#if people could just have the right values it would be easier
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#and here i am swinging the other way again lmfao#if people could just have the right values it would be easier#had an interview that like Did go well but also i was kinda like hmmmmm oh yall are fine w some moderate policies though huh#like hmmm Hate that#also UGH like IS that the job i want#but then is shit about to be bad at my current job anyways???#like it feels like im gambling either way#why do i have to gamble either way ☠️#why couldnt shit just stay how it fucking was for the love of god#and im like DO i want back on campaigns?? like lowkey yes but lowkey also fuck no#like the day to day is kinda garbage tbqh and i just... like do i fr need to do that again.....#and here i am like interviewing for what would be a great job but i was in the interview like lowkey this sounds awful lmfao#goddddddddd#maybe what i need is a job i can do remotely so i can just move wherever i want#wish my current job could just be fucking remote truly bc i would keep it 100% if i could just MOVE#but then im reminded how i canot even have convos about this even at all by when i tried my manger just sat there and gaslit me for an hour#after showing up 30 min late also which felt.... very telling#just sat there and said the Wildest shit honestly like damn if youre gonna lie at least lie convincingly bc 'didnt know u were interested'#u mean after i Applied? went through All the rounds? talked about it at length w you???#like ohhhhh ok just feels like she doesnt give a fuck and would rather just Lie To Me lmao??? like Coooooooooooool#ugh and now im mad again and want to leave#DO YOU SEE THE DILEMMA#i think im either about to join a campaign again or im gonna be done w campaigns forever tbh#this feels like the last chance at me like wanting to do it again#and lowkey......... like yall idk if i do want to. like??? politicians honestly all suck in very real ways#theyre all narcissists swear to god and i mean that in a clinical way like i swear to god?? they are all narcissists.#but then im also just like fr can i stay where i am rn bc... like part of me loves the work but part of me feels like im Dying lol#and it doesnt look like it is improving even at all like... it's getting worse actually#and I HAVE SEEN THIS FILM BEFORE
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Why your FS won’t let you go 🫂
Wait! Don't go...
Hug 1 > Hug 2 > Hug 3
Pile 1
“You see me, you accept all of me without conditions, I can let my guard down around you, I feel safe🥺”. For quite some time, your person has struggled with being seen and heard. They just never understood why recognition was so easy for others and not them. They’ve felt unloved, lonely, and imperfect. Your FS thrives off of your admiration, opinions, and your presence. They never knew someone could be so fascinated by them. The simple fact that YOU acknowledge them makes them feel sooo special.🥹They appreciate your attentiveness and support with all they do. Wow, you have been their biggest supporter in life, willing to be around while they go chase after those dreams. Dont take that for granted! Your uplifting spirit and words of positivity are what make them value you, it’s something worth not losing. You make them feel desired, inside and out.
Pile 2
In a world full of sh*** people, they found solace in you. Your FS has had it with people who make no effort to love and be loved correctly. People who lack the decency to be a better person for themselves and others. When your person sees you, they get this gist that you are a person who’s in continuous competition with yourself, outdoing the outdated versions of who you used to be. They look up to you and your transformative nature,✨like a life coach; there is always something to learn from you; to improve on. Being left behind with those who leave themselves behind is not where your person wants to be. Now, your lover wants to be better for you and with you! “ I’d rather be where you are, wherever you are, im never going to be without you”. You are their lighthouse, a beacon forever lighting the way.🫶🏽
Pile 3
They don’t believe in giving up on the things they love, and maybe that’s the downside, but they don’t care when it comes to you. Not even the tiniest disagreements would make them call it quits. You may start arguments. It seems you are easily triggered by things said and done or threaten to leave because in the past you’ve endured a bit too much, but the thought of your person losing you hurts; they would rather you stay and they endure that pain for you. There is something in you that they see as worth saving, a rare essence and energy you carry that can’t be replicated, and that, they just can’t give up on. Yeah, It was easier for them to discard others in their past because they just “knew”, but you love, your love hits differently. They believe if they stay and heal with you they will be rewarded with the love of a lifetime.“ I see your potential, and i’m not giving up” 🤝🏽🤞🏽
Copyright © 2024 dondeeee911. All rights reserved.
#channeled message#oracle#pac#pick a pile#love#future spouse#pick a card#romance#intutive reading#thank you
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safe- a.hotchner
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summary: aaron had to make sure you're safe, can he get to you in time?
pairing: aaron hotchner x nanny! girlfriend! fem! reader
warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive mentions, angsty for a moment (I think that's it?)
not entirely proofread
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Aaron ran through the crowd, the only thing on his mind was you. Were you hurt? Were you dead? Were you even in there? Could he help you? Could he get to you?
Was he too late?
He could hear Derek shouting for him, pleading with him to slow down. He didn’t understand, none of them would ever understand. You had to be ok. You were his everything. He should’ve never fallen in love with you, it wasn’t right. You were Jack’s nanny. You’d been with them since Haley died. You’d supported them since Haley died. Then you turned into someone whoAaron loved being around, someone he trusted with his son’s life, and his own. Then he waited up for you on his nights off, when you had your nights off. Then you waited for him on late work nights.
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The door opening startled you, as it always did, but you just glanced to the hall and saw Aaron hanging his coat.
“Evening,” you called to him. “Or should I say morning?”
He sighed. “Shouldn’t you be out? Isn’t Jack at a sleepover?” He smirked.
“Not all young people only want to party,” you rolled your eyes, finishing up washing a dish and turning to him. “Hungry?”
“I can’t ask you to make me food-”
The nightly battle of getting him to eat something with nutritious value rather than old cereal while he looked over reports. “Nonsense. I have leftovers from Jack’s dinner, it’ll take me 10 minutes-”
His hand on your waist stopped you from moving. “You’re here to take care of Jack, not me.”
You rolled your eyes, brushing his hand off. “I know, remembering that would be a lot easier if you could take care of yourself,” you huffed, moving to start cooking something for him.
He sighed. “Y/n,” he scolded.
You didn’t answer, and just continued.
His hands circled your waist and you stilled. You felt his hot breath on your neck, and swallowed as the air became heavier, as the moment held more weight.
“Aaron,” you whispered, slow and steady as it came out of your mouth.
“No one ever takes care of you,” he said, a wolf-ish smirk on his face, one that you could definitely get used to.
“You do,” you shrugged, trying to get back to the task at hand.
“How? How would you like me to take care of you?” Aaron Hotchner was a man of iron-solid resolve, a man that couldn’t break under too much pressure, that wouldn’t break under too much pressure. But you? You were his undoing, you guided him through everything, knowing he was keeping you and Jack safe everyday made his days less unbearable.
You chuckled lightly and turned around to face him. Then you pressed your lips to his.
He could’ve sworn you tasted like heaven. Your hands running through his hair, his hands on your waist, his lips on yours. Nothing could’ve felt better.
He pulled back and smiled.
You smiled too.
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“Hotch!” Derek shouted, finally getting a hand on him. “Jack is out of there, he’s safe!”
Aaron turned to him briefly. “Y/n isn’t out, she’s not here, is she Derek?”
“Who’s Y/n?” He cursed several times under his breath.
“His girlfriend,” you answered. You were banged up pretty badly, bruises and bleeding and dirt, but you were standing there. In front of him, you were real, you were alive. He opened his arms and you slumped into them.
“I tried my best to keep Jack out of it, I don’t know where he is, I just told him to run-” you spoke quickly, but he quieted you with a kiss to your head.
“He’s safe,” he promised. “You're safe too.”
You nodded, and buried your head in the crook of his neck as the team watched on in shock.
Aaron wasn’t planning on answering any of their questions, all he wanted was to have you and Jack home and safe. Where he could protect you.
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criminal minds masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games :)
#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#bau team#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds fandom#aaron hotchner#criminal minds fic#aaron hotchner fluff#thomas gibson x reader#thomas gibson#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotch fanfiction
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after my latest rewatch I am even more convinced that crowley really doesn't have the intense self-loathing issues he's commonly depicted with. like he has some regrets and bad memories and insecurities like everyone does, and he's under an insane amount of stress basically always, but he's very confident in who he is. he's not particularly happy about being a demon, but that isn't the same thing as hating himself for it. he hates hell, not himself.
like. he’s not upset about being called one of “the bad guys” because he agrees, he’s upset because he knows aziraphale is wrong, and because this is evidence that aziraphale still believes in a philosophy that has divided them since even before his fall. he has never once considered himself less than aziraphale or any other angel. I think it's clear that he's pretty offended by that implication, actually!
“crawly” as a name is too squirming-at-your-feet-ish for him because he knows who he is, and he sees value in that person. his depression and his worrying relationship with his own life and safety come from his feelings on god and predestination, not from self-loathing. crowley does not believe in the system. he doesn’t believe in the idea that people are purely good or evil, and he’s sure enough of himself to know that he's not either. that's why he's able to make the choices he does. he's able to act in the gray spaces between heaven and hell (see: job, the flood, the "virtues of poverty," armageddon, etc etc) because he is confident enough to make those decisions without worrying about what the powers that be say about what's "right" and "wrong."
that doesn’t mean that he’s not self-conscious. he’s very concerned with what humans think of him, what aziraphale thinks of him, and (out of self-preservation) what hell thinks of him. he hides his eyes and puts on a cool, flashy persona to hide the more vulnerable parts of himself. I think everyone does that, to a degree, but it's especially obvious in crowley because of how it manifests in his glasses. he's been burned (literally) before, and he knows better than to show weakness when he could be hurt like that again.
and re: the "I never meant to fall" thing--he's upset about being a demon, yeah, because the fall sounds like it sucked, and his job tortures him when he's Good or just Bad in the wrong way, and he's deeply lonely, and the love of his life has a complex about their relationship, and he's trapped in a system where he has to blindly follow one of two nearly-identical sets of bullshit morality rules or be executed. but again, he's mad at god, heaven, and hell for all of that. I'm sure he's angry at himself for all sorts of reasons often enough, because crowley is generally a pretty angry person, but he doesn't hate himself in any sort of existential "I am an unlovable monster" way.
maybe sometimes he regrets falling. maybe sometimes he thinks it would be easier if he never did. maybe sometimes he hates his fucking line manager and wishes he could do any other job for a while. but no part of crowley thinks that he is any worse of a person after the fall, or any less worthy of aziraphale's company. he just thinks aziraphale thinks that, because of the amount of times aziraphale has told him so.
