#why am i doing this will would just break my heart even more

[thisisntmyrightera]

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 3

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

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◻○△ Hyun-Ju POV △○◻

The lights had barely gone out when Y/N had fallen asleep using one of her arms as a pillow and even though I was lying on my side, the space she used was still tiny, I could cover her with my arms and make her disappear without any problem.

The strands of her hair fell carefully and perfectly arranged around her head, some on her face where her long eyelashes adorned her cheeks, it was so strange to see and even more difficult to understand.

Previously, before I began with my identity recognition, my appearance attracted too many girls, many of them interested in my position and the economic benefits that this could bring to their lives, but I never felt attracted to them, they were all the same and empty.

But then why did I feel like this now? She could be my little sister, the fragile and sweet girl that I could take care of but my heart didn't feel that way, my stomach turned when she took my hand with fear, taking care that the bond didn't break so she wouldn't get lost from my side, my heart beat a thousand times faster when her eyes narrowed every time she smiled, my head spun every time she told me those words of encouragement making me see that I never made a mistake and that being who I am is no problem, she was the reason now for wanting to get out of this game and it didn't matter if I won the money or not, she was the best thing I had ever won.

Aren't you sleepy?…- she whispered making me jump slightly but I remained silent looking at her - don't pretend you're asleep… I can feel your gaze I'm sorry, I'm not sleepy yet..- I smiled at nothing feeling embarrassed for being discovered You should rest, tomorrow we will need strength to continue playing - her eyes barely opened illuminated with the warm light of the piggy bank - what are you thinking so much about? Thinking? What do you mean? - I looked at her curiously trying to pretend that everything was fine If you can't sleep, it's because your head is busy, what's wrong? - Damn, how did she know me so well? Just 3 days were enough for her to read me like the palm of her hand I was thinking… that… that this would be the last game we could play and then we would vote to withdraw from the competition - I smiled barely arranging a lock of her hair that covered her eyes I see, I was thinking the same thing, I don't want to be here anymore, when I get out I'll look for a job, no matter how bad the pay is, I just want to get out and go home - she sighed tiredly

If you don't mind telling me, now I would like to know why you decided to come to these games, what's your story?

Well… -she sighed deeply biting the inside of her lip a little and with another sigh she looked at me again- a year ago I met a guy online, he fell in love with me and he promised me that we would have a long and happy relationship, we went out for a couple of months just through messages and calls and one day he proposed to come to Korea to meet him and if everything went well I would stay with him to live and we would start a family, so… I quit my job and bought a ticket to come here… I met him and everything was going well but a couple of months later he… took all my money and disappeared, he barely paid the last month's rent and luckily they didn't throw me out but… -her gaze lowered sadly feeling ashamed- it was a stupid thing, I should never have trusted someone I didn't know

Men are disgusting… well.. you.. you understand - she laughed a little wiping her wet eyes - then you need the money for?..

To go back home, buy a plane ticket and go back to my country, I'm not welcome here and people have let me know in many possible ways, I just want to go with my family and start over what I left behind

Oh… - my heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces, a part of me thought that by leaving this game she and I could get to know each other a little more, but she just wanted to run away from here, like I wanted and never hear from anyone else again - then… you'll leave

Yes I think so, but don't worry, once we get out we'll continue being friends and when I have a job I'll pay for all the necessary trips to visit you in Thailand - her eyes narrowed with the smile that formed on her lips, it was so comforting but at the same time so painful to hear that.

I didn't understand why it hurt, I had never felt that feeling of pain and abandonment in that sense, the sense of being in love with her.

Is something wrong? - Her small hand slowly touched my cheek making me focus my attention back on her just shaking my head smiling a little

Everything is fine, it's just that… I will miss my best friend as long as she doesn't come to visit me… - I lied and lied again when I told her I was sleepy and we had to sleep, I spent the night awake, watching her sleep once sleep overcame her again

The next morning, at the sound of the loudspeaker, everyone got up, as if so many hours had passed without even feeling the passage of time.

She barely woke up and jumped out of bed as if she had regained all the energy she had lost in the previous days, put on her shoes and almost ran down to greet Jun-Hee and ask her if she had slept well and if her baby had moved during the night. Y/N had barely found out that 222 was pregnant she kept asking her questions, excitedly showing that she couldn't wait for her turn.

Her authentic happiness made me feel much worse, it made me feel selfish, I wanted her for myself but I couldn't give her anything she wanted, I wouldn't give her the happy life, nor the family she dreamed of, it was a martyrdom and I only thought that I had made the worst decision to be the way I am now.

That is your punishment - the shaman laughed leaning on the bedposts - for following the wrong path that the gods wrote for you, now you will suffer, you love her but you will not have her

I don't know what you are talking about ma'am - I looked at her closing my sweater and arranging my hair with my fingers

Oh no? We are not stupid, we all know what you think when you look at her, how much you want to kiss her and show her that you love her but you don't, because you know that she doesn't like people like you, she only talks to you out of pity and she will never like you - the woman laughed, knowing that she had broken the last thing that was left in a piece inside me, she knew my secret and could use it against me to make me weak at any moment

Shut your mouth you damn bitch, you only know how to say shit, why don't you pray to the gods to give you a new brain uh? Get out of here - Geum-Ja confronted her pushing her away with her hands making the shaman go away laughing while I sat on the steps with my insides destroyed - girl, don't listen to her, that woman attacks where she knows she will truly destroy, don't give her that pleasure

She's right… - I looked at her sadly while she sat next to me brushing my hair with her fingers

Is she right? About we all know you have feelings for that girl? Of course she's right, but she'll never be right in stating what she feels or doesn't feel for you and we won't know until she tells you, maybe she sees you as an older sister or maybe as her best friend… -she smiled at me taking my hand- or maybe, deep inside, where no one knows her secrets, she feels for you the same as you do for her and it doesn't matter if you think you're not enough for her, when you're the right person for someone, all dreams come true

