#why can’t I get normalcy? i crave it so bad…..

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[charmercharm3r]

Make Love, Not Porn

Play Time!

HHJ

Masterlist, Series Masterlist

18+ content — minors, do not interact.

wc: 3.8k

Synopsis: You crave a life of normalcy, he craves you. And he'd do anything to keep you, even if you're for the world to see.

warnings: barista!hyunjin x cam girl!reader, smut, explicit sexual content, masturbation (m, f), he's a little obsessed, easing into the smuttier smut if that's even a thing.

Live : Play Time!

Next Scheduled Broadcast : Heat Signature

☆ﾟ

Rule number one; everybody is temporary.

There is no love in this industry, no trust, no friends, only coworkers that all want the same thing. Sometimes you work with them more than once, other times– most times, it’s a one-and-done deal.

They never want to stay anyways, you learned that lesson the hard way. It’s why you set up such a tough wall to break through, there’s no point in befriending anyone on your side of the pond.

It’s scary, really, how quickly you can be moaning someone’s name, kissing them like you need them to breathe, touching and feeling them as intimately as someone who truly was in love. Then as soon as the livestream ends, you can’t remember what their lips feel like and everything smells like latex and sweat. You offer them some water, snacks, a shower. They usually decline. Minutes later, your front door is shutting and you’re alone once again.

No one ever intends on getting into porn, you don’t even remember the details on how you ended up here. Your follower count had risen overnight and before you knew it, that one video had gotten you more money in a week than a month’s worth of minimum wage ever did. The humiliation was nonexistent considering you hadn’t even posted yourself naked that first time, if anything you were excited to post again. Who knew a video of you just sitting in a chair, playing with yourself under your skirt with your knees pressed closed would take off so rapidly. That thirty second video changed your life.

– fuck, who is this?? are they new??

– thats so hot. face reveal?

– show us your tits

– god i wanna fuck u so bad

– suck my dick pls

Those comments didn’t bother you, it was a little flattering if you were being honest with yourself. People wanted you, they don’t even know your real name, have never seen your face or what you look like in the sunlight. They don’t know you and yet, you’re everything to them, so much so that they pay you for your time, and body. They fill your wallet just for you to read their comment out loud, attention whores for you. And you love it. For some reason, their praise is much more fulfilling than anyone you've guested on your livestreams.

Recently, though, you’ve stopped bringing people on, not much to your viewer’s disapproval. There was more interaction and less vulgarity, like they wanted you to actually speak to them rather than just stuff your pussy with whatever new dildo you’d been gifted in your PO box.

You hadn’t planned on having such a personal stream today, you honestly just wanted the relief and thought your viewers would have a good time. But for some reason, the comments were less about getting you to take your clothes off and more about why your voice was shaking.

“It’s okay, I’m okay. Really!” Even you could hear the subtle octave change. “If you wanted me to cry, you could’ve just said please. You know I’ll do anything for you.” 

Perhaps the forced sultriness of your voice worked its charm, the comments quickly switched back to their normal obscenities once you started to unbutton your top. Truthfully, you preferred when they asked you to get naked, it was a lot easier to do than to admit what it was you were really lacking. Honest companionship is the rarest thing.

Rule number two: no identifying features.

Even if you weren’t ashamed, your job is still taboo. No one and everyone knew what it was you did. Your best friend helped you pick lingerie and background mood lighting, your parents thought you were an office worker. Strangers have seen your most private parts, you only allow your grandma to give you a kiss on the cheek during Christmas. Safe to say your occupation was strictly need-to-know.

You’re glad you started live streaming before deciding to get any tattoos, running the risk of someone stopping you in the middle of the street was the most terrifying thing you could imagine happening. Naturally, you avoided getting anything at all once your streams started to really take off.

There was nothing you wore to accessorize unless a patron paid for it in advance, that was always done a week before streams and the contact with the patron was never more than a simple google form and an email from your business account to confirm. Other than that, you were a blank canvas, just a body with a voice that left more to the imagination than you would think. If your viewers were happy, you were happy.

“What do you think of my new nail color? A special someone picked it out for me,” you held out your hands to display the pretty shine, twiddling your fingers. The comments went crazy, “no, no, not anyone like that, c’mon! You know you’re my number one. But I think you should all give lovely user callingherdaddy a thank you for picking it out. Thank you, sir.”

You took the polish off the next morning.

Rule number three: be consistent.

Nothing kills a steady income more than ghosting the ones that put the money in your pocket. You stuck to a strict schedule of three streams every week and frequent posts on your socials. The stuff you posted on your social media wasn’t even related to your work on camming, but it doesn’t hurt when they leave a couple nice comments. 

With a schedule and job like yours, you need a little bit of normalcy. Self employed, you don’t have a real routine when you aren’t streaming. It was starting to make you feel lazy, a bit lethargic, and overall unmotivated.

It wasn’t until recently did you decide to start doing normal people things, like waking up at 7 a.m., doing a mini work out, grocery shopping in the morning, even getting yourself a coffee from the shop near your house as a treat. Doing this was nice, you felt good, your head was clearer. Hell, you even got excited when it came time to do your cams because you felt so full of energy.

You had only been to the coffee shop once or twice before, but to get yourself to keep the routine, you told yourself you’d go every day for the next two weeks. Afterall, it only takes 21 days to form a habit.

It was packed, as usual for a morning weekday. There were only about six baristas working, all scurrying about the bar to get through the morning rush. You liked watching them, mindlessly completing drinks in such a way that made you a little jealous. Most of them seemed your age, obviously you knew that they couldn’t have all had perfect lives, but at least this part of their day was something they could openly complain about.

Were you really jealous? Of normal people? You had to be insane.

Shaking your head, you walked further into the shop and waited in line. You thought nothing of it, placing your order, “iced chai with three blonde shots, please,” and handed the barista the card, “thank you.”

You barely looked up at him, only when he held onto your card a little longer as you tried to take it back did you make eye contact. A little awkward, the barista was staring at you with wide eyes. He was handsome, too handsome to be working behind the counter. Long black hair framed his face nicely, pretty plump lips, and an endearing little mole under his eye that made his siren stare only slightly less intimidating. Yeah, handsome.

He didn’t look away even after he let you take your card back.

“S– sorry. You look like–”

“It’s okay. Thanks again.” You hurried away as fast as you could. He couldn’t have known who you were, right? Not a chance, you have never shown your face. You were wearing too many clothes for any particular body part to be recognizable. It’s just a coincidence.

Either way, the minor interaction with the barista scared you into hiding again, forgetting going out for anything else you had planned and deciding to hole away at home.

You had a livestream to do later anyways, focus on that. There were a few hours left for you to kill before turning on the camera, now would be as good a time as any to set up.

It wasn’t much that you did, mostly just thinking of what it was you thought viewers would like to see for the day. An hour before the scheduled stream, you set up a waiting room on the website that hinted at what the day’s theme would be. Today you thought you’d go a little easy on the eyes; “live soon, hardcandysweetheart: play time! <3”

A typical stream would start off soft, greeting viewers like any other meeting. You’d ask how their day was, if there was anything in particular they wanted to do or talk about, some answered genuinely while others urged you to strip. You liked the ones that asked you how your day was, too, and enjoyed sharing your thoughts with them. Though, it was no secret what everyone was here for, even if sometimes– just sometimes, you liked what came before taking off your clothes more than anything.

“I have a few things in mind for play time today, I’d like to hear what you guys think. Would you prefer this,” in your hand, you held up your favorite vibrator, big and baby pink. “Or this?” in the other, a new grinder that resembled the shape of a tentacle with the sucker-side up.

Comment section didn’t slow down as soon as you showed the second toy. “I thought you might like this one. I got it just for you! I’m excited to try it out with you.”

– im so fucking hard

– i wanna see ur pussy

– thats so nice, ur sweet

“Slow down! Haha, we’re gonna take our time,” you laughed away the weird feeling in your chest as you read the fleeing comments. “You’re so impatient today, lovely. Did you have a hard day? I know I did,” you slowly peeled down the blouse you wore, letting it hang off your shoulders to expose your bare shoulders. It seemed redundant to wear a bra, but you kept the shirt covering your breasts for dramatic effect, hard nipples peaking through.

“I just wanna take it a little more… gentler, if that’s alright.” The camera was angled to cut off at your neck to avoid showing your face, but you bit your lip anyways as you held up the grinder. “It’s a little out of my comfort zone, honestly. I’ve never told you about this fantasy before.” You ran your finger down the rubber center, feeling the many little suction cups bend.

You giggled as you came to the swirled tip of the tentacle, playing with the way it curled and how pliable it was. “When I ordered this, they let me choose the color. I think pink suits me, don’t you? But I also thought, maybe blue? Or black… but then it would be too hard for you to see, right?”

As you spoke, you laid the grinder between your legs but not quite touching it. With two fingers, you stroked it the same way you would your own pussy. Your other free hand was doing just that right behind the toy and beneath the length of your shirt, feeling your wetness building up with your hand down your panties. “Oh my, just talking to you– my underwear is soaked!” The giggle that left your lips was genuine, you didn’t expect to work yourself up so quickly.

You stole your fingers from your cunt and showed it to the camera, spreading them to let your viewers see the slick coating shine in the soft lighting. “Heh, told ya I was excited. You make me like this.”

When you started to really get going it was hard to pay attention to the comments, you tended to get a little lost until you finally came. Like now, you brought the toy closer to your core, lightly lifting yourself to sit on it. As soon as you did, you let out a whimper.

Hyunjin had never felt so embarrassed in his life. He doesn’t even know why, he couldn’t have been sure of anything.

Except he was. He was 100% sure, plus another 10% for good measure. He hadn’t even known about the site for long, you were just his favorite. He’d found hardcandysweetheart and never bothered to look anywhere else.

You were just another customer at first, a pretty one that caught his attention. He noticed you in line and had every intention of flirting and possibly asking for you to sign up for the rewards program with them just so he could use that as an excuse to get your number. Then you spoke.

All you fucking did was speak. “Please,” and “thank you,” and Hyunjin fucking crumbled.

Jesus, he must have looked like an idiot. He knows he did, but he was star struck. Fanboying, red in the face with embarrassment, about to fold at the knees, and hard as a fucking rock all at the same time. He had to excuse himself to the restroom as soon as you left just to get his boner to go away.

If it really was you– and he hoped to god it wasn’t– he’ll never forget such a pretty face.

Which is why he turned on notifications for your stream. He knew your schedule by heart but he needed to be sure that it was your voice he heard. As soon as he got home from his shift, clothes came off and he was sat in bed with his laptop nearby, just waiting for the ping notification from you.

God, it was you. As soon as he heard you through his headphones, it confirmed what he already knew.

What a kind voice, supple, soft, he could listen to you for hours– he has listened to you for hours. Sometimes he wished you could do live streams of just you talking, you never even had to take your clothes off. Now that he knew what you looked like, Hyunjin’s heartbeat faster than it ever did when you made conversation.

