#like i met this guy at a bar
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i wish i could put into words the way i feel right now. i feel like i'm doing everything i can to do the right thing. the right thing for ME. but with every decision i make, i feel extreme guilt and second guess myself like crazy. like i dont KNOW what im doing idk if any of the decisions i am making are actually good for me. i am constantly in this state of isolation and loneliness, but when there's a chance for a potential romantic relationship i back away and ignore the possibilities of what could come from it. i don't want to be in love but i crave intimacy. i don't want to hook up and leave, but i want someone to hold me.
#like i met this guy at a bar#and he was friendly enough#i guess#and i was really drunk and had just enough confidence to flirt back and let him put his arm around me and buy me drinks#and i gave him my number then immediately regretted it#and now hes texting me and wants to hang out and i just dont want to#but everyone around me is like 'well why dont you just give him a chance'#my side said 'youre always saying you want to meet someone in person not on tinder so why dont you want to go out w him?'#and its like I DONT KNOW#i cant drive and i dont want to get picked up by him and be stuck w him#what if i want to leave??? i cant!!! its up to him to take me home#i want to date and i want to have more experience but i just dont know if i can do that right now#and i hate it because everyone around me seems to be so into dating and hooking up and being in love#why cant i just. be like them.#idk i feel bad but i cant text the guy from the bar back#i just don't want to ! but i feel guilty about it#i keep thinking#'what if hes the one for me?'#you know#what if im messing up something that could be potentially great for me#idk#my thoughts
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"You felt freer to hold her hand in Paris, I wonder why that is" is something that I think about very often and dare I say, to me, it's the biggest proof that DM did happen in the past (The way Louis said it, the fact that it needed to be said at all, Daniel seeing Armand, Armand's reaction, Paris being more queer-friendly on the show... Which could mean nothing)
#devil's minion#armandiel#armandaniel#like I dont think Louis knows it's armand#but I think he knows that Daniel has mixed up some memories#and if Louis does know that Daniel had a relationship with a guy makes it so much funnier#*it meaning Louis telling Daniel that they met at a gay bar and Daniel saying he was there to score (which is hilarious on its own)#and I definitely don't think it's because Daniel was afraid Armand was stalking him (couldn't disagree more with this one)#myarmandiel
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brain will not let me sleep until I say
same age padawans au where they’ve been in a weird wired frenemies thing for ages but now that they’re both mature adults (all of 24/25 years old) they’re more friends than enemies….
And it’s Obi-Wan that Anakin tells when he’s decided he’s going to leave the Order, not anyone else. He has a wife. There was a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and it made her want their relationship to stop being a secret so they could really have kids. He has to leave the Order. Doesn’t Obi-Wan understand?
Obi-Wan, who has been a little in love with Anakin since they were younglings, does not understand. Not one bit. Instead of wishing him well and helping him pack, he goes to the Council and requests a mission in the Outer Rim….perhaps a month long or more…perhaps undercover? No contact with anyone on Coruscant. And maybe they could assign Anakin Skywalker as his back up? He can help with the undercover aspect.
And at first, Anakin is pissed because he was planning to resign from the Order in the next few days, but Obi-Wan convinces him to go on this mission with him….one last mission as a Jedi. To say goodbye to the Jedi life.
Obviously, Obi-Wan sort of wants to go on one last mission with Anakin because in his dreams, he wants the mission to go so perfectly that Anakin stays with him the Order. But realistically, he mostly wants to go on this mission to say goodbye to Anakin and then let him go, soaking up all his warmth and light, memorizing every casual touch bestowed on him because he knows they’re ticking down to the last handful of seconds together.
