#why couldnt shit just stay how it fucking was for the love of god

[tshifty]

.

[teknikolor-walters]

i love being such a subhuman freak i scare my mom so bad she nearly throws up

[seattlesellie]

hi angelll 🦋 I was wondering if you could write something about ellie having a dacryphilia kink, if not that’s okay I know it’s a little bit out there 🩵

not out there at all bb <3

ellie fucking loves in when you cry.

warnings: darcyphilia, public sex

fucking titanic. so cheesy, too.

little muffled soft sobs were escaping your mouth. sometimes watching a film in the theater made it feel… well, real. eyes locked on the screen, you couldnt help but feel pain. why did it have to happen to them? and that little old couple holding hands? and oh god - jack and rose were on that fucking door now too? youve watched that shit about a million times already, and it never failed to make you act like this. is the salty taste on your tongue from the buttery popcorn or from your flood of tears?

“mmph” you scrunched your nose, sniffling, trying to hold the snot inside.

and then there was ellie. munching on that popcorn, eyes focused on the screen, caressing your thigh, comforting you. did she just - hold in a giggle?

“s’not- not funny” you sniffled, josteled her, making her head bob.

“know its not, babe- just, so cute” she whispered, her lip curling into a sly smile. “so cute, youre so cute” she while smiling, and shoved another popcorn in her mouth.

“how are you not crying?!” you blurted out, utterly flabbergasted. how was she so calm about this? you could feel your own body trembling, tears clinging to your cheeks like pesky little irritants, and she didn't seem remotely fazed? It's rose and jack, for christs sake! theyre destined for a tragic end! not to mention the sinking ship, the countless lives at stake, and, oh my god, what if there were innocent animals aboard? what if there's a helpless puppy trapped in that chaos? that thought alone is just...

you let out a loud sob. what if?!

“shh… shh… gonna get us kicked out” she cooed, gently brushing away yet another warm tear from your cheek.

you turned your gaze back to the screen, desperately attempting to swallow the lump lodged in your throat. “els- cant not cry” you whimpered, followed by a sniffle and another plaintive whine.

ellie didnt turn her head back, however. ellie was staring at you, squinting her brows. ellie was supposed to watch the movie. but ellie had a different one playing in her head.

the way you uttered her name, a soft, pleading whine, oh… the way that sweet voice made her feel. your words spun her mind in dizzying circles.. “els… too tight” sniffle. she almost heard it echoing in her head. “hurting me, els” oh god. “s’too much ellie…” shit. she felt like she was writing a script. jack and rose didnt have shit on her.

she gulped. you didnt notice.

her left hand reached out to caress the dampness you had left upon her shoulder. she lightly pinched the fabric, witnessing a small droplet of moisture emerge, wetting her fingertip.

she was sick.

she shifted in her sit, slid off it slightly, and started shaking her leg.

focus on the movie, ellie. theres people around.

it was suddenly too hot, and her heart was beating too fast. why did she… like this? why did those tears, why did those whines… why were her boxers feeling tighter on her body?

she cleared her throat silently. eyes on the screen, ellie.

“hug me ellie” you whined.

can you stop fucking whining?

“of course” she whispered, and shifted to get closer. she wiped a tear from your eye. she wasnt laughing now. “put your head on my chest” she commanded. stay close right there, right there.

your tears continued to flow unabated. a wet patch had formed on her white tank top, marking the spot where your emotions had spilled over. one of your tears trickled down her chest, forging a path akin to a meandering river.

she felt like scratching herself. like slapping herself in the face. she listened to your soft breaths, and occasional sniffs.

she wondered if she could make you cry like that. wondered if youd sniff like that, if youd whine like that, when she was buried deep inside. could she circle your little clit with her thumb? and then could she wipe that tear off your cheek - with that same finger?

she gulped again. it was way too uncomfortable now, and why did you have to wear that top? why did you have to bring her here? why did your whines sound so cute, and why did she need to touch you right now and be the only reason for your tears?

fuck rose and jack. and fuck that ship.

her hand was still resting on your thigh. but it was moving now, ever so slightly, caressing it. she wanted to push it, push your buttons. she traced little circles on your thigh, and pretended to watch the flick playing on the screen.

her hand climbed futher up, and she was observing you intently from the corner of her eye.

your breath hitched up. “tickles” you murmured, in between sniffles.

“sorry” she whispered. she wasnt.

“you really are cute, though” she smirked.

every time she talked - its like you missed a scene. what if jack just died? what it he died and then your girlfriend called you cute and now you missed it?

“watch the movie, ellie” you warned.

like you could ever fucking warn her.

“m’watching it” she responded. “watching the movie.” if you were the movie you referred to, yeah, she was watching.

she planted a little kiss on your cheek. the old man sitting besides you sniffed. oh man, was he crying? the thought triggered yet another tear to cascade down your face. it felt as if someone had left a faucet running, the tears flowing without restraint.

her hand was caressing higher on your thigh now, and she squished the fat on the side. it almost hurt. ellie was wheezing now, she tried to hold her breath, but she couldnt.

she cupped your cunt, without warning.

shit.

her gaze adverted to the people sitting on the sits next to you. she was checking if theyd notice if she fucked you with her fingers right now.

the sudden contact made you jump. her hand was so warm, and it somehow managed to press right on your clit, and it tickled, but it felt so so good… but jack- but oh, ellie.

“what are you doing?” you whispered frantically. the lady sitting next to you cleared her throat. you didnt really whisper, apparently.

“i told you… youre cute” ellie whispered into your ear, her warm breath gently caressing your skin.

“and i like it when you cry”

oh.

you didnt respond. was the movie still rolling? your cheeks were still wet. your breathing got heavier.

she caressed your cunt through your jeans, and crossed her legs. she needed her own type of friction, too. her index finger went up and down the hem of the jeans located right on your clit. she was teasing it, pressing slightly. you spread your legs, involuntarily, almost. you looked at her with this look, it was filled with doubt, but god did you look needy, and pathetic, eyes glistening and cheeks burning. it drove her crazy.

“dont look at me, look at the screen” she commanded, brought her hand to your chin, pinched it and forced your face to shift towards the screen again. you tried to, tried to fixate on the moving characters, but fuck - it felt too good, and you needed more.

“gonna fuck you right here, gonna give you a real reason to cry, yeah?” she whispered, and you shivered. her pupils were blown out. for all she knew the movie was over and the credits rolled up. for all she knew a mall cop was standing right in front of you, she didnt really give a fuck.

“mm- yeah?” you whimpered, and slapped your hand on your mouth. fuck, you needed to stay quiet. this could definitely put you on a list.

ellie took the popcorn container and placed it on your crotch.

“shut up” she whispered in your ear, making you moan a string of curse words.

she shifted her eyes towards the screen, and pretended to watch.

her hand skillfully opened the button of your jeans, and fuck, you were shaking.

she played with the band of your panties with her veiny hand, gave it a twist and started pulling it up. it was grazing over your clit so good. you held back a moan, eyes rolling back.

your heart was beating so fast. what if people saw? what if-

ellie let go of your panties, and slid her hand right in. god, you were soaking, and you didnt even notice. she chuckled. shed give you shit for it later. “how are you always so wet for me?” its like you could read her thoughts.

her middle finger played with your sleek, brushing it up and down so slowly. she wanted to fucking taste it. pull your pants down, and start licking your pussy in front of everyone, giving them a real good fucking show. your mind went blank. ellie, ellie, ellie. that was the name of the movie playing now.

she bit her knuckle. she fucking loved teasing you, but fuck did she need to put a finger in, fuck- did she need to feel how tight you swallow it in, how your hole just clenches, how it owns her, holding her locked inside.

she wanted to - but she couldnt. make her cry.

her finger merely grazed your tight hole, teasing it. she wouldnt go inside, absolutely not. she caressed it up and down, and side to side, and then almost, almost let it slip inside, but pulled back. your mouth was watering, you wanted to chase that climax - you felt like you could come right then and there, just from knowing, just from feeling her hand on your cunt. the noise that came out was disgusting, her hand was covered in your sweet juices, creating obscene squelching sounds.

you whimpered in your sit, and tried pushing your hips forward. if she didnt put it inside, you needed to feel at least something on your clit. she was purposely avoiding it. its like you were cockwarming her hand. “m’god” you gulped.

“yeah?” she whispered into your ear and cupped your cunt again, and you turned your needy gaze to her for just a second. her eyes were closed and her eyebrows were squinting, you could hear her heavy unsteady breaths.

you whimpered, and bit your lips so hard they bled slightly. keep fucking quiet, she told you to shut up.

with her hand cupping your cunt, she began moving it up and down, grabbing your entire pussy with her hand. the popcorn container moved with it, bobbing up and down. fuck, thank god its dark.

she gave your clit a pinch, and it fucking hurt, but it felt so good, sending small jolts of pleasure to your body. she wouldnt let it go, just pinched it, and then released, and pinched it again. you needed to cum so bad, you almost cried. “m’ellie… ellie” you whispered while moaning her name, chanting it like a prayer. almost there, almost exploded all over her warm hand,

its like she read your mind. “dont cum” she whispered in your ear, making you let out a muffled moan.

you nodded your head frantically, trying to swallow the moans threatening to leave your mouth.

a tear formed in your eye. you needed it so bad.

she formed circles with her cupped hand again. you could feel everything. you took your sweater covered hand and bit it down.

she was panting in her sit.

“thats it” she whispered in your ear, and pinched your pussy lips together, so swollen, so pathetic.

the hot tear came down so fast, dropping on your cheek, and then sledding down on your neck, on your chest now.

“cry about it” she commanded, whispering in your ear, trying to hold back her own sounds of pleasure.

so you did.

[misserabella]

gonna need an abby version of your ‘sexting ellie williams’ fics bc god am i obsessed with that woman

a/n; you ask and you shall receive

sexting with gf! abby! ♡

pt2

cw; +18 content! minors dni!, sexting, drinking (reader is in a party and drunk), description of a video of reader touching herself, abby being as cocky as ever, top! abby, bottom! reader, fingering, praising, oral sex (r receiving), cum eating, making out, allusions of sex with strap…

3:24 AM

abs

abssssss

abbyyyyy

sht abayuyyy

abby groaned as her phone buzzed nonstop, reaching for it and squinting her eyes at the screen’s light. she took a peak at the hour. holy fuck. 3AM?

baby? what the hell? why are you up this late?

partyyyy

u’re at a party rn? bfr

yessss. owen’s

i’m gonna kill him. why did he let you drink this much?

i’m not deinkkk

you’re definitely drunk, doll. i’m gonna go get you, alright? stay put wherever u are and don’t move.

no no lsten, i have something impurtabt to telll u

what is it?

ik i’m drunk rn but in gunna marry you

you’re gonna marry me?

abby was laughing at your texts. yes, she was worried you had been drinking, but you were at owen’s and you were safe. and it was so fucking fun to watch you try and type correctly.

yes

i’m marryin u

even if you r meanb

me? when have i been mean to you baby?

rn

right now?

yeahh, ‘cause tou’re sooooj beautiful

all i fan think about are your lips rn

why r u not heyre?

okay. you’re really drunk, baby, why don’t you wait for me and we talk about this when i get there, hm?

no.

u r gonna take sooooiii long

you’ve pretty eyesX

they look so good when u go down on me

abby’s eyes widened, and her whole body seemed to burn. shit.

yeah? they look good princess?

mmmh

want u

and you’re so far away rn it’s nor fair

that was a fucking lie. abby was already on the road to get there. shit. she loved it when you went all needy on her. and when you were drunk? you had no filter. always screaming and moaning so loud she sometimes would have to muzzle you to not have the neighbors knocking on her door.

oh baby, why don’t you come here and sit on my face? my tongue will say sorry for me

your cheeks flushed, and your cunt throbbed. you loved it when she’d make you sit on her face, her tongue unrelenting on fucking you over and over again until you wouldn’t cum anymore. you needed her. and you needed her right now. the bathroom you had gone in felt suddenly too hot and your panties too sticky. you hissed when your fingers pushed in them, feeling just how wet you had become for her. you couldn’t help but plunge a finger inside your tight hole. of course, your fingers weren’t as near as largue and thick as abby’s, but you needed something until she’d get there and do it for you.

csn i tell u s secret?

ofc princess, what is it?

i’m fucking my pussy rn

jesus christ. abby almost hit the breaks. almost crashed when you send her a video of —now— two of your fingers fucking inside your tight and squelching walls. she could hear your little whimpers and pants.

couldnt wair abymore

i need you so bad abby pkease

shit. writing with only one hand and drunk wasn’t that easy. you were whimpering and moaning as you fingered yourself on the bathroom of owen’s party. you thanked god the music was loud enough to muffle your sounds, ‘cause you surely couldn’t swallow them back inside.

abby was exceeding the speed limit to get there, practically parking on top of owen’s lawn as she jumped out of the car, running towards the house.

where.

bathroom

she didn’t even say hi to owen as she passed right through him, her blood boiling as she ran upstairs and swung the door open. you hadn’t even locked it. fucking hell.

abby almost went down on her knees when she saw you sitting on the toilet’s lid with a hand buried in between your thighs and your phone on the other, your chat open and showing on the screen. your senses came back to you as you heard the lock turning, and you moaned when you saw her.

did i say almost? abby had never been quicker to kneel down, her strong arms pushing your legs on top of her shoulders to move your hand away and, after cleaning up your fingers with her tongue, hurriedly burying her face in your cunt. your back arched, and you let out a scream that made her groan, lapping at your juices. you were so fucking wet…

“fuck, abby!” you cried out when she plunged her own fingers deep inside your cunt, easily finding your g spot.

she cooed. “my princess was just feeling needy. weren’t you, baby? poor thing. so horny for me couldn’t wait until i could get here. sending me a video of touching your tight little cunt just to tease me, didn’t you?” you whimpered, bucking your hips against her touch, your back arching.

“please abby… your mouth.” you begged.

“you want my mouth baby? want me to eat this soaked pretty pussy of yours?” you nodded, pleading for it, and she followed, her tongue meeting your clit and making you moan. “so fucking loud…” she groaned, starting to devour you to get out of you more or those pleasured sounds. she was starving. and you were falling apart, melting under her tongue.

“abby!” you screamed when her tongue fucked inside of you, her arms tugging from you to get closer, her nose nudging your clit. the alcohol made you feel dizzy, and the pleasure only seemed to grow and grow. you could feel it shocking through your body, her grunts making your body gave into her. you needed her.

“fuck, you look so fucking beautiful. need you bouncing on my cock baby.” you whimpered, nodding.

“yes please, abby, please, need you to fuck me.” you were a babbling mess, her tongue teasing you and making you squirm. she adored making you tremble, seeing you get more and more desperate for her to make you cum.

“yeah? need me to fuck you sweet girl? need me to to fuck your brains out?” you nodded, moaning, your chest heaving harshly, your thighs shaking at the sides of her head, your back arched when her fingers, three this time, plunged inside of you, abusing your g spot and making you see stars. “i will princess. but first you’re gonna cum on my tongue, isn’t that right?” your hands found her hair, tugging when she sucked down on your sensitive and puffy clit. “yeah, of course you are. you are squeezing my fingers so tight, fuck… you always take them so well baby. such a fucking good girl for me. can’t wait to see you taking my cock.“ you could feel the warmth on your stomach grow and grow.

“abby, i’m gonna…! i’m cumming!” you cried out, and she only fingered you faster, harder. it was imposible to describe. this feeling. her.

“go ahead baby, let me clean you all up.” she smirked, and with a last thrust and lick at your clit you were falling apart, making her groan when you pushed her face harder against your gushing cunt. you whited out.

she helped you ride it as your moans broke, your hips stuttering and your creamy white and salt cum painted her fingers. she moaned against you, cleaning it with her tongue and humming at the taste. there was nothing she loved more than giving you head.

once you’d calmed down and your breathing had evened out, she pulled her fingers out to push them inside her mouth. you whined as you watched her, with lips swollen and chin soaked in your juices.

“let’s get out of here.” she said, and you nodded, not before kissing her so deeply you left her as drunk and dizzy as you felt.

yeah. she was definitely gonna marry you.

….