It was the way you did, as though you were speaking to him and only him. The image he created of you in his head looked like it was thought up by a child in comparison to seeing you in real life. He could put a face to the voice now, he wasn’t even thinking about your body. Just your voice.

“You make me like this,” you said in almost a whisper, tone cracking just a little the more you sat on the toy.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but palm at himself, not entirely stroking but moving at the same pace. This was a team effort, in his mind. You made him crazy, as he did to you. That was his fantasy. You always spoke with so much love in your voice, as though you truly cared for him and it got him harder than any other kind of porn ever could.

Was that really all it took? Was he that pathetic? Someone who didn’t even know who he was, talking to an ocean of people that all saw the same thing he did, and suddenly it’s the only thing that can make him cum.

He can’t even complain now, he’s seen you. That’s enough spank bank to last him a lifetime if you ever suddenly decided to stop camming. Shit– he hopes he didn’t just manifest that into existence.

The white button up top draped in front of your cunt to hide away from view. That’s alright, you said you were taking it slow today. Your hips slowly pushed forward and back, hands gripping tightly at the armrests of your uncomfortable looking desk chair. Hyunjin thought it was kind of cute how you would still cam in the same seat as you did when he found your first video. 

His laptop on his abdomen concealed the view of his cock leaking, but the way you were sat on screen, he could envision it was him you were sitting on instead. That’s exactly what he imagined as you rocked faster into the toy, lifting your shirt and balling it in your fist to show that your wetness had spread to the front of your panties. Hyunjin didn’t even mind that the bold pink tentacle blocking a bit of the view, you were getting so into it that he hardly noticed anymore.

Hyunjin fumbled to find his dick, slowly beginning to squeeze the head as you turned to shorter and quicker ruts towards the front of the toy where the tentacle curled up. You moaned loudly, making him do so as well in return. “Fuck, I ruined this pair, didn’t I?”

Your cute laugh had Hyunjin breaking out into a smirk, “that’s okay,” he whispered to no one but himself.

“I should take it off but,” you rolled your hips again with a whine, “I kinda want you to work for it.”

The tips in the corner of the page were pinging like crazy as soon as you said that. He himself tapped the button rapidly and paid no mind to how his account balance shot down.

“C’mon now, don’t be shy. It’s just one little word that I wanna hear. I’ll say it first, if that makes you feel better.” The speed of your hips picked up a little, in turn Hyunjin let his fist slowly work up and down, no faster than you, of course.

“Please. Please, is the word I’m looking for, lovely. Say it, just once.”

Fuck, he couldn’t help speeding up just a little. He loved the way you said it, even more the way you commanded him to say it as well. “Please,” the whimper came out breathy and uneven as the precum lubricated his cock more.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Hyunjin shook his head, no. 

“No, it wasn’t. Look what happens when you ask nicely,” you stood from your seat just to pull off the flimsy fabric, sitting fully back down on the toy and holding up the soaked pair with another chuckle. “You get nice things.”

Hyunjin could hear how wet you really were now, every lewd sound that came from you rubbing yourself back and forth on the grinder. You still didn’t let him– them– see you fully. He wasn’t even sure if you’d expose yourself at all this stream. Still, his fist picked up speed as you did, taking in every grunt you let out when you’d hit a particularly good spot. Hyunjin kept his eyes on you the whole time, memorizing the way you moved, what angle made you tick.

“C’mon lovely, I know you can do better than that.”

You were referring to the tip counter, but Hyunjin took it as he can do better than that. His other hand reached around the laptop, down to cup his balls as he worked his cock faster, occasionally running his fingers over the head for a break in stimulation. Somehow he managed to stop touching himself for a split second to rapid fire extra tips when they slowed down.

“Oh, someone wants a little extra attention today. What do I call you, lovely?” Hyunjin wasn’t sure if you were speaking to him, though he hoped and typed a nickname anyways. “Baby? That’s cute. Thank you, baby, you’re so sweet.”

His hand instantly returned to his dick, not caring about the speed anymore, instead wanting to cum to the sound of your voice. He quickly tapped the tip button a few more times and you giggled, “baby, you’re spoiling me. Here, since you’re being so nice,” you lifted the hem of your shirt to put your bare cunt on display, seemingly tucking the end of it into your mouth.

Hyunjin could see it so clearly, your pretty lips drooling onto the fabric, biting it to contain the moans that wanted to slip past. Fuck, he was going insane, wet, slick noises from his animalistic fisting on his cock almost surpassing the volume of your voice in his headphones. 

He just watched now, listened intently to how good you were making yourself feel and it made his body light a fire. You were clearly getting closer as well, forgetting the dirty talk and humping away at the toy with little to no regard for who was watching. Hyunjin loved this side of you the most, when you couldn’t think of anything other than the impending pleasure. He could imagine your eyes rolling back, the furrow in your brow and beads of sweat dripping down your temples as you came nearer to falling over the edge. Your hands moved to grip the edge of the seat, aiding in pushing your body forward and back harder against the grinder and Hyunjin was jerking himself with a hotter fervor. Your muffled cries echoed in his head– he was making you feel like this, he was the one you were using to please yourself, he was the one you thought of as you came all over his cock.

Hyunjin suddenly held his breath and let his release take over his body, squeezing and pumping the tip of his cock as he spurt his seed all over his stomach and back of his computer. By the time he’d come to, opened his eyes, and regained his breath, you were slumped back in your chair and panting heavily. He missed your grand finale, but that was okay with him, you came at the same time. Even in post nut clarity, he wanted to hear your voice. More than that, he wanted to hold you, run his fingers through your hair, kiss you until you were breathless all over again.

Hyunjin’s shaky hand found the tip button again and tapped.

“Thank you, baby.” He smiled.

You groaned and found the strength to steal the toy from your aching cunt, holding it up for the camera to see it glistening with your essence. Laughing, “this was fun, wasn’t it? I enjoyed myself, I might have to buy more of these.” You tossed it onto the desk and suddenly seemed shy, tugging your shirt as far down as you could without exposing more skin. “Until next time, lovely. I’ll miss you.” You waved your dainty fingers at the camera, doing your signature sign off, and the screen went black.

Hyunjin’s head fell back into his pillows, staring at the ceiling trying to understand all the emotions he just rushed through. 

He couldn’t compute them even if he tried. All he knew was that he was excited to go to work tomorrow morning, hoping that whatever god heard his plea, begging that you’ll come in.

When he went to shut his laptop, his fingers smeared the warm mess that was slowly dripping. “Fuck— ew,” and he hurried to clean up, alone once again.

☆ﾟ

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @goblinracha @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut

[like-a-bantha]

Lost/Loss

Summary: Everything changed after Eriadu. Hunter becomes withdrawn, and you can't help but worry about him. You do what you can to show him you're there for him.

Pairing: Hunter/GN Reader (No Y/N, no descriptions of reader's appearance)

Rating: T

Warnings: Angst, mentions of major character death

Word Count: 1.7k

AO3 | Masterlist

One week of radio silence. Our contact was supposed to get back to us five days ago with intel on Hemlock and his captives. Instead, we’ve sat around on Pabu tensely awaiting a holocall that we’re beginning to lose hope in receiving.

Phee was kind enough to offer us room in her home, and free reign of her holotable, to act as a sort of base. It’s been quieter since we were last gathered around this table. The usual boisterous laughter and interrupted rants replaced with worried silence broken every so often by a sea breeze that no longer carries the joyous sound of Omega and Lyana playing just outside. That mission, Hemlock, the Empire, took so much from us; it’s taken an incredible amount of effort from Hunter, Wrecker, and I to not allow these forces working against us to take our hope on top of it all.

Echo and Rex referred us to this contact not long ago, someone who they’d worked closely with during the war, someone they trust. I commed Echo. Hunter advised against it, said it wasn’t worth it, that all we could do now was wait. I snuck out to the Marauder to use the long distance com anyways. Of course, the conversation was brief, and he has as much information as we do. Sit tight. Waiting game. All that.

“How’re they holding up?” His voice low, even with the volume adjusted to its highest setting. He’d mentioned returning to Coruscant last time we spoke, it must be the middle of the night there. We always did have terrible sleeping schedules.

“Not well, but I mean…” I trail off, we both know the reason, we both hold some foolish hope that not saying it will make it less true, “They miss you.”

“But you don’t?” There’s that sass, that glint of normalcy I’ve both craved and feared these past two months.

A laugh escapes me as if on instinct, it sounds foreign, “Nah, thought I’d never shake you. So clingy.”

“You’re one to talk, you do realize it’s 0100 here?”

This, our shared brand of humor and sarcasm, too, feels so distant to me now. Slowly, it comes back to me, “Oh, I’m so sorry, did I wake you up? Were you sleeping?” 

“Like a baby.” His warm chuckle crackles through the com speaker, and mine through his. The silence that follows is warm, easing his way into broaching the question, “I take it he’s distancing himself again?”

I sigh, a deep sigh only brought about by reality, “I get it, I really do — and, honestly as bad as it sounds, I wish I didn’t because this kriffing hurts — but withdrawing like this, I don’t know why he can’t see it’s only making the feeling worse.”

“Have you told him that?”

“‘Course. He just says something about how we can’t give up and stares at the holotable. I don’t want to give up, I can’t give up, I just hate seeing him like this.” 

Echo hums, but just as he begins to respond, static and unintelligible voices play loudly through the speaker. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go. Good luck.”

I nod, wiping at my misty eyes as I reach for the switch to end the transmission, “Be safe. Talk soon.”

Silence. Mournful, somber silence echoes through the lonely hull of the once lively ship. Everywhere my gaze falls sits a piece of their history, our history; one of Tech’s unfinished projects, a drawing of the ship Omega had called extra credit, Echo’s favorite brand of instant caf. Unable to withstand the weight of these memories, I decide to take my leave and the silence follows me back to the cottage.

I return to a rare sight: an empty house. No Wrecker sitting at the kitchen counter disassembling and reassembling explosives. No Phee asking him to take it outside. No Hunter hovering over the holotable awaiting a call. No com to tell me to hurry back, mustn’t have been an emergency.

I make my way over to the holotable, fingertips gliding across its rounded edge as I approach Hunter’s usual seat. When I pull out the chair, I’m met with a sight that would normally make me laugh. His shredded scarf that he’s grown so attached to, destroyed on our last mission to gather intel, along with his prized bandana that appears to have shrunken in the wash. The best I can muster is a bemused huff, taking the bundle of abused fabric into my arms as I sit. Suddenly, I’m struck with an idea. It could be a very stupid idea, of course, but a very good idea doesn’t always equate to a very smart idea. It’s a perspective thing and seeing as the only perspective available at the moment is my own, I figure I may as well get to it before more perspectives show up.

After careful work, I neatly fold remaining fabric and stash it in my pack with my tools; as the designated mender of the group, I know firsthand there is no such thing as too many fabric patches. Returning to the table, finished product tucked delicately in my vest pocket, approaching voices grow louder and louder.

