#why am I still breathing
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Nope, we can watch Velvet Von Ragnar at home.
… Velvet Van Ragnar at home:
Velvet Von Ragnar again, I’ve been Obsessed with a caption O lately. She is so fucking hot. The way she moves is chef’s kiss AND ITS PRECISE AFFF. Like WHAT (the movie is great watch it except for what happens to Velvet I actually screamed in HORROR and DISMAY)
For some reason when it comes to drawing more complex images, I fall straight off the face of a cliff and then go boom because chronic overthinking.
Convinced myself I was drawing for one of those stupid parody novels I scraped together and published a few months ago and I finally made my thoughts shut up 😎
#kiss band#kissfan#kiss fanart#fanart#kiss#gene simmons#kissblr#velvet von ragnar#why am I still awake#why am I still breathing#artists on tumblr#digital fanart#help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me#please#i am screeching
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I was born to fail.
I could have had support throughout my childhood, if CERTAIN people had seen my autism, or CERTAIN GP’s listened to my therapists and the nursery workers who sent her proof of my autism!
I probably would have stayed in ONE school, got my GCSE’s because I’d have had the SUPPORT to cope with my BULLYING, I’d have had the support I needed to move on from that.
I might have even had a job.
But I was always set up to FAIL! By doctors, by teachers. By everyone!
I wouldn’t be stuck with C grades. Yeah, I passed. But I could have had As and Bs! But because I had to keep moving around due to getting kicked out of school, so now I’m stuck with barely a pass. I should have got an A or B grade in English! Especially English! But because of stupid bullying and NO SUPPORT from ANYBODY I passed by the skin of my teeth.
I was born to fucking fail at life.
I wish I was ABORTED or she had a MISCARRIAGE!
I’d never wish a miscarriage on anyone. But least she’d get over it eventually, nothing is worth this pain. Not a single thing!
I just want to cry. I know the truth now. I am a FAILURE. I was born to fail. I was meant to fail. God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t want me to survive.
Maybe, I should just find a way out of this world.
Nothing is worth the tears or pain anymore.
#mental health#mental health awareness#all alone#no one wants me#fake friends#no one likes me#blog#fake people#I was born to fail#born to suffer#failure#can’t carry this anymore#maybe I should leave#I shouldn’t exist#should have never been born#should have been an abortion#should have been a miscarriage#why am I still breathing#why am i still here#don’t want to be alive#don’t want to be here anymore#suicide#self harm#crying my eyes out#can’t do this#everyone failed me#everyone knew I was a failure#meant to fail#god doesn’t love me#god wants me dead
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Through the fog ⛅️☁️
[2022]
#zelda#botw#breath of the wild#zelda breath of the wild#zelda botw#botw link#link#legend of zelda#zelda fanart#botw fanart#daeyumi art#i was & still am very proud of this piece#also in case it’s not apparent by now teal is my favorite color i like using it too much in my art it is a delicious color i want to eat it#looking back at this piece makes me miss the botw shrines why couldn’t they have just stayed in the landscape in totk
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Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨
#I didn’t end up going to the rave just stayed in with my buddies and had KFC (( Korean fried chicken )) and laughed til we cried so#it was still a wonderful start to the new year 💞🥰💞#but the fwb wanted pics of my potential rave look so I figured eh I brought the stuff anyways#and now I’m imagining locking eyes with a stranger on the warm and writhing dance floor#the beat thumps and shakes and rattles the air in our breath as the spotlights dance in the reflections of our held gaze#he pushes his way through the crowd with a singular stare and a wicked smile on his face#I smile and turn my back on him arching myself so he knows I am giving what he’s looking for#I take careful steps through the revelry toward the edge where the crowd thins out#I prop myself up on an available stool in a lonely corner of the club as he closes the distance between us#“now I wonder why you dragged me all the way here” he utters in a playful growl “trying to get far away from the crowd?”#I smile and I nod. “obviously. can’t really do what I want with you out there”#his eyes perk up and his smile gives away the desire building inside him. “yeah? why don’t you show me then.”#“I thought you’d never ask” I smirk. I reach down into my pants and pull out my phone#“so this one is blue. he’s the oldest but he’s sooooo sweet. and that’s Eva. my only girl she’s sassy but she loves swea-” he leaves#whaddahell I say demurely whimpering even… whaddahell…#gpoy
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Headcanon that Ais never feels fully rested. He doesn't feel tired, but he doesn't feel right either. Not since joining the groupmind.