But then obviously the mission works TOO well and Anakin falls in love with Obi-Wan but doesn’t admit to it even to himself before they’re on the ship about to head back to Coruscant and Anakin realizes he doesn’t want to leave this planet because he doesn’t want to leave Obi-Wan if it could always be like this so he crashes the ship during take off so they can stay longer because he’s 24 and doesn’t know how to handle the immensity of his love except through destruction
#Kit’s silly lil AUs#obikin#I couldn’t finish the Democratic fic part today writing was so hard :(#I offer this instead <3#hopefully will get it up tomorrow#but anyway: no physical cheating but probably emotional infidelity as anakin falls in love with obi-wan but doesn’t notice#and a lot of pining but being brave about it obi-wan which could also turn into finding his rebound in the outer rim obiwan#which would then turn into seethingly jealous anakin#+ bonus points is that their cover is theyre newly weds#and obi-wan is like <3 you can touch me mister we have an open marriage <3#and this poor guy at the bar is being stared down by a vicious anakin and he’s like uh does your husband knkw that ????#but yeah here for pretty newly knighted obi-wan creating a situation where he gets to feel anakin touch him and kiss him on the cheek#and hold his hand and call him pet names#all the while being convinced that this is all he will ever get so he has to be satisfied with this#that the yearning will stop and he will find comfort in the memory of anakin’s arm around his shoulders once he’s left the order and obiwan#to be with his wife#also obi-wan gets wasted one night and someone asks how they met or when they fell in love#and obi-wan accidentally tells the drunken truth#not the cover story#and it makes anakin go 👀🧐#but then he gets too drunk and forgets it
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'Where are the he/him lesbians in media' does greg universe mean nothing to you
#JOKE JOKE THIS IS A JOKE#unless...?#inspired by this current fiasco (my last reblog)#steven universe#greg universe#but fr that guy had some sort of gender crisis at SOME point i guarantee it#theres just something about his vibe#yknow??#hes like a sweet old man that youd find in a bar. Looking kind of lost..#newly divorced you wonder? Maybe finally getting the chance to experiment.. couldnt hurt to lend an ear#and then you talk to him one minute and learn that NO this man(?) has been to So many gay bars#and has met queer people you wouldnt even /imagine/#literally!! because then these 3 bright colored hipster ladies come out and greet him like an old friend and youre like 'oh...'#and then you learn his dead wife was apparently an ex alien princess or something. You dont even know#you would be far less pressed to believe it if the purple one didnt just swallow a martini glass whole#''yknow being a man isnt all that it's cracked up to be kid''#''sometimes you gotta follow your heart.. like me!!''#''and i know i look like any run of the mill boring old man but you know what they say.''#''theres a bit of magic in all of us ey? you just gotta invite it in :)''#and then him and pearl make out sloppy styledhgdhdhGSGHDGDHHDG sorry
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- IM A MAGIC MAN -
Betty and magic man art!!!! Cuz!!!! Look me in the eyes and fuckin TELL me these two were not a fucked up / death spiral / make each other worse duo… you CANNOT!!! THEY ARE THE SAME!!! THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!! IN A WAY NO ONE ELSE POSSIBLY COULD… and! I just rlly wanted to draw them ghghg- cuz! I think there whole thing is interesting! Complicated as hell! Yes! But also interesting! Also made an extra meme thing w em too:
#adventure time#betty grof#magic man#normal man#king man#at magic man#adventure time magic man#doodles#THIS GUYS FUCKING NAME… bane of my existence…#I wanna like. scour the internet for any old fan content of him but it’s SO DIFFICULT… cuz of his stupid fucking name!!!#but uh. yeah anyway… THESE TWO ARE SO INTERESTING TO ME IM SORRY#cinematic parallels… they are dealing w the same fucking shit.#they can see themselves in each other… but they hate themselves…#it paradoxically makes them both viscous w each other yet also having this solidarity and understanding!!!#and I love that!!!!!#i wanna kno wtf they were doing together when they weren’t on screen!!!! how did they meet!!! what got them to first work together!!!#it’s so interesting!!!! I kno I keep repeating that but it’s cuz it’s true ghfh-#ignore the lil bar at the bottom of the meme image it’s from my phone ghg#I guess they probably first met and stuff cuz of Betty’s research into wizards and stuff actually.. that mystery has been solved ghgh#but STILL… I wanna… I want more of them interacting they like scratch an itch in my brain idek how to describe it ghg#also if… any of the words or tags in this post make no sense… it’s cuz I wrote all this after drawing for like 8 hours straight..#also I refused to turn my music off while trying to write which. didn’t help ghgh-#I stand by the fact that these two have an extremely interesting dynamic that I want to see more ppl talk about tho!#I just. feel there’s a chance I probably didn’t articulate my thoughts on it well on account of my brain being mush ghghg#also n regards to the ‘make each other worse’ thing. I actually think after U Forgot Ur Floaties magic man is actually trying to help Betty#he just fucking sucks at it gHG- but he is trying!#I kinda think betty is trying to be nice to him too honestly… like even tho bringing up trying to save margles is actually SUPER fucked up#I think it IS betty trying to be nice to him.. like ‘ur my friend! I’m gonna save my guy. we can fuckin save ur guy too…’ like!!!#these 2 are both trying to be helpful in there own ways but they both are fucking dog shit at it ghgh-
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Part 85 - College AU
Read the first 6 chapters here Don't want to wait for the regular Tumblr uploads? You can buy this entire final chapter here for $5! Thanks for the support!