“I’m telling you, it looks good! Stop fussing, leave it… yeah, like that,” Phee’s voice nears the door, and I’m sure I hear Hunter grumbling about something. The door whooshes open and my eyes widen with surprise. When I meet Phee’s gaze, she seems to silently plead for backup, “You’re back! What do you think?”

She gestures to an unamused Hunter, visibly fighting the urge to fidget with the hat he’s wearing. It doesn’t look bad on him, very few things would, but he doesn’t exactly look comfortable. Unwilling to hold the spotlight any longer, he grabs the floppy brim and removes it from his head, tossing the garment onto the table as he takes the seat next to me. Unable to help myself, I lean forward with a smile and run a hand through his slightly disheveled hair.

“That bad, huh?” Phee sighs, Wrecker following closely behind as she heads for the kitchen.

“I liked it,” The glee still empty from his voice, even at something that would’ve garnered one of his trademark laughs a few months ago.

“Me, too, big guy.” Phee sets a crate of groceries on the countertop. Wrecker’s taken to cooking. Though he’s been much quieter these days, Wrecker seems like himself again when he’s preparing a meal.

Hunter’s gaze is locked on the table, silences between us were never tense like this. When he speaks, he doesn’t look at me. “How’s Echo.”

It isn’t a question, more of a remark, maybe even an I told you so if I really read into it. I answer it like a question anyway, “Good, but no word from the contact.”

He hums. The silence that follows deems the told you so unnecessary.

I reach into my vest pocket. Now’s as good a time as any. “I made you something.”

He hums again, gaze flicking away from the table for half a second in question. Right now, that’s probably the best I’ll get. I place an open palm on the table before him. After a moment's hesitation he rests his hand atop mine, palm up, and I look to his eyes as I delicately drape a band of maroon fabric with thin gold stripes across his fingers.

Hunter’s expression is unreadable, regarding the gift silently. I bite my tongue, attempting to hold in any preemptive apologies in fear that I may have overstepped. My flat expression shifts only when I see his eyes begin to well up, before the first sorry can push past the floodgates he turns to me with the faintest smile. A smile I haven’t seen in too long. His grip tightens around the bandana as he rushes to pull me into a tight hug. Instantly, my arms wrap around him, tears forming in my own eyes. “I love it,” his voice low, he places a kiss on my temple, “thank you.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more.” My voice comes out a whisper, all of the words I hold back seem louder. “We’re going to get them back, Hunter.”

“Not without a fight.” He says grimly, holding me tighter, as if he’ll lose me the second he lets go.

“I know,” I pull back to look into his eyes, my hand coming up to cup his tattooed cheek, “but we fight as a team. We can’t keep bottling all of this up, we need to take care of each other, ourselves.”

Hunter rests his forehead against mine as he sighs, “You’re right.”

“I know. How’re you feeling?” He shuts his eyes as my thumb gently ghosts back and forth over his cheekbone.

He thinks for a moment before releasing me, opening his palm to look at the bandana in his hand. “Lost,” he turns the garment over, examining the back, “Loss. I couldn’t protect them. You, Wrecker, Phee, you’re all I’ve got now and I’m afraid I won’t be able to protect you either.”

“Tech protected us. Omega, too. I think it’s cruel to put that duty solely on yourself, Hunter. It’s an impossible weight to carry on your own,” A tear falls from my eye, quickly sliding down my cheek before landing on my pant leg, “please, let me carry some.”

“Giving it away doesn’t sound easy, either.” His own tears threaten to spill over, I hope I never get used to the subtle, somber shake in his voice, “But I’d like to try.”

When he looks up with a sad, weary smile, I can’t help but lean forward and place a small kiss to his lips. I begin to withdraw, but Hunter’s palm cups my cheek and pulls me back in for a longer, gentler and tearful kiss. This time, the silence that follows is peaceful as he rests his forehead against mine once more.

His loose hair falls around his face and I accidentally pull a few strands into my mouth as I inhale. He chuckles a bit as I pull away, a sound I’ve missed dearly. I can’t help but let out a small laugh of my own, reaching up to once again run a hand through his curls, “It’s gotten so long.”

Hunter smiles, turning the bandana over once more before presenting it to me, “Do the honors?”

With a smile and a nod, I take the cloth from his grasp, delicately wrapping the fabric around his head and tying a single knot.

“It’s perfect,” He places a soft kiss to my knuckles, taking my hand in his, “thank you.”

The holotable chirps. Incoming transmission.

A/N: Someone pointed out Hunter's hair looks longer, plus the new bandana, I just had to get this out of my system. Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think, comments mean the world to me! <3

[abundancewithher]

3 de agusto de 2024

hey stars and hearts! Mimi here and I didn’t post these past couple days because my mom went to the hospital and I was more so worried about her health. she slowly but surely getting better and I pray that she has a quick recovery to get back to her normalcy.

yesterday I had a couple of thoughts that I felt were downloads today once I thought back on them. as we all know, I do slang chicken minis, and hashbrowns in the mornings, from 6 to 2. while I like my job, I don’t want to work there anymore and I don’t want to continue to convince myself that I do. it’s only been a month since i started.

by this point, it was between 7 AM and 9 AM and my feet were hurting me so bad to the point they were going numb. I was walking back from taking orders outside to walk inside the building and I was thinking “I can’t do this any longer, I can’t keep standing on my feet for eight hours and only getting a 30 minute break. I deserve more than that.”

The second thought I had, I was back outside, taking orders. by this time, it was about an hour or two before I was getting ready to go home. I just received the ordertaking tablet and my coworker was setting up the fan for me so that I don’t go hot and pass out at work.

It was really, really hot! and I said “oh damn, I’m standing directly in the sun I don’t wanna burn up!” my coworker, who I suspect has a crush on me because he’s much nicer to me than anyone else, offers to get the sunscreen for me and he does.

but then again I could be thinking too much into it, he could just be really nice. but I am also very intuitive and I know how people act around me, especially when they show interest. no I don’t think it’s my beauty in particular, while I do think I’m beautiful, that’s a given. I would hope anyone thinks that about themselves and if you don’t, it’s time to change your mindset! but I really think it’s my energy.

just past a few months alone. I’ve been told by people that I know that they crave me, they need to hear my opinion, I bring light and peace to them, I’m a breath of fresh air for them. so I thought, if others think of me in that way, why can’t I think about myself that way? so I did, i believed it to be true. i’m getting emotional while I’m typing this lol.

but back to the conversation I was having with my coworker, he comes back with the sunscreen and I think I ended up saying “now I’m shining” but I really think my coworker was the one that said it. but he goes “yes, well, more than you already are.” and of course, this confirms that he does have a crush on me that and I am a shining star. today i felt I am meant to do more than this.

The pieces really didn’t come together until I was talking to my boyfriend about me thinking that my coworker has a crush on me. and then I ended up saying “of course he does. I like myself too, I’m such an amazing person.” and when I was saying that I felt it wasn’t conscious, I felt this came from my subconscious. by the time, I actually realize what I said my boyfriend tumbled over and laughter because he said it sounded conceited.

and of course, he knows me personally I’m not some conceited person so I didn’t take it personally, in all honesty it was hilarious! I have never consciously spoke that way about myself because usually I’m so convinced that I’m not this genuine person that people think I am. I realized at that moment that I had finally changed my subconscious for me to feel deserving of more.

for a while, I felt I was being fake, but in actuality, it was my new mindset fighting with my old mindset. I was going through a sense of impostor syndrome, but I am really proud that I said that even if it may sound conceited. when I said it, it felt genuine. It didn’t feel like anything i was combating how I felt in that moment, and that was very important to me. I am now my real self, no longer being a picture of niceness and that others can run over because of my past people pleasing tendencies.

it felt rewarding to say that genuinely. I finally feel I am in alignment to my manifestations now as I am becoming the person, I am meant to be to receive them. Slowly, but surely, I am still changing my mindset about money and my finances but I definitely feel this is the start. but I will talk about that in my next post, until then my loves,

ttylxoxo, mimi💋

p.s this is the notification i received as I was writing this at 7am!

[nikki-l-l]

This year so far, summed up:

Notes from February 2023:

(untitled)

For some, it’s just another day back to work after a longer weekend but for some, it was a change in environment and a little beat of excitement from the mundane normalcy of the daily grind.

It’s February. I don’t recall writing a year end post so I guess this is it. Sometimes, I had too much fun that I forget that bitter times always follow.

Today feels especially … - I don’t know how to describe this feeling of helplessness, unwanted and this feeling humbles me. I feel very defeated today. It’s funny how my tennis coach always say, you’re a ferocious dragon otherwise you wouldn’t be working overseas in this hardcore city. But I don’t feel that way at all, I’m just cruising through just like everyone else. That water line which determine if you drown into the deep ocean or if you’re quick enough to gasp another gulp of air.

Anxiety is back. I don’t recall feeling this way or probably I did but the feeling was so fleeting that I don’t remember it now. I hate Sundays. It gives me to uncomfortable nagging feeling that I wish time would stop. Stop that second from moving. Freeze in time please. I wonder if I felt this way when I was working back home. I’m actually kinda tired of feeling this way. The dreading Sundays. When can I stop feeling this way?

Just need to persevere for another 41 months. It’ll be quick.

Notes from May 2023:

Too much.

I’m tired all the time because I’m so exhausted from work. Not because I’m exhausted from work but u have so much in my mind now.

Looking back these two years, I feel like I’ve not properly “live”. I let work consume me and take up so much of my time. Although I don’t work on weekends, my weekends are just spent recuperating from the week of work exhaustion. I don’t wanna do this anymore.

You know there will be a playlist/song that will invoke some emotion. Lately I’m so afraid to play that playlist because I’m so scared. I’m scare of the feelings/emotions that I’ve buried in the past two years. I’m afraid that lid covering those emotions might just fly off if I start playing those songs.

I think I’m clinically depressed because of my work situation but I’ve just been holding back. Sometimes I wonder if it’s me. Why do I have such a bad relationship with my job? If I can’t even have a good with my job, what qualification do I have to start/sustain a long term commitment to a person. And they say, as you get older, you’ll crave companionship but does everyone qualify for that kind of commitment. I know for one I don’t.

I always have this nagging sense that I’d screw up and I feel only I can overcome this.

Notes from September 2023:

Masked

Overwhelmed

Amplify the feeling

Low energy

Bouts of depression symptoms

Notes from November 2023:

This crippling anxiety did not go away, I’m still afraid that I might fuck up. Albeit undiagnosed, I think I’m clinically depressed. The thoughts of why I’m alive has return again. Maybe I’ve kept myself so busy in these past 2 years is just so I could stop having these questioning thought of my existence in the world.

I’m in a bad mental state of mind right now - I just want to not feel anything, I wanna be numb about my emotions. My brain is going on overdrive at every awakening moment.

I don’t know how to feel.

[juniperhillpatient]

I can only speak for myself but for me I think azula should have a healing arc but not a redemption arc because I want her to get away from everyone who’s hurt her. she doesn’t owe anyone shit after the comics

Hm okay thank you for explaining! I think we are defining words differently & that’s part of where my confusion came in. @queenofthefaces explained it more concisely than I can in the replies. I’m guessing this is what you mean?