He sleeps, but his mind is never really at peace. When and if he manages to fall into a deep enough sleep, he's in a constant state of something akin to lucid dreaming.
He gets flashes of the other members of the group mind in place of any real rest. Their current actions; errant memories; whispers in long-dead languages he's leaned to understand.
#also sometimes when he wakes up he's *immediately* violent#wakes up in a rage sometimes and he doesn't really know why--he's the most dangerous one to wake up bc you never know WHO you'll get and#even if you get Ais he doesn't have the wherewithal to stop himself--damage is already done by the time he....#(what is that word i am looking for?)#the word for...debris floating on water? flotsam?? i swear there's another word...#also very difficult to tell when he's asleep - he gets in bed and just breathes evenly and you would think that he MUST be asleep but he#has that kind of ...discipline?? where he can force his body to relax#he sleeps on his back for the most part (less muscle strain) and lays eerily still it's v unnatural#if he's ultra comfy he's a stomach sleeper but Basically No One is aware of this#he'll stomach sleep with Princess & the pack sometimes#would sleep on the bed with his shoes on sometimes i think i'm sorry it's true. just hang 'em off the edge babe there's blood on the soles#sigh ais you are such a balancing act i need to write you MORE#ais touchstarved#toxintouch writing: headcanons#ais headcanon#queue: time for sleep#queued post
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alright I’m bored so here’s my extremely optimistic crack theory: assuming katsuki seeing a vestige means we’ll see him in the vestige realm, when kudo sorted through izuku’s memories he put his forehead on the wall right??
what if izuku is having a crisis about being left quirkless again and vestige katsuki needs to touch foreheads with izuku to show him all his memories of izuku being heroic without a quirk and he tells him “you never needed a quirk. you were always a hero” or something like that because it’s what izuku always needed to hear
#bakudeku#bkdk#me at three am waking up in cold sweat#HERES HOW BKDK FOREHEAD TOUCH CAN STILL WIN#and then they kiss with tongue and hori shows all of it bc he’s a weird little freak and we all win#and everyone clapped#anyway that’s what I would do if#if I could possess horikoshi’s body and write the resolution#and then I’d add 30 panels of hugging and kissing and post them all online immediately on his Twitter then log out#this isn’t even a theory this is just me explaining why the plot demands a bkdk forehead touch it’s all there it’s been set up#and izuku sees all the memories of him standing up to katsuki and sludge villain and the river scene again#and them forehead touching is at the for front#and izuku closes his eyes and breathes deeply#BC ITS WHAT HES ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR AND HE HEARS IT FROM KACCHAN#anyway horikoshi let me into your brain I have ideas now draw it DO IT HORI DO IT LISTEN TO ME HORI WE CAN AND WE SHOULD
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A girl in class called me cute today I'M GONNA IMPLODE. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW JOYOUS AND WHIMSICAL I FELT. GETTING COMPLIMENTS FROM GIRLS HIT DIFFERENT
#can we all agree that getting complimented by a girl is a transcending experience#compliments from girls >>>>>>>#i swear i was physically shaking when that happened#OH MY GOD I CANT DESCIRBE HOW HAPPY I STILL AM#she called me cute... HELLO?????#LIKE WTF WHY ME??? DOES THIS MEAN SOMETHING???#holy shit dude a GIRL called ME cute#im gonna go insane I GOT CALLED CUTE BY A GIRL#im never gonna forget this EVER#breathes heavily while foam appears in my mouth as i stare straight at you#SHE CALLED ME CUTE KEJGJWJGHDIWJFUEJG#what did i do to deserve this divine gift from the heavens above#SOMEONE CALLED ME CUTE AND SHES A GIRL LIKE WHAT????#did i mention i got called cute by a GIRL???#please sedate me im going insane
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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.
Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.
