#why are you going into peoples post just to tell them they like the wrong things about a show

[arilevenatz]

Chasing Shadows

Pairing: popular guy!yeosang x chubby!fem!reader

Genre: Angst (?), fluff

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: kinda frat boy yeosang, him and his friends are handsome (yes that's a warning), reader has anxiety, she is also insecure, anxiety attacks, yeo is cheeky, like really cheeky, you might wanna flick him a bit, bestfriend! San and wooyoung, suicide mentioned, lmk if I missed any!!

AN: y'all bear with me this is my first time posting on Tumblr, I'm still figuring out stuff. I had a dream about this and I decided that I'm gonna write a yeo fic. And also please reblog and like, so I can get more motivated!!

Yeosang was a quiet and smart guy in the class. He used to talk only when spoken to. Except his little friend group, well maybe not so little. All the students seem to respect him of some sort. He and his group almost seemed, untouchable. Not like they were the popular group or something. Neither were they hostile. They were just really handsome. The whole group looked like they walked out of a movie set of a kdrama.

You were not new to this. But not particularly known as well. Honestly you didn't care. You stopped caring since high school. The only thing you knew about him was that he was a guy from a group.....and he was good at maths. You were a normal student, yes, maybe you scored the top score in Psychology in your college anyone has ever had, but that's just irrelevant right? In the end, nobody cares.

But you were wrong, he cares. So much so that he came and sat beside you in English class. Not particularly unlikely for someone to sit beside you. You usually didn't even care. But he isn't just somebody. He is the Yeosang. The same guy that all the girls swooned over just cuz he showed his birthmark. What's so impressive about birthmarks anyway? It's just a mark.

At first, you didn't care. But then it started to repeat. Everyday he would come and sit beside you (cause language classes were mandatory everyday) and heck you were not liking the attention you were getting.

"Hey, you should not get close to yeosang or anyone in their group. I heard they are gangsters" "I heard they are no good" "They are in a satanic cult where they sell their souls to the devil to live for eternity!!"

Yeah needless to say people had some crazy rumours about them. You? you didn't care. And also who the fuck would sell their soul to live forever. You'd rather do that to die painlessly, cause life. But for some reason, they seem to keep their distance from the group but admire them from afar. Almost as if they are scared of them.

Anyway people are quick to come to conclusions. But you were not like that. You were annoyed. Like why the fuck you sitting next to me dude go away. But of course you're an unproud introvert. You can't just tell him to leave that's rude. So you did the next best thing. Just sit somewhere else. If he really liked that seat, he could have his nook. You're gonna go and distance yourself. Not cause you are scared of him, but you know just to be careful. (Keep gaslighting yourself queen)

Yeosang walks into the classroom and scans the big room, his eyes narrowing as he doesn't see you in your usual seat. His headphones in he hesitantly approaches the desk where you're now sitting and pulls out the chair beside you, sitting down heavily. You mentally slap your forehead. This really is helping your reputation.

Yeosang looks at you with a raised eyebrow, clearly confused. He glances around the room, noticing the other students staring at you both. After a moment of silence, he turns back to you and notices your ears are red. He asks in a low tone, "What's going on? Why are you sitting somewhere else today?" Wow he's talking to me now

Yeosang gaze stills, and he leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're avoiding me because of what people are saying about me, isn't it?" His voice is deep, but oddly quiet. It was something you've never heard before. And you couldn't pinpoint his emotions.

"Well kinda. But that doesn't mean I actually believe them. I just don't like people." You say thinking you weirded him out and hoping he'll leave you alone assuming you're an antisocial animal.

A flicker of something passes through Yeosang's eyes at your blunt response. He uncrosses his arms and leans forward, his elbows resting on the desk. "I get it. You don't trust easily. Neither do I." He pauses, considering his words carefully. Bro stop talking to me ?!

You don't react to his words and just look at the front. Your whole face feels warm. It's that feeling you get when you're embarrassed. Feeling everyone's eyes on you. You felt anxious, thinking everyone was judging you. You hate this feeling. You felt exposed to everyone. Even though they don't give two shits about you. It's that bubbling feeling inside the pit of your stomach. The heaviness in your chest. That shakiness in your hands and legs. You really felt like it would be nice if the floor split in half and eat you alive.

The class finish and you quickly pack up and leave, avoiding him again. Yeosang watches you rush out the door without a backward glance. His looks at your leaving figure with a thoughtful expression. The next day, he arrives early to claim the seat next to you again, determined to break through your walls.

As the class enters, Yeosang is already seated in your usual spot, his arms crossed and pen spinning in his hand. His presence seems to command the attention of the room, but he pays no mind to the whispers or curious glances directed at him. Instead, his focus is fixed on the doorway, waiting for your arrival. When you finally enter, he notices how you hesitate at the sight of him already occupying your seat. It was then when he looked down and started to scribble something in his notebook. You try to skip the vacant seat beside him and go further behind but he reaches out and grabs your backpack, pulling it onto the empty seat beside him. He continues to write, his pen scratching against the paper in a steady rhythm. After a moment, he glances up and meets your gaze, his expression unreadable. "You're late".

You sit down quietly, take off your glasses and rub your face, ignoring him. Here we go again, I'm tired of this shit.. What does a girl do to have some peace? Witnessing your frustration, a slight smile appears on his lips as he reaches for your glasses. "Hey," he says in a low voice, just audible enough for you to hear. His fingers brush against yours as he takes the glasses from your hand, then deliberately places them back on your face, adjusting them slightly. "Wear them"

The teacher comes in and starts to teach. You sit there, staring blankly at the teacher writing on the board, but your mind is elsewhere. You replay the moment he adjusted your glasses, trying to read into his expression. You begin to imagine that he looked disgusted, that he must think you're hideous without your glasses on. You can't help but feel self-conscious. You catch yourself unconsciously touching your glasses, as if to double-check they're still there. You imagine him whispering to his friends about how ugly you look without them, how he's only sitting next to you as a joke. You felt yourself picking at your finger nails, your legs bouncing up and down continuously with the approaching thoughts.