To me, healing would mean that Azula learns that the way she grew up - emotionally & mentally manipulated & taught to idolize her father & turn against her brother - was wrong. This also means she would/should learn that the way she grew up - with the mindset that being Fire Nation & royalty makes her better than everyone else & that people from other nations are below her, & with imperialist ideals - was wrong. If you’d like to stop there, & never have her reconcile with anyone, that’s fine (& imo would count as both redemption & healing), we just disagree on what would make a good story. I’m not satisfied with that ending because it completely separates Azula from the story & the rest of the cast which just isn’t, for me personally, a fulfilling character arc within the context of the show I love so much.

I’m not a fan of the way the comics were written, they were out of character & narratively did not follow up the show well in my opinion & as such they never factor into my analysis. That said, you CAN have a satisfying fan fiction or alternate universe story where Azula separates herself entirely from the cast we know & love & that’s fine - as a lover of alternate universes I have no leg to stand on in terms of being against this, do go & have fun with that idea - but I do think it’s narratively illogical (again, discarding the garbage comics) to do so in the context of canon. If you disagree that’s okay. But my personal opinion is that it would narratively make sense for Azula to reconcile with other characters, especially with Zuko & Ursa as well as Ty Lee & Mai. In a story about friendship, healing & forgiveness where a central theme is the new generation being better than their ancestors, why would you not want the fire siblings to reconcile? It’s the logical follow up in a story where the royal family has always been toxic & feuding & Ozai (& Iroh!) pitted the siblings against each other. It would give Azula a chance at the normalcy she craves & a family that isn’t hateful & toxic. It would wrap up Zuko’s arc of self confidence & healing to recognize that his sister was a victim too. They could find Ursa together & solve that mystery as well as having Ursa tell Azula that she was never a monster. That’s the obvious narratively satisfying ending right there & I’m forever bitter we didn’t get it 😤

Azula forgiving Mai & Ty Lee for their betrayals & understanding why they did what they did to me would make sense as a part of her arc toward recognizing her wrongs in the war. And I don’t see any reason Mai & Ty Lee wouldn’t reconcile with Azula. You could argue she was ready to kill Mai & that’s hard to forgive but idk it was war many of the characters were in deadly altercations including ZUKO VS THE GAANG & MAI & TY LEE VS THE GAANG.

I also think Azula should be friends with the gaang as well - especially / specially Katara, her narrative foil & the one to defeat her. It just makes sense for Azula to learn from Katara, a character with so many parallels to her. And also I think she should reconcile with Aang because he is the Avatar & the one trying to bring peace & balance to the world. Plus a healed & redeemed Azula would be horrified that she almost killed Aang, you can’t change my mind. As for the others, if Azula went on this huge arc & is now friends with Zuko & Katara & Aang why wouldn’t she also get along with Sokka & Toph & Suki? The show itself (let’s not forget it’s a kids show too y’all friendship is in fact at the heart of the story & it’s not a bad thing to have everyone as friends at the end especially if the bad guys have recognized their wrongs) has Ty Lee & Mai as besties with the gaang post war despite them having fought on opposite sides until the Boiling Rock.

In conclusion I don’t know why you wouldn’t want Azula to be redeemed AND healed AND reconcile with her friends & family + make new friends! Unless you count the comics & in that case I just can’t help you sorry

[literaphobe]

Omg ily it’s so good!!!

FUCK NOW I FEEL BAD FOR DELETING IT HANG ON I THOUGHT NO ONE WAS AWAKE YET

He’s having sort of a… picture-less dream. Where he can’t really see much going on, but if he focuses hard enough, he can visualize what’s happening. George has had enough sleepy fantasies and late night calls to know: he’s pathetically dreaming about his best friend.

Again. As usual. It’s been a recurring thing.

In other words, he’d know that fucking moan anywhere.

Those hands are on his back, but it’s just his imagination. Still, his imagination does a rather vivid job. They feel as big as he’s ever imagined, warm as he’s ever hoped, and safe as he’s ever craved.

George wishes that’s all he wanted from those hands. But he’s greedy, and quite frankly horny. He wants them everywhere.

Spontaneously, he gets pulled in closer, as if his wish was his dream’s command. George’s face involuntarily buries into soft sweats, nestled in that sturdy chest.

He can’t help himself now. George inhales, and his nostrils are invaded by a warm, floral scent. Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy. The Dream of his dreams moans again, slotting their legs together, and George goes into overdrive. Fuck, that feels good. Maybe a few minutes in Dream land won’t hurt. What’s wrong with dreaming a dream of Dream, anyway? It’s in the name. It’s only natural.

Okay, maybe the heavy petting isn’t exactly natural, but George is too turned on to care. He cares so little he could wake up before the best part and hold no regrets. He wouldn’t care, even as he shamefully jerked himself off the next day. He’d push past all the guilt you get for thinking of your best friend like this, because this dream feels so good it’s almost real.

“George…”

His name rolls out all groggy, catching George’s heart in a chokehold.

But he quickly moves past it, because striking as that voice may be, his dream imagines that solid thigh grind against his crotch, starting slow, but then picking up a steady motion.

It drags a moan from George’s lips too. They’re a mess together, dream George and dream Dream. That sounds stupid, but his blood is currently rushing south, so forgive him. His mouth winds up somewhere near a collarbone. None of this is real, so he gives it a kiss.

“Love you…”

Something about that stops George. This is… a little new.

He usually dreams of depravity, not tenderness.

Sweet declarations of platonic love are what the real Dream does, and it strikes George so hard. Hearing it has always been a little painful.

But right now? Of all places?

It’s far too harrowing. It agonizes, and hits too close to the home he can’t live in. The home he’s waited to live in for too long, and he’s not talking about the many acres of land they bought together.

It’s this. And now he’s gotten all sombre, so when he wakes up he’s going to be sad. He’ll still be horny, don’t get him wrong, but something about it will seize at him, tear him to shreds. The thought of not getting to be where he wants to be more than any place on earth? These feelings will ache and tear at his heart whenever he tries to log on, attempt normalcy on Discord. He’d feel like a bottomless pit, unable to catch anything, let alone a break.

“Love you guys…”

Oh. What? Jesus fucking christ. Stupid little parasocial piece of shit. That wasn’t even for George. Why is his dream memeing him? This is a serious betrayal, worst than making it all end before the best part.

[slasherhaven]

Hi there! Can I request Lester, Thomas, Asa, and chromeskull with a very obedient, domestic housewife-y s/o? Takes care of chores, cooking, etc? Thank you so much!! ❤️

Thomas Hewitt, Lester Sinclair, The Collector, and Chromeskull.

With an Obedient, domestic Housewife-esque S/O:

Thomas Hewitt 

You’re literally the perfect partner for Thomas.

Your obedient nature comes more into play with Luda May and Hoyt, doing your assigned chores and duties without complaint and with a smile. Thomas doesn’t really boss you about the same way...or at all.

Of course, Luda May loves you because now she has someone to help with the more domestic chores. She also thinks you’re perfect for Thomas because she knows that you will care for him, making you the perfect spouse in her eyes.

The family is pretty old fashioned, so you’ll probably be an easier fit than the alternative.

Even though Thomas doesn’t demand anything from you, you’re always giving, always wanting to care for him in such a domestic way. Making him food and drinks, making sure he rests, showing him all the love he could ask for.

You’re always trying to clean up in the basement, assuring him that you really don’t mind and it needs a good clean. It results in him cleaning the basement because he doesn’t want you having to get your hands dirty with all the gory stuff that’s down there.

Don’t tell Luda May but...Thomas prefers your cooking, he absolutely loves it. He has a bit of a sweet tooth so he loves all your sweet baked goods as well.

Thomas craves a domestic life, and that’s why you’re prefect for him.

If you want children, Thomas loves you even more because he would love a family. You caring for the children, cooking for them and him, your husband, it’s like a dream to him.

You’re just...perfect in his eyes.

Lester Sinclair

Lester just thinks you’re really sweet and adores you.

He doesn’t take advantage of your obedient nature, he isn’t really interested in doing that. 

Though, he will keep you away from Bo because his brother would defiantly take advantage of it, making you do all sorts of chores around the town, he would probably have you clean his house...so Lester keeps you away from him as much as he can.

Lester’s house has never been so clean and tidy.

He doesn’t ask you to clean anything, you just do it and you always assure him that you don’t mind doing it.

When he’s been in town and he comes home, you always greet him with a hug and a kiss. That’s possibly his favourite thing ever, it’s so simple and domestic but it makes him feel so loved.

Lester loves your cooking, it’s been so long since he’s had a homecooked meal and your cooking is just so good.

Just thinks you’re the sweetest when you make some sort of baked goods or even just extra food for him to take to his brothers in town.

When he makes a mess, he always tries to clean it up because he feels guilty about having you do it. You always have to reassure him that it’s not a problem and to just let you do it...mostly because you’ll do it better, but he doesn’t need to be told that.

Asa Emory (The Collector) 

Anyone that meets you thinks the two of you contrast almost completely. Despite doing a wonderful job of coming across and normal and fitting in, Asa can come across so cold and mysterious, while you’re so warm and welcoming.

Definitely uses your obedient nature against you, though...I suppose you don’t really mind so does it really matter?

Asa can be pretty...bossy, he’s downright demanding and he expects you to do as he says, it’s the relationship the two of you had established.

In a way you have a bit of a schedule. Most cleaning and various chores take place while he is at work, at his day job. So that your attention can be more directed at him once he’s home.

When he comes home, you greet him with a kiss and a ‘how was your day?’ which is more just something that you enjoyed doing rather than something he told you to do.

He can be really bad at showing affection but you’re wonderful at it, giving him plenty of kisses on the cheek and words of affection even when he doesn’t return it. 

Though...he can’t deny that there is something endearing about the joyful look on your face when he does show you affection.

The housewife-y part of your personality is certainly welcome. You keep the house clean and tidy, your cooking is wonderful (even he compliments you on that). However, it’s your obedience that he’s fonder of.

That shouldn’t be too surprising with Asa. He just likes when you obey him or whenever you’re submissive to him.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull) 

You don’t need to be so on top of the domestic chores, but you are and a part of him loves it.

It has to be said that you are wonderful for his image and his cover. How could any suspect him of something so sinister when he has such a normal and lovely partner?

But it’s more than that, he loves you and thinks there is something charming about the domestic nature of it all, just the normalcy of it.

Jesse is fond of your obedient nature but doesn’t exploit it as much as Asa does.

He’s not going to force your to clean and cook for him, he could easily pay someone to do that, but he still likes being the dominant partner in the relationship.

He’ll still make his ‘demands’ but they’re rarely to do with chores.

He does like when you bring him a drink, and he will start to ask for a drink from time to time, having become used to you serving them to him.

Now, he would love a kiss when he comes home from work but he doesn’t work normal hours. But when he comes home from a meeting of some sort and you greet him with a kiss, he loves that.