LORD. that was filthy asf. i’m sorry… or nah.🤭

hope you enjoyed. remember to support your writers! <3

abby anderson masterlist! <3

xxx

[ihopeicanchangethislater05]

these last few episodes have moved me, maybe i was too young the last time i watched them to understand but this time they hit so fucking hard

everytime wilson brought up that he was dying it did something to me

especially the scene in the car where he asks house to tell him that he loves him. whatever i say, seeing robert sean leonard cry is so hard for me. this isnt the first time but yet even when he is crying his eyes crinkle up and it shouldnt be cute considering the scene but god.

and wilson allowing house to let go of him by not helping him with his devious plan about the tickets just says that hes preparing house for a life without him. where wilson wont be there to guard house as his conscience from the stupid shit house will do.

and oh my god ep 19 that was such a rollercoaster

seeing wilson act the way he did. so carefree, and so indifferent it just felt like maybe once he actually deserved to be selfish for what he was doing. although it lasted only a day or two i think he found himself, with the old woman. wilson will always be wilson and how much ever he tried, he could never go without caring for others.

isnt that the other reason why he came back to house that night and told him he would do the chemo. for him.

when the building was burning down and wilson had just seen his best friend of 20 years die infront of his eyes, there was so much in his eyes that we could tell without him needing to say it out loud. and when they brought out the body, wilson was wrapped up in a blanket saying he stayed the whole damm night to know if his best friend was dead. in that scene for me rsl's expressions were so on fucking point cos however hurt he was i couldnt pin point an emotion on his face at all

not to talk about the last scene, cos if i do i think i will cry again

thank you for my ted talk i just needed to get this out of my system and sleep peacefully

[lingeringdesires505]

maybe its for the best

rin itoshi x reader

angst

rin can’t stop blaming himself, he knows hes at fault, that hes the reason the two of you had broken up. rin’s life mainly revolved around soccer, until he met you. all his life, his only goal was to beat his brother, itoshi sae, and show him how he too could be good at soccer. little did he know, he would be so caught up in his obsession with competing against his brother would ruin a relationship he had cherished so much.

28 April, 10.58 p.m.

The night you two broke up, it was after one of his late night trainings. despite being tired and burnt out, he still stayed back after training, pushing himself to his limit, in hopes that his skill would be up to par with his brother’s.

you laid in your shared bed with him, wondering when he would come home. his soccer training should have ended at 9 p.m., yet he was still not home. seeing the clock almost striking 11, you became more and more worried about your lover. you had sent him multiple texts, but none were read.

“he must be staying back after training again,” you thought to yourself. despite the constant reminders not to overexert himself, and that he should rest more, rin never listened to you. he would either brush you off, saying it was no big deal and that he wasnt tired, or just ignore you. you understood that he was feeling lots of stress especially with the upcoming soccer match, but you just couldnt stand there and see him destroy himself like this. it certainly wasnt healthy and beneficial for his physical or mental health.

as you reached the stadium, you saw a familiar figure doing his routines.

“rin! ive been worried about you. its already 11 p.m., you should come home and rest!” you called out to him as you ran towards him.

“ just a few more minutes…im almost done. after im done, we can go home, okay? “ he said without looking back to you.

as much as you wanted to let him finish, you could already tell he was extremely tired. the sweat running down his forehead and muscles, the heavy panting that you knew all to well — he was already pushing his limits, if you were to let him continue, he might over exhaust himself, doing more harm than good to his body.

“ rinnie, please, youre at your limit already, please just stop! youre going to hurt yourself at this rate! “ you begged him to stop, but he wouldnt listen. tears started to well up in your eyes as you grew more and more anxious, why wouldnt he just stop hurting himself like this and listen to you?

it wasnt long before rin snapped.

“do you really think im that weak?! besides, what i do to my own body is none of your business! youre just another obstacle in the way of my success, just leave me alone you lukewarm piece of shit, god damn it!” he shouted, his eyes filled with anger as he finally looked over to you.

that was when he realised he fucked up.

his heart ached as he saw hot tears streaming down your red cheeks. no, wait, he didnt mean it!

“please baby, wait, i didnt mean it. im so sorry i said that, please..” he immediately stopped what he was doing to run towards you, forcefully hugging you, frantically apologising.

you didnt say anything. you couldnt say anything. you were in disbelief — the man that you had loved with all your heart, the man that you cared for so deeply, wanted you to leave him alone? was this truly the way he felt about you? just an obstacle? a lukewarm piece of shit?

“baby please, i didnt mean any of that… its all my fault, i know you want the best for me. forgive me please… please, say something!” this time, rin was the one of the verge of tears.

“so that’s how you feel about me?… you want me to leave you alone?…” you managed to stutter out, trying hard not to start bawling on the spot. how could he say something so hurtful?

“fine. if that’s how you want it, dont contact me ever again rin, it’s over between us.”

you ran back to your car before rin could react and slammed the door shut, driving off to your shared apartment to pack your things and move out. you weren’t just angry, you were upset.

you couldnt believe this was how your relationship with rin was going to end. you always thought of rin as someone you would continue to love and care for, someone you would grow old with.

that night, rin laid on the grass in the stadium, looking up at the night sky, head filled with regrets, heart aching.

present

was it really worth it? rin always asked himself. sure, he managed to show to his brother that his soccer skills were excellent, but that didnt make him happy. in fact, after the two of you had broken up, nothing made him happy. how could he be happy without you? he was struggling to even live a day without you.

rin would spend countless sleepless nights scrolling through his photo gallery, looking at photos you had forced him to take with you. the poor man couldnt even sleep without your scent. he would often try and find old articles of clothing you had left behind around the house — it was the only way he could sleep, with your scent.

he would spend many hours training, even if there wasnt any upcoming matches. he was desperate to find any sort of distraction to distract himself from thinking about you.

some nights after training, he prayed that you would still be there outside the stadium, waiting to drive him home. he prayed that he could see you again, hear your sweet voice and hearty laugh again. he was so desperate to hear your voice again, he didnt care if he had to hear your nagging or your complaints, he just needed to hear you again, to see that pretty face of yours.

rin always thought about how foolish he was. before he met you, he felt that unfortunate things always happened to him. he always thought about how terrible and unlucky his life was. that was until he met you. you were like a blessing from heaven, an angel that came and brightened up his dull, lukewarm life. he wished he had known how to appreciate you earlier. if only he had opened his eyes and see how much you had loved and cared for him.

it feels like torture scrolling through your instagram page, seeing you move in with your new boyfriend, seeing you have dinner dates with him. he knows your new boyfriend treats you way better than he ever did, and he feels happy that your being taken good care of, but deep down, his heart was being ripped into shreds. it felt so wrong, but he couldnt stand the thought of you laughing, or smiling for another man. you were already moving on with life, getting ready to marry your boyfriend, and there was nothing he could do about it.

rin accepted that he could never be at peace with himself, especially since he had fucked up the only good thing in his life. it was too late for regrets, the only thing he could do now was make sure that you were safe and happy from afar.

———————————————————————————

thank you for reading!

word count: 1.2k

feel free to request!

please dont steal

@lingeringdesires505 2024

[sweetpinkchampagne]

sinful I

18+ readers only please lovelies!! (this is for a reason please listen<3)

little synopsis: the reader is tonys daughter (he had her young, canon doesnt exist) theres tension between you and stephen, an obvious age gap keeping you from eachother (26, 40). theyre 'trapped' in an elevator together and the tension crumbles.

pronouns: female pronouns are used

relationship: fem reader x stephen strange not established relationship

note: i do not know what possessed me to write this shit, i will not apologise. i love you <333

warnings: defined age gap, stephen being possessive, controlling smut, dd/lg kind offf, petnames

you could always tell when stephen strange was in a room you were in without even looking. he was the type of man who had one of those commanding prescenses, maybe it was his ego you thought to yourself. either way, for weeks you had continuously been trying to block him out of the forefront of your mind. but no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't shake his presence. it was like he was a part of your subconscious, a part of you that you never wanted to acknowledge.

you knew that you had to find a way to cope with his presence or it was going to drive you crazy. you had to find a way to remove him from your thoughts. you had to find a way to make him go away. you could swear he knew how infatuated you were with him, how you’d drift off in meetings with thoughts of him racing through your mind. you wanted to wipe that god awful smirk off his face, and the way he looked at you like a starving wolf. that look terrified you, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your stomach flip. fucking Christ.

he was 40 years old. the thick grey streaks that run through his tousled hair becoming prominent. he carried himself with authority, his body language conveying strength and confidence. his eyes were sharp and focused, his expression serious and determined. you shook him out of your thoughts, standing in the empty elevator, holding a binder you were supposed to speak about at an avengers meeting. something important about presenting to the government. it was an important event, not the type of meeting you’d show up to in your training gear. your eyes met his shiny leather dress shoes. shit.

“stark.” he confidently spoke in his baritone voice nodding at you, his scarred hand extending to hold the elevator open before he stepped in silently, standing tantilizingly close to you. closer than any other coworker would.

“oh. good morning, stephen.” you spoke back softly, anxiously tapping your foot. it wasn’t the meeting you were anticipating. you were met with silence as he pushed the button to go to the floor of the meeting you were both attending. the elevator slowly went up. 

“you seem nervous, stark.” he looked straight ahead, not making eye contact with you. 

“just not a public speaker, that's all.” you managed to squeak out. you could tell he was smirking, that sick bastard knew what he was doing. you couldnt. you were only 26, and here you stood head over heels for some magical doctor who’s ego towers over him. suddenly the sound of clanging pipes could be heard followed by a deafening screeching. the elevator came to a halt, but the doors stayed closed. stephen scoffed and hit the ‘open door’ button. nothing. he chuckled under his breath. 

“we can miss this meeting. oh please no.” you started pressing the button as you panicked.

“oh come on darling, it’s not as if this is the worst situation in the world, is it?” he stood facing you. darling. get fucked. 

“i don’t know what game you’re playing, strange. now could you just portal us out of here?” you checked your watch. “we’re 7 minutes late.”

“i don’t have my sling ring on me, not exactly something you bring to an all-important government meeting, now is it?” you sighed, that sarcastic attitude would be the death of you. 

“why don’t we just sit tight, mm? nobody is going to come save you, they’re all busily writing notes on something some superfical united nations member has to say.” he stared into your eyes, clearly unbothered. you nodded, what else could you do? you were stuck. slowly backing against the metal back panel of the elevator, you slowly slid down in defeat, sitting on the cold metal with your legs stretched out. he did the same. 

“wouldn’t want to dirty that suit.” you mumbled, annoyed that you were here, stuck with the last person you’d want to be in a confined space with. 

“wouldn’t want to dirty that pretty little dress. oh. that’s right, daddy will just buy you a new one, won't he?” te bit back. being tony’s daughter had its perks, but many people mistook you for a spoiled brat. 

“what, you tight on money or something, strange? need me to spot you? buy you lunch?” you scoffed. he laughed, loosening his tie and sighing from relief. you crossed your legs in response, he's almost your fathers age, why are you pressing your thighs together? jesus - you thought to yourself. 

she looked over at him, his collar was turned up on one side after he loosened his tie. you leaned over the cold metal floors and reached him. 

“oh here. let me fix this for you.” you whispered, stumbling as you ended up straddling him as you fixed his collar, his hot breath fanning your face as you were inches away from eachother. 

“hi darling..” he whispered seductively. you were burning red, your mouth slightly parted as you sat there flushed and frozen. 

“dont get all shy on me now, hm?” he laughed, his scarred fingers reaching to trace the side of your jaw. 

“stephen.. we can’t. it would be wrong. this is sinful” you whispered against his lips. 

“then why does it feel so right? i see the way you look at me. the way your breath hitches in your throat when i walk in front of you. the way you stumble over your words when you speak to me. tell me this is wrong one more time, and I’ll leave. we'll stop.” he stated, looking at your lips and then gazing back into your eyes. you kept your eyes on him and your heart raced. you knew that what you were doing was wrong, but you couldn't help it.

you wanted to stay. he was hypnotizing, it was cruel. you launched closer into his embrace, kissing him passionately as if he was the last man you’d ever kiss. he groaned softly into your mouth in shock but quickly moved one hand up the side of your hips and the other was holding the side of your cheek. you felt a warmth spread through your body as his lips moved against yours, and you felt yourself getting lost in the moment. you pulled away reluctantly, your heart still pounding as your eyes met his. 

he lingered there for a moment, and then his lips curved into a knowing smile as he slowly pulled away. he was aware of your attraction and you were both enjoying it. he rested both of his hands on your lower back, holding your hips as you were sitting in the same position. he slowly moved you forward, rocking you, the friction was you were grinding on him creating warmth and longing to be touched. you were inexperienced, shy. no man had ever made you feel like this and you couldnt help but softly moan into his ear and he moved you. he did all the work, picking up the pace and praising you. 

“that feels good, huh baby? oh fuck. keep making those pretty noises for me. anyone ever made you feel like this?” he groaned, watching you sinfully as you rocked your lips back and forth against his lap. you closed you eyes in embarrassment. the answer was no. you shook your head gently, rocking against him, mewling.

"atta girl" he groaned in your ear.

“oh stephen..shit.” you moaned, louder than before. he grabbed your waist, stopping you. 

“keep moving, and i won't be able to stop. at least let me be a gentlemen” he scooped you up and slid his sling ring out of his coat pocket. 

“you dirty liar!” you scoffed in his arms as he opened a portal.

“oh come on sweetheart, you know i always have it on me.” he chuckled, walking through the portal. you were in his bedroom. the dark oak panelled walls of the sanctum were glossy and rich. the 4 post bed was the star of the room, overshadowing everything else. he laid you down on the bed. part of you expected him to be sweet and gentle with you, caring almost. tt was almost as if he could read your mind. 

“i’m bad for you baby. i want to be selfish with you, i’ve wanted this for so long.” he said as he threw his suit jacket to the floor and the clinging of his unbuckling belt made you whine.

"be a good girl for me, yeah baby?" you were about to lie on your stomach so he could unzip your dress, but without hesitation he knelt straddling you. He placed his scarred hands on the neckline of your dress and ripped it down the middle as if it was paper.

[24kmar]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 (𝐏𝐭.2 𝐨𝐟" 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐚")

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Toxic!Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: This takes place after the argument matt and y/n had. She finds herself wondering if what she did was right. This then leads to her self reflecting, then one night at an influencer party she went with tara (tara yummy) she sees matt. What happens when she realizes that he just wants to love her.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Reader is kind of a bitch 😭 but she redeems herself 🙏🏻, suggestive content, language, ANGST with a happy ending, toxic situationship, reader being in denial about loving matt, jealous matt, drugs(weed), MDNI, let me know if theres more!!

Readers perspective

I sighed as i shut the door to matts place. Why did he have to make this so difficult?. I made it clear this was just fucking when it started, so why now did he feel the need to make it an issue? I mean it was working so why not leave it that way, right? Dont fix whats not broken.

I didnt understand why he was being so fucking sensitive. 'Fuck this' i thought as i got into my car and drove out of the driveway. I really needed a blunt after this shit.

As i pulled into my driveway my phone buzzed, 'Fuck' i thought as i suspected it was matt. But no, it was... nick?

As i saw his contact appear on my phone, i opened our messages. To which read "Hey y/n/n did something happen between you and matt orrr?". What the actual fuck? "Why?" i texted back to which he replied "cause hes a fucking wreck in his room rn and hes not talking to me or chris" followed by "and his doors locked".

Guilt. Immediate guilt is what i felt when i read that. Did i really do this to him? Nah, couldnt have been me, i mean how much importance could a fuck buddy hold. Not much....right? Some days passed by as i heard nothing from matt.

Was this the end of us? For some reason that thought caused a pang in my chest. But why? "Heartburn or some shit' i thought, quickly dissmissing the thought and shoving it into to the back of my brain.

Tara had texted me begging me to come with her to some influencer party. ' Why not' i thought, god knows i needed it. Any chance at drinking and smoking i got right now i would take. After all thats happend with matt, i desperately need it.

I decided to wear this outfit to the party with boots. As me and tara got off the car as we arrived to the party, i realized how packed the house was. And loud as shit. Im gonna regret coming here.

I got a drink immediately as i got in the house. As tara ventured off into the house, i stayed in a corner desperately wanting to leave. Then some guy, brian, brandon, braydon? Some shit like that, came of to me. "Oh brother' i thought as this fuck boy walked over to me.

"What's good, im braylon." he said while smirking. Ick. I just shrugged looking away, not wanting to interact with this moron. "Cmon baby, dont be like that" he said tugging on my wrist. " yo back the fuck up" i hissed yanking my wrist out of his grasp. "Dont be a fucking bitch about it," he snarled "if you're gonna dress like a slut, dont be suprised when you get treated like one". Oh fuck no. "The fuck you just say to me" i scowled sizing him up. "I said-" he started, but getting cut off by Matt. "Back the fuck up, man." He said pulling me behind him while getting in between me and braylon.

"What? This slut your bitch?" He chuckled. Oh fuck. "Shit is about to go down" i thought as i saw matts jaw tense and his fists clench. "The fuck you just-" matt started as i cut him off. "Drop it matt, hes not fucking worth it" i said through gritted teeth getting nervous. "Yeah listen to your bitch" braylon continued as i sent him a warning glare. Feeling matt stepping closer to braylon, i grabbed him a pulled him back. "Matthew, fucking drop it, now" i said getting infront of him pushing him backwards then turning him around to walk infront of me as i pushed on his back to make him walk. Leading him to a secluded room in the house.