During a brief moment when the teacher turns away to write on the board, Yeosang leans in closer to you. His voice is low and barely audible, "Stop picking at your nails, it's distracting" He says it bluntly, without any real malice, before returning his attention to the lecture.

"Im sorry" you apologise quietly. Wait why the fuck did I apologise, I did nothing wrong.

Over the next few days, a pattern emerges. Yeosang continues to sit next to you in class, trying to engage in conversation, but you always find a way to shut him down or quickly change the subject. He notices that you avoid him between classes, always taking a different route. You think it's working, driving him away slowly. Maybe he'll realise you really are weird and will leave you alone. But something quite opposite happens.

Yeosang starts to get frustrated with the constant rebuffs. He can't understand why you're so hostile towards him, especially since he's trying to be friendly. One day, as you're walking down the hallway, he blocks your path, forcing you to stop and look at him. "What's your problem?"

"What is your problem?" You say, as he blocks your path with his body. "My problem? You're the one who's been acting like I've got a disease every time I try to talk to you." You open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. "You're always shutting me down, avoiding me, and picking at those damn nails of yours. It's like you can't stand my presence."

You look down, sighing loudly and look up to him. "Then take the damn sign man, I don't wanna talk to you or engage in any activity that involves you" yeah that'll do, that gotta be the most rude thing you say to anyone, that'll definitely shoo him off. But again, the universe says fuck you and the opposite happens. Yeosang's eyes widen in surprise at your blunt words. For a moment, he stares at you, his expression unreadable. Then, unexpectedly, he bursts into laughter - a deep, genuine sound that echoes through the hallway. This fucker-

"What's so funny?" you ask, clearly embarrassed. Yeosang continues to laugh, his shoulders shaking as he looks you up and down. When he finally composes himself, he wipes tears from his eyes and says, "Damn, I like you even more now. You're fucking hilarious. Alright, fine, I'll take the sign."

He did not take the sign. Yes he did stop directly talking to me, but he won't actually leave me alone. He is still in the shadows. He stopped sitting beside me but went behind me. He stopped walking with me but started following me around.

Yeosang finds your stubborn refusal to engage endearing rather than frustrating. Instead of backing off as you hoped, he shifts tactics. He maintains a subtle presence in your peripheral vision. You catch glimpses of him behind you in class, always watching. At lunch one day, yeosang casually sits at the table next to yours with a group of his friends. He doesn't look at you directly, but you can feel his eyes flicking in your direction

Yeosang's friends chat with him, but he only half-listens, his attention constantly drifting to you. He murmurs something to them, and they glance over at you, exchanging curious looks. His friend, wooyoung asks him "yo man, how's your pursuing that girl going?" Another guy, San, says "I don't know if you can call it pursuing dawg, all he does is follow the girl around the college like a creep." Wooyoung pops a cookie in his mouth and says "Damn man, I didn't know you were like this"

"Shut up about her." His tone is casual, but there's an edge to it - protectiveness almost. He keeps his voice low enough that only they can hear, "She's... different. Fuck, I don't know why, but she's got me twisted up." Wooyoung grins mischievously, "Ah ha! You're falling for her aren't you? You're actually trying to chase a girl who isn't subtly throwing herself at you." He laughs, nudging yeosang's arm. "But that's not really gonna work is it? you need to fucking commit to it"

Yeosang's expression darkens slightly, his eyes narrowing. He takes a swig of his soda before responding, "What do you suggest then, genius? You think I should just walk up to her and...?" He leaves the sentence hanging, waiting for Wooyoung's input. "Yes, you should" San says without missing a beat. San's straightforward approach makes him smirk, but a flash of uncertainty crosses his face. "And what if she..." He pauses, running a hand through his styled hair "... what if she thinks I'm weird?" His eyes shift in your direction for a brief moment before focusing back on his friends. "Bruh, the way you've been acting all these days, she probably already thinks of you like that by now"

Yeosang scoffs, shaking his head disbelievingly. "Fuck, when you put it like that..." He leans back in his chair, crossing his muscular arms over his chest, his silver chain catching the light. "Maybe it's time to switch things up then."

The library is large and quiet, with tall bookshelves filling the room. The shelves are packed with books of all colors. Sunlight shines through colorful windows, making pretty patterns on the floor. A few students sit quietly, reading or studying. It's a peaceful place to think and learn. As you enter the library, the usual silence is interrupted only by the rustling of pages and the occasional whisper. You find a quiet corner to sit down and start reading. After a few minutes, you hear footsteps approaching. You don't pay much attention, assuming it's just another student.

You felt them sit down across from you. Your body tenses slightly as you notice the movement, causing you to glance up from your book. Through your peripheral vision, you catch sight of the person who just sat down across from you - it's him again. It's been weeks since he has been silently following you around, but now he approached you again.

His presence looms oddly, a juxtaposition in this sanctum of silence. He gazes at you, an unreadable expression on his chiseled face, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the cover of a thick tome he's brought with him. "Hey." You answered him silently "hey...." He leans forward slightly, the movement causing the leather of his jacket to creak softly. "Look... I know you probably think I'm being kinda creepy and shit..." He runs a hand through his messy dark hair, looking uncomfortable for once, unlike his usual composed demeanor.

He takes a deep breath, as if gathering his thoughts. "I just... I wanted to talk to you, ya know? You're different from the other girls at school. You're always so... quiet, so focused on your books."