Normally him coming home means that he’s been gone for a while on a business trip, which means that he gets much more than a kiss when he gets home. He loves that even more. 

As soon as you greet him, he’s lifting you up and carrying you up the stairs.

You could make him a nice homecooked meal for when he returns but you’ll have to warm it up later, there are more important matters to be tended too first.

Jesse likes to spoil his partner, so you can expect to not have to make dinner all that often. However, he does have a soft spot for your cooking, it’s been a long time since he had a proper homecooked meal and your cooking is just so good. 

[cinnamonest]

Genshin Impact Yandere HCs - Razor

TW: mentions of noncon/impreg below the cut

In my last post I said Venti was probably one of the most difficult yanderes you could have... Well, Razor might just beat him on that.

- The thing that makes Razor so difficult is that he doesn't understand normalcy, feelings, and romance on so many levels. He doesn't even recognize the feeling he feels at first, it frustrates him even. He can't focus on hunting, nor fighting. He can't focus on anything, and keeps getting distracted. He thinks about the human he met every day, every hour, every second.

He's never observed such a feeling among the members of his wolven family. He doesn't like the realization that whatever he's experiencing is probably a testament to the fact that deep down, he knows he's human, and that this strong emotion in his chest is a human thing. Nonetheless, he can't really help it, and with time, he stops trying to fight it.

He begins to look forward to those times you venture out to his area, even if he worries about your safety when you're there. Eventually, memorizing your patterns, he starts to wait for you outside of Wolvendom, making it so that you don't have to put yourself in any danger by venturing deep in.

He finds himself feeling some warm, tingly feeling at the knowledge that you would willingly take your time to come see him, just to see him. It makes him feel that maybe, you're experiencing the same feeling that he has, and something about that idea makes him feel... Happy, some special happiness distinct from any other he's ever known.

- At first, he's willing to act a little bit human, just for you. He's observed humans enough to understand what they like, their customs. His primary form of affection is gifts, which he's observed that human girls like. Unfortunately for you, that will primarily be in the form of dead animals. You're too nice to hurt his feelings, so your acceptance with strained smiles only encourages him. You'll never go hungry, at least.

- Taking you away isn't him being sadistic nor disregarding of your feelings, rather more of a caveman-esque "club her over the head and drag her back to the cave" type of logic. Realistically, that might be exactly what he does. He's not exactly a delusional, but his lack of understanding makes him act like one. He wants you with him all the time, it's what's best for you. If you don't understand that, logically, it only makes sense to take matters into his own hands.

He sorta understands why you might be upset, but he thinks it's primarily confusion, or displacement from your environment. He assumes it'll only take you a few days to settle down and accept things, and will get frustrated the longer it takes.

- He doesn't need human restraints to keep you in your place - no, his pack is loyal and helpful to him, he simply assigns them to watch you and make sure you don't leave. If you try, well, he tells them not to hurt you too bad, but if push comes to shove, use whatever force is necessary. Really, you probably won't try it - stepping out of line earns you these enormous canines snarling at you, which is enough to strike a fear in you so great you immediately go back to your spot.

- Now, at first, you might think that your... Cultural differences could be used to your advantage. You could tell Razor that he just doesn't get it, with humans this isn't normal, and convince him to let you have autonomy or even leave, but you'll quickly find this isn't the case. He has a slight disdain for humans, and is very much convinced that the wolf way of doing things is simply better. He's very stubborn when it comes to this - who cares how humans do things? He's not truly one of them, this is how his kind does things, and you're just going to have to accept that.

- He's pretty easily upset, even if half the time it's just a frustration over something he doesn't quite understand, but nonetheless, he's not very used to practicing restraint. When wolves get mad, they get violent. It's all he knows. He's not one of those types that's too arrogant to admit to having gone too far/overreacted or too proud to apologize like some people (cough cough Kaeya), no, once he calms down, he'll be constantly apologizing, clinging to you, wrapping you up in his muscular arms, whimpering, nuzzling into your neck.

Speaking of violence, sorry, but any friends or companions you have that he sees as competition... aren’t gonna make it. It’s probably the most animalistic of all his traits, but when it comes down to things getting in his way, Razor can easily be utterly brutal. In his mind, you should be happy. The female wolves never get upset when a former alpha male is driven out, they just acknowledge the superiority of the new one, and he expects the same from you.

- With Razor, you’re going to experience a lot of forced intimacy. Not in a sexual way, but just... Touch. It's something the wolves aren't that big on, outside of mothers and pups. He's seen how humans cuddle, how they sleep next to each other and hold each other in their arms, and deep down he craves that feeling. He can sit for hours, just holding you.

While the aforementioned forced intimacy isn’t a sexual thing, that doesn’t mean that you won’t experience that as well. See, wolves don't really understand the concept of consent. They're simple creatures - the strongest male that can defeat the other ones, gets to do whatever he wants. In his mind, that's how these things work. If he just gets rid of every other competitor, you'll accept him as the alpha male and be his mate. Even though in wolf culture, that means he gets a whole pack of females, he doesn't have such an urge - he knows enough about humans to know that this desire for one single partner is a human trait.

He wasn't expecting you to be so resistant, but, it's not unheard of in his world. Sometimes, when a new alpha takes over a pack, females will initially be resistant and have trouble adapting. But with a lot of affection, emotional and physical, even if a bit forced, they eventually come around.

If all else fails, there is one surefire fix. From what he's always seen, the female wolves always become more loving, more obedient and docile, once they have puppies. The hormonal changes make them more... Accepting, or something. So, if you really, really struggle to accept your new life, it'll help speed up the process to give you puppies of your own.

[petri808]

Prompt- Marking/Monster fucker @bkdkkinktober Day 5

Izuku woke up with a start, hand clutching over the heart racing frantically in his chest to the darkness of a witch’s hour. The sheen of sweat coating his body glistened in the moonlight flowing over his bed, and his breathing raggedly trying to find normalcy in the pungent scent of sex still lingering in the air. But how if this was just a dream? A dream perhaps, yet the strongest since they’d started two weeks ago. The sticky dampness between his thighs indicating anything but fiction.

A slight breeze through the window sent shivers along Izuku’s body still sensitive to the touch… the touch— his touch… The red eyes and blonde shadow emblazoned behind his eyelids. Who was he? This thing, this person haunting his dreams and sending his body into realms of ecstasy night after night to leave him wanting and drained the next morning. He couldn’t wait to get back to bed after a long day of work, ready for more like a drug addict jonesing for their next hit.

“I want more…” Izuku whimpered into the silent room. Of strong hands dominating his toned frame, sharp nails… or were they claws? Regardless, the way they dug into his skin and controlled his hips forcing him to behave… Izuku reached into his boxers and began stroking his cock through this trip down memory lane. “Yes…” he whined, “more, I want more…” of heated bodies entwined, feeling so safe below that scarlet gaze, yet frozen by their stare— and the bites… he remembered the canines that sent his heart stuttering. Izuku paused mid-stroke to reach up to his nape. Yes, the tenderness was there again, but skin still unbroken.

To experience being filled and fucked by this gorgeous dream man. Damn, he’d do anything to make this real! Take him, mark him, a willing slave if it meant nights of endless bliss! “Please—” Izuku groaned. “Be real…”

Each night that passed by left Izuku craving more, and body left spent and tired the next morning. He didn’t know how dreams could cause so much exhaustion, but the intensity was definitely increasing. The logical part of his brain knew damn well this wasn’t good for him, too bad his lonely heart was winning the fight.

“Y-Yeah, I’m heading out right now sir— literally running out the door as we speak… Yes, Mr. Aizawa, I know it’s the second time this week I’ve been late, I… I need to get a new alarm, I think mines broken— oh… of course, sir, I’ll grab that on my way to the office for you.”

As he rushed out of his apartment, Izuku clicked off the phone, repeating his bosses order. “Double macchiato, add cinnamon, double macchiato add cinnamon, don’t forget— OOF!” The phone went flying out of Izuku’s hand as he smacked right into a solid object and bounced back, falling on his ass. “Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorr—” Izuku gasped.

“Tch. What a way to welcome your new neighbor.” The stranger held out a hand to help Izuku up. “Just be more careful next time.”

“R-Right,” Izuku stammered, “sorry, mister?”

“Katsuki Bakugou.”

“Mr. Bakugou, thank you— I-I mean sorry, again!” Izuku bowed before rushing away.

Blonde hair, red eyes… It couldn’t be! This was the first time he’d met his obviously solid flesh neighbor, so there was no way he could’ve dreamt up the beefcake! “Couldn’t be,” Izuku mumbled to himself. The man was very new, moved in maybe a week ago… ‘right around the time the dreams started escalating…’ He shook his head. Ridiculous. Those were dreams and this man was real— they couldn’t be linked. By the time he got to work, Izuku put the whole event out of his mind and focused on his job before he lost it.

A guy that hot was out of his league, so why not just live in his dreamworld?

“Ka…cchan…” The name wisps out from Izuku’s lips as clawed hands guided the sharp rocking of his hips, ground firmly over the man’s cock. “I can’t—” Izuku whined, legs trembling and starting to give out. “Please…” It was the first time of any of the dreams that the mystery lover had him doing the work.

But in the blink of an eye, Izuku found himself on his back once more, his lovers low grunts to his moans echoing as he was filled over and over in rapid succession. The man’s face stayed buried in the crook of his neck— till a cry rang out, Izuku’s own from fangs sunk deeply into his skin. Familiar, delicious white-hot ache flowing through his system, sending stars flashing beneath his eyelids, and red glowing eyes burning in his mind, filling his soul with a sense of wholeness his life was lacking.

“Mine…” the male growled, “forever…”

Forever…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Ahhhh!” Izuku shot up in bed, drenched in the familiar sheen of sweat to the sound of a blaring alarm. “Fuck!” He groaned and dropped back down. Stupid alarm! But as amazing as these dreams were, they were seriously starting to drive him insane. His days were turning into endless cycles of unfulfilling work and fornication, work, and fornication— with a physical emptiness left in its wake.

As routine, he touched the painful spot on his neck expecting the same thing he’d endured for weeks— but this time, something wet and tacky hit his fingertips. “What the?”

Izuku scrambled to his bathroom, and there in the mirror— two fresh puncture wounds… a gasp broke free. “Oh, my god—”

That was the first time the dream blonde spoke to him. It’s deep raspy voice sending shivers through his body just thinking about it. But it was so embarrassing to walk into work with a large bandage on his neck to hide the wound! Lots of snickering and questions of who the lucky guy or girl must have been to mark him with a hickey. If only it had just been a hickey! All the other nights left the area tender for just a few minutes, and no evidence, but today the damn thing still throbbed. This was all becoming way too real for Izuku— and frankly, scared him a little. ‘Forever…’ The thought had even crossed his mind that someone was simply breaking in every night, but there was never any proof.

So, as he crawled into bed that Friday night, the throbbing spot on his neck a reminder, Izuku set his alarm to go off at 3am. If there was any truth to this nightly visitor, he was bound to catch him if could break free from the dream. This was it! He had to know what the hell was going on!