#good omens#good omens 2#crowley#good omens meta#long post#if you are looking for a character with rampant self-loathing and self-doubt issues due to his relationship with god and heaven#may I introduce you to a guy called aziraphale ziraphale fell
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Ok there's vampire ares, but what about vampire or even pet Achilles, sadistic vampire reader who holds very popular "parties" where all the guests drink, have sex, and watch reader torture humans and vampires alike, maybe even add a casino element with people placing bets on who will scream loudest, last the longest without passing out, etc
cw;; blood drinking, blood, dehumanization, torture, needles, drugs
i was possessed to write this. i love this whole concept so much.
some vampires are kind to humans, they remember their own humanity and treat humans with care like domestic animals. some vampires have either forgotten or abandoned their original humanity in favour of making the weak suffer. and with modern technologies it's easier to push these humans to the absolute breaking point.
you're not so cruel as to hate humans, they make you money and entertain you after all, but you do enjoy hearing a human's will break. that's why you have your nightclub, an underground place where deranged perverts go to torture humans. human pets who were abandoned, human uprising activists, a greedy blood bank employee, a misbehaving human cattle, anything you wanted could be found right here. it was a demon's slice of heaven and the humans pit of hell.
you were enjoying the screams of the damned from your vip seat, blood wine in hand and two of the most sadistic female vampires you knew on your arms. they knew staying near you would mean they got a taste of the best humans to break. one of your usual suppliers approached your seat with 3 humans following behind him. two of them were clearly pets, numbers written on their faces to signify lot numbers, while the third and most beautiful wasn't marked or scarred he looked out of place.
"this was their last day on the auction. no one wants em so-"
"what about him."
the other vampire looks back at the pretty boy and sighs.
"he's a return. his owner complained he doesn't talk, doesn't scream, doesn't even get afraid."
your eyebrow raised in curiosity. you took his chain from the man, yanking the beautiful man closer to you.
"what's your name?"
"i told you he doesn't talk, sir. dunno how mu-"
"achilles."
his pretty voice was like honey. your supplier looked at him shocked while a smirk crossed your lips. you sat up fully intrigued by your new beautiful guest.
"achilles~ how come you're here and not being pampered and adored by one of the nice guys?"
"because I'm too beautiful to waste on them."
you laughed at that, the other vampires sheepishly joining in. as your laughter died you pulled him down to your level by his chain. your cold fingers gently brushed some of his pretty red curls out of his face.
"is that what the one who abandoned you said? or do you really believe it?"
it was amusing how naturally his stoic face leaned into your gentle touch.
"he told me that. he also said beautiful things, like me, look best when we're screaming and crying."
as if to punctuate his cold delivery you could hear a harsh thwack followed by a human's sobbing screams. you ran your thumb over his soft skin down to his pretty lips.
"that's why you didn't scream for him right? wouldn't make a noise, wouldn't cry. no, not you. you won't let these sick vampire bastards win. am i close?"
"i need to get home to my family. nothing he did to me was so unbearable that i couldn't endure for them."
your sadistic smirk turned to a genuine smile as you looked him over.
"... I'll make you a deal. you show me your worth and I'll protect your family."
he remained quiet contemplating it for a minute.
"if my worth is screaming and being in pain i don't know how well i can preform."
you let out a huff in amusement.
"don't worry I'll take care of your suffering if you agree to this."
"i would like to talk more about the terms but i just have to prove to you i have some value? is that correct?"
"that's correct."
"will any value be sufficient even if it's not what you're picturing?"
"hmmm... yes. even if your only value is your blood or your good looks. i still hope you'll endeavor to show me more than that, though."
"so i succeed by simply agreeing. you just hope to motivate me to be pushed to the edge?"
"yes. that's right. so, do you agree?"
"i agree."
you paid the supplier for all three of them, leaving the lesser two to the female vampires by your side. they both went about feeding on their new toys first while you sat achilles in your lap.
after a short while of just sitting there a waiter came up to you with a silver platter. in the middle of the platter was a syringe filled with a hot pink liquid. achilles eyed it, clearly intimidated by the sight but there was nothing he could do to stop you from picking it up. your other hand grabbed his jaw roughly, forcing his lips to purse.
"open."
he hesitated before he opened his mouth.
"tongue out."
his pretty wet tongue slipped out of his mouth giving him a slutty look there in your hands. pretty boy. you released his jaw but he kept his mouth open like a good boy. you tapped the syringe twice before bringing the sharp tip to his outstretched tongue. you didn't hesitate even as he flinched, plunging the whole thing into his tongue.
one of the girls looked at you both with wide eyes. "the whole thing??"
you gently removed the needle and placed it back on the silver platter, dismissing the waiter.
"what was it...?"
"if he's going to be amusing he'll need the whole thing. now get up and strip."
achilles hesitated again, his body actually frozen as he stood there brow furrowed. you let out a heavy sigh and began to unbutton his shirt.
"what... was it...?"
"it was something that will make you feel good. it makes your whole body sensitive."
you pulled his shirt down over his shoulders and discarded it to the side.
"is it dangerous to use all of it..."
"no. it'll just hit you really hard. it's ok, I'll take care of you but you do need to do exactly as I say. now take your pants off."
he stood up doing as you ordered with his cold face. he went to sit in your lap again but instead you lead him to the side of the couch and told him to stand there with his hands behind his back. he could feel everyone in the club staring at his naked body and you noticed his soft cock twitch slightly. you smirked before giving him a quick kiss and returning to your seat.
it took about 20 minutes before you finally heard a sound from achilles. you'd just been sharing one of the other pets, indulging in the free blood, when you heard the softest sluttiest whimper you've ever heard. you looked over to see your forgotten game with his entire body flushed and his cock stiff and leaking. he was clearly trying to stand still but even the slightest bit of breeze made him squirm and flinch. your eyes widened and your hunger that had been successfully satisfied so far tonight was like a fresh tidal wave. you needed to sink your fangs into him. you needed him screaming.
you got up abandoning everything too transfixed on your pretty toy to care. your breath was hitched when you reached inches from his wanting body, your fingers hovered over his skin. he looked over at you his stoic face now red and his eyes had hearts in them. he was like a masterpiece of want and desire you didn't even want to touch him for fear of ruining his perfect body. you hesitantly ran your fingers over his soft pink lips and a sultry moan flowed from his lips like honey.
everyone in the club was staring at you both now. everyone wanted this pretty piece of ass. you felt an odd twinge of jealousy and possessiveness strike. you pulled your hand away from your toy's lips instead grabbing his wrist roughly. god he let out another slutty moan. you couldn't stand that everyone could hear him. you started dragging him forcefully to your private room. as you did you noticed his feet struggling to keep up with your quick steps. you surprised yourself when you slowed down and matched his pace.
god you were already whipped for this pretty human.
as soon as you were in the private room you shoved him into the door, your mouth swallowing his slutty moans with a passionate kiss. his whole sensitive body twitched and jerked as his cock spilled cum onto his stomach. fuck. you pulled away to look at his mess leaving him gasping for air. he looked down as he tried to compose himself and the sight of his stomach covered in cum made him whimper. fuck.
you slammed your hand over his mouth hitting his head against the door.
"you're gonna fucking scream."
#replies#yandere oc#sub yandere#yandere x male reader#male reader#top male reader#dom male reader#yandere crime lord
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Vault Dweller's guide to perpetuating America:
Lucy Maclean x Fem!reader
Summary: Lucy is getting married and reader is forced to watch. but vault tech never planned for the inevitability of Sapphics…
Content: Fluff and angst, systematic homophobia, happy ending, no use of y/n
Authors note: Let me know if you want more of this or have any prompts to send it :)
Word count: 3.1K
Gay people were not a thing according to Vault Tech. They did not add to the breading pool, they did not fit into the nuclear future, they simply did not fit in the vault. Unlike sperm, cola, and corn, homosexuals did not play a key part in perpetuating the American dream. This was a good enough explanation for anyone willing to enquire (and enquire they had in the early years of Vault 33), but overall, as the years of confinement and isolation dragged on, and marriage for the sake of breading continued, homosexuality was quite simply... forgotten.
Rely on a schooling system created by greying, rich, white men to eradicate historical depictions of minorities. Education in the vaults was about the great west, cowboys, the splitting of the atom, the creation of the commonwealths, and the importance of capitalism; education was certainly not for understanding the distant Stonewall riots or the ancient tunes of "Freddy Mercury". heck! This was the new world! a once in a lifetime opportunity to reshape society! If Vault Tech could systematically remove a section of society that could not reproduce and thus could not recolonize the wasteland then they sure as hell would do just that.
Now let's be clear: Vault Tech loves and values all its customers! The fight against the Reds was the fight for American freedom, for the dream, for the nuclear family, for the blue, white, and red! America celebrates freedom for all! but even in the great year of 2077, scientists at Vault tech simply couldn't work in the variable of homosexuals into the Vault system. At least not into the control vaults. Systematic eradication is, by all means, easier than acceptance.