"You're so different, you're the most unique girl I've ever met. You're my type, are you gonna say this? All those lame shit people say in movies? Please stop mocking me" His expression freezes for a moment, caught off guard by your blunt response. Then, to your surprise, he lets out a low, genuine laugh. "Shit, you're right. That was cheesy as hell." He shakes his head, a small smirk playing on his lips. You were listening to him. But something inside you stirred and you felt angry. You remembered all those times those people in middle and high school bullied you. All those times you felt that every time you entered the room, everyone looked at your body and you felt insecure. All those times your family members indirectly forced you to believe that you can only be loved when you lose weight. And you snapped. "stop mocking me. I know people like you. you guys go up to girls like me and say you like them only to say 'April fools' or say 'its a dare' later. I hate guys like you"

His grin fades, his expression turning serious, but his eyes still hold a glint of mischief. "You really think that's what I'm doing?" He tilts his head to the side, studying your face intently. He maintains eye contact, his expression unreadable. He sees the suspicion in your eyes, and it only seems to fuel his mischievous glint. He leans forward, his voice lowering. "Let me ask you something..." He studies your face intently, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "First off... do I look like I have a problem finding girls to talk to?" He gestures to himself, a hint of pride in his tone. "And second..." His voice drops lower as he deliberately maintains eye contact. "Second what?" You shout.

"No shouting in the library student!" The librarian warned you. You sit back down embarrassed and all red.

He laughs a little and says "Second, would I really waste my time pretending to like someone just to play an April Fool's prank?" His words send a shiver down your spine as he pulls back, his eyes never leaving yours. "Or maybe..." He looks at you with a half-smirk, half-serious expression "You're actually quite... interesting. Not many people stand up to me like you do." His eyes crinkle again as he studies your reaction "And hey..." He reaches over and lightly taps your finger. You retreat your hand from his touch. His expression shifts to a playful pout, though his eyes still hold a glint of amusement "Wow, so I'm not even worthy of a tiny hand tap?" You shake your head as a 'No'. He leans back in his chair, studying your defensive posture with interest "You're not scared of me, are you?" He chuckles low in his throat, his gaze never leaving yours even though you fail to keep eye contact, "listen, can I not just like you? I like you. I want to be with you"

"No! people don't simply like girls like me" you felt like crying, but you can't. His expression turns mockingly serious, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Oh, so you're saying you're not likeable? You think I can't like you because you're... what?" He crosses his arms, leaning forward again, his curiosity piqued. You were getting annoyed.

"You know what I am"

"No I don't"

"Fuck. Fine! Im fat and ugly"

His face freezes and for a moment, he looks genuinely shocked. But then, he lets out a harsh laugh. "Fat and ugly? He shakes his head, his gaze raking over your form appraisingly. "You really think that's what I see when I look at you?"

"You don't need to look at me like that, I am like that so fuck off I don't need you laughing at my face."

You stand up harshly, take your bag and walk outside the library. He follows you and grabs your upper arm, not harshly but firmly enough to hold your attention. "Listen carefully..." His voice softens, losing its usual mocking tone. "I'm not some creep who goes around lying to get in girls' pants." You open your mouth to say something but he quickly shuts you off. "You know what I see when I look at you? I see someone who's honest, even if it hurts. I see someone who's strong, even when they feel weak. And I see someone who's fucking beautiful, inside and out."

"Everyone says that but that's actually never true!"

"Then tell me, what do you see when you look in the mirror? Because whoever made you believe these lies about yourself? That person's fucking blind."

"Im not about to start talking to you as if you're my therapist. You let me go"

He loosens the grip but still holds onto your hand. "Alright, But just so we're clear? You're not fat, and you're definitely not ugly. You can tell me why you feel that way"

You wriggle your hand out of his hold and finally look at him. You've had enough.

"Fine, you wanna know? I am chubby, and I'm ok with that, I have no problem being chubby. it's just tiring for me because ppl always make it seem like I'm some disgusting things that doesn't deserve humanity" you take a breath and star again, "And you cannot say anything to me because you wanted this, you wanted me to say all these"

You look down, feeling defeated. It's so weird to word these things to someone, considering you had no one growing up. No siblings, no bestfriends, no close cousins. Even your parents never listened or talked to you about how you felt. You were truly tired. You felt two hands hold your shoulder. You look up, and it's Yeosang.

"People are fucking idiots. And the fact that you're okay with being yourself makes you hotter than anyone who tries to fit into some bullshit beauty standard." His jaw clenches at your words, a hint of something flashing in his eyes. He looked angry.

"Those assholes can keep their narrow-minded opinions. Because someone who stands up for themselves like you just did? Someone who owns their worth instead of begging for validation"

His gaze intensifies, filled with a newfound respect and... something deeper. "That's the kind of person who deserves to be cherished. And anyone who can't see that? They're the ones who are fucking ugly, inside and out."

He sees the unspoken acknowledgment in your eyes, the silent absorption of his words. It's the first time he's seen you listen so intently, without pushing him away or rolling your eyes. He swallows hard, realizing the power of his words on you.

His monologue ended. And it was everything you wanted to hear all these days. The words you wanted your parents to say to you, the words you needed. He said everything. It was the first time in a while you felt like you can actually believe someone. But you were not like this. Circumstances made you so that you push away everyone. And that has become your nature. If I can push them away before they can, I won't be hurt.

"I appreciate your words towards me, but I don't know anything about your confession. I-I don't think so I can accept it"

He nods slowly, a small smile playing on his lips. "I get it. It's a lot to take in, especially coming from a person like me." He leans in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Tell you what - how about I show you my worth?"

You look up at him, bewildered. What does he want. Is he crazy? Has he lost his marbles? Is he that bored? All these questions flood your mind but only one thing slips out of your mouth, "huh?" His smile grows wider, a spark of mischief in his eyes. "You know, prove to you that I'm not just some dumb guy who talks big." He pauses, studying your face. "I'll do something for you. Something that shows you I'm more than just words. I'll court you"

You were speechless. "I-I don't need-"

He puts a finger on your lips to shut you up. "Let me finish," He says, his tone leaving no room for argument. "I'm not doing this to pressure you or anything stupid like that. I just want a chance to show you who I really am, beyond the tough act."