Do you believe in that? - I looked at her again feeling my lungs fill with air once again with her loving motherly smile

Of course, it doesn't matter what you were before or what you are now or if you are both girls, if love is sincere then love can do everything and I know you will fight to save yourself but especially her and I promise you that once we leave you two will go to my house and we will eat the best kimchi you have ever tasted, do you understand? - She laughed patting my back making me smile

''Players, it's time for a new game, please line up and leave in order following the masked soldiers''

Hyun-Ju, let's go - Y/N called me making me look at her quickly while she smiled

Go with her, I'll go with my son - Geum-Ja patted me again standing up as we both went down

Don't leave my side okay? - I looked at her as she nodded smiling and stood in front of me in the line of players

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The instructions had been clear and one thing was clear to me, I should not separate myself from Y/N at any time, she would be my priority in this game and no matter how many players there were, she would be the one who would always be by my side.

The platform spun to that traumatizing childhood song, everyone silently looking at each other

''10'' - The speaker spoke making us freeze

There are 4 of us, we need 6 more - Yong-Sik shouted desperately pulling his hair

Y/N! Here, there are 5 of us - Dae-Ho shouted pulling Y/N's arm making her look at him

There are 4 of us - I pulled her other arm bringing her back to me looking at him annoyed - Run to a room I'll look for one more

No Hyun-Ju I won't leave, let's go together - Y/N looked at me scared shaking her head

Don't worry, run! - I took her hand giving it to Dae-Ho making him pull her while I screamed looking for person 10 taking whoever the first person I saw was pulling her into the room

''10..9..8..7.''.- the speaker spoke making me nervous when I was able to enter the room and close the door almost fainting without oxygen in my lungs and the countdown reached zero we all looked at each other, the shots could be heard leaving us stunned as we caught our breath

Everyone is alive thanks to me! - the shaman shouted looking at us one by one - ah… I see why I'm here, to save your little friend's life - she laughed pointing at me

Don't start you damn crazy - Geum-Ja looked at her annoyed

As soon as the lock was removed and the door opened, everything was a bloodbath, we all walked in fear looking around confused when I felt a warm hand take mine.

You said we wouldn't separate… don't do that again - Y/N looked at me with her wet eyes

I'm sorry..- I smiled barely squeezing her hand walking slowly together so as not to slip with the blood on the floor

Again the song began to play and the platform turned again, this time with fewer players on it

''4'' - the speaker rang as soon as the song stopped making us look at each other

Run! Run now - I squeezed her hand pulling her as Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik followed us into the room and I closed the door leaning my back against it so no one could open it

This is so tiring… it's torture - Yong-Sik sat on the floor with his head in his hands desperate

Are you okay? - I looked at Y/N who was breathing heavily looking at the floor

Yes.. - she barely answered catching her breath

Again the lock opened letting us out, there was more blood and fewer people, the floor was sticky making our steps difficult until we reached the platform, once again the game began, the lights came on and the song played loudly

''3'' - the speaker announced making us look at each other again

What do we do? - Y/N looked at me scared

Come with me, we're doing in pairs and we'll look for someone - I grabbed her hand tightly, running screaming looking for someone, being pushed by Yong-Sik into the room

What are you doing here? Where's your mother? - I looked at him scared as he caught his breath

What?…what are you talking about? - he looked at me adjusting his misplaced glasses

The teams are 3 Yong-Sik, where did you leave your mother? - Y/N looked at him screaming upset

What? I understood 4, damn it - Yong-Sik tried to leave stumbling and throwing his glasses on the floor

This time Y/N let go of my hand and left quickly, grabbing Geum-Ja by the clothes skillfully by the back pulling her into the room with such force making her almost fall when she hit the wall and then she takes the door and closing it, now she was outside

No…Y/N NO, COME IN! - she looked at me through the gap in the door, her bright eyes looked at mine for the last time and then she ran - no, please no - the sound of the lock on the door rang and no matter how hard I pulled on it, it was impossible to open it

'' 10..9..8..7 ''

NO, NOT LIKE THIS, NOT HER - I looked at Geum-Ja pulling on my hair, my knees became weak making me fall on the floor as my tears fell

''6…5…4…3''

PLEASE DON'T KILL HER, DON'T SEPARATE HER FROM ME!..

''2…1…''

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Can you guess what would happen in the next episode? Can you guess who have a crush with Y/N? Let me read you! :3

Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

Tag List!

@kuureii @sann1e @sunflowers-are-heaven @bridellashiper @etta-huracan @cupiid1 @alianacelinecolux @juliexz @duchcess

[mylovesstuffs]

Joshua calling her "love" is the most Joshua Hong thing ever. Like, of course he would. This man is so full of love, he’s practically overflowing with it. It’s unfair, really. How can someone be this sweet, this thoughtful, this utterly heart-melting? The universe honestly doesn��t deserve him. We don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve him.

This oneshot? Oh my god, it’s so fluffy and romantic in a way that has me clutching my chest like some lovesick FOOL. It’s not even over-the-top romantic—it’s soft, quiet, but so Joshua. It’s the way he’d say "Love you" so casually, like it’s second nature, like it’s embedded in his DNA to be this gentle. I’m losing my mind!?! ✋🏻😩

Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I sitting here, willingly breaking my own heart, knowing full well there is no Joshua Hong in my future? Like, I know I’m not cut out for that kind of love. I’m too difficult, too hard to love, too me. And yet here I am, reading this, screaming internally at how perfect he is. But seriously, this man. The way he says "Love you" so naturally, like a whisper of reassurance and adoration every time? Someone pinch me because I’m fully delusional atp. It’s not even about the big gestures like IT'S LITERALLY THE little moments, the soft words, the constant love he gives so effortlessly TO US???? Who wouldn’t fall for that? Who wouldn’t cry themselves to sleep over the fact that men like him feel more like a fairytale than reality?