"Look, i know i fucked up with what i said. I shouldnt have done that and i get it if you're still mad at. I shouldnt have put you in that position-" he started. "Matt, im sorry" i cut him off, again. "What?" His brows furrowed.

"I shouldnt have said those awful things to you," i said taking a deep breath as i was about to confess to this kid "i was just fucking terrified at the fact that i may have been catching feelings" i said looking up at him, searching for any emotion.

"I am so fucking sorry-" i got cut of by a kiss. As he pulled away, we both starting laughing like fucking idiots. "You like me" he smiled like a middle school boy who just had his first kiss. "Shut up, i take it back" i laughed, rolling my eyes jokingly.

"Denial is a river in egypt babe" he shrugged. "Oh fuck you" i laughed shoving him.

Its safe to say, we weren't just fuck buddy's anymore. Maybe this wasnt a bad idea.

[pandoraroid]

listening to vincent's playlist and it is an,,, experience,,,

take this all with a grain of salt pls dont come @ me

to quote a comment from this video: the fact that we know what's coming makes this both terrifying and heartbreaking. couldnt have said it better than myself 😔😔😔😔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i love him so much,,, he tries to distract the listener,,, he tries to comfort them so bad soshksjsks HE'S SO SWEET AND EVERYTHING

"do you wanna hold my hand?" HAND IN MARRIAGE SIR? SURE

he is an adrenaline junkie i need a man like him in my life he's just like me fr

"one last ride, right?" NO 👹 S T O P DONT BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS

though how is he the only rider they never found??? what how did he get dislodged from his seat or something??? i must be dumb i dont get this all of a sudden 🧍‍♀️

love the intro 😚 the messages on the cassette tapes are so heartwarming and reassuring djgdjdhd

okay that "boo" actually scared the shit out of me is it safe to assume that this is the same amusement park he was in in the previous video?

if that's the case, does he just,,, chill in here at random??? god that is so,,,

"demons(?) are very much real" BRO ARE WE SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT?

"oh i know i'm close. you're welcome" WHEWWWWWW JESUS FUCK LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH

"little one" okay fuck i'm melting YOUR VOICE SIR got me kicking my feet and blushing fr

lovely has an attitude 😁😁 stay strong soldier

he calls them beautiful AND DARLING? even if it was a bit of a throwaway JESUS 🫠

"your safety is paramount" "be safe, little one. good night." why does this make him so much hotter jesus what is wrong with me HE EVEN LEADS THEM BACK TO THEIR CAR (bareminimumenjoyer?!?! me?!?!? look away)

"you're not looking for another paranormal hunk are you? that would break my heart :(" SIR

no seriously why is bro here

"foreplay takes two y'know" SIR

is he getting them to believe in the supernatural what what is his goal,,,

"should i strip down for easier access, doctor?" WRAP IT UP

his voice omfg immelting just imagining the scene,,, onlovely'sbedbeingclosewithhimohmyfuckinggod

he's so goofy for just tapping on his fangs like that lmao

DID HE JUST PIN THEM DOWN TO THE BED WH A T

SIR WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DID HE SERIOUSLY NEARLY JUST???? WHA T

"no one has had this effect on me" NO SHIT????

"you're safe with me. i won't lose control." thank you for that but if the next video's title is any clue, that will not age well ( i mean you on the other hand don't get to age at all so 🤷‍♀️ IM KIDDING)

"i'm not going to mess this up." you won't babes (at least i think you wont) i'd give anything to give him a hug or something

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH THIS ISNT MY MAN

oh the warnings 😃 mentally preparing myself now

lovely what the fuck are we doing here

"beautiful little bloodbag" oh hey a pale sleazy talking punchbag

"oh relax i'm just touching you" and if i may touch my fist to your face in a fast and strong way, you're gonna relax then bitch

WAIT DID HE TRANCE US???

i am well aware a human is no match for a vampire but that will not stop my audacity to try which dare i say levels up to his for touching me and talking shit about vincent

"all i had to do was wait for your human brain to make a decision this stupid." it seems that your expired vampiric brain has also made the stupid decision to breathe in my direction

to be fair on vincent, we have met each other exactly two times and neither of us (especially him) could have known how our previous meeting would end. i don't need to be near you for five minutes to know you're a little bitch

DID YOUR CONCEPT OF PERSONAL SPACE DIE WITH YOU THE FIRST TIME GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE BITCH

MY MAN IS HEREEEEE he's not gonna be mad lovely came here is he

HE PUNCHED HIM HAHAHAHA he did it for me fr

HIS VOICE GOD am so weak for him

MAKING OUT WITH US ALREADY??? GOOD GOD

lovely checking on him too ☹️☹️☹️ my goober fr

"i dont think you're gonna like what you found" oh dang you're like me for real

MY MAN

the way he says "little one" will never not get to me omg AND THEN HE SAID BABY IN THAT VOICE??? GOD

vamp eyes go black when theyre hungry(?) got it noted

so lovely got tranced and vincent is needs to feed on them right after???? did i get that right??? GOOD GOD GIVE EM A BREAK???

"i cant drink from your neck... no not yet not like this..." PROPS TO HIM FOR HAVING PROPRIETY LOVE MY MAN FR

"this will mark you as mine" GIVE IT HERE but at the same time ALREADY????

oh good lord he's feeding from our wrists now okay

hang in there lovely patpat u're gonna be okay (i hope they will be VINCENT)

aw those little kisses though

noooooo vincent 😭???

neways,,,

jfc these two put me on a ride (haha get it)

vincent is slowly becoming my new crush 🤭 but jfc lovely better get good u got this babes

will stop here for now bc i need a break 🧍‍♀️ when will i continue who knows

[thatcheeseycandle]

SPOILERS FOR YIAU: IPOS CHP. 38, "6XX66 - Merry Hampton"

——

Hi hello, currently me before posting this looking over the post to add in stuff I couldnt type down, so sorry for the delays on promised posts considering I'm at a hotel with my parents to visit family)

But thankfully by the time I'm posting this, it's the last day before I go home tomorrow so hopefully I can speedrun some projects to throw them here

And ah the the paragraph with a bold font will explain why this reaction was so late

——

//IM IN THE CAR AS OF STARTING THIS, HEADING BACK TO THE HOTEL (CAUSE YEAH I WENT TO ONE WITH MY PARENTS TO VISIT FAMILY), I REBLOGGED THE CHAPTER

ITS HERE OHMYGOAPAHADNAUAHOAH

IM EXPLODING SO MUCH IM HOLDING IN SO MUCH-

AND WE START IT OFF WITH TYDFIL WOOOOOOOOOOOO

AAAAAANDDD I HAD TO FRESHEN UP, OKAY LETS CONTINUE YEAH

Tydfil TYDFIL AH NOO :(

Current me here, insert a bit where I go silent reading and how I dont know how to word my thoughts in this. I remember my feelings being mixed between guilt and anger towards Merfyn 6024

Fuck wait ITS BLACK SMOKE AH NOOOOO SNAP OUT OF IT TYDFIL

"She felt like her boiler was about to up off her frames in fright" HOLY GOD????? CHRIST SOMEONE HELP THE POOR GIRL SHES HAD ENOUGH-

NO TYDFIL NO NO DONT DO THAT TO YOUR BRAKES EVEN MORE NOO

"She wanted her comforting reassuring presence but every time she called out to the old, kind engine there was no answer. Tydfil truly was alone." MY GOD. THIS. AAAAAAMYGOD

NOTYDFIL NO THEY ARENT GONNA BE AFTER YOU NO NO IS ALL OKAY- NO TYDFIL NOOO

OI STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER OR I SWEAR TO GOD

What the

OH.

Ay ay AY HENRY??? HENRY ITS HIM LETS GOOO

This is a very interesting pair up, now Im curious how this goes👀

"This had to be some sort of trick, right? This Henry was tricking her, trying to decieve her like all the rest." nO NOO NO HE ISNT

BUT SHIT SHE ISNT GOKNNA BELIEVE THAT, SHES TRAUMATISED ENOGUH

Yet again, current me before posting this here, I loved this scene between Tydfil and Henry where it's just mainly dialogue (until Tydfil breaks it with her audacity LMAO) its a relaxing sort of scene to read. Especially after the whole adventure that is me and my parents making our way back to the hotel room lol

"What's the point of this?! This is stupid!" tYDFIL LMAOOO TYDFIL YOU NEEDA CALM YOUR SHITE

"Edward speaks highly of you" FUCK YEAAAHHHHH THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE TYING EACHOTHER AND ARE USEFUL WOOOOOOO

LOVE IT

"Why would someone try to hurt me if I was a good engine?" GOSH DAMN. DAMN I

THE FIRST SHOT, PREPARING MYSELF

Now that THATS REAL TALK, POSITIVE REAL TALK, APPLAUSE FOR HENRY RQ CAUSE DAMN

And this is another unique dynamic I look forward to seeing in the future, I cant describe the feeling of it but Im getting uncle and niece vibes from them, but either way I LOVE EHM

wHAT THE FUCK

RHION AY ITS RHION ITS HIM

FUCK RIGHT, BLACKSMOKE, YEAH.

"The Black Smoke, or whatever Ms Parsons had done to him had completely and utterly stripped him of any warmth, any hope, any semblance of warmth" Ms Parsons when I catch your arse WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU I SWEAR TO GOD

Okay yeah Im gonna appear a lot from the current, this scene, my heart ACHED I tell you ACHED. RHION YOU POOR SOUL (I was speechless in this)

No no RHION HE ISNT YOUR BROTHER ANYMORE

Okay well he never fuckin was

WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT AND/OR WHO IS THIS

Current me, I dropped my reading device, and I nearly fell off the bed in this

DROP THE FUCKING SHITE WHAT

BUT HES- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OONNNN??????????????????????????

NO RHION NOOOOAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO BO DONT YOU FUCKING DO THIS NO NOOOOOOOOO

MALLARD I SWEAR TO GOD

WHAT????? WHAT WHAT HUH

NOAOAOAOAOOOOAOAAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAOSOAOAOOOOO RHION NAOAOOO FUCK NOOOO

HE CANT BE FUCKING DEAD NO. NO HE CANT PLEAAAAAASSEEE

Summary of that rant to this bit: FUCK YOU 6024 AND MS PARSONS, I WILL BE AFTER YOU I SWEAR TO GOD

Okay OKAY YEAH. LETS GO INTO THE NEXT BIT.

What the fuck- WAIT WAAIAPSHSNAKABDDKHFBDOSHDHDXJ

POLLYPOFLTAJAOSBDLZGCNSIFN

CALM, CALM OKAY CALM.

What the fuck WHAT THE FUCK WHAY FUAOAKAPPAPAOAAOAO WHAT WHAT

WHERE THE FICK IS POLLY???????????????????

Ay AY A\Y AY AY AY ITS THE BOOK THE JOURNAL FIAUAPDJNDIABHDS

ITS THE BOOK OHMYGOD

ITS NORTHS JOURNAL

THIS IS OUR VERSION OF THE GRAVITY FALLS JOURNALS. OH MY GOD.

Norths sealshspa NORTHS SEAL???????????

NORTH AHS A FUCKING SEAL?????????

Now this is a detail I'll be keeping an eye out for if there are more GNJournal entries (or anything that shows North's journal) coming

MERYEGAKAPAUSVZVUKAOSXHDJCJCJCJUUUUJH

MERRY HAMPTON

OKAY WERE HERE

THIS IS HAPPENING

OKAY

TORN?????? RORN

ToahhaISHSKAJ

OKAY YES, RIGHT

I swear if its black smoke, I SWEAR- PRAYING THOSE FEELINGS ARENT THAT. NOT AFTER LAST TIME

"Yet, Olivia had the very distinct feeling that the answers lay within this journal." nO SHIT SHERLOCK OHMYGOAOHA

Necklace NECKLAAIAOAOAAIAHSAO NECKLACE ITS THE NECKLACE ITS THE RAVEN PENDANT IM FUCKING CALLING IT

FUCKWUAYDKAAA MY NINAGS COMIG SHITSHITSHITSHIT

Okay Im on the roof deck, dark mocha latte for the evening, LETS MAKE THIS EVENING BETTER

Ay AY WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS POLLY APOLOGISING WHY ARE YOU APOLOGISING OHMYGOD WHY DID YOU SAY THAT??????

So wait. Let me get this straight before I go bonkers; North doesnt have one journal but many journals for each engine he's most likely revived, and the first GNJournal entry we saw was actually Merry Hampton's journal/record

Thats. THATS ACTUALLY SMART HELLO?? North is upping his game right here, a true researcher!

What the fuck. WAIT. WHAT THW FUCK IS THIS?? THERES A DATE. WAIR WAIR-

IS THIS LIKE HOW EVERY OAGE IS, IT HAS LIKE A "GWR: [], LMS: [], LNER [], SR [], etc" TYPE THING??

Wait, whats with SR here?? Ill be noting that down, thats suspicious

Stanier tried saving him. I

HE TRIED SAVING NORTH, HOLY GOD

So they used black smoke, SO THIS PROVES THAT BLACK SMOKE IS ACKNOWLEDGED TO BE SOMETHING GOOD. LIKE AS IN IT CAN BE USED TO RELIEF PAIN LIKE PAIN KILLERS.

HOLYFUCK STANIER KNEW MORE INTO GOLD DUST??????? HE KNEW????????? FAILED EXPERIMENTS?????????? WHATTHEFUCK DOES THIS MAN KNOW HOLYGOD

OKAY SO, SIR GRESLEY KNEW THEN PASSED IT TO PEPPERCORN THEN WAS PASSED TO STANIER. Im guessing Peppercorn wouldve done it around the time before, during, or after Sir Gresley had passed considering the flashback in Chp. 26 where Sir Gresley and North were talking about the war

Oh shit. So Stanier was dying- HE WAS DYING. FUCK THIS IS THRILLING AND TENSE

THE COTTAGE WAS HIS???????? OKAY SO ITS BASICALLY A STUDENT BECOMING A MENTOR TO KEEP THE CYCLE GOING FOR OTHER STUDENTS TO BECOME A MENTOR, CONTINUING THE LINE OF KNOWLEDGE.

So that confirms one of my smaller theories, Stanier was indeed a mentor to North (that was just a theory out of shits and giggles..)

WOAH SHIT OKAY UH WEEW. LNER ROSE UP REAL FAST.

Oh OH. DAMN.

No fucking way NO WAY HE KNEW ALAN PEGLER??????? Okay well he did know the A1 Trust anyway, so why am I surprised LMAOO BUT I MEAN IT STILL IS HALF A SURPRISE

No NO WHAT WDYM WHATAAA WHAT WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT

WAIT SO, THSI MEANS THAT A CORONATION HAS A REVIVED CONTRUCT. ONE FO THEM.

Golden Circle GOLDENCIRLAGAKAOAAH

SO HE WAS INDEED IN THE GOLDEN CIRCLE.

EughFOCK OKAY THE LNER IS STILL IN FIRST PLACE.. IM WORRIED

WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT.

WAIT WAIR, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

Cause look, from what I know, there are a decent amount of Wardens for the LMS around that time period, humans and engines.

It. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE WHAT THE FUCK

"The Black 5 if furious and threatens to crack my skull open." Surprisingly the most normal threat North has recieved so far. Damn.

Wait WAIT. HE ISNT A RUNAWAY??? HES NOT- HES A KICKED OUT MEMBER, IS WHAT IM UNDERSTANDING FROM THIS.

IFUCKINGCAAAAALLEDDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD I CALLED IT. SIR GRESLEY STARTED IT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fuck wait WAIT WHAT. WELL FUCK OKAY THATS VERY BAD. BAD.

"Perhaps that was all it ever was, a dream." GOSH DAAMN. DAMN OKAY

I AM GETTING MORE CONCERNED AS I READ THIS.

Okay a one month timeskip, WHATTHEFUCK

WHAAT. 25?????????????

I

I CAAAALLEDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD YEAAAASSSS YES YESSSSSSSSSSS LETS GOOOO

ENGINES SAVED BY WORKMEN BY THEM HIDING SAID ENGINES YEAAAAAAAAASSSS

Rooster. OKAY SO THAT CONFIRMS IT, ROOSTER CAME AFTER NORTH DID. OKAY GOOD. THATS YEAAASSS

J CLASS MENTION WOOOOOOOOO

Wair WAIT WAIT PEPPERCORNS. WAIT SO. WAAAAIT. WAIT WAIT OHMYGOD WAIT

THIS DOESNT CLEARLY CONFIRM IT, BUT IT MIGHT BE HINTING AT HOW KESTREL/KHLOE IS A REVIVED CONSTRUCT RN

But but, it still raises the question, WHAT WERE THEY REVIVED WITH??? WAS IT WITH GOLD DUST OR ARE THEY SILVER SOULS?????????