Looking at your eyes, he realised how hurt you were. He exhales slowly, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes that he rarely lets anyone see. "I know I'm not the prince charming type. But maybe that's a good thing. Maybe you deserve someone who fights for you, who understands the real world and all its fucked up beauty."

The next day, as you walk into college, you catch him standing beside the gate. Wearing his signature black attire with silver accessories. As you walked towards the gate, he saw you and he got off the wall and walked towards you. He stops in front of you, his hands in his pockets as he looks down at you with a small smile. "Morning," He says, his voice casual but with an underlying warmth. "I was waiting for you."

"Good morning" you look around and see people look at you for a moment and then look away. It made your face feel hot from embarrassment.

He holds your cheeks and moves your face towards him "don't look at them. ignore them" You both start walking towards the class. As they walk side by side, Yeosang couldn't help but let out a light chuckle, shaking his head slightly. "You know, I never thought I'd be one for this whole 'gentleman' thing. But here I am, walking you to class like some corny love story."

You were quick with your answer, "You wanted this. I'm positive by the end of this week, you won't want to be with me"

His smile fades a bit at your words, a hint of seriousness entering his eyes. "And why's that?" He asks, his voice low and even. "You think you're that hard to handle?" He smirks, but there's an underlying challenge in his gaze. You wait for him, to say further, but he waits for your answer. You look to the side, taking in a breath and say "Yes."

He stops walking abruptly, turning to face you directly. His expression is intense, a blend of amusement and determination. "Well, guess what? I've dealt with thorns, I've tangled with barbs, I've faced off against the sharpest minds and the coldest hearts."

You stare at him for a while and then "damn you really did become philosophical"

He barks out a short, surprised laugh, shaking his head as he starts walking again, this time more aggressively. "Philosophical? Nah, just stating facts." He glances at you sideways, a mischievous glint in his eye. You shake your head and follow him to the class.

Over the next few days, Yeosang continues to act like your doting boyfriend, much to the confusion and entertainment of your classmates. He walks you to class, sits with you at lunch, and even "accidentally" brushes your hands during lessons.

After school one day, he suddenly grabs your hand and starts dragging you towards the nearby ice cream shop. When you resist, he stops and turns to face you with a stubborn expression. "Come on, I'm buying you ice cream. Don't make a scene."

"I don't want ice cream"

He ignores your protests, opening the door to the ice cream shop and practically pushing you inside. "you're getting it anyway, pick a flavour"

Eventually you were forced to have a large ice cream cone with chocolate and Butter scotch, your two favourite flavours.

You both start walking towards your house "I don't like when people spend money on me" He shrugs it off, "Too bad, I spent the money anyway." He says nonchalantly, walking beside you with his hands shoved in his pockets. As you get closer to your house, he pauses and looks at you sideways, "You going to invite me in now?"

He wants to come inside my house now?

"in my house? My mom's in the house"

He looks at the door for a bit, then "how about I talk to my future mom in law beforehand and ask for her daughter's hand in marriage now." and walk right in as you had unlocked the door. You run to stop him but the damage was already done.

Yeosang finds himself standing in a neat, tidy living room. A woman with short, dark hair and piercing eyes is sitting on the couch, reading a book. She looks up as he enters and her gaze locks onto him. For a moment, Yeosang is taken aback by the intensity of her stare.

You trail behind, shocked by the ongoing staring contest between them.

He clears his throat professionally, straightening his posture "Good evening ma'am. I'm Kang Yeosang, your daughter's classmate. I was hoping we could have a word." He maintains a polite, respectful tone despite his usual confident demeanor, feeling the weight of this mother's presence.

The woman closes her book and places it on the coffee table. She stands up slowly, her eyes never leaving Yeosang's face. "You're yeosang" she states, her voice cold and calculated. "Sit down," she instructs, gesturing to the chair across from her. He moves to sit down carefully, maintaining eye contact with her while keeping his body language respectful. His usual charm falters slightly in the face of her stern presence. "I promise, I have the best intentions with your daughter."

Your mom raises an eyebrow skeptically as she leans forward, elbows resting on her knees. "that's for me to decide"

Shit yeosang thinks.

He takes a deep breath, leaning back slightly and offering what he hopes is a disarming smile. "Of course, ma'am. I wouldn't dream of imposing or presuming anything." He glances around the room, noting that there are no family pictures nor unnecessary decor. Noticing the notably stern air and lack of familial photographs surrounding him, yeosang's confidence dips even further. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, suddenly wishing he had practiced this conversation in more depth. "I, uh... I truly care about her, ma'am."

"I understand that but what is it that you want?" Your mother asks him softly but with an underlying aggression.

He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "I mean, ma'am, that I have developed strong feelings for your daughter. I respect and admire her greatly, and I would like the opportunity to pursue a relationship with her, with your blessing and guidance."

Honestly, if you had popcorn, you'd be very entertained. Kinda well if you exclude the part that you might get your ass whooped after he leaves creating a big mess. But you hold your breath.

Your mother's expression remains unreadable, her eyes scrutinizing Yeosang intently. "You're asking for my permission to date my daughter?" She asks flatly, her tone leaving no room for misinterpretation.

he nods "yes ma'am"

She steeples her fingers, tapping her index fingers thoughtfully against her lips. "I see." She sits back in her chair, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Tell me, yeosang, how can I let my daughter be with you, if I don't know anything about your future, family. I don't want her to have a miserable life and for that you need to have a job"

"yes ma'am. That's why I have everything sorted out. Im good ataths and have dreams of persuing higher Education in it. if not I have intrest in becoming a professor. and if that fails as well, I have my father's company. but ofcourse, that is the last option"

Damn that was kinda hot. Wait, brain, wtf?

