#why cant i always be drunk
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im drunk-kinda tipsy rn and i just sent the bassist guy who has left me on delivered for over 10 hours a “just say you dont like me 💀” ahahahahah
#mine#man#i love being drunk#literally making this post in midst of changing clothes lying half naked ln the bed#why cant i always be drunk
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What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert
see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)
i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!
another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know
dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.
anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else
#killer's breakdancing and he swears this isnt on purpose guys#GUYS GUYS ITS NOT ME THE BODY IS DRUNK OKAY WHY CANT I STOP WHEN DID I LEARN HOW TO DO THIS#horror has SO much to be guilty over its not even funny. ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#nobody talks about this but this man is GUILTSTRIFEN. he is literally filled with so much guilt its not even funny#dust and killer have the genocides they did. ok. sure. that's it????#ugh god i dont wanna ramble in tags again..... im just gonna end up saying it in the analysis anyways but ughhhhhhhhhhh#yk what fine i'll rapid fire. trying to keep people from killing themselves. watching his friends die.#knowing that other monsters are getting eaten. worrying papyrus. coming up with a plan he knows wont work and tries make it happen#because that idea of them deconstrucing the core would NOT have worked so he did that out of selfishness#forcing his community to eat humans. tricking papyrus into eating humans. going against all his morals#dare i need say more i swear AND ALL OF THESE ARE SEPERATE THINGS TOO!!!!!!#he single handedly DOOMED horrortale into disarray by destroying the core#the eye idea wouldve worked. it wouldve been the only way monsterkind thrived#and yet he destroyed the core but kept his eye safe. as if one last big fuck you#you can have my eye but you cant have the machine that needs it. good luck bitches#THERE ALREADY WAS FOOD IN SNOWDIN BEFORE HE TOLD THEM TO EAT HUMANS#THERE COULD'VE BEEN ANOTHER WAY TO RATION THE FOOD OR FIND S FOOD SOURCE#BUT HE JUST TOLD TJEM TO EST HUMANS OUT OF SPITE SO UNDYNE WOULDN'T GET THE SOULS#granted it was a solution that worked for the hunger problem BUT HORROR FUCKING HATES IT#HE HATES THE IDEA OF EATING HUMANS HE HATES THE IDEA OF KILLING KIDS#BUT HE STILL DOES IT HE GOES AGAINST ALL HIS MORALS UGHHHHH#horror sans. horror sans my king horror sans my glorious lord and savior#i cannot WAIT to drop that character analysis. it will change lives. and by lives i mean me#i will be a changed man once the horror analysis comes out#anyways WHO IS THIS ANON AGAIN. its a question i always wonder because wtf#you have a daily question for me. this is like a log in event. if i answer all the questions in a row for a week i get a SPECIAL question#but fr thank you so much for your questions i love answering them its so fun to wrack my mind and figure out a way to answer it. brain teas#every time i see the words mtt expert i laugh lowly like an evil villain but i try not let it get to my head#humility is a standard i aim to uphold. one of my character traits. triglycercule character analysis when#tricule asks
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🎶 they tried to make me go to rehab and i said PLEASE PLEASE HOLY FUCK I FEEL SO BAD WILL NOBODY HELP ME I CANT STOP WHY DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS PLEASE HELP
#IM SUCH A LIGHTWEIGJT NOW AND I FEEL SO STUPID I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM FINE I CAN HANDLE IT WHAT'S ONE BEER YOU CAN DO IT YOU LIKE BEER#AND I HAVENT HAD WATER OR EATEN ALL DAY AND IM LIKE WHEEEE I KEPT MY TAB OPEN (DUMBASS) ORDER A SECONS#even a second is too much#i cant stop#like actually i dont know what to do bc i know even if i went to rehab WHICH I CANT AFFORD AND NONE OF MY FAMILY WILL HELP i just would#return to the same shit bc no matter how sober i get i cant stop bc that's how fucking addiction works#and im too scared to tell anyone i actually need help#the people who know i need help are just judging me and watching me fall into this fucking pit#i dont know what to do#im just gonna pass out drunk now#i hate feeling like this it's so fucking humiliating#i dont even like it#and im admitting defeat to WHAT? A LITTLE GLASS OF JUICE? YOURE KIDDING ME#prolific linguistics researcher and author cant stop.. why do we always treat academics like we're the pinnacle of society#im fucking awful man im a schizophrenic with an addiction problem#but im so much more than that! anyone who knows me knows that! but i cant stop#i want to stop#and im trying and then every few months I think ive tried enough and i expect it to go away but that's how the cravings trick you#fuck this man#drugs tw#sobriety update#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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i don't think people hcing charlie as transfem are trying to dismiss the transmasc charlie hc! i think it's more of a projection thing for a lot of people, since i know at least a few of the main people who enjoy the headcanon are transfem themselves!! i don't think you have much to worry about in terms of people dismissing the tmasc or other genderqueer charlie hc anyways, since it's already much more popular! i think you're perhaps being a bit too critical.