Wait FIGHT?????? HOLYGOD THERE WAS A WAR. THERE

ANARCHY, OF COURSE IT WOULDVE HAPPENED

So then. Okay SO NORTHS GOAL; SAVE SIBLINGS

I

——

Okay so ah, before I continue this, let me just say this:

The next bits I reacted to were just WIPED OUT by tumblr when I tried saving it yesterday in my drafts, but thankfully Im running on naps, caffiene, and some hours of sleep cause I know I forgot how I reacted and what I did react to (considering this was a first read so yeah)

As of writing this little explanation it's the second day I'll be staying here at this hotel before going home, starting up back the reaction below this paragraph at around 5 am rn (wow I woke up early, not complaining though)

So basically LETS CONTINUE THIS REACTION FROM WHATS BEEN LEFT, RUNNING ON HOPES AND DREAMS EDITION!

——

Oh OH SEPTEMBER 16TH

THATS POLLYS SCRAP DATE ISNT IT??

And IT FUCKING IS LETS GOO

WOOOOOOOOO LETS GO NORTH ANOTHER WIN

I POLLY?? Okay well of course shes doing that, its North, I think we all know she has a reason to be upset at him

Yet again, crossing off another thing that seemed impossible yet was possible, North believing things such as myths and beliefs circulating around an engine.

But then considering he has the logic to not believe in such things without a proper reason, maybe this is actually hinting at something Merry has?? Im guessing its something related to black smoke or some sort of “gold dust technique” (what the fuck am I saying)

BUT either way I still have my suspicions about her soul (both how it is in the present and past times)

Cause for some context, Ive had a theory (for a while) that Merry (or Jacqueline in the present) had black smoke inside her soul for a while in a way where Blue Peter had his black smoke stored, but in a way where it’s the cause of her cruelty as a parent.

But that was a scrapped theory since I had another theory involving Silver souls, her being one of those said silver souls in that theory.

Anywho CONTINUIJG ON LMAO

AND LETS GOOOO NORTHS GONNA SAVE HER YESSSS

But then, it would scrap my Silver Soul theory for Merry considering she hasn’t died, is what Im understanding here

“Rooster was appalled and almost threatened to kick me off his farm, a farm that I finance, I might add.” Now this sentence mADE ME WHEEZE

Ay AY AY WAIT SO SHE ISNT DEAD. OKAY RIGHT YEAH, SHE ISNT DEAD

“Merry Hampton is my sister after all.” DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE, DEVELOPMENT‼️ ‼

OH LOOKY HERE 30TH OF OCTOBER LETS GOO

IFUCKINGCALLEDIT YEEEAAAAAAASSSS YES STANIER DID HELP YEEASSSSS

AND OOH BOY NOT IN THE WAY I EXPECTED.. THIS HAS TURNED A LOT

Wait WAIT CONSTRUCG???? CONSTRUCT??

“Would go insane” and “Vessel for despair” intrigue me, cause that sounds like cold iron sleep-

Well I mean it in a way where the insanity could be where your denial of facing death leads to a spiral of insanity that makes them face it even closer, and how “vessel for despair” could be interpreted as a vessel for black smoke to feed on their despair of facing death

Okay shit I just backread a bit SO MERRY DID INDEED DIE. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WHEN DID SHE DIE???

Waoh WOAH WOAH WOAHAIAOAAHAHA ITS THE SPILLED THING ITS THE SNEAK PEAK OHMHGODOSHAOAA

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

THE FIRST GNJOURNAL IT MAKES SENSE NOW

MERRY AND POLLY WERENT SAVED TOGETHER NO MERRY WAS INDEED SAVED OR WAS ATTEMPTED TO BE SAVED BUT NORTH FUCKED IT UP BY GIVING HER A CRUDE CONSTRUCT AND SO THAT LEAD TO HER HAVING TO BE IDK SENT AWAY FROM HIM??

AAY AY AY LOOK ITS THE OHMFYAO

SIR GRESLEY??????? HARMING HERSELF????????? WHAT?????????

AY WAIT. SO BLACK SMOKE WAS INDEED KNOWN TO BE A PAIN KILLER OF SORTS FOR ENGINES. OKAY NOTED

Coldstreamer. CODLHEAKAPA COLDSTREAMER OHMYGOD

KINGFISHER??????????????????? WAIT SOLARIO??????????

COUNTERPART TO SCOTSMAN- BITCH I THOUGHT MALLARD WAS HIS COUNTERPART OHMYHOD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SO MALLARD WAS INDEED KNPWN AS A HEALER BUT HIS MEMORIES WERE WIPED OF BEING ONE.

I just fuckin realized, Mallard was just a tool, a tool to relieve pain. When he wasn't a fellow bird enjoyer that is.

Thays. THATS SO DAMN SAD MYGO

If I knew that before reading aGS, it wouldve been even more sadder istg

WHAT THE FUCK. SO THOMPSON TRIED GETTING THOSE MEMORIES BACK BUT HE FUCKED IT UP BY DESTROYING HIS SOUL

ITS LIKE TRYNA GRAB A LITTLE BITE SIZED CANDY OUT FROM A TALL GLASS VASE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YOUR GONNA BREAK IT EITHER WAY.

HEAL MERRY HAMPTON’S CONSTRUCT??????????

Oh fuck Pollys not talking to him, shit

“All I have done is prolong her tortured existence.” YOU THINK??????? 

DAMN.

HUNDREDS???????? HUNDREDS. FOR EVERY RAILWAY. COUNT EVERY FUCKING RAILWAY AND MULTIPLY THE NUMBER OF THEM ALL WITH 100 MYGOD

Ay HOLD THE DAMN PHONE

HENDRICK WAS STORED IN A STOREROOM????

WHAT HAPPENED TO MALLARD- OH FUCK RIGHT THE YEAR

MEMORY??????? OHFUCK THEY MEMORY WIPED HER AS WELL.

Wait, black smoke feeds on any negative emotion (from what I understand), and memories can conjure said memories.

From that I can guess that Merry had black smoke used on her when reviving/reforming her into a construct but something went wrong and so CUE THE MUSIC

Woah WOAH WOAH THE LMS WARDENS, FROM THE THING, HOLYGOD

AND WAIT WAIT. SPION KOP OHMYGOD SPION

Wait, back in the server Loraine said that Spion Kop translates to Spy Head in Dutch, so then- OH.

OHIFUCKINGCAAALLEDDDDDITTTT MERRY DID HAVE BLACKSMOKE YEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSS

Pause rq cause JACQUELINE BYRON IS A COOL SOUNDING NAME HOLYGOD

Ay AY OKAY YEAH TIMESKIP TO ONE WEEK LATER LETS GO

I take it back its been five damn years..

Oh something's wrong, yeah NO WAY there isnt anything wrong cause THAT SOUNDS BAD. VERY BAD.

Wait. Marley Vaughan? That sounds familiar sec-

Okay I was wrong, that name doesnt belong to a GDC we know. Noting that down

Woah WOAH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT?? SPION WHAT HAPPENED????

Wait WAIT. OKAY SO- HOW. THE FUCK.

THATS WHAT IM ASKING AS WELL

Wait this would be 14 years before (from what I've conjured/theorised) Olivia was born, so does this mean she has a secret sibling or does she age slowly?? 

Ah FUCK OKAY. POLITICAL CORRUPTUON GEAH LETS DO THIS, LETS NOT GO CAUSE THAT US BAD YEAH.

HE WAS A JUBILEE?????????????????? NO. NO WAY FUCK NO. ALLISON RAY WHYY???????

“Though I do not think it was intentional on Arethusa’s part to give Merry a child” Buckle in, prepare for tough shit cause I SWEAR-

JEREMY PARSONS??????? HEREMYSAJAO JEREMY PARSONS. HOLYSHIT

STEAAAL?????????????????? STEAL. OKAY- FUCK WAIT. I MAY NOT JNOW HOW THIS JEREMY PARSONS IS RELATED TO MS PARSONS (COULD BE HER TWIN??) BUT SHIT THIS IS WHY MS PARSONS WENT FOR NORTH TO GET OLIVIA’S WHISTLE. TO CONTINUE WHATEVER JEREMY PARSONS HAD PLANNED.

HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHAT THE FUCK. HES DEAD. MYGOD AND WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN THE INFO THATS BEEN SHARED, SOMEONE GIVE THIS GUY A FUCKING FUNERAL MY GOD

TAKE MERRY????????????? TAKE MERRY. OHMYGOD TAKE MERRY??????

ANCHOR????????? ANCHOR, LADY, CREATOR, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY ON???????

“Never have I seen someone so unhinged.” I couldn't agree more with you North, cause WHAT THE FUCK

BLACK SMOEJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OHMYGODOAOA

OKAY THIS JSUT CLICKED IN MY MIND FOR YOU LOT TO NOTE, EVERYTHING I'M READING THAT COMES AFTER THE MARCH 8TH 1969 ENTRY IS MY FIRST TIME READING THEM.

I AM SHOCKED.

Thank GOD Hamilton and Allison came cause NY GOD THAT. THATS TENSE HOLYSHIT

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS YEAH GET HIS ARSE INTO JAIL RIGHT NOW, SERVES HIM RIGHT FOR DOING SUCH A THING

Wait. What the fuck- WDYM ARETHUSA AND I????? YOU JUST SAID HE WAS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??????

IS THIS A GHOST TYPE SITUATION?????

“She is with child and the baby is everything to her now” Jacqueline Byron Vaughan YOU TRAGIC WOMAN

“My curiosity is not higher than that of Merry’s happiness.” I am not strong, THIS SENTENCE RIGHT HERE-

AWWE. THATS JUST HEART WARMING, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO MERRY AND HER SWEET CHILD (I am melting, like Ive said, I AM NOT STRONG)

wHAT THE FUCK. WAIT WAIT- BLACK SMOKE??????? NO FUCK WHAT NO NO NO WHAT.

MADE HER ILL?????????? MEMORIES???????? OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHEN SOMETHING GRAND HAPPENS IT GOES DOWN HILL (WHY AM I SURPRISED??)

Remarkableblu

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJHVXHQSBJ CBSHVJ HEF HISFBC IM NOT NORMAL

AaaGYXQOHJXLSscBMVFJ  FSINBV SLVFEAIUFWFOWUDWULVVUYCDWTFURVHIVVYK.UUKUG  DQRNB.FWJJBMWF   P 2E

I NEED TO BREAARHE HOLY GOD. 

OLIVIAS MADE OUT OF GOLD DUST AND BLACK SMOKE. THIS IS WHY SHE COULD GO NEAR MALLARD IN AGS, BECAUSE SHE COULDNT BE CONTROLLED BY MALLARD'S BLACK SMOKE CAUSE SHE HAD HER OWN AND IT EXPLAINS HOW SCOTSMAN COULD SURVIVE IN HER BODY IN THE SAME SERIES.

AND THIS COULD CONFIRM HOW SHE HAD A HEART CONDITION, IT WASNT A HEART CONDITION, IT WAS BLACK SMOKE FIGHTING WITH HER GOLD DUST.

OLIVIAS A CONSTRUCT, A HYBRID CONSTRUCT, AND SO HER CHILDREN ARE THE HALF HUMAN AND HALF CONSTRUCT ONES NOT HER

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH YET QUESTIONS MUCH MORE.

[bitwynn]

Something worth more than this

A SAGAU Impostor AU Songfic

Song used: Peace and Love on the Planet Earth

So I'm not sure if you can tell but this is the songfic request i alluded to in the Not A Fan "Author End Notes". I'm planning to make this a two-parter considering the fact that my... i guess sort of "format(?)" , calls for me to only have one song per fic lol-- also because i, as i was mulling this over in my brain during the few days i couldnt write due to Life Circumstances, got a TONNNNN of ideas and have already made a bit of a whole perfect two parter story AHAHAH-- literally, the only part i fucked up in was which song to use first because i had two versions in my head. one that used Peace and Love first and another that used Mother Tongue first. I kinda just-- gave up on figuring out which song to use first and just looked at the request for the placement of the song lollll. I am still very sick as i write this so thats gonna be. Fun.

@jjovin321 this ones for you bud (no shit you requested it AHAHA--)

Blue for Barbara, Yellow/Gold for Zhongli, Green for Wanderer, Red for Diluc, Italics is Reader/General, Bold is Xiao, Combined is Everyone. Colors and effects only used for song parts mostly. Sometimes Italics will be used for emphasis and the like. Some lines will be altered slightly to better fit the story. Please read with this in mind.

---

"Hey, uhm... Li?" The man turns to you, a questioning look in his amber eyes. "Yes?"

Sheepish, you scratch your head. "This might be a weird ask but uhm..." What were you supposed to say to him? What can you even say to him?

You and your group were deep in the stone pillars and mountains that dotted Minlin, at risk from the Adepti that take residence in the area, but safe thanks to the fear and respect the people have thanks to these Adepti. You had suggested going through Huaguang Stone Forest thanks to its treacherous terrain that even your once-Vessels have trouble navigating, but Zhongli had pointed out the Adepti problem that you'd completely forgotten about.

You had tried to find a safer, and more Adepti-less route, but you all knew that the Millelith and the other Vessels would be crawling over every spot in Liyue they could cover. With that, you were forced to go to the belly of the beast.

Meaning, that because you were in such a highly dangerous area with not only the area itself being the problem, but also the beings residing in it, you shouldn't make these such... selfish requests. Hell, you were currently figuring out a way to go through Huaguang without gliding all over the place or swimming through the lakes that the stone pillars emerge from. Cloud Retainer or Mountain Shaper could just effortlessly pluck you out of the sky, and Ganyu could just freeze you to death underwater. You couldn't waste brainpower on such frivolous things.

But fuck-- you can't just tell them that 'oh hey guys, I'm really homesick and I constantly just wanna curl up into a ball and die! I miss everyone back home so much, please help me, it hurts so much!'

You had to stay strong. For you, and for them.

No-- no, you are strong. What you're trying to do is to just look strong and, god isn't that fucking hilarious? What use would looking strong be to these people? Wanderer watched you have a breakdown the first time you met because you ate his food, Barbara has seen you half dead way too many times for anyone to see anyone be half dead, Zhongli constantly throws you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes everytime you start getting chased, and Diluc was the one to teach you basic self defense which resulted in an ass beating everytime you spar.

These people, they've all seen you and each other at their lowest and weakest points. And they've never condemned any of you for being this way. It is, quite literally, just you and them against the world. So why feel ashamed to ask them of this one thing?

"Can you teach me how to use my powers?"

Their love and care and your complete and utter trust in them still won't stop you from trying to save at least a little bit of face though.

Zhongli takes a moment, cocking his head in thought. "Seeing as we're currently out of ideas on how to cross Huaguang without risk, or at least as little risk as we can afford... alright." He smiles a little to himself, old memories that you've never seen shining in his eyes. "Who knows, we may even find a way to cross safely as I teach you."

Your little group is currently situated in one of the hanging huts-- really, it was more of a little alcove that Zhongli carved out of one of the pillars. You still remember his pleased look as you watched him press his hand against the rock, and you gawked as the stone began to mold to his will. And now, that's what you're trying to recreate.

"Wait, wait, wait-- can you tell me that again one more time? I've been trying but, I'm not sure if I get it?"

Zhongli, as patient as a sage, nods and explains to you once again. "What I do when I mold and shape the earth is to connect with the Geo energy within it. As the earth is just Geo in a different form, I merely begin to impose my will upon it after the connection. It's--"

"Yes, yes, 'it's very similar to your own abilities to possess us as Vessels so maybe try to think of it more like that', we get it!" The Wanderer groans as he lounges at the lip of your alcove, disguised by a low hanging Sandbearer tree. His leg sways back and forth off the lip as he goes on. "At this point, I'm the one who's learning how to become the 'new Geo Archon' with how many times you ask him to repeat that."

"Bitch, the Avatar took 3 fucking seasons to learn fire bending! I have like-- 3 extra elements to learn here and I am literally just starting!"

The Wanderer merely gives you a side eye. "How long was the three seasons?"

"Like... 2 to 3 years? Maybe 4-ish?"

"How long have you been here?"

"...Couple months or so?"

He smiles.

"And how long did this 'Avatar' take to master each element?"

You feel yourself shrink. "Like... uh... couple months at most, I think."

His grin widens and he nods his head. "I rest my case."

"Hey, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"Now, calm down y/n," Zhongli starts, gripping your shoulder. "With enough time and guidance, you'll be able to handle Geo with the same ease as I do-- maybe more, considering your... special circumstances."

He brings your attention back to the rock you've been trying to bend for what feels like hours. "Maybe we should start with you. Because to me, it feels like you already understand the instructions and are capable of doing it. But, your way of going about it might be what's holding you back." He tilts his head. "What were you trying to do, y/n?"

You feel your face heat as you begin to squirm under his gaze. You take a breath, and sigh. "I... I wanted to make a guitar."

You had turned your eyes downwards to the rock, drawing spirals with your finger. "It's... It'd be nice to have something I can actually play." To have something of home. Even if its just a pale imitation of the one back there.