Your mother nods slowly, seeming to consider his words carefully. "A good education and a solid career path. Those are important things for a man to have." She pauses, her gaze drifting to the door for a moment before snapping back at him. "But tell me, yeosang"

"Are you prepared to handle the pressure and responsibilities that come with being in a relationship with my daughter? she has been severely depressed and suicidal for the past 8 years after her dad lost everything and committed suicide" Her voice is firm, leaving no room for argument.

You felt betrayed, by your own mother. You were shocked, hurt and mostly, sad that she exposed this. You were always reserved about your feelings, shutting them off from everybody. But hearing this made you felt exposed, naked almost

Yeosang's expression softens as he realizes the gravity of your situation. He leans forward earnestly, his eyes filled with sincerity and determination. "Ma'am, I understand completely. I know I'm asking for a big responsibility. But please believe me when I say that I'm ready to stand by your daughter through thick and thin. I have experience dealing with mental health issues, as my own aunt struggled with depression for years. I know it's not an easy path, but I'm committed to supporting and loving her unconditionally."

Your mother studies him intently, her hard exterior cracking slightly to reveal a glimmer of hope and relief in her eyes. "You're a good man, Yeosang. Most boys your age would run away screaming at the thought of dealing with something like this"

He shrugs and says something that made your eyes tear,

"I love her ma'am"

Your mother's expression softens further, a rare smile tugging at her lips. "I can see that you truly care for my daughter. That's the most important thing to me." She pauses, her mind made up. "You have my blessing to date my daughter, Yeosang."

AN: whooo I got this done guys clap in the comments. I hope y'all enjoyed this and if you did, please reblog so I can reach even more people. I love yalllll

[artemisprince006]

Just going to preface this by saying this is me going on a rant. I just saw something that bothered me and I need to get my thoughts out on the matter.

I recently saw a post criticizing fanfic writers for writing Christmas fics about ancient Chinese characters. Basically saying that instead of learning about the culture and writing something true to the characters culture we are spreading our Christian infested thoughts (my words not theirs, but the crux of the post).

First off, it is not a novel concept that fic writers like to combine two things they enjoy. So if someone wants to combine these two topics, what is the big deal? No it’s not a Chinese holiday, but I think we all need to remember that fic writers are doing this in their spare time - we don’t have hours to research all the nuances of certain cultures or maybe some just aren’t comfortable writing about another culture that isn’t their own.

Furthermore, if you are upset about Christmas fics with ancient Chinese characters, what about Halloween fics? What about Hanukkah fics? Shouldn’t these also be deemed unacceptable? Or if it’s the Christianity aspect that’s the problem, what about Lord of the Rings AUs (Tolkien incorporated his faith into his novels)? Or Twilight AUs (with morman views)? Are all of these also unacceptable?? It just boggles my mind why people can’t let others enjoy themselves. This is a hobby. We do it for fun. If writing a Christmas fic makes someone happy, let them do it! Don’t read it if you don’t like it. Why is it so wrong for someone to combine two things they love?

Also, just because people celebrate Christmas does not mean they are Christians. I am an atheist and because of religious trauma in my past I despise Christianity (I am aware not all of it is bad and it is something I need to work on but it has left a permanent sourness inside me). To me, Christmas isn’t about religion. It’s about being with family and friends and simply enjoying time with each other and the traditions we share. If I want to spread that Christmas cheer by writing a fic with my two gay idiots, so what? If you want a more accurate interpretation of Chinese themes, then write that fic!! I’d love to read it and learn more about Chinese traditions.

With that being said, in no way am I trying to demean other holidays or cultures that don’t celebrate Christmas. As a writer, one of the biggest tips is to write what you know. I know Christmas and maybe I wanted to share those cozy Christmas vibes with others. If it’s not for you, don’t read it. Block me. Do what you got to do, but don’t rain on someone’s parade for simply writing about two things they enjoy. Again, I have nothing against other cultures or holidays. In fact, if you celebrate a different holiday, tell me about it in the comments! I’d love to hear about it.

Regardless of what you celebrate, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season!

And fic writers! Keep writing~

[velvetvexations]

Since we're talking about forcefem, here're most of the forcefem-related asks I've had in my inbox, some of which are a few days old on account of technically going in the vexatious tag if not exactly kink asks. I wanted to answer one from today on it's own which I'll get to later but I wanted to get to the older ones and also get to a few of the others from today while I was at it.

i just saw a post where a trans guy was showing some messages where someone was (unconsensually) basically roleplaying forcefemming him. despite him telling them that he did not want that and that it was very much transphobic, and he atill got a message boiling down to "you're not a man, silly, you're a girl :D" and. to be honest. this was the thing that stopped the brainworms of "what if the whole concept of transandrophobia is actually transmisogynistic and i am entirely wrong" bc at least some of these people will just say the most bog standard transphobic shit to trans guys and not register it as transphobia. so why the fuck would they be right about anything transmascs experience also on that note thank you for being so outspoken in favour of transmascs getting to discuss their oppression. it's really helpful to see trans women stand with us here, especially when it comes to aforementioned brainworms

congratulations to that transphobe for creating a new transandrobro

the 'forcemasc isnt revolutionary' shit is the most annoying iteration of stupid tumblr discourse. like im going through the tag trying to read some horny shit and oh look. theres someone being stupid and hypocritical. in my horny tag.

people are getting tribalist about kinks and it's depressing

Every time people are saying that trans men & mascs cannot possibly fathom being objectified & fetishized, I think on all of the posts I’ve seen that did that exact same thing. And yeah, some of it might have been kink, so no hate no judgement I dabble in that tag too, but I’ve also seen “get in the dress” type posts that seem to be genuinely calling for trans men to be more feminine, untagged & in the wild, enough where I’m like — am I just imagining this? Like am I crazy? Am I missing something, or was that extremely detailed post about why I MUST stay feminine — or become more — for someone else’s benefit being 100% serious? And, again — if it’s kink, all the power to them, I love that for them, I even occasionally love that for me. But I have encountered enough people who were dead serious that I sometimes want no one but trusted friends & advisors to ever witness me again. And then I look at statistics & feel genuinely ill. And yeah, I’m gnc — and there’s the rub, because while I feel genuine joy being fem as well as masc, I want it to be a Choice, not something forced upon me.