I've literally never said anything like this at all, I think you've either misinterpreted something else I've said or have the wrong blog.
All of my Charlie gender-based posts or reblogs I've stated/tagged that I think any interpretation of Charlie's gender can make sense, be it transmasculine, transfeminine, nonbinary, agender, whatever you want.
I am one of the ~3 blogs that has access to The Bathroom Problem script and who posted and pointed out that you can make out/slightly hear the Joyce cuts in the episode itself. I would not have excitedly shared that for open-interpretation if I was "worried" people are "dismissing" transmasc Charlie headcanons. (Which, again, I've literally never said, but in any case, I believe it's valid for anyone to dismiss a headcanon they don't agree with, fandom is a sandbox.)
What I personally don't care for are genderbends and, almost by extension, analysis/meta on canon scenes that rename/re-gender the characters with no basis (or, one that comes off wrong). Both topics I've literally never publicly spoken out against here, nor have I said anything bad/negative to everyone who personally enjoys these things, so there is no way for me to possibly be "too critical" in that regard. I keep most of my opinions to myself and my close mutuals, almost exactly for what you're saying: I personally don't want to harsh or dismiss anyone's headcanons.
I have never said, and have never meant to imply, that anyone interpreting Charlie as transfem is attempting to dismiss anyone else's headcanon (which again would be a non issue to me anyway).
#if youre coming here from a certain twitter post#which#mind you was a 3 deep reply to one specific mutual. aka not a public criticism#i believe you are incorrectly interpreting what my issue is#bc it is not about 'headcanon erasure'#and i did not post about it on this blog. never intended to. because im not trying to be critical or dismissive. im venting to mutuals#if youre saying i cant personally have an issue with something idk what to tell you lol. ok?#and if youre one of my mutuals who ive like#personally ranted to about these various things#idk that would be very random and kinda weird to come into my askbox on anon about this#my dms are always open to chat i like having critical and opposing conversations#anyway im not trying to win the charlie gender headcanon war i literally dgaf#i dont even talk about transmasc charlie much at all? so idk where that idea comes from#like im pretty seated in him being amab i just enjoy other peoples transmasc interpretations#im way too rooted in canon in actuality to care much about all this!#hence. why canon misinterpretation bugs me *personally*#ok im going to the back office to get drunk#ask
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me: hmm.. i dont think i really Count as physically disabled. im pretty able bodied.
