as little makeup as possible--or something like that, so I picked light stuff." You carefully place your hand on his cheek, turning his head so he faces you.

•He appreciates your consideration, but… your fingers feel awfully soft. He isn't used to contact like this, either… Saihara can only hope he isn't blushing. He feels embarrassed that he might be to begin with. You apply the tint to his lips.

•When you're finished, Saihara takes a good moment to stare at himself in the mirror. It's… still *really* weird, yeah, but he thinks to himself, "Y/N did… a pretty good job." He resists the urge to touch his face.

•As he stands up from his seat, you stand back to get a better look at him. He insisted, until the very end, on a maid uniform with a long skirt.

•He fits in the role scarily well. The features of his face take a more feminine tone, too, thanks to your handiwork. And his grumbling is minimal throughout the whole day, too!

•(He's still sulking in the corner a little at the end of the day, but when you ask him about his plans for that weekend, he seems to relax a bit as he replies that he's free.)

•You spend the following afternoon at the mall, hoping you aren't forcing Saihara into these outfits.

•This concern spills out your lips. "Huh? No no no, it's okay," he replies, snapping up to look at you instead of the drink he'd been nursing while the two of you sat to rest.

"Are you sure? I mean…" You'd been having so much fun putting clothes and accessories together for him that you wonder if you'd been overwhelming the boy.

"To be honest, I don't think I look like anything special," he admits. "and admittedly I wasn't too excited at first. But, um…"

You realise, suddenly, that he's blushing a little. He's *bashful.* You think you might be staring.

"I… this has been really fun, hanging out with you." He thumbs the tab on the top of his can of soda. "Thanks for inviting me."

You immediately want to invite him out again. Maybe twice or a hundred and five times more.

"No problem," is what you say--"I'm having fun too, so… thank you for coming along!" --unable to stop the smile on your face.

It's cheesy, he thinks, to think that your smile just then looked bright. But it kinda did. It felt bright, too.

Saihara takes a last swig of his drink, and before you can protest, he quietly picks your shopping bags up to carry for you.

•In the end, he buys an outfit, and, with embarrassment on his part, a bit of the eyeliner you used on him during the festival.

"You liked the look of it didn't you?"

"…yeah," he mutters. "It did look kinda nice, I guess."

"Do you want me to teach you how to apply it?" You peek under the bill of his cap.

"Y-Yes, please."

He's still carrying the bags, and only hands them to you as he sees you to the front door of your house.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school, Saihara-kun."

"Ah-- yeah! Yeah. See you tomorrow."

•The next day he shyly approaches you at lunch.

•The next weekend you invite him to your house so you can teach him to use the eyeliner. Flustered and determined not to overstep your boundaries, he insists on keeping to the living room.

•At your request he gives you the eyeliner he'd bought with you. You apply a bit of it in the style you used for the maid cafe, and a few other ways you think would look nice on him.

•Saihara is maybe, definitely overtoverthinking about how soft your palms feel on his skin--

He stops and calms himself, yet again, and chooses to focus on your technique.

•The young man has to admit that despite his lack of knowledge of makeup, your work still feels very  impressive to him.

•Sometimes he'll let you try new techniques if you want to do so on him, or let you gush about things even though he understands.

•Eventually, he realises that he just likes seeing you happy.

•He does feel a little like you might be out of his league, but before he can really beat himself up over it,

•He blurts out that he likes you, one day while you're eating lunch together at school, and his face blooms into full red.

•Saihara's babbling, and stuttering while he babbles, trying to justify himself-- to backpedal, to somehow take it back--

•When you, kindly containing your laughter--he really can be too cute--tell him you like him too.

•Eventually he gets used to spur-of-the moment makeovers when you want to try new things on a face you love, or days you just feel like dressing up, when he'll feel like letting you dress him up for a change too.

•You learn to love the taste of the tea he likes; the same tea he shyly brings in a thermos to share with you, every other afternoon.

"Do you make this yourself?" You ask him one day. "The tea, I mean."

He sets the thermos down after pouring into his own cup. "No, actually. This is… sort of embarrassing, so give me a minute."

You take a sip, letting the warm and slightly-sweet taste spread from your throat to your chest, waiting for him to continue.

He does, hands tracing the rim of his cup. "I don't put the tea leaves together myself or anything, but I read a scene like this--where the, uh, main character shares tea with the love interest in their office and everything--in a book I really liked."

"So I…" Saihara brings the cup to his lips. "…y'know, thought it would be. Nice."

The next time you're at his house, he lends the book to you.

•Despite how far away the realms of your hobbies and interests may be, you love him very much, and he loves you just as much in return.