You feel his gaze soften as he comes closer. "Now... I think I see the problem here." Your own gaze doesn't lift, still staring at your twiddling fingers. "You sure?"

He hums. "Just a hunch, I suppose." He takes your hands and places them back on the rock. "I believe that... you were trying to meld the rock into a guitar but, were trying to do it all in one go."

You lift your head, Zhongli sounding like he had said these next few words millions of times before. "The shape you were conjuring is much too complex for someone of your skill level. But, that doesn't mean we can't make this."

He gestures back to the rock. "First off, simplify the shape of the item you're conjuring. Focus on the large main shapes. If I were trying to make a sculpture of a bird, then I would simplify it first into a small circle for the head, and then an oblong for the body."

You look back to the rock, connecting with its naturally occurring Geo energy. You take a calming breath and close your eyes to focus. "Then... if I were to simplify a guitar... it would be..."

You think back, way back to before you appeared here. Back to your normal life, with your friends and family. You think back on those afternoon jamming sessions with your friends as you'd sing and mess around and teach each other your instruments. You think back to the stories your father had told you, about wooing your mother with a serenade as he'd teach you one of the many songs he'd sing for you and for her.

You remember how you would tap, tap, tap on the guitar-- a makeshift drum as you jammed with friends. You remember the sting and the bite of the hard metal strings as your father taught you how to play a few songs. You remember playing the most basic of meme songs to troll your friends; loved ones leaving their own special marks on you and their guitars.

You smile as you think back to those happy memories way back then. "It would be... that weird sort of number 8 shape for the body..." You remember signing your name on the body of your friend's sticker covered guitar, and how you always gushed over how cool it looked. "...and the long-ass neck for the strings." You remember your father as he was stringing his guitar, how he always warned you to be careful with the E string as it was so thin and prone to snapping if tuned too tight.

You couldn't see it but Zhongli nods with a smile, watching you work. "Second, you add the larger details by redistributing the Geo around your structure. You could add more Geo by using the earth around you but, that's a lesson for another day. Now just focus on moving the Geo around. Back to my 'bird sculpture', I'd take some Geo energy from the main oblong body and move it to the head-- giving it eyes and a beak. I'd also slim the oblong body and make it more bird-like as I do so, moving the other extra Geo down to make feet."

You nod, trance-like as you dig deep in your memories.

The body would need to be hollowed of course, the extra Geo serving to fatten the neck a little and provide some detail to the head. Details like pegs, and tuners, and the little raised platform where the strings rested so they weren't completely flat on the fingerboard. And you can't forget about the frets, it wouldn't sound or feel right if you didn't have them.

You hum a little, the memories of old bringing a smile to your face. The pick guard needs to be a little below the soundhole-- afterall, that's where your hand'll hit when you start strumming. Speaking of strumming, the strings need a bridge to hold them down. Can't just have them attached to only the pegs or they'd be useless.

Zhongli chuckles, causing you to open your eyes. His smile is wide as he regards you with the softest expression, the corners of his eyes crinkling with pride. "Well... I was supposed to coach you on how to do some of the finer detail work but, it seems that I don't need to y/n." He nods at you, the rock in your hand feeling a little less like a rock.

You look down at it, and... "Oh my god. Oh, oh my god... Oh my god, Zhongli... I..."

There it was. An almost perfect copy of your friend's and family's guitar right in your hands. Actually, it would be more accurate to describe it as a fusion of the two instruments-- this guitar taking bits and pieces of the ones in your memories and bringing them to life here in Teyvat.

"Li... Li, I-- I'm so--" you take a deep, wet, shuddering breath. "I..." He merely brings you into a hug, you melting into his arms. "You did good. You did wonderfully, y/n."

You stay there together for a few moments, as you quietly fell apart in his arms. And with one final, shuddering breath, you pull away, looking up at him with a teary-eyed smile. "Thank... thank you, Li. I-- I wouldn't have done this without you." He huffs. "Only because I have an exceptional student."

You blush with praise as he inspects the guitar in your hands. You watch his eyes sparkle and widen, clearly impressed. "May I? Thank you." He lifts the guitar with your, admittedly, reluctant permission, careful fingers flitting about and checking over it. "I imagine that you want this to be a playable structure, yes? Because other than that, this is an impressive guitar structure."

He runs a finger across the strings, rock hard and immovable. "Honestly, the only thing you need to do is to change the composition of some of the material and it would be perfect! Of course, you'd most likely make adjustments to the thinness and thickness of the rock once you start hearing the sound, but overall-- this guitar is of exquisite make, y/n."

Zhongli hands you back your guitar. "I'm quite proud." You take it back, the blush slowly dying down on your face. "...Thanks."

Muscle memory overtakes your fingers as you press chords into the stone strings. The sting of your uncalloused fingers bringing bittersweet memories of your old life. "So... when will I learn to actually, ykno-- turn this into something playable?" "Oh, thats much too advanced for someone of your level, y/n."

The Wanderer bursts out laughing as you squawk in indignation. "WHAT THE FUCK?! That's directed to both of you by the way, but-- what the fuck?" "I'm merely saying that your control over Geo is impressive for someone who has, quite frankly, never done such a thing before. Even those with Visions could not have had that same sort of mastery at your level. But converting Geo into its other forms is a different beast than sculpting. You have to fundamentally change what form the Geo is currently taking-- much more different than moving it around with precision."

You hiss at Wanderer, who blows you a raspberry, as he keeps watch by the opening. Zhongli continues. "I as well, needed much time and practice to refine my control and ability over Geo and its many forms. I could adjust it for you but," He glances over to your silently fuming face, earlier so melancholic in its reminiscence. "I'm assuming you'd want to do it yourself. The next best thing if you want it now is to use the practice of alchemy to convert the sandstone into other materials. Alas, this is one of the few things I am not as knowledgeable on."

He glances to the rest of the team for help, who were peacefully just resting their tired arms and legs on a soft pile of leaves. Diluc speaks up from where he'd been using his folded coat as a pillow. "I've worked with the chief alchemist before on occasion and still remember those few moments where y/n used me to make 'character ascension' materials." He frowns in contemplation as he thinks back to those times.

"I remember that you'd be able to use the 'Dust of Azoth' to convert different kinds of pure, crystallized elemental energy into other elemental energy but, I'm not so sure if you'd be able to use it on... sandstone, you said?" Zhongli nods. "Yeah, there's a high likelihood of that not being able to happen. Dream Solvent is also a risky option, since it only works on 'boss drops' as y/n calls it."

"Well, they're dropped by bosses-- what else am I gonna call them?"

Barbara pipes up, chuckling at your remark. "The only other option I can think of is magic, but the only ones I know are mainly focused on Hydro and healing. But..." She trails off, twiddling her fingers from where she's using Diluc as a pillow. "If you're this proficient in just-- sculpting Geo, then maybe you'd also be that proficient in conversion too!" She suddenly turns sheepish as she scratches her head. "I mean... you are Overseer of Teyvat. There's no reason it wouldn't come easily to you."

"Yeah, its literally the entire reason we're wanted fugitives in every single corner of Teyvat." The entire mood of the alcove shifted as the Wanderer spoke, tone perfectly level as he sits on the edge; his back ramrod straight and legs still in the slowly blowing breeze. His voice is perfectly neutral, none of the usual snark or confidence or playful sass.

Something's wrong.

You kept your posture perfectly casual, fingers still playing with the stone strings of your guitar while in your head, you were scrolling through your weapons options to at least try and defend yourself from-- whatever it is that's alerted him. Everyone's doing something mostly the same, Barbara flipping through the pages of her Mappa Mare like it was just a regular atlas and not a weapon of mass destruction. Wanderer's fingers rapped on his bell, the movement making its clapper sway, its twinkling sounds deafeningly loud in your silence.

He kept his gaze forward, to the stones of Huaguang. Watching. Waiting.

Diluc casually laid a hand on his hip, as if it wasn't the perfect setup for a slash, and Zhongli merely poured himself a cup of tea, trusting in his power as Archon of the land.

Wanderer turns his head to the side and you see his eyes, casually taking in the beautiful scenery as if he wasn't looking for something. He begins to speak. "You know, it's rather pathetic for them to be chasing us down. Rather-- I think that its perfectly in character for them to do so. I mean," He shrugs with a scoff, cocky and insufferable. "are they that stupid as to not realize the differences between you and their 'Divine Excellency'?"

He's taunting them out.

You play along, the role of the 'Divine Deceiver' coming unnervingly easily to you. "Oh, please. They wouldn't recognize Lord Barbatos even if he descended with his godly form in their face. Oh wait--" The laugh that bursts out of your mouth is more of a cackle, the perfect lure.

And finally, the finishing blow-- "I... really didn't know, y/n. I'm sorry..."

Barbara, the perfect image of a confused girl who's lost her way.

"Oh, its alright Barbara," you coo, the whiplash from scheming cruelty to innocent dove almost certainly driving the hit home. "He was merely shirking his duties as the God of Mondstat! And for what? To get wasted every night at Angel's Share?" You scoot closer to her, Zhongli softly blowing on his steaming cup. "So, he's both a liar and an irresponsible god! But don't you worry Barbara, your Divine Overseer is here now." You let her take your hand and kiss it, the very image of reverence and worship.

Barbara nuzzles up to your hand, the tension almost palpable in the air as you all wait for the shoe to drop. Zhongli must've sensed your growing panic, speaking up into the silence. His eyes are soft as he talks. "Yes... thank you for your descent here to Teyvat, your grace." His face sombers, setting down his tea. "I've grown weak in my thousands of years of living, and have had to shirk my duties to my people just like that drunken fool."

He's done well to ease your panic, but it's only replaced by growing dread as he continues to talk. "I... I cannot thank you enough for forgiving me for my incompetence as Overseer of Liyue. I can only hope that my servitude to you will make up for that." Zhongli, whenever he plays his role, never quite lays it on this thick.

Though he's felt remorse and doubts when he stepped down from being the god of Liyue, he has never seen himself as incompetent or weak. He is, afterall, Morax the Warrior God and God of Contracts. Everything he does, he completes to absolute perfection. This self deprecation can only mean one thing.

Oh.

Oh, no.

It's Xiao.

A burst of black and green light-- Anemo energy, blinds almost everyone inside, Diluc and Wanderer still safe thanks to their positions. "Slander!" Xiao hisses. "This is slander and lies, Morax!" You claw at his arms as he grips you in a chokehold. "Do not listen to a single word that leaves this-- this charlatan's mouth!" Zhongli, if he wasn't already, sits straight up and his voice booms with a level of power and authority that none of you have ever heard before.

"Stand down, Xiao." This, this is Morax, the God of War himself speaking.

He summons his blade, the Primordial Jade Spear, and points the edge to your neck. Wanderer stands by the entrance, orbs of black Anemo in his palms and at the ready. Diluc is standing, the blinded Barbara behind him and Wolf's Gravestone at the ready. "Take it back."

You could almost feel the cool jade against your neck with how close its getting to you. "Take it all back Morax-- they're just lies that this vermin," Xiao practically spits the insult out like phlegm. "has wormed into your head." Morax's eyes narrow as he rises, his height making him tower over the Vigilant Yaksha.

"I will not repeat myself again. Stand down, General Alatus."

Xiao bristles, tightening his hold on both you and his spear. You choke as the already agitated yaksha fumes, blade and hand mere moments away from taking your life. He stands his ground against the sheer authority rolling off Morax in waves. "No. No, I will not stand down. I will not stand down, Grand Marshal!"

Morax's eyes narrow as he summons his own spear, the Vortex Vanquisher. "No. No, what I will do, Grand Marshal, is to take this impostor," he speaks the insult with such venom. "before the Divine Overseer's throne not because I want whatever reward they're offering-- no. I am doing this because this faker has clearly poisoned your mind, Morax!" He turns to the rest of the tiny cave. "They've poisoned all of your minds with their lies!"

"I am doing this for the good of Liyue, Rex. For the good of Teyvat!"

And for a moment, his rage ebbs into something like desperation. "Please, understand-- I am doing this for you, I am doing this because of my contract and my duty to protect and serve you and Liyue and the people. Please..."

His eyes soften with sorrow, Morax melting away back into Zhongli as you choke and gasp for air in Xiao's grip. "I am afraid that there are many things you do not yet understand, Alatus."

And Xiao's rage returns, climaxing into a roaring burst of Anemo energy.

"Disappear!" And he left just as he came, with a burst of black and green Anemo energy, Diluc and Wanderer stumbling as they had lunged after you to no avail.

-

You're currently high in the air above the stone pillars of Huaguang Stone Forest, Xiao having shed part of his human form to free the more beastial parts of his Adepti form-- A large and beautiful pair of dark green wings, shimmering golden in the sunlight. The sight of his wings would've been a wonder to look at as you flew through the sky, if you weren't currently hanging by his talons with his spear still pressed to your neck. The threat of death does certainly ruin the whole experience.

The pressure of the blade to your neck is light as you squirm. "Let me go, Xiao!" He tsks. "Believe me, I'd love to just let go of you and watch as you splatter against the rocks and erase your feeble mortal existence from this world. But, I'm going to present you, you impostor, to the Divine Overseer so that they may properly judge you for your blasphemy against them."

You squawk in fear and indignation. "I MEAN'T LIKE-- PUT ME DOWN SAFELY AND LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Another tsk. "Just keep your mouth shut lest I change my mind." You gasp in indignation. "You wouldn't dare!" You cling onto his talons anyways.

It seems like it was the correct decision, seeing as his grip loosened greatly. Xiao chuckles as you cling to him, fingers practically digging into his feet. "Normally, the suffering of the people is something I greatly despise. But, this does bring a smile to my face."

You squeak, the panic and fear festering in your heart finally fully showing itself. "Please-- please can't we just talk this out or something?!" He scoffs. "Like I'll listen to you and your saccharine lies and silver tongue." His grip tightens, enough to draw blood. You shout in pain as he continues. "I don't know what magicks you did or what words you said to them that-- that turned them all this way, but know this, deceiver."

It stings; the way he says your undeserved title, and the talons digging into your flesh. "It will stop now. You, and your lying, and scheming, and blaspheming-- It will all be paid for. With your life, with your blood-- with whatever the Divine Overseer sees fit. And when you are gone from this world, I will make sure that everything you've done-- everyone's minds you've poisoned, everyone that you've harmed-- I will be sure to make it all right again. Do you understand, you fake?!"

Yeah, okay-- you had to agree. The whole playing into your roles thing is really hurting all your reputations. But that's something to be worried about later, the intensity of the situation having reached its peak for you.

You're heaving-- gulping as much air into your lungs as you shake; trembling in his grip. Your heart's pounding, a rabbit-like pace, as you claw at his talons, babbling and begging. "Please-- please, let me go-- you, you don't understand Xiao, please! I can explain everything, please, god, don't kill me! Please, please, please!"

The floodgates break, tears and snot streaming down your face. "God-- fuck! I never even wanted to be here-- I never even to be like this! Fuck-- fuck! Xiao, please-- please, I just want to go home!"

Something changed inside him, with only the barest off-beat wing flap indicating the seed of doubt planted in his heart. He growls, deep and guttural and angry. "I won't listen to your lies. Not now, not ever."

But with the way you begged for your life... it didn't feel like a lie.

Unfortunately, the beginnings of his inner turmoil go unnoticed to you, the panic and fear reaching its climax. You needed to get away, you didn't want to die yet. You needed to go somewhere else-- anywhere else as long as you were safe and alive and away from him. Your mind instinctively goes to the nearest Waypoint, but the realization hits you as you were about to teleport away.

The Vessels know how the Waypoints work now. Thanks to you, those "strange, four pronged landmarks" became a source of fast-travel for the Vision-holders. The Vision-holders that were currently hunting you. Vision-holders that would be watching and waiting at those same Waypoints, waiting for you or any of your party to appear in a golden flash of light.

You would die if you teleport yourself away, the Vision-holders and the militia camping at those structures.

You would die if you resist Xiao's grip, falling to your death or slamming into one of the stone pillars that dot Huaguang.

You would die if you give up, your doppelganger most definitely looking to make you suffer as you breathe your last breaths.

All roads lead to your demise.

But-- no-- no, it cant be. You can't die just yet-- you can't just leave them behind like that. You can't just betray Wanderer, you can't hurt Barbara again, you can't let Diluc lose another loved one again, you can't let Zhongli lose the few remaining dredges of family he has left. And even though Teyvat would never, ever let you die-- not truly at least, dying hurts. Dying always hurt so much.

You have to live.

For you, your newfound family and friends, at least until you can find someway to-- to fix this. To fix everything.

You can't run away from this. Even if you wanted to.

You force yourself to calm down, slowing your breath and heart, but your mind still roiling with fear and anxiety. This is a do or die situation. What can you do? What can you do in this moment, with your feeble strength and abilities that won't end up in Xiao lobbing your head off, or falling to your death, or some other horrible ending to your fate?