ANYWAY, I’M OBSESSED. ABSOLUTELY HEAD-OVER-HEELS, CRY-ON-THE-FLOOR OBSESSED. SOMEONE NEEDS TO COME TAKE MY PHONE AWAY BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP READING THESE AND MAKING MYSELF SUFFER. JOSHUA HONG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? ACTUALLY, NO, DON’T STOP. I’LL KEEP READING. I’LL KEEP HURTING. BECAUSE MAYBE, A LOVE LIKE THIS CAN EXIST EVEN IF IT’S JUST IN STORIES 😭😭😭

new traditions 💍 joshua x reader.

it's christmas day and joshua still loves you.

★ fiancé!joshua x reader. ★ word count: 1.3k ★ genre/warnings: fluff, talk about marriage/weddings. heavily inspired by toneejay's bagong tradisyon. ★ footnotes: this is a quick one (a 1/2, if you will), but it's a christmas gift for the first friend i made on here. @chugging-antiseptic-dye, it's a privilege being a carat the same time as you! i offer you your husband (literally), and one of the songs that you & i bonded over. i'm in your corner all the way across the sea. 💌

The brass of the apartment key is cold between your fingers.

You turn it over, absentmindedly tracing its biting and shoulder. This is one of two copies; the original remains in Joshua’s safekeeping.

Speak of the devil, you muse when you hear his faint call of “Love?” from the living room. 

You tear yourself out of your thoughts enough to pocket the key and pad out of the apartment’s one bedroom. What greets you is a sight for sore eyes. Cardboard boxes strewn across the floor, luggage bags practically bursting at the seams. 

In the middle of it is Joshua. Your Joshua. 

After all these years, you’re not any less accustomed to the sight of him— even if it is just him in a black, ribbed tank top. He had opted to dress down, knowing that moving day would entail a lot of hauling and organizing. 

When you step into the room, the initial look of frustration on his expression gives way to something more affectionate. This is what his friends constantly teased him about— how Joshua was so damn soft for you.

It didn’t matter. It was a feeling you reciprocated, anyway. 

“Love,” he starts as he gets to his feet. From the look of it, he had been sorting through the cutlery. “Where did you pack the mugs?” 

You gingerly step through the fort of boxes, your eyes skipping over the tape bearing the contents of each carton. “Should be with the plates,” you note. “It was one of the last boxes you brought in.” 

Joshua lets out a thoughtful hum. In the next five minutes, he finds exactly what he’s looking for. 

“Thank you,” he says distractedly. “Love you.” 

There it was. The easy, unconscious way in which Joshua would dole out those words. It didn’t matter where the two of you might be, whether you were with friends or if it was just the two of you. 

Ordering takeout? I’ll have a pizza. Love you. Visiting his parents’ house? Shop with mom for a bit, ‘kay? Love you. Falling asleep together after a long day? A yawn, and then a quiet exhale. Love you.

To Joshua, loving you was as much of a given as breathing. 

There are times when you underestimate it, when you think the words may lose their gravity because of how often he says them. That had been your fear in the beginning. You kept the words close to your heart, saving them for special occasions and big moments.

Consequently, you don’t respond to him, too distracted by the box containing your pillows and comforters. As always, Joshua refuses to stand for that. 

With a furrowed brow, he abandons his mug-organizing to saunter over to your side. 

“I said,” he says pointedly, his arms finding purchase around your waist. He gently pulls your back to his chest, his chin resting on your shoulder. “I love you.” 

The petulant tone of his voice draws a laugh from you. You can’t quite turn your head to see his face but you can already imagine the expression he’s sporting. His lips, downturned into a frown. His eyes narrowed slightly. 

“I love you, too,” you respond. You reach behind you, the position a little awkward, as you attempt to pat Joshua’s hip reassuringly. 

He lets out a low scoff. His hands move up to your shoulders so he can ever so carefully turn you around until you’re facing him. 

You’ve never been a particularly superstitious person. Neither is Joshua. Even so, the two of you didn’t want to risk anything, and so you subscribed to every existing credulous belief about moving houses. 

You didn’t do it on a rainy day or a weekday. You opted for a day where the moon phase would be a new moon. Most importantly, you made sure to arrive before six in the morning. The last one was a nod to starting the new day, supposedly promising homeowners a prosperous beginning. 

At first, you had been vehemently against the thought of getting up at the crack of dawn to begin the whole moving process. Now, though, you find yourself grateful for it. 

The sunlight starting to streak through the window has Joshua glowing as he holds you. He’s incandescent, all honeyed skin and warm eyes. The real clincher is that he looks at you like you’re the sun itself. 

“I see how it is.” He heaves out a dramatic sigh, his gaze fond despite his alleged annoyance. “I put a ring on your finger and you get cocky.” 

Said engagement ring glints in the morning light as you go to rest your arms over Joshua’s shoulders. You return his jab with a roll of your eyes.

“Are we really going to fight on our first morning in our new place?” you bite out. 

Joshua responds with an exaggerated gasp. “Who said we’re fighting? I would never fight you. I couldn’t bear to do it.” 

You have half the mind to push the envelope, to insist that his attitude has led to a good number of spats. But there’s a part of you that knows he’s right, too. Joshua would sometimes be on the verge of tears when the two of you were getting into more serious arguments, and it was in large part because he couldn’t stomach the prospect of even raising his voice at you.

When you don’t contest him immediately, Joshua flashes you a winning smile. He rewards your concession with a lingering kiss to your forehead, and you begrudgingly take the ‘prize’. 

His lips are still on the top of your head when he mumbles, “Say that again.” 

“Hm?” 

“I liked the sound of that. ‘Our place’,” he hums as he pulls away to grin at you. 