Izuku twisted in his bed, whimpering under the lustful gaze of his dream lover. “No, please…” he shivered as the long tongue teasingly flicked the tip of his over sensitized cock. His body was still coming down from a high that had left a sticky mess plastered all over his torso.

“Say it,” the husky voice demanded.

“Forever…” Izuku breathed out.

With a grunt, red eyes flashed, centered, and drove its cock all the way into Izuku. Growling, “forever mine,” as he leaned over to suckle the man’s mark with licks and tortured kisses. Each touch ignited the same soul-stealing connection that kept Izuku trapped and begging for more. Powerful hips rocked in measured cadence, filling the man over and over to finish what it’d started.

Izuku’s back arched and legs clamped around his lover’s waist, nails digging into the man’s shoulders as heat swirled and a familiar smoky scent grew in the room. He sensed his lover’s climax, could feel it coming like a sensor knowing a storm approached. Their connection… it felt so real… so good— different this time. Peaceful, no pain… “forever…” Izuku mewled as darkness overtook him.

The distant sounds of morning slowly crept into Izuku’s consciousness. Soft bird chirping, the muffled roar of cars on a nearby street. He moved to bury his face in his pillow to block the sunlight, shifting his body from its side to his stomach— only he couldn’t. Izuku’s eyes pop open as the awareness hit. He wasn’t alone. Without moving his head, his eyes looked down at what was around his waist and saw arms, hands— someone’s hands?! Wait! His alarm hadn’t gone off either!

He forced himself to shift so he could see who was spooned up behind him and found blonde hair. The neighbor?! Izuku screamed at the sleeping male. “What are you doing here?! How’d you get into my apartment?!”

“If you’re gonna wake up your mate, a good morning would’ve been nice.” Katsuki mumbled against Izuku’s back. “After all I’ve done for you.”

“Y-You? I, w-wait, the dreams, h-how?!”

“Shhh,” Katsuki clamped a hand over Izuku’s mouth. “Go back to sleep, talk when I’m up.”

“Maft?!” Izuku mumbled back.

“Forever, remember? I need more sleep, now shush.”

“I wilf nats sh— ahhh—”

A blinding white light hit Izuku’s mind again, followed with a dull ache in his neck as Katsuki’s mouth clamped over the mate mark on his neck. “Oh, my kami—”

“Now do you believe me?”

Izuku looked over again at Katsuki’s face and noticed the man’s eyes were glowing red and fang tips glinted from his mouth. “F-Forever?”

“Forever.”

It was all real, and yet somehow… maybe this wasn’t so bad after all...

[pyropsychiccollector]

What are your top five or ten favorite Makoto pairings?

Well, I suppose my "Top 5" can go without mentioning for the umpteenth time. I refer to them as the "Founders" for a reason. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So.... Let's keep it fun and go with the "Top Five" under them. Just for funsies. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1. NaeSonia

If you had the chance to date a foreign Princess, would you? She's got a lot on her shoulders in universes where the world didn't go to Hell, but one of the fun aspects of NaeSonia involves the reverse situation happening in the relationship - instead of taking Makoto to Novoselic to become the King, she settles for becoming an ordinary girl. That is one of the quirks of Sonia, she's royalty but she wants to experience....normalcy. And she got to achieve that dream at Hope's Peak (for the most part.....if you consider Ultimate classmates, senpai, kouhai, and Sensei's "normal*). Plus, Makoto is as normal as it gets, aside from base Hajime~ These two just have a great aesthetic and..... There's a lot to love. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2. Naegi x

I'm gonna be fair for this next one, rather than leave any of them out in the cold. If Makoto can get along with Sayaka and share a special bond, why stop there? Kasumi, Ayaka, Satomi, and Haruka are Sayaka's friends. Best friends. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And Sayaka's best friends and soulmate are their best friend and soulmate..... Right? That's how it works? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Heck, just imagine a universe where all of them attended Black Roots Junior High and each encountered Makoto in some fashion like Sayaka, and they developed a following for the selfless, adorable, Must Protect Egg. Talk about wholesome~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)👍

3. Naegi x Student Council

This’ll be the last time, I swear.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*** My knee jerk reaction is NaeTsubasa.... But let’s be fair~ The Student Council got the short end of the stick in canon. We’re lucky to have Vergilsama92 for breathing life into these one-off characters that, quite frankly, didn’t deserve the treatment they got (but then again, that’s par for the course in Danganronpa, isn’t it?). NaeTsubasa is wonderful.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) But so’s NaeSuzuko. NaeKaren. NaeAiko. NaeKiriko. And of course NaeKotomi. \  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) / Such a colorful Student Council. The Egg and the rest of the academy sure is Lucky and Blessed to be guided by such leadership~

4. Naegi x Kotoko

Kotoko is one of those tragic characters that we’re forced to “forever” be hostage to the pity that we feel for her canon counterpart’s childhood trauma, thanks to the Danganronpa community. This isn’t to say we can’t feel bad for that trauma, but why should we be so limited to who Kotoko is? Why can’t she be older? Why can’t she avoid a childhood of molestation and possible rape? Fanfiction in part exists to imagine New Possibilities, and who wouldn’t want to spare Kotoko that miserable fate?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Vergilsama92 outdid himself again with the Older Kotoko designs, and she’s been doing marvelous as the Ultimate Actress, and one of the addendums to Class 78 in the Hope Universe~ I hope to get around to musing on Kotoko, Monaca, and Ryoko being added to the roster in place of.... Yasuhiro.... (Apologies to Yasuhiro fans, but I am not among you, so if you like him...you might want to skip his name when he comes up in my blog; I seldom have good things to say about him, but that is MY preference, and should not stop you from enjoying him). Not only did she avoid a traumatic childhood, but like Sonia, Kotoko craves an ordinary life~ She’s a lot more casual about staying in showbusiness or leaving it for other ventures, and Makoto’s just such a nice guy.... y’know?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5. Naegi x Maki

I suppose in our final shoutout for now, let’s go with.... Tsun-Tsun Assassin-chan.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I tend to enjoy tsunderes, and Maki’s honestly a nice girl that’s rough around the edges because of living in an orphanage. Makoto brings her out of her shell, and gives her hope that she doesn’t have to remain a cold-blooded killer forever; she can use her skills to protect what’s important to her, instead. And honestly, it’s cute how she’ll butt heads with the other girls, and is like a little sister to Mukuro and Peko~ We need more girls full of fire like Maki.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) If it was peaceful all the time, how could we appreciate the peace? Sometimes the girls need to vent their frustrations with each other~ Such beautiful chemical reactions~ \ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) /

I would honestly go for a full Top 10, but I already wasted space at the beginning, and Tumblr only allows 10 pics per post. Besides~ I’d prefer dedicating that time to skits and pics. We must appreciate the minor ships while we can. Mainstream drowns us out so often, but we shall be H E A R D~  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[a-pretty-nerd]

Your Favorite Bastard Men As Parents

Shigaraki, Aizawa, Shinsou, and Amajiki x pregnant reader headcannons!

ALL CHARACTERS ARE OF 👏 LEGAL 👏 AGE 👏 18+

A/N: This was bound to happen. If you follow me, you know I have a breeding kink, and YOU KNOW I'm a slut for some good x pregnant!reader content! So here's a few hcs for my favorite boys!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

1. Shouta Aizawa

Initial Reaction:

"That can't be right."

Denial.

It wasn't planned. He never even planned on settling down with anyone, much less having his own kids!

It's a wonder how you even ended up with him in the first place!

He's not super upset, he's not angry or afraid. He's just in disbelief.

Truly he doesn't even believe its real till he sees a sonogram and you're starting to show.

Pregnancy:

Aizawas an all or nothing dude. Once he feels how real things are getting, he's all in.

He stays up late doing research, books, parenting blogs, birthing videos. You name it, he's looked into it.

He worries about you constantly. He calls you from work every chance he gets a break.

He makes you eat uber healthy, gross green smoothies, stinky teas, anything and everything good for you and the baby.

It becomes a habit for him to reach over and run his hands over your belly. It's soothing for him.

Fatherhood:

A+ Dad.

Turns out being used to not getting enough sleep is perfect for parenthood.

He feels bad he doesn't spend more time home, even if he's plenty home.

He doesn't always understand his kid, but he'll always support them.

Very patient.

Catch this man asleep in the rocking chair with the baby passed out on his bare chest.

Ugh, so sweet. ❤

2. Hitoshi Shinsou

Initial Reaction:

"You can't be serious."

He scares you at first. Not because he's mad but because he looks void of emotion at first.

He's not mad. Actually, he doesn't know how to feel at first.

I imagine you wouldn't be activley trying, but you weren't against the idea.

He holds you close when he realizes he's frightened you. He smiles and rubs your back.

"This is incredible. I love you so much."

Pregnancy:

He's 100% lost.

Suddenly, he knows nothing and he's trying his hardest to help you.

Really, he'll do almost anything you ask.

He'll even try your strange cravings with you. Turns out peanut butter pickle sandwhiches aren't all that bad!

Shinsou is a body worship kind of guy and when you get pregnant...omg be prepared.

He LOVES the way you grow. When your belly gets big, he can't keep his hands off you. Not that he could before, how do you think you got pregnant in the first place? Damn.

Fatherhood:

Again, he's very lost.

But he's so determined to be a good dad.

He's amazing once he gets the hang of it. Really, he's great.

He loves, loves, LOVES his baby. He comes home every day so excited to see them.

Annoys his coworkers with baby pictures.

Imagine Shinsou doing baby talk. ❤

3. Tamaki Amajiki

Initial Reaction:

"What? Really!? Are you sure!? You're sure you're sure!?"

Nervous wreck.

Even if you were trying, he'd be nervous. Overjoyed, but nervous.

What if something went wrong? What if something happened to him at work? What of he couldn't be there for you?

He's excited, but so scared.

What if he's not a good enough dad?

He starts to become a little overbearing.

Pregnancy:

He worries about you constantly.

If anything, I mean ANYTHING goes wrong, he starts to doomsday prep.

He's always so quick to get you to the dr, the hospital, the midwife, whatever.

He's obsessed with your body though. The way you look all round and plump and so perfect. He's in love all over again.

He cried when he first heard the baby's heartbeat. Like, "it's just so fast and l-little."

Tries to be there for everything. Every dr appointment, every couples class, all of it.

He becomes a hermit. He doesn't wanna go anywhere or do anything. He just wants you, him, and the baby home and safe.

Fatherhood:

He cried so hard when he first held them.

So nervous but so determined.

He just wants to be a good dad so bad.

He's a bit of a push over. He spoils them rotten.

Cant stand to hear the baby cry. He rushes over even at the sound of fussing.

Gets to the crib faster than you most of the time.

He loves to sit in the rocking chair and feed the baby. Its very calming and it makes him feel like a good dad. ❤

4. Tomura Shigaraki

Initial Reaction:

"...What?"

Fear. Absolute utter terror.

He's petrified the moment the words, "I'm pregnant" leave your lips.