#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl#I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end#They are precious#Rei is so cute I love this guy#He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special#They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part#It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together#Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man#Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing#and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei#No homo daddies#Buddy daddies#kazuki x rei#Domestic gays
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being a fan of any other character feels like giving somebody a genuine heartfelt compliment, being a fan of rincewind feels like nonstop day and night 25/8 staring into your aquarium where a lonely sickly shrimp resides never leaving it out of your sight and screaming at the top of your lungs when it eats or gets slightly better because you've been medicating it carefully for the last month and left your job just to care for it
#discworld#rincewind#alternatively like looking into his window with binoculars and every single time he does something muttering under your breath#“oh yeah thats what we love to see yes keep going make yourself that sandwich yes dont stop go take a nap lemme see you get therapy yesss”#why has nobody invented platonic intrusion into personal life yet /J JOKING#cw stalking#because it still counts even in a joke#silly little thoughts#i feel like a zookeeper trying to nurse an exotic centipede to health when i write fanfiction about him getting psychological help#i feel like uh#why am i like this#anyways yeah reblog if youd buy him a ring of chalk with a bell attached for entertainment and beak health
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zelink doodle
#trying 2 post more unfinished art/doodles#my art#zelink#loz#link loz#zelda#botw#breath of the wild#totk#totk link#totk zelda#botw link#botw zelda#so many tags. why.#loz fanart#legend of zelda#anyways put zelda in hateno village outfit bc its cute and all her other outfits are stupidly detailed#i like imagining them living in hateno village together :)#btw i am under the strong belief that after totk zelda would not become queen. 1. the world has been without a monarchy for a century#dont bring it back. 2. i dont think she would want to. i think she would still explore and help rebuild#but she wouldnt be queen.
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See, I hold back when I write. It could be far angstier than it is. I could be handing out forehead kisses left and right. Forehead kisses as someone cries and bleeds after a battle. Delirious from blood loss and pain and needing reassurance. Forehead kisses when they know their squadmate is going to die. A parting gift. One last way to comfort them, to remind them they’re loved.
I’m just saying I could make things more painful than they already are.
#whump#space chatter#the bad batch#the clone wars#<- it is always about the clones my man#tears streaming down someone’s cheek#breath coming out panicked and short#whimpering that they aren’t even aware they’re letting out#and someone holding them#brushing sweat dirt and tears kff of their face#shushing them with a gentleness they rarely show#‘it’s okay you’re okay don’t even worry we’re getting you out of here’#they know it won’t happen#they know it’s the end#but they hold their dying brother and rock him to comfort him in those last moments#and when the coughing starts - spattered with blood - they place a gentle kiss on their forehead#tell them it’s okay. it’s okay to let go.#and only when the body in their arms goes completely still do they let the agony show on their face#I TOLD YOU I COULD MAKE THINGS ANGSTIER I GO EASY#why is my brain both going: write this about echo and Rex while also going bUT WOULDNT THIS BE PAINFUL WITH HUNTER THO!#echo holding Rex#echo holding CROSSHAIR?!?!#but for some reason I am like 👀 but Hunter tho#I don’t put him through enough whump#apologies for the afternoon angst I am a Menace
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Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).
I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".