Joshua wasn’t always vocal about his feelings on your big move, but it was in moments like these that you’re reminded just how badly he wanted it. How he had dragged you to IKEA every weekend in search of the perfect table linens and curtains. How he had gone through all the forms and processes with ruthless efficiency. How he had begun to include it in his prayers, the plea unassuming and full of hope. 

Lord, please let me have this. 

You’ve never been able to deny Joshua a thing. Your fingers go to stroke the short hair at his nape. Instinctively, his eyes flutter close at your ministrations. 

“Our place,” you concede to repeating. “Welcome to our place, love.” 

The dreamy smile that tugs at his lips makes it all worth it. His eyes flutter open, and he stares at you with a new kind of devotion. 

There’s still a lot that the two of you have to do. Joshua has yet to contact an internet provider to get the apartment WiFi. You need to figure out how to transport the bigger pieces that the two of you have purchased, like the couches and the wardrobes. 

But for now—

Joshua leans down to kiss you. And it’s everything. It’s his litany of love you’s throughout the years. It’s the way his hands shook when he got down on one knee. It’s the unpacked couple mugs, and the bed that you’re going to share, and the life that awaits the two of you. 

When he breaks the kiss to breathe, he doesn’t go too far. His mouth is still against yours when he softly says, “This is the best Christmas ever.” 

Initially, you want to agree. Instead, you find yourself whispering back, “No.”

You go on, “We’re going to have a dozen more Christmases together.” 

“A hundred,” he shoots back in between giggles.

You’re not usually one to give in to your fiancé’s hyperboles, but you’re willing to make some exceptions. “A thousand,” you promise, making him laugh a little more. 

Outside, day breaks. 

There is a key in your pocket, a ring on your finger, and your heart in Joshua’s safekeeping.

BONUS — translated toneejay's bagong tradisyon for your reading/listening pleasure. here's to the loves that last us entire lifetimes.

This year The two of us will live Under the same roof Oh, oh You said You're excited to see What our new traditions will be Oh, oh And Christmas will never be sad again Because you have me And I have you Until the end Until we both turn to ash Until the grave Until we both turn to ash Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Our bodies May grow old But my feelings for you Will stay the same Until the end Until we both turn to ash Until the grave Until we both turn to ash Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh If there is no more love That only means I'm no longer around If there is no more love That only means you're no longer around Until the end Until we both turn to ash Until the grave Until we both turn to ash Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh This year The two of us will live Under the same roof

[cherrylibby]

Unspoken Words

The Hard Deck was alive with the usual chaos—a mix of laughter, the low hum of conversation, and the occasional clink of billiard balls. But Jake couldn’t focus on any of it. His eyes were locked on you, sitting at the bar with a drink in hand, seemingly lost in thought.

He sighed as Bradley’s voice buzzed in his ear, growing more frustrated by Jake’s lack of attention.

"I’m listening," Jake lied smoothly, his gaze darting back to you, his smirk deepening when he caught you stealing a glance his way.

Bradley groaned. "No, you’re not. You’re staring at her again."

Jake ignored him, already halfway to standing as he grabbed his beer and started toward you.

You noticed him immediately, and a wave of annoyance washed over you. "Great," you muttered under your breath, pretending not to see him as he slid up beside you.

"Hey, sweetheart," Jake greeted casually, leaning one elbow on the bar as he turned his full attention to you.

"What do you want, Jake?" you sighed, barely sparing him a glance.

"Ouch." He chuckled, placing a hand over his chest in mock offense. "Not even a hello? You’re killing me here."

"Hello," you said flatly, turning back to your drink. "Goodbye."

Jake chuckled, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—something he quickly masked with his usual charm. "You know, you don’t have to play hard to get. I already know you like me."

You turned to him, an incredulous laugh escaping you. "Excuse me?"

He smirked. "Oh, come on. Don’t act like you don’t. I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention."

"Wow," you deadpanned. "The ego on you is truly something to behold."

Jake laughed, but the sound was softer this time, almost vulnerable. "You say that, but you’re still talking to me."

You rolled your eyes, setting your drink down with a little more force than necessary. "Only because you won’t leave me alone."

He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a more serious tone. "What if I told you there’s a reason for that?"

"Let me guess," you said, crossing your arms. "Because you think you’re irresistible and I’m just another name on your list of conquests?"

Jake’s smirk faltered, and for a moment, something raw flashed across his face. "You really think that’s all you are to me?" he asked, his voice quieter now.

"Isn’t it?" you shot back. "You flirt with everyone, Jake. Why would I be any different?"

"Because you are different!" he snapped, surprising you with the sudden intensity in his tone. "God, do you have any idea what you do to me? I can’t even sit in a room with you without losing my damn mind."

You stared at him, momentarily stunned by his outburst. "Jake, I…"

"No, let me finish," he interrupted, stepping closer. "I flirt because it’s easy. Because it keeps things light and stops me from getting in too deep. But with you… it’s not easy. It’s terrifying."

"Why?" you asked, your voice softer now.

"Because you matter," he admitted, his voice breaking slightly. "Because you’re the first person who’s ever made me feel like this, and I don’t know what to do with it."

"Jake…" you started, but he wasn’t done.

"I know I’ve screwed up," he continued, his eyes searching yours. "I know I’ve given you every reason to think I don’t care. But I do. More than I can put into words. And yeah, maybe I flirt too much, and maybe I’m an idiot, but I’m your idiot if you’ll have me."

Your heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice, but your walls were still up. "And what about the brunette? Or the one before her? How do I know this isn’t just another game to you?"

Jake exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. "They didn’t mean anything. None of them did. I was just… trying to distract myself. From you. From how much I want you and how scared I am of messing this up."

"You’re scared?" you asked, a hint of disbelief in your tone.

"Terrified," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Because you’re not like anyone else. You see through all my bullshit, and you still manage to get under my skin. And the thought of losing you before I even have you? It kills me."