Vault 33! One vault in a triad with 31 and 32. A dedicated meritocracy built on the values of one's good deeds. Lucy Maclean prided herself on her merit and her ethics. She knew how to de-escalate a conflict, she knew how to stand up for her beliefs, and she knew the importance of kindness. She also knew her valuable role as a woman in the Vault 33 society.
As a woman, the daughter of the overseer, she would be a community leader, a history teacher, and maybe later in life, she would run for council. As a woman, she would also get married (preferably not to her cousin) and have little vault babies who would grow up, learn their own merit, and so on and so on. To say that Lucy was comfortable and fulfilled by this prediction of her life would be... a vast exaggeration.
Yes, she understood her importance as a potential mother! Yes, she loved and valued her community, her family, and her job. But something stopped her from becoming stagnant. Something about this perfect path she had been given just wasn't right for her. It grated at her relentlessly, a thorn in her side, a nagging hunch she couldn't shake. Surely it would change on the day of her wedding. She would meet her husband, kiss, make babies, have cake and everything would settle. The unease she felt would lessen and she would accept her designated role.
~
"I am so glad your marriage application was accepted! I just cannot wait for you to join us wives!" Steph squeaked, one hand cradling the ever-growing bump in her tummy while the other waved around to illustrate her excitement. Steph was the carbon copy of what Vault Tech stood for: she was a wife, a soon-to-be mother, smart and strong-willed. She was drop-dead gorgeous with well-maintained hygiene. when you thought of the "American dream" you thought of Stephanie Harper.
Lucy grinned back, fighting the urge to roll her eyes (eye rolling was rude and there were more effective ways to respectfully communicate your disdain).
"Oh golly! to think in a few short hours I’ll be on my way to furthering the vault's great aim!" She smiled for real this time because she knew her discomfort did not stem from contempt for motherhood.
"Oh, Lucy spare me the lewd details!" Steph giggled before winking.
"I know you don't mean that Steph. you and me both know you want as much detail as I can give." Lucy chuckled, picking at the canned tuna on her plate.
The dining area near the cornfield was particularly packed today; everyone wanted one last glimpse of Lucy Maclean before she was assigned to the ranks of wife. The stares and whispers were not unwelcome, however. They reminded her of the community that she was a part of the community she had been raised to help and to eventually add to.
"I hope he's handsome" Steph breathed, looking begrudgingly at her own husband who was standing awkwardly next to the Nuka-Cola machine with Chet. Lucy just swallowed hard and nodded. It was easier to think about the more fun parts of marriage than linger on the particulars of her mystery partner.
She was grateful for the marriage of course. It meant an excuse to cut things off with Chet who had been steadily grating on her nerves since she was 15 (he seemed to love her and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't begin to think of him like that in return. his warm body was truly his only perk.) It was also a milestone for her, a badge of honor to her community service. This is what vault tech wanted! This is what America wanted!
Lucy pushed back from her chair, suddenly feeling nauseous.
"Lucy, are you ok? you look a little pale dear?" Betty called from the seat next to her father. At the sound of her voice, the vault dwellers looked up to find Lucy standing awkwardly by her table.
"Oh! Yes, quite alright thank you!" she shrugged, teeth glinting with faux charm. "I just... I just wanted to have a nap before it gets too chaotic." lying was wrong. You were taught that very young in Vault 33. Lucy pushed down the stab of guilt before turning on her heels towards her family's shared apartment.
~
You watched her stand up from her table with a start that made you furrow your eyebrows and look away quickly. You would never admit to anyone that you had been staring at her, but you knew you had been. She was easy to stare at! She was a figure of authority, in a sweet and slightly clumsy way. Your excuse, should anyone catch you, was simply that you admired her can-do spirit! (that wasn't a lie though you couldn't label it as the truth either).
The other part of the truth was that you had been staring at her like a lost puppy since her marriage arrangement was announced. You and Lucy's friendship was... complicated. You had grown up together (as all vault children did), and your families were close (but not related as a "fun class DNA test" had proved during your school years). things got rocky as you got older though: Lucy was outgoing, confident, and stunning. All together just all the things you wished you were. That is, not to say you weren't pretty! In fact, you had received a few proposals in the past year (mostly from an anonymous admirer you knew was Davey, and a couple from Chet after he realized things with Lucy wouldn't work out). You and Lucy where still close, and to her, probably as uncomplicated at a friendship could get!
The complication was simply that to you it had become increasingly obvious that you were desperately in love with her.
You had noticed it first when you were about 14. Lucy was stunning, having never suffered the "awkward teenager" phase of adolescence, and was quickly discovering her hypnotic power over Chet. You weren't jealous of course! at least... not at first. But then it was more than Lucy's teasing flirtation: it was kissing, it was spending time with him more than usual. Suddenly you were jealous. Jealous in a way that couldn't be explained by the "Vault-Tech: Guild to female friendships" or "Vault-Tech: female adolescence in the Vault" or even by your mother's trusty copy of "surviving the teenage years: a manual sponsored by General atomics."
It got worse when you turned 17. Sex Education was vitally important in Vault education. it prevented the spread of disease, enabled knowledgeable future mothers and fathers, and fostered respect and dignity between men and women. It was in one of these detailed lessons that you caught yourself watching Lucy's expression: laughing at times, cringing at the birth diagrams, blushing at parts with a quick side eye to you.
The realization hit you like a ton of bricks as your eyes fluttered to her lips and lingered there for a moment too long. It hit you again at 18 during your "prom" when Lucy danced with you slowly as the light from the 2.5D Telesonic projector scattered across her cheekbones and lit up her doe-eyes. you remember almost pushing her away from the force of it. The force of the feeling, the emotion, the unholy urge to press your lips to hers that caught you like a punch.
That night you had curled in a ball and prayed. you did not know who "god" was, but you'd heard about him in class before. You prayed to him to make you a boy, to change your emotions, to make things make sense again. Your mother had stroked your hair, not truly understanding your grief but accepting it and holding it for you like only a mother can.
In your world of perfect underground utopia, the truest sorrow you had ever felt was the realization that you loved Lucy Maclean.
~
It took you a split second to stand up and follow Lucy out of the atrium. A second in which your mind reeled and hesitated sickeningly before you shut it up. Lucy was your friend, and she needed you now. Your footsteps echoed down the hall as you took the familiar path along the "street" toward Lucy's home. The door was only just sliding shut as you reached it and you rushed to duck under.
Lucy was where you expected her to be: knees to her chest, curled up on the sofa. Her hands were clenched in front of her, and her eyes were set at some point just beyond the "radiation king" television set that was blasting its usual nature documentary. She didn't look up as you entered, but the slight dip in her shoulders told you that she knew you were there.
"Lucy?" you called quietly, kneeling on the rug near her. she turned to you slowly and smiled politely as she was raised to.
"hey" she muttered, clearly trying to keep her tone cheerful.
you fixed her a look before sitting softly next to her on the sofa. She remained in her tight ball.
"pre-wedding nerves?" you asked, ignoring the lump that formed just next to your heart at the thought of Lucy's marriage. You watched her expression for confirmation, but it never came. Instead, she furrowed her brows and looked back at the nothing behind the TV.
"I'm sure everyone gets nervous before their wedding Lucy. Steph could tell you a million stories of her 'pre-wedding wobbles'" you chuckled, remembering Stephs wedding day not long ago.
"Its... it's not that." Lucy finally responded, tightening her grip around her legs.
"Then wha-"
"What if I don't want this... Like I thought I did" she blurted, the words mushing together as she fought to get them out of her mouth. You pursed your lips, desperate for her to continue. After a moment of silence, she started again, quieter and more measured.
"I feel so... Wrong. and I don't know-" she cut herself off, swallowed, and began again, "I don't want what Steph has anymore."
"What? the wedding? I'm sure your father would agree to a smaller celebration if you told him! I think he just likes to make a fuss of you."
Lucy shook her head. Finally, she let her legs fall away from her chest as she turned to face you with a dramatic sigh.
"I've always been so certain. and now... well I am certain but just not of the things I should be." She shut her eyes, needing to get away from your face for a moment. The lessons flashed in front of her eyes in quick succession: reclamation day, the purpose of the vaults, reproduction, male anatomy, romance, how to be a wife, the American dream. It flashed and flashed and then sank into her gut like an over-set Jello cake.
You watched her face shift from carefully masked to strangely tortured and back again before she opened her eyes once more. how you missed those eyes in that moment you couldn't see them.
She reached forward and held your hand, her finders dusting over yours curiously as if she was handling some strange new specimen. she'd held your hand before, countless times in the 20 years you'd known each other; and yet her fingers felt tentative in a way they hadn't before.
"Lucy... it's ok to be scared, it's ok to feel unsure. heck, you know I spend most of my time feeling unsure." you cast her a weak smile, "I know you, and I know you will be an amazing bride to whoever you marry. You'll be a perfect wife; you’ll be an amazing mother and one day I know you'll make an amazing overseer as well. And Lucy? even if it feels hard, you know I'll always be here." You had long ago settled into your role of best friend, nothing more. You would be there, and you would love her (in a way approved by social expectations).
Lucy stayed quiet for a long time, still slowly tracing over your fingers with her own. It had clocked for her the moment you had entered the room after her dramatic exit from the atrium. she wasn't unsure, she wasn't uncertain. I fact, she felt as though she had never been more certain in her whole life.
Maybe it had started when she was 12, when you had helped her take her first ever stimpack: holding the needle steady, wiping her eyes with your own hand and giving her a little Vault-Boy band-aid to cover the little hole.
Maybe it had started when she was 15 and getting a steady stream of attention from boys (mostly Chet) and could only watch your disdained reaction to her suitors. Even then she had a hunch that she cared more about your opinion on her "boyfriends" than the boys themselves.