You can surprise him-- Diluc and Zhongli had trained you with a sword when they could, Diluc's old Favonius Sword somehow both heavy and light in your hands in your short training sessions. But as soon as you'd bring out the blade, Xiao would probably slit your throat or drop you to force you to drop the sword.

Teleporting is out of the question, with each Waypoint practically swarming with bloodthirsty soldiers. What else, what else?!

You frantically look around Huaguang for something-- anything that could get you out of this. It's such a shame for Zhongli, he only wanted some peace and rest-- to live out the rest of his retirement in peace. But, unfortunately ever since you dropped into this world, he's not only hated and lambasted by his people, but also exposed as a god-- forever tarnishing him in their memory.

A touch of sorrow fills your heart, as Xiao flies you off. And to think-- he'd spent thousands and thousands of years protecting his people with his powers and spears, only for them to turn those same things against him. You still remember the sting as those spears and arrows rained down upon you and the group. And to think, he used to do the same to his enemies during the Archon War, just to protect Liyue and his people. You chuckle. How the tables have turned.

Wait... Spears... Archon War... Zhongli...

You have an idea.

Trusting Xiao to not let you go, you release your almost vice-like grip on his feet, looking out onto the stone pillars before you. You take a calming breath, calling onto Zhongli's teachings. The shiver that goes up your body is so much more different than the tremblings of fear you felt earlier, having connected with the pure Geo energy present within the pillars. You groan, this power filling and rushing within you overwhelming your senses. Is this what it feels like to be Zhongli?

Thinking back to earlier, when you had so effortlessly sculpted a stone guitar, you call out to the Geo energy in those pillars surrounding you-- each one of them answering in turn. You shiver, still unused to the surge of power inside you, Teyvat itself so willing and eager to answer your call. You impose your will onto the world around you, your wish deeply ingrained into each stone, each drop of water, and each blade of grass.

Save me.

Xiao, abruptly yanked out of his thoughts, stops mid-air as the pillars rumble and shake. "You dirty witch! What did you do?!" He flaps around frantically as the pillars begin to crumble and fall atop you. You gulp as you hang on to his claws, the two of you beginning to fall mid-air. "A trust exercise!"

-

Earlier...

"Dammit!" Wanderer shouts, as regains his balance. "Shit-- that damn adepti took them and just-- vanished!" He paces, grumbling as he tries toget his thoughts together. "Fuck-- Barbara, where's the nearest Waypoint? We might still be able to rush the soldiers if we get there now." "No, there's no need for that." Zhongli places a hand on Barbara's shoulder, who had frantically began paging her Mappa Mare.

"What do you mean there's no need for that-- He quite literally vanished! There's no other explanation for it than him going to a Waypoint!" He sighs, recalling his old memories. "Alatus, better known as the Adeptus Xiao, was once the mere hound of a god who had captured him. He was forced to do many horrible acts in that god's name, and was even made to eat the dreams of his victims."

The Wanderer crossed his arms. "And? What does his sob story have to do with y/n getting fucking kidnapped?" He ignored his rise, Zhongli continuing on. "Before I had freed him from his old master, before I bestowed upon him the name 'Xiao', he went by a different name. Alatus. This was because of what he was as an Illuminated Beast. Before he was Xiao, known as the Conquerer of Demons, efore he was Alatus, known as the Devourer of Dreams, he was known as Alatus, the Great Golden Winged. He was known for the beauty of his wings, and swiftness like no other."

"...Meaning that he used some sort of ancient adeptal magic to 'teleport' out of here?" Zhongli nodded at Diluc, who had regained his bearing. "Yes. There can be no other explanation." Wanderer speaks up. "And how are you so sure of that?" The once-Archon hummed as his eyes shone with Geo energy. Elemental Sight.

"There is a difference between Waypoint Teleportation and Xiao's Adeptal Teleportation. Whenever we use a Waypoint, we leave little to no elemental energy behind. On the off chance we do, the energy we leave behind is Null energy-- pure, unadulterated elemental energy that hasn't turned into one of the seven elements yet. It usually dissipates into whatever element is nearest to it, in most abundance, or most prominent. And the traces of Null energy are so miniscule that you'd miss it even if you're actively looking for it." Zhongli blinks away his elemental sight, gesturing to where Xiao and their Overseer once stood.

"This small area is condensed with Anemo energy, with trace amounts of Xiao's accumulated karma. He, therefore, cannot have used a Waypoint." Wanderer tch-ed, as everyone's eye's faded back into their regular shades. "Touché old man, touché."

"That's... fascinating but," Barbara had her Mappa Mare cracked open to the lands of Liyue, Minlin. "how are we supposed to track Xiao? We know that he's obviously taking them to the fake, and that y/n would do all they can to stop or at least delay him, but what path would he take?" She rubs her hands in worry. "Oh, we're surrounded by all sides with adepti! I'd know what paths and what distractions y/n would make but-- but what about Xiao? Would he fall for y/n's baiting and tricks? From earlier, it doesn't seem like he would and that any attempt y/n would make to slow him down wouldn't work..."

Diluc grumbles as he looks down onto the atlas. He sighs. "You know him best Li, we'll follow your lead." A nod.

"Alright. Wanderer, you have an Anemo Vision and you're the fastest out of all of us. Is there any chance you can use the residual Anemo energy to try and pin point his location? If not, do a close and general sweep of the area to try and figure out what direction he went. From there, you'll be our 'eye in the sky' as y/n would put it. You'll be the one guiding us to their location." He nods as he rushes where Xiao was, cupping his hands and filling them with Anemo.

"Barbara, seeing as you've spent the most time with y/n and have the added benefit of 'level 10 friendship', you'll be my advisor to whatever other variables and probabilities that they'd do or make for us. Like if they manage to somehow talk Xiao into putting them down, or if they shift into one of us to try to fight their way out." Another nod as she takes her place at his side.

Zhongli turns to the last of their group. "Diluc--" "Muscle?" A nod. "Apologies, old friend." He brushes it off. "It's alright. There's not much I can do here anyways." They exchange a nod as Zhongli kneels, pressing a hand into the rock. "I'll try to find them by communicating with the pillars or by the Geo signature of their stone guitar. They'd also unwittingly resonated with Geo earlier so this may be a little easier..."

Zhongli feels the Geo energy rush within him. He soaks it all in, feeling it fill up every part of him-- from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He is positively thrumming with Geo, but no matter how much he takes in, it will never fill up the gaping hole left behind by the Gnosis. He pushes past that old ache, setting his eyes back on his objective.

When he speaks, every rock, every pebble, every boulder, every stone-- no matter how big or small or insignificant, all raise themselves in attention.

"Where is my god?"

The pebbles tumble and cry-- as the wind and waters move us to and fro, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

The boulders rumble in their places-- as rain and time wear us down, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

The grains of sand swirl and churn-- as the tides and the fish guide us 'round Teyvat, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

The crystals gleam and shine-- as both adventurers and miners pick, pick, pick away at us, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

Zhongli frowns, digging deeper and deeper within his connection with the earth. Deeper and deeper still, until he can find each speck of dust and soot by name. Until he can see his allies by the Geo energy emitted by the imperceptible dusting of earth on their bodies.

He speaks once more, urging the stones to sense their surrounding not just by the seismic sense that the natural world has on their forms but to open their eyes-- to see how their once-god saw the world around himself.

"Where is my god?"

The dirt in the breeze dances and twirls-- god, my god, rejoice! We have been graced by our Divine Overseer's touch!

The pure Geo energy shaped curiously like a person roils and churns-- god, my god, rejoice! We have been graced by our Divine Overseer's call!

The pillars shake with glee-- god, my god, rejoice! We have been graced by our Divine Overseer's will!

In the distance, Zhongli could both hear and feel the crumbling and collapsing of multiple of Huaguang's pillars. No-- rather, he himself were the crumbling pillars, stone stelai kneeling before their almighty god. He surfaces, weakening his connection and clearing his mind from the pure and unadulterated Geo that had overtaken him. Shaking away the desire to kowtow that he presumes is from the stone pillars (though he wouldn't be surprised if it came from deep buried instincts), Zhongli rouses to the image of the group waiting for him at the lip of their alcove.

Wanderer plays with a dark and karma tinted thread of Anemo. "I have a slight feeling I know exactly where y/n is."

-

You groan, having landed in a tangled feathery heap. You cough, waving away at the dust in the air as you try to take in your surroundings. Key word here being try, as you come to realize that the pillars had collapsed on top of you to perfectly form a small and yet sizable cavern. A cavern, mind you, with no light source.

You blindly grope around and wave your hands in the air. "Man, it'd sure be nice if I could see." And would you look at that? The next few random rocks you wildly flailed around at were bright, glowing ores of Cor Lapis, covered so heavily in dust and soot that you couldn't see their light. Perk of being god, you suppose.

After using the weak lights of the ores to find others to light up your tiny enclosure, you finally drink in your surroundings. It wasn't much really-- just some rocks, rocks, more rocks, Xiao laying bloody and bruised on the floor, couple more rocks...

"Oh shit-- Xiao!"

You rush to his side, cradling his head in your hands as he groaned in pain. You sucked in a breath, examining the rest of his body. It wasn't anything too major, thank goodness, but it was clear that when you landed, he took the brunt of the damage. You take a few breaths to calm down the rising panic in your chest. He might've wanted to skin you alive and turn you into a nice fur coat for that face-stealing copycat, but he doesn't have to die for it.

You dab away at the blood and dust beginning to cake his many wounds, Barbara's teachings echoing in the back of your mind.

He doesn't have to die. He doesn't know the truth.

You empty the small bottle of water into your now dirty cloth, wiping and cleaning away at the blood and grime on his body. A small frown forms as you stare at the heavily bleeding cut on his head. You know from Barbara's many lectures and the times you got really deep into Wikipedia articles at 3 am, that head wounds bleed heavily. When your head gets damaged, it bleeds much more compared to any other body part and that's normal. That's fine and okay.

But knowledge of things doesn't usually help irrational fears, as you turn his head to try and treat it. But you don't get much further than turning it to face you, as you are immediately met with the cold sting of metal on your neck. Xiao glares at you, gaze fierce but taut. "I don't know what you're playing at, but I assure you I won't fall for it."

You immediately freeze like a deer in headlights. "I wasn't trying to do anything!-- I mean I was, but it's nothing bad! I promise!" You and your hands are frozen still on the sides of his face as you watch his expression go through dozens of emotions you can't quite place. You'd love to look away, but the gentle pressure of the small dagger at your neck is quick to dissuade that idea.

After what feels like an eternity, he finally settles on a sort of neutral but piercing glare. "What were you trying to do then." Your gaze drops from his face, a red heat rising to your face. "There's a cut on your head. It's bleeding a lot and... and I got worried. I know head wounds do that, bleed a lot, but... but still. I got worried."

You could feel his gaze searching your slowly heating face. But you didn't care about that, eyes slowly drifting towards the blood and the wounds on his body. Fuck, couldn't you do anything right? If you took a different route like Nantianmen, or hadn't nagged the group for a break, or played into your rumors to tease him out or something, none of this would've ever happened. You wouldn't have gotten so close to dying multiple times, you wouldn't have almost killed Xiao when you begged Teyvat for help, you wouldn't have to complicate Zhongli's feelings with Xiao and the adepti and--

You take a breath, wet and slow.

And you wouldn't have your old guitar back. And you wouldn't have learned to at least control a tiny bit of your abilities. Wouldn't have given them the rest they so rightfully deserved and needed. Wouldn't have bantered or brought a smile to your friends faces.

In the end, there's no use to wondering and worrying about "what if"s and "could've been"s. The only thing you can do now is to make the best of what you've got.

A sharp hiss takes you out of your silent musing, Xiao attempting to sit up and failing. You barely register the lack of cold metal on your neck as you help him up, leaning him against the cavern wall. "Are, are you okay? I mean, you're obviously not-- you're fucking covered in blood, and bruises, and shit, but like-- you get what I mean yeah? Oh, speaking of!" You summon the first healing food that came to mind. Chicken Mushroom Skewers and a Sweet Madame. "I don't really have medical supplies but..."

You trail off, unsure if food having medicinal and magical healing properties is a normal thing. "...But I've found that having a full stomach helps?" Good save.

Xiao, whose mind has been roiling with confusion and contradictions and conflicting information this whole time, blinks at you in pained befuddlement. He clears his mind, or at least clears it as much as he can with a slight shake of his head. "It's... It's fine. Its just some mild bruising and minor injuries." Xiao stretches his wings in mild discomfort.

On a second thought, maybe those minor injuries weren't as minor as he thought, flinching hard at the pain that shot up his wing. Both of his wings. "Oh, shit! Are you okay?" "Don't touch me!" He slaps your hands away from where they were reaching out for his wings. Xiao scoots away from you, palming his dagger and glaring.

"Why are you suddenly acting like this?!" His Jade spear gleams in the soft light of the Cor Lapis, pointed at your neck. "Don't think your pretty words and silver tongue will worm its way into mind head and poison me like you did with Morax and the rest you've encountered!" The emotional whiplash and building conflict within him reached its breaking point. "Who-- What-- What is your plan here? Helping me and keeping me alive will only bring you more problems in the future! You have had ample opportunity to remove a potential-- not even potential, actual problem in, in whatever grand scheme or plan you have!"

He's heaving now, the roiling emotions in his chest taking over. "Unless you plan to have all of Teyvat in the palm of your hand, having us all grovel and cower like a dog at a table, begging for scraps. But-- but what was that?! Rex La-- Morax-- Zhongli would never topple the pillars of Huaguang like that! And seeing how precious you are to him, he'd never risk it at the chance of ending you."

He'd dismissed his weapon in the middle of his rant, burying his hands in his hair; the confusion and doubt clashing with the conflicting thoughts and emotions within him.

"But earlier-- no sane person would fall for the show you displayed earlier, so clearly scheming and conniving with your little group. So it was-- so it was a trap, bait for me to get in and--and... it was, it was bait-- a trap. A--A trap for me, I--"

It hurt. It hurt so much. He's so lost, so confused. Rex-- No, Zhongli. Zhongli was right. What was their goal here? What does he not understand?

He pulls at his hair, roaring in frustration.

Archons, he wants to understand. He wants to know what mysteries and truths are hidden from him yet. He wants to understand why he follows them, why those... supposedly brainwashed people were so eager to lay down their lives, why his Almighty Overseer had ordered this manhunt so easily and readily at the first rumor that this lookalike existed? Why his body aches and screams with pain as the seed of doubt begins to bloom in his chest?

It hurts. It hurts so much.

It's not supposed to hurt.

He clutches at his chest, the rising tide of emotions within him having empowered his age-old karmic debt. It claws and roils deep within his skin, the corruption reaching for his very being. He chokes, something burning, and inky, and tar-like deep in his throat, the feeling of drowning not far behind. Distantly, he hears himself screaming.

He claws at himself-- at his drowning neck, at his arms and legs bound in ancient burning rage and agony, at the many small wounds leaking both blood and a searing ancient hate. He claws at his back, at his wings-- wishing to tear them off so that their shining beauty and wonder may not be tainted by his eons of sins crawling up his spine. He can feel the karma reaching for them, a tiny and pure and clean part of himself that he had hidden from it so thoroughly until now.

"My-- My wings!--" He chokes, on air or karma or blood, he doesn't know. "Not-- not my wings!"

He feels gentle hands in his hair, pulling his head to rest on something warm and soft. Tears and spit covered his face. It had never hurt this bad before.

Your hands were shaking with panic as you brushed your fingers into his hair, having at least laid his head on a bit of folded fabric. "Sh, sh, sh," you cooed into his ear. "Just-- just breathe. Listen to my voice. Focus on my voice." Your voice cracked. "Please."

Xiao's head turns slightly to you, as he shook and writhed on the floor. He was delirious enough to listen to you. You gulp.

As you brush his hair and whisper sweet nothings into his tear and spit streaked face, you wracked your mind for-- for something-- anything that could help. You take a breath. Another. Panicking won't solve anything. But its hard not to. You feel him clutch your hand like a life line.

You remember... you remember an old voiceline-- Zhongli telling the traveler to deliver some painkillers to him. But-- no, that won't help right now. Zhongli isn't here, and you don't have the painkillers. Hell, you didn't even know how to make those painkillers. What else, what else...

Your eyes scanned the cavern, trying to find something that would spark an idea-- something that could help. Xiao whimpers in your arms. "Please... hurts... so much..." "I'm trying Xiao, just-- just hang on a little longer and you'll be okay, I promise." Come on, come on-- isn't there a character story or piece of lore that could help? Character story... lore...

You know what to do. You just weren't sure if it'd work.

You let go of him, resting his head back on the scrap of cloth you laid out for him. He whines in pain, reaching out for you but you let go of him nonetheless. "Sh, sh, sh... I'm here, I'm here, shhh... you'll be okay, it won't hurt anymore I promise."