He's very quiet, his movements are slow, he looks calm, but he's shaking.

He doesn't know what to do or what to say.

He loves you, he truly does. You're the first person he truly respects and trusts and cares about. So why is he so afraid?

He doesn't know the first thing about babies, and becoming a father, the very figure he struggles with most, shakes him to his very core.

Pregnancy:

At first, he goes through the stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, but finally, he accepts.

He hides you away when you start to show. If anything were to happen, he needs to know the two of you would be safe. He visits, often, almost everyday. But he doesn't live with you.

There's apart of him that wants this. Wants the normalcy or a family. He wants a chance to redeem himself.

To be good at heart. He takes very good care of you. He's very specific about hiding the pregnancy from others.

At this rate he's the leader of an army, a movement, he can't risk you being involved in that anymore.

He loves being able to care for you. Something in him loves being so sweet and kind just for you. You're the only one he could ever love and trust this much.

Fatherhood:

When he first saw them, something snapped in him. Something so small and precious, he helped make that? Half of that, is him?

But they're so...perfect?

Even though he has full control of his decaying quirk at this point, he's afraid to hold the baby.

So for a while he'll only hold them close to his chest, tucked into his arm. He balls his hands into fists to be sure he doesn't touch them.

He's in shock and disbelief because he can't believe the baby is so perfect. At first he's convinced something is wrong with them. But as time goes on, he's reassured, they're fine.

He's constantly thinking about them. Constantly wanting to make them happy, to ease their crying, to soothe them.

It's heartwarming to watch him read to the baby. He reads to them, every night. ❤

[buckyownsmylife]

Secret Door: the one where there's a dinner date and some innuendo

President James Buchanan Barnes is the first president to occupy the White House without a first lady ever since… well, President James Buchanan Barnes. But he’s not too worried about it, since he got his best friend from college acting as his VP, supporting him just like only someone who knew everything about him could do. What happens when feelings from the past start to resurface?

Or the one where you and Bucky used to date but now you got a country to run.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Thank you so much for having dinner with me tonight, doll.” I rested my fork on the plate to reach for his hand, squeezing it tightly as I finished chewing.

“You know you can always count on me, Buck.” The way he looked up at me from under his eyelashes made me feel conflicted - because that’s what he looked like too. Stuck between pain and gratitude, I didn’t want to tap into what could be causing both of those emotions because I knew I’d be able to identify it, and he deserved at least a little bit of privacy.

If he wanted to let me know, he’d tell me.

“Sometimes I feel like you’re the only one I can truly count on.” The way he said it, almost defeated, pulled at my heartstrings until I couldn’t take it anymore. Smiling softly, I rubbed my thumbs on the inside of the wrist I held.

“Is that such a bad thing?” Immediately, his head was shaking.

“Not at all. It’s good to know I can count on you. It makes me happy.” I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just kept smiling and rubbing his wrist, waiting for more because I knew that wasn’t the end of it.

“Tell me what is really bothering you,” I pressed, anxious to know so I could make him feel better. Even after all this time, all I wanted was to make him feel better, make him smile like the twenty-something boy I used to know him as.

Bucky sighed, fingers running through his hair as he avoided my eyes, but kept his hand in mine. He was finding the courage to speak, I knew that. Eventually, he stopped looking to the side and met my gaze again.

“What if I’m not enough?” It was a question I’d heard multiple times, and that I knew prompted different answers every time. Tonight, I had an inkling as to what he was referring to, but I needed to be sure of it so I could be of any help. “I knew it was going to be hard, now that I’m here I fear I’m going to fail at every turn.”

His beautiful blue eyes sparkled as he confessed what was on his mind, “I don’t want to be a failure.”

“James, pay attention to what I’m going to say.” I didn’t leave any time for him to stew in the difficult words he admitted, wanting to cut the seed of doubt right as it began to flourish. “James, you are not your job.”

He let out a breath that clearly indicated just how much he was keeping inside until that moment, relief finally within his reach at my reminder, so I continued, “The next three years are going to be hard, but if there’s anyone who can do this, that person is you.”

I allowed those words to settle over him like a thick warm blanket of comfort. I liked to think of myself as that blanket for him, and nothing ever made me happier than when I was able to make him feel better.

But it was late, and dinner was over already. So, with one last smile, I squeezed his arm and started to push my chair back so I could get up. James, however, didn’t seem to catch on to my intention (or agree with it) because he took advantage of the connection between out limbs to keep me close.

“Hey, remember how we always wanted to go to Italy?” My eyebrows were furrowed in confusion at his random question, but I smiled at the memory. It was our last year in college, so many plans were made then - plans that disappeared as graduation day approached and I was holding another man’s hand by the end of it.

“Yes, I do.” I’m sure my smile denounced my guilt, even though I knew I’d done nothing wrong. Bucky had been the one to break up with me. I was free to date whomever I wanted, and that’s what I did - even if no one had ever gotten anywhere near the space the man in front of me occupied in my heart.

“We should do that again, once this is all over.” I didn’t remind him that we’d probably be visiting Italy together very soon, in one of our formal encounters with the president of the foreign country. I didn’t remind him because I understood what he meant.

There was something fundamentally different between a work trip as heads of state and a road trip with your best friend.

“Sure.” I smiled, squeezing his hand in the hopes that he’d let me go now. “Let’s do that.” It’s not that I didn’t appreciate his company - he was my favorite person in the entire world - but being alone with him in the dead of night roused some dangerous feelings within me, feelings that I was only really able to keep at bay when the sun high in the sky.

“I should really go now,” I insisted, giggling softly at how he was still trying to keep me close while I slowly made my way to the door. Behind me, he huffed, prompting me to turn around and meet his eyes once more.

“Fine,” he relented, but when he crossed his arms over his chest, I already knew there was a catch. “Will you come and work out with me tomorrow morning?” I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me at his invitation.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I’d been trying to get her to train with me for ages now. Back in college we used to go on runs together, and well… on the evenings, we used to have other ways to burn off some calories.

But she wasn’t big on lifting weights, I knew that. Still, I kept insisting, hoping one day I’d have the pleasure of waking up and feel eager to leave the bed because I knew she’d be waiting for me at the gym.

“You know how much I hate exercising.” She shook her head, giggling, and the wine had gotten to my head, I knew. But it only messed with what was already there - intensifying it, deepening it.

“I remember some physical exercises you liked to do with me.” My voice had dropped a few tones. It had been ages since I used it on her and I was excited to see that it still affected her greatly.

I knew it in my soul. I knew - she still belonged to me. And I think she knew it too, but we were both too scared to take that next step, considering everything that had changed since we were last together.

We weren’t college students anymore. We were in charge of a nation. But I was tired of being scared and most of all - I was tired of being without her.

My eyes were heavy-lidded as I took in the way she was breathing through her mouth. I anticipated her frustration coming through at any second, and sure enough, “You can’t just say stuff like that!”, she complained. But I only chuckled, pressing her against the wall of the dining room, nuzzling her cheek so I could breathe her in.

“Anything to get you to stay a little longer.” I loved the way her skin became covered in goosebumps when my thigh settled between her legs, pressing against her cunt. “You’re the only thing that makes me truly happy these days,” I sighed.

I think it justified the way I craved her so deeply. She was the one sense of normalcy I had in my life, and even when she tried to hold herself back from me, it all took me right back to our college days and how long it took her to cave and go out on a date with me in the first place.

“Do you know how lonely it gets? Waking up every morning without someone to share this burden with?” I confided, rubbing circles on her hips while I tried to get her to look me in the eye again. “I can understand why most presidents had a first lady by their side. I envy them.”

Brushing her hair away from her face, I took in the sight of her with her lips parted, eyelids heavy with desire. How long had it been since I’d seen her like this? Just staring at her made me hot.

“Don’t look at me like that!” She admonished, having realized how I was undressing her with my eyes. A chuckle was all I could offer as a response, as she adjusted herself on my leg to offer, “You know you can share it with me. I’m your vice-president, that’s what I’m here for.”

But I shook my head almost immediately. “It’s not the same,” I whispered, caressing her cheek, eyes never leaving hers for even a second. “You know it’s not the same. If I could have you with me all the time…”

I couldn’t even deal with the possibility, so I just shoved it aside to favor my reality, leaning down to connect our lips for the first time in decades.

“James…” She sighed when we parted, while I rubbed my chapped lips against the soft skin of her shoulder. I knew this was dangerous territory. I knew it.

“Shh…” Tucking my hands beneath her skirt, I rubbed the outside of her thighs, relishing in the feeling of her muscles melting at my pawing. I wanted to distract her from the rational so she could focus on the instinctive calling there was between us, from the day we met.

She’d enchanted me right then, with a single smile, and whatever spell she put on me was nowhere near fading. I, on the other hand, was tired of fighting it.

“Having a hard time controlling your hands, huh?” She teased when I finally reached her ass, massaging it excitedly, using my grip to rub her against my thigh.

“You know they have a mind of their own when it comes to you,” I smirked, kissing her shoulder as I left it to connect our lips again. “One more time, darling,” I begged just as soon as we were forced to part to catch our breaths. “We were so good at it, remember?”

The laugh she let escape brought hope to my heart because it sounded far breathier than her usual chuckles of amusement.

“We have to keep practicing,” I insisted, kissing along her jaw as I kept proposing, “so we won’t forget how to bring each other pleasure… should we ever need it again.”

My muscles were straining in the effort to hold back from her, but I could see my gentle advances were paying out. She was the one rocking her hips along my thigh to get some friction, the hand clasping my shoulder seeming to want to both push me away and pull me closer.

“One more time,” I repeated, right over her ear, running my hands up her body, hoping to see her cave. “Just let me fuck you one more time…”

[lizziethebibrid]

Requested by @thebadassgaysquad: argument leading to kissing

ao3 link here

new prompt list here

(Is Ben immortal? Is he not? I started writing this before 4x19 aired so here at least he is😂)

It’d be fair to say Ben fell for Jed fast. He didn’t personally believe it was that fast, not when he’d spent thousands of years on this Earth just alone and existing. Not when he’d never allowed himself to get close to anyone because what was even the point? He couldn’t explain his life and he couldn’t ask anyone to just… exist alongside him.

Why get close to people if his curse was just gonna end up hurting them too?

The Salvatore school had been different. Jed had been different. And he’d been the only reason why he’d found a new home.

And now, five years out of school, living a… relatively normal life that didn’t include gods and monsters, Ben could actually say he felt at home. He craved the normalcy, even the mundane of everyday life and he couldn’t wait to spend it with his new friends. His boyfriend.

Which really begged the question, how had they gotten here?

Life had been good, it’d been great and now suddenly… Everything was falling apart.

“Okay, can you give me like an hour?” Finch asked over the phone. “I’m sure I can fix this.”

“Really?” Ben asked, not sure if he was hopeful or already pessimistic about it. He wasn't known for being an optimist.

“I mean, I can’t fix you two, you should probably sit down and talk, but I can definitely get him out of my couch,” she said. “It’s a step towards the right direction.”