people need to be fucking normal

Yh like ik a lot of shitposts don't have any tags but people have. Really gotta tag forcefem. I've blocked a large amount of people making these jokes + filtered their names n I still see it

I'm sorry, anon. <3

Fuck thank you so much for talking so openly about forcemasc. I’m so dumb I thought there wasn’t a name for that kink that I’ve been into for years, albeit my version is way more weirder. It would be like a… forcemascfem??? Like first it’s forcemasc and then it turns into forcefem and then right back to forcemasc…. And then back to- Idk my gender is weird and my kinky fantasy for that is weird

Cross as many boundries as you want, that sounds rad. Forcefem has a lot of infrastructure to jump off of.

“I’m doing a kink in a non kink way so it’s not kink blog!” Sorry this pisses me off It’s still a kink. Like. If someone made an I-suggest-BDSM blog and tried to claim it wasn’t a kink blog I’m sure more people would see how silly this is but because it’s the transfem approved virtuous forcefem they just let it slide??? Like. You are engaging in a kink and thats fine. You can say there won’t be anything explicitly sexual! But it will still be a kink blog because it’s a blog about a kink! A kink blog if you will! It doesn’t matter if you’re not getting off to it, it’s still a kink! That you are participating in! On your blog about that kink!

It SHOULD piss you off! It's extremely fucking scummy!

what the hell? for like one solid minute(longer than that but i like saying it this way) all the forcefem on my dash was tagged and i could blissfully not have to see it every other post and then just today i had to unfollow a buncha people for an assload of untagged forcefem :/ like im transmasc i think its understandable that i do not wish to see that anyway hope your day is goin well miss velvet

yeah it's praxis to not tag kink anymore

trfs are perfectly aware what the "force" bit means when forcemasc comes up in conversation

strange how that works

[aizenat]

Sorry op I’m about to hijack your post; please ignore me if you find this annoying lol.

“You need to stop listening to what men tell you to believe about women.”

LITERALLY!!!!! Why do they think we were saying “believe all women” during MeToo????? Because it’s more likely that if you don’t, you’ll end up supporting an abuser and showing women all over you won’t believe them when they go through something similar than you are to believe a woman lying on a man “unfairly.” Believe women first and until it’s been proven beyond a shadow of doubt and this is less likely to happen!

This idea that it’s worse for a man to be “falsely accused” of abuse or sexual misconduct than it is for a woman to come out with abuse allegations and not be believed is insane! Stop sympathizing with men who act like they’re so afraid of being falsely accused! They’re not! They see how this shit plays out and they KNOW that the world will believe them first before even thinking of the woman! If they truly were concerned about it, they wouldn’t have ever been in a situation where they could be accused! I have never seen a man get accused who was just walking by minding his own business! Men love pushing women in gray areas where women have to get a hundred people to confirm what happened to them was wrong before they even speak out because that’s how men get away with it! And how many times does this have to happen for women to realize that siding with men will ALWAYS lead to you participating in attacking a woman??????? Attacking the VICTIM!!!!

We’re not talking about barely legal 18-20 year olds who don’t know any better; Laura Snapes is WELL into her 30s! How many times has she seen this play out in the media (while working in media her damn self 🤦🏾‍♀️) and she’s STILL being “fooled” in 2024????? Girl just say you felt insecure and hated girls like Blake Lively in hs and so when you got the chance to bully her back you jumped on it and go! Stop lying! You weren’t fooled: you WANTED to believe she was the bitch everyone was making her out to be!

Way too many of you modern women (say anyone under 40ish) LOVE to talk about being a “girls girl” when it comes to defending girls being exploited in porn, when it comes to defending their “right” to get invasive and unnecessary and expensive plastic surgeries, or their right to “marry up” and rely on a man to pay their bills just to turn around and ignore and mock those same women when they talk about being abused or hurt by men! You’re fake and phonies! Feminism is dead to you and female solidarity is a concept yall never even considered.

Let this situation with Blake be the LAST DAMN TIME I see hoards of insecure, aggressively anti feminist women jump for mens approval to put down the pretty but totes obviously bitchy woman that would never settle for the shitty men yall settle for. Respect yourselves and your fellow woman whether you personally like her or not! This shouldn’t be hard; men do this shit all the time! How many times you see men “playing devils advocate” defending shitty men while claiming they don’t know or like that man? How many men been laughing about how “weird” Diddy is but was quick to defend him when Cassie put out her lawsuit last year? If they can do it, yall need to learn how to do it too. Cuz this year, especially with the us presidential election, these men have made it CLEAR where their allegiance lies. And it’s NOT with women.

Believe ALL women in 2025 and beyond! PERIOD.

I need more women to STOP falling for propaganda and then acting like we all fell for it. I need women to think for themselves and genuinely support other women when they're suddenly being accused and dog-piled instead of listening to the media. This has happened far too many times now that you can't just keep falling for it and then saying "WE should ALL be shocked!" No. You need to be better. You need to stop listening to what men tell you to believe about women. Stop falling for it.

[crystaistar]

𝐉𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⋆˙⟡ (that no one asked for)

Warnings : Stalking mentioned, obsessive behaviour, (obvious) mental issues, fluff, comfort/hurt, friends (w benefits?), no relationship, y/n mentioned,

A/n : Josh's sisters are dead in this (hence the comfort). I also made this out of nowhere, which is why it wasn't on my 'upcoming' post!