You bring out your guitar, still more like a stone statuette than an actual guitar. You still weren't sure this was going to work, but it has to. It needs to. Its going to.

You take a breath, close your eyes, and call upon the Geo within you. Right now, this is just you and your guitar and your captive audience. No life-threatening dangers and prejudices, just you, and your music, and your avid listener.

You strum your hands across the strings.

"Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do,"

The notes ring out inside the cavern, the Cor Lapis almost pulsing with the sound.

"Do-mi-so-do,"

Despite the grim situation, you couldn't help the smile that creeps onto your face. You brush your hands onto the strings once more.

"Isn't it pretty?"

The ores seem to shine brighter in response. Your voice changes to match the next line.

"...how exceedingly simple."

Memories of an old but beloved show fill your mind.

"Do-mi-so-ti,"

Xiao's labored breathing slows.

"We're making music!"

Another strum.

"What is the point?"

You couldn't help the sudden beaming smile on your worn and worried face at his words. His breathing is still heavy, curling up into himself in pain.

"You're not-- making anything."

You could almost see it, back on your couch watching the show as this not so exact scene plays out on screen.

"Well, if it isn't anything, then why does it sound so good?"

He breathes, long, and hard, and deep; the pain is slowly subsiding from his body.

"I suppose its just interest,"

He ignores the tiny voice in his head, reminding him of the first time a god had calmed the karma within him.

"Do-mi-so-do,"

You keep playing the simple tune, memories of acting out certain scenes and songs with friends rising from the depths of your mind.

"Devoid of substance or purpose, a hypothetical pattern,"

Xiao lays there, still curled up on the floor.

"Do-mi-so-ti,"

He lays a wing over himself.

"For the satisfaction of bringing it to completion."

Xiao blinks. The weight of the karma on his chest is gone.

"Sure."

You try to remember the rest of the chords to the song, playing a little with the fingering.

"Do-mi-so-ti."

He tightens his curled position.

"Interest without meaning?"

Even the small pains from his scratches and bruises have faded.

"Solutions without problems?"

Despite the turmoil building up once again within him, you keep strumming at your guitar.

"And then you just add words!"

The words flow from your mouth easily, having sung this song thousands of times in a different life.

"Here's what I've been working on."

Xiao watches as your fingers skillfully fly on the guitar as you take a breath to sing.

"Life and death and love and birth,"

Oddly enough...

"And peace and war on the planet Earth."

Despite all the turmoil and confusion...

"Is there anything that's worth more,"

And his Overseer's warning to not fall for this impostor's trickery...

"Than peace and love on the planet Earth? Ooh-woah,"

He feels at ease with you.

"Come on and sing it with me!"

You were genuinely offering, despite it being the actual lyrics.

"Sing?"

Xiao raises an eyebrow, choosing to sort out... everything later.

"The words relate to the key,"

You smile, both to him and to yourself. No wonder your first Vessel was the Traveler.

"Key?"

You lean back, fingers still strumming on the strings of your guitar.

"If its a pattern, if its a pattern, then just repeat after me!"

You were just so full of love and wonder for this world. Steadfast, and strong-willed, and even willing to break bread, or in this case share a song, with a sworn enemy.

-

Life and death and love and birth,

Zhongli couldn't help but break into a small grin, the rocks and stones singing to him in your voice. With a small nudge to the Geo around him, they sung louder, loud enough for the group to hear.

Life and death and love and birth,

"Is that guy... singing along?!" Diluc huffed from where he was being carried by the Wanderer. "...yeah, okay, at this point I probably shouldn't be surprised anymore."

Now you sing mi-fa-mi-mi-fa-mi-ti-la,

Barbara cradled a singing rock in her hands from where she sat upon Zhongli's dust cloud. "...I think it's selfish of me to want to hoard them all to ourselves and just travel Teyvat like this."

And peace and war on the planet Earth!

Zhongli watches as his Memory of Dust endlessly locked and unlocked itself, using it to pilot the dust cloud they're to their destination. He stares ahead as she continues her musing. "...And I think y/n feels the same way too."

-

You clap with glee as he sings along.

"Yes, yes, that's it!"

Xiao scoffs, tentatively sitting up. He shoots you a look when he sees the flash of worry on your face.

"That's so easy."

You focus back on your playing, glad that it helped. You can already tell that you're gonna have a crazy freakout session after... all of this.

"Yeah, but that's what's fun about it,"

Your fingers flowed with ease on the strings, a perfect replica of the ones you have back home where they were once just stone. You have a feeling you're gonna go ballistic about this too.

"You should write something, you should write a song!"

Just like earlier, despite the suggestion being literally lyrics the in the song, you're genuinely asking.

"About what?"

You couldn't help but giggle to yourself at the curious but eager lilt in his voice.

"Whatever your thinking!"

You watch as a look takes over his face for a moment. He steels himself and sighs. Singing always helps release some pent-up emotions in your experience, so for someone with a special relationship with them like Xiao, it must be a huge relief.

He opens his mouth to sing.

-

I guess we're already here,

Zhongli watches as the Wanderer and Diluc finally reach them, a perfectly shaped dome in the middle of all this rubble and destruction.

I guess we already know,

Backing up to gain some momentum, Wanderer suddenly zooms forward and throws Diluc at the geode they're about to crack open.

We've all got something to fear,

Speeding like a bullet, he throws back his claymore and with a mighty scream and a mighty heft, he is set alight by Dawn. "Your verdict is--!"

We've all got nowhere to go,

The geode is sliced open, Dawn dancing and rising up into the sky. Zhongli waves his hand, his Memory pulsing with light, and the cut-off lid is caught by almost spiderweb-like threads of pure Geo.

There was nothing Xiao could do as the two of them were rushed by a sudden burst of Hydro and Anemo energy, the resulting Swirl preventing him from doing anything.

I think you're all insane,

You're whisked off into the Wanderer's arms, both of you zipping up high into the sky where the rest of your ragtag team is waiting upon Zhongli's dust cloud.

But I guess I am too,

Wanderer nods at him but before anything happens, you raise your hand. "Its fine. You don't have to do anything." The four of them share a look. "I have a feeling he won't follow us outta here."

Anybody would be if they were stuck in Teyvat with you.

After a beat of silence, they relent. The dust cloud churns as Zhongli takes you and the gang far and away from here. "Your 'feelings' have never failed us before." The Wanderer groans as he tilts his head back in annoyance. "And it shouldn't fuckin' start now, asshole. Do you even have any idea the hassle we have to do just to get you every time you get kidnapped?!"

You chuckle, fluent in the Wanderer's special type of emotionally constipated way of speaking. "Thank you for caring Wanderer. And I'm sorry for worrying you." You turn to the rest of the group. "All of you. I... I really am." The Wanderer merely scoffs and looks away. Diluc nods and says, "It's alright. Just... do try to not worry us too much next time yeah?" You smile. Despite it all, you smile.

"Ahahaha, yeah!"

Barbara tackles you in a tight hug. You eagerly reciprocate.

Life and death and love and birth and,

"I hadn't realized until now-- are the rocks singing?!" Zhongli, having sat down with his legs crossed, hands you a pebble. "It was the fastest way we confirmed you're alright."

Life and death and love and birth and,

"I know I should be used to it at this point with all the wacky-ass shit we encounter, but I'm still not over you making the 'Guardian Yaksha' sing!" Wanderer exclaims. You giggle, a memory popping up as fresh as day. "Well, it didn't take me much you get you to sing. And on our first meeting too!"

Life and death and love and birth and,

The two of you bicker as Barbara tries to mediate and Zhongli focuses back on whisking you all away. Diluc looks down at the destruction they caused in Huaguang, the cut open cavern of your geode like a glittering clamshell in the afternoon sun. He could barely make out Xiao's silhouette amidst all the Cor Lapis and Crystal Ore.

Peace and war on the planet Earth.

Satisfied that he wouldn't and/or couldn't follow them, Diluc turns back to the rest of you, the bickering having turned into friendly playfighting and banter. He looks at you and notices something amiss. He chuckles, getting everyones attention. "We went through all of that for your guitar, and you didn't even manage to save it." "Oh, no no no, I have it right here!" With a flash of light, you summon your guitar. It's looking awfully like the zither you bought at Liyue. "...Goddammit."

Is there anything that's worth more?

Xiao would like to say that you'd all left him in a daze when you ambushed him, but really... He'd been caught up in your words. Your song. Too caught up in the things that happened to him during your song.

Is there anything that's worth more?

Still in disbelief of his now unblemished and uninjured form, he goes over to your... stringed instrument. A guitar, his mind supplies, having remembered watching that fiery one's "rock and roll" concert after realizing that the strange activity he saw was just her and her people setting up a small venue.

Is there anything that's worth more?

He runs his finger across the strings, simple notes coming up to greet his ears. He shouldn't be surprised, songs are merely the beautiful weavings of simple notes coming together. Not unlike his once-Grand Marshal's battle tactics coming to fruition. Not unlike your schemes that his Divine Overseer claims you have.

Xiao turns his gaze to the skies, the cloud of dust you all so quickly arrived in now long gone.

Than peace and love on the planet Earth?

He does not follow.

---

AAAAAAAAND DONE! oh my fucking god this took forever to write IKLRHeSTgHEKRGJK-- literally took me a year or so to finish AHJAHAHA Honestly the real struggle here was finding the time to write since like-- i already had the whole story in my head, i just needed to translate it into words.

Well... not really? It was more like i had a guideline for how i wanted this to go, its just that when i started writing thats when i put in the details lol

also there's some parts there that i think like... drag a little aka the part where y/n is panicking and trying to think of a solution for the problem-- i wanted it to take a while and for y/n to form a thought process that ended in the natural conclusion of figuring out a solution to their problem. Id LIKE to think i did p well at that part but like im not too sureeeeeeeee

also-- THE AMOUNT OF SET UP JUST TO GET TO THE SONG PART-- THE SONG IS BARELY EVEN PART OF THE STORY AHAHAHHAHAHAHA-- now that, im COMPLETELY UNAPOLOGETIC FOR AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

oh yeah-- i already said this before but there is gonna be a rough-ish timeline for the Playlist so if i ever write a fic where y/n cant do this but in the other fic can do it-- just trust me theres a timeline, its probably before the event that made y/n able to do it lol

id add more a/ns but like-- my brain is mush and i can finally publish this so im gonna stop here. oh right-- i did mention this is gonna be a two parter, so the next part in this will be the immediate aftermath, exploring Xiao's POV of the situation and his thoughts. I wanna say that itll be short but uh. Considering my track record, thats not gonna happen. thanks for reading yall :))

[mellsfern]

A very scale situation

Prompt: Henry is a wild Naga.

You didn't remember the first time you saw one, but you were enamored with reptiles. In general, they were always so cool and very badass. You got a college degree to just study them and get paid for doing what you love.

It was about a week ago that you and them brought one specimen the newly found, it was the discovery of the century. While you had funds, you and your teammates were on a trip to a very big forest, deep in the Amazonas. You knew better than to go unprotected and alone but you work buddies couldnt get their shit together faster so you left them. After a very unfortunate sum of events, you found out why it's better to not go on your own.

You were calmly studying a caiman from afar when you caught a glance of a rapid movement. You didn't get time to react, you were trapped in the tight grasp of a beast. You analyzed what you saw and knew you'd a Conda at your cause of death. One thing was to take note of, the scales were so brightly yellow and had a very peachy color into it. You at least were extermined by a new species, it'd be just like Madam curie, killed by a discovery.

A hand touched your head, you would feel at least the finger run through your hair.

"What the fuck." You whispered, you looked around a bit more and you looked gazes with something incredible.

A creature only known to fantasies and myths. Staring back at you was a blonde, feral eyed half man half snake. Their eyes were brown, their hair golden and their body was peachy and with a lot of golden/yellowish scales.

"What a cutie" left your mouth. Everyone could blame you however they wanted, this creature was handsome and your mouth won the race against your brain a long time ago, that's why you were praising your killer.

The creature got surprised, almost bashful. You swore you saw a greenish tint come to his face before he avoided your gaze. You were curious, the creature reacted to the compliment, was it possible they could communicate with you?

"Do you understand my words?" You asked.

The creature looked at you again. Not sure what to do, he had plans to eat a caiman but then he saw you, he always wandered in these forests and never saw something such as you. He was watching you for a while and you were such an interesting creature, he just had to catch you but after you looked him at the eyes and called them cute? It was over for him. He was called a lot of things from the other beings that lived in this section and cute was never a thing.

He was concentrated in you totally, he barely understood most of your words. He saw your kind before but never something like you, were you like the other humans too? If that were so, wouldn't you be screaming? He didn't spoke your tongue to a thee but understood some words here and there. So he decided to just nod, that would get you to keep talking to him and staying more.

"So you do! That's amazing, I can't believe you also speak my tongue. This is the best discovery ever! I can't wait to brag about this to my team. They are gonna be so jealous!!" You kept talking about it, you just couldn't believe your luck.

You almost didn't catch how the tongue of the creature kept going to your direction. It was obvious he was smelling you, and that brought you back to what should have been the priority.

"A...are you gonna... eat me?" Your voice trembled, your excitement kind of gone because death wasn't exactly on your plans in this trip.

The creature nodded, not realizing what were you actually saying.

Oh God, this was awful. You were actually going to die. You only could think of one thing, bargaining for your life.

"What I'd I offer you something else? I-I can give you anything, j-j-just don't eat me! I don't taste good and-"

You were interrupted with the hissing of a caiman, it was clear that the thing wanted a meal too. And was willing to fight for it.

The creature frowned, making a disgusted face. It used their tail to hit it away and used his body to carry you to the top of a tree and retrieved you into his arms for a change when he decided that you were safe.

"It... bad" The creature said. "It... " He opened his mouth, showing the fangs he carried and successfully scared the crap out of you. He closed his mouth and made a chomping sound "... to you"

You were confused yet again, you knew he just saved you but the way he talked and answered were telling you he didn't fully speak your language.

"Do you have someone with you?" You tried talking to it again. It just nodded again. "Do you have fur and the head of a tree?" Nod. Yep, they didn't understand.

You were rocking your mind again, trying to resolve how to ask it not to eat you. "Are...." you started, unsure how to proceed" you gonna" you made a chomping sound too, trying to copy his actions before"... me?"

It got freaked out, denying it aggressively moving his head side to side. And if to prove a point, they let you sit on a branch which could have killed you if you were afraid of heights but you tried to not pay attention to it, after that they grabbed with their hands part of their tail and gave it to you as if asking to be handled.

You knew this was a way of some snakes after getting accustomed with their owners to show acceptance or affection if you will. What you never would have known tho, it's that wild species would do this too. You caressed the scales, too tempted to not to.

He really didn't think this was going to affecting him that much. Bit the moment your touch was sensed through his scales he made a note to keep you with him, close forever. He could never lose these new feeling of the warmth and the fuzzy feeling his insides were making. He immediately enrolled himself around you again, hugging tight but letting your hands free.

"Touch... more" He then offered his hair, asking to be pet, he had a dog-like feeling to it. You let him have it, apparently he enjoyed this.

"Well, I suppose since I will have a few more years to leave and you like this we should work on a name for you since I plan on being in your presence more" You said, your hand never leaving their head, they found a way to wrap themselves around you while still having their torso on your lap so you can pet him.

"What about Henry?" They did not show any signs of paying attention far from the bliss they were experiencing so you just decided to go along with it.

Now, it'd be good to know how to get down and go back to the camping site.

Henry belongs to my beloved @homecomingvn.