“Right,” Ben said, settling for not really hopeful. “Can you just tell him this whole thing is stupid?”

“I can, but honestly, he wouldn’t believe me, I don’t believe it and I doubt you believe it yourself too,” she said. “Just one hour. Trust me, he’ll be knocking on your door. Or opening it, he has keys. You know what I mean.”

“And if not?” Ben questioned.

“Have some faith, demigod,” she answered, a little smile in her voice. It was enough to leave Ben slightly more optimistic than before.

The whole fight had been over nothing. But then it’d escalated. And he didn’t want to admit it but he was just as scared of certain things as Jed was. Well, not exactly the same things, but he knew the feeling. He just… didn’t think they’d have to talk about it now. Not when they have so much time together.

Finite time. But still.

He waited eagerly for the time to go by, torn between wanting Jed to come back and knowing they’d actually have to talk if he did. And he’d presumably have to say something good enough to make his worries go away. Only he had no idea what that could be when he had worries of his own. They knew what they were getting into, they just… didn’t want to think that far ahead.

And they never had time to think that far ahead, not with their world crumbling around them. Not with monsters after them, gods coming to fight them, the school in danger more often than not. It didn’t give them time to think about the future and that was supposed to be a bad thing because Ben wanted a future with Jed, but now that they actually had to time to stop and breathe, time to realize that they were actually heading somewhere, that they weren’t in danger every single moment of their lives…

They were starting to realize that their lifespans looked entirely different. And that was a tough pill for anyone to swallow.

Yes, the fight had started from something stupid, but the more Ben thought about it, the more he realized it was unavoidable. They had to talk about it at some point. Even if they didn’t know what to say.

Even though he was waiting for Jed, the knock on the door still startled him out of his thoughts. Throwing a quick glance at the time he was actually impressed to find it’d been 55 minutes ever since he’d hung up the phone. Finch was scarily good at this.

He rushed to the door - all while trying to actually look like he hadn’t rushed to the door - and opened it. Jed was standing on the other side looking serious and pretty much like he’d prefer to be back at Finch’s couch instead of at their apartment. Well, that was a punch in the gut.

“Can I come in?” Jed asked. Like this wasn’t his home too and he could do whatever he wanted.

Ben stepped to the side, allowing him to enter and closed the door behind him. The fact that he was there was a good first step, they could actually talk about this.

Jed sighed, looking away from Ben, just staring at the wall, until he turned back around to face him. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“That we can talk about this? Discuss it without blowing up?” Ben said.

“We discussed-”

“That was not a discussion by any means,” Ben cut him off. “I know this is a sensitive issue-”

Jed snorted. “Kind of downplaying the whole situation…” he said.

“What do you want me to say, Jed?” Ben sighed, trying not to lose his patience this time. “It’s not like we didn’t know what we were walking into. I’ve died more times than I can count, but I’m immortal, you knew that.”

“And I am not,” Jed stated. “You’re just fine with that?”

“Of course I’m not fine with the prospect of losing you one day, but there’s no point spending our whole time together thinking about that! We’re talking about one day. Far away future. We can’t let it disrupt our present. We shouldn’t,” he said, taking a step closer.

“How can we not, Ben?” Jed raised his voice once again and just like that Ben knew they were just going to get sucked into the same argument once again. One they didn’t have an answer or solution for rather than just let things be.

“Because we can’t worry about what might happen in the future!” he insisted.

“Easy to say when you know you have one,” Jed retorted.

“Why are we even fighting about this, things have been fine!” Ben wondered.

“Yes, things are fine now. What happens in twenty years? Thirty?” he asked.

“Who knows?” Ben said. “Could you really have guessed the past few years? You didn’t even know gods were real until I showed up! We’re part of the supernatural world, pretty much everything is possible!” he tried to reason with him. “And even if it’s not, do you really want to spend our time together arguing about it?”

Jed didn’t look convinced and to be honest, Ben didn’t know what else he could say to convince him. They both knew one day they’d have to say goodbye. But when that day was just so far away… Why ruin the moments they could have together?

“Maybe it’d just be easier if we broke up now. Save ourselves the heartbreak,” Jed said.

The words came as a slap across Ben’s face. He didn’t know what to answer to that, he didn’t want to answer anything, he could barely understand how they’d gotten there.

“You don’t mean that,” was all he could whisper.

Jed sighed, a hand rubbing his face. “I don’t mean that,” he said, dropping on the couch. “I don’t know what to do.”

Ben moved to sit down next to him, trying to make sure whatever he said next was reassuring enough to not send them both into another spiral. “I know you’re scared and I understand, of course I do, but you can’t know how things are going to turn out.”

“I know that I’m eventually going to die one day. No matter what we say,” Jed said.

“We’re all going to die one day, that’s just how it works. Nature finds loopholes, you know that. Even Hope can be taken down,” Ben protested.

“Can you please not act like you don’t understand?” Jed turned to look at him. “Why would you even want to put yourself through that?”

“Because I love you?” Ben was the one to raise his voice this time. Why couldn’t he get it through his head? “Because spending a few years with you in the prospect of an eternity is a thousand times better than losing you because of a possible bad future? Are those good enough reasons for you?”

Jed stared back at him for a couple of seconds, his gaze almost longing, reminding Ben of that night at the Old Mill. Back when they were still figuring out what they meant to each other. Back to their first ki-

His train of thought was interrupted by Jed swooping in and kissing him once again. Much like he’d had that night. Like Ben would disappear if he didn’t. Like it was the exact thing he’d been wanting, but denying himself all the same.

He was also the first to pull back, Ben absentmindedly following after him.

“What was that for?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“An apology?” Jed answered quietly. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry, I just-”

“It’s okay,” Ben tried to say.

Jed shook his head. “It’s not okay,” he said, falling into him. “So many of our friends are immortal, I should be used to this.”

“I doubt it’s quite the same,” Ben argued, wrapping his arms around him. “Unless you’ve been dating any of them and forgot to tell me,” he added with a little smile.

“No, just you,” Jed murmured against him, making his smile wider.

“Then I guess it makes sense that we both might need some time to adjust to certain things,” he said. “But we can do that together. At least I’d like that.”

Jed looked up at him. “I’d like that too.”

It would certainly not be the last time they talked about it, but as long as they actually tried to figure everything out together… Ben wasn’t so scared about their future.

[marshmallowprotection]

I'm playing through Saeran's AE again and that one VN with Jumin and his dad...immediate RAGE

"How interesting. You actually sound like a human." YOUR SON IS GOING THROUGH A HUGE CRISIS, FEELING SO MANY DIFFERENT EMOTIONS BUT TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THINGS AND STAY STRONG FOR HIS FRIENDS, AND YOU SAY THIS TO HIM?!?

...There are several people I want to fight in the AE, but currently it's the Chairman 😡

~Hearts Anon

Don't even get me started. I feel like I've ranted about this before but his father is really a sorry excuse for Dad. Just because he's there for him in some ways does not mean that he's not a bad dad.

Jumin desperately craves normalcy and a part of the reason why he tries to stay so close to his father in the first place. It's because he's holding on to the idea that he'll be able to have a family and he won't feel so isolated. Family means so much to him because he wishes that he had one. He clings onto what he was given because it's all he's ever known. He wants so badly to have a family, a normal life and a loving family. 

Yet his father has never been there for him in the way that a father should be. He's never quite supported Jumin properly. Yes, he makes sure Jumin goes to school, is clothed, is fed, an is given whatever he needs. But that doesn’t mean he’s meeting Jumin’s emotional needs.

He is always going against his wishes and trying to set him up with people when he stated explicitly that he's not interested in that right now and he’d rather not be dealing with that. His father is constantly overstepping boundaries. He won’t listen to his son. That’s wrong.

And, the fact that his father speaks to him like he's a robot like everyone else in his life does, is just salt in the wound. You would pray that at the end of the day, his father wouldn't think of him in that way, but he does feel that way. It's horrible to think of it like that. Jumin loves his father as a concept and understands that he has what he has. But his father, no matter how he cares, does his son a poor job throughout his life and this failure should grind your gears.

I just can’t believe this man. He clearly loves Jumin but sometimes it feels like he loves the concept of Jumin instead of Jumin. His father doesn’t even know his son that loves to read into the occult, his love for cats and their care in this life, his interests beyond what he does in work, and God, so much more. Just because his dad is never doesn’t mean his dad does a good job. I don’t have a lot of faith in it. I think Jumin gave up on that a long time ago.

[flaminpumpkin]

So it's not a full on essay like I said I would write earlier bit I still put my thoughts in order enough for it to have a sense.

Ok, so I kinda already said this on Twitter but I want to say it here too without a character limit but Damian reading shojo manga is precious and actually not as out of character as many people think. (At the very least, in my opinion.)

I don't know if anyone already said this and if they did, it's probably a lot more articulate than what I'm about to write but bear with me for a second.

Damian has only ever known hardship, for most of his life. He was raised as the heir of Ras Al Ghul, as the future head of the League of assassins. He was trained from the youngest age to fight, to kill. And even if when he joined his father and became Robin, killing was forbidden, fighting was still a big part of his life. He went on missions and adventures, fought against many foes, some of them god-like, some after his life. He witnessed magic. He faced death so many times, so much that it caught up to him at some point and he did perish. 

And all this at barely 10, 11, 12, 13 years old.

So why. Why would he want to read about kids/teenagers fighting monsters? About dystopian, ugly, distorted worlds? About epic adventures?

It’s already his life after all, have been since the day he was born. Why would he want to read about his own life? Even if it’s not him the authors talk about in their stories, it still hits too close to home. 

That’s where Damian foregoing the epic stories and going straight for slice-of-life stuff makes sense to me. He’s been deprived of that from the youngest age. There was no time for teenage romance or silly middle school kids shenanigans in the life of Damian Al Ghul-Wayne.

So he reads it for the same reasons some reads adventure stories. Because it’s a fantasy, because it’s something they’ll never get to experience in their lives. Damian reads about teens in love, slice-of-life stories because they are mundane, they happen every day, to every day people. From my point of view, he craves this mundanity deep down, this normalcy of the life of a nameless teenager. It’s comforting to him to read about it. It’s a safe, once again mundane, normal little cocoon where life is uneventful. It’s something that, as a vigilante and because of his family on both sides, he will never really get to experience. Of course, there are instances of the batfam doing every day, boring stuff. But it will forever be tainted by his way of life. He can’t have that innocence back, no matter how hard he tries, if he ever even wants to which, I don’t think he would because deep down, he’s still the realistic type. 

But since he can’t have it, he reads about it. Since he can’t live in it, he makes himself a little niche where it’s him, himself and his shojo manga. Look at how he is when he reads it. He’s got his hood on, as if to protect himself from what’s outside so he can enjoy this little moment of peace, of fantasy, of comfort. 

So yeah, it might be far-fetched or make no sense at all to some, but this is why Damian’s reading preference are not out of character to me. But anyway, these are just personal, subjective thoughts from my bad-at-analyzing-stuff brain, don’t take my interpretation personally if it doesn’t fit yours please.