my body: MIGRAINE MIGRAINE MIGRAINE MIGRAINE. FATIGUE. PAIN. MIGRAINE headache :) DIZZY. NEED AIR NOW. DIZZY DRUNK dont fall over idiot that hurts! ^_^ MIGRAINE oooh naratripan yummy TUMMY HURT CANT BREATHE GOOD
#wishy speaks#i always forget how disabling migraine disorder is until a big flare up#especially when my triggers r all so common and unavoidable#like. concentration. big emotions. SUNLIGHT#this is why i am hesitant to try anything new btw because any kind of big emotion especially frustrate or sensory overwhelm#Pain. So much pain#and even if it doesnt Hurt that bad i still get sick and dizzy and very tired#drunk is a common descriptor i use#but its more like. dizzy and stumbly and Short Of Breath#i has so many episodes where it just feels like i cant get enough air in#repetition
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that being said....self titled was just such a moment tho like when i say that was a formative album for me i mean that shit
#at the cusp of teenage girlhood lol 15/16 abt to graduate high school really kearning abt feminism/social justice for the first time#growing up in nigeria never really had to think abt that stuff cos no one around me cared much#i watched one of chim*manda's ted talks on feminism and it was like i activated like yesss finally a way to describe the injustice I'd been#seeing all around me. yes we had social studies/civic education in schools but who tf was teaching feminism in a patriarchal ass society#like nigeria. we didnt even have history as a subject lmao that country....God help us is the only thing i can say atp#anyway i need you to understand how hypeee teenage me was when i heard flawless like WOAHHH it was like beyoncé was inside my head...#then XO? WOW#grown woman???? i watched that video every morning and night it was my religion for a couple of months#BLUE? Oh i criedddd#7/11 made me look forward to getting drunk with my girlies lol#yoncé made me bi or at least realize i was#yeah I've always wanted to **** that lady thats why i cant even talk when she's dragged cos yall are so right to! but she's also sexy af 😔#it's almost 2am here pls dont take any shit i say/type seriously thankssss
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hey could you trigger tag guns?
short answer: no...
.../maybe/need more context
long answer:
I do not have confidence in my ability to consistently trigger tag things. I completely understand why people may want certain things tagged, but ultimately i am not a person who is going to be able to consistently remember to do so. I get a LOT of requests and unfortunately I can't fulfill them all. Most of the tags I use are due to digital hoarding compulsions as opposed to actively remembering to tag things. Additionally, I do reblog a lot of things that fall into that general category so if guns are an issue for you I think that following me is maybe not the best thing for your mental health(though ofc this is up to your discretion). Stay safe, take care of yourself, and keep advocating for yourself :)
Even longer answer:
I have a lot of followers and I really can't accommodate every single trigger tag request i get. If you are a mutual please feel free to message me and I will do my best to accomodate you (first and foremost, I would need much more information to know how to do so, eg, what counts as something that requires a tag, because "guns" is a category that I think a lot of things can fall into (on account of the fact that I'm autistic)) however if you are not a mutual/someone I have personally engaged with in the past, I would suggest you unfollow me as I (as mentioned) am really not capable of fulfilling every single tagging request I receive.
To be clear, this is not me saying "fuck you for wanting me to tag something", but rather "I do not have the capacity to fulfill every single request I get by people I don't know, especially without further specification, and I want everyone to be safe and comfortable".
non mutuals are also very welcome to dm for requests,
I will not share any info or be a bitch about you requesting a trigger tag lol just understand that I may not be able to fulfill it. but i would genuinely love to have a convo with you about it either way <3
I hope this helps :) please stay safe and make the best choice for your mental health. pls dont be afraid to contact me <3
#a lot of my mutuals are also irl friends which is why im going so hard on the “mutuals pls dm” thing#but again I have a lot of followers and get a lot of similar requests#but non irl mutuals and non mutuals are also welcome to dm !!! in fact please do !!!#even if I cant accomodate your request I would like to understand the nuances of what youre asking for(on account of the autism)#sorry for all the caveats and 'furthermores' im an autistsic history major :( idk how to function any other way#also tbh im really drunk rn (further context for the 'i cant fulfill every request' metality: maybe dont follow an alcoholic if...#...discussions of addiction make you uncomfortable !) etc etc. there is always wiggle room and nuance ofc#also apologies like i said im rly drunk rn so apologies if this isnt written perfectly. i wanted to get back to you sooner rather than late#ceci says stuff#ask#OADC#anonymous
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I think my most incredibly lukewarm Starkid take is that the Very Potter Musicals have aged like milk and I just don't really like them as a whole, HOWEVER-