The air between you felt heavy, charged with unspoken tension. Jake stepped closer, his hands hesitating before settling on your hips. "I’m not asking you to trust me right away," he said quietly. "But I’m asking for a chance. A real one. Let me prove to you that I’m serious."

You looked into his eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity. "Jake…"

"Please," he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "Say something before I embarrass myself even more."

You took a deep breath, your resolve wavering. "You're such an idiot," you whispered, your voice barely audible. Before you could second-guess yourself, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his.

Jake's hands found their way to your waist, gripping gently at first, then with more certainty as he kissed you back with fervor.

His lips moved against yours with an intensity that made your heart race. When he finally pulled away, both of you were left breathless, your foreheads resting against each other.

Jake cupped your face in his hands, his touch gentle but grounding. His soft laugh broke the silence, warm and relieved. "Yeah," he murmured, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "But I'm your idiot."

For the first time, you didn’t correct him.

[strwbrryh00n]

Fading Harmony - P. Sunghoon

syp : you and sunghoon have been secretly dating for years now but as the groups popularity soars, the pressure of fame sunghoon’s demanding schedule takes a toll on the relationship.

warnings : none really, short story, not proof-read

genre : angst, breakup

___

the city lights in seoul twinkled like stars as you stood on the rooftop, the cool air swishing past your face making you inhale the city’s scent. you’ve been dreading and i mean dreading this conversation with your boyfriend, sunghoon.

the man who swore it would never come down to this. the man who kissed you and told you he would never leave you. the man who would be on your tail about why you took so long to respond to his messages at times. the man you would spend your life with. sunghoon.

as you were lost in your thoughts about your boyfriend the door to the rooftop creaked open, and sunghoon walked out, his eyes scanning the area until they locked into yours. your heart skipped a beat as he was walking towards you, his expression somber.

“hey,” he said softly, stopping infront of you as he plants a kiss on your forehead.

“hey,” you replied, trying to sound casual despite the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your throat.

sunghoon took a deep breath before speaking, the city lights mapping out his handsome face. “i’ve been thinking…and i realized that with the fame of enhypen and the busy schedules i need to prioritize that right now and i’m sorry.”

“is that all i really am to you?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper. “just something to prioritize or be pushed aside when things get busy?”

sunghoons eyes dropped, and he took a step back, as if he was retreating from the conversation. “that’s not fair” he said quietly. “you know how much you mean to me”

“then why are you doing this?” you demanded, feeling a surge of desperation. “why are you giving up on us”

sunghoon sighed, rubbing his temple trying to ward off a headache. “i’m not giving up on us, i just…i just need some space, okay? i need to focus on my music career, and i don’t know if i can do that with you by my side.”

the words cut deep into you like a knife, but you refused to give up. you took a step forward, reaching out to him. “sunghoon, please,” you say, voice cracking. “don’t do this. we can work through this together”

sunghoons eyes met yours and for a moment you saw a glimpse of hope. but then his expression hardened, and he shook his head. “i’m sorry.” he said, his voice forcefully firm. “i really am”

the words felt like a blow to your stomach, leaving you winded and gasping for air. you stumbled backwards feeling like you were drowning in a sea of despair.

as you turn to leave, sunghoon called out. “wait,” he said, his voice soft. “please don’t go like this”

you turn back to him, feeling a surge of anger and hurt. “what do you want from me, sunghoon? you’re breaking up my heart and you’re asking me to stay?”

sunghoon eyes dropped. “i just…don’t want to lose you.”

the words felt like a slap to your face. “you’re breaking up with me and you’re worried about losing me?” you repeated, feeling a surge of incredulity. “you’re the one who’s pushing me away, sunghoon.”

as you turn to walk away from sunghoon, feeling horrible, you felt a sharp pain go through your chest. grabbing it you continued to walk towards the door on the rooftop, tears fall down your cheek uncontrollably. you could hear a faint sniffle from sunghoon that just makes you want to run back and tell him you love him even when the choices got tough.

but as you walked, you felt a spark determination ignite within you. you will survive this break up, you will move in from this break up. and you would never forget the love you guys shared amongst each other, the love that had broken your heart into a million pieces.

more tears welled up in your eyes and as you procressed everything maybe, just maybe, you both could find a way back to each other in the future, someday.

but for now, you had to let him go.

[planetpedri]

hiii

could u write an academic enemies to lovers for kenan yildiz pleaseeee

Do I wanna know? 𖦹 Kenan Yildiz !

summary. You’d known Kenan since you were kids, you’d despised him since you were kids, and even know in college, you—oh. Maybe you didn’t?

word count. 545+

disclaimers. banter / slight enemies to lovers due to rivlary

bea speaks! didn’t even realize i’ve had this in my drafts since september i am so so sorry??? and this is kind of open ending but wtv i need it out of my drafts asap

You’d thought leaving your hometown for university would mean freedom—freedom from him. Kenan Yizdiz. But, as if the universe found pleasure in your misery, Kenan had shown up at orientation day with the same annoyingly perfect smile, acting as though he wasn’t the bane of your very existence.

You’d known Kenan for as long as you could remember, but not in the way that was heartwarming. No, he’d been your rival since grade school. Always somehow always beating you in everything. The spelling bee’s and honor rolls. Everything.

So, seeing him on orientation day was… well, infuriating.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he had drawled, leaning casually against the registration table as you signed in. “Still chasing my shadow?”

“More like trying to escape it,” you’d snapped, not even sparing him another glance. “Guess I failed that too.”

Now, three years later, Kenan is still somehow everywhere. In your classes. In the library. Everywhere. He’s still the same old Kenan—competitive, cocky, and stupidly good at everything he does.

But that wasn’t even the worst part. It was the way his smug grin grows wider every time he beats you (which is annoyingly often.)