Previous - TBC
@deardiary17 @mizzingyou @i-belong-in-a-retirement-home @kittenwhodidntwanttogiveup @septic-dr-schneep @queenlovett @theoncomingdoo-dah @thethickofitt @jicklet @ginshoujo @samsrosary @confusedwhovian23 @icouldntthinkofanythingclever @the-wolf-among-the-roses If anyone else wants to be tagged let me know
#nine x rose#college au#ninth doctor#rose tyler#ninerose#doctor x rose#timepetals#I love a fun drunk#too many guys are just the worst when they drink but I met my husband at a bar and it was the fact that he was FUN that made me give my num#and like we continued to have so much fun going out together#we had the same golden retriever energy#thats how I knew he was the one honestly LOL#and he was really good with kids of course so like... I guess that was also part of it.... hahaha#rambling again in the tags
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berliner remus thoughts 🤲🤲🤲🤲
yes yes that man is sitting by an open window in freezing weather eating a single hard boiled egg and flavorless pasta salad, and he can unwittingly come across as quite unsentimental or rude or blunt, and his jokes are awful and overly literal (“a werewolf? he’s sitting in my chair!!11!1”) so remus is a damp paper towel, i agree. but these same things also make him a really stereotypical berliner schnauze
in terms of modern au it's just a funny detail that makes a lot of sense (remus is in a knit turtleneck but still stomping his way through Friedrichshain in crustie doc martens), but its more interesting to me in my personal view of canon?? like this is the 70s. it's before the fall of the iron curtain, remus is growing up in a postwar city halved by the Wall, isolated from the world by the cold war, and filled with spies and punk music and poverty
in my headcanon, remus was separated from his (bavarian) family by the wall and grows up alone as a muggle in kreuzberg, west berlin. i like the idea of remus as a penniless lycanthropic preteen at the very height of Deutschpunk, cynical but still young, going to all the shows covered in scars just looking for a place to sleep. he grows up collecting gutter cigarettes and not eating enough and sharing a filthy flat with a rotating cast of sometimes-benevolent older teens with drug problems. he sees things pragmatically and he sleeps too much and spends his full moons in the abandoned train tunnels under Potsdamer Platz and he shaves his head to fit in and he loiters, eating peanuts off the bar at all the music clubs down Oranienstraße, thinking his life is dull and lonely and monotonous and grey and wishing it could maybe be something more. and then, of course, he gets his Hogwarts letter
#remus lupin#also I think this is funny in context of Sirius's bowie obsession. doesnt even faze remus as something noteworthy#hes like Yeah that bowie guy played at Hansa last year I met him 😐 do you listen to weltaufstandsplan 😐#I just think remus is so neutral to and unfazed by all music because the most iconic punk shows of the last decade were like#the noisy backdrop to his growing pains. once again hes sitting by the bar sighing & moping (he has safety pins in his jeans)#meanwhile sirius is fucking AGHAST. OBSESSING#a#german remus#saints speaks 🐇
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Who gave Sondheim the right to write a song as bittersweetly perfect as Sorry-Grateful?