Maybe it was when she was 18, pulling you through a maintenance tunnel by your hand with a high-pitched giggle and a determination to find a good meeting place for when you no longer had school to attend. She remembers your initial reluctance, followed by rebellious cheek that pushed you both further into the guts of the vault than you had planned on. She remembers the oil that had got on your face that she insisted on wiping away herself.
She tore her eyes away from your hands and stared at you with all the intensity and authority that the overseer’s daughter should possess.
"I’m not scared. and golly I feel about as far from unsure as a girl can be." her hands tightened around yours. "This vault... we are told what we do and what we feel. heck, they even tell us who we should marry! Maybe I'm being silly but that doesn't fit into the 'American dream' they are always yammering on about!" her voice rose had she got more passionate. you watched her with a mix of shock and awe (an emotion you often felt yourself feeling when you were around her)
"I've always nodded along to what they've told us! who am I to doubt the rules?" she continued, her eyes never leaving yours, "but this marriage... I don't want that!" she concluded with a huff, finally blinking and pursing her lips as if she'd suddenly gotten shy.
It was your turn to reach out to her now, freeing one of your hands from her grip and placing it softly on her shoulder. you put on a calm expression, but your heart betrayed you: beating rapidly as if trying to escape its spot behind your ribs.
"What is it you want if not the marriage?" you whispered, feeling the moments fragility.
a beat.
Lucy sighed, stealing herself. her eyes were no longer full of angry passion, but rather softer, watery. her expression seemed to mirror the way you knew you were looking at her.
"I think- no, I know... Gosh, I want you so badly" she breathed.
Another war could have started and ended, and you wouldn't have noticed. The air stilled despite the constant circulation of the vents and the clock on the wall must have stopped ticking. Silence, a long silence that must have only spanned a fraction of a second.
Her words, like the flash of light as a fission reaction begins, followed by a lull followed by...
You launched forward before Lucy could hesitate, before you could leave her hanging, before she could dare think that you didn't want her back. her lips touched yours and it reminded you of the desperate prayers you used to send to the man called "god" (you thanked him now that he never changed you). There were no fireworks like the books said, no large, forced explosion, no splitting of an atom. Instead, it felt... inevitable, like the slow decay of an element, like aging gracefully, like coming home.
Her lips slotted against yours perfectly, softly and she gasped as she kissed you back. you kissed not for the purpose of "perpetuating America" or building the next generation of vault dwellers, but simply because you wanted to.
She pulled back after a while, bleary eyes and pink-cheeked with a grin that made your heart grow.
"I did... know we could..." she let out before laughing, one hand covering her mouth while the other found its way to the side of your face where it lingered. You laughed too, sides splitting and eyes watering.
"Who the hell cares" you spluttered between laughs, leaning into Lucys hand.
"If it wasn't clear... I want you to. in a um... kissing way"
"Oh really? I wouldn't have guessed" she drawled playfully, "well then... I think we have a wedding to wreck."
"What will you tell them?"
She shrugged and scooched a little closer. "That's a future Lucy problem. Current Lucy is preoccupied..." She smiled at you in a manner that was really more of a smirk.
You had barely enough time to squeak out a rather excited "Okey Dokey" before it was her turn to shut you up with a kiss.
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hi! i am not sure if you will have good advice for this but your photography guide made me think about this issue. i grew up quite poor (school supplies were a struggle every september) and now as an adult i am not as financially stable as id like. this has made me very scared to use any art supplies because im always thinking that im wasting them on not good enough projects or not good enough skills or similar thinking. however that leads to me having supplies bc of gifts and whatnot (ie watercolor paper) but not using it out of anxiety. do you have any advice? thanks!
There are two ways that I go about getting over this kind of issue:
Get out the supplies right now and start making any marks. Cut a piece of watercolor paper in half. Draw a line down the center of a page in grease pencil. Do anything to just start using it to get over the "can't open it, must save for special occasions/projects" mindset. Once you've broken the seal on a first use, it's a lot easier to use tools or notebooks or paints a second time.
Plan projects for yourself like they're assignments. Give yourself a deadline and materials list, write it up like a school assignment sheet, and then do the assignment.
And, if it helps to think of it this way: you're likely hesitant to use your materials because you don't want them "going to waste," but at the moment they are being wasted because they aren't being used.
It is solidly my opinion that art supplies used for art are never wasted; not all "art" is meant to be kept and a part of the process of creating art is practice, which should lead to massive piles of clumsily made, "bad" art that you wouldn't want to hang up on the wall but is nonetheless a part of the process of making art that you'd want to hang on the wall.
You may be looking at the watercolor paper and thinking "I shouldn't break into this because each piece of this paper needs to be something special to show that I value this gift" but you don't get better at painting with watercolors if you use them on printer paper. You need to use the paper (and the paints, and your brushes) to maintain and improve your fluency with the medium.
Many people are hesitant to "waste" sketchbooks or good paper or canvas or expensive paint because they think they are throwing away the good things they *could* make if only the had the perfect plan and create the perfect piece of art with each page and each new tube.
But these things are consumables. Your sketchbook is not a guitar, and it is not a finished song, it is a set of strings. The lovely watercolor paper is a gift for you to make art with, but it is also a gift for you to *practice* making art with and the practice is just as much a part of the gift as a finished artwork would be.
So you're not wasting it if you just get out your paper and start painting with no plan, or if you "mess up" a piece, or if you just use the paper for practice.
So, if you're trying to get yourself to use watercolor paper specifically, I have an assignment for you:
Watercolor Thumbnails Assignment
Materials: Watercolor paper, 2 colors of paint (your choice), Hard pencil Tools: Ruler, Small and medium brushes, Palette
Instructions:
Using your pencil and your ruler, divide the page into 10 equal rectangles.
Visit this website and click the "surprise me" button. Select 10 artworks to create monochrome thumbnails of. (you can click as many times as you need to, but the goal here is to do thumbnails of art that you aren't familiar with rather than seeking out art that you know well for this assignment)
Reproduce each of the images as a monochrome thumbnail in the ten rectangles you've marked on your paper. You don't have to mix a unique color for each rectangle, but you should mix a few different colors and use only one for each rectangle. For instance, if you are using green and yellow paint, some images should be yellow, some should be green, some should be green-yellow, some should be yellow-green.
Purpose:
To use your materials
Work on achieving different values with single colors by layering or diluting your paint.
Composition study
Time Limits:
Once you have collected your ten images and have your station set up, you should take no more than one hour to complete your thumbnails.
Due Date: July 20th 2024
___________________
If you are not familiar with watercolor, here's a good video on some of the basic techniques for painting with watercolor:
And this is a good example of a monochrome painting done in watercolor; if you want, you can watch the video and use it as a tutorial to practice getting a feel for monochrome painting.
youtube
Use this assignment to practice! Make use of the gift that you were given by familiarizing yourself with the medium and thinking about art and working in color.
I'm going to play along too and will reblog this post with my thumbnails on July 20th - anyone who wants to join in is welcome to do so as well.
And everyone please remember: time and materials spent doing something you love or practicing a skill you enjoy are never wasted. Even if you don't end up with a "good" finished product, you have learned something and that, in itself, is valuable.
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Hey i saw you ranting about trans men on a post, and i was just wondering a few things. This is a genuine question, as a stelth trans man, i really cant find anything about a pre op transitioning body attractive. Especially a pre op Chest. Now i do take testosterone, and i think that the parts that i find gross (ex: tits mixed with chest hair) are a perfectly acceptable thing to deal with so i can look the way i want to look. I love my body hair and my muscle growth, i just dont love the obviously not cis parts of me. What do you find attractive about this? I truely cannot for the life of me understand why people find trans men attractive but i would really like to understand.
I think spicy food is disgusting generally. it's like. hot and not fun and to me it adds nothing good to the food experience. Genuinely I don't understand why people enjoy hot foods it makes like. literally no sense.
and yet, people do. it's weird. I've tried on multiple occasions to get into spicy food and it just. suks. every single time it sucks. But everyone else in my family lives by it. And I've asked why for years literally unable to understand it until I realized.
sometimes people just. like things. things I certainly don't like and cannot enjoy whatsoever. But at the same time, this is true for me and not for them. I fucking love coffee to the point I drink it more than water most days, but no one else in my family likes it. BUT other people outside my family enjoy it too.
Life is weird and what I'm getting at is something that took me a lifetime to understand and I still can't wrap my head around it all the time.
People just like things. People love things and hate things. What things mean to one person can mean the world to another and death to the third. There's not always a reason for it, but what you have to do is accept that there are things in life that you just might not like much right now. but as time goes on you'll find value in it the same way your partner will find value in you and all the minuscule things you do and become and like and dislike.
And to build on that point, there are things I hated as a kid that I'm fine with and even love now. Each day changes you more than you'll ever know and with those changes, the acceptance that comes with them may be easier or harder.
So, to answer your question, I don't know! I just love men. Men with tits or pecs, men with vaginas or dicks. maybe both at the same time or neither at all! I just think men are generally attractive no matter the design or what's different about them. and not just men but people who present as masc in general. If you're masc nb there's a chance I'm looking at you through the window of a bar as much as if you were cis-male or trans-male.
I do know for some men, the allure of masculinity displaced with the typically-feminine concept of a vagina intrigues them. Maybe it's the juxtaposition of them together, maybe they just want something unique and new to them. Maybe they just really like vaginas and it doesn't matter who it's attached to, or maybe they just like trans men. Same thing with boobs, some guys just like boobs. Some men have boobs. the overlap doesn't mean net-negative results, it could be double positive.
And I don't expect you to love everything about yourself, god knows I don't love everything about myself, and despite people telling me what's good about me I can still find flaws within it whenever I choose. I think men with chest hair are hot as fuck, but also I've seen some smooth men that are just as if not hotter. I love me a fat man or a man with muscles, but i've seen twinks i'd demolish in one sitting as well. I've seen men with dicks and boobs and scars and and hair pretty much everything under the sun and sometimes I want them to sit on me and forget I'm there and smother me.