[ivy-is-fine]

WARNING: long vent underneath; mostly self deprecation so be mindful of that if you decide to read

chat I’m genuinely tweaking out so fucking bad rn I just spent like an hour and half making a custom Minecraft skin and then I accidentally hit something that destroyed all of my progress, RIGHT BEFORE I DOWNLOADED IT YALL I GONNA EXPLODE I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE SO UPSET OVER SIMETHING STUPID AND POINTLESS AND SMALL AS THIS BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM GOING TO CRY AND THEN I DONT KNOW THROW A HAT AT THE GROUND YALL IT LOOKED SO GOOD I LOVED IT AND THEN I FUCKING RUINED IT ILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE IT THE SAME EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, JUST HOW I WANTED IT TO BE. I KNOW I CAN JUST MAKE ANOTHER AND BE MORE CAREFUL BUT THAT WILL TAKE SO MUCH MORE TIME AND IT WAS SO TEDIOUS THAT TO SPEND MORE TIME WOULD MAKE THE EXPERIENCE EVEN WORSE. CHAT. CHAT IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND. AND I KNOW IM ONLY SO EMOTIONAL OVER THIS BECAUSE ITS HOT AND MISERABLE AND IM OVERSTIMULATED AND THERES SOMETHING WRONG GOING ON IN MY BODY THATS MADE ME LOSE THE WILL TO EAT AND I HATE MYSELF AND EXISTING FEELS GROSS AND I HAVE NO ENERGY SO NOW IM CRYING JUST AS BAD OVER THIS STUPID, POINTLESS THING AS I DID WHEN MY FUCKING CAT DIED. IM NOT READY FOR THIS SCHOOL YEAR, IM GOING TO BE MISERABLE AND BURNED OUT AND I FEEL LIKE MY BEST FRIENDS DONT LIKE ME EVEN THOUGH I KNOW RATIONALLY THAT THEY DO BUT IM SCARED THAT THEIR OPINIONS OF ME ARE STARTING TO SOUR AND THAT THEYLL LEAVE ME BEHIND JUST AS EVERYONE DOES. GOD IM SO AWKWARD WITH PEOPLE NOBODY LIKES ME I CAN TELL AND I DONT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING INTERESTING OR KNOW ANGTHING ABOUT CARS AND TRUCKS LIEK EVERYONE I EXIST WITH. IM USELESS, I DONT HAVE A JOB, I DONT KNOW HOW TO MOW LAWN OR WEEDWACK OR DRIVE A TRACTOR. IM A WORTHLESS HUMAN WITH ZERO TALENT, ALL I CAN DO IS MAKE USELESS FUCKING ART AND WRITE USELESS FUCKING ESSAYS ABOUT USELESS FUCKING TOPICS. IM SO FUCKING WORTHLESS MY PARENTS SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT FROM THE START, I COULDNT EVEN EAT FUCKIGN RIGHT. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF, I HATE BEING A PICKY AND SLOW EATER ITS FUCKING EMBARRASSING I HATE BEING UNDERWEIGHT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WEAK AND I HATE BEING WEAK BECAUSE IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE USLESS AND EMBARRASSING. I HATE MY SKINNY FUCKING WRISTS AND THE NAUSEA THAT CONSTANTLY STIRS IN MY GUT. I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING OVERBITE AND THE HERBST APPLICATION IN MY FACE TO FIX IT AND I HATE MY CURLY HAIR THAT I DKNT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF PROPERLY BECAUSE IT LOOKS STUPID AND MY SWEATY ASS PALMS THAT LEAVE MARKS ON THE FUCKING TABLES ARE AWFUL I HATE IT IT MAKES ME FEEL GROSS I WISH I KNEW HOW TO ACT IN PUBLIC I WISH I KNEE WHAT INCOULD DONTHAT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY BUT I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WOULD FUNCTION BETTER WITHOUT ME. I WANT TO BE A PART OF SOCIETY BUT I NEVER KNOW HOW TO ACT, I DONT KNOW WHEN SOMEONE CANT TOLERATE ME. PEOPLE SCARE ME TOO EASILY I WANT TO STAY IN MY ROOM WHERE NO ONE HAS TO SEE ME. I WANT TO SMASH MY HEAD AGAINT A WALL, MAYBE ITLL MAKE ME NORMAL. GOD I CANT FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION NORMALLY, HOW TO MAKNTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT, HELL, HOW TO HAVE AN APPETITE. I CONSTANTLY FEEL SICK AND RECENTLY IVE BEEN FEELING SO DETACHED FROM REALITY THAT I CAN HARDLY REGISTER ANY WORDS SPOKEN TO ME AND NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING IMPORTANT ANYWAYS LIKE HOW I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW WHERE MY FUCKING CAT GOT BURIED??? NO ONE SEEMED TO FEEL LIEK THAT WA SIMPIRTSNT ENOUGH TO TELL ME!!! IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE EXPECTS EM TO KNOW STUFF WITHOUT HAVING TO BE TOLD BUT INDONT KNOW!!! I NEVER FUCKING KNOW!! I DOTN KNOW ANHTHING OTHER THAN USELESS PIECES OF TRIVIA THAT WILL NEVER BE USED ANYWHERE AT ALL. UGH I FEEL SO ILL, HUNGRY YET SICK AT THE SAME TIME. STARVING WITH NO DESIRE TO EAT. I KNOW ILL DIE, IM ALWAYS ON THE EDGE WITH DEATH, WAVING ACROSS THE STREET AT EACH OTHER. I DONT WANT TO BE SKINNY. I WANT TO EAT AND BE HEALTHY. BUT I CANT. I DONT KNOW WHY I CANT. I HAVE ACCESS TO FOOD AT ALL TIMES, THERES NOTHING STOPPING ME. I CAN HEAR MY STOMACH BUDDLE AND I CAN FEEL THE HUNGER PANGS BUT THEY DONT SEEM TO TRANSMIT TO MY BRAIN. MY MEMORY IS FAILING ME MORE AND MORE MY THE MINUTE, I CAN FEEL MYSELF

DETERIORATING. GOD IM SO SICK OF THIS THIS GAME ISNT FUN ANYMORE BUT I DONT WANT TO QUIT. ITS HARD BEING THE MEDIATOR, THE LIGHTHEARTED JOKESTER WHO DIFFUSES THE SITUATION AND REMAINS COOL AND CALM. IT FUCKING SUCKS AND I GET WALKED ALL OVER ALL THE TIME.

AND I KNOW THERES MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS WHO HAVE IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES WORSE THAN ME, BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT LIVING SUCKS. MY BRACES AND HERBST MAKE MY FACE ACHE AND MY KNEES HURT WHEN HIGH PRESSURE SYSTEMS COME IN AND IM SLOW AND DONT PROVIDE ANYTHING FOR A TEAM. MY ARMS FEEL WEAK ALL THE TIME AND MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE AN EMPTY CHAMBER WITH SOME GUNK AND COBWEBS SLOSHING AROUND. GOD IM SO TIRED. EVERY PART OF MY BODY IS TIRED, IM EXHAUSTED THROUGH TO MY BONES AND BACK.

THERES NO GOOD WAY TO CONCLUDE THIS, AND IM SORRY IF YOUVE READ THIS THROUGH(OR AT ALL).

[eosofspades]

okay. first half of lightfall complete!! done for the day because my brain is frying and its almost midnight but MAN I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. HELLO

spoilers below

GHOST IS BACK!!!!!! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE ENTIRE GAME ALWAYS. GHOST I MISSED YOU SO MUCH

the intro cutscenes FUCK oh my god?? i was NOT expecting the traveler's attack / the slicening to be literally the FIRST CUTSCENE?? INCREDIBLE. couldnt play the first mission properly bc my hands were shaking i was so hyped up ghsjdnfv

WHY DOES THE WITNESS JUST TAKE THE BEAM FULL FORCE. WHAT THE FUCK MAN

the tormentors are FUCKING TERRIFYING. I WAS SO SCARED. LIKE THAT GROWLING NOISE RIGHT BEHIND YOU IS ACTUALLY SO FUCKING SCARY MY HEART WAS POUNDING FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES AFTER I KILLED THE THING

stay frosty

STRAND IS SO COOL. LIKE STRAND IS EXPONENTIALLY FASCINATING AND SO MUCH FUN

i will elaborate on this more in depth another time but i need to say strand feels like what they were going for with stasis except this time they did it RIGHT. in terms of consequences/risk we HEARD all about the dangers of stasis but there were literally no side effects. this on the other hand??? ITS DONE SO PERFECTLY I CANT GET OVER IT

and CONSEQUENCES!!! obviously i knew rohan was going to die like that was completely expectable but i would NOT have guessed the guardian's own shortcomings would have been the reason. god damn

everything about nimbus is so good. i love love love that they're not actually angry or blaming the guardian for rohan's death, just accepting and ready to get justice

THAT FUCKING SCENE. THE FUCKING WITNESS POSSESSING GHOST SCENE?? HELLO??? THAT WAS SO AGONIZING TO WATCH I WAS SO AFRAID

also i lost my shit ghost was literally getting possessed and in visible pain and the guardian just fucking stood there like a sim

ON THAT NOTE THOUGH. "WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER." AND HOLDING OUT THEIR HAND FOR HIM???? THAT IS SOME GOOD GUARDIAN AND GHOST CONTENT THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN BEGGING FOR FOR YEARSSS

all the witness scenes are so fucking cool btw that nightmare they sent to calus is WILD. i am OBSESSED with the witness' shattered glass thing but more importantly their ANGER. i didn't think CALUS is what they'd be angry about!! holy shit!!! emperor has the survival instincts of a fucking moth and if the winnower doesn't blow up the witness i want the witness to blow up calus

i NEED to know what the witness means by "we know pain." babe who hurt you

GHOST GOING "are you handling highly volatile materials?? AGAIN???" I LOVE GHOST SO MUCH IT'S UNREAL. I LITERALLY DIED AT THIS PART BC I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. he sounded so exasperated and annoyed and affectionate i love ghost more than anything ever

^ PLUS. Rohan going "Again? How often does this happen?" and ghost yelling "TOO OFTEN" GHOST BABY IM SO SORRY AHAHAJSGVSV

THE STRIKE!! THE STRIIIKE. HELLO. i got my ass handed to me about sixteen times in a row and almost gave up for the night but holy shit was it worth it for the ending line. nezarec i KNEW you would come back to us!!! <333

side note im literally so pissed off about the reactor core mission bc the end when you're supposed to be using strand to swing out. i just fucking jumped i was so anxious and i couldn't find the strand thing and then everyone kept talking about how i used strand to get out and how amazing it was and ive just been sitting here like . guys please i know i missed out on all the fun you don't have to rub it in PLEASE

OSIRIS TRAINING THE GUARDIAN OSIRIS TRAINING THE GUARDIAN!!! MY OC HEADCANONS ARE BECOMING ACTUAL CANON. VINDICATION IS SO GOOD

when osiris yells "THAT WAS EXCELLENT" i got SO HAPPY. HE IS SO PROUD OF THEM!!!

now that said. i have NOT gotten past the strand training mission i'm about halfway through it. so i don't know if it comes up and it might not but i WOULD like to see osiris at least acknowledge that he was being too harsh before. like i know he's incredibly stressed and everything but my guy. the guardian was literally keeled over dying and osiris is like "we don't have time for this. why aren't you better at this by now"

on that note listen i love osiris so much he's my second favorite character but when he was scolding the guardian and ghost tries to come to your defense and says "we did our best" and osiris SHOUTS "we NEED to do BETTER" i got SO MAD. DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE AT MY GHOST

i cannot believe bungie canonically gave the guardian a cringefail compilation cutscene. power blowing up in their face. ghost and osiris shaking their heads at each other in disappointment and affection for the guardian. im losing my shit

THE FUCKING CUTSCENE WHERE OSIRIS HOLDS HIS HAND OUT AND TRIES TO TALK TO SAGIRA BEFORE HE REALIZES........ AGONIZED WAILING HEARD FROM MY HOME

this is... about as far as i have gotten. i know i'm forgetting some things but!! i am SO hyped up rn okay i am going to play the rest tomorrow

overall conclusion: GOOD SHIT. i love it here this game is the best thing that has ever happened to me

[lvxybby]

It kills me to love you (kai anderson x reader) Part 5

"ok then...its just us....and we can do it around...3AM...." he said taking his pill bottle out. i frowned a bit at the sight but he stopped midway of opening the bottle "what?" he said looking over at me. "hm? no its nothing" i said. "no its clearly something..." he said. he walked closer to me and lifted my chin. "its nothing kai really" i said looking at him. no...its something...tell me....is it these" he said holding the bottle up. i stayed quiet "yeah" i said looking at the bottle. "look at me...those pretty eyes...such a nice color" he said moving his lips closer to mine. we looked at eachother, our bodies pressed together. i stared right back into his brown eyes. "i could stay like this with you forever..." he mumbled. soon the sounds of footsteps could be heard coming downstairs. me and kai separated and i went back to my spot against the wall. once everyone settled in kai began his preach about city council. i noticed meadow was staring at me. what is seriously her problem. i tried to focus back onto what kai was saying but i couldnt help but feel meadows eyes burn into my skin. i began to play with my hands to help keep myself from getting upset. but it barely helped. i kept looking back and forth between her and kai. pretty soon kai catched on to what was happening. he dismissed everyone except for me and meadow and said he would finish the meeting later. "what is going on between you both?" he said. "i dont know she keeps staring at me" i said. "you sound like a little kid when you say that" kai said. "well i know she has something against me so of course im not gonna like it" i said looking back at him. "ok" he said looking at meadow. "she tried to kill me earlier! and she was talking shit about you to winter!" she said "im just trying to protect you kai" she said looking at him "what the fuck! no i did not!" i shouted. "ok when i hit you twice earlier i didnt try to kill you we simply had a small fight...i told you if you did it again i would kill you and talking shit? i was talking to winter about the shit you pulled and her relationship with ivy! so where the fuck did you get me trying to kill you and shit talking from that?!" i said enraged. "ok then....meadow go upstairs..." kai said. she scoffed and went upstairs "get caught bitch" she said as she went up. "seriously? you believe her?" i said looking at kai. he walked over to the table and sat down. "sit" he said. i sighed and walked over to the table. i sat across from him "you already know how this works? truth only ok" he said. he put his pinky out towards me. i interlocked our fingers so we were connected. he took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. "did you really do that" he said looking extremely serious. "no..." i said. i put my other hand over his. "kai. you are my divine ruler, i have devoted my life to you. why would i waste my own just to talk shit about my ruler. you are my new god" i said looking him dead in the eyes. he smiled a bit before speaking. "ok. you can go upstairs, and tell meadow to come down" he said letting my hand go very gently. i got up and went upstairs. "go down kai is waiting for you" i said. i sat on the couch "oh and...get caught bitch" i said smiling at her. she scoffed again before going downstairs. i sat upstairs waiting for a bit. soon kai came up but it was just him. he sat down next to me and began to do something on his phone. he sighed and tossed it next to him. "come with me" he said standing up. i stood up and followed him. we went upstairs and into his room. i stood confused. "c'mere" he said sitting down on his bed. i walked over and sat next to him. he moved next to me and rested his head on my shoulder. "you ok?" i asked him. he stayed quiet. he looked so sad. "kai...what happened?" i asked him. "nothing just so tired..." he said looking up at me. "mentally?" i asked "yeah...its alot of pressure...just being a councilman" he sighed. "so ive been thinking...how will my work go on when i die....then i remembered you...and i thought more and more into it...i want you to be the mother of my messiah" WHAT

[stellawolfearts]

On the one hand a lot of Tripitaka’s behavior is just a product of the time he’s meant to take place in (600’s) and probably the time he was written in (1500’s-ish I think?) and viewing his behavior through that lense makes some (not all, we’ll get to that) of his behaviors make sense.

On the OTHER HAND

Ok, let’s just be real for a second. Tripitaka was in a nightmare situation where basically everything he encountered wanted to kill/eat/rape him. And trauma… can do very ugly things to a person.

So he’s basically powerless, and he’s got all these emotions, fear and anger and a million other things, building up inside and they need an outlet. He certainly can’t take things out on Bajie or Wujing. Wujing would probably rip his throat out and make a friendship bracelet out of it, and Bajie would… probably leave. He was barely staying with them as is and if Tripitaka gave him a reason he’d leave. I think Tripitaka did care about them… at least enough that he didn’t want to be without them.

So that leaves Wukong. Who basically came with a “Take my frustrations out” button. He had power of Wukong. He could make him just as helpless as he always was. Better yet, Wukong keeps forgiving him. Always comes back to help him. No matter how many times Tripitaka burns him, he comes back to the fire. Who else would do that? God knows the other two wouldn’t.

For the record, I don’t think it was this calculated, I’m just pointing the circumstances.

TLDR: Tripitaka’s behavior viewed through the cycle of abuse makes his actions make a lot more sense. Not saying his behavior isn’t fucked up, just the REASONS for the fucked up behavior.

god i love analyzations of character dynamics, especially the fucked up ones cause theres SO MUCH here.

wow you went off insanity/pos

like....yeah. YEAH. its so.wqdefsgrdfhtgjyj

there are multiple factors to what happened on the journey. so many things that came togethor that made everything worse for wukong. she couldnt catch a break.

to be real for a sec the reason trip freaks me out and why i very much dislike the realistic and not sugar-coated version (as a person) of him is bc of my own experiences. i wont go into detail and it wasnt ofc as bad at what trip did but,,,,yeahANYWAYS

when\ people have power over someone it can go two ways. help or abuse.

and when it ends up as abuse, just,,,man.

like on one hand i can see Wukong needing to go on the journey to learn morals and right from wrong (refer to this)

but then heaven repeatedly fucked him over and ended up torturing him for like 50 DAYS STRAIGHT.

then the mountain for 500 years.

all to be put in trips hands and abused for another 20.

man.......

its freaky because its also realistic.

from what ive interpreted from the story its a case of. treat them like shit and then offer a sliver of compassion and remind them theyre nothing without you they theyll always come crawling back no matter what you do,

and

maan

MAN

crying