☆ After his sisters death, you, Chris, and Sam were the only people he talked to for a while. He didn't trust anyone else to care for him as much as you. "I can't trust them, not as much as you, y/n"

☆ Josh had trouble sleeping, continuous nightmares of his sisters coming back to haunt him. So, he always asked you to stay with him until he went to sleep.

☆ Sometimes, he even asked you to sleep over in his room

☆ His sisters used to play baseball with him. You took their place after (to help him cope)

☆ After the prank took place, you became even closer with Josh. No one wanted to be around him (apart from you)

☆ You had to force him to apologise because he didn't think what he had done was wrong

☆ He followed you (much like the wendigo did it's prey) to make sure you weren't sneaking off to see someone else (when you were supposed to be around him)

☆ When you were interviewed with the police you didn't lie, unlike the rest of the group. The practised speech was wasted away on you, as you cared for Josh too much

☆ "I don't want you to leave me, you have to stay.."

☆ Josh said hurtful things sometimes. It made you feel like shit but you knew he didn't mean it

☆ You encouraged him to see another therapist to help with the heaps of trauma that enveloped him

☆ He bought a baseball bat just for you (in your favourite colour) as a thank you gift

☆ When the others started warming back up to Josh (which took some time) they also joined in on the games.

☆ You and the group played in the snow for a whole day after baseball

☆ He made you watch movies with him in the movie room (with was almost always a romcom..?)

☆ Every comforting message you tell him makes his heart melt

☆ He'd tell you dad jokes and then say, "I'm just joshin' ya!"

☆ "Let me help you" he'd say before simultaneously failing at the task

☆ You suggested going ice-skating together, and he agreed only to immediately fall over and become embarrassed

☆ He secretly loves you and never wants you to leave him ᡣ𐭩

 crystaistar 2024 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.

Merry Christmas everyone, hope you all got what you wanted ♡☆

[dreamyintersexouppy]

haiii green back with another gender thought, realized that as boy as i may be i still exist in a transfeminine body and live a transfeminine life, even if i don't specifically identify as transfeminine i still exist in a tma space in the eyes of society, my gender as a boy doesn't really affect that much. the people who know me and treat me like a boy are not treating me like i'm tme they're just respecting me... so basically all the tmra boys are jealous of me, the one true trannyboy

[spasikonik]

an edek themed collage 🪲

[ilsolefiesta]

is it a real downfall?

as Mercury (the ruler of the chart, by the way) and Venus in Libra, I felt so personally offended that I had even decided to write about it. joke, of course. I understand that this is a personal experience for everyone, but with my response, perhaps I may help you see it from the perspective of Libra. many people around me have strong Libra placements, so I guess the size of the statistical sample will allow me to speak for Libra as a whole. from my point of view, Libra doesn't need to have Aquarius's stubbornness or Gemini's dedication to any particular view (in fact, I have always seen them as true social butterflies, so I'm surprised) as this is not the part of their functional role. Libra's primary function is to find balance. this includes, first and foremost, finding your own personal balance, which might sound selfish, but it is what it is. they can bring balance to the world only by being balanced themselves. about "colorlessness" and lack of a moral compass - i think Libra is associated with justice for a reason. they have a fairly well-defined value system. Libra is quite good at challenging and balancing the most extreme points of view, if they are in a comfortable environment and have enough time to analyze the situation. they are just bystanders to how others stand up for their beliefs. everything is so. but where does the need to prove anything to someone come from? stubborn insistence on one's own point of view often causes a loss of those balance - people can tear each other's throats apart in arguments. Libra doesn't initially take a dominant position, and tries to avoid such situations intentionally. their purpose is to bring people back to equilibrium after an argument, having managed to present each side's main points of view. you also miss that Libra is a social sign. and what's the scariest thing for a social sign? rejection. Aries and Scorpio, who are strong-willed enough to withstand it, can go against society. Aquarius can do it, because he doesn't really care about society. so is Sagittarius, who just likes to watch the dissenters getting their asses burned. but not Libra. some will see it as conformity, others as flexibility and the ability to adapt. as for the aspect of friendship and the lack of desire to protect you. unfortunately, Libra's actions are really unbiased when it comes to the situation where there is no their personal interest. Libras are heavily influenced by favoritism and personal sympathy. this is the only thing that can cause them to abandon conformity and the only time when their overall objective and rational value system fail. and then they can do something really bad - falsify facts and justify the actions of someone they sympathize with. therefore, if such a situation has happened to you, I'm afraid that you just didn't fit into the value system of those specific people. I'm sorry about that.

another situation is also possible.

until now, I've advocated for Libra placements' manifestation of other people, but not mine. because, ironically, I'm an exact example of what you are talking about. in addition to my Libra placements, my ASC, Sun and Mars are in Virgo. here favoritism has no power. even while reading the post, at the "where is a leo or a scorpio is defending their friend whether they are right or wrong" moment, I wondered - why should they if you are wrong? in my environment, I always advocate for refined justice, free from emotions. it's easy for me to ignore whether someone is my friend, loved one, or family, as I look at their actions in a specific situation and try to be honest with them. "do you want me to just support you and tell you that you're the best, or do you want my honest, unbiased opinion that may be painful?" - people often come for the latter later, when their emotions cool down a bit and they need an outside perspective. however, the challenge here is that developing such a communication strategy and understanding that people don't always require my open-minded approach didn't come to me immediately. I had to learn this, as it prevented me from communicating with others (returning to the topic of Libra's social orientation). maybe there was a similar situation with people around you - I mean that the reasoning wasn't Libra placements solely. anyway, as I've said in the beginning - I understand that this is a matter of personal compatibility. just a thought from my side, because the post seems interesting to me - so I decided to share opinion. thank you for an interesting topic to think about!