I have and will be thinking about
"Now TWO people are mad at meeeeeeeeeeeee"
For the rest of my natural lifespan
#in general i think that even the weakest starkid shows are still littered with individual gems#and thats very much based on personal taste but even when i dont end up liking a show i still crack up so fucking hard at certain scenes#all the stuff with voldemort and quirrel is hysterical#“i cant read!” from Ani lives in my brain even though i dont particularly like Ani#theres always something great somewhere and thats part of why i like them overall#“today we will be talking about the moon and it's effects on certain professors”#“JOEY RICK-TER IS CUH-RYING IN HERE!!!!!”#and “Blaraghraglarhg. I'm better now I'm drunk” also#it's always the delivery it's just so perfect. i haven't even watched mamd only clips but Jamie Lynn Beatty is legendary at joke delivery#starkid
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Had 5 mixed drinks at family game night and started texting my girlfriend facts about hooded mergansers
#she was such a good sport despite all the incoherent texts i sent#i cant type anyway when im drunk its 100x worse#my aunt makes a mean she shed tho i swear to god those are so good too good really#i believe i was sitting on the kitchen floor at the time i sent the bird facts fjdhhfh#always end up sittin on the floor when im plastered i cannot understand why#yea i had not enough to eat yesterday howd you know
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i wish i could put into words the way i feel right now. i feel like i'm doing everything i can to do the right thing. the right thing for ME. but with every decision i make, i feel extreme guilt and second guess myself like crazy. like i dont KNOW what im doing idk if any of the decisions i am making are actually good for me. i am constantly in this state of isolation and loneliness, but when there's a chance for a potential romantic relationship i back away and ignore the possibilities of what could come from it. i don't want to be in love but i crave intimacy. i don't want to hook up and leave, but i want someone to hold me.
#like i met this guy at a bar#and he was friendly enough#i guess#and i was really drunk and had just enough confidence to flirt back and let him put his arm around me and buy me drinks#and i gave him my number then immediately regretted it#and now hes texting me and wants to hang out and i just dont want to#but everyone around me is like 'well why dont you just give him a chance'#my side said 'youre always saying you want to meet someone in person not on tinder so why dont you want to go out w him?'#and its like I DONT KNOW#i cant drive and i dont want to get picked up by him and be stuck w him#what if i want to leave??? i cant!!! its up to him to take me home#i want to date and i want to have more experience but i just dont know if i can do that right now#and i hate it because everyone around me seems to be so into dating and hooking up and being in love#why cant i just. be like them.#idk i feel bad but i cant text the guy from the bar back#i just don't want to ! but i feel guilty about it#i keep thinking#'what if hes the one for me?'#you know#what if im messing up something that could be potentially great for me#idk#my thoughts
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#what sucks is the moment someone is super nice to me 😭 i start to liking them a lot#why am i like this 😭#i get shown any kind of decency or any genuine kindness I start to really like like them#then end up ruining the whole mood by telling them I like them 😂#i suppose finding some more attractive cause they're super nice to me stems from my childhood trauma LMAO#gotta love being a neglected kid 😭😂 it doesnt help when they're extremely pretty too 😭😭#lmao#what's wrong with me have some sense 😂 I know that just cause a person is nice to me doesnt mean they like like me or they even like me 😭#but i still can't help but start liking them 😂 its also probably cause i finally feel like someone cares about me 😭 then it goes back to#childhood trauma 😂 dude i cant lie being neglected while still having both parents is some thing else#cause its like I had both but they were always at work and when they got home would be so mean to each other mainly my dad to my mother;#the only did they'd ask if i was hungry but by the time grandma came to live with us that stopped and so they would not really talk to me#like i was talking to my cousin Richard on the night of the party; he asked why i dont talk to my dads side of the family#and he's super drunk and starts belittle and make light of the situation before i even start the main reason. so i told him to stop talking#over me and let me finish and stop belittling and making light of the reasons why i stopped talking to them entirely#then he got butt hurt and ended up waking his wife who was sleeping in the living room to go home.#i swear i have issues that i have yet to address lol and going to therapy doesnt work cause it makes me super uncomfortable so i stop going#after the first visits#😮💨 i can be so overwhelming why am i like this just cause they're nice to me doesnt mean they actually like me or even like like me 😭#i need to be better at accepting people's kindness without falling attached or like liking them a lot LMAO.#personal
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animal death mention & suicide tw
My mother: the cat’s anxiety attacks are too much, I’m putting her down.