What you do have to do though is accept that you have those things, and you are those things, and even though you may not like those things you have to accept that they're a part of you and find value in that. And it's not an easy task at all to love yourself, but you have to try because even if you don't right now, there's a partner who will be waiting for you somewhere. there's a future version of you who loves you as you are. there are friends who love your flaws, pets who don't judge, and there are a lot of things that accept you as you are.
So just say you have boobs and chest hair. even if you don't love it about yourself right now know that there are and will always be people who do, and personally I've said before, but I wish i had boobs and chest hair it's just a perfect look to me. I'm fine with whatever my gender is, i just think its a good look. If I had money for top and bottom surgery I'd get it and never look back. You just have to find the value in yourself we all know is there, and if you can't just know that we know it's there and let that carry you through the day!
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Part 5 of a 5 part series about the ways harmful practices are being made to sound more appealing and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful approaches.
Communication support is a desperately needed thing for so many autistic people and their families. So unlike some of the other things I’ve posted about this week, this is 100% a worthy goal. Unfortunately, many places that claim they can offer it are not delivering.
In some cases, they simply don’t have the education to properly support communication needs (I’m looking at you, ABA). Other times they do have the proper education (ie Speech Language Pathologists) but they will gatekeep certain methods of communication, either because they believe harmful myths about them or they haven’t been trained in that particular method. Also, not every SLP knows about Gestalt Language Processing, so even an otherwise great therapist could be missing some information.
So here are some questions to ask when trying to figure out if someone is truly capable of offering well-rounded, neuro-affirming communication support:
Are they more concerned with making the client easier to deal with for others, or are they focused on the client’s rights, needs, and wishes? (We’re looking for the second one.)
Do they address the client directly, or do they speak as if the client isn’t even in the room? (We’re looking for the first one.)
Do they see speech and language as a behavioral thing? (Verbal Behavior and PECS are dead giveaways - and we want a NO.)
Do they understand that an inability to produce speech has no bearing on a person’s ability to think and feel? (YES✅)
Do they only push for speech, see speech as the end goal, or value speech above all other methods of communication? (NO✅)
Do they honor things like echolalia, pointing to objects, and bringing an adult over to something they want as valid communication? (YES✅)
Do they honor things like refusal to participate, crying, and meltdowns as valid communication? (YES✅)
Do they believe that things like pacifiers, AAC, or responding to “non-functional communication” discourages speech/“functional” communication? (NO✅)
Do they know about Gestalt Language Processing and believe it is a thing? (YES✅)
Do they require “pre-requisites” before they will try alternative communication methods? (NO✅)
Do they require the client to earn time on their AAC device or remove the device when they deem it a distraction, essentially taking away their voice? (NO✅)
Do they know who to send you to if they aren’t personally trained in an approach they think would be more helpful? (YES✅)
Obviously, trying to find someone local to you with all the green flags and no red ones is kind of like trying to find a unicorn for most people. But if you have a choice between two or more therapists, you can at least go with the one who has more right answers and be ready to advocate/educate when needed.
If you literally have only one option available to you and it’s not a good one, you can either be ready to advocate at every turn or just choose not to use their services. Yeah, that’s allowed! Not every autistic person needs speech therapy, and not all communication support has to be directly administered by a professional. You as the parent or caregiver will play a huge role in supporting your person with their communication needs, and luckily there are online resources and virtual trainings that can help you do that.
P.S. What’s the difference between PECS and picture cards, you ask? PECS is a whole ABA-based program that uses a limited set of picture cards and should be avoided for several reasons. Meanwhile, plain old picture cards are something that can be made and used by anyone without any specific program.
P.P.S. Zero debates about the legitimacy of Spelling to Communicate (S2C) or Rapid Prompting Method (RPM) will be entertained (translation - it will be deleted so don’t waste your time).
#autism#autistic#actually autistic#apraxia#nonspeaking#nonverbal#aac#communication is a right#gestalt processing
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Since you do VERY dark subjects and such, do expect me to request for Mammon often LMAO
Okay so--
General HC's for Mammon with reader who is his GF?
(HELLUVA BOSS) YANDERE! MAMMON x GIRLFRIEND READER: Headcannons
RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
BARISTA'S NOTE: EEEEEE! sorry this one took so long!! i'm happy you requested this cause AGHHHHH I LOVE THIS PINE TREE MAN!!! favourite character frfr. if you ever do request when open then PLEASE go as dark as you like, trust me, i enjoy writing it :D
FANDOM: Helluva Boss
Thank you for ordering!
Come again soon!
• Oooh! Intresting!
• I headcannon Mammon as a possessive, Manipulative and controlling kinda yandere. Mostly coming from his position as the King of greed.
• Especially once you’ve gotten in a relationship with him these traits are tenfold.
• Mammon views you as his possession, And a valuable one at that. You are his, He likes showing you off too as he brings you around his workplace and flaunting you like jewellery
• If anyone dares to touch what is his, Mammon would not hesitate to absolutely crush them. It doesn’t matter if its a creepy fan or a close family member. He doesn’t care, They’re getting obliterated.
• Mammon doesn’t show his care for you, Deeming it as unprofitable. But he does care even though he insults and berates you often, Even when it gets physical, He does love you.. He does! Don’t you realise this is all because he loves you..?
• He manipulates you into staying with him by promising you mountains of luxury. Whatever pleasures and desires you may want will be served on a silver spoon, Especially after a physical argument (Though you don’t know that its solely so you don’t leave)
• No one really knows how you two got together, One day you just showed up sitting next to him while watching one of his shows.
• You could’ve started out as a performer trying to get to the face of his brand, And Mammon, Somehow grew a liking for you more than just your monetary value.
• You could also have been a PR stunt, Him paying you to be his partner. Mammon, The King of Greed getting in a relationship? Preposterous! It would only drive more people to his shows just to see if they were true, Making more money.
• But he doesn’t know what attracted him to you. Maybe it was your cunning nature, Your lust for more and more. Or maybe it could’ve been your genuine creativity, A want to make out of passion and not pennies.
• Either way, You’re both in a relationship now, Hooray!
• Though the quality of your bond really depends on how you react to his rather unsavoury tendencies.
• If you’re fine with it/have Stockholm syndrome then its gonna be a much easier time with him.
• You’ll be taken out with him more, Mammon likes boasting about you and how much of prize you were to have as a girlfriend. He’ll tone down his insults to banter and the amount of gifts you get will be increased tenfold.
• Mammon enjoys taking you out on expensive dates, Restaurants in the lust ring with a bottle of their most fine wine being opened in your favour. It’s only on these dates you can really see Mammon have something of a soft side, Giving disguised compliments and maybe even a genuine smile or two.
• You’ll be much more free, Being able to roam around his place of living freely, Ability to go out shopping without him (But, With a good few bodyguards, That is) And the right to go do what you want.
• Though Mammon does dictate what you wear and will order you to come to certain events, You don’t mind as you believe you’re just spending time with the Christmas tree you call your boyfriend.
• Physical touch is also a big thing for him, Also being a display of ownership. An arm around you, You on his lap or simple goodbye kisses are all too common for the both of you.
• Its sweeter, Even though the glasses you buy are rose-tinted, You enjoy the nicer moments.
• However if you’re considered unruly, Actively don’t reciprocate his obsession and god forbid try to escape..
• You’ll be tossed into a cage, One of the carnival trailer ones where they keep animals. That's where you stay, Not his expensive condo. You won’t be spoiled with rich foods and pleasures beyond your imagination, Only being served with what the show dogs are being fed with.
• If you want to act like a bitch, You’ll be treated like one. That’s what Mammon thinks. He’s pissed that you don’t appreciate him for everything he’s given you! All the money he’s spent! You’re his girlfriend, Why the hell are you acting like this.
• You won’t be taken out, Not until you learn how to behave. Mammon still visits you daily, No sweetness in his voice as he insults you and breaks you down with your biggest insecurities. He wants to break you, Just so he can build you back up into the perfect partner, Both for his reputation and his own selfish desires.
• If this process takes too long then Mammon will get angry and ramp up his abuse, Resorting to beatings or even torture just to get your mind into a mouldable state.
• Mammon is a horrible yandere to have, If you couldn’t tell.
• Sometimes when he’s in a better mood, He might toss you his leftovers or actually give you a blanket to sleep with instead of the horse hay you were using. Though he really does care, This is more of a manipulative tactic to get you to act better in order to get more stuff.
• If you ever do give up and give into him, Mammon would be stoked. He’d treat you as if nothing ever happened while you just had the worst experience of your entire life.
• You’d be absolutely traumatised, Even though Mammon does feel only the tiniest bit guilty, He ignores it in favour of just forgetting that it ever happened.
• The only way I ever see you escaping him is if you have connections with any other of the kings, Especially the more powerful ones like Beelzebub. If they care enough or you have a certain relationship (Platonic or otherwise) they could probably bail you out, Secretly of course, You’re going into hell’s witness protection after this.
• Mammon would be pissed, Yelling and destroying everything around him as he demands his employees to find you. Basically having the biggest tantrum of his life.
• When he finds you with the money he bribed people with, It really depends if you do have a connection to one of the kings because if so that would stop him from taking you back. Leaving him to absolutely explode over what happened, Just fuming and scheming a way to get you back.
• If you don’t have a connection to one of the kings, Then he’ll drag you back to the greed ring screaming. He won’t hesitate to yell obscenities and break your legs, Throw you into the trailer cage and start the torture all over.
• But hey! What can you expect?
• This is the king of greed, Of course he’ll never let you go.