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝓁𝒾𝒷𝓇𝒶 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈

Preface: this is not meant to be a hurtful post, but rather my own personal observations I have made through interacting with various libra placements

these are my own observations and may not resonate with your experiences

I don’t have much experience with libra placements, but the few people close to me with major libra placements have all had glaring shared characteristics. I tend to find that libras are fair to a fault. They lack the headstrong nature of aquarians and aren’t powerfully opinionated as geminis tend to be. It’s not that they refuse to take a stance on things, it’s that their stance depends on who they are with. They ebb and flow with whatever is presented to them, whether bad or good, positive or negative. This can be a really beautiful attribute. It allows for them to see and understand all perspectives. However, it can also be their downfall. They aren’t fiercely loyal, powerfully individualistic, or strongly opinionated. They won’t defend you when you are being ridiculed. They won’t stand up for those they care about. Their fairness forces them to watch from afar. Pushed into perpetually being bystanders. Libras are often associated with justice. This has shown up in my life as not taking a stand, but rather watching others fight for their beliefs while avoiding conflict at all costs. They mold to the beliefs of whoever they are closest to in that exact moment. Their best friend of ten years is being torn apart in an argument? They are avoiding eye contact and refusing to speak up. Whereas a leo or a scorpio is defending their friend whether they are right or wrong, a libra is pretending that the conflict didn’t happen. This is truly their downfall. Again, fairness and agreeableness are attributes that I truly look up to, but it is hard for me to jive with people who don’t follow their own strong moral code, whether it be positive or negative.

with love,

starryark ✨

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[tittyinfinity]

contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk

[eruditegeek]

I feel so disconnected all the time.

[deus-and-the-machina]

ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.

the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,

but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.

It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.

[anastacialy]

y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'

[frooogscream]

So David making the show gayer and listening to his collaborators... is a bad thing. Even if you weren't twisting his words, you're not making the point you think you are.

I did never say anything like that, what I sad is that the show was never supposed to be so queer in the beginning and that pretty much all of the queer details about the characters came from the queer actors. My conclusion was not “David Jenkins bad because he didn’t want to make a queer show”, my conclusion was “it is beautiful that these queer people poured their hearts into it and created something with a lot of meaning for other queer people”.

Yes I also used phrases like “we were never even supposed to have what we got” and “This show was NEVER supposed to give us beautiful things and treat it’s queer characters with “kindness”! It was NEVER supposed to be for queer people!”, implying that I personally felt like s2 made some choices that I, with my personal experience as a queer person was disappointed in (such as cutting all the poly scenes and killing of the older queer characters right after giving him a coming out arc, in doing so removing an actor who is very vocally supportive of trans people which I, as a trans person appreciate and used the opportunity on convention panels to talk about queer rights and removing the only of the three most central characters in s2 actually played by a queer person, etc.).

But that was just a tiny and implied undertone in an overwhelmingly positive post, in which I praise the cast of the show. And for the record, I DO think that it is great that DJ made these adjustments, I work in theater and occasionally in film and know that it is also not uncommon or bad to make changes as the project evolves and actors flesh out the roles more. I simply pointed out that he is not the one who originally had the ideas to make it this queer and that he originally didn’t plan to let the main queer love story end with a happy ending. Firstly this is not a bad thing, there are a lot of shows out there that aren’t queer, no body is “required” to make queer shows. Secondly where the hell am I twisting his words, he LITERALLY said all of the things I listed as changes towards a more queer show himself and you can find all the interviews linked in the source I gave in my post! Again the over all tone of my post was “oh my god, look what crazy info I stumbled upon and isn’t it fucking fantastic that these gorgeous queers have turned this regular show into something that means so much to us”. And that you manage to take that positive post and read something sooooo negative into it, just because someone dares to say that maybe David isn’t this amazing queer rights activist that some fans make him out to be and didn’t plan on making a revolutionary queer show, is honestly baffling to me.

I am also not “trying to make any point”, this is my personal block with barely 30 followers where I described my personal feelings towards factually true information and my personal feelings are:

I fucking love Vico, I fucking love Con, I fucking love Kristian (also Nathan and every queer person who worked on this behind the scenes) but I’m not gonna kiss David Jenkins feet for something that wasn’t even his idea, I don’t “owe” a cis straight guy who dosnt understand half of why the things his queer cast came up with are so important, gratitude. I gladly and freely extend a big fucking chunk of gratitude to queer actors who put their heart and soul into their queer roles way more then they are required to. Hope this helps.

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[alkeneater]

damn I kinda scared to ask this but ppl haven't claimed or 'callout' you for selfshipping w Abe knowing that he is 16 and you are 20?

I want to do the same but I'm afraid to take a risk and think that it's wrong or something [heartbreak]

Tbh I'm still kinda afraid of this 😭 (damn bro I'm so problematic)... But you know, that fact also bothered me so much, I decided to ask other selfshippers on reddit about this (fictosexuality subreddit to be exact).

I'm shipping myself with Abe since 2020 (I was 16 back then) and people said it's not my fault that characters sometimes can't grow up with us, so they recommended me just to age him up, if his current age makes me uncomfortable. That's why I instantly created a design of 20 y.o. Abe (and he hasn't changed much, but like... I hasn't really changed in 4 years either, that makes sense to me 🤷‍♂️) and now use it in my selfship artwork.

Some people just let go of their fictional others, if they are able to do it and there's a good reason for it. I'm... too weak for this, apparently. I just can't let go of Abe, he's my highest kin, my comfort character and selfshipping with him is like therapy to me. I just can't, that's it. I don't wanna risk my mental health because some people think I'm weird.

Bro, if you wanna selfship, just do it :з Unpopular opinon, but as long as you understand what you're doing, as long as you're not harming anyone, it's okay. Age them up and be happy <3 I know that "fiction affects reality" and selfshipping with minors is wrong, but most of us choose these characters NOT because of their age or body, but because of their personality and behaviour. And if you're uncomfortable with them being too young that's already a good sign, so don't worry. Create an older version of them and do whatever you want. I wish you luck with that!!