#my characters#oops i fell in love#can you guys tell im stressed and hyperfixating on my own fucked up ocs cause i am#also brents nickname at work and in rights phone is fuckwad#and hes like yeah if im called anything else at this point by right its weird and uncomfortable#and when it is finally approached as if paul is only in rights phone as shitty-ex (answer) now that hes an excoworker#what was he in rights phone BEFORE the transfer#and right is like annoying dickwad ... karen is like oh i see thats why you call him a dick still#thats like a nickname from his phone name#and brent has to ask why fuckwad and dickwad and right looks at him and takes a deep breathe before saying#because i like the word wad and it is very comforting bc like a wad of paper ? you can throw it away#and so if i realize i gotta get rid of attachment i wad it up#also dont tell paul that dickwad was a form of attachment or he will never shut the fuck up about it#karen and brent both swear to never mention it to paul#paul is honestly such a weird anomaly in the plot bc he doesnt directly work at the same police station#but he is CONSTANTLY a topic of gossip or annoyance or updates#hes literally karens best friend! aside from chris he was one of the few right worked with who HAD touch privileges before right banned it#hes also just genuinely well liked but no one can actually tell him or he will become insufferable#which is a crime that rick is guilty of once when he meets paul and karen introduces him#and rick is just OH i know that name! youre her best friend#and she looks so betrayed and paul looks so delighted and stunned and radiant over this fact#and rick makes up for it before the night is over which is why karen forgives him - he made paul back in his place#anyway yeah right has lots of fears and hes my bundle of anxiety and i love him and his atrocious nicknames#i think i would die if i gave someone a rude nickname even affectionately irl#also also final note on this ig#since right is a detective and not always at the station its worth pointing out brent and karen just work taking calls and#doing misc other work at their desks which are nearby so they 100% bond and its wonderful#ok i lied final note on them is#for a very long time karen has to check with right to make sure she isnt annoying brent because he doesnt emote well#and shes scared she wont know if shes annoying him please help youre like the only one who reads his moods accurately
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i think ed would feel like in theory he ought to benefit from putting on a set of noise cancelling headphones and listening to a guided meditation but every time he tries it takes approximately 30 seconds for him to start thinking “i could be listening to system of a down right now”
#‘what do they mean lie still? am i not supposed to move at ALL?’#‘why does breathing take so long? does it always take this long??’#‘this music sucks. its like enya if you sucked out all the shit that makes enya sound kind of ok.’#‘i have an itch on my arm am i allowed to get that’#‘what would it taste like if you had to suck all the enya out of enya with a straw’#‘would this be working better if i had a buttplug in’
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I'm so frikkin lost, like, I just had the dumbest HC ever.
Just imagine:
TOTK Link didn't get to keep his arm and he and Zelda spend their time teaching those children in Hateno after no more world-saving stuff has to be done.
But just imagine if they would have like a day where they susj sing stuff and Zelda and the kids go "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands" and our poor one armed Boi Link just sits there, thinking something like 'goddess pls end me"
#Wtf are my late night thoughts#Like huh#tloz#totk#the legend of zelda#Link#botw link#totk link#Hateno school#headcanon#why#Just why am I like this#This is a very random shit post and in the end it's not that funny but I still have to laugh about it#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild
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the fact that i immediately landed an awesome job right out from graduation but then got covid in august and now my brain doesn't work right and i might lose my job because of it . there's a funny joke in here somewhere maybe
#txt#haha. like. how lucky was i to get this job. and unlucky to get sick and have my brain fucked over#also a loss of time perception. time does not move for me it feels like 7am still and its 10am#i feel like i got lobotomized. brainfog and much less of a filter of what i say/do and fatigue etc#shortness of breath when im stressed too. fucking annoying#i keep fucking up on the simplest tasks at work. literally filled out a simple form wrong that i've been doing right since day 1#and my supervisor is patient and i tried explaining brainfog but idt she takes it seriously and she gets more annoyed the more i screw up#and like. i need this job!!!!!!!!!!! it pays disgustingly well!!!!!! but if i cant do simple tasks right anymore then what am i even doing#ive had this stuff since late august but its so much worse suddenly and i dont know why :((#to be deleted /#<- if i can even remember i made this post at all LOL someone shoot me
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it is truly so boring that in a series that hits on racism and sexuality that when talking about racism and sexuality in the show and in the fanbase people act like you are making mountains out of mole hills
#yeah i actually am still thinking abt that armand shit show from the other day#because what pissed me off the most are people acting like its crazy to be like#''Hey! maybe you should think about why you think he is undesired and sexually inept when we shown and told the opposite''#we love talking abt how the writers trust the audience to have two braincells and then get offended when asked use them#and- that poc are not safe from upholding racist steeotypes like i rolled my eyes hard asf#actually because that one blogger that posted their response almost immediately after i dm'd them privately#made some vague post being like ''well we never saw them fuck so '' or sm shit idk#and i just had to accept there was no point in wasting my breath#but i also still wanna talk about it because it Is interesting and it Should be broken down in plain english#but dw ima be talking about iwtv and race/sexuality till the crows come home#char.txt
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