• Not for a very, VERY long time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
#yandere#yandere x reader#tw yandere#yandere x you#moodboard#yandere headcanons#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss#helluva boss mammon#mammon x reader#yandere helluva boss#helluva boss season 2#helluva boss x reader#mammon x you#mammon x y/n#helluva boss mammon x reader#yandere male#yandere mammon#yandere mammon x reader#x reader#hazbin hotel#vivziepop#helluva boss fanfiction#helluva boss fandom#hazbin hotel x reader#yandere hazbin hotel#male yandere#soft yandere#yandere aesthetic#headcanon
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Hey, I want request Aventurine with Noelle reader.
Imagine the trailblazer use Noelle reader to get Aventurine home.
Stelle/ Caelus: “Aventurine, I have your little sister.. please come home”
Noelle reader being held by Stelle/ Caelus: “I think it won’t work—“
*Insert Astral train door open with yellow glow..*
Aventurine pop out from train: “My little sister? Where is she?”
I think some achievements for them
Aventurine/ Noelle reader in battle will achieve “The gambler and his little maid”
Or Aventurine/ Topaz/ Ratio/ Noelle reader will achieve “Here come the IPC”
a jewel and a maid
synopsis - when he meets someone who reminds him all too much of a familiar familial feeling
includes - aventurine
warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight crack, maybe ooc, found family kinda?, wc - 655
a/n: i love the achievements!!
the IPC wasn't exactly the best place to work but they were somewhat tolerable - more so for thise fortunate enough to be valued and given higher positions. you're position was so so to say the least, you had been assinged to work under someone of similar level to P47 which wasn't that bad compared to some others. you didn't exactly have high expectations but you'd still try and apply yourself to the best of your abilities, maybe then your job would be easier.
it was extremely fortunate for you to be placed under aventurine's sector within the stonehearts. it's not like he really needed many people working under him or that he wanted them to but he wouldn't really have room to argue when diamond himself arranged it. over a surprisingly short period of time, you had proven yourself to be quite the valuable member of the IPC - despite you not really vying for their attention, you just wanted to do your job and lay low.
aventurine recognised this and he didn't exactly blame you. normally your kind of skill would easily be swooped up by the IPC and used to their advantage, not yours. he too once had been snatched by the IPC, fortunately he managed to weasel something out of them in return. so you both were quite content to continue on as is, to which you were thankful.
during your time working with aventurine, you naturally had become much closer than simple colleagues. you two acted as if you'd known eachother for years. although you didn't exactly act much differently, still content to simply do your job, but aventurine became noticeably more friendlier. he acted much more cordial with you, more favourable and you did appreciate the familiarity.
when he caught himself actually acting so familiar with you, he stopped. he'd never really gotten so close and comfortable with someone before - well there were a few exceptions but with you, it felt more familial than a friendship of such. it had been an extremely long time since he had felt as such and it admittedly scared him a little.
however as even more time passed, it became much more natural for each of you to see the other in a much more familial way. again, it still felt odd to him but atleast he knew he could come sround to it eventually. for now, he could only look after you as if you were a sister to him.
---✩
'i don't think this will work-' you tried voicing your concerns but you were shushed by the trailblazer.
'you might want to listen to them' dan heng tried to interject but it seems that his words also fell upon the deaf ears of trailblazer - or they more likely just ignored him.
the only response either of you got was the trailblazer opting to pick you up and hold you toward the express doors with a declaration 'please! come home! look who's waiting with us!'
this time it was march to look rather concerned over at the trailblazer before adding 'i have to agree, i don't think this will work...' she looked at you with pity as the trailblazer practically triumphed you in the air.
right before you could get another word in and ask to be put down, everyone stopped and stared at the gilden light that emerged from the door. the trailblazer held you out even more in a desperate final plea as 'please' repeatedly fell from their lips.
not too long after, the express doors slammed open and a rather excited, maybe franctic, aventurine became present. despite the trailblazers excitement, aventurine ran straight to you to.
taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn
#—stellaronhvnters.#x reader#x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail aventurine#aventurine x you#aventurine x reader
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Hi! Could you do a Caitlin Clark one where we surprise her at one of the Fever Games?
hi! yes ofc! sorry it’s taken me a while to post this! ive been swamped with essays for my summer classes :( i chose to do the fever game against dc where cait had one of her best games of the season! i figured it was fitting if y/n surprised her and she saw her during the first quarter and started dedicating the game to her and it helped her make her shots! i also decided to make y/n a singer who’s touring, which is why she can’t make all of cc’s games!
dc surprise c.clark x reader
caitlin clark x reader!
summary: you're on tour for festival season (its giving chappell roan) and you haven't been able to make it to one of caitlin's games for a while. you finally are able to make it to one and come to DC to surprise her!
!𝑨𝑩𝑩𝒀 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺¡
okay i love how this started but idk how i feel abt the ending bc i kind of rushed it but its okay
first cc fic hehehe
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: the use of y/n?
The last two months have been crazy for you. The festival season had begun, which meant you were on the road more often than not, touring all over the states, playing show after show with no breaks. It made it impossible to take any time off for yourself, making it incredibly hard to find the time to watch your girlfriend play her first few games as a pro.
You’d caught a break for her very first game, spending the week before with her while she finished up training camp and supported her through the loss of her first game pre-season, and their loss against Connecticut. But you’d only made it to a few others, including the game in Las Vegas as you’d wanted to see her and Kate play. But festivals almost every other weekend, and the process of recording your new album made it hard.
Caitlin understood she knew what she’d signed up for when she asked you to be her girlfriend two years ago. It didn’t make it easier, but she understood. You had a responsibility to your fans and to your label just as she had a responsibility for her team and the league.
The two of you had been inseparable while still in school, you taking part-time classes while juggling your rising stardom, Cait constantly at games or practice, but you lived together, and that made it easier. Right now, Caitlin lived in Indiana, and you lived in hotel rooms, scarcely able to make it back to her apartment.
Finally, there was a break in your schedule, coming only two days before you were set to perform at Gov Ball in New York. Caitlin would be in DC for a game, you’d decided to make the trip out there as it was only a few hours from the city and you could stay a few days there with her. You hadn’t told Cait your plan but you’d texted some of her teammates and Katie Lou pulled through, her family had spots courtside as her sister played for the Mystics and they had a seat for you and a few of your friends. All you had to do was let your management know about your little detour, but it wouldn’t be a huge deal because of the publicity you’d get at the game.
The public knew you and Cait were friends, and some people suspected you were more, and you were very open with your sexuality. But, Caitlin was more reserved, she wanted to keep your relationship more private, to try and keep the vultures off your backs. You’d both seen what the media could do to relationships and valued the health of your relationship over the ability to flaunt each other in public.
There were also of course the fans who shipped you with Kate. This had caused a bit of tension between you and Caitlin, especially after the Fever game in Vegas, where people pointed out it was one of the only games you’d attended. But Kate put the rumors to rest mentioning how she saw you as a younger sister on one of Jada’s lives. Which was a relief, and Cait was ready to risk it all just to prove to the internet that you were hers.
Sometimes you wondered how the internet had yet to put all the pieces together, due to all of the songs you’d written about her. It baffled you how many people assumed they were about exes and not about the girl you were with. But Caitlin thought it was hilarious, especially when you dropped your album, and ‘So High School’ wasn’t immediately connected to her.
Being at this upcoming game for Cait was important to you. The media was ripping her apart and it broke your heart that you were unable to be there and support her. Especially as you were at such a high in your career, she deserved all the love and support from you, the same support she’d given you when you were at your lowest point.
So you booked a flight to Washington, DC with a promise to your management you wouldn’t blow out your vocal chords screaming at the game, and headed to the airport early the morning of the game.
—
Everything worked out perfectly, and now you were on your way to DC for the game. Caitlin had texted you that morning letting you know she’d landed at Dulles and was heading over for practice. You’d responded, wishing her good luck tonight and that you’d be watching the game from your New York apartment couch. She of course thought you were flying to New York this morning, and was not suspicious at all that your phone was off for three hours. You just prayed no one had caught wind of you leaving Boston and was waiting at the airport when you landed. The last thing you needed was paparazzi pictures hitting the internet when you were trying to surprise your girlfriend. She had your hashtag notifications on for every website, and it was impossible to get away with any form of surprise because of the media attention you got.
Thankfully when you touched down and made your way through the airport there were no reporters. You bumped into a couple of fans, taking pictures, but asking them to wait until the next day to post pictures of you in the airport.
You took an Uber to your hotel, a hat pulled low over your eyes trying to avoid anyone recognizing you. There were a few hours left until the game and you were settling into your hotel as Cait’s name flashed on your phone, with a Facetime request.
“Hey baby,” she said when you answered, her tired eyes meeting yours.
“Hey, love.” You smiled, taking in her appearance, her ponytail a little ruffled, and her warm-up shirt soaked with sweat. “Did you just get done with practice?”
She nods, wiping a hand across her face, “yeah, we’re about to head back to the hotels to get ready for the game before shoot-around.” She pauses, eyes wandering across your face through the screen. “What are you up to?”
“Writing.” You shrug coyly, smirking as her face lit up.
“About me?” You couldn’t help but laugh at her expression.
“No, I’m writing about some other six-foot brunette who plays basketball.” Caitlin pouts which makes your stomach clench. She looks so cute when she does that. “Don’t pout at me, baby.”
She rolls her eyes, smiling again. “You’re watching the game tonight right?”
You nod, shaking your head as she always double-checked. “Yup, I have my 22 jersey ready and a bottle of wine.”
“Good,” she grins, “every shot is for you, baby.”
—
The line to get into the stadium wrapped around the building, reminding you of the pictures you’d seen of Eras Tour queues. Sometimes you were immensely glad that you were able to cut the line.
You’d texted Caitlin’s parents, meeting up with them so you all could head over to the game together. The three of you were able to cut in line, going through the family entrance, and mingling with people before finding your seats.