#company#company musical#stephen sondheim#please please let me have the chance to work on that show someday#even if only so I can sit and hear that song from backstage#it’s one of my favorite musicals but if I’m choosing to listen to it it means I’m very confused or stressed in my (lack of) romantic life#in this case I’ve gone on two dates with a really really great guy but am unsure how to move forward#and it’s like deciding to date him opened my eyes to other possibilities and I’m like Hope what is happening#including a new guy who I’ve only JUST met like barely 2 weeks ago but in a few ways he’s like perfect on paper#including the fact he works in the same field as my dad and has actually emailed him in the past#and at the bar we and a bunch of other people were at he took the time to rave about my dad to everyone at our table#and explain how much he admires him from the few email interactions and his general knowledge of what my dad does#and I’m like ok ok major green flags#and yesterday was a hard day for him and I was witnessing it throughout our performance#and I was just finding myself feeling really really concerned and wanting to make him better#and now I’m listening to company and I’m like Hope. what. is. happening.
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I love random drama from people I barely know like oh my god really??? How dare they treat you like that..... btw what's your name again
#in this case i know his name because we're facebook friends but i didn't recognize him at the christmas market last year lmao#some people you do associate with certain places and they look different at daytime shfjdh#anyway he started dating a woman and got engaged literally two weeks later and now she betrayed him and they broke up#turns out she's been MARRIED since june 2023. six months before he and the guy i know started dating#back then she had 'separated' in her bio and now she has the married to xy thingy like girl wtf#he's been heartbreak posting all day and i mean. i saw it coming because they met and got engaged so soon and were extremely lovey dovey#also i loved listening to customers' gossip at the bar omg they had so much to say and it was so fun to vent with them#mel talks
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I’ve dreamt of the same person 4 nights this week
#it’s someone I’ve never met but I could describe him in detail#every time I wake up from the dream it feels like a thread wearing thin until it snaps#like we’re connected somehow#I think I might be in love with this dream guy#he wears pinkish red glasses#hes a teacher at a college- but he’s a (very good) physicist#he’s married (✋🏽😔)#his dad died recently and left him his boat. he hasn’t had time to work on it recently but he really loves it#the first dream we met if I recall correctly since it was almost a week ago#I believe I sat in on his class accidentally while I was looking for my actual class and then stayed because I was mesmerized by him talking#then he pointed out that I wasn’t in his class and we talked as he walked me across campus to my class#later that night we ran into each other at a local bar and ended up hanging out all night (bar hopping but it felt like a date almost)#the second dream I saw him in was mostly watching him from afar on the campus#at the end of that one I heard that he got recognized for something he did in physics#and this one was#well. very romantic#like unintentionally#waking up was actually agony today#put me back in coach#this one I was out with coworkers at said bar again#working on some sort of project I think and then dream guy walks in#I think he ended up accosting one of my friends over a spilled drink or something but in a nice way#so I used it as an excuse to -diffuse the situation- to go talk to him#so he ends up sitting with us at our table and chatting and he tells me about his physics thing#and he had such a sweet look in his eyes when I told him I was proud of him and how smart he was#somehow I ended up curled up in his lap snuggled up against him while we were all talking#because for some reason we’re very comfortable with each other#the dream ended with us looking into each others eyes after I said something about his dad and the boat#the (are we about to kiss right now??) look in his eyes jolted me awake since I was like. but he’s married!!! I’m not evil!!#but maybe I am now I guess
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Genuinely no joke a big problem I have with dating is that I'm always mentally asking myself if going out with a person I met on a dating app or whatever is more enjoyable than just staying home and posting about yaoi and the answer is usually no 😭
#i am the most pathetic person alive#like i just went out for lunch with a guy i met on hinge and it's like#it was fine but only because men are so uniformly shitty that the bar is criminally low#like ''oh we had a nice conversation and he didn't horrifically objectify me and is only slightly misogynist? guess i should put out rn''
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SORRYYYY
but yeah idk just laying there staring at each other in the shifting light while another green world was playing... in that moment i loved him for sure. a real I Love You i save up for a loooong time and i wait until ive seen all the low points and really KNOW a person, but i really loved that moment. crazyyyy
#also just the 1 million little synchronicities that led up to this#he was telling me how the night we met he had actually made a resolution to put himself back out there#and all of his friends were busy except the one that i knew#and then i taught him to juggle and he got the hang of partner juggling right away and everyone at the bar was like wowwww#you guys were so in sync thats incredible#and then me and his roommate being extremely similar people#and all the other stuff.....