The final straw comes when you were both nominated for the same prestigious academic award for your class. Today, you’d caught him the library with dozens of books spread around his study table.

“You’re really trying to win this, huh?” You ask, slamming your book into the table across from him.

Kenan’s gaze flickers up to you, unimpressed. “What gave it away, genius? The mountain of research around me or the fact that I’m not out partying like a dog like you act like I do?”

Okay, attitude.

“Hard work doesn’t make you special, Yildiz,” you shoot back. “It simply makes you tolerable.”

“Funny.” He counters quickly, leaning back into his chair. “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

The two of you lock eyes, and for a moment something shifts. You were so used to the banter, the constant push and pull, that it takes you by surprise when his smug smirk.. softens?

“Why do you even hate me so much?” He asks, voice dropping into a quieter tone, breaking the silent tension. “You’ve been acting like this since we were kids. Like I stole your puppy or something.”

Your posture straightens and you shift on your feet uncomfortably. “Well, Frank did run to you before me that once.” You scoff at the memory of your childhood dog and Kenan, “and, I don’t hate you, Kenan. I just don’t like losing to you. That’s all.”

The brunettes lips twitch into a grin, “Is that so? Because I don’t mind losing to you.”

That.. well, it shut you up. Your eyes lock on his, stunned, while he gathers his books. As he walks past, he leans down just enough to whisper in your ear, his hot breath painting your cheeks a crimson red.

“Maybe if you stopped trying so hard to beat me—to dislike me, you’d realize we could make a really good team.”

Then he leaves.

Leaving you standing there, pulse racing, wondering what the hell just happened. And when did your agitating rival become someone who made your heart stutter.

Better yet, did you want to know?

likes, comments, and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future posts.

ᝰ.ᐟ tags @halfwayhearted @lechrts @sakashq @ar4ujos @be11ingham @spidybaby @st4rgirl-ellie @piastri-fvx

[lilcathsmith]

Bones Season 10? Finished!!

I enjoyed this season a lot more than recent seasons. Bones and Booth were (for the most part) a lot more at ease with each other and the more personal side of the majority of episodes were a lot lighter and easy to watch.

That being said.... SWEETS 😭😭😭 Spoiler Alert: knowing about your favourite character dying 5 seasons in advance does NOT make it easier to watch and in all honesty I think it fucked me up more than I thought it would, I didn't watch any episodes for a while (about a week).

I don't think it helped that Aubrey was brought in so close after (*before) he died, I didn't even get an episode to get used to Sweets not being there and also why does Aubrey look so similar to Sweets 😭 That being said, I do love Aubrey, he's kind of cocky and maybe a bit arrogant but he's funny and he cares about Booth SO MUCH (also that scene with him and Christine was so cute).

The Cam and Arastoo plot with Arastoo going back to Iran was hard and I hated seeing Cam so worried about him (and are they actually broken up or just on a break? I'm confused?).

And finally Angela and Hodgins and Paris 🥺 I love that both of them were so willing to give up their dream for the other (although I am so glad that they decided to stay bc I don't know how I would have handled the last two seasons without them, I do hope they go at the very end though).

Episode Highlights:

- The Conspiracy in the Case: Booth in prison felt unnecessary? He was literally in prison for like 10 minutes I just feel like it didn't add much (except more trauma for Booth 😎👉). And those last 5 minutes were painful!!! I was fully convinced that Sweets was safe for at least another episode bc surely they wouldn't kill a character off with only 5 minutes to go? Oh how wrong was I! I actually threw my phone to the other side of my bed in pure distress and just lay there for 10 minutes crying.

- The Lance to the Heart: ow ow ow ow ow 🥲 I was crying every 5 minutes at this episode. Christine saying "uncle Sweets is taking me to the park" RUINED ME and everyone singing Sweets favourite song at the end I was absolutely done 😭

- The Corpse at the Convention: Now I don't know whether it's because I've watched too much CSI BUT why is everyone still allowed to work on cases when THEY ARE LITERALLY SUSPECTS? Hodgins was literally there analysing evidence in a case he was an actual suspect in and it stressed me out! But this was a pretty good episode.

- The Lost Love in a Foreign Land: This episode was sad 😔 The scene where Booth is talking to all the women was heartbreaking and when the translator just looked at him and said "Do you really need me to translate this?" just devastated me.

- The Puzzler in the Pit: Seeley Lance Sweets Wick 🥲 I'm fine, totally completely, fine.

- The 200th in the 10th: I LOVED THIS EPISODE! It was so fun and different, I loved everybody's alternative roles and the bit where Angela and Hodgins were flirting was so cute.

- The Eye in the Sky: oh this episode pissed me tf off! I was certain it was going to be the start of a Booth Addiction Relapse plot and then when he arrested the guy instead of placing the bet I was RELIEVED AND SO HAPPY and then 5 minutes later he ruined it and I was so disappointed :((

Onwards to Season 11! (*31 episodes left bc I've already watched 3 episodes of season 11🙃)

New crime show obsession?

I've finally decided to dive into the world of Bones and I'm going to take you on the journey with me! So here goes!

☆☆☆

I've watched the pilot and am immediately into it. I'm intrigued by the focus of the show as when I'm watching CSI I find the scenes where they recontruct a victims face from the skull really cool and the people who do irl and soooo talented!

Also, the opening scene? The skull in the bag? Obsessed!

Already in love with Brennan and Booth's dynamic, feels very Finn/Russell - there's been some angst in the past that we haven't let go of - I'm excited for their back-and-forth-banter.

Straight away, I like Brennan and Riva, they're funny and cool and I hope they have as good of a relationship as this first episode has shown.

I probably won't write my thoughts on EVERY episode, maybe do mid-season and season finale summaries idk we'll see!

[kineticallyanywhere]

wip wednesday, why not

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!

Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?