Deciding to wear a hat to the game had become a good idea, shielding yourself from prying eyes and the eyes of your girlfriend, not wanting to distract her before the game. It always went better for her if she found you in the crowd naturally, almost as if your presence lit a fire in her.
And lit a fire it did. Only two minutes into the game Cait spotted you. Her eyes zeroed in on your shoes first, waiting to check the ball right before you. They traveled upwards, meeting your own, a smirk across your lips. Her jaw dropped, and she quickly recovered as you winked cheekily at her.
“What the fuck,” she mouthed at you.
“Surprise,” You mouthed back, grinning. Her parents laughed, sitting beside you.
It was as if a switch had flipped. She started shooting every three, making almost every single one of them. You were on your feet, cheering for her every time she made a bucket, just like you had in college.
Caitlin was on fire, and everyone noticed, trying to figure out what had caused this winning streak. The camera panned along courtside as the half approached, the media team obviously noticing Cait’s eyes on your section every time she landed another shot.
You, Brent, and Anne smiled and waved for the camera as it hovered in front of you. All three of you glanced up, seeing yourselves on the jumbotron, your name and “Caitlin Clark’s Parents” popping up under your faces. The camera stayed there for a while, the three of you trying to maintain smiles as if became slightly awkward, finally when they moved on your eyes found Cait’s and she rolled her own, exasperation showing through.
Both of you knew this would come with tons of speculation, but you weren’t upset over it. As long as the two of you were happy, nothing would come between you, even the nosey media.
��
As soon as the game was over you were ushered to the tunnel, following behind the players yelling in excitement over the win against DC. At an away game too. You smiled, watching Cait hug Katie Lou, and Erica. Her eyes began to travel around the room, looking for someone, looking for you. When your eyes connected, she ducked out from under her teammate's arms, sprinting towards you.
You collided, her arms catching you at the top of your thighs as you jumped into the air. She spun you around, a wide smile across her lips.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” The sound of her voice sent a wave of warmth throughout your body, having only heard it through the phone for the last month.
“I couldn’t wait any longer,” you whispered into her neck as she set you down. “I missed you so much, Caity.”
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, baby.” Caitlin pulls you even closer, as if trying to make sure you’re real, and actually in her arms. “Holy shit, I literally cannot believe I’m holding you right now.”
“Believe it, baby, I’m here for another day.”
Caitlin’s face lit up. “We have all night and all day together?”
You nod, eyes wandering across her face, taking in her features, trying to ignore the pang in your heart at the bags under her eyes. “I cleared it with Christie. I’m traveling with you guys to Indiana tomorrow and flying out the morning after.”
Caitlin lunged forward, connecting her lips to yours. You smiled against hers, hands finding their way to her hair. The whistles of her teammates in the background made the two of you pull apart, breathless. She pressed another kiss to your lips quickly before turning around to face her team and shooting them a look of irritation.
“Let's get out of here,” she laces her fingers with yours, tugging you in the opposite direction of the locker room.
“Wait but don’t you have to-”
“Nope.” The two of you weave your way through the mass of people, heads down, quickly making your way toward the exit. “If Christie knows you’re here, she’ll be fine missing me for post-game.”
“But the media?” She grins at you crookedly.
“I’m not on the schedule for once.” Caitlin leans forward quickly, pressing her lips on your temple. “Now come on, we have a lot of time to make up for and only one night to do it.”
#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader#indiana fever#wlw post#iowa wbb#happy pride 🌈#caitlin clark x y/n#y/n#caitlin#clark#22
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Hey! Asking for some writing advice here.
How does one write a villain exactly. In a very simple world with no superpowers and stuff how do you give them motivation. How do you make them slowly descent into villainy. Somehow when the villain actually thinks they're doing the right thing until the very end?
Thx love
There are a few different questions here that I'm going to try to to unpick.
I'll start with a brief overview of the connections between protagonist + antagonist, just because recognising them can be really useful in shaping your own ideas. Then I'll dive into motivation. So.
Antagonist + Protagonist = CONFLICT
If you know your protagonist well, then you have all the ingredients you need to write a great villain/antagonist for them too. Here is why.
Your villain/antagonist is, at the most basic fundamental starting point, something that is between your protagonist and what the protagonist wants/needs. As a very simple example, if your protagonist wants to make sure that everyone is free, then your antagonist is going to in some way be involved with making sure they are not free. Once you know what your antagonist needs to do in a story, then it's a lot easier to pose the question to yourself of 'okay, why would someone do that?'
Villains often reflect an opposite or warped view of the values and motivations that your protagonist has. They mirror or foil your main character. So, your antagonist's motivation will often be either opposite to the protagonist (e.g, your protagonist is motivated by selflessness, so your antagonist is motivated by selfishness in some way) or they will be the same motivation or value gone twisted (e.g. we both have people we love who we would do anything to protect...it's the villains way of acting on that motivation that makes them the villain, not the motivation.)
Of course, you can not have your antagonist + protagonist connected in this way. This is often the case if the source of conflict in your story is not another actual character or if you have a more generic villain. Lots of great stories have generic villains. It typically just means the villain is not a focus. It might be, like, about the friendships made in the journey instead.
Motivations:
I find it helpful to think of all my characters having two motivations.
The external story-specific motivation. This is whatever the antagonist is trying to achieve in your particular story and where things like genre and superpowers etc come into play.
The internal motivation that is more universal. The internal motivation is, while still specific to the character, the driving emotions and values. With a villain, that is often hatred or fear or lust for power because they're villains, but as noted earlier it can be a twisted form of love, or a strong sense of an injustice committed against them. This shapes the external motivation (e.g. 'lust for power = I want the throne, 'fear' = I'm going to kill or belittle or control what scares me so I don't have to feel scared anymore', justice might equal revenge or gaining power to ensure that a wrong is corrected. ) It could also be a bias or a prejudice that they're raised on driving them, that they genuinely believe in. Lots of possibilities!
I think this is true of people as well. We have our foundational core beliefs and desires (to be loved, to succeed, to be accepted whatever) and then we have the things we try to get in the real world to meet those needs (whether they really will or not).
Either way, it's the second one that comes into play with the slow descent into villainy and the villain thinking that they're doing the right thing until the end. Because, initially, their heart genuinely is not in a villainous place. They may actually be doing the right thing at the start. And then bad things happen. They are changed by the journey. They are a protagonist gone tragic.
We all experience emotions that can drive us to behave poorly; the desire for revenge or recognition, to ensure that the people we care about are safe, to get money so that we can provide for ourselves and others etc. None of us are without prejudice or privilege. Those things do not make you a villain, but they can be an excellent starting place for one.
Think about times when you've messed up. A villain is often an exaggerated version of that. You start pushing your own boundaries because there is something you really want/need and, depending on how far you push that...do you feel like you can still go back? Or do you feel like you might as well finish it after everything. At what point do you breathe for air, look up at what you've done, and go shit.
That's the villain who realises way too late that they're the villain.
Final note: I've been using antagonist and villain pretty interchangeably here...but they have slightly different connotations. Your antagonist does not have to be a villain to be effective. They just have to be an obstacle to the protagonist. E.g. if two people are going for the same dream job or trying to win a competition, the other competitors are antagonists to a certain extent, but that doesn't mean they're villainous or bad people. Whether you have an outright villain will depend on your story.
I hope this helps!
Some going further questions to take with you.
Is your villain trying to stop your protagonist from reaching their goal? Or is your protagonist trying to stop the antagonist from reaching their goal?
How does the villain's external goal in the story reflect the inner need? Note. They are aware of their external goal. Most people are not aware of the inner goal in the same way.
Do you know what you want your stories themes to be? (This doesn't have to be complicated and it's fine if you don't, that's what editing is for). Your protagonist and antagonist often weigh in on these themes. For example, your antagonist might be a path the protagonist could have gone down, if they made a different choice or something happened differently in their past.
#villains#antagonist#writing advice#writing tips#writing talk#writing villains#writing tip#writing help#character creation#character building
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Funny how SCOTUS “originalists” ignore this history
Benjamin Franklin is revered in history for his fixation on inventing practical ways to make everyday life easier. He was a prolific inventor and author, and spent his life tinkering and writing to share his knowledge with the masses.
One of the more surprising areas Franklin wanted to demystify for the average American? At-home abortions.
Molly Farrell is an associate professor of English at the Ohio State University and studies early American literature. She authored a recent Slate article that suggests Franklin’s role in facilitating at-home abortions all started with a popular British math textbook.
Titled The Instructor and written by George Fisher, which Farrell said was a pseudonym, the textbook was a catch-all manual that included plenty of useful information for the average person. It had the alphabet, basic arithmetic, recipes, and farriery (which is hoof care for horses). At the time, books were very expensive, and a general manual like this one was a practical choice for many families.
Franklin saw the value of this book, and decided to create an updated version for residents of the U.S, telling readers his goal was to make the text “more immediately useful to Americans.” This included updating city names, adding Colonial history, and other minor tweaks.
But as Farrell describes, the most significant change in the book was swapping out a section that included a medical textbook from London, with a Virginia medical handbook from 1734 called Every Man His Own Doctor: The Poor Planter’s Physician.
This medical handbook provided home remedies for a variety of ailments, allowing people to handle their more minor illnesses at home, like a fever or gout. One entry, however, was “for the suppression of the courses”, which Farrell discovered meant a missed menstrual period.
“The book starts to prescribe basically all of the best-known herbal abortifacients and contraceptives that were circulating at the time,” Farrell said. “It's just sort of a greatest hits of what 18th-century herbalists would have given a woman who wanted to end a pregnancy early.”
“It's very explicit, very detailed, also very accurate for the time in terms of what was known ... for how to end a pregnancy pretty early on.”