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the first verse of get him back! is so addictive i am saying it to myself just all the time
#i met a guy in the summer and i left him in the spring. he argued with me about everything. he had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye.#he said he's six foot two and im like dude nice try.#but he was so much fun! and he had such weird friends! and he would take us out to parties and the night would never ened#another song another club another bar another dance#and when he said something wrong? he'd just fly me to france!#so i miss him some night when i'm feeling depressed til i remember every time he made a pass on my friend#do i love him? do i hate him? i guess it's up and down#if i had to choose i would say it right. now.#shut up tortle
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Dislike how characters will literally be queer in canon but people will act like its fanon because the authur/creator hasnt confirmed it or it wasnt said explicitly (despite being explicitly shown)
#Fitz being bi 🤝 luffy being aroace: being treated as fanon despite literally being that on page/screen#(fitz literally said one time that he sometimes gets a feelling of an ''instant connection'' of a ''deep friendship that could have been''#with some men. which like. come on. he is literally describing having emotions for them)#(when he first saw laudwine he thought ''this man is very handsom. had we met in a different situation like a bar or something i would have#wanted him to be my friend''. my guy.)#and I just searched “aroace luffy'' to see some fun content and so many people are acting like its fanon. because it was never stated by the#creator or characters. despite 👏 explicitly 👏 being 👏 shown 👏#siiiiiiiighhhh
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y'all.
how stupid would it be for me to uhaul with this girl i met last month. just had a giant ass wrench thrown in my housing plans so i'm on my own for that now but the possibility has crossed my mind
#clearly very stupid#don't mind me i just want to put the thought out#i have also met her a grand total of 2 times where one time we spent more time sucking each other's faces off and dancing than talking#bc it was at a bar. this was just a thought don't worry i'm not actually entertaining it....but what if?#lesbian relationship speed run x 100#OH OH AND SHE JUST BROKE UP W HER EX#she told me that after we made out. that they broke up two days before#but also she practices non-monogamy so she still has a girlfriend. it was the primary she had a breakup with.#idk i need to see where her head is at. all i know is she is looking for housing too. but seeing the budget she set and knowing#how much this city charges....it wasn't adding up#yknow i never want to live with romantic partners just because i need my space but at this point i lowkey kind of like the idea 🤷🏾♀️#dw guys i'm not seriously considering this hahaha#god#mew#cat chat
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it's still sooo funny to me how the party is fighting for their lives in the astral prism and shadowheart is just having her magical girl transformation somewhere out there. lynn jaheira wyll and gale having a few breakdowns while shadowheart is dying her hair for emo reasons. astarion probably helping her
#playing bg3#lynn is half illithid now guys yeahhh 👍#i wanted to try this path but my tool bar is literally dead. so many actions and spells and stuff#and illithid powers etc#but it will be fun. lynn is literally doing Such a bad job at trying to be a hero my poor babygirl...#so many things wrong with them... yet they keep trying to be good#this is why the wyllmance works#although the 'well met' greeting is absolutely killing me. can you guys hurry up w the patch for this particular reason pls#also due to meta reasons i gave up on the necromancer multiclass yesterday. it became unmanageable for my ass#my tool bar is already dead pleaseeee#i will always have the thay book that's what matters... im sorry wwx#also really not at all struggling w tactician lately so. not going crazy w the multiclassing for now#didnt even do the gloom stalker rogue thing this time (although it's been some time i have him in my party 😔😔😔)#(which is absolutely unbelievable but ive playing so scarcely and slowly lmfao#i had a moment in mind where i would switch my party but i still couldnt make it to that point ;;;;;#bc im progressing saurrrrr slowly :< i miss him dearly i watch his videos every day#which is embarrassing but it's the truth. can't live w/o that bitch at this point in my life)#also realizing if i wanna squeeze 1 more playthrough this summer i gotta hurry the fuck up#and stop playing this scarcely/slowly lol#but also realizing it's so Hard for me to play fast like i physically have to loot everything and read everything and do everything. ugh#anyway. we will see
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