[novantinuum]

self care is unfollowing people who spread negativity on ur dash!! like Damn! yeah i theoretically Agree with your crit but i really Don't wanna see it either bc i want to Celebrate content instead of hyperfixating on the stuff i didn't like about it! yeet!!!

[tsunderin]

Esme Laidir:

a) "It breaks my heart to see how they don't care for you as you do them. Taking, taking, always taking, and what do you have to show for it? No home to return to. No family. Not even your crew regrets your departure. You shatter over them, but you are naught but a sliver in their fingertips."

b) Hands, grasping at her from the shadows, with no body to go with them.

c) Eternal Outcast

Clover Aldwir / Florence Hawke:

a) "Your mother knew it the moment she looked into your eyes that you would only bring death and misery wherever you walked in this world. That is why they both were only too eager to send you away, and why they will never forgive you for what you've taken from them. Stay with me, child. You can do harm no longer while I am your companion..."

b) Wraiths for the most part, filling the air with bitter and sorrowful whispers about being killed, about not being protected. The air musty and oppressive like a long, ceaseless fight.

c) Found Wanting

Sabine de Riva:

a) "Look at you. Standing so proud as if you haven't any heart to break. But we both know differently, don't we, little rat. And we both know how this will end: you at the mercy of someone more powerful than yourself. It will be quick. Inglorious. And not even your cherished Viago would bother himself to remember you in your failure. You are a tool to be passed among talons, nothing more."

b) Rats, but more importantly her "fearscape"--so to speak--would be dirty canals. The rats are just to make her unsteady as she walks; she knows if she falls in, she will drown and this time, no one will save her.

c) I think instead of a tombstone, it would be an unmarked hole. Left no mark, no one even bothered to mourn the loss in even the most basic way. The earth itself wouldn't make a place for her to rest. In the dirt beside as if carved out by a dagger: "Reject"

Rook question of the day 💁

If your Rook encountered the Fear Demon we encounter in Inquisition

A) what would the Fear Demon taunt them with?

B) what would the Fearlings look like? (Physical fear, spiders etc)

C) what would their tombstone say? (Immaterial fear, dying alone etc)

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

[fuitygummy]

I think I’m failing therapy

[fappellmoan]

i mean it’s just kinda crazy cause. and forgive me if i sound somewhat spoiled here but. this trip im doing to take more credits and get experience and make connections etc is obviously expensive and i talked abt it with my parents. a lot before trying to do it. and somehow my dad didn’t understand that yk we would have to pay for it. ??? and is putting me in this spot of ‘figuring out what we’re gonna do about it’ and it’s like dude. i mean i’m going i paid for my fucking flights you know i’m. regardless i’ll be there. and i make $10/hr i have not been able to work consistently and when you don’t have thousands and thousands of dollars just sitting there accumulating more interest it doesn’t fucking last. like what exactly do you want me to say? i’ll drain all my accounts and give what little i have to you? tldr my main point here is the only way this man truly shows any kind of affection is through money and since he fucked me up im glad to take advantage of that lol like why wouldn’t i. so to have it thrown back in my face is just um an awful feeling. like im not even worth this to you. this is just too much. it truly does feel like someone put a number on love and im just not up there

[noxtivagus]

i'll read more from now on again

[meowcentral]

i received an olive branch from someone who really severely broke my heart today and I’m conflicted

[brokenmenswhore]

release | jacaerys velaryon

pairing: jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader

summary: jace is on the brink of snapping and lashing out toward his mother and her council for their lack of action against the greens, so you give him another outlet for his frustration

warnings: smut (MDNI 18+), rough sex, jace is a lil rough & feral in this one, threats (reader consents but may appear as noncon/dubcon)

────── ☾ ──────

“And what of those who sent him?” Jacaerys snapped, questioning his mother as they buried yet another body.

He was angry. He couldn’t help but lose people. Everyone around him kept fleeing or dying, and he tried desperately to hold his tongue, but his patience was slipping. War was inevitable, and he was frustrated at his mother’s lack of action toward the opposing force. He wanted revenge, retaliation, and most of all, he wanted to be the one to give it.

As the eldest son, however, he tried not to cause a scene, knowing he played an important role in this war, and hoping that his silence and unwavering support of his mother’s decisions would breed the proper trust that was needed to allow him more involvement and access in the war.

He was evidently tense at council meetings. His tongue was becoming sharper with each sentence related to the war. He couldn’t help it. He pushed through the doors to your chambers, angry and frustrated from the events of the day.

He stopped short when he saw you turn in your chair to face him. Taking a deep breath, the tension in his body dropped. “I need a hug.”

You smiled, standing and approaching him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You remained a step lower than him in the entrance. He rested his chin on the top of your head.

“I just don’t understand why she won’t do anything,” he began, “I know she doesn’t want this war. I don’t want this war, but it’s happening. We have all lost so much, and it will not stop. Why won’t she do something?”

“Perhaps she believes it can still be avoided,” you responded.

“How much blood from my family must be split before she realizes it can’t?”

Your heart ached for him. You wanted to hold him in the hug forever, curing all his pain and never letting him out of the room.

“I’m sorry, Jacaerys.”

“It is not a fault of yours,” he replied, “it is just exhausting. I wish for a break from all of this, even if just momentary. I feel as if any moment, I may break, and I do not wish to take these frustrations out on my mother or her council. It would only cause the situation to worsen.”

You looked up at him, “then take it out on me.”

“What?”

“Take your frustrations out on me, Jace.”

“You do not deserve such treatment.”

You sighed, “but I am asking for it. Allow yourself to have an outlet. Why else am I here?”

Jacaerys was bewildered, “you are not here for me to take my anger out on. I would not do such a thing.”

“I wish for you to relax. I would not speak the offer if I did not mean it. Please, Jace.”