Me: oh sure, take away one of the few glimmers of joy I have left AND grant the CAT a “mercy killing” but not me?? fuck you
#personal#tw animal death#cat#tw suicidal#tw mercy death#like she just growls at her tail sometimes its not that deep#like its not great its a problem but.#shes fine around me. shed prob be fine around you if u werent always fuckin yelling at her#but its your cat so fuck me right#idk#maybe im just stupid#probably#thats always the case#i just dont see why *I* cant be put down then#like why does she get the easy out#ive caused WAY more problems and inconvenience than she has#whiskey speaks#Drunk thoughts
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💀 not NugBugs friend shooting his shot in my FB story replies 🫠 his profound message..? "Why are you so fucking hot" 🙃 also matched with weasels friend on tinder. Left him on read too. Fuck boy energy the lot of ya!
#anyway this was why i was so messy in my late teens/ early twenties#always someone waiting for their turn#and i was an impulsive brojen drunk girl#*broken#but now im a 35 yr old sober broken woman lol#ok minus the weed 🫠#anyway im no longer these mens lil toy#the ride they want a few turns of because they cant get off fast enough#i want depth and soulmate energy#im so so so fucking picky#far more than i deserve to be tbh haha#but through all this heartbreak i have gotten closer to knowing what i want and need#and what i absolutely wont stand for anymore#anyway im thinking replying lil messy since ik you through nugbug 🤠#i would use his name though haha but i like giving these boys silly nicknames/ codenames#diary#dating
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#last couple things lmao (im so bored and i want to feel like im talking to someone so im writing here)#1 why is one of my tag vent posts in the highlight thingy at the top of my tumblr page byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#2 re the smoking thing -- i also think im part of that demographic of people who can only act like a real sociable living human when theyre#slightly drunk and its very unfortunate because (a) i cant always be slightly drunk (b) i dont think i want to always be slightly drunk and#(c) im on ssris so i shouldnt always be slightly drunk#unfortunately this IS something that runs in my family im almost certain *cries cutely*#idk it just sucks to feel ok -- like not even like WOOOOO PARTY but just like casual and at ease -- only when youre a lil intoxicated#like i think about these things and im v relieved ive never become addicted to drugs or alcohol. but then i look back over the last 10 years#(12 years now!!!!!!!) and there isnt a single one of them that i didnt spend fucking myself up somehow or other it just wasnt thru drugs#not even by choice either im sure if i were a little more socially adept and knew where the drugs were to be found when i was 15-16 i would#be so fucked rn#all this is to say#bro is cursed with an addictive personality (bro is me)
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most days I don't care that I'm like. ugly. but the last few days I've been wallowing in agony about it
#i think my body looks good but i do hate my face a lot.#and idk why but nothing makes me feel uglier and more shameful than being flirted with.#cute girl at the grocery store was flirting with me at checkout and i came home and fucking cried.#it always feels like consolation or pity. like i cant come to grips that someone would think im attractive enough to show real interest#idk how to describe it other than just shame shame shame. i am ashamed to exist and look this way.#but like. it's my face. im stuck with it. oh well i guess.#at least i can hide it with a mask lol#anyway thank god for yoga to calm my unwell mind.#also ive been feeling so bad i might start drinking again. teehee.#ive been having dreams about being drunk and i wake up disappointed with myself til i realize it wasnt real#lots to unpack there.#ANYWAY. im miserable.
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FUCK
#UGH.#why do i always go for people who don't like me#in related news the guy i like is NO LONGER TALKING TO ME because he thinks im a FUCKING DELINQUENT#because FUCKING JON told him i got wasted and vaped and kissed 2 girls at a party#which yea. i did get pretty drunk#and yea i did vape but ONLY ONE PUFF and ONLY CAUSE I WAS DRUNK#and yea i did kiss those girls but ONLY BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK#and hes SUCH A FUCKING NERD UGH I CANT BELIEVE I LIKE HIM THIS MUCH#this just sucks he thinks im like a fucking burnout now :((((((#like bitch! don't know how to tell him i'm still the smartest motherfucker he knows even if i get a little messy sometimes#god he's such a loser i cant believe im into him#ugh hes not even that hot hes just such a sweetheart ugh i want to date him so fucking bad this is not okay#im NOT like that most of the time and he KNOWS THAT#ughhhhh
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