Including this information in a widely circulated guide for everyday life bears a significance to today’s heated debate over access to abortion and contraception in the United States. In particular, the leaked Supreme Court opinion that would overturn Roe v. Wade and states that “a right to abortion is not deeply rooted in the nation's histories and traditions.”
Farrell said the book was immensely popular, and she did not find any evidence of objections to the inclusion of the section.
“It didn't really bother anybody that a typical instructional manual could include material like this,”she said. “It just wasn't something to be remarked upon. It was just a part of everyday life.”
(continue reading) more ←
#politics#abortion#ben franklin#american history#scotus#textualists#originalists#roe v wade#mifepristone#abortifacients#reproductive rights#bodily autonomy#reproductive justice#healthcare#home abortions#for the suppression of the courses#every man his own doctor the poor planters physician#every man his own doctor
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Gale and Katniss are proof that you can grow up in the same circumstances and still learn to see the world in a different way.
Growing up in famine, abuse, violence, poverty and under control of a corrupt government gave them similar circumstances to grow up in: being the oldest sibling, their fathers dying in the mine, becoming the providers of the house at an early age, losing almost everything to said government. While Katniss developed a sense of empathy for everyone affected by this government (whether they were more privileged than her, or not), Gale developed a sense of hatred and thirst for vengeance because the people that weren’t his people had privileges that no one should have, while his family and his friends were being starved, or killed.
That’s why from an early age (pre-teen to full blown teenage years) he had always been thinking with the mindset of a hunter, only he wasn’t only hunting in the forest for prey and food, he was hunting in the real world and he was hunting his enemies, perpetrators and by-standers who did nothing to stop them, they all fit in the same category for him: the enemy. He grew up thinking of ways in which he could kill them if he could, that’s why earlier in the books he tells Katniss he would kill the Capitol citizens if he could, they were nothing to him.
When Gale sees the Capitol bomb and fire his district and kill his people, then gets evacuated to district 13 and has the opportunity to do something, to be of value and design strategies that can help kill said enemy, he does it. No second thought.
The thing is, both Katniss and Gale were right in certain aspects, especially in those they couldn’t agree on, and for me is easy to see from the perspective of both.
In war it should be common rule to offer the possibility of surrender first, but when your enemy doesn’t surrender and you see your own army lose more and more members, you attack - most of the time these are “last resort” attacks that end in lots of human life lost, but when you still give them a last chance to surrender like they did with the train in 2, it still shows a little glimpse of hope and empathy, that not everything has to be lost to war, and this is the part Gale didn’t understand, because if he paid too much thought to it, the lines would get blurred in his head, it was easier to see in black and white.
Personally, I’m in a grey zone when it comes to both of their thinking, and that’s why as a world with increasing and escalating issues we’ve created mechanisms like humanitarian law, war law, international human rights, etc, etc, we need to draw the lines, this is the playbook Katniss was referring to. What’s too much in war? A bullet to the head? Burying people in a mountain just for the sake of killing them? Where’s the line? Hijacking and manipulating people, stripping them of their consciousness and identity? Sending children into an arena to murder each other? Human trafficking? Sex trafficking? You see where I’m going? This is not about Gale, it’s about war.
Look at history, look around you. What do you see? What do you make of it? And please, use critical thinking. Is it acceptable to kill group B if they’ve killed people from group A? Do people from group B deserve a second chance, although their victims didn’t? Your opinion and reasoning depends a lot on the morals you have, and your own experience with war and abuse, which, if you’ve been lucky enough not to have a first hand experience with it, you should also take it into consideration before saying something. Just think, consider, see beyond yourself, see from different points of you, keep the definition of good and evil close to your hand and take note where they start to get blurry. What do you see?
#Im sorry#I just can’t stop thinking about this#the hunger games#gale hawthorne#katniss everdeen#president snow
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Bacon saying "yes. [I watched] the entire thing" about having seen Kab's new video "I watched it for entertainment purposes, but I also think I took some things from it as well"
KAB: "fair enough, I put things in there knowing people would watch it and take things from it"
she brings up how Clown never offered her a team, and that she is close to getting his full trust. Which I think is a lie rooted in the truth that she was so "my son could never hurt a fly he's just misunderstood" in the video to get Clown to trust her more irl/in lifesteal. Like how he trusts Branzy and Ferre.
(even though it is SO WEIRD for her to have been like that about Clown in the video. Like it was an exposé about how right the Mice were to be cautious about her affiliation and assume she was telling him things. She was. Maybe not base coords, but she just leaked that she absolutely told him things about them and that she was not for the team at all. And she left that all in. why? WHY Kab? I can only assume it was to endear her to Clown more? That's the only thing that makes sense? Unless she did it to "prove" to the Mice that they were wrong to assume she was teamed with Clown, "see I was just telling him to be careful and you guys were making him into a villain" or smth. I genuinely don't know. I don't understand her at all.)
But she's bringing it up to Bacon and downplaying it so that he thinks she isn't as close to Clown as she is. She's trying to manipulate him here I think.
then Bacon brings up the google doc of Mapicc's personality, which apparently Mapicc dmed her about (which is hilarious for the record)
To which she says it wasn't real [the doc itself], she made it for the video. She only articulated Mapicc's personality and Mapicc's alone.. which obviously means it was him very much on purpose. So did she do it to stoke Mapicc's ego? Or to see what he would say about it and confirm or deny if she was right? I can so easily imagine her writing it up being like, now Mapicc will think I understand him but this is not really what I think about him and he will be easier to manipulate.
But the analysis, like I wrote about, was right for the wrong reasons, AND YET I saw how they were rooted in very plausible assumptions she would have made bc of talking to Ash.
So I struggle to see how that writeup wasn't what she genuinely thought. This whole video just feels like exactly what she genuinely thought throughout the whole first week.
And it's completely rooted in the concept that she knows what she's talking about, even though her only evidence is that she can read Clown. (the only other moment being that she was right the empire would betray them in the End. Which was the softest of softball throws. It was an allyship against the other team. Obv the beef starts up the second that is over.) Like congrats. You've known Clown for two years very closely. It would be weird if you didn't. And on THAT note,
She called Woogie a dipshit for having his own opinions about Clown based on his interactions with him for the past FIVE whole seasons. THREE YEARS.
She took his words as saying that you shouldn't trust Clown instead of what he was really trying to say, which was we as a team should not trust Clown. Kab knows Clown won't kill her but she just fails to understand that other people have their own valid experiences of the members. She's just so focused on her singular view of people and how they will interact with her that she completely misses the opportunity to learn what other people think of other people without it being an attack on her own opinion.
I know I get on here and analyze everyone to death. I know that that's how I love to watch and enjoy lifesteal. And that not everyone observes the lifestealers like bugs to be pinned down and dissected. Watching vods is a listening-only experience. I cannot talk or add to the convo, right?
But it still boggles my mind that she doesn't see the manipulative value in silently listening to every word that comes out of someone's mouth in order to learn what they think about others. And let that tell you what to think about others.
If she just listened to what people said, especially what they say about people she doesn't understand, she would learn SO much.
Like she completely called Woogie an idiot for wanting to ally with the Empire for the purpose of killing Clown Mane and Flame.
And she said it because she doesn't understand how Mapicc and Spoke think.
And because she doesn't understand them, she thinks Woogie doesn't understand them.
Like I know Woogie isn't always the most active and integrated member, and he's also an unreliable narrator and has assumptions rooted in a subjective path just like she does.
But Woogie AND Mapicc AND Spoke have all been playing on this server since Season ONE. You would think that that would be an excellent learning opportunity to ask Woogie how he views Mapicc and Spoke.
And then from there, sure! Take it with a grain of salt. Take your personal experiences with them as the most important opinion to value for your own safety (bc nobody can tell you what your gut says) but then also take their opinion and use it against them if you want to be such a great manipulator. Or at the very least catalogue their opinion away for further study at a future time.
It's just. She just has her assumptions about herself towards every member and completely and totally discounts what anyone has to say about their assumptions of themselves with other members. And she gets so damn triggered by people saying they have more experience than her, thinking it's a personal attack on her intelligence. Where that comes from I cannot know but that sounds incredibly deeply rooted.
So back to the Bacon conversation.
She said she knew people would watch it and said stuff on purpose.
And yet she completely left in the whole scene about lying to Woogie about being sorry for discounting his opinion. “Sometimes you need to be sopping wet for people to trust you chat”
Everyone on lifesteal is going to watch this video. WOOGIE might watch this video (though I have a feeling he won't tbh) and you're just leaving in that when you apologize you are never sincere about it and are 100% using that to manipulate them later.
INSANE to leave that in. You leave that in the drawing board. You keep that shit hidden. ESPECIALLY if you know your enemies will watch it. Girl was the most open book ever.
And then to end the video saying I'm a liar and manipulator bitch I know what I'm talking about. Insane. You are just BROADCASTING that you should never be trusted ever. (for the second video in a row!)
Also in a video about you desperately trying to prove that you should be trusted. It's two different kinds of trust, funny that we use the same word for both.
Trusted in that you tell the truth vs trusted that you know what you're talking about.
I am so interested to know what Bacon thought of that. What will he think if she does apologize now? He's not dumb. He saw the video.
She just thinks she's playing 4D chess. And yet 4D chess would be being silent and listening to what everyone says. Like how Spokes does. and Clown. No talking, just silently listening in vc's and coming to conclusions about the members.
And Bacon too. He's been asking people so many questions about what they're doing and why and then just listening to what they have to say, and then forming his own conclusion about it and going off to try something. He's becoming great at listening and thinking and this whole little arc was founded on using that information to do something interesting on the server.
Though I suppose he wasn't always that good at it. And therefore the final conclusion you can take is the same every time: Kab needs experience in order to gain experience. And it will be a long and painful process.
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