Jace leaned down to kiss you, initiating a sweet, intimate kiss before his frustrations took over and he deepened the kiss, gripping your thighs, causing you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. He continued to kiss you as you clung to his shoulders, his steps towards the bed shaking you and causing you to nearly fall.

The Velaryon prince was usually quite nice to you, making sure to take things slow and constantly checking in on your comfort and pleasure. He would typically slowly drop your back onto the mattress, but tonight, he quite literally pushed you down, keeping your legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed you into the mattress.

You moaned at the eagerness of it all, Jace’s hands running up and down your side, gripping your waist and pushing your hips down, until your legs were no longer wrapped around his body. Never breaking the kiss, he lifted up your nightdress, his fingers finding their way under your small clothes, not giving you time to ease into it as he began roughly rubbing circles on your clit.

You squealed into the kiss. Jace moved to begin sucking bruises into your neck, his hair falling in front of his face, as he continued to rub you. You couldn’t help but moan, trying your hardest to remain as quiet as possible, since his little brother’s chambers were just a wall away.

“He’s not here,” Jace groaned.

You could barely speak. “What?”

“He’s not in his chambers. He’s out with Arrax. Stop holding back,” Jace demanded, “wanna hear what I’m doing to you.”

This controlling nature was a change, but you didn’t mind it at all. You stopped trying to quiet yourself, a moan of his name leaving your lips as he pushed a finger into you.

“That’s it,” he cooed, “you sound so pretty.”

“T-thank you,” you responded.

Jacaerys didn’t stop curling his finger inside of you, but giggled, “did you just thank me?”

“Mhm,” you moaned.

“You’re too cute,” he said, breaking his frustrated and controlling demeanor for a second, the compliment making your heart swell as he continued to fuck you with his fingers.

He felt you start to squeeze, and he immediately pulled his hand away from you. You sighed in disappointment.

He lifted you from under your arms, shifting you so you were sitting up, as he began to undo his breeches.

“I just wish I could go to King’s Landing,” he started, pushing his small clothes down and allowing his cock to be free, “I’d kill every last one of them.”

He gripped your hair, pushing your face down until it was level with his cock. “Open.”

You did as he told you, opening your mouth as he pushed his cock into your mouth, immediately hitting the back of your throat. He was big, too big to fit completely in your mouth, but you were getting better and better at breathing through your nose to avoid gagging around his cock.

“Not today,” he sighed, “stop holding back or I’ll fuck it out of your throat.”

You listened to him, forgetting everything you know about avoiding gagging, and allowing him to direct your head up and down, his cock hitting the back of your throat with every single thrust. You gagged and choked around him, but he didn’t let up.

“They think they’re so big and bad,” he said, breathy from the pleasure of your mouth around him, “if only they were around me. I could take all of them. I could end their whole fucking line.”

He began to thrust his hips at a vicious pace. You had no choice but to take it, trying your best to continue sucking and swirling your tongue around the head of his cock as he fucked your mouth mercilessly.

“I’d end their whole. fucking. line,” he said again, speaking through each thrust and throwing his head back in pleasure.

“Fuck, get up, I’m not done with you yet,” he commanded, pulling you off of him to stop himself from coming before he wanted to.

You didn’t dare adjust your position without his say so. You sat there waiting for him to put you where he wanted you. He flipped your body over, pressing your face into the pillow as he pulled your hips up to meet his. He took both of your wrists in one hand, locking them behind your back as his other hand guided his cock into your entrance and then moved to your waist as he started rocking into you, pushing you further and further into the mattress.

Your body folded and became weak, as much of you falling into the bed as was possible, the only thing keeping your hips upward was the rough grip Jacaerys had on them. You whined and moaned, your entire body rocking forward with each snap of his hips.

“Seven hells,” he breathed out, his pace never relenting, “are you still okay?”

“Mhm,” you moaned out, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Shit, I hate not being able to hear you,” he said, pulling out of you and flipping your body so you were flat on the mattress, facing him. “That’s better,” he smiled, immediately fucking back into you with no warning.

You cried out, grabbing his face and kissing him through the intensity. He grunted into the kiss, having never fucked you, or anyone for that matter, this hard before. All of his pent up rage and frustration was being taken out on your cunt.

Your back arched off the mattress, Jace taking the opportunity to wrap an arm around your waist, holding you even closer to him.

He spoke with every thrust, “I. Want. Revenge.”

“I k-know,” you moaned out.

“I. Want. Fucking. Revenge.”

It was overwhelming, and the intensity with which he was fucking you started to make your head cloudy. “J- Jace, it’s too m-“

Jacaerys cut you off by kissing you, doing everything he can to stop your words. “You can take it, baby.”

“I c-“ the pressure was so intense. You could feel your walls start to squeeze around his cock, and his pace was relentless.

“You can,” he said, looking directly into your eyes, “and you will.”

You nodded and let him continue splitting you open on his cock, dropping your waist down to the mattress again as he fucked into you, hands rough on your waist as they pushed you down.

Your eyes filled with tears. Jacaerys had never seen you like this, crying from the intensity, sweat sticking your hair to your forehead as you writhed under him. He didn’t know he was capable of making you feel like this, and he didn’t know you would look so fucking pretty as a result.

“Fuck, baby,” he growled, “I’m close.”

You couldn’t even respond, you just continued to whine and moan under him, watching his face contort as he released inside of you. The final few thrusts of his hips were cruel, his large length hitting that spongy spot inside of you that made you see stars. Through his high, he could feel you close, and he forced himself to continue pushing in and out of you until you met your climax.

Your legs shook as a wave of pleasure washed over you, your entire body eventually melting into the bed with weakness. Jace waited a moment before pulling out of you, kissing you as he did so.

You tried hard to catch your breath, but it took you longer than you anticipated. Jace, ever so attentive, looked down at you and asked, “you okay?”

You couldn’t help but smile. “I